R ELATIONSHIP RESEARCH NEWS

OFFICIAL NEWS JOURNAL OF THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH ______FALL 2003 VOL 2, NO. 1 ______

organizing a unique, high quality event that was very PRESIDENT’S COLUMN affordable. Congratulations are also in order for Scott Christopher, who hosted a workshop at Arizona State University for students and new professionals. Attendees gave high marks to the event and confirmed the value of facilitating the William R. Cupach professional development of new scholars. Arrangements are well underway for our bi- annual conference to be held in Madison, Wisconsin, July 22-25, 2004. Local hosts Linda Roberts and Denise Solomon, along with program planner Scott On behalf of the IARR Board of Directors, Christopher, are planning a meeting that promises to greeting and salutations! Working out of our virtual quench our scholarly and social thirsts. Plan now to office, we have been busy the last few months with share your best scholarly work and to confabulate important initiatives. One of the most significant with friends and colleagues in Madison. Be sure to developments is the automation of our membership check our web site (www.iarr.org) for conference services. Members will now enjoy the convenience information updates. of renewing memberships, registering for IARR You’ll notice elsewhere in this newsletter conferences, and updating their personal profile on- that the Future Conferences Committee is now line via a secure web site. Thanks to Chris Agnew, taking proposals to host mini-conferences or our Secretary-Treasurer, for thoroughly investigating workshops in 2005 and the biannual conference in the details and making this upgrade in membership 2006. As most of you know, we had tentative plans services a reality! to hold the 2006 conference in Bruges, Belgium. Earlier in the Spring, the Board voted to Unfortunately, despite several months of good-faith invest half of the funds “inherited” from our parent negotiations, we could not forge an acceptable associations to establish a permanent endowment, agreement with the local host. If you have an and place the remainder of the inherited funds into interest in hosting the 2006 conference, please an emergency reserve. These measures help ensure contact Terri Orbuch for more information. If you the long term financial stability of IARR. As the have colleagues you think would make good endowment grows, it eventually will help expand conference hosts, please urge them to submit a services for our members. More information about proposal. The Future Conferences Committee is the endowment will be forthcoming from the especially keen on receiving proposals for a 2006 Finance Committee in the future. site outside of North America. The Board recently approved the nomination I want to express my deep gratitude to all the of Paul Mongeau of Arizona State University as wonderful folks I have the pleasure of working with Editor-Elect for the Journal of Social and Personal on IARR matters. Board members, committee chairs Relationships. Anita Vangelisti and the Publications and committee members are working diligently to Committee worked very hard to attract high quality promote IARRs growth. As an IARR member, you applicants for the position. We wish Paul well, and can help us grow, too. If you know of any we are confident that he will continue the tradition of colleagues who share our interest in the study of excellence Mark Fine maintained. relationships and who are not currently members of This past June, IARR sponsored two highly IARR (perhaps a colleague in a department or successful events. More than 100 participants discipline different from yours), please encourage attended the Compassionate Love Conference in them to join! Bloomington/Normal, Illinois, which was co- sponsored and financially supported by the Fetzer Institute. Congratulations to Sue Sprecher for INSIDE THIS ISSUE OF RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH NEWS

Presidents’ Column PR REPORT: By Susan Sprecher...... 20 by William R. Cupach ...... 1

From the Editors’ Desk JSPR REPORT: By Mark Fine...... 21 by Kory Floyd and Kathy Carnelley...... 3 New JSPR Editor, Paul Mongeau ...... 21 FEATURE ARTICLES Remembering Harold H. Kelley (1921 – 2003) CONTENTS OF UPCOMING JOURNALS: Edited by Shelly Gable ...... 3 Personal Relationships...... 21

Compassion and Love in Relationships – Can They Journal of Social and Personal Relationships...... 22 Coexist? Moderated by Sharon Shacham-Dupont...... 13 ANNOUNCEMENTS ...... 23

STUDENT & NEW PROFESSIONALS COLUMN: MEMBER NEWS & UPDATES ...... 23

Looking Back, Moving On NEW MEMBERS ...... 25 By Joao Moreira ...... 15 CALL FOR PAPERS ...... 27 LIGHTER SIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS: Reading between the Lines CONFERENCE ANNOUNCEMENTS ...... 27 By David Kenny ...... 16 Special Topics Conference Success...... 27 I am a Human Anagram Future Conferences Committee...... 27 By William Ickes ...... 17 Invitation for 2006 Proposals...... 28 Invitation for 2005 Proposals...... 29 Family and Poverty Conference...... 30 NET NEWS: By Lisa Baker ...... 17 IARR Conference, Madison, WI...... 30

IARR Membership Services Moves On-Line LIST OF IARR BOARD OF DIRECTORS & By Christopher R. Agnew ...... 18 COMMITTEE CHAIRS...... 34

RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH NEWS

Editors Katherine Carnelley Kory Floyd University of Southampton Arizona State University

Associate Editors Michele Acker Shelly Gable Otterbein College University of California, Los Angeles

Diane Holmberg Ofra Mayseless Acadia University University of Haifa

Relationship Research News is published twice a year, once in September and once in April. Contributions are very welcome and will be published as space permits. Announcements, letters to the editors, cartoons/humor, teaching tips, and other information relevant to IARR members are all appropriate. If you would like to contribute a feature article or personal commentary, please submit a brief (one paragraph) description to the editors first (please do not send manuscripts). Submit all materials to Susan Boon, Department of , University of Calgary, 2500 University Dr. NW, Calgary, AB T2N 1N4, Canada; [email protected]. The deadline for final copy is September 1 for the Fall issue and April 1 for the Spring issue. (Inquiries regarding Feature Articles are welcome at any time.)

2 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

the past two years has been a delight, both personally and professionally, and we wish to offer our thanks to FROM THE EDITORS’ our associate editors, the IARR board of directors, and to Blackwell publishers for their much-appreciated DESK assistance. We are leaving RRN in the exceedingly capable hands of incoming editor Susan Boon, and we wish her every success in her endeavors.

by Kory Floyd and Kathy Carnelley Arizona State Univ. Univ. of Southampton

FEATURE ARTICLES We are pleased to bring you this expanded edition of Relationship Research News. Plans are underway for the 2004 conference, to be held in Madison, Wisconsin next July. In this issue, you will find a Remembering Harold H. Kelley number of fun facts about Madison and the basic (1921-2003) details of the conference. Registration and housing information will appear on the IARR website in the near future. We certainly hope to see you all next summer!

In January of this year, the field of personal relationships was saddened to lose one of its truly pioneering members, Hal Kelley. Whether we knew him personally or not, each of us benefits from the contributions he made during his long and distinguished career. For this issue of RRN, we asked Shelly Gable to compile thoughts and comments from many of the researchers who knew him best, and we are pleased to present these, in unedited form, in remembrance of our friend and colleague. On January 29th, 2003, the scientific Members will find many other items of interest in this community and in particular the field of close edition of RRN. Sharon Shacham-Dupont and Sue relationships suffered a deep loss when Sprecher both offer reports on IARR’s first special Harold Harding Kelley, Professor Emeritus topics conference, which took place in May and June of Psychology at UCLA, died of cancer at his of this year and focused on compassion and love in home in Malibu, California. Hal is survived relationships. We are also pleased to report that, by his beloved wife and dear companion for through the efforts of our secretary-treasurer, 61 years, Dorothy, his son, Sten Kelley, his Christopher Agnew, IARR membership services are daughters Ann Kelley and Megan Emory, and now available online. Members can pay dues and five grandchildren. conference registration fees, have access to membership directories, and update their own contact information, all from the IARR website! Hal Kelley’s scholarly career spanned nearly six This issue of Relationship Research News is a very decades. He made numerous contributions to the field special one for us, as it is the last that we (Kathy and including the study of the role of reference groups in Kory) will edit together. As most of our members communication and attitude change, the founding know, this newsletter had its genesis in the merger of (with John W. Thibaut) of Interdependence Theory, INPR and ISSPR, for whom Kory and Kathy were the initial and integrative work on what was to become respective newsletter editors. Working on RRN for known as Theory, and pioneering on the

3 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 phenomena of close relationships. His many even when it challenged his, and resisted cognitive contributions to science have been recently chronicled closure to a fault. Our discussions were always in a piece by Paul Van Lange in the European leavened by his fine sense of humor and warmth. Hal Bulletin of (2003, 15[1], pp. 41-47) had a genuine interest in others and was and in a forthcoming piece in the American extraordinarily well read and current in his opinions. Psychologist. The current piece was intended to be a Our “Atlas group” had many a fine evening of lively more informal testimony to a scholar who not only discussions about almost any topic. He was also a had an incalculable impact on the field of close very optimistic presence: his favorite saying was relationships, but also to a man who intellectually and Heider’s metaphor of the “friendly spirits,” implying personally inspired scores of individuals. I had the that fate had treated him well. I confess that Hal and I great pleasure of meeting Hal when I came to UCLA ended each long day of work sitting on his porch in 2000, and although he retired in 1991, Hal overlooking the Pacific and taking his saying rather remained fully involved in his scholarly career until literally. the onset of the illness that claimed his life. I will always treasure the brief time that I had to know him; especially his deeply insightful and supportive Paul Van Lange, Free University, Amsterdam: feedback on intellectual ideas, our regular hallway Excerpt from In Memoriam: Harold H. Kelley, Tthe conversations on what was new in the field of close European Bulletin of Social Psychology (2003, 15[1], relationships, and his generous encouragement of my pp. 41-47). beginning career. Hal Kelley was a warm person, with a To prepare this piece, we asked some of those genuine interest in others. In addition to intellectual that knew Hal Kelley academically and personally to discussions, Hal also appreciated “less serious” comment on their remembrances of him. Below are discussions and he loved to tease, always with a kind short excepts from John Holmes, Paul Van Lange, and warm smile on his face. I have very fond Andrew Christensen, Norbert Kerr, Chris Agnew and memories of the many pleasant discussions we had Ximena Arriaga, and slightly more detailed pieces by with him during and after meetings of the Atlas- Ellen Berscheid, Arie Kruglanski, George Levinger, project. Every now and then Hal would tell a story and Harry Reis. It is remarkable that three terms that he thought might be of interest to some of us, but consistently arise in their separate contributions— just as often he was listening, smiling, and enjoying Intellectual Giant, Modesty, and Warmth. The loss of the group discussion. This style also characterized his Hal Kelley is both professional and personal. very pleasant leadership during the Atlas Project. He would be thinking and listening quietly, while ~Shelly Gable, UCLA respecting and appreciating everybody’s (Thanks to Harry Reis for providing the photos.) contributions. And he never seemed distracted by what seemed to be less relevant discussions, because he knew where we could be going with this project. John Holmes, University of Waterloo: I will miss He would perhaps only be distracted by grandiose Hal Kelley dearly. I worked closely with him in recent language. Whenever one of us used high-flying terms years, both on a collaborative effort with six authors that Hal considered unnecessary and messy, we could (An atlas of interpersonal situations) and on a almost feel him think: “That logic needs work”! theoretical volume the two of us were writing Last but definitely not least, modesty was (Interdependence theory: Situations, relationships and definitely one of Hal’s most salient qualities. In personality). He was a brilliant man, an intellectual nearly every presentation, he acknowledged the giant. His razor-sharp mind cut through fuzzy influence of John Thibaut on his thinking, and his thinking so quickly that it was sometimes intimidating contribution to the development of interdependence to be on the receiving end of his comments after theory. He also acknowledged the work of several venturing forth some idea (especially at 700 in the others, such as Ellen Berscheid, Charles McClintock, morning, after he had been tuning up his logic for two and David Messick, as having influenced his hours). He was not hesitant to tell you exactly what he theorizing with John Thibaut. More generally, his thought, a tendency that one eventually tried to interpersonal style was one of care, openness and interpret optimistically as indicating that he perhaps respect. He was alien to anything that was even respected one’s ideas enough to consider them. But he remotely related to expressions of self-importance. really listened, patiently tried to see one’s perspective 4 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Hal Kelley was an intellectual giant. He Through those many, many hours of working closely received almost every award there is in psychology with Hal and other members of the group, I got a first (including also some from other disciplines). He was hand experience of Hal’s brilliance as a thinker, his one of the few social psychologists to become elected good humor and his ability to lead a group of diverse as a member of the American Academy of Arts and minded psychologists toward a common conceptual Sciences and the National Academy of Sciences. And framework for viewing a broad and complex field. An even in the last years, at the end of a career of nearly unexpected feature of Hal was his striking modesty, six decades, he was still one of the most cited scholars so disproportionate to his abilities. He had so little to within social psychology. be modest about, yet was consistently so. For Hal Kelley was an exceptional scholar and an example, he organized our group, got the funding for exceptional person. He had the unique talent to the group, and was our intellectual leader, yet when it combine professional and personal qualities in the came to determining the authorship of the book that most natural and perfect of ways: his warmth, emerged, the group had to convince Hal to be the first generosity and modesty were as much a part of author and not just go in alphabetical order. Modesty himself as was his incredibly bright and creative and brilliance are not usually close companions, but in mind. Only rarely do we have the good fortune to Hal Kelley they merged in an appealing way. The come across people of such grandeur! book that this group published in 1983, Close Relationships, was reissued just last year, with a new introduction by Hal and Ellen Berscheid. Its staying Andrew Christensen, UCLA: From a memorial power is a tribute to Hal Kelley’s thinking and service at UCLA February 9, 2003. leadership. Soon after I joined the clinical area of the In many ways, I was sad to see this book psychology department at UCLA in the fall of 1976, a completed in the early 80s because I thought it would pleasant, middle aged social psychologist named end the exciting collaboration with Hal that I had Kelley invited me for lunch at the faculty center. We experienced. However, Hal suggested that we form a discussed a variety of topics as we got to know each close relationship group at UCLA. Hal, Anne Peplau, other. He was interested in my research interests and and I started the Close Relationship Interest Group, or plans and discussed them with me. To reciprocate, I CRIG, a group of faculty and graduate students asked him what his research and scholarly interests interested in close relationship research. This group were. He seemed a little taken aback by my question has met 2-3 times a quarter for almost 20 years. but began to gamely discuss his work. As he talked, I There have been such wonderful presentations and suddenly realized that this person in front of me was discussions on these Friday afternoons over drinks the Kelley of interdependence theory, which I had and refreshments. This group forms a kind of living often cited and which was a foundation of the legacy to Hal’s leadership and inspiration. behavioral approach with which I identified. I made a Last fall, after it was common knowledge that valiant, albeit belated, attempt at recovery from my Hal was battling cancer, he sent a memo to a number faux pas– “yes, of course, there is that work, but do of us, indicating that, due a quirk of his personality, you have any other interests?” As if the work that had he was not really comfortable with sympathy. I talked made him world famous was not enough. I left our to him on the phone afterwards and told him I was meeting that day feeling as if, in my short time at going to make every effort to avoid sympathy of any UCLA, I had already deeply offended one of its kind. Then we talked about his treatment and what he leading intellectuals. was going through. And at one point he said, “Andy, But I clearly didn’t know Hal Kelley. He was this is beginning to sound suspiciously like not one to be put off by an unintended social slight. sympathy!” And we both chuckled. He kept his I really got to know Hal Kelley in the summer humor and his perspective even as he was dealing of 1978 when he organized a group of nine social and with a fatal illness. clinical psychologists to write a book summarizing I shall always remember him and appreciate and defining the emerging field of close relationships. him, both for his brilliance and his humanity This group spent 3 weeks together at UCLA, a week together in Amherst, Massachusetts a year later, and a few days together again at UCLA another year later. Norbert Kerr, Michigan State University: We In between, Hal Kelley, Anne Peplau and I met many worked together on the Atlas project over the last times as a kind of steering committee for the group. several years and it was the most gratifying 5 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 collaboration of my career. This was partly a matter of around my mind like drops of mercury, they resist intellectual engagement--Hal loved to play with ideas bein g herded into sensible prose. I can but try. and he played fair (giving respect to others' opinions, I first met H. H. Kelley when I arrived at the listening well, graciously conceding on those [very graduate training program in rare] occasions when someone else had a better one social psychology, funded by a national research than his). I've had a few chances to hang around fellowship that permitted me to go to any school that brilliant folks, but never one who could make you feel would have me. Duke, my first choice for so safe in active intellectual exchange. But it was professional reasons, had made it clear that their more than that. Hal was a wonderful person to be graduate program was for "men only" so I went to around. He was funny, unaffected, curious, gracious, Minnesota, my second choice, mostly for personal and (as a most central trait) warm. He was as good an reasons. My first interaction with Professor Kelley example of a true gentleman as we're ever likely to was not auspicious. In fact, it was so inauspicious know. that I was not to see him again for many years.

