The Western New York Volume 8, Issue 4 Perinatal Bereavement Network, Inc. Nov 2011—Feb 2012 F ORGET-M E-N OT

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: FROM OUR HEART TO YOURS Holiday Memorial 2 Services Save the Dates! Getting Through the 2 December 7, 2011 7:00 PM Holidays Helenic Orthodox Church of the Annunciation in Buffalo Network News 3 A Service of Remembrance… sponsored by Women’s and Children’s Hospital of Buffalo 19th Annual Walk to 4-5 December 11, 2011 7:00 PM Remember St. Gregory the Great Church in Williamsville Caring Arms Support Circle’s Holiday Memorial Candlelight Service Forget-You-Nots 6-7 January 5, 2012 7:00 PM Poetry 8 Sisters of Charity Hospital Chapel in Buffalo Thoughts on the Walk to 9 Footprints on the Heart Holiday Memorial Service Remember Dear Gabriella 9 WNYPBN M EMBER O RGANIZATIONS Car Magnets Available 9 Brooks Memorial Hospital Kaleida Health Niagara Falls Memorial Hospital Women & Children’s Buffalo Prenatal / Perinatal NYS Center for S.I.D.S. Safe Arrivals 10 Hospital of Buffalo Network Olean General Hospital Lending Library 10 Millard Fillmore Suburban Catholic Health System Hospital United Memorial Medical Mercy Hospital Submission Info and 10 Center Sisters of Charity Hospital Jones Memorial Hospital WNYPBN Donation WCA Hospital Info The Center for Hospice & Life Transitions Center, Inc. Palliative Care March of Dimes Foundation Wyoming County Community 11 Health System Kids’ Stuff: Eastern Niagara Hospital— Mount St. Mary's Hospital of Zack Buckner Lockport Division Lewiston Area Support Groups 11 L ETTER F ROM T HE E DITOR www.WNYPBN.org I hope you all like the new look newsletter to look more daughters in heaven… but for the Forget - Me- No t professional and snazzy!  something for myself in their newsletter. Since I had a honor is always called for! serious mishap with my The holidays always prove to be Enjoy this edition and have a WNYPBN, Inc. previous computer, all a hectic and trying time, so I do blessed and peaceful holiday Board of Directors: templates from previous hope you will do something for yourselves this season. You Dr. William Zorn, President editions are gone, so I thought season! I’d take the time to re-vamp the deserve it, I’m sure! I always do Rev. Richard Zajac, Vice some things to honor my President Lisa Jerebko, Secretary Suzanne Mis, Treasurer M ISSION S TATEMENT : Dawn Both-Kim, John Curr, Melissa Guido, Lesley parents. The WNYPBN supports Jordans, Francine Kane, Jan The mission of the Western New of perinatal death. We promote York Perinatal Bereavement Net- standards of bereavement inter- an established standard of care Walkden, Lisa Wolff work (WNYPBN), Inc. is to assist vention through educational sup- following a perinatal death, re- Christine Scott, Executive the community to meet the port, community programs, and gardless of the facility where the Director needs of people facing the pain referral services to bereaved birth took place. Page 2 Volume 8, Issue 4

A SERVICE OF R EMEMBRANCE ... Sponsored by Women’s and Wednesday, December 7, 2011 Please park behind the church Children’s Hospital of Buffalo at 7:00 PM and enter through the front Hellenic Orthodox doors facing Delaware. You are invited to A Candlelight Church of the Annunciation Service of Remembrance to 146 W Utica St. A reception by the Women’s honor children who have died. (corner of Delaware) Philoptochos Committee will Please join us for an evening of Buffalo 14222 follow the service. In case of inclement weather, compassion, music, reflection We look forward to seeing you. and friendship. call 716-878-7773 for further information.

M EMORIAL C ANDLELIGHT S ERVICE

KALEIDA’s Millard Fillmore Sub- Please join us as we celebrate Questions may be directed to urban Hospital invites you to: our Sons and Daughters during Terri Fronczak (716) 743-1159 this season of love. Parents, Caring Arms Support Circle's grandparents, friends, relatives, Annual Memorial caregivers and clergy are warm- Candlelight Service ly welcome. Sunday, December 11, 2011 Reception will immediately fol- at 7:00 PM low the service… please bring a St. Gregory the Great Church simple snack to share during 100 St. Gregory Court Fellowship Time. Williamsville 14221

In case of inclement F OOTPRINTS O N T HE H EART weather during any of Sisters of Charity Hospital January 5, 2012 Please arrive 15-20 minutes Invites you to the At 7:00 PM early so we may start on time. the Memorial Events, Footprints on the Heart Sisters Hospital Chapel, Feel free to bring a memento or Annual Candlelight Memorial 2nd Floor photo of your baby for the altar. please call the contact Service 2157 Main Street A reception of light refreshment person listed for Buffalo 14214 will follow the service. Please join us for an evening of Due to the solemn nature of cancellations and further music, reflection and lighting of this service, we request attend- candles in memory of our ba- ance by ADULTS ONLY. details. bies who have died through miscarriage, stillbirth or early If interested in attending or you need further information, infant death. please RSVP Fran Kane, RNC at 716-862-1678

