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creative writing, and weeks ago, when a anxiety in print. take more than a few By Sharon Miki, was lucky enough friend who is currently Last week, another minutes to consider Editor in Chief to have some of my taking a fiction class friend texted me to my work—reading stories and poems mentioned in passing tell me that her class it was, after all, just ome of my favourite selected for the annual that she read one of my was reading a poem a class assignment. times at Douglas Pearls anthologies of stories for class. “Uh, I’d written in her intro Instead of freaking out, SCollege have been in student writing over some of the guys didn’t poetry class. Poetry is I should be excited the Creative Writing the years. I took this like the stuff about a form of expression that the words I’d department. The as a great honour, and tampons,” she said. that I hold possessively slaved over would be wonderful and patient didn’t really think too I thought back to the close—what if the read once more. Also, instructors spent much of it. story in question: it was class hated it? What if I’ll be sure to be more hours explaining Then, this year, I a violent, angry story they Googled me and open and less critical the mechanics of learned that having that I’d written during looked at my other when reading other storytelling to me, and my work published a particularly dark time work and mocked me? people’s work: I mean, never made me feel like sometimes means that in my life. Now that What if they set up a it’s possible that even my work was stupid people are actually that time had passed Tumblr to ridicule how Margaret Atwood sits (not even the time I reading it. And for me, it felt surreal to bad of a poet I am? at home worrying submitted a sonnet thinking about it. And, think about a classroom In the end, I realized about what people exalting my great love most likely, criticizing of youngsters reliving that it’s highly unlikely think about her writing, for Diet Coke). I love it. It started a few and analyzing my that anyone will too… right?

THE DOUGLAS COLLEGE NEWSPAPER SINCE 1978 e DOUGLAS COLLEGE’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER NEWS OtherPress. Since 1976 Room 1020 – 700 New Westminster, BC Douglas College V3L 5B2 Royal Avenue T: 604.525.3542 Meat again? E. coli risk spawns recall Eric Wilkins, page 04

EDITOR IN CHIEF OPINIONS EDITOR Sharon Miki Natalie Serafini ARTS [email protected] [email protected] SPORTS EDITOR ASSISTANT EDITOR Josh Martin Jacey Gibb [email protected] His guitar gently weeps: Michael Kolk takes on Arts at One Kayla Steinman, page 06 [email protected] HUMOUR EDITOR BUSINESS MANAGER Livia Turnbull LIFE & STYLE Angela Szczur [email protected] [email protected] STAFF WRITERS PUBLIC RELATIONS MANAGER Sophie Isbister Frugal foods: tips to save at the store Caitlin Van Den Brink, page 09 Stephanie Trembath Joel MacKenzie [email protected] Eric Wilkins FEATURE DISTRIBUTION MANAGER LAYOUT MANAGER Chris Paik Cody Klyne [email protected] [email protected] Student star? BPA Manuel Cuevas talks the talk Bryce Tarling, page 12 NEWS EDITOR GRAPHICS MANAGER Dylan Hackett Joel McCarthy [email protected] [email protected] OPINIONS ARTS EDITOR Angela Espinoza ILLUSTRATOR [email protected] Oliver McTavish Wisden [email protected] Nothing is something: it’s time to chill out Joel MacKenzie, page 16 LIFE & STYLE EDITOR Laurel Borrowman CONTRIBUTORS [email protected] Liam Britten, Elliot Chan, Dominic Dutt SPORTS David Hollinshead, Emily Krauss, Dale Pereira Keating Smith, Kayla Steinman, Bryce Tarlin, Caitlin Van Den Brink BC Lions: then versus now David Hollinshead, page 17 WHO WE ARE The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper semester at registration, and from local and national advertising HUMOUR since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University independent of the student union. We are a registered society Press (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers that includes under the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight- papers from all across . person board of directors appointed by and from our staff. Our The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will head office is located in the New Westminster campus. publish, and we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and or condones or promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be winter semesters, and monthly during the summer. We receive our edited for clarity and brevity if necessary. All images used are funding from a student levy collected through tutition fees every copyright to their respective owners. Chairman Meow? The latest cuddly tyrant Liam Britten, page 22 News. XL Foods meat recall

CFIA trying to cope company had failed to Canadians at the same follow an important time?’” with E. coli risk safety procedure called Rae’s statement was “bracketing”, whereby directed towards the fact By Eric Wilkins, they, “take out the that while the CFIA put a Staff Writer shipment ahead of it and ban on XL Foods shipping the shipment behind it to the United States (after hat started as a volun- and search those out, and being prompted by the tary meat recall from everything is brought back.” USDA) on September 13, WXL Foods last month has George Da Pont, head Canadians weren’t notified turned into a nation-wide of the Canadian Food of the first recalled products recall of over 1,800 products Inspection Agency noted until September 16. The and the indefinite closure that, “What we found is plant itself wasn’t shut of the Brooks, Alberta plant that the plant was not doing down until September 27. due to concerns about an E. appropriate trend analysis NDP Leader Tom coli outbreak. when they had spikes Mulcair echoed Rae’s The company has [in E. coli] the previous comments on Ritz, “He’s assumed responsibility for week. We found that there the one who put this self- the situation, saying in a were, when we did the regulating system in place. statement, “We believed XL further investigations, a He is responsible. Why is Foods was a leader in the few instances where the this minister of agriculture beef processing industry bracketing process that the still in his position? He with our food safety minister described was not must resign.” protocols, but we have now properly followed.” Ritz responded learned it was not enough. However, Interim by saying that they’re We take full responsibility Liberal Leader, Bob Rae, taking the outbreak “very for our plant operations and was unsatisfied with the seriously” and “We’re actions of the CFIA and working to ensure the CFIA the food it produces … we Fresh ground beef is packed at a local butcher shop Monday, October 1, 2012 in Levis Que. are doing everything we Agricultural Minister has the regulations that they Photo courtesy of Jacques Boissinot/The Canadian Press can to take the lead in an Gerry Ritz, saying, “I have require and the monetary a problem with how long capacity to get the job enhanced, comprehensive vomiting, bloody diarrhea, the list because they may that took. I think if someone done.” food safety program for our and a slight fever. The CFIA be contaminated with E. else had been minister, they E. coli has the plant.” is warning the public not coli. For a complete list of might have said, ‘Well, if potential to be fatal and Agricultural Minister to consume, sell, or serve the recalled products, visit we’re protecting Americans, the symptoms typically Gerry Ritz said that the any of the beef products on www.inspection.gc.ca. why aren’t we protecting include stomach cramps, Coquitlam-Burke Mountain NDP candidate list grows

“I think most people legends DOA, who If you have a good idea riding, Coquitlam- By Dylan Hackett, will respect the fact spoke with The Other it goes out from your Maillardville, was only News Editor if you’ve got some Press earlier last month, community, across the short an NDP candidate experience at the civic made headlines with his province, across the for springtime election he list of candidates level, it can be transferred announcement to run in country, and maybe even for a week, after current vying to run against over to the provincial the riding as well. across the world if the MLA Diane Thorne Tthe BC Liberals this level,” said Lynch. “I’ve always thought idea is good enough,” announced that she spring in the Coquitlam- Former world change doesn’t come said Keithley. does not plan to run Burke Mountain electoral champion wrestler and from politicians or The BCNDP is still for the seat again. In district has increased current executive director business leaders or the recruiting members of the an unheated contest, with a slew of new for KidSport Tri-Cities, media. Politicians are riding to sign up as party Coquitlam city councillor candidates announced. Chris Wilson, has also kind of like poll readers members in order to Selina Robinson has been Former Coquitlam city filed his nomination in a way. They read what have a vote in the party’s announced as the new councillor Barrie Lynch papers to run in the people want and but yet to be determined runner in a seat held by joins the list of civic riding, saying “I think it’s the people that run constituency meeting. the BCNDP since 2005. politicians established for me I have the most things. A lot of the time, The selected “After four years on as NDP members after to offer on a provincial unfortunately, people candidate will be running council, [you recognize] four-term Port Moody level rather than on a don’t realize that they can against BC Liberal there’s only so much mayor Joe Trasolini took community level.” have a great influence on backbench MLA Douglas you can do at municipal the neighbouring Port At the end of the society. I think really big Horne, who has held the level,” Robinson said. Moody-Coquitlam riding summer, Joe Keithley, change starts right within seat since 2009. in the spring by-election. frontman of punk your own community. The neighbouring 4 www.theotherpress.ca News