When I appeared at his office door, he did not seem at all happy to see me. He began the interview Chris Agnew and Ximena Arriaga, Purdue University: “Living legend” aptly captures the high by mentioning a female graduate student who recently regard that we and our fellow graduate students at the had "run off" and gotten married. Getting the drift, I University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill had for asked him directly if I would be discriminated against Hal Kelley. The founder of UNC’s social program, in graduate school because I was a woman. Hal was John Thibaut, developed interdependence theory with an honest man. He replied, with some discomfort, Hal in the late 1950s, and the theory has served as the "Yes." "Surely not with respect to grades?", I asked. theoretical cornerstone of the program since then. So Again, "Yes" (this was before studies showed that an when we had the opportunity to lunch with Hal at article signed by "Joe" Smith was more highly UCLA a few years ago, we jumped at the chance. regarded than one signed by "Joan" Smith and before Expecting a brief visit, our lunch lasted over three I found out for myself the truth of his candid answer). hours! We discussed Hal’s recent work with John The interview went downhill from there. Holmes to extend interdependence theory. He kindly Professor Kelley asked me if I had read his book with and patiently answered our most vexing questions John Thibaut that had come out the previous year. regarding the theory. All in all, it was among the "Yes," I replied. Silence. Then the dreaded question richest intellectual discussions we have ever had. We "What did you think of it?" I was an honest woman. were mentally exhausted by the end of our visit, but, In the course of my reply I mentioned the flaws I had consistent with his legend status, it seemed that Hal seen in what has become known as Interdependence was just getting going! Undoubtedly, he was on a Theory, dwelling unnecessarily long on my opinion roll, too, when he wrote “The situational origins of that the theory was too "static"—that it didn't capture human tendencies: A further reason for the formal the flow of interaction. (For the difficulties still analysis of structure,” a 1983 article that may not be involved in capturing the flow of interaction almost understood by all but speaks to us all, as it does half a century later, one need only read—or attempt to nothing short of bringing together the best ideas of read—The mathematics of marriage: Dynamic personality research and relationship research into a nonlinear models [2002] recently published by John grand theory about the social bases of personality. In Gottman and his colleagues.) I was, of course, too short, Hal Kelley transformed the way we think about ignorant to appreciate what Thibaut and Kelley had social interaction. The loss to is accomplished, particularly in comparison to what immense. other psychologists were doing at the time. (Hullian theory was still influential and Skinner's behaviorism was riding high whereas social psychology, many Remembrance of Hal Kelley psychologists believed, was "flaky"—one of Hal's Ellen Berscheid words—and belonged anywhere but in the discipline University of Minnesota of psychology.) My critique was not appreciated. Professor I cannot yet put a fence around my thoughts, Kelley ended the interview quickly by remarking that feelings, and memories of Hal Kelley. Skittering as I began my graduate studies at Minnesota, it would

