Copyright, 19 18, 19 19 , by

FREDERI CK A STO K E S COMPAN . Y

All right" reserved SANTA BAR BARA

DEDICATION

To a million Private Bills wh o have n b sudde ly learnt to call a coat a lo use . n thin s Taki g g as they find them .

Vaguely understanding . Caring less . f Grumbling by custom . Cheer ul by na ture . Ever anxious to be where they e are not . Ever anxious to be somewher else when they get there . Without th e thought o f sacrifice . Who have left

" h o flag waving to those at home . W a serve as matter o f cours e .

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

Mable Frontirpiece 3 ACINO PAGE Th e only place there flat is on the m ap 2 ” Yo u can read em to your gran c hildre n 5 Y o u walk a post but there aint no post 6 ” I just found it in my bakin can 9 ” I dont like any sargeant 12 fo f l t he I dont care much r horses, they ee s sam e w ay about me Max Gluco s what lives o n the next cot ” Smith are yo u lafli n at . me " ” One day it s our teeth Remember me to your mother ” No t the kind your father has I wear th em every night ov er my un1form I been made an officer ” So m e b o die d se t a trunk o n the t urky Built like the leg o f a sailurs trow sers You p aint a horse black and white stripes ” I spent mine doin Kitchen police I wi sh that hired girl could come down A croq uette is a French society woman ” I sat n ext to a Colonels w ife Me n hate to be w atched While they are fre e zm I h ad a re put ashun fo r a devil with the wim e n LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

It seemed to dep res them awful If I catch one o f those ailin enemies windin up . your v 1c t ro la Stuck my head out o f the blankets When I looked in the tin mirror I thought I w as ” st arv m They come round an w atch yo u eat it ” Army food alw ays runs He smokes cigarets something aw ful ” I poured some oil out o f h is lam p ” I even got m ud in m y hai r Th e w ater com es through on m e Th e last time I w ill take m y p e n i n hand fo r ” o u y . It wont be no use runin to the door I3ill We can fire all w e w ant Without hittin nothin ” I sit on a hill all day A bunch lyin under the trees ” M w w f y, hat an a ul bore Th e fello w ith the lon g hair He thinks there so s ad that he alm ost cries ” T e t w f fat o f s hey g a ul , cour e They come an d ge t our dirty w ash It aint as dangerous as I tho ught An gus lik es it c ause he can sit dow n in 1t ” If the t o p sargent dont rem em ber Sh e alw ays carries a k id under h e r arm I dont e at nothin outside o f meal hours exc e p t in a few p ies I couldnt se e a thing except t h e side of t h e hill LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 1X

He outran the other fello I sat next to a lady What didnt seem to have ” much on but a lot o f j ew els Th e mini ster has t w o daughters— both girls They gave us coffe e i n e gg cups Th e first sargent wouldnt let m e Th e only thing they do to the rain is to strain it I j ust found your pic t ur at the b ottom o f my barrack bag ” I dont seem to need as much food as I used to ” Jo e Loom is Th e tailor must have been a boiler m aker once Marched till m y p ack gained a hundred an ” fifty pounds E verybody h ad a beard on both sides o fhis face ” B o ff t h e m w it h b i b d eat the buttons , a g oar E veryone tuck s there nap kins under there chins They j ust ish ue d us overseers caps an rapped

Will have to lean them up age nst something ” Tyin 1t under your chin lik e a b ib M k Wh o zis C a t in s d i e , the p or erly Iv e found the first real use fo r my tin derby Another boiler blew up right in front o f us L e m Wattles what never h ad his name in the ” p aper . Were livin right up in the trenches no w It doesnt look as if 1t h ad ever ex plo ded There w as the L o o t e n ant b o o st in the Major out ” o f the trench His helmet looked like a tin sunbonnet X LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

I stuck my head around the b ush Yo u ought to have seen those tw o L o o t en ant s come down Do yo u happen to have any lemonade " Tried to mak e a blanket roll 1n six inche s o f m ud ” I d All o 18 scratch, scratch, scratch The people here wear wooden shoes an have no shapes A German b e d 1s like a loaf o f bread thats rose to much ” They take o ff there hats to us ' Levels it o ff with a piece o f b re ad i d u ” They l ne us all p . That little snub nosed thing across t h e street B S ” Im goin t o b e j ust plain Mr. ill mith D ere Mable

L o v e L e tte rs o f a R o o kie

D e re Mab le

o n I guess you thought I was dead . Y ull ever kn ow how near yo u was to right . We got th e

I e . tents up at last , though , so got a minit to rit I r guess they choose these camps by mail orde . e The only place there flat is on the map . Wher o ur tents is would make a good place for a Rocky i Mo unt n goat if he didnt break his neck . The first day the C ap tin came o ut an says Pitch ” o your tents here . Then he went to look f r some ne o quick before anyone could a sk him h o w . I I C a tin I wish was a p . guess he thought we

' " o w as Al ine C ase rs. E h u o p h , Mable But y pr b

ably dont know what those are . th e e Honest , M able , if Id put in work I don last week o n the Panamah C anal it would have been workin long before it was . Of course there was a lot o f fello s there with me but it seemed like all they did was to stand round and hand me shovels when I wore em out . 2 DER E MABLE

Ca tin a re sh e at e s m e Th The p pp though . e o ther day he watched me work awhile and then “ ” he says Smith . He calls me Smith now . We o t I I g very friendly since been nice to him . noticed none of the other fe llo s had much to say o f . I to him felt kind sorry for him . Hes a Ca tin human bein even if he is a p , Mable . So eve ry time I saw him I used to stop him and talk D to him . emocratic . Thats me all over, Mable . “ Smith” he says “ If they was all like you round h e h ere war would be hell , no joke . By which r meant that we would make it hot fo the Boshes . i fe e l n . I been awful sorry for you , Mable What with missim me and your fathers liver go n e back on him again things must have been awful o lonesome for y u. It isnt as if you was a girl ll what had a lot o f fe o s hangin round all the time . t Not hat you couldnt have em , Mable , but you dont an theres no use makin no bones about it . If it hadnt been for me I guess things would have been pretty stupid though I dont begrudge you

h o . a sent . You know w I am with my money I E h " guess you ought to anyway . , Mable Never talk o f money matters in co nnexun with a w o man . Thats me all over . N o w I got started an found a fo untin pen an the givin away paper like it doe s Im goin to rite you regula r. They say th ere “ TH E ” ONLY PLACE THERE FLAT is ON TH E MAP ” y ou can READ E M TO YOUR su m m ari ze LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 5

o goin to charge three sents f r a letter pretty soon .

That aint goin to stop me though , Mable . There o r th e aint no p ower in heavin earth , as poets

sa o u M . y, as can come between y and me , able You mite send a few three sent stamps when you

rite . That is if your fathers able to work yet .

I . And willin , should add Of course it aint nothin to me but Id keep these letters what you get from me as a record of the ar o n w . Some day y u can read em to your gra “ children an say Your G ran fath e r Bill did all ” M " t . I hese things Aint the worst , able Serious t hough I h av nt found noone so far what h as thought O f doin this excep t the newspapers . I guess Ill get a lot O f insid e stuff that theyll never

se e SO th e o ne o f . . this may be only its kind m e o But it doesnt matter to what y u do with them ,

Mable . Later Ill tell you all about everyt hing but I guess yo u wont understand much cause its teck e lo nitt e nickle . Lots Of the f l s are gettin d things an ff D d candy and stu right along . ont pay no att enshun t to that , though , or ake it for a hint

cause it aint . I just say it as matter Of rekord .

Independent if nothin . Thats me all over . Yours till the wa r ends

Bill. D e re Mab le

Having nothin bette r to do I take up my pen to rite . far We have been here now three weeks . As as I am concerned I am all ready to go . I told Ca ti the p n that I was ready any time . He said yes , but that wed have to wait for the slow ones cause they was all goin together . I says was I o to go ut to drill with the rest . He said yes more fo r the example than anything else . Its kind Of maddening to be hangin round here when I might be over there h elpin the Sammies put a st op to this thing .

In the mean time I been doin guard duty . Seems like I been doin it every night but I know what there up against and I dont say nothin . Guard duty is something like exte mp e raneus s e ak in p . You got to know everything your goin

t e ck nickle . to say before you sta rt . Its very For instance you walk a post but there aint no post . An you mount guard but you dont really mount nothin . An yo u turn Out the guard but you dont

o ut . really turn em Out . They come them selves Just the other night I was walkin along thinkin of 6 YOU WALK A POST BUT THERE AINT NO POST ” 1 J UST FOUND IT IN MY BAKIN CAN l o DER E MABLE

h when e sails . I was sayin the othe r day that i f the fe llo s at Washington ever get onto this theyll issuin so le le s sh irtle s le be shoes and s v e s . N O Its gettin awful cold . wonder this is a

. I healthy place All the germs is froze . guess t here idea Of the h arde n in p ro ce s is t o freeze a ff Ca tin fello sti . The p said the other day we w as o f traini I gettin in tents n. Thats all right but d kind of like to see those steam heated b arrak s. Youve red about those fello s that g o swimmin in I o ur sh o ue r the ice in winter . guess thed like

t . sa ba hs They y Cleanliness is next to Godliness , lMab l s e I sa its t . . y nex to impos ible

I started this letter almost a weak ago . I just found it in my bakin can . They call it a bakin o hm I can but its too small to bake n t . keep my h e o . T soap in it . I g t som e news for you regi C a tin m e ment is to be dismantled . The p called over this m o rnin and asked me where Id like to b e transferred . I said home i f it was the same to

O . him . S there goin to send me to the a rtillery This is a very dangerou s and useful limb Of th e

. I . e servus , Mable dont kno my address Just writ m e care o f the General . fil I got the red mu e r that your mother sent m e . G ive her my love just the same

yours relentlessly, B ill. D e re Mable

I h av nt rote for some time I had such sore feet lately . When they broke up our regiment and sent me over to the a rtillery I thought I was goin to quit usin my feet . That was just another

ro o mo r. ff Thanks for the box o f stu you sent me . I guess the brakeman must have used it fo r a chair t all the way . It was pret y well baled but that dont matter . And thanks for the fudge too . That

" . was fudge wasnt it , Mable And the sox They fo r o m ethin dont fit but I can use t hem s . A good soldier never throws nothin away . An thank your h mother for the half pair o f gloves s e sent me . I M put them away . aybe sometime shell get a h I chance to nit the other alf . Or if ever get all ff r my fingers shot O theyll come in ve y handy . ff The artillerys a little di erent from the infantry.

They make us work harder . At least theres more o n k e le Work the s du . I know now what they mean “ when they say that the a rtillerys active on th e ” western front . They got a drill over here called the standin gun m i le a i drill . The names s d n . I guess it w as in

I I 12 DER E MABLE

ak ro b at k v ented by a troop Of Jap s. They ma e o it n y u get up and s on the g u . Before you can get settled com fortable they make you get down again . It looks like they didnt know just what they did want you to do .

I dont like the sargent . I dont like any sar ne gent but this o particular . The first day o ut “ ” h e kept sayin Prepare to mount and then

Mount . Finally I went up to him and told h im that as far as I was concerned he could cut that stuff for I was always prepared to do what I was told even though it was the middle O f the night . I He said , Fine , then was p robably prepa red to scrub pans all day Sunday .

I dont care much for horses . I think they o f feels the same way about me . Most them are so big that the only thing there good for is the

V iew Of the camp you g et when you climb up .

They are what they call hors de combat in French .

My h orse died the other day . I guess it wasnt ff much e ort for him . I f it had been he wouldnt have done it . They got a book they call D rill R egulations as c ensib le Field and Light . Thats about as it is Fo r sa all the way through . instance they y that when the command for action is given o ne man jumps fo r the wheel and another springs fo r the trail an another leaps for the muzzl e . I guess “ ” 1 DONT LIKE ANY SARGEANT “ ” x DO T A M FOR O S S THEY F LS TH E SAME WAY ABO T ME N C RE UCH H R E , EE U LOVE LETTERS OF A RO OKIE 15 the fello that rote the regulations thought we was a bunch o f grass hoppers . Well I got to quit now an rite a bunch Of other fo girls . Thanks again r the box although it was so busted that it wasnt much good but that dont matter. o u Yours till y here otherwise ,

Bill. D e re Mable

ank in Im s Todays T h sgiv . thankful thing aint no worse though Max Gluc o s what lives o n th e an next cot says they couldnt be . Cheery bright t o the last . Thats me all over , Mable . Every man gets at e e n Ounce s Of Turky o n Th ank s i in v . . sa r g All to himself, Mable The gent says the co mm ite e o n Hays and Bean s at Im Washington decides that . Mines inside . most to full fo r exp re shun as the poets say. We had a rk e ssin ramb . tu dr c ur great dinner Soup an y, , y o ne sause an pie an smashed potatoes . All in I th e fe llo s plate . wish you could have heard how I no th e enj oyed it Mable . know w why they call turk ys gobblers . Th ank s i in fellO to g v is a holiday . All a has do o n a holiday in the artillery is to feed the horse s an give em a drink an smooth em o ut an take em for a walk an' then feed em an smooth em o ut

. o an feed em an give em a drink . It makes a fell feel like givin back a dollar out Of his pay at th e o f t h e end month .

o f e . The horses has the softest anyon , Mable They dont even have t o get up fo r bre akfast in 16

“ ” SMITH ARE YOU LAFFIN AT ME " LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 19

in the morning. We bring it to em a little bag

. o I filled with cerc ul Y u tie this on there face . guess they aint never been fed before th e war o se e o u broke ut . When they y comin they start i n il r s jump n round like st arv i sa u s. I dont gues " ce r l I et s a they like eu . wouldn t her three time I so m eth in ff day . thought theyd give em di erent Th a s i i s nk g v n but no t a chance . There alway i hopin it ull b e so m e th n else I guess . When they see the same O ld thing they get sore and try t o o n step your feet . The sargents stand way behind an say GO o n ” in . They wont hurt you . An then when they n Y o u land o your corn theysay Thats to bad . ” o didnt d it right . I dont like sargents any better

than horses . An I dont kno as Im going t o like the Captin I lafiin much better ether . The other day got

I lafiin . while was standin in line . Just to myself No t disturb in n C a tin obody . The p turns round “ ” an says Smith are you laffin at me " I says “ no sir an he says Well what else was there t o ff "” f ll I " la at Thats the kind O a fe O he is . didn t

o r . sass him back nothin , Mable Just looked at

him an made him feel cheap . I saw him again in t h e f . I s a ternoon Course didnt salute . He say “ What do yo u mean by not salutin I told h im t o I I no I h ught he was mad . m glad m t his wife , D R M ,20 E E ABLE

Y o e llO Mable . u never know how to tak a fe like

that . If I hadnt knowed they needed me Id have given n o ise o n D t e him two weaks t the spot . u y befor l . s m e p easure though That all over . o h We took the guns ut to drill t e other day. C a tin firin The p was talkin about indirect . Thats o the way he is . Nothin straight forward ab ut i . I n him asked the sargent about it . He said direct fi rim was where you shot at one thing an

aimed at another . I hate to butt in M able but it

didnt seem right . I says I seen the Indien girl in t h e c ircu s shoot the spots Out o f a card over her shoulder but wouldnt it be more ce nsib le to cut o ut the trick stuff till we wa s more used to the

thing . You cant argue with sargents , though .

D in c ay a fter tomorrows sp e shun . They do it Im f every Saturday . Thats another thing thank ul

o ne . for . Theres only Saturday a weak We pull th e everything out an pile it on o ur cots . Then C a i its p t n an the sargent comes in . Every time “ t h e s same . He says That very dirty Smith “ o t w heres you r other Shirt . An I say I aint g ” o f none , sir . An he says Sargent make a note ” An so m e thin that . then the sargent rites in a

little book . Next time just the same . The Cap tin says wheres my shirt an the sargent makes a so m e thin th e note . I guess theres in drill regula LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 2 1

tions what make s him say that cause I aint got no other shirt yet . m Well Mable I gettin hungry again no w. Guess

Ill have to stop an buy a couple O f pies . We dont

get nothin to eat for an hour yet . t th e yours ill the ice cracks in e pal , B ill.

. I t . P S . had to borrow a stamp for this le ter I went down town yesterday an spent my last sent

o n . a money belt Its a good one though . D e re Mab le

R N O I ainin today . drill SO m going to rite

. I I you If dont get no exercise go all to pieces . Im m r C back fro the a tillery into the infantry . ap I ff nni tin an had di erent ideas about ru n things.

us t o . One Of had leave Hed been there longest .

I . . s left Hot headed That me all over . b n Were doin ay ut drill now . I cant say nothin

. n o t im e ns about it Its for w ears . We have one place where we hit the Hun in the no se an rip all the de co rashuns Offen his uniform all in o ne stroke . Then t heres another where yo u give him a Shave an a round hair cut an end by knocking his hat i e rzu over his eyes . Then the w p p come over with a lo t of burns an do the dirty work . I an the rest of the fellO S go ahead an take another trench .

I h av nt been able to find out yet where we take it . fellO Its all worked o ut cie ntifick . The who rinci ul doped it o ut had some bean . The p p of the thing is t o get the other fello an not let him get th sk eme you . I f e allys had doped out some e like t his the war would have been over now . Ther s us wouldnt have been no Huns left . It t ake U E h " ncle Sammies . Mable 22 ” ONE DAY ITS OUR TEETH ” O ”REMEMBER ME TO YOUR M THER

26 DE RE MABLE morning as usual an the cook said You seem to ” ff R sto in t o like co ee . ight away without pp think “ o r nothin I says back Yes thats the reason Im ” willin to drink SO much hot water to get some . E h " , Mable Went to a dance the other night and met some ff I all . swell girls . I made em la I says guess I in i gors the st nk s Of a soldier all right . The minit

I smell powder Im right o n my tows .

I havent been very well lately . I guess Ill cut a itite fo r th e o ut e atin at meals . It spoils my pp o f I to rest the day . kno youll be glad kno b R t o my feet aint u rtin so much . emember me th e hire d girl and your mother . o t Y urs through the win er, Ch air Mab le

Thats French . I didnt expe ct you t o k no what it meant though . The are le arn in me n French now . I o ly had three lessons so far but o I can talk it pretty good . Y u know how quick I ff am at pickin up any kind of trick stu like that . The only difference between French and English is that there pretty near alike but th e French o dont pr nounce there words right . I se When u French words Ill underline them . o u e o f lan i e Thatll give y som idea the gug . When we get voila as the French say for ove r there itll come handy to be able to Sit down and o have a d sy dos with them poilus . ( That means c hew the rag in English . ) A poilus Mable is a French peasant girl an they say that they are very " No belle . ( w don t mispronounce things an get sore t Y o o ill you know . u pr nounce that like the bell e in push button . It means good lookers . ) Ther crazy about us fello s . They call us Sammies . They named one O f there rivers for us . You have heard e O f th e battle o f the Samme . But I dont suppos o y u have . They have b e en le arnin us a lo t about gas at 9 7 28 DERE MABLE

are k tacks lately . These not the ind your fathe r e are th e has . Thes more like the open places in 6 h av e nO O street o n t . Only in the a rmy when anything like this happens they give you a gas e a b mask . A gas mask is lik cracked ice ag with i h e ndo s . t w in it An in front they got a. cigaret I a holder . always heard how the French w s cig fe ends o t so ut th e aret . I guess it g bad they p in so holders s they could smoke during a gas attack . Im goin to put o n my mask an have my pictur s took en cabinet . That nothin to do with fur i n ture . , Mable Its the French for what its goin to look like when its done . The gas fello said the other day that gas w as p erfectly safe cause you could always tell when Y o u se e it was comin . could hear it escape or e it o r smell it . The only troubl was , he said , that when the gas sta rted the machine guns made SO much noise you couldnt hear it an it always came at night so s you couldnt se e it and when you smelled it it was most to late to bother anyhow . n i I been thi k n that over . Seems to me theres

a joker in the contract somewhere . Ask your father to read it over an see i f it sounds droit Ask ( thats French fo r right ) t o him . Better still . H e s Higgins the grocer to give it the once over . got a grand tete as t h e French say when they mea n b rains . “ ” NOT THE 1mm YOUR FATHER HAs ” I WEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT OVER MY UNIFORM LOVE LETTERS O F A ROOK IE 3 1

Its getting frapp aye r and frapp aye r down her e 80 ( meaning colder and colder) . It got cold that

n o i t I put o those s x that you n t e d me . I guess I t o wont any more though . I guess my fee are g ing to look like c o rde ro y the rest Of my life . Youll fe elin Y o u h o understand no hard I know . know w delicate my feet is an how I cant afford to p renne z a hazard with them .

Thank your mother for the flannel p aj amm as.

I wear them every night over my uniform . I got to quit now an read s o me pictur post cards that some girl s sent me . Good night o r r R e ( as the F ench say ob de Nuit) . D e re Mable

I h av nt rote for some t ime because I been

‘ — made an O fllCCI r a co rp e ral. I adm it I deserved "

d o r . it . I di n t apply for it nothin though They ju st come and told me . Bein co rp e ral means I dont have n ot hin more h e e to do with details . An at t same tim I got O f more de tails than ever . Thats a sort a joke Y o that us military men understand . u couldnt

t e ck nickle . g et it probably Mable . Its Yesterday being Sunday me an a couple O f othe r Officers borrowed a couple O f mules from t h e stable sargent an went for a ride . We saw a cabin that they said was a moonshiners b ut but it was broad so c d daylight you oul nt tell of course . s Its till cold . I wish theyd hurry up and issue those gas masks . Theyd come in handy these cold nights . The sargent told me that I was goin to Im do interior guard tonight . I guess lucky to o get ind or work this wether . o o o rs e You never saw such a place for r m . Thes are r o m h t army o o rs. They av n got nothin to do We with the kind your mother used to tak e in . here that were going next we ek an that were no t 3 3 .

” E SOME BODIED SE T A TRUN K ON THE TUR Y LOVE LETTERS O F A ROOKIE 3 5 goin at all but were goin to be used to guard th e

Chicago stock yards . Then we here that all the mounted men are goin to be dismounted an all the dismounted men are goin to be mounted . An that the rest o f us are goin to be made cooks . An we here that all non coms are goin to be abolished .

Its awful hard to tell what is goin on .

Th ank s iv in b o x I got your g two days ago . It ffi e was only ten days late . I guess the post O c must have made some mistake . Things is usually later than that . It was in good shape except that the insides had been squoze o ut o f the mince pie

so m e b o ie e t rk and d d s t a trunk on the u y. Of course I divided it up with my squad . Big hearted . Im f Thats me all over . aw ul popular with my ff men . They O en say they wish Id be made a so m e th in th e Major o r . My men ate up all ff stu . All I saved for my self was the white meat an half a mince pie . It certainly tastes good in h t e fi . eld . Of course we aint in nobodies field

e e h n . Thats a military xp r s u . I cant explain it t o I got quit now an post a guard . At the same time Ill post this letter to you . Thats a joke , I Mable . m sorry this letter cant be longer but as a man rises in the army he gets less an less time to hisself . Olive Oil . Yours faithlessly Mo n Ch e rry Mab le Thats the way th e French begin ther e love let c ters . Its perfe tly proper . I would have rote you s o oner but me an my fo untin pens been froze for a week . Washington will never know how lucky he was that he got assign ed to valley o Forge instead of here . It g t us out Of drill for

so m ethin . a couple of days . Thats I guess Id rather freeze than drill . Its awful when they make you do b o th though .

Two o f my men has gone home o n furlo s . Me e a bein co rp r l I took all there blankets . The men didnt like it but I got a squad Of men to look o ut

D fi . for an my first duty is to keep fit . uty rst SO Thats me all over . I got many blankets now that I got to put a book mark in the place I get in at night o r Id never find it again . We spent most o f o ur time t ryin to find some i i S b l . S b l thin to burn up in the y stoves A y stove , o Mable , is a piece f stove pipe built like the leg o f sailurs Sib l e a trowsers . Old man y must hav fi had a ne mind to think it o ut all by hisself . They sa y he got a patent on it . I guess that must have e b en a slack winter in Washington . The govern 3 6 “ L K ” B UILT I E THE L EO OF A SAILO RS TROWSERS ST S A T O S B AND W T RIPE YOU P IN A H R E LACK HI E LOVE LETTERS O F A ROOKIE 3 9 ment gives us o ur wood but I guess that th e m an who decided h o w much it was goin to give us ffi San it c had an O ce in the dw h Islands . I says the other day that if theyd dip o ur allowance in fus frus " Im wed at least have matches , eh M able Crack in the same Old Bill , Mable . j okes an keep in lafli n everybody when things is blackest . I was sco utin round for wood today an burned up those military hair brushes your mother gave me when we came away . I told her theyd come in mighty handy some day . They say a fello tried to take a sh o uer the other

f . day . Be ore he could get out it froze round him Like that fello in the bible who turned into a pill o ff o f salt . They had to break the whole thing O en the pipe with him inside it an stand it in front fi o f the stove . When it melted he nished his sh o e fi e e u r an said he felt n . Thats how hard wer gettin , Mable . I bought a book on Minor T ack ticks the other

day . Thats not about underaged tacks that live n I o o u . ts ticks as y might suppose , Mable the cie nce o f movin bodies O f men from o ne place to o f another . I thought it might tell of some way gettin the squad o ut o f bed in the morning but it ff am o doesnt . All the impo rtant stu like that is c o fl e ag d SO S the Germans wont get onto it . Cam o fla O o ge is no t a new kind f cheese M able . 40 DERE MABLE

C Its a military term . am o o flage is Fre nch fo r cauliflower which is a disguised cabbage . It is the same thing as puttin powder o n your face ln stead o f washin it . You deceive Germans with F it . o r instance yo u p aint a horse black and white stripes an a German comes along . He thinks its a picket fence an goes right by . Or you paint yourself like a tree an the Germans come an drink

sek r s beer round you an tell military ut . Well I guess its time to say Mery Xmas no w s Mable . I guess it wont be a ve ry Mery Xma ithut " Im w me there , eh Cheer up cause goin t o think of you whenever I get time all day

Im t no da s. long . pre ty busy w y I got to watch the men work . It keeps a fello on the jump all al the time . I like it though , Mable . Thats me l " over . Isnt it D o C s ont send me n thin fo r hristma , M able . I bought so methin for you but Im not going to tell you cause its a su rprize . All that I can say is that it cost me four eighty seven which is ff lo t more than I could a ord . An its worth a more . But yo u know how I am with money . A SO spend drift . dont send me anything please

although I need an electric flash light , some cig

o n o f arets , candy an e them sox that you wear on your head . Ill spend my last sent on anyone I

701i D ame

D h s D m ont get that confused wit Tinker a , D am t e ck nickle Mable . Tinkers is an aint even k fo rin French . I wish you new more about these lan i e s fellO s gug . I always herd a could expres s himself better in French than anything else . That because nobody can understand him an he can sa y anything he wants .

The Christmas holidays is over . I spent mine doin Kitchen police . The only thing what pealed for me Christmas morning was potatoes an th e only thing what rung o ut w as dish cloths . But I guess you aint familiar enough with the poets to e get that, Mabl , It Shows that I can b e funny an bright though even under adversary conditions .

