The CordThe tie that binds since 1926 Weekly

THE ROAD TO THE VANIER CUP DOES IT ACTUALLY PAY TO CHEAT? WAITING BAD FOR DATING A perfect 4-0 record from here on in would give Laurier its A panel of profs was commissioned to find the one Internet Men can be shifty, ladies - you've got to take the bull by the second Vanier Cup. We gauge Laurier's chances at national purchased essay passed off as the real deal. Everything you need horns and make that relationship happen in the new, glory in a special postseason section to know about handing in other people's work at WLU female-dominated dating game says Emma McFarlane 16 ... PLAYOFF PREVIEW PAGE 12-13 ...FEATURE, PAGES 14-15 ...STUDENT LIFE PAGE Volume 46 Issue 12 WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2,2005 www.cordweekly.com Women's take OUA title

MARK D. HOPKINS beautiful set play where Gerrie Sports Writer faked a pass to Laurier captain Erica Howard from behind the "Three-peat, three-peat, three- Gaels' net but then opted to shoot peat!" was the sound of 27 Golden herself, recording her fifth tally of Hawks celebrating their third the afternoon. provincial title in as many years on "(We] have been practicing Sunday afternoon at University that," commented an ecstatic Stadium. Gerrie minutes after the final Referring to this game as a whistle. "We've been trying to do it thriller would not do justice to and it hasn't been working in prac- what transpired on the field tice but it worked in the game, so between Laurier's Hawks and it's awesome." Queen's Golden Gaels in the OUA It was also Gerrie, the league's women's lacrosse gold medal scoring leader, who propelled game. Laurier into the extra frame as she WLU managed to squeak their tied the score at sevens with mere Jordan Jocius way to an 8-7 overtime victory to minutes left in regulation. HALLOWEEN HOOLIGANS - Boxing movie legend Rocky Balboa (Mike Stewart) and his trainer Micky (Andrew capture the school's fourth "It feels so good," she explained. Sukhiani), warm up with theme music blasting from a personal stereo before entering the Turret Nightclub on championship since "Everybody hates us, and it just Monday, October 31, 2005. FOR A UNIQUE TAKE ON WLU AND HALLOWEEN SEE OPINION PAGE 7 lacrosse was officially named an felt so good to rub it in their face. OUA sport in 1998. The game fea- We wanted it so much more than tured five ties and the Hawks they did." never took the lead until first-year The entire game was not golden attack Kirsten Gerrie netted the for Laurier, though, as they fell Murder suspect extradited game winner in the extra frame. behind early in the match. The overtime marker came off a - Please see LAX. page 10 man found in Connecticut has been charged for 'intentional and deliberate' hit-and-run incident in Waterloo that left two brothers dead outside local nightclub

CATHERINE NANN "What happened at the scene, News Writer in our community, obviously sends a sort of a ripple effect," said Paul Jeyarajah Alexander, a 21- Larkin. "A great impact is felt on year-old man from Toronto, was the University culture because one arrested in Ridgefield, Conneticut of the victims was, in fact, a stu- and charged with two counts of dent at the University of second degree murder and two Waterloo." counts of attempted murder on On Friday, October 17, Waterloo Monday, October 24. investigators appeared in Contribuled Photo Alexander is charged with the Kitchener provincial court and HOMICIDE VICTIMS - The deaths of Chandrasegar obtained an arrest warrant for Nagulasigamany brothers. Nagulasigamany, a University of Alexander in relation to the hit- Waterloo student, and his brother weapon used in this one was a and-run incident of the Soumiyan Nagulasigamany in a vehicle, whereas traditionally in Nagulasigamany brothers, in hit-and-run incident outside of a society the weapon is expected to which Alexander became wanted popular Waterloo nightspot, The be a knife or gun." for two counts of attempted mur- Revolution, last month. When asked if there are current- der and two counts of second- According to Inspector Bryan ly any other suspects involved degree murder. Larkin of the Waterloo Regional with the hit-and-run, Inspector Through meetings with the FBI, Police, this hit-and-run was Larkin revealed that the Waterloo two Waterloo investigators were "intentional and deliberate." Regional Police are currently look- sent to Connecticut to work with After a disturbance between the ing for other suspects. Homicide the New Haven office of the FBI, two parties at The Revolution, branch investigators are adamant where they went before a US Court located on Marsland Drive, the for anyone with knowledge about and received a provisional warrant incident made its way to Dearborn the incident to come forward so allowing the FBI to execute a Place where the brothers were tar- that "we can bring this matter to a Canadian warrant in the United geted and run down by a vehicle. resolution." States. Inspector Larkin refers to the Larkin described the tragic tragic incident as a "homicide dif- events of September 23 as a "trag- ferent than any others because the ic and horrific incident." Please see HOMICIDE, page 2

SUDUKO IS HERE! COMING NEXT WEEK Getty Images/AFP The addictive number crunching game has come to The Cord honours WLU's contribution to WWII with a DREAMING OF A FREER MEDIA - Stephen Hachemi, the son of slain The Cord. Complete it first and you could win special Remembrance Day pullout feature. Also, we Iranian-Canadian journalist Zahra Kazemi, sits by his mother's portrait at a tickets to the K/W Symphony sit down with Dan Robert to ask him your questions. vigil. The Worldwide Press Freedom Index was released October 21, ranking ••• PAGE 0' FUN, PAGE 22 For more, visit www.cordweekly.com Canada 21st overall FULL STORY PAGE 16, EDITORIAL REACTION PAGE 6 2 » WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 News [The Cord Weekly

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The Cord Weekly 75 University Avenue West Waterloo, Ontario N2L3CS

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2 , 2005 VOLUME 46 ISSUE 12

Next Issue : November 9 QUOTE OF THF. WEEK "It smells like teacher-breath in here!"

- Photo Manager Jordan Jocius, on how the WLUSP office smells like the bad breath of his primary school teachers when someone eats food in it CONTRIBUTORS Laurie Aure Mark D. Hopkins Ada Sharpc (Catherine Flynn Parry Sohi Micacla Bontjc Tanya Doroslopac Stefan Plaszck Catherine Nann Mark Ciesluk Greg Galoska Dru Jeffries Leo Yu Vivck Sarma Darryl Cremasco WLUSP STAFF

Pagination Editor. Dave Alexander Production Assistant Ananthan Sinnadurai Dan Belguc Janet Linseman Copy Editing Manager. Aria Latto-Haii Copy Editors Mark Culligan Drew Kannegiesser Emily Rielly Mike Zabic Katie Cheng Ksehia Papchieva Heather Olavcson Mallory O'Brien Photo Managers Jordan Jocius Sydney Helland Online Production Manager. lason shim Human Resources s.inu> Ojju IT Manager. Regan WaWt Distribution Manager. lco Yu

WLUSP ADMINISTRATION Jordan Jocius President Anthony Pisenelli BUSINESS DIVAS - Francine Chambers and daughter Carinne Pickering, a WLU with their alternative. VP: Finance Fra»«r McCrackcn grad, tampon/maxi pad VP: Advertising Angela Foster VP: Brantford James Scott Chair of the Board Penny Shearer Vice Chair. Sanjay Pottinger Board of Directors Evelyn Chiu Local mother and daughter business team want to change the way women cope with their fertility cycle George East Arthur Wong ADVERTISING AH advertising inquiries should be directed to ADRIAN MA Their goal was to make a mark on Years later, Carinne has utilized ness acumen by starting her own VP: Advertising AngeiaFoster at 884-0710, ext. News Editor the multi-billion dollar feminine her Laurier-honed business skills ventures and learning by trial and 3560 or [email protected] hygiene product industry with the to establish this small but growing error. Now teaming together with COLOPHON A local mother-and-daughter Diva Cup. business. She finds this more Carinne, she complements her business duo is trying to make an Carinne, 27, says that her time rewarding than taking a position daughter's more technical skills The Cord Weekly is the official student newspaper impact on women everywhere - at Laurier is one of the reasons at a larger corporation. with her own charisma and savvy. of theWilfrid Laurier University community. one diva at a time. why she has been able to with- "A lot of people feel that when "I just knew someday we should "I know we're changing women's stand the pressures ofrunning her you Laurier, kind of work together," Started in 1926 as the College Corel, The Cord Weekly is an go to you're smiles Francine. editorially independent newspaper published by Wilfrid lives around the world, and that's own business. being molded to be working in a Their aim is to make Diva Cup a Laurier University Student Publications, Waterloo, a corpo- ration without share capital. WLUSP is governed by its board pretty cool," says Francine "I was in the co-op program, so big corporation," she says. "It's "fun and appealing" product; the of directors. Chambers. kind of like almost girls themselves try to make the Chambers is referring to the "Almost everyone everyone I graduat- business of selling more fun by wlujgra product that she and her daughter I graduated with ed with works for wearing bright pink jackets to gu&icar&ris Carinne Pickering have invested works for Proctor and Gamble or Proctor and their tradeshows and meetings. Opinions expressed within The Cord are those of the author both their lives into marketing: the Gamble, or Women are and do not necessarily reflect those of the Editorial Board, "It's a tough job. very The Cord, WLUSP, WLU or MasterWeb Printing. Diva Cup. They say that it is a Unilever. That's what you almost Unilever, or some set in their ways, they don't want All content appearing in The Cord bears the copyright more convenient, less expensive, big consumer to talk about their menstrual expressly of their creator(s) and may not be used without written consent. and less wasteful alternative to think when you're [at Laurier]. But products company cycles," says Francine about trying TheCordis created using Macintosh computers running OS tampons and other feminine That's what you to keep things light-hearted. "We X.2 using Adobe Creative Suite 2 (InDesign, Photoshop, hygiene products. 5 ' Acrobat. Distiller and Illustrator) and Quark Xpress 6.1. you can do whatever you want. almost think when try to take away the taboo of the Nikon D7O and Canon Rebel XT 8.0 megapixel digital cam- "We have women running up to you're [at Laurier], product." erasare used for principal photography. Adobe Acrobat and Distiller are used to create PDF files which are burned us, so excited, like we're celebri- but you don't have Carinne agrees that their busi- directly on plates to be mounted on the printing press. ties," says Carinne, describing the - Carinne Pickering, Laurier BBA graduate to do that - you can ness can be at times difficult, but TheCordis printedby Master Web Printingand is published every Wednesday during theschool year except for special reaction to the Diva Cup. "I think do whatever you that she is happy to be her own editions which are published as required. that's the underlying motivation want." boss. The Cord's circulation fora normal Wednesdayissue is 7,000 us. us I me so is copies and enjoys a readership of over 10.000. for It's what keeps going. that experience aided Francine is proud of her daugh- "I guess the disadvantage that know I couldn't be working this much," says Carinne, who worked ter's university education. As the it never really shuts off; with a Cord subscription rates are $20.00 per term lor addresses within Canada. hard if I didn't believe in this prod- at Microsoft for two terms. She child of an immigrant family that small business you have all the TheCord Weeklyis a proud member of theCanadian 112 uct." also feels that she gained valuable "had nothing", Francine never had responsibilities," says Carinne. University Press (CUP), since 2004. The business venture developed experience from working on the same educational opportuni- "But you have a lot of pride, I The Campus Network is TheCord's national cMjM advertising agency. in 2003 after Carinne graduated exhausting projects and from fac- ties. A vibrant and energetic think, when it's your own compa- from Laurier with a BBA degree. ing tight deadlines. woman, she developed her busi- ny."

Preamble to The Corel Constitution

The Cordwill keep faith with its readers by presenting news and expressions of opinions comprehensively, accurately and fairly. Waterloo Police, FBI team up to catch suspect The Cord believes in a balanced and impartial presentation of all relevant facts in a news report, and of all substantial opinionsin a matter of controversy. arrested without incident. Due to ative community and significant that Paul Alexander had waived Thestaff of The Cordshall uphold all commonly held ethical - from HOMICIDE cover conventions of journalism. Whenan error of omission or of the fact that the arrest occurred on interaction with the Toronto his right to an extradition hearing. commission has occurred, that error shall be acknowledged promptly US soil, the FBI on behalf of Police Services and other Greater Alexander appeared briefly in a When statements are made that are critical of an individual, After obtaining the provisional Waterloo Regional Police executed Toronto Area Police Services. Kitchener courtroom last week, or an organization, we shall give those affected theopportu- nity to reply at the earliest time possible. warrant, the Waterloo investiga- the arrest. Alexander is currently back in and will be back in Kitchener a Ethical journalism requires impartiality, and consequently tors, as well as the FBI, attended a Larkin stated that it has been "a the K/W area awaiting a bail hear- Provisional Court for bail hear- conflicts ofinterest and theappearance ofconflicts of inter- residence in the suburb of fairly investigation," ing. At a previous hearing that ing court on November 21. est will be avoided by all staff. active in Ridgefield, a subdivision of New which he attributes much of the Waterloo Regional Police investi- T he only limits of any newspaper are those of the world around it, and so The Cord will attempt to cover its world Haven, where Paul Alexander was information received to a cooper- gators attended, Larkin revealed with a special focus on Wilfrid Laurier University, and the communityofKitchener-Waterloo, and with a special ear to the concerns of the students of Wilfrid Laurier University. Ultimately, 'The Cord will be bound by neither philosophy, nor geography in its mandate. TheCord has an obligation to foster freedom of the press Day and freedom of speech. This obligation is best fulfilled when 5 Action News debate and dissent are encouraged, both in the internal workings of the paper, and through The Cord's contact with Weather Forecast the student body.

TheCordwill always attempt to dowhat is right, with fear of neither repercussions, nor retaliation. The purpose of the studentpress is to act as an agent of social awareness, and so shall conduct the affairs of our newspaper. TheCordWeekly News WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005'3 VOCAL CORD WLUFA gets support

Do you think Laurier shouid be making TV Red posters around campus demonstrate solidarity between WLU staff and faculty commercials to promote itself? ADA SHARPE very high," as faculty gave the "It's what we can give [faculty] News Writer Association monetary assistance now But this is just the start of our totalling $100,000, as well as "emo- poster campaign. That's how I look TheWilfrid Laurier University Staff tional and psychological support." at it." "It should be based on Association (WLUSA) made a show "They gave [staff] an immense Philip hopes that the red reputation. That should stand on of solidarity for the Wilfrid Laurier support boost. They shared every posters, now up all over campus, itself." Faculty Association (WLUFA) earli- moment that we went through," will make WLUFA's cause more er this week, launching a campus- Philip recalls. visible to the university communi- Steven Jackman wide poster campaign late ty, especially to the Third Year History Monday afternoon. Over 400 support student body. posters, bearing the slogan "We're ready to [faculty] "Students need "WLUSA - WLUFA: We are family," visibly. If [our support for WLUFA] to be aware where "Yes. We're not well known declare the Staff Association's sup- their home is going. enough as a business program and port of faculty in the ongoing wasn't already known, it should We would not be we're one of the largest in labour dispute between WLUFA here if the students Ontario." and the university's senior admin- be known now." weren't here. We istration. need them to understand these "We're ready to support [faculty] - - Beth Fraser Niru Philip, President of WLUSA issues. There's a real Third Year Business visibly If [our support for WLUFA] wasn't already known, it should be symbiosis between known now. We're not just talking Experienced members of faculty, staff and students. When "No. I think Laurier's doing about it, but doing something WLUFA's bargaining team also one side hurts, it's going to be felt enough without [commercials]." about it," said Niru Philip, tendered their skills on behalf of by all. Start asking questions now President of WLUSA. staff during negotiations with the before it's too late," he proposes to WLUSA, an organization repre- senior administration, while other Laurier students. senting approximately 430 univer- faculty members walked alongside As WLUFA's labour talks contin- - Eric Douglas sity staff members, has its own strikers on the picket lines ue after the recent arrival of a Year Philosophy Fourth experience at the bargaining table. throughout the fall months. provincial conciliator, Philip main- University staffwent on strike from "They certainly came to our aid. tains that WLUSA "always will be mid-September to mid-November With that example, what should we family [to faculty]. The left side "That's sketchy because it makes us 2002, after negotiations for their do now?" always knows what the right side is seem desperate to get students." collective agreement stalled. Philip regards this poster cam- doing." Throughout the staff strike of 2002, paign as the answer to this ques-

- Jeni Metheral Philip believes WLUFA "set the bar tion. First Year History & Anthropology

"I don't see how it could do any harm."