6 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 be useful if I forgot everything I had previously chapter on interpersonal attraction for the 1985 learned about psychology. I went out the door Handbook of Social Psychology. If one assumes that thinking that would be an easy task because there was Thibaut and Kelley's (1959) book was in preparation precious little for me to forget. When classes started (in thought at least) in the mid-1950s, it can be seen a week later, I simply did not show up. Family that it has taken half a century—and Hal's dogged matters, including the fragile state of my new perseverance—for its ideas to achieve their current marriage and a death in the family, had convinced me influence. Hal's email sign-off was "Take it easy" but that I could not successfully complete graduate taking it easy was something Hal never did. studies in addition. The magnitude of any contemporary Almost two decades elapsed before I saw Hal psychologist's contribution to the discipline cannot be Kelley again. John Harvey had invited both of us to accurately estimated by those of us still standing deep speak at a conference he had organized at Vanderbilt in the trees and underbrush of psychology. The University in Nashville. As it happened, some of us perspective afforded by time springs surprises, often were more interested in spending the evening at the whittling a contribution down to a dusty footnote. Grand Ole Oprey than further discussing the That said, I will venture the prediction that Hal principles of social exchange. John magically secured Kelley's influence on psychology today is only a a few scarce tickets and the luck of the draw put Hal fraction of what it will be a decade from now. That and me in adjacent seats, both transfixed by glorious prophesy will be better understood when John Holmes gospel music. Whether Hal remembered me from our finishes the book—capable of revolutionizing previous meeting, I do not know (and never dared psychology—that he and Hal were working on when ask) but after the performance we talked well into the Hal became ill and when the recently published An night. Subsequently, he invited me to join his project, Atlas of Interpersonal Situations (Kelley, Holmes, which culminated in Close Relationships Kerr, Reis, Rusbult, & Van Lange, 2003) reaches its (1983/2002). audience. Thus was I given a second chance to know an I was aware that Hal's professional and intellectual giant and a person of extraordinary personal influence on me was profound, as it was on character, a person whose many kindnesses and many others, but I was blindsided by the depth of my generosity one came across only by chance. reaction to his death. I had not realized that although Exquisitely sensitive to other's feelings, Hal's humility I interacted with Hal infrequently and not for very permitted him to perform the most mundane but long when I did, those moments were among the very personally costly acts to help those in need. As I happiest and most vivid of my life. write this, I see Hal's frowning face (à la the Baldwin, Carrell, & Lopez, 1990, experiment). Hal hated sentimentality, especially when directed toward Remembering Hal Kelley himself. He invariably shrugged off personal praise Arie W. Kruglanski with a quick, often sarcastic, quip and often referred University of Maryland to my "purple prose" (as in "too much purple prose" or "we need some of your purple prose here"). With the passing of Harold Kelley earlier this Nevertheless, Hal himself was capable of year the field of social psychology has lost one of its sentimentality when speaking of two people: first, greatest intellectual leaders. There was hardly a sub- and foremost, his beloved wife, Dorothy, and, second, discipline of our science where Hal Kelley (as he his revered colleague, John Thibaut. liked to be called) has not made a truly seminal contribution. His collaborative work with Carl Throughout his professional life and to the Hovland and launched a systematic very end, Hal revised, refined, and elaborated the framework for the study of attitudes and attitude original vision he and Thibaut had wrought together. change, his work on the "warm cold" variable in I was always impressed by the supreme confidence, impression formation demonstrated that Solomon persistence, and single -mindedness with which Hal Asch's theorizing about the organizing role of traits in pursued that vision and, relatedly, struck by the le ngth person perception has concrete behavioral of time it took for it to make an impact on the field. implications, his theorizing on the two functions of For example, there was little or no research on the reference group (the normative and the comparative) important concepts of Comparison Level and served on anchor point for subsequent work (by Comparison Level for Alternatives to include in my 7 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Deutsch and Gerard) on normative and informational were right to do so for these insights ended up influence. Hal Kelley has made fundamental charting the landscape of social psychology and contributions to the domains of bargaining, setting up its research agendas. negotiation and conflict resolution. He spear-headed Last but not least important, Hal Kelley cared the launching of attribution theory in the late 1960s as a great deal about people, was a devoted husband and a major field of research in social cognition that had family man, and a loyal friend that one could count on significant impact on clinical, political and through thick and thin. His friendships lasted a educational psychologies. He similarly played a major lifetime and were independent of the vicissitudes of role in laying the foundations for the field of close fame and fortune. For all these reasons Hal Kelley relations and, he developed (initially with John was not only respected and admired but also widely Thibaut, and subsequently with John Holmes, Caryl loved. He set standards of excellence and humanity to Rusbult and others) the field of interdependence which all of us should aspire. Our field is indeed theory: his greatest passion where he found his true fortunate to have had him as one of its greatest calling. Finally, he recently led a group of major leaders, and role models. interpersonal relations researchers in developing an atlas of interpersonal situations, a project which he adumbrated in a key note address to a meeting of the Harold Kelley: Warm Friend and Cool Thinker Society of Experimental Social psychology in George Levinger Washington, DC in the Fall of 1995. University of Massachusetts, Amherst These incredibly diverse, numerous and profound contributions earned Hal Kelley the well Harold Kelley’s first well-known publication deserved reputation not only as one of social was entitled “The warm-cold variable in first psychology's most creative minds ever, but also as a impressions of persons” (1950). These two polar founder of several subfields of research that evolved adjectives embody two contrasting aspects of Hal’s into thriving scientific communities complete with own personality – i.e., his wide smile and deep caring their own journals, annual meetings and learned for other people, on one hand, and his cool analytic societies. approach to scientific problems on the other. I Hal Kelley’s unprecedented accomplishments admired both aspects and am glad our lives became did not go unrecognized. In fact, he won almost all the interconnected. Here I’ll talk about both Hal’s major awards the field of psychology has to offer personal and his professional sides. including APA and SESP Distinguished Scientific I got to know Hal Kelley personally after the Contribution awards, membership in the National 1974 Amherst conference on “close relationships” I Academy of Science, the National Academy of Arts organized, at which he presented a paper on and Sciences, and on and on. attributions in close relationships (Kelley, 1977). Though pleased at these various tokens of The morning after the conference he and I met for two recognition, Hal Kelley was hardly blinded by them hours to discuss each other’s work. I relished his or filled with a sense of self importance. His great inspiring enthusiasm and penetrating thoughts as we passion was the intellectual activity itself, and far talked about our mutual ideas on modeling temporal from “resting on his laurels” he was deeply immersed changes in a pair’s relational development. I learned in writing and theorizing till the very last or nearly so. much from his approach to examining partners’ Hal Kelley was a truly modest and conflicting attributions. In turn, he was interested in unassuming man. As one example, he never thought my ideas about transitions in pair development of himself as the progenitor of attribution theory, and (Levinger & Snoek, 1972) and our computer he often referred to himself as a mere intellectual modeling of pair interaction (Huesmann & Levinger, “midwife” who helped bring it to life. The field 1976), which he later integrated into his own views of thought otherwise, however, and his considerable pair interdependence through his 1979 formulation of contributions in this domain was generally and a “transformation process” from the “given” to the appropriately acknowledged. The combination of “effective” dyadic outcome matrix. modesty, intellectual excitement, and immense scientific prestige lent Hal Kelley unusual Three years later Hal invited me to visit him inspirational powers. People were prepared to follow in Malibu for several days to work with him on a his lead and trust in his visions even before they could grant proposal for a working group to explore general fully “see the light” themselves. In retrospect, they theoretical issues in the study of close relationships. 8 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Subsequently, he obtained two NSF grants which paid (Braiker & Kelley, 1979) based on Braiker’s 1975 for five weeks of intensive discussions during three doctoral dissertation. It begins with a discussion of successive summers among the nine co-authors of the three hierarchical levels of mutual dependence – the ambitious book we later titled Close relationships levels of behaviors, unique pair norms, and personal (Kelley, Berscheid, Christensen, Harvey, Huston, dispositions – and then analyzes the differing Levinger, McClintock, Peplau, & Peterson, 1983). implications of conflict at each of these levels. It then Hal set the tone for the workshops, both personally reports two empirical studies grounded in that and professionally. On one hand, he was a analysis. The first used case histories of married wonderfully caring host during the two summers couples to examine “stages in relationship when we met at UCLA. We got well acquainted with development,” finding qualitative support for the idea each other at meals and on outings, we played games that interdependence grows both in extent and in its together, and we developed a marvelous collegial “level,” and that this affects the nature of couple atmosphere. On the other hand, he set ambitious conflicts. The second study devised novel scales for goals, posed difficult questions, and expected us to measuring love, conflict-negativity, ambivalence, and work hard each day. Particularly in our first 3-week pair maintenance; its empirical results show dramatic meeting, we exerted a mind-boggling influence on changes in differing dimensions as a couple moves each other’s conceptualizations. Hal repeatedly across progressive stages from casual dating to jogged our thinking into fruitful directions, but he was marriage. As interdependence increases, so do love also receptive to others’ new ideas. and the opportunities for conflictual interactions, even Kelley’s professional contributions during the though couples differ greatly in when, how, and how past 55 years were stellar, of course – sufficiently so much conflict occurs. to earn him a membership in the prestigious National A second noteworthy offering was his 1979 Academy of Sciences and a host of other distinctions book, Personal Relationships. It further explores two (including the Distinguished Career Contribution partners’ interdependence; it considers both their Award from our own Society). There is little doubt given level of mutual reward based on their similar that he ranks among the top three or four theorists in needs or interests and complementary abilities, and the history of social psychology. the partners’ dispositions to transform conflicts or In the 1950s, Kelley’s contributions were dissimilarities so as to maximize joint outcomes. It is primarily to the study of group behavior and problem a brilliant use of outcome matrices and solving. Nevertheless, his 1959 book with John transformations thereof to analyze two partners’ Thibaut – The social psychology of groups, one of the mutual responsiveness and their attribution of most cited books in social psychology – focused behavior to stable dispositions. primarily on interdependence in the two-person A third example of Kelley’s deep thinking group. Within the context of a dyadic payoff matrix, occurs in his chapter, “Love and Commitment,” in our it analyzed concepts such as comparison level, 1983 book. He first notes that love and commitment comparison level for alternatives, rewards and costs, often overlap, but that love essentially refers to mutual interference and facilitation, relationship “positive conditions” whereas commitment implies formation, power and dependence, norms and roles, “stable conditions” in a relationship; it’s quite tasks, as well as frustration in relationships. Those possible to have love with little commitment, or novel analyses had a major impact on research on the commitment without love. Next he distinguishes development, maintenance, and stability of personal among varying phenomena of love, including relationships – including my own work in this realm. thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and sexuality, and he Although until recently few social connects this analysis to findings from an ingenious psychologists fully embraced the implications of his study of care, need, and trust in people’s conceptions abstract interdependence theorizing, Kelley himself of love. Throughout he distinguishes carefully extended it to a number of important areas. We are among the effects of differing levels of fortunate that he devoted the second part of his career interdependence. Likewise with commitment, which to the study of close relationships, which began with he links to the durability of relationships. He his interest in attributions and people’s conflicts about concludes that commitment is based on two causal them. I can here illustrate only a few of his striking factors: (1) that the pros of continuing a relationship contributions. outweigh its cons, and (2) that, given a variability in One instance is the superb chapter on partners’ feelings toward each other, the “pro-con” “Conflict in the development of close relationships” 9 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 balance in a durable relationship must remain stably conference and its successor. Hal has been honored above zero over time and changing situations. with every major "career contribution" award in the Throughout his work, Kelley emphasized PR field and in several of its constituent disciplines, both the structures and the processes of pair as well and his two major books on the topic are canonical. as group interaction. His style was to do a systematic To Hal, relationship science was "an essential analysis of the essential components of both aspects science." He argued persuasively that the knowledge so as to arrive at basic, sometimes self-evident to be derived from relationship science was insights of lasting impact. For a final example, I think fundamental and irreplaceable to the behavioral Kelley was most responsible for the circular process sciences, a clarion call he first articulated in his model in our 1983 book on Close relationships which moving epilogue to the 1983 Kelley edited volume. pictured a causal feedback loop between Person-Other Among many ideas, in that chapter Hal pointed out interaction -- consisting of behavior, thoughts, and that personal relationships constitute the bridge feelings at the micro-level -- and broader causal between society and individuals; that is, personal determinants of individual properties, cumulative pair relationships provide the "causal interface" by which properties, and the social and physical environments societal norms, conditions, and processes are that both affect and are affected by the pair’s actions. transmitted to, and exert influence on, individuals. Those of us who attended the awards banquet Hal also believed that because influence of the 1994 International Conference on Personal within close relationships was typically of long Relationships in Groningen will remember Kelley duration, diverse, strong, and usually consistent, and addressing us from the raised pulpit of the converted because so much of human activity takes place in church while we sat at tables three meters below him. interaction with relationship partners -- family, close He reminded us that studying the essential features of friends, colleagues -- the accumulated effect of relationships requires us to focus directly on the relationships on the individual is likely to be partners’ “uniquely interpersonal” processes and substantial. He felt that over the life course, nothing “patterns of interplay” and “not be distracted by had more pervasive impact on human development biological, social, and psychological factors .... that and well-being than the close personal relationships in impinge on [or are affected by] that interplay” which a person participated. (Kelley, 1994, p. 3). His devotion to a basic science Finally -- and this says as much about the of relationships will continue to influence our field man as it does about his scholarship -- Hal felt that long into the future. satisfying personal relationships were among the best things that life offers. As he wrote in 1979: "The unavoidable consequence of human social What Hal Knew about Personal Relationships life is a realization of the essentially private and Harry T. Reis, subjective nature of our experience of the world, The University of Rochester coupled with a strong wish to break out of that privacy and establish contact with another mind. Hal Kelley knew a lot about personal Personal relationships hold out to their members relationships. In Dan Perlman's eminence analysis the possibility, though perhaps rarely realized in (ICPR, Brisbane, 2000), Hal was the second most- full, of establishing such contact." (p. 169). cited personal relationship scholar in the 1990s Perhaps perversely, for a scholar so renowned (surpassed only by Ellen Berscheid). Hal wrote on and widely cited, much of what Hal knew has yet to just about every phenomenon and process that be "discovered." By this I mean that his writings are personal relationship researchers care about: for so profound in conceptual depth and so rich in example, love, intimacy, relationship attributions, analytic detail, that the field has yet to take full conflict, conflict resolution, power, physical advantage of his insights, developing them into attractiveness, responsiveness, social support, empirical research and a widely adopted theoretical reciprocity, equity, communal caring. Some members model. Re-reading Hal invariably fosters a sort of of IARR may not know that Hal played a pivotal role déjà vu experience -- one senses how his elegant in the field's inception. His address at the 1982 ICPR concepts can create clarity out of the jumble of in Madison, WI, a conference often celebrated as the thoughts and ideas running around one's mind -- the birthplace of our discipline, spelled out the goals and particulars aren't necessarily new, but their conceptual agenda that still consume us. Hal served as the first coherence and integrative complexity are. The president of the organization that emerged from that brilliance of Hal's approach was, and is, its 10 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 comprehensiveness and elegance -- in my opinion, we non-sense. How to do this? Hal felt that the absence have no other conceptual models that approach his of clear terminology, cardinal concepts, and, Interdependence Theory in sophistication, depth, especially, detailed descriptive data were substantial breadth, and validity. And yet they resonate to impediments to progress. In fact he once told me that everyday relationship experience -- "Yes, of course" a major goal of his career was to push the field toward is frequently uttered when reading Hal. It is not that such a framework. Although we sometimes disparage his analyses are obvious, commonplace, or simple - "merely descriptive" research, Hal liked to point out minded -- if anything, the language and system of that all good naturalists begin with excruciatingly Interdependence Theory are among the most complex detailed descriptions (e.g., Darwin's painstaking that our field has to offer -- but rather that his scheme catalogs of barnacles and, later, finches). Hal once is so incisive that, when mastered, it readily clarifies asked me how much time the average American adult the seemingly random mumbo-jumbo of empirical spends with close relationship partners. I was findings, casual observations, and loose associations embarrassed to say I didn't know. that occupy our thoughts. It's all there, if only we would pay attention. Patterns of Interaction are the Core Phenomena of I'd like to try to elucidate this general notion Relationships by describing four central tenets of Hal's theorizing Hal spent a lot of time trying to answer the about close relationships. Many other principles question, "What is a relationship?" The answer he might be extrapolated from his work, but these may proposed was "a state of interaction process." By this help illustrate what Hal Kelley knew about he meant that a relationship is not something that relationships, and more importantly, the principles resides in the minds of either or both partners (i.e., that he felt ought to guide our research and theory. love); not some combination of their indiv idual properties (i.e., attitudes, age, personality traits); and The need for clear, careful description not a societally or biologically defined category (i.e., "Because the phenomena of close relationships marriage, siblings). Rather, Hal's theorizing focussed have been the subject of common thought and on influence: The extent to which each person's discussion for millennia, their scientific study is behavior affected the other's subsequent behavior permeated with popular ideas and (e.g., Figure 2.1 in Kelley et al., 1983). He liked the pseudoscientific conceptions. No close- example of a string quartet. The musicians' relationship researcher approaches a problem relationship, he argued, is not the instruments or roles without a deeply ingrained set of ideas and that they play within the group, nor the skills that they attitudes, and only with great difficulty can these contribute, nor even the music that they create in preconceptions be put in their proper place ... As concert. Rather, their relationship is the state of a consequence, scientific analysis must cut "being and playing together" -- in other words, the through a thicket of popular vocabulary, way in which each person's playing influences the experiential 'facts,' affective association and lay other's playing. Thus to study relationships one must causal theories before its work of definition and necessarily look for patterns of interplay and measurement can begin." (Kelley, 1983, pp. xiii- interaction: How one individual's behavior, thoughts, xiv) or feelings are altered by the behavior of the other. But in his remarks in Madison, in 1982, Hal Fine, you may say, but in this definition also said: several important considerations are not immediately "Realistically, much of what we learn will evident. First, Hal felt that analyses that focus amount to refinements and systemizations of exclusively on these "patterns of interaction" are popular knowledge, rather than revelations or incomplete; researchers must also examine the discoveries. We must learn to explain our immediate antecedents and immediate consequences enterprise in realistic terms and to avoid feeling of interactions. Antecedents are the objective inadequate about lack of "discoveries" and properties of the interdependent situation in which communicating to the public only the odd and the partners find themselves (more about this later); social sensational." norms; and properties of the individuals -- their Like Heider, Hal perceived great wisdom in personalities, abilities, habits, personal preferences, common sense, not necessarily on its surface but and especially, their orientations toward each other. rather in the concepts that it embodies. He felt it Consequences refer to the fruits of their interaction: imperative to distinguish between common sense and affects (love, hatred), attributions, or tangible 11 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 products (a well-functioning household or a well- affords. In his words, this is "what the individual written collaborative book). makes of that situation." This process is termed Second, nothing made Hal more queasy than "transformation of motivation" and Hal delighted in work that conflated these constructs. For example, he finding examples in everyday language: e.g., "she's felt that terms like "marriage" and "coworkers" were making a mountain out of a molehill" and "you think uninformative since they are silent about the patterns you're so tough; wanna make sumpin' of it?" of interaction that take place. He was equally This is not an epistemological subtlety. uncomfortable with definitions that fail to distinguish Readers interested in learning more about this concept the preexisting situation from the ensuing interaction will appreciate Hal's thoughtful elaboration in the process; for example, "she is dependent upon him," recent "Atlas of Interpersonal Situations" (Kelley et which conflates the objective characteristics of a al., 2003). Hal felt deeply that only by explicitly situation in which one person has relatively greater distinguishing the objective features of the situation power over outcomes with the behaviors that the from subjective reality can we hope to understand partners enact, given that the situation is power- interaction process and its consequences. Hal was an asymmetric. Another example: To Hal's way of iconoclast not merely in believing that objective thinking, the characterization "he loves her" tells us reality and subjective construal could be distinguished little because it describes the outcome of a complex but that their interplay was the essential phenomenon pattern of interaction, not the situation and behaviors of interest. that engendered that affect. Attributions are Inferences about a Partner's Objective reality versus social construction Responsiveness A hot issue in contemporary relationships In graduate school, when I first became acquainted research concerns the extent to which relationships with Hal's work, I thought that the Kelley of "Kelley's are influenced by "actual, objective properties" of cube" was someone other than the Kelley of "Thibaut and interaction or whether influence is based largely on Kelley." Although both models utilized symmetric perceptions of a partner's behavior. This issue has polygons as rhetorical devices, the two sets of concepts been played out in diverse venues; for example, in seemed too different to have been the brainchild of a single contrasts between studies of observer-coded individual. They certainly did not seem conceptually videotapes and those that rely on self-reported linked. (motivated) construals. Given the currency of this Now I know better. Early on, Hal recognized a distinction, it is enlightening to learn that Hal posed it fundamental human dilemma: Although we are vitally explicitly in 1979: concerned with what our interaction partners might be "Are we to take the participants' assumptions ... thinking, especially about ourselves, because we have no as reflecting merely a subjective reality or 'story' direct access to the mental states of others, we must draw that they typically develop about their inferences from their actions (e.g., overt behavior, self- relationships but that has little to do with the hard justificatory statements, and nonverbal expressions of realities of their interaction? Or are we to take affect). When these inferences pertain to the cause of a them as reflecting the real, underlying structure partner's behavior, they are called attributions and they are of these relationships and therefore indicative of a central and significant source of feelings and beliefs how we should conceptualize it?" (1979, p. 7-8). about a relationship. Consider one of Hal's favorite Over the years, on this issue Hal found examples: Which movie shall Eamon and Kyoko see on himself more and more at odds with the social- Saturday night? Suppose that Kyoko wants to see psychological mainstream. Social psychology defines "Terminator 3;" Eamon, who prefers "Winged Migration," itself as studying the impact of situations, which by yields to her preference. Kyoko's inference that Eamon prevailing practice is defined according to the conceded because he wanted her to be happy is likely to individual's perception. This state of affairs annoyed spawn considerable affection; in contrast, the attribution Hal because it clouded what he felt was the that "T3" was less costly, or that Eamon wanted to avoid a conceptual linchpin of Interdependence Theory: That fight, or that it was her "turn" to pick a movie, the analysis of behavior must begin with careful considerably less so. Hal's brilliance was in realizing that description of the objective properties of the situation the attribution process is a key relationship process and in -- that is, its properties of outcome interdependence -- providing the conceptual tools for examining it. and then carefully show how the actors' subjective construals derive from the possibilities the situation 12 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Concluding Remarks the conference attendees thought it would be useful Hal Kelley was the kind of scholar who comes to try and find commonalities among relationship along all too rarely. Although I was already in mid-career researchers’ perceptions of compassionate love. I when I came to know him and his theory, his intellectual have collected 19 definitions from IARR members. acuity, wisdom, and, above all, warmth, have profoundly Reading through them, one of the first similarities to affected my thinking. When Hal took you under his wing, emerge was altruism (Jean Illsley Clarcke: as was my good fortune, you entered a collegial "Compassionate love expects no return. Its relationship like none other. It included the opportunity to expressions are empowering, not patronizing. It is as engage in discourse about ideas at a "deep" level (though free of the limits of prejudice and solipsism as one had always to be on the lookout -- Hal loved to "twit" possible." Duncan Cramer: "Helping, or willingness his conversation partners). Hal was eager to hear about to help, someone in distress for no other reason than new ideas and research, and liked nothing better than to help them and in a way that person perceives as applying his theoretical model to new problems and new helpful." Warren Miller: "An expression of the situations. (I recall one day spent explaining to him my neural-based bonding system that is characterized by work on intimacy and responsiveness. He came back, a empathy and altruism.") few days later, with a unique and brilliant reanalysis.) Hal The Oxford English Dictionary defines listened patiently and intently, considered what he had altruism as “devotion to the welfare of others, regard heard open-mindedly, and then, once he understood the for others, as a principle of action; opposed to egoism issues, argued passionately and (invariably) convincingly or selfishness.” Indeed, many emphasized the for his beliefs. Rarely have I experienced the sort of importance of being actively compassionate, in "mind expanding" intellectual intensity embodied in the behaviour and intentions (Nancy Briton and Jennifer several working sessions we had for the "Atlas of Leaning: " In war settings, the deliberate insistence on Interpersonal Situations" (a copy of which Hal received persisting with the peace time normal behaviour be just a few days before his death). And yet, even when considered a significant indication of compassion or debating some sticky theoretical distinction to the point of altruism." Paul Yelsma: "A process of converting exhaustion, Hal did so with great affection. Hal loved positive thoughts and feelings one has for others into intellectual dialogue both for its own sake and for the observable meaningful behaviours that demonstrate great sense of relatedness that it fostered. This is what I concern and care for the welfare of the others”. Lynn will remember about Hal: A modest, soft-spoken man, a G. Underwood: "Compassionate love describes scholar without peer who enriched us all with his incisive attitudes and actions towards others, motivated vision, his passionate commitment to knowledge, and his primarily by a desire for the good of the other. It friendship. includes caring for, valuing and respecting the ______person.” Catalin Mamali: "The vectorial model of love and hate suggests that compassionate love is Compassion and Love in essentially expressed by the lover's tendency to help those who hate themselves and/or others, and to act Relationships – Can They Coexist? for transforming hate into a love force in the relations in which the lover is involved"), although one’s Sharon Shacham-Dupont underlying cognitions and feelings are not less University of Bristol important (Sue Sprecher, and Beverly Fehr: ”compassionate love is an attitude toward other or others, either close others or strangers or all of The first special topics conference for the humanity; containing feelings, cognitions, and behaviours that are focused on caring, concern, International Association for Relationship Research tenderness, and an orientation toward supporting and (IARR) was held May 30 – June 2, 2003, in helping the other(s), particularly when the other(s) Bloomington/Normal, IL, USA. I would like to thank is/or perceived to be suffering or in need." James M. The Fetzer Institute, and Illinois State University, for Honeycutt: "Compassionate love is a type of sharing making it possible, and to thank all of the committee that is selfless. There's communication and a need to members for the assistance in planning such a put the needs of others over individuals needs: wonderful event. altercentricity versus egocentricity.”) This conference focused on compassion and To fully comprehend one’s needs, a person love in relationships. Because these are vast topics, has to posses the capacity to be empathetic towards 13 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 another person (Arthur Aron, Stephen Wright, and Using an attachment theory perspective, Phil Tracy McLaughlin-Volpe: "A combination of Shaver and Mario Mikulincer suggest that people may cognitive predispositions including heightened other- differ in their ability to be compassionate based on focused attention, empathetic sharing of other's their adult attachment style. (Shaver and Mikulincer: affective experiences such as pride in other's ". . . compassionate love is, roughly, an emotion akin accomplishments and sorrow at their losses, and to empathy, sympathy, pity, and mercy tinged with other-directed behaviour such as generous sharing of warm affection or fondness – a form of love similar to resources or protection from harm."), or, as defined by God’s in being generous and genuinely helpful the Oxford English Dictionary, “have the power of without needing anything in return. Since we are projecting one’s personality into (and so fully working from an attachment perspective, we view comprehending) the object of contemplation.” This compassionate love as an emotion related to what point of view is shared and agreed upon by many of Bowlby (1969) called “the caregiving behavioral you, but what does it all mean? system,” an innate behavioral system that People can differ in their ability to be complements the attachment behavioral system. In the compassionate towards others, however, some may prototypical case, a child relies on an attachment agree it is much less demanding to show compassion figure for protection, comfort, support, and help with to strangers, than to show the same level of distress-regulation, and a “stronger, wiser” caregiver compassion to close others, about whom one cares responds to the child’s needs and calls for support by tremendously, and whose choices have a crucial effect providing appropriate protection, comfort, etc. The on his or her life. Indeed, some definitions focused on caregiver, who is often a parent or teacher, does not compassion toward humanity in general (Stacy L. (ideally) expect anything immediately tangible in Smith, Sandi W. Smith, Katherine Pieper, Edwards return for his or her generous support, beyond merely Downs, Jina Yoo, Becka Bowden, and Mathew seeing that a need has been met. Theoretically, a Butler: "Altruistically loving behaviour is: a generous more secure person should be better able than an act that attempts to meet another's need, shows insecure person (in the attachment sense) to ‘read’ devotion to a higher power/humanity, and other- signs or signals from someone who needs or would orientedness that is grounded in deep positive affect"), benefit from protection, help, or support, and should while another group of researchers mentioned close be more willing and able to provide appropriate care. others (Elaine Hatfield: “The affection and tenderness A number of our recent studies indicate that both people feel for those with whom their lives are deeply dispositional and experimentally induced attachment entwined. Compassionate love is a complex security do increase a person’s tendencies toward functional whole including appraisals or empathy, tole rance, forgiveness, and altruism (in both appreciations, subjective feelings, expressions, feelings and behavior). Moreover, relatively secure patterned physiological processes, action tendencies, people seem to offer help for less self-serving reasons and instrumental behaviours". Ben Karney: than insecure people."). "Compassionate love is a love that adores the other Why is this the case? Sue Johnson suggests globally while at the same time understanding and that one of the biggest blocks to compassion is accepting the other's specific strengths and difficulty in regulating one’s own emotions (" I would limitations"), and some focused on a dyadic unit define compassionate love as a loving response (David Bell: "Compassionate love is a dyadic typified by empathy and tenderness where a person phenomenon, so it always has two sides. Dyadic can be a safe haven for another. To feel this, the caregiving is the motivation to nurture and protect a responder would have to also feel safe and special partner. Dyadic attachment is the active emotionally connected. The biggest block to expectation that the partner will meet one's needs". compassion has to be difficulty regulating and Kim Gatz: "Compassionate love involves empathy, processing your own emotions.") Generally speaking, sincerity, and passion by one individual to another in secure individuals’ emotion regulation system is an interpersonal relationship”), nonetheless, being “healthier,” than that of insecure individuals. empathetic when one feels strongly about someone, Insecures can have a pattern typified by either putting their emotions and opinions aside, is possibly deactivation (avoidance) versus hyper-activation a much more challenging task. It is almost as if one (anxiety). Differences in emotion regulation patterns has to be “attached to the right extent” to fully offer might explain individual differences in the capacity to his or her compassion. offer compassion, regardless of who the object of contemplation might be. In the context of personal 14 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 relationships, and particularly dyadic units, these differences might be even more crucial to the level of s many of you probably know, I have compassion experienced by the couple. Time and A been a member of both INPR and ISSPR for quite a accumulation of problems, combined with lack of few years now, and I have been involved both in ability to offer real compassion can have a INPR governance and in the merger process that led fundamental effect on the well-being of relationships. to the creation of the IARR. After that, there was a Another component of compassion is feelings time gap in my involvement, as the duly appointed of sympathy. Many of your definitions addressed this ability (Susan Toliver: "A strong affection or liking IARR officers took charge (and while I was for someone that includes a sympathetic completing my doctoral dissertation). So, now that I understanding of their plight, suffering, or am back on the front line, it seems like a privileged occasion to look back upon what we have circumstance.” Karen J. Prager: "I first think of ‘love accomplished in the merger process, and to think of and compassion.’ A combination of a commitment the new possibilities that the current status opens to and feelings of love and feelings of sympathy and/or us. I do this, of course, from a peculiar perspective, empathy for the other person's perspective, feelings, not only because of my direct participation in the plight, etc.") Again, sympathy is defined by the Oxford process, but also due to my position in a European English Dictionary as following: “ A (real or country (and a quite small, peripheral and not so wealthy one!) I intend to use this column as a way of supposed) affinity between certain things, by virtue of sharing with you all (students, new professionals, or which they are similarly or correspondingly affected otherwise) my thoughts on these matters. by the same influence, affect or influence one another First, as I contemplate the merger process, I (esp. in some occult way), or attract or tend towards am delighted by what we have accomplished. Thanks each other.” So what are the differences between sympathy and empathy, and how do they affect the to the enthusiasm, commitment and skill of all those capacity to offer real compassionate love? involved (the first two are valid in my case as well), we have managed to overcome the difficulties that One possible way to look at it is that were faced and to establish a single, unified society to sympathy is a stepping stone towards empathy. represent the field of personal relationships; to keep Falling back onto similar experiences in one’s past two outstanding journals and to offer them to the might help him or her to better relate to the “object of membership at a much reduced cost (compared to contemplation” in front of them, and to imagine their feelings. In time, even without similar experiences in what prevailed before the merger for those belonging one’s past, their ability to show empathy to others will to both societies); and to do this while sustaining the increase. Doesn’t practice make perfect? Or if it best qualities of the founding societies: a high level of scholarship, active support for new scholars, an doesn’t work, we can always prime one with security. interdisciplinary stance and a truly international ______coverage. As I took contact with IARR Board of Directors activities, I was thrilled to see all of this happening. STUDENT & NEW One should never rest on one’s laurels, however, and so we must constantly think about ways PROFESSIONALS to build and improve on what we already have. In my COLUMN particular status as Student/New Professional representative, I consider my task to be that of serving, first, the students and new professionals that are IARR members, second, the Association in its Looking Back, Moving On entirety and, third, the field of personal relationships. I also believe that our first broad goal should be that João Moreira of improving upon and deepening the qualities we already have as a society and, secondly, to find new University of Lisbon, Portugal potential avenues for development. Finally, the main