G ETTING T HROUGH THE H OLIDAYS Whether this is your first year smile on my face for the world hang on the tree… I get more after a loss, or your fifty-first to see a “normal” me. I felt every year. year, you will likely miss your anything BUT normal. But I also baby during the holidays more knew that my particular holi- But this is ME… this is how I than other times of the year. days would have been worse if I chose and needed to spend my Christmas, especially, is geared didn’t have the house decorat- holidays. Many people may not toward children, making it hard ed and been prepared for the be able to celebrate the holidays, for those of us who do not have holidays. I had been given a or will need to change their cus- our baby with us. It is horrible, small stocking that read, toms and traditions to correlate it is terrible, it is sad… but we “Baby’s First Christmas” that I with how they are feeling. This is completely okay, too! The take- somehow make it through. hung up in a prominent place in our house. I also wrote a note home message is… do what you I remember my first year after to my baby girl, placing it in the need to do, and take care of your- losing Marrina. I forced myself stocking. I ended up getting self… your baby would want you to decorate early and slapped a Christmas ornaments for her to to. By: Dawn Both-Kim Forget-Me-Not Page 3

I can’t believe that fall is here er, I feel so blessed for all the ing together, giving another and that the winter season is changes that occurred this an opportunity to heal. right around the corner. Time year. The Network is finally The New York City Association passes so quickly and the settled into our new space of Neonatal Nurses (NYCANN) four seasons seem to whirl operating as an independent invited me to speak at an around us like a strong Lake public charity. The Still Birth educational conference in wind. A special friend and bill has passed and is finally a New York City the week after Walk to Remember Commit- law after such a devoted, Without Changes, the Walk to Remember. tee Member, Sarah Noonan, emotional and long fight. The There were 14 different NYC put the whirlwind of life in Bill was introduced to New there would be no hospitals represented at the perspective one day as the York State in 2007 and had conference. I was honored committee was at a meeting. gone through a number of Butterflies! that our organization has We were discussing the changes until it was finally grown so much that we are theme for this year’s Walk to passed this September! Our being given the opportunity to Remember. She said Network continues to help the assist professionals across “Through the change of sea- newly bereaved, as well as the state with the training sons and time our love for you parents who have been suf- they need to keep helping remains forever rooted in our fering in silence for 20, 30, families and honoring the hearts.” As I reflect on this 40 years; senior citizens in tiniest of lives. It was a won- statement and look back at our community have reached derful experience, and I hope the transitional year (seasons) out to another generation as it was as meaningful to them our Network encountered, the they heal their own hearts one thing that is a constant is and make Wings of Love urns. as it was to me! the deep rooted love we have Bereaved moms are support- During this holiday season for our children. Our Network ed by other bereaved moms and always I wish you peace, brings the community of be- that offer a listening ear and healing and hope. Always reaved families together so hope. Beautiful, hand- remember our children’s tiny we can continue to grieve, stitched burial garments souls have touched our own remember, share, and heal clothe our tiniest of angels as and will live on in our hearts together. they are laid to rest. The dedi- forever for love doesn’t die. cation of many volunteers As the Network’s Executive that lend their heart, hand, Sincerely, Director and bereaved moth- time and talent keep us com- Christine

Light a candle for your baby during the P REGNANCY & I NFANT L OSS A WARENESS holidays... October has been designated as National to help promote awareness for grieving “Dear baby of mine, please see Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness parents who have lost their babies during this light as a symbol of our never Month. The national observance of this pregnancy or shortly after birth. This trage- ending love for you. Please under- month as proclaimed in 1988 by President dy is often suffered in silence for mothers, stand that this love knows no limits or Ronald Regan, offers us the opportunity to fathers, siblings and grandparents. bounds; it conquers even the hold of increase our understanding of the great death. Let this light shine in memory tragedy involved in the deaths of unborn The WNYPBN supplied the hospital staff with awareness ribbons such that they of our love, in celebration of the life and newborn babies. It also enables us to we shared together, however brief, consider how we can meet the needs of could show their support for families. Lit- erature was also displayed in the hospitals and in the hope that tomorrow will be bereaved parents and family members a brighter day. We feel your spirit with to provide educational support. suffering from this tragedy. us even now, gently guiding and This year, the WNYPBN created an initia- October is an awareness month for many strengthening us. With this light we tive in all of our 13 collaborative hospitals different causes. The WNYPBN has tried to will remember the true gifts of the that encouraged staff members to partici- create a remembrance for those who have season; memories of holidays past, pate in some activities, sponsored by the lost so much and create much needed hope for present peace and love to Footprints on the Heart program of Sisters awareness on pregnancy and infant loss. last a lifetime. We will forever feel of Charity Hospital. These activities aimed By: Dawn Both-Kim & Christine Scott your presence and love you, always.” Page 4 Volume 8, Issue 4

Nearly 850 people attended the 19th Annual Walk to Remember on October 9, 2011 at Cheektowaga Town Park