- Anthony Kapsimalis First Year Business

"No, because most [promotion] is done through word of mouth already."

- Leah Schlotter First Year Psychology

"We're growing to capacity as it is and it seems unnecessary to spend resources on it."

Jordan Jocius

- Neil McArthur LAST STOP - Part-time students are now able to get their money back after WLUSU came to terms with local transit. Fourth Year Philosophy

"No. We want to make it look Students getrefund from GRT like we're prestigious and hard to get into." WLUSU and Grand River Transit agree to remove part-time students from bus pass

- Angie Phillips Fourth Year Business MICAELA BONTJE Students who are registered for "Jen Mitchell, VP University Affairs News Writer less than 2.0 credits will be credit- for WLUSU and Mike McMahon, "Yes, because it may ed $40 for the bus pass, appearing General Manager for WLUSU and encourage better profs to Laurier student Lee Tessmer is on their transcripts in the winter the committee worked very hard happy to be getting his money term. Those who will not be to remove part-time students from come here." back. returning for the winter term must the plan," he added. Tessmer, a part-time student at complete an online refund request Muir said that a lot of the com- -Blake Albright Laurier, says that the Grand River form, found at the Laurier plaints regarding the bus pass First Year Political Science Transit (GRT) bus pass (initiated Business Office website, in order came directly from part-time stu- this year) does not benefit him to receive the refund. dents who did not have use for it because he commutes from Fourth-year student J.D. Muir because many of them are com- "Commercials seem a little London, and that he has not used was the campaign coordinator for muters. The best solution was to cheesy." it yet this year. the CRT bus pass last year and is remove students who were not Fortunately for Tessmer and currently a student representative being positively affected by the other part-time students feeling on the GRT work group for the plan. pass. ■ Jon Booren the same way, WLUSU and GRT university bus He stated that Muir added that the committee Fourth have come to an agreement "part-time students were original- is currently consulting with GRT in Year Business whereby part-time students will ly not going to be part of the bus regards to an opt-in plan for part- not be included in the otherwise pass plan but somehow were time students in the future. Compiled by Dan Polischuk, photos by Sydney Helland mandatory buss pass. added in." 4 WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 News |The Cord Weekly Residents of Ontario First Laurier student Nations reserve airlifted out beaten, Evacuation sheds light inadequate water-treatment facility as well as other desperate living conditions on robbed reserves across the country. 95 other reserves currently under water-boiling advisory. DAN POLISCHUK News Editor

DAVE WEATHERALL "The number of communities in This past Sunday aLaurier student Canadian University Press Ontario that were high risk has found himself in the midst of a dropped from 61 to 51 since 2003," three-on-one mugging, which

TORONTO (CUP) - The ongoing he said. occurred on Hickory Street. airlift evacuation of 1,900 Roy hesitated when asked why According to Laurier Security, Aboriginals from the northern so many of the water-treatment the robbery which occurred at Ontario reserve of Kashechewan systems on reserves that are con- approximately 2am, saw three has exposed the inadequate sidered hazardous are located in unidentified assailants knock the water-treatment issue on First Ontario. victim to the ground. While the Nations reserves in Canada and is "I would venture that there is a victim lay in a fetal position, he shedding light on the dire living higher population of First Nations was beaten with a barrage ofkicks conditions in other reserves across people in Ontario than anywhere and punches. His wallet was the country. else," he said. removed along with a quantity of Two days after the beginning of Eva Johnson is familiar with the cash. the evacuation of the entire com- problems facing aboriginal com- Rod Curran, the Director of munity to Sudbury from their munities trying to establish effec- Laurier Security, noted that due to reserve near James Bay because of tive water treatment facilities. She a privacy request the victim's the high level of E. Coli bacteria in works for the Kahnawake name would not be released. He the reserve's water system, just Environmental Protection Office also added that the matter has how widespread the water-treat- just outside Montreal and said the now fallen into the hands of ment issue on reserves is exposed federal Indian Act doesn't provide Waterloo Regional Police. for public scrutiny. enough money for reserves to When reached by The Cord The numbers are staggering. meet provincial housing stan- though, Inspector Bryan Larkin, Of the 858 First Nations reserves dards. with the Police Service, comment- in Canada, 95 are currently under "We had to purchase a sewage ed that the case is not being con- a Health Canada water-boiling treatment system from Ontario for sidered as a major incident at this advisory. Of that total, 51 have a new house on the reserve point in time. been under the advisory for over a because we couldn't afford the When questioned why Laurier year, while seven have been under one that meets govern- has been experiencing such a reg- over as the advisory for five years. ment standards for sewage treat- Contributed Photo ular dose of crime of late, While the majority of First ment," she said. Curran could not attribute it to Nations reserves in Canada under Because the sewage treatment DON'T DRINK THE WATER - Residents of the Kashechewan Aboriginal one factor. a water-boiling advisory because doesn't meet Quebec standards, reserve are evacuated because of an E-Coli virus found in the water system. "You have to realize that the of high levels of bacteria in their the house's sewage is now collect- University of Laurier is within a water supply are located in ing in a septic tank and cannot be hardly unique in Canada. In 2000, reserves. larger city area of Waterloo and in Ontario, Health Canada flushed into the nearby river 65 Aboriginal communities across "The reserve I'm from is rela- the outskirts, you're going to have spokesperson Chris Williams said because it doesn't meet provincial Canada were under a boil-water tively close to an urban centre, so drug problems... and criminal there are an additional 44 reserves governmental treatment stan- advisory. Additionally, the it's usually not too hard to get activity. It's all over the place," said outside the province that are also dards. Walkerton report-prepared after proper attention from the authori- Curran. under the advisory. "We have difficulty understand- six residents died of E. Coli in the ties, but the farther north you go, "There's no real rhyme or reason ing that rationale, Ontario town-found that 22 water the easier it is to ignore the prob- why three guys would jump some- Of the 858 First Nations reserves seeing as the treatment plants on Ontario lems, because they're more isolat- body," he added. Quebec govern- reserves were "high-risk." ed" he said. in Canada, 95 are currently under ment okays dump- A Health ing raw sewage into A Health Canada study conducted Canada study con- a Health Canada water-boiling the St. Lawrence ducted in 2000 river because it is a in 2000 found that only 56.9 found that only 56.9 advisory. Of that total, 51 have fast moving body of per cent of homes water," she said. on First Nations percent of homes on First Nations *' mm reserves met been under the advisory for over a Squabbling federal ! J . between provincial housing housing condition reserves met federal - year. and federal govern- guidelines. Johnson ments inevitably condition guidelines. said a lack of ade- k "We can't make the list of com- distracts from addressing the quate funding J1 munities available until we have chronic under-funding of reserves But water-treatment issues means housing planning suffers. the permission from those com- when it comes to environmental aren't the only housing standard Health Canada identifies mould munities," said Williams. and housing issues, said Johnson. issue facing First Nations commu- as a factor in respiratory illness The total of 95 reserves is up The end result is an emergency sit- nities in Canada. and an irritant for people who suf- from the 65 reserves under the uation like Kashechewan that Wade Healy is an English stu- fer from allergies. advisory in 2000, despite a 2003 inevitably costs more to fix than it dent at the University of Calgary "Anywhere you don't have prop- federal government National would have to prevent. and hails from a reserve about 100 er drainage, mould can develop," Water Strategy that pledged $600 "The cost of re-locating those km east of the city where he now said Johnson. million to improve water treat- people is going to be far more than studies. He knows first-hand what She said a comprehensive, - ment facilities in reserves across it would have cost to build an ade- the living conditions on First national, review of the living and Canada. quate water-treatment system Nations reserves are like. environmental conditions in all ■ Ministry of Indian Affairs upstream instead of downstream," "My sister still lives on the First Nations reserves is needed. I "We a I■ spokesperson Michael roy said she said. "They need to stop pass- reserve and she has mould all over need uniform standard that while the number of boiling ing the buck and starting passing her ceiling," he said, during a tele- for water-treatment systems for all water advisories may be up, the the bucks. We need to build sus- phone interview. "She's notified reserves in Canada," she said. "We number of reserves considered tainable communities in order to the Community Health Services don't have that at the moment and "high-risk" for their water stan- prevent outbreaks like the one in several times, but so far no one's look at what's happened." dards has dropped since the Kashechewan from repeating come to look at it." implementation of the federal themselves." Healy is also concerned about strategy. The situation in Kashechewan is conditions in more outlying

Write Cord News... It looks great on a resume. Ask Dan Robert Anything. VIA

email [email protected] or [email protected] Cord Weekly] The News WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 < 5 Giving tuition the 40 yard boot Students get a chance to win a year's worth of tuition in halftime contest at football game; comes on the heels of recent million dollar kick

DAN POLISCHUK a years worth of tuition. There'll be no warm up, consola- would be good for "a long-haul attending the game Saturday. News Editor To win, the participant must tion from the 10, the 20, the 30, flight." "We wanted a way to show [the kick a field goal from 40 yards out. like they did with the Argo's," he Working with Mosaik fans] some extra value of why they Thanks to the efforts of Laurier Roly Webster, Coordinator of added. Mastercard has provided an should support the Hawks in the Athletics, the cheering may never Facilities, Events, and Only WLU students will be eligi- opportunity for the Alumni playoffs," said Webster. stop during the upcoming football Sponsorship, explained the idea ble for the festivities. They will Association to promote their new When asked if the field goal playoff game this Saturday after- came in the wake of 25 year old have had to fill out a ballot at the affiliation with the credit card attempt is not successful and the noon. Brian Diesbourg's 50 yard field- Mosaik Mastercard tent, upon company as well, which made it Hawks advance to the Already highlighted by the fact goal that won him a million dollars entering the stadium, to have their seem even more "like a good fit" to (which would be held at that the third-ranked Hawks will at a recent name put into a draw. Webster. University Stadium) would the be facing rivals McMaster, the game. Webster believes this will Splitting the uprights will see With all partners working event be carried over, Webster game will feature a halftime event be "an incentive for our students the winner receive approximately together, the project was put simply replied, "Rumour has it ... that will give Laurier students a to come out." $5,000 in cash, as well as 1,600 Air together in a matter of a day, and let me say it that way." chance to win a cash prize equal to "This is based on one kick. Miles that, according to Webster, will be aimed at appealing to all Laurier to project image on the air during football games j£* : a Five-year-old commercial spots updated, look to highlight the 'experience' at Laurier Join us for our Department of Medical Biophysics Open House for prospective graduate and summer students.

being made that lessen the Once the new clips are DAN POLISCHUK may Potential areas research: News Editor image of the school. acquired, they will be airing for the of > "It's my job to make sure that most part during university sport- Molecular Genetics of Cancers Just in time for the final stretch of doesn't happen," said Arthur, ing events televised on The Score > Cellular & Molecular Biology the 2005-2006 recruiting , adding, "I want the consistent or TSN - stations with a large > Medical Physics & Imaging Wilfrid Laurier University will message to be that [Laurier] is a number ofnation-wide viewers. > Molecular & Structural Biology have a fresh image when it looks to When the time continue its self-promotion comes again, in When? Saturday, November 12, 2005, from 9:30 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. towards prospective students. "I want the consistent message to about 3 to 4 years, to The school just ended filming make another new with a welcome presentation at 10:00 a.m. two 30-second commercials and, be that [Laurier] is a pretty selec- advertisement, after some editing, will have the Stephen already will Where? Ontario Cancer Institute/Princess Margaret Hospital advertisements at their disposal in tive school - that students who have plenty of ideas (OCI/PMH). 610 University Avenue, 7th Floor Atrium, Toronto, Ont. about two weeks. to promote the Arthur Stephen, Vice President get in here have pretty good Laurier brand. Visit the various booths set up by labs, meet Professors, Post- com- of University Advancement, These include creat- doctoral Fellows and Graduate Students for informal discussions, mented that while it may cost marks." ing commercials $7,000 to produce one commer- representing the and tour the research facilities. - cial, "it is just one part of 15 Arthur Stephen , VP: University Advancement five main parts of aspects of what people get to know WLU: the School of For more information, piease visit our website at about a university." Business, the Music http://medbio.utoronto.ca

"It just makes sense to have [the pretty selective school - that stu- Department, the Faculty of Arts, commercials]," he added. dents who get in here have pretty the Science Department, and Free Admission * Free Lunch * On-Site Registration The spots were shot from vari- good marks." Laurier Brantford. ous locales on campus, including WLU President Bob Rosehart "I think that would be an inter- Sponsored Dept of Medical at of live classroom sessions. Stephen echoed Stephen's thoughts. esting approach - get a little more by the Biophysics the University believes that there should not be "We're not about wholesale variety," he said. Toronto in conjunction with the Research Divisions of the Ontario Cancer any concern of a commercial advertising," he commented. Institute (Princess Margaret Hospital) and the Sunnybrook & Women's College Health Sciences Centre

---- Weekly 6 WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2. 2005 Editorial TheCord

The CordWeekly

~ The tie that binds since 1926 ~ EditorialBoard

Editor-in-Chief International Editor Special Projects Editor BrandonCurrie TonyFerguson April Cunningham [email protected] [email protected] acu n n i [email protected] ext. (519) 884-0710 3563 Arts & Entertainment Editor Cord Historian News Editors Alex Hayter Kris Cote Adrian Ma [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Sports Editor Print Production Manager Dan Polischuk Mike Brown Bryn Boyce [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Opinion Editor Features Editor Photography Manager Carly Beath Blair Forsyth-Stark Jordan Jocius [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] 884-0710 ext. 2852 Graphics Editor Student Life Editor Emilie Joslin Michelle Pinchev [email protected] [email protected]

