See Page 4 See Page 9

See Page 27 $1.00 WWW.5TJT.COM VOL. 11 NO. 32 25 NISSAN 5771 ohause ,arp APRIL 29, 2011

INSIDE AFTER PASSOVER, THE CHALLAH IS THE KEY FROM THE EDITOR Black Like Us Rabbi Avi Shafran 36 B Y LARRY GORDON Pizza Delivery The Next Rabbi Meir Orlian 51 Big Crisis Worth The Wait David J. Seidemann, Esq. 60 The next new big crisis for Do Things Faster Israel and her supporters in the Mordechai Schmutter 73 worldwide Jewish community is really nothing new at all. In Sleeping On The Job fact, the new crisis, which is the Yochanan Gordon 76 matter of Palestinian statehood in whatever form the imagina- tion can fathom, is in reality the same old challenge. The real concern here is not Suri Davis, an attorney in the Five Towns and proprietor of TheFiveTowns.com, displaying her “Shlissel Challahs,” a popular tradition of baking key-shaped challah following Pesach. See Page 77 Continued on Page 9

HOW KIDS RELATE TO THE AFTERLIFE HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE BY DR. BERNIE KASTNER tics among us who will wonder Meet Congressman Meeks whether an adult made up some Children will, as a general fantasy story about reincarna- BY LARRY GORDON rule, be brutally honest. They tion or their encounter with the Beth Sholom Hat Show, tell it like it is, ask good ques- afterlife, the literature tells us The town-hall meetings May 17. See Page 52 tions, and demand their instant that the same could not be said scheduled to take place in the gratification. Children as young of children who have had simi- White Shul in Far Rockaway as three or four years who either lar encounters. with longtime congressman had a near-death experience or One illustration of this comes Gregory Meeks over the last few spontaneously reported details from the vast research done months have been canceled of their previous incarnation with children by Dr. Ian twice. Members of the Far have reported amazingly Stevenson: K, a girl in India, was Rockaway Jewish Alliance were detailed accounts of what they saw. While there may be skep- Continued on Page 16 Continued on Page 13 Legacies Of Courage U.S. Senators ALIYAH Praise PA ARBITRAGE Jorge and Moshe team up to help those with autism. Police Halachic Musings See Page 23 BY SAMUEL SOKOL BY RABBI YAIR HOFFMAN MIDDLE EAST CORRESPONDENT The events recounted below A bipartisan Congressional are real. The names, however, delegation led by Senator have been changed: Lindsey Graham (R-SC) arrived It was bound to happen even- in the Mideast this week to dis- tually. Willy Englard, grandfather of TAG student Shulamith Twersky, with his wife Paulette and their grandson. Twersky’s essay on his experience, cuss ways to jumpstart the With the penchant of Jews to written in observance of Holocaust Remembrance Day, will be recognized for its excellence at next week’s Emunah event. See Page 48 Continued on Page 24 Continued on Page 26

Supporting Ezer Mizion. See Page 42

CANDLE LIGHTING April 29 – 7:30 PM May 6 – 7:37 PM 2 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 3 4 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 5 6 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 7 8 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

FROM THE EDITOR tion that there is no real objective to fos- whose very democratic existence is Continued from Front Cover tering a definitive peace between Israel brought into question by a majority of and the Palestinian people living in her countries in the world. how or when the UN member states will midst. The talk over the last two decades Kofi Anan, a former Secretary-General P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 mobilize to attempt to further hurt the of “peaceful coexistence” and “two states of the UN, stated his hypothesis on more 516-984-0079 State of Israel and bring into question the living side by side in peace” has proven to than one occasion that it was difficult to [email protected] legitimacy of her existence, but why be little more than diplomatic bluster fathom how, when it came to Israel and [email protected] Israel allows itself to be subjected to the without any foundation or root in reali- her existence, the overwhelming majori- LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON UN’s hateful whims. ty. It has to be clear to most observers ty of the 192 member countries of the UN Publisher/Editor Managing Editor If we are not aware of it by now, then that the prime goal is to isolate the YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON we are simply incapable of the realiza- Jewish State and turn her into a pariah Continued on Page 11 Sales Managers CHANA ROCHEL ROSS Editorial Assistant SIDI BARON DAVID FOX DOV GORDON YAKOV SERLE Sales Representatives SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Hannah Reich Berman, Anessa V. Cohen Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, Yoni Glatt Toby Klein Greenwald, Rabbi Yair Hoffman Ron Jager, Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky Shmuel Katz, Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann Rochelle Miller, Rabbi Meir Orlian, Elke Probkevitz Dr. Rachael Schindler, Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow David J. Seidemann, Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier Rabbi Avi Shafran, Eli Shapiro, Dr. Ari Sher Samuel Sokol ELISHEVA ELEFANT Staff Graphic Artist IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS Staff Photographers FRANKEL & CO. Design & Production TALIYE CORLEY Art Director

The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly news- paper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 9 10 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

FROM THE EDITOR matters at hand. Continued from Page 9 The strategy on the Arab side today is not in the best interests of their people were wrong and that Israel and her few and it’s doubtful whether that was ever scattered supporters were right. a serious consideration in the process. It is, however, to be understood and The main goal today is the delegitimiza- even accepted that Israel’s existence tion of Israel. The Palestinian hope is to will always be called into question by bring Israel to her knees, isolate her, and this combination of despot-led coun- perhaps even have the world communi- tries and banana republics that inex- ty impose sanctions on the Jewish

The race is on between President Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu to present to the world their visions of a peace plan.

plicably harbor an innate anti-Jewish State—not dissimilar to the attempts and anti-Israel agenda. Most of them being made today to isolate terrorist could not explain it themselves nor states like Iran and Libya. trace its origins. The next battle in this war against Today, even though Israel and the Israel is planned for September, and the Palestinian Authority have some form of forum for it is the General Assembly at an advanced relationship, the backward the UN. The Arab hope is to maneuver momentum of the on-again, off-again the world body to sidestep the Security (presently “off”) negotiations process Council and have the GA declare and cannot simply be attributed to an recognize Palestine within the borders impasse in talks or even to the so-called of another sovereign state—Israel’s. continued development of settlements The race is on between President as an obstacle to what were not so long ago regularly scheduled meetings on the Continued on Page 12

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 11 FROM THE EDITOR FEATURES Continued from Page 11 Around The Five Towns 41 Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu to present to the world their visions of a Classified Ads 66 peace plan to save Israel from the dam- age the UN may be able to inflict in the Business Halacha fall. This brand of casual extremism Rabbi Meir Orlian 51 dressed in suits and ties should be dealt with by the Jewish State temporarily A Clever Title Goes Here withdrawing itself as a member of the Mordechai Schmutter 73 UN. She should do so until such time as the international community—led by Daf Yomi Insights the United States—comes to grips with Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow 56 the reality of today’s Middle East. PA president Mahmoud Abbas, at 76 The Dish years of age, is constantly threatening to Elke Probkevitz 37 quit his post, with no real successor being Insights On The Torah groomed for the future. Still, it is the posi- tion of the U.S., led by Mr. Obama and Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Sacks 20 Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, that a R’ Ben Tzion Shafier 22 peace deal with Abbas may be the last Luach chance for a long time to forge any kind Calendar 16 of a peace deal. Haven’t we learned anything at all Middle East News from what just happened with Egypt Samuel Sokol 57 and the result of a peace treaty with one man—in that case, Hosni Mubarak—as MindBiz opposed to a peace between the people Esther Mann, LCSW 33 of Israel and the people of Egypt? Amazingly, and despite the vicious and Mother’s Musings violent suppression of Syrians by dicta- Phyllis J. Lubin 35 tor Bashar al Assad, it was only a month ago that the U.S. wanted to restart talks News From The Hills between the Syrians and the Israelis in Chanita Teitz 63 the hope of luring Mr. Assad away from his close friendship with the lunatic Other Side Of The Bench leader in Iran. Look what happened to David J. Seidemann, Esq. 60 that not-so-well-hatched plan. Puzzle Just as amazingly, it was reported that two months prior to U.S. jets trying to Yoni Glatt 70 kill, or let’s just say dislodge, Muammar Real Estate Gaddafi from power in Libya, the State Anessa V. Cohen 29 Department recommended a multimil- lion-dollar increase in funding for the That’s The Way It Is! Gaddafi-directed Libyan military. This is Hannah Reich Berman 30 not American foreign policy thinking as presented on Comedy Central, though it Tidbits From Israel could very well be. Ron Jager 38 Mr. Obama’s plan for peace between Israel and the Palestinians will be pre- sented over the next few weeks and will include a number of impossible dreams put forward despite the multiple confla- grations in a rather unstable Arab world. For the next issue, Obama will call for Jerusalem to be a deadline shared capital city of both Israel and the future Palestine. He will call for Israel’s for reserving withdrawal from over 95 percent of Judea and Samaria, accompanied by an ad space is inane recommendation that over 300,000 Israelis be evicted from their Monday, homes and resettled elsewhere. May 2 Believe it or not, that forthcoming Obama plan, more than any other plan at 5:00 P.M. put forward by other presidents, is most like the plan hatched by President Ronald Reagan in 1982. In the masterpiece of a book, The Prime All graphics for ads Ministers, by Ambassador Yehuda must be in by Avner, the Reagan plan was presented in blindsiding fashion to then Prime Tuesday, Minister Menachem Begin. At the time, the president instructed May 3 the U.S. Ambassador to Israel, Sam Lewis, to present a peace plan to Begin at 5:00 P.M. that was hatched by the U.S. without consultation with Israel. Instead of con- ferring with their most reliable ally in Call the Middle East, the Reagan State Department created the “peace plan” in 516-984-0079 concert with King Hussein of Jordan

Continued on Page 17 12 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES BAGEL STORE his personal finances that have been con- Continued from Front Cover sistently featured in the Daily News and other papers so that they would not dis- just as baffled as everyone else as to why tract us from focusing on pressing issues these encounters simply could not seem that impact our country and the Jewish to take place. community in particular. Was it the fact that the Jewish popula- “Israel is our strongest ally and best tion in the 6th District of New York is partner in the Middle East,” the congress- rather minuscule, combined with the man says emphatically. On the friction congressman’s close relationship with an that many say exists between President increasingly unpopular president? Or per- Obama and Israel’s prime minister, haps it was just as his staff had indicated, Benjamin Netanyahu, Meeks says that he an event difficult to schedule because of prefers to see the glass as half full and the demands on the representative’s time remain focused on all the good things back in Washington. that are an essential part of the U.S.–Israel In any event, a few days prior to relationship.

He believes that those earning more than $800,000 annually “would be glad to pay the increased taxes” if it would improve the economic climate in the country.

Passover, I was finally able to sit down About the uprisings and almost daily with the congressman face-to-face in an rioting taking place in many Arab coun- extended and wide-ranging discussion of tries, Congressman Meeks says that his role in Washington and the issues of “these are mostly young people behind interest to the Jewish community here in these demonstrations and they just do his district. The congressman was forth- not like the future they are seeing and right and personable as we discussed a anticipating for themselves and their broad variety of issues, including the families.” He added that, in his estima- U.S.–Israel relationship, our rocky econo- tion, people who are striving for democ- my, and his close relationship with President Obama. We set aside issues of Continued on Page 14

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 13 BAGEL STORE exist.” Asked whether he believes that Continued from Page 13 President Obama has applied too much pressure or placed the onus of the peace racy should be able to have their voices process on Israeli actions, Meeks heard and they should be heard in places responded that Congressmen Howard like Libya and Syria. Berman and Gary Ackerman, who are Congressman Meeks’s district encom- often identified as pro-Israel legislators, passes Far Rockaway and other adjacent have been very supportive of the presi- communities. The congressman serves dent’s Middle East policies. as a member of the House Foreign Meeks says that he has been to Relations Committee as well as the Israel—albeit almost a decade ago—to House Finance Committee. In both view the situation from a firsthand per- those capacities, Mr. Meeks weighed in spective. He says that he was there in on his positions on America’s foreign 2002 at the height of the intifada and relations as well as the economic chal- that there was a terrorist attack that lenges facing the country today. resulted in the murder of several Israelis. On the matter of Jonathan Pollard, now “I was in a meeting with Mahmoud serving his 26th year in prison, Abbas and I observed how he pressured Congressman Meeks says that he believes then PLO leader Yasser Arafat to investi- that the time for Pollard’s release from gate and bring the perpetrators to jus- incarceration is long past and that he has tice.” Meeks says that he came away signed on to a letter—as many other offi- from that trip impressed with Abbas’s cials have—urging President Obama to commitment to peace with Israel. release Pollard. Asked why he thought the The congressman acknowledged that president was so silent on Pollard despite it has indeed been a while, and I shared a multitude of pleas from elected as well with him some things that have changed as many other former high-ranking offi- on the ground in Israel and how impor- cials, Meeks retorted that President Bush tant it is for someone in his position to was also silent on the Pollard issue and embark on another one of those Middle certainly could have commuted his sen- East fact-finding missions. I further sug- tence before his second term ended in gested that it is important for him to 2008. The congressman seemed to indi- implore Mr. Obama to visit again—out of cate that if we can figure out why Mr. the context of a campaign swing—and to Bush did not move to release Pollard, then additionally make it his business to visit perhaps we can figure out how it is that what is commonly referred to as the West Mr. Obama has been silent on the issue. Bank to see up close the unobtrusive On the on-again, off-again peace nego- fashion in which the two peoples—Jews tiations between Israel and the and Palestinians—really live. Palestinian Authority, the congressman Mr. Meeks confirmed that any agree- says that “Arab countries must come to ment between the parties in the region the realization that Israel has a right to must be reached as a result of negotia-

14 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES tions and that no one—not the U.S. or the the wealth in the country, Meeks says UN—will be successful in any attempt to that his economic philosophy differs in impose a settlement. He said that the one dramatic way from that of the pres- conditions that Israelis, particularly in ident. He says that he believes the tax the southern portion of the country, live rate should be increased for those with with is untenable and that the first order incomes of greater than $800,000 a year. of any process is that the violence must While the president believes that the stop. On the issue of revisiting Israel and best approach is a tax increase on the region, he said that he would very Americans earning more than $250,000 much like to do that. annually, Meeks points out that this From his vantage point in Washington, amount may seem like wealth to a great Representative Meeks says he believes many Americans but in the major cities things are looking up. To that end, he in New York, California, Florida, and plans to put his energies behind Illinois, it’s more representative of a President Obama’s reelection bid and middle-class lifestyle. feels that many of the president’s policies Meeks stated further on the subject and initiatives have served as a catalyst to that he believes that those earning more turn things around in the country. than $800,000 annually “would be glad “Of course Obama deserves to be to pay the increased taxes” if it would reelected,” Meeks said. He referenced the improve the economic climate in the fact that U.S. troops are no longer active- country. Of course, many of his con- ly involved in combat in Iraq and that the stituents in this readership community economy in the country is on the do not see things exactly the same way upswing, with the unemployment rate as Mr. Meeks does. The important factor dropping and the mood in the country for him, however, is that he can manage significantly improving. to win reelection resoundingly and by As to the Republican call for severe extraordinary margins regardless of budget cuts in the direction of someday what type of opponent is set up to run balancing the U.S. budget, Meeks says against him. that cuts should indeed take place, but While the Jewish population is a they should occur in a more balanced small dimension of the congressman’s fashion. “We cannot balance the budget overall district, our community’s rela- only on domestic spending or on the tionship with him, as with other mem- backs exclusively of the poor or the work- bers of Congress, adds additional impor- ing class,” he said. Nor does the congress- tance to the equation, if for no other man believe that foreign aid should be reason than to help shape and focus cut, citing the fact that the total foreign- America’s policy toward Israel, particu- aid allocation of the U.S. accounts for less larly at this critical juncture. O than 1 percent of the budget. Sounding a theme along the lines of Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at Mr. Obama’s call for redistribution of [email protected]

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 15 Kids And Afterlife previous personality that K was describ- with discussing angels, heavenly images, to after we finish our lives here. Continued from Front Cover ing. He found that a woman had died five and G-d’s house. Physically healthy chil- There are numerous documented sto- years before K was born whose life dren will bring up the subject of death ries of children who have described their from a small village, but when she was matched all of the details listed above. and dying without batting an eyelash. travels in the afterlife. One such story is three years old, she began saying that she There are, no doubt, many children They will take an interest in another child of a three-year-old boy named Brian who had previously lived in a city of 200,000 who express an assortment of fears to who is sick, often wanting to know the was crushed under a garage door in a people that was 25 miles away. She freak accident. He was unconscious for a named the district of the city where she few long minutes, was revived, and then, said she had lived, but her family did not over the course of a number of weeks, know anyone from that district. had a miraculous recovery. K made numerous statements, and A woman had died five years Several months after his recovery, he her aunt wrote down many of them. told his parents of seeing “birdies” help- Some of her notes were lost, but before K was born whose life ing him while pinned under the garage. Stevenson was able to get a copy of 18 of One of them came to his mother to tell K’s statements that her aunt had record- her that he was caught under the garage. ed. The detail in these statements matched all of the details Another came to tell her that the baby included her son’s name in the life she (Brian) would be all right. “You came out was describing and the fact that he and opened the garage door and ran to worked with a hammer; her grandson’s listed above. the baby. You told the baby to stay and name; the town where her father had not leave.” The mother, upon hearing lived; and personal details, such as hav- this, nearly collapsed, for she had ing an iron safe at home, a sword hang- indeed gone and knelt beside Brian’s ing near the cot where she slept, and a their parents, such as being afraid of the details of the illness and what is being body and, seeing his crushed chest, pet snake that she fed milk to. dark, afraid of strangers, afraid of being done about it. Many are downright non- whispered, “Don’t leave us, Brian; please K’s father talked to a friend who had alone in a room, afraid of dentists, etc. chalant when it comes to their own mor- stay if you can.” an employee from the district that K had When it comes to the subject of the after- tality. There seems to be an acceptance As she listened to Brian telling her the mentioned. The employee went there to life, however, I have found that most chil- among children that, somewhere out words she had spoken, she realized that search for the deceased individual, the dren do not shy away from it. They are OK there, another world exists where we go the spirit had left his body and was look- ing down from above on this little lifeless form. Brian went on to say that the beau-

Continued on Page 18 CALENDAR LUACH April 29–May 7 ZIP Code: 11516

25 Nissan Friday, April 29 Daf yomi: Menachos 51 Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/tefillin: 4:58 am Sunrise: 5:57 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:48 am Gr’a 9:24 am P’lag ha’minchah: 6:21 pm Candle Lighting: 7:30 pm 26 Nissan – Shabbos Saturday, April 30 Parashas Kedoshim Blessing of Chodesh Iyar Avos: Ch. 1 Shabbos ends**: 8:34 pm 72 min. 9:02 pm 30 Nissan – 1 Iyar Wednesday–Thursday, May 4–5 Rosh Chodesh Iyar 2 Iyar Friday, May 6 Daf yomi: Menachos 58 Earliest tallis/tefillin: 4:48 am Sunrise: 5:48 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:43 am Gr’a 9:19 am P’lag ha’minchah: 6:27 pm Candle Lighting: 7:37 pm 3 Iyar – Shabbos Saturday, May 7 Parashas Emore Avos: Ch. 2 Shabbos ends**: 8:43 pm 72 min. 9:09 pm * All times from MyZmanim.com ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos according to your minhag 16 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES FROM THE EDITOR Continued from Page 12 and the Saudi royal family. Begin was astounded and asked Lewis how it was possi- ble that Reagan chose to confer with Israel’s avowed enemies in Saudi Arabia on a plan that would require that the State of Israel make the largest sacrifice of any of the countries poten- tially involved. To add insult to injury, Avner recounts that Lewis informed Begin that Reagan planned to release the plan in an address to the American people within 72 hours of their meeting. Begin beseeched Lewis to ask the president to give Israel a few more days to formulate their input to the plan. Reagan flatly refused. In a letter to Reagan delivered to the presi- dent by Lewis, Begin informed the president that considering the circumstances, Israel would not respond to the pro- posals and would not take part in the negotiations as designed by the Reagan plan. A short time later, when asked about the plan devised by President Reagan on one of the major U.S. television networks, Begin said that “the Reagan plan is a proposal that has been config- ured by a man who has his feet firmly planted in the air.” It was classic Begin. The plan, like so many that followed it, was a nonstarter. Almost 30 years later, President Obama is about to present very much the same proposal as Reagan did back then. Now with Fatah and Hamas reconciling (as if there ever was a difference between them) there is just one more complication. This time, the threat of the unilat- eral declaration by the UN General Assembly of the cre- ation of Palestine is being held over Israel’s head. The objective is the same as usual. It’s only the tactics that are slightly different. O

Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at [email protected].

Turn not to idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods (Vayikra 19:4) At first, they will be just “idols”; but if you turn to them, you will end up making them “gods.” (Rashi)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 17 Kids And Afterlife Continued from Page 16 tiful birdies took him very far away but told him that he had to go back to his home and tell everyone about the birdies and how they help us all the time. Notwithstanding examples such as these, there is a debate among physicians, nurses, social workers, and mental-health personnel as to how the seriously ill child relates to matters of life and death. Sadly, too many providers of care that I have spoken to oppose bringing up the subject of the afterlife with the family of a sick child or with the child directly. They claim that the focus must be on giving hope and inspiration, shielding aspects of the truth from the child, and doing what they can to keep the child happy. While I have no problem with their stated intent, nonetheless I believe that these children aren’t dummies and they know what is going on. During this past chol ha’moed, we had a family over whose ten-year-old child said to me that all of his friends know about famous stories of kids who had near-death experiences. He was surprised I asked him how he knew about this stuff. And that, then, begs the question: isn’t it true that a seriously ill nine-year-old child will think about his own mortality at some point while lying awake in bed, or otherwise while alone with his or her own thoughts? With whom will he speak about whatever fears he may have? Who will have prepared answers that will sat- isfy this child? Are these children as read- ily accepting of the afterlife as a given as their healthy counterparts? Are they OK with that, or would discussing that sub- ject make things worse? It is natural for parents and the med- ical staff to screen information that they feel may not be in the best interests of the child to know. Moreover, it is a parental right to deal with his own child as he deems fit. Should the medical staff, in kind, take the lead from the parent, or should they be more proactive in raising the issue when the right opportunity comes along? As far as I know, there is no definitive data surrounding the question of whether a book, a story, or a discussion of the afterlife would engender a positive or negative attitude in the child’s outlook on end-of-life-type prognoses. I can under- stand how those in the trenches may shy away from super-sensitive issues that may have a negative impact on the trust between provider of care and patient. But let us not kid ourselves—empirical evidence shows that most children who are seriously ill do think about dying. They often come straight out and ask their doc- tor: “Am I going to die?” How should the doctor respond to such a question? Should he say that the child has six months left? That we are all doing our best to make him feel better? That other kids with the same condition have recovered? Likewise, should the physician shield the truth from the child if the prognosis, in the overwhelming majority of the cases, has been terminal? These are very difficult issues that are grappled with every day. I would like to believe that, somewhere in between the questions and answers, there would be a place for an open discussion of the after- life. Certainly if the topic is initiated by the child, one of the adults, whether it be 18 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES a parent, other family member, or profes- s”xc sional, should take advantage of the spe- cial opportunity that a discussion of this kind could have. Kids are resilient and want to know the truth. They very quickly pick up when a parent is hiding something. When chil- dren catch a parent who is not being up- front with them, they begin to lose trust. I believe that the risk of losing that pre- cious trust looms large in comparison to the risk of upsetting the child by initiat- ing a discussion on the afterlife. Those who find themselves in such a situation, where they are unsure about what to say, should consult with an appropriate individual for spiritual guid- ance or with an experienced mental- health professional. O

Dr. Bernie Kastner is a psychotherapist in private practice with offices in Jerusalem and Ramat Bet Shemesh. Feel free to visit his website at www.drbkastner.com. He can be reached at [email protected].