illegal strikes have cost the response to the incident, and a pleasure boat were shelling, but Turkey’s Prime mining company over $82 Romney said that "clearly in both arrested after the two Minister, Recep Tayyip million USD in revenue a campaign, with hundreds ships collided in Hong Erdogan, still warned Syria after “South African mining if not thousands of speeches Kong, killing 38 people. that the countries were "not has been hit by a wave of and question and answer The incident is the city's far" from war. wildcat strikes, in which sessions, now and then you worst maritime disaster miners and officials have are going to say something in decades. The men were Middle East: (U.A.E) A been killed [since August].” that doesn't out come arrested on Tuesday, with replica of the India’s Taj The union has come out right.” five others also arrested. Mahal is slated to be built saying they are willing The ferry passengers were in Dubai with a $1 billion to fight to death over the Asia- Central & South: watching a large National price tag. The project is A weekly geopolitical firings. (India) Public access to Day display of fire works scheduled to be completed Facebook and YouTube when the two boats collided by 2014, compared to the update Americas: (United States) has been blocked in India’s earlier last week. decade of construction American Presidential Kashmir region. The that the original took. By Keating Smith, candidate Mitt Romney has move is believed to be "in Europe: (Turkey) Turkey’s The building dubbed Contributor admitted that declaring 47 response to the protests foreign policy with Syria the ‘New City of Love’ per cent of Americans as against the anti-Islam video radically changed after a will ”host a 300-bedroom Africa: (South Africa) 12,000 government ‘dependants’ [Innocence of Muslims] on mortar attack on a Turkish hotel, a shopping center, miners have been fired from was "completely wrong.” YouTube.” village bordering Syria commercial area, and much Anglo American Platinum, Romney was secretly killed five civilians. Officials more” claims developer the world’s largest platinum filmed during a luncheon Asia- Pacific:(Hong Kong) in Damascus have publicly Arun Mehra. producer. According to fundraiser last May. In The captains of a ferry apologized to Turkey for the the BBC, three weeks of Sisters in Spirit Vigil at Douglas College ‘By changing yourself, it, and humanize victims… youth outreach worker at Aboriginal women face take action.” it’s not just a number of the Aboriginal Front Door in Canadian society. “We The vigil also included you can change the people that are missing. It’s Society and the Project were taught at a very a petition from the Native actual mothers, daughters, Director of the Butterflies early age that society does Women’s Association future’ sisters, grandmothers, and in Spirit Project, which not value an Aboriginal of Canada addressed to aunties.” performs in support of woman,” Woodward Prime Minister Stephen By Joel MacKenzie, About holding the vigil the missing or murdered said. She referenced the Harper asking for a national Staff Writer at Douglas College, Davies women. police’s lack of interest inquiry into the over 582 said, “Our students are Woodward and concerning the cause of the occurrences of missing n October 4, the very progressive and they Williams recited personal womens’ deaths, and their or murdered Aboriginal Douglas Students’ really care about what goes accounts of their families negative media portrayal. females in Canada. It calls OUnion (DSU) organized a on around them and in the being affected by this issue. Machiskinic, for instance, for the identification of the candlelight vigil at both community…it shows the Woodward’s cousin Ashley whose death “everybody factors causing this issue, the New Westminster and community that we are Machiskinic died from knew…was murder,” was and the “remedy” of the the David Lam campuses ready to stand up for issues falling from a window in only declared as suicide “individuals, processes in support of the Sisters in that are important to us.” Vancouver’s downtown until a group, including and policies responsible for Spirit movement. The New Westminster east side at 21-years-old in Woodward, protested maintaining the status quo.” The vigil was intended vigil included speakers 2010. She “was thrown out at the Vancouver Police More information can to “bring focus and such as Davies herself, the window like a piece of Department. be found at www.nwac.ca, awareness to the over 500 Katie Marocchi from the garbage…over a $50 drug Woodward said that the www.october4th.ca, and missing and murdered Canadian Federation of debt,” she said. Williams positive impact that these the petition can be signed Aboriginal women in Students of BC, the DSU’s named four members of her events have had on her is online at www.gopetition. Canada,” said Jenelle Aboriginal Liaison Madison family that are missing or to “advocate for women com/petitions/sisters-in- Davies, Women’s Liaison Paradis-Woodman, Mona have been assaulted, raped, who don’t have a voice.” spirit-initiative.html. of the Douglas Students’ Woodward, Executive or murdered. She added, “By changing Union, during an interview Director of the Aboriginal Speakers referenced yourself, you can change with The Other Press. “We Front Door Society, and feelings of helplessness the future, just by taking want to bring awareness to Lorelei Williams, a women’s and worthlessness that that moment to take note, to Student Ambassadors spreading midterm cheer Oct 9 and 11 he Douglas College will be checking in with free healthy snacks and Student Ambassadors students to find out how have their names entered Twill be spreading some their semester is going into a draw to win a Tim midterm cheer on Tuesday, thus far. If students need Horton’s gift card. Come October 9 and Thursday, any additional support by to check it out! October 11 from 9:30 or information, the a.m. to 4:30 p.m. in the Ambassadors will direct With files from Naomi Ambrose concourse at the New them to the appropriate Westminster Campus. department. Students The Ambassadors will also receive some 5 Arts. ‘Traffic’ detours through Vancouver Conceptual art at the of a city morphing with the artist Brian Dyson, said “I concerned a woman lying from ideas, rather than culture. Along the way, we will not make any more in bed, pensively discussing actual products, and are Vancouver Art Gallery saw more photographs, not boring art,” with the word subconscious thoughts; then created and displayed. only of landmarks, but also “boring” crossed out with another displayed the lower The “idea” per se is inside By Elliot Chan, Contributor of people and household an “X.” Another artist, John region of a nude woman the paintbrush, the camera furniture. A piece by Suzy Baldessari created the same drawing and cleaning an lens, and the sculptor. When he first two floors of Lake called “Snapshots piece, but chose to leave the illustration of her inner looking at a piece, one must the Vancouver Art of real life conversation” word “boring” uncrossed. female organs on and off see beyond it and ask the TGallery are currently closed showed multiple shots of a Upon a white wall her skin. question of “why?” instead due to renovation, but up young woman, each picture and within a painted Although some pieces of the question of “how?”— on the third we find the displaying a different acrylic square was the bold were disturbing and or “what?” for that matter. metaphorical construction expression, seven of which phrase “Get Hold of This no doubt controversial, It is the artist’s concept of an art form. An ambient are mysteriously circled Space.” The minimal piece others simply suggested and not their intention; the of drills and saws could be by a thick felt marker. by Gordon Lebredt was introspectiveness. result is as unpredictable as heard as the escalator took In “La Table Ronde” by no Matisse, but it was a A black and white traffic itself. me up to their latest exhibit. The exhibit, Traffic: An uneasy sensation passed Conceptual art stems from ideas, rather than actual Conceptual Art in Canada through me; I’d arrived from 1965-1980 will be on in a cold artificial world. products, and are then created and displayed. display at the Vancouver This well-traveled exhibit Art Gallery until January garnered its name from 20, 2013. In addition, At the the concept of everyday Robert Fones, a circular well-organized conceptual photograph by Garry Intersection of Painting and human transition: Traffic. table was photographed idea, which allowed it to Neill Kennedy entitled Photography by Ian Wallace There couldn’t be a more over the course of a month, take liberty of a wall better “School Photo” showed will arrive at the end of suitable name to portray presenting the accumulation suited for a picture of a a bleak looking fourth October. conceptual art, a form that and depletion of clutter. beach. grade class from 1972. took us down an eerie route The use of language Television monitors The caption beneath it What: Traffic: Conceptual of change, arriving at an plays a significant part were scattered all around read “This piece is related Art in Canada from 1965- evolved form of life with in conceptual art as well, the exhibit as well. In to my involvement of 1980 mass media and mechanics. and is of course expressed one piece called “Internal attempting to remember Where: The Vancouver Art Various Montreal throughout the exhibit. Pornography” by Lisa all the people I’ve ever Gallery intersections were captured Further down another Steele, three televisions known. I was transfixed by When: Now until January in grey-scale photographs, a corridor, we found a were set up beside each the idea and wondered if 20, 2013 work by Françoise Sullivan repetition of a sentence other, each showing such a task could ever be showed the physical form written out in cursive. a different channel. accomplished.“ The statement, made by One channel showed a Conceptual art stems Sweet sounds of the guitar An amazing selection The two preludes out; the speed was almost all across Europe, including he played were “Les reminiscent of Spanish Italy, Estonia, and Germany, of guitar melodies at Danseuses de Delphes” classical guitar music, to name a few. Kolk isn’t and “La fille aux cheveux even through this was in a just a solo performer either, Arts at One de lin,” both composed by waltz count. In my mind, as he has collaborated with Claude Debussy. Both were I could see an old Spanish many other musicians, By Kayla Steinman, simply amazing, making me movie with all the ladies and made his orchestral Contributor want to get up and dance dressed up in their flowing debut with the along with the music. It was dresses and the men in their Philharmonic Orchestra in ast Thursday, October all so calm and soothing, traditional suits, dancing 2011. 4, guitarist Michael and yet energizing at the around to this energizing Be sure to check in with LKolk graced the New same time. music, with skirts flying the New West performance Westminster campus with a The last piece that in the wind, and laughter theatre this week, when truly amazing performance Photo courtesy of Victoria Conservatory of Music he played was “Theme, coming from everywhere. Douglas presents Dark in the Laura C. Muir Variations, and Finale;” The way that Kolk was Angels: Music for Voice Performing Arts Theatre. he played gave me a new again, watching his fingers able to manipulate his and Guitar. Surprisingly, His set list of beautiful respect for anyone who can move almost distracted me instrument into creating vocalizations aren’t nearly songs began with the “Suite actually play more than from the music because sounds so sweet and so as common to the Arts for Lute,” an amazing three chords on the guitar. they moved so fast—based interesting was just simply at One performances as composition from the great The way that he was able on sight alone, one would wonderful. instrumental shows are. Johann Sebastian Bach; until to manipulate his fingers think that there would just Kolk has won numerous Catch what will surely be that point, I had truly never and the strings on the guitar be noise coming from the in North America, and was a fantastic spectacle, and heard a guitar sound so to make his music made guitar. But instead, he was respectively recognized at remember, it’s free to all beautiful before. Watching me want to try to learn the somehow able to make the a young age for his musical students and the public his fingers dance while damn thing all over again! most amazing sounds come ability. Kolk has performed alike! 6 www.theotherpress.ca Arts