Canada fails on World Press Freedom Index

That's the number of countries in the world with more press free- Twenty.dom than Canada, according to Reporters Without Borders' annual World Press Freedom Index, released last Friday. Canada is a country that prides itself on its progressiveness and atten- tion to its citizens' human rights. But after coming in at number 21, it might be time to concede that we're not as free and open as we thought we were. The mainreason for Canada's low placement is our poor track record in Hazing is a disease that regards to the privacy of sources. Ever since Ottawa Citizen reporter Juliet O'Neill's home was raided by the RCMP looking for evidence to reveal a source in the Maher Arar case, journalists in this country have been cry- ing foul over a number of mounting issues impeding press freedoms. Citizen Editor-in-Chief Scott Anderson even called it "a black, black day and spreads for freedom in this country," and Reporters Without Borders agreed. infects Apparently, we're moving further away from European-style journal- ism, where reporters have more freedom, to American-style journalism, which leaves reporters with the threat of arrest looming over their heads. The underlying message in hazing is that being accepted overrides humanity Another problem in Canada's press freedoms is ownership. Due to the CRTC's irresponsibly lax media ownership concentration laws, 74 percent of Canada's daily newspapers are owned by the three biggest conglomer- tones of sexual abuse are not only rookie to stand up for himself. ates. disturbing, they also reveal some- There'd be a huge sense of inter- Ryerson School of Journalism Chair Vince Carlin once commented to thing about group mentality and nal conflict because, after all, it is the Washington Post that "you can fit everyone who controls significant MICHELLEPINCHEV the culture of team sports: tradi- something that you chose. After Canadian media into my office." StudentLifeEditor tion, following orders and being the ordeal, inclusion in the group The result is a more homogenous media and the censorship of voices 'accepted' all override humanity. conveniently provides a form of that need to be heard. For those of you who don't know, The roots of hazing can be much-needed support. An excellent example is CanWest, which owns the National Post and "Dr. Broom" is a hazing ritual and traced back almost as far as sport Now, I realize initiations are not Global TV, as well as a major daily newspaper in every significant an annual rite at McGill for foot- itself. In Ancient Greece, 400 years always so extreme. But don't think Canadian city. It's owners, the infamous Asper family, are notorious for ball rookies. before Christ was nailed to a cross, the cases in the news are isolated insisting that the opinions in their newspapers align with their personal Rumour has it, after enduring young boys were taken from their incidences. There are probably beliefs (see: the Israel/Palestine debate, the CBC, etc.). They used to hand taunting and humiliating tasks at families to prepare to be soldiers. dozens of rituals we won't hear down national editorials to publish throughout their media umbrella the hands of team veterans, the The new recruits were subjected about for a long time until another until the resignations and outcry became too much. rookies are taken into rooms, one to an ordeal called "diamastago- brave soul speaks out. Though it may seem like we're navel-gazing here, the health of our by one, where they are forced to sis", which pretty much tested who It would be nice to think that as nation's media is correlated to that of our democracy. Even at WLU, these remove their clothing, get on their could handle the worst ass-kick- long as initiations can be kept civil issues have a nasty habit of coming up. hands and knees (with a chew toy ing. and fun that we could hang onto Look no further than this very paper. When WLUSU pulled their adver- in their mouth) and are anally Fortunately, we no longer nail them. tising from The Cord earlier this year, it wasn't because ofWeinberg-gate, probed with a broom stick. our criminals to crosses, but I once attended a keg party for as was widely believed. Rather, it was because "the editorial content that With a widely publicized inci- somehow the tradition of beating, an all-boys school's football team comes out of The Cord are [sic] inconsistent with the messages that we dent like this, it's easy to single out torturing, humiliating and sexual- where some rookies wore as little look to send through our communication pieces via our press releases, McGill as the perverts and contin- ly abusing innocent athletes and as a hot-dog bun in a very twisted via our Cord ads," according to WLUSU president Dan Robert. ue to think ofhazing as a predom- soldiers has stood the test of time. sort of'fashion show.' It was hilari- WLUSU couldn't buy the type of glowing editorial coverage they want- inantly American issue. But it hap- There are undoubtedly those ous and no harm was done, but ed, and they were within their rights to pull their ads if they thought they pens here all the time. that would be sad to see this long- even this was borderline perverse didn't need the paper to promote its events. But unlike major newspa- Other horror stories I've heard time tradition be brought to an and could have easily pushed pers, The Cord has guaranteed subscription revenues via student fees, involve the junior hockey team, end. Tradition is something someone over the edge. whereas most media are more at the whim of sometimes unscrupulous the , whose rook- sacred, after all. Clearly, as long as hazing is advertisers. ies are subjected to an annual tra- But I like to think ofthis country sanctioned and taken lightly, there This kind ofthing happens more often than you would think, and some dition called the "hot box." This as putting our basic rights and will be those who continue to newspapers aren't as willing to lose advertising for the chance to include has nothing to do with marijuana freedoms ahead of tradition. At abuse it. stories in their pages that conflict with advertisers and stockholders. smoke but rather, one teeny, tiny least that is the direction we To those of you who think there With the battle between advertising and editorializing being waged at team bus washroom and all the appear to be moving in. is nothing wrong with hazing, 1 newspapers whose content is sometimes controlled by large corpora- rookies of the team crammed into While marriage, perhaps one of urge you to read more about it. tions, and the restrictions on reporters thanks to strict libel laws and pres- it. Naked. the oldest traditions in society, has You might be surprised to find that sure to reveal sources (which can make people reluctant to give informa- Too many of the hazing rituals evolved to incorporate the rights hazing has taken lives. is have tion to reporters in the first place), it's fairly easy to see why we're so far I've heard ofinvolve nudity, sexual of homosexuals, hazing still lust like many abusers from the top ofthe list. humiliation, abuse and rookies widespread. been abused themselves, many Canadian media ownership and privacy laws must be changed by the jerking off together. A close friend Part of the problem is that peo- victims ofhazing will go on to vent CRTC, and fast, before CanWest, Quebecor, Bell Globemedia, Rogers and of mine actually gave up hockey ple don't really know this happens. their bottled frustrations on oth- Shaw devour the rest of our ragged mediascape. because the league he was in Veterans enforce it wholehearted- ers, not only as veterans but as Canadian journalists need the assurance that they can write what they required rookies to stand in a cir- ly because they once had to do it friends, employers, spouses and want without tailoring it to an overarching editorial policy or fearing that cle around a cracker and jerk off themselves, and rookies just put parents. it infects they could be arrested. We need to make sure that what we are actually onto it. The last one to finish has to up with it knowing they'll be on Like any kind of abuse, matches what we say we are - a country where press freedom, and thus a eat the cracker —not exactly a the other end of the 'stick' (no pun and it spreads. healthy democracy, are taken for granted. 'happy ending'. intended) one day, if they just grit 1 don't care what anyone says, their teeth and bear it. This unsigned editorial was agreed upon by a! least two-thirds of the Tho hazing is a type of bullying and I've never been hazed or initiat- Cord's Editorial Board and does not necessarily reflect the views o/The reflects a sickness in individuals ed into anything, but I can imag- [email protected] Cords volunteers, staff or WLUSP. and in society itself. Its under- ine how tough it would be for a Cord Weekly The Opinion WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 ￿7 Halloween and human development As we get older, how we celebrate Halloween mimics our evolving lifestyles

Those were the coolest grown-ups couldn't even buy back his dignity ever. with some really slutty gold It wasn't until we were twelve or nuggets. thirteen that the scariest holiday Men have to think of something TANYA DOROSLOVAC other than Easter really became clever or funny to impress, Strikes Again Bigmouth about the scare. This is probably whether it be their rugged finance correlated to the scientific fact professor or the undercover ter- When I was eight, the entire point that age 12 is the most annoying rorist from Team America. of Halloween was to fit as much age in the human life cycle. It is But forget Halloween - we might candy as possible into two pillow- the only time in your life when as well be talking about human cases approximately the same size your social status is determined by development in general. First we as my entire body. how much of The Shining you can just want to play in the sandbox My mom would dress me in lay- watch without crying and how and eat chocolate, then we want to ers of warm clothes and send me much crap you throw at ol' Mr. impress our friends and finally we out the door with a costume usu- Peterson's house. want to impress the opposite sex. ally as complicated as a tiara, You can shove these impressive The trend for day-to-day wear is wand and pink cape. statistics in your friends' faces for as dynamic as our costuming It was easy: you could just be a an entire year; the bragging rights whims. Playground chic becomes princess and no one would think it last a lot longer than the candy clever t-shirt becomes puffy vests, was lame. Now, if I wanted to be a you're shoving in your own face. short skirts and an admirable rain- princess for a day I'd have to be all And then, after several years of bow of polo shirts. ironic and post-modern. good clean Halloween egging, Every day is Halloween! There It might be cool if I just had a something bizarre happens. Trick- are brooding, black turtleneck- "HELLO, MY NAME IS: or-treating and movie nights wearing poets, tanned beach PRINCESS" tag or, even better, if I become house parties and bar- babes and fancy suited financiers put on white face makeup, some hopping and the costumes change walking around Laurier all the decomposing skin, a droopy eye- appropriately - or inappropriately, time. I mean, look at me! What am ball, stylish hat and went as as the case may be. I supposed to be, from the eight- "Princess DIE!!!" Instead of being princesses, ies? I don't know. But I do know And I didn't count carbs when I your friends dress up as a gang of that I'm going to start demanding was in grade school. No one did. really slutty princesses. Or slutty free Swedish Berries from the C- We counted candy bars and cowgirls. Or slutty vampires. Guys Spot immediately

- scowled at people when they gave don't have it as easy the really Jordan Jocius out Rockets and lollipops instead slutty Frankenstein never quite of the good stuff. And the houses caught on, and anyone who dress- THE ETERNAL HALLOWEEN QUESTION - "Should I be a sexy bunny, a sexy that gave out the full-sized bars? es up as a really slutty cowboy [email protected] cowgirl, a sexy French Maid or a sexy army girl?!" Letters to the Editor

Widen International Scope found to be of no laughing matter - your gross oversights in editing. In the article Campus Pictorial I am writing to complain about the sorry titled "How not to be a General state of the International Section of The Manager", the onlything more laughable Cord. Under the editorship of Tony thanMr. Joe Turcotte's pessimistic views Ferguson, the Internationa] section has on the ' future was the gonefrom a forum where student writ- blatant contradictions that were used to ers could express their views and inter- prove his point. On the issueofthe deal- pretations ofimportant world events to a ing away ofVince Carter to the Nets, he small-minded square of petty "Laurier- chides Babcock for "trad[ing] away [the] centred" reporting which primarily deals team's only superstar." 1 consulted with with the lives of students that have gone the establisliment of academia known or lived abroad. The international sec- simply as Dictionaiy.com, which defines tion is supposed to deal with interna- superstar as "someone who is dazzlingly tional news, not simply "news" that has skilled." (Not so) ironically enough, the the word international in it. The students term "star" is defined as "to do an out- ofLaurier are experiencing a disservice standing job; perform excellently," in the type of bland and uninspiring which in my opinion is, for all intents reporting that is being carried out in the and purposes, the same as the above name of making 'International' relevant stated definition. BUT WAIT, Mr. to Laurier. Real international news is Turcotte, didn't you label Chris Bosh as already relevant to Laurier students as the team's "only real star" in your article? they arepart of the world and as students Why yes, yes you did. But how can Bosh they are being trained to be its future be the Raptors' "only real star" when leaders. Stories about the social life of their "only superstar" was traded away? international students at Laurier do not It seems as if ol' Joe has contradicted qualify as international news. Society is himself here. But alas, I place no blame already too closed off from the world and on his shoulders, since there is a man consumed with local issues while ignor- who has been hired to catch these glar-

ing the world at large. This is not to say ing blunders ... and that is you Mr. that local news is not important, but we Brown. Perhaps if you could take some also need space and time devoted to the time away from researching "50 Cent world outside of the student ghetto. The lyricz" for your own articles, you could International sectionof The Cord should catch these butcherings of the English be that outlet to the world as the remain- language before they hit the press. der of the paper deals with issues that Jordan Jocius directly affect Laurier. I yearn for the day Rob Hayes when sharp and quick-witted articles reappear declaring student opinions of Letter Policy: global events unabashedly and a return All letters to the editor must be signed and sub- to true international journalism. mitted with the author's name, student identifi- cation number, and telephone number. Letters TRADITION must be received by 12pm Tuesday on disk, or Travis Earle via e-mail at [email protected] with the subject heading of Cord letter,' Letters that have same reverence must be typed or easily legible and may not Either this picture tells us we the Less 50 Cent, more attention to exceed 350 words. The Cord reserves the right for brevity Spelling - English to edit any letter and clarity. for VISA as we do for the Hawk or that maybe it's stupid to and grammar will be corrected. The Cord reserves the right to reject any letter, in whole put to walk or in part. things on the ground if we're not supposed on Dear Mr. Brown, despite the humourous them. allusions your name draws to the film The Cord reserves the right not to publish Reservoir Dogs, there was an issue in the material that is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with the Cord's Code of Ethics or October 19 edition of The Cord that 1 journalistic standards. Weekly - WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 [The Cord 8 Opinion _ Hopefor the holidays with Buy NothingDay Instead of mentally jumping from Halloween to Christmas, take a minute and consider Buy Nothing Day, says Kathryn Flynn

some background information second hand clothing. I've been able incomes and we're unaware is necessary. labelled a hippie before, but I'm of how cozy we are in the advertis- Celebrated far from it because I realized ing industry's grip. worldwide, Buy that hippie is just I am guilty of not caring enough KATHRYN FLYNN Nothing Day was urban slang for and I question my inaction. GoodRevolution Girl started by "someone that Idealism comes easily to those of a Adbusters mag- cares more middle class upbringing, but In October, Canadians celebrate azine founder than me." action is key. Thanksgiving and Halloween and Kalle Lasn. I visit I encourage you to think your applaud agriculture and the candy The request: pur- the dark side consumption patterns through. industry, with turkey dinner or chase nothing for 24 and I have outfits Even if Buy Nothing Day isn't your those eco-terror mini chocolate hours and maybe tell a few made by the fingers of child cup of tea, please consider a few bars that hardly seem worth the people why you're doing it. labourers. Dissonance is a things in your daily life. effort. The reason: According to the potent communicator with Ask yourself if you only buy Many will then go on to cele- Aclbusters website, the goal is to advertising companies and cloth- what you need. Ask yourself where brate Christmas, along with our gain some calm by not participat- ing manufacturers, but many voic- those products came from, who ability to consume more food, ing in "the doomsday economy, es are louder than one. made them and if you would want more presents and an endless the marketing mind-games and Do you think that all Gap to work in those conditions. Most array of stuff - batteries not the frantic consumer-binge that's the area and actually get to see the employees are as happy as your of all, ask yourself what you're included. become our culture." Scoff as you person who made my clothes. local cashier? According to doing about it and if that's good In between these holidays is may, but even if you've never I'm no longer swipe card happy, responsibleshopper.org, a enough. November and no one likes it all heard of Buy Nothing Day, have and I'm reducing my ecological Cambodian Gap worker was shot Hopefully by the time Buy that much. It's pretty bleak and you ever given a lot of thought to footprint as well as saving a heck to death in 2003 while protesting Nothing Day rolls around, you'll could use a good holiday your purchases? of a lot of money. working conditions. Convince have an answer and some hope. Fortunately, there is hope. On I chose not to work this year. I I tend to go through consumer yourself however you may, but November 25, I will celebrate Buy don't have the lenience in my wal- awareness phases. The more I that's blood on your crew neck Nothing Day and extricate myself let and I've had to make sacrifices, realize I need to sell myself at uni- sweater and on my hands, and from the vicious cycle of con- but I am a happier woman for it. versity and in the working world, we're not doing anything about it. [email protected] sumerism! Politically active war- I've been freed from the burden the more I seem to sell out. As a consumer you drive the riors unite! of spending time each week shop For most ofhigh school I said no economy. As students we're a tar- Before I get too enthusiastic, ping. I support local designers in to consumerism and purchased get market; we have large expend- Pay attention, kids And look both ways before you cross the street a parking lot. We have a small campus and at times the most efficient way to get around is to cut through or across MARK CIESLUK road surface. But it seems endem- ThusWisemanSpake the ic of a larger symptom of immatu- rity and sense of entitlement to Were one to objectively observe think that mom and dad's pre- and reflect upon the student body cious little son or daughter can ofWLU, it might become evident treat their time at Laurier as a Police presence is essential that a huge percentage of it seems vacation from all reality. to have a death wish. Not watching where you're What else could explain our going is only one sign ofbehaviour Toronto police need to get back on the streets to prevent even more shootings predication for such monumental we see so often that it goes as acts of stupidity as walking direct- accepted, despite the fact that it is ly in the middle of a busy road? wholly unacceptable. Smoking 65 murders and 31 arrests made. Whether or not the police are Although that sort of hyperbole right beside the doors directly in More than half of the cases haven't getting a crap deal in terras of might be over the top even for a front of a big "No Smoking" sign, had arrests made in connection. wages and benefits (which is what polemic alarmist such as myself, cutting in lines, stealing people's Factor in that some of the 31 they're fighting for) is neither here the situation seems to continue to seats, talking in the Solarium, CARLYBEATH arrests could be in relation to the nor there. This decrease in vigi- spiral to new levels of incredibility. receiving (in those rare cases, OpinionEditor same incident and the numbers lance is coming at a time when the Having just completed a tortur- actually answering!) cell phone look even worse. Factor in that 31 police are needed more than ever. ous two weeks of driving to school calls in class, lifting a newspaper Ever since Toronto's spate of arrests doesn't mean 31 convic- Yes, they have a right to argue instead of making use of GRT, I without asking the person sitting shootings began this summer, the tions ... I think you see where I'm against what they perceive to be can safely assert that many of my beside it who happens to be read- question everyone has been ask- going with this. unfair conditions. But they need peers were either raised in reli- ing part of it at the time... ing is "Why?" People who have it in them to to get creative and think of anoth- gions that forbade the use of cars It reads like a laundry list of Why so much violence? Why kill another human being don't er way to do it. What they're doing or simply do not care about their inconveniences spouting forth isn't it stopping? have a sense of morality to dis- right now is essentially holding personal safety - and there can't from a curmudgeonly old man People appear baffled, but even suade them. people's safety hostage and using be that many Amish nihilists float- with nothing but time and a bad a cursory glance at the surround- The only thing that might give lives as bargaining chips. ing around out there. temper, but really, it should all be ing circumstances offers a lot of them pause is the legal conse- Some might argue that these At which age were you sup- second nature by this point. As insight. quences. They might not be con- aren't the real causes, that these posed to learn these basic life les- undergraduates, we are no longer On monday night there was a cerned about destroying someone are just surface contributors and sons? At what point did you decide carefree youths without responsi- gang shootout in Regent Park, at else's life, but they might think that we need to attack the root that you were too important and bility or influence; we are the the same apartment a shooting twice about spending the rest of causes like poverty and racism intelligent to keep them in mind? adults. As academics, the world took place earlier this year. theirs in jail. before things start to change. And I can't say for certain, but I'll bet will eventually be ours to run the The very short (are we becom- If people aren't getting arrested I would agree. But these things are that two tonnes of steel slamming way we choose to run it. A fright- ing desensitized to this kind of and so many murders aren't being complex and will take a long time. into your hip because you didn't ening thought, admittedly. occurrence?) Toronto Star news solved, then even thatdeterrentis- So at the very least, we need to waitfor the light to cross over to St. I don't know about the rest of article on it stated, "Five arrests n't there. make the most of the things that Michael's is going to be the kind of you, but the world I want to live in were made, but four [of the arrest- But if the necessary "after" we can get a handle on right away. reminder that doesn't go away. I as an adult includes people who ed] were later released. A fifth man action is missing, so is the This means that people who can say for certain that once you're act like adults, not spoiled chil- was charged with an unrelated "before." have information need to give it to in a wheelchair, your casual jay- dren. Maybe it's time to start drug offence." Toronto's police aren't actually the police so they can solve more walking days are more or less gone shaming the slow learners into This tells me that between 20 allowed to strike, since they're cases and create cautionary tales. for good. catching up. and 25 shots were fired, one hit- rightly considered an essential But most of all, Toronto's police The student drivers seem little So smarten the hell lip, pay ting an apartment containing four service. But what they can do, and need to realize that they can't scale better; whether screaming more attention, and watch out for children, and not one person was are doing, is working to rule. back their services when they're through the Willison lot or careen- my speeding Buick when you charged for it. Officers are parking their cars needed most. They need to get ing around corners, many seem choose to walk into traffic. Just A man was shot in the face and between calls. They're waiting back on the streets and put the oblivious to their basic obligations play along and nobody has to get killed at his Scarborough home until bad things happen, and then safety of Toronto's citizens before as the operator of a sincerely dan- hurt. Tuesday morning, which brought they're responding, rather than themselves. gerous machine. Toronto's gun murder tally for looking to pre-empt trouble Of course, this isn't to say 1 never 2005 to 45; the entire murder total before it happens. They're not cross against a light or cut through letters&cordweekly. cum is 65. patrolling at all between calls. letlers&coixl weekly, com Weekly Cord * The Opinion WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2. 2005 9 Political correctness masks ignorance