Love your fellow as yourself (Vayikra 19:18) Our sages have said:“Do not judge your fellow until you have stood in his place” (Avos 2:4). Since the only person in whose place you can truly stand is yourself, this means that you are qualified to judge only yourself. Regarding yourself, you must condemn your moral and spir- itual failings and be critical of your every achievement. Regarding your fellow, howev- er, you must employ a double standard: your love and esteem toward him should be amplified by every positive quality you see in him, and should not to be affected in the least by any seemingly negative things you might observe.

(Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi) When I was four years old, I asked my father:“Why did G-d make people with two eyes? Why not with one eye, just as we have been given a single nose and a single mouth?” Said father:“There are things upon which one must look with a right eye, with affection and empathy; and there are things upon which one must look with a left eye—severely and critically. On one’s fellow man, one should look with a right eye; on oneself, one should look with a left eye.”

(Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch) 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 19 and forbidden action to exist. The fourth cloak of anonymity as he traveled year stands for the dimension of atzilut— through the towns and villages of the “emanation”—where everything is in a Carpathians. It was one of his holy prac- state of holiness, and nothing is separat- tices to ask every Jew he met—man and ed from G-d. Therefore its fruit is called woman, the aged and the children—how “holy, for giving praise to the L-rd.” But they were, how business was, and so on. the fifth is the highest level, called One of his greatest pleasures was to listen keser—the “crown.” The fruit of the fifth to the answers that each of them would year is correspondingly the most pre- give—answers that came from the heart. From The Chassidic Masters cious, as we saw when we understood For they would reply with words of that the entire purpose of the command- praise and thanks to G-d. Every answer ments of the first four years was for the would contain a “Thank G-d” or a “The Beyond Holiness sake of the fifth. L-rd be blessed.” Why then do we find the fruit of the Once he reached a small township and fourth year called “holy?” Why is it to be began in his normal way to inquire after In the famous 19th chapter of Vayikra, of your obedience) the land will give you eaten only in Jerusalem, and only by a the welfare of the Jews he met, to get which is a summary of many essential produce in larger quantities.” person who is not ritually unclean? Why them to say words of praise and gratitude principles of the Torah, the laws about We can, however, understand the pas- do none of these things apply to the fifth- to G-d, to demonstrate their faith and fruit trees are stated. The produce of the sage at a deeper level. The five years of year produce, which may be eaten any- merit. In the town there was a very old first three years of the tree’s life (orlah) is fruit correspond to the five “universes,” or where, by anyone? man, a great scholar, who lived in isola- forbidden. The fourth year’s produce dimensions of spirituality. The first three, tion from the affairs of the world. For (neta revai) is set aside as holy, and is to more than 50 years he had sat and stud- be eaten in Jerusalem or redeemed. But ied Torah day and night, detached and the fruit of the fifth year may be eaten in holy. He would sit and learn every day, the ordinary manner: “And in the fifth “The Jewish people are sustained by the wrapped in his tallis and tefillin until the year you may eat its fruit that it may afternoon service, and would not eat any- increase its crop for you: I am the L-rd livelihood which G-d provides for them. But thing all day, until he had said the your G-d” (19:25). evening prayers, when he would have a The phrase which the Torah uses, “that what sustains G-d, that He may continue, as it little bread and water. it may increase its crop for you,” indicates When the Baal Shem Tov entered his that the purpose of the commandments study, a room in one of the corners of the about the first four years’ fruit is so that were, to ‘inhabit’ the world?” synagogue, he asked the old man about the fifth year should see a particularly his health and his welfare, but the man prolific crop. did not look up at the Baal Shem Tov, Rashi offers a straightforward explana- who was dressed in the clothes of a peas- tion, quoting the Midrash: Rabbi Akiva which are forbidden for consumption, The Baal Shem Tov And The Sage ant. He repeated his question several used to say, “The Torah says this because stand for the three lower levels (asiyah, To understand this, we must begin times, until the sage became angry and it has man’s evil inclination in mind: that yetzirah, and beriah—the dimensions of with a story told about the Baal Shem gestured that he should leave the room. one should not say, ‘Behold, for four years “action,” “formation,” and “Creation”), Tov. It was at a time when he had not yet The Baal Shem Tov said: “Rabbi, why, as it I must take trouble with it for nothing.’ where there is a sufficient concealment emerged publicly as the leader of the were, do you not give G-d his livelihood?” The Torah therefore states that (because of G-d for the possibility of sin, division, Chassidic movement. He still wore the When he heard this, the old man was

20 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES completely confused. A peasant was causes G-d to “inhabit” the world, the Baal this praise, his learning was defective. In to “inhabit” the world as His dwelling standing in front of him and talking Shem Tov could surely have tried to elicit the words of the Talmud, “Anyone who place, thus bringing the entire creation to about G-d and the need to provide Him words of thanksgiving from the sage for says, ‘I have nothing but (the study of) its true fulfillment. O with a living! being allowed by G-d to study in serenity Torah,’ even Torah is denied to him.” The Baal Shem Tov read his thoughts and seclusion. Why did he need to ask From Torah Studies (Kehot 1986), an adaptation and said, “The Jewish people are sus- him about matters of physical concern, Fruit And Thanksgiving of the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s talks by Britain’s Chief Rabbi, Dr. Jonathan Sacks. Courtesy of tained by the livelihood which G-d pro- like his health? In light of this story, we can see why Chabad.org. Find more Torah articles for the vides for them. But what sustains G-d, The answer is that the whole purpose the most precious fruit is not that of the whole family at www.chabad.org/parshah. that He may continue, as it were, to of creation was to make for G-d a fourth year—even though it is called ‘inhabit’ the world? This is what David “dwelling place in the lower world” “holy” (i.e., set aside, withdrawn) and it is HaMelech meant when he wrote in (Midrash Tanchuma, Naso 16). This world to be eaten only within the walls of Tehillim 22, ‘You are Holy, who inhabits was to be transformed into a habitation Jerusalem; and why it is the fifth year WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? the praises of Israel.’ ‘You’—that is, the for G-d. fruit, which could be eaten anywhere and Master of the Universe, ‘are Holy’—that How is this dwelling place built? Not, by anyone. E-MAIL US AT is, You are apart from the world. What primarily, through learning or through When a Jew recognizes that even fruit then is Your livelihood, that you are able thanks to G-d for the opportunity to which is not “holy” depends on the bless- [email protected] to ‘inhabit’ it? It is ‘the praises of Israel.’ learn. Study involves the “G-dly soul” of ing of G-d; when he sees with his own OR UPLOAD G-d is sustained by the praise and the the Jew, the highest part of his nature. But eyes that the land “may increase its crop gratitude to which the Jews give voice, for thanksgiving for food, for money, for for you” because of G-d; and when he YOUR COMMENTS AT their health and their sustenance with health—these involve a sanctification of offers praises for these things, then he which He provides them. And because of the body, of natural desires and physical brings the “You,” the essence of G-d, www.5tjt.com these praises, He gives them children, needs. When a Jew recognizes even these which is “holy” and beyond all finitude, health, and food, in plenty.” as the gift of G-d, then he has truly admit- ted G-d into the “lower world.” The Dwelling Place That is why when the Baal Shem Tov The Baal Shem Tov’s remark is not easy saw the sage, sitting in seclusion, disen- to understand. It is true that the G-d of gaged from the world, unconcerned with whom we say “You are Holy” (that is tran- the state of his body, and eating only to scending the world) is brought to “inhab- survive, not to sanctify the physical, he it” the world only by the service of the said: “Why, as it were, do you not give G-d Jewish people. But surely learning Torah His livelihood?” For the Divine intention is part of that service! Surely it brings the was to have a dwelling place precisely in presence of G-d into the world! And, the the lower world that the sage had forsak- old sage had studied Torah day and night en. And this is why he said that G-d is for more than 50 years. Even at the very made to “inhabit” the world “by the moment when the Baal Shem Tov spoke praise and the gratitude to which the to him, he was preoccupied with study. Jews give voice, for their health and their How, then, could he have said: “Why, as it sustenance with which He provides were, do you not give G-d His livelihood?” them.” This justified his interrupting him And even if it is the “praises of Israel” even in the middle of learning, which is and not the sound of their studies that the greatest of the mitzvos. For without

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 21 my cabin. I paid for it, and I can do what member of my team transgressed, and I I want here.” could have stopped it from happening. If “No, you can’t! If you cut a hole in your I did all that I could have to help him side, the entire boat will go down.” grow and shield him from falling, I have The nimshal is that the Jewish people met my obligation and will not be pun- is one entity. For a Jew to say, “What I do ished. If, however, I could have been is my business and doesn’t affect anyone more concerned for his betterment and else,” is categorically false. My actions more involved in helping to protect him Rebuke: The Malpractice affect you, and your actions affect me— from harm and didn’t, then I am held we are one unit. It is as if I have co-signed accountable for his sin. on your loan. If you default on your pay- Don’t rebuke others—it doesn’t work. Of A Mitzvah ments, the bank will come after me. I This perspective is central to understand- didn’t borrow the money—but I am ing why rebuke doesn’t work. “You shall not hate your brother in your sound coming from the cabin next to his. responsible. So too, when we accepted When Reuvain goes over to Shimon heart; you shall reprove your fellow and do As the noise continues, he becomes more the Torah together on Har Sinai, we and “gives it to him good,” really shows not bear a sin because of him.” and more curious, until finally, he knocks became one unit, functioning as one just what he did wrong, the only thing —Vayikra 19:17 on his neighbor’s door. When the door people. If you default on your obliga- accomplished is that now Shimon Why should I be punished for your sin? hates Reuvain. When the Torah mentions the obligation To properly fulfill the mitzvah of to rebuke a fellow Jew, it ends with the tochachah, there are two absolute words, “and do not carry a sin because of requirements. The first is in regards to him.” The Targum translates this as, “and If Reuvain ate a ham sandwich, attitude, and the second relates to do not receive a punishment for his sin.” method. According to the Targum, it appears What is my intention? When I go over that if Reuvain ate a ham sandwich and I why should I be punished for to my friend to chastise him, the first didn’t rebuke him, I would be punished question I must ask myself is, “What is for his sin. This seems difficult to under- his sin? my intention?” stand. Why should I be punished for his If my intention is to set him straight sin? At most, you might argue that if I was and stop him from doing a terrible sin, capable of rebuking him and didn’t, I then I will almost certainly fail. The only would be responsible for the sin of not intention that fits the role of a successful rebuking him. But how do I become opens, he sees that his neighbor is drilling tions, they come to me and demand pay- mochiach is: “This is my friend; I am con- responsible for the sin that he perpetrat- a hole in the side of the boat. ment. We are teammates, and I am cerned for his good.” ed? He transgressed it; I didn’t. “What are you doing?” the man cries. responsible for your performance. If I am looking out for kavod One nation, one people. The answer to “Oh, I’m just drilling,” the neighbor The Targum is teaching us the extent Shamayim, or if I am a do-gooder con- this question is based on understanding answers simply. of that connection. What Reuvain does cerned for the betterment of the world, the connection that one Jew has to “Drilling?” directly affects me—not because I am then my words will accomplish the exact another. “Yes. I’m drilling a hole in my side of nosy or a busybody, but because we are opposite of their intended purpose. I The Kli Yakar brings a mashal. Imagine the boat.” one entity, so much so that I am liable for won’t succeed in separating my friend a man who is on an ocean voyage. One “Stop that!” the man says. what he does. If he sins and I could have from the sin; I will only succeed in sepa- morning, he hears a strange rattling “But why?” asks the neighbor. “This is prevented it, that comes back to me. A rating him from me. The first require-

22 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES ment for the proper fulfillment of form correctly. Typically, we find our- tochachah is that it must be out of love selves either not wanting to get involved Posada Goes To Bat For Kids With Autism and concern for my friend. or saying things that cause more harm The second condition for tochachah to than good. But when the driving force in be effective has to do with the way it is doing this mitzvah is concern for the delivered. good of our friends, and we carefully Do you shout when you put on tefillin? study human nature and choose our The Chofetz Chaim was once approached words guardedly, Hashem will help us to by a certain community leader who com- perform it properly. O plained that no matter how much he reproached the people of his town, they For more on this topic, please listen to Shmuz 53 “I Hate Criticism.” didn’t listen. The Chofetz Chaim asked The new Shmuz book, Stop Surviving and Start this person to describe how he went Living, is now in print! It is a powerful, inspiring work that deals with major life issues. Copies are about rebuking his townspeople. The available in stores, at www.TheShmuz.com, or by man described his method of yelling fiery calling 866-613-TORAH (613-8672). words at them. The Chofetz Chaim asked him, “Tell me, when you put on tefillin, do you shout and carry on? Why do you feel the obligation to do so when you do Every man shall fear this mitzvah?” One of the most basic concepts of his mother and his Yankees catcher Jorge Posada was welcomed by investment banker human relations is that people hate criti- father and keep my Morris Oiring at an autism fundraiser held in the Five Towns. cism. We hate it worse than poison, and sabbaths; I am G-d we avoid it like the plague. When you criticize me, I become hypersensitive. If your G-d you whisper, I hear it as loud speech, and (Vayikra 19:3) when you speak quietly, I hear it as if you are shouting in my ears. Being aware of Although I have command- this is vital in choosing the method, tone, ed you to fear your father, and words with which I approach my if he tells you to violate the friend. The mitzvah of tochachah is to help my friend improve. Without a strat- Shabbos—or to transgress egy that is sensitive to human nature, any other mitzvah—do not even the best of intentions will backfire. heed him; for “I am G-d To succeed in this mitzvah, I need to your G-d”—both you and choose my words very carefully, making sure that they are as soft and non-offen- your father are obligated to sive as possible. This is the second honor Me. requirement of the mitzvah. Out of concern and love. The reality is (Rashi;Talmud) that this is a very difficult mitzvah to per-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 23 Senators Praise PA However, Senator Graham was some- calling on President Obama to impose The purpose of the trip, according to Continued from Front Cover what critical of the Palestinians and economic and diplomatic sanctions, Graham, was to “reinforce” support for implied that they are currently an imped- including the withdrawal of the Israel in Congress. “Congress has Israel’s “stalled” peace process with Israeli and iment to the implementation of a two American Ambassador in Damascus. back,” he averred. “I say this without any Palestinian leaders. state solution. “Israel is not the problem,” However “military action is not on the animosity toward the Palestinian people The “delegation will conduct official Graham affirmed, calling a return to the table,” he qualified. or any other group in the region.” O discussions with high-ranking govern- 1967 borders “indefensible.” Expanding on Graham’s comments ment officials regarding political, eco- Expressing incredulity regarding the regarding the role that the Palestinians nomic, and military/security issues affect- Palestinians’ planned statehood bid in are expected to play in restarting the ing bilateral and regional relationships,” the United Nations in September, peace process, Senator John Thune (R-SD) the American Embassy in Tel Aviv Graham said that UN “sanctioning of a called for “direct negotiations” between Rebuke, rebuke your announced. Palestinian state will do more harm than the parties, rather than the multilateral fellow Following meetings with Israeli good.” framework favored by the Palestinians Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Graham also attempted to assuage and the Arab League. (Vayikra 19:17) and Defense Minister Ehud Barak on Wednesday, the American legislators Said Rabbi Ilaah in the name traveled to Ramallah to meet with Palestinian Authority Premier Salam of Rabbi Elazar ben Rabbi Fayyad, whom Graham called a “moder- The PA police have made progress. Shimon: Just as it is a ate voice” and a “potential partner for peace.” “They have good military bearing,” mitzvah for a person to say Graham indicated that he was what will be accepted, it is “impressed” with the Palestinian Authority’s security forces. The senator Graham said. a mitzvah to refrain from told reporters that while he had been dis- appointed with the performance of the saying things that will not PA police when visiting five years ago, be accepted. they have since made progress. “They have good military bearing,” he said. Israeli fears regarding the potential for an Speaking with the Five Towns Jewish Rabbi Abba said: Indeed, it is The Israeli government demanded that abrogation of the 1979 Camp David peace Times, Thune indicated that discrimina- the Palestinian Authority conduct an treaty with Egypt. Expressing worry over tion against Palestinians in Southern an obligation [to act thus], inquiry into their security forces earlier what he termed a “strand of populism in Lebanon is “taken into consideration” as it is written (Mishlei 9:8): this week following the shooting death the Egyptian debate,” the senator said when determining the disbursement of of Ben-Yosef Livnat, nephew of Culture that he “can’t sell assistance [to Egypt] aide to Israel’s northern neighbor, but “Do not rebuke a fool, lest and Sports Minister Limor Livnat, at the and at the same time sit silently as the declined to disclose how widely known hands of Palestinian security forces at treaty is broken.” such discrimination is among he hate you; rebuke a wise Joseph’s Tomb in Nablus. “It would be a huge mistake to go Congressional delegates. man, and he will love you.” Graham also praised Fayad for down that road, and regarding American According to Thune, it is important for spurring economic growth in the West assistance, a fatal mistake,” he warned. American interests that countries in the (Talmud,Yevamos 65b) Bank. “We see progress on the ground in Graham also expressed his enthusiasm region, aside from Israel, also receive the Palestinian Authority,” he said. for tough action against the Assad regime, financial aide.

24 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES “Annexation For Declaration” Gains Momentum

BY GAVRIEL QUEENANN

MK Danny Danon (Likud) is preparing bills to annex Judea and Samaria and repeal Oslo should the UN unilaterally declare a Palestinian state in September. “We’ll have to protect our- selves,” Danon said. “I’m going to suggest to my government to extend our sovereignty over the Jordan Valley and over the highly populated blocs we have in Judea and Samaria, just to start with.” Danon said the proper response to a unilateral declara- tion of PA statehood would be annexing all of Area C, which includes all Jewish settlements and empty land in Judea and Samaria. Danon encouraged Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu to follow the exam- ple of Levi Eshkol, who annexed eastern Jerusalem, and Menachem Begin, who annexed the Golan Heights. “A Palestinian declaration of statehood would officially bury the Oslo Accords, which state that final borders will be decid- ed via negotiations and that uni- lateral actions constitute viola- tion of the accords,” Danon said of his bill. “The Palestinians declaring a state would free us of all the diplomatic, security, and economic commitments we made in the Oslo Accords.” The idea Danon is pursuing was raised by National Infrastructures Minister Uzi Landau at an Israel Beiteinu convention in Jerusalem two weeks ago and has attracted attention from the internation- al media. Prime Minister Netanyahu has remained staunchly ambiguous on how he intends to respond to the PA’s bid for a UN declaration of statehood. He has, however, maintained, should the PA pursue unilateral moves, that Israel has its own unilateral options. (Arutz Sheva) O

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Call 516-984-0079 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 25 Halachic Musings halachah in such a case? Can Goldstein the total sum for this purchase was rather Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein to Rav Elyashiv, Continued from Front Cover keep his profits? Or must Goldstein large and the purchaser was making shlita. Rav Elyashiv responded that, tech- return all his profits to the shul? monthly payments. nically, there is no reason that the pur- engage in profit-making business ven- There are a number of issues at play Unfortunately, midyear the person chaser cannot sell the aliyah and make a tures and with the proliferation of the here. Firstly, the issue of ona’ah arises— passed away. What should the sons who profit. He ruled in accordance with the selling of aliyos in shul in order to raise charging above market value for a right or inherited from their father now do? Must Sh’yarei Knesses HaGedolah. Rav money for the shul, it was only a matter an item. The Shulchan Aruch in Choshen they keep the honor and continue mak- Elyashiv added, however, that since the of time until an enterprising individual Mishpat chapter 227 discusses the laws of ing the payments? Are the sons permitted sale could only take place in the venue put two and two together. overcharging for an item. If a price for to sell the balance of the year’s p’sichas? of the shul, then he must give them a And so it was. Mr. Goldstein purchased something is 16.67 percent above market And what happens if the amount that portion of the profits. Rav Zilberstein an aliyah at auction. Mr. Schwartz was value, then the purchaser has the right to they sell it for is more than is owed to the (Meah Shearim #45) cites a ruling of the slow on the draw, but he had wanted to negate the sale. Here, however, the pur- shul? May they keep the profit? Shulchan Aruch (CM 183:6) that backs up have that specific aliyah which included chaser is amenable to the transaction. The Sh’yarei Knesses HaGedolah ruled the idea that the shul is entitled to a por- certain psukim. He later explained that Another issue is whether the sale on that the sons may sell the balance of the tion of the profits. O the words in that section meant a lot to a yom tov or Shabbos is allowed in the p’sichas, and they may keep any and all The author can be reached at him and that he felt it would be a special [email protected]. segulah for him to have the aliyah when those words were read aloud. Too late, he realized that Mr. Goldstein had already purchased the aliyah. Goldstein offered to sell the aliyah Schwartz approached Goldstein and Rebuke, rebuke your offered to buy the aliyah from him. fellow Goldstein saw opportunity here. In fact, it to Schwartz for an astounding ten $eem$ he $aw tremendou$ opportunity (Vayikra 19:17) here. Goldstein offered to sell the aliyah times what he had paid for it. to Schwartz for an astounding ten times Our Sages have said: what he had paid for it. “Words that come from the What happened? Schwartz accepted heart, enter the heart.” It Goldstein’s offer and agreed to pay him therefore follows that if you the 1000% percent profit that he first place. profit that they make. The Olas Tamid requested. Finally, there is the issue of whether disagreed with this ruling and writes, seek to correct a failing of As can be expected, when the other scalping something holy that is associat- “Ain mistakrin b’tzedakah”—we cannot your fellow and are unsuc- mispallelim heard about this, pandemoni- ed with the synagogue is permissible. engage in business speculation with cessful, the fault lies not um broke out in the shul. Regarding the last issue, it seems this is charity funds. with him, but with yourself. Some were angry and felt that no one a debate between the Sh’yarei Knesses It would seem that the debate has the right to scalp an aliyah. They HaGedolah (OC 147:9) and the Olas Tamid between the Sh’yarei Knesses HaGedolah Had you truly been sincere, demanded that all profits go back to the (144:4). The original case in which these and the Olas Tamid directly affects our your words would certainly shul. Others claimed that the enterprising two authorities opined dealt with some- case of aliyah-scalping. The question is, have had an effect. Goldstein had the right since he had one who had purchased the honor of however, according to whom do we rule? bought the aliyah fair and square. p’sicha, the opening of the Ark of the This case (and the question as to (The Lubavitcher Rebbe) Bizarre though it may be, what is the Torah, for the entire year. It seems that which opinion we follow) was posed by

26 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 27 28 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

least five years old.” at all levels of home purchasing Renovations done even five to are holding out for renovated ten years ago might include homes as opposed to homes that bathrooms or kitchens that may be in good condition and today have gone out of style, or well-maintained but have not kitchen cabinets or counter- been upgraded recently. tops that are Formica—even How is this going to play out expensive, custom Formica. in our real-estate market when I have come to realize that so many of the homes for sale How Recent Is That Renovation? the economic fiasco we have presently are not renovated in just come through did not just this manner? I have no idea, but A few weeks ago, my four- bathrooms are in good condi- below starting prices of homes leave us with a buyer’s market will keep you posted! O year-old grandson Nachum said tion or the kitchen cabinets are in this neighborhood or mid- in real estate, but with very it all: “One man’s junk is another wood, but that the bathroom range or upper ranges, the one high-end desires by buyers, no Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a man’s treasure!” And when it tile and fixtures are outdated priority they all seem to share is matter what price range they licensed N.Y.S. mortgage broker with comes to showing houses for and the kitchen cabinets are vin- that whatever they find, they fall into. over 20 years of experience, offering full-service residential and commercial sale, that is what the world of tage—if you can call 1980s or want “renovated.” In previous years, a buyer real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen real estate is really about. 1990s vintage. “Renovated” used to mean looking for high-end renovations Realty) and mortgaging services (First You can take a listing from This scenario is not an that the upgrades were done in was typically one who was will- Meridian Mortgage) in the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. She a seller who has given you the unusual one as I take prospec- the last 10 years. Today, the new ing to pay for those expensive can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via responsibility of selling his tive new buyers out looking for prospective buyer will often renovations found in the higher- her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are encouraged to send “gem,” which he has polished, homes. Whether they are look- say to me, “I need to renovate. priced houses. Today, new buy- questions or comments to ing for homes at prices way This looks like it must be at ers looking to purchase a home [email protected].