The Zolas blast off A look at ‘Ancient Mars’ Moving into the music itself, it’s evident right off the bat that Gray and Do- brzanski were looking to experiment with creating a new sound for themselves. By Eric Wilkins, “In Heaven” is a decidedly Staff Writer heavier track than anything the group has previously utstanding. Unbeliev- put out, but is by no means able. Exceptional. an unwelcome offering. OAwesome. Scrumptious. “Knot In My Heart” was re- These were all words that I leased as a single before the envisioned to describe the , and provides a clear latest Zolas album prior to contrast to the clean sound its release, and thanks to the of Tic Toc Tic, featuring a brilliance of the quirky song strong dose of distortion for writing duo of Zachary pretty much everything. Gray and Tom Dobrzanski, It’s difficult not to gush I can carry on that line of over each and every new thinking. tune, but if you’re just look- Ancient Mars (re ing for a select track to add leased October 2) is the to your collection, be sure to Vancouver-based group’s While most artists’ records filler, the Zolas’ follow-up anything wrong with the give “Observatory” a listen. second album, and, simply typically contain several to 2010’s Tic Toc Tic is a solid album, it’s that it’s too Ridiculously catchy and ri- put, is out of this world. tracks of obvious chaff/ listen throughout. If there’s short. diculously good. Guitar’s golden girl ‘Glows’ Kaki King’s new album have a rich Irish sound (“King Pizel”). Some By Elliot Chan, Contributor songs soundtrack the cacophonies of urban hustle and grind, while others evoke a tranquil imagery of somewhere far, far away. onsidered by many Very few artists are able to as one of the best create settings the way King Cguitarists in the world, Kaki does. King confirms it with her In contrast to her 2010 Junior Glow sixth full-length album, album , lacks Glow. Katherine Elizabeth King’s vividly haunting King, a.k.a. Kaki King, vocals. Although her returns to her roots with an classical acoustic ability instrumental collection that remains stunning, it is a will be available on October shame that she did not 9. Displaying all her contribute some of her imaginative musical talent, poetic styling into her new Glow has the potency to works. transport listeners to other That is not to say parts of the world, proving she’s simplified her music that even without lyrics, though; on the contrary. Glow music remains a universal ’s content is far more language. complex than any verse- With assistance from and-chorus song around. ETHEL, a string quartet But I am a sucker for lyrics; the added dimension of based out of New York, Kaki King will be in Vancouver touring in support of Glow at the Rio Theatre on October 16. Kaki King achieves a words is usually what dynamic range, where one makes a song memorable. song can have a distinct Nevertheless, the album is six strings. consider Glow to be a studying performing at the Rio Theatre feel of the Orient (“Bowen King in her element; there If busy students need a companion. next Tuesday, October 16. Island”) and another is nothing she can’t do with reason to explore new music, Kaki King will also be Tickets are only $20 at the door! 7 Arts Have a story idea? E-mail us at [email protected]

Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman in The Master The masterful masterpiece that is ‘The Master’ wheezes in your face or as The Cause. Taking place Anderson’s previous film seem like maybe he wants By Angela Espinoza, Philip Seymour Hoffman throughout the 1950s, we There Will Be Blood was to help cure Quell of his Arts Editor huffs down your neck follow our two leads from extremely dark and heavy addictions. Then we have is incredible. But unlike when they first meet, and in content, which is what Quell, who’s a disgusting Anderson’s previous films, watch in awkward silence helps make The Master the drunk, unpleasant to look at no point can the viewer as it becomes clear the two perfect follow-up. Despite at and uncomfortable to really figure out what they are obsessed with each all the awful, miserable listen to. But we learn his ew things in life are want. In Boogie Nights, you other; not inseparable, just things Daniel Plainview life hasn’t been an easy one set in stone, and so we want to see if things work obsessed. (Daniel Day-Lewis) did by any means, and again, Fmust learn not to take for out for the best, and in There Quell and Dodd have a to the people around him he was never all there to granted what we’re lucky Will Be Blood, you want to number of other stomach- though, not once did it begin with. It’s really all to have. There will always know how horribly wrong clenching interests, with come across as, again, up to the viewer and their be a sunrise to wake up it will all go, but with The Quell being a raging sexual creepy. But when one takes interpretation of whom we to, cats will always be Master, there’s no way of deviant and Dodd of course the time to sit down and should sympathize with the adorable, and Paul Thomas telling. having his cult-of-sorts to analyze Quell and Dodd, most. Anderson will always make Part of what makes keep making tweaks and they can’t come to any other The Master is incredible, ridiculously awesome this distinction virtually adjustments to. At the heart conclusion but the fact that and at this point, you don’t movies. Want something to impossible is that Anderson of it all though, there’s an both are simply, irreversibly need me to tell you how put on at a party? You’ve has provided us with unspeakable and instant creepy. There’s almost fan-freaking-tastic Phoenix got Boogie Nights (1997). neither a solid protagonist bond between the two, and nothing sympathetic about and Hoffman are in every Want something dark as nor well-developed an unhealthy one at that. our lead characters, largely single moment of the film. fuck? There Will Be Blood ensemble; we’re given two Whether Dodd’s instant because we only learn so I’ll never be able to decide (2007). Want something not perfectly crafted leads, and attraction to Quell is honest much about their pasts, which of Anderson’s films insanely long? Punch-Drunk we’re not sure what to do or just another attempt at and yet, deep down, we is my absolute favourite, Love (2002). But now we’ve with them. manipulation is something grudgingly know whom we but I wouldn’t need to think come to the point where Phoenix portrays the viewer is left to think would like to root for. twice about which one is his we’ve received The Master, Freddie Quell, a drunken over for themselves—and With Dodd and most powerful; The Master and honestly, I’m not sure mess of a war veteran who they’ll be thinking about it The Cause being what has left me so unsettled, so where the hell this film one would most definitely a lot. they are—adaptations closed in on myself, that I would fit in. consider “touched in the The overall feel of of Scientology and its don’t think I ever want to The Master is, in all head,” while Hoffman this film, from the first founder L. Ron Hubbard— see it again—and that is a seriousness, a masterpiece; portrays Lancaster Dodd few minutes onward— obviously you want to go good thing, perhaps even every shot, every musical a.k.a. The Master, the and I hate using such a in hating him. But turns the highest level a film can cue, every breath Joaquin charismatic leader of a new simple word to describe out he’s a loving family achieve. So what are you Phoenix drunkenly religious movement known it—is absolutely creepy. man, and he really does waiting for? Go see it! 8 Life&Style. Using the ‘c’ word

Five tips for saving seems impossible. Find it Beans, nuts, and many dairy anyway. Making a list of products have plenty of change at the checkout what you need will help you protein in them, and there keep track of what’s in your are countless ways to cook By Caitlin Van Den Brink, fridge, so that you can plan these alternatives so that Contributor meals easily and so that half they whet any palette. Need of your fridge’s contents more proof? Check out et’s face it: as students, don’t end up in the garbage. any of our past issues with we need to count our College Cooking by our Staff Lpennies, search clearance 2. Check it twice. Do you Writer, Joel MacKenzie. sections, and seek out sales really need that bag of like a chinchilla hunting chips? That can of salsa? 4. Get veggies from the down a stalk of celery. We That box of chicken strips? freezer aisle. The common need to be cheap. Checking over your opinion out there is that Unfortunately, this is grocery list helps in a few fresh vegetables are difficult when the prices of ways. You can weed out healthier because, well, everything from housing to those food items that you they’re fresh. However, this bread are rising faster than don’t actually need while isn’t always the case. While you can say, “Shish kebab.” investing in healthier, some nutrients like vitamin Fortunately, you now have cheaper alternatives. B and C can be lost in the five tips that will help you freezing process, a lot of the Photo courtesy of NoHoDamon (Flicker) eat healthy and keep your 3. Make meat a treat. It healthy stuff in vegetables food costs low. shouldn’t be a big surprise remains intact. Plus, frozen helping, that can be part of don’t need to be wandered that, pound for pound, veggies can be cheaper and the problem. A shopping down, and, let’s admit: it’s 1. Make a list. Sometimes, meat is one of the most are quicker to cook. companion can slow down always easier to give in finding the time to expensive things you can the process and veer you off to that package of cookies make a big shopping buy at a grocery store. Also, 5. Fly solo. While buying course. You’ll be more likely when a partner in crime is list, and then doing the no, vegetarian meals don’t the groceries might be less to neglect your handy list, egging you on. aforementioned shopping, have to taste like cardboard. tedious with someone else wander down aisles that Vegetarian black bean chili Preparation By Caitlin Van Den Brink, Contributor 1. Using a potato masher or food his meatless chili recipe processor, liquefy is not only healthy fire-roasted Tand filling, but it’s sure tomatoes. Set aside. to bust any remaining misconceptions College 2. In a large frying Cooking hasn’t about boring pan, sauté onion, vegetarian meals, without pepper, and garlic emptying your wallet. until soft. Add water as needed to Ingredients prevent them from sticking to the pan. 2-3 garlic cloves, minced 1 cup finely chopped onion 3. Add black beans, 1 medium yellow or red fire-roasted pepper, diced tomatoes, cumin, 1 tbsp chili powder oregano, and the 2 tsp cumin chili pepper. Bring 1/2 tsp dried oregano to a boil then let 2 15-ounce cans low-sodium simmer for 10 black beans minutes. 2 14.5-ounce cans fire- 4. Add cilantro. Let roasted diced tomatoes simmer for another 1 chili pepper, minced five minutes. 1/4 cup fresh chopped cilantro