strategic lines we elect to follow must be chosen with regard to the potential contributions of the field, the probable historical evolution of scholarship, and of

15 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 society at large, for the next few years, and the offering suggestions as to how each of you may help resources we have at our disposal. in furthering some of the goals I have outlined above. Considering all of this, I came to a set of four Be on the lookout for future columns in this strategic goals I will try to pursue during my term as newsletter! Student/New Professional Representative in the Board of Directors, undoubtedly with the help of fellow ______Board members, and of many other IARR members (again, students, new professionals, or otherwise). I will briefly mention these goals here, and I will come THE LIGHTER SIDE back to them in greater detail in my upcoming newsletter columns. OF RELATIONSHIPS 1. Increase the IARR membership size, by making the Association more widely known and by recruiting new members, both students and Reading between the Lines professionals. 2. Affirm the specificity of the study of By David Kenny relationships, as opposed to the study of individuals, groups, or other entities, mainly through development and training in theoretical and methodological hen those of us that are asked to write a approaches that emphasize the peculiarities of the W study of relationships. letter of recommendation, we sometimes do not quite 3. Support the career development of students say exactly what we really mean to say. We often try and new professionals interested in the study of to avoid saying something negative about the person relationships, through financial support, training and we want to put the most positive spin on things. opportunities (connect with goal 2 above), networking Below I provide the uninitiated some clues about with potential mentors, involvement in scholarly what it is that is really being said in letters of activities, etc. recommendation. You might want to save these for 4. Increase the representation, awareness and future letters that you will be asked to write: study of cultural diversity. This involves not only “I was most impressed by Silva’s help in the encouraging the study of culture as a determinant of early stages in the statistical analysis, especially his relationships, but also (a) supporting development and knowledge of SPSS” really means “The only thing training in theoretical and methodological approaches that statistical-novice Silva could do was to enter the that particularly tap cultural issues in relationships, raw data.” and (b) increasing the cultural diversity of the “Because Abercrombie worked with membership and, if possible, of conference locations. Professor Smith, I do not feel that I know her as well I understand that many of you will probably as my own students” really means “Abercrombie must think that only goal 3 would be appropriate for a have a full time job or something, because she only Student/New Professional Representative. However, comes in to the department to pick up her paycheck.” one must not forget that today's students will be “Quigley is full of energy and enthusiasm and tomorrow's established, prominent scholars. Those we the life of the party” really means “Quigley is out of are able to recruit today, and the kind of support we control and is likely visiting the methamphetamine lab provide them with, will do much to shape the field in too often.” the years to come. I firmly believe that our societies' “Bigelow is an enthusiastic teacher and works (INPR, ISSPR, IARR) tradition in supporting students diligently at perfecting his teaching” really means and new scholars is one of their most profitable long- “Bigelow has no idea about research and will likely term investments. never publish a study.” Well, these are some of my thoughts at the “I am most impressed about the ability of present time. I have little doubt that more will occur Lee to exploit the full potential of the web” really to me as my work in the Board of Directors develops. means “Lee seems to be at the computer all the time I also remain open to ideas and suggestions, downloading MP3s and porn.” particularly those coming from fellow Students/New “I often found myself totally amazed at the Professionals, so please feel free to e-mail me at creative responses that Hutchins gave when we [email protected]. I will soon repay you, by discussed his extensive research project ” really 16 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 means “I was truly amazed at the incredibly bizarre excuses that Hutchins gave for why his projects never got completed.” I AM A HUMAN “Garmin is rather reserved at laboratory meetings and class, but the few times that he does say something it is worthwhile” really means “Garmin is ANAGRAM painfully shy, and he would not even speak even if his ass were on fire.” “There have been several times while in my office that I have sought out Merckle for assistance I A M A H U M A and he has been resourceful in departmental projects ” really means “Thank goodness Merckle is so tall that A M A H U M A N he can reach books on my top shelf and play center on the department's intramural basketball team.” “Oglethorp's real strength shines throught in M A H U M A N A his ability to work with others” really means “Oglethorp is incapable of ever doing anything on his A H U M A N A N own and so he must freeload to get anything accomplished.” “When Smorch enters the room he always get H U M A N A N A noticed” really means “Smorch seems to never take a shower or a bath.” U M A N A N A G “In finishing a recent paper with Farnsworth, she was very resourceful in writing the last part of the paper” really means “Farnsworth cannot compose a M A N A N A G R meaningful sentence, but we finaally found something for Fransworth to do and that was to prepare the A N A N A G R A bibliography.” “Upson decided to take off two years from N A N A G R A M graduate school to work in an intensive men’s group project” really means “Upson had to spend two years in jail on a drunk driving charge.” —William Ickes “Students come early to class when Kraft is giving a lecture” really means “People get there early so they can find a comfortable enough chair far in the back for a nap.” “Ladupa is quick to volunteer and he has often picked up speakers as the airport” really means “Ladupa has a part time job driving a taxi.” “I see McGuillicudy as someone who would network well at conferences” really means “McGuillicudy will be in a different bed every night of the conference.” Net News “Of late, I have noticed that Fiori seems enthusiastic and full of the joy of life” really means Lisa Baker “Finally, the prozac that Fiori started taking has begun Purchase College, SUNY to kick in.”

The new IARR web site is now up and running at www.iarr.org. Current postings include · Information on the 2004 Madison conference, including the Call for Papers, 17 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

· On-line membership renewal (thanks to Chris Specifically, after some research, I proposed that we Agnew), hire a company named 123signup.com to assist us in · An on-line version of this newsletter, collecting membership enrollments, membership · The 2003 IARR Annual Report, and renewals, and conference registrations on-line. In an · The beginning of an IARR Administrative attempt to summarize the Board’s discussion of the Handbook, including descriptions and duties proposal, I’ve provided some of the questions and of officer positions. answers that we considered below:

We have a growing list of members’ home Why move membership services on-line? pages, which can be found under “Communicating The primary benefit of going on-line is considerably with Members.” Please add your home page to the list less hassle for everyone, particularly for our by emailing the url to [email protected]. The international members. More specifically, here is list helps IARR members locate each other’s work. what we gain: I also created a page that lists graduate programs with IARR-affiliated faculty on staff, as a * Members can pay their dues or conference service to prospective grad students who are registration fees using a credit card, instantly. They interested in the study of personal relationships. You can also print out a receipt, instantly. As an can find this page by clicking on “Internet Links.” If organization, we no longer have to deal with credit you’d like your graduate program to be listed here, card processing or the screening of expired credit please send me the url at [email protected]. cards. Anyone wishing to join or to renew will now I am also happy to post items of interest to the be directed to our on-line “membership” page, which general membership; you can email them to the same is linked from the IARR home page (www.iarr.org). address. And I am delighted to entertain suggestions for improving the web site—if you see anything that * Members can update information about themselves could be improved or added, please let me know. In on-line, at any time, day or night. When a mailing fact the list of grad programs was a member address is updated, it automatically generates an email suggestion (thanks, Tim Loving). Keep ‘em coming! to the Secretary-Treasurer which is then collated with ______others and forwarded to our journal publishers (Blackwell and Sage).

IARR Membership Services * We eliminate the expense of mailing out Moves On-Line! membership directories. The directory, based on entries in each member’s profile, will now be available on-line, password-protected, ready for our Christopher R. Agnew members to grab whenever they might need it. It will IARR Secretary-Treasurer also be easier to update more frequently. The current pla n is to update it quarterly rather than annually. I am pleased to report that the IARR Board * We can more easily send out email messages to our unanimously approved a recent proposal to move members, using the email addresses stored in each membership services on-line. And move we have: member’s profile. (Note that we will be sparing in the Please go to www.iarr.org and click on “Membership” number of messages that we do send.) to see for yourself! Members can now update their own profile, renew their memberships, and (when the Why use 123signup.com? time comes) register for IARR conferences. This organization currently manages memberships for Moreover, credit card payments (VISA and a number of other scientific societies (e.g., Society for MasterCard) for dues and registration fees are now Experimental Social Psychology) as well as many accepted on-line (via a secure web site). corporations (e.g., Merrill Lynch). I researched other

membership services companie s and found that this I proposed moving on-line after discussions with our one provides the most complete array of services at former Secretary-Treasurer, Bill Dragon, and after the most competitive prices. discussions with Secretary-Treasurers from other organizations similar in scope and mission to IARR. What will it cost us to do this? 18 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

There is an initial setup cost, a monthly maintenance fee, and transaction charges. Bottom line annual cost Do members outside of the US commonly have works out to around $6 per member per year at our VISA and MasterCard accounts? current association size. As an organization, moving Yes, they do. And they like the exchange rate being on-line is going to cost us more than we currently computed automatically for them when they use their spend on dues processing and membership record credit card on-line. updating. As a result, membership dues will likely be increased. However, the savings in terms of person What procedures will be followed to facilitate hours needed to keep IARR functioning is membership renewals on-line? considerable: Without an on-line system, Bill Dragon Membership runs from January 1 to December 31. has estimated that it takes approximately 16 hours Payment of dues is requested prior to January 1 of PER WEEK on average to handle IARR-related each year. Each October, all current members will be matters. The new on-line system will markedly sent an email message asking them to renew their reduce that time requirement. membership for the next year. The email message will contain a web link that, upon clicking, allows the Of course, it is important to keep in mind what member to login and quickly pay their dues. membership dues are for: to provide services to Members can immediately pay with a credit card or members. Surely our journals count as services but they can indicate that they will be mailing in a check so, too, should keeping our organization running to the Secretary-Treasurer (the mailing address is smoothly and in a manner that is maximally user- indicated on-line). Those members who do not renew friendly to members. Filling out cumbersome forms by mid-November will be sent another email message (in which, each year, you are again asked to detail at that time. Those members who do not renew by your research interests, etc.) and mailing them back mid-December will be sent one final email reminder. in, emailing an address change and hoping it is Any member who prefers not to renew on-line may received and processed in a timely fashion, etc., is contact the Secretary-Treasurer for alternative relatively inefficient. The Board sees its goal as renewal options. moving IARR ahead on various fronts, including membership services. How will the new system handle verification of student memberships? Did you get cost estimates from other companies? As part of the enrollment process, student members With every company that I researched, the per-person are told that they must fax proof of their student status annual cost changes as a function of the size of the to the Secretary-Treasurer within 7 days of their on- association. If we assume a 500 member association, line enrollment. A copy of current course registration then 123signup provided the least expensive per- or a brief letter from a faculty member in their person cost for the services that they provide program constitutes proof. As in the past, a student (membership initiations, renewals, conference membership will not be considered valid until proof is registrations, and member profile updates), though received. most of the services hovered in a similar price range. There was not huge variability in costs. What assurances do we have regarding the privacy of member profiles stored on-line? Will this lead Does the move on-line mean that ALL relevant to even more spam email than we already receive? transactions have to be done on-line? Are we safe No email messages will ever be sent to our in assuming that all members have on-line access? membership other than IARR-related messages that Will members still have the option to use regular are generated and sent by the account administrator mail? (i.e., Your faithful Secretary-Treasurer). Members will still have the option of mailing a check 123signup.com guarantees the privacy of our email to the Secretary-Treasurer if they so desire. list. Our database will never be sold and email Regarding on-line access, all but 3 of our addresses will not be provided to anyone outside of approximately 500 paid members have on-line access IARR. of some type (as indicated by an email address) and these 3 individuals are all U.S. regular members. Who owns the membership database? Do we have These members will be mailed renewal materials at complete access to it at all times? the appropriate time. 19 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

We own and will continue to own the database that is to PR has been increasing. The number of regular maintained by 123signup.com. It is clearly indicated submissions by around Sept. 1 (the time this report is in their policies. The account administrator has 24- written) was 50 in 2001, 60 in 2002, and 70 in 2003! hour, 7-day-a-week access to the database and can We are expecting to receive 100 or more regular download it (into Excel, for example) at any time. submissions for 2003. We have also had a record And whenever anyone changes their profile, an email number of submissions to our two special issues. The is automatically sent to the account administrators Context special issue (co-edited by Dan Perlman and regarding the change. Cathy Surra; Vol 10, issue 3) received 36 submissions and the Emotions special (co-edited by Julie Fitness I hope that members will enjoy this new membership and Sally Planalp, still being processed and likely to benefit. Please contact me ([email protected]) be Vol. 12, issue 2) received 42 submissions. We should you have any questions, suggestions, or have negotiated with Blackwell an increase in the concerns. And thanks to all those members who have number of pages of the journal to accommodate the helped to make this new system a reality. greater number of articles likely to be accepted for publication.