The ever-changing language of being PC still doesn't account for shades of grey, says Production Manager Bryn Boyce

So Wheelchair Barbie became

Differently-Abled Barbie ... Try using the word 'handi- capped' in front ofyour over-zeal- BRYN BOYCE ous Residence Life Don to see if Production Manager they react with the same fervor as they would if you whispered People are ridiculously uptight. 'retarded.' How many times can you The only way we understand remember feeling the blood rush what 'differently-abled' actually to your cheeks while trying to find means is in relation to words like just one word that is, at the 'handicapped.' If you didn't know moment, still politically correct? that it's meant to replace the word How many times have you 'handicapped' you could easily snickered watching someone else think that it's talking about some- go through it? The speed at which one who's better at painting por- 'politically correct' euphemisms traits of Jesus than they are at come in and out of favour in spo- reading meteorological charts. ken English is astounding. Using the new word doesn't reas- Being 'politically correct' is sure anyone that you're sensitive becoming a completely token ges- to the situations of the people ture - a social mask to hide how you're trying to talk about. From Attitudes Toward Gays and Lesbians Among Incoming Wilfrid Laurier Students, 2004 you really feel and shield you from The results of Attitudes Toward STAYING TRUE TO ATTITUDES - Despite a plethora of politically correct terms, strong homophobic attitudes exist on criticism. Now it's an attempt to Gays and Lesbians Among Laurier's Waterloo campus. Rather than changing the language, these attitudes must first be addressed. glaze sensitivity over top of igno- Incoming Wilfrid Laurier Students, rance in hopes that it will actually show that homophobic attitudes change your attitudes. are still alive and well on Waterloo two-spirited community but it is and whites. This is what makes it under the surface of clean lan- Is it better for someone to say campus. In spite of the extensive quickly becoming reappropriated. nearly impossible (and often guage. If you're being politically "All chinks are horrible drivers," or politically correct language sur- Same goes for 'nigga.' pointless) to use even politically correct around people you don't "All Chinese-Canadians are poor rounding homosexuality, it hasn't Here's where our society's hard- correct words to describe people. know and unpolitically correct motorists"? The message doesn't been enough to sway our opin- on for political correctness breaks If you say the Conservative party around people you do, then you're change a bit and even the cleanest ions. down. When we find the need to are a bunch of Nazis, you're really changing the way you speak to fit of language doesn't solve the real Many people argue about PC generalize and label certain not being fair at all - in fact you're what you think is acceptable and problem - ignorant generaliza- words, often with the goal of either groups, often because it's simpler, being ignorant. This ignorance is not what's true. tions. finding a new, acceptable term to we're looking for all-encompass- what needs to be changed. But the issue goes beyond replace the old or to take back a ing words. Ones that try and strike Being politically correct needs racism. 'Handicapped' and term and give it new meaning. at the heart of a given identity and to come back to its roots. It's the letters@cordweekly. com 'retarded' have been replaced with 'Queer' is still considered offensive accurately portray the group. old ideas that have to change first, 'persons with disabilities' and 'dif- by some in the gay, lesbian, bisex- But almost every group is made then the old language will follow. ferently-abled.' ual, intersexed, transgendered and up of shades of grey, not blacks Otherwise these ideas linger

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SPORTS INBRIEF Women's Hockey Lady Hawks still undefeated

The top-ranked Hawks contin- ued their winning ways on Saturday with a 3-2 overtime defeat of the perenially strong . Samantha Cully notched the OT winner, while Denise Harrop and Laurissa Kenworthy accounted for the regulation scores as Laurier improved to 5-0. Men's Ho

Women's Strong squad looking pretty average

After a tough loss to the defend- ing OUA Champion on Wednesday, the Laurier ladies rebounded with a strong performance in a 3-0 sweep of Windsor, returning to the .500 mark at 2-2 after a slow start to the season.

GOLDEN HAWK UPDATE Week of Oct 31 - Nov 6, 2005 10/26/05 M Soccer 3, RMC 0 W Volleyball 2, Western 3 M Volleyball 1, Western 3

10/28/05 M Hockey 3, RMC 3

10/29/05 W Hockey 3, Toronto 2 M Hockey 2, Queen's 3 W Lacrosse 11,Toronto 7 Greg Galoska M Soccer 1, Carleton 3

NO CROWN FOR QUEEN'S - Defender Lisa Fotopoulos (left) fends off a Queen's attack en route to a 8-7 ovictory and their fourth OUA title in six years. W Volleyball 3, Windsor 0 M Volleyball 0, Windsor 3

10/30/05 W Lacrosse 8, Queen's 7 OUA Championship Hawks win overtime thriller UPCOMING HOME GAMES 11/02/05 M Volleyball vs 7:00 PM, Athletic Complex In their biggest challenge in three years, the Laurier ladies managed to squeak out an overtime win in the OUA 11/04/05 M Hockey vs Lakehead gold A five-goal performance by Gerrie nearly matched Queen's total offence 7:30 PM, Waterloo Rec Complex medal game. rookie attack Kirsten 11/05/05 M Hockey vs Lakehead 7:30 PM, Waterloo Rec Complex

- from LAX, cover "I can't say anything except they lone meeting before Sunday was a her players plough their way are the most fabulous team," she 7-7 draw in the regular season. through the game on their own. 11/05/05 M Football vs McMaster The Gaels opened the contest with said. "We are a second-half team There is certainly a rivalry "That's always my style," admit- 1:00 PM, University Stadium a quick score in the first half to and just keep going with the game developing between the two ted Orth. "They know what is there

gain the early momentum, but plan. Our defence was superb; teams, and Howard was quick to for them and what isn't ... I don't U/05/05 Windsor are them, direct W/M vs Gerrie promptly knotted the score that made a difference." acknowledge it."I think they have to direct they 2:00/4:00 PM, Athletic Complex at one apiece with a firm shot that going to be out to themselves." beat Queen's goalkeeper Alexis get us from now And direct themselves is pre- U/05/05 vs Waterloo never "Everybody hates us, and it just on," the squad did - right W Hockey Maddaloni. Though Laurier mentioned cisely what 2:00 PM, Waterloo Rec Complex led in regulation time, they also face. Howard after hoist- toward an Ontario title for the never fell behind by more than felt so good to rub it in their ing the champi- third consecutive season. The title 11/06/05 vs Toronto two goals at any point. onship trophy. is the first for any WLU team in W Hockey We wanted it so much more than 7:30 PM, Waterloo Rec Complex Gerrie was joined on the score There was also 2005-2006, and Orth guffaws sheet by second-year attack they did." a disparity of coach- when she's asked about the possi- Jessica Jlott and third-year stand- ing approaches on bility of four in a row next year. LAURIER BOOKSTORE

out Amanda Marshall, who netted - Kirsten Gerrie, first year attack the sidelines for this "Don't even talk about that," she ATHLETES OF THE WEEK pleaded. Until lacrosse becomes a two goals of her own. While there game. Queen's Shaun Wigger were some obvious individual bench-boss CIS-wide sport, the Hawks will Men's Soccer efforts that did not go unnoticed, Entering the playoffs, Queen's Brendan Sweeney was often ani- have to be content with their com- was to Laurier their and vocal at times, plete OUA dominance. Kirsten Gerrie Goach Lynn Orth quick and both sat atop mated very Women's Lacrosse praise the play of her team as a respective divisions with identical whereas Laurier's Orth prefers a whole. 9-0-1 records on the season. Their quieter style on the bench, letting www.laurierathletics.com The Cord Weekly^ Sports WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2. 2005 ￿ 11 White Sox title largely ignored

Chicago's tremendous run simply doesn't seem to excite like Yanks-BoSox star power and storied history

entertaining as any sweep can be. Four games all separated by two runs or less, a bottom of the ninth walk-off home run and a 14- VIVEK SARMA inning marathon sums it up. Cord Sports In fact, Chicago's entire champi- onship season was as entertaining So how about them White Sox?! as any White Sox run can be. First, No, seriously. How 'bout them? there was the emphatic start to the Not much, because thanks to FOX, season and runaway lead for the you probably didn't bother watch- Central division. ing their four-game sweep of the Next, the near-fatal collapse, Houston Astros. which saw the Cleveland Indians The first championship to grace nearly steal the division. Yet the Southside Chi-city in nearly a cen- Sox' fanatic manager, Ozzie tury came and went, registering Guillen, somehow found a way to barely a blip on the North coax one extra pitch, hit or run out American sports radar. FOX has of his troops whenever necessary. proclaimed it the "lowest rated On an off night, this guy can bare- World Series ever." ly speak English to Chicago media, Excuse me? No Yankees or Red yet he now has as many rings as Sox and all of a sudden Bobby Cox and Tony Laßussa. becomes futile? Now there's a storyline! Oh, and THERE ARE 30 TEAMS in Major as a side note, Guillen in a state- League Baseball, NOT TWO! ment to the media earlier this year, I don't know about the rest of threatened to quit if he brought a the world, but I am a little sick of title home. We'll just have to wait New York and Boston, with their and see what happens with that. respective $200 million and $125 White Sox's owner Jerry million payrolls dictating the for- Reinsdorf must be savoring this Jordan Jocius - Rookie Damir Hadziavdic looks he nets the final over tunes of . one (mind you, his six NBA rings BATED BREATH on as goal in a 3-0 playoff win RMC. It's hard enough for Jays' fan to with the Bulls would probably tolerate these two juggernauts help assuage any disappointment buying East Divisional titles, so otherwise), proving that a $69 mil- surely the rest of the league must lion payroll can win a champi- as Men out George OUA be growing tired of it well. onship. Yanks' boss bow in Ignored in all the fuss was a Steinbrenner paid a bunch more gutsy team with a manager who for a first-round exit, which goes played ball the way it was meant to to show you what reckless spend- be played. Lost was Chicago's first ing can buy in baseball these days soccer quarterfinals World Series victory in 88 years. (see: drugged up Jason Giambi Beantown's magical run to the and senior citizen Randy title last year, their first since 1918, Johnson). PARRY SOHI teen minutes left when Knox, after against the hometown Ravens. was documented and analyzed ad At the end of the day, it's nice to Cord Sports making a great effort to stop the They controlled the ball in the nauseum. I think I even saw David know the big guy doesn't always ball from going out of bounds, midfield and offensively, as much Ortiz on Beyond the Glory once. win, even if most of the sporting The Wilfrid Laurier men's soccer crossed the ball to Hadziavdic, ofthe half was played in Carleton's But will AJ Pierzynski or Joe world is too foolish to take notice. team kicked off their playoff run who capitalized with his first goal zone. Nearing the half, Laurier's Crede get their 15 minutes of fame Congrats to Chicago fans, cheer last Wednesday against Royal of the game. Daniel Toto and Shaun Wigger was able to convert this off-season? Yeah, I didn't think up FOX and thanks to the Yankees Military College at University Robert Rubino had late scoring on a superb shot from 25 yards so. and Red Sox for ruining it all. Stadium, the two teams having opportunities for the Hawks, but out, putting Laurier up 1-0 at the Lack of star power and ratings met just one week prior, resulting were unable to convert, leaving half. aside, this Series was as close and [email protected] in a 0-0 draw. The opening min- the final score at 3-0. Alas, the second half saw utes of the game were slow, as The defence was rarely tested momentum shift to the Ravens. nerves seemed to be an issue on and was strong overall, holding Carleton's Timothy Khaemba tied both sides of the ball. RMC scoreless and offensively the match up in the 71st minute. INTRAMURAL SPORTS Laurier had the stronger half, frustrated. Coach Barry MacLean The Ravens were then able to go but was unable to capitalize. thought, "the team came out a lit- up 2-1 just minutes later, as Josh Miguel Knox and Damir tle frantic and nervous in the first Dewar-Morris broke down the Hadziavdic had great opportuni- half, but played well and had some Laurier defence to net his first goal ties, but were unable to finish. great finishes in the second." of the game. Finally, Khaemba put Intercepting a pass from RMC, the game out of Hadziavdic found himself on an Three-time MVP Lyall reach with his sec- open field break-away, to no avail; Jason ond goal of the RMC goalkeeper Anthony Carter finished his CSS career with a 3-1 game, solidifying kept the team in the game the first the score at 3-1 in half. The defence, led by Jason loss to Carleton over the weekend favour of the Lyall, was strong throughout the Ravens. half, limiting RMC's chances. Despite the The Golden Hawks came out The Hawks took no time off, playoff exit, the Hawks can't be too strong in the second half and were immediately preparing for their disappointed with their efforts in rewarded five minutes in. Knox quarterfinal match against 2005. The young team exceeded was able to turn his defender and Carleton, which took place this expectations and will be a threat in rip a shot on net, beating the RMC past weekend. The situation 2006. Coach MacLean was keeper, which seemed to spark Laurier faced was eerily familiar. unavailable for comment at press Laurier, as the momentum for the Last year, after taking out RMC in time. rest of the game remained deci- the first round, the Hawks fell to In his final eligible year, team sively in their corner. Carleton in the quarterfinals. leader Jason Lyall must be com- Ten minutes later, WLU's Chris "Hopefully, we'll be able to get mended for his contribution to the

Jordan Jocius Di Übaldo fed Knox an amazing some revenge against them from men's soccer program over the last ,T pass, splitting two defenders. Knox last year, but it's going to be a five years. A three-time team MVP 'S ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED 'FOOTBALL' - First-year Economics student made a quick move and was able tough battle," noted Knox of the and four-time OUA first-team All Jackie Wan, of the team Agents 1, barely misses a goal from Peter Ecsy, of to net his second goal of the game, impending rematch. Star, he was twice named to the the top-ranked International Golden Hawk Soccer (IGHS) squad, during the putting the Hawks up 2-0. Looking for retribution, Laurier CIS All Canadian Team and his late night Laurier International Soccer League tournament at Willison Field The game was sealed with fif- came out strong in the first half presence will be sorely missed. on Friday, October 28, 2005. The Cord Weekly 12￿ WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 Playoff Preview

An impressive second straight undefeated season, 1 7 consecutive wins in OUA play, and a number three national ranking are just a few of the accomplishments the Golden Hawks gridiron warriors have had the last week to revel in. They're well rested. They're healthy. And they're ready to begin their real season as a veteran-laden squad looks to bring home the second Vanier Cup in WLU history, the first in 14 years. With prolific quarterback Ryan Pyear, 1000-yard rusher Nick Cameron, and a host of other Hawks in their last year of eligibility, the time is now for Laurier football. SOUNDINGOff

"The only thing I'll ever predict is that we will compete like heck and make everybody proud regardless of the out- come."