9 Life&Style Got style? Contact us at [email protected]

number and address. I’m alone here. pop culture that would pop These days it seems I also miss the ease with up on my feed throughout like that information is which I used to socialize. the day. Facebook is where more disposable, more “Anyone want to get coffee I learned about the deaths transient. Have you ever near campus today?” was of Whitney Houston, texted a friend just to a common status I’d post. Amy Winehouse, and receive a text back that Oh, and I’d crowdsource Andy Griffith. It’s where Wherein I realize that I am an says “Sorry, who’s this? I with the best of them: “Can I followed breaking news lost my phone and all my anyone recommend a good about elections and natural antisocial, disorganized mess contacts?” Was that friend book/album/TV show?” disasters, all accompanied me? I bet it was, because I would use Facebook to by the sassy commentary I’ve lost my phone (and all solicit opinions about the of my clever friends. Social week, loneliness has set in. my contacts) innumerable mundane (sandwiches) and media aggregates the By Sophie Isbister, My world feels pretty small times since those days of the momentous (careers). happenings of the world Staff Writer now, probably because the cat-covered address Above all, I loved the in ways that are relevant much of it was operating book. Last week I wanted Events app. I used it to to me. I’m not going to say ig news! Last Thursday, on the behemoth social to contact an acquaintance organize my life; to get it does a good or bad job, BFacebook hit one- aggregator called Facebook. who had mentioned on invited to birthday parties or that this form of social billion users, a cohort that I Organizationally Facebook that she could cut and then to remember to filtering is a positive or a continue to not be a part of. speaking, my experiment my hair for super cheap in go to them. If I had a free negative. I can only speak to In my second installment my own experience, which of my social media detox Maybe nobody else treats their friendships like a is currently one of feeling column, I touched on what completely out of the loop. I don’t miss about my forgettable jumble of knick-knacks in the bottom drawer of Next week’s issue Facebook addiction, but this will feature my fifth and week I turn my attention to an underused credenza. But I don’t think I’m alone here. final installment of this the downsides of being out experiment. When I return of touch with a seventh of her bathroom (yeah, I’m Saturday night, I would to social media, armed the global population. has taught me that I really a student). Without her scroll through and maybe with new thoughts and In my first week off don’t have anyone’s phone number or any way to get find something worth a refreshed outlook on Facebook I was at peace, number anymore. When I it, I felt disconnected (Rosie, leaving my fortress of the role it plays in my purging my brain of the was 11-years-old, I had a if you’re reading—get in solitude for. Now I rely life, hopefully I can apply clutter of Likes and Shares. hardcover address book. touch with me!). Maybe on physical networking. the same moderation to In my second week off, I It was pink and had cats this is just a personal And a big part of that is a Facebook that I apply to felt free of the tethers of and roses on the cover, and problem. Maybe nobody Pokémon-esque quest to other areas of my life, like my smartphone, having inside it contained ways else treats their friendships catch ‘em all (“all” referring house cleaning. banished the compulsion to to contact all of my closest like a forgettable jumble of to the digits of my nearest check my apps for breaking friends. I remember passing knick-knacks in the bottom and dearest). friend-news every five it around in school to make drawer of an underused But perhaps the biggest minutes. But in my third sure I had everyone’s credenza. But I don’t think thing I miss is the news and Weekend at Cultus Lake camp The fourth annual many new experiences lurking around somewhere. in a positive and trusting partner said to me. This was during the retreat. With But the survival skills environment by answering my highlight of the activity. Student Leadership this as our backdrop, Kyle exercise was a brilliant way a series of questions. At When it was time for my Baillie, manager of the to demonstrate the true first, I said to myself, partner to paraphrase what Retreat Centre for Campus Life, nature of leadership and “Hm. Dishing out my life I told her, I discovered took us on a mini-trek into teamwork. I realized that story, hopes, and dreams that I really love creative By Naomi Ambrose, the forest to learn about if I want to be a dynamic to another student that I writing and I had a passion Contributor survival skills. He taught us leader, I sometimes need don’t know all that well? I for helping students speak how to use found materials to experience unfamiliar don’t think so.” But I kept and present themselves emember Weekend at to provide ourselves and situations to challenge my an open mind and while with confidence and Bernie’s, the movie others with food, water, strength of character, my we spoke, I realized we had professionalism. Rwhere two friends had shelter, and warmth. He ability to think critically, a lot in common. I learned I wouldn’t have had all an awesome weekend at these experiences and made Bernie’s? Well I just had I wouldn’t have had all these experiences and made these these discoveries if I only an awesome weekend too, discoveries if I only came to Douglas to get my credentials came to Douglas to get my though not at Bernie’s, and credentials and then leave. not with only two friends. and then leave. The retreat gave me an Mine was at the Student opportunity to learn outside Leadership Retreat, and of the classroom, make it was with 50 Douglas then divided us up into and my team building that it is always good to be meaningful connections College student leaders smaller groups and gave us skills. unbiased and to try to build with other students, and and staff from the Office a limited time to do these We also participated in meaningful relationships discover new ways of for New Students and the four tasks. an exercise called Personal with people you meet. making a difference. I look Centre for Campus Life. At first, I felt nervous. Sharing Cards. We were There was also a forward to next year’s Imagine walking into I’d never done anything randomly paired with particular segment during Student Leadership Retreat the woods with a huge like that, and I wondered another student and the the activity that improved and I hope you do too. shimmering lake to your whether I’d be bitten by goal was for us to engage in my listening skills by left. That was one of my spiders or if Bigfoot was meaningful conversations paraphrasing what my 10 www.theotherpress.ca Life&Style : Are leggings a legit sartorial choice?

some people seem to have millimeter of your shape— extreme leisure or laziness. forgotten what pants are. so unless you feel at ease While personal expression Instead, ladies are strutting walking around school through fashion can be a about town with nothing in a bikini, you should positive, creative outlet, few but cottony wraps of fabric probably think twice about people intentionally set out turning their once—warm the leggings. Oh, what? to convey an appearance of flesh into human sausage You have a supermodel sloth. casings—and it shall not body and you look amazing So, am I suggesting you stand for a moment longer. covered in nothing but a throw out your collection Look, I get it: leggings, sheer film of fabric? Well, of leg sheaths? Of course with their stretchy Lycra- that’s good for you, but I not. Leggings are a great Spandex mix are incredibly still don’t approve. I don’t option to wear around the comfortable. But, do you need a constant reminder house, or in a functional know what else is really, of how perky your butt is environment, like the gym, really comfortable? Being when I’m walking down the where you actually need naked. You wouldn’t go hallway, so put it away! extreme comfort and to Lose the leggings, ladies out in public naked, so why Besides, regardless of see the shape of your legs would you wear leggings? how good or bad you look in order to accomplish the By Sharon Miki, the pumpkiny chill of fall, No matter what size in them, the fact is that task at hand. Or, you can Editor in Chief women everywhere are you are, chances are that leggings are simply not wear your leggings as a trading their sandals and these skin-hugging leg- an appropriate substitute warm under-layer with s the weather cools bare legs for boots and condoms are not the best for pants. They give off skirts or tunics. Just don’t and the bright neon pants. And yet, I’ve noticed look for you. By nature, an overly casual vibe that get confused and mistake Asun of summer fades into a disconcerting trend: leggings show every harkens to a life of either leggings for pants.

How I learned to stop worrying and love my leggings

Wear Leggings If You’re my clothing allowance By Sophie Isbister, Skinny. Well I’m here to say, while also shaving some Staff Writer rules be damned! Leggings what-to-wear hassle off are here to stay, and I of my morning routine, it t all started in my first couldn’t be happier about it. seems like an all-around semester of college. I had Anyone who has lived win. I also save on laundry. Iresisted for so long, but then in the Lower Mainland for Did you know that your I caved. I started wearing more than five minutes washing machine can fit leggings as pants. Jeggings, knows that the climate here three pairs of leggings for or “gateway leggings” as is fairly moderate. When the every pair of denim jeans? I like to call them, got to weather transitions between The savings just multiply! me first. Super-tight, oft- winter and summer (about Perhaps the most embellished, denim-esque eight months out of the compelling argument to Spandex tubes into which year), it can be a challenge wear leggings as pants is a I could stick my legs, pair to dress appropriately. Too simple one. They just look with a loose tee and some cold for skirts, but too warm good, and if you think they cute flats, and be considered for pants. This is where don’t, then I’m sorry. I didn’t a style maven? What’s not leggings-as-pants play a realize I needed the world’s Once I realized that leggings were just jeggings in black, I was in real trouble—if you consider extreme comfort- meets-style to be trouble. to love? Once I realized key role in a Vancouver-chic tacit approval to simply that leggings were just wardrobe. When there’s a walk around. Leggings jeggings in black, I was in cool bite in the air, like the fly below the radar. They real trouble—if you consider last few weeks, there isn’t don’t scream, “I’ve given extreme comfort-meets-style anything more comforting up!” like sweatpants, and to be trouble. than a thin layer of cotton- they don’t imply, “Hey, But then the backlash Spandex blend covering I’m a douchebag!” like a started. And with the your vulnerable ass-to- TapouT shirt. Our clothes backlash came The Rules. ankles region. do speak volumes for us, Draconian restrictions on my Furthermore, leggings but ultimately, all leggings new sartorial staple include fit my booty as well as my say is, “I’m committed.” such gems as Only Wear budget. Rent is expensive in Committed to looking cute Leggings With Shirts That this world-class city, and if and being comfy. Photo courtesy of www.stilleagle.com Cover Your Butt and Only I can shave a few dollars off 11 Feature.