JOURNALS Acceptance Rates and Other Statistics: Similar to UPDATE prior years, the acceptance rate for PR has remained about 25%. The average lag between submission of an article and receiving initial editorial feedback has averaged about 3 months. In many cases, we are able to send feedback sooner because of the willingness of A Report on Personal reviewers to receive the manuscript over e-mail. We Relationships strive to return editorial decisions as quickly as we can. The acceptance-to-publication lags for papers Submitted by the Editor, Susan Sprecher currently being accepted at PR is relatively low, averaging 9-12 months, which is very good for a Below is a summary of the operation and new quarterly journal. developments for Personal Relationships, one of the two journals associated with the International Transitions in our Editorial Team: As we announced Association for Relationship Research. For those in the report of the Spring newsletter, Steve Wilson unfamiliar with the journal, it’s a quarterly journal ended his term as Associate Editor and Ximena that is published by Blackwell publishers. For more Arriaga and Walid Afifi began terms as Associate information, go to the journal’s website at: Editors. We also rotated some members off the PR’s http://lilt.ilstu.edu/personalrelationships/ editorial board and added new members. The current 54-member board consists of (those in bold are new Current Editor : Susan Sprecher (Sociology, Illinois as of this summer): State University, USA) Current Associate Editors: Rebecca G. Adams, Christopher R. Agnew, Paul R. Walid Afifi (Communication, Pennsylvania Amato, Peter A. Andersen, Art Aron, Jeff State University, USA) Aspelmeier, Victoria H. Bedford, Susan Boon, Graham Allan (Sociology, Keele University, Katherine Carnelley, Rodney Cate, John Caughlin, England) W. Andrew Collins, Duncan Cramer, John Ximena Arriaga (Psychology, Purdue Cunningham, Michael R. Cunningham, Joanne University, USA) Davila, Val Derlega, Judith A. Feeney, Beverley Julie Fitness (Psychology, Macquarie Fehr, Diane Felmlee, Catrin Finkenauer, Judith University, Australia) Fischer, William Graziano, Nancy K. Grote, Laura Leanne Lamke (Family Studies, Auburn Guerrero , W. Kim Halford, Manfred Hassebrauck, University, USA) Susan S. Hendrick, Jon Hess, John G. Holmes, Dan Perlman (Family Studies & Social Marinus van Ijzendoorn, Esther Kluwer, Leanne Work, University of British Columbia, Canada) Knobloch, Larry Kurdek, Benjamin Le, Sally A. Lloyd, Tim Loving, John Lydon, Sandra Metts, Number of Submissions: The number of submissions Mario Mikulincer, Rowland Miller, Sandra Murray, 20 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Patricia Noller, Joe F. Pittman, Sally Planalp, Harry Reis, Linda J. Roberts, Angela Rowe, Elaine Scharfe, Please keep submitting your very best scholarly work Chris Segrin, Todd Shackelford, Phillip Shaver, to JSPR. Paul and I have agreed that, if I accept more Donna L. Sollie, Anita L. Vangelisti papers than are needed to fill the 2004 issue, these accepted articles will appear in the 2005 issue. So, New Scholar Reviewers: As we have announced in authors should experience a seamless transition to the past, we usually include at least one new scholar Paul’s editorship. reviewer for each manuscript. We have an ever- evolving list of graduate students, post-doc students, and assistant professors who have been willing to New JSPR Editor, Paul Mongeau serve PR in this capacity (for a list of the names see the website). Everyone wins with the new scholar Paul Mongeau has been named the incoming editor reviewers. The authors gain additional useful of Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Paul comments (beyond the typical 3 reviews), the new is professor of human communication at Arizona scholar gains experience in the reviewing/publishing State University, where he is currently the director of process, and the journal benefits because the articles doctoral studies. He received his PhD in that are ultimately accepted are stronger because of communication from Michigan State in 1988. Before their insightful comments. A big thank you to the coming to Arizona State University, he spent 15 years new scholar reviewers! If you are a new scholar at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, where he co- who would like to review a manuscript, please contact hosted an INPR conference with Sally Lloyd. Paul me: [email protected] was editor of Communication Studies for its 1998- 2000 issues, during which time he produced three We look forward to continuing to serve you at years of the journal in two years! Personal Relationships! Please submit your best work and let us obtain Paul will begin receiving manuscripts for JSPR in excellent reviews for you in a timely fashion. January 2004, and will put out his first issue in January 2005. Authors interested in submitting articles for publication will be asked first to email A Report on Journal of Social and only the abstract and title page to Paul, at: Personal Relationships [email protected]. Paul will respond with the Submitted by the Editor, name and email address of an associate editor to Mark Fine whom the full manuscript should be emailed.

The big news for JSPR is that it has a new Editor, Paul Mongeau of Arizona State University. Paul has Contents of Upcoming Journals sterling credentials and has considerable editorial experience. He will begin receiving new manuscripts Personal Relationships on January 1, 2004 and I will finish processing all Volume 10, Number 4, December 2003 papers that were submitted by December 31, 2003. DANIEL J. WEIGEL, KYMBERLEY K. BENNETT, More information will be forthcoming about the AND DEBORAH S. BALLARD-REISCH manuscript submission process under Paul’s Family Influences on Commitment: Examining the Family editorship. I and everyone associated with JSPR wish of Origin Correlates of Relationship Commitment Attitudes

Paul the very best in this new role. Thanks to Anita JUDITH FEENEY, RICHARD ALEXANDER, Vangelisti and the search committee, who worked PATRICIA NOLLER, AND LYDIA HOHAUS tirelessly to secure a new editor. Attachment Insecurity, Depression, and the Transition to Parenthood A reminder that the last special issue during my term will be on Health in Personal Relationships and MARIAN M. MORRY Families, guest-edited by Carma Bylund and Steve Perceived Locus of Control and Satisfaction in Same-Sex Duck of the University of Iowa. The articles for this Friendships special issue have been sent to Sage and will be published in the February, 2004 issue. LAWRENCE A. KURDEK 21 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Negative Representations of the Self/Spouse and Marital Jane M. Richards, Emily A. Butler, & James J. Gross Distress Emotion regulation in romantic relationships: The cognitive consequences of concealing feelings FLEUR THOMESE, THEO VAN TILBURG, AND KEES C.P.M. KNIPSCHEER Luis E. Oliver & Valerie E. Whiffen Perceptions of Continuation of Exchange with Neighbors in Later Life: parents and partners and men’s depressive symptoms The Importance of the Neighborhood Context V.J. Willan & Paul Pollard Likelihood of acquaintance REVIEWER ACKNOWLEGEMENTS rapte as a function of males’ sexual expectations, disappointment, and adherence to rape conducive attitudes VOLUME 10, 2003, INDEX Brief Articles: Volume 11, Number 1, March 2004 Kimberly J. O’Farrell, Eve N. Rosenthal, & Edgar C. ARTICLES O’Neal Relationship satisfaction and responsiveness to nonmates’ flirtation: Testing an evolutionary explanation DISTINGUISHED SCHOLAR ARTICLE LESLIE A. BAXTER Gilad Hirschberger, Victor Florian, & Mario Mikulincer Relationships as Dialogues Strivings for romantic intimacy following partner complain or partner criticism: A terror management perspective JAMES A. CRANFORD Stress-Buffering or Stress-Exacerbation? Social Support Katherine M. Kitzmann & Robert Cohen Parents’ vs. and Social Undermining as Moderators of the Relationship children’s perceptions of interparental conflict as predictors Between Perceived Stress and Depressive Symptoms of children’s friendship quality Among Married People Book Reviews EUN JUNG SUH, D. S. MOSKOWITZ, MARC A. FOURNIER, AND DAVID C. ZUROFF December, 2003 (Vol. 20, 6) Gender and Relationships: Influences on Agentic and A. Michele Lease, Richard M. McFall, Teresa A. Treat, & Communal Behaviors Richard J. Viken Assessing children’s representations of their peer group using a multidimensional scaling technique BARBARA FRALEY AND ARTHUR ARON The Effect of a Shared Humorous Experience on Closeness Tamara D. Afifi “Feeling caught” in stepfamilies: in Initial Encounters Managing boundary turbulence through appropriate communication privacy rules NANCY E. FRYE AND BENJAMIN R. KARNEY Revision in Memories of Relationship Development: Do Mark Whisman Correlates of depression and marital Biases Persist Over Time? dissatisfaction: Perceptions of marital communication style

HEIDI R. RIGGIO Sharon Manne, Jamie Ostroff, Marne Sherman, Marc Parental Marital Conflict and Divorce, Parent-Child Glassman, Stephanie Ross, Lori Goldstein, & Kevin Fox Relationships, Social Support and Relationship Anxiety in Buffering effects of family and friend support on Young Adulthood associations between partner unsupportive behaviors and coping among women with breast cancer LEANNE K. KNOBLOCH AND DENISE HAUNANI SOLOMON Pehr Granqvist & Berit Hagekull Longitudinal predictions Interference and Facilitations from Partners in the of religious change in adolescence: Contributions from the Development of Interdependence within Romantic interaction of attachment and relationship status Relationships Joanne Doucet & Robert H. Aseltine, Jr. Childhood

family adversity and the quality of marital relationships in ______young adulthood

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships Shannon Weaver & Lawrence H. Ganong The Factor October, 2003 (Vol. 20, 5) Structure of the Romantic Beliefs Scale for African Eriko Maeda & L. David Ritchie The concept of shinyuu Americans and European Americans in Japan: A replication of and comparison to Cole and Bradac’s study on U.S. friendship

22 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Brief Article: Laboratory, 310 Strickler Hall, University of Louisville, Louisville, KY 40292, USA, phone Miri Scharf and Rachel Hertz-Lazarowitz Social networks in the school context: Effects of culture and 502-852-5953, [email protected]. gender ______Book Reviews

MEMBER NEWS

ANNOUNCEMENT & UPDATES

Congratulations to the following Itziar Alonso-Arbiol, lecturer at the Psychology members for their outstanding recent Department of the University of the Basque Country accomplishments: (Spain), is looking for European colleagues from other countries wishing to promote the exchange of Jeffrey Adams has been promoted to Associate undergraduate or postgraduate students within the Professor of Psychology with tenure in the Socrates Program. She believes this sort of Department of Behavioral Sciences at High Point agreement would be an excellent opportunity to settle University in High Point, North Carolina. an European network for the study of relationships.

Contact her for any further information at the Krystyna Aune has been promoted to full Professor of following email address: [email protected] Communication at the University of Hawaii, has received the 2003 Board of Regents Excellence in ______Teaching Award, and recently gave birth to her third

son, Kenneth Ikaika Aune.

JOB ANNOUNCEMENT John Birtchnell has a new book, entitled The two of me: The rational outer me and the emotional inner me, forthcoming from Routledge London.

Rosemary Blieszner and Karen Roberto have POST-DOC. New or recent Ph.D. in Social received a two-year grant entitled Caregivers of Psychology or Interpersonal Communication sought persons with mild cognitive impairment: Information for NIH-supported multi-disciplinary study of mate and support needs from the Alzheimer’s Association. selection dynamics. Candidates should be familiar with both evolutionary and interpersonal research on Leah Bryant received her PhD from the University of romantic attraction, and have demonstrated skills in Nebraska and is now Assistant Professor of experimental and survey research methods, and Communication Studies at DePaul University. statistical analysis. Interpersonal skills, conscientiousness, and flexibility are essential; Amy Busboom, of the University of Arizona Family experience in grant writing, project coordination and Studies and Human Development Department, has computer programming are desirable. Salary and married and changed her name to Amy Reesing . benefits are competitive. Position is for one year, but potentially renewable. Louisville is a very livable city Joyce Catlett, along with Robert Firestone and Lisa with excellent arts, amenities and low housing costs. Firestone, has a new book entitled Creating a life of Candidate review begins immediately and will meaning and compassion: The wisdom of continue until the position is filled. Please send psychotherapy, published by APA books. statement of interests and qualifications, vita, publications, and 3 letters of recommendation to Nancy Collins was promoted to Associate Professor Michael Cunningham, Ph.D., Social Communication with tenure in the Department of Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She also

23 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 received the 2002 Harold J. Plous Memorial Award Sue Johnson and Valerie Whiffen have recently from UCSB for outstanding contributions to the edited a book entitled Attachment processes in couple intellectual life of the campus community through and family therapy, published by Guilford. Details research and teaching. Finally, and best of all, she about an upcoming conference on attachment will gave birth to Lily Collins Purvis on October 27, 2002 soon be on their website: www.eft.ca

Meliksah Demir, of the Department of Psychology at Pamela Kalbfleisch has recently been appointed Wayne State University, was awarded a travel award Director of the School of Communication at the and selected as an international positive psychology University of North Dakota in Grand Forks. fellow for the 2003 International Positive Psychology meeting, to be held in Washington, DC, in October. Shelley Kilpatrick is Assistant Professor of Psychology at Southwest Baptist University. Valerian Derlega and Sandra Petronio, along with Kathryn Greene and Gust Yep, have a new book Robin Kowalski has started a new job at Clemson entitled Privacy and disclosure of HIV in University and has recently published two books: interpersonal relationships: A sourcebook for Complaining, teasing, and other annoying behaviors researchers and practitioners, published by Erlbaum. ( Press); and, Key readings in social psychology: The interface of social and clinical Eli Finkel has been appointed Assistant Professor of psychology (Psychology Press). Social Psychology at Northwestern University. Adrianne Kunkel has received the Graduate Faculty Regan Gurung has received tenure in the Dept of Mentorship Award from the Department of Psychology at University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. Communication Studies at University of Kansas; the Outstanding Woman Educator Award from the Raeann Hamon has a new book entitled Mate Commission on the Status of Women and Emily selection across cultures, published by Sage. Taylor Women’s Resource Center at University of Kansas; a $20,000 grant from the Health Resources Michael Hecht, Department of Communication Arts and Services Administration for the Telehealth for and Sciences at Penn State, was awarded a 5-year, Kansas project; and a grant from the University of $4,063,286 grant from NIDA for a drug resistance Kansas General Research Fund for a study of social strategies project. Funding will support longitudinal support for breast cancer survivors. Way to go! research into the relationships among acculturation, ethnic identity, communication development, and Brian Lakey has received the Outstanding Graduate adolescent drug use, as well as to develop and Mentor Award from Wayne State University. evaluate a multicultural intervention. Frieder Lang and Karen Fingerman have a new Vicki Helgeson has received a grant entitled book entitled Growing together: Personal Adolescent adjustment to Type I IDDM. relationships across the life span, published by Cambridge University Press. Jon Hess has been promoted to Associate Professor with tenure in the Department of Communication at Tim Loving has begun a tenure-track position in the University of Missouri—Columbia. Department of Human Ecology, Division of Human Development and Family Sciences, at the University James Honeycutt has a new book entitled Imagined of Texas at Austin. interactions: Daydreaming about communication, published by Hampton Press. He also recently was Stacey Nairn has received the University of Calgary married to Elizabeth Stout in Gulf Shores, Alabama. Department of Psychology service award for work on the undergraduate committee and the student research William Ickes has a new book entitled Everyday mind conference. She has a new article entitled At the core reading: Understanding what other people think and of introductory psychology: A content analysis. feel, forthcoming from Prometheus Books. Franz Neyer and Jens Asendorpf, of Humboldt University in Berlin, have received a grant from the 24 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

German Research Foundation for a study on Department of Communication at Humboldt State personality-relationship transaction in young University (California) in August 2003. adulthood.