R E C AP: T HE 19TH A NNUAL W ALK TO R EMEMBER AT C HEEKTOWAGA T OWN P ARK October 9, 2011 was a sunshiny, warm, beautiful addition to our Walks, as he joined programs and services. Services such as breezy day filled with love, tears and healing the planning team for last year’s event. the Wings of Love Memorial Fund, that at Cheektowaga Town Park for the 19th An- helps with burial expenses for infants up to th nual Walk to Remember. Nearly 850 people Senator Timothy M. Kennedy, D-58 District, one year old, the Angel Robes Program, that attended to celebrate this beautiful event spoke at the Walk this year. His address provides infant burial garments to hospitals that included a beautiful and meaningful explained the newly passed law, the Certifi- in our 8-county region, as well as the WNY- candle-lighting ceremony, a balloon release, cate of Still Birth Law, and his participation PBN’s Lending Library, providing books for a tree-planting and the Memorial Walk. A in the law’s progress over the past several bereaved families, are among the various picnic lunch was also provided by Frontier years. Senator Kennedy has felt a connec- programs that will be supported with the Catering for those families participating in tion to this Law, as he is a bereaved Uncle modest funds collected at this worthwhile to John Christian Jude Mulderig and a be- the Walk. event. reaved Father to Brigid Nicole Kennedy. The The candle-lighting ceremony included poet- State has 180 days in which to implement Finally, for an event this size, the 19th Annu- ry read by Molly Bigaj, Amy Buckner, Melissa and begin issuing the Certificates of Still al Walk to Remember is planned and run Guido and Debi Zmuda. There was also Birth, so families of Still Born babies can impeccably! Without the extreme efforts of music performed by the very talented sing- look to apply for these Certificates some the WNYPBN’s Executive Director, Christine er/songwriter Billy Elson and, as always, the time in March-April. We will post infor- Scott, and her diligent team of volunteers, amazing Abby Unger, the Director of Expres- mation on our website as it becomes availa- the event would not be the memorable and sive Therapies for The Center for Hospice ble. beautiful event that we have come to know and Palliative Care. No Walk would be com- and appreciate. Thank you, Christine, for This year’s event raised nearly $26,000 to plete without Abby’s angelic voice! And your amazing efforts and planning! Billy’s musical prowess is a welcomed and support and fund the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network’s important By: Dawn Both-Kim

T HANK Y OU! We would like to thank all of you from the Don't forget to keep up with us on Face- bottom of our hearts, for dedicating the book, and at our website, www.WNYPBN.org time, energy, and love into making the 19th and we look forward to seeing you all again Annual "Walk to Remember" so unforgetta- throughout the year, whether it’s at our ble! Without all of your help, the success of events, or perhaps one of our programs or this event would not have been possible. All services. of the funds that we raised will ensure the success of so many of our programs and Our Heartfelt Thanks to You All, outreach to so many in the coming months. Most Sincerely, Christine Scott To our friends, and families: all of you con- Executive Director, WNYPBN tinue to make our invaluable work possible! & All of your time, your love, and most certain- Laura Reyda ly your presence continue keeping the mem- 19th Annual "Walk to Remember" Co-Chair Laura Reyda and Christine Scott - ories of all of our Angels alive and give us the 19th Annual Walk to Remember the ability to be there for so many more families.