Today, the new prospective buyer will often say to me, “I need to renovate. This looks like it must be at least five years old.”

cleaned, decorated, and lived in with all his hopes and dreams for 30 years (give or take), only to then show it to a buyer who, after inspecting it for all of 15 minutes, turns to you and says, “It is so old, it needs everything, and I don’t have the time or the money to renovate.” I look around and try to emphasize how well-main- tained everything is, how clean and how pretty. But all the buyer can see is not that the

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 29 Instead of opting for granite counter- water all over the counters and then tops, yours truly went with Formica. allow the water to spill over onto the The Formica that I chose is lovely and floor. And that’s what the rabbis mean it so closely resembles granite that peo- when they say granite can be made ple who enter my kitchen for the first usable for Pesach.” When he said that, I time often think it is granite. That’s all would immediately feel better. As usual, well and good, but it’s not of much Hubby was right. I would never volun- help when it’s time to kosher a kitchen tarily have allowed water to be spilled for Pesach. until it reached the floor. It’s just not in My friends who have granite coun- me to do that, so I would probably be Yearnings tertops rave about that fact that they the only person who elected to cover don’t need to be covered. Each year the granite rather than to kosher it that After a winter of relentless snow- knob to the next and the next, until they brag, “All I need to do is pour boil- way. The problem is that Hubby is no storms, I was elated to finally see green there was as much string in my kitchen ing water over my counters, and POOF, longer here to remind me, and occa- grass again. Actually, I was even happy to as there are wires hanging out on the I’m good to go.” Talk about rubbing my sionally I forget. see cement, blacktop, brick, flagstone, floor around my computer. The string nose in it! On one or two occasions I Nevertheless, it’s a moot point. I and any other form of street, sidewalk, was everywhere! And, while it didn’t seriously considered popping a friend don’t have granite, so there are no or driveway pavement. Of course, it did- prevent me from seeing the cabinets, it in the nose when she made that com- options here. I do have to cover my n’t take long to forget about the snow, counters for Pesach, and after just a and within days I took for granted the few short days I miss the sight of my fact that it is my right to see grass, pretty countertops. cement, and all the other above-men- Each year I do things differently. tioned surfaces. “You would never pour boiling Sometimes I cover them with firm sheets Winter is several months long and of white corrugated cardboard. The card- those snowstorms occurred over a period water all over the counters and board is coated so it doesn’t absorb spills of time, so it isn’t surprising that I missed of any kind and it can be easily wiped those things that I normally take for clean. Other years I use other materials to granted. However, I recently found then allow the water to spill over cover the counters. It pretty much myself yearning to see something that depends on my mood. But there are a few was only out of sight for eight days—a small, irregularly shaped areas of counter- much shorter time, to be sure. I’m refer- onto the floor.” top in every kitchen, and mine is no dif- ring to the week of Pesach, when I missed ferent. So when I use the corrugated my kitchen. material, which isn’t easy to cut, I end up It isn’t as if the kitchen disappeared taping small pieces of aluminum foil as did the grass and those other sur- wasn’t the most attractive sight. ment. But, thus far, I have managed to onto any exposed area of countertop. faces, but it did undergo a major change. What did disappear, however, were restrain myself. Very attractive! In fact, in just the eight days of Pesach my countertops. When I redid my When my husband, Arnie, was with The glorious combination of the cover- my kitchen underwent such a change as kitchen many years ago, I had a sudden me, he would calm me down. Hubby ing for the counter and the string is hard to render it unrecognizable. The place (and, according to Hubby’s description, always knew what to say. All he had to to describe. But it doesn’t end there. I’m was decorated in “early string.” I had a singular) attack of frugality and made say was, “Hannah, who are you kid- tied string from one kitchen cabinet the ridiculous decision to economize. ding? You would never pour boiling Continued on Page 32

30 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 31 THAT’S THE WAY IT IS! Continued from Page 30 also not overjoyed with the white plastic tub that I insert into my sink. The part I love the most is when Pesach is over and I get to clean out all the junk that has accumulated under that insert. The stench that arises from my sink defies description, so I always make sure to have on hand an abundant supply of bak- ing soda and the freshest-smelling cleanser known to mankind. Of course, my kitchen table is also cov- ered for the entire holiday, and I’m not too crazy about that either. But I should- n’t complain; it could be more difficult. What my parents used to do to the kitchen in my childhood home is hard to believe. My father piled so many layers of covering on top of our kitchen table that, until we were 12 years old, my sister and I were barely able to reach the table to eat our food—it was that high! The same was true of the counter- tops. Dad placed a sheet of cardboard, then a sheet of plastic material, then more cardboard, and then more plastic onto those counters, all of which made the countertops so high that my moth- er, who was a short woman, was quick- ly exhausted, since she had to raise her arms to work on them. My father did as much layering on our kitchen table and on our countertops as I do when I make lasagna. Aside from missing my kitchen, I also miss the sight of certain foods during Pesach. I long for the sight of pizza. In my book, those “matzah pizzas” that became so gastronomically fashionable a few years back are no substitute. They’re passable (minimally edible) dur- ing Pesach, but the minute yom tov ends only the family dog is willing to ingest it—and it would have to be a very hungry dog! The same may be said for cake. I like cake to be cake. Frosting doesn’t happen to be my favorite thing, but if frosting is part of a cake recipe, it should be just a thin layer on top of the cake. Those gor- geous, fancy-looking cakes that rest beneath clear plastic domes and make their appearance each year about three weeks prior to the holiday don’t do it for me. There’s approximately four inches of frosting for every inch of actual cake, which leads me to conclude that frost- ing is a lot less expensive than the cake itself. But, of course, the price doesn’t reflect that, because those cakes that were sitting on supermarket shelves were priced at $17.99 apiece, despite the fact that they were made almost entire- ly of icing. I felt a toothache coming on as soon as I looked at those confections. Who knows? Maybe a dentist had a hand in the creation of those recipes. Anything is possible. The bottom line is that in late March this year, I was happy to once again see the grass and cement that had been cov- ered by snow all winter. And now, in late April, I’m equally pleased to see my kitchen as it normally looks, old-fash- ioned pizza pies, and any cakes without four inches of icing. Pesach gives me double pleasure—once when it arrives and once again when it ends. O

Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at [email protected] or 516-902-3733. 32 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Dear Esther, her safe and secure? I know the third My daughter Sara was always a perky, option is really just a fantasy, but it seems popular, and pretty individual. She was like the most tempting. happy-go-lucky, always smiling, and just a Sol gives us the creeps. Though I don’t pleasure to be around. have any real evidence, my heart tells me When Sara started dating, she fell that he is a bad person. My husband and head-over-heels in love with Sol. He was I kick ourselves for not having forbidden very good looking, had a lot of money, Sara to marry Sol, though there is no guar- drove a fancy car, and took her on amaz- antee she would have listened to us. ing dates. She fell under his spell. When Meanwhile, it’s a mess. There’s a baby on he would come by to pick her up, he was the way, which I think will only make never particularly chatty with me or my matters more complicated and serious, husband. As a result, we never connect- and I feel like we’re losing our daughter ed with him or had much of a sense and she’s losing herself. about who he really was. But Sara Is there anything we can do to fix this seemed to be in love, and they got mar- horrible situation that we are all in? ried about a year ago. Frightened

Do we just kidnap our daughter, bring her back home, and keep her safe and secure?

Right now, Sara is six months preg- Dear Frightened, nant, and for a while now, it seems as I’m so sorry to hear about what Sara, though the spark has gone out of her you, and your husband are going eyes. I don’t know exactly what is going through. I can’t imagine that you are hav- on with her, but we suspect the worst. ing too many sleep-filled nights. From Since they got married, they have never what you are describing, there is definite- come for a Shabbos. Though Sol bought a ly something terribly wrong going on house right away, we are never invited behind Sara and Sol’s closed doors. there, either. When I bump into old Though we can’t know for certain that friends of hers in the neighborhood, they she is in an abusive relationship, there ask me how she’s doing and tell me that certainly are enough compelling details they haven’t heard from her in ages. to make one suspect such a thing. But I feel as though Sara is being con- just to play devil’s advocate for a trolled, manipulated, and maybe even moment, it’s possible that there is a rea- abused. She is no longer the girl I once son you haven’t considered that could be knew. Though I try calling, she very often dragging them down and causing them does not take my calls. She almost never to retreat. Perhaps there are serious calls me, even though we used to be financial issues, or maybe something extremely close. A while ago, my husband health-related. Not that these would be and I decided to drop in one Sunday, good, but these and other possibilities do unannounced. I don’t know how to paint a different picture. describe this, but it felt as though we had Regardless, what matters now is what walked into the middle of something you as parents can do at this point. Your ugly and scary. It was so uncomfortable first suggestion of having your husband for all of us that we quickly left and confront Sol is not a great choice. It haven’t surprised her since. And because sounds as though from the first time you of the nature of Sol’s business, he’s not in met him, Sol made it clear that he had no an office from 9 to 5; he’s in and out a lot. intentions of letting you in, and certainly My husband and I are not aggressive he showed no interest in becoming a people. We’ve always given our children close member of your family. Why would the necessary space to grow. But with he suddenly decide to “share” at this stage Sara, we feel as though something has of the game? An argument could ensue, gone terribly wrong, and we’re frightened and it could get heated and maybe even At this point, we really don’t know out of control. I don’t see a successful out- what to do. My husband is thinking come from such a meeting. about confronting Sol, demanding expla- Your second thought of confronting nations for why they have isolated them- Sara also doesn’t work for me. I suppose selves from us and the rest of the family the word “confronting” is what I am and why Sara seems so miserable. I’m having a problem with. Sara is not in a wondering whether I need to confront good place, for whatever reasons. If you Sara and demand that she tell me exactly confront her, she will probably retreat what’s going on, because my gut tells me even more, which is something that she there is definitely something going on has figured out how to do from the that is not good. Or do we just kidnap our daughter, bring her back home, and keep Continued on Page 34 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 33 MINDBIZ Continued from Page 33 beginning of her marriage. She is shut down enough right now; you don’t want to seal the deal. Your third idea sounds lovely—but, of course, it is a fantasy. Without some evi- dence of physical abuse, which would enable you to get an order of protection against Sol, you probably wouldn’t have much of a leg to stand on. So let’s talk about what you should be doing right now. The key for you is to fig- ure out how to gently reconnect with Sara after all this time. Now is not the time to be respectful of the usual bound- aries. Find the hook. Is it possible for you to offer to take her to her doctor’s appointments? Can you offer to take her shopping for maternity clothing? Is there a time during the day when you know for certain that Sol is out of the house, so that you can drop by with coffee? You really need to become a presence in her life right now, more so than ever before. There’s got to be a way—and you need to find it. I know it’s not in your nature to be aggressive, but this is no time to be passive, either. If you can make that hap- pen, there is information you need to share with her. Don’t ram it down her throat. And don’t overload her the first time you meet with her. It must be done slowly, tenderly, and without judgment. Sara needs to know that your home is always open to her, so that if she ever feels as though she needs to get out of her house, you and your husband will always graciously welcome her back into your home, no questions asked, in case she doesn’t want to get into details. You should also provide her with the name and number of a good therapist, explain- ing how life can feel more manageable when speaking to an outsider. Also, you may want to slip her a piece of paper with the Shalom Task Force phone num- ber written on it. Though it would be counterproductive to come right out and tell her that you fear for her soul, Sara needs to know that neither you nor your husband are dum- mies. And particularly with a baby on board, you have no intentions of letting her slip away from the love and support of your family, into a place of despair. It’s gone on for too long. I would also encourage you and your husband to work with a professional right now. You are both no doubt under extreme stress. I would suggest working with someone who specializes in domes- tic-abuse issues, so that you will be advised regarding what signs to look for, should your worst fears be realized. Again, I want to stress that no one, besides Sara and Sol, knows exactly what is going on at the moment and why Sara has pulled away from you. Maybe we’re all jumping the gun on this one. But it’s better to be overly concerned than to wake up one day and wonder how you allowed something to take place under your noses. Regrets are hard to live with. You want to know that you’ve taken every precaution and worked every angle in an attempt to reengage Sara and help her get through whatever is ailing her. Good luck. Esther

Esther Mann, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in Lawrence. Esther works with individuals and couples. She can be reached at [email protected] or 516-314-2295. 34 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Shabbos was both restful get back into the swing of non- and tasty. I tried out a new yom tov living—especially for recipe this year: overnight pota- Yussie, when his Mommy is no to kugel. I put a layer of longer ready, willing, and able chopped veal, eggs, and tomato to make him matzah-meal pan- sauce, topped with a home- cakes for breakfast almost every made potato kugel—all made morning (with one day off for sans food processor. A few Shabbos, when he satisfied his years ago our Pesachdik food sweet tooth with yogurt and Post-Pesach Bargains processor became our chametz matzah with cream cheese) and one when the chametz food with no more Pesach cake and processor died. Since then, we cookies available almost One of my thrills of the to say, Yussie was in high boxes of matzah, entire chick- have been somehow doing around the clock. Pesach season is shpatzeering demand amongst his siblings! ens, meatballs, and the requisite without one for Pesach. It’s a But now that Pesach is a (strolling) through the stores Actually, Yussie truly enjoys all Be’er Mayim Chayim 2-liter bot- little harder on the hands, but thing of the past, we will all be during chol ha’moed and watch- the “scary” rides, as long as you tles of soda. I surely don’t envy the food is satisfying and preparing for Shabbos. Enjoy! O ing the reduction of prices on inform him that they are not the people who were designat- scrumptious nonetheless! various items. My favorite day is “that scary.” ed to carry those meals! Seeing As the last days of yom tov Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with on the eve of the last days of As we all snacked on our all the kids with their smiling approached, I looked forward Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her chips, matzah-meal pancakes, faces as they chomped on their to them with excitement and a husband Leonard and six children: and apple-juice boxes, we wit- Bloom’s and Lieber’s potato bit of melancholy, knowing Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. She welcomes your questions nessed families feasting on sticks surely put us into the that my favorite holiday was and comments at It is difficult to more elaborate fare: whole Pesach spirit. nearing its end. It is difficult to [email protected]. get back into the swing of non-yom tov living, when Mommy is no longer ready, willing, and able to make matzah- meal pancakes for breakfast.

yom tov. That’s when you can receive the greatest bargains! So what if we are sick of the Pesach cake mixes? At 99 cents a box we will love it! I came back from Brach’s, Gourmet Glatt, and Seasons (formerly Supersol) with my loot, and I couldn’t wait to dig in. Of course, the day was still young, and I needed to go back to all the various establish- ments by 4:00 p.m. to grab the real bargains! The first days of Pesach were delightful. Everyone enjoyed the Pesach Seders, and the kids impressed us all with all of their keen insights. Despite the cold, rainy weather, the warmth of being with family warmed our souls. Thursday of chol ha’moed was spent with Rivka, Rochel, Lea, and Yussie at Adventureland. We certainly had a ball! Although the park was crowded and the lines were long, Adventureland offers a “special- needs pass” that entitles the “special” individual and up to five other members of that per- son’s group to get a “go to the front of the line” pass. Suffice it

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 35 Chasam Sofer as a message at all, but as a priorities, we can be entirely equal ser- truism—is that people of different colors vants of Hashem. Black Like Us are only superficially different from one Consider Rav Broka, who, the Talmud another. What lies beneath our shells are recounts (Ta’anis 22a), was often accom- the same veins, sinews, and organs, no panied by Eliyahu HaNavi, and once BY RABBI AVI SHAFRAN Jew may excel in Torah study, another in matter our shades. asked the prophet whether in a certain avodah (prayer), another in kindnesses to The Chasam Sofer’s novel message, marketplace there were any people who The Chasam Sofer probably never saw others; this one in one particular mitzvah, though, is that there are different ways, merited the World to Come. The individ- a black person. There weren’t likely very that one in another. Nevertheless, while no one of them any less essentially wor- uals Eliyahu pointed to turned out to be many in 19th-century Central Europe. But they all differ from each other in their thy than any other, of serving Hashem. a prison guard who made special efforts he certainly knew they existed. After all, actions, they all have the same intention, All too often we fall into the trap of to preserve prisoners’ moral integrity they are mentioned in a pasuk, the one to serve Hashem with their entire hearts. thinking that we, or our children, must and who interceded with the govern- that opens the haftarah of Parashas “Behold the Kushite. Inside, his organs, follow a particular trajectory and land in ment on behalf of his fellow Jews; and a Kedoshim, which will be read this his blood, and his appearance are all the a particular place in life. But when pair of comedians, who used their Shabbos. There, K’lal Yisrael are com- same as other people’s. Only in the super- Chazal teach that “just as people’s faces humor to cheer up the depressed and pared to Kushites (Kush is generally iden- defuse disputes. tified as a kingdom in central Africa). One wonders if the parents of those “Behold, you are like the children of meritorious men felt disappointed at Kush to Me,” the navi (Amos 9:7) quotes their sons’ choices of professions. Or the Creator addressing the Jewish People. One wonders if the parents of whether they realized that there are, in “Just as a Kushite differs [from others] in the end, many paths that can lead to the [the color of] his skin,” comments the those meritorious men felt World to Come. O Gemara (Moed Katan, 16b), “so are the © 2011 Ami Magazine. Rabbi Shafran is an editor Jewish people different in their actions.” at large and columnist for Ami. One might assume that the intention disappointed at their sons’ choices of that explanation is simply that, while most people often act thoughtlessly or selfishly, Jews, if they live as they should, of professions. do otherwise, planning their every action, concerned about their obligations to the Remember that article? Creator and to others. Visit our archive section But the Chasam Sofer’s interpretation ficiality of his skin is he different from all differ one from the other, so do their of the Talmudic comment (he apparently others. This is the meaning of ‘[different] minds,” they are informing us otherwise, and find any issue of the had “the righteous” in place of “the in his skin,’ [meaning] only in his skin. that there are different, equally meritori- Jewish people”) goes in a different direc- Likewise, the righteous are different ous, trajectories; different, equally 5 Towns Jewish Times tion, and makes a point as fundamental [from one another] only ‘in their actions’; praiseworthy, landing places for differ- online @ as it is timely. their inner conviction and intention, ent people. It’s not just that people are His words: though, are [the same,] aimed at serving dissimilar and will choose a variety of www.5TJT.com “It is well known that every Jew is Hashem in a good way.” vocations, excel in a variety of fields, and required to observe all the mitzvos. But There are two messages to glean here. establish individual priorities. It’s that in there is no single path for them all. One One—which wasn’t intended by the all our diversity of vocations, fields, and