Kitchen police dont explain what I do ve ry well . I dont walk a beet or carry a club o r arrest nobody I — or nothin . just well I wish that hired girl O f yours could come down an do Kitchen police Sh for a couple of days . e wouldnt be quitten as regular as she does . We celebrated Christmas by sle epin till a quar ter to seven instead o f hap past six. Only they forgot to tell the fello wh at blows the horn an h e 42 ” l SPENT MINE DOIN KITCHEN POLICE “ C M W I WISH THAT HIRED GIRL COULD O E DO N LOVE LE TTERS OF A R OOKIE 45

six ‘ blew it at hap past anyway . Imagine if any body hom e had told me I could sleep till a qu ar o ter O f seven Christmas morning . I guess y u know e " what Id a told him , eh , Mabl " Theres a fello in town what says he ll send flow ers anywhere you want by telegraph . I was goin to send yo u some fo r Christmas morning . Then fi e re d ce I gg it wa s a silly idea . In the first pla o theyd get all smashed o n the way. An then y u cant get enough flowers in one Of them little en elo s not v p e to make one good smell . Nothin if

m . right . Thats e all over, Mable I had dinner in town with Max Glo co se s moth

a in o ur . h er . Hes fello tent Shes a nice enoug ' l h O d e . as lady but S aint military, Mable We w walkin down the street before dinner an salutin o flicers so fast it looked like we was scratchin

o e . our f rh ds . An every time we saluted she bowed I didnt say nothin cause after all she was p ayin h “ . sh e for the dinner Later on thoug says , I think its fine yo u boys has made so many friends among the Officers cause 1 think there such nice ” men . Can you beat it M able " An when she Went home sh e sent Max an Officers hat cord cause sh e said she didnt think it would fade as quick as e a in that Old blue thing he was w r . I like to forgot to thank you for the Christmas I presents you an your mother sent . m glad you 46 DERE MABLE minded what I said about not w antin nothin al though Id sent yo u two presents what was worth more than I could afford As I said to Joe Loomis who was in th e tent when your pres ents came , it aint what the thing cost or wether yo u could ever use it for anything . Its the thought .

Sentiment before pleasure . Thats me all over,

Mable .

or swet e r . Thanks f the red , Mable We aint allo wed to use them . But you dont want to feel b ad about that cause I g o t lots O f others an didnt An need it anyway . tell your mother thanks for the preserves an cake . I think thats what they w as . They must have packed them between a

steam roller and a donkey engin from the looks . Joe Loomis picke d out most of the glass an tried ll . fe O . some Hed eat anything, that , Mable He said it must have been p retty good when it

started . Tell that to your mother . I know it will please her . I got so many presents from other girls an the like that it s kind o f hard to remember if you sent

me anything else . If yo u did just tell me in your next letter and Ill thank you when I rite again .

I hope my presents arrived all right . I guess " you ll like em . Y o u ought t o at the price . As I says to the gi rl what sold em when she says she “ didnt have nothin cheaper N o th ins t o good for LOVE LETTERS O F A ROOKIE 47

where there goin . Isnt that tipical of me , Mable " o u Well , Mable , perhaps next year Ill send y a D h el i use ishin utch m t maybe . It aint no w you a happy New Year cause I know how itll be with me away an your father what he is .

Yours regardless , ' Mo n Cro queite Thats no t th e kind with th e evenin dress tooth h t o . pick in the p , M able A croquette is a Frenc t o f an so ciety woman . Study these le ters mine h se e how I use t e words . You ought to be able to pick up enough French to understand me talkin it when I come home .

are . Well , Mable , New Years behind us again o l sh n Once more I made a lo t o f re v u u s. Its no use sayin there wasnt nothin fo r me t o change . se e falts Youre p rejudiced . I can where others n e cant . U derneath a plesant exterior I am mad ff e O f r u . e ste ner St , as the poets say I hav gav up frivolity with the exception O f goin into town e Im s onc in a while to take a bath . strong for thi t f sani y stuf under any conditions . I Im m makin a study of war . goin to tell you I m o n . a sek rut . workin a plan to end the war I o t th inkin o ne g , as I will , an it struck me that no a fi rin h o w h d gone into this at all . There all gu t o go on with it but none O f em how to quit it .

Don t say nothin till I get it worked o ut . I guess yo u always knew youd here from me when I got o n e e " g i , h M abl

” W FE I SAT NEXT To A COLONELS I LOVE LETTERS O F A ROOKIE 5 1

I also resolved not to put O ff till tomorrow what I can do today . ( Old motto . ) For instance if I can get o ut o f a fatigue today whats the use i i sle e in of w a t n till tomorrow. The same with p and restin .

I cut out cigarets to . I was gettin to be a SO t o o ne fe e nd. Got I had lite whenever I got

t in i . h k n . I was usin up most a package a day

Nervous an high strung . Thats me all over , Mable . fellO I smoke cigars an a pipe instead . A with in Y o u an active mind has g o t to have so m eth . remember what the fello what trained the high school show said when he saw me act . Tempera i . ts ture . Thats me Of course harder to borrow pipe tobacco and cigars but Im t ryin to Show th e l fel o s how bad cigarets is. Pretty soon Ill be all

O . K . again . I got t hat watch your father sent me for a New

Years present . Tell him thanks very much an not t o feel bad because he forgot t o send me a Christmas present cause this wipes out the debt entirely . He said it was a military watch an th e latest thing out . I guess they call it a military watch cause it works two hours and stops four . t Its the latest hing round here . If I answered call by that watch Id be fallin in for retreat round

. SO taps Its slow it cant stop quick . I got the blacksmith ove r at headqu arte rs com 5 2 DERE MABLE

a . p ny workin on it now Hes an awful go o d man. H e was a plumber in civilian life . Thats why t hey made him a blacksmith when h e joined t h e army . He says hes goin to fix it SO S Ill n e ver be bothered with it again .

I got asked to a dinner New Years night. I m sat next to a Colonels wife . It was kind Of e b arassin g at first . I put her easy though . I says whos e t hat funny lookin Old bird sittin across th e t room with a head like an egg . Hes very chic isn " he (Thats a French j oke M able . ) She says ” That s my husband . AS soon as Id stopped lafiin I started right in an told her the history O f every man in the company b e ginnin with the As . e You kn ow me w hen I get started . I didnt giv her no chanst to get embarassed . When she start ed to say so m e thin I just kept right on talkin just t o Show her that bein a Colonels wife she wasnt ex ff pected to make no e ort .

e . I mad good , Mable I guess you kno I would .

After dinner I heard her ask somebody who in~ “ ite m e sh e so m ethin v d . Then said like Hed ought ” o t be kn o wn b e tter . Never miss a chance . Thats e ro m o shu o r m all over . It may mean p n any I r thing. t may be that Shell have me sent to Fo t i Silly to learn so m eth n . You cant tell . I cant think O f anything more that you would

e D e s o ne . und rstand . ont Show th ese lett r to kno LOVE LETTERS OF A R OOKIE 53

The re is t o many spiz e around . I suppos e you are awful lonesome without me . I dont get much time to be lonesome what with drillin an goin out o somewhere . As s on as things get shook down a e bit I hope to get more tim to miss you . Hows your fathe rs liv er" A R u iviere , Mo n Ami

sco urin Sounds like a pouder , doesnt it , Mable " A S a matter o f fact its the way a French lady f ll talks to a e O shes awful fond Of . I n ffi m o t an O cer any more . I was just goin C i to resine anyways . The apt ns been w atch in me rise an he didnt like it . He knew I kn ew more than him as well a s me . Always askin me ques tions . Id always tell him cause I knew he had a wife and children in Jersey City an SO I was

o r . sorry f them . Soft . Thats me all over But o n the other day when I was guard he says , Cor ” ' " peral , whats the General orders an I says , Captin if yo u dont kno them now you never will and I wouldnt be doin no service to my coun ”

i . f . try I told you Cold but civil , Mable You kno how I can be .

The C apt in just felt Cheap an walked away . f SO I kind o felt sorry fo r him . Almost told him

o o n . once r twice . Then I went guard again I o go n guard a lo t . The men like me to be cor peral o f the guard because when the relief goes out I take all their blankets an go right to sleep in stead O f standin outside an w atch in them freeze . 54 ” ME N HATE TO BE WATCHED WHILE THEY ARE FRE E Z IN “ ” I HAD A REPUTASH UN FOR A DEVIL WITH TH E WIME N

58 DERE MABLE

It would make things a lot easier for me no w . Then he said that a man always got into his to Observe the action O f the 75 5 . These E nglish ff are always great for dress an that formal stu .

Im glad there tellin us this before we go over . It would have been awful emb arassing to have tried to Observe the action Of the 75 s in my D h B . V . S . I asked him if they had any trouble wit “ th e When he left he said Cheero . “ Without winkin a hair I says Be avo Same Old " Bill , eh Mable They said the other day that my name was on a list to go to school an learn all about liason . I said there wasnt much use in there doin that ff r o n . cause I was p etty well up that stu At home , re utash n fo r th e I says , I had a p u a devil with i w m en . o u Nobody knows better than y , eh Mable " I guess thats a little over your head though , Mable . I try to be as simple as I can . Im no t If just tell me . Im ritin m ff e this letter with y shoe s o . I hop youll excuse my bein so informal but Im b avin the

Old trouble with my feet . They never been right w mte r since that I taught yo u to dance . I went to the doctor with them an he said to keep Offen O them as much as I could . S they put me to work scrubb in the mess shack o n my hans and nees . I bet if a fello had both legs shot O ff theyd prop LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 59

you up against the wall an put you pe c lin onions . re I got to quit now . They got a thing called t o b e treat they have every night . I always like there just to Show the C aptin Im behind him re a le s g rd s. Im sendin you my pictur in a uniform p o intin im o li a to an American flag . Its kind of s b c l the man said , if you know what that is . I t hought youd like to put it o n the mantle in a co nsp ikuo us place so s to have so m e th in t o be proud Of when

o r your girl friend comes in to talk . Id ask you f your pictur only I h av nt got much room fo r that kind O f thing down here yours exclusively

Bill. D ere Mable

Everyon e round here is goin to school now so No t they can be sp e shulists. the kind your mother

s e shulist n o ne . goes to , Mable . A p o ly does thing I been doin eve rything round here ever since I came . I was gettin sick of it . I went to the top sargent an says I guessed I d b e a sp e shulist to . " He said all right he d make me a food sp e shulist .

Said Id have to go into it pretty deep . I been into it up t o my elbows in the kitchen ever sinc e .

o f t o . Never t rust sargents . Least all p sargents If it keeps o n like this there wont be nobody to do fi hti n . t o o the actual g but me , Mable Its much e s n i ile r po s b ty for o ne m an . Suppos e I was to get o so me thin sick r . An then a bunch of fello s went away to lern t o e fli b O ce rs. That kind o f struck my fancy it bein about the only thing I hadnt done round here . I went to the C aptin an told him I thought Id go to . He said I could go to , and then he added m e hin so t .

He said a company was built up so m eth in like

a . ffi man There was the brain , which was the O c ers , and then some w as t h e muscle an som e was 60 IT SEEMED TO DE PRE S THEM AWFUL WINDIN UP R IF I CATCH ONE OF THOSE AILIN ENEMIES YOU VICTROLA LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 63

fit th e bone . He said I seemed to be pretty well ted fo r my p art by nature so he wouldnt change me . Ive always been strong ever since I was a kid ,

Mable . t h e Div isun a Ive r ote a pome . I sent it to p pe r. They wouldnt print it cause they said it was o s real that it might dep re s the men . I guess they was right cause I read it to the fello s in the tent an Im ritin it seemed t o dep re s them awful . it to o y u. Its about the wa r . Youll probably notice t hat yourself if yo u read it careful . Here it is.

Here the thunder Of the guns Sm ashin down the German Huns An the sticky pools Of gory blood So ak in up the o o zie so d Sh re ek in The rushin , roarin , boom Of bullets crashin thru th e gloom

Listen to thos e grat e bums bust On the quiv e rin Hunnish crust Sh re e kin m o anin Listen to the , , Sw e arin ellin runtin ro anin , y , g , g That comes to us across the trenches All mixed up with g ruso m e stencl 64 DERE MABLE

Biff, an from there hellish lare

The Shreeks o f Germans rent the air .

Bloody lims lie o n the ground .

Bits o f Huns go flyin round . Bang "And through the cannons roar

Is plainly herd the splash in gore .

o n But this cannot go for long,

Cause Uncle Sam is comin strong. And when we charge the German line " R We ll chuck the darn thing in the ine .

slaute r An blood an , rape an gore

In Bel L e France will rain no more .

" Aint that terrible , Mable I read it to one fello

an he said it made him absolutely sick . He said " he didn t se e how I could rite it without gettin

sick myself. Just between me and you M able I did come pretty near being once or twice when I r1t1n I was t . Most o f all thats confidential but I dont ca re if you read it to some O f your friends just to give em O f a good idea what war is . Some Of the things a ff int very nice of course . If your ritin big stu

P o m de m o n o ie

You say that like oie yoy in Yiddish . It means saw appl e O f my e ye . I never an apple in no " I body s eye , Mable , but guess thats some French

custom . fellO Great news , Mable . A whats got a friend in the audience department in Washington just told me the wars goin to end about the 15 th of

D sa . Feb . ont y nothin to nobody about it It

might look as if I was gettin mixed up in p o litik s. h xT h e n I put in fo r a furlo on the 5 t tho . I wont

M " . have to come back , eh able Ill bet you r glad Its great to think o f gettin into a place where you cant se e through the walls and there aint three h a in inches O f mud o n the floor . An think of not v to tie the doors together when yo u come in or crawl underneath em on your hans and nees and not h av in to put everything yo u own in the world

under the bed . But I guess yo u dont care as much t as about these hings I will . This would be a good t rainin camp for artik

explorers . I bet the fe llO that picks o ut the camps ether owns a cold storage plant in civil life or else do they it by mail order . It g o t so cold the other 66 LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 67

night the silver in the thermometer disappeared .

It aint been seen since .

We got a comical guy in the tent . Bill Hug h‘ gins . Me and hims a pair . Keep everybody la in all the time . Bill likes things hot about as well as fi ib l o f O f me . Every nite he lls the S y stove s ull wood that he has to hammer the last piece in . It gets so hot that it jumps up and down like a ib l mad monkey . Thats the way S ys do when they get awful hot . Were not bothered by that much though .

We got another guy thats a fresh air fe e nd. H i K n s Mac e z ie . name is Angus . Hes Scotch Hes so close himself that he h as to have lots Of air o r E hed smother . very nite he pulls up the side o f N O f the tent by his bed . one likes resh air in M its place better than me , able , but when its as

i s fresh as this air is t place is outside . I wake up in the nite rolled into a ball like a o rk in e p yp . Theys things in the middle Of my

I . back like his stickers . f I dont move I get cramps If I do , I freeze . All around the place where Im lyin is as warm as a park bench in winter . " Sometimes I forget and push my feet down . That s

awful . One night I thought I heard the horn and stuck

o t o my head u f the blankets . It was Angus with o n no in C o u his head and e arm outside s r . an y 68 DER E MABLE

beat that . I bet he swims in the ice all winter home and has his pictur in the Sunday paper . I froze my ear before I could get my head back .

Thats the kind o f a fellO he is .

Its awful cold in the m o rn in . They blow three

fi fo r . calls . The rst is just the Slow guys I can make it nice from the march if I dont take too h ff t em tas un . many close O . Thats no One guy jumps up just before assembly and makes a lo t of fuss like hes gettin dressed . He dont fool no O ff is body . The only thing he takes at nite his ff hat . Some says that falls O when he gets into bed . i Angus gets up every m o rn n in his BVD S . I f li e think his skin is ur n d. You can hear him sm ash in the ice in the pale with a hair brush o ut side . Then you can tell hes washin by the noise h e he makes like a busted steam pipe . Then comes sm ash in into the tent le av in the door open and wipes the ice Offen his face with somebody elses o f towel an says gosh thats great . I hate that kind e llO a f . Bill Huggins cleaned the stove with his towel last w eek so s everything w ould be neet fo r in s e c h p s un . Angus got hold O f it in the dark next m o i rn n . f Gee , youd ha t laft , Mable .

o u . I got the little tin mirror y sent , Mable SO Its unbreakable all right . Bill Huggins got ” STUCK MY HEAD OUT OF TH E BLAN KETS " I WAS STARVIN WH E N I L OO K ED IN THE TIN MIRROR I THOUGHT LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 7 1

mad at it he tried to break it and couldnt . The

first time I looked in it I got an awful start . I in n thought I was st arv . I looked like o e O f them picturs o f hungry Indiens that the m ishunarie s

Show yo u just before they pass the plate . Bill Huggins swiped it later and says Why didnt some body tell him he was gettin SO fat cause he couldnt rl go home o n a fu o like that . He didnt eat nothin fo r three meals and then h e looked at hisself with the mirror turned the other way . Its like one Of those Coney Island places where a fello ff can go in and la at hisself fo r a dime . Next n time send me o e that will break . I got to quit now and buy a couple of pic s b e o fore I g to bed . I dont Sleep good less I have so e h n i D o a little m t i on my stumm ck . ont say n th in i in about what I told you in the b e g n n .

I t . Until the 5 h Feb . then Yours faithfully D e re Mab le

C a tin e f rl The p aint goin to giv me my u o . Says theres an order o ut against it . Someones got it in for me , Mable . I bought a wooley coat awful R cheap from Bill Huggins . ight away theres an

MacKe nz ie order against em . Angus sold me a. pair Of leather leggins for less than he paid for

s. them . Some bargain from Angu The next day they issue an order that you cant wear em . N o w they hear I want to go home an put an order o ut against it . If theyd only come right o ut an say

S . Bill Smith were goin to get you . neaky Thats what I call it , Mable . r Ive half a mind to transfer back to the a rtille y . If I transfer much more theyll be Chargin me ext ra " C a tin fare , eh Mable Only for me an the p not bein able to agree Id never have left . I under stand h e s been awful sorry since . All you have t o do in artillery is to put a bullet in the gun . It f does the rest . In the in antry you got to g o up and do all the dirty work yourself.

o Besides Im gettin leery f these infantry fello s. There always talking about what were goin to do b l in e slicin m to the Germans , o w em to pi ces and e 72

74 DERE MABLE

Old up north . They give you free movies thats so they look as if they was taken in the rain .

e din . It seems like fe the hippo at the zoo , Mable O f It dont matter so much as long as theres lots it . Im goin into town tonite with a bunch to eat a A swell dinner o n a china plate . All but ngus Mac Im a o n . w Kenzie . He eats all his dinners me ful sick Of e atin Out Of a tin fryin pan . When you put food in it it folds up like a j ack nife goin the wrong way. It takes months to make a good mess kit eater . We get o ur mess from some fe llo s what stands ff behind a counter . One of them divides the co ee . He does it by puttin half in your cup an hal f o n

e llo s . your thumb . The other f has big spoons

I guess they are o ld Lacross players . A big wad o f food hits your plate splash an knocks it sque e gee . The other fellO hits the other plate an knocks nin it the other way . When you get it all its run o ut O f one dish up your Sleeve an O ut O f the other back into the food pans . m a C Ar y food lways runs . ooks love loose

. f grub There aw ul stupid . I f theres anything solid you get it in the pan with the rim o n it . Then they pour the soup on your cover . When you sit down half what you got left spills o ut on the table . It isnt SO bad now cause every as i thing freezes about soon as t hits . “ ” THEY COME ROUND AND WATCH YOU EAT IT ARMY FOOD ALWAYS RUNS LOVE LETTERS O F A ROOKIE 77

Y o u ought to see us eat breakfast , Mable . We got so many overcoats and things on that a fello e l o s dont get no elbow action . Some f l eats with there wool gloves . That aint a good scheme though . It makes things taste like c atin peaches with there skins o n . The fello that invented our c atin tables must have been a supply sargent once . All the seats f is nailed to the table . When you get a spoon ul Of loose food up some fello puts his foot in your lap and leaves a couple O f pounds o f mud there .

‘ I just brush it O ff tho on the next fell o . Never complain . Thats me all over . Well Mable I got to shine my Shoes now and go and eat offen china plates with a nigger waiter . " I don t eat with a nigger waiter , Mable . Its awful S hard to explain things to you sometimes . O no w I will Clo se Hoping you a re the same D e re Mab le

I been th inkin of yo u a lot durin the last weak ,

Mabl e , bavin nothin else to do . I been in the n tis hospital with the Bro xi . I guess I caught it from Jo e Loomis . He comes from there . Id have rote you in bed but I dropped my fo untin

Im . pen o n the floor an bent it . all right now

I got some news for you , Mable . The cook says we only drew ten days supply o f food last e t time . He says he guesses when we that up fellO well go to France . Hes an awful smart the o n cook . Hes got a bet that if the allys dont buck up an win the Germans i s comin o ut ahead . Max Gl l uco s fe l O f . , a in the tent , is re ere Were all c atin as fast as we can . Perhaps we can eat it all SO in less than ten days . maybe well be gone ,

o Mable , before I rite y u from here again . Theres a French sargent comes round once in a while an says the war is goin to be over quick . He ought to know cause hes been over there an seen the whole thing . He smokes cigarets some thing awful an dont say much . Thats because the cus f poor cant talk much English . It must be aw ul not to talk English . Think Of not being able to 78 H E SMOKES CIGARETS SOMETHING AWFUL I POURED SOME OIL OUT OF H IS LAMP

82 DER E MABLE

ll dont mix very well with the fe o s . I felt sorry w as laffin t h ro win for him . Everyone else an things with him standin O ff an noone th ro w in a “ thing at him . I went up an says Aint you goin to C a tin take a bath this winter to , p Just j olly , “ Y o u Mable , thats all . I says , dont want to mind the bunch . They dont care a bit . There as dirty ” as you are anyway . Probably more An I bet they were Mable cause I aint seen the C aptin do a stroke o f work since we come here . Just stands round givin orders . “ I says , If noone wont lend you a towel you can use mine . I was just goin to have it washed any ”

. f way He got aw ul red and embarassed Mable . as I thought he w goin to choke . Hes awful queer . Just like the other m o rn in he calls me over an says , Smith , my orderlies sick . You can shine my boots this m o rnin He said it like Id been b e in gg him to for a month . An then he says , ” Smith you can lite the fire in my stove . He had think in me he was doin me favors . He said I O il might put some on his boots if I wished . I says that would be a great treat an I wished he wouldnt be so kind or the fello s would think he la in f was p y avorites . I guess he didnt here me

Mable cause hed just gone o ut . I said it any

. way I didnt care if he wasnt there . Spunky .

Thats me all ove r . LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 83

a I couldnt find no Oil for his boots nywhere ,

so o ut o f . Mable , I poured some his lamp An fe llO then I dont think that suited him . Queer the i C apt n .

I keep herein more about this fellO Bro ggins. I suppose he belongs to the Home Guards an wares his uniform round in the evenin . An I sup pose he has an American flag on his ritin paper .

It dont mean nothin in my life . I aint goin to put up no arguments o r get nasty like most fello s D L et would . ignity . Thats me all over , Mable . me tell you though if I ever come home and find him shinin his e lb O S o n the top O f your baby grand Ill kick him down the front steps if I only have one leg to do it with . Im ritin this in the in the afternoon Im se e w h cause goin o n guard tonite . I dont y they dont make it a p e rm e nant detail and be done with it . Someone said the top sargents a man ut o o I . o f ne idea . I guess m the idea I didnt go to drill this a fternoon . I didnt say nothin to the sargent though cause sargents have an idea that if they dont get a lot O f fe llo s to go o ut to drill o with them they dont look popular . I g t to go now SO S to get in my tent before they come from

drill . As ever o n guard D e re Mab le I would have rote sooner but I had such a cold

I couldnt say nothin fo r most a weak . M e t Well able , we all the food like the cook said but we aint in France yet . I guess he aint got as many brains as he said he had . Everyone is sore at him cause we didnt kick at none o f his food fo r more than a weak t h ink in that when wed e t it all wed go away . He thinks its funny an “ says D o youse guys think this war is a Cooks " tour I hate fellO S what tries to get out Of things by bein smart . l Everythings covered with mud inc udin me . I seem to attract mud like I was a maggot , Mable . Yesterday I spent all the a fternoon shinin up for so s guard to be the Colonels orderly . Then I o ut O f f . step the tent and lui The sargent says , “ Smith dont you kn ow enuff not to go o n guard lookin like that "”

Gl o I even got mud in my hair . Max uc s says when he combs his its like rakin out a garden . From what I seen O f him though I dont se e how f he ound out .

o urin Its p rain an awful cold . Its so cold that 84 I EVEN GOT MUD IN MY HAIR ” “ ME TH E WATER COMES THROUGH ON LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE ‘87 the tooth past rolls right o ffen your brush in th e

C a tin . morning . The p has a cold in his nose He says he wont take the men out in such bad wether as today . Taint nothin against him Mable but I hope he has a cold all winter . Theres a hole in the tent over my cot where

o n the Water comes through me . I put a slicker over me last nite . The water made puddles in o ut it . Then when I turned over they spilt into my i M shoes . This had me gue ss n able till finally I put Max Glucoses shoes there instead Of min e . Angus MacK enz ie had SO many holes over his cot that it looked like o n e O f those safety fire sp rink a h e l e lers . He got up last nite and rigged his S t iz half SO S the water hit it an run down onto the next cot . Hes a brite fello , Angus , even if he is a fo e n r r e . The other day he had some m e de cine for a cold . It says o n the bottle that it was 17 per cent alcohol . He drank the whole thing right SO S down nobody couldnt get hold o f it . It made him awful sick but he says thats because he isnt it Me s used to for such a long time . and him o goin down next week to put in a stock f tonics .

‘ f M . Its aw ul hard to rite letters , able Some bodys always fallin over your feet o r draggin something wet over the paper if youve got a co t o near the door like mine is. And when y u get 88 DER E MABLE goin finally at about the fourth try some sargent always comes in with a list and makes you check up something.

Sometimes I go over to the Mable . But as soon as yo u get ritin a bald headed fello “ jumps up an says Now fe llO S well all sing . All “ the fe llo s whats ritin looks up an says Aw o ne ” thing and another . I dont know who the bald e ll o n e headed f O is . They got in every

They all look about alike . I guess there a regular o f fello s t issue . Theys always a bunch what don seem to k no why they came . They all start sing

in . o r SO Then I cant rite no more do nothin .

I come home an go to bed . Independent . Thats me all over, Mable . O f Most the t axis is sw alo w e d up in the mud . o r m Theys only two three t u nin now . Only the fello s big strong can get to town . The cook says O ld O f o its the theory the arrival f the fittest . But

ci nc e . I guess you dont know nothin about e , Mable When I go to town I wrap my blouze in a news I paper . f they know your goin they give yo u a list o f things to get that looks like a Chinese

Message to Congress . By the time you go to come home yo u go t so many bundles you look like o ne o f fello s those in the Funny Papers . Every o ne stands in the square looking like a hat rack w aitin for the three taxis to come along . When

D e re Mab le

This is the last tim e I w ill ever take my p en in hand for you . All is over among us .

I felt it comin for some time Mable . Today among some letters t hat I got from girls was o ne from a girl what knos you well . She told me all about this fe llO Bro ggin s . She says you take him around with you everywhere . Thats the kind o f f M Im a ello I thought he was , able , but sur o f O f prized at y u. She says your aw ul fond him hes so cute . I aint cute an aint never pretended

t o . . be A mans man . Thats me all over , Mable She says Sh e went up to your house the other night an he was sittin in your lap stick in his tongue out i ctu o n . at my p r the mantlepiece After that , SO Mable , theres nothin to say . I repeat , its all m over a ong us . Im re turnin today by parcels post the red sw e te r an the gloves that has no fingers an the so x that i you wear over your head an your p ctur. Most o f ff the stu aint been used much . The pictur has some mud on it cause I had to keep it in the bot

O f tom my barrak bag an my shoes came next . The sox I cant send back cause I sold em to Joe Gluco s an you wouldnt want em now . go “ ” TH E LAST TIME I WILL TAKE MY PE N IN HAND FOR YOU IT WONT BE NO USE KUNIN TO THE DOOR

9 4 DERE MABLE

I guess t his wi ll hit your father an mother pr et e ty ha rd . They got nobody to blam but your ) self . On the other hand its goin to please some SO girls that I know . its a poor wind that dont blow nobody round as the poets say . I guess you wont here much about the poets any more , Mable . in About all youll here is Bro gg s. I hate a man what talks about himself .

I suppose he has joined the Home defence . Are " you goin to have a military weddin , Mable If Im kind Of sorry fo r your father . you have his liver o n your hands dont blame me . You know the doctor said any kind o f a Shock would se t him O ff a mile . I m fo r . An now , Mable , closin the last time It wont be no use rumin to the door when you her e the postman no more cause he wont have nothin but the gas bill . From now o n the only way youll here from me is in the papers perhaps when w e get over there .

Im fo Now going to ask you a favor, Mable , r o ld times sake . Take the pictur I had taken o intin fl o p to the American ag an burn it up . Y u cant have that to Show your friends no more an

I aint goin to have no flat foot makin faces at it .

I may be selfish , Mable , but a girl cant make a cake an eat it too as the old sayin is .

Give my best to your father an mother . Tell LOVE LETTER S OF A R OOKIE 9 5

i t z n o e m I s mp a hi e with them in there loss . Its use ritin any more cause Im firm as the rock o f

. m e all Gibber Alte r. C oncrete Thats Over,

M able . as ever yours no longer

Bill. WE ST UNIO N T E L AM

RECEIVEDAT Ph i l op ol i s . 3 .

Mi s s uab l e Gi mp 106 Mai n St r e e t Ph i l o o l i N n s , . Y.

De r e Mab l e " How was I

Br o i w gg n s as a d o g . You c an s e nd

b ac k al l your s t uf f and mak e me s ome

' mor e i f ou w y ent t o . Th i s t e l e gr am

' " i s c o s t i ng me ni ne c e nt s a Word s o

' o ant s a no mor e ow T y n " h r i f t y .

Th at s me al l v O e r , Mab l e.

'

Bi l l .

llts er o ,

D e re Mab le I take my pen in hand to tell you what do you think I done no w " I left the infantry an gone C a tin back into the artillery . The p hated to let me go . He said the Artillery Colonel ,was a friend o f his . I guess thats why he finally said O f in all right . It wasnt that I was scared the f n a try. I guess you know that I aint scared Of anyt hing that walks on two legs except the mea sles . The artillerys really more dangerous than th e infantry cause yo u stand in o n e place SO they can get a good line o n yo u while in the infantry your running round all the time . Se e in the C aptin was so j ealous Of me I thought a fe llO with brains would have more chance over here . I tried to transfer as an officer but the C ap tin said I better go over as a private and as soon as they saw what kind o f a fello I w as theyd e fix me all right . He seemed to wak up a little 9 9 L E R M 100 THATS ME AL OV , ABLE

Im when he saw I was goin . going to put in my applicashun for an Officer as soon as I get a chance . I didnt go back to the same battery I was in before cause youll remember that the C aptin and d I didnt get along ve ry well . Coul nt seem to agree o n nothin . I thought it would be pleas anter for me an him to if I went to another bat r t e y. It almost seemed like they was w aitin for me cause the day after I came over they hitched up the horses and drove the cannons o ut to the range . Its kind o f hard to explain to a girl like you what a range is . The only way I can explain it is that it aint nothin like a range . There aint nothin here but m o untins and we can fire all we want without hittin nothin but the m o untins and once

n in a while maybe o e O f the m o untin ears . But they say there SO tough they dont mind it a bit . f Thats a unny thing about artillery, Mable . The t o object seems to be not hit nothin . The day “ we got out here I heard the C aptin say Well Im glad were way out in a place like this where we " o f don t run no danger hittin nothin . All I said “ se e f C a tin was I like to a fello care ul p , but if thats all your w o rryin about you n e e de nt have ” so taken much trouble . The longer I know C a tins p the less I understand them .

‘ ” “ H TI WE CAN FIRE ALL WE WANT WITHOUT I IN NOTHIN ” ME ALL R M 10 THATS OVE , ABLE 3

This is the rainy season . The south is a w o n de rful country for wether cause everything is

ff o divided O s well . There is three seasons . The cold season , the hot season and the rainy season .

Thats w hat makes the place SO good . It would be awful tiresome if you was always fre e z in to

o r b ak e in . o w death , or always soaked always N you get four months Of each . It makes a change fo r a fello .

e h Theyve put me o n the sp s ul detail . The s e shul o f fe llo s p detail , Mable , is a bunch what knows more than any o ne else in the camp . I Sit on a hill all day with a little telephone in a lunch b o x and take m e ssages . They got an awful

o system f sending messages in the artillery . Ill b e sittin there th inkin o f yo u an w aitin for lunch and somebody says “ Hello ” an I says “ Hello

sa just like a regular fone . And then they y “ ” Heres a message from mmmmmmmm . Its always the same fello . I dont know who he is . “ And then they say Tell C aptin mmmmmmmm ” to mm mmmmmmm at once . Please repeat . “ And then I repeat and whoever it is says No , ” N O and you dont here any more . I guess its some kind O f a code they have . I dont believe the C aptin is on to it cause you ought to have h e heard wh at he said the other day . I guess ME ALL R ” 104 THATS OVE , MABLE

e llO I' was talkin about the f on the other end . never heard your father do better . Its awful dangerous work cause where I Sit f f aint more than hal a mile rom the shells . If they ever put a curve o n o n e o f them its good night Willie . I aint scared Of course . I just m enshune d SO S it you wouldnt worry . Ill tell f you more about the tele one the next time . I may know more about it myself then . Yours till they curve one

D ere Mab le

l Were still up at the arti lery range shootin . I Im n dont know what at . b e gi nin to think nobody else does ether . Our guns is pointed right at some woods . Weve been shootin at those woods now for a week and h av nt hit them t o yet . We always seem go over them . Theres a fello stands behind the guns and yells things all “ U day like it was a poker game . p five , up ten . The whole thing seems like an awful waste o f I time to me . m goin to suggest that we tie a couple Of horses to a tree and Shoot at them . The fe llO S would take more interest in there work if there was some reward . It wouldnt bother the horses much if we cant hit the woods I guess , eh " I Mable They can use my horse . If m willin to take a chance he ought to be . A fello told me the other day that these torpe toes what we shoot cost as high as twenty dolla rs apiece . I dont believe that though o r theyd be a law against it . I guess he was talking about the Im o f t o r e to e s guns . going to take a couple p back to camp and se e how much the audience de 107 LL R 108 THATS ME A OVE , MABLE p artment will give me for them . Thrifty .

Thats me all over , Mable .

The m o untin ears come over and watch us . I guess the moonshining business must be lax this o ut time O f year . A moonshiner makes whisky n MacKenz ie O f corn . A gus tried to make some by soaking a couple O f ears in a bucket fo r almost " a week . It didn t taste like much though an made us kind o f sick . I guess you have to have

e ll . a still like these f O S have They call it a still ,

use o n . Mable , cause they have to it the quiet The m o untin ears are awful fierce with big adams apples and round hair cuts when they have ‘

f . o . f any They have amily oods I guess they g . the idea from the movies , Mable . For instance th e Turners live o n the o ne side O f the m o untin and the Howards o n the other . That makes

O A c o in them sore S they shoot each other . c rd to the stories they only shoot each other when they are goin to church . From the looks o f them I am ni h n guess they made that rule to save u s u . Angus an I went o ut last Sunday looking for a still . We thought we had o ne once and watched it most all day but it turned out to be just a little Shack where they sell fig newtons

o fello ‘ and lemon p p to the s. You cant fool

Angus . se e The more I Of the army , Mable , the more I

ME ALL R ” THATS OVE , MABLE 111

ff o f think its an awful blu . I heard a lot talk when I first came up about a gun park . I thought it would be a nice place to go Sundays and have

C tin some fun . I asked the ap if there was a lake where a fe llO could get a c anO O and have a little l h paddle . He said no but t hey had a fine c o le cs un

Of animals . I didnt se e nothin O f no park when we came up . I spent a Whole Sunday afternoon e lookin fo r it . One day I asked the sargent wher nhi i H it was while We were u tch n . e said we were in it then . It isnt nothin but a big field without a blade O f grass or a tree and just the guns in i the middle . I told him f he thought this was a i park he ought to se e We e w llo Park home . I guess you ought " to know, Mable , I paid your way in Often enough . Its like those picturs you see stuck around Main h s Street about men wanted for t e army . There o ne fellO la in o n always p y tunes a bugle , an a couple o f fello s playin Old Maid o n a table . An O ff in the corner theres always a bunch lyin under the trees like the High School tennis team having there p ictur taken . Now that isnt the kind of

t at . hing we do _ all , Mable If the top sargent i ever found us like that hed swallo h s whissle .

C a tin M e . I had a run in with the p last week , abl i I cant seem t o get along with C apt ns. High

. E e r we strung Thats me all over . v y week E ALL R 112 THATS M OVE , MABLE have an insp e cshun and I have to clean the whole

gun myself . They send the whole bunch down but I guess its just t o hand me things . Like h nurses in an operation . It aint muc fun I tell yo u. When the Major came around next day he opened the little door in the back Of the gun and I guess he saw how many parts there was t o keep “ clean cause he says My , what an awful bore .

The Major is all right , Mable . He likes a fello to have a little fun once in a while . I guess he

C a in Y e s aint never been a pt . I says , Maj or , it certainly is , an nobody knows it better than me ” e cau s I cleaned the whole thing myself . He “ says Well if you dont do so m e th in about it next week then yo u wont have nobody t o blame but f ” yoursel . I took the hint right o ff and when it came time to clean guns fo r the next insp e cshun I g o t a horse

and rode over to town and took a bath . I told the Captin a fterwards what the Maj or had told me but I dont think he would care if General

Perishing had asked me home to dinner . Its

h e T o what wants . tell the truth I think he wa s sore cause I got a bath an he didnt . a f Thats unny thing about the army. If theres a speck o f dirt o n t h e o ld guns or the horses e e o o v ryone gets an awful ballin ut . But if a fell

” ME ALL R 11 THATS OVE , MABLE 5 takes a little time to wash hisself youd think he

done a crime . o Im o n Well I got to quit n w . goin what

Angus MacK enz ie calls a still hunt . Thats a k c s o t h joke . I think when the wars over Ill marry you an be i a m o unt n c ar. They dont seem to have nothin to do but stand round with there hands in there

pockets and watch uS work . Thats a nice life . yours till then D e re Mab le

stickin o n th e Spring is come . The buds is out tack sicab s stickin trees . Pieces of is up through the mud on the roads . Yesterday I caught a fly .

It makes a fello feel romantic somehow o r other . Some of em Shines there shoes and rites home

icturs . Oftener . Some has even had there p taken Max Gluco s was SO sure spring was here that he got usin the Sib ly stove fo r a laundry bag . Then we had a cold night and Angus Mac Ken z ie thought it was kindling . Max an Angus aint e a i sp k n now . Not that that matters much though cause they never said much when they did talk . It kind o f makes me restless Mable when I o f o th e think y u and Main St . and the fello with long hair in Billings and Stover what used to make

st . us up Sundays . An I get lonesome for Maple with yo u an me sittin at o ne end Of the piazza p re te ndin we was liste nin to your father readin

o ut . the newspaper loud If I ever get Old ,

Mable , dont let me read the newspaper out loud . An do yo u remember how still wed have to sit SO S the h amm o k wouldnt squak a fter eleven " O clock o r your fath e rd stick his head out the door

116

S ME ALL R ” THAT OVE , MABLE 119

" an say that if I didn t have a home you did " An how wed go c ano o ing at We ewillo park Saturday nights and stay o ut till the fello that hired the boats out went to sleep . I was always a good

Y o . spender . u know that, but thrifty Thats me

all over, Mable . I was comin back to camp the other night and “ ” a guard stopped me and says Who goes there " “ an I says without think in Me an Mable every ” no Saturday night . Thats the way I am w . Gl Max uco s says poetry . Spring hits him that

. S , s m way ome gets hay, fever o e rash and others o n poetry . He says e thing that starts In the spring a young mans fancy vests and socks come ” into V iew . He says a fello named Burns wrote h it . Angus says Burns was a hot sk o tc . But o u I guess y wouldnt understand that . i i h Were going to have a d v s un Show . Of cours e every body in the div ishun isnt goin to b e lo in it . A t Of them has to be detailed to watch it . They asked me what I could do and I said most anything but Id like to say a piece called i Gung ad e n . Its a piece I came across in a book by a fe llO I never heard o f SO I didnt think any o l O S f the fe l would k now it . They t old me to report at the mess Shack an theyd fix me up . When I went they told me I w as electrician cause anybody could recite pieces but they had to have E LL R 120 THATS M A OVE , MABLE

a fello with a bean o n him to be electrici a n . They told me they w as goin to hold me for an

If an e v e r emergency . the Show went rotton y body g o t th ro win things then theyd send me o ut .

l M . o f Fe lO S is funny, able Most em when you ask em say they cant do nothin . Then if they think they aint goin to be urged they say there rotton but theyll have a try at it . Then when they get down reh e rsin they get SO pleased with themselves they dont want to quit an give nobody o b t o else a chance . Its part Of the electricians j fellO get them away when they get through . One plays a uk aylaly and Sings H o w areyo un songs . He thinks there SO sad that he almost cries every o time . We think so t o but it makes us mad instead . Thank your mother fo r the spring toni c she o f sent me . Its funny that a bottle medicine was the first thing that ever came t hrough the post

Office without bein in pieces . I cant say much fo r the taste . I guess thats why it got by the post ffi SO o ce well . Your mother rote me to take it regular cause it put iron in my blood . Angus says we g o t enough stuff to lug around now with o ut b allistin o ur g insides with iron . After he tasted it he said that if he had t o have iron in his blood hed rather swallo a couple O f n ails and

” S ME ALL R 12 THAT OVE , MABLE 3 let them dissolve inside him than take them pre digested . D nitte d ont send me no more things , Mable . e e Its gettin hotter every day . Next wint r well b in France . Its nice and warm there all the time .

Besides Paris is a pretty fair sized town . I can e run in any time and get what ever I want . Giv i my regards to your father . I hope h s liver is workin again . I dont suppose he is by any

Chance . yours regardl e ss D ere Mable

I got arrested for a week up at the artillery a range . That aint disgrace like bein arrested in C D o f the ity though . own here some the nicest fello s does it . There aint no j ale . I just live in ff o f a di erent tent . I guess they couldnt think Im any place worse t o live in than a tent . in C with a good crowd . It makes a nice hange from

i in o . dr ll . I g t arrested for my watch bein slow

That shows how strict they are in the army . While we was firin at the range the other day I was sittin o n a hill with the fone takin messages b ill thinkin f from another . I was o you an gettin kind o f dopy when some o ne says over the fone ” “ This is the General . I says How do yo u do i C eus . s r. urt Thats me all over , Mable . I guess he didnt here me though . He says “ o Were going to syncopate ur watches . That n e o n o n was a w e me Mable . I was goin to tell o him that mine didnt need it . Its the ne your father gave me an its been runnin in ragtime ever

Since I got it . Then he says When I say check its t en fifty fiv e I thought he was exce e din his 124

E ALL R 126 THATS M OVE , MABLE

When I came down I showed him where it was o n a little pictur I drew him . An to here him talk youd think hed never asked me to take it up the b ill at all . Yesterday w e was firin into the middle Of a field where there wasnt a livin thing to hit as far C a tin e as I could se e . If the p had to p ay for thes f t o rp e to e s I bet hed be more care ul o f them . He was awful excited though . He came up an gave me a lot o f numbers to fone to his battery . He " didn t say what to do with them an nothin hap

o t . . pened . That g him sore It aways does C aptin s thinks you ought to kn ow what to do with out tellin you . He started to take it o ut o n me so m e thin O ff bein the nearest . He says Get ”

. h i ff O . o e t S quick Hurry up Get s m n O quick . just to humor him I took O ff my shirt as he hadnt Y specified . o u cant do nothin right fo r a man like that though . Im le arn in a lot about cannons an there habits .

There like horses . When you first get them there Ca wild . The ptin told me that every other bat t e r h is y but was awfully wild . He has trouble with his though cause the other day they t e le fo ne d th e e d O f up that y just broken one his guns . I guess he likes em better wild cause he got awful sore . But yo u couldnt do anything right for th e

C aptin . “ THEY GE T AW F U I F AT r m r

0 ME ALL R M 13 THATS OVE , ABLE

away so long I bet William S . Hart has grown a beard . When you rite I wish youd look up and se e when lent is SO S I could give up a litt le so m h in O f e t . The way a fello loses track national f holidays down here is aw ul . Give my regards to your mother and as far as I m concerned to your father to . Yours till better time s “ O THEY C ME AND GE T OUR DIRTY WASH

1 LL R M 3 4 THATS ME A OVE , ABLE

they all seem awful pleased . From all Ive seen if the Germans will only land me on the hea d with a center of impact I wont feel Ive got any kick coming . I was o ut with Angus MacKe nz ie o n a still hunt an an autym o b ile came along what belonged to a fello what had two sons in the army . I could tell cause it had a fl ag o n the front with two stars f llO o f . e o n it . It stopped in front us The what owned it belonged to the cavalry cause h e had a yello hat cord on . He leaned out and says ” “ D se e " Sir w as ont you that fl ag I says yes , , I

im h iz in just s p at g with em . That kind of went home I guess cause he got red an says You re port this thing to your battery commander imme ” e a e l SO d t y. when I got home I told him that a fello what owned a big car had two sons in the army . I had to call him o ut from mess to tell him an he says what the this that and the other did he care . If you do what your told you get t in rouble and if you dont you do to . The C aptin s gone to Fort Silly now to learn so m e h n K t i . I just told An gus Mac e n z ie I L n thought hed get more at Fort e v e w o rth . But t e ck nickle M thats a j oke , able . Of course you wont get it . I guess the Lieutenant thought he was in the audience department o r so m e th in cause right away a fter the C ap tin left he came down and “ ” IT AINT As DANGEROUS As I THOUGHT

ME ALL R 13 8 THATS OVE , MABLE

Im j oke . All I say is that not as strong a s a horse even if I did win a lot o f cups at high school an if I can stand o n to legs a horse can to only hes to lazy . Max Gluco s and Angus and me goes over to se e the m o untin ear what sells Bevo once in a t in while . Were ry to catch him some day when ce tin o e hes wild . He aint been wild so fa r p n s day when we forgot to pay him . Angus say t hey only get wild certain times o f t h e year .

Angus wont drink Bevo . He says it looks the sam e and tastes the same but it aint got the same influence with him . o ne The m o untin ears hate niggers . This has been t ryin to get uS to go on what he calls a coon hunt ever since we been up here . Were goin with him this week . They hunt them at night . S I suppose thats O you cant see them so well . He SO S takes the dogs they can smell the coon . I m o nti guess the u n ears got a cold . The coon climbs a tree , then you cut the tree down and then o f h a the coon course s to come down to . I won der what they do with them when they get them . It seems foolish to go to all that trouble when you can find a dozen o f them in every little house you come to .

H e Angus has got a rubber bath tub sent him . thinks its great cause yo u can fold it so small it ANGUS ” LIKES IT CAUSE H E CAN SIT DOWN IN IT

D e re Mab le .

Its so foggy that we cant fire at the range . I dont se e what difference that makes though . I h av nt seen nothin since we started but a bunch of Im trees in front of the guns . goin to rite you a letter if the top sargent dont remember that he aint put me o n no detail . We leave the guns O S so m e th in o ut all night . Just S well have more to guard I guess . Were supposed to take turns AS o ut guarding . far as I can make that means me and the rest of the battery altercate every other night . I suppose they think some of the m o untin c ars is goin to take one of the guns and dri in K i h v . Mac e nz e sk o tc go with it Angus , the fello , says they have to guard em SO S they wont ff O . o go That sounds kind f Silly to me though ,

Mable .

I been raisin a must ash . That is I was till yesterday when I cut it o ff while I was Sh av in and think in o f you . I was sorry cause it was comin Yo good . u could se e it as plain as day with the

. h ex re s un . naked eye ( Thats just an p , Mable ) o f In a couple places I could catch hold o f it . sa They y nothin grows very good down here , “ ” IF TH E TOP SARGENT DONT REMEMBER

” 1 6 “ LL R 4 THATS ME A OVE , MABLE

sa . gradual . Buy the blinds first y But theys one ruflin so thing about it . Ive been g it long in the army that there aint no kind o f hardship thatll bother me . m o ntin The u ears has funny customs , Mable , m k and yello dogs without any stum uc s . Angus an I was o ut ridin last Sunday lookin fo r a still an f got cold . We stopped at a cabin an a ello came “ o ut with a round hair cut an says Howdy boys , wont ye light an strip " Angus says that he didnt have no figg e r fo r that but wed come in an E h " get warm . M able Once in a while when we cant eat what th e cook gives us which is most o f the time we go down the road to a m o untin ears wife what makes pan cakes . She always carries a kid under her arm like an over coat . It looks as if the kids head was o n the stove most Of the time . Angus says sh e greases the griddle with it . I dont know m o untin about that , but the ears is awful tough people . Me an some o f the other fello s went to a m o untin ears party in a little town near here the

lo t o f other night . There was a girls there with f unny noses . When they saw us they all ran in l ffe a corner and a d at us . That made me kind o f sore cause we hadnt invited ourselves but been ast . The lady that ast us said the girls had there SH E W ” AL AYS CARRIES A KID UNDER H E R ARM

0 ME ALL R 15 THATS OVE , MABLE

an idea o f the way I feel . I got to stop now an ello go an see some f s in another battery . I just herd the top sa rgent blow his whissle . yours till I rite again D e re Mab le " I would have rote you before this only the fe llo s in my tent is too tite to buy any paper . It t o wouldnt take much , though , tell you what I ad been doin . If I ever rote a book about my ventures same as that fellow Empty what rote “ ” the book called Over the t o p and go to Hell it would run in c o mp e te shun with the M anual o f Im so Inferior Guard . gettin I can only sleep four hours at a time . The only trouble is that it works the other way . When I do happen to miss a day not bein o n guard I have to go to sleep O f after I work fo r two hours . course that inter W sk e dule feres ith the drill , M able , but you cant explain nothing to a top sargent . " I overslept the other m o rnin . I didn t here the se e h o horn . I dont w they expect a fello to here i the horn f hes a Sleep . If he herd it hed be o t f fi in awake . I g out be ore they started r anyway .

I had to go without breakfast to do it . I wasnt

So ie in goin to complain about that , though . ld r

every minit . Thats me all over, Mable . The

Lieutenant got awful sore . I guess he was mad

cause hed got up earlier than he had to . He said I5 I 2 ME ALL R 15 THATS OVE , MABLE he was goin to prefer charges and asked me what I had to say. I told him every man to his taste and if he was askin my opinion Id prefer to f f go back to bed . Aw ul excitable ello , the Lieu tenant . I Saw a letter o n the tops desk yesterday about the meddles a fello can get now . Theys all kinds

o f different ones . Somes from Congress and Im somes from the Ward Apartment . goin to rite my co ng re sm an as soon as I finish this letter h and get a bunc o f them . Of course I wouldnt wear them till I do so m ethin pretty good but I figure o ut that itll take SO long to get em over there that it would be better to get em no w and take em over with me . Im goin to tell the co ngre sm an to that as far as Im concerned Id like to go to France as soon

as I can . Its gettin nice and warm now fo r li trav e n . t o e e I want s the Champs Eliza . Thats a street in Paris that was named after

Queen Elizabeth . But thats history , M able , I

dont suppose you understand . They tell me its even better lookin than Broadway or Fo rtyse co nd zu ( 4 d) street . I saw in the Sarah cuse p apers that they thought I the artillery was goin there to expand . f I ex Im p and any more , Mable , going to bust my belt .

I dont know why it is . I dont eat nothin outside

” ME ALL R 1 THATS OVE , MABLE 55

Of meal hours e xceptin a few pies and the like o c n but I get fatter and fatter . I never think f ati ll when Im no t hungry like some fe O S. A fello what does that is makin a pig out of hisself I think .

ac Ke nz ie sk o tch Angus M , the fello , was out H e guardin the guns with me the other night . went to Sleep on an aunt hill . I guess the aunts thought he was a new m o untin o r so m e th incause rn i they was all standin o n him the next m o n . To " look at the sunrise I says , eh Mable Angus N a o le un didnt seem to care though . He says p had the same thing happen to him and was always o n h is stumm ick tellin how an army traveled , N e o le un f t p , Mable , is the ello tha Washington licked . They named that three colored ice cream

after him . firin All day long while were , Mable , a fello from Brigade headquarters stands near the guns

and looks through a big glass with horns o n it . I guess hes to lazy to hold it hisself SO he brings o ut camera legs and puts them under it . He looks through the glass and seems to se e a lo t o f numbers that he tells to a fello what stands b e

. se side him I dont e where he sees them . I looked through the glass the other day while he was e atin lunch and I couldnt see a thing except

the Side of the hill . Then he came back and ME ALL R ” 156 THATS OVE , MABLE

O ff looked through it and read a string of them . The fe llO beside him rites down everything h e h t e . says . I looked over his shoulder other day It looked more like a Jewish curse to me than anything else . The Lieutenant came down the other day and told us to get all shined up cause the Sanita ry in spector was comin o ut to look us ove r . I thought hed be all dressed up in white with white tennis shoes like fancy bakers and sanitary barber Shops . o n He wasnt though . He just had a regular h s e s ll . uniform . I didnt think he was p u y sanitary

It may have been sunburn though . I couldnt tell from where I stood . He had a fello with him they said was from the audience department . I know now why they call it the audience department . All they do is come round and watch us work . Thats a branch

I didnt know about till after Id j oined this .

Well , Mable , I got to quit now and go and look at the Guard rooster to se e if I answer Sick call tomorrow m o rnin . They say the Germans is raisin the dickins . I wish theyd hurry up and get m e over there .

yours eternally, in h aste

D e re Mab le

I thought Id rite yo u and let you know they sa wasnt nothing particular to y. Theyve called O ff th e firin fo r a few days till they can get some more amunishun . If theyd only scatter a few Germans o ut there it wouldnt be such an awful waste . Ive fired so much now I guess I could fire Im anything . Tell your mother the first thing

wh en I . going to do , get home is fire the cook o ld " Same card , eh Mable h a nt Its nice and warm here n o w . We v used the Sib ly stove fo r a week exceptin to keep o ur dirty wash in . An Old nigger comes round once fi e r a week and takes it o ut . I cant gg that nigger o ut o f h , Mable . From the looks the was he brings back he thinks I only got o ne leg and from the looks o f the bill he hands me he thinks Im a

se nta e h e . p e d. Angus s ays s no t all there hisself

Thats why he loses so much .

We had a boxing fight the other night . The

Lieutenant says they increase the moral . I dont think they do the non coms no good though when they se e the wallop some o f the fello s in their squad has got . Jo e Loomis has been talkin so 15 9 S ME ALL R 160 THAT OVE , MABLE much about h o w he could lick the whole div ishun with one hand behind his back that we g o t him to

o n . go in . I put some money him at his advice I guess he made his mistake in not tyin hi s hand . Somebody told me he was fast . He was .

He outran the other fello all the way . Angus says they ought to make sp e shul fighting rings with banked corners SO S fighters could make better time . o e J thinks he won yet . He says if he hadnt slipped and fell o ut o f the ring o n his elbow hed have nocked that fe llo s head Offen his shoulders Im so hard it would have hurt somebody . glad

I borrowed the money I bet o n him . It might have been a total loss . Im going to ask the Lieutenant to make me SO S a bugler , Mable , I can find where buglers go between meals . Nobody ever sees a bugler ex o n cept at mess and payday . Ive asked a lot of l fe lo s but nobody knows what becomes o f them .

