$3 We See It Right, We See It Well, And We’ll Save You From Your Hell $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com March 1st, 2009 [email protected] DOWN WITH THE KINGS (FOR ONCE) Ugh, sunlight! We’re surprised you season, Toews would be staring his first 40- blue line that the Kings have really started still bought this after getting a clear look at goal season in the face. We are truly blessed to grow something. Kyle Quincey, Drew how hideous we truly are. Thanks for your to have him. Doughty, and Jack Johnson for a burgeoning charity. When Dogs Get Wings triumverate (what?) that one day soon may For all those who have been clam- To this afternoon, and the visit rival Keith, Seabrook, and...um....Keith again. oring for the Hawks to trade Khabibulin from the Los Angeles Kings, who can only be Quincey’s been the real surprise; plucked from (we’re not mentioning names, but it rhymes described as a royal (cheeky) pain in the ass Scum on waivers when they ran out of space with “Fairy Pozner”) Friday night against the for the Hawks. A couple weeks ago, when the for him (yes, they’d rather have 78-year old Pens would be Exhibit A as to why not. We Kings threw up seven wins out of eight, there Judas Chelios than this kid), he’s put up 30 mentioned this on the stats page on Friday, was a real buzz about a playoff spot. That’s assists, and looks to be a real player. and now it graduates to the front page today. been tempered a bit by losing the last four of Shut Him Down, The Ones With Cristobal Huet, for the most part, has been five. The Kings find themselves four points The Crown good to very good. It should also be men- out of the 8th seed, with five teams to leap The Hawks have struggled with the tioned that during the 2nd period against over. In Gary Bettman’s everybody-gets-a- Kings for a couple seasons now. Last year, Pittsburgh he came up with some big saves trophy world, that’s an awfully big task (Seri- they split, though one of the Hawks’ wins to keep the Hawks in it. But the Hawks would ously, who the fuck likes this system? Where shouldn’t count as they blew a four-goal third not have needed keeping in it if Huet had not does he get his numbers? Deerfield?) period lead and escaped in OT. There was let in two --arguably three -- baby-ass soft However, this team is hardly the also the 9-2 shellacking last New Year’s Day, goals. disaster that some had predicted. Part of the and two 5-2 losses this season. Partly, the We understood Q putting in Antti reason for those predictions was a goalie situ- Hawks have just not shown up against a team Niemi in the 3rd period, but it was at least five ation that was crap-tacular. Fittingly, the rea- they must think is inferior to them. Secondly, periods too late. Huet has never shown he son for the small renaissance in the new year the Kings are pretty sound defensively -- can handle a major workload. It bears repeat- is newfound steady play in that area from one more so now with better goaltending -- and ing: Huet has never played more than 50 Jonathan Quick (God knows we got enough the Hawks haven’t put in the effort to break games in a year. He’s always split time, and of it in January), and improved play from Erik them down, at least not for 60 minutes. The thrived while doing so. Niemi should have Ersberg Lettuce. Quick has been pretty stellar Kings also finish every check (known at the gotten a start against Minnesota -- where he in the last four games since a full body dry- St. Louis Plan), which we know the Hawks barely would have had anything to do -- or in heave against Atlanta, where he was pulled don’t handle too well. However, the last time Nashville, if for no other reason than to give after giving up three goals on seven shots. He these two teams met, when the Hawks finally the Hawks a spark in a game where they were stopped 39 of 41 Scum shots on Friday night, got going in the last 30 min., the Kings were clearly road weary. The Amazing Cristobal so expect to see him today. mauled. L.A. has also had a problem putting a just can’t perform after two or three starts The Kings have some impressive, full 60 minutes together. If the Hawks do so, in a row, which makes us awfully urpy about young talent up front --Dustin Brown and we’ll have two more points. turning over a playoff run to him (Granted, a Anze Kopitar most notably. But it’s along the playoff schedule is different -- far less travel, -Gov. Bobby Jindal no back-to-back games, and each team is on the same travel schedule). Good thing the Hawks are paying him so much, then. City Slick Captain On the opposite end of the spec- trum, Jonathan Toews put on a tour de force on Friday. In fact, he’s been doing that for the better part of six weeks. It was more than just his hat-trick (should have been four). As frequent contributor Matt McClure said, “If you played a drinking game where you had to take a drink every time Toews emerges from a battle on the boards or the defensive zone with the puck, you’d be bathing in your own vomit by the second period.” Captain Marvel was simply EVERY- WHERE against Pittsburgh. Starting plays, finishing them, keeping them going. Some were worried that the Hawks actually might not have a #1 center, instead of being short a #2. Toews has quite simply put that to rest the past few weeks, and with authority. Without his 12-game goal drought to start the “You know Cris, some men can go more than twice in a row!!” FROM THE EDITOR The following is an actual email I sent to Tom O’Grady, Executive Pro- and ponder my emotions. ducer of Gameday Presentation. There are plenty of examples of good goal-songs around the Dear Mr. O’Grady, league. The Rangers use an original composition that provides a sing-along Good day, sir. My name is Sam Fels, and I am one-half of the part, which I think is what you were going for. But theirs contains power Blackhawks Blog Second City Hockey (Ed. note- I didn’t want to mention I chords and drips with spunk. Yours drips with poodle turds. write this for fear that the Hawks organization may want to If you don’t want to go that route, you could copy some “kick it old school” and make my life a living hell outside other teams. Both Philly and Anaheim use Pennywise’s the UC). I am writing to you today because I feel I have a “Bro Hymn,” which also has a sing-along chorus-thing. pretty good feel for the pulse of Hawks fans, and there’s an That’s not bad, but we’d like to be original. So we have issue which is grating on all of us. I feel it is my duty as a some suggestions. spokesman for Hawks fans everywhere to communicate to Personally, I would love to use Pantera’s “Walk”. I you our feelings. understand if you think this might scare mothers; heaven It’s our goal song, Mr. O’Grady. Frankly, it sucks. forbid their kid listens to anything dangerous, i.e fun. But I’m sorry to use such a coarse term, but there simply is no you could still be dorky, as you are now, if you changed other way around it. Believe me, I’ve heard it described in the chorus to “Re’...spect! Hawks!” much worse tones, including some that made children cry. If you want to go really underground, frequent contribu- But making more children cry is the goal song. tor Matt McClure is clamoring for you to use Naked Ray- I’m not sure what you were going for here. Sam Fels gun’s “Soldier’s Requiem.” They’re even a Chicago band. Happy? Okay, I guess. But this is happy in the way that But we understand if you would like to go with something guy in your office who’s always cheerful. Do you know what people want a little more user-friendly, and well known. How about “Pump It Up,” to do to that guy? Pull out his esophagus. Nobody likes the stupidly-happy either Elvis Costello’s or the Mudhoney cover? “Search and Destroy” by guy. And that’s what the Fratellis’ song you’ve chosen is. the Stooges? These are perfect. A goal-song should be loud, jarring, raucous, euphoric. After all, Or you know what, Mr. O’Grady? You don’t even need a goal this is celebrating a moment that only happens a few times a night. A goal song. Most fans have expressed a desire for Frank Pelico to just play Here is an event, a jarring event. The song you’ve chosen isn’t loud, or contain Come the Hawks, or whatever he feels. We don’t need a song to make any attitude whatsoever. This is hockey; it’s all attitude.