36 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

What’s In Season: Strawberries

When you see those bright red using so they do not begin to grow strawberries at the market, you know mold. Remove stems by twisting off, it’s spring. Sweet and juicy, and healthy then hull with a paring knife by placing as well, strawberries are nature’s little the tip of the knife into the edge of the heart-shaped gifts. Strawberries are stem and rotate around to cut out. You great in desserts, of course, from straw- can also take a straw and push through Halibut With Balsamic While halibut is cooking, mix straw- berry shortcake to elegant chocolate- from the bottom of the strawberry Strawberry Salsa berries, lime juice, vinegar, honey, salt, dipped strawberries. However, they can straight through to the stem to remove Ingredients: and pepper. Add mint or cilantro and stir also be used in savory dishes and sal- it. To slice the berries, place stem-side 4 halibut fillets gently. Top fish with salsa, and serve. ads. They are packed with vitamin C down on cutting board to stabilize, salt and pepper to taste and antioxidants, making them a then make uniform size slices through 2 Tbsp. olive oil Want to learn how to cook delicious gourmet healthy treat for your body and your the berry. 1 pint strawberries, chopped meals right in your own kitchen? Take one-on-one cooking lessons or give a gift to an aspiring cook taste buds. Uses. Of course you can eat strawber- 2 Tbsp. fresh lime juice that you know. For more information, contact Selecting. Strawberries can be pur- ries straight up, mix them into a 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar Take Home Chef personal chef services by calling 516-508-3663, writing to chased year round, but they are at their smoothie, or make a fruit salad. Their 2 tsp. honey [email protected], or visiting best between April and July. Choose sweetness, which is not overpowering, 1/2 tsp. coarse sea salt www.TakeHomeChef.net. berries that are firm, shiny, and deep red also lends itself to many other dishes. 1/2 tsp. black pepper in color. They are very perishable, so buy Add to spinach, asparagus, and walnuts 1 Tbsp. mint or cilantro, chopped them close to when you plan to use them for a bright, fresh salad that’s good for (optional) and handle with care. Remove any bad your skin and your heart. Top a cake Directions: At 5TJT.com berries from the bunch before storing in with sliced strawberries in concentric Preheat oven to 350°. Heat olive oil in you can enjoy articles the refrigerator. circles for a beautiful presentation. ovenproof skillet. Season halibut with salt Preparing. After soaking and wash- Layer strawberries with other berries, and pepper. Sear fish for 2 minutes on each in 3 ways: ing according to your kashrus stan- yogurt, and granola for a healthy break- side, till nicely browned. Place in oven for dards, dry them off immediately with a fast parfait. You can also create a salsa to about 5 minutes more to cook through, 1. Read 2. Print 3. Email paper towel. Only wash right before serve with fish or chicken. watching carefully not to overcook.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 37 eignty so that a Palestinian Arab state claimed the most important literary crit- A Tale Of Two Nations may rise and supersede Israel. ic in the world, questioned whether Every day, more celebrated Jewish Israel should have come into being at personalities—writers, artists, academ- all. Eric Hobsbawm, one of the greatest Tidbits From Israel paign of demonization and delegitimiza- ics—are depicting Israel as a racist, living historians, supported the Second BY RON JAGER tion of Israel, they are doing everything in vicious, and inhumane “entity” that has Intifada, endorsing the “the cause of lib- their power to deny Israel’s place as the to be dismantled. Many of them have eration.” Marek Edelman, one of the “It’s time for us to stop complaining home of the Jewish nation with assumed pivotal roles in the global cam- leaders of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, about how bad Israel’s PR is,” said Jerusalem its undivided capital. paign to delegitimize the Jewish State. wrote letters to “Palestinian partisans.” Malcolm Hoenlein, the executive vice The late historian Tony Judt has been chairman of the Conference of Presidents outspoken in his rejection of Israel’s of Major American Jewish Organizations. right to exist and offered Israelis the “It’s not just Israel that’s in danger—but fate of other religious minorities in the all of us. The entire Jewish people are Those who fire at a yellow bus with Middle East. United Nations envoy under attack, and this is about the future Richard Falk is one of the most radical of all Jewish people. Those who under- the intention of murdering children demonizers of the Jewish State. mine Israel’s right to self-defense hurt the Historian Norman Finkelstein is one of entire Jewish people’s right to self- are war criminals of the worst kind the staunchest Western supporters of defense. We are not talking about a situa- Hezbollah. Nobel laureate Harold tion like in 1967, but like in 1947—about Pinter, film directors Ken Loach and the entire Jewish people’s right to exist.” and a partner for nothing. Mike Leigh, and historian Ilan Pappe What Malcolm Hoenlein neglected to have been the most famous anti-Israeli point out is that Jews are in the forefront figures in the UK. of the global anti-Israel campaign doing Much of the damage is underestimat- much to tarnish Israel’s reputation. These Israel, as far as they are concerned, is a Their relentless attacks could well play ed. Steven and Hilary Rose, two Jews, many living in Israel and many rogue nation based on apartheid having out in ways that indeed puts an end to renowned Jewish academics, took the ini- more living abroad, have created two sep- no legitimacy to exist as a Jewish nation Israeli sovereignty. tiative for an anti-Israel boycott in arate nations of Jews. By leading the cam- and should be forced to forfeit its sover- George Steiner, who has been pro- London. The linguist Noam Chomsky, considered “the intellectual godfather” of the anti-Israel campaign, seeks the aboli- tion of the Jewish State. Jewish philoso- pher Judith Butler is leading the move- ment for divestment from Israel. The severest blow to Israel’s reputa- tion in a decade was delivered by a Jewish judge, Richard Goldstone. Meanwhile, there is an uproar in Herzliya over renaming part of a city street after Yeshayahu Leibowitz, Israel’s most influential philosopher, who coined the term “Judeo-Nazis” to describe soldiers in the Israeli army. Michael Lerner’s magazine, Tikkun, is probably the most virulently anti-Israel screed ever published under Jewish aus- pices. There are the Israeli “neo- Canaanites,” Haim Hanegbi and Meron Benvenisti, who have come to the conclu- sion that “Israel as a Jewish state can no longer exist.” In Paris, bestselling author Stéphane Hessel, himself of Jewish ori- gin, is also inciting against Israel. There are dozens of Jews leading the NGOs promoting campaigns for boy- cotts and sanctions against Israel. Now, a new book by the historian Deborah Lipstadt, titled The Eichmann Trial, sheds light on another Jewish philoso- pher who demonized Israel, Hannah Arendt, who followed the Eichmann trial as correspondent for the New Yorker magazine. Arendt accused David Ben Gurion of speaking “the same language of Eichmann” and discussed “the bank- ruptcy of Zionism.” For well over a century, Jewish “liberal” and leftist intellectuals have rejected the legitimacy of harnessing the interests of the Jewish people into a political state. Only the Shoah, the extreme demonstra- tion of evil versus Jewish powerlessness, succeeded in turning the objections of these intellectuals to Israel into an embarrassment. The extreme damage to Israel’s reputa- tion inflicted by these and other Jewish “liberal” and leftist intellectuals has been greatly underestimated. Indeed, with their words and actions they are boosting pernicious Judeophobic propaganda. Now, we are in an era when the Jews are once more sentenced to solitary confine- ment on the moral high ground, with no other nation except Israel expected to 38 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES disappear from this world. Israel must attack Hamas dispropor- tionately. Hamas deliberately attacks civilian areas, which constitutes a war crime and is a violation of international law. Every American mother fully under- stands the meaning of firing at a yellow bus. A yellow bus is an international sym- bol that means “these are children.” Those who fire at a yellow bus with the intention of murdering children are war criminals of the worst kind and a partner for nothing. Hence, Israel’s response to the attack should be conducted without the usual need to explain and apologize. The world can and should understand. The only immediate solution is deterrence—and deterrence can only be achieved via plen- ty of firepower hitting Hamas leaders as well as Hamas rocket launchers. Only by responding disproportionately can Israel show those Jews who have committed their lives to denying the legitimacy of Jewish sovereignty that they are actively supporting cowardly Islamic movements that purposely target yellow school buses with the aim of murdering children. O

Ron Jager is a 25-year veteran of the Israel Defense Forces, serving as a field mental-health officer. Prior to retiring in 2005, he served as the commander of the central psychiatric military clinic for reserve soldiers at Tel-Hashomer. Since retiring from active duty, he has been providing consultancy services to NGOs, implementing psychological trauma treatment programs in Israel. To contact him, e-mail [email protected].

You shall not take vengeance nor bear any grudge (Vayikra 19:18) What is revenge and what is bearing a grudge? If a person said to his fellow, “Lend me your sickle,” and he replied “No,” and on the following day the second person comes to the first and says,“Lend me your ax,” and he replies:“I will not lend it to you, just as you would not lend me your sickle”—that is revenge. And what is bearing a grudge? If one person says to his fellow,“Lend me your ax,” and he replies,“No,” and on the morrow the second asks,“Lend me your garment,” and the first answers:“Here it is. I am not like you who would not lend me”—that is bearing a grudge.

(Talmud,Yoma 23a)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 39 40 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES framework for understanding adolescent of this life-threatening disorder. risk behaviors and assessing parent-child For more information about this and dynamics and family pathology. Her dis- future Institute educational opportuni- cussion included possible models for ties, visit www.ohelfamily.org or call 1-877- parental involvement in the treatment EDU-OHEL. O process, to address a range of challenging behaviors. Judith Ruskay Rabinor, Ph.D., Friendship Gathering For Frum and Judith Brisman, Ph.D., clinical psy- Women With Cancer, May 3 Yom HaShoah Program At Young eating disorders and other challenging chologists specializing in the treatment Bikur Cholim of Boro Park, in part- Israel Of Oceanside, May 1 behaviors in adolescents from both devel- of eating disorders, provided an in-depth nership with Sharsheret and Special guest speaker Chaim Katz will opmental and family perspectives, pro- perspective focusing on the possibilities CancerCare, hosts monthly friendship speak about Yom HaShoah: A Day of viding enhanced understanding and prac- for parental involvement in the treat- gatherings for frum women who are in Remembrance at the Young Israel of treatment for or have been in treatment Oceanside, 150 Waukena Avenue, on for cancer. Their next confidential meet- Tuesday, May 1 at 7:30 p.m. The night will ing will take place on Tuesday, May 3, also feature the participation of the from 11:00 a.m.-12:30 p.m., in Bikur youth of YIO. O Cholim of Boro Park, at 5216 11th Avenue, and will be free of charge. Ohel Institute For Training Come hear interesting guest speakers Workshop Addresses Eating and have opportunities to meet others Disorders In Teens “who understand,” while enjoying a How can mental-health professionals light, healthy snack. For more informa- be most effective when working with a tion, please leave a message for Yafa, at child or teen who is involved in challeng- 718-438-2020, ext. 7451, and tell her the ing risk behaviors? What is the potential most private way to reach you. This for involving parents as partners in the project is sponsored by the Caring therapeutic process? Commission of the UJA Federation of Therapists from all over the greater Greater NY. O New York area learned answers to these and related questions at a recent skill- Great Neck Opens Community To building workshop sponsored by The Mel Ohel Bais Ezra Residents and Phyllis Zachter OHEL Institute for Residents of Great Neck extended a Training, funded by the U.S. Department L–R: Judith Ruskay Rabinor, Ph.D.; Arlene Etengoff, M.A.; Irit Felsen, Ph.D.; warm invitation to individuals with of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and and Judith Brisman, Ph.D. developmental disabilities by hosting a Delinquency. Treating Troubled Teens: recent Shabbaton. For these Ohel Bais Parents as Partners in the Therapeutic Ezra clients, these Shabbatonim are very Process, presented on Tuesday, April 5, tical strategies based on the latest clinical ment of eating disordered adolescents. often the most looked-forward-to of represented a unique and valuable educa- and research findings. Their discussion included the key role of events. tional opportunity for experienced men- The workshop opened with a presenta- parent-child communication, and assess- Twenty-two adults with developmen- tal health professionals. Presenters with tion by Irit Felsen, Ph.D., clinical psychol- ment and intervention issues that thera- the highest level of expertise addressed ogist, who provided a developmental pists face when addressing the challenges Continued on Page 42

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 41 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Polakoff, rabbi at the Great Neck are only one segment of Israel’s Continued from Page 41 Synagogue, for continuing to fos- population currently serviced ter a close relationship with by Ezer Mizion. As Rabbi tal disabilities were accompa- Ohel, Rabbi Ian Lichter, assistant Chollak becomes aware of each nied by a dedicated team of staff rabbi at the Great Neck need, a new division is added to and volunteers. The Shabbaton Synagogue, for spearheading the the Ezer Mizion empire. Mrs. G began with davening at the Shabbaton, Rabbi Sean Jensen is a case in point. Great Neck Synagogue followed for his assistance, and Hadassah The bulb blinked and sudden- by meals at various host homes Farkas, Ohel volunteer, for coor- ly it was dark. An octogenarian, throughout the community. dinating housing and program- Mrs. G stood still, holding tight The Shabbaton additionally ming for the weekend. to her walker. Too scared to ven- included a delicious Shabbos Ohel welcomes inquiries ture further into the dark room, lunch held at Great Neck from communities to host an she returned to the kitchen. The Synagogue, a Kiddush, and an Ohel Bais Ezra Shabbaton. album of pictures would have to oneg hosted at Orly and Allan Contact Ohel Bais Ezra’s volun- wait. For Mrs. G, climbing to the Steinberg’s home. After teer program at 718-686-3103 or ceiling to change the light bulb Havdalah, Shabbaton partici- [email protected]. O Rav Chananya Chollak with Rav Steinman, shlita. was equivalent to climbing to pants enjoyed pizza and fun the moon. Her children did not activities in the synagogue’s The Birth Of Ezer Mizion live close by and she did not feel game room including basket- By C. Miller comfortable asking the neigh- ball, foosball, ping pong, video For Chananya Chollak and bors for help. games, and much more. his new wife, their first year was Ezer Mizion’s food division These Shabbatonim help to not a time of bliss as they had had helped her with meals for provide both an exhilarating expected. Two months after holidays. She had called their experience for Ohel Bais Ezra Chananya got married, his medical referral division when individuals and very impor- father-in-law had a stroke that she needed help in finding a tantly, help to further break paralyzed half of his body. doctor. The ambulance division down stigmas and educate oth- Instead of eager confidences often drove her to doctor ers in the community about over a lovingly prepared supper, appointments. “But I’m sure inclusivity and sensitivity to Chananya and his wife found they don’t change light bulbs,” others. So too, they enrich the themselves sharing medical she thought to herself. Her lives of host families, who fre- updates on the run, as one took hand reached for the phone. quently develop life-long over the shift from the other. She pulled it back. Embarrassed bonds with the clients. The young man may have been but desperate, she made the Ohel thanks Rabbi Dale disappointed. He may have Rav Chollak with the Chernobeler Rebbe, shlita. call. “We certainly do,” said the warm, friendly voice on the turned bitter and resentful. phone. “Call us any time you Chananya’s heart was bigger need something fixed in your than that. He used the opportu- house.” nity to grow, and, in so doing, For elderly people living at eventually benefited hundreds home, household mainte- of thousands of his fellow Jews. nance often poses a daunting During the long recovery challenge. While they strive to process of his father-in-law, maintain their independence, Chananya got to know the they may be too frail to change world of hospitals all too well. a light bulb or repair a minor At the time that his father-in-law plumbing leak. Many times, was hospitalized, a young girl elderly people neglect neces- with cancer was there as well. sary home repairs, and their Her mother stayed with her all homes become dilapidated day, and her father, all night. and run-down. Chananya organized eight The home repair patrol, one of neighbors to take shifts at the many departments of Ezer young girl’s bedside to give the Mizion’s golden age division, is weary parents some time to rest. comprised of hundreds of repair- With a heart that could feel the men including plumbers, electri- pain of others, even as he him- cians, carpenters, handymen, self was bleeding with sorrow, and others who offer their servic- Chananya gave birth to Ezer es to Ezer Mizion on a volunteer Mizion, Israel’s Health Support basis. When Ezer Mizion Organization, today assisting receives a request from an elder- the most vulnerable segments ly person for a home repair, it dis- of Israel’s society. patches an appropriate repair- In his daily visits to the hos- man to do the job free of charge. pital, Chananya noticed that Repairs performed by the dialysis patients were coming home repair patrol range from to the hospital for treatment basic tasks such as fixing an three times a week by ambu- electrical outlet to large projects lance. He calculated the cost of such as painting an entire traveling back and forth to the house. The home repair patrol hospital by ambulance to be also operates a large vehicle con- exorbitant. And so Chananya taining tools and materials nec- got hold of a large vehicle, essary for electrical, plumbing, turned it into a professionally and structural repairs. outfitted ambulance, funded by Involvement with the needs friends, and began arranging of sick people and their families free transport to and from the led Chananya and his steadily hospital for medical treatment. growing volunteer corps to initi- This original vehicle has since ate other ways to help ease the been replaced by many, many difficulties associated with ill- more as Ezer Mizion’s fleet of ness. Realizing that proper ambulances continues to assist meals for the families of the ill the ill and the frail. were needed for nutritional and The disabled and the elderly emotional support, the Chollaks 42 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES would send a few meals every week from their home to family members of sick people. More volunteers joined the Chollak’s efforts and Ezer Mizion’s food distribution program, today a nationwide operation that distributes half a million meals a year, was born. Similarly, the Ezer Mizion bone mar- row donor registry, today the largest Jewish registry in the world, originated with a grass-roots bone marrow drive to find a matching donor for a leukemia patient whose family was desperately seeking a genetic match for their loved one somewhere out there in the Jewish world. An idealistic young man, confronted with a situation that would upset the equi- librium of those much older than he, does not surrender to feelings that center on self, but instead turns his emotions out- ward and becomes a blessing to mankind. To donate to Ezer Mizion, please call 1- 877-Ezer-Mizion (1-877-393-7649) or mail your donation to Ezer Mizion 1281 49th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11219. O

Annual Israel Parade Gets A Makeover, June 5 The largest yearly gathering of support for Israel in the world—the annual parade up Fifth Avenue in Manhattan with more than 30,000 marchers and hundreds of thousands of spectators—is now called the Celebrate Israel Parade and will feature a host of new guests and attractions.

This year’s parade—scheduled for Sunday, June 5, from 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.—will be bigger and better than ever, including lively floats, some of the region’s best marching bands, top Israeli and American musical acts, celebrity appearances and performances, and a number of other exciting additions suit- able for all ages. The Jewish Community Relations Council of New York (JCRC-NY) is a bene- ficiary of the UJA-Federation of New York, the single largest funder of the parade. The parade will act as the marquee event of the JCRC-NY’s Celebrate Israel Project, a new partnership with the Israeli Consulate in New York and the UJA-Federation aimed at honoring the impact Israel has had on the lives of New Yorkers. The project will encompass a number of arts, sports, and community events and initiatives that will provide

Continued on Page 45 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 43 44 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Physician of the Year. Dr. Rosenbaum is a ing chapters serving Brooklyn, Queens, Exemplars Of Education Partner To Continued from Page 43 renowned radiologist and diagnostic Staten Island, and Manhattan. With a Provide Unique Learning Online oncologist who serves as assistant clinical growing contingent of caring, compas- By Rochelle Maruch Miller meaningful opportunities for New professor of radiology at Mount Sinai sionate, and efficient volunteers, the WebYeshiva.org, the first fully inter- Yorkers to come together and support the School of Medicine. Bikur Cholim operates 24 hours a day all active online Jewish studies program, Jewish State, including a Celebrate Israel Dr. Beth Popp: Physician Rofeh Cholim year long. Through the implementation announced a new partnership with Night with the New York Mets at Citi award. Dr. Popp is the well-known direc- of multifarious programs including the Ulpan-Or, an innovative center for Field scheduled for June 1 and, in con- tor of palliative medicine as well as asso- delivery of fresh hot food with a smile, Hebrew learning based in Jerusalem junction with New York Road Runners, a ciate director of hematology/medical volunteer visitation, transportation and Tel Aviv, to bring a unique Celebrate Israel Run in Central Park the oncology at Maimonides Medical Center. services, financial assistance, and recre- method of Hebrew-language instruc- morning of the parade. As in previous years, this exciting ational and educational events, each tion to the United States, the UK, and “Our new Celebrate Israel Project will event is expected to draw hundreds year the Flatbush Satmar Bikur Cholim South Africa. help New Yorkers support the State of from the tri-state area, as they gather to provides succor to over 10,000 people WebYeshiva.org uses the latest video- Israel throughout the year—during our show support for the myriad services from all walks of life who find them- conferencing technology to offer real- parade and at other events that showcase provided by the Flatbush Satmar Bikur selves confronting a wide range of time, interactive Torah classes. “Our tech- the important cultural, economic, and Cholim. Each year, various tributes are health related challenges. nology allows students around the world creative impact Israel has had on all of paid to the exceptionally dedicated and Displaying appreciation and pro- to study Torah and now Hebrew language us,” JCRC-NY executive vice president and tireless volunteers who give of their found gratitude to those in the medical anytime, anywhere,” said Rabbi Yedidya CEO Michael Miller said. “We are looking time, energy, and resources to the ill profession who stand out as shining par- Rausman, founding director of forward to another successful parade this and the infirm. adigms of devotion and care for their WebYeshiva.org. “Our goal is to make June, as Israel supporters from across the Founded by the esteemed Satmar patients as well as exemplifying the learning more accessible to the Jewish metro New York area descend on Fifth Rebbetzin, Alta Faiga Teitelbaum, a’h, the highest caliber of professional integrity community around the world.” Avenue, displaying passion and excite- Ladies Bikur Cholim D’Satmar was estab- is a time honored tradition at the Ulpan-Or is dedicated to teaching ment. The fun at the parade is contagious, lished to provide constant assistance to Flatbush Satmar Bikur Cholim. Hebrew through complete immersion in and we hope to encapsulate that energy the sick, the financially destitute, and For more information and to place ads the language. At its campuses in and spread it throughout other events the elderly. in the journal, please call 718-252-5722, fax Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, the language during the year that show our love of and Today, the organization has seen 718-758-0125, or e-mail commitment to the State of Israel.” exponential growth, with four flourish- [email protected]. O Continued on Page 46 A new logo conceived by famed graph- ic designer Milton Glaser, displaying the strong connection that many American Jews have to the State of Israel, will be featured prominently at the parade itself and on its website, www.celebrateisrael parade.org. The logo comprises the white, five-pointed star that appears on the American flag outlined in red and sur- rounded by a royal blue six-pointed Star of David. A second Star of David in light blue is placed behind the royal blue star at a 30-degree angle to create the appear- ance of a 12-pointed star radiating light. The words “Celebrate Israel Parade” in red and blue sit under the stars. “I wanted to depict the strong bond American Jews feel towards Israel and its people,” Glaser said. “The Celebrate Israel Parade makes the statement that we stand with Israel through thick and thin, and that the fates of our nations are linked. The shapes and colors in the logo represent the relationship of light to life.” JCRC-NY and the Israeli Consulate in New York kicked off the Celebrate Israel Project at a Baruch College event on March 6. Israeli Minister of Public Diplomacy and Diaspora Affairs Yuli Edelstein joined Israeli Consul General Ido Aharoni, JCRC-NY’s Executive Vice President and CEO Michael Miller and the Israeli hip-hop band Hadag Nahash for a night of celebration and music. O