- Head Coach Gary Jeffries "We have a lot of fifth- year guys on this team and that thought's in the back of our minds.... People know it, so we just have to try to block it out and still take it one game at a time."

- Wide receiver Andy Baechler

"If each of us get our assignments on each play, it's not going to mat- ter how good the defences are because we're still going to get the yards we need to get first down after first down."

- Running back Nick Cameron "We know we're good and we know there's a lot of expectations on us, but we're just doing the best job we can."

- Quarterback Ryan Pyear

"We're not as big. We don't run the ball quite like they used to, but our team's a lot more athletic, I think."

- Defensive back Joel Wright, comparing thisyear's team to the 1991 Vanier Cup Champions, the only Laurier team to ever cap- ture Vanier glory. Courtesyof Wilfrid Laurier UniversityArchives and Special Collections

REKINDLING PAST GLORY - The 1991 Golden Hawks captured the Vanier Cup by downing Mount Allison 25-12, a feat this year's team looks to duplicate. Road to theVanier Cup OUA SEMI-FINALS -￿ YATES CUP -￿ UTECK BOWL -￿ VANIER CUP The Hawks host McMaster this week- Western gets the publicity, but Ottawa is The OUA victor gets to avoid the nation's Anyone that doesn't expect to see the end, and will need to be better than they a tremendous young team anchored by top two ranked squads, as number two battling for the Holy were in a weak 33-26regular season win, mobile quarterback Josh Sacobie and Saskatchewan and number one Laval Grail of CIS football is, quite frankly, a as Mac is back in top form with the Laurier fans can expect to welcome will meet in the Mitchell Bowl, barring fool. They've won back-to-back national return of QB Adam Archibald and veter- them to University Stadium for the Yates any major upsets. The East representa- titles, allowed just 75 points over eight an linebackers Tristan Clovis and Jeff Cup Final. Unfortunately for the Gee tive could conceivably be St. FX or St. games this season, and limited teams to Robertshaw. Coming off a sound 49-19 Gees, their lack of a run game will prove Mary's, but my pick is Acadia. a meager 46 yards per game on the thrashing of the , their disastrous and the Hawks will take their Regardless, the Maritime squads should ground. Yeah. They're good. This year's confidence runs high. For now. second straight OUA title. realistically be playing for the right to Hawks squad is very strong, and could lose to the OUA Champ. conceivably dethrone the CIS power- PREDICTION: LAURIER 34, MCMASTER 24. PREDICTION: LAURIER 28, OTTAWA 14. house. But strong enough to be the PREDICTION: LAURIER 38, ACADIA 10. favourites? God no. "I think our chances are pretty good. I "They are going to be a really, really tough mean, we haven't lost in 17 games, so "A lot of the teams out East - they're kind PREDICTION: LAVAL 17,LAURIER 10. team to beat. They had an amazing game until someone beats us, we're at the top." of run-oriented, whereas we're not. We against Windsor." love to pass the ball. We kind of mix it up "They played against the number four - Running back Nick Cameron - Defensive back Joel Wright to keep teams on their toes." team in the country [Montreal] and just killed them.... They look like men play-

- Defensive back Joel Wright ing against boys." - Defensive back Joel Wright Wi:ekly| The Cord Playoff Preview WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2. 2005^' 13 CurrentHawks rival '91 champs

still applies today. Back then, the NFL careers. the Hawks struggle to a 22-3 half- and support staff committed to Hawks had the best defence in the The Hawks kicked the time deficit only to explode to a closing the gap between our pro- country, led by legendary middle Mustangs' butts for three quarters 42-22 come-from-behind victory gram and the national competi- linebacker Fred Grossman and ofplay and entered the fourth with over Queen's. tion. As a result, everything from STEFAN PTSAZEK CFL great Greg Knox at safety. a 30-13 lead, only to collapse com- The Hawks' defensive unit dom- recruiting to weight lifting has Offensive Coordinator But the '05 defensive unit is pletely. Final score: 56-37Western. inated the Cup game. They com- been reevaluated with a national every bit as talented. Linebacker But the result of this monumental pletely shut down Mount Allison's championship as the So far, the 1991 Vanier Cup-win - Jesse Alexander and cornerback collapse was not despair, finger run game, with Kubas and fifth- goal. ning Golden Hawks are the best lan Logan will have to play similar pointing or self-doubt. year running back Andy Ceccini We eagerly await the start of the team in Laurier football history. roles if the Hawks are to go deep The Hawks learned that they putting together enough offence 2005 playoffs. Regardless of the But their reign is very much in into the playoffs. could compete with anyone in the to lift the Hawks to a 25-12 victory opponent, we will enter each jeopardy in 2005, as WLU is poised Offensively, the '91 Hawks got country and that they were con- and their first and only national game with complete trust in our to make a legitimate run at nation- big games from their playmakers. tenders for the Vanier Cup. This championship. teammates, coaches and game al glory Fifth-year running back Andy knowledge and belief in each 14 years later the names have plan. Back-to-back undefeated sea- Ceccini's best four games of his other would be instrumental in changed, but the feelings are eeri- We fear no situation, no player sons and 17 straight OUA wins is career were his final four. If this the playoff run that was to follow. ly similar. and no team. Trust, discipline and something that even the 1991 crew year's Hawks get similar perform- The '91 playoffs were a circus of The 2004 Hawks had a reality heart took the '91 Hawks a long couldn't manage; they finished the ances from their departing veter- emotion, last minute heroics, sec- check last year at Laval. As a team, way, and we intend toride them as regular season at 5-2. For that feat ans (Ryan Pyear, Bryon Hickey, ond-half comebacks, and unbe- we had the opportunity to meas- far as we can go in 2005. alone, names like Pyear, Logan Andrew Agro, Mitch Zappitelli, lievable defensive play. The Yates ure ourselves against the best pro- and Jeffries will be honoured in and Mike Maurice), they will Cup in London saw quarterback gram in the country. The result on years to come as some of the best indeed be difficult to stop. Bill Kubas engineer a fourth-quar- the field was a disappointing 30-11 Stefan Ptaszek is the Hawks' to ever compete for the purple and But this is easier said than done. ter drive that ended with him div- loss to the eventual national Offensive Coordinator and was a gold. The road to the Vanier Cup is ing over the goal line despite suf- champions. wide receiver on the Vanier Cup All the pieces of the Cup puzzle rarely smooth or predictable, as fering a partially separated shoul- But the off-field results have Champion 1991 Golden Hawks appear to be in place. Should the the '91 team learned. The Hawks der earlier in the game. been much more positive. 11 2005 Hawks go on a four-game jumped out to a 3-0 start and were The national semi-finals saw months ago, our players, coaches win streak, they will lay claim to a ranked nationally going into a national championship and likely week four match up with the top- replace the '91 crew as the best ranked Western Mustangs. The team to ever compete at Laurier. 'Stangs had an extremely talented Fourteen years ago, the saying team that included Tim Tindale "defence wins championships" and Tyrone Williams, both of rang true for the '91 squad, and it whom went on to have successful

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gjl nftimp? ® ■ irunninn out%i I II I I ifcHHfcl wexA- *^©«, 111 111 I I jjOt. | let us photocopy... JB_ | "a" pg you keep studying Fridays B:3oam - 4:oopm CAO/ I [email protected] ! J" /0 off all black and white photocopies with this coupon www.mylaurier.ca/hub o„jy one coupon per customer per visit. Not to be oomuined with any other offer. Some testricfons may apply lr»-store BW photocopying only. Expires 11#11/20 14+WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2. 2005 Feature To uyornotto uy: erea costa

BLAIR FORSYTH-STARK to see if they could pick out the looking for only one plagiarized As Cote notes, papers that can Aside from the poor mark you'd Features Editor imposter. piece, and could assume upon be bought online are "general likely receive on one of the pur­ Dr. Penelope Ironstone- finding one that appeared to be enough that they can be useful" chased essays, the academic It's 4am on a lonely Sunday night Catterall (Cultural Studies, Fine plagiarized that the others were but rarely provide the detail and penalties are nothing trivial. as you stare at the blank screen of Arts), Dr. Edwin Jewinski (English) credible. variety of sources required for your computer. and Mark Cote (Communication Ironstone-Caterall took a quick most senior academic papers. THE CONSEQUENCES You're hoping for divine inspira­ Studies) were presented with three look at the papers and quickly dis­ The purchased essay in ques­ tion that will help you finish, or essays on instant messaging. Two cerned which one was plagiarized, tion was approximately 1800 Under WLU's Student Code of even start, that nagging essay of the essays were written by at "a very cursory glance. Looking words and written by an OAC stu­ Conduct, academic misconduct that's due tomorrow morning. Laurier students for third-year · at the examples, looking at the first dent who cited only from one identifies six all-encompassing It's a situation that nearly all stu­ communication studies classes, page and the simple first quote [... ] textbook and CNN.com. forms of plagiarizing and cheat­ dents face, and while most get it while the other was purchased indicates something quite clearly According to Ironstone- ing, including submitting the work together and pull ridiculous all­ through www.123HelpMe.com for to me. Looking at it for two min­ Caterall, the textbook can be of someone else as your own or nighters to finish their work, some $15.69. utes was all it took." found online which was another handing in the same work, or part resort to plagiarizing, stealing, As Cote noted, indication to her that the essay of it, for more than one class. rehashing or buying a paper. "A student's writing was plagiarized. Plagiarism cases are first While divine essay intervention Two of the essays were written by ability can be seen "No one uses this as a textbook brought to the chair of the given is rare, the ability to purchase from a midterm," so in any of our classes so it makes it department and then to the dean essays online is becoming increas­ laurier students for third-year when "out of less and less likely that someone of that faculty. In some cases, the ingly easy and requires little more nowhere, you've got from our classes would have VP: Academic may even be than Internet access and a credit communication studies classes, an incredibly pol­ located this at all," she said. involved. According to Dr. Sue card. ished paper that's After consulting several web­ Horton, VP:Academic, the school Faced with looming deadlines while the other was purchased grammatically very sites, the essay purchased was the "takes [plagiarism] very seriously. and multiple assignments, some through www.123HelpMe.com for sound," it's bound best found, which says some­ These are very serious offences students find themselves in diffi­ to raise suspicion. thing about the overall quality of and at the university level, I would cult situations and contemplate $15.69. All of the pro­ papers available. want all departments to pursue purchasing an essay online so that fessors agreed that "Quite frankly, if somebody has this." Horton also indicated that in they have something, anything, to the easiest way to the critical attention that would some extreme cases the "maxi­ hand in the next day. The professors were asked to recognize plagiarized essays is accept [the plagiarized essay] as a mum penalty would be expulsion While some may see online read the essays and employ any that they rarely deal with material purchased essay and then tum it essays as an easy remedy to a methods they regularly use to specific to the course. "It has to be in, I can imagine what the final semester of truancy and falling catch plagiarizers to determine something in the course that exam would look like and the behind in readings, the universi­ which essay was purchased. relates to the material of our exam will correct my possible ty's punishments for plagiarizers course," explained Jewinski. oversight. I'm a great believer in are strict and far worse than THE RESULTS "The ones that I've caught are final exams for that purpose," receiving a late penalty or even a usually papers that are really, commented Jewinski. zero. It turns out that two out of the clearly, not at· all associated with "The language of [the essay] is three professors were able to suc­ the class. Well, the paper doesn't fit crap; it's a D+ paper," said THE EXPERIMENT cessfully identify the plagiarized and so very often I don't have to Ironstone-Caterall. piece. even bother building a case In an attempt to see if term The third professor searched for against the student, because on papers for sale on the Internet are one of the legitimate essays online that ground alone, it will not be comparable to legitimate ones, and found it on the author's per­ assessed for the class. It's a zero The Cord purchased one online sonal website, thereby assuming it because it doesn't fit the assign­ and submitted it to a panel of pro­ was the stolen essay. It's important ment," explained Dr. Ironstone­ fessors from different disciplines to note that the professors were Caterall. WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 •15

Apanel of professors evaluate three essays to see if they ly: can successfully identify the paper that was purchased online. Their deductions and the repercussions of plagiarizing essays are important as deadlines approach and some students contemplate taking the easy way out

mark you'd for a student who is a repeat rather than resort to cheating. require all professors to fully pur­ explained that "every student who Jf the pur­ offender." "Students who do foolish things sue plagiarism cases. purchases something from a academic Some essay sites offer to write and go to plagiarism are so terri­ However, catching students paper mill, or who plagiarizes or ivial. customized papers that require fied and they've got to remember who plagiarize is not something who otherwise cheats, is devalu­ about 4 days notice and average that professors are human, profes­ that appeals to any of the profes­ ing the degree of everybody else about $10 a page, but as sors will care; talk to them openly sors. who's at this institution." Ironstone-Caterall points out "the and honestly and most of the time ''I'm not a professor so that I can 1t Code of made-to-order papers [... ] have something can be worked out," be a cop," stated Cote. "When we 1isconduct not achieved the standard that is assured Jewinski. have to rely on a private company ompassing expected [of students]." Also, most Cote and Ironstone-Caterall like turnitin.com, it saddens me." and cheat- were both quick to Cote and Ironstone-Caterall 1gthework "I'm not a professor so that I can note that if a stu­ also feel that plagiarizers take mr own or dent did plagiarize, away from the university's reputa­ ork, or part be a cop; when we have to rely on they'd have "no tion. "It degrades the general envi­ class. compunction in ronment of the university," said are first a private company like throwing the book Cote, while f the given at them," said Cote. o the dean turnitin.com, it saddens me." "I guarantee ~cases, the that in each and even be - Mark Cote, Sessional Lecturer at WLU every case where :o Dr. Sue there has been a the school students who resort to cheating problem, if I catch it, I will take y seriously. usually leave the paper until the them up on charges each and rs offences last minute, and probably would­ every time because the person vel, I would n't have the time to order a custom they are doing a disservice to is to pursue paper. themselves," explained Ironstone­ ated that in The professors were also in Caterall, who also explained that the "maxi­ accordance that they would rather some departments, like ~ expulsion a student come to them for help Communication Studies, . now

""~ |The Weekly 16WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 International Cord North Korean journalistsleast free The Democratic People's Republic of North Korea finished a dismal 167th in the Worldwide Press Freedom Index; Canada came in 21st

ARLA LATTO-HALL top 60 countries. Slovenia ranked the Syrian-born Canadian who Copy Editing Manager 9th, Estonia 11th and Lithuania was deported and tortured under tied with Canada at 21st . suspicion of engaging in terrorist In the 2005 Worldwide Press Although the highest rankings activity. The Mounties were after Freedom Index recently released are composed of rich countries, O'Neill's source who leaked vital by international media watchdog, several poor ones are also among information to her regarding the Reporters Without Borders, The the top 60, refuting the claim that case. Democratic People's Republic of economic development is neces- Canada still ranks above the (North) Korea finished an unsur- sary for democracy. These regions domestic United States, however, prising dead last. include Benin (25), Mali (37) and who sits in 44th place. The U.S. According to the report, the Bolivia (45). has fallen 20 places since the 2004 nation's secret police are continu- Index, mostly due ing to send dissident journalists to Privately owned media outlets and to the imprison- concentration camps under the ment of New York direction of Dictator Kim Jong-11. freedom of expression were Times reporter On a positive note, the report Judith Miller and tied eight northwestern European non-existent in the countries at new legal restric- countries, including Denmark, tions on the ability Finland and Iceland as most free. the bottom of the ranks, described of journalists to The top ten countries are all protect their European, consistent with last as "black holes" sources. year's results. The report Other trends in the Index ranked countries include a slide among Western Although South Korea ranks first based on a questionnaire, democracies, a rise in African and in the Asian continent at 34th, the addressing issues affecting jour- Latin American press freedom and region is still most difficult for nalists - murders, imprisonments, continued trouble in both Asia journalists. Nepal's king has physical attacks and threats - and and Iraq. implemented censorship and news media - censorship, confis- North Korea ranked 167th, qual- arrested more than 150 journalists cation of issues, searches and ifying it as the least free country within the first ten days of harassment. for the press. It also ranked last in September 2004. Although China Abuses attributed to the state, the 2004 report. Eritrea (166) and has begun to privatize some of its armed militias, clandestine organ- Turkmenistan (165) rounded out media, dozens of sensitive issues izations and pressure groups are the bottom three. are forbidden. Cyber-dissidents also taken into account. The 2005 Those at the bottom were have been sought out and impris- report covered abuses from described as "black holes", where oned. September 1, 2004 to September 1, privately owned media and free- Canada ranked 21st in the 2005. dom of the press and expression report, the highest ranking for a Some countries were not do not exist. In these countries, non-European country, after slip- included in the list for lack of cred- journalists are propaganda agents ping three places from last year ible data, and rankings do not of the government with little to no due to court decisions weakening reflect the quality ofthe press. editorial independence. source confidentiality, turning The organization's aim is to The report also contradicts some journalists into "court auxil- advocate journalists' freedom some commonly held beliefs iaries". from imprisonment or murder about how long it takes a free press Canada got in trouble with the and to promote privately owned to develop. Although authoritari- organization after the RCMP raid- media organizations, both of an leaders claim democracy takes ed Ottawa Citizen reporter Juliet which are rare in countries under time O'Neill's home. In November of the thumb of despots. Contributed Photo to establish, the Index shows that of the states who have 2003, The Citizen ran a front-page NO STORY WORTH THIS - Hachemi, son of Zahra Kazemi, an Stephen regained independence within the story written by O'Neill about the Iranian-born Canadian holds the camera that belonged to his to story OPINION, PAGE 6 journalist, last 15 years, nine rank among the RCMP investigation of Maher Arar, Editorial reaction this in mother. Kazemi was murdered by authorities while covering a story in Iran. Teens beheaded on their way to school

TONY FERGUSON and Muslims, who are roughly tival of Idul Fitri tomorrow. International Editor proportionate to each other in "Everybody understands the number. significance and timing of this," Three Indonesian girls were killed With the memory of a previous she says. on their way to class on Saturday, flare-up between Christians and Jones also foresees a possible beheaded by a group of men car- Muslims still looming, one which retaliation saying, "If there's any- rying machetes. A fourth girl man- left nearly 2000 people dead thing that would bring some ofthe aged to escape but was critically between 1998 and 2001, the Christian villagers out in full mili- wounded. Jakarta government mobilized 300 tant form it would be retaliation The incident, which took place paramilitary police. for this kind of attack." in the Muslim town of Poso, Although gov- Indonesia, located about 1,600 km The heads of the victims were left ernment-mediat- from Jakarta, is being blamed by ed truces and security experts on Muslim radi- in two seperate locations to be peace accords, cals. like the 2001 The bodies remained at the discovered by residents hours after Malino Accords scene while the heads were left in implemented by two separate locations and discov- the beheadings, security experts are former President ered by residents two hours after Jusuf Kalla, have the incident. blaming Muslim radicals helped to subside Police were ordered to track the worst of the down the killers by President fighting, occa- Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, who The occurrence of the attacks sional flare-ups continue in the condemned the violent act. are believed to be pre-meditated district. "I condemn this barbarous according to Sidney Jones, direc- In May, 21 people were killed killing, whoever the perpetrators tor of the International Crisis after a bomb was detonated in are and whatever their motives," Group, a non-profit organization Tentena, a Christian village near he said. dedicated to preventing deadly Poso. Indonesia is a predominantly conflicts. The girl who escaped the attack- Muslim country but the Sulawesi Jones believes that the attacks ers is reported to be in stable con- Contributed Photo

killings took were a deliberate provocation dition in a police hospital in the - region, where the A STERN MESSAGE FOR TERRORISTS A protestor in Jakarta shows how up to the Islamic of Palu. place, is home to both Christians leading holy fes- provincial capital he feels about a terrorist attack that happened last May. Weekly [The Cord International Opinion WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 ￿' 17 The world quietly loses a legend Modern society knows little of the discrimination that occurred in Rosa Parks' time but it still exists

already spreading civil rights movement in the Southern United States, but also helped to give oth- ers the audacity and sheer guts to NATHANYEL TERRACE stand up to a system riddled with CordInternational ill-founded prejudice against a large portion of their society, prej- This past week, the world lost a udice based entirely on the colour legend. Last Monday, at home, of their skin. surrounded by family and close In our modern age, we know lit- friends, Rosa Parks passed away. tle as a society of the widespread Her long back-room career in discrimination that was prevalent

the civil rights movement began at that time - but it still exists. on a quiet day in 1955, when she While openly praising such famed refused to give up her seat on a and yet modest rights activists as transit bus in Montgomery, Parks, we stand quiet as people are Alabama so that a man could sit bullied, fight against help for the down. After all, the first people on underprivileged, and protest the bus get the seats, while the against wars to free the oppressed. folks who come on later have to But we still claim, "I don't just stand, right? stand there if I see someone get- ting beaten up, I always make dona- Rosa Parks showed courage that tions to homeless shelters, and when day, because she knew and felt it it comes to Iraq, I just don't support was the right thing to do America's imperial- istic leanings." Contributed Photo The freedom of taking whatever What a poor, deluded country FLARING TEMPERS - Bahrainis burn an Israeli flag during a demonstration marking "Jerusalem Day" last Friday. seat you want has not always been we live in.

a common luxury. In fact, for Am I a homosexual? No - but I many years in the United States - recognize the fact that under our and even Eastern Canada, for own Constitution and Charter of those who think the civil rights cri- Rights and Freedoms we, as a A world without Israel? sis was limited to our neighbours nation, cannot deny those persons

to the South - black people were the same rights that we ourselves treated as second-class citizens. take for granted. Am I a soldier? No Iran has no moral grounds to attack Israel, writes a sarcastic Richard Togman If you were black, you couldn't - yet I accept the fact that the sit in the same train car as white actions of the United States in Iraq folks, you couldn't eat in the same should, in the longer term, result Islamic world." their exports. restaurant, you couldn't even use in better lives for its citizens. The elected leader of Iran is by Thus, I see no reason why we the same bathroom. What has our society come to, to no means alone in his anti-Zionist should not welcome the develop- That division of the world's pop- so quietly ignore the defamation discourse. The late Ayatollah ment of a nuclear armed Iran, ulation into "white" and "non- and criticism of those less privi- RICHARD TOGMAN Khomeini was a great fan of the which obviously is a responsible white" was why Rosa Parks' leged? To criticize our government CordInternational "World Without Zionism" confer- and trustworthy partner for peace actions on that bus in Alabama a for not helping them, while at the ences and an emphatic supporter in the Middle East. half-century ago caused such a same time frustrating all attempts

With great fanfare and public of the destruction of the Zionist In fact, due to Iran's promotion disturbance - she was black, and to lend a hand? enthusiasm Mahmoud entity. of innovative and original solu- the man who wanted to sit down In her later years, Rosa Parks Ahmadinejad, the President of As well, the former President of tions to the mid-east conflict, they was white. said, "I am leaving this legacy to all Iran, heralded the start of the Iran, Hashemi Rafsanjani, called should perhaps be nominated to What difference should the of you; to bring peace, justice, annual "World Without Zionism" for a Muslim state to annihilate chair the UN Human Rights colour of a person's skin make, equality, love and a fulfillment of celebration which has marked the Israel with a nuclear strike back in Commission, which is currently when it comes to how you treat what our lives should be. Without end of the holy month of 2001. With the same zeal with headed by Libya, a known sup- them? None. And yet it did. Rosa vision, the people will perish, and Ramadan since 1979. which Canadians proclaim to be porter and practitioner of human Parks was arrested, jailed, and without courage and inspiration, Hundreds of thousands of sup- not-American, the Iranians have rights. fined for refusing to give up her dreams will die - the dream of porters flooded the streets of showered Israel with their opin- Seif Ghaddaffi, son of Libyan seat to another, solely on the basis freedom and peace." Tehran to take part in the festivi- ions on their state and choice of dictator Moammar Ghadaffi, of skin colour. As a nation, and as individuals, ties, which included the burning residence. when asked about his country's She showed courage that day by we would do well to remember ofthe American and Israeli flags as Not to think that such boasts are own human rights record was openly defying cultural tradition, that while her life on this Earth well as the usual effigies. unfounded, the Iranian govern- quoted as saying: "Sure, we are not not because she wanted to cause may be over, that of her dream has The President capped off the ment has been supplying Switzerland or Denmark; we are trouble, but merely because she just begun - and it is up to us, our event with a fiery speech pro- Palestinian "freedom fighter" part of the Third World and part of felt - she knew - that it was the families and our children to turn claiming that Israel "must be groups such as the self-titled the Middle East. But we are better right thing to do. Her courage not that dream into reality. wiped off the map" and that "Islamic Jihad" with weapons and than our neighbours." only helped to further spark the Palestinian attacks would destroy ammunition. Thus, with a community of the Zionist entity. He continued to Moreover, Iran has been instru- neighbours as tolerant and peace- describe the intricate geo-political mental in the establishment and loving as Iran, Iraq, Syria, Saudi subtleties of the conflict by stating funding of Hezbollah, whose stat- Arabia and Egypt it is a wonder that "the establishment of a ed goal is the destruction of the why the Israelis must be fitted Zionist regime was a move by the Zionist entity (Israel), as well as with gas masks by their first year in world oppressor against the the establishment of an Islamic kindergarden and seem so jumpy Islamic world." caliphate, similar to that pro- and nervous about the prospect of His nuanced examination nounced by al-Qaeda. welcoming another member into sparked spontaneous cheers and Iran is also currently progress- oh-so-trendy nuclear club. rampant applause among the ing in the development of nuclear Maybe if Israel was so bold as to Iranian students he was address- weapons, which it kept hidden declare that its neighbours should ing. from the UN and the lAEA for over be wiped off the map and their He added a specific address to 18 years, however it is obvious that inhabitants thrown into the sea his fellow Muslim leaders and they wish to maintain a nuclear then they too could be welcomed affirmed that "anybody who rec- arsenal for peaceful purposes as is by the international community ognizes Israel will burn in the fire their right in the nuclear non-pro- with as much tolerance and °112 the Islamic nations' fury" as well liferation treaty. understanding as Iran has. emphasizing that anybody Their trade with other progres- who recognizes the Zionist sive regimes such as North Korea Contributed Photo

regime means he is acknowledg- in long range missile technology is AN EMOTIONAL WAIT - Rodney Brown, of the Fire Department, ingthe surrender and defeat of the but a part of the diversification of letters@cordweekly. com holds up Rosa Parks' obituary card as he waits for the arrival of her casket. 18* WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2. 2005 International The CordWeekly North American churches forewarned

TONY FERGUSON Report," said the group of 20 tions," said the conservative cler- International Editor church provinces. gy- The Windsor Report is a docu- The US church is expected to US and Canadian churches got a ment which provides steps to be have a general convention in June, stern warning Monday about their taken to resolve the dispute, call- where American priests will set liberal stances on gay rights. ing for US and Canadian churches their permanent position on gay Traditionalist Anglican clerics to express regret for their actions. clerics and same-sex marriages. from churches in Africa, Asia and Canada will act Latin America, a group known as accordingly in 2007 the 'Global South,' warned Western Anglicans aren't and the world's Canadian and American clergy responding to calls for repentance bishops the follow- they were destroying a 450-year- ing year. old church tradition. from churches of the Global South The Global The Western Anglicans aren't South, in an responding to calls for "repen- for their liberal views on attempt to regain tance" which were put forth in control of church some of the strongest language homosexuality practice, supported yet. the drawing up of The 2003 ordination of a gay an "Anglican bishop by the US Episcopal Covenant" which Church and the blessing of same- Windsor task force leader would provide "a biblical founda- sex marriages by Canadian Archbishop Robin Eames believes tion for our life, ministry and mis- Anglicans have divided the 77- the report's demands have been sion as a communion." REUTERS/Paul McErlane ever institut- million strong church for nearly met. Conservatives, however, say If the covenant is BIG BROTHER IS SEEING - Britain's Archbishop of the Holy See of three years. US and Canadian churches have ed, it could mean a compromising Canterbury, Rowan Williams, speaks during a news conference last February Traditionalists are outraged, only said sorry for their actions position for the liberal dioceses of pointing to the Bible's supposed and haven't admitted any wrong- either climbing aboard or being said. Catholic Church, has no power to condemnation of homosexuality doing. forced aside. This is according to Archbishop of Canterbury impose a solution. and accusing Western liberals of "We see no evidence that both Rev. William Petersen, who is dean Rowan Williams urged the two The church in Nigeria said in adding unacceptable "innova- ECUSA and the Anglican Church of Bexley Hall, an Episcopal parties to keep talking when he September it had deleted refer- tions" into church doctrine. of Canada are willing to accept the Seminary in Rochester, NY. addressed the Global South meet- ences to Canterbury in its consti- "We call for urgent and serious generally accepted teaching, nor is "The [conservatives] are seeking ing Friday. tution, a move that would open its implementation of the recom- there evidence that they are will- a more binding type of commun- The See of Canterbury, unlike doors to conservatives opposed to mendations of the Windsor ing to turn back from their innova- ion, one that is more doctrinal," he the powerful Vatican in the the advancement of gayrights.