Forget-Me-Not Page 5

S PONSORING THE W ALK TO R EMEMBER We would like to give a special Family Donations: $50 & over Volunteer Groups “Thank You” to the 19th Annual Thank you to all the families Wickett Family Kohl’s Cares – Associates in Walk to Remember Sponsors: that spent their time to collect Scott Family Action, Cheektowaga YES, Girl funds to help support the im- Withey Family Scout Troop 1912 Angel Sponsor: portant programs of the WNY- Harris Family The Hyde Foundation PBN. These funds were collect- Lillie Family Finally, a most sincere thank ed both in person and via the Tomaszewski Family you to all of the DAY OF volun- Butterfly Sponsors new FirstGiving Website Frick/Leisenheimer Family teers and the 19th Annual Walk Mentholatum Company (www.firstgiving.com/WNYPBN). Messecar-Gilmore Family to Remember Committee Mem- Village Veterinary Clinic of Ham- This website is still available to Morgan Family bers who gave so much of their burg continue to collect donations Kim Family time to make this event the toward this worthy cause! Graziano Family beautiful day that it was: Dove Sponsors Kelly Anderson Damon Morey, LLP Arena Family, Frankowski Fami- Kelly Arena Kohl's Department Store #962 - ly, and Richardson Family for Molly Bigaj Lancaster/Depew bringing in well over $1,000 in Dawn Both-Kim U.B. Pediatric Associates - Divi- donations each! Shannon Brown sion of Neonatology Melissa Browne Moderncraft Home Improve- $900 & over Michelle Bukowski ment Co. Helper Family Lisa Casper Niagara Tying Service, Inc. $800 & over Lena Croce PCB Piezotronics, Inc. Fingeret Family John Curr Sisters of Charity Hospital / Swygert Family Balloon Release at the Walk to Sharon Goldyn Buffalo Mercy Hospital Remember—Photo courtesy of Melissa Guido UB Pediatric Associates - Divi- $600 & over the Buffalo News Lisa Jerebko sion of Neonatology Backstrom Family Michelle Morgan $400 & over Thank you to the following for Sarah Noonan Heart Sponsors Buckner Family their donations of time and tal- Jennifer Opoka Curbell, Inc. Lacki Family ent with the following: Laura Reyda Jonathan C. Reynhout, M.D.P.C. Wilder Family Janeen Wilder Rich Products Corporation Piorkowski Family Programs Covers printed Lisa Wolff Evans Bank courtesy of Kevin Knab Graphics Debi Zmuda $300 & Over Caring Arms Support Circle, MFS Signs printed courtesy of Hospital Jerebko Family Hale Expo Services, Inc. UB MD Department of Pediatrics Smith Family Guthrie Family Sound System & Music courtesy Supporting Sponsors Marchese Family of Tim & Beth Mott, Abby Unger DJ Tim Mott Mis Family & Billy Elson Bukowski Family ENSURE-A-SEAL Flowers courtesy of Elaine’s The Notable Corporation $200.00 & over Flower Shoppe Uniland Development Company Browne Family Raffle package courtesy of Orlowski-Pietszak Funeral Home Brown Family Audio Bliss Entertainment—Billy Elaine's Flower Shoppe Bigaj Family Elson Zorn Family And once again, to: Manfredo Family Drink/Ice courtesy of Frontier Catering for all of the Croce Family J&D Ice, Ohlson’s Bakery & Ca- wonderful food for this year's Barber Family fé, Wendy’s picnic $150.00 & over Popcorn Machine courtesy of Bouncing on Air, Alison & Terri Senator & Mrs. Kennedy speaking Bockhahn Family at the 19th Annual Walk to Remem- Wagner Family Courtney ber noting the signing of the Still Opoka Family Kids’ Zone Prizes courtesy of Birth Bill into Law Allen Family Dollar Galaxy, Fran & Thomas Reeson Family Kane $100.00 & over Kids’ Zone Face Painting Broderick Family Charles Both Curr Family Glass butterfly ornaments Schrlau Family courtesy of Rhonda & Brad Kilner Family WNYPBN Board President, Dr. Howard, Dianne Pierce Bill Zorn, Bereavement Nurses, Fahey Family Lisa Wolff and Fran Kane carried Peters Family Photography courtesy of Jeffery the Banner to lead the memorial Jordan Family Noto Walk Paolini Family Colorado Spruce Trees courtesy Burtis Family of Debi Zmuda Kennedy Family Page 6 Volume 8, Issue 4 Forget-YOU-Nots

In Loving Memory Of...

Michael Anthony Anderson April 5, 2005 Brandon Formaniak October 13, 2010 Always, always in our hearts! Love, Nana & Papa I hope you had a good birthday with all your angel baby friends in We love you always! Love, Mommy, Daddy & Mia heaven. Did you get the balloons? Did you hear your sister and your Parents: Mike & Kelly Anderson cousin sing to you? We miss you and love you so much Brandon. It has been a long year without you and not a day goes by that I don't Blake Anthony Bauer September 12-14, 2007 think about you. Not a week without at least a few tears. Please Mommy, Daddy, Ashley & Tucker love and miss you with all our watch over and protect us as only you can. We love you so much, hearts. Happy Belated Birthday and enjoy the holidays. You are Brandon. Happy 1st Birthday. Love Mommy Daddy and Brooke always in our hearts. Parents: Tracy Thuman & Doug Formaniak We love and miss you very much. You’ll always have a place in our hearts: gone but never forgotten. Love, Auntie, Tissa & Sean Brennan Mark Hayes April 15th, 2006 Parents: Yvonne & Robert Bauer How I miss you more and more each day. Never stop sending me signs and please keep watching over us! Isabella Blevins August 8, 2008 Parents: Wayne and Laurie Hayes Mommy, Daddy, Abby & Lizzie love and miss you every day! Parents: John Blevins & Kim Ruda Brooke Marie Helper December 7, 2010 Happy 1st Birthday Sweetie! Not a day, hour, minute, or second go Gavin Joseph Buckner September 15, 2009 by where we don't think of you. Enjoy your birthday with all of your I love you, baby brother! Love, your big brother, Zachary relatives in heaven. We miss you, and love you so much. With our We miss and love you so much baby boy. Hope you are having fun never-ending love, Daddy, Mommy, & Ella in heaven! Love you!!! Love Mommy and Daddy Parents: Patrick & Lauren Helper Parents: Amy & Ryan Buckner Caleb James Hiltz July 29, 2011 – Sept 21, 2011 Alyssa Suzanne Burgess September 18, 2010 Loved with a love beyond telling; missed with a grief beyond tears. We love and miss you every day!! Love, Mommy, Daddy and big Mommy & Daddy love you with all their hearts! Fly with the angels! brother, Dominic xoxo Parents: Jamie & Dan Hiltz Parents: Michele & Jeremy Burgess John Paul Jerebko November 18, 1999 Riley James Croce March 8, 2010 You will always be remembered Gabriella Irene Croce August 3, 2010 Parents: Peter & Lisa Jerebko Praying we keep your memory alive and well. Guide us, remind us, send us the strength and hope we need. We love you always. Marrina Kim August 3-4, 2005 Parents: Dan & Lena Croce Ella Grace Kim June 8, 2007 Wishing you were with us… always! Love, Mommy, Daddy & Trent Grace Curr November 2, 2004 Parents: Mark & Dawn Kim Jack Matthew Curr October 6, 2005 I like to bring you both flowers, the angels, and the bunnies and Mark Ronald Lillie April 12 - May 15, 2010 pumpkins. I love you. We will visit soon. Love, Hannah (little sis- Our baby boy, your short time with us has changed our lives forev- ter, age 4) er. Not a day goes by we don't think of you, and we hold you in our Parents: Noreen & John Curr hearts forever. We hope you have many angel friends in heaven. We love you forever, Anthony Donalson Jr. March 22, 2011 Mommy, Daddy and your baby brother Brayden Although you are not here, we don’t go a day without thinking about Parents: Ronald & Jessica Lillie you. Keep watching down on us. We love and miss you! Love, Mommy and Grandma Jessica Marzec May 15-20, 1983 Parent: Brittany Baum Thank you for coming into our life and letting me be your mom. Parent: Jacquelyne Marzec Kaitlyn Andrea Gilmore April 23, 2004 To my dearest Kaitlyn, you are in my heart & on my mind every day. Kemayah Lorrain Melvin-Bryant I am so proud to be your mommy! You were so strong for the short March 24, 2011 – April 30, 2011 time we had together. I miss you and long for the day we meet She was and is a very special baby that we miss so much… but again. I love you and miss you. Love, Mommy were blessed to get for 37 days. Parents: Renee Messecar & Tom Gilmore Parents: Breonna Littleton & Kevin Melvin Forget-Me-Not Page 7 Forget-YOU-Nots In Loving Memory Of...