Pamela Regan has been promoted to full Professor in the Department of Psychology at California State NEW MEMBERS University, Los Angeles, and has a new book entitled The mating game: A primer on love, sex, and marriage, published by Sage. We are pleased to welcome the David Reid has received the annual Teaching Award following new members to IARR: from the Northeastern Association of Graduate Schools. He had received the York University Jennifer Becker is based at the University of Faculty of Graduate Studies Graduate Teaching Oklahoma. Her research interests centre on Award earlier this year. interpersonal communication in personal relationships and in organizational and mental health contexts. Suzanna Rose has a new book entitled Lesbian love and relationships, published by Harrington Park Wade Bettis is a practicing lawyer based in Oregon Press. She has also received the Women of that represents parents and children in dependency Distinction Award from the City of Miami cases. His interests include abuse/aggression/bullying, Commission on the Status of Women, and the Thelma attachment, and divorce. Gibson Award of Excellence from the Women’s Chamber of Commerce of Miami-Dade County. Guy Cunningham researches psychology and family studies at Grand View College, Iowa. His interests Wade Rowatt has received tenure in the Department include relationship development/partner selection, of Psychology and Neuroscience at Baylor University. marriage and work.

Paul Schrodt is Assistant Professor of Renae Franiuk researches several different areas of Communication Studies at University of Texas at romantic relationship (e.g., implicit theories, domestic Arlington. He received the Graduate Teaching Award violence) at the University of Wisconsin. from the Central States Communication Association. Stéphane Guay is based at the University of Pepper Schwartz has been elected President-elect of Montreal, Canada. Her research interests include the Pacific Sociological Associa tion. mental health, social support and stress.

Jackie Weinstock has a new book entitled Lesbian ex- Diane Holmberg works in the Department of lovers: The really long-term relationship , published Psychology at Acadia University, Canada. Her by Harrington Park Press, and an in-press chapter interests include cognition, memory in relationships, entitled Lesbian FLEX-ibility: Friend and/or family and retrospective reports. connections among lesbian EX-lovers. She recently received tenure. Ruthellen Josselson researches psychology in Baltimore with research interests covering life Gail Williamson’s Family Relationships in Late Life events/lifespan, intimacy, retrospective reports and Project has been re-funded for another five years for relationship types. $2,700,000 by the National Institute on Aging. Beth Kirsner is a student at the University of Jan Yager has had the sixth foreign publisher, in Arizona. Her research concerns the impact of Korea, buy translation rights to her book Friendshifts: affective disorders and symptoms on mate selection The power of friendship and how it shapes our lives, and sexual behaviour. published by Hannacroix Creek Books. Kudo Kazuhiro is at the Department of English at Julie Yingling has a book in press entitled A lifetime Dokkyo University, Japan. Research interests are the of communication. She began serving as Chair of the 25 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1 intersection of international student adjustment, Stephanie Schneider is a student whose research and intercultural friendship, and communication. teaching focuses on evolutionary explanations of friendship and other non-sexual social relationships in Li-Wen Lin is int Lincoln, Nebraska and researches humans and non-human primates. love styles and couple relationships. Michael Searcy is a student at the University of Iowa Brent Mallinckrodt is at the University of Missouri, whose research concerns the detection of deception Columbia and researches attachment theory and communication and nonverbal communication. psychotherapy; health enhancing properties of close relationships, and social competencies. Sharon Shacham is a student at the University of Bristol. Her research is concerned with marital Marian Morry is at the Psychology Department at conflicts as affected by processes. the University of Manitoba in Canada. Her research involves perceptions within relationships; how Alan Sillars is based in the Department of perceptions of another influence satisfaction, and how Communication Studies at the University of Montana. attraction leads to perceptions of similarity. His research interests include cognition, conflict, and social interaction. Kimberly O’Farrell teaches at the Psychology Department at Minnesota State University in Sunwolf is Assistant Professor of Communication at Mankato. She researches relational devaluation and Santa Clara University, where she is completing post- self-motivations in close relationships, and doctoral studies in counselling psychology. She is a relationship satisfaction and l protection. former trial attorney and training director for Colorado’s Public Defender System who researches Carla Alexandra Dos Santos Paiva is a student at jury deliberations, creativity processes in groups, and the University of Minho in Portugal who researches social influence during group decision-making. attachment as a predictor of relationship quality, abuse towards partner and health symptoms. Susan Toliver is at Iona College in New Rochelle, NY and researches friendship across the divides of Beth Paul is based in the Psychology Department at gender, race, class, age, and sexual orientation. the College of New Jersey. Her research interests include gender, intimacy, and qualitative methods. Manfred Dulmen is at the University of Minnesota and researches relationship processes and antisocial Edwin Ramos-Soto is based in San Francisco and is behavior dur ing adolescence/ young adulthood, currently involved in Developing and Testing Model measurement issues, and international perspectives on of HIV Risk for Gay Male Couples with the Centre developmental/relationship research. for AIDS Prevention Studies, UCSF. C. Arthur VanLear is based in the Department of Karen Nunez is currently researching cognitive Communication sciences at the University of orientations among adult intimate partners with regard Connecticut. He studies relationships in alcoholism to issues of justice in intimate relationships. and addiction recovery and relationship emergence.

Stephanie Rollie is a student at the University of Violeta Vidacek-Hains is at the University of Zagreb Iowa. She is interested in studying relational in Croatia. Her research interests include expectations, roles, blended families, divorce, and communication, personality, and social skills. identity management. Laura Winn is based at Wayne State University in Richard Sabatino coaches individuals and groups Detroit. Her research interests include language and who are committed to bringing the best out in others social cognition, attraction and intimacy. and making a difference in the world. Of particular interest is the role of fear in relationships and Alaina Winters is based at Heartland Community fulfilment and ways in which individuals College in Illinois. Her research interests include communicate their wants and needs. relationship types, language, and flirtation.

26 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Paul Yarab is at Mercy College of Northwest Ohio. He is primarily a teaching professional, teaching Susan Sprecher, Chair of the Conference introductory, social, lifespan, abnormal psychology, Planning Committee introductory sociology, and cultural diversity. ______The first special topics conference co-sponsored by IARR was a success. It was held May 30 - June 2, 2003 at the Chateau Hotel and Conference Center in CALL FOR PAPERS Bloomington/Normal, Illinois, USA, and was attended by approximately 135 people. Although a large number of the participants came from Illinois and other states in the Midwest United States, people Western Journal of Communication also came from all over the United States and from five other countries (England, Canada, Australia, Call for Papers Israel, and Mexico). The keynote speakers were Phillip R. Shaver Special Issue on Non-normative and Mario Mikulincer (Attachment and Altruism),Benjamin Karney (Knowing and Adoring: Relationships A Cognitive/Motivational Model of Compassionate Love), Susan S. Hendrick and Clyde Hendrick An upcoming special issue of the Western Journal (Keeping the Passion in Compassionate Love) and of Communication (Spring 2005) will focus on “non- Lynn Underwood (Compassionate Love Research – normative relationships,” broadly defined. Relational An Adventure?). contexts appropria te for this special issue include, but The program also consisted of 42 oral are not limited to, long-distance relationships, online presentations, 12 roundtable discussions, and 22 relationships, parent- adult child relationships, single poster sessions. The conference was co-sponsored by parent and step family relationships, interracial the Fetzer Institute, who provided a grant to help keep relationships, sexually diverse relationships, and other the costs of the conference low. By all accounts, the relationship types that are significant yet participants enjoyed the presentations, the food, and understudied. Both theoretical and empirical the social opportunities/ entertainment which included examinations will be considered using a blind review an awards ceremony (with fun awards provided by process. Submissions must be received by March 15, Brian Spitzberg and Ann Weber) and a “sockhop”. 2004 and should conform to WJC’s editorial policy. I wish to thank all of the following people Send submissions to Tara Emmers-Sommer at the who served on the conference planning committee: following address: Dawn Braithwaite, Beverley Fehr, Frank Keefe, Kathleen McKinney, Pat Noller, Terri Orbuch, and Dr. Tara Emmers-Sommer Maria Schmeeckle. Most of all, I want to thank all of Guest Editor, Western Journal of Communication you who attended and helped make this conference a Department of Communication, Bldg. #25 success. University of Arizona ______Tucson, AZ 85721 USA Future Conferences Committee ______

Terri Orbuch CONFERENCE n the IARR spring newsletter, I announced (as FCC ANNOUNCEMENTS I Chair) that Bruges, Belgium (Local Host: Patrick Hunout) would be the site for the 2006 IARR conference. Patrick is president of TSCF (The Social First Special Topics Conference Capital Foundation), and he submitted a proposal to was a Success! FCC to host the 2006 conference. FCC and the IARR 27 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

Board were pleased with the conference site and the program. Hence, although the Local Arrangements local host. After the announcement, Patrick and I (in Chair will ultimately need to work closely with the collaboration with Bill Cupach and Bob Milardo) set Program Chair, those developing proposals to host an out to negotiate an agreeable contract between IARR IARR conference need not focus attention on program and TSCF. We have been working several months to planning. forge an agreement for a conference in Bruges. The Future Conferences Committee (FCC) Both TSCF and IARR have made good faith will initially receive preliminary proposals. The efforts in trying to forge an agreement/contract. At preliminary proposal contains only the most essential this point however, we cannot come to a mutually information needed to evaluate potential conference agreed upon contract/understanding. We remain too sites. After screening preliminary proposals, the FCC far apart on several important issues. IARR's concerns may solicit a full proposal. The full proposal contains stemmed from: 1) not wanting to break from previous the detailed information needed by the FCC and traditions that have most lunches and some dinners as IARR Board to make final decisions about conference a group, which are included in the registration fee; 2) locations. We hope the conference site/chair will be wanting the IARR Board to examine and approve a selected by January 2004. The information for the detailed budget before and after the conference (from preliminary proposal to host the 2006 IARR TSCF), and 3) wanting to maintain primary control conference is listed below. and management of the content of the conference Please send all preliminary proposals to Terri program, opening reception, and the awards dinner. I Orbuch (Chair, Future Conferences Committee) appreciate all the efforts that both sides have made in ([email protected]) via email by October 15, these negotiation processes, but in the end, the two 2003. If you have any questions or concerns (or want organizations had different goals and desires for the to discuss the possibility), please contact Terri conference. Orbuch. Consequently, the primary goal of the FCC in the next several months will be toaccept and review A preliminary proposal to host an IARR conference new proposals for the 2006 IARR conference. We are should contain the following information: still committed to a Non-North American site for the 1. Names and contact information (addresses, 2006 IARR conference. Pleaseencourage proposal office and home telephone numbers, fax submissions from any of your contacts, colleagues numbers, email addresses) of those making and friends. The deadline for submissions is October the proposal. Include an indication of 15, 2003. willingness to serve as Local Arrangements Chair. ______2. Site of the conference, including city, state or province, and country. Include the actual Invitation for 2006 Conference physical site of the conference, such as a particular university or conference center. Preliminary Proposals Also, provide a brief description of the site’s ambience. (Appropriate and successful sites Terri Orbuch can vary widely but university settings and small, attractive conference centers are The IARR Future Conferences Committee invites preferred.) Conferences have been growing preliminary proposals to host the 2006 IARR steadily, but we expect 300-350 participants. conference. Deadline: October 15, 2003. We are 3. The planned date of the conference (usually a especially interested in Non-North American 4-5 day period in July, which seems to be a locations. reasonably convenient time for most IARR Proposals to host an IARR conference are members). typically brought forward by an individual, or group 4. A description of major venues for the of individuals, that will act as Local Arrangements conference. This should include descriptions Chair (or Co-Chairs) for the conference. The Local of: Arrangements Committee is distinct from the a. Meeting places, including Program Planning Committee, the latter of which has auditoriums for plenary sessions, a the responsibility for developing the conference central area for breaks between sessions, large rooms for symposia, 28 Relationship Research News FALL 2003, VOL 2, NO. 1