Flatbush Satmar Bikur Cholim To Honor Prestigious Doctors, May 17 By Fern Sidman The ladies of the Flatbush Satmar Bikur Cholim are proud to be honoring three prominent physicians at their annual spring tea which will be held on May 17 at 7:30 p.m. at the Ateres Chynka Hall at 129 Elmwood Avenue in Brooklyn. Dr. Andrei Rebarber: Physician of the Year. Dr. Rebarber has achieved notoriety for his maternal fetal medical practice at Mount Sinai Hospital as well as holding the position of medical director for maternal fetal medicine at Valley Hospital in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Dr. Rebarber is also affiliated with such world famous organizations as A Time and Bonei Olam. Dr. Alfred (Aryeh) Rosenbaum: 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 45 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS answer questions, and have a Darkah: A Home With A These moods swings are far behave with others, having this Continued from Page 45 full classroom experience. Difference more severe than the usual ups illness often leads to unstable Different online tools such as By Miriam Turk, LCSW and downs of life that we all relationships. school conducts lessons on a audio and video media and Darkah is a transitional resi- experience. Relatives and associates of one-to-one basis, and in small Ulpan-Or’s interactive, online dence for frum women between The symptoms vary. For those with BPD need to know groups, providing students with newspaper, E-Tone, will all be the ages of 18-30 who are strug- some, these episodes may hap- that this is an illness, not a con- opportunities to listen to popu- utilized as part of the “immer- gling with bipolar and/or bor- pen a few times a year. For oth- scious attempt to get attention. lar Israeli music, watch current sion” teaching method Ulpan- derline personality disorder. ers, it’s a daily occurrence, often The chaos it wreaks in the suf- Israeli TV shows, read the news, Or employs to achieve speedy These young people who are destroying relationships with ferers’ lives is persistent. Most of and experience Hebrew in all results for its students. experiencing difficulty in mov- family members, co-workers, us experience fluctuations to forms of the language. Ulpan-Or has developed a ing on with their lives due to and employers. Bipolar disorder some degree, where a day Through WebYeshiva.org’s unique method of teaching their illnesses can learn the can thus be extremely disrup- includes both excitement and web-conferencing platform, called RLA—rapid language skills necessary to live inde- tive to one’s life. sadness. Borderline patients, Ulpan-Or will now be able to acquisition method—which pendently. Darkah’s residents The good news is that the however, are prey to these feel- reach audiences outside of focuses on communication and look just like you and me. They condition can often be held in ings on a frequent basis, and are Israel with its new online interaction in Hebrew, as may even be smarter and more check with medication and ‘controlled’ by them. Chaos course. The basic course lasts for opposed to more formal instruc- talented than the average per- ongoing therapy. Together they often reigns in their lives if they one month and consists of two tion, and has been the key to son. Their struggle is a private can help to regulate the swing- do not receive treatment. weekly sessions, totaling eight Ulpan-Or’s success and the suc- one, but greatly affects those ing moods, increasing the per- People with these challeng- online lessons. cess of its students. around them. son’s ability to live a productive, ing illnesses don’t often see, “My teacher was excellent, “Our method of teaching Bipolar, sometimes referred calmer, and emotionally fulfill- understand, or feel the reality of helpful, and very approach- Hebrew is effective because we to as manic depressive disorder, ing life. their inconsistent and distress- able,” said Aaron Hass, an alum- integrate all forms of media causes extreme mood swings Borderline personality disor- ful behaviors. Some may be nus of Ulpan-Or. “He truly into our lessons,” said Yoel which range from the lows of der is very challenging both for aware of how hurtful they are helped me improve my Ganor, one of the founders of depression (feeling sad and the people suffering with this ill- being, but most are not. We all Hebrew and motivated me to Ulpan-Or. “Learning through hopeless) to the highs of mania ness and for those around them. know how hard it is to recog- progress with the course. Israeli culture is the best way to (poor judgment, impulsivity, It is often difficult for its victims nize a flaw in oneself. Most peo- Learning with Ulpan-Or was an learn Hebrew. WebYeshiva.org and sometimes destructive to control their emotions, and at ple who have these poor emo- enjoyable experience.” is allowing us to bring a little behavior). times they interact with others tion-regulation skills also have The online course will take bit of Israel to students around Over 5.5 million people in in an abusive manner. Over 6 difficulty identifying and under- the form of a virtual classroom the world.” America have a chemical imbal- million Americans can be standing them. A person cannot in which the teacher and a For further information ance in their brains which caus- described as ‘predictably unpre- change what he can’t identify! small group of students will be about this unique program, es this disorder. It affects their dictable.’ Emotions can rapidly A disorder does not mean able to see and interact with please visit www.ulpanor.com moods, energy levels, and gener- flip from love to hate, creating a that the person is ‘crazy.’ It each other in real time, ask and and/or www.WebYeshiva.org. O al ability to perform normally. state of emotional turmoil. The means that his thinking works disorder is often described as ‘an differently. It is important to emotional roller coaster.’ understand that we are dis- BPD greatly affects how the cussing real illnesses which individual feels about him/her- affect the brain. They are dis- self. She often feels worthless, eases just as valid as asthma or flawed, and continually victim- diabetes. ized by those around her. Others After years of trying to ‘fix’ frequently report feeling misun- your daughter, cousin, spouse, derstood, empty, alone, and or friend, it is likely that you will hopeless. Since the way we feel continue to frustrate yourself about ourselves affects how we more than you will be able to

46 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES help the person. Instead, encourage her onsite psychiatric or therapeutic servic- to get professional help and consider es, we do have weekly group meetings medication, if indicated. This kind of with our social worker. These sessions assistance may result in the skills of inter- with the residents are opportunities to acting with others in a healthier manner talk about getting along, and to discuss and the ability to better regulate the events taking place in the house. We extreme moods. have a nightly curfew of 11:30, and In Darkah we hope to give the girls an although the girls are not required to tell opportunity to learn new ways to man- us where they are before that time, they age their emotions, and be able to live are aware that we appreciate knowing independently by gaining skills that they their whereabouts. can incorporate into their daily lives. We are often asked if people living Our home in Brooklyn can accommo- with bipolar or BPD can live a normal life. date six girls. To qualify for the program, They can, but not without a commitment the young women need to be in weekly to a treatment plan. These illnesses create individual therapy, meet monthly with tough challenges, but they don’t have to their psychiatrists to manage their meds, be insurmountable. It is indeed hard and have their days structured between work, but many such people have jobs the hours of 9 3 (e.g., work, school, day and families. treatment program). We hope that Darkah can be part of Darkah was founded by Sendy our girls’ journey to lead normal lives. For A ZAKA Jet Ski being prepared to join the search for the missing 11-year-old boy Ornstein, founder of Relief Resources, more information, please call Rabbi off a Haifa beach. and is neither a hospital nor treatment Chaim Steinmetz, executive director, at center. We aim to give our residents an 718-431-0539 or [email protected]. O opportunity to live outside of those set- meters. We fired a smoke grenade to alert zation with enhanced search and res- tings without being forced to live in situ- ZAKA Divers Find Boy Swept Away the divers, who swam to the area to cue abilities. Staffed by 268 profession- ations wherein relationships are often By Heavy Waves In Haifa retrieve the body.” al and amateur divers split into four very strained. Our goal is that after com- The ZAKA Divers Unit and the ZAKA ZAKA Divers Unit Commander Haim regional units, the volunteers receive pleting their stay with us, the girls will Sapir Jet Ski Unit were mobilized on Outmezgine said, “It is heartbreaking to specialist training four times a year, in have the ability to move on to a more chol hamoed Pesach to search for Mark find the body of such a young boy. search and rescue and lifesaving tech- self-reliant life Haimovich, an 11-year-old Haifa resi- Unfortunately, this is not the first time niques. The mainly secular volunteers Darkah has both a clinical director dent who was swept away on April 20 that we have managed to locate bodies include ex-Navy commanders, 10 and social worker on staff. Our by heavy waves at a Haifa beach. After at sea. With the summer bathing season women, and Israeli Arabs. ZAKA sup- overnight counselors are responsible, long hours of search efforts that used about to begin, ZAKA diving volunteers plements the divers’ own equipment warm, caring young women who pro- the combined forces of the Israel are trained and ready to assist wherever with special tools for search and res- vide support and companionship. police, Navy, and volunteers, the ZAKA needed, along Israel’s coastline.” cue, including oxygen tanks, ropes, Ongoing training for our counselors volunteer divers found the body the The ZAKA Divers Unit is one of four flares, underwater lights, and scooters, includes staff meetings and supervision. following day. specialist search and rescue units all provided by donations from sup- The clinical staff is available 24 hours on ZAKA Sapir Jet Ski Unit Commander (divers, Jet-Ski, Jeeps, and canine porters around the world. O an as-needed basis. Ilan Karni said, “We found the body units), which provide the UN-recog- Although Darkah does not provide between the rocks at a depth of about 5-6 nized humanitarian volunteer organi- Continued on Page 48

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 47 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Plotowski family that saved her. father and his family went back to Poland Fortunately, I was able to grab a small Continued from Page 47 For more information about this in December of 1945. For four years, his blanket with me when we were being event, call 212-564-9045 (ext. 306) or write family went from one DP camp to the dragged out the door. Being a young child Emunah Commemorates Holocaust to [email protected]. next with intentions of getting to has its advantages, I guess. “Legacy of Courage” Palestine, but in 1949 his family changed We were then put onto a train. A train Emunah of America and the Jossi The Legacy Of Courage: their plans and decided to go to America. without any windows. We were caged in Berger Holocaust Study Center, together Mr. Willy Englard Both he and his family arrived in the like animals. We couldn’t see where we with Hillel at NYU and the Bronfman By Shulamith Twersky United States of America on November 7, were going. We were closed in, with no Center for Jewish Student Life at NYU, TAG 12th-grade student 1949, aboard the S.S. General Taylor. light, no food, no heat, and no idea where invite the community to a Holocaust My grandfather, Willy Englard, was It is the courage of my grandfather we were going to end up. commemoration ceremony to take place born on August 20, 1935, in a Polish town that makes him a hero in my eyes. He I don’t know how long we traveled, on Monday evening, May 2, at 7:30 p.m. at called Sanok. When Poland was split in was uprooted from his home, survived maybe a few days or weeks, I couldn’t tell, the NYU Kimmel Center, Eisner & Lubin half, my grandfather lived on the German Siberia, and restarted his life all over but suddenly we were dumped into the Auditorium, 60 Washington Square side. My grandfather remembers when again. That takes courage. As Aflrieri center of a forest. Yes, dumped. We had no South in Manhattan. Admission is free. the Nazis, y’s, shaved off half of his once said: “Often the test of courage idea where we were. The forest was vast, The theme of the event is Legacy of father’s beard as an act of humiliation. He becomes rather to live than to die.” I the darkness so thick that we didn’t know Courage: A tribute to survivors and sav- remembers one particular Friday night; believe that my grandfather truly exem- which direction was out and which direc- iors—people of extraordinary courage, he noticed that the synagogue across the plifies this quote. He may not have gone tion would lead us deeper into our G-d- compassion, and conviction during street from his house was on fire. His par- through the camps, but Siberia was no made prison. I found out where we were mankind’s darkest hour. ents took hold of him and his two broth- picnic either. from a fellow traveler. Featuring Steve Moskovic (executive ers and started running somewhere, leav- Today, my grandfather is a retired Siberia. producer of the Kinderblock 66 documen- ing all their belongings behind. butcher who lives with his wife, Paulette The endless steppe. The land of ice. No tary and son of Alex Moskovic, survivor of After six months under the control of Moses, in Kew Gardens, New York. They one that I ever knew of survived Siberia. It Kinderblock 66), and Brad Rothschild the Germans, Germany opened the bor- have four beautiful children and many was Russia’s prison. We would be there for- (producer of Kinderblock 66), and a musi- der for anyone that wanted to go to the grandchildren. May he and his wife be ever, I knew it. There was no escape. cal presentation by Cecelia Margules. Russian side. Many Jews, including zoche to see many more descendants. The coldness was biting me, turning my Sylvia Rosencranz is the Legacy of Willy and his family, went to the A first-person account: I sat there, limbs numb. This was it. We were going to Courage awardee. Russian side in 1940, thinking that it under the tree, shaking with cold. It was die. I looked around at the countless bodies Winners of the Annual JBHSC essay was safer than the German side. The freezing. The ground was hard and covered that littered the area. I watched as more contest include three Torah Academy for Jews on the Russian side were taken in ice. The trees around us cast gloomy and more of my neighbors fell, giving up Girls students and one Yeshiva Ketana of away by the Russians as spies and sent shadows, making our surroundings all the the short fight for survival. I knew that my Long Island student. Shulamith Twersky to a forest in Siberia called Smyrna. more frightening. I hugged my thin blan- turn would be coming soon. (12th grade) wrote about her grandfather Winter was so cold that temperatures ket close to my body, desperate for I turned to look at my mother. She was Willy Englard (see below). Chana ranged between negative 10 degrees and warmth—as if that were ever possible. all I had. She was my support. As long as Pechman (11th grade) wrote about Dr. negative 50 degrees. How did we get here? Where were we? she was with me, I would survive. I would Moshe Katz, author of the book 9 out of Eventually the Russians let them move What was going on? I was so confused. make it my duty to survive. I watched her 10. Sara Shafer (9th grade) wrote a poem to Malishef. My grandfather and his fam- We had been eating our lunch when toss and turn on the hard ground, shiver- entitled “The Aftermath” and a short pro- ily stayed in Malishef until a few months guards stormed into our home. My father ing, freezing, dying. I would have to wit- file of Rav Yosef Friedenson, editor of Dos after World War II ended. Russia and was taken away, and my mother and I ness her departure from this world—I, her Yiddishe Vort. Avi Gelfand (8th grade) Poland made an agreement and let Polish were placed onto a truck. A truck that was wrote about Sylvia Richter and the citizens come back to Poland. My grand- packed with other people; my neighbors. Continued on Page 52

48 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 49 50 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES “This is ridiculous. We don’t even know if buys from elsewhere, he is obligated to they will be able to deliver the pizza. Try cover the store’s loss if they cannot sell the Pizza Delivery one more time, and if they don’t answer pizza to another customer. If they can sell it we’ll have to order from the other store.” to another customer, he is not legally obli- Mr. Pfeifer tried again, but the phone gated (Choshen Mishpat 333:8). Nonetheless, BY RABBI MEIR ORLIAN hung up. was still busy. “That’s it,” Mrs. Pfeifer there is a moral obligation not to cancel an BUSINESS HALACHA INSTITUTE “Abba, will they bring the pizza?” asked declared. “We can’t wait any longer. order unnecessarily (C.M. 204:7). the children. Please call the other store.” “However, all this applies when the The Pfiefer family had just put away “I’m not sure,” replied Mr. Pfiefer. Mr. Pfiefer called the other pizza shop. order is concluded. A person is under no their Pesach dishes. “They couldn’t promise delivery; they’ll “I’d like pizza delivered,” he said. “Can you moral obligation to honor an agreement “Thanks for all the help,” Mrs. Pfeifer send it if someone becomes available.” bring it in ten minutes?” to purchase if the price hasn’t been set- said to her family. “I couldn’t have done it “I hope they’ll be able to,” exclaimed “Sure,” said the man. “What would you tled yet (C.M. 204:6). Presumably, this without you!” the little one. like to order?” applies also if other terms of the sale “How about ordering pizza as a treat?” Fifteen minutes later, Mrs. Pfeifer turned “Two pizzas with olive topping,” Mr. haven’t been finalized (Pischei Choshen, suggested the children. to her husband. “Pinchas, we need to eat Pfeifer said. He gave his address and Kinyanim 1:2). “I think you deserve it,” said Mrs. soon. We can’t wait half an hour to find out phone number. “In this case, you explicitly stated that Pfiefer. She turned to her husband: Ten minutes later, one of the kids called you could not pick up the pizza; you “Pinchas, could you please call the pizza out excitedly, “The pizza scooter’s here!” placed the order on condition that it store and ask them to deliver two pizzas.” The doorbell rang. Mr. Pfeifer went to would be delivered. Since the pizza store “Can we have extras?” asked a child. “Here’s your pizza the door and saw the delivery boy from could not commit to delivering it, the “Fine,” Mrs. Pfiefer conceded with a the first pizza store! “Sorry for the delay,” order is not considered to be concluded. grin. order,” said the second said the delivery boy. “We’ve been The store should have called to notify Mr. Pfeifer dialed the pizza store. “I’d extremely busy.” you that they could deliver the pizza and like to order two pies with olive topping,” delivery boy, eyeing Mr. Pfeifer stood there dumbfounded, to confirm the order. he said. deliberating what to do. Meanwhile a sec- “Furthermore, even had the store com- “When would you like it?” asked the the first scooter ond scooter arrived. “Here’s your pizza mitted to delivering the pizza from the man in the pizza store. order,” said the second delivery boy, eye- beginning, if the delivery was delayed sig- “In 15 minutes,” said Mr. Pfiefer. with suspicion. ing the first scooter with suspicion. nificantly, you are entitled to order from “You’ll come pick it up?” asked the “Hold on a second,” said Mr. Pfiefer. elsewhere and cancel the first order.” [See man. “I’m going to get money.” He entered the Pischei Choshen, Sechirus 10(5).] O “No, I’d like it delivered,” said Mr. house, whipped out his BlackBerry, and Pfeifer. “I don’t have a car available.” that they can’t deliver, and then first order called Rabbi Tzedek. He quickly This article is intended for learning purposes and not to be relied upon halacha l’maaseh. There are “Give me your address and phone from elsewhere,” she said. “Please call and explained what had happened, and also issues of dina d’malchusa to consider in number,” said the man. find out what’s happening.” asked: “Do I buy the first pizza or the sec- actual cases. Rabbi Meir Orlian is a faculty member of the Mr. Pfeifer gave his address and phone Mr. Pfiefer tried calling the store, but the ond pizza—or do I have to take both?” Business Halacha Institute, which is headed by number. line was busy. He waited a few minutes and Rabbi Tzedek ruled: “You are not HaRav Chaim Kohn, shlita, a noted dayan. For “We are extremely busy now,” said the tried again, but the line was still busy. After required to accept the pizza from the first questions regarding business halacha issues, or to bring a BHI lecturer to your business or shul, man, “so I can’t promise delivery. I’ll send a few more unsuccessful tries, he exclaimed, store, even if it was a special order.” please call the confidential hotline at 877-845- it if a delivery boy becomes available.” “It’s a wonder I got through the first time. All After Mr. Pfeifer dealt with the delivery 8455 or e-mail [email protected]. To receive BHI’s free newsletter, Business Weekly, “How will I know . . . ,” Mr. Pfeifer I get now is busy, busy, busy . . . ” boys, Rabbi Tzedek explained: “If a person send an e-mail to began to say, but the man had already After half an hour, Mrs. Pfeifer said, places an order to make pizza and then [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 51 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS “Evenings of Inspiration” series. The topic Continued from Page 48 will be “Shivisas Katan: Our Children and Shabbos Observance” and will include a son. She was going to die. She would freeze Q&A session after the shiur. to death! We both were. Rabbi Simon, the Colonel Jehiel I hugged my blanket even tighter. My Elyachar Professor of Talmud at the blanket! If I was going to die, then my Yeshiva Program/Mazer School of mother was the one who deserved the blan- Talmudic Studies, received his semichah ket. I turned to look at my mother. She was from Yeshiva University’s affiliated Rabbi in so much pain. I could tell, even though Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary she wouldn’t admit it. I would just have to (RIETS) in 1988. A graduate of Yeshiva die faster, with a little more pain, but at University’s High School, Rabbi Simon least my mother would be warm. I removed earned his B.A., in Judaic Studies from my blanket and I wrapped it around her. Yeshiva College. Rabbi Simon was a fel- She looked up at me, smiled, and held out low of the prestigious Caroline and her arms. I ran into them and placed myself Joseph Gruss Kollel Elyon and a fellow of on her lap. We sat there, the two of us, the Katz Kollel. Rabbi Simon is a noted together. My mother wrapped in a blanket, L–R: Felice Soifer, Judi Bernstein, Nancy Stein, and Iris Maidenbaum. maggid shiur with over 1,800 shiurim and myself wrapped in her arms. Finally, I available on the YU Torah website. His was warm. O shiurim are known for extensive use of They will be honoring women of the Rabbi Baruch Simon At CBEY, packets containing as many as 40 differ- Beth Sholom Sisterhood years: Helene Zisholtz, Jane Shiff, and May 1 ent Torah sources per packet. Hat Show And Supperette, May 17 Wendy Ossensoser. There will be a hats Congregation Bais Ephraim Yitzchok, Rabbi Simon is also the author of a On Tuesday, May 17, at 6:45 p.m., the and jewelry boutique as well. more commonly known as the Island sefer of divrei Torah on the parashah enti- Congregation Beth Sholom Sisterhood For further details and to make reser- Avenue Shul, under the leadership of tled Imrei Baruch, which has been pub- invites women of the community to par- vations, call the shul at 516-569-3600 or e- Rabbi Tzvi Ralbag, welcomes Rabbi lished in numerous volumes. He recently ticipate in a hat show and supperette at mail Nancy Stein at nancyclstein@ Baruch Simon for a special shiur Sunday (2009) published his first volume of Imrei 390 Broadway in Lawrence. yahoo.com. O night, May 1 at 8:00 p.m. as part of the Baruch on halachah, which discusses the

Rabbi Baruch Simon

laws of eiruvin and reshuyos. Gil Student, president of Yashar Books, in his review of the Imrei Baruch at www.hirhurim .blogspot.com, offered the following description of Rabbi Simon: “Rabbi Simon is a walking encyclopedia of obscure rabbinic texts. When many of us learnt at Yeshiva University, Rabbi Simon was still known simply as ‘Baruch’ and was, in the ‘beis medrash,’ the local address for difficult Talmudic questions. Inevitably, he had already seen every question in one book or another and had the answer offered by that book’s author ready at his fingertips. He was not only the answerer of tough questions, he was also the gentle-mannered encourager of budding scholars, always ready with a smile and a kind, heartening word at every hour of the day and night. To his friends, and later students, Rabbi Simon was the perfect model of a humble confi- dence, the mark of a healthy spirit, and a profound concern for the physical and spiritual well-being of others.” O

Continued on Page 54

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? E-MAIL US AT [email protected]

