LIVING SEXUALITIES: Negotiating Heteronormativity in Middle Class Bangladesh
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LIVING SEXUALITIES: Negotiating Heteronormativity in Middle Class Bangladesh Shuchi Karim This dissertation is part of the Research Programme of Ceres, Research School for Resource Studies for Development. Funded by the Royal Netherlands Embassy in Dhaka, Bangladesh © Shuchi Karim 2012 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the author. ISBN 978-94-91478-08-6 Cover photo by Martin Blok LIVING SEXUALITIES: Negotiating Heteronormativity in Middle Class Bangladesh RUIMTE VOOR SEKSUALITEIT: Hoe de middenklasse in Bangladesh omgaat met heteronormativiteit Thesis to obtain the degree of Doctor from the Erasmus University Rotterdam by command of the Rector Magnificus Professor dr H.G. Schmidt and in accordance with the decision of the Doctorate Board The public defence shall be held on 11 December 2012 at 10.00 hrs by Shuchi Karim born in Sylhet, Bangladesh Doctoral Committee Promotor Prof.dr. B.N.F. White Other Members Prof.dr. A Cornwall, University of Sussex, UK Prof.dr. Firdous Azim, BRAC University, Bangladesh Dr. W.J. Harcourt Co-promotors Dr. D. Zarkov Dr. A. Chhachhi Dedicated to Ammu, Abbu and Shayma Contents List of Images, Maps and Appendices ix Acronyms x Abstract xiv 1 INTRODUCTION: CONCEPTS FRAMING THE RESEARCH 1 Sexuality and Heteronormativity 1 Why Study (Middle) Class 7 The Bengali Middle Class 10 The (Urban) Middle Class in Bangladesh 12 Space: Between and Beyond the Private-Public Binary 14 Sexuality and Development 18 Research Objectives 20 Research Questions 21 Structure of the Remaining Chapters 21 Notes 22 2 RESEARCH METHODOLOGY 24 Section 1: Methods 27 Ethnography 27 Narratives/Life History 28 Group 1: Non-heterosexual Women 30 Group 2: Single Heterosexual Women 31 Group 3: Gay/Bisexual Men 31 Interviews 31 (Focus) Group Discussions 32 Study of Organizations/Groups 32 Documents 33 Section 2: Notes from the (Urban) Field 33 vi Contents vii The (Urban) Field 35 Power Relations between Researcher and ‘Subject’ 39 Ethics and Confidentiality 41 Data Analysis and Validity 42 Obstacles to Researching Sexuality 42 Limitations 44 Notes 46 3 CONTEXTUAL BACKGROUND: GENDER AND SEXUALITY IN MIDDLE CLASS BANGLADESH 47 Section 1: Bangladesh 47 Section 2: Middle Class and Gender in Bangladesh 52 Sexual Normativity in Middle Class Households 53 Dhaka, the Context 59 Section 3: Sexual Politics of the State 64 Section 4: Sexuality and Religion 69 Section 5: Discourses of Sexuality in Bangladesh 73 Bangla Language and Sexuality 73 Sexuality Discourses in Literature and Research 75 Notes 79 4 MAKING OF THE SEXUAL PRIVATE: AMBIGUITIES OF FAMILY AND HOUSEHOLD 83 Section 1: The Urban Family-Household 83 Housing, Space and Privacy 85 Section 2: Private Spaces of Home as a Site of Female Sexual Construction 95 Spaces of Conflicts: ‘Asexual Youth’ versus ‘Sexual Adults’ – Abuses, Agencies and Practices 103 Conclusion 110 Notes 111 5 'LIVING SEXUALITIES' THROUGH MARRIAGE NORMATIVITY: NON- NORMATIVE JOURNEYS THROUGH DIFFERENT PHASES OF LIFE 112 Sexual Subjectivity versus Marriage Normativity 113 Notes 125 viii LIVING SEXUALITIES: NEGOTIATING HETERONORMATIVITY IN MIDDLE CLASS BANGLADESH 6 NON-NORMATIVE HOUSEHOLDS: SCOPES OF AGENCY 126 Section 1: Agency through Gender and Generational Privileges 126 Non-Heterosexual Women’s Negotiation with Norms 126 Men Negotiating Normativity: Gender Privileges of Masculinity 132 Defying Marriage: Single Heterosexual Women’s Struggle 137 Section 2: Non-Normative Lives of Female Sex Worker ‘Lesbians’ 141 Camaraderie, Networks and Support Groups: Ways of Survival 145 Conclusion 147 Notes 148 7 SEXUALITY IN PUBLIC SPACES: VIRTUAL REALITY FOR LOVE AND SEX 150 Section 1: ‘Sexing the Public’ in Dhaka 150 2009: ‘Sexuality is happening’ 153 Section 2: Virtual ‘Reality’ – Non-heteronormative Groups in Cyber World 158 Conclusion 168 Notes 169 8 SEXUAL POLITICS OF IDENTITY AND HETERONORMATIVE HIERARCHY OF DEVELOPMENT AND ACTIVISM 171 Section 1: Sexual Identities – from Personal to the Political 172 Visibility, Representation and Credibility: Gender, Class and Age Dynamics in Sexual-identity Based Groups 182 Section 2: Players and Power Dynamics in the Field of Sexuality in Bangladesh 192 Sexuality and/in Development 196 Notes 206 9 CONCLUSION 207 Findings and Contribution 208 Sexuality and Heteronormativity: (Re)defining the Concepts 208 Challenging, Resisting and De-constructing Heteronormativity 211 Identities beyond Fixities: Choices and Agency in Practice 214 Sexual Politics: Relevance and Gaps in Development Discourses 216 New Realities, New Knowledge: What Lies Ahead? 219 References 221 Appendices 238 List of Images and Appendices Images 1 Bengal: Bangladesh and West Bengal (India) 10 2 Women making a traditional quilt: Nakshi Kantha 25 3 Bangladesh in South Asia 48 4 Map of Bangladesh (with Administrative Districts) 49 5 Dhaka City Map 62 6 ‘An outrageous notice’ (The Daily Star, April 27, 2011) 65 7 High Rise Apartment housing in Dhaka 84 8 Everyday Dhaka Traffic 85 9 A page from a cervical cancer prevention campaign in Dhaka, with focus on the translation of the question: Will sexually active women benefit from the vaccine? 