Manuel Cuevas' Latin fame begins in Canada

With his new album currently song, an earthy nylon- Cuevas felt out of place. Vancouver was quickly Vancouver. But only three in production, Manuel Cuevas stringed melody from his Cuevas was born and replaced by the reality of a months into the program, shares his double-life as a Latin first album,Real . The song is raised in Mexico City small house in the suburb Cuevas was offered a pop star and student in the in English—not Spanish— where, during a school of Coquitlam. And despite contract with the indie- Bachelor of Performing Arts and the petulant emo project, he learned about graduating high school in label, Aedon Records in program offered at Douglas crowd screams for heavy a place called Vancouver. Mexico, he was forced to Mexico City. College. distortion. Then, someone He decided this was the attend another year at Dr. It was a challenge from the crowd shouts, city where he wanted to Charles Best Secondary to working for the I know the college environment and what expectations By Bryce Tarling, “Sing in Spanish you traitor start his life as an adult, learn English, where he and and studying at the Art Contributor of our nation!” The boos living off of doing what he his brother, Esteban, were Institute, but Cuevas looks students bring to the table, and I have experiences in both and the jeers drown out loves most: music, art, and the only Latino students. back on the time as a period of those worlds that often cross over. It’s great to be able to hen Manuel Cuevas— the strumming. When the film. Now, having lived “It was hard to move of growth for himself, both Wbetter known as the as a musician and as an connect to students, or try to with that kind of background. recording artist, MANN— The song talks about starting over and taking what you artist. steps onstage at the Black learn from the past and becoming a better version of Cuevas’s first tour with Room in Central Mexico, Aedon featured one of his it’s already too late. His yourself”—something Cuevas knows all too well. biggest shows at the World pop-rock image—short hair, Trade Center Mexico City, jeans, and an electric pink where he played in front of shirt that reads, “Drink, pee, peanut shells clatter across in the Lower Mainland from one country to more than 1,000 screaming repeat”—clashes with the the stage, Cuevas knows for six years, and despite another,” says Cuevas. “It fans. Aedon invested painted black walls adorned this is one crowd he’s not his success as a privileged was like starting all over money in an elaborate stage with images of dark angels going to win over. indie rock star in Mexico, again.” production and designed and monsters. He looks at For Cuevas, currently Cuevas finds himself still Isolated and frustrated, posters and water bottles the crowd wearing black enrolled in the fourth year navigating many challenges Cuevas felt he was moving featuring the MANN logo. emo-style clothes, eye of the new Bachelor of as a foreigner. backwards. To get his life “Seeing people walking shadow, and lipstick. Performing Arts degree When he first moving again, he eventually away with them gave me a Only one thought enters program offered at Douglas immigrated to Canada, ditched the last two months really weird feeling,” says his mind: “Oh. Shit.” College, the Black Room Cuevas’ vision of living of high school to study Cuevas who wasn’t used to Cuevas sings the first wasn’t the only stage where in an urban downtown film at the Art Institute of seeing his face carried in the 12 www.theotherpress.ca Feature hands of others. The show typically finds employment of him. Radio shows and was more than a success for its graduates, couldn’t newspapers in Mexico label for Cuevas. It gave him the help students without Cuevas as an international opportunity to connect with certain legal status. Cuevas Canadian artist from his fans and legitimized him had to take jobs babysitting Vancouver. Cuevas says, as an artist. and cleaning houses to earn “They see me as an artist Since signing with an income and to stave off that left Mexico, became Aedon, Cuevas, has boredom. “It was really successful, and came back.” released three studio depressing,” Cuevas recalls During one interview, the and performed in less than fondly. radio station even hired two national tours across Despite his troubles, a translator because they Mexico. Cuevas’s first Cuevas attributes much didn’t know Cuevas spoke single “From the Start,” off of his success to his life in Spanish. The irony isn’t lost his upcoming album, Lava Vancouver. While living in on Cuevas, who laughs, (February 2013), reached the city, Cuevas completed “I’m more Mexican than No. 9 on Reverb Nation for the Basic Musicianship beans.” Latin artists across Canada program at Douglas For Cuevas, the and No. 3 in Vancouver. College, which changed experience at the Black Aside from being a hit the way he listened to Room became a bout across the country and in and appreciated music. between artist and Mexico, Cuevas says, “The He describes himself pre- audience. It came at a time song talks about starting program as an animal, in his career when all he over and taking what you playing his way by feel. wanted was for people to learn from the past and “Now,” says Cuevas, “I’m like him and his music. The becoming a better version more eloquent.” Cuevas scene forced him to present of yourself”—something also began to take his career himself in front of people Cuevas knows all too well. more seriously. He didn’t who hated him, but rather Cuevas looks back on want to be just another pop than dissuade him, he left difficult times in his first singer who looks pretty the show more confident years in Canada, before onstage, and he constantly than ever. After what many he acquired his landed looked for ways to improve would consider a traumatic immigrant status. After his craft. “When people say, experience, Cuevas says, finishing his film program, ‘you’re just doing music “I don’t feel like I need to his student visa had run for fun,’ I say, ‘No. It’s my prove anything to anyone. I out and he couldn’t apply job’—because it is.” just feel like I’m doing what for a work visa without Cuevas’ life in Canada is right for me.” company sponsorship. has also influenced his The Art Institute, which audience’s perceptions Manual Cuevas | Photo courtesy of Joel McCarthy

Bachelor of Performing Arts program career development. Each year, students enrolled in the program form a cohort- ouglas College now offers students the opportunity to run production company to host their own interdisciplinary complete the last 33 credits of a 120-credit Bachelors of Arts performing arts event. The project allows students to put their Ddegree. knowledge and skills to practical use. Focusing on both theory- and skills-based learning, The program has been developed as a partnership of students enrolled in the full-time program will have the chance Douglas College, Capilano University, Langara College, and to improve their proficiency in one or more performing arts Vancouver Community College. disciplines. Classes will also require students to investigate, The deadline to apply for 2013/2014 is set for February 8, critique, and challenge the socio-political and culture dynamics 2013. For more information, visit the Douglas College website, of the industry and provides training for business skills such contact Stuart Atkins at [email protected], or call as grant writing, founding an arts organization, and individual 604-984-4913.

13 Opinions. ‘Bagel Heads’

The hole in the thinking wish this simply meant just haven’t considered the people were spreading issue with an open enough of the latest craze cream cheese on their head mind to truly appreciate it. in a circular pattern, but But I doubt it. By Eric Wilkins, unfortunately it doesn’t. Of course, as with Staff Writer The procedure to become all body modifications, a bagel head involves a there is an eventual (if not don’t understand some needle, approximately immediate) downside. Japanese fads. Now, I’m 400ml of saline, and a ready The one that pops to mind Inot talking about the simple and willing forehead. After here is what the effect of and innocent crazes such the injection, which takes continuous bagel heading as Pokémon or Tamagotchi about two hours, a thumb will do. It’s not too far- because, let’s face it, is pressed into the middle fetched to imagine, if one everyone was into that. And of the blob. The bagel-like bagel heads consistently, even the more bizarre ones shape that is formed lasts this segment of the like butler/maid bars or for 16-24 hours. Speaking of population will develop ramen noodle baths, while bagels, if you don’t want to saggy foreheads. Another exceptionally odd, are at keep your lunch down, feel bit to note is the possibility least amusing. However, free to check out a video. of the saline being unsterile. the latest trend falls into My sole question here is Unsterile water is generally the category of body “why?” You can’t possibly the culprit behind that modification. Take a deep convince me that this is lovely green pus oozing breath, dear reader. in any way attractive—at out when someone gets a The last time Japanese least to inhabitants of this tattoo, and saline works the were changing their planet. And if something same way. However, in this physical appearance, LED isn’t easy on the eyes, it case, it would be clearly in teeth were the thing. It was should at least be practical. everyone, and anyone’s line insanely weird, but, as with Nope, nothing there either. of vision. Fun! other fads, it was worth a Much like male nipples, With the downsides laugh. The jokes one can bagel heads seem to be of bagel heading, and the come up with in relation completely and utterly fact that it doesn’t look to it are endless. But the useless. Having said that, good anyway, I just can’t current rage is just flat out I’m not a fan of excessive comprehend the obsession disturbing. body piercings either, yet with it. Absolutely mind- Bagel heads. Now, I other people are. Perhaps I bageling. School doesn’t make the person Finding ways to don’t devote time towards will go volunteering in for regular obligations, let By Natalie Serafini, improving myself in other Africa or spelunking alone dedicating energy diversify education and Opinions Editor ways. through caves, but there to something new and life I bought a ukulele a are talents and hobbies, different. love learning. If I ever couple of weeks ago, and life experiences, and little Although education won the lottery, I would apart from the enthusiastic, projects that make life more is extremely important, Iprobably put that money finger-aching, non- diverse than the weekly it’s not all that makes the towards staying in school. stop playing of the first filling up of an agenda. person. Between school Even with my education weekend, I haven’t made Life in university and and working for money enamor, I’ve found myself the time to pick it up since. I college has a tendency for school, we don’t make questioning the value of haven’t read a book for fun to stagnate when you’re the time to pursue other unilateral learning. By in months, and my plans focusing on essays, endeavors—educating that, I mean I question my to garden, cook, and take working, seeing friends in ourselves in ways that growth as a person when up jewelry-making have all between busy schedules, don’t relate to an essay by I spend so much of my fallen by the wayside. and doing it all over Aristotle, or understanding life focused on school and Obviously education is again. It loses the quality chemical compounds. The earning money for school. important, and not just for of diversity that some other side of education is We as students centre that slip of paper or blurb of us can still vaguely learning in a variety of ways a whole lot of our time on your resumé announcing remember: the days when to become a multifaceted around studying. Even that you accomplished you had time to take part person. Although this might when I’m not studying I this huge thing. Even so, in a school play, be on infringe on my time spent worry about doing well, it’s foolish to think that all multiple sports teams, or sleeping late or watching Seinfeld getting everything done there is to learn is absorbed take extracurricular classes. too much , I’d say in time, and figuring out from within the walls of a Instead, I find myself just it’s worth it. what I want to major in. I classroom. Not everyone struggling to make time 14 www.theotherpress.ca Opinions We aren’t actually hungry Complaints of at least three hours a day, that her students “[are] I suspect the students’ on paper doesn’t always not including farm work.” starving” was probably outrage stems from junk work out like you think.” starvation from school Kirkham is right that meant to be taken seriously. food withdrawal. “We Are So the kids are starving, such a person might need I find it difficult to Hungry” depicts students but they’re so disgusted by lunches are unjustified more calories than what sympathize with teenagers trekking off campus to fill the thought of eating fruits is provided in the school who are getting 850 calories up on Slurpees, ice cream, and vegetables that they’re By Natalie Serafini, lunches. Conversely though, from one meal, while there and massive bags of Tostitos willing to waste food and Opinions Editor if teens were working out are kids who wouldn’t to avoid the dreaded school go hungry—seems to three hours a day, obesity get that many calories in a lunches. Hate to break corroborate my argument recent parody video probably wouldn’t be the day. Wallace County high it to you kids, but those that these kids are just titled “We Are Hungry” rampant problem that it is. schoolers, I’m sure your unhealthy foods will do missing their junk food. Awas released, satirizing All the same, 850 pain is strong, but there are nothing to keep you full If the students were Michelle Obama’s push calories in one meal is children dying from actual because they provide so arguing that it’s not the to discourage childhood nothing to sneeze at. starvation. little nutrition. government’s place to obesity. The Healthy, Besides which, this is So why are these kids Adding to the dictate the number of Hunger-Free Kids Act of simply the maximum so angry? ludicrousness of these calories consumed in a 2010 limits high school number of calories the A study from the starvation claims are the meal, I would probably be lunches to a maximum of school lunches can provide. University of Missouri- statements made by Kansas inclined to agree with them. 850 calories and encourages If students have to Kansas City and the Rep. Tim Huelskamp who, When they go straight to, fruits and vegetables rather supplement this, I’m sure University of Kansas along with Iowa Rep. Steve “Oh woe is me, I have to than fatty foods. they’re allowed to brown Medical Center was recently King, has introduced a eat an apple at lunch,” my Well, the kids of bag some extra food. If released, revealing that bill to repeal the calorie sympathy evaporates. These America aren’t having it! they refuse to eat the school “scans of children show maximums of the Healthy, kids are getting healthy The video was filmed lunches all together, no the pleasure and appetite Hunger-Free Kids Act. lunches that will hopefully at Wallace County High one’s stopping students centres of their brains light Huelskamp addresses the discourage childhood School in Kansas, and from packing their own. up when they are shown requirement that students obesity. It may not be features the falsettos of The video stews in its advertising images such take a serving of fruit the government’s place hungry-hungry-teens own ridiculousness. It’s as the McDonald’s logo. ... or vegetable at lunch, to dictate calorie counts, lamenting the lack of food supposed to be funny, so It suggests fast-food firms regardless of whether they but it’s the school’s place on their plates to the tune the images of relatively are tapping into the reward plan to eat it. He states, “If to educate these young of “We Are Young.” Brenda privileged teenagers falling areas of the brain, and every member of Congress students on healthy eating Kirkham, an employee at down out of starvation that these develop before would actually go into a habits. the school, supports them, isn’t meant to be a serious the regions that provide school cafeteria and take a stating “Think of a high comment on their health. self-control, leading to look at the trash can, they’d school boy who works out Still, Kirkham’s statement unhealthy choices.” see that what sounds good New Westminster Station’s transformation A review of ‘The Plaza’ Safeway offers busy For coffee lovers, there’s made in their store too. students a quick snack Starbucks Coffee. Shefield None of their products are By Dominic Dutt, or errand run. The main & Sons Tobacconists imported—in fact, they are Contributor platform also includes a specializes in cigars and all Canadian-made. convenience store, Wind’s collector’s items, while But wait, you can’t he New Westminster mobile services, and West The Euro Stitch provides leave New Westminster SkyTrain Station is no Land Insurance. Alongside clothing alteration services. Station without going to Tlonger just an ordinary these are Extreme Pita, Also, upstairs on the the cinema first! Landmark place where passengers Royal Bank, Dollar Tree, eastbound side of the Cinemas offers reserved simply board and exit Flight Centre, and Subway. platform, there is a Fido seating, and tickets can be trains. Since early 2012, The Pizza Garden offers store, a Shoe & Repair, the purchased online. Movies this station has been delicious Wood Stove Fired Nestlé Tollhouse, Ardene, are played in digital transformed into a services Neapolitan Style Pizza. Fresh Slice for hungry surround sound, and some and entertainment centre Their prices are decent, pizza lovers, and Shefield have real 3-D picture. After known as “The Plaza,” with two pizzas and a pop Express for all your daily the movie, visitors can which serves passengers for under $5. Japanese fast news. The highlight here is board the train for a hassle- and the New Westminster food, “Togo Sushi,” has Rocky Mountain Chocolate free ride home. community. prepared sushi for those on- Factory. Whatever a person’s Mere steps away the-go. Rocky Mountain is passion may be, the New from the station, the Old For students who need pretty famous for their Westminster Station seems Spaghetti Factory offers to relax after school, there’s fudge, which is made ready to provide services affordable, fine dining. If The Lumina Beauty Lounge directly in their store. for all your basic needs, you have an urge for a beer, & Spa. Membership costs Their ice cream cones are from entertainment to just around the corner is $29, and members are handmade and dipped in grocery shopping. Come for Hops, a Northwest Pub. given discounts. Lumina chocolate. Anything they a visit—you may be in for a There will also be a new Beauty provides skin can dip into chocolate, they surprise! Tim Horton’s opening soon. care, massages, bridal will—including various On the main platform, services, and other aesthetic candies! They have a variety the new and spacious treatments. of ice creams, all freshly 15 Opinions Have an opinion? Contact us at [email protected] Time well wasted