I wouldnt want to be a bugler all the time . Its two much strain o n a fe llo s face . As soon as I

‘ find o ut where they go Ill transfer back as a

fighter .

I went into town the other night , M able , and went to a dinner that me and a lot of other fello s a was ast to . I s t next to a lady what didnt seem to h ave much o n but a lot of j ewels as far as I

” ME ALL R 16 THATS OVE , MABLE 3

O . f Sh e could see course was sittin at the table ,

Mable . I looked the other way all the time I was talkin to her cause I didnt want to e mb arass ff her . I was going to O er her my coat but I didnt e if s e why I should take cold She wanted to . sh e We didnt talk much . Once looked at me “

Mr. for a long time and then says You know , Smith every time I take a hot bath I feel very guilty All I said was “ Because youre not shar ” ing it with somebody I suppose . Then we

‘ didnt talk much again . There w as a lady across the table with turtle hide eye glasses what w as collectin things for the ffe i P wh sh e su r n in the alac e ste in . I asked her y didnt put an add in the paper askin everybody t o o send in there O ld brown derbies . Nobody g t it

a though . I w s the only one at the whole table that a got a laugh o ut o f it .

n Mac K e nz i k o e s tch f . A gus , the ello was there

He says he likes that kind o f a party . He is always full o f get up and go from the minute he gets there . I never saw so many dying relatives in my life o as is comin by telegram every day . Have y u o r so m e th in M " got an epide rmic up north , able It seems as if everybody I know had been home at least once to help his grandmother die . None fo r of em seem to care much their relatives , “ 16 M 4 THATS ME ALL OVER , ABLE

n though , from the way they act when there starti h e home t o watch them p ass away . I asked t rlo n Lieutenant for a fu . He would t give it to

G t fo r th C a in . me . o it in me just like e pt did I wish youd telegraph him that you died quietly “ and couldnt I come up fo r the funeral o n o r ” the about middle Of the month . While we was firin at the range the other day a couple o f fe llo s rode o ut by the targets lookin fo r

Shells . It was the first time wed seen anything

firin worth while at . Eve rybody was right on e there toes . I guess the Lieutenant didnt se em

fi D . though caus e he had us ceas e rin . opy th e se e Thats way he is all the time . I dont how were ever going to learn nothin if we dont ceaze o ur opportunities . I dont guess theres any use in my askin yo u if h av in s e h o your a good time . I dont e w you could be under the circumstances . Just make the best o f it Mable and as soon as me and the rest Of the fe llo s can get things straightened o ut Ill come b ack and paint the canoe again . until then yours faithfully

D ere Mab le

I am bustin into so cietie up here at the range . This ne e de nt make no difference between you and me though . There aint nothing stuck up about SO as its me but my hair . Thats all right long good and wet . Last Sunday while I was takin a bath in a little town nea r here the minister ast N o t o f me to dinner . while I was in the tub , ast course , Mable . Just after . He Joe Loomis

t o as . to . He had really cause he w with me H e t H e s not a regular minister . s g o a lot of money and pointed shoe s an is down in the moun

i l cro n k . . tins for a muth Awful highbrow , Mable D ont know who Ring Lardner is and changes the needle after every record . h as The minister two daughters , both girls , and a wife . One o f the girls is good looking and the other is more like youd expect . I guess Shes

o h a pillo f t e church . Joe was ast for her while

I amused the good looker . Anybody but Joe b ttin could have seen that . Not him . He kept u s in an makin an as of hisself . fo r h a ast o ne We was ast dinner at p . Joe thought it would b e politer not to run in an e at an 167 168 “ ME ALL R THATS OVE , MABLE run o ut like it was a canteen SO we went a little early . About noon . They played highbrow pieces o n the ph o neygraph . The kind that has only o ne tune on them an cost so much that every body has to lissen . Joe dont know nothin about R h i R . a n music o f course . ight while K usso was v an awful time he says if theyll speed it up he like to have a little dance . The minit we sat down to dinner Jo e started tellin o ne o f his stories about h o w he almost got killed o n e time . They was all we itin for him to Shut up SO S the minister could say grace before o e the soup got all cold . J thought they were i o m e th in l st e ne n to him . Thats s that aint ever ra in happened to him before . He kept d gg it out ra in and d gg it o ut . The only thing that finally f stopped him was that he orgot the point . Then the minister put his nose in his soup and began o e sayin grace . J thought he was talkin to him “ ” and kept askin Hows that and what say all th e i time he was p ray n .

I aint never goin o ut with that fello no more .

I guess thats sa fe cause he w ont never be ast .

All the time durin dinner he kept sayin , My h gawd I hate to make such a o g o f myself. Then the minister would look like hed lost some money and my girl would giggle . The ministers wife passed him some stuff She said was r e al Old

” ‘ ME ALL R 1 THATS OVE , MABLE 71

Spider corn cake . Joe said he didnt care how o ld it was . Since hed been in the army hed got

SO S he could eat anyt hing . Then he thought a while an says he guessed it must have been a re lief to the spiders to get rid Of them . Nobody said nothin . Just to Show his poyse Jo e took his fork out o f his mouth and speered four pieces of bread across the table . He was all fo r keepin the same plate through i dinner and gettin up an h e lp n . Said he knew

What it was like t o be in the kitchen o n Sunday .

They forgot the coffee till dinner w as over . They " didn t like to waste it I guess bein war times so the ministers wife ast uS i f wed like to go into r i the d aw n room an have it . Joe said he wasnt much at drawin but My gawd if he sat round makin a h o g o f hisself any lo nge r theyd have to . give it to him in a bed room . ff Se ein They gave us co ee in egg cup s. I wasnt payin for it I didnt guess it was my place sa to y nothin . Manners . Thats me all over, o o ne an Mable . We g t talkin about thing and other . I was tellin them about the war and o o e o n when it was goin t end . J was sittin the sofa with the other daughter pickin the sole o f his Shoe . I felt sorry fo r him cause I knew hed be lookin at fo tygraph s pretty soon if he didnt buck up . 1 2 ME ALL R 7 THATS OVE , MABLE The ministers wi fe asked me what I thought of i a wim m ns sufr g e . I said I thought it was a good thing but you couldnt tell . Thats the beauty of e o u always keepin r ad up on these things . If y happen to get outside the army for a little whil e and meet some inte lig e nt people you can talk on pretty near anyt hing . Then She turned to Joe and ast how he felt . Joe jumped like somebody “ sprung o ut at h im an s ay s A little sick t o my stumm ick thanks but thatll b e all right as soon as ” things se t a bit . The good lookin o ne said she thought o ur O fli r cers was awful cute . I guess She never seen o u

Lieutenant . She said She just couldnt resist them . “ t hinkin I says , quick without it up Of course , its an ffi against the law to resist O cer . That got laflin o e them all an they forgot J for a little while .

Both the daughters sang a duette . Joe says that was the best thing about it . They got afli through twice as quick . We got l n so hard that I says I guess wed have to g o $ 08 to be in time fo r mess . Then Joe got awful polite and b acked over a rubber plant an says “ My gawd ”

ast . excuse me . He wont never be again

o nde rin fo r Ive been w a long time , Mable , why the audience O fli ce rs all wear Spurs . They dont ever ride a horse of course . I ast Angus a K nz i sk o tch M c e e , the fello , the other day and

” ME ALL R 1 THATS OVE , MABLE 75 he says its to keep there feet from Slidin O ff the f " desk . Aint that a unny custom I guess were goin to begin shootin again pretty is soon . The Lieutenant says the artillery goin to have a Brigade problem and the infantry is comin up from camp for it . I guess well all take a lot more interest in the shootin if theres some thin worth while to fire at yours in spite o f better things Bill .

P S. o e . J Loomis just got a letter that smelt and " what do you suppose , Mable It was from the g o o dlo o k in daughter askin him to come over to no dinner next Sunday all alone . I guess there t as as high brow I thought . D e re Mab le

e Were back from shootin at the range . W ended up by firin at the infantry . That was what they was talkin about when they said there was goin to be a ga rage fire . Thats the army all over,

k nick fi i T e c le . r n Mable . The was a total fail fo r u re , Mable . We fired at the range three r risin months an never hit it . That aint su p cause I never se e nothin except some trees in front o f the guns and we always fired over those . When they finally got wise and put some in fantry o ut there for uS to fire at we missed them ab so

l t el . u y Fired e v e rythin in front o f them . D ont say nothin about this cause it might get into the papers and cheer up the Kizer . Its all C a in f the pt s alt . I guess he thought he had an

Aunty Air Kraft battery. That fello comes from R Far ockaway and he lives in the last house . The last m o rnin we fired the Lieutenant says I o was battery agent . It seemed kind f silly to me to bother about sellin stuff while we was firin but f thats the Lieutenant . He got away be ore I could ask him what I was to sell . I bought a lot o f p o p and crackers and stuff and tried to sell em to the 176

” S LL E R E 1 THAT ME A OV , MABL 79

e llo firin . f s, while they was The first sargent w as wouldnt let me . I told him I battery agent but not him . That fello wont have to wear no steel helmut when he gets to France . I ate it all myself . If the Lieutenant is goin to keep me as battery agent now were back Im goin to ask him if I cant rig up a little Office . I wouldnt be surprised if they had me up in Washington pretty soon . Lots o f the fe llo s say they ought to send me some

Im itin . . where . r up to N Y where theres a place where they make sofa pillo s with fellO S go in over the top on em and gold rings with your girls name on em free fo r a dollar twenty The last week o n the range we lived in pup h e f tents . A pup tent Mable is like t roo o f a dog house without the house . They call em pup tents cause no o ne but a very young do g would o n be fool enough to Sleep under e . There made out o f a couple of pieces O f stuff like what you make porus nit underclothes o ut of . You button em together if theres any button s . It dont make much difference as far as keepin the rain out is concerned . The only thing they do to the rain is to strain it . I guess these pup tents we got is an Old issue e what was wished o n us by the Jap ane z army . When an ordinary Sized fello lies down in o ne “ 180 S ME ALL R THAT OVE , MABLE

( and thats all yo u can do in em) hes o ut doors from the nees down . The Major came round

Sunday night . I guess he made a mistake and h e t ought it was Saturday . Th res a rule that M ajors only come round on Saturday caus e they “ bother the men . The Maj or says I guess well blow taps an hour early tonight cause the men is ” “ all in An I says back right Out loud There aint anybody goin to get all in these things , you b e big overgrown boob , only he happened to away down the street and didnt hea r me . It didnt ff make no di erence to me though . I said it any way . High spirited . Thats me all over , Mable . MacKenz ie sk o tch Angos , the fello , says that k o sk o tch these is s t ch pup tents . The he says dont ever wear nothin below the nees . I guess Angus aint a pure Skot though cause I heard him and Joe Loomis arguin thi s m o rnin cause Angus had swiped Joes horse blanket to wrap round his legs . o u It rained f r three days before we left . Y o

o f . could have squoze water out my pistol , Mable

They say a fello is two thirds water anyway . I 100 bet I was 9 9 and ninety nine per cent pure , eh Mable "

Monday mo t uin we hiked back to camp . They got us up so early I thought they was b lo win taps .

Th e Lieutenant was awful sore . I guess a drop

” ME ALL R 1 THATS OVE , MABLE 83

O f water came through h is tent somewhere during the night and lit o n him . He looks at me and “ “

s . ays As you were , Smith All I says was Ill

n . ever be again , Lieutenant They made me a driver the last minit o n the hike comin home . I guess there breakin me in to every place SO S they can let the rest o f the furlo battery home on and let me do all the work , from the looks o f it . They showed me t w o horses hitched to the gun and told me they was R min e . ight away I seen that the right hand horse was all hitched up and there wasnt nobody SO there to ride him . when the sargent says he “ w as all ready I says No we aint . I aint goin till the fello what rides this horse is here . Theres enough favorites being played in the bat ” t e ry no w .

That showed the Lieutenant where I stood . He said the fello what usually drove the hors e a o n e sh l ilin i w s sp u duty co up fir n lines . When he put it that way I agreed to lead the right hand t o horse in camp . Angus says they call the right hand horse the o ff horse because the fello what rides him is always o ff doin so m e th in else . He aint the only fello whats o ff round here though .

o . I can tell y u that , Mable Theres a ro o m o r around here that were going o to Honey Lulu . J e Loomis has sent for his 1 S ME ALL R 84 THAT OVE , MABLE

l h e s o rde rin Uk ayla y. Angus says a grass cutter to take with him SO S he can make hisself o ne o f those grass suits over there . I guess the next time I rite it will be from there . yours till then

ME ALL R 186 THATS OVE , MABLE

so only mother I ever had C aptin . I said it i sad that I almost got myself c ry n . An the Cap tin says Well Smith , you been workin pretty hard an need a change . Ill give you a ten day furlo to go home to the funeral . Nice fello the Cap tin when you get to know him . Im comin up Mable just as soon as I can bor row enough close and the like . It seemed to me when I used t o lay o ut my stu ff fo r in sp e ck shun Saturday m o rnins that I had enough junk to equip f ff the dra t army . I just been lookin over my stu to find so m e thin to wear home . It makes a fello i feel half nak d . Im going to borrow the money to buy my rail road ticket SO you see the trip aint going to cost me a cent . I bet youll be glad to have someone round who aint Sk are d to change a quarter once in a while .

Its kind of hard to get a suitcase . Theres o ne only in the batte ry . The fello what owns it 2 says its made the trip north 5 times . From the o looks f it hes modest . Else the last fello tied it to the end o f the train and let it drag all the fi . x way I guess I can it with rope though . Then Joe Loomis ha s a uni form that he paid o ib fifteen dollars for . It looks like an o cers unless y u wear it in the rain . Joe s in the guard house so Im go ing to take it an no t say ” E ALL R 18 THATS M OVE , MABLE 7

"

fo r . nothin . I guess Joe d do the same a pal Besides he aint g o t no kick comin cause theres a rule that we cant speak to prisoners . Joe got put in t h e guard house fo r burnin down the stable tent where they keep the horses serial . He w as sittin in the stable tent while he was o n stable guard c atchin a smoke . Stable guard i s a kind o f night bell hop and chamber maid to the O flice o D a horses . He heard the r f the y comin and stuck his cigaret but in an o at bag . Then the

a Ke n z i whole thing burnt down . Angus M c e says thats what he gets for b idin his light under a o t bushel Thats a sk ch j oke though . I guess o u y wouldnt get it .

Angu s is lendin me a pair o f Spiral puttys . A spiral putty is a fl annel bandage what you wind round your leg SO S nobody cant se e that the but ff tons is O en your trouser legs . The fello what made em must have had queer legs cause when yo u get to the t o p there aint no place to fasten f l o them . I guess they were built fo r e l s that was A goin to stand still . S soon as you move they unwind and drag in the dust till a horse steps o n o ne O f them . Then you do em up again . f I started savin thri t stamps . I got pretty near f two books ull . Angus says its got it all over

United Segar cupons . When you get enough you get some dandy things . I wrote the premium de S ME ALL R 188 THAT OVE , MABLE

n . D . . o o ne o p artm e t at Wash C f r f their catalogs .

I want to get a mandolin as soon as I get enough .

Jo e Loomis is savin for a Uk aylaly. I hope it takes more stamp s than he can ever save . Be Were getting some new draft men now . tween you an m e there an awful dum bunch . They dont kn ow the difference between squads se e e llo s right and fall in . I dont how f can live a s long as they have an n o t know these Simple things . f llo s A few of them is Jewish e from New York . All they think about is how they can get some post o f llo s cards f the camp and sell em to the e . A coupl e Of them sold ther e equipment the minit o ne o they was issued it . Angus says f them was o n guard the other night and a fello came a long . “ ” and He stopped him says Halt, whose there " “ “ o h an the fell w says Friend . An e says Advance , h ” t e . b e friend , an give discount Youd hardly

l e t . iev tha , Mable But bein a girl I suppose you

u k no in t . wo ld , not w no hin about the military SO I aint goin to rite yo u no more cause theres no sense ridin up o n the train with my o wn letters . Im I got a lower bunk all hired . goin to have it made up before we leave the station an I aint Philo o lis goin to get up till we pull into p . If the fello in the upper bunk aint got sense enough to stay in bed h e can Sit on the edge o f th e bunk and

” ME ALL R 1 THATS OVE , MABLE 9 1

fo whissle r all I care . An the lord help the porter if he calls me cause he aint no first sargent

an Id just as soon tell him so . Frank . Thats me all over , Mable . I suppose your father and mother will be e tickled to s e me . Theyll think Im comin home to marry you . I guess yo u know I would if I had time . Besides I dont believe in gettin mar ried before the war cause like as not Ill be killed . I dont want you to worry though o r nothin like that . Youd be in a nice mess then though with your fathers liver o n your hands an no V isib ul means o f support . I g o t to stop no w an borrow some money to

come home on . I think Pat Smiths got some . Hed be awful sore if he knew I was goin home on f his urlo . I just found your pictur at the bottom of my barrack bag . It gave me an awful Shock first .

Then I remembered that my hob " nailed shoes had been sitt in on it . I wouldnt care though even if you did look like that . Sense before beauty .

all . Thats me over , Mable yours till I see you D ere Mab le This is the last time Ill take my pen in hand to rite for some time . I aint allowed to tell you why . This letters got to be awful Short cause I aint SO s iz e allowed to say nothin . Theres many p round liste nin that I aint even allowed to tell you that we got o ur orders an were goin to F e .

Were goin to fight the G s . I aint even allowed to tell you h o w were goin except that its by boat . Even thats awful con

fi e n h l s iz d s u . If the p e heard about it theyd prob ably blow up all the boats SO S to make sure o f gettin the right one . Angu s says the top sargents got orders to take us right into the front line trenches . I guess there goin to t ry an finish this thing up right away . I guess Ill probably get killed pretty f quick . Ill eel a lot better if I know your not w o rryin an th ink in o f me lyin m o rt aly wounded in a Shell hole as I probably Shall be . so o n f r o An now I cant come home my u l , C a tin Mable . I knew the p had a string tied to it o somewhere . If theres any way f gettin into 19 2

D ere Mab le

I take up my pen to rite yo u. From the w ay I feel I dont think Ill be takin things up much I n sa m o . longer . on a boat w They y we are goin to France but we been goin tw o days now and

I aint seen no land yet . Joe Loomis thinks that theres German proper gander in it . He says that they got us o ut here and there goin to keep us goin round and round till the wars over . It seems kind o f Silly to rite you cause I cant use mail this till I get to France . It wont be no then cause by the looks o f things now Ill probably be flirting with a couple o f mermaids in D avy U f s Jones Lock p long be ore that . That a

. o naughty call joke though , Mable Y u wouldnt understand it . AS far as I can find o ut there sending the whole army over on this ship . Most of them sleeps in the room with me from the noise . They got it

fixed. up cozy like an opium den o r a morgue . There piled up three high and the o nly thing that f stops them there is the roo . o n Were a German boat . I bet it makes them sore Mable to se e o ne of there o wn boats bringin 19 4 ” ME ALL E R 1 THATS OV , MABLE 9 5

fe O c over ll S like me . The Germans is pe uliar people . They got Sines all over the boat . On some o f the doors upstairs they got Herren painted . Youd never catch an American boat c a r in r y fish right on the passenge r floor . On some o f the other doors they go t sines what says o t o f Bad . I guess they run u these before they came to the place where I sleep . It dont seem reasonable t o let fish have a room with mab ogo huny doors and a fello with tw o legs Sle epm where o D I do . Some f the rooms has amen rote on them . Joe Loomis what lives on the canvas above me says thats the o nly German he ever agreed with .

I aint been really sick yet . I aint give up hopes

. MacKe nz ie sk tch o t though Angus , the o fello , g so worried because he felt all right that he went se e o i up to the doctor this m rn n . I cant rite much cause the C aptin told us the cent r so would read our letters . I dont know who he is . I guess hes a German . Of course hell i read em f we dont seal em . I guess well get blown up before we go much

f . urther I dont want you to worry though . I m e nsh n Y o just u it . u got enough on your hands w ith your father in bed with his liver again and no t me a round to cheer you up . Yours to the last bubble D e re Mab le

Were all balled up . There aint no doubt now that its German Proper Gander workin . We been runnin three days now and no Sign Of land yet . I wouldnt be surprised if we woke up some m o rnin in Chick awg o o r some other place o n the

Specific coast . I aint Sick yet . I dont seem to f need as much ood as I used to , though . Im gettin on t o t his naughty call stuff fast .

Quick . Thats me all over , M able . Theres a few things about the boat though that I dont know o o f yet . For instance they got pipes comin ut the deck all over like Sib ly stoves upside down .

I thought they was for rubbish . I w as just re markin to Jo e Loomis how neat they was to have such things . We was makin a point o f pickin up everything we saw and firin it down them . Then o ne o f the Ships Officers came along and " you d ought to have he rd him . Youd have t r in in thought we was y to blow up the old tug, stead o f keepin it clean for him . He said the funnels was fo r c arryin fresh ai r t o the mens o n e quarters . I says I guessed the that carried 19 6

S ME AL L R ” THAT OVE , MABLE 19 9 air down to o ur quarters got clogged before we started .

They close all the windows every night . Angus MacK enz ie th e sk o tc SO S th , h fello , says that e Germans wont fire to rp e to e s through the wind o ws o kin and land o n o ur beds . Thats a j way he has o s e ak i o f p n o f the pieces o f canvas we Sleep n .

Were h av in a race with another boat . Its awful close . We been racin now ever since we started and neither o f us has gained yet . I here the engineers has a bet o f five dollars o n who o n h gets in first . I dont know who can be t e e other boat cause w got the whole army on ours .

Well , M able , I got to quit now cause were liable to be sub " marined and blown to pieces any i i ff n n t . o I want to get this before we Sink .

D ont worry about me . Yours till I touch bottom W O R L D W I D E. W I Q E L E S S

s w r

P " MAR CONI TE L EGRA H CABLE CO IN C . I N C O N N E C T IO N W IT H MAR CO NI WIR E L ES S T E L E GRAP H CO MPA NY O F A ME R IC A

Re c e i ve d at Ph i l o p o l i s

De re Mab l e

Not f e e l i n we l l t o d ay s o am s e nd i n

t i s n h i s t e a d o f r i t i n . Ai nt s e a s i c k . J us t

s ome t h i n t h e ma t t e r wi t h m s t ummi k y c . An gus

Ma c Ke nz i e k o , s t c h f e l l o s ays t h a t s me a l l

o e r Mab l e . I s a s i t s a l l o r w h v , y v e i t me .

Br i t and f unn t o t h l gh y e as t . E h , Mab l e .

" G e s s we l l a l l b e s unk s o o n n ow u . It l l b e

a c h an e t o h a e s om t hi n o i n d o w g v e g n . I

c ant s ay any mor e c aus e t h i s i s c o s t i n me

1 o l l ar a wo o l n d r d . W u d t h av e s a i d

t h i s muc h b ut I b o rr o we d t h e mo ne y f r o m J o e

L o omi s H . e d h av e s pe nt i t f o r s ome t h i n f o o l i s n h w h a y o .

Your s t hr o ugh al l U p s an d d o wns

ME ALL R M 202 THATS OVE , ABLE

on their bonnets and do wear pants . But he sk o t aint got no call to talk about pure s . I We all got issued tin hats before we left . n e r l guess theyll give us sheet iron u d c o se next . It takes a long time to wea r a tin hat without n hurti yourself . If you move quick it slides down over your eyes and bursts you in the nose . Thats

I . why they , charge in a walk guess They got ki mus to nettin inside 3 03 it wont hurt your head . If yo u take that o ut it makes a good wash basin o r a mess kit . Joe Loomis and Angus got arguin claim in yesterday , Joe that they was no good and An gus claim in that you couldnt hurt a guy what

n n . had o e o . Angus got so sore he bet a quarter T O decide it Joe put o n his hat and let Angus hit o n him the bean with a piece o f lead pipe . Joe always was lucky . He won the quarter and now hes livin on A deck where the hospital is . An the D r. says he aint got a chance o f dyin which is I more than most o f us can say. guess theyll

o t o . sink us today . I g to quit n w

Yours till the third time down , D ere Mab le

Were in the same place we was yesterday . I d know it n o w with my eyes shut . It looks like we was movin but Jo e Loomis says thats just the f water goin past the boats . A ello told me we was in the Gulf stream . If we are its some creek cause yo u cant se e no banks . o n no Im b e innin We been four days w . g to feel like the Ainshunt Mourner . We lie round on the fl oor o f one o f the lower piazzas all day and o f read books from the library . Most them is e o about the lives o f f ll s whats dead . That aint right for a bunch what expects to be with em any minit . Once a day we go up o n o ne of the upper piaz zas to exercise . A fello might as well t ry to " in i n o n swing d u clubs the five o clock subway . The only exercise you can do without knockin o ff the head o f the fello next to you is eyes right and eyes left . C a in The pt is always talkin about goin below . c u Se i how we all may any minit , it aint no time for “ o k in j about it . He says to me yesterday Smith , fix me up a list o f spaces fo r all my men down 203 20 S ME ALL R 4 THAT OVE , MABLE

C a tin " w . belo Aint that the p all over , M able He wont be satisfied till he has em all tagged and numbered and doing squads east and west in D avy U Jones Lock p . Jo e Loomis has his girls pictur pasted on the

n back o f his tin lookin glass . He lies o his bunk fello s f all day gapin at it . Some make aw ul asses o Ma f themselves about there girls . Angus c

sk o t ch f Sh av in Kenzie , the ello , had the mirror the other day . It swung round while he wasnt lookin and when he looked in it again he got an awful start . h n I They av t sunk us yet . guess there just foolin with us . Perhaps it will happen today . D ont worry though . Yours till you here otherwise

D e re Mab le I feel the same way the Knights of C olumbus must have felt when they was disco v e rin North sailin ishin America . Just round in circles and w f they had never le t N . Y Were goin through an f s aw ul bumpy part o f the ocean now . Joe Loomi says theres a lot of t raflic through here and these big boats cuts it all up . Thats how ignorant that

t o . fello is , Mable . Its gettin colder all the time I wouldnt be surprised if we had got turned north by mistake and would land up in L ab o rdo o r or m e th in so .

One o f the boat o flice rs is called the E xe cu io ne ffi t r O cer . Every day most he comes round and says its half an hour earlier than it is . Thats l N o the way those fe lo s use t here aw th o rity. body dasnt contradict them . I guess thats the

f . way these boats make records so o ten , Mable When they se e they aint goin to make a record they just shove the clock back . Id go over in nothin if I was the C aptin and get it over with o n quick . I wish I could have made c track s like f that when I was home . If a ello came to me “ ” and says Your co nt rack is up today Id just look 207 ME ALL R 208 THATS OVE , MABLE

“ at him and say You must be mistaken . This is yesterday . Joe Loomis has it figured out that if we keep o n losing time well get there last winter . Mac K en z ie sk o tch Angus , the fello , says theres no danger in that though , cause if they ever find th emselves workin back towards last pay day theyll go ahead fo r a while . Angus says that ev ery time they set us back half an hour the government skins every man out o f

ick l . n u . pretty near a It aint the money , Mable A n ick ul never meant nothin t o me o ne way o r the other as yo u ought to know b etter than any o n i " e . Isnt it a cheap way to Wh o v e r z e though Joe says t hat if it keeps o n bein as cold as thi s he aint goin to get o ff when they sink us . He says he rather stay down in the bedrooms and be drowned than get all wet with that ice water and o r then have a cold f the rest o f the war . o t fi Well , M able , I g to quit now . A ghter needs a lot o f sleep . Yours till the war ends

2 10 ME ALL R THATS OVE , MABLE there bound t o crown me with a seaweed wreath Im w aitin as goin to keep em as long I can . The fello what hung em must have had arms like a munk e y cause there hangin about six feet from the side .

These Germans must have been awful tanks , o t o ne M able . They g whole floor they call saloon deck . Of course the saloons is gone now . When they made the ship over they had to get rid of all the luxuries to make room . They got the bars o ut o f the saloons and the o fiice rs eat there . A fello came down stairs the other night and told us about the war . He said we was all comin over to fight to make the world safe for the

D emocrats . If thats the case Mable your father must be an ailin enemy .

Well , Mable , they tell us that if we aint sunk n pretty soon were goin to get there . I guess the I w‘ont b e able to rite you for a few d ays caus e itll take me a little while t o get settled in t h e trenches and get my dug out fixed up nice . I hope they give us a part o f the line near the sta tion cause I dont like those troop trains . Yours t ill I write again “ ” m s TAILOR MUST HAVE BEEN A BOILER MAKER ONCE

1 ME ALL R 2 4 THATS OVE , MABLE there was not enough water to drown us all w e could empty o ut these . O ff Were just a few miles shore , but I cant tell yo u just where . This is partly because I dont know . Joe Loomis says were comin into London ,

MacK e nz ie sk o tch f but Angus , the ello , says it aint London . He thinks its Paris . I dont think so though cause if it was youd se e the Ethel

Tower . Y o u want to be careful when you address let ters to me . If you address me too plain there liable t o get to me and yo u cant tell who might o n be lookin . About all you can say the address f E ar o ut . E . as as I can find is Bill Smith , A , which means Am Expecting Flowers . I got to quit now cause were gettin near shore and the Sanita ry O fficer ast me to help him sweep o t u the boat when the other fello s is gone . Of O b li in course I said I would . g . Thats me all I . m over , M able As soon as I get ashore going to buy o n e O f them John Brown belts you here so much about . I dont know when Ill be able to write t o you again cause I understand there s a bat tle o n n o w so I guess Ill be pretty busy for some time to come .

Yours till I rite again , M L D E H M "” SA E O BILL, ABLE

2 18 PR EFACE the Meus e and the drea ry mud " spattered monot s ony o f the Army o f Occupation . The great mas o f the American a rmy saw but a few brief weeks

Of fighting during O ctober and November . Thou O e sands f other Bills , equally brav and more m eager because it was denied the , never heard o the sound f guns except on the target range . This is not a treatis e o n International R ela is n o t tions . It is not a chronology o f b attles . It o a mem rial o f brave deeds . It i s merely a few impressions Of Pvt . William Smith , Buck , placed in a situation so new , so incomparable , that it had o ne o f wiser men than he guessing . He was “ " thos e who left their reas o ns for being there to be analyzed by men not so occupied in th e e e business Of ke ping alive . He would hav been bored to death i f yo u had tried to explain them t s to him anyway. His loyal y and p atrioti m were so unquestioned that its discussion was ab surd . Sentimental , yet so sensitive to Obvious sentimentality that he died many times making o fun f the things that he was dying for. D e re Mab le

Were in sunny France at last . I cant tell you much about it yet o n account o f its h av in been so eb o at foggy since w e got her e . We didnt d in x n Paris as I was e p e cti . We sailed up a river to a town with a wall around it and got o ff there . I dont kn o w what the wall was for unless to keep c e rtinl o ne people in . They y wouldnt need to e keep anybody out o f that plac . Were now in what they call a rest camp . If this is restin then all they s ay about wa r is true . For the last two days weve been unp ack'in Y h a nt re fre shin boats . o u v any idear how it is i to pil e up about 5 m lyo n case s o f corn Willie . Ive been puttin o n weight ever since I got here but its all been on my back . Some o f the fe llo s think they got us mixed up o ne o D with f these Ste v a ora regiments . It dont tin seem to worry the C ap much . Theres no rea so n it h e n should tho . All has to do is to sit o a L D E H '” 2 20 SAME O BILL, MABLE box an keep t h e quartermaster fr o m gettin over stocked o u cigars . The day we got in they tied us o ut in the mid f dle o f the river . They le t us there so long that there was a roomer the war was over an we was t goin to urn around an go home . When it comes to takin that trip right over agen I say o n with the war . We lay aro und there so long I w as b e ginnin to feel like the keeper o f a light ship . Then they got into an awful hurry all o f a sudden an piled pretty near the whole boat load onto o n e coal Biliti o fic e . barge . Our n r met u s at the dock Hed been over here a month gettin things fixed h up fo r us . From the way he acted youd think e was the fello that invented the war . After that we got o ut in the country and marched till my p ack gained a hundred an fifty o pounds an my tung wa s lyin n my chest . Joe s aid we needed a rest camp a fter a hike like that . six o r When wed walked about miles , killen me t ters as they call them over here , we urned into a Bilitin O fice r s bar e field . The aid that wa s the camp . Th e Ca tin Just then it started to rain . p told t h e o T p to make us all comfortable . Then he remembered some busines s in town and went away before he had a chance t o hear any first Bilitin O fice r imp re shun s about rest camps . The must have wore himself o ut findin us a nice place

” 222 S L D E H AME O BILL, MABLE "

like this with only a month to do it in . Id like to se e what hed turn out i f he only had a coupl e

o . f days . It rained all night When I get home Ill be able to put in a good night in the swimmi n pool o f a Turks bath . The next m o rnin we started in o n intensive o restin . We unpacked a whole boat ut onto a dock . Then some General came along . I guess he thought we still looked a little peaked . He “ says Just run that stuff into the shed across the tracks The place he called a shed would have made a nic e hanger for the N e w York Central h n stas u . They tell m e no w were n o t goin right up to o t the front . We g to go to school agen to learn something . If I had a diploma for every school I been to in the last year my room would look like a de ntle parlor . The French seem glad to se e us but they cant express themselves very well . They dont seem to talk the same kind o f French the fello learned h us in t e Y . M . C . A . last winter There all n t o o mixed up o ther e money . About the only way a fello can buy anything is to hold o ut all hes got and let them take what they want . I g uess theyll never overcharge me by takin all I can hold out .

is. o n . The whole sistem based the Sue , Mable As near as I can make out a Sue aint worth any a C a t hing . A hundred Sues make entimeter an ” M O L D E H M ' 22 SA E BILL, ABLE 3

hundred Centimeters make a Frank . Five Franks make a dollar only no w they dont . That gives you an idear how simple it is t o go into a store an figg e r what you can buy with a quarter . I hea r the battery comin back so I guess Ill quit this and fall in o n the tail o f the colyum . It isnt that I wouldnt just as soon have them all C a tin know where Ive been , but it makes the p r n feel a lot better to have me there at fo m ashu s. Yours if I survive the rest Bill

D e re M ab le

ra elin If you ever have to do any t v in France , walk . I dont suppose you ever took a five day trip in an open trolly . We traveled five days an all the t im e straight away from the front . First we thought we w as goin to Italy but we must o have passed t hat long ag . They finally landed us in a little town with about a hundred people , i se e fifty cows an no p ctur show . The more I of this country the more patriotic I get . The train w e came down o n looked like one I o had when I was a kid on tracks . Y u felt some body ought to get o ut an wind the engine every stashuns time it stopped . Whenever we got to a lot of fe llo s in long coats would come o ut an o f blow whissels. Sometimes wed start but most f th e time n othin happened . At last I ound a j ob fo r th e T o p sargent when the wa r is over . ” 22 S LD E H " 4 AME O BILL, MABLE

Th e c a e I s 2n an r . ars r marked t , d 3 d class Th e difference is that the wheel s o n the I st class a n f 2n h s only got o e lat side . The d class has got rd e two , an the 3 class wheels a re square . W rd ride in the 3 class . Luckily the cars has only o got four wheels . There so short y u couldnt get o any more under them if y u wanted to . are There freight cars all Ford models to . On the doors they g o t painted Hommes 4 0 Chevaux

Thats French fo r 4 0 men an 8 horses . That struck me as funny till I figg e re d o ut that they probably pack five men between each hors e 5 05 n so they wont rattle rou d much . Of course nobody could ever collect tickets o n SO a train like this . they got a saloon in every st ashun inste d o o fli ce e f a ticket . They mak the road pay on those The first time w e stopped Angus got O ff an bought a bottle of Vinro o g e wine . Thats a drink the French use . They must wash in it to cause I h av nt seen any water since I e been her . o f ne fe llo s th e Marv Motel , one the w in bat t e r o r e y, s aid if you could get two thre quarts of that under your belt it would act like a couple o f b o ttle o s f beer an help you to sleep . So at the next stashun Angus got enuff for thre e qu arts apiece . The Vinro o ge wine a cted the way Ma rv said it would only h e must have meant two case s O f inst beer e d o f two bottles . It put everybody to

” 2 OLD E H ' 2 6 SAME BILL, MABLE

e nisth e tic H sleep lik an a but Angus . e k ept awake to finish what was left . The last I saw o f him h e was singin Sk o tch songs out the windo at the Engineer . One nice thing about these trains o o a h i s the T p cant get at y u between st s uns. Y o u ought t o have seen that bunch the next r n e n c a in m o ni . It would have been an awful o ur g site for the Kiser . Everybody had a beard o n o f o ut both sides his face , inside an an they wasnt talkin any more than was necessary t o c all some body something . About noon they got us o ut at some stashun $ 03 the C ap tin could give us the devil for not n keepin eat an clean . Nobody minded much cause he didnt look as tho hed spent the night in n o dry cleaners himself . sat Well , Mable , we just there for three days o an three nights . I began to think we must be g in Th home by the overland root . e only reason we didnt murder nobody w as because we didnt have room . Eve ry once in a while wed stop at a st ashun an s ome red cross nurses would bring ff around c o ee . Only they wasnt red an they o f so se e wasnt cross . Most us was glad to a woman that we could say something t o besides “ ” e sh Ah We that we didn t m n un the coffee . Its funny what youll take from a woman when it would be death fo r a mess sargent . The C aptin said wed have to stay in this town a week or two on account of th e school were g o ” S M OL D E H " 2 A E BILL, MABLE 2 7

Bilitin o fice r in to bein full . The came down ahead as usual . This time he only had two days . After se e in what he could do in a month we didnt o f ro o min expect much . We got it . Ten us are in a hay barn . The only good thing about it is that when your in bed the T o p sargent cant tell wet her your there o r no t without takin out all the hay . As soon as we got here I noticed something awful strong an it wasnt no geranium bed ether . o h o w Were getting used to it n w . You can tell rich a Frenchman is by the size Of his manure pile . There so proud o f them they se t them right o ut side there w indo s so s they can sit an watch them an never forget them . The bigger the pile the bigger man you are in your home town . All I can say is Im glad the people we live with is i b le t e . poor . Id hate to be d with the Mayor n o w O f I got to quit . The sensor cuts out most sa O ff o f this anyway . They y he tears half every letter to lighten the mails . au reservoir as th e French say Bill

D e re Mab le Id have rote yo u sooner only th e senso r wont let me tell where I am an I couldnt think o f noth in else to say. This is the third letter Ive rote I o since we landed . m a little worried ab ut the other t wo cause th e C aptin said we couldnt men ” 2 A D E H 2 8 S ME O L BILL, MABLE "

th SO shun e names of no places . I just addre ss ed them to Mable Gimp , nothin else . In cas e yo u dont receive letters like that I wish l o ti youd e t me know . Then I w nt be exp e c n any Riti t answer . n le ters from here is like talkin to a th e fello over fone that aint there . Im lan i e having a little trouble with the gug .

Its tricky . A lot of these French words is the same as ours only they dont mean the same thing. “ ” “ ” “ Like Pan an We an Mercy an Toot ” t sweet . As soon as I find what h e words stand fo r Ill be all right . Some o f the fe llo s dont seem to get onto the idear of this thing at all . They think if they talk like th ey had an egg in there mouth an put in o o in lots f z s its French . Take J e Loomis for stance . He talks like a German thats lived with the French C anadians for a while . Hell go into “ a G e e e z e a lunch room an s y v me beef stak rar , ” " e mit ze o n yon . Then he gets sor when they put the wine list in front o f him . It aint th e wine list tha t makes him sore O f e c cours . He cant get over the American ustom tho O f c atin with h is meals . The first three days we was here we didnt have no guns nor horses or nothin . I thought perhaps the Captin would give us a chance to get over that rest camp , but he seems to have an idea r tho that just so many o f us has got to be killed in the war an the quicker he gets it over with the better .

” 2 M L D E H M " 3 0 SA E O BILL, ABLE ning they take home anything th e cows has left in ro s an Old wh e e lb ar . I gues by that time there dirty enuff to wash agen cause there always washin

and you dont se e no results . We spend all o ur tim e now drillin with thos e ff littl e guns . Of course there di erent from those we had in th e States so everything we learned e As over ther has to b e forgot . far as I can mak e o ut w e might as well have lea rned basket we av in fo r t h all e good it did us .

Well , Mable , have as good a time as you can h o at home . I know w tiresom e those b roken ello winded f s must be . Id go around with them o tho once in a while in case they should ask y u. D emocratic . Thats me all over , Mable . Its the only thing your father an me has got in common . Besides it will make it seem all the better when I get home . Xours in spite of thes e things Bill

D e re Mab le I guess your last letter must have been sen o t sored to death cause I never g it . I been over here three weeks now an the only letter I got fo e was a bill r some flowers I sent you a y ar ago . That fello would make m ore money as a detective

e s then a fl o w ri t . I bet hed have found Charlie R Ch arlie h im oss if d owed any money . I expect to be sittin propped up ag enst the wall some day B EAT TH E BUTTON S OFF THEM WITH A BIG BOARD “ S E H ” 23 2 AME OLD BILL, MABLE " in th e Old Soldiers Hom e an about six po stmm e ri h e will com e st agg n in t e gat with my mail . i in c n Ke ep on r t tho . I a always turn it over to t some historical socie y. Saturday an Sunday w as the end O f the week so the C aptin let a few of us g o in to a big town near i here to take a b ath . Hes always t ry n to stick a littl e extra duty like that into a mans p rivate e tim . Me an An gus an Marv Motel went down to gether in a truck . I dont suppose you ever road tw o r ello b e t in a truck with only othe f s in it . I it goes fa rther up an down then straight ahead. Angus was all fo r se e in th e town as soon as w e e t n th e t got ther , hat bei about only hing that e o omiz e didnt involve spendin money. W c mpr d se e in re stawrant s by the first . Its i t o th e e at t interesting to l ssen French , hey e so e e e njoy things . Ev ryon tu ck s ther napkins under there chins like you r father used t o b e fore inste he had a hired girl d o f your mother . en The Fr ch is awful optimistic eaters. By takin eve rything Separate they can work them elie i Se lves into b v n theyve had a course dinner . If they had such a thing a s o atmeal an cream I b et theyd make yo u eat the oatmeal first an s drink the cream a fterward . Every t ime yo u look away you get a clean t a e st r plate . All you need to star r aw ant in a Th e France is a thou sand plates an dozen e ggs .

” 2 O L D E H 3 4 SAME BILL, MABLE " rest O f the food doesnt matter much About D f everything you ask for i s e ended . That ” t o th e seems be same as Just out in American . In most places its just a question o f how long yo u can think o f things to ask for before yo u end o le t up with an m . The only place you can get co o k in is real French M able in the States .

Theres a bunch Of French soldiers in town . Most o f them have beards an little bags hangin all over them . I wish theyd let us wear beards . Y o u wouldnt have to go round with your collar buttoned all the time then . When I first got into town I thought it must b e a holiday o r s o mething cause the saloons was o o in o t r v e rfl w right u on the sidewalks . Eve y ink i body was sittin round at little tables dr n beer . I went in o ne tho an there wasnt a soul inside in i n e r l m ix n . o e but flies . It c t y is In place a fello wont take a drink unless he can go behind a screen . Over here he wont have it anywhere o se e but in the middle f the street . I can your father sittin o ut o n Main street in a wicker chair with a stein o f beer in his hands . Well Mable at the rate Im n o t re ce iv in mail I wont be able to tell wether its last winter or next winter that your talkin about when I finally g et Im to n i i your letters . going keep o r t n tho just to annoy the sensor. Yours in haste Bill ” M O LD E H " 2 SA E BILL, MABLE 3 5

D e re Mab le In a training camp once more b e ginin all over f agen . I we had a school system like this in civil f li e a fello would never live t o finish high school .

Were not livin in stables any more . They got us now in long stone b uildins with wood cots in h e ad ar them . I suppose somebody back at qu ters heard O f soft pine an thought it would be a

good thing for makin beds . I feel as full of o l bones as an d herrin .

We didn t have to pull the guns over after all . n They tied them o behind trucks . I w as makin up a nice bed for myself in the back o f a truck when tin e rt inl b e the C ap stuck his head in . He c y isin hi lie v e s in ex e rc s neck . As soon as he saw f I was com ortable he says Smith , you ride on ” the end caisson an watch the brake . There w as no use tellin him Id seen the darn thing every day fo r two weeks . He thinks he knows e ve rything . Of course youve never ridden o n a caisson tied behind a truck . You never went hitchin with a bob sled behind an express train in the middle o f summer nether . It was just luck that the Old thing happened to be unde r me every time I came down . Some times it would go crazy an run from o n e side o f the road to the other like it w as look in fo r a chance t o pass the truck . I dont kn o w what would have happened i f the rope hadnt busted . That caisson must have thought it was a

. o ff ran a tank It turned right the road , over A O LD L E H "” 23 6 S ME BI L, MABLE

t o d e a e d e little ditch an tried im tre . It idnt h av the build tho an quit . Th e next thing I remember the C aptin was say “ are t r in in Smith , what you y to do with that "” caisson , smash it Just as if Id swiped the darn o thing to go f r a j oy ride . r e o Well , Mable , your lette cam at last . Fr m the looks o f it they must have dragged the mail e inl nt e re ti bag all the way . That c rt y was i s n about that poor young fello Archi e Wainwright . It must be awful t o have a murmur in your heart o when you want t go to war so bad . Tell him no t to worry about missin the w ar cause when I get back Ill show him so much about it hell feel like a veteran in half an hour an his family will be hangin o ut a se rvice flag . We just got ishue d two new L o o tenants inside to e o f a week . Its gettin harder an harder rit Fo r anything inte re stin that youll understand . instance the first L o o t e n ant was a 2nd and th e st o second L o o t en ant was a I . That shows y u how t e cknickle it all is but of course its over you r he ad

" like a shower bath . O ne o f the L o o te nants cam e over as a casulty fi Sam o ce r. He just came now from Moores Col lege of Artile ry over here in France . They turn n them o ut o f there like Fords . If he k ows as much as he admits he does I dont se e why they bother to put a high priced fell o like Fosh in c ommand for .

” 2 L D E H " 3 8 SAME O BILL, MABLE

Were bein learned mostly by French o ficers. h C a t There aw ful polite . I wis the p in could hear

them . Joe says he was made a gentleman by an o fi act f Congress when they made him an O cer. ce rtinl o Congres s y has a lot f power in war time . In t h e a rmy your not supposed t o be able to use anything till you know how its made . You dont know h o w to put o n a gas mask till yo u know whats in the t in box an who was th e first e o r fello to use it . You cant talk ove r a fon till y u able to sit down an make one o ut o f an old cigar an o box a piece f balin wire .

I never knew so little about so much in my life . Y o u sit her e all day an lissen to a fello tell yo u how if yo u multiply something by enuff other things you can hit a Fritz in the stumm ick three

n . miles aw ay . Everythings tricky about this gu In ste d o f shootin where you want to hit like a o m man y u look at a thermometer an a baro eter , add em together an look up the result in a little

lm an ak o . pink a . That tells y u where to shoot I dont lik e this mystick stuff. Frank and strait

o . t . f rward Tha s me all over, Mable They just ishue d u s overseers caps an rapped o ne e leggins . Theres good thing about thes over Y o ut o f s seers caps . o u cant put them hape like the felt hats cause they never had any shape to sa begin with . I cant y much in favor of the rapped leggins tho fo r a fello that never h ad any experience with first aid or nothin . ” M OLD E H " 2 SA E BILL, MABLE 3 9

I cant se e any sense tho in ishuin close like a ishue pictur puzzle . They might just as well your coat an pants in se ck shuns an let you hook em o i together eve ry m rn n .

I got to quit now . I was left behind to clean o ut the barracks an I hear the battery comin in o l from drill s I got to b uss e . Tell Archie to th c e cheer up about e war . When I om home hell be w e arin so many wound stripes hell be

lookin like a zebra . Yours till Archi e gets a se rvice strip e Bill

D e re Mab le Theyve made me a door tender to a So iz ant

C ans . All Ive got to do is t o open the door an th e another fello puts in e shell . Then I clos the door an start the shell o n its way with a piec e o f

string . Its a pretty important j o b cause if I dont latch the door th e whole works will probably o ut come the back entrance .

Our horses came today . They must have thought this was a mobile v e trinary h o spittle in

sted of a batte ry. Whoever grooms those things e will hav to lean them up age nst something . I read somewhere h o w the average life o f a hors e co rdi m this war is only 60 days . Ac n to that this bunch has seen about seven we eks service al

ready . Every m o rnin we go o ut to th e range an shoot ” 0 S D 24 AME OL BILL, E H MABLE 1

" h e o r away lib erty bonds . T go d p a t about shootin into a desert like that is that theres nothin o ut there to hit so yo u can call it a bullseye no matter o ce r where you land . The fi s just walk around shakin hands an tellin ea ch other what good shot s si h th ey are . They t up behind t e guns in a place that looks like the p ress box o f a baseball game . e r It has a nic roof an eve ything . When it rains they just pull their toes in s o s th e water wont drip “ ff a o en the roof o n th em . Then they s y This is ”

. e t r e war W cant stop for a lit le wet . Eve y tim a th e fello fires they call it a p roblem . About t o fi e ri biggest problem is gg r w hat their fi n at . th e e t e In afternoon w go o school . Yest rday “ a fello gave us a talk o n the Art o f Handlin ” N e Men . Ma rv Motel says he knew him in w t York . H e used to b e a rubber in a Turks b a h o n 4 2nd street. Th eyve ishued gre en badge s to the fello s that

a n t S . w s dow on h e border. It looks like t Pat rick s day around here . Angus MacKenzie that l wasnt t here calls th em hors e exer cise meda s. The day I put min e o n the Fren ch fello thats le arnin us about telefones came up an shook hands

h m e . I wit All the Frogs think somebody , has r t s ighted us for brave y . Its a good hing nobody knows enuff French to tell them about it . The French have a medal they call the Crawdy I t Gare. f you do something pret y good like sit tin O n a hand granade so s it wont go O ff an b ot her

” 2 2 M OL D E H M " 4 SA E BILL, ABLE the C aptin or fieldin a shell right Over the kitchin o n e o f o u they hang these on y . Then if you do so m e thin awful good like driv in a General fast p ast a place thats been shelled they let yo u wear a silver rubber plant on the ribbon . t Were almost ready to go up to the fron now . I guess they want to get us there before the horses 60 days is up t o save funeral expenses . Just at the last minit they ishue d us a lot of t e placement troops a s if we didnt have enuff to o e rnm in t carry . The g v dont need to waste no ce rtinl tin derbies o n that bunch . They y looked as if theyd been doin some hard fast t rav e lin Al when they struck here . l they had was what was o n them an that was mostly cooties . I aint allowed to tell you w ether were goin to f se e t h e front rom here or not . I dont why its such a secret tho cause were so far in the rear here that its about the only way we could go . If you dont here from me fo r a long time I dont want yo u to worry cause I may no t be killed but just badly wounded o r taken prisoner o r some thing . Or there might be just a chance that it was because I was to busy to rite . This door ten

der j ob is p retty important . When they get to fightin I guess Ill have to be around most o f the time . Yours till I leave the door unlatched Bill ” M OL D E H M 1 2 SA E BILL, ABLE 43

D e re Mab le

n Were o o ur way to the front . I bet the Kiser l an that funny lookin kid of his is gettin there pu f mote t s o ut . We traveled three days an two nights o n the train an now we been b ikin two

h av nt . nights more . I heard a gun yet I dont think the C aptin knows where the front is . Theres a ro o mer around that w e got O ff at the

n n o wrong stashu . I suppose w we got to walk half way across France just because that fello dont know how to read a time table .

They landed us in a field outside Of a town . Youd have t hought we got o ff right in front O f h r the Fritz trenches t e way th e O fice s acted . The n e w L o o ten ant bawled everybody o ut fo r not

r th e s we a in there gas masks at alert . That mean tyin it under you r chin like a bib .

n We didnt lose much time u lo adin . Nobody knew then but what the Fritzes might want to

fe park a w Berthas right where we were . Then a f we just s t around in the rain and waited . A ter about an hour the C aptin came splashin down the “ road an says Harness an hitch . Come on . ” Hurry up . H e always gives an order as t h o hed given it an hour before an no b o die d paid any at t enshun to him . It didnt sound reasonable to me cause it was gettin dark then an it would be time t o f turn in be ore we could get any place . Bein a c annon ear tho an not b avin anything to do with ” 2 E O LD E H 1 44 SAM BILL, MABLE

t . i n s the horses I didnt say any hing W lli . That

e . m all over, Mable After wed g o t hitched up w e stood a round for l i C a tin an hour more b o tt n up rain . The p just leaned agenst his horse sm o k in a cigar as tho that was the b est place in th e world to spend the o ne o f t D s evenin . Hes got hese rench coat so it doesnt make any difference to him if every body els e dissolved . Just a s it was gettin dark a fello cam e up on a motor cycle an gave him some h llo . e t e e s a mail Then we sta rted . It mad f wful sore cause they say thats all he w as w ait in fo r. I thought o f course the Bilitin O fice r had found some place that was wors e down the road an was takin u s there for the nit e . But we just ma rched an marched till eve ryb o dy could s e e that th e C ap tin didnt know where he was goin . We couldn t light a light o r scratch matches o r C tin o nothin . The ap said a l t of Dutch ai ry planes was o ut to get us an a s soon as w e struck r o a light theyd drop bu ns n us . Then he passed the word back that n o body was to talk above a

“ o whisper . The Old guns rattle so you c uldnt Th hear anybody unless he yelled anyway . e Cap tin mean s all right but he read to much cheap lit e rach o o a r when he w s a kid . Eve ry few minits a string of trucks would g o t e arin th dire csh n o by in e other u . None f them had any lights . Its lucky they didnt cause if they could have ever seen h o w nea r they c ame t o not

” 2 6 M O L D E H " 4 SA E BILL, MABLE missin us they could never have got there hair t o e lie down agen . When w were in camp back in the States you dasnt go over ten miles an hour for fear somebody would fall down in front o f n yo u and get ru over . When you get over here tho the idear seems to be to make the war as dan e ro s g u as you can . After a while I undid a couple Of blanket rolls that didnt seem to belong to anyone an I w as just gettin as comfortable a s a fello can on top of a o urin o ff caisson in the p rain . I was dozin when “ I heard someone say Whos that ridin o n that carriage There was only o n e person could ask R t a question like that . ight away I s arted to make myself uncom fortable caus e I kn ew thats e probably what the trouble w as . Then he rod up an says Is that you Smith " D idnt yo u hear me order nobody to ride o n any o f the carriages C i Theres no use arguin with the apt n . Its just “ o a case f All right . Have it my way . They g o to all the trouble o f bildin a seat on e ach i t o these wagons . They spend a year t n you sit o n it in the most uncomfortable way. Then when the first possible reason for usin them comes along they make everybody get O ff an walk . I spent the rest o f the nite k ickin mud puddles O ff the road . About dawn we pulled o ff the road into an o r chard an put some branches over the guns to cover u up the c am o o flage paint . I thought after bein p OLD E H 1” SAME BILL, MABLE 247 all nite o n account of his foolishness the C aptin would at least take pi ty o n the horses an let them

alone . That would have given us some chance o to sleep . Nothin would d tho but that we spend sm o o thin about half the day them out . He says it makes them feel good . Of course the way w e o t feel hasnt g nothin to do with it . After wed scoured the horses till they must have been sorer than we were th e y gave us some c h monkey m e at an let us t urn in . Ba k to t e hay r Bilitin O fice r ba ns agen . That ought to make good o n some board Of health when we get home . He can pick o ut all the worst places in a town ten n m i it e s after h e gets there . Sle e pin in the daytime is a kind of a joke any in way the army . Every time you get to sleep the f e in horses has to be fed . And when your not e d th them you got t o get up an feed yourself . In e a rmy a fe llo s hungry when they tell him to eat an no other time . After theyd blown a horn at me about eight dif fe re nt times I figge re d I might as well stay up an w rite you a letter . Now that ere gettin up near the front Im goin to rite just as much as I can . Thats partly $ 03 you wont worry an partly so that if I get kn o cked O ff you will have something to amuse you in case yo u go into a convent . I had to leave all those swe te rs an caps an Y o eve rything that you nitte d me last winter . u dont need to feel bad about that tho cause they “ ” 2 O LD E H " 48 SAME BILL, MABLE

wouldnt let us wear them anyway . If everybody wore all the stuff thats been n itte d for them since the war sta rted thi s would look more like an i ce carnival than an a rmy. Its sentiment that counts , tho , not wool . In the meantime still Bill

D ere Mab le After t rav elin fo r three nites we dont seem to th e be any nearer front than we ever was . Ether the Fritzes are re tre atin in trucks o r were goin the wrong way . The only reason were not march in tonite is becaus e when we got into this town Ca i t n . P C the p found a chatto for his P C . . . is

. r C military , Mable It means a place fo the ap

h o z i C a in . W s t s tin Mike , the p orderly, says hes got o n e o f those limosine beds with a roof an ff sides o n it . Its so big it dont make any di erence how you lie o n it . If all he says about it is true fo r o we may stick a round the rest f the war .