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afe T AUS DTCD For more information, T » EBanTrT) contact Alumni Relations LA^RIcR mssmg£& jggggii TheCordWeekly Student Life WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2. 2005 ￿ 19 Waiting doesn't lead to dating

The authors of He's Just Not That Into You tell ladies to wait, but our sex columnist urges single girls to get more aggressive

later, more sober time, I realized Behrendt states that when a girl seems to be continuing. ing game, the men seem to be for- that I always seem to be the one approaches a guy and asks him And it's not that I'm some feiting, thus making the girls do all who "launches" the moves on out it takes the "fun" out of it and heinous dog woman who is too the work and getting huffy when EMMA MCFARLANE guys. Indeed, in this day and age, leaves the guy feeling less manly physically appalling to approach they realise that men have lost the the tables of who does the majori- Well, okay then, let the manly- (remind me to look my best after upperhand. Sexandthe University ty of initial courting seems to have men out so they can start the this article goes to print so 1 can I, as you will learn, do not wait It's a Saturday night, the Finlandia turned. chase in the game of love. justify that remark), it's just that it's around for anything and pride has been drunk and I'm sauced Yes, there are still the fondlers at not happening. If I myself on my aggressiveness and and strolling down University with Philthy's and Fubar that will stick waited for any of impulsiveness —it might get me a gentleman friend. This is not an their neck out to try to get some- it's just that it's not happening. It 1 the guys 1 have into trouble but the stories pro- unusual happenstance, but rather thing going, but what about the been interested in duced are well worth it. a frequent one after I get into the actual approach? The guy that waited for any of the guys I have to come to me, I'd I don't plan to alter my person- booze. Thus, I join the ranks of my goes out there, has some balls and still be waiting. ality in hopes that if I wait around liquored peers meandering the strikes up a conversation? It seems been interested in to eome to me, The point of patiently baking cookies and coyly streets of Waterloo searching for a to have become a predominately I'd still be waiting. this all: guys need shuffling around clubs or bars, partner in crime. female act. Or maybe it's just me. to get back into that the guy ofmy dreams will take Inhibitions are down (not gone) The dating fad book He's Just the game. Despite it upon himself to walk over. and I am emanating confidence. I Not That Into You: The No-Excuses But wait a moment: there is a books and articles dispelling my Get with the program people. In am the epitome of suave and am Truth to Understanding Guys by small hitch in this plan. Where are opinion, my experiences and that the inspiring words of The Magic able to put the moves on anyone I Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo these guys? I have seen nothing of my fellow girlfriends is proof School Bus' Ms. Frizzle, "Go deem worthy (and he was; cheers advises for girls to "lay low" and but ball-less wonders since 1996 enough for this soldier in the bat- ahead! Take chances! Make mis- for room 2103). wait for the guy to come to you. (boys became an integral part of tlefield of love. takes! And get messy!" As I contemplated this fact at a Are you serious? my life in grade six) and the trend In a once male-dominated dat- HOROSCOPES

Happy Birthday Scorpio!!! Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dcc. 2/) Pisces (Feb. I 9-Mar. 20) Gemini 'May 21 Janr 2: j Wii t Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22; ■

This This weekend you will put on the song Congratulations on the great things You've been extremely forgetful late- Sorry Virgo, the stars see nothing for week you'll have your cake and you are about to achieve this week. throw up on it "November Rain" by Guns 'n' Roses ly. Start tattooing notes to yourself all you this week. Seek the wisdom of a too. Besides your birth- You won't see them coming. know day, you have much celebrate this and lay on your bed and cry for hours over your body. Remember Sammy Chinese fortune cookie. They to waaaay more than we do. week. The worst is behind you and about absolutely anything and every- Jenkins. this is perfect timing to get completely thing. Now, doesn't that feel better? Aries (Mar. 2 ! Apr. i 9> mashed. Cancer tjune 22-July 22/ Sfjjwffll Capricorn /Dec-. 22-jan. I9> For non-drinking You live in a world that welcomes tal- Scorpios, your birth- open arms. But Aries, you day will be relatively uneventful. j ent with You will either be extremely crabby, really have no talent. None. So get by a crab, or contract crabs However, you will win the lottery. bitten Michelle ev has been This week you will not miss a single please, stay in school. You can pawn from a stranger you will Pinch complete the class. Except for today. And Thursday. your guitar or paint-set for a supply of meet at the Spur. Either way, proceed fabricating horoscopes since Probably Monday too. You're an idiot. beer that will last you all month. with caution. mid eighties. Her predictions are iibrs (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) t extreme '112: accurate to within 3.1 percent. V) Aquarius (jcn 20-frb \S\ 22) out 20. She 's skills Lately you've been veering to the Taurus (Apr. 20-Moy 20/ . Leo (July 23-August ,'f. times of got but fear not, there's an abun- // f-'Vf-/ you just can't teach, son. dance of one-way in Waterloo, streets If you're pimp and you know it, go on You haven't gotten laid in a while. On use all of the lanes; you are Jeff One man's ugly vest is another girl's Gordon. brush your shoulders off. You are so brand new grab bag. Get crafty this a completely unrelated note, now hot right now Aquarius, that Uranus is week. that midterms are mostly behind you, melting the sun. why not try some do-it-yourself proj- ects? Cord 20 ￿ WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 Student Life BThe Weekly Fear not the speculum, getyour PAP While slightly uncomfortable, vaginal exams are "no reason to get your panties in a bunch" says Stacey Ivits

STACEY IVITIS For some reason, our sex educa- speculum. It supposedly doesn't Student Health Expert tion glossed over this sensitive hurt but has been known to pinch, topic, leading many of us being a little. All the speculum does is Every girl is nervous the first time. apprehensive of the procedure. open the vagina so the cervix can Not over losing her virginity, but Ladies, repeat the following: The be seen. something close to it: your first exam is not as scary as it seems. They take a swab of the cervix to vaginal exam. Sure, it's no picnic and I'm not check for infection and do a Pap A reality for every woman even- looking forward to getting mine smear to look for any abnormali- tually, the vaginal exam comes this year, but it's no reason to get ties. This may be uncomfortable earlier to those who are sexually your panties in a bunch. Here is a but it is not horrible. active. This exam is important to step by step explanation of what They also feel for lumps or ten- check for infection and cellular occurs. derness of the vagina, uterus, changes that can lead to cancer. It ovaries, and is essential to get one done yearly, By age 50, eighty percent of breasts. This either after you become sexually doesn't hurt either. active or when you reach your women will have acquired HPV. Don't let your mid-twenties. insecurities scare Being the responsible woman While this sexually transmitted you. There are that I am, I realized last year that I asymptomatic was going to have to have my first virus has no symptoms and virtual- STDs that are easy physical and I was totally freaked to treat, and iden- out. The fear of not knowing what ly no effect on men, this is the tifying abnormal is going to happen in the exam is cells is essential to almost enough to convince you virus that causes cervical cancer preventing and not to go through with it. treating cancer. I have since realized that I was First, you put on the flimsy It's said that by age 50, 80 per- not the only woman in this gown. You lay on the exam table cent of women will have acquired predicament. and the doctor explains the proce HPV. While this sexually transmit- A friend told me that when she dure, and you get to ask ques ted virus has no symptoms and booked an appointment for a tions. Remember, no question is virtually no effect on men, this is "physical" she did not realize how stupid. They've heard them all. the virus that causes cervical can- physical it would actually get. She You may be required to put your cer. Early treatment means a figured that the doctor would look feet in the "stirrups" or you will greater chance of beating the dis- in her mouth and ears, take some just have them on the exam table ease. A physical could actually Bryn Boyce blood, etc. When the exam was spread apart. save your life, so make that dread- being explained she was thor- The doctor (while wearing ed but essential trip yearly. NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS - The speculum in the diagram is the device (usu- petrified. gloves) will insert a device called a ally plastic) that doctors use to open the vagina; this lets them see the cervix. oughly Quinoa is the new oatmeal, but for young people Food expert Laurie Sadowski discovers "super- grain" Quinoa, a protein-packed replacement for rice and other grains

LAURIE SADOWSKI of brown or wild rice but much Food for thought more nutritionally sound: a cou- ple grams of good fats and a cou- Quinoa (KEEN-wah) is the world's ple grams of fiber. Perfect. best power food. - You can buy it at any specialty Yes, I can say that with confi- or health food store or from the dence. It's often described as a organic/specialty foods of your supergrain, as it is the only grain local grocer. not missing a specific amino acid - Need to mix it up? It's also (lysine), thus, it's a protein power- available in flake form—similar to house. instant oatmeal, ready in a minute It has more iron, potassium, and a half. riboflavin, vitamin 86, niacin and thiman than any other grain. It Quinoa and Beans delivers magnesium, zinc, copper, - 1 tsp. olive oil manganese and folate. - 1 red onion, diced On top of that it's versatile, easy - 3 cloves of garlic, minced - 112 quinoa to make and tastes great. cup of uncooked - 1 1/2 cups of broth (or water if you What does it taste like? Quinoa must) can replace pretty much any grain, - 1 tsp. cumin - and you can use it in all of your 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper (optional if you can't take the heat) favourite recipes instead of rice salt/pepper to taste and pasta. You can even buy - 1 cup corn kernels quinoa flakes (pseudo oatmeal), - 2 large (15 oz.) cans of beans (black beans work best in this), rinsed and which just screams comfort food. drained Contributed Photo

- Chopped fresh cilantro (1 use about

- dish out of it. that's a lie, but - friendly little grain will trip you out. You can make any No, actually The Basics 1/2 cup I love it) KEEN WAH? This it's way more useful and tasty than lentils. If you don't like the taste, it works as clumping cat litter or road salt.

- Rinse the heck out of it before Fast and easy, this is great to Hot for Breakfast you cook it up. You need to get rid make large amounts of on Sunday Quinoa Quinoa Pudding 15 minutes. Add milk and syrup and simmer for 10 minutes. Mix in of an initial bitter coating. for a quick meal to have ready on 1 cup quinoa - 1 cup of quinoa, rinsed, drained vanilla, and remove - it minutes hand or to 2 cup water fruit and cover Toasting for about 5 grab for school. - 2 cups of water ] cup apples, sliced thin (or any fruit) from heat. Let stand for about 15 in a dry skillet before cooking it Heat oil in a pan over medium- - 1/8 tsp. salt 1/3 cup raisins - 1 tsp. cinnamon minutes and garnish with nuts. results in a delicious roasted heat. Saute the onion and garlic. 1 tsp. cinnamon - 2 cups of soymilk or milk flavour. Mix in quinoa and broth, then sea- Milk or sweetener of choice - 1/3 cup real maple syrup a - Basic cooking instructions: son with cumin, cayenne, salt and - 1/3 cup ofraisins, cranberries, cur- Truly super grain two parts liquid, one part quinoa. pepper. Bring to a boil, cover, Rinse the quinoa and bring it to rants - 1 tsp. vanilla extract and Boil then simmer for about 15 reduce heat and simmer for about a boil in water. Reduce heat and Breakfast, appetizer, dinner - 113 cup of roasted pecans, chopped dessert, time stu- minutes (the germ will start to 20 minutes. simmer for about 5 minutes. Add even it's every on a escape from the grains). Stir in corn (if using frozen, heat the fruit and cinnamon, and sim- dent gets to know Quinoa cin- basis. Remember, its - Watching your weight? A quar- thoroughly), then mix in the beans mer until all water is absorbed. Put the quinoa, water, salt and first-name "keen-wah." ter cup (dry) of quinoa has about and cilantro. Top with milk and sweetener. namon in a saucepan. Cover and pronounce

150 calories - comparable to that boil, then reduce and simmer for TheCordWeekly Student Life WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 *21 Scale ofProcrastinatory Pull Blondie's Unisex measures the ease with which a bar tonight and he thinks he heard particular activity attracts you her mention yourname and possi- Hairstyling away from the important things bly the word "underwear" in the you should be doing. same sentence in Sociology today, 28 UNIVERSITY AVE E DJ DEMERS Obviously, I cannot speak for forget about it. You are now going WATERLOO "I shouldbe studying" everyone. I know of people who out ("amazing night" - 8). Your can procrastinate by cleaning. I procrastination is off the charts (a 886-2060 I would be a diligent student if tel- cannot fathom how you can avoid combined 18). evision, friends, the internet, food, doing work by doing an even more I hope the Scale of Please note that the address in thewlu'er was incorrect and the telephone did not exist. mundane task. You people are Procrastinatory Pull has helped Perhaps that is not true. Given a sick. But hey, who am I to judge? you pinpoint exactly whyyou were ball and a wall, I am fairly This scale is cumulative as well. doing that essay at 4 am last night confident I would find a way to kill If you warm up some pizza (food - when you have had three weeks to a few hours. 4) and flick on The Simpsons (TV- do it. You nowknow it wasn't your However, there are certainly -6), you have yourself a 10, my fault. Blame it on the power of the specific activities that have the friend. And if you are on MSN procrastinatory pull. I am sorry for ability to divert my attention from (MSN - 10) for an hour when your the low quality of this column. It work under any circumstances. friend messages and convinces was a real last-minute job. One of these activities is watching you to skip reading because that NFL football. Simply put, football hot girl from psych may be at the [email protected] is the devil. I don't do any work all 20,000 JOBS! day Friday and all day Saturday. This free information session mil cover topics of interest to "Don't worry; I've got all of anyone considering teaching English overseas. It will answer Sunday!" I say Inexplicably, I neg- questions regarding employment opportunities abroad such as: lect to remember that there are approximately 85 televised foot- « What Is Teaching Abroad Like ball games on Sunday. To be hon- • Where Are The Job Opportunities

• est, I don't even like watching foot- When Is Peak Hiring Season • An ESL Teaching Job Overseas ball games that much. I love foot- How Can I Secure • Earn ball but the games drone on forev- How Much Will I • What Is A Working Visa And How Do I Get One er. Still, these games keep me • How Much Experience Do I Need hooked for three full hours. » When And Where Should I Sign A Contract How does football keep me so « Do i Need A TESU/TESOL Certificate It me until I entranced? baffled • What Skills Should I Learn To Become A Better ESL Teacher was watching NFL highlights on The Score for the third time in an hour and I had an epiphany, more 7:oopm Wednesday, Nov. 9 vivid than a Kelly Kapowski dream. Football has a magnetic attraction, Rm 4-205, Alvin Woods Building a procrastinatory pull, if you will Wilfrid Laurier University (and yes, I made this term up). I believe then, that a new scale is in order. I have saved you some time and created it for you. I call it the Scale of Procrastinatory Pull. It

AskWLUSU President Dan Robert anything you want! Well, not just anything. As part of Dan Robert's election platform last year, he wanted jOi The Cord to interview him on a regular basis to hold himself and WLUSU accountable flp/? to you, the students. Go to cordweekly.com and click on the 'Ask Dan Robert a Question' banner at the top of the homepage. Feel free to ask whatever you want, ||. v " HBHHpr wk JMI but keep in mind we'll only ask him the most relevant, intriguing and appropriate icflll questions. The interview will be published in next week's edition of The Cord.

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Across: Down:

1. Chunk of grass that goes with 2. "I owe you" golfball 3. A small cavity in a rock or vein 5. Inner legs 4. Open Document Architecture 8. A musical instrument of north- 5. Someone who substitutes tem- ern Africa and southwest Asia porarily for another member of resembling a lute the same profession 9. The of March 6. Plural of 13 across 13. Like a paddle, but with a fixed 7. North of Iraq pivot 10. To be able to do or endure 14. Sweet crystals 11. Nobleperson 16. Male goat 12.What Hulk do 17. Like a fad or a trend 14. Sail the seven s 19. Like opus, but plural 15. Like a bar or wand 21. Genus of widely distributed 18. In the Bible, a son of Jacob and lichens Leah and the forebear of one of 23. Arranged fights between indi- the tribes of Israel viduals 20. To steal, often in a violation of 24. Presenting the substance in a trust condensed form 22. Surf , snow , skate 27. Bill & Ted catchword 25. What the tide did 31. Keyed string instrument 26. What bees make 34. A small light pancake [ask a 28. A rounded earthenware pot or Russian friend] jar 35. Group of unified workers 29. What a present is 36. What Legolas is 30. Sister slang 37. Process of carefully looking 31. Found in zits through particulate matter 32. An assistant 41. Date that you have to bring 33. Comes in pro and proper vari- your library books back eties 42. Android from Star Trek 38. Organ , Social , 43. Old French coin Commun 44. To prevent 39. Like a dandy 45. Not Full 40. Tutankhamen

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Film Reviews Cage shines on a rainy day Oscar-winner plays a dour weatherman in the year's funniest drama. Or is it a sad comedy?

him on the street, he is anything but. The WeatherMan draws a fine line between drama and comedy, and skilfully jumps it throughout the film like a child performing a complicated jump-rope routine. Nicolas Cage's face, which is one of the most expressive in contem- porary cinema, anchors the entire film in arealism that a more unre- alistically handsome actor could DRU JEFFRIES not achieve. It's also one of his Film Critic more subdued performances. He "If you don't want your father to still lets the emotional fireworks think you're a silly fuck", David fly, but it isn't forced. David Lynch Spritz (Nicolas Cage) laments, once compared Cage's style of act- "don't slap other men with your ing to jazz music; he hits all the gloves. 'Cause that's what he's right notes, and not always the going to think. Unless you're a ones that are expected. 19th century nobleman. Which Unexpected also, considering I'm not." that the film is being marketed as a

This line, with Cage's wry deliv- comedy, is the seriousness of Contributed Photo ery, summarizes The Weather some of the film's themes. I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE - Nick Cage perfects his trademark melancholy Weather Man expression. Man. Spritz is overly concerned Adolescent sexuality, for one. with what people think of him, Spritz's sex life is briefly and hilar- accomplishment" to move into a Cage's character could be con- during The Weather Man than I did who he is and what he isn't. What iously touched upon, but his chil- higher salary bracket at the sidered by some to be a jerk, but in Wedding Crashers and The he isn't is a good father, though not dren are more sexualized than he expense of personal happiness it's more complicated than that. Forty-Year-Old Virgin combined. for lack of trying. Instead, he real- is. His overweight daughter is sex- and fulfillment. It's a dream come He's not the two-dimensional It's not the same kind ofhumour- ly is a depressed, "silly fuck" ually harassed at school (though true to try as hard as you can to be image on the TV weather report; it's closer to Punch-Drunk Love weatherman. she hasn't the terminology to be a good father only to have your David Spritz is a real person that funny—but it works. I knew that The film is either the funniest aware of it) and his son is practi- children still despise you. It's a gift suffers from depression and anxi- Nicolas Cage had this kind of film drama of the year or the saddest cally molested by his male rehab to have your celebrity turn on you ety. He is the symptom; the disease in him, but who knew that director comedy, and I'm not sure which. counsellor. in the form of flying McDonald's is contemporary American society. Gore Verbinski [The Ring, Pirates When Spritz splashes water on his In the film, the illusion of the pies and Big Gulps. This is the If this doesn't sound funny, it's of the Caribbean) did? face, he's refreshed; his voice-over American Dream is made cynical- America that Spritz says hello to because it isn't. But the film is. I tells us so. When a milkshake hits ly real. It's a "great American every morning. laughed harder and more often The Fog brings Elizabethtown fails to Bloom worse weather

DRU JEFFRIES Film Critic

Contributed Photo Can you imagine what would hap- pen if weather systems suddenly Maguire template: a conflicted him taking a road trip with his Conversely, Kirsten Dunst plays became sentient? man fights the personal demons father's ashes. her character in an over-the-top After all of the shit that we've ofhis failures and insecurity, while While Elizabethtown features manner that is as entertaining as it collectively been pulling on envi- managing to catch the eye of a many of the same elements that is unconvincing. Both actors are Mother Nature, I can picture neurotic-yet-lovable blonde made Jerry Maguire a success, talented, but together their chem- ronmental disaster after disaster, woman who compels him to Cameron Crowe's latest project istry is a clumsy fit. resulting in death on a massive embark on a journey of self-dis- fails to reach the same level. The The saving grace of scale. covery. All the while it's set to a movie is sluggish, diluted and Elizabethtoum is the music, which What The Fog offers is decidedly pretty damn good soundtrack. missing a lot of the colour and is an impressive mix of American more tame. Drew Baylor (Bloom) is a dis- heart that Crowe usually injects heartland classics pilfered from In the film, Tom Welling ADRIAN MA graced shoe designer whose blun- (Say Anything, Almost Famous). Crowe's record collection. (Smallville) and Maggie Grace (.Lost) worth News Editor der costs him his job, girlfriend Despite Orlando Bloom's rising- Drawing upon a diverse set of prove they're not and enthusiasm for life. He is star status and a solid cast includ- artists, from iconic rockers Tom casting in anything other than TV. Elizabethtown is named after a plagued by even more tragedy ing Susan Sarandon and Alec Petty and Lindsay Buckingham to This is what The Day After have if it small back-road place in the coun- when he finds out his father has Baldwin, the picture suffers from a current alt-country troubadour Tomorrow would been a political agenda. In try, somewhere away from the big suddenly died. lack of focus and fails to carry any Ryan Adams, the soundtrack con- didn't have other words, nothing. city where everything seems to On his way to Elizabethtown to real weight. veys the bittersweet love/hate The Fog uses tired horror cliches operate at an easy pace. collect his father's body and settle Bloom, in his first substantial relationships that everyone has as if they were the Ten As a traveler, you're intrigued by family affairs, he meets Claire role that doesn't have him riding a with their family, home and histo- the pointless the possibility of finding unique- (played with manic energy by horse or firing arrows at goblins, ry Commandments; scene, the cheap scares, the ness in the locale, but despite the Kirsten Dunst), a flight attendant gives an admirable effort but pro- Ultimately, Elizabethtown is a sex drunken minister, the crazy old presence of different scenery and who tries to help Baylor cope with duces mediocre results. While his movie with ambitions that out- a beard and the heroine a few quirky characters, it still has the crushing weight of his self- character is understandably in a strip the abilities of the filmmak- guy with the mystery the same dynamic as every other doubt and regret. He begins to shell-shocked haze of grief, he ers and actors. It's a story about that figures out coincidence after coinci- small, backwater town. Not a very emerge from his self-protective comes off as dopey, ineffectual mortality, love and family that through It's all here, and none of it is exciting prospect. state as he connects with his and rather bland. When his emo- tries valiantly to be life affirming, dence. And neither is Elizabethtown. father's enormous, herd-like tions finally do surface, the tears but ends up as a meandering tale the least bit frightening. The story is built on the Jerry extended family, culminating with seem more than a little forced. that doesn't satisfy. Cord Weekly & The Arts Entertainment WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 ￿,25 Celine Dion is Satan: Opeth

DARRYL CREMASCO can be applied to metal, Opeth is Cord Arts & Entertainment unquestionably the most 'Porno' band out there. Mikael Akerfeldt, in his character- Drawing from influences as istically calm disposition, con- early as Pink Floyd and Led cluded his list of favorite Canadian Zeppelin, Opeth brings the best musicians with Celine Dion, get- elements of melodic death metal ting a unanimous boo from the and combines them with a smor- crowd. gasbord of atmospheric song writ- "In fact," continued Opeth's ing. Structure and consistency are front-man, "this next song is by entirely washed away with every her. It's about Satan," leading into album this mega-progressive another wicked tune by the pro- band releases. gressive death metal ensemble. Aside from a few traditionally Just in time for Halloween, last intense death metal moments Friday's double bill at the Opera present on both ends of the track House featuring Nevermore and list, Opeth's newest album is Opeth was totally evil. Both extremely meditative, exploring netherworldy bands punched out fascinating Eastern-sounding material from two albums ambiances. The "Bjork of the released last July. metal world" had no trouble keep- This Godless Endeavor by ing the crowd's attention through Nevermore features the band at its ten-minute-plus works, and production apex, far outstripping played a much-desired double the disappointing release of encore. By the end of the night, Enemies of Realit}'. Opeth's Ghost lighter fuel wasrunning low. Contributed Photo Reveries has shown yet again why Perhaps the most enticing BY THE BEARD OF ZEUS - Mikael Akerfeldt of Opeth came on for a double-encore during last week's show in Toronto, their fantastic new album GhostReveries and Celine Dion the the Swedish quintet is so well aspect of Opeth's live set is Aker- showcasing insulting in process. received by audiences from "all feldt's stage presence. Not only walks of death." does he have the ability to sing Nevermore put on a stellar show extraordinarily well in both clean to get things started. Frontman and growling vocal styles, but his Warrel Dane viciously consumed extremely bland, yet hilarious per- Video Game Review the microphone as guitars sliced sonality made it a lot of fun for the through the sonic bombardment crowd. with inhumanly fast shredding He was even kind enough to riffs, all the while maintaining the give the audience a lecture on melodic sweetness that separates proper death metal vocal tech- Ultimate Spider-man game Nevermore from traditional death nique, which we had multiple metal groups. opportunities to hone throughout Opeth's two-hour line up was the evening. characterized by slower and qui- a webslinging success eter material. If postmodernism Rollins rants, raves

ALEX HAYTER Arts & Entertainment Editor

Ah, Spider-man. So obviously the JAY GUITARD response out of the university best superhero ever. He can't fly, Cord Arts & Entertainment crowd when he mentioned Prime doesn't use weapons and, in com- Minister Paul Martin's cool parison to most heroes, he's not Although he didn't make it to demeanor in his portrayal on particularly strong. Waterloo this year, and evening American media, as a man capa- So why is Spider-man one of the with Henry Rollins is always worth ble of speaking two languages world's most popular comic book the drive to Toronto. while Bush struggles with just one. characters, and why are new For the uninitiated, Rollins Thankfully, he didn't spend the Spider-man video games coming Contributed Graphic started off as a singer for punk leg- entire show talking about politics, out in masses each year? Why do I MASKED MARAUDER - This is how Super-heroes use the washroom ends Black Flag. When they broke and moved to more entertaining love Spider-man so much? up in 1987, he started issuing storytelling for most of the It's because the web-slinger's advanced strength and superpow- and dive acrobatically through releases with his own Rollins remaining time. Listening to radioactive formula works flaw- ers. skyscrapers and knock out villains Band, a hard-rock outfit that is still Rollins share his stories always lessly. It's easy to identify with a While fans of the original with jumps and combo attacks. technically active. Often hailed as provides a comically candid image bullied teenager whose salvation Spider-man comics may be disap- Venom, however, doesn't travel an alternative guru in the enter- of the life of a professional rock comes from being turned into a pointed with this radically new with webbing; he leaps over build- tainment media, Rollins was a musician, but with almost all of wall-crawling mutant master- plot-line, readers of the Ultimate ings in huge bounds, and makes prominent pop culture icon in the the glamour removed. piece. comic book will be satisfied at how use of different -style 90s as when he played bit parts in As he doesn't drink or do drugs Ultimate Spider-man carries close the game sticks to its adapta- moves during combat. movies and occasionally VJed on and spends most of his personal out this fantasy to a tee. The game tion. Although exploring the city and MTV. time in seclusion, the stories gen- casts you as Peter Parker at age 15, Like in Activision's Spider-man the game's presentation provides Those familiar with his spoken erallyrevolve around what he does with a significantly altered story- 2, the game is set in New York, good times for all, combat is word performances would have to keep himself occupied between line and characters from the origi- albeit rendered in a much more where the game is lacking. The an idea of what to expect, and tours and performances. nal comic book/cartoon. clunky, comic book style, which strategy for fighting every boss is Rollins delivered. Those interested in hearing Thankfully, Ultimate has nothing works surprisingly well. repetitive; run away, attack, run The show started offwith gener- Henry Rollins as a spoken word to do with the Tobey Maguire Characters and cars are rendered away, repeat. al soapboxing, and it was soon evi- performer would be advised to movies and takes its own slant on using cell-shading technology, Despite these annoyances, dent that Rollins is not a George check out his 1998 double-disc the world ofMarvel comics. giving the awe-inspiring impres- Ultimate is still a very fun game. Bu sh supporter. Although the release Think Tank. Recorded in Eddie Brock (better known as sion that they are jumping right off While it won't win any awards for majority of the topics covered at two separate shows, it serves as a Venom) makes a welcome appear- of Stan Lee's pages. It looks great. being a good fighting game, noth- this point in the show were current great entry point into what one ance in the game as Peter's child- The contrasted gameplay ing beats slipping on your nylon- American issues, Rollins made an would expect at an event, as it has hood friend. The two discover a between using Spider-man and suit and going for a quick swing Wort to cater to the Canadian a good mix of political ranting and costume engineered by their par- Venom adds a unique twist to the around the Big Apple between au dience. He got a pretty good effective storytelling. ents which gives the wearer game. As Spider-man, you twist study breaks. & |The 26 > WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2005 Arts Entertainment Cord Weekly] Flowin' prose: rap's best lyricists

the World Turns" and "Yellow Brick losses I account the victory" Road", it is easy to see why

Eminem is referred to as the - "The Blast" "Great White Hope" by the likes of Reflection Eternal (2000) LEO YU Snoop Dogg. Hip Hop Correspondent Best Lyrical Song: Canibus In the rap game, there is a con- "8 Mile" The hip-hop world was blessed stant debate whether producers or 8 Mile Soundtrack (2002) with a gifted lyricist back in 1974, artists run hip hop. when Germaine Williams (com- The lyricism of modern main- Best Lines: "My mother did drugs monly known as Canibus) was stream rappers is sorely lacking, as - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed/ born in Jamaica. they choose to rely on catchy the baby came out disfigured, liga- Canibus had become an aggres- hooks and flowery production to ments indeed/ it was a seed who sive battle emcee with an interest- sell their music. would grow up just as crazy as ing mixture of unmatched book- Gone are the days of rappers she/ don't dare to make fun of that smarts and street-smarts. earning respect through cutting- baby cause that baby was me." He remains one of the few rap- edge lyricism. pers these days that would require

So, in order to bring the spot- - "Criminal" you to use to a dictionary when lis- light back to where it belongs, I've The Marshall Mathers LP (2000) tening to his lyrics. composed a list of the five of the t best hip hop lyricists. It was based Best Lyrical Song: on the artist's wordplay, rhyme Nas "Poet Laureate II" pattern and song structure. The Born Nasir Jones, Nas grew up in artists are placed in no particular the Queensbridge Houses in Best Lines: "If I had half as many order. Brooklyn, where his experiences bars of gold/ as I had of lyrics with everyday struggles and a vio- when I flowed/ I'd be the richest lent environment are well-docu- man on the globe." Big L mented in his songs. Notorious for his ferocious Not only has Nas mastered the - "Doomsday News" rhymes, smart lyrics, and lethal art of detailing events with intri- 2000 B.C. (2000) metaphors Big L, was truly one of cate rhymes, he has also created t, Harlem's finest. Big L's lyrical extraordinary concept songs. y. strength lies in his ability to come With all the qualities of a mas- Fill TIE ACAIEMY WINNIKE DIRfcCTDR IF "AMERICAN IIAUIY" up with humourous, well-crafted terful lyricist, it isn't hard to tell AWfl|JP- punch lines and skillfully executed why his 1994 debut album, internal rhymes. Illmatic, is considered a classic by Unfortunately, Big L was brutal- many hip hop critics. ly murdered, shot seven times in the head and chest on February Best Lyrical Song: 15, 1999. "The World Is Yours"

Best Lyrical Song: Best Line: "I never sleep, cause "Let 'Em Have It L" sleep is the cousin of death"

Best Lines: "What's this mother- - "NY. State of Mind" fuckin' rap game without L? / Yo, Illmatic (1994) that's like jewels without ice/ that's like china without rice/or the Holy Bible without Christ/ or the Bulls Talib Kweli without Mike/ or crackheads with- Born and raised in Brooklyn, Kweli out pipes/ The Village without was the eldest of two sons born to dykes/ or hockey games without college professors. fights" Renowned for his inspirational -"The Big Picture (Intro)" rhymes and use of similes and The Big Picture (2000) metaphors, his lyrical prowess was on full display on his 2000' debut album with DJ Hi-Tek, Reflection Eminem Eternal. Marshall Mathers needs no intro- Considered a poet, philosopher duction. and motivator by many, Talib The former battle rapper has Kweli is without a doubt one ofthe successfully transferred his hilari- greatestlyricist of our time. ous lyrics and complex internal rhymes to songwriting, as he's dis- Best Lyrical Song: played his ability to tell a story "Move Somethin"' with vivid imagery. With songs like "Stan", "8 Mile", "Lose Yourself", "As Best Line: "Even when we suffer RHYYIIVNTQ

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