A personal account of feel guilty, we’ve become too caught up with doing nothing pettiness. When we’re doing something that By Joel MacKenzie, we’ve labelled important Staff Writer or necessary, the earth still turns just the same as when read a story once in we’re doing something which everyone lived labelled anything else. Life Iforever. Two categories is never interrupted by of people emerged achieving, and achieving from this phenomenon: can’t be allowed to interrupt overachievers, who felt life. they needed to use this gift “Wasted” time is to achieve and experience necessary. Every moment everything the world had to can’t be scheduled. offer, and procrastinators, Pencilling in “relax” or “do who felt that, with infinite nothing” on a calendar, for time, everything could be instance, isn’t relaxing or put off until later. Each doing nothing: it’s treating category had its upsides these as a means to an Photo courtesy of Bella.Images (Flickr) and downsides. The end, rather than as ends in themselves; it’s treating overachievers got lots and when I could be studying morning before, I felt a myself that I needed to do them as things confined lots done, but never rested; English, exercising, playing sore throat developing, so I a lot of homework, and within their appointed time the procrastinators were an instrument, or learning decided to take raw garlic falling asleep while trying slots. very relaxed, but never did Russian. If I feel that I’m not to remedy it. Long story to do homework. It wasn’t If you’re an anything. doing enough, a nagging short, I swallowed half a filled with much. overachiever, and if you Even without worry occupies the back of clove with no water, it got It took a lot of guilt don’t have one already, infinite life, I fall into the my mind, telling me that stuck in my throat, the repression to get over the find a blank spot in your overachiever category. I I’m missing something. nurses’ hotline told me that fact that I needed to rest weekly schedule to stop like the idea of fitting the Sometimes it feels the only I had to go to the hospital, that day, not do the 1,000 trying to control it, and let most into every moment, way to truly experience I drank cola until two a.m. activities I had planned. your schedule find itself. waiting until the last second anything is to always be to dissolve it, and I worked Only with rest did I later No matter what it gets filled before leaving to catch a doing something. in the morning. The whole feel better. with, it’s not a waste of bus, or avoiding sitting The other day, I was next day was a blur of When the idea of time. for long in front of a TV forced to do nothing. The feeling sick, sleeping, telling doing nothing makes us Working hard, or hardly working? Those who can, do; I do Pilates twice a goes on to say that one of be unaccustomed to both. It’s easy to say week, and the two classes the classes is easier than This woman doesn’t something’s easy when those who can’t, I take are taught by the other. stop at suggesting that you don’t actually do it. different instructors. They First off, she’s out of Sunday classes are easier It’s unjustified, but it’s pretend both have very different shape. That’s perfectly than Wednesday classes, not a strain. I can say that styles, but the classes are fine, but if you don’t do either. She also says the it was easy to paint the equally difficult. In these anything during either classes must be a breeze Mona Lisa: I don’t paint, By Natalie Serafini, two classes is an older class, then trying to pass for those who are under and the few times that I Opinions Editor woman, the object of my one of them off as easy 20. Well, I’m under 20, have I definitely did not frustrations. I always notice is ludicrous. When I’m and I can tell you based produce a masterpiece, f you work out, whether that she’s one of those sweating through another on empirical evidence: but it’s not difficult to tout Iat a gym or in a class, you people who doesn’t fully workout, I don’t want to neither class is a breeze. its simplicity. When you may have noticed that there do the workouts, taking a hear that the class is easy— She seems to think that I say that something is easy are always certain people lot of breaks and stretching especially from someone must be winging through without acknowledging who don’t actually do while everyone else is who lays prone on the the classes, and although I the hard work that other anything. They come, they hoofing away. That’s her floor. recognize that someone of people do, you undermine half-ass their way through prerogative, and I pretty Not to mention that, if her advanced years must their efforts. Although I the class, maybe they don’t much leave her to her the Pilates classes are on find it more difficult, I’m know these classes are do the moves correctly, and stretching. Wednesdays and Sundays, not sure that age is as much difficult and that this they take an astonishing Things get annoying meaning they’re both once of a factor as she thinks. If woman doesn’t know number of breaks. I don’t when on Wednesdays, a week, how do you just you come consistently to what she’s talking about, care if someone can’t while everyone is groaning get accustomed to one of classes and actually do the I can’t exactly grimace or do the class perfectly— through another class, she them? Seems to me that work, you should develop groan in protest when the everyone’s fitness levels are says “It’s because we’re would happen if you muscle. It may be more senior citizen next to me is different, and I know there used to Sunday Pilates, only went to one of the difficult if you’re older, saying it’s “easy.” If you do are times when I get outrun that’s why this one is so classes—then you would but it’s not impossible. She the work and breeze right by a sexagenarian. What’s hard.” be unaccustomed to the doesn’t do the class, so through, fine. If you don’t beyond frustrating though, This is a woman who other. She goes to both; it’s understandable if she walk the walk, then don’t is when these slackers act essentially naps her way she child’s poses her way doesn’t think it’s getting talk. like the class was a breeze. through both classes, then through both; she should any less painful. 16 Sports. The BC Lions then and now By David Hollinshead, and nine . He 53 catches for 625 yards and Contributor was a very talented and four touchdowns. Thelwell exciting , also played a key part in he CFL playoffs are but he wasn’t much of a the playoffs, in two games right around the receiver out of the backfield. he had nine Tcorner, and it’s interesting Harris you can argue is receptions to look at each team and more receiver than running for 83 their individual chance of back, being third on the yards. success. The BC Lions look team in receiving yards and Foster primed to make another first in receptions. Harris has been deep post-season run with has games where it looks a good a very stacked roster. What like he’s getting shut down, target in might be interesting to see right before he breaks off a the red is how this squad compares huge run. He’s a playmaker, zone, to the team that won the can hit home runs at any in 2006. Yes, the time, and is very versatile. Lions won the Cup last year He is also Canadian, which too, but it would be rather gives this matchup to 2012. redundant to compare those teams when they’re : essentially the same. It’s At weak side receiver, been six years since the 2006 we have current Kierrie leading the team season, and the roster looks Johnson against Tony in touchdowns last almost nothing like it did Simmons. At strong side year. This year, he’s back then, so let’s do a little receiver, we have current had a significant drop compare and contrast and Akeem Foster against off, splitting with Marco see how they match up. . The weak Iannuzzi. The receivers this side receiver is usually year have done nothing that Mitchell are relentless nose found another answer at : the deep threat; Johnson measures up to Thelwell’s tackles, Khreem Smith and the safety position and has vs. Travis and Simmons have both production, and this could Chris Wilson set the edge been exploited repeatedly, Lulay. Dickenson carved had their moments where change in the future, but for and contribute, but Aaron even to this day. The present up defenses with a 70.4 you watch them run down now, it goes to 2006. Hunt gets the hands down secondary also doesn’t completion percentage, field and everybody is decision over Eric Taylor in make as many big plays as 3,032 yards, and 22 10 yards behind them. Slotback: every way. Edge: 2006. its former self did. It’s very touchdowns to seven Johnson cemented his role Both units had Linebacker: The linebacker close, but edge: 2006. , for a passer during the 2011 Grey Cup leading the charge. In depth in 2006 was rating of 111.2. The problem game when he hauled in a 2006, he had almost 2,000 ridiculous. , Special Teams: with Dickenson was his deep pass from Lulay for yards, and this year he has JoJuan Armour, , Kicker Paul McCallum health. He was the first of a , effectively struggled. Both teams also , and single-handedly won us the Lions long string of sealing the deal for the had a young Canadian who split time between three the Cup in 2006, and last injury prone , Leos. Simmons wasn’t was up and coming with linebacker spots. Each one year he set records for his and he didn’t play all 18 known for his ability to Paris Jackson then, and of them contributed, not one accuracy kicking field goals. games that year. Lulay, in make something out of now. They also of them complained. The He has struggled a bit this his first starting season, nothing, but he had wheels. had an aging All-Star with linebacker talent in 2012 year, but he’s still regarded led the team to a Grey Given the nickname then and is just as ridiculous. The as one of the best kickers Cup victory, and was the “Touchdown,” Simmons Arland Bruce III now. You tandems of , in the league. league’s Most Outstanding blew by defenders covering could debate this matchup , Anton was our returner in 2006. Player throwing for 4,815 him and no one could to death, and for that reason McKenzie, and Anthony He showed flashes of big yards, and 32 touchdowns ever catch him. He also I’m giving it a PUSH. Reddick are the best in the play ability, but nowhere to 11 interceptions. But he spent most of his time league when it comes to run near what Tim Brown has only threw for a 58 per on the injury list, never Offensive Line: defense. Edge: 2012. shown. Brown just seems to cent completion rate. Lulay really owning his role, The key thing for the have a natural ability to get has shown that he can be leading to his eventual offensive line is keeping Secondary: in the open space and down an exciting playmaker, release. The strong side the quarterback healthy. The secondary is the field. but his consistency and receiver is usually more of Lulay starts every game; division of the team that inexperience are worrisome. a possession guy, and who Dickenson was in and out has changed the least, The 2012 team just barely With Lulay’s inconsistency, was better than Thelwell? of the lineup. Edge: 2012. with , Korey makes it out on top when and Dickenson’s glass His nickname was Banks, and compared (on paper) to the bones, consider this “Automatic” because every Defensive Line: all returning from that 2006 Grey Cup squad. They matchup a PUSH. time he was thrown the The Lions have always 2006 squad, with Mark definitely have a chance ball, he caught it. Thelwell had a defensive line that Washington and Barron to make it a second Grey Running back: was a West Division All- ranked high in sacks, so Miles retiring. The Lions Cup in a row, and win the vs. Andrew Star in 2004 and 2005 with going person-to-person, brought in Byron Parker 100 Grey Cup in Toronto in Harris. Smith exploded on a 1,000-yard year in the they are equal. Keron and Lin-J Shell from Toronto November. the scene, in his first year latter. He did drop off in Williams and Brent Johnson this off season, which gives starting, he ran for 887 production afterwards, but are great pass rushers, the Lions a scary secondary. yards with a 5.3 average was third on the team with Tyrone Williams and Khalif After Miles, the team never 17 Sports Have a story idea? Contact us at [email protected] Athletes taking pay cuts to win championships

Mr. Allen. He is almost By Josh Martin, guaranteed a championship Sports Editor by playing for the Heat. A similar situation was ith the talent in made public in the NHL professional sports with Alex Burrows of the leaguesW these days, it seems Vancouver Canucks a few to be that the new way for seasons ago. He made it teams to be successful is if clear by taking a pay cut players give in to taking pay with the Canucks and cuts to their salary under saying that other players contract. This way, the top on the team should do the players all re-sign onto the same if they want to win same team for less money a Stanley Cup. The Sedins than they are valued at so are both under contract the team can afford them with affordable prices to under their respected salary their market value at twin caps. The most notable $6.1 millions per year. example of this is with the However the commitment Miami Heat basketball team hasn’t really paid off for in the NBA. the Canucks. Not enough In the summer of 2010, All-Star players are NBA superstar LeBron enticed enough to come to James decided to not re- Vancouver, let alone for a sign with the Cleveland Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James | Photo courtesy of www.digitalsportscene.net cheaper market price. How Cavaliers—the team who does a team arrange for this drafted him first overall in same team. And it paid off, $3.09-million contract that market. So, why does he to happen? the 2003 NBA draft—and as they took home the 2012 could be worth a maximum sign for less than triple the Heat president Pat Riley head down to Miami to join NBA championship last of $9.5 million over three price he was seeking for? should be applauded for fellow NBA stars, Dwyane season. years. The catch here is the It’s simple; if the Heat won what he’s done with Miami, Wade and newly acquired bringing in all of these Chris Bosh in the hopes of Heat president Pat Riley should be applauded for what he’s star players for a cheaper winning a championship. market value. They are All three players agreed to done with Miami, bringing in all of these star players for a nearly unstoppable with the take less money than what cheaper market value. latest addition of Allen to they were valued at in order the team. It seems like the to have a legitimate shot at only way to take the Heat being a number one team in This past off-season, fact that he was offered with the All-Star cast that down is if another team the league. The ‘big three’ the Miami Heat drew a two-year $12-million they had last season, then plays the same card as Riley were now the main core in another All-Star to contract by the Celtics and they are more than capable and brings in their own All- for the Miami Heat, All- their team—Ray Allen was hoping on landing of doing it again in the next Stars in order to be of any Star players playing on the from the Boston Celtics. a three-year $27-million year along with the addition competition. He reportedly signed a contract in the free agent of point guard specialist— Royals Update

By Josh Martin, Blues at 1 p.m. this Saturday and the Sports Editor VIU Mariners on Sunday at 3 p.m. They are in seventh position in the he men’s soccer team had a standings. successful weekend, beating the This weekend the Royals ThompsonT Rivers University Wolfpack volleyball teams will be opening their on Saturday, 1–0, and the UBCO Heat seasons against the Capilano Blues on on Sunday by a large margin of 5–0. Friday and Saturday. The women’s They are tied with the VIU Mariners team will be facing off at 6 p.m. at for first in the league with 24 points. Capilano and then back at Douglas Next weekend the Royals will host the on Saturday at 6 p.m. The men’s team Capilano Blues on Saturday at 3 p.m. will be playing both nights at 8 p.m. as and the VIU Mariners for a battle for well, with the first game away and the first place on Sunday at 3 p.m. second game at home. The women’s team lost both of their games this past weekend, falling 2–0 to the Wolfpack and 4–0 to the UBCO Heat. They host the Capilano 18 www.theotherpress.ca Sports Hair today, gone tomorrow Tackling by the hair is, fine; it’s his decision. But hair, how dangerous it is, players who choose to do the poor tackling habits it and should be, legal so should be well aware of can set, etc. I had to laugh. I the fact that they have no honestly don’t see how any- By Eric Wilkins, right to be angry if someone one can possibly defend this Staff Writer drags them down in a most one. If being taken down by undignified manner. the hair is such a perilous few weeks ago, Trent I read a comical article the risk, then why have long Guy of the Montreal other day where the writer hair? Why take that chance? AAlouettes was tackled sev- was reacting to various Both pro football leagues eral times by his hair. While comments made by CFL are actually encouraging many questioned whether director of officiating, Tom player safety by allowing this was legal and fair, the Higgins. Among the com- hair tackling. By not forc- official ruling is that it’s ments from Higgins was ing all players to cut their considered part of the uni- that, “…I think it hurts the hair, the leagues allow that form if it’s there. team when you give some- completely unnecessary bit Both the CFL and NFL rule body an additional advan- of individuality to exist, but that if a player’s hair falls tage.” The writer’s response the legal hair tackling rule ’ Trent Guy celebrates after scoring a touchdown past his helmet, it can be was that, “This is only an is a gentle reminder that it Photograph by Graham Hughes/The Canadian Press used to make a . And ‘additional advantage’ be- wouldn’t hurt to put your cause of an antiquated rule job and health first, and that’s the way it should be. affect your performance in a not a catwalk. No one cares that penalizes those who style second. It’s like play- Football isn’t an arena to negative fashion. what the players look like, have long hair.” ing the with long fin- make a fashion statement Frankly, I wouldn’t mind and neither should they. It’s He goes on to talk about gernails. Sure, you can do it, in. If a player doesn’t mind seeing players getting tack- their job to play football, the various safety issues and no one is going to stop presenting defenders with led by their manes on every and having long hair is a about being tackled by the you, but it will ultimately another target, then that’s play. It’s a football field, detriment to that job. Katz-astrophe Edmonton owner in hot about it. Using Seattle as a swer for you: no to the for- pawn in his negotiations mer and yes to the latter. water was a classless move. Not The major cost with any only did he waste Seattle new rink is always the rink By Eric Wilkins, officials’ time, but he lost itself. However, the city was Staff Writer any public goodwill he had going to cover the cost com- going for himself in Edmon- pletely ($475 million). Katz he new arena saga ton. wouldn’t need to pay a cent. in Edmonton, which “There was probably All our loveable moneybag Tis now in its fourth year, a little too much [bare- would have to dole out was looked to be wrapping up knuckled Mark] Messier $5.5 million a year for 30 last month with Oiler’s and not enough [graceful years as lease payments, owner Daryl Katz set to sign Wayne] Gretzky in the way and an estimated $10 mil- off on a heavily subsidized that we conveyed things,” lion a year in maintenance deal. But then he made said Katz, “What we didn’t fees. For his paltry $15.5 like a true NHL owner and consider was how our sup- million a year, Katz would asked for more money. The porters or our fans would receive all revenues from city said no, word leaked feel and that was wrong the arena for 11 months of out, Katz got angry, and and I apologize for it.” the year, and the naming then he did the unthinkable: The desperate attempt rights (valued between $1 he paid Seattle a visit. at some sentimental hockey and $3 million). Just to put Cue machine gun to the humour was clearly not go- how unbelievable a deal foot. ing to be enough to save his this is into perspective, the While he’s only owned skin though. With this in concession accounts for the team since 2008, you’d mind, he also took out a approximately $20 million think Katz would have fig- full-page ad in the Edmonton a year by itself. So what did ured out what Oiler fans are Journal and Edmonton Sun Katz say to this tremendous like. They love their hockey. to further apologize for his offer? He said “no” and As soon as the news broke exceptionally short-sighted asked for the city to cover that Katz was considering a thinking. While it will blow $6 million of the yearly move to Seattle, or at least over eventually, for the time upkeep. giving that impression, the being, Katz is in the dog- And now here we are, city exploded in a massive house. with the deal back in limbo wave of outrage. You don’t But surely Katz had again, and no party even just move the Oilers. You reason to do what he did, close to being happy. Way to don’t even consider it. You right? Surely no one is that go, Katz. Way to go. don’t even pretend to think boneheaded? Let me an- 19 Humour. LGBTQ representatives officially add ‘M’ to their acronym

New letter will with Ryan Gosling if given announcement have mostly the opportunity.” been positive, with many represent heterosexual Recent polls done praising the organization’s by the LGBTQ society of willingness to recognize males semi-infatuated Vancouver showed that a unreciprocated love for record 46 per cent of the a celebrity as a sexual with Ryan Gosling male population found orientation, but some themselves identifying with citizens are being critical By Jacey Gibb-Gosling, this mindset, up from the 23 about the letter change. Blue Valentine Enthusiast per cent reported a month “It’s a step in the before the release of Drive. right direction,” confirms epresentatives for Many experts have cited Stephanie Horchuck, the RLGBTQ rights in his performance in the 2011 creator behind the group Vancouver held a press critically acclaimed drama Ridiculous Requests for conference yesterday to as the main reason behind Righteousness. “But what officially announce what this spike of male-on-male about other movements like experts had already been crushes, as well as his the ‘Women who find Sarah speculating for months: that “totally dreamy eyes” and Jessica Parker attractive The M initial, which will officially come into effect next week, is meant to represent ‘males who identify as heterosexual, but would probably make out with Ryan Gosling if given the opportunity.’ they would be adding the “seemingly down to earth but only in a companion letter ‘M’ to their name, in personality.” kind-of-way’ association or an attempt to accommodate “Ryan Gosling is one the ‘Katy Perry can be my the growing population of of Hollywood’s hottest California girl anytime—but males who are, for the most stars right now,” explained mostly as a friend though’ part, attracted to females, LGBTQ Vancouver supporters? How is the but who would also likely spokesperson, Eric Scott. decision to officiate men get to first base with movie “So it’s no surprise that who want to mack on the star, Ryan Gosling. more and more males are guy from The Notebook The M initial, which starting to think, ‘Yeah, he going to reflect on the The Gos doing what he does best will officially come into seems like a pretty cool guy organization when they effect next week, is meant who likes cars and stuff. I refuse to recognize these reached out to Ryan girl, it’s hard for me to reify to represent “males who could definitely swap saliva other important groups on Gosling for a comment on Beauvoir’s theory of the identify as heterosexual, but with him.’” the same level?” the issue, he replied via lost female genius when I’m would probably make out Initial reactions to the When The Other Press Internet meme with “Hey around you.” Humourous Hymn Halloween

Well, another October has arrived. Time to go and egg some random houses.

Already people are buying costumes at various prices. The stores are also selling Christmas items at various prices.

Now most people are back to the grindstone I always got invited to Halloween parties in high school. except me; I just sit in a tree and throw rocks Everybody liked me back then because I could buy beer. at the birds strutting on the ground below. Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but I gotta get to class in five. Already I see many people huddled in groups Those fall courses aren’t going to fail themselves. chatting excitedly about their various events With files from Livia Turnbull

20 www.theotherpress.ca Humour

Campus News: college to boost brand by building bookshelves

deserve the nickname,” on the skills gained in the “average Joe or Jane.” University started offering By Sophie Isbister, says college brand IKEA-1200. The advanced Dougly anticipates that the this course in 2011, and Staff Writer developer Dirk Dougly in a course, which is still in the course will fill up rapidly, frankly I think it’s high candid interview with The planning stages, could offer and yes, students will be time that Douglas followed o combat the college’s Other Press. projects as advanced as a expected to bring their own suit.” Creative Writing faltering image in the The three-credit course MALM bedframe, or even Allen keys. “And let’s face student Fernando Pang Teyes of the average person, in the Faculty of Health a PAX wardrobe system,” it,” he adds: “Sometimes agrees with Badger, adding: Douglas College is set to Sciences will also include says Dougly building this stuff is so “we read a lot of books at offer a course in intro to a two-hour lab each week “The key message hard you feel like you need Douglas College, and some Ikea furniture assembly of us are even here to learn starting in winter 2013. Douglas College is set to offer a course in intro to Ikea to write books. It’s only “We think people view fitting that a well-rounded the institution of college furniture assembly starting in winter 2013. education should include in general, and Douglas the knowledge to build College especially, as where students will get of Douglas College is a bachelor’s degree to do shelves on which to hold outdated, and perhaps a the hands-on experience ‘do what you love,’” it!” said books.” bit elitist. Some people still required to assemble items says Dougly. “What Student response Other courses in the refer to Douglas College by ranging from a JANSJÖ about those students to the news has been works for the growing Life the demeaning nickname clip-lamp to a BILLY who love affordable and overwhelmingly positive Sciences faculty include of ‘Dougie Daycare.’ Well, bookshelf. “The college ecological home décor?” thus far. Criminology recycling, using TransLink. when you think about the hopes to come out with The emphasis here is the student Pamela Badger ca’s TripPlanner, and college offering courses a second-year course need for the college to thinks it’s a great idea: “I 101 home uses for old like these; it does kind of where students can build keep up with the pace of heard that Simon Fraser newsprint.

21 Humour Think you’re funny? Contact us at [email protected]

Lovable kitty cat overthrows Chadian government in bloody coup

Thousands die in have previously killed After seizing the capital Press some insight into the the Islamic Republic may family members and city of N’Djamena on Chairman’s fluffy little be supplying arms to Chad. adorable yet brutal civil former friends on a whim. Thursday in the cutest little mindset. He has solidified peace on As well, he is said to have street-to-street carnage “The General is very Chad’s southern border by war established secret death you’ve ever seen, Chairman tired at the moment. He offering President François camps to punish all those Meow declared martial has just led us in glorious Bozizé of the Central By Liam Britten, who disobey his tyrannical law—or maybe he declared battle, and now must sleep African Republic a dead Senior Fuzzy-Wuzzy laws. martial claw! Regardless, for about 20 hours a day, sparrow as tribute. Correspondent Or, maybe it’s for those the Red Cross believes over up from his usual 16,” he International who disobey his tyrannical 500 people were executed said in a phone interview. observers fear that while he landlocked African paws? that day by his death “The General is doing this the humanitarian crisis nation of Chad has been That’s right: this squads. The Chairman has not only for the people of is appalling, the greater Twracked by civil wars, dictator is no ordinary gripped Chad like no other Chad, but also for another tragedy may be the coups d’état, and rebellions strongman; he’s actually tyrant has been able to in cause: raising funds for international journalism for the better part of its 52- a strong-cat! Formerly a years, and appears to have the peaceful SPCA. Yes, community’s inability to year existence. However, content housecat named finally filled the power he supports the peaceful write a story about the stability may have been Whiskers, “Chairman vacuum—hey, maybe now Syndicate for Poisoning Chairman without making achieved, albeit with a Meow,” as he’s now he’ll outlaw actual vacuums! Communist Activists very adorable cat puns. This is heavy and still unknown known, is the cuddly The Chairman is said much.” certainly a challenge for cost, as a mysterious little despot who could. to be intensely paranoid, The Chairman has many correspondents, as new rebel leader has After using his personal and only appears in front already begun diplomatic the general is just so darn claimed victory over the magnetism and adorable of a small inner circle of efforts, reaching out to cute! government and declared snuggling ability to take advisors, or anyone who other pariah nations As of press time, himself President. charge of a group of rattles a bag of Temptations in an attempt to build ethnic violence remains So what do we know narcoterrorists, he’s been in front of him. The new international trade. He was widespread and merciless. of this charismatic figure, leading a campaign of Minister of Information, seen rubbing against the D’awww! other than he is said to unbridled, cuddly terror Mahamat Habré, is the leg of Iranian President torture enemies in brutal upon the desperate people public face of the regime, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, ways? He is believed to of Chad. and he gave The Other leading to speculation that 22 www.theotherpress.ca Humour

By Collyn Chan—The Ubyssey (Univesity of British Columbia)

By Joel MacKenzie, Staff Writer

23