. as Well , never mind Sailor Gare the French a o ld s y. Thats some pirate they blame every thing o n over here . o A bunch f p risoners came in last nite . They must have surrounded half the German a rmy cause it looked like a de co rashun day parade when the MP . brought them in . If they make another hawl like that well have about as much to fire at up at the fron t as we did back o n the range . Id

” 0 OLD E H 25 SAME BILL, MABLE " n e ver seen any Fritzes so Angus an I went down to the pen this a fternoon t o se e if they w e re bre akin the child labor law o r had any wimm in with machine guns tied to them like you read about . The pen i s just a bunch o f barracks no t much o t better than the place where we sleep . They g a lot of barb wire an an M . P . a round it . The

Fritzes didnt look very wild t o me . More like a st ashun o o b bunch O f porters ut Of a j . We tried o to argu the M . P . into lettin a few of them g at a time 5 03 we could catch th e m agen but h e took the wa r awful serious .

I go t in wrong with the Cap tin agen today .

This a rmy is something like gamblin . Which ever way you decide your bound to lose sooner or o later . Youd think that the only reason a fell would give yo u food wa s because he expected yo u

o r . to eat it . Thats because y u dont know the a my The other day they ishue d each fello what they n o f called Irun R ashu s . That means a can petri e o fish fi d crackers an a can f gold . Its not a bad t name for the crackers . Your supposed to to e a round your Irun R ashuns with you wherever yo u

Th e . go . only thing is that you mustnt eat them When they handed them o ut the C aptin said we wasnt ever to eat them unless we absolutely had to . As if anybody in his right mind would . Im all for Obeyin o rders tho when it dont conflict

"se h is with my duty . Joe B aldero ate half an hour ” M LD E H " 2 1 SA E O BILL, MABLE 5 after breakfast and then wanted me to split with “

0 . N o h im o n min e . I says N t till I absolutely o u have to . An then Ill be so far gone that y wont ” have a look in . I waited till hap past ten tho I f was gettin aw ul weak the last half hour . Youd ought to have heard th e C aptin when he saw me . Youd have thought I was c atin som e of his old harness . se e o f As far as I can , Mable , its just another his ways Of passin the buck . If General Perish ing should happen to find o ne o f us starved to death some m o rnin he wants to be able to show him we had plenty o f food o n us when we slipped f away . Hes smart all right , that ello . You cant tell what may happen before I have a chance to rite agen but we wont cross any t h e bridges before we leap as poets say . Yours to the last crum Bill

D e re Mab le Were on the front at last in what they call a quiet sector . Most o f the soldiers round this e place is French . I understand there p retty sor at the Americans cause some o f them came up here and began shootin up the Ge rmans . Of course you cant have a decent war if n o bodies at nsh goin to pay any e un to the rules .

The worst pa rt O f the war is gettin to it . I been rained o n so much the last week I feel like ” 2 2 M O L D E H " 5 SA E BILL, MABLE

o l an d sponge . Every nite weve been marchin along thru the pitch dark with trucks an guns an everyt hing else that rattles p o undin along on each side . Nobody could strike a light durin the whol e trip . Then when we get to this place the French men that we were go in to relieve came o ut in th e road with lantern s to se e who we were . Its a wonder the C aptin didnt make us crawl up on o ur hands an knees . o ish H We finally got the guns in p s un . o w we found the place in th e dark is more than I can

e l o . tell . Wer in the midd e f a ruined V illage It looks like those p icturs o f Old Greek O fli ce build h t e . ins that hangs in high school hall Its funny,

Mable , but the first real rest Ive had since I got ot in the a rmy i s since Ive g to the front . The is air lane s only livin thing we see rats an yp . The archies shoot all day at the planes but it dont s eem to bother them much . They just sail along like a limosine with a lot Of little dogs t ryin to bite O ff o ne the tires . I guess if they ever hit the shock would kill th e gun crew as quick as it would the pilot .

Our guns i s pointed at a hill right in front o f us . Every m o rnin we fire a few shots at this an then l n spend the res t o f th e day c e a in the guns . If they used these guns as much as they clean them the war would have been over long ago . Towa rd E evenin the Fritzes return the complement . v

” 2 M OL D E H M " 54 SA E BILL, ABLE e ryb o dy comes o ut to se e where they land but they must fire them up in the air cause nobodies o ever been able to find ut yet . When your not cle anin the gun o r on gard you have to stay down

in your dugout 3 0 3 the airyplane s wont se e you . Theyv e got to be awful quick if they want to get a sight Of me . Ive got the deepest dugout except C a in for the pt . When the Top sargent wants a detail you can bet hes not goin to clime down n fifty steps a fter o e Buck private .

Ive found the first real use fo r my tin derby . The fello that invented these dugouts couldnt seem to decide wether to put in stairs o r a ladder o ff R s he split the di erence . ight across the top o f the entrance he put a nice sha rp beam . Its fixed so that it gets you in the chin goin down an o n the top Of the head comin up . Hed have split more than the difference long ago i f it hadnt been for that tin derby of mine . o n Marv Motel , whats gunner my piece , is busy all day fixin things up . He says if were goin to b e here the rest o f o ur lives we mights well O l have things homelike . He dug up an d rug an a lace curt in somewhere that the Germ ans had missed . The rug hes got in the gun pit an the curtin over the trail o f the gun to se t the barrage n shell o . They keep a shell ready all the time in case somebody sta rts a battl e without the usual o t weeks notice . Ma rvs g it shined up like a young doctors door plate . Every nite he raps ” M O L D E H " 2 SA E BILL, MABLE 55

o ld it up an put an one in its place . Angus says when he gets time hes goin to carve the names o f the gun crew on the side 3 03 we can take it back an give it to some museum . o u Well , Mable , y might as well take down your service fl ag . I guess the only a ction Ill ever se e is when I get home an meet Archie Wainwright . Yours till theres something doin Bill

D e re Mab le

Well , you can take your service flag out of moth balls agen . An if the Fritzes try any more monkey b isin e ss like they did this m o rnin you can buy a can o f radiator paint for the sta r. Angus an I was standin outside th e dugout fin ishin o ur m o rnin goldfish an plannin a few co rrek shuns for the army when a boiler explo shun hap pened right behind us . After things had quieted down a bit I looked o ut from b ehind a piece O f

Old stone wall where I seemed to be lyin , to see if there was anything left for ide ntificashun . I saw b e a foot layin outside the dugout . I knew it longed to Angus cause hes the only man in the a rmy with o ne like it . I was just goin to pick it up thinkin his family might like it to remember him b y when another foot came o ut . Then the o ld awlin whole o f him . Hed crawled under an p that had been spread o ut to dry. This war cer O ut tinly has p roved that fish aint a brain food . 2 6 “ M O L D E H "” 5 SA E BILL, MABLE side o f bein a little mussed up from a mud pub dle hed found under the p awlin he seemed all right . When I ast him if he was lookin for any k t h e . S o ch thing , tho , got all worked up The is awful e m o shunal. While we was standin there w o nde rin wethe r so m eb o die d been sm o kin in bed in the amunishun dug o ut another boiler blew up right in front o f us . At least I think it was in front a s near a s I t could tell from the bo tom o f the dug o ut stairs . Angus saved my life that time cause we both hap pened to go down the stairs together an I went n down o top Of Angus . th Ma rv Motel was asleep down in e dug out . He go t awful sore an wanted to kn ow how a fello was ever goin to get any rest with a bunch o f this h l an that fools rough o usin around a l day . Then ie came two more black hand awt ro cit s. Angus swears th e second o ne ro cked the dug out so his mess kit slid right o fl en the table . Things quieted down after that so we went out finally to se e if o ir we could pick up any so v e n s out of the wreck . " V e e il , Mable , Id hav bet anybodies money before I went o ut that none Of those shots had lit more than ten feet away . It took us half an hour tho before we could locate all the holes . When we did they was all ab o ut a hundred yards h away . T e funny part about it was that there was o n e in front and back an o ne o n e ach side o f the b attery .

” 2 M O LD E H " 58 SA E BILL, MABLE

The Captin came o ut o f his dug" out while w e was lookin at them . I guess hed been down there h ink in doin some deep t . He looked them over like he was Shylock Homes o r somebody . Then he said that was an Old Fritz trick to put a shot

r o n all four sides Of a batte y . Some day when

o f amun ishun f he had lots hed split the di erence . All I can say i s that when h e starts splittin Im goin to se t a new rekord down these dug o ut

n stairs wether Angus is there to ride o o r not . No thin s happened since so weve all been hopin that those was just four Old shots that the Ger f mans wanted to get rid o . A t ruck came in last nite with a lot Of bread an a quarter o f a cow done up in burlap like summer furniture so every bodies forgot the war in favor o f a roast beef dinner .

ce rtinl It y is goin to make me laugh , Mable , if I should ever get home an se e those sines about b read all done up in t ishue paper what aint never touched human hands since the fello that rapped it up . Over here they handle bread like coal only a little rougher not b avin any shoots an things . Our bread comes in round loaves like the

French . Its handier to carry an dont bust so

do b o s ea sy when it hits th ings . Ive seen the y bore a hole in the middle and sling a loaf over there shoulder with a piece o f string like a p air

e t o ut of feel glasses . I suppos heyll be gettin ” M O L D E H M " 2 SA E BILL, ABLE 59 an order pretty soon about which side your to o n wear your bread . f A ter all Ive eat tho I aint dead yet . O f course n o c e rt ifik ate thats permanent health .

I started this letter early this m o rnin . Now its

almost nite agen . A fello never can get any

int e ru t e work done without gettin p d in the army . I got to quit now cause I was supposed to relieve Marv Motel o n gard half an hour ago 3 03 he

could get his supper . I guess he wont mind when o ut he finds weve gone back to gold fish agen . yours till they split the diference Bill

D e re Mab le We fooled the Fritzes by pullin o ut o f that last place befo re theyd had a chance to split the h diference . We came back t o t is little town for “ ” what they call a rest . That word rest dont mean s e Fo r the ame thing as the o ne we us . instance when an o fice r c omes into the room eve rybodys supposed to jump up like theyd been sittin o n a “ ”

R . tack . Then he says est Youd naturally think he meant lie down an take it easy for an o r h e o u e hour so . All means is that y dont hav i m e to stand like a w ndo dum i . An then agen when your standin in line an “ ” Inste somebody says Parade rest . d Of lyin down in the grass somewhere an takin a smoke you grab hold o f your thum s an stick o ne foot ” 260 M L D E H " SA E O BILL, MABLE in front o f th e other like those O ld fo to grafs O f your grandfather in the album . The worst kind o f rest tho is when yo u g et back in a place like this . That means eight hours a day scrub b in guns an drillin an sm o o thin out horses . If that doesnt seem to set you on you r o u feet y stand gard all nite . Bilitin o fice r e The likes this plac . Hes got my gun squad in a ba rn with half the roof shot o ff th e an other half awful undecided . It isnt the part thats gone we mind so much as the p art thats left . Id hate to come all this way just to interfere with a brick . Everybody wears there tin derby to bed at nite .

Payday came along this m o rnin. In the after n o on a couple Of do b o ys cam e along that had m just been paid to . Me an Angus took the on o f r a friendly game right o fl the Main street . It was rainin an the wind was b lo win cats an dogs but we had most o f the do b o ys money an they didn t seem t o want to go t ill we had it all so nobody minded th e wethe r much . Angus had just passed six times an abou t all the money we had was bet when there wa s a swish like a punc ture d tire an everything seemed to blow up all around . There is times in this world when yo u dont stop to figg e r what nobody owes you . When I looked up agen I could see where it had lit in an O l d wreck across the street . The next thing I

M L D E H "” 262 SA E O BILL, MABLE had succeeded in dyin after bein at it for two weeks . It was the only thing he ever put any f d se e e fort in . Just to look at him you woul nt what took him so long . That horse just couldnt Im do anything quick tho . It seems always bury o in horses . There s da rn contra ry theyll drag i themselves fo r miles just to d e at my feet . We was sittin o n the corp s restin a while before we started to work when we heard o ne o f those high powered wash boilers go o ff back by th e guns . A minit later another landed . We post poned the funeral an went back to collect the iden tificash un tags . One shell had lit right behind my gun an thrown mud all over it . The other had planted itself in a field just outside the woods . N o w we got to pull o ut o f here tonite an go somewhere else like a fello t ryin to sleep o n a p ark bench . A lo t o f the fello s fam ilies is gi vin there letters to the newspapers . Sometimes they p rint there icturs L em p with them . Wattles what never had his name in th e paper before except when he to e used get arrested , showed me a piec about e two feet long with hi s face o n top . Of cours none o f the things he rote about ever happened . inin He was back at t ra camp when he rote them . L em will fight if yo u call him a liar tho . I dont mean this as a hint to you to give my letters to the papers cause Im t ryin to avoid publicity. N TH E L E M WATTLE S WHAT NEVER HAD H IS NAME I PAPER ” 2 6 M O L D E H " 4 SA E BILL, MABLE

Im goin to turn in now a fighter cant get to much sleep . Besides I wa s on gard last nite b e an my brains seem to dead today . a s always modist Bill

D e re Mable

Im an artiler h I got a new j ob . y runner wit h D Im o n t e infantry . ont get the idear some kind Of a track team caus e theres o ne thing a n Im runner dont do an thats ru . not sure yet t o what the j obs all about myself . I dont seem be in the art ile ry any more an Im not in th e

do b o s. . . y Mugwump Thats me all over , M able As far as I can make o ut the artile ry send an o fice r up to live with the infantry an keep th e o ff dob y majors mind O the wa r . He plays stud poker with him an explains that those shells were Fritzes and not ours tha t busted all over his p rize company the other day . They dont believe each other caus e nether o f them thinks the other fello knows what hes talkin about so they get t along pret y good . The artile ry o fice r ha s tw o runners with him in case he wants a clean shirt o r something from u the battery. Me an Joe Mink just lie aro nd and wait for something to happen . Nothin eve r happens tho so we just lie a round an wait .

u e . Were livin right p in the trenches now , Mabl

Right down in th em would be more like it . This

” 2 L D E H 66 SAME O BILL, MABLE " idear o f comin into the war last ce rtinly has ad v r at antages . Eve y time I look all thes e trenches an holes I feel sorry for the poor fello what had to dig them . Whoever laid em o ut didnt seem o to have much idea r f where he wanted to go . Most o f them wander a round awhile an com e All back to where they started . Of them a re as as crooked a plummers assistant . If anyone asks you wher e a place i s around here your safe in sayin right a round the corner . Everywhere you step theres a foot o f mud an o water . If there wasnt so many corners y u could no o t get around better in a ca o . They g sidewalks in most o f th e trenches they call duck boards . A duck board is a lot o f little slats nailed a cross a coupl e of wooden rails . The way there laid it looks as tho somebody had walked along the t o p of the trench an dropped the se ck shuns in . Some i s upside down , some lap over each other , some is le anin ag enst the sides of the trench an in the deep places some isnt there at all . Joe Mink o n says it keeps a fello his toes . Every four o r five feet they leave o ut half a o n o ne dozen slats . If y u dont break you r eck in o f these places they get the corners banked the ff wrong way so youll slide o an get drownd . I f they miss you on the straitaw ay theyll get you on the turns . The L o o tenant sleeps with a couple of dob oy O fice rs in a sek shun of engine boiler set in the side S OLD E H 1” AME BILL, MABLE 267

of the trench . I sleep down in a place that looks e o ld o u lik an mine . About the only way y could get a shell into the thing would be t o lower it down with a rope . Its the best billet Ive struck o up h ere tho . Theres no wind s for fresh air fe ends m o nk e in th e o to be y with all time , an f course there aint no light to shine in your face r i when your t y n to sleep . The only trouble is theres seven fe llo s sle epin there an only five bunks le in so we got to take turns s ep . The floor is to muddy. ello That is to say , Mable , seven f s an two hundred rats . I never used to take much stock in those rat stories but I ce rtinly take o ff my hat o h o ff to them n w . T ats about all you can take e llo unless you want to get eaten . These f s will eat anything from the hobnails o ut o f your shoes o a to a bag f Bull . They make a goat look like di e tik sp p . You dont notice them while the candles r are lit an your movin a ound . As soon as you o ut th o r blow the light an lie still , , you can hea them comin o ut all over to h ave dinner o ff your e quipment . They have what they call a runners bench out side the tin house where the L o o tenant sleeps .

Jo e an I is supposed to take turns sittin there . Its something like the bell hops bench in a hotel Y o only this is an active front . u wont get that

fo r . o a minit , Mable All y u can here when your “ sittin o ut there a fello inside saying Hello . ” 26 O LD E H 8 SAME BILL, MABLE "

o ff Pancake . Get the wire Peggy . I want Pan " cake . Pancake busy Give me Pauline . Is that

" s e ak in you Purgatory This is Pineapple p . After I d lissen e d to that for about half an hour

I felt like the gate gard of a bug house . I got hold o f the L o o te n ant in a friendly way an told him Id go halves o n my bunk with him cause I " didn t think it was safe to sleep with that fello . He might think he was a crum some night an try L o o t e a to choke somebody . The n nt said that was o e le fo ni just a way they had f t n up here . He said you never could tell when a German might b e lyin up o n the roof or under a bunk lissenin o to you . On account f that nobody called any body else by there right name . For instance he said they called the General Pancake an the C o l o ne l Peggy an this place was called Pineapple . The more I thought about it the more it sound t ed like a good sensible idea r o me . I went in an told the L o o te n ant that unless he had some thing better I thought Id call him Prune juice from then o n . He sai d Id guessed wrong unless

I wanted to act as a stone crusher on a road gang . Th e trouble with most o f these fello s is there to stuck up to play the game . Its all right to call a General Pancake o r a Colonel Peggy but you want to watch out what you call a 2nd L o o ten ant . sa is Well Mable , if what they y true the do boys will be goin over pretty soon . The Looten ant says were goin with em . Its about as good

” 2 0 S OL D E H A 7 AME BILL, M BLE " argument all al o ne an most o f it se e med to b e dire ck shun th e But o e goin in the of battery . J S e t ff h says ailor Gare so w star ed O down t e road . t e There was plen y Of noise out ther . It was awful foggy but yo u could se e the red fl ashes once in a e o ne whil when of them lit in a field near the road . Every time o ne busted Joe would duck into a ditch . He had me doin it pretty soon . The more we ducked the more w e couldnt help it till w e was goin down the road like a couple of Rushin e e o h e dancers . Then w brok all the rules f t runners union an ran . We didnt have no trouble findin the Captin e e caus we knew just where to look . Just a s w started to go down in his dug" o ut we heard a big o ne comin and both landed together at the bot a fello s tom . After face gets broken in to goin down stai rs that way its the easiest way . The

Captin was awful sore . He wanted to know what t h e this an that we meant by comin in without knockin . That fello would want you to salute ff sa d . if yo u had both arms shot O . I di nt y nothin L o o t e nant Just gave him the s message . H e That seemed to make him madder still . pushed the papers a round o n his desk an said didnt that o ne thing an another L o o te n ant know h e couldnt get fire without orders from regimental headquart ers . An didnt he know that regimental headquarters couldnt give any order till they w as o th e asked for it by d b o y headquarters . An why “ ” S M O L D E H M " 2 1 A E BILL, ABLE 7 this an th at didnt we g o to the do b o ys if we e wanted som fire . Id like to have told him where t o g o to ge t h “ ” . o sir. some fire I just saluted t , an said Yes

Spirited . Thats me all over , Mable . Then we th L o t nant went back to pass e buck to the o e . The do b o y O fice rs was all si ttin a round tellin h im how

rtile r good the Inglish a y was . A couple O f hours later when Joe an I was h av in breakfast we heard t dob o s the ba tery fire about twenty shots . The y said it was lucky we didnt fire any more cause they was probably all shorts anyw ay . That dont ff o mean that they were a di erent size r anything, r a th e Mable . A sho t is shell that hasnt got m is a b hun . I went up to an artile ry o b se rv ashun post with L o o te nant s the the other day . Only it isnt a po t but a round tin house like a ticket O flice set in the trenches o n t o p o f a hill . Theres a slit cut in the t r Th e L o o te nant m e front o look th u . showed se e where Nobodies land was . I could the Fritz trenches runnin in front o f a piece o f woods about half a mile away . They must have all been away o n a furlo o r something caus e there wasnt as much as a fly sittin over there . I a This is a great place for so o v enirs. got o f o f lot buttons , a piece of shell , a couple bones I found stick in o ut o f the trench an a Fritz hand o Im grenade . As s on a s I can find a box goin to send you the whole bunch . I wouldnt monkey ” 2 2 M O L D E H " 7 SA E BILL, MABLE

with the hand grenade much . It doesnt lo o k as " if it had ever exploded . Give it to Archie Wain e wright an tell him its a trench warmer . Mayb hell stick it in the fire . In the afternoon when things is quiet an every bodies asleep we go o ut an throw hand grenades at the rats . Thats good sport cause you got to b e quick o r youll get your self inste d of a rat . Joe Mink had to spoil it Of course by b lo win in dug i o ld outs . Hed have been all right f hed picked dug outs but he wasnt satisfied till hed found o n e n se e with a fello comin up the stai rs . I do t yet tho why there was such a holler raised . The Old ff thing didnt go O . It just caught the fello in the m i stu m ck an kn ocked some wind out . He blacked

Joes eyes an then went to the M aj or . Joes back h lo n ro o min in the e sc e now g horses . Angus Mac Kenzie has come up in his place so Im just as s atisfied . o I guess were goin acros s pretty soon n w . Then Ill be able to get a helmet an a lo o g e r pistel an a pair of feel glasses . I guess the Fritzes are gettin s cared . I hop e there not a s sca red as I am . yours indefinitely Bill

D e re Mab le Since I rote you last I been over the top with do b o s se e the y , taken a woods that I cant why ff o o v e nirs anybody wanted , an collected enu s to

” 2 M O L D E H M " 74 SA E BILL, ABLE

h m t equip a Sout American army . I itin this

from a Fritz dug" out in the middle o f the woods

fi r t e le n o n Fritz O ce s paper . If Id fo e d ahed he d fo r coul nt have had things fixed up better me . There was a lunch o ut o n the table an blankets an even clean un de rclo se ( if youll excuse my men n shu ing them ) . They used to have electric lights h e re but somebody so o v enire d the dinamo so they wont work . The nite before we went over four more a r L o o ten ant tilery runners came up . I ast the if they was plan nin to send any do b o ys over to help

. us in the attack He said there, had to be a lot o f runners so s that when two went back with a message an got killed he could send two more . L o o n ant te . Always cheery an bright , the The nite before the attack we went up to a tunnel thats dug right under a hill an has got l o rooms in it an everything . Those fe l s didnt seem to care how many shovels they wore o ut . We got into it down a long flight o f steps in the pitch dark where I like t o have broke my neck . Then down a long p assage fe elin your way along o r the road . Every four five feet somebody o would run into y u an cuss you . At last we came round a bend an there was all the do b o ys sittin in the mud c atin supper an o kin o f sm . The only lights they had was pieces candl e stuck up o n there equipment . It looked like th e whole a rmy was in that tunnel an all ” M O L D E H " 2 SA E BILL , MABLE 75 sm o kin L o o te nant at the same time . The told us to make ourselves comfortable then he disap

e r o n o t h e O ff p a e d into e f rooms to the side . " About ten O clock all the dob o ys got up an o t went u . Then we sat in the mud and waited o f r three hours . Angus found some duck boards o and went t sleep . Some time after midnite a lot o f o fice rs came o u t so t Of the room . We walked thru the unnel fa r t hat I figge re d that we must b e comin o ut somewhere behind the German lines . At last we clim e d a flight o f stairs an there we were right out doors . Id expected thered be an awful battle , goin on by that time but everything was as quiet as church except for a fe w big ones that would sail over eve ry once in a while . The stars were all o ut just like it was an ordinary nite . We walked along a lot o f path s an fell over a lot

o f . Old barb wi re , then dropped into a trench It struck me that was the time to go across while do o things were quiet . But I heard the b y Major say that there was only four more hours t o wait . These fe llo s are worse than your family for gettin to places on time .

Everything was quiet for a long time . Then all O f a sudden all the guns in the world began o f bangin away at the same minit . Over the top the hill behind us an as far as you could see o n ether way it was just e big fl ash . Then the

s ue alin hisselin shells began racin over, q an w an ” 2 6 M O LD E H M " 7 SA E BILL, ABLE rumb lin al o ng like they was racin each other t o se e h o w was goin to get first crack at the Fritzes . Every o n e o f them seemed t o have its own s e sh h isse l o f p ul w tied onto it . Some them rum bled along like a fast train hittin a down grade . Some would just sing an hum to themselves sort of quiet an happy while others would go yellin an screamin acr o ss like the fire dep artment o n an e xhib ishun run There was o ne bunch that squealed like a trolly goin round a turn o n dry Y o o e rails . u sort f felt a s i f someon ought to grease it . Besides all these noises over o ur heads there was the p o un din an h am m e rin behind us from the fe llo s guns themselves . The big just boom U boomed away like a bunch of ba se drums . p nearer tho it was like a m o unt in o f giant fire let crackers goin o ff together . Then thered be a up for a second like a fello thats awful mad but runs out Of words . After that theyd go at it agen harder than ever . The best part o f it was that most o f them was o ur o w n shells . The Fritzes didnt seem to get into the spirit o f the thing at all . Every few min utes theyd sail over a big o ne right near the t unnel where we came o ut . That was about as safe a place as he could have put em cause there wasnt anybody there . At first th e nois e an eve rything gave a fell o e o u something to think about . After a whil tho y

” 2 O L D E H M " 78 SAME BILL, ABLE

o f the table with a couple knives . Even the machine guns was in it thi s time . They sounded iv itin o m etish n like a r c p u in a ship yard . I heard “ somebody say There goes o ur machine gun bar i H rage . I hop e they get t over o ur heads e u t str ck me a s a pret y sensible fello . Somebody had marked the place up with tape o like a tennis court . We followed along one f these till we came to another tape runnin the same o b o s way as the trenches . There was a lot of d y lyin down there an a lot o f others comin up thru run nin the fog , half , half walkin an all of them stooped over like they was c arryin something heavy.

In front it was just fog . We could se e red fl a shes runnin thru it like bubbles in b o ilin water o where the shells from ur barrage was bustin . The fog didnt go very high cause you could make k o ut a little blue s y once in a while . Then right th ru the top o f it came te arin out a regular fourth e a h o f July ce l b r s un o f Fritz fireworks . They were just like the rockets at We e w illo Park that spit o ut long snakes o f gold fire like a broom when they bust . The nearer that barrage came to the Fritz trenches the faster they went up all along the line . We lay there a few min ite s till everybody came s up . The thing that truck me now was that I wasnt scared . Id been more afraid o f bein scared th than anything else . Then e Maj or got up an THERE WAS TH E LO OTE NANT BO OSTIN TH E MAJOR O UT O F TH E TRENCH S M O L D E H ” 280 A E BILL, MABLE " started o n with everybody else t aggin along with t o him . It was foggy to se e what was happenin o n b il each side We went down a l. It got swampy an we struck some duck boards . Some body must have been over before u s an put them down . If they could get a round as easy as that m e it beat what they were makin all this fuss for. All a round us was big shell holes filled with water. They gave the Americans a second hand o n battl e field to begin . The French had used it f t lots o f times be ore . Once I lost sight o f h e L o o te n ant an stepped O ff the duck boards to pass

o b w as ste in . some d o ys. It like pp into a well i There didnt seem to be any bottom to t . I grabbed hold o f a do b o y that was goin by but h e “ pushed me ba ck agen an says Who the this an that do you think your mawlin around here "”

Then somebody gave me a hand . What I needed more than a tin derby was a pair o f water wings .

I didnt feel cold any more tho . Something happened to the duckboards an we t o o ur r was wadin in mud knees . Eve y once in a while Id slip into a shell hole an then Id have to run t o catch up agen . That Maj or must have been brought up in Indiana the way he got th ru the mud . My rapped leggins began to shrink an the c av s of my legs hurt something awful . But we kept goin an goin without ever gettin to the

Fritz trenches . After a while we came to a little creek about

” 2 M O LD E H A " 28 SA E BILL, M BLE

e under way at the same tim . There was a noise all around like a bunch of fello s wh isselin th ru

w . there teeth . Eve ryone dropped do n in the grass I lay so close to the ground I bet I was a foot n wider than usual . Then I k ew the reason I hadnt been scared before w as becaus e n o b o die d been firin Fi h tin e at u s till now . g is good fun , Mabl , as long as the bullets are all goin the same way a e a s you r . I dropped my cigaret when I flopped r down . Now I could smell it burnin a hole th u ff my coat . I wouldnt have raised up enu to pull it o ut tho i f it had burned a hole right thru me . As soon as the w hisselin let up a little the Major jumped up an says how he didnt know where the rest o f the army was but we wasnt goin t to li e there an ro . I didnt feel as if I was goin to rot for quite a while but I didnt like to get left behind so I tagged along. We p assed two o r l three o f o ur fe l o s that was done in . Then a bunch o f barb wire with a couple o f do b o ys workin like hell with wire clippers . Our shells had busted it up pretty good but ther e was an aw ful lot to bust . Just as we got thru the wire somebody says ” o t as t m Look u . A Fritz w u nin toward us thru fl o in the fog . His hands was pp over his head kind o f loose an he was makin th e queerest noises

I ever heard . The way I imagine a sheep would i f youd kicked it . His helmet was so big it looked mo re like a HIS HELMET LOOKED LIKE A TIN SUNBONNET ” 2 OL D E H M " 84 SAME BILL , ABLE

sca d t tin sunbonnet . He was just a kid an the r e s o ne so o v e ni I ever seen . We didnt have time to r h im him . Somebody just planted an awful kick that sent him a cross the barb wire an out Of sight

ire cshu thru the fog in the d n Of o ur lines .

Something else moved up ahead . We yelled at it but it didnt say n ot hin so a couple o f dob o ys m dropped down an fired . We passed him a init o n later . He was layin his back with one arm still flo ppin a little like a fello thats restless in his sleep .

We were right in the Fritz trenches now . They were the ones Id seen a few days before from the h o b se rv as un post . Everybody seemed to have cleared o ut except a few that was beyo nd cle arin . o There machine guns was layin a round still h t . The dob o ys just distributed a few bums into the

" al as n dug outs like s v hu army tracks . Then we i n cl m e d o ut an went o . The woods werent more t han half a minit from o the trenches . We ran right int them before we knew it . Eve rybody just busted into the bushes but I tell you Mable , it was worse than takin a t cold bath in winter . I expec ed to fall into a machin e gun nest any minit . Nobody tried to stop us tho . It looked a s tho theyd all beat it . Pretty so o n I came to a road all made o ut o f L o o te n ant boards . I d lost the and the Major by this time but there was a lot o f dob o ys around an it looked as tho the show was all over any

” 2 M L D E H " 86 SA E O BILL, MABLE

SO o e nin I slipped it into an p under the road . Then I noticed everybody else c rawlin away thru the bushes so I crawled a fter them ha y in nothin else to do . After Id craw led till it seemed like I must be pretty nea r out O f the woods an the knees o f my

o trousers I stood up . When I looked around f r the do b o ys there wasnt any . All I could hear was riv itin machines an shells bustin all around

" m e. An the bullets was criss crossin thru the

in bushes like a bunch of dragg flies . It seemed

rt ile lik e a useless place for an a ry fello to be in . M Im n o Well , able , goin to quit w cause one o f the do b o y runners is goin back an I want t o n c o in give him this letter . I am e l s some mud I picked up in Nobodies Land . It may help to give you some idear of the country . Yours to the last Fritz Bill

D e re Mab le I never thought Id b e ritin such long letters that Id have to be gettin them O ff my chest on the instalment plan . Ive sharpened my pencil so ff ofen there aint hardly enu left to hang onto . h e l n There s l i the woods today . Every time one lands anyw here near the dug out something seems to break the point . f Well , Mable , in my last letter I le t myself standin all alone in the middle o f the woods lis ” M O L D E H M " 2 SA E BILL, ABLE 87 senin to a lo t o f things flyin round my head that e inni arent in no bird book . I was b g n to think y o L o o t e n ant wether , ha in l st the an the Major , D t I hadnt ought to go back to my battery . u y l e sure . t . before p Tha s me all over, Mable Just then I heard someone comin th ru the woods . That was the worst minit o f my life except once when I had t o make a speech in High School . I decided if it was goin to be my last Id spend it as private as I could so I stepped behind a bush . Whoever was comin seemed to have the spring halt . Hed come a little way . Then hed stop . fi e r Then hed come a little . I couldnt gg where I had any call to act as a Fritz re cep shun co m itte e so I started to crawl away . Just as I stuck my head around the bush I saw something that made me lie down agen so hard I bet the ground is still stamped with the eagels o n my buttons . It was only the end O f a shoe passin thru the brush about f th o fi teen feet away . There are times when an Old shoe can look worse than your g ran fath e rs gost sittin o n the end of your bed makin faces at you . I lay there fo r what seemed like a coupl e o f o n days . I didnt dare roll over my back for fear o f makin a noise an I didnt dare stay o n my face for fear o f somebody makin a pincushun out t r in o f me while I wasnt lookin . I was y to think out some way o f not doin ether when the queerest noise you ever heard started o n the other side of ” 2 O LD E H " 88 SAME BILL, MABLE

the bush . It was like water comin back into a o ff facet after its been shut for a while . I could ff feel my tin derby pull right up O en my head . The noise kept gettin loud an ended up with a sneeze . You couldnt have lifted me higher with a t h o e shell . I never was gladder to hear a sneez cause I knew who that belonged to . I could have f il n told it blind olded in a m yu . I wa s so glad to find Angus I forgot he didnt know I was there an ran around the bush . He was lying in a bunch o f briars all red in the face from trying to hold in . When he heard me comin a h e threw up both hands . Then when he s w who e t h it was he tried to make o ut he was str c in. Angu s said hed been c rawlin around the woods t ryin to find somebody till he saw me duck behind tr in a bush . Hed been layin there ever since y to decide wether to shoot me an take a chance o n missin o r lay there till I died a natshural death . It was easy to see tho that we wouldnt win any thing but a wooden cross hangin round there so we walked thru the woods till we ran into about b o f r twenty do o ys. One them said they was afte a machine gun nest that w as b oldin things up . Even that was better than sno o pin a round alone an we followed along like a coupl e of dogs after a pa rade . do b o s a Well , Mable , the y is ether wful b rave or awful stupid . They might have been after birds nests the way they went at it . Nobody but

” 2 0 M OL D E H 9 SA E BILL, MABLE " m e seemed t o figg e r that we might be comin up o f inst e O in front that machine gun d f behind it . It was just b eginn in to strike me that this didnt h ave much to do w ith an artile ry runner when a couple Of the do b o ys O ff to o n e side began t h ro w in cussin hand grenades . I heard a lot of an when we got up there was five Fritzes standin in a pit b with a machine gun . There ands was up in th e air except for a couple that didnt count . It was the first time Id seen them doin any real l ie ri do so d n . An you know , Mable , there wasnt a woman among em . They wasnt even chained to there guns . Theres something wrong with this t are war o r else the s yles changin . d b o s e One o f the o y took them b ack . They wer a pretty poor lot an didnt have anything worth do b o s while with them . The y seemed to have s om e idear where they were goin so we stuck al o ng . They went down in a few dug outs . In o ne o f them we found six Fritzes an four lo o ge r i l t p st e s . That made everybody feel pret y good except the fe llo s that was left o ut . They voted solid it was a rotten show . The machine guns was o ff more to o ne side now but it seemed like they was th ro w in a lot o f shells around without much regard to wher e we was . We came o ut o n a road an ran into a do b o y

H av i C aptin an tw o or three men . n nothin better to do we followed h im . He turned up a little railroad track like the o ne that used to run ” M O L D E H M " 2 SA E BILL, ABLE 9 1

t around the coun y fair for a dime . It twisted along thru the woo ds without se e m in to come out m uch Of anyplace . Then we came round a bend an about fi fty yards away was a gang O f Fritzes stO kin shells into four wh o ppin big guns a s fast as they could fire them o ut . The next thing I knew I was runnin down that C a in little track behind the pt . Quite a ways b e

. r ssin hind , Mable Eve ybody was cu like a mule Sk o tch skinner . Angus was sayin things in I bet hed hate to have rote down as his last words . But the Fritzes didnt seem to have no idear of fo r makin them that . They stopped one look an dove in the bushes like a bunch Of rabbits . All except a few tha t was to scared to run . They just stood an gobbled at us . It seemed t o me wed done something worth sittin around an b avin a postmortem about . But the C aptin just rote the name O f his company o n o ne o f the guns with a piece o f chalk . Then he lit his pipe an started O ff down the track agen . We came o ut o n a road a fter a while an there was the Major an a whole lot o f do b o ys . The

o b o o n sm o k in d ys was sittin the railroad track , cigarets an w atch in the shells bust in the woods

all around them like they was at a baseball game . A squad o f Fritzes was puttin a fe w o f o ur do b o ys o n stretchers an c arryin them O ff down the road .

M . Well , able , there aint much more to tell The M ajor sent me over to a tin house where the 2 2 A O LD E H ” 9 S ME BILL, MABLE "

L o o tenant in ff was . I found him dry o by an old R ash n Fritz stove an catin somebodies I run u s. I never could find out when the battle was o ffishul l y over . There wa s machine guns poppin away all th e a fternoon but nobody seemed to be b o th e rin o much about them . I guess they just got sick f it an quit . Anyway they were gone by night . No w were lyin around takin it easy. We fire at the Fritzes all day an they fire back at us . They h av nt interfered with my meals yet tho so let o t them go to it . Every dug u ha s been turned inside o ut . I guess the Fritzes dont get charged fo r lo si n equipment like we do . From the amount o f stuff we found they must get pretty near un dressed before they run away. Ive just been figg e rin up the total vi ctory with lo o e rs Angus . We got five g , two pair o f feel glasses ( one broke ) , a gold watch that can be th fixed , ree pocket fulls of buttons , a lot of let e ters we cant read an fou r belts . As for helm ts an gas masks an the like all yo u g o t to do is reach your hand o ut the dug O ut door . If we could only so o v e nir a Ford truck to carry all this stuff wed be fixed . s Im goin to quit n o w an get some sleep . Angu says lay up all yo u can while you have a chance . Hes laid up enuff to last him the rest of his life since Ive known him . Yours as long as it lasts Bill

” 29 4 SAME O L D BILL, E H MABLE 1

" wed improve the a rmy if it was ours we heard an i Y o o a ryplane comin . u could tell by the n ise it i fi e re d a D was fly n low . We gg if it w s a utch plane the L o o te nants was up a tree more ways than o ne cause they stuck up above the rest of th e se e woods like a sore thum . Pretty soon we could it th ru t h e branches an sure enuff there was the o n h irun cross painted t e bottom . It came up to o the tree an circled r und it . Then it opened up its machine gun at it an fl ew away with a trail o f yellow smoke comin o ut its hind end . You ought to have seen those two L o o tenants r o ld come down . They beat eve y law of gravity

L o o te nant man Newton ever passed . The said theyd fixed that o b se rv ashun post all right an n o w he was goin to put up another o n e On the other

o f th e o ne side woods . He thought this next would b e better o n the ground . The next place w e stopped was a little cle arin Y o o n the side o f a hill . u could look right across the Moose river an se e where o ur shells was landin in a grave yard right near a Fritz town . o in Th Some o f these fe ll s ce rt ly is there . e Fritzes was gettin back at us by sh e llin o ur do b o ys near where we was workin . Thats the way they do . When w e shell the Fritz do b o ys they com e right o f back at us an shell ours . Its a case you kick my do g an Ill kick yours . Thats a nice a rrange ment for everybody but the do b o ys. Th e L o o ten ant se t up a little table an began ” I Q y o u OUGHT TO HAVE SE E N THOSE TWO LOOTE NANI' ‘ S COME DOWN ” 2 6 M OL D E H " 9 SA E BILL, MABLE squintin thru some glasse s like he was goin to lay a r " n railroad th u to Berlin . Then Shh bang an o e of those little Hungry Aw strian gun s lit in the woods behind us . Those things dont lie ar o und in the sun de cidin w e ther there goin to be duds o r i not I can tell you . I dont stand a round w a tin t o m t find out ether . I ge tin so I can drop quicker e than a war stock. When that thing lit w was at chin L o o ten ant all standin round w the . When it sta rted dist rib utin itself a round there wasnt o e o f nob dy in sight . A coupl others came right a fter it closer still . “ After a while I heard th e L o o tenant say Its ” so e e comfortable in her I hate to get out . Lik o h h he was takin a h t bath o r somet ing . Only e n didnt fool nobody th at way . Whe it looked like the Hungry Aw strians had quit everybody o o ut began p ppin of the ground agen . As soon as

" t i we was all up Shh bang . Angus cu h s eye o n a rock in the bottom of a shell hole . Hell be abl e to give pointers to Annie Kellerman when h e gets home . If he ever gets wounded Ill bet itll b e in the sole Of the foot . After that the L o o tenant decided he wouldnt o keep us ut any longer . He was afraid wed miss h o ur . T e mess war is changin some p eopl e . Well Mable Ill rite you agen in a fe w days if

I dont get put o n detached service with the Angels . until then yours e xclusively Bill

” 2 M O L D E H M " 9 8 SA E BILL, ABLE says that when he got hit the shells was fallin around him so fast that the only way he saved his f e fl e ctin ff li e was by d them O with a bayonet . Two o f them came at him at once an he got mixed up . I ast him why he didnt catch one o n the back Of h is neck like the fello do e s the cannon balls in rs the v aw de v ille show . The nu e told me yester f day h e got hi s oot run over by a truck . Every body spends there time tellin how they used to shake dice with death eve ry m o rnin before break fast . It works out all right cause nobody believes anybody else an it gives them good p ractice for when they go home . Its a funny thing about the fello in the next bed . I came in two days after he did . Four days a a fte r he got here he came down w ith ne w m o ny .

I got it two days later . He died last night . But a o f course that dont n e ce s rily mean nothin .

Cheerful an bright to the last gasp . Thats me all over , M able . Of course I dont want you to worry cause that would make me worry an theres o n n o tellin what that would bring .

Well , Mable , I got a big surprise for you . I ff k guess itll take a load o en your mind . You now all that stuff we been readin in the war stories

h o s ittle . about p s an the like . It all goes the same “ The next thing the fello knew he was lyin b e tween snowy white sheets an a b utiful v izun was v ile t bendin over him . She had eyes an was full o f tears like shed been cryin o r something . An M O L D E H "” SA E BILL, MABLE 29 9

‘ sh e smooths o ut his pillo an says Your better " o no w. That sm o thin o ut the pillo always seems I . e m sa to cure em Well , M abl , sorry to y thats — all bunk every word o f it . When I first heard they were goin to send me a h o s ittle to p behind the lines I didnt care a bit .

I wanted to have a look at a v ile t eyed nurse . Acco rdin to the books they usuly turn out to b e D tch e se r o lanni u s o s mebody . I was p n to look “ u sa D o p in her eyes an y This must be heven . you happen to have any lemonade Or some e thing mushy like that . Then shed cry some mor an like as not put a stick in the lemonade . Of course I wouldnt have married her o r noth in . In the first place all the churches Over here is knocked down an besides I got other plans if

I ever get a chance between wars . The thing started O ff all wrong by my no t bein h unco ns us when they brought me in . I didnt even

o . ride in n a stretcher . I was a sittin case They f walk . Be ore I could get into the place at all I ast had to report to a sargent . He me so many questions I thought I must have struck some re cruitin stashun an might be e nlistin agen . I pretty near had heart failure for a minit . The sargent told me report to Ward 19 . You never go any in where the army . You report . Theyd have a fello in his co flin report to his grave if they could . When they built Ward 19 they took all the joy O LD E H "” 3 00 SAME BILL, MABLE

n t e o ut o f it by makin it look like a barracks . I s d of a v ilet eyed nurse there was a blea ry eyed C a i pt n sittin in a little room in front . He didnt look as i f hed been to bed since the war sta rted . “ P I says Sir , rivate Smith reports to b e sick in Ward Nobody cried o r looked at me with “ C a tin tears in there eyes . The p just says What the this an that is the ma tter with those fello s up there do they think this is th e only h o spittle " in France " Lets se e your card . He called an orderly who showed me an empty bed where I was to be sick . Then he says If you want anything t o eat yo u better get your ” O ff close . Just like a fello couldnt eat right with “ e to se his close on . An he says You dont hav t ” your di rty shoes o n the blankets nether . After Id got in to bed the nurse came along to t em e rm nt take my p e . I aint goin to say nothin a e n g st that nurse tho . She was all right an it ile wasnt her falt she didnt have v t eyes . As for c r in sh e t o o y , M able , was busy to have shed a tear if yo u shoved a peck o f o nyuns under her nose . I never saw anybody work so hard . Shed o make a good wife for the T p sargent . It would i make him happy to s t around an watch her . o u r Well , Mable , if y dont get another lette from me youll p robably get o ne from the local e x lainin congressman p why . If the worst come to worst tell your father I didnt bear no grudge a en as think in g st him . I w yesterday about a littl e

” 6 2 OL D E 3 SAME BILL , H MABLE "

o r n motto something for my t o o m sto e . I sort

o f o ne . like this I showed it to the nurse . She said sh e never saw anything like it on anybodies o o m sto ne o t s I guess itll be all right .

O Here lies the body f Bill Smith , dead

For the good of the service , with a cold in his head Tho hed felt ( without duck in ) the bullets breeze

He was called aloft by an ordinary sneeze . yours hopefully Bill

D e re Mab le " All kinds o f things has happened since I rote you last . In the first place I didnt die o f new monya like I said I was goin t o but I bet I had the government worried about my insurance a o f couple o f times . One day they put a bunch ff u s in an ambulance an drove o . Nobody knew where we was g O in except that it was toward the front . It seemed good almost to hear those Old guns bangin away just like Id never been a gone . An then the first person I s w when they o t let me u wa s the Top sargent . Itll give you an idear how glad I was to get back to the outfit

sa kise hissel . when I y I could have d him , w an all

" Im riting this way dow n in a Dutch dug out . h l i ce rtinl Upstairs there s e l n all the time . War y o u h as changed since I went to the h o spittle . Y take more chances goin to mess up here than OLD E H "” SAME BILL, MABLE 3 03

you did goin over the top when this all started .

In half an hour , I got to go on gas gard . That means I stand in front o f the dug out an w hen

I smell something I blow a klaxon . If any Old Ford ever sneaks up behind me when I get home an blows a klaxon theyll probably se e me clap my derby over my face an dive into a coal hole . Theyve thrown so much g as at us lately that its gettin on the mens nerv es as well as there close . Most of the fello s would yell gas if you threw a p o t o f geraniums into the dugout . Somebody stepped o n Anguses hand while he was asleep o yesterday an he put s me iodine o n it . He woke up in the middle Of the night an smelt it . He had us w e arin o ur gas masks pretty near the rest of the night . But we

Ive forgot what I was goin to say there . I bet

Ive got gray hairs since I rote that last line . Just “ ” as I got t o the we I heard the o ld klaxon squawk . When I felt a round my chest for my w as fin din gas mask it wasnt there . It worse than yours elf o n the street car without a nickel on the w o n de rin way to your o wn weddin . I sat there h o w long I could hold my breth till I almost o n busted a lung . Then I remembered it was my knee under the letter where Id been usin it fo r a

ritin desk . Theyd have sent me back to the States as gas instructor if they could have seen i li ht en n . me put on that mask . Chained g Thats

M . me all over , able L 0 O D E H . 3 4 SAME BILL , MABLE

n o a s All we do wd ys is move . Back in the State 2 e it used to take us 4 hours to get ready for a hik . i Now were lucky i f we get 2 4 m in ts. We expect

h a n o anything an we v t been disappointed s far. Like the other nite when we were o n o ur way to this place . It was rainin as usual . Wed pitched pup tents in the woods an had just gotten to sleep . Angus an I was b unk in together o n some hay that h e d pulled o f a forage wagon that was caught in isse n i a j am . We was l n to the rain an sayin how n o t t lucky we was to b e out in it . That is no hin but o ur feet an there always wet so they dont ff b e atin count . Its funny how di erent rain sounds o n the sides of a pup tent an o n a tin derby . I went to sleep an dreamed I was o n a train ilo i o indo just pullin into Ph p o l s . I looked ut the w an saw your father on the platform with a whisse l H e b lo in in his mouth . was w it an dancin a round T o like a mad monkey . Then I woke up an the p was standin Outside b lo win o n his wh issel like he was t ryin to blow the pea o ut o f it an sayin Fall ”

c . in . Harness an hit h

Well , Mable , to say that bunch was sore was like callin Niagra Falls pretty . I dont supose you ever tried to make a blanket ro ll in the pitch dark an six inche s of mud . It comes out like a n j elly roll only mud i ste d o f j elly . About midnight the Top came from somewhere

an says Unhitch an unharness . Put up your pup

o in . tents . We aint ag to move

M O L D E H 3 06 SA E BILL, MABLE

I never saw so much mud . Mud seems to go with the army just like m o nkey meat an Top sargents an first calls . Theres been a whole lot o f talk about peace D lately . Angus says theres some utch O fice rs c o min thru here in an automobile to see General

Fosh about an armistice . An a rmistice is awful

cknickle . te , M able About the only way I can h tin explain it is that you dont quit fig only yo u do . Th ank s i in I may be catin gobbler at g v yet . Just now I got to quit cause theres no a rmistice yet an Im supposed to g o on gas gard at five " i f s . o clock . Its x now The ello thats on gard has been yellin down the stairs at me fer an hour e e so I guess Ill go up an s whats th e troub le . Hes an awful nervus fello . yours till I come o ff gas gard Bill

D e re Mab le

ix le . s The war i s over . Finney gare The inch head lines lost their job at leven oclock Mon

m so . day mo t in . Its quiet you can almost hear it It sure will be a come down when we have to look at picturs in the Sunday papers o f the Prince o f Whales V isitin a tooth pick factory an the flower P inn e r show at assad . It wasnt much of an endin to a worlds cham e e n sh i p p scrap . Id always thought that when they ended wars like this they lined up same as in M O L D E H M "” SA E BILL, ABLE 3 07 the pictur your father has o f whats his name sur re n de rin to thingumbob at Yorktown . I thought General Fosh would come ridin out o n a big white H in de rb e r horse an General g on a big black one . Hed hand Fosh his sord or w h isse l or whateve r n it is that Generals carry o w days . Then eve ry body would cheer , the bands would bust out with the Star Spangled Banner an it would be just like a fter the fello rides a b icicle over five ele fants f in the circus . A ter that wed hand our guns over o to some museum an go home . Someh w o r other it was to big to peter out the way it did . We fired O ff an o n Sunday night an then quit o e llo when it got daylight . Most f the f s were down in the dug outs catchin a little sleep except fo r the gards an a fe w others that was m o nk eyin around upstairs . Me an Angus was sittin in a little trench in front O f the first gun . Angus was f cle anin his revolver . I might have known rom that that something o ut o f the way was goin to happ en . The Fritzes was sowin a big field in front o f the batte ry with wash boilers . Theyd been at it all m o rn in but about the only thing they was killen h e was t grass . Not bein interested in the hay crop we wasnt callin them up to tell them about it . Every ten m in ite s or so you could feel a big o ne s t o land . Then wed stick our head up over the p o f the trench an watch it throw up mud in the air like Old Faithless guyse r. ” 0 O L D E H " 3 8 SAME BILL, MABLE

We was talkin about the armistice . Angus said i f it was sined up w e was to go to college in Ing land fo r six months o r els e to Rusha to fight th e Slovo Ch e ck rack s o r the Ch e ck o Swaybacks o r anti somebody . Not w n to do e ther I couldnt se e where the armistice wa s goin t o do me much good . Just then I saw the Top comin but it was to “ o fe llo s late to g anywhere . He says I want you to go an help unload a rashun truck thats stuck o in the mud down the r ad . An by the way , the wars over in about five minits so dont go around shootin anybody a fter that unless yo u want to land ” ab i l in the gard house . I bet i f the angel G r u stuck his head o ut o f a cloud an said the world was goin to end in twenty minits all that would worry the Top would be think in up details to keep us t sw e a in that long . Thats about all there was to the end o f the war as far as I was concerned . Angus says Ill ” b e da rn ed . Then he squinted thru his gun an handed it over to m e an says See if you think ” thats rust up near the front end . We stopped eve rybody that came along an told them about it . “ ” Most o f them would just say Ill b e darn ed . Then theyd stand around for a minit t hi nkin it “ ” over an ask When are we goin home " Youd think me an Angus wa s run nin some kind of a

Cooks toor .

Things warmed up a little after it got dark . Everybody got there fireworks o ut an touched

” 10 OL D E H " 3 SAME BILL, MABLE

O ff th e them . It was first time since we been in the war that we found o ut what a lo t o f those t rockets were . It made 4 h of July look like Sun Ph la fi day in i del a . Of cou rse all anybody thinks about now is when there goin home . Most o f the fello s is ex pectin to help put the fires out o n the family C ris mus tree . Theres a few of them thinks theyll be h ank s i in n catin homemade turkey T g v . I would t worry much if I was a turkey tho .

Well , Mable , a fter all the baths I took last winter an all Ive been rained on since I got here e I finally adopted a pack o f cooties . I guess som o ut t o Fritz left them in a dug starve . I dont know why it is that animals seem to take to m e so h av n so . This bunch is attached to me I t been able to shake them for two weeks . I used to think cooties was funny just like you think slippin o n a banana peel is funny till its your slip . Now c all I do i s scrat h , scratch , scratch . Thats me all over , Mable .

Im e nclo sin a blank slip they gave o ut today . Anybody that wants to send a C rismus present has to have one . I wasnt goin to send it first cause it sounded a little like I was exp e ctin a fi e re d o u present . Then I gg Id just tell y I didnt want one an send it for a curiosity.

I guess Ill see you in about a month . Its just a question o f findin somebody thats fool enuff to ff Y o take these guns O en o ur hands . u might as OLD E H "” SAME BILL, MABLE 3 11

t O ilin well star the victrola . You can tell your father hes goin to sit down to the biggest dinner tack e le d he ever the first Sunday after I get home , o liver r no liver . till then as always Bill Im P . S . sendin half a dozen of those slips ex tra in case the first o ne should get lost or some o f your friends wanted to send anything to some e body over her .

D e re Mab le

Y o u couldnt guess where I am now . Im not to All sure myself . I know is it isnt the way home . A coupl e O f days a fter the a rmistice was signed

we pulled the guns into what was left o f a town .

The Fritzes had just moved out . Then the Cap tin told us there was an army goin into Germany a an we was to be part of it . It struck me s a pretty low trick when wed told the Fritzes we

was thru figh tin to go right on pickin on them .

Im r o f . He said it was an honer . always lea y that In the army honer an hard work are the same

thing.

We lay around four days before we started . The L o o te n ant said that was to give the Fritzes o ut if a good start . I cant make were still at war

o r if this is some kind o f a handicap race . We

traveled a week tho and didnt see o ne o f them . O L D E H "” 3 12 SAME BILL, MABLE

I guess we gave up after that cause theyve let u s lie around here four o r five days . They call this m th e Providence of Luxemburg . I glad we didnt o r have to fight u way here . a i Y o Th nk sg v in is over . u probably know that f tho . I suppose we got a lot to be thank ul for but a fello gets a short memory when his brains a se e full o f mud . As f r as I can the turkeys had the most to crow about this year . It might have

saw . been St . Patricks day for all we of them

We had stake an gravey an potatoes . The mess sargent said we ought to be thankful it wasnt corn

Willi e . He could think up some reason why we ought to be grateful to him if b e fed us nails . Th e people here wear wooden shoes an have h big manure piles an no shapes . T eyll scrub the inside o f the hous e till its so clean you could eat ff se e ad O en the floor . Only I never could any vantage in that caus e nobody in his right mind would want to eat there . Then theyll build a ma

in nure pile right under the front w do . That aint so bad here a s it would be home cause the only time they open the w indo s is when they want to t throw something out . Then hey shut em quick so s o t they wont let u any air . I bet the greatest hardship the German arm y had w as sle epin out doors for four years . Angus says the Providence Of Luxemburg is run by a Dutchess thats young an good lookin . n I guess sh e must be a fo ri e r. Shes never been

” 1 O L D E H " 3 4 SAME BILL, MABLE married which shows shes g o t p retty good taste from all Ive seen around here . There sure will b e great opportunities over here fo r a young fell o a fter the war .

b e Well , Mable , I dont think well over here long . Angus says this is just a kind Of a parade Im to show the Fritzes how good we a re . glad

e tinl to hear your goin to a motor school . It c r y will be good when yo u have a pun cture not t o have a bunch of wimmin hangin out of the tonno askin yo u if yo u want some candy an should they e o ut g t . a s ever sick o f th e army Bill

D e re Mab le

e Fo l W crossed into the dde r and yesterday . After scrappin about it for four years nobody seemed to give a rap any more than if wed been in Y o dragg in a load o f hay . u remember how the papers used to say i f we ever drove th e Fritzes back to Germany w e could never get

. r a cross the border Proper Gander, eve y word o f it . They didnt even have a fence a round it . We just crossed a little river no wider than N Silver Creek an there we w as. O screamin wim

o ut o attik s a tro citie s. min , no stray shots f , no w Nobody even took the trouble to come o ut an hiss at us . It made eve rybody feel p retty low I can tell yo u. The only ones that took any intere st at M O L D E H M "” SA E BILL, ABLE 3 15 all was a bunch of kids in soldiers caps an stand

fat" up collars like your her wears . They seemed to think we was goin to show in their town an trotted along beside us to watch the big tent g o

up . Wed all been plannin for some time on com mittin a fe w good aw tro citie s as soon as we got o int Germany just to liven things up a bit . As usual tho when the C apt in s runnin the party c anything sporty is ruled o ut . The only awtro i ties hell let us commit is makin faces at the h Fritzes . The w ole thing ha s been an awful dis dife rent appointment . This country aint no from f France or the o n e we just le t . It aint even col

ored dife re nt like it is o n the map . Theres a fello from Milw awk e in o ur battery e inl e named Jo e Bush . It c rt y helps to have som

body around that speaks German . Last night Jo e told me hed found a regular bed in o ne o f the Fritz houses that the O fice rs seemed to have f O f k missed . He traded me hal it for a pac age

e . of cigarets . Back to the hay barn for me tonit A German bed is like a loa f o f bread thats rose so r to much . Its high you need a chai to get onto

it . I guess youd need a coroner if you ever rolled

O ff it . When I first got up on it I couldnt make

o ut where the bed close was . Then I found there

e se s o ne was two m atdr s , about four feet thick an su the other o n top about a foot thick . Your p Th e posed to sleep between them like a sanwidge . ” 16 OL D E H M " 3 SAME BILL, ABLE little m atdre ss is built so it just reaches from your neck to your ankles if you aint to tall . You can get th e idear by lyin down an puttin a so fa pillo over f ff o yo u. Ether the Fritzes has aw ul tu feet r drink there built like a pocket in cup . I tried rollin up like a dog till Joe caught onto it to .

Well , Mable , in about an hour I felt like I was se e in the hot room o f a Turks bath . I dont how the Germans is so fat if they sleep between these things . The young girl in a kimony o n the cover of the Murad boxes gives yo u an idear how you

sh e sleep o n a German b ed . I never knew why looked so discouraged before . The old fell o that owned the bed seemed kind o f scared at first . I guess he thought after we found what it was like we might commit a few awtro citie s just to put us to sleep . We agreed to call O ff the awtro citie s i f hed leave his Frow cook us up a mess o f w aflles toot sw eet . Frow is what they call there wives , M a

F o r w sie . ble . I guess its short for I got to start in fo rg e ttin my French now an

n begin o Dutch . I bet I talk pigen Inglish when

Ian I get home . I dont have much trouble with

i sa gu g e s tho . I can y quite a few things already “ ” “ ” “ ” like Ya and Nine an Vas iss . Thats all right if your just o ut for a social time but it aint any good in co mm e rshul li fe .

” 1 OL D E H 1 3 8 SAME BILL, MABLE Its no use tellin you to rite I never get your letters . yours disgustedly Bill

D e re Mab le R We crossed the ine day before yesterday . It was Friday the 13 th but the bridge held up in spite f o R . Im it . The ine didnt look like much to me n o t o o Its much f a judge f rivers tho . been rainin fo r three days an it would take an awful lot o f water in o ne place to make much imp re shun o n me . We all thought we was goin to a town by the C name Of oblence . The Mess sargent had told us eve rybody was to have a room to himself an that most o f the time wh en we wasnt at the mov i ies wed be cano n up an down the river . The armies go t an idear tho that if yo u let a soldier get near anything thats worth while hell take it to pieces an cart it away . So they saved Coblence by goin a round it . That night we stuck the horses and guns in the front yard o f a Chatto . It looked more like Cen tral Park to me . The fello that owned the place was standin at the gate when we came in . He had on a green felt hat with the edges curled up like a derby an a feather stuck in it . I wouldnt have been su rprised if hed started to yodel . I bet he was a s glad to see us a s the m e e sels. A S O LD E H "” AME BILL, MABLE 3 19

regiment O f field artile ry walkin around your no front ya rd aint grass cultivator .

fo r This isnt a bad place to lay over a day tho . ff The town is built round a big cli . On top is the o l ruins f an o d cassel . Some o f the town tried to clime up the side o f th e cliff an got stuck half way . In the house where Im b ilite d the front door is where it ought t o be an the back door opens onto the street from the third floor . I can “ Run hear your mother sayin , up in the attik , Ma ” se e ble , an who that is knockin at the back door . nnin Theres a little stream ru thru the town . Its o V ery beautiful an full f tin cans . The sides are all bricked up . The Fritzes would make the trees grow square if they could . The hills go straight up all around us. I dont know how the stream ever got in here o r how were goin to get o ut . It cer i l tile r t n y is a useful place for ar y. About the o nly thing you could shoot o ut of here would be a skyrocket . They told us we was goin to have yesterday to h ourselves . T en the last minit they made us all take a bath . In the army they dont give you credit for k no win h o w or when to take a bath .

They have a co rp e ral there to show you . The o ne they had o n the job yesterday must have learned from a correspondence school .

Y o u dont get into a bath here . You take it out o f something an spread it over you . This time theyd heated a big kettle o f water in a wood shed . ” 20 M O L D E H " 3 SA E BILL, MABLE

Y o u dipped o ut a p ailful an put some of it over you an the rest over you r close . Just about the time youve got a good lather worked up the cor peral says Come on . Hurry up an get your

m inits . close o n . Your eight is up Ford ought f to get hold Of that ello . Hed have them poppin

t o o u f the factory like corn o ut O f a roaster . ne I didnt get a bath , but I didnt need o . Me an Angus both took o n e the day a fter the armis tice was signed . There aint nothin thatll keep a man fit like keepin clean a s the poets say. D c Everyones sore at these ut hmen . They h av nt got as much spirit as a bottle of near beer . All they do is take O ff there hats to us like we was a bunch of ladies an say “ Tag I thought “ ” o C a tin first th ey was sayin D g . I went to the p an ast him if I could clean up with the next fellO that said it . Th e C ap tin said Tag was just Fritz fo r H o w dy. Then I ast him if I could clean up half a dozen o f them anyway just to get them started “ o n . the right lines He says Smith , if you try any o f you r back alley sanitashun around here youll be cle an in up around th e gard house as

h . quick as we get o ne . He t inks hes awful funny

Thats the way it goes , tho , Mable . One day your a quitter if yo u dont throw everything but the kitchin stove at a fello and the next day they want you to kiss him . Im sendin yo u a lot o f post cards I paid eighty

” 22 M O L D E H M " 3 SA E BILL, ABLE

t o f n i w e n gs fo r. I dont know wether that was a e bargin o r a fortun . I never seen any places like these but they give you a good idear o f the coun o try . I got t quit now cause there linin up for o o h mess . If I ever get ut f t is army I wont stand in line agen if they was handin o ut five dollar o bills . If you want to g to the movies with m e o y u got to go early an avoid the rush . Tell Archie Wainwright I wish h im a merry C i m o r s us cause its liable t be his last . His only chance fo r a happy New Yea r is if the war breaks o ut agen . Until it does yours Bill

D e re Mable

t No Weve quit b ikin at la s . t because we get e anyplace tho . Why they stopped her when there is a road goin right thru is more than I can fig ger . Theres about fifty houses in this place . I guess most o f them was built as soon as the flood was dried out enuff so s they could lay the fo unda h av n shuns . I t seen a new house since I been in utt in e Germany . A place that wed be p bronz tablets on they think h as just been built .

They seem to b e short o n everything over here . e From what I seen they live mostly o n p o t ado s. ff The only thing they get enu o f is mud . Our guns is parked in a field an if we stay here much longer well have to blast to get them out . M O L D E H ” SA E BILL, MABLE " 3 23

C a tin The p says the rules o n letter t itin is o ff an sa h we can y w ere we are . The only thing we

cant do is criticize the a rmy . I dont know where we are an I couldnt spell it anyhow so theres not much to rite about .

o n o w inste o f We sleep in ro ms d barns . The D utch dont seem to care much . I can hear your mother if four tramps came walkin into her front o n p arlor an went to sleep the floor . The o ld fello that owns the room thinks were crazy b e

e t o o ur windo s r caus we have open eve y night . He told Jo e Bush there wasnt any use makin a fire fo r us cause when he spent the whole evenin gettin the room full o f heat wed open the windo an let it all o ut . When we first got into that room I guess it had the original heat his g ranfath e r put in it .

C rismus is only a few days away. I suppose theyll let us sleep half an hour extra fo r a C rismus p resent an then forget to tell the buglers like they as did last year . About all it amounted to w standin around in the rain half an hour longer fo r mess . I h av nt had my feet under a table now in four

so w e arin months . Theyve gotten big since I been these army shoes that I dont know if theyll go under any more . When I get home Ill probably pile my whole dinner in a soup plate an take it out in th e b ack yard . ” 2 M O L D E H " 3 4 SA E BILL, MABLE

fe elin c ertinl All aside , Mable , it y will be good to get my food seperated agen . These fe llo s would pour your co ffee over your dinner if there was any room . When you come up to the kitchin K P the first . . sticks a piece o f meat in the bottom

o f . o f fo undash n your mess kit Thats a sort a u . Then a spoonful o f loose p o t ado e s hit it like a soft nose bullet an thats the last you se e o f you r meat . The next fello covers that with a quart of gravy an sticks a pickle in the t o p with his thum like inlaid work . The last one levels it o ff with o a piece f bread slammed on like a cover . Angus says its a wise man that knows his o wn dinner un a less hes got good memory .

Ive learned to put down an awful lot of food , o tho , in less time than it takes to chew it . Y u

o got to be fast if you want any seconds . Some f these fe llo s must store up there food like squir rels cause there finished an b ack in the line before its moved ten places . There s always some smart alex that washes up his mess kit an p retends hes just come up from the picket line . We got a mess sargent tho that makes Shylock Homes look like a night watchman . He could tell yesterdays greece from todays if you scoured your mess kit with sandp aper . The Fritzes a re more balled up o n there money fello s t than t h e French . These don even know what the stuffs worth themselves . They have two i f fe nn s . kinds o money , g an marks I dont know

OLD E H "” 3 26 SAME BILL, MABLE wether marks make fe nnigs o r fennigs make n marks . I k ow they both make me tired . Its about as e asy to buy anything here a s it i s to la n d che ck up a Chinese w ry bill . They tell you o fenni s the price f a thing in g an marks . Then you got t o figge r that int o franks an figg e r what its all worth in United States . Just to give your mind a little exercise fennig s an marks aint th e minite s same more than five . Everybody has there o wn idear of what there worth an the fello thats doin the sellin never ha s the same idear that you have . The first time I bought a glass o f beer in Ger many it took me so long to p ay fo r it I almost o got arrested for bein ut a fter taps . We never T h did decide the thing . e reason none o f these fello s over h ere never get spi ffed is b ecause they make you pay after every drink . Youd be more likely to die o f thirst . h v t Crismus Im I a n received no box yet . glad you an your mother did a s I told you an didnt pay any at e nshun to those slips I sent you for curiosi ties . If thered been any chance of sendin you any thing Id have done it . Y o u dont want to feel bad about that tho , cause this idear of looking at Cris ce rtinl mus like a horse swap is all wrong . I y a hope you have a merry C rismus . Youll prob bly get this letter sometime in August . Yours opt imistically Bill OLD E ” SAME BILL . H MABLE " 3 27

D e re Mab le

Crismus Another an New Years has gone by. I wonder where theyll pick o ut for me to spend my o n next e . I wish I could get hold o f a g e o g rafy se e f an what places are le t . One of these days I may b e able to get a furlo fo r Crismus if we happen t o b e figh tin some country right near

home . Then I can tell you how all the different nashuns spend there holidays . I kn ew thered be some string o n sle epin late C i m m f r s us mo t in . The day be ore there was a

ello ell couple Of f s late to revelry . They were f o s whod never done any work anyw ay so I couldnt

e e C a ti i s how it mattered much . The p n sa d hed " been plann in on lettin us sleep till seven o clock Crismus but if we couldnt learn to make revel ry

i in ix wed have to keep o n p ract s gettin up at s . It seems to me if a fello dont know how to do that

six now he never will . If I get up at the first C rismus I spend hom e itll be six in the evening you can bet . C rismus m o rnin they lined us all up an gave “ ea ch fell o a little box marked G re e tins from the sa Folks at Home . Only they didnt y whose

folks . Inside there was some tobacco an cigarets

an ch o ck o lat e an the like . Angus thinks theres

something foney about it somewhere . He says like as no t theyll take it o ut of o ur next pay roll or u o ur A L o t Me ants. Angus wo ld think you had ” 2 M O L D E H " 3 8 SA E BILL , MABLE some axe to grind if you pulled him o ut of a burn b i in u ldin . We didnt have nothin to do Crisma s but take “ o o li in care f the horses an the usual p c . That le ft me with almost an hou r in the middle o f the t day without anything o do . I was goin to rite you a letter but I felt kind o f drowsy . Ever since I been in the army Ive said that my first duty was

inst e . to keep fit so I went to sleep d Patriotic .

Thats me all over , Mable . The re asen I got a chance to rite this letter is because some horse stepped on my foot the other day an I cant walk . It wasnt any accident . That horse an me never got along . Hes been layin for me ever since I b rushed his teeth with a curry o brush . The more I see f horses the more I want to meet the fello that wrote Black Buty . He must have learned about horses in a carpenter shop . Im goin t o rite a book about them when I get home that will put the S . P . C . A . out of business . I g o t to stop ritin now an answer sick call with s my foot . Yesterday they gave me some pill . I suppose today theyll look at my tongue an tell me st mm i its my u ck thats o ut o f order . h av nt so ictur Well , M able , I had much as a p post card from you in two weeks . I hope that fello Archie Wainwright aint b o th e rin yo u agen o ur h o ittle s ff Im cause sp is crowded enu now . still a gentleman but if I ever catch h im m o ldin h ammick h is fi e r— your around gg well , Mable , Id

” 6 O L D E H " 3 3 SAME BILL, MABLE talk it over with him cause I seen enuff blood shed already . yours doubtfully till I hea r Bill

D e re Mable I got the first real news fo r you Ive had since I j oined the army . Were comin home toot sweet . Theres an outfit o n its way up here now to relieve inl o f . c e t us It r y will relieve m e . Just a couple weeks longer an then no more square heads , no more fl annel bandages around my legs , no more engins without cowcatchers . It wont seem right at first . I expect Ill feel like I was an run a round the corner eve ry time I see a police o ne o f man . Theres man they neednt b e a frai d ever sta rtin any more wars an his names Smith . If I ever have a so n an h e so much as sta rts o ff with his left foot hes goin to have the worst lick in f you ever heard o .

A General inspected us today . I cant help feel in s orry for his wife . She must spend most of her time lookin fo r a new hired girl . If he ever said anything nice to anybody I bet hed come back an o apologize . Hes the kind f a fello that eats his o wn young . Everybody knew the General wasnt comin over 5 0 to hang no wreaths a round nobodies neck . t we all slicked up pret y well to humor him . Everything would have gone o ff as well as you ” O L D E H " 1 SAME BILL, MABLE 3 3 1

e could have expected if it hadnt been for that hors .

A j okes all right in its place but its place aint un‘ der a General . The horse was so big that the

General like to have bust gettin up . As soon as se t he got the horse took a couple of steps . Then he sat down in the mud like a dog an let o ut a groan . ff Of course it was all O then . By the time hed coaxed that horse up to the battery he was so sore hed have found rust on the perly gates an put

Saint Peter under arrest fo r not bein shaved . When he got around to my se ck shun I thought he was about due to be o ut o f breath . I had a li ttle rip in my pants t hat I hadnt had time to sew an b o die d up . Nothing y notice Just my knee f se e stickin thru . That ello could a hole in your undershirt tho . When he came up to me he looked me over like I was a win do dummy that he didnt C a tin care much about . Then he says to the p “ What do you mean by lettin a man stand in ” spe ck shun like that " The C aptin looked at me surprised like hed h never seen me befor e . T en he turns to the sar “ gent an says Sargent , I want a report on why hun was that man pe rmitted to stand insp e ck s in ” that co ndishun . They all talk as if they were n doin me a favor by lettin me stand insp e ck shu . Ill tell the world I didnt go around an ask no bodies p e rm ishun . The sargent looked at my pants kind of hurt ” 2 A O L D E H M " 3 3 S ME BILL, ABLE

ne w like I hadnt ast for a pair thi rty seven times . After the General had put the whole battery un der arrest an rode away to get some raw meat he

r a e nst e sighed like a fello that eve ybodies g . Th n “ he turns to the co rp e ral an says What the this D an that do you mean by gettin me in utch , you big space filler SO the c o rp e ral stuck me o n detail m an acurin the streets fo r a couple o f days . About all there is left fo r me is to go around an kick a few horses

t m ic in the s u m k a fter dark . The funny part about it is that everybody knew there hadnt been n o pants ish ue d since we got here . Half the fe llo s in the batte ry is comin thru in places the General couldnt see because he was ff mounted . That dont make no di erence . A fel lo s knees aint got no rights in this m ans army . I wish I was a Lady from Hell an I wouldnt have ickle t e ckn . to bother about pants . Thats , M able

I don t guess youll get it .

They call this passi n the buck . In the army they got it fixed up so that nothin aint ever nobodies

Its . fault . al w ays on the next fello down That works o ut p retty good unless you happen to be o n the bottom step like me . I dont know why they n s a call it passin the buck . I ever w it p ass him yet .

Your C rismus box came yesterday . It sure was good o f you to send it a fter all I s aid . At least a good part of it came c o nside rin o ne end o f the

M OLD E H "” 3 84 SA E BILL , MABLE b o f x was gone . There was enuf left to give me an idear of what had been in it . The only rea so n that any o f it got here was because theyd set so many things o n top o f it that some o f the stuff t t got kind of baled an s uck o th e insides . The thing that struck us most was the size o f the box . Whoever go t that up must have thought th at the folks at home was goin to send u s j ewel C r n rey for ismus. I did t ca re cause I kn ew it wasnt your falt . Joe took it kind of hard tho cause he forgot to send any slip s home an he was o c o i kind f unt n o n me . I got six letters from yo u all at once a couple o f days ago . You must carry them around in your pocket a week o r tw o like I do when anybody o gives m e a bunch to mail . I didnt care ab ut any thing tho when I read that Archie Wainwright had gone an married that little snub nosed thing h across the street . I guess e must have been tipped o ff that no b o die d given him the freedom of the ci ty . Some reason or other tho I feel madder at him than I did before . I guess theres got to b e a casulty when I get home anyway . I aint goin to rite any more cause the sargent ast me to help him o ut thi s a fternoon cle anin the guns . I dont like to leave him to do it all alone wh en were so near the finish . Tell the good news to your father an mother . Yours on the hom e stretch Bill OLD E H ” SAME BILL, MABLE " 3 3 5

D e re Mab le

Here I am t itin you at the g o v e rmints expense for the last time . Were in the same place where fi we rst rested almost a year ago . It hasnt changed much except theyve gotten in more mud an tents since then an there aint so many boats to unpack . Weve tu rned in o ur So iz ant Canses to some c monument fa tory . Weve said good by to our fo r Th horses ever . e last thing on e of them did as was to try an kick me I went past . Thats O there idea f gratitude . Now we got less to do than the do b o ys cause we h av nt even got rifles h to clean . T is is the last letter youll ever get from me in France . If I have my say about it its the last letter youll ever get from me anywhere .

I never want to get o ut o f telefone range agen .

Our boat is all ready. This will probably travel over o n the same boat with me . I wanted to rite

E . F . you from the A . . for the last time An by E x e ctm the way , Mable , that dont mean Am p

Flowers but Am Extremely Fortunate . There aint much to say just like there aint much

f . to do . I feel aw ul funny I cant exactly explain Iv e . it . Of course I want to go home Thats all i wanted to do since November . At the same t me m m I feel kind o f sad like you do when your co

h n . back t o work from your summer v acas u We o been in the o ld a rmy s long, an weve done the same things an cussed at them so many times , that 6 O LD E H A "” 3 3 SAME BILL, M BLE you get sort o f fond o f the whol e business just like you do any j o b that takes an awful long time o fin an a lo t f hard work to finish , but that youve ish e o d. I guess y u could get sentimental about

— piece work in a factory after youd quit . I never thought when I sat here in the mud last May an rote yo u h o w Id escaped from the pearls o f se a s sa sit the , as the poet y, that Id ever here agen an rite yo u that I was comin home . I never m en shune d this o f course fo r fear it would worry you . Now that its all over tho its all right to talk about it . It wasnt that I was scared cause I guess you know that I was never scared o f nothin .

Nerveless . Thats me all over , M able . But I used to think o f h o w hard youd take it when you saw t h e a it in papers , n how people would come an look at your house an shake there heads an

o walk away . Some f them would pull out a lace h ank e rch e ff o ut o f there neck o r sleeve or wh e r ever you carry those things . Theyd touch up ther e “ ” eyes a bit an say I knew him well , wether they o did r not .

Y o u know , Mable , that once o r t wi ce when I get lyin awake at night th inkin about all that stuff I came pretty near cryin myself it struck me as so sad . The o ne I liked to think Of best tho was the minister sayin a fe w b utiful words about me Sun day . All the people was tum in around to look at i you . Y o u were cry n quiet like an your mother

LD E H A ” 3 3 8 SAME O BILL , M BLE " was t ryin to keep the tears fro m sp ot tin the red h im na Moroko l. An here I am safe an sound without even a wound stripe . I feel the sam e way that I did when I came across on the boat without getting sunk . It aint fair to you somehow or other . I o f f o f kind cheated somehow , tho for the li e me fi e r I cant g how . It makes me into a sort of a I third class crook but m glad to be one . Theres been an awful lot of talk in the papers an magazines about h o w were comin h o m e changed men . I dont believe your goin to have

re co niz in P any trouble g me , Mable . erhaps Ive gotten a little stouter . Thats about all . Even C a tin the p , whose been with m e ever since we “ started , was sayin to me the other day Smith , I cant se e any difference in you since the first day ” o u y came into the army . I got th inkin the other night what a lot of good yarns I had to spin when I got home . I wa s plan nin o n how people would probably ask me a round to dinner sos I could amuse em with stories nshun An about the war . I happened to m e it to gus an he says yes an there was about two milyun ff others plannin the same thing. He says the stu ab o ut the folks that stay at home suffe rin the most no was never truer than it is just w . SO Ive just sworn O ff talkin war when I get home . I aint never goin to get like that fello down in Henrys ba rber shop that just sits a round OLD E H M "” SAME BILL, ABLE 3 3 9

all day t ryin to get somebody to lissen to the Bat tle o G eth i b f s urg . s e shul a h I may have p o cc s uns when I let loose . Like once in a while when were sittin alone eve n ins in the little house with the green blinds that

aint built yet . Then Ill get out the helmet that belonged to the red headed Fritz an the lo o ge r pistel an the i run crosses . Ill tell you how the big

" ones sounded when they went over the dug out . r Ill show yo u how Fritz says K am a ad. Ill tell you about b ile ts an mud an Top sargents an sa Crismus whiz bangs . Perhaps once a year, y

'

t el . o r something , Ill l about goin over the top I

got to get that out o f my sistem once in a while . The rest of the time Im goin to be just plain

do cte r Mr . Bill Smith , or brick layer or lawyer or street car conductor— anything in fa ct that hasnt

got any horses connected with it .

So good by fo r a while . The next time you here from m e itll be the scrapin of my hobnails

. o ut . o n the front stoop . Then look Impulsive

Thats me all over, Mable .

TH E E ND