52 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 53 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Training Academy at JFK early kind in the nation, is used to fighting techniques. Misaskim ication and coordination that Continued from Page 52 on Thursday morning. The train Port Authority police offi- volunteers expressed their Port Authority officials dis- facility, one of the largest of its cers in aircraft rescue and fire- admiration for the level of ded- played both prior to, and dur- Misaskim Sponsors Event ing the event. In addition to For Hundreds Of Yisomim countless meetings before- On April 21, hundreds of hand, the agency provided all children from Flatbush, Boro the technical details and per- Park, Williamsburg, Queens, sonnel to create a smooth, Long Island, Monsey, Monroe, memorable day for all partici- New Square, Lakewood, Long pants. At the facility, the chil- Branch, and Morristown par- dren witnessed a simulated ticipated in Misaskim’s chol burn in which the officers bat- hamoed outing designed to tled a blazing engine on the provide a day of reprieve for broken wing of a 75-foot long families who have suffered the aircraft. Next the officers dis- loss of a parent. Misaskim vol- played the specialized equip- unteers also participated at the ment, the powerful action that outing and it was a delight to needs to be taken, and the watch everyone interacting manpower used to extinguish together, creating one harmo- burning fuel during a rescue nious family. operation. The children were bussed in “My brothers are all excited to the Police Academy Rescue Participants in the Misaskim chol ha’moed trip to JFK Airport boarded a plane that was donated by Delta for the day. that they get to go to places that no other kid in their school will ever get to go to,” exclaimed a teen who accompanied her sib- lings on the outing. Following the simulated burn, the Port Authority provid- ed 15 buses to transport the crowd to a secure area where everyone toured the inner circle of the airport and had an up- close look at how planes took off and landed on the runways. Participants also boarded a Delta plane that was generously donated by Delta for the day. On the plane, kids reveled in the cockpit, stretched out in the first-class cabin, examined the galley, and fastened their seat- belts as they set out on their fan- tasy journey. In addition, the children had an opportunity to explore a private jet and an air ambulance that were brought in by another sponsor to further enhance the entertainment. Due to the high winds that day, the Port Authority arranged for Misaskim to trans- form a hangar into an auditori- um where the children were later served fruits, drinks, and snacks and were treated to three stunt shows with a tram- poline soaring over 25-feet high, jugglers, and a troupe of high-energy acrobats. “I just can’t wait for the next amazing trip,” one young partic- ipant commented. Misaskim coordinates chol hamoed outings twice each year with the assistance of its team of volunteers who devote their time and energy each time to ensure the success of the out- ing. It is with the assistance and support of these individuals that Misaskim remains at the forefront of innovating commu- nity services. O

The Legacy of Courage: Mrs. Sylvia Richter By Avi Gelfand Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island 8th-grade student Bravery can be found in places where no hope is left and when the worst atrocities occur. In the story of Holocaust sur- 54 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

vivor Sylvia Richter and her family, brav- Mrs. Richter’s father and uncles has a they began a new life in America. released from the New York Medical ery played a vital role in their survival. lot of connections with gentile farmers In this story, there are heroes who dis- Examiner’s Office to the funeral home Sylvia was born and lived in a small town and businessmen. The family moved to a played uncommon bravery in the face of only to be recalled when a woman claim- in Poland. She was a daughter of a rich small farm, owned by a friend of Sylvia’s terrible evil. The amount of courage that ing a legal relationship to the deceased family, so when the war broke out, it father, the Plotkowski family, where they the Plotkowskis displayed was unfath- protested that she should be in charge of came as a great shock to her and her fam- hid from the Germans. They slept in a omable. Imagine waking up every morn- his remains and that she wanted the body ily and shattered their peaceful way of small hayloft where they were given food ing thinking that this was the day that cremated. The M.E.’s office, after consult- life. The Nazis had begun their reign of ter- and drink daily. This special family knew you could be caught. Mrs. Richter’s moth- ing with the City’s Law Department, said ror. SS soldiers came and ransacked the the dangers of hiding Jews and yet they er also displayed an immense amount of that because of the dispute they would town of all its valuables. An SS officer had allowed them to stay. courage throughout their ordeal. She not release the body without a court moved into their house and he ate their In November 1943, the Plotkowskis saved Sylvia and her brother Danny, who order. Mordechai Biser, Esq., Agudath food, slept in their beds, and encroached heard stories of Poles being caught and went on to have children and grandchil- Israel’s general counsel, immediately on their way of life. Mrs. Richter started to killed for hiding Jews, and they told the dren of their own who all lead Torah- mobilized the Legal Network. New York realize what was going on. She was only family that they had to leave before observant lives today. attorney Michael (Moshe) Korsinsky, a lit- four years old at the time. Christmas. The searches for Jews Mrs. Richter remembered vividly igator at Korsinsky & Klein, LLP who spe- Nazi soldiers began herding the Jewish increased and the Plotkowskis could everything that had happened to her, and cializes in elder law among other areas of people into the local shul which was not bring them food. Sylvia’s father in 1991 she returned to Poland, found the practice, promptly agreed to take the case located on Mrs. Richter’s block. She went out to search for food and one day Plotkowski family, and brought the son, pro bono (free of charge). Working togeth- remembered her father telling her to wear he did not return. They waited anxious- Jan, back to America, where the family er with other attorneys, he was able to get baggy leggings and to fill them with bread. ly until finally Mrs. Plotkowski came to were honored and were added to the list a judge to sign a temporary restraining They snuck into the shul and distributed tell them the terrible news of their of Yad Vashem as righteous rescuers. order that stopped the cremation from the bread to the hungry people. While she father’s death. After this tragedy, the When I asked Mrs. Richter what mes- going forward, and at a court hearing he was there, she noticed that the beautiful Plotkowskis allowed them to stay. sage she would like to send to children succeeded in persuading the judge to ornaments that usually lit up the shul had For the next two years, they lived in today, she said: “Every year over twenty release the body to the parents. He was been taken. The shul, which previously fear of being caught and had many close books are written denying that the able to convince the judge that the had been such an amazing place, now had calls. At times, their biggest fear was not Holocaust really happened. This is a lie. woman did not have a legal relationship a dreary feeling and looked run down. of dying but of never again having any- The Holocaust really happened and six to the deceased and that the deceased This is one example of how the Holocaust one to talk to. One morning, Sylvia’s million people really died. The children wanted a Jewish burial. The funeral was came on so subtly and how people’s lives mother woke her up and said “Happy who died never had the ability to practice held Sunday, erev yom tov. O had turned around so quickly. Birthday” and allowed her to peek out of Judaism freely and the ability to live with- When Mrs. Richter and her family real- a tiny hole that she had made; “a tiny win- out fear of being killed or persecuted for ized the situation had become too dan- dow to the world.” She would often see your religion. Cherish the freedom that gerous, they got ready to leave. They Polish children playing outside. America gives you.” O Remember that article? decided to go to their grandparents’ One day Mrs. Plotkowski came and town. However, her father had been beat- told them, “You are free!” Sylvia’s mother Cremation Halted Thanks To Visit our archive section en for disobeying an SS officer’s com- did not believe her and they stayed Agudath Israel Legal Network and find any issue of the mand. So as he recovered, they left. When another few weeks until they finally On April 13, community activist Rabbi they reached their grandparents’ town, ventured outside. After saying goodbye Zvi Gluck contacted Agudath Israel with 5 Towns Jewish Times they saw that the situation was no better. and thank-you, they left and eventually an urgent matter—a Jewish man had died It was then that they decided that there made it to a DP camp. They applied for and his elderly parents wanted him to online @ www.5TJT.com was no choice but to go into hiding. visas and Sylvia’s mother remarried and have a proper Jewish burial. The body was

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 55 peculiar. What are the odds that Rami, the the Yabea Omer (EH 2:7:15) quotes poskim son of someone named “a date tree” (the that wrote that this dictum is basically translation of tamra) would marry a girl irrelevant nowadays. It was only for peo- whose father was Rami the son of “a date ple under the age of 20 who had the lux- tree” (the translation of dikuli). This leads ury of time on their side. Anyone over the Shita Mekubetzes to conclude that a twenty has a mitzvah to get married as scribal error crept into our editions of the soon as he’s ready and should not let this Talmud. The correct text should read custom interfere with his Biblical mitz- “Rami Bar Tamra who was also known as vah of getting married. Cautionary Customs Rami bar Dikuli.” In Aramaic the actual Rav Moshe Shternbuch (2:619) on the textual change amounts to a few letters. other hand writes that even if one is not There are many mysteries surrounding is that one should not marry a spouse According to this version, obviously no usually careful about the dictums of Rebbi Yehuda HaChassid. Questions about who has the same first name as his par- proof can be brought to the Noda Rebbi Yehuda HaChassid, he should be his life abound. Even his will has raised ent. A student of the Noda BeYehuda BeYehuda. As an aside, the Noda BeYehuda careful about this one. He writes that a many difficulties. Rebbi Yehuda asked his rebbe about a shidduch pro- said that he is surprised that he is often kollel yungerman once became very sick. Hachassid wrote in his will about a vari- posed for his sister-in-law with a talmid questioned about a girl marrying a talmid When he went to the Steipler for a bracha ety of different customs that the reader chacham who had the same name as the chacham with the same name as her and advice it emerged that his wife had should adhere to. Many customs that peo- girl’s father. The Noda BeYehuda encour- father but is rarely questioned about a girl the same name as his mother. The ple observe actually stem from this will. aged the shidduch and told his student marrying an individual who is an ignora- Steipler urged that his wife should To list three examples: 1. Two brothers that the family doesn’t have to worry mus in Torah. The latter is clearly forbid- change her name immediately. The wife shouldn’t marry two sisters. 2. You should- about the dictums of Rebbi Yehuda den by the Talmud which compares it to did so and then her husband fully recov- n’t close up a window in your house by HaChassid’s will. He offered a few rea- “tying up one’s daughter and placing her ered. He writes that in case of need, any- turning it into a wall. 3. You shouldn’t take sons. The first of them was that perforce before a lion.” one can use this solution of changing a haircut on Rosh Chodesh. the will was intended solely for Rebbi Many people nevertheless have a cus- one’s name to circumvent the problem. O There has been much written about Yehuda HaChassid’s descendants. He fore- tom to be stringent specifically regarding Rabbi Yehuda HaChassid’s will since his saw with divine inspiration that his fam- this dictum. However, many poskim Rabbi Sebrow leads a daf yomi chaburah at Eitz Chayim of Dogwood Park in West Hempstead passing in 1217. Was it intended solely for ily would not have success with such including the Minchas Elazar permit the and runs a high-school program in Brooklyn his descendants? Was it intended for all shidduchim therefore he discouraged it. It shidduch as long as the names aren’t called TIA–Torah In Action, designed to make Torah more exciting through weekly outings to of K’lal Yisrael? This debate still rages couldn’t have been directed for all of K’lal exactly the same. For instance, a talmid see halachah come to life. He can be contacted at today. As an aside, when the Mishna Yisrael because we see many examples of chacham named Rabbi Moshe Dov was [email protected]. Berura discusses the custom on not shav- things he forbade that were actually prac- permitted to marry the daughter of a ing on Rosh Chodesh, he writes, “Some ticed in the Talmud. Rabbi Moshe. A talmid chacham called places have a custom not to shave on The D’var Moshe says that one such Dovid was permitted to marry the daugh- Rosh Chodesh because Rebbi Yehuda example can be found in our Gemara. The ter of a Rabbi Dovid. He did this by decid- Deadline for Advertising HaChassid commanded them so.” This Gemara (Menachos 29b) relates that Rami ing that from then on he would use his in the Next Issue is language seems to indicate that an indi- bar Tamra, who was the father-in-law of full Hebrew name, Dovid Yonah. Some vidual who does not have a family cus- Rami ber Dikuli, had a question of are even of the opinion that a man may Tuesday, May 3 tom regarding cutting hair on Rosh whether or not his teffilin were pasul. It is marry a girl whose name is Sarah, which at 5:00 P.M. Chodesh does not have any obligation to obvious from the story that Rami married is the same as his own mother, but his follow the dictums of the will. a girl whose father had the same name as future wife will be called Suri. Call 516-984-0079 Another dictum mentioned in the will his own. However, the name seems a bit However, it is interesting to note that

56 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES tools, strategy, and information Israel Launches Compensation Initiatives that will enable the Government of Israel, Project HEART, and its partners to secure a measure of For Captive Soldiers And Holocaust Victims justice for eligible Jewish victims and their heirs—and for the B Y SAMUEL SOKOL British Mandatory authorities, by way of a soon-to-be-released chair of the Jewish Agency. Jewish people.” MIDDLE EAST CORRESPONDENT and residents of Mandatory database listing over 500,000 “Representing the interests of In addition to providing Palestine who were captured by pieces of property owned by Jews all around the world, the compensation for real estate The government of Israel has the Wermacht while fighting in Jews in pre-war Europe. This State of Israel views this effort and movable goods, the project launched two new initiatives to the British Army during the database, to be made available as our responsibility as a nation will also allow survivors to provide compensation to both Second World War. for public search, “will allow and as a people.” receive restitution for intangi- Holocaust survivors and the wid- According to the Jewish families to identify property The impetus for the forma- bles such as negotiable instru- ows of captive IDF servicemen, Agency, 40,000 Jews from the that had belonged to loved ones tion of the task force came from ments including stocks, bonds, it was announced this week. insurance policies, savings In a release published in the accounts, registered patents, Israeli press, the Ministry of and dowry policies. Defense issued a call for spouses The two government of security personnel who have This database “will allow families to announcements were seeming- died while in captivity to apply ly timed so that the initiatives for a compensation package identify property that had belonged to would be widely publicized dur- that was recently approved by ing the week prior to Holocaust the Knesset as an amendment Remembrance Day, which is fol- to the Law of Ransomed loved ones before the Holocaust.” lowed almost immediately in Captives 5765-2005. Israel by Memorial Day and According to ministry Deputy Independence Day. O Director General Brig. Gen. (Res.) Rony Moreno, the bill extends pre-state Yishuv served in the before the Holocaust so that the former Minister for Senior recognition to those who “died British Army, with 5,000 of them restitution process can be effec- Citizens and intelligence chief while in enemy captivity, hav- assigned to the Jewish Brigade. tively commenced,” the govern- Rafi Eitan, who is famous for his ing been in enemy captivity for Following the announcement ment declared. role in the capture of Holocaust Like us in print? at least 14 days.” After providing by the security services, the “Ensuring the victims of the architect Adolf Eichmann. documentation to the ministry’s Israeli government and Jewish Holocaust at least a small meas- Eitan currently heads the "Like" us on Committee to Recognize Agency detailed a new initiative ure of justice for the property pensioners party, Gil, which Ransomed Captives, the wid- to restore stolen assets to that was brutally stolen, looted, failed to reach the electoral Facebook. owed spouse will be eligible to Holocaust victims and their heirs. and expropriated from them threshold for entrance to the receive “a one time payment.” The program, known as under the Nazi regime is a cause Knesset in the last election, los- facebook.com/ The extension of recognition Project HEART, the global that demands our utmost dedi- ing seven previously-held seats. is applicable to IDF soldiers, Holocaust Era Assets Restitution cation so that these people and According to the task force’s 5TownsJewishTimes government employees, under- Taskforce, aims to reunite sur- their heirs are properly compen- website, “The ultimate aim of ground fighters against the vivors with their looted assets sated,” said Natan Sharansky, Project HEART is to provide the

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 57 always be a balance of world power, of Your Name,” poignantly depicts the his early life, but he managed to take Tragic Tehillim: which keeps the military ambitions of events of Kristallnacht (November 9, advantage of the chaos and disappoint- imperial Rome (Edom) in check. Even at 1938). The Nazis’ intention was not ment in Germany after World War I. He the height of Roman power, they never merely to destroy Israel, but to obliter- gathered together the military, industrial, Inspiration For dared to unleash their full measure of ate G-d’s Name from the face of the scientific, educational, and religious com- cruelty against the nations they con- world. Since the Jews are the symbol of munities into such a strong war machine quered, especially Israel (Midrash G-d’s sovereignty over the world, the that what he accomplished in nine Yom HaShoah Bereishis Rabbah). Nazis said (Tehillim 83:5), “Come, let us months took the Allies five years to During World War II, Germany dared cut them off from nationhood, so that destroy. When he attacked Russia, the BY ELLI EPSTEIN to unleash a full measure of cruelty the name of Israel will no longer be road from Berlin to Moscow was con- against Israel. It was a total war against remembered.” Wherever the word with quered in five months, but it took the The Book of Tehillim is replete with Jews. When one examines the details of the root nun aleph tzadi appears in Russians three and a half years to drive verses that communicate the story and the war leaders, the battles, and the atti- Tehillim, it translates as the wicked the Germans back to Berlin. With hash- events of World War II. As noted in the tude of Western civilization before and who blaspheme or scorn Hashem— gachah pratis, the Thousand-Year Reich introduction to Psalm 66 in the ArtScroll during the war years, the hashgachah which describes the Nazis. lasted twelve terrible years. Tehillim, “G-d’s intervention in the affairs pratis of Hashem becomes clear. Hitler Hitler thought that the destruction of During the war years, there were many of man is not mere speculation; it is could have won. the Jews would then enable him to con- times when Hitler, as described by histo- attested to by history, physically percepti- rians, was a hairbreadth away from victo- ble and irrefutable.” Tehillim 66:12 states, ry. It was as though Hashem said, “You “You mounted a mortal over our head. We can go so far and no further.” entered fire and water.” In World War II, As long as one Jew exists in the Hitler was the “mortal mounted” against The Many “Coincidences” the Jewish people. The ArtScroll com- world, then someone could point a Of World War II mentary points out that fire consumes Hashem runs the world in several and water sweeps away. Israel in exile has ways: through forces of nature (weather been subjected to the ravaging flames finger at him and say, “There is a G-d and geography), through “incidents” that and rushing floodwaters of torture and we call coincidence, and through mira- oppression, but miraculously has been who created and runs the world.” cles. All these forces can be found in read- neither consumed nor swept away ing any account of the war. Although the (Radak). During and after the war years, writers of these wartime accounts ascribe we asked, using the words of Tehillim the unfolding of events to chance and (80:5) “Hashem, how long will You fume Hitler declared war on the Jews, and quer the world and build a “Thousand- other forces, in reality they are attributa- at the prayers of Your nation? You fed the world joined in or stood by. His Year Reich.” The final goal was to declare ble only to the hand of Hashem. them bread of tears; You made them tears plan was to kill every Jew in the world; himself as god. He must have instinc- Every battle account contains descrip- in great measure.” to destroy every Jewish-owned build- tively realized that as long as one Jew tions of weather conditions—it was hot, Those are some of the Tehillim verses ing, whether synagogue, business, or exists in the world, then someone could cold, raining, snowing, muddy, windy, that we associate with World War II. But store; to destroy every book or piece of point a finger at him and say, “There is a cloudy, foggy, rough seas, or sandstorms. there is another side to the Shoah story. music written by a Jew. The verse in G-d who created and runs the world. His During the Dunkirk evacuation, the chop- The ArtScroll commentary on Tehillim Tehillim (74:7) “They have set Your Name is not Nimrod, Pharaoh, Haman, py English Channel was calmer than 140:9 states that G-d designed the blue- Sanctuary on fire to the very ground; or Hitler.” usual, and the local skies above were print of history so that there would they have profaned the Dwelling Place Hitler was not popular or successful in cloudy, preventing constant air attacks.