96 10 Picture of an Opinion wall in the Coalition Office, Dhaka (2010) 180 11 Message from women’s Same Sex group (Sex Worker Lesbian Group Shomoy, in Bangla): It is TIME to speak with an open heart. 181 Appendices 1 Basic words of sex and sexuality in Bangla 238 2 Commonly used conversational words and phrases/ expressions of sex and sexuality in Bangla (urban Dhaka) 240 3 A chronology of Bangladesh LGBT history (2009) 245 ix Acronyms ASK Ain O Shalish Kendra, Bangladesh BoB Boys of Bangladesh BRAC formerly known as Bangladesh Rural Advancement Committee GDI Gender Development Index HIV/AIDS Human immunodeficiency virus infection / Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome ICPD International Conference on Population and Development IGLHRC International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission LGBTQ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer MDG Millennium Development Goal MSM Men having Sex with Men NGO Non-Government Organization SRHR Sexuality and Reproductive Health and Rights SPH School of Public Health, BRAC University STD Sexually Transmitted Disease UN United Nations UNDP United Nations Development Programme x Acknowledgements PhD can feel like a long and lonely journey, where me and my thesis ac- companied each other for years, going through our own saga of ups-and- downs. But, it has also been a journey of friendship, joy, happiness, support and compassion – received from countless people. It helped me learn to re- discover myself, appreciate the unconditional love and support of my family and friends which otherwise I tend to take for granted. I owe this thesis to family, friends, mentors, teachers and a cat. Firstly, I would like to thank Prof. Firdous Azim who has been one of the most influential people in my life. A boss, a mentor, a friend and a genu- ine source of inspiration, Firdous Ma’am, you have been a ‘gift’ to my life. It is because of Prof. Azim’s never-ending encouragement (and at times threats of ‘firing’ me from my job) that I finally wrote a PhD proposal in 2006, on a topic that I felt passionate about. The germ of the thesis owes its origin to the ‘Pathways of Women’s Empowerment’ research program’s initial phase of brain storming workshops at BRAC University in 2006, where issues of ‘sexualities’ were constantly discussed. I was fortunate to be part of those discussions and to hear people like Prof. Azim and Prof. Nivedita Menon who actually laid out possibilities of a long term research work on women’s bodily integrity and sexualities in South Asian context. Pathways later chose to direct its main focus towards religion and concept of bodily integrity while I decided to take up sexualities as focus of my own PhD proposal. In a way, this thesis remains connected with Pathways’ re- search project in spirit and hopefully contributes to the amazing work that it did in the past five years across continents. I would like to express my gratitude to the Department of Women and Gender Studies, at Dhaka University, where I worked as a teacher under the project ‘Institutionalisation of Women’s Studies Department in collabora- tion with ISS, Netherlands’ funded by Dutch Government. The project funded my PhD at the ISS. Thank you to all involved in the project. xi xii LIVING SEXUALITIES: NEGOTIATING HETERONORMATIVITY IN MIDDLE CLASS BANGLADESH Even before I arrived at the ISS, I met with Dr. Amrita Chhachhi in Dhaka who expressed her confidence in my proposed work area and en- couraged me to apply here. I wrote to Dr. Dubravka Zarkov exploring pos- sibility of having a supervisor in her, and she was gracious enough to take me on board as her student. I ended up having a wonderful team of super- visors (or Promotors as they are addressed at the ISS): Prof. Ben White as my ‘Umbrella’ Promotor and he indeed acted as a BIG umbrella protecting me from all kinds of troubles (and I am prone to troubles anyway). Dr. Zarkov and Dr. Chhachhi as my Co-Promotors took me under their wings, teaching, helping, supporting and mentoring from day one. Each of these fabulous ladies not only provided with academic support, guidance and much-needed disciplining tools, but they played the roles of compassionate souls that I could rely on, provided me with patient ears where I could scream my frustrations out, and with their solid hearts-of-gold they em- braced my occasional arrogance, ignorance, rebellious attitude. THANK YOU so very much, for showing that teaching is much more than pages- after-pages of text, instructions and red ink/track-change comments but a responsibility only the brave hearts like you should take up. Friends – ah, how does one thank friends who are integral part of life! I have always been lucky with friends, and my luck continued at the ISS too.