book exhibits, registration, and poster conferences. The FCC will begin to review proposals sessions (with the potential to have starting October 1, 2003. upwards to 60 posters); and smaller The Future Conferences Committee (FCC) rooms for paper sessions and interest will initially receive preliminary proposals. The groups. preliminary proposal contains only the most essential b. Presentation equipment, including information needed to evaluate potential mini- access to overhead projectors, conferences. After screening preliminary proposals, computers for power point the FCC may solicit a full proposal. The full proposal presentations, proximas or similar contains the detailed information needed by the FCC projectors, and poster stands for and IARR Board to make final decisions about poster sessions. conference locations. c. Eating facilities, including cafeterias, Proposals to host an IARR 2005 mini- dining rooms, and banquet halls. conference or workshop can be brought forward by an Meals are typically included in the individual, or group of individuals. Please send all “conference fee” thus encouraging preliminary proposals to Terri Orbuch (Chair, Future participants’ meeting and interacting. Conferences Committee) ([email protected]) via d. Lodging facilities, including possible email. If you have any questions or concerns (or want dormitories, and other on-site to discuss the possibility), please contact Terri housing, as well as near-by local Orbuch. hotels. A proposal to host a 2005 mini-conference or 5. A rough budget projection and estimates of workshop should contain the following information: costs of attending the conference, including: 6. Names and contact information (addresses, a. current airfares to the site from major office and home telephone numbers, fax “gateway” cities (e.g., Montreal, numbers, email addresses) of those making Chicago, Los Angeles, London, the proposal. Sydney). 7. Major theme and/or focus of the conference. b. lodging costs for major options 8. Site of the conference, including city, state or (dormitories, hotels) province, and country. Include the actual c. projected conference registration fee physical site of the conference, such as a (which typically includes costs of particular university or conference center. meeting facilities and services, meal Also, provide a brief description of the site’s package, and social events package). ambience. We understand that this will be a 9. The planned date of the conference. rough estimate given the preliminary 10. Projected number of participants at the proposal format and deadline. conference. 11. Any possible co-sponsors of the conference ______(besides IARR), and their degree of involvement (financial, participants, etc.). 12. A description of major venues for the Invitation for 2005 Conference conference. This should include descriptions Preliminary Proposals of: meeting places, eating facilities, and lodging facilities (dormitories, local hotels). Terri Orbuch 13. Any stipends that will be provided to students and/or invited speakers. 14. A rough budget projection and estimates of he International Association for Relationship T costs of attending the conference, including: Research (IARR) would like to sponsor or co-sponsor a. current airfares from major cities. smaller regional, thematic, or graduate student b. lodging costs for major options conferences and workshops in the non-conference (dormitories, hotels) years (e.g., 2005, 2007). At this time, the Future c. projected conference registration fee Conferences Committee (FCC) invites proposals to host 2005 IARR workshops, mini-conferences, ______graduate student conferences and/or regional

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Families and Poverty Research Nestled between two lakes, and thriving on its twin foundations as Conference both the State Capitol and home of the University of Wisconsin- Madison, Madison will be the site for the 2004 IARR Conference. Call for Papers

The Family Studies Center (FSC) in the School of Plans are well underway for the 2004 IARR Family Life at Brigham Young University is Conference in Madison, Wisconsin, USA next July. sponsoring a research conference on Families and The centerpiece of the conference will be the program Poverty, March 10-12, 2004. The conference covers a of panels, posters, and round table discussions that broad range of topics including: parenting, health care organize our scholarly conversations. You can also for poor families, how family processes influence look forward to a host of activities that showcase the families experiencing economic hardship, city of Madison and commemorate the 20 years since consequences of welfare reform in the United States, relationship scholars first gathered on the shores of economic status of ethnically diverse elderly, micro- Lake Mendota. Madison provides a variety of entrepreneurship in developing countries and others. wonderful restaurants, the diversions of the State Submit a two page proposal for a paper or Street pedestrian mall, and numerous gathering spots poster to D. Russell Crane, Director of the FSC (russ- to continue the conversations sparked by the day. [email protected]) . Offers to serve as panel chairs and Plan your summer vacation around this Midwest discussants are also welcome. Submissions are due destination! November 30, 2003. More details on the conference may be found at: http://familiesandpoverty.byu.edu MADISON, WI FUN FACTS ______· Site of the first Personal Relationship THE INTERNATIONAL Conference in 1982. ASSOCIATION FOR · Original home of the Onion and its creators. RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH · Situated around four lakes with more than 18,000 acres of total lake surface in the CONFERENCE (IARRC) greater Madison area. MADISON, WISCONSIN, USA · Ranked the #1 place to live in the country (Money, 1996), the friendliest city in the JULY 22 - JULY 25, 2004 Midwest (Midwest Living, 2003), the best small city for women (Ladies Home Journal, 2002), and the most wired city in the country (The Media Audit, 2002). · Ranked #5 in Campus Scenes That Rock by Rolling Stone Magazine. · Adjacent to Mount Horeb, home of the internationally known Mustard Museum boasting the world’s largest collection of mustards (more than 3,500 varieties). · Close to America’s largest waterpark, Noah’s Ark, located in Wisconsin Dells, just North of Madison. · Home of a world class university, the University of Wisconsin-Madison, which among other top accolades, can boast that it has more alumni serving in the Peace Corps than any other college or university in the country.

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· Former stomping grounds of Frank Lloyd Wright and located within an hour of his headquarters at Taliesan. · State capitol of Wisconsin, which is first in the nation in total cheese production; its 1.3 million dairy cows produce a year’s supply of milk for nearly 42 million people, butter for 68 million, and cheese for 86 million. · And, of course, the polka is the official state dance here.

IARRC 2004 FUN FACTS

· Registration and opening festivities begin Thursday afternoon July 22. On behalf of the International Association · The Madison Concourse Hotel, adjacent to the State Capitol, will be Conference of Relationship Research, the Conference Headquarters. Organizing Committee, and the University of · Keynote speakers include Anita Vangelisti, Wisconsin – Madison, we extend an Laura Guerrero, Harry Reis, Michael invitation to you to experience cutting edge Cunningham, and Robert Milardo. research in the field of personal relationships · Friday evening, we will gather at the Monona in Madison, Wisconsin (USA) July 22 – 25, Terrace Community and Convention Center, a landmark building 60 years in the making. 2004. World class relationship scholars First designed by Wisconsin native and representing a broad range of disciplines will internationally renowned architect Frank gather at the conference to present and Lloyd Wright in 1938, Wright reworked the discuss the latest research on personal design several times before signing off on the relationships. Those who attend will find final plans seven weeks before his death in 1959. In 1992, Madison voters approved others with similar interests and will referenda to construct Monona Terrace on the participate in sessions relevant to their areas same site Wright had originally proposed, and of interest and expertise. Leading researchers the new Wright designed building opened its from around the world will come together for doors in 1997. four days of symposia, papers, posters, round · From our hotel windows on Saturday tables, interest groups, key note speakers, and morning, we will be able to see one of the largest and most colorful Farmer's Markets in networking in the unique combination of the country. natural beauty and vibrant urban culture that · We will return to UW's Memorial Union on characterizes Madison. Lake Mendota, site of the 1982 and 1984 Relationship conferences, for an Awards banquet and dance on Sunday July 25. Invited speakers will be Michael

Watch for an upcoming membership mailing with Cunningham, Laura Guerrero, Robert more information and registration materials. In the Milardo, Harry Reis, and Anita Vangelisti. meantime, visit the IARR website for further details on the IARR Conference and breaking news as it becomes available: www.iarr.org

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IARRC CALL FOR PAPERS THE INTERNATIONAL July 22 – 25, 2004 ASSOCIATION FOR Madison, Wisconsin USA

RELATIONSHIP Submission Formats RESEARCH CONFERENCE Submissions related to interpersonal relationships (broadly defined) are due December 1, 2003. 2004 Reviewers will evaluate the submissions for July 22 – 25 quality. A description of the types of Madison, Wisconsin USA submissions and the procedure for submitting is presented below:

Paper: An oral presentation (about 10-15 minutes) that investigates a topic from an The conference begins late in the afternoon empirical or theoretical perspective. of Thursday, July 22, and ends with the Symposia: A collection of presentations that Awards Banquet on Sunday, July 25. focus on a related topic, problem or theme, from an empirical and/or theoretical Program & Local Arrangements: Scott perspective. The symposium could include Christopher, Program Committee Chair, can a discussant who integrates and critiques answer your questions about the Program. the presentations. Linda Roberts or Denise Solomon, the Local Posters: A visual presentation (on a 4’ by 8’ Arrangement Co-Chairs, can address poster) illustrating research from an questions about local arrangements. empirical or theoretical perspective. Roundtables: A one-hour discussion led by one

or two speakers on specific themes or Scott: [email protected] issues. The speaker(s) could begin with a Linda: [email protected] 10-15 minute presentation that introduces Denise: [email protected] the topic and/or provide(s) materials that help define the issues. Those present will Submissions: The Program Committee have opportunities to participate. Invites Proposals for Symposia, Papers, Interest Groups: An opportunity for scholars Posters Roundtables, & Interest Groups on with common interests and questions to topics relating to interpersonal relationships. share advances with each other for the purpose of building networks.

Detailed information about the conference, Submission Requirements how to submit, and how to register (forthcoming) is available on the IARR web 1. For papers, posters, and round tables submit site (www.iarr.org). The deadline for a 1000 word summary and a 100-150 word submissions is December 1, 2003. abstract. For symposia, submit a 500-word Submission should be sent electronically to: overview, plus a 500-1000 word summary and a [email protected] . 100-150 word abstract for each paper. For interest groups, submit a proposed agenda for the meeting and a 100-150 word abstract (must be proposed by at least three individuals).

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2. Submissions must be sent electronically by Keyword Descriptions December 1, 2003 to [email protected] . In addition, please send one paper copy of your submission postmarked by December 1 to: IARR 1 Abuse 2 Accounts 3 Acquaintance 4 Affinity 5 AIDS Conference, c/o F. Scott Christopher, Department of Family & Human Development, Arizona State 6 Alcoholism 7 Appearance 8 Attachment 9 Attribution 10 Children University, Tempe, AZ, USA, 85287-2502. Commun. Commun. Commun. 11 Cognition 12 Commitment 13 14 15 Apprehension Competence Style 3. Electronic submissions must be in the form of an attachment using Word or WordPerfect (RFT 16 Competence 17 Compliance 18 Conflict 19 Conversation 20 Courtship submissions are also acceptable). The file should Decisions in be labeled with the last name of the principal 21 Cultures 22 Dating 23 Deception 24 Personal 25 Depression author or organizer. Individuals with common Relations last names should also include their initials. If 26 Deviance 27 Diaries 28 Disability 29 Dissolution 30 Divorce you submit more than one proposal, please send Embarrass 31 32 Emotions 33 Epidemiology 34 Families 35 Flirtation each in a separate email and number each -ment proposal (i.e. SmithMS1, SmithMS2). Gay/Lesbian 36 Friendship 37 38 Gender 39 Gerontology 40 Health Relations 4. Include the following information in the e- mail message in addition to the attachments: 41 Hostility 42 Idioms 43 Intimacy 44 Jealousy 45 Language 1. Name, address, e-mail address, and affiliation of principal organizer or author 46 Lifespan 47 Loneliness 48 Love 49 Kinship 50 Marriage 2. Title of paper or proposal Marital Marital Marital Relationship Mental 3. Names, affiliations, and e-mail addresses 51 52 53 54 55 Commun. Satisfaction Stability Memory Health for all other authors Nonverbal Parent-Child 4. Number of authors likely to attend the 56 Networks 57 58 Organizations 59 60 Parenthood Commun. Relationships conference Peer 5. First and second choices for format (paper, 61 Parenting 62 63 Personality 64 Persuasion 65 Power poster, symposia – individuals may not get Relationships Qualitative Quantitative their first choice due to the number of 66 Pregnancy 67 Proxemics 68 69 70 Recruitment submissions) Methods Methods Repair of Rehabilita- Relationship Retro. 6. Three numbers for keyword descriptors of 71 72 73 Religion 74 Personal 75 tion Types Report the submission (see following page). Relationships Self 76 Reticence 77 Roles 78 Rules 79 Ruminations 80 Discloser

Social Social 81 Sex 82 Shyness 83 84 Social Class 85 Anxiety Mobility

Social Social Speech 86 87 Social Skills 88 89 90 Strategies Participation Support Status

91 Stress 92 Trajectories 93 Uncertainty 94 Unpopularity 95 Other….

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IARR BOARD

COMMITTEE CHAIRS: OFFICERS: Chris Agnew (Finance Chair)

[email protected] Past President:

Robert Milardo Lisa Baker (Website Chair) [email protected] [email protected]

President: Dawn Braithwaite (Awards Chair) William Cupach [email protected] [email protected]

Scott Christopher (Program Chair) Vice President: [email protected] Terri Orbuch [email protected] Michael Cunningham (Elections Co-Chair)

[email protected] Secretary-Treasurer:

Chris Agnew Sandra Metts (Membership Chair) [email protected] [email protected]

MEMBERS AT LARGE: Terri Orbuch (Future Conferences Chair)

[email protected] Larry Kurdek

[email protected] Harry Reis (Elections Co-Chair) [email protected] Barbara Winstead [email protected] Linda Roberts (Local Conference Co-Chair, 2004) [email protected] NEW PROFESSIONAL REP RESENTATIVE: Ruth Sharabany (Mentoring Chair) Joao Moreira [email protected] [email protected] Denise Solomon (Local Conference Co-Chair, 2004) JOURNAL EDITORS: [email protected]

Mark A. Fine (JSPR, Dec. 2003) Anita Vangelisti (Publications Chair) [email protected] [email protected]

Paul Mongeau (JSPR, Jan. 2004) [email protected] ______

Susan Sprecher (PR) [email protected] IARR Members:

NEWSLETTER EDITOR: Update address, phone, and

email changes via our website:

Susan Boon [email protected] Please go to www.iarr.org and

click on “Membership”

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