Parents: Phillip & Christine Scott Ja-Lissa Rajahanae Moore April 3, 2011 Baby MayKayla August 5-13, 2009 We’ll forget you never, the child we had but never had… and yet You are forever loved and will always be remembered. we’ll have forever. Parent: Lisa Victoria Moore Robert Michael Sullivan October 20, 2004 Happy Heavenly Birthday! Of course we were at the cemetery with Andrew Thomas Paolini September 8-15, 2003 your brothers eating Halloween cupcakes and Wegman’s Subs! We Always in our Hearts love you! Love, Mommy, Daddy, Izik & Raymond Parents: Charlie & Becky Paolini Parents: James & Tamara Sullivan

Amelia Grayce Peters April 2, 2010 Kayleigh Renée Swain January 30, 2010 As time goes by, we miss you more and more! Send us your sun- Hi Kayleigh girl! We just finished the Walk the other day! We love shine and rainbows always! Love, Mommy, Daddy and big brother you, miss you and know you are always looking out for us. Love you Merek to the moon and back! -Mommy, Daddy & Dani Parents: Mark & Tammy Peters Parents: Tymon & Katie Swain

Thomas Joseph Phillips July 11, 2007 Gianna Santina Tulumello May 3, 2008 You are missed a lot and are in everyone’s hearts! With a lot of Parents: Sal and Jennifer Tulumello love, Grandma & Grandpa Starks Mommy, Daddy & Joseph love and miss you so very much! We Ariel Withey November 22, 2005 think about you every day! Adam Withey June 9, 2008 Parents: April & Terry Phillips Addison Withey October 24, 2008 Lillian Alese (Allgrim) Pohl September 14th 2004 It has been said that God will use a tragedy and turn it around for good. Saying goodbye to you has prepared my heart to help other This year you would be 7. Not a day has gone by that you are not in families. Thank you my babies. You were wonderfully made! my thoughts: you’re in my heart and are part of me. I love you forev- Parents: Tara & Chris Withey er and always and miss you so much. Mommy

Parents: Shannon and Russell Allgrim

Amelia Temperance Quirk-Emich April 15, 2010 I know your beautiful light is shining down on me every day. I love you and miss you! Love, Mommy I miss you baby. You haven't shown me that you're around in a very long time. Maybe you've moved on, maybe you're still watching over mommy and daddy. Either way, we still love you with all our hearts. You know what happened. I hope you are proud of me and look after your mother. She needs all the help she can get. I'll see you soon! Love, Daddy Parents: Heather Quirk & Victor Emich

Isaiah Ray April 27, 2002 Nathan Ray September 22, 2003 We all love and miss you so much! Parents: Cynthia & David Ray

Emma Marie Richardson April 29, 2011

My baby girl there is not a day, an hour, or a minute that goes by that daddy and I don't think about you. We love and miss you more Interested in Submitting a Memorial? than words can say. Love always mommy and daddy. Please email your baby’s Forget-YOU-Not to: Parents: Eric & Amanda Richardson [email protected] Submissions are due by the 15th of the month Jacob Wesley Scott May 27, 2000 prior to the issue month. We love you and think of you every day! Family members and friends are also encouraged to submit: Page 8 Volume 8, Issue 4 Poetr y Our Love in the Written Word

Garden of Stone They Say There is a Reason By: Michael Kaner By: Author Unknown

He wiped away the snow They say there is a reason, and laid down a single rose. They say that time will heal, Thinking of what might have been, But neither time nor reason, and pain only the bereaved knows. Will change the way I feel, For no one knows the heartache, Another tear falls in a garden of stone..... That lies behind our smiles, No one knows how many times, He could have been president, We have broken down and cried, a ballplayer or won a Nobel prize. We want to tell you something, But it'll never come to be, So there won't be any doubt, and we'll never look into his eyes. You're so wonderful to think of, But so hard to be without. They said it was routine, Don't worry, we do it every day. But something went oh so wrong, now they don't know what to say.

Another tear falls in a garden of stone..... Watery Eyes By: Tracy Thuman We watched the tubes and wires, and they said that he was gone. I see the world through watery eyes. A life snuffed out too early, I sit and hold my daughter while she cries never to see another dawn. She tells me that she misses her brother All I can say is "so do I" Another tear falls in the garden of stone. I see the world through watery eyes Another day passes I sit and watch some children play and they're all alone. Their mothers are all happy and smiling To them it is just another sunny day The world gets older but he's still two. I see the world through watery eyes And we dream of things, I sit at my desk and try to work he'll never do. It is hard to see the computer So I wipe my eyes and take a second look He'll never ride a two wheeler, Or take a bus to school. I see the world through watery eyes All we have are our memories, I notice the looks that people give me we've lost our precious jewel. I wonder why they think I am so sad Do they have any idea that it is grief that haunts me? Never play in little league never steal a first kiss, I see the world through watery eyes We think of all those things I listen to my friends discuss their issues he's going to miss. They seem so silly when compared to grief Will someone please pass me another tissue? Never go to college, never walk down the aisle, I see the world though watery eyes Never know the joys of parenthood. I sit and stare at his gravestone we miss him all the while. I tell him stories and sing him songs I am not embarrassed because, again, Another tear falls in the garden of stone. I am here alone

Forget-Me-Not Page 9

T HOUGHTS A BOUT T HE W ALK TO R EMEMBER ... Hi, The Walk to Remember was my 11th year Our lives will never be the same: the sad- My name is Jamie Hiltz, I am the bereaved attending. Each year, I see more and more ness will always be there. Sometimes it will mother of Caleb James Hiltz ( 7/29/2011 - signs for our beautiful angels. It breaks my hit you when you least expect it. We do 9/21/2011 ). This was my first Walk to heart to see parents in so much grief. It’s so move on, but we will never forget. Remember after losing my son and I loved sad. I wish I could comfort all of them. it. I thought that the service was sad but I am so grateful for all those who helped to moving, and that there were so many op- Each year, I cry because the day is one to organize the Walk. It’s one of the few days tions for things for us to do/have to remem- help remember my daughter, and I so wish I that I can celebrate my daughter, and every- ber our son. We purchased a T-shirt, we had her with me. For me, I see all the fami- one there understands how you feel. For purchased a butterfly ornament for our lies that go together, and I usually go alone. those of you that need a little hug right now, Christmas tree this year, some awareness It’s harder for my husband, I think because reach out to this wonderful group. It will help magnets for the car and home, a piece of men want to make it all better for us. He you, I promise... Blue Spruce tree to plant in Caleb's memory would go if I really wanted, but I choose to and we most enjoyed the Walk itself: know- let him be. My daughter is 15 and she would In memory of CASSANDRA ELIZABETH ing that we were not alone in our immense walk but I don’t want her to see all the sad- GOLDYN Born Still 9/13/99, and my Goldyn and new grief. We enjoyed decorating ness. This year again she helped in the kids babies 97,98,2001. Mommy loves you all... Caleb's sign, and it helped to give us some area, which made me so proud. The loving XOXO closure on such a beautiful day. support I get from my friends (and you know Sharon Goldyn who you all are. They are a big part of the This is a club that no one wants to belong WALK!) helps me through it. I have cried on to, but if you have to, I am glad that we have their shoulders when I really needed to. services like this. The Walk to Remember was a beautiful day that my husband and I This year, I somehow found an inner peace. hope to repeat on a yearly basis, and I hope I looked at the Yellow balloon I sent to my to someday be blessed enough to have chil- daughter, and gave her a kiss! I stopped at dren to share in this special occasion. her sign, and Remembered how it felt the only time I held her. Then I slowly made my Thank you for all you do, way down the path, reading all the signs, Jamie and Dan Hiltz and sending hugs to all the angels. Parents of Caleb James

Dear Gabriella- pain-I was a horrible mom. In sum my sweet Gabby, I have been in constant pain, sad- A WARENESS A UTO For your 5th birthday, I decided that my gift ness and agony for five years. This has M AGNETS A VAILABLE to you is to let you go. What I mean my pushed those who are on this journey with sweet girl; I think it is time to let the pain of me away, and I think I haven’t been the best your death go. mom to your siblings either. When we found out that we were expecting It’s time to make a change. Please know I you, your daddy and I thought we were cra- am a proud mother of four children-one in zy. You were our third and we knew we heaven. I will continue to scream this from would be busy. Yet, we were so happy. the top of the mountains! But I will learn to Everything surrounding your short life and be happy again knowing I am a great mom death was so traumatic; we were left so to you and cannot wait to see you again alone and scared. Selfishly, over the years, I someday. Please be free and happy my have only focused on how I was feeling and sweet angel birthday girl. I love and miss th dealing with your death, not how others you so much! Happy 5 Birthday Gabriella close may be. Lynne Pirrone! Yet, as time has moved on, I have used your One last thing, take a look down this Satur- Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness life to mean something—we have made do- day. Your family will be sending your bal- Magnets can still be purchased from the nations to important functions in your hon- loons up to heaven for your birthday! WNYPBN office. The Magnets are $6.00 each and can be picked up by contacting or, we made sure you are celebrated on Love, September 10th of every year. Christine Scott at (716) 626-6363 or at Mommy [email protected] I have become active in providing support to others starting on this journey, yet the one By: Nicole Pirrone Or mail a check for $6.50 (to cover shipping thing I have kept close to me was the pain. I costs) made payable to WNYPBN and send have felt that if I allowed myself to be happy to: for more than a few moments, I was doing a WNYPBN, Inc. disservice to you. I felt like if I allowed any- 5780 Main St. one too close or anyone to tell me it was ok Williamsville, NY 14221 to keep you with me yet move beyond the Page 10 Volume 8, Issue 4 Safe Arrivals To Grant Others Hope

Twins, Aidan Christian John Crowley and brother in heaven Mark Ronald Lillie (April Shane George Wickett was born August 30, Anthony John Crowley Jr. were born July 26, 12, 2010 to May 15, 2010). Thank you, 2011 to Becky and Dan Wickett. He was 8 2010, and were 8 lbs and 7 lbs 3 oz respec- Ronald and Jessica Lillie (Parents). lbs 15 oz and 20 inches long. Big brother tively. Proud parents, Anthony and Jennifer and sister, Luke and Carly, we teach Shane Crowley along with their children, Andrew, all about their brother in heaven, Daniel Anthony Ramsey and Renee Moran are Edwin and Cameron, will always remember Philip Wickett (May 8, 2010). proud to announce the arrival of Lyliana Baby Anthony Russell Aidan Crowley. Heavyn Ramsey on July 29, 2011. She was 19.5 inches long and weighed 7 lbs 5.5 oz. Interested in Submitting Your Safe Arrival? Brayden Cole Lillie was born on June 24, The family will always remember Kaylee Please email your new baby’s information 2011 at 1:21 pm, weighing 7 lbs 13 oz and Elise Ramsey (May 16, 2003), Baby Ramsey as well as their heavenly sibling’s information to: was 19 1/2 inches long. We will always (January 2009) and Twin Ramsey Babies [email protected] Submissions are due by the 15th of the month remember and hold in our hearts his big (March 2010). prior to the issue month.

WNYPBN’ S L ENDING L IBRARY The WNYPBN qualified for a grant from the By: Sherokee Ilse Rachel's Cry, A Journey Through Grief, March of Dimes to acquire multiple copies Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, By: Richard A Dew, M.D. of various bereavement publications. Other By: Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. Sibling Grief, volumes of bereavement materials have For Better or Worse, By: Sherkee, Ilse also been donated throughout the years in By: Maribeth Wilder Doerr Silent Grief, hopes that they may help the bereaved. If Forever Our Angels, By: Clara Hinton you wish to peruse some literature, or would By: Hannah Stone Still to be Born, like to make some volumes available to your From Hurt to Healing / By: Pat Schwiebert support groups, please contact Christine Dealing with the Death of Your Baby, The Shadow of An Angel, Scott at (716) 626-6363 or via email at By: March of Dimes By: Marion Deutsche Cohen [email protected] Gone But Not Lost, The SIDS Survival Guide, By: David W. Wiersbe By: Joani Nelson Horchlet The following volumes are available from Help, Comfort, and Hope, & Robin Rice Morris the lending library at the WNYPBN office in By: Hannah Lothrop Thumpy's Story, Williamsville: I Will Not Leave You Desolate, By: Nancy Dodge By: Marha Whitmore Hickman Waiting with Gabriel, A Silent Sorrow, I'll Hold You in Heaven, By: Amy Kuebelbeck By: Ingrid Kohn & Perry-Lynn Moffitt By: Jack Hayford We were gonna have a baby, After A Loss in Pregnancy, Life Touches Life, but We had an angel instead, By: Nancy Berezin By: Lorraine Ash By: Pat Schwiebert Angels~Heaven's Messengers, Losing Emily, What Can You Do?, By: Ellyn Sanna By: Tammy Anderson By: March of Dimes Congratulations.It's an Angel, Meditations for Bereaved Parents, When A Baby Dies, By: Sandy Alemian-Goldberg By: Gilgal Publications By: Martha Jo Church, Helen Chazin, Dear Cheyenne, edited by Judy Osgood Faity Ewald By: Joanne Cacciatore~Garard Parents' Grief, When Hello means Goodbye, Empty Arms, By: Carol Parrott By: Pat Schwiebert By: Vredevelt Parting is not Goodbye, When You Want to Try Again / Empty Arms, By: Kelly Osmont & Marilyn McFarlane Thinking About Pregnancy after a loss, By: Sherokee Ilse Pregnancy after a Loss, By: March of Dimes Empty Arms, By: Carol Cirulli Lanham