58 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The survival of the British Expeditionary finally held back for a few weeks. They stormy weather. Reluctantly, General Long-Range Hashgachah Force as a result of the evacuation was were stuck in the Russian mud. This inter- Eisenhower postponed the invasion for Long-range hashgachah pratis can be also considered one of Hitler’s mistakes. ference via weather is evidence of 24 hours. The weather continued to be a seen in the leadership during the ’30s and More than 300,000 British soldiers were Hashem’s hand, as it says in Tehillim problem. Finally the weatherman saw a ’40s. In 1940–1941, England was the only saved. Churchill said that an evacuation is (74:17), “Summer and winter, You fash- window of calm during the continuing thorn in Hitler’s Europe. During the ’30s, not a victory, but the saved lives gave a ioned them.” storm. Eisenhower then gave the signal many influential people in English socie- morale boost to the English people at a When the ground hardened, the army to invade. The meteorologists on the ty were sympathetic to Hitler. George VI critical time. returned to its original goal. Nothing the other side looked at the same charts, but succeeded to the throne in December 1936 Hitler’s main reason for attacking Russians did in attack or defense prevent- did not see the window of calm in the because his older brother, Edward VIII, Russia was to destroy the Jewish commu- ed the relentless march of the German storm. As conveyed in Tehillim (147:8), abdicated in order to marry the American nities there. He had a beneficial pact with army. In the beginning of December 1941, Hashem is the one “Who covers the heav- divorcée Wallis Simpson. Edward VIII dis- Stalin, by which he was getting supplies the forward units could see Moscow ens with clouds, Who prepares rain for played a partiality for Hitler and National of raw material needed for his war effort. through their telescopes. That night, the the earth.” Therefore, the Germans did Socialism. Edward might have influenced Yet Hitler chose to forgo this benefit in temperature went down far below freez- not expect an invasion on June 6, 1944. the appeasers to prevail in Whitehall over order to destroy Jews. The German army ing. That was as far as the army reached. Had they anticipated an invasion, the the unshakable defiance of Prime moved through Russia on three fronts Guns, the horses pulling the big guns, and Allies might not have succeeded in their Minister Winston Churchill. without any problems. For reasons which many of the men froze in the cold, since D-Day operation. Hitler had one question that hung over are not known to this day, Stalin was they were unprepared for those condi- Another turning point in the war was a him until the last day of his life: How totally unprepared, though he received tions. Once again, the intervention of battle that occurred six months after the could the capitalist United States unite warnings that Hitler planned to attack. Hashem is manifest in Tehillim (147:16): bombing of Pearl Harbor, midpoint in the with the British Empire and the commu- The original three army groups headed “He hurls His ice like crumbs; before His war (June 3–4, 1942), in the middle of the nist Russia to fight against him? for Moscow, the oil fields in the south, cold who can stand?” After the war, one Pacific Ocean, on the international time- According to Hitler’s logic, the fight and the industrial cities in the north. of the German generals said, “We lost the line, near Midway Island. This battle was should have been against Russia. For Jews, Suddenly, orders came to halt the main war due to General Mud, General Winter, once called “the Miracle of Midway.” The of course, it was the right alliance at the march to Moscow, and to divert the army and General Zukov.” Others have admit- Japanese were planning to destroy the right time. As soon as Hitler was defeated, instead to Bialystok and Minsk. This ted that the “racist” policies of the Nazis American navy. At that time, the Japanese the wartime alliance quickly changed. would be the equivalent of an army caused their ultimate defeat. had more ships, planes, and pilots at their Further hashgachah pratis can be seen invading America at that time heading for D-Day, a turning point in the war, took disposal than the Americans. Within 15 in the timing of technological develop- the Lower East Side, Williamsburg, and many months of planning. Much energy minutes of the planned attack, the supe- ments by the Germans throughout the Brownsville instead of Washington DC, was expended to build supplies and the rior Japanese armada, with its planes and war. Had Germany developed the V1 rock- the Texas oil fields, and northern industri- manpower to use these supplies. Success pilots, suddenly went up in flames. This ets, the jet engine, and the improved U- al cities. This order was attributed to of these human efforts all depended on miracle was realized by a few brave boat earlier in the war, history could have Hitler’s mistake or meddling. whether the moonlight and the tide American pilots who had relatively poor been different. They were even working On September 30, 1941 (Yom Kippur), would allow an invasion to be carried equipment, compared to the Japanese. on the atomic bomb until the last min- the Nazis committed the atrocities at out. An allusion to this can be seen in Years later, the events were attributed to utes of the war. Babi Yar. Thousands of kedoshim were Tehillim 136:9, “The moon and the stars to the Americans doing everything right and shot and left in a mass grave. Bullets that the reign of the night.” the Japanese making mistakes. A recent Victory, But No Day Of Celebration could have been used against an army When the final plans for D-Day were description that detailed the events of When all the nations who “conspired were used to kill Jews. In October, the about to be made, all eyes were not on that day stated that the victory was the with one mind to strike a covenant winter rains came sooner and were heav- the generals or the admirals, but on the result of “uncoordinated coordination.” ier than normal. The German army was meteorologists. The forecast was for In other words, hashgachah pratis. Continued on Page 62

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 59 told this rabbi about a young woman in The appointment was scheduled for 9 his community who had been separated o’clock, and by 4 o’clock the next morning Worth The Wait from her husband for 13 years and had the husband still had not shown up. He been unable to obtain a get. She wasn’t did call the rabbi twice, hoping he would particularly religious but knew that no say, “Forget it, it’s too late, the witnesses From The Other Side Of The Bench stories I’ve heard in a while. I share it mainstream rabbi would marry her in the have gone home.” At approximately 4:15 B Y DAVID J. SEIDEMANN, ESQ. with you because I believe the lesson is future without a get, and she did want to a.m., as the rabbi slept at his office desk, so profound. make her parents, who were Orthodox, the phone rang again. “If the witnesses A few weeks ago I wrote about an 85- Just hours before I heard the story, I happy, as it was their desire that she are still there I’ll come. I actually tried to year-old Holocaust survivor who would recited the Yizkor memorial prayer in obtain a get. come but I got lost, and besides, I’m sure be making his annual trek to Lawrence memory of my mother and lamented According to this rabbi on the East the witnesses aren’t there anymore. So, to spend the holiday with the children over the fact that she had not been able Coast, the husband had just relocated to rabbi, thank you very much, but I guess and grandchildren of the man with to witness and enjoy the accomplish- the other rabbi’s town, and the East Coast it’s just not meant to be.” whom he survived the Holocaust. We ments and milestones of my children rabbi wanted this Midwestern rabbi to “On the contrary,” said the rabbi, “the reached out to his hosts and invited whom she had never met. put pressure on the husband to finally set witnesses just arrived. I’ll jump in my car them for one of the yom tov meals last and pick you up.” The rabbi quickly week. It was a night that left an indeli- picked up the witnesses (who had actual- ble impression on all those gathered ly long since gone home) and brought around our table. them back to his office. He then drove to Just as inspiring were the first days of “Nonsense,” said the rabbi from the pick up the husband and returned to Passover, as we joined with friends in complete the get before sunrise. New Jersey and another family from Midwest. “She probably hasn’t With the process complete, he Baltimore. The head of the household phoned his colleague on the East Coast from Baltimore and I go back almost 40 at 6 o’clock in the morning and told years, when we crisscrossed the Catskills slept in 13 years. Call her and tell him to call the woman who had been organizing Shabbatons for Jewish youth waiting 13 years for her freedom. “But in Liberty, Ellenville, Monticello, she is probably sleeping,” said the East Woodridge, Woodbourne, South her the news.” Coast rabbi. “Nonsense,” said the rabbi Fallsburg, and any other town where we from the Midwest. “She probably hasn’t could find a few Jewish kids who were slept in 13 years. Call her and tell her thirsting for some religion. We remi- the news.” nisced and shared stories of those memo- Some efforts reap immediate reward, his wife free. The rabbi presented himself Years later, the rabbi from the rable days. some are actualized after a few years, at the husband’s place of employment Midwest received a letter from the On the last day of the chag, we enjoyed and some are never to be seen except and threatened to stand on a chair and woman (whom he had never met) lunch with the son of one of America’s from the vantage point of the World to announce to the crowd how this man thanking him for setting her free. Two most noteworthy rabbis. I had attended Come. This rabbi saw the fruits of his had chained his wife for the last 13 years. months after receiving the get, this now high school with the son and it was simi- labors not immediately but some 35 Reluctantly, this non-religious man middle-aged woman decided to recon- larly good to reminisce with him about years after he toiled. agreed to present himself at the rabbi’s nect with her parents and, with much our days together in the 1970s. He shared He was in his study one night when he study the following night so that the urging on her parents’ part, decided to with me a story about his father which I received a call from a colleague on the rabbi, in front of two witnesses, could join them for a Shabbos. believe to be one of the most inspiring East Coast. The rabbi on the East Coast write the get. She had never gone to shul when she

60 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES was somewhat Orthodox growing up in her home. But for some reason—again, after much urging—this woman attended synagogue services that Shabbos morn- ing. After services, she met a middle-aged divorced man, and within months they were married. Some 18 years later, this same rabbi from the Midwest was asked to convene a beis din for the purposes of writing a get in a city a few hours’ drive from his home- town. The local rabbi arranged to have two Orthodox Jewish males to serve as the witnesses for the writing of the get. When the procedure had concluded, one of the witnesses, a 17-year-old yeshiva boy, went over to the rabbi and asked him if he was the same rabbi who had helped procure a get for a certain woman some 18 years before. At first the rabbi did not recognize the name, but when the lad reminded him that the woman had lived on the East Coast and had been trying for 13 years to obtain a get, the rabbi remembered and answered in the affirmative. “Yes, I wrote the get, but I never met the woman. Although I do remember receiving a thank-you letter from her.” “Well, I want to thank you as well,” said the 17-year-old, “because within months after receiving her get she recon- nected with her parents, went to shul that one Shabbos, met a man, got mar- ried, and gave birth to me.” “I’ll tell her I met you,” said the boy. “She’ll be thrilled.” The story spans almost 35 years, but, in the words of the rabbi, it was worth every minute. O

David Seidemann is a partner with the law firm of Seidemann and Mermelstein and serves as a professor of business law at Touro College. He can be reached at 718-692-1013 or [email protected].

Every man shall fear his mother and his father (Vayikra 19:3)

And in Sh’mos 20:12 it says,“Honor your father and your mother.” For it is revealed and known to G-d that a person adores his mother more than his father, and that he fears his father more than his mother. G-d therefore set the honor of one’s father first, and the fear of one’s mother first, to emphasize that one must honor and fear them both equally.

(Talmud, Kiddushin 31a)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 61 Tragic Tehillim Continued from Page 59 against You” (Tehillim 83:6) will mock us with the question, “Where was your G-d?” We can say, “All this emanated from Hashem, it is wondrous in our eyes” (Tehillim 118:23). The ArtScroll commen- tary on this verse explains: When Israel is catapulted to glory and tranquility in the future, the nations who persecuted the Jews will ask in surprise, “Aren’t these the very Jews who were once despised and afflicted?” The Jews will respond, “We are even more amazed than you are, for only we know the depth of degradation we suffered.” Then a heavenly voice will pro- claim, “This has emanated from G-d.” A parable: During Hitler’s early rise to power, he gave his usual speech in which he vowed to destroy the Jews, since in his words they were responsi- ble for Germany’s defeat in World War I and the chaotic economy following the war. He received a rousing ovation from the crowd. A Jew who stood in back of the hall continued to applaud longer than the rest of the crowd. Someone asked him, “Why are you clapping? Don’t you know that he means to carry out his plans?” The Jew answered, “Once Pharaoh tried to destroy us and now we celebrate a beautiful Passover holiday. Haman tried to destroy us and now we celebrate a happy Purim day. The Greeks tried to destroy us and we celebrate by lighting candles during the eight nights of Chanukah. I am clapping for the day that Hitler will be defeated. I am look- ing forward to what a great holiday we will enjoy.” Hitler was ultimately defeated. We do not have a day to celebrate the victory. It has become part of Tishah B’Av and Yizkor services. There is an official Day of Remembrance on the 27th of Nissan. There are museums and memorial plaques in many cities and countries. But the real celebration occurs every day of the year, whenever there is a b’ris, a Kiddush for a baby girl, a bar mitzvah or bas mitzvah, a couple standing under the chuppah, a new yeshiva opens or expands, a new sefer Torah is written, or even a Jewish burial. All these events are a true victory celebration over Hitler. The Jew who was standing in the hall applauding Hitler’s ultimate defeat can continue to do so today and until the ulti- mate coming of Mashiach. O

Elli Epstein was born in Cologne, Germany. She and her parents came to New York in 1938. She currently resides in Ocean, N.J. Mrs. Epstein is writing a book on hashgacha pratis in World War II. She can be reached at [email protected].

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62 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Arson Delays Grand Opening At Seasons Massive Vandalism News From The Hills and we sit down to the Seder, I relax and against Israel and Jews worldwide. And at At Seasons Kosher BY CHANITA TEITZ enjoy the yom tov. By the time Pesach this time of year, with Yom HaShoah com- ends, I wouldn’t mind if it lasted a little ing up, we are reminded about the worst Supermarket On Tuesday night, motzaei Pesach, I longer. But here it is and now we’re think- anti-Semitism in history. So let’s think was expecting to go to the grand opening ing of Shavuos and summer, camp and about geulah as a reality for our times and BY SANDY ELLER of the new Seasons supermarket the next vacations, and, of course, warm weather. for ourselves. The question remains, “How morning. The opening was scheduled for My husband asked me a good question will I prepare myself to greet Mashiach?” The highly anticipated opening of 10 a.m. But late that night, I got a call from right before Pesach: If I knew that the newly renovated Seasons flagship my daughter that Seasons would not be Upcoming Events kosher supermarket in Kew Gardens opening on Wednesday as planned: there Yom HaShoah Observances Hills has been postponed, following a had been a fire there on Pesach. If I knew that Saturday night, April 30 at 9:45 p.m. at criminal act on the seventh day of Wednesday morning, I went to Mashiach was definitely the Young Israel of Hillcrest with guest Pesach that destroyed both the inven- Seasons at 9:30 to see what was going on. speaker Caroline Glick and featuring Mrs. tory and much of the actual store. The fire department was there as well as coming, how would Eva Lux Baum. several employees and managers and the Sunday evening, May 1 at 5:30 p.m. at owner, Mayer Gold, waiting for the insur- I change myself? the Young Israel of Forest Hills. This year’s ance adjuster. program includes an exhibit called The men poured I spoke briefly with Mr. Gold and he “Auschwitz Album” provided by the assured me that Seasons would open as Mashiach was definitely coming next American Friends for Yad Vashem. It will flammable liquid into soon as possible. Late on Wednesday Pesach, how would I change myself and continue to be on display at the Young the vents, which they afternoon, one of the sales agents in my how would I prepare myself? Israel through Sunday, May 8. office received a call that Seasons was Since we don’t know for sure when Sunday night, May 1 at the Young Israel then ignited. open and people were there. So I went Mashiach will get here, we might dismiss of Kew Gardens Hills at 7:30 p.m. featur- back that evening, but there was no one this question as irrelevant. But we are ing a History Channel portrayal of the there, just a sign on the door stating that supposed to long for Mashiach and Bielski Brothers. Also featuring author due to circumstances beyond their con- expect him every day, so it really is a good Leon Gleicher and Moti Lax. Security cameras caught two trol, the management had to postpone question. Especially after Pesach, when Job Fair. There will be a job fair and unidentified men climbing a ladder the opening of Seasons. we have had eight days talking about geu- conference sponsored by Connect To onto the roof of the Main Street store N N N lah, redemption, was it just lip service or Care on May 11 from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. at 5 a.m. on Monday. After removing I was hoping to find the store open so do we really want the geulah to come? at the Central Queens Y, 67-09 108th Street vent covers from the roof, the men I could pick up something for dinner, Just before Pesach I received a chain e- in Forest Hills. For more information, call poured flammable liquid into the since my house is totally wiped out of mail that around the world there is a grow- 718-224-0566 or go online to vents, which they then ignited. In- food. I served between 15 and 24 assorted ing empathy to Muslim sensitivities. In www.sfy.org/connecttocare. O store sprinklers were activated in family members for each yom tov meal, England, for example, there are plans to response to the fire, extinguishing the and there is barely a leftover in the fridge. remove studies of the Holocaust from the Chanita Teitz is a real-estate broker at Astor fire and dousing the store for the All through the Pesach preparations I curriculum in deference to Muslims who Brokerage with offices in Kew Gardens Hills and Fresh Meadows. For all your real-estate needs in kept saying, “Pesach will be over in a are offended by it. On Facebook there are Queens, call 718-263-4500 or e-mail Continued on Page 64 blink of the eye.” And it is. Once it’s “in” still pages calling for a third intifada [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 63 Vandalism On Wednesday, instead of being Continued from Page 63 filled with bustling customers restock- ing their pantries with chametz, whole day. An alert passerby noticed Seasons was filled with arson investi- water pouring out of the store after gators and crews from the insurance Ma’ariv on Monday night and called 911. company, who are all hard at work

Part of the destruction at the Seasons supermarket in Queens.

“The sprinklers ran for approximate- investigating the crime and preparing ly 15 hours, resulting in over half a mil- to repair the damage to the store. lion dollars’ worth of damage to the Seasons management hopes to know store,” said general manager Mayer soon when the new grand opening Gold. “At first we thought maybe it was will take place. a broken pipe or a water main, but we Seasons has three other locations—in were able to see exactly what happened Scarsdale, in Lawrence, and on the Upper thanks to the security cameras.” West Side of Manhattan. (VIN News) O

64 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

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Handyman + General Maintenance + [email protected] Electrical, Plumbing, Carpentry, Appliances, Insulation, Drywall, Doors, Windows & Much More. Include payment info. Call 516-417-8042 66 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE HELP WANTED FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR SALE

Local Five Towns/Far Rockaway Girls North Woodmere — New to market. Century Village, Deerfield, FL — North Woodmere — Decorator’s Dream. Day Camp seeks experienced female Custom 6BR (4 on one level), new gran- Closest to YI. 2BR, 1.5bth. All new SS Beautiful bi-level, large granite kosher specialty heads for this coming ite kitchen, LR, FDR, 2 dens, quiet tree- appliances, new A/C, tiled throughout, EIK, FDR, large LR, den, 4BR, water- Summer 2011. Positions available are: lined street. Walk all shuls. . . . . $679K painted, move-in ready. Priced to sell. view, all systems, walk all shuls. Owner music (keyboard required), aerobics, Owner. 516-902-8908 Karen 516-466-6790 motivated. Present all offers. ceramics, dance, sports, and karate. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Certified Lifeguards also needed for Lawrence/Far Rockaway — For sale by owner girls going into 11th grade and up. 833 Central Ave. Spacious 1 BR, light and Walk to Irving Place Minyan Amazing Jerusalem Home: German Please call 646-226-9938 for further bright, doorman/elevator building, walk Dutch Colonial. 4-5BR, 3.5bth, all Colony — 8 rooms, 3 levels, 212 meters, information. all. Price reduced ...... $179K remodeled, Granite kitchen, FDR, fami- renovated, garden, including additional 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 ly room, all new bathrooms, finished studio apt. $1,800,000 flexible, more Financial Planning — Includes debt basement, two staircases, In-ground properties available. Yaniv Gabbay Lawrence — Gracious brick c/h col. LR restructuring, budgeting, expense analy- sprinkler, alarm, IGP, New Roof Re/max Vision 011-972-52-614-1442, gab- with fireplace, FDR, large EIK, den, sis for reduction, analyzing income hur- 4-5 blocks Irving Place Minyan, 1 mile [email protected] dles for the future, (from job losses, 4BR (1 level), 3bth, finished basement, Young Israel Cedarhurst/Lawrence, 1 growing debt, to planning for the great location, quiet block . . . . . $895K mile Young Israel Woodmere . $785,000 Woodmere — MIC. 3BR. 1.5 new bths. future) 845-323-7913 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 Owner 516-569-2295 Split. Fin bsmt. EIK. New appl. New siding. Hrdwd flrs. CAC, 4 zone heating. Bayswater — Updated Victorian. 11ft. 5 Towns Area Boys’ Yeshiva seeking Cedarhurst: Co-op. 1st Flr, large LR, Nanny CCTV. Oversized lot. Low taxes. ceilings, original moldings, 8,486SF liv- middle school General Studies teacher FDR, EIK with new appliances, 2BR, Walk to all ...... $549K ing area. On 8,816SF land. Use as legal for ‘11-’12 school year. M-Th from 2:00- 2bths, hw floors, Terrace. Views of Owner: 516-295-1675 2- or large 1-family. Reduced! 4:30. Please send your resume to Gdns, W/D, Lo maint, Grt. loca’n, Walk Joe Hersh, Noam Realty 212-431-1234 [email protected] all. Asking...... $319K Hewlett — 4BR cape, wood floors, EIK, updated bath, large finished playroom, Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! 5 Town Homes 516-569-5710 5 Towns Area Boys’ Yeshiva seeking block from YoSS, owner sacrifice $299K 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, (male) experienced Math teacher for Miami Beach, Florida — 2BR, 2bth, Call 347-539-1332 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, Junior High School for ‘11-’12. Afternoon beautiful 15-floor views, circular ter- clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space hours, Monday-Thursday. Please send race, high ceiling, For sale or long term parking, 2 family, professional use, your resume to rental ...... $389K COMMERCIAL REAL accountant, Esq., medical and/or educa- [email protected] Call 917-797-5774 ESTATE FOR SALE tional and religious uses. Grand colonial with charm and great possibilities. 5 Towns elementary boys school looking Why only spend Pesach in Florida? Available at once . . . $875K Negotiable for General Studies teachers for ‘11/’12 Perfect for Vacation Home or Year- Cedarhurst — Commercial Condo For Owner 516-322-3555 school year. Please fax resume to Round Residence! Bay Harbor Island, Sale by Owner 516-368-9199 FL— 2BR/ 2bth condo plus Bonus 1,500 SF ground floor professional condo Hewlett — Col. MIC, 4br, 2bth, 2fpl, full Room! Shows like a 3rd BR! Kosher with basement. 2 Blocks from LIRR and Jewish not-for-profit in 5 Towns area deck, wood flr, Lg. den. Walk to all. updated kitchen, Remodeled bathrooms Central Ave. Plenty of parking . . $450K seeks experienced part time bookkeeper ...... $729K with glass countertops and vessel sinks, Own for less than rent. with expertise in Excel and Quickbooks. 5 TOWN HOMES 516-322-3555 netilat yadayim sink in dining room, Call Owner 917-836-6838 Knowledge of Infograsp and/or Rakefet Huge closets, Eruv, Walk to shuls, a plus. Please send resumes to Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth kosher shops and beach, a real bargain Cedarhurst — Medical/Professional [email protected] Lr/Dr, Walk to All ...... $179K at ...... $228K! Building for Sale Call 516-322-3555 For info and pics: www.bayharborcon- 3,500 SF, Located in the heart of do.com or call Tami at 305-322-8264 Cedarhurst, will build to suit. REAL ESTATE 5 Town Homes 516-569-5712 Asking ...... $950K FOR SALE Cedarhurst: NU 2 Mkt. Lg LR, DR, Five Towns — Woodmere, Church Owner 917-836-6838 EIK, Den, 5BR, 3bth, Skilits, Cabana, Avenue Lg prop, IGPool, Walk to all . . . $659K Completely renovated CH colonial in Howard Beach — Co-op 2BR, 2bth, 2004/05. Hardwood floors throughout. COMMERCIAL REAL totally renovated. Maintenance includes Far Rockaway — 2 Family. All NU, 8BR, 5 full baths, custom kosher EIK, gas, electric, heat and parking space. 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great stainless steel appliances, FDR, home ESTATE FOR RENT Great buy. Asking ...... $150K Location ...... $599K office, full finished basement, kids’ 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 Call 516-322-3555 game room & home gym and so much more. Asking $1.5 For more information Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq. ft., fully Cedarhurst — First show. LR, FDR, Cedarhurst — New construction. First & virtual tour visit www.abcwoodmere- wired for Web, partitioned, will divide. new EIK, 4BR, 2 new bths, finished show. Col. 9’ ceilings, 5BR, 2.5bths, full house.com. Call 516-640-8646, e-mail Call 516-322-3555 basement, cream puff condition, quiet basement, on quiet tree-lined street. [email protected] street, walk all, low taxes . . . . . $500's Call for details ...... $799K Three newly decorated offices available Co-op For Sale or Rent 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 for sublet on Central Avenue. Double Cedarhurst — Mint 1BR, new kitchen, office “Suite”, 9’x11’ & 9’x15’. The third elevator, $135K for rent ...... $1,700 Jerusalem — Ramot Beit — Large ren- Hewlett — Beautiful 5 BR, 3 bths, split. office is 10.5’x13’. Available furnished or Cedarhurst — Mint Jr4, new EIK, new ovated home + Separate unit. 7BR, 3.5 All updated, in SD#14. Separate unfurnished. 24 hour access. Includes bths, laundry rm, terrace, 1st flr $239K full bath, 3 space parking, garden entrance can be M/D with proper per- A/C, alarm, utilities, internet, cleaning Woodmere — Lg 2BR, 1st flr, presti- ...... $1.050K mits. Owner motivated, reduced. service. For more information please gious elevator bldg...... $339K 972-54-4637720, 972-2-6232680, ...... $499K call Renee at 516-569-4949, ext. 104. Lawrence — 2BR, 2 bth, 2nd flr [email protected], 5 Towns Home Realty 516-569-5710 ...... $135K-$189K www.ramotrealestate.co.il Cedarhurst — 1st show. New exclusive Woodmere, Woodsburgh, N. Woodmere Cedarhurst — Office rental: Executive Property no. 1220 regal 2 family, brick, all new, LR w/ by appt 2 Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., fireplace, FDR, large kosher EIK, 3BR 2 Prospect Ave. — C/h col 3BR+ fin- CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555 Jerusalem — Ramat-Eshkol each apt, c/ac, alarm, basement, great ished attic lg property ...... $600’s 3 apt, 2 of 3BR + 1 of 1BR, 3 space location. Walk all...... $759K 1039 Magnolia Pl. — 4BR split, kosher 2 offices for lease. Can separate. Central parking. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 EIK, beautiful cul-de-sac ...... $700’s Ave Loc. Back entrance to Muni Lot. 3BR ...... $565K each 943 Park Lane — Grand 5BR col den Beautifully maintained building. 1BR ...... $340K Lawrence — Ours Alone!! basement ...... $699K Windows. Utilities, internet, and cleaning [email protected], Brick, C/H COL, Stately brick, w/old 847 Ivy Hill Rd. Woodsburgh — 6BR service included. Drastically reduced! Weissman Realty, LLC 516-791-6100 www.ramotrealestate.co.il world charm, Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 bths, exp ranch on magnificent property Property no 1219 Kosher EIK, Lg. FDR, Library, Fin...... $998K 72 Willow Rd. Woodsburgh — Exp. Bsmt., Lg Prop., walk all. Cedarhurst office for rent— 2 small Lawrence — Luxury 2BR Co-op apt for Ranch on beautiful 2/3 acre . . . . $895K offices on Central Ave. 1 flight up, C/H, 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 sale. First floor, parking available, 656 Colfax Pl. N. Woodmere — 4+ BR C/A. Call owner 917-417-5725 must see!$169K Please call 718-873-5422 multi-level...... $529K Oceanside — Brand new construction. Far Rockaway — Open House: Beautiful CH col. Large 4 BR (1 level), Inwood — New to market. Charming 1056 Neilson St. — Apts For Rent. New Victorian on quiet tree-lined street with 2.5 bths, granite EIK, FDR, den with fp, Construction. Beautiful 2BR, 2 bths. Classified Ads are water view. 7BR, great for large family. full bsmt, in cul-de-sac, walk all, best 12-1:30 p.m. A must see!...... $529K price ...... $675K Milky Forst Properties, Inc. Continued on the Next Page. 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 516-239-0306 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 67 BUSINESS FOR RENT FOR RENT OPPORTUNITY MISCELLANEOUS

Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, Lawrence — Coop Rental. 1BR. 1NU Business opportunity for individual Helping poor brides is a big z’chus to 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. Bth, LR, DR, EIK...... $1,300 familiar with Facebook. We are looking find a shidduch! Donate to Yad P’sucha Call 516-322-3555 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710 to build our fanbase through social net- Hachnasas Kallah. Call 718-972-3699 working with incentives and giveaways. Far Rockaway Apartment Rentals: 1, Oceanside — House for rent. Beautiful Yeshiva of South Shore has some mem- 2, and 3 BR available, completely reno- ranch. 2/3BR, large LR with fireplace, Commission based. bership openings in its burial society. vated, 24 Hr Doorman, Large LR/DR DR, granite EIK, on oversized fenced E-mail [email protected] By purchasing an individual, couple or property, walk South Nassau Hospital area, Close to LIRR. family membership, you will be ensured and houses of worship. Become an Acai Berry Juice distribu- Weissman Realty, LLC 516-791-6100 of select plots in one of several New 5 Towns Homes Realty tor and earn commission immediately. York area cemeteries of your choosing. Call Edi 516-728-2977 Far Rockaway — Large, bright 3BR, Online trainer, work from home, no For more information on burial society 1.5bths apt in 2-family house. Great Hewlett — House for rent. Updated investment, e-mail [email protected] membership, contact Eliezer Allman at location off Reads Lane . $2100 includes 3BR, 2bths, new EIK, SD#14, walk all. 347-417-3777 or [email protected] heat and parking. Available immediately ...... $2,600 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Call 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 LEGAL NOTICES Deadline for Cedarhurst — Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. VACATION Oversized 1BR, 1Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat Classified & prk incld...... $1,600 RENTAL Not. of Form. of 80-12 Jamaica Ave 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Realty LLC. Art. of org. filed with Advertising Alexander Hotel, Miami Beach — 2BR Far Rockaway — 1BR, newly renovat- SSNY on 04/01/11. County: Nassau. ed, 2 blocks from LIRR. Great location. apt. Breathtaking views, 2bths, southern SSNY is designated agent of LLC to in the 3rd floor of building. Asking. . . . $1,150 exposure, 10th floor. Available for Pesach. whom process be served. SSNY may Call owner 917-836-6838 Priced right! 516-581-2058, 516-374-4001 mail a copy of any process to LLC, 779 next issue is Shore Rd, Long Beach, NY 11561. Any Vacation Village — 2 fl, 4 BR, LR, 3 Cedarhurst — All updated charming legal act or activity Monday, new bth, playrm, WD, beautiful view Col. New granite EIK, FDR, LR with July/Aug 516-967-8370 fireplace, 4+ BR, CAC, in the heart of Not. of Form. of Sugar Hill Fund May 2 Cedarhurst. Walk all. Holding LLC. Art. of org. filed with Call 5 Towns Homes 516-569-5710 LOST AND FOUND SSNY on 03/18/11. County: Nassau. at 5:00 PM Lawrence — Newly-restored manor SSNY is designated agent of LLC to Call house. Cent’l location. Hi Ceilings. Wd whom process be served. SSNY may Floors. 4 large BR, Library, FDR, EIK, Diamond bracelet found on Penninsula mail a copy of any process to LLC, 29 516-569-0502 Den. New chef’s kitchen...... $4,250 Blvd. a few Shabbosim ago. Frost Lane, Lawrence NY 11559. Any 516-316-3176 Call 917-693-8003 legal act or activity

68 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Your Ad Solution To Previous 5TJT Puzzle: Could Be Here. At The Seder Call 516-569-0502

Puzzle appeared on page 91 of the April 15 issue.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 69 5TJT Puzzle: Sefirah Sounds

BY YONI GLATT

Across 62. Some anesthetics, once 1. Setting bait 63. Late bid 9. Foul ball, e.g. 64. Street for Murray and Ovejita 15. Exclamation of certainty, most likely 65. Rational from a Brit 16. Salary Down 17. “Pure” 53-Across group? 1. Expand 18. Rascals 2. Swellings or lumps, medically 19. One of Trei Asar (12 Prophets) 3. Frolic 20. One from a Greek fighting 53-Across 4. Scraps group? 5. Positive vote 22. La Brea substance 6. Sort of suffix? 23. Window___ 7. Ruth lady 24. Stretch the truth 8. Having a rotating motion 25. Real property? 9. Variety abbr. 28. Appendage to lend Antony 10. Ancient American empire 31. Hockey hall-of-famer 11. Wound crust 32. Steal My Sunshine band 12. Mortgage 33. Despise 13. Damages 34. Bilam’s animal 14. Those giving exams Solution to appear in the next issue. 35. Mitzvah numbered 53-Across group? 21. Place to be in with “the,” 38. Pod item when on the run 40. Rabbi’s Kahn and Marcus 23. Nissan model 41. 5th or Bway. 26. He once was Clay 42. White liturgy garment 27. Bush state 43. Airline to Johannesburg 29. Charge! 44. One who edits content 30. Superman star 48. Throw lazily 33. That guy’s 49. Thin 35. Resting days 46. Animal Farm scribe 56. Irish Gaelic 52. ___ella De Vil 36. “Shalom, everyone!” 47. Forage for food 57. Genius ___ (protective spirit to the 53. Music for the Omer 37. Hallow follower 50. Some members of 53-Across groups Romans) 57. Rules we live by 38. Kingly homes 51. Innocent 60. Kind of Buddhism 58. Bears’ quarterback 39. Give a lesson to Eliza Doolittle, e.g. 54. Guilty, e.g. 61. Wife 59. Queens College 53-Across group 45. Large beetle 55. Wavy hairdo

70 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 71 72 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

behind you, trying to get around? These Productivity Tip: Do Things Faster people don’t have that. Maybe we should start equipping shopping carts with rear- view mirrors. And horns. BY MORDECHAI On the other hand, it would definitely ductivity if everyone around you would Or how about the people in front of SCHMUTTER speed up your day if the people who are move faster. For example, the people in you at the checkout, who, even though in the elevator just got out faster. But they front of you in the supermarket, who they’ve been waiting for the same 25 min- If you ask experts for tips on being can’t get out, because you’re standing block the entire aisle and are moving so utes that you have, don’t even start look- more productive, they will tell you, first ing for their supermarket card or their of all, that you should keep a “to do” list. credit card until they get to the front of That’s a great idea. I have a “to do” list the line? Like it’s a total surprise to them on my computer that is, at this time, 78 that they need those things. items long. On the average day, I add Can’t people rubberneck faster? Or how about the people in front of about ten items to the list and then do you who, for every item they’re buying, about eight. But the list has everything on You get to the front; you look at the cashier has to call the manager over it. It has “Buy nosh for mishloach manos” like he’s never seen the item before in his (Yes, thanks to some kind of weird time life. “Do we carry this item? What is it? warp, even though for most of the world the other side of the highway; you You didn’t just sneak it into the store and it is now a couple of days after Pesach, for then attempt to pay us for it, did you?” me, as I write this, it is the week before And the customer, meanwhile, is trying to Purim) and it also has things like “Write 4 go, “That’s it?”; and then you move! pay entirely in coupons from 1972. And articles for the paper.” then the person directly in front of you That’s right; four articles. I got a mes- leaves his cart in line and goes off to do sage from my editor the other day that his shopping for the rest of the year, even they need the following four articles sent right in front of the door. So you spend a slowly that you think maybe their shop- though you got in line behind him in the in ASAP: the two articles appearing imme- good 30 seconds in a stalemate, and that ping cart doesn’t have any wheels. You first place because he didn’t have that diately before Pesach, and the two doesn’t do anything for anybody. know that sense that you have when you appearing immediately after Pesach. But But yes, it will definitely help your pro- can sort of tell that there are people Continued on Page 75 not in that order. And I have no hope of finishing four articles this week, especial- ly since Thursday is Ta’anis Esther. (Also, I can’t push off Purim shopping until Thursday, because if I shop on a fast day, I’m going to buy out half the store.) I’m so glad I keep a “to do” list. But there is also another thing you can do to greatly enhance your productivity: Do things faster. Sure, they say that if you do things faster, you’ll just mess everything up and have to do it over. But there’s a pretty big chance that if you do things slowly, you’ll mess them up anyway. At least if you go faster the first time, you’ll have more time to do it over. On the other hand, there are a lot of things in life for which faster isn’t neces- sarily better. Imagine if a surgeon said, “Okay, I know the surgery is supposed to take three hours, but I figure twenty min- utes, tops. How big is your brain, right?” My friend once sat down in the den- tist’s chair and said, “Can we try to hurry this up? I have to be somewhere.” To which the dentist replied, “Okay, here’s how we’ll save time: We can skip the Novocain.” Because Novocain takes about 15 minutes to kick in. So my friend said, “You know what? I’ll be late.” And how about the people who attempt to run into an elevator as soon as the doors open, before the people who are in the elevator have a chance to get out? Do you think there will be more room in there if you get in first? Or do you think you can get started going up to the next floor while you’re waiting for everyone else to get out?

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 73 Nefesh B’Nefesh Answers Aliyah Questions At NYC Fair Photo Essay By Judah S. Harris Photography + Film The annual Nefesh B’Nefesh Aliyah Fair, held on April 3 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Manhattan, provided a valuable resource for families and individuals considering or actively planning aliyah. The afternoon program offered an in- depth opportunity for the 350 attendees to explore the various stages of the aliyah process while becoming more familiar with the realities of daily living in Israel. A range of scheduled seminars on key topics provided answers to aliyah questions while participating exhibitors in a larger ballroom provided resources and information about areas such as choosing a community to live in, health plans, accounting procedures, and—an essential reality of aliyah— shipping one’s personal belongings to a new home in Israel.

Above left, Danny Oberman, Executive Vice President of Nefesh B’Nefesh, thanks Sofa Landver, Israel’s Minister of Immigrant Absorption, who read the words of a song as the opening remarks of NBN’s Aliyah Fair.

Above right, Denise Bar-Aharon, who, together with her husband, established a branch of the Make-A-Wish Foundation in Israel in her brother’s memory.

74 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Productivity Tip faster? How long does it take? though it won’t necessarily Continued from Page 73 You get to the front; you look at increase your productivity if the other side of the highway; you do things faster (for exam- many items in his cart. But then you go, “That’s it?”; and then you ple, if you have to write four he looked back at your cart, and move! What is that, two sec- articles in one week, they will he got some ideas. onds? We should be passing probably come out pretty bad), “Orange juice! Where’d you that accident at a rate of 30 cars but it will definitely increase find orange juice?” per minute! But sometimes it your productivity if everyone “Over by the refrigerated takes people so long that by the else goes faster. juices.” time you get to the front, the But how do we get through “OOOOH! I’ll be right back.” accident is already all cleaned to those people? Maybe we Or he looks at your cart, and up, and your side of the high- should put huge billboards on he sees that you’re buying eight way is still backed up for rubber- the side of the road—“PRO- of something, and he figures necking. And then you have no DUCTIVITY TIP: DO THINGS that it must be on sale. So he idea why you stopped. That’s FASTER.” goes off to find it, and of course very frustrating. That will get them to speed he says, “Can you please watch Or how about when some- up, right? O my cart?” Like someone else is one calls you, and you pick up going to walk up and say, the phone, and then you have Mordechai Schmutter is a weekly humor columnist for Hamodia and “Wow! These are exactly the to wait until he finishes talk- has written two books, both published foods that I need! Just ring ing to someone else before he by Israel Book Shop. He also does freelance writing for hire. You can send these up for me!” says hello? any questions, comments, or ideas to There are also a lot of people I guess my point is that even [email protected]. in your way when you’re on the road. Now, I don’t begrudge peo- ple for being on the road. But sometimes I’m sitting in my car, and I can’t go because the per- son in front of me is stopped, with his window rolled down, and is talking to someone who is sitting in a car going the other way, who also has his window rolled down. I want to yell, “Get a cell phone!” Because at least then they’ll be moving. Sure, they’ll be swerving erratically, but at least that’s moving. And it’s one thing if they’re asking for directions, but they’re clearly not. When you’re asking for directions, you’re talking to someone all the way on the side of the road, and that person is bending down to see you and making vivid gestures with his arms, like that’s going to help you understand. No one asks for directions from people in the other cars. “Look, he’s coming from that direction! Maybe he knows how to go!” And then there’s rubberneck- ing. I do understand the need to rubberneck. I hate it, but once everyone in front of you is rub- bernecking, you’re also going to look, so you can see what the fuss is all about. You have to look, because now you’re late, and when you get there, people are going to ask, “Why are you late?” And you want to give them a real answer. You don’t want to say, “I don’t know, first everyone slowed down, and then we started going again.” But can’t people rubberneck

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 75 importance of kids having time and an and the wife contributes however much Sleeping On The Job outlet outside of their school days to be she can by assuming the responsibility kids. But more important than the time of breadwinner in the family. At the is the presence of a parent to acknowl- same time however, their detractors BY YOCHANAN GORDON lowest grades all the way on up, it is edge and express contentment and satis- earn six- or perhaps seven-figure annual important for us as parents to have the faction while the child is enjoying him salaries which requires 60 hours a week I had a business relationship with opportunity to gauge their growth and or herself. in the office as well as untold hours of the owner of a local mattress retailer. development personally and academi- Jews as a whole are not into family work at home, leaving little time for per- On one of my sales visits to him, in cally, and yom tov provides ample time planning. Despite the exorbitant costs sonal spiritual growth or time for the addition to our discussing his regular for us to get an idea of how things are incurred with the birth of every child, wife and kids. Time is just as valuable a display ad in the paper, he began inquir- progressing. we still hear of families with upwards of resource as money. So if, in your opin- ing into placing a classified ad seeking a Despite the unpredictability of the 15 children. Perhaps this is based on the ion, a family with a meager salary should new salesman/manager. I detected a weather these days, there were a couple belief that each child causes further better balance the number of children smirk on his face, so naturally I asked they have, I would say a family which him what that was all about. He said he just does not have the time and the level recently came into work one afternoon of self sacrifice that it takes to bring up and found his salesman sound asleep physically and emotionally healthy chil- on one of his plush mattresses. It was troubling to see how many dren needs more balance as well. Jokingly, I said, “What could be a better It was troubling to see how many testament to the comfort and quality of kids had to spend their afternoons kids had to spend their afternoons over your products than your own salesper- yom tov running around at the park son sleeping so comfortably on it?” It being watched by a home helper was clearly understood however, that over yom tov running around the park because their parents needed the time sleeping on the job was not in this at home to rest up before yom tov is salesman’s job description and so the being watched by a home helper. over and their grueling schedules are owner was seeking a new, more respon- back in full swing. Parenting was never sible manager for his store. meant to be easy, and it requires a con- Pesach is now behind us. In addition stant watchful eye and self sacrifice in to all of the food and junk which we order to ensure the wholesomeness and normally have no problem laying off of opportunities for us to head out to blessing on the livelihood in the family happiness of each child. In a family of, as well as the Torah and words of the Lawrence park, giving the kids an and so as believers we don’t pay too where both husband and wife work full- inspiration and added study time opportunity to run free and expend all much attention to statistics. However, time jobs and there are kids at home which many do not normally have, we of the youthful energy that they are there still are those cynics who look in who need to be looked after, there is lit- were also afforded more time to spend filled with before tiring themselves out wonderment at the yeshiva families tle that could be done to avoid having with our families. For kids of any age, and getting ready for another night’s with eight or nine children where the that help around the house to put our be it at home or in school, from the sleep. No value could be placed on the father is getting a small kollel stipend minds at ease in that regard. However, at times like on a Shabbos afternoon, after dinner on a late spring or summer evening, and especially during yom tov, a child should have their parents at their side while they unwind, and at the same time get the recognition and acknowledgement necessary for their development. In addition to the halachic aspects of the yom tov as well as the joy and pleas- ure derived from the culinary extrava- gance and the abundance of shiurim, yom tov is there so that we could spend time on personal reflection. I was always puzzled as to the relevance of the prayer for strange dreams that we recite during the Priestly blessings dur- ing Mussaf. In light of all this, perhaps, it is due to the inconsistency in the dreams and aspirations that we have in life and the amount of effort and self sacrifice that we are willing to invest to see those dreams through to fruition. There, the Kohanim are blessing us with peace. The word for peace in Hebrew is shalom, which is comprised of the same letters as shalem, or whole. We all aspire to raise physically and emotionally wholesome families but we sometimes are not honest with ourselves with regards to what it takes to achieve that goal. In the Shir Hama’alos that we recite before Bentching, it says, “Those who plant in tears will reap the fruits with joy.” A child too is born as a result of a seed. In order to joyfully reap the rewards of our families, we have to be willing to sacrifice not just our money, but more importantly our time, so that they know that they come first without any excuses. Parenting is a job that spans a life- time. Vacations are necessary and expected, but we have to be prepared to give it our all while we are on the job and not get caught sleeping, even on Shabbos and yom tov, because that is not in the job description. O 76 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The Key To The Minhag of Shlissel Challah

BY DAVID FREIDMAN that this is included in rain. The word for key, mafteiach, stands for these four There is a minhag to make “shlissel chal- things: Matar, parnasah, techiyas lah” the Shabbos after Pesach. This is chal- ha’meisim, chiyah. We make a challah lah with the impression or form of a key with a key to remind us that these things on it. Although this is usually thought of as come directly from Hashem and the a chassidish minhag, it existed way before only way to get them is to daven with the time of the Baal Shem Tov, as the Apta the understanding that only Hashem Rav, who was born during the lifetime of can provide for us. the Baal Shem Tov, writes in his Sefer Ohev Rain: We don’t daven for rain in the Yisroel that the minhag of making shlissel springtime, but we are reminded that on challah is from ancient times. Pesach we are judged on the grains, and only Hashem can give us parnasah. Chiyah: In the Haggadah we read that B’nei Yisrael had many children even We are now under such bad conditions, showing us approaching the last that this comes directly from Hashem. Rav Gamliel Rabinovitz, shlita, says that remind ourselves to daven for techiyas destined to be redeemed, and we are now days of Nissan, but the we see from Rivkah Imeinu, who the ha’meisim. The pasuk quoted by the approaching the last days of Nissan, but pasuk says was physically unable to have Gemara regarding techiyas ha’meisim is the geulah is not here. Therefore, shlissel geulah is not here. children, that one should daven even if from the haftarah of the “dry bones” that challah is a reminder to daven for all the the doctors say that one is physically we read recently, which is also about things above and, most importantly, the Therefore, shlissel unable to have children, because tefillah techiyas ha’meisim. It says that in Nissan geulah sheleimah and the subsequent challah is a reminder can change teva. Most importantly, we we were redeemed and in Nissan we are techiyas ha’meisim. (JewishByte Baltimore) O

to daven.

He also says that “minhag is Torah,” so we can look to find reasons for it. Reb Pinchos Koritzer and others mention that these challahs were made in a round shape to look like matzah. There are many reasons given for this minhag, but the most famous reason is that it is a segulah for parnasah. For this reason, many ridicule it and say that “bet- ter one should just daven.” This is both right and wrong. Just baking some chal- lah as a “good-luck charm” is not the intention of the minhag, but also if one davens without really believing that only Hashem can help, then that is also not proper davening. A segulah such as shlis- sel challah is supposed to be another reminder that there is only One place to turn to so that when we daven, it is with a belief that Hashem is the only one that can help us. We are now in the 49 days of sefirah, which the Bnei Yisaschar points out is the gematria of “lev tov.” When Rebbe Yochanan ben Zakai said to his five talmidim to go and see what the good path to follow is, Rebbe Elazar ben Arach answered “lev tov.” This, Rebbe Yochanan said, was the best answer because it included the answers of the other four talmidim. Perhaps Rebbe Yochanan praised the answer of lev tov because it means to daven well, which is the solution for everything, as the first daf of Ta’anis asks, “What is the service of the heart?” and answers that this is tefillah. Immediately after, the Gemara says that there are three keys in the hand of Hashem that are not entrusted to an agent: the keys to rain, childbirth, and techiyas ha’meisim. The Gemara also adds the key to parnasah, quoting the posuk “Poseiach es yadecha,” but says

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 77 78 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES April 29, 2011 79 80 April 29, 2011 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES