Volume 37 - Issue 1 - Friday, September 7, 2001 Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

Volume 37 - Issue 1 - Friday, September 7, 2001 Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, Library@Rose-Hulman.Edu

Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Fall 9-7-2001 Volume 37 - Issue 1 - Friday, September 7, 2001 Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

Follow this and additional works at: https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn

Recommended Citation Staff, Rose Thorn, "Volume 37 - Issue 1 - Friday, September 7, 2001" (2001). The Rose Thorn Archive. 305. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/305

THE MATERIAL POSTED ON THIS ROSE-HULMAN REPOSITORY IS TO BE USED FOR PRIVATE STUDY, SCHOLARSHIP, OR RESEARCH AND MAY NOT BE USED FOR ANY OTHER PURPOSE. SOME CONTENT IN THE MATERIAL POSTED ON THIS REPOSITORY MAY BE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT. ANYONE HAVING ACCESS TO THE MATERIAL SHOULD NOT REPRODUCE OR DISTRIBUTE BY ANY MEANS COPIES OF ANY OF THE MATERIAL OR USE THE MATERIAL FOR DIRECT OR INDIRECT COMMERCIAL ADVANTAGE WITHOUT DETERMINING THAT SUCH ACT OR ACTS WILL NOT INFRINGE THE COPYRIGHT RIGHTS OF ANY PERSON OR ENTITY. ANY REPRODUCTION OR DISTRIBUTION OF ANY MATERIAL POSTED ON THIS REPOSITORY IS AT THE SOLE RISK OF THE PARTY THAT DOES SO. VOLUME 37, IssuE 1 ROSE-HULMAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2001 Rose-Hulman Spends Third Year in a Row with #1 Ranking

VanSchoiack Hulbert proudly pointed out that neering, Civil Engineering, Lindsey the distance between first and sec- Computer Engineering , Electrical Editor-in-Chief ond place had widened even though Engineering and Mechanical Engi- this year's poll received more neering. While last year the ranking afternoon the Kahn Yesterday respondents than had previous in Computer Engineering was room saw some excitement as years. shared this year the title belonged to David Piker executive director of Hulbert also announced the Rose alone. external affairs, hand delivered a results of the Departmental rank- "A complete sweep," Hulbert FedEx envelope to President Hul- ings. "I regret to inform you that we beamed as he finished his bert. Inside the envelope was the are not ranked number one in aero- announcement. US News and Worlds Reports 2002 nautical engineering," Hulbert Hulbert also revealed the choices rankings. Hulbert proceeded to stated in a solemn tone, he went on for this year's hat, a common sight announce that Rose-Hulman has to remark that that was ok since we in the last three years. The choices been ranked as the Best Undergrad- don't have the program. all fit the president well and Bryan uate Engineering School for the Hulbert proceeded to herald the Dyer, director of alumni affairs, third consecutive year. The results number one rankings of the follow- mentioned that the first hats will be will be published in the September ing departments: Chemical Engi- here tomorrow. 17th issue of the magazine.

Photo courtesy Rose-Hulman jams, t President Samuel Hulbert models the new line of"Rose-Hulman .we #1" hats. GM • ^,-.11k New Business Offers High-Tech Testing Career Photo courtesy Bonfire Committee Experience to Rose-Hulman Freshmen continue to work on the bonfire for the upcoming Homecoming festivities. Students Solar Phantom Team competes in longest New Business Offers High-Tech install microchips on circuit boards Testing Career Experience to Rose- because of their size," he noted. solar race ever Hulman Students "The lab will employ up to 10 Circuit boards are essential to the Rose-Hulman students who will operation of most devices from receive valuable experience using computers to cars. Despite their sophisticated analysis equipment, essential nature for performance, McInerney said. many manufacturers can't afford A scanning electron microscope the high-tech equipment needed to and energy dispersive X-ray spec- analyze the performance of circuit trum analyzer are among the boards. devices Mikronica technicians will Those companies can now bene- use. fit from services provided by Mik- McInerney says Mikronica will ronica Laboratories, Inc., a new give students experience in a com- business that uses state-of-the-art mercial laboratory environment micro-testing and analysis equip- without leaving campus. ment that will provide job opportu- "They'll have to meet numerous nities for Rose-Hulman students. tight deadlines," he said. "They'll Mikronica is housed in a micros- learn that the bottom line is produc- copy lab on the first floor of the ing results for the customer. Stu- John T. Myers Center for Techno- dents interested in materials science logical Research with Industry. will be very attracted to the jobs." Photo courtesy Solar Phantom Team Mikronica was created by Rose- He said companies beyond those The Solar Phantom VI lines up in Barstow, CA on the final day of the American Solar Challenge. Hulman Physics and Applied who use circuit boards can also ben- Optics Professor Michael McIner- efit from the services of the labs. Don Harrington car race ever, the Solar Phantom the Continental Divide. Drivers ney and Terre Haute attorney "Most companies having materials- VI placed eighth out of 28 teams were exposed to a full spectrum of Michael Sacopulos of the Sacopu- related problems can contact us for Copy Editor who finished the race. Competi- weather; from torrential rains to los, Johnson, and Sacopulos law solutions." tors from the United States, Can- heat indexes of 120 degrees. Driving cross-country from Chi- firm. McInerney gives credit to Sacop- ada, Great Britain, and Italy made "There's a great sense of accom- cago to Los Angeles along "Amer- Mikronica specializes in quality ulos for his entrepreneurial ideas up the field of entries. Rose-Hul- plishment knowing that we fin- ica's Main Street" is an adventure control testing and failure analysis that led to the creation of Mikro- man claimed the pole position dur- ished the race. It was certainly a in itself. But to accomplish this of circuit boards and their intercon- nica. "Mike has a good business ing a qualifying race last spring, challenge," stated Team Leader feat without using a drop of fuel is nections with electronic compo- sense and lots of ideas. I'm provid- and led the pack of 30 cars out of Brad Berron, a senior from St. even more amazing. The Solar nents, according to McInerney. ing the technical knowledge," downtown Chicago this past July. Louis. Phantom team's latest challenge The need to provide these types McInerney says of the partnership. The race ran along the treacher- The team holds its weekly meet- was the 2,300 mile race along His- of services is increasing because of To contact Mikronica call 812- ous roads of Illinois and Missouri, ing on Wednesday at 7:00 pm in toric Route 66. the miniaturization of technology. 877-6094 or via e-mail at Mikro- across the scorching deserts of the E104. All who are interested are Competing in the longest solar "It's become more difficult to [email protected]. Southwest, and over the ridges of welcome to attend. ENTERTAINMENT WEATHER WATCH FRIDAY Sctrd T-Storm/Hi 82-Lo 68 "0" is strong, if you can Lotto a stupid idea? Engineers ready for Top ten reasons you handle it Tigers missed school so much SATURDAY Page 5 Page 6 Page 8 Sctrd T-Storm/Hi 80-Lo 54 Pages 7 information courtesy The Weather Channel

Latit:Paaartia,' .AMMIWWWWWWW•M The Rose Thorn Page 2 EVENTS Friday, September 7, 2001

7 8 Hallympics SAB - Brian GA PUS Brushwood 8pm Rush Informals Fighting Arts Fest CALENDAR 2001

9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Rush Informals Closed Rush Closed Rush Closed Rush Closed Rush Closed Rush Closed Rush

Blue Key Pep Rally & Homecoming Bonfire

Disco Deming

16 17 18 19 20 21 22 Closed Rush Closed Rush Blood Drive Blood Drive WVEA Downtown

Street Party (all students)

Intervarsity Unkegger 9-11 pm

23 24 25 26 27 28 29 Panhellenic Rush Panhellenic Rush Graduate School Fraternity First FAS Singing Hoosiers Party 5-11 pm Seminar Formals

Closed Mens's Rush

Rose-Hulman Homecoming 2001 Mark your calendars with the following dates:

Homecoming Oueen Contest Entry Forms and Rules Available in the Union Office wan Or by Contacting Jenny Diedrich, Box 595 a checking accuun Deadline: 11:00am Monday, September 10th Homecoming Banner/Cheer Contest Entry Forms and Rules esigned to meet Available in the Union Office Or By Contacting Jenny Diedrich, Box 595 my nTal Deadline: Noon on Wednesday, September 12th

THSB COLLEGE PLUS Checking: Homecoming Queen Primary Elections • No monthly service charge Tuesday, September 11th from 2nd-9th Hour •FREE online banking www.thsb.corn • Nu minimum In The Commons balance 7111011 * • Opening balance $50 Each Person Votes for Three Candidates • First 50 checks are FREE IrleS15 Unlimited check writing TERM HAIM SAINCS MAX •••• • Homecoming Oueen Final Elections Thursday, September 4729 S US Hwy 41 • 6th and Ohio Streets• 2344&&4 13th from 2nd-9th Hour In The Commons Mark's Par Three Each Person Votes for One Candidate Golf Course Homecoming Pep Rally and Bonfire 1/2 Mile North of U.S. 40 Friday, September 14th from the East Glen stop light 8:30pm at Cook Stadium Bring In Your Student I.D. and Get 1/2 off Green Fees Homecoming Football Game (Offer valid weekdays only) Saturday, September 15th 2:00pm at Cook Stadium • Phone: 877-1467

SUBMISSIONS

Events may be published in Events by any organization or individual. Information on club meetings, lectures, speeches, and athletic events, including announcements of times and locations may be submitted to Campus Calendar, in care of Dale Long, associate director of communications, at Box 14 or extension 8418. More detailed articles containing plans, agendas, and specific information should be submitted to the Rose Thorn. All submissions must be made by Wednesday at noon in order to be published in Events in the Rose Thorn on Friday. The Rose Thorn Friday, September 7, 2001 NEWS Page 3 RNews MATH CORNER PROBLEM OF THE WEEK

Briefs A continued fraction is an infinite quotient where there typically is a Problem: discernible pattern to the fraction, see the example below. accreditation Fighting Arts Fest this week- Rose retains The continued fraction to the right solves a 1 For those of you who noticed end the accreditation process going on The annual Fighting Arts Fest quadratic equation, 1 last year, and for those of you that will be held this Saturday, Septem- 2 2+ 2+ 1 either weren't here or forgot, the ber 8, on Speed lawn. The Fencing ax +bx+c=0 results are in. All the engineering and Martial Arts Clubs will spon- Determine the equation, 1 informal com- 2 + departments at Rose have been sor demonstrations, and then use the quadratic equation to 1 petition, and a mock fencing fully re-accredited by ABET. Con- the continued fraction as a radical. 2+ gratulations are in order for all of tournament. All are invited to rewrite 2 + ... those who have put in the work to come and participate in the fun. earn re-accreditation. The fest starts at 1:00 p.m. and will Historical Fact: Finite continued fractions have been used through- last through the afternoon. out the ages by Arabic, Hindu and Western Civilations to obtain approximations for irrational numbers. Freshmen Class President Candidates 1. Contest is open to all students at Rose-Hulman. Contest 2. The best solution as judged at the next Math Club meeting will be awarded two Brian Barker: If elected, make Rose-Hulman even better new dollar coins. (See solution criteria below) Brian would like to bring unity to than it already is. He has had Rules: 3. In case ofa tie, each winner will be awarded a new one dollar coin. the class and have everyone work many leadership opportunities and 4. Solutions must be submitted by 1:00 p.m. on Wednesday to David Finn at G 213. together for the common good of led many athletic teams in high 5. Eligible Voters: All students at the Math Club meeting during 10th period on the class. His leadership experi- school. He was involved in NHS, Wednesday in G 220. ences include being an Eagle French Club, Track, and Drama 6. Ifno correct solutions is submitted. No prize will be awarded. Scout and involvement in clubs in Club. As Freshman Class Presi- high school; he is currently dent, he would like to lead the • Solution must be correct. involved with Habitat for Human- class of 2005 to prosperity. Steve Solution • Solution must be documented or explained. ity and Rose Chorus. Brian went above and beyond the call of • Clarity of solution. Solution should be easily understood. decided to run because he really duty by getting more signatures Criteria: • Elegance of solution. Number of steps should be minimized without affecting clarity. likes the Freshman class and than necessary. wants to work with them. Available on the web at Scott Tourville: If elected, http://www.rose-hulman.edu/—finn/mathcorner.html Cheryl Fang: If elected class Scott would organize events, both president, Cheryl would like to entertaining and community ser- get the Freshman class involved vice, that would unite the Fresh- SGA Senator Candidates in the Rose-Hulman community. man class. He is qualified for the She is very outgoing, energetic, position because of his involve- and is willing to try anything. She ment in clubs in high school; Blumberg Hall - 2 Senators Jason LaBella Skinner Hall - 1 Senator is very open to new ideas and Scott was involved in Fellowship Josh Ford Dale Willey Logan Bowers embraces novelty. Cheryl is run- of Christian Athletes and Interact Chris Scribner Ron Zuckerman Melva Lucas ning for Freshman Class President Community Service Club. He Gordon Thompson because she believes it would be decided to run for President BSB Hall - 5 Senators Mees Hall - 2 Senators fun and it would give her some- because he wants a challenge. Jennifer Cain Nicolle Burris Speed Hall - 4 Senators thing to do. Scott was voted. the Most Cheryl Fang Katie Herber Noppon Chaijaroonrat Involved in his Senior Class. Jonathon Frochte Jake Klug Matt Ellis Juan Pablo Gonzalez: If Laura Hemming Chad Zarse Sam Forster elected class president, JP would Carrie Wiley: If elected, Carrie Crystal Landreth Adam Jarboe like to organize fun events and be would want to bring the Freshmen Natalie Morand New Hall - 7 Senators Chris Jung in contact with the Freshman class class together and keep everyone Steve Reed Nick Clark Craig McRoberts that he represents. He feels that informed. She has held leadership Brandon Reeser David Drapac Mark Smith he's good at communicating and positions before in National Stephanie Smith Jessica Farmer Scott Tourville likes finding solutions to prob- Honor Society, Fellowship of Andrea Nowling lems. JP wants to become Fresh- Christian Athletes, and Pep Club. Commuters - 14 Senators Zachary Roth man Class President because he's Carrie is also motivated and Danielle Cooper really likes Rose and wants to friendly. She decided to run for Scharpenberg Hall - make it even better. He was Freshman Class President because Deming Hall - 4 Senators 2 Senators involved in Student Council in she wants the Freshman class to Ailur Blair High School. have the best representation possi- Vincent Franco JP Gonzalez ble. Carrie is a Civil Engineer Scott Herber Peter Smith Steve Reed: If elected class because she has always been a fan Cory Howell president, Steve would try to of Legos and Tinkertoys and is interested in design. EXPERIENCE THE

GREAT THE OOD PIZZA! BIZARRE MAGIC SHOW , Taste the Magic! Features magic, comedy, and bizarre feats like fire eating, a REAL straitjacket escape, and several effects not available ANYWHERE ELSE! Watch * guy: pound a 4.5 In. nail up his nose brook a 40 Its. concrete block on his head RHIT DEAL perform bizarre feats and magic Stick nails in his eyes rood minds eat fire and sO000d much morel LARGE ONE TOPPING Pizza ONL $6 99 THE BRIAN BRUSHWOOD - BIZARRE MAGIC SHOW WILL BE PERFORMING ON STAGE: Saturday, Sept 8tb. 2001 8:00 PM The Kahn Room - Union * STROMBOLI * MAGIA BREAD This show features To see video of Brian's incredible show, escapes, dangerous complete with national TV appearances, visit: FREE DELIVERY! * MAGIA CHEESE BREAD stunts, mind reading, * MAGIA WINGS magic, and more. Although amazing, * SWEETIE PIES hilarious, and safe, It is not a traditional 234-2001 magic show. The Rose Thorn Page 4 NEWS Friday, September 7, 2001 The new freshman class more studious and more involved

ating the class was to have a more next day of classes. The largest them, not only on the floor, but be expected from a group with Adam Thompson diverse student body. This year portion of freshmen will be taking between Halls as well. Floor pride such strong talent in so many dif- Staff Writer marks the largest female enroll- classes for a Mechanical Engi- has developed a strong presence ferent areas throughout its years ment Rose has ever experienced neering degree, the most popular this year through all of the activi- here at Rose and beyond. At the beginning of each new with 93 females making up about major, with Computer Engineer- ties the residence hall staff Although the school year has school year, Rose-Hulman wel- 23% of the class; a higher per- ing as the next most common planned to get everyone better just begun and the freshmen are comes its latest freshman class. centage of females than the major for the class of 2005. These acquainted and to help the new just getting used to life at Rose, The school itself has developed national average for engineering new students don't seem to be students find their place at Rose- already they have demonstrated the reputation it has today through schools. Although diversity was a overwhelmed by classes yet, say- Hulman. Some freshmen floors their worthiness to be here. The the accomplishments of the stu- priority, that's not to say that the ing that the amount of work have developed such a strong unity, pride, and teamwork on dents. What once was just an idea admissions department lowered required and the difficulty of each unity that they're already begin- each floor will create great friend- for a quality science and engineer- any standards to accomplish this class is exactly what they ning to plan floor activities on ships and help students pull each ing school has evolved into RHIT goal. This year's freshmen had expected based on Rose's reputa- their own without even needing other through the difficult years today because of the special quali- the highest percentage of students tion. Although a good majority of the help of the S.A.s and R.A.s. ahead. Their diversity in gender, ties each new class brings to the in the top fifth of their high school their time is taken up by course Beyond the floor activities, race, and interests brings new per- whole school. The class of 2005 is graduating class for the past 10 work during the week, the fresh- many of the freshmen are also spectives to Rose-Hulman and no exception to the tradition of years of Rose-Hulman. men still find time to express involved in extracurricular activi- makes campus a more fascinating talented classes that Rose has wel- According to residence hall themselves in other ways. ties like football or soccer. This place. This class holds promise to comed. staff, this year's class puts a high The class of 2005 has had an class was actively involved on be some of the very best and will After careful consideration, the priority on its studies. On a typi- extremely high turn out for group campus before many of the clubs no doubt help lead Rose-Hulman Admissions department reduced cal school night, nearly all of the activities like the Hall Olympics ever began this year with the toward its goal of remaining the 3,034 applicants down to a class doors on the floor are shut and the and floor trips to places like promise that even more freshmen best in undergraduate science, of 405 of the brightest students. students are in bed before mid- BW3's or Indianapolis. There is a are sure to join clubs demonstrat- engineering, and math. One of the important goals in cre- night in order to be ready for the strong sense of community among ing their other interests. A lot is to Pi Kappa Alpha wins Welcome back to Rose-Hulman national awards

from the ladies of Matthew Brandt evening when Iota Delta chapter was once again awarded the distin- Staff Writer guished Robert Adgar Smythe AAA Five gentlemen from the Pi Award. The award, named after a Kappa Alpha Fraternity, Iota Delta Junior-Founder who gave selflessly Chapter, here at Rose-Hulman of his energies to the fraternity for Good luck to all the athletic teams recently attended the international many years, is the most coveted fraternity's Officer's Leadership award of the fraternity. It is given competing this weekend! Academy (OLA) in Memphis, TN. annually to the top 5-10% of the The Academy is a five-day experi- national chapters. This year 16 ence where leadership tracks are chapters (7% of the total national offered to develop the leaders of fraternity) were given the award. each chapter. Officers identify their The award is given to a Chapter leadership style, develop the skills Excellence award winner based on they have to offer the fraternity, and scholarship (having a GPA of 3.0 or are given practical ways to lead, not higher), campus involvement, com- manage, each of their respective munity service, and many other cri- chapters. teria. Iota Delta was awarded a partici- The approximate 75 brothers of pation award in the 2001 Phone-a- the chapter attained a 3.14 GPA at thon for the Pi Kappa Alpha Educa- the end of last year. They logged tional Foundation and was recog- over 6000 hours of campus service nized as having 100% participation through Resident Assistants; Soph- leaders of var- Better Ingredients. in the chapter scholarship endow- omore Advisors; and ment fund. The chapter was also ious clubs such as president of ASCE, and Better Pizza. awarded the 2001 Best International Climbing Club, ASME, The Workday Improvement Project Outdoor Adventure Club. award. The men of Iota Delta brothers gave approximately 2800 service back to Rose- 1234 Wabash Ave. Rose worked all day one Saturday last hours of community community in March on their 24-acre property, the Terre Haute Special which formerly was Glenn Home, projects such as TREES, inc.; Bikes Hulman Salvation Army Bell 232-7272 an orphanage. Brothers and alumni for Tykes, worked to fill in the massive steam Ringing, and Tri Kappa Mouse Campus Only tunnels which run under the prop- House. Scott Himes was the erty, painted numerous rooms in Last year, Peter their buildings, and ran an electrical chapter's President, while line from the main house to the Gunderson and Kyle Allen served Large One -Presidents. Kyle Spontak, garage; as well as many other as Vice Brian Knight $5.99 projects accomplished. The Pi Don Harrington, and Topping Kappa Alpha Fraternity main house served as secretary, treasurer, and respectfully. and boiler house were placed on the sergeant at arms, through These leaders of the chapter helped Monday through Open Thursday National Historic Registry last sum- mer. to achieve the eighth Smythe in the Saturday at Wednesday Sunday OLA culminated on the final 13-year history of Iota Delta here 10 AM to 1 AM 12 PM to 12AM 10AM to 2AM Rose Hulman. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS

students, on the basis of race, religion, FOR RENT campus. 7 year standing rental Freshman involved in ROTC, free to Rose-Hulman relationship with Rose Hulman tantra, cooking, and being a faculty, and student organizations. sexual orientation, or gender. Newly 4 room apartment for rent. students. Nice quiet area/ fully redneck seeks a good looking For submissions of more than 30 Submissions may be made at the remodeled, A/C, stove, words, each additional word is 15 furnished. Full basement/ with w/ girlfriend who likes trucks, likes Thorn office, through campus refrigerator, washer/dryer, thinks cowboy cents. d hook-up. $200.00 per student + working out, and mail addressed to the Thorn, at furnished. Clean, quiet and safe deposit. Call anytime (812) 232- boots and hawaiian shirts are sexy All other classified advertisements [email protected] or by neighborhood. $500/month 0372 - ask for Philip or Mary when not worn together. Call Jake are $3.00 for the first 30 words calling the Thorn office at includes utilities. Call 234-7644 Wilson at 877-8567 or visit at Speed 211. 15 cents for each additional extension 8255. Deadline for and ask for Alan Mouser. and PERSONALS word. Payments must be made in submissions: 5p.m. the advance. Wednesday prior to publication. 37 Home Avenue SWF with sense of SWM seeking Runs over one week must be Terre Haute, IN 47803 article on the flip POLICIES humor. See my The Rose Thorn reserves the right renewed weekly by contacting 4 bedroom house, 2 baths, central I'm really side. I'm really lonely. The Rose Thorn offers classified to refuse advertising which the the Thorn office. air conditioning. Approximately really lonely... Contact Ryan at advertisements less than 30 words editors judge to be discriminatory 1 mile from Rose Hulman 877-8770 The Rose Thorn Friday, September 7, 2001 ENTERTAINMENT Page 5 0 wow: Shakespeare's back

he appears to love Odin. How- Pete Smith ever, he is unable to become the Staff Writer best on his own and begins to use steroids. This, however, does not give him the edge he needs so he decides to go after the com- 0 petition. Through Hugo's direct * * .25 manipulation, the entire world in Starring which Odin lives is flipped up- side down and with it so Makhi Phifer are the characters. Odin begins to look Julia Stiles downright evil near the end of Josh Hartnett the film. The actors prove themselves to be very talented. Even though Imagine a world that is so they are young, they are believ- twisted high school students able in many different emotional would plot each other's deaths, states. This movie is an emo- manipulate each other into doing tional roller coaster and it horrible acts, such as drinking doesn't stop sending you down way too much, and doing drugs the big drop until the very end. I that are not prescribed by a prac- do not want to give away the ticing doctor. Seems kind of ending, but in the showing I went to a lady in the back started easy actually. This world, strik- www.imdb.com ingly similar to our own, is the screaming some very colorful world of "0" a new movie by di- words when the climax was fi- rector Tim Blake Nelson best Makhi Phifer, Julia Stiles, and Josh Hartnett star in a great rendition of a classic play. nally reached. This is not a hap- known for playing the half-wit py film but is a very good one Delmar O'Donnell in last year's However, for those who believe is mostly Hip Hop and Rap, Stiles ("10 Things 1 Hate About that gets the audience emotional- hit "0 Brother Where Art they can handle the violent na- which actually fits well with the You", and "Save the Last ly involved in the action. Thou?" but you probably have ture of the film, it is a real treat. feel of the film. Dance"). I guess its time for the rating. not seen anything he has direct- This adaptation of Shakes- The story centers on Odin Everything seems to be going On a scale of one to four where ed. peare's "Othello" opts to drop James, played by Mekhi Phifer great for all the kids at this four is a classic and I is "Ninja The release date for this film the traditional iambic pentame- ("Shaft", and "Carmen: A Hip school until the coach's son Academy," I give this film three was pushed back substantially ter verse found traditionally in Hopera"), who is the only Black Hugo Goulding, played by Josh and a quarter stars. It is a great due to similarities of recent vio- Shakespeare's plays including student at a private high school. Hartnett( "Pearl Harbor') is not film that presents social com- lence in high schools around the the modernized "Romeo and He was recruited strait off the voted MVP. He becomes in- mentary that makes you think nation, and for some people it Juliet" for a completely original streets of the inner city to play sanely jealous and initiates the about who you are and does so in will hit too close to home for script. The plot is, for the most basketball for the school, and is downfall of everyone he calls his an engaging way. However the them to see it. The R rating is part, unchanged. I found this to voted MVP of the team as a friend. Hugo seems driven by a violence was a little bit too much well deserved and this film is not be a great rendition of a classic sophomore. He is a charming in- want for love from his father and for me. I suggest that you go see a substitute for "Rat Race." play. The changes only show dividual with a great smile who will stop at nothing to be the best this film but make sure you are There are graphic scenes of rape how universal Shakespeare's is even dating the dean's daugh- basketball player on the team so prepared for the personal feel- and death throughout this film. plays truly are. The soundtrack ter Desi Brable, played by Julia that his father will love him like ings it may stir. A tribute to a star

Jason Caron weight capacity including passen- surrounds this crash and the deci- gers, cargo, and fuel, should not sions leading up to it. 4er4:. Staff Writer have exceeded 6,300 pounds. Aaliyah began performing at The investigation by the Baha- age 11 in Las Vegas with legend- mas' Department of Civil Avia- ary singer Gladys Knight. In Aaliyah tion concluded that the fuel 1994, she released her debut weight was 804 pounds while the album, platinum hit "Age Ain't The Life and Death of a Star baggage, including equipment Nothing But A Number", at only for the music video, grossed in at fifteen years old. She was recog- 574 pounds. This, of course, nized again with a Grammy nom- meant that the total weight limit ination for her hit single, "Try of the nine passengers on board Again," from the film "Romeo Amidst the controversial deaths (two women and seven men), Must Die," in which she also of several American music artists, should not have exceeded 805 starred alongside actor Jet Li. In it is a great sadness to hear of the pounds. Unfortunately, seven July, she released her third solo death of one of America's pre- grown men (Aaliyah's body- album, Aaliyah, which before her mier rising R&B stars. guard Scott Gallin weighed 300 death had almost sold a half-mil- On Saturday, August 25th, pounds) cannot be expected to lion copies. Sales of her newest Aaliyah Naughton, known to her fall into this weight restriction. album jumped 410/o after her fans as simply Aaliyah, was one Excluding Gallin, even if all other death. On the acting front, she of nine passengers killed when passengers weighed in at 170 had recently completed filming the twin-engine propeller-driven pounds (industry standard for for Anne Rice's "The Queen of Cessna they were in crashed weight calculation on planes), the Damned," and was also shortly after take-off into a the plane would still have been scheduled to appear in the swampy scrub and immediately 855 pounds over its capacity. If upcoming sequel to "The burst into flames. Aaliyah and this large overload of weight was Matrix." her fellow passengers had just distributed improperly, it would Aaliyah's third and final living completed filming a music video obviously render the aircraft vir- release presents more of her typi- in the Bahamas and had departed tually incontrollable. The experi- cal music. Unlike many of her including the single "We Need A question that there will be tribute from Marsh Harbour Airport in ence and history of pilot, Luis fellow female companions in the Resolution" featuring producer albums out eventually, fans Great Abaco for Opa-locka Air- Morales III, is still under investi- R&B industry, Aaliyah chose a Timothy "Timbaland" Mosley. should be sure to pick this one up. port in Florida. The beautiful and gation. more respectable approach to Some of my other favorites Aaliyah's glamorous funeral talented actress and singer was However, the owner of the air- music, avoiding appearing in vid- include "More Than A Woman," procession held in New York on merely twenty-two years old. craft, Skystream, has the listed eos and award ceremonies half- "Read Between The Lines," and Friday, August 31st, included a The crash itself is one of great corporate address of an individual naked or singing of the normal "Those Were The Days." horse-drawn carriage bearing her controversy. Preliminary investi- who plead guilty to one count of sex and money. Her lyrics and With her normal electric- casket and the releasing of 22 gations by the Bahaman Police bankruptcy fraud. One of the music tend to be upbeat and inspi- sounding thumping tempos, she white doves, one for each year of have concluded that the aircraft allegations against him in the case rational, while her music videos combines inspiration with tactful her life. While her life was short, was over 700 pounds above its was hiding and moving valuable are a beautiful display of excel- sensuality and amazing vocal her memory and music will live weight capacity. Weighing 4,117 aircraft parts to trick creditors. lent choreography and fashion. ability to create one of her best on. A proper farewell to an R&B pounds empty, the Cessna 402B's All in all, a great aura of mystery Aaliyah sports several hit tracks, albums to date. While there is no princess. The Rose Thorn Page 6 OPINIONS Friday, September 7, 2001 Stupid people play Lotto The White Gates

million dollars. But four people window of opportunity, mutely horrid lake. A strength borne of Curt Geen won so each person took home $45 Brandi Soggs judgmental. Perhaps she might fear burst inside of her, as bright Opinions Editor million dollars. So the return on the Staff Writer have had the strength, had she but and intense as the morning rays 1 dollar came out to be 60 cents and tried. Perhaps the only way she lapping at the water's shores. gamble? What makes a person this was the third largest ever. Sun had just broken through the could maintain her resistance was Frantically, she backed away from Possibly the adrenaline rush from If you were to take a road trip to shroud of night, heralding a new by not overtaxing her finite the gates. calling Bubba's bluff or for enter- Vegas and play blackjack, for every day. But it was not the lure of the reserves. Perhaps the call was A few hasty steps were all she to Vegas, play tainment reasons, fly dollar bet the house pays out 95 dawn which drew her from slowly seducing the remnants of managed. As she approached the a few hands, then enjoy a skilfully cents back. Unless of course you warmth and comfort to the cool, her self-control, tickling her curtain of madness segregating performed topless revue. Both are count cards where for every dollar unforgiving grounds upon which thoughts with it's subtle, reason- the gates' inner sanctum from the to par- respectable, rational ways bet, your return is $1.05. That's she now trod. A force that was able sounding suggestions. relative safety without, her limbs take in gambling. why they have those big guys never so kind drew her to that Involuntarily, she shuddered, again seized up. The gates began But then there are those individu- named Vega and Rex to throw you dreaded citadel, a siren's call unwilling to contemplate further their song anew, promising fulfill- als that play the Lottery, also out on your ass. echoing from beyond the eerie possibilities or her own true ment of her greatest wants, assur- stupid. known as gambling for the Even with Lotto's atrocious odds white gates looming beyond her. motives. Deep within herself, to ing purification. Her strained and Anyone with half a brain, or any people still play. V 'ell Power Ball's Her instincts howled in outrage, the very core of her being, she tired being was not enough to would realize brain for that matter, easy to play. A trip to your local gas her will sleepily struggled to searched for a distraction from resist their call. Intellectually she on that dollar the horrible return station or mini mart, print out tick- resist the lure, but such a punitive these disturbing thoughts. But all knew anything offered must be ticket. Only 50 cents of every dollar ets and you'll lqe on your way. But effort could never hope to fend off her struggles met no return. Her tainted by the sweat and the tears jackpot. makes its way back to the what if you live in Illinois where the cry of the gates. fragile control wavered momen- of those before, who willingly with the Politicians get to play Power Ball is not played but your Without it's master's permis- tarily in her self-doubt, and in that sacrificed themselves to those sal- other 50 cents. To play the Lottery, neighbors Wisconsin and Indiana sion, her hand stretched forward instant her hungry eyes seized the ivating metal jaws. Yet it was not tal- the contestant needs no skill, no do? Drive, and drive many did. to part the veil between sanity and opportunity to escape the confines her mind that was appealed to this ent, only luck. With anywhere from $50 to $200 in madness. The gates stood bare of their lids, cinched tight against time, but her heart. And deep Any newspaper or news program hand my fellow Chicagoans would before her: alluring, beautiful, the lengthening light. within, after her long and weary in the previous weeks would have drive 2 hours to the border, wait an corrupted. A leaden leg sketched A shallow moat encircled the journey, there was nothing she discussed the Power Ball Jackpot, hour or two, then drive home. For a heavy step towards her doom. white gates, upon which the sun more desired than this promised and its 1:80 million odds, as the tickets ladies and gentlemen! For With redoubled effort, her will- itself refused to shine. Through cleansing, no matter how incom- large jackpot reached the obscenely tickets! power strained to halt her body's the film and slime, her own anx- plete. sum of $300 million dollars. If you So you can basically classify rebellion. The echo of the previ- ious gaze reflected back to her With a shudder of defeat, her were to take your winnings imme- gamblers into three distinct groups. ous betrayal resounded still from its rippling surface, mocking intelligence gave way to the com- diately and not over 20 years, the The intelligent play blackjack, the through the dripping domain; but her. An unnatural light winked mands of her soul, and she strode check would be in the area of $180 old play slots, and the stupid, very even as she stood it slowly died randomly off of the waters, through those terrible white gates. away, and none followed in its obscuring its dubious contents Willingly, even happily, she wake. She had won back some from further study. But one began the ritual of worship and U.S., Israel right to walk measure of control, for now. glimpse was more than sufficient subjugation to the dripping jaws. Unwilling to risk overexten- for her terrified imagination. The silent sun played upon her Staff Editorial delegation was not interested in sion, she made no effort to turn Without further stimulation, it back one last moment ere the The Daily Free Press compromise, but in attacking their back whence she came. The quite capably conjured all manner grinning white gates closed in Boston University longtime foe and in gaining sup- morning light peered through this of monsters and beasts assured to singing finality. She entered the (U-WIRE) BOSTON - port for their views while extend- dwell within the confines of the community shower. On Monday, delegations from ing the Middle Eastern conflict. the United States and Israel left the The United States made the right United Nations' World Conference decision to leave the conference. Against Racism in South Africa Arguing a point against the staunch Question of the Week: after the Palestinian contingent Palestinians would have been released a document that accused equivalent to banging the delega- freshmen take showers? Israel of committing "practices of tion's collective head against a How many racial discrimination against the wall. Signing on to the Palestinian Palestinians." document would have meant sup- 4% The move was the best thing the porting the decision not to talk civ- United States and Israel could have illy. done. Also, the entire conference could Drafting the accusatory docu- not have possibly resulted in the ment was inappropriate of the Pal- eradication of racism, but merely estinian contingent, especially at a some form of non-binding resolu- conference designed to resolve the tion to work toward that end. differences between ethnic groups. Backing out of the summit might The document only served to exac- not have added to the benefits of erbate those differences and the conference, but it did avoid cre- Ei Do not heighten tensions between the Pal- ating a harsh environment. estinians and Israelis. At a meeting Granted, neither the Israelis nor •Do intended to discuss the mecha- the Palestinians are right in their nisms to eliminate racism, finger- campaigns to gain and hold terri- pointing is completely unneces- tory through force and there is sary. obviously a lot of work that needs "...they better take Not only did the Palestinians to be done before the conflict in produce a document with unfairly Israel comes to an end. But, pre- scalding language; they refused to senting an adversarial position and showers, or else." negotiate the opinions set forth in refusing to back down from it dur- it. Refusing to talk about such a ing a time dedicated to peaceful volatile issue shows the Palestinian discussion is surely a bad idea. **Note: Percentages are taken on random sampling of students in resident halls.

Editorial Staff Thorn Staff Editor-in-Chief Lindsey VanSchoiack The Rose Thorn Writers Josh Annin, Tony Bergstrom, News Editor Jennifer Phelps Nat Bowe, Court Caldwell, Opinions Editor Curtis Geen 5500 Wabash Avenue Walt Flood, Joshua Gregory, Entertainment Editor Peter Smith Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Sp9rts Editor Dan Gallagher Nicole Hartkemeyer, Crystal Humor Editor Steve Hoelle Phone: (812) 877-8255 Landreth, Jason Lucas, Jason Events Editor Kyle Robinson Fax: (812) 877-8166 Meyer, Ryan Prince, Laura Photo Editor Kyle Gossman http://www.rose-hulman .ed Li/thorn Slaybaugh, Brandi Soggs, Copy Editor Don Harrington Dustin Van Tassel

"Working to keep the Rose-Hulrnan community Photographers David Evans informed by providing an accurate and Don Harrington Administrative Staff dependable sourcefor news and information." Chris Dupin Advertising Manager Bobby Schulein Cartoonist Advisor David Piker The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays Webmaster David Heigl first through ninth week each quarter

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 300 words in length. E-mail is the preferred method of communication. The editors reserve the right to edit letters for grammar, clarity, and length . All letters must contain the writer's signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact phone number to confirm the letter before publication. ALL LETTERS TO THE EDITOR MUST BE RECEIVED BY NOON ON TUESDAY BEFORE PUBLICATION The views expressed in the Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. The Rose Thorn Friday, September 7, 2001 SPORTS Page 7 NEWS AND Engineers set to cage Tigers Bears The women's volleyball team is hosting the Rose-Hulman Dan Gallagher Week. Tharpe was treated for a Fans: invitational this weekend. For the Sports Editor first time in tournament history, the neck injury and released. play format will, not resemble a After a thrilling, come His services will be avail- Get Your round-robin format. Teams from from behind 23-22 win over able for Saturday's game. Momentum should Millikin, Blackburn, and Illinois Earlham College, the Engi- Jim Shaw college will compete against the neers are prepared for a prove to be a factor in Guest Columnist Engineers starting at 5:30pm showdown with the Univer- tomorrow's game. The Engineers have won 13 of tonight. The title game will take sity of the South on Satur- Hi, my name is Coach Shaw and 22 meetings with the place Saturday at 1 1 am. day at 1:30pm. Rose- I am a Chicago Bears fan. I am Tigers, but not since 1998. The women's soccer team Hulman's win was the first told that admitting my problem is "If we can come out and and head coach Brad Hauter travel in a season opener since the first step to recovery. My execute, we can win. I just to Wittenberg University on Satur- 1987. addiction to the Bears did not start look for our players to come day. The Engineers most recently Junior quarterback Josh in the mid-80's with the Super out and improve throughout downed Franklin college on Tues- Willis replaced an injured Bowl, but goes way back to the the game. They persevered day in a 5-2 win. Jared Tharpe to lead Rose- days of Gale Sayers, George Halas last week and kept at it. We Freshman Amy Sibilia scored Hulman to 16 fourth quarter and Dick Butkus. As a matter of found a way to win," com- her first collegiate goal, and added points, resulting in the fact, I can't stand any reference to mented Offensive Coordi- her first assists to sophomore Jes- win. For his efforts Willis "Da Bears," the Super Bowl Shuf- nator Eric Koehler. sica Farmer and her sister, junior was named SCAC Offen- fle or the "Punky QB." The "Thrill in the Air" Kristin Sibilia. Farmer tallied her sive Player of the Week, When Thorn Sports Editor Dan Photo: RHIT SID Office offense takes flight at second and third assists on the sea- and D3football.com Gallagher asked me to do a peri- Junior Raymond Chin breaks a tackle. 1:30pm. son as sophomore Kiley Wallace National Quarterback of the odic column for the paper and sug- and freshman Michelle Wood- gested I write about the Bears, I ward chipped in goals. thought it would be a good oppor- The Wittenberg women most Picks of the Week Intramurals: tunity to get a few things off my recently defeated Mt. St. Josephs Dan vs. Coach Shaw chest. This is the first year in my by a score of 1-0 last Saturday. On Something for own personal history as a Bears fan Sunday afternoon, the women will Penn State vs. Virginia: Penn Shaw Says: Penn State wins that I am not optimistic, and not travel to Earlham College for a state received its worst tail kick- because a Nittany Lion (What- Everyone looking forward to the start of their 1pm game. ing in recent memory last week, ever a Nittany is anyway) is a lot season. The Bears have in recent The men's soccer team will and Joe Pa isn't happy. Look for tougher than a Cavalier and Joe years been a rudderless ship ruined also travel to Wittenberg on Satur- the Lions to topple the Cavaliers Pa needs to break the Bear's Jeff Jenkins by poor management and worse day, for a 3pm match. The men are in a close game. record and retire. Intramural Director ownership. looking to build momentum after Notre Dame vs. Nebraska: The Shaw Says: Playing at Nebraska The offense of this wayward ves- Welcome back! New to the suffering a 4-0 loss to Anderson Irisih have nothing to bring to the should make it a sel has been in a constant state of little tougher for Thorn this year is a weekly intra- Wednesday night. table in this game. The only the Irish to cheat, so the change, personnel decisions are Huskers mural update. Here you can find Wednesday's game featured thing keeping this from being a should roll... At least I hope so routinely made in haste with no information on results, registration the first Hoffman showdown, sleeper is the wonder whether long term plan and the salary cap is because a sad Irish fan is the best deadlines, and what not. where twin brothers Wade and Regis routinely used as an excuse to will show up. Look for the kind of Irisih fan!! First, to wrap up last year, points Grant Hoffman faced each other Huskers to win by two scores. dump salaries and save "the fam- champions were Triangle for the for the first time. Wade chipped in ISU vs. Eastern Illinois: The Shaw Says: ISU is expected to ily" money. There is no continuity Fraternities and Speed for the Resi- a goal for the Ravens. Sycamores face an uphill battle lose from one year to the next and there because they aren't any dence Halls. Congratulations to Wittenberg most recently suf- here, but the pressure's off good, which increases the pres- seems to be no organizational plan both organizations. fered a 1-0 defeat to Otterbein last because no one expects a win, sure (coaches executed over time. The only good with families to This season promises to be big- Saturday. The men will then travel except me. Look for State thing that has happened long term to feed). ISU can only win a few ger and better. This fall there will to Earlham College for a 3pm kick- squeak out a close win on a late games, and EIU isn't one of to the Bears in recent years is the be flag football, coed volleyball, off. prayer. them. drafting of Brian Urlacher and the tennis, cross-country, and a golf The men's cross-country Bears vs. Ravens (NFL): Look Shaw Says: My basketball play- firing of Michael McCaskey by his scramble. Registration forms are team will host its annual Rose Hul- own father. for the defending Super Bowl ers don't care about my mood at available at the front desk of the man Stomp on Saturday morning at champions to continue their win- this time of year and as a result The hiring of new General Man- SRC. 10am. This intrasquad meet will ning ways in a lop-sided don't care how the Bears ager Jerry Angelo might give the victory do. It is The golf scramble will be at serve as a warm-up for the Prin- over the Bear-Cubs. The game really not fair that the Ravens get Bears some direction, but the harsh Mark's Par Three on Saturday, cipia Invitational on September won't be worth watching, but I'm to play another pre-season game reality of his arrival brings a start- September 22, at 1 pm. The cost is 15th. sure the men's basketball team before they start the NFL portion from-scratch approach. By all $5.00 per golfer with teams of four. The women's cross-country will be praying hard for the of their schedule in week 2. appearances, Bears management is This fee is for 18 holes, carts will team is traveling to the Hanover ravens to fall. willing to get really bad (opposed be charged separately per golfer, if Invitational Saturday morning at DePauw vs. Hanover: Look for Shaw to just bad as they have been Says: Rose-Hulman needed. The field is limited to 18 9:30am. The women most recently the Tigers to take the game. Our offensive coordinator and illustri- recently) to get good. This is evi- teams, so register early. Last sea- finished third at the Wabash neighbors in Greencastle most ous Hanover alum Eric Koehler denced by recent moves such as son's field was almost full and Hokum Karem relays. Freshmen recently won the SCAC Presi- guarantees a Hanover victory. I giving up on QB Cade McNown, everyone had a great time. Emily Dieter and sophomore Eliz- dent's trophy. the release of several starters and Expect a close dislike DePauw more than Co-ed volleyball and flag foot- abeth Embrosky combined for a game with the Tigers running Hanover. I therefore must agree veterans, and the release on ball entries are due by September 10th place finish. away in the second half, literally. with Coach Koehler. Wednesday of free agent signee 12, with play beginning September Saturday morning at 10am, Skip Hicks. Angelo is certainly 17. The cross-country meet will be Rose-Hulman will hold its annual giving the Bears the direction they COLLEGE SPORTS WATCH at Hawthorne Park on October 24, Hall of Fame inductions. Detailed sorely need, but at the expense of no need to register for this event information on each inductee are this year and Head Coach Dick Briar Colwell seasons. and everyone is welcome to run. available on the Rose-Hulman Jauron's job. My bet is that Angelo Staff Writer Get those fingers on the remote Points will be given for individual web page. at 6:45 pm Saturday because #21 will be long gone before everyone Week 3 of the and team champions or the highest For his efforts in leading the college football South Carolina takes on Georgia realizes that he didn't know what season has arrived and three big finish for the Fraternity and Resi- Engineer's comeback win over and #17 Notre Dame is matched up he was doing either!! games should have the interest of dence Hall Champions. Tennis Earlham College, junior quarter- against #4 Nebraska. By all appearances the Chicago fans across the country. will be a round robin tournament back Josh Willis has been selected The SEC showdown could be a Bears are no longer a rudder-less The early game features #10 with registration beginning Sep- as Thorn Athlete of The Week. game that goes down to the last ship. They now have the direction Willis Michigan invading the home turf tember 10. was also named minute and there aren't too many that brand new steering gives them. of #15 Washington. Washington is If you ever have any questions D3football.com National Quarter- schools that have more football tra- Unfortunately, they are now looking to improve on the 11-1 sea- about I.M.'s, please e-mail or call back of the Week and SCAC dition than the Fightin' Irish and pointed directly at the iceberg son from a year ago. The Jeff Jenkins at jeffrey.jen- Offensive Player of the Week. young the Cornhuskers. ahead. Get your lifejacket Bear team now knows that one bad [email protected] or exten- The Thorn sports pages is in Sit back and enjoy the week- fans. The ship will be sinking game in the college football season sion 8209. Good luck to everyone need of writers, photographers, and end. Only after you have taken in soon!! can erase all hopes of a national and have a great Intramural season! the like. Anyone interested should the Rose-Hulman game though. contact title. Dan Gallagher, the sports #10 Michigan vs. #15 Washing- Michigan on the other hand is editor. ton 2:30 pm on ABC just trying to keep its top ten rank- Get Ready for Homecoming by supporting your Guest pickers are needed for #21 South Carolina vs. #24 ing and improve on the Big the football challenge this fall. Ten's Georgia 6:45 pm on ESPN Rose-Hulman sports teams this weekend! Contact the Thorn out of conference record that hasn't for more infor- #17 Notre Dame vs. #4 been too pretty the last couple of mation. Nebraska 7:00 pmon ABC The Rose Thorn

F I) I 11-1•-•--

Volume 37, Issue 1 "I know kung fu,"... "For the last time, no you don't!" Macon, Bacon Friday, September 7, 2001 Top Ten Reasons You Feel Like You Never Left... A Message from the Flipside Staff a) The geese, they left us presents. Cower, mortals!

() At least one body of water remained scummy. ...and welcome back to the abyss that is Rose-Hulman. () Bitching about Novell is now bitching about AFS. It's looking to be another one of those years. Among great tar- o The only thing different at the ARA is Raisin Bran. gets for humor we've got things like: 43 This page still makes you hot. Call me. IC - It's toast. The Freshmen - Hmmm. O Napster may have gone the way of the dodo, but now there's Auctiouaiaxy, Limewire, Gnutella, eDonkey, etc. to congest the network. You know, that's the same tired crap we always use. o Most of the people that were in IC last year... are still technically freshmen. Meh. 4: Those civil "engineers" are standing outside and looking at stuff again. I hope you enjoy the paper this O Everybody still makes a concious effort to stay offthe paths. year, if you don't you can just run O Still no attractive... wait, I take that back. Hmmm. through a harp. -The Evil Baron of Humor

Mike 6( Joel A freshman voices his first impression e-433114 IMAM t Naos Now Part 1! CLOSED E VERYTHINS, Tty not to sporttlesoro than *Into before you begin 4tatratig on Port I so thot volt boy Ryan hair and brown eyes and I will do oho there ore itovt sows i'd just Ike tee* to ose on Port 2 Flipside Humorist anything to please the ladies. 15 point mit the extra t,Pc4 '01 Mil 2 Pts Extra Cr add: Sir your S. 18, 19, 20. wet soul Geer to loe Alright, I admit, I really hate the credit opportunity 1, the undorsigvmddo 93 horoixy give my You want an opinion? Here it is. geese. It's the 93 freshman ladies I tot the frort .souf to She prolootor of C5304 so thot Alright, so I've only been at love. And my opinion is that they noty ouffor holt** ony for all ettortuty Rose about a week now and I should be spending more solleingt time for 15 ph oxtro emit on This exam. barely know my ass from the huge getting to know me. Fortunately, I good WOO lakey thingy that's outside my can make the process a lot less 5igrod (in Wood, pidoso) terte window. So what opinion can I painful. possibly express? I mean, I can I was born on April 22, 1983 2 hints tooth: Define the 44lowing obviously say that the freshman near Chicago, IL. I now reside on trooktiotsoi haiku format class is better than all the others the second floor of BSB in room I )scrttiosti for exactly 93 reasons, but every- 205, and I am a mechanical engi- one already knows that. Then I neering major. My hobbies 'I can always comment on the food include sports like tennis, hockey, in the cafe. Ohhh wow, that's and ultimate frisbee. I enjoy long interesting... walks on the beach, pina coladas comirl IS po'etts So what topic can I possibly tor- and Jimmy Buffet. Now that you rioter to opsteng ture you with? Well, the only know me, let me get to know you. thil exam trot thing I really do know around I hate sounding needy but please, you ore here is myself. Yup, Bo may please, please, come visit me! know football and baseball, but Why should you visit me you Ryan knows Ryan. So, you want may ask? Well, for one reason, if my opinion, here it is. you don't visit me, you will never I like myself. In fact I love get to know me, and that would myself. If it wasn't extremely just be wrong. Also, I have food \ strange and illegal in most states, in my room. Yup, food and lots of I'd probably marry myself. The pop. I didn't bring any of it, but only thing I love more than my roommate gave me full access myself is the group of 93 that are to it. And that means all you my reason for existence. If you ladies have access to it too. I can This Space For Rent have no clue what I am talking also do really cool stuff like help about, there are approximately 93 you with your homework or jump geese running rampant on the around and hurt myself. Hear Ye, Year He! er... crap. Rose campus. I love geese. So, my opinion of myself is that The Flipside is always on the prowl for more writers There's nothing quite like walking I'm desperate. I am just a pathetic (so's the rest of the paper, but we'll let them beg on their on a sidewalk and stepping in big freshman looking for some com- own space), so if you've got any humoristic abilities, feel smelly pile of goose crap. And it panionship. I'm practically crying free to sumbit your shlop to [email protected]. is so much fun when they attack while writing this. If you would you for going too close to their like me to stop, you can always Benifits may include pizza, a free donkey, and hanging goslings. Oh, how I yearn for the come by and console me. If I out with Steve. day that I get another beak to my haven't mentioned it yet, I am in eyes. Room 205 of BSB. I am always But I digress. Not only do I love having a party even if it is only in Have any of your profs said something wacky lately? myself, but there is a strong case my head. Ok, the parties are Well, stay awake for once and jot it down, along with that you should love me too. I always in my head. See you soon! the context, and e-mail it to [email protected] mean, I'm 6 feet tall, I have brown

This Week in the News This Week in History This Week's Dumb Joke Some crazy ex-marine lady tries to shoot - 2000, Terre Haute Tim calls a girl for a date. her son outside of his church. Luckily the Some guy named Tim pisses me off by She says,"But Tim, I've got my menstrual shot hit his leather-bound Holy Bible, saving existing. What a loser that guy is. Would cycle." his life. Screw you Tim! somebody please kill him? Thanks. He says,"So I'll come over on my moped."

The Little Line o' Litigious Lard: The content of The Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of The Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It probably doesn't represent anybody's opinions, 'cause it's all just a joke, get it? All material is copyright of it's respective owner, is void where prohibited, and may cause birth defects. Read responsibly, wallaby.