The Newsletter Committee is always looking The WNYPBN is run solely on donations and Or send checks payable to WNYPBN to: for submissions - please email to: volunteer efforts. If you would like to make WNYPBN, 5780 Main St., Williamsville, NY [email protected] a donation to support the important pro- 14221. If you would like to make donations or addressed to: Dawn Both-Kim grams of the WNYPBN, you may do so via in person, you may contact Christine Scott 1 Montclaire Lane our donations website: at (716) 626-6363 or via email at Orchard Park, NY 14127 www.firstgiving.com/WNYPBN [email protected] Forget-Me-Not Page 11 Kids’ Stuff: Children are effected by perinatal loss, whether it happened before or after they are born. They must work through their grief, the same as the rest of us. We’d like to publish pictures, poems, stories, etc. that were created by your bereaved children… so that the kids can know that they, too, are not alone. If your child has drawn or written some- thing that they would like to share, please send it to: Dawn Both-Kim 1 Montclaire Lane Orchard Park, NY 14127 I will treat each piece carefully and will return it to you as soon as possible. If you have the means and can scan the work, please email it to: Hi, My name is Zack Buckner and this is a picture for my baby brother Gavin. This is our [email protected] family. All of us. I love him so much! Love, Zack Area Support Groups Caring Arms Support Circle Heart to Heart SIDS Family Support Group Stillbirth and Early Infant Death Early loss, miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy SIDS and Infant Death When: 2nd Tuesday @ 7:00 PM Call for further details Joan A. Male Family Ministry Center, Rm #4 When: 1st Thursday @ 5:30 PM Support Center 100 Gregory Ct, Williamsville M. Steven Piver Center, 60 Dingens St., Buffalo Next to Millard Fillmore Suburban Suite 100 Contact: Contact: Sisters Hospital, Seton Bldg Jan Walkden, (716) 822-0919 Denise Hudden, RN, 716-568-6653 2157 Main St., Buffalo Contact: Sibling Grief Circle of Hope Fran Kane (716) 862-1678 Young Sibling (5-16 years) Death and/or Serious Illness—Niagara Hospice Adult Sibling (17 years & older) 4675 Sunset Dr., Lockport or Hopeful Hearts / When: 2nd Wednesday @ 6:30 PM 2186 Liberty Dr., Niagara Falls Subsequent Pregnancy First Trinity Lutheran Church Contact: Support for pregnancy after a perinatal loss 1570 Niagara Falls Blvd, Outreach Dept. 716-280-0777 Call for further details Tonawanda When: 2nd Thursday @ 5:30 PM Contact: Footprints on the Heart M. Steven Piver Center, Lesley Jordans, (716) 878-7773 Stillbirth and early infant death Suite 100 Call for further details Sisters Hospital, Seton Bldg “Tiniest Angels” Parent When: 4th Wednesday @ 7 PM 2157 Main St., Buffalo Bereavement Support Life Transitions Center Contact: Miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth and 150 Bennett Road Fran Kane (716) 862-1678 early infant death Cheektowaga When: 2nd Wednesday @ 7 PM Contact: 5780 Main St, Williamsville Fran Kane (716) 862-1678 (Corner of Main and Evans) FREE—Please call to register Contact: Christine Scott, (716) 626-6363

Parent Telephone Support Team (PTST) Speak with another bereaved parent who has endured a similar perinatal loss Contact: Lisa Jerebko, (716) 474-1024 This newsletter is FREE for one year (4 issues) after your loss. If you would like to continue your sub- Western New York scription, please send $5 to help defray mailing costs for an additional year. You may also find this Perinatal newsletter for no cost whatsoever on-line at www.wnypbn.org . Make checks payable to WNYPBN, Bereavement Inc. and send the completed form below to WNYPBN—Newsletter, 5780 Main St., Williamsville, NY Network, Inc. 14221. If you are receiving duplicate mailings, please let us know. 5780 Main St. Williamsville, NY Name: ______14221 Address: ______

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Baby’s Name & Honored Date(s):

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2012 Feb — 2011 Nov 4 Issue 8, Volume

Not - Me - Forget