The CordThe tie that hinds since 1926 Weekly

Dr. Phil and theBattle of the Bulge - Try honesty with Billy a Cord Feature... Page 12 Talent... Page 24

Volume 45 Issue 7 Wednesday October 6, 2004 www.clublaurier.ca A differentkind of support refugee expectedWUSC Nov 1

tional pressure, a democratic Burmese election was held where Aung San Suu Kyi of the National refugee was League for Democracy was elect- ed. However, the SLORC did not supposed to honour the results of this election and remains in power under the arrive in August title, State Peace and Development Council. KAELYN KOEPKE Human rights violations Cord News under this regime have included forced labour and relocation, traf- a refugee student from ficking of women, forced con-, Suoni,Burma, is expected to join scription and frequent arrests. the Laurier community as of The Canadian High Commission November 1, 2004 through the and Jesuit Refugee Services in World University Service of Bangkok, Thailand, are currently Canada (WUSC). working tirelessly to ensure that Sunni was originally planning Surmi arrives in Canada in plenty to arrive in August in enough of time to begin classes at the time to begin the Fall term. beginning of the winter term. However, it has become increas- ingly difficult for refugees to travel within and out of Thailand The hundreds of - where Sunni currently seeks thousands of refuge. Thailand is not a signato- refugees from Burma ry to the United Nations' 1951 Convention Related to the Status are at risk of being of Refugees. Therefore, the hun- deported. dreds of thousands of refugees from neighbouring Burma are at User Tae Kay, a current stu- risk of being deported. dent at Laurier arrived last Violence and human rights Christmas through this program violations have been on the rise in and is currently studying Global Burma since the State Law and Studies. Kay hopes that his edu- Order Restoration Council cation will empower him to Fraser King (SLORC) took power in 1962. In return to the Burmese-Thai bor- 1988, demonstrations against the Members of the unofficial Steve Welker Fan Club showed their support for the WLUSU President der with the resources and skills last at the WLUSU Board meeting toting a texas mickey of rum another SLORC Wednesday night and took place which ended empty bottle of booze along with a hastily drawn sign (above). This comes after VP of University in state sanctioned open fire upon Affairs, Anthony Piscitelli, brought forward information regarding Welker drinking on the annual With interna- possibly violating policy. The incident under investigation. the demonstrators. - Please see WtJSC, page 3 Dean's Trip; WLUSU is

Hawks One more place to beat UW get your BRYAN SHINN Sports Editor Tim's on

- close in proximity, campus Althoughthe Waterloo Warriors and Laurier Golden Hawks are sepa- full story rated by mountains on the foot- ball field. Such disparity was on on Page 3 display last Saturday, as the Hawks cruised to victory over their University Avenue neigh- bours. Playing as visitors in the shared facility, the Hawks looked very much at home eventually beating the Warriors Inside this week's Cord

44 - 3 to remain atop the Ontario standings. And while New Brantford Campus Council page 2 the presence of a Golden Hawk debate page at mid-field and a predominant- The John Kerry 11 ly purple and gold crowd are unusual and favourable ameni- St. Mike's Campus unfit for learning page 14 ties for a Hawks visiting team, 15 Erin Moore the squad marched to victory Horoscopes page because of one reason; dojni- The Battle of Waterloo turned out to be less of a battle and more of nance. Arts Review page 18 as the Golden Hawks defeated the University of Waterloo jouncing, - Please see Dominance, 16 Warriors with a score of 44 - 3. They rank number two in Canada. page Crossword and last week's answers page 20 2 News Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Attempts Brantford goes demo-crazy made to

Brantford student body. ment will allow students to WLUSU assists in implementation "They're students here too, so address their issues to their drop legal they should have personal contact Campus Council, who will have of Laurier Brantford's first with their elected representatives, direct communication with the drinking and this upcoming election will Campus Commissioner. age student-elected Campus Council ensure that for them." Sara Neziol, the current Brantford Campus STEPHANIE VOLLICK looking for- Cord News ADRIAN MA mittee in Brantford will improve "They're students Commissioner, is Staff Writer ward to the formation of the com- efficiency when it comes to deal- they War, driving, here too, so mittee, noting that "[the] students gambling, universi- ing with the concerns of ty, voting: if you're 18 and a legal first-ever Campus should have personal and faculty at the Brantford cam- Brantford students. adult, society expects you to han- Council at Laurier Brantford contact with their pus are excited to see the election The "I think [the students] will be dle it. Drinking, on the other will be elected in late October. take place." able to see a lot more action, a lot elected hand, is illegal for one more year. The Brantford Campus has been The elections will be held on quicker on their campus," says representatives." These are some of the reasons in operation since 1999, and for a Thursday, October 28 at the Jones. why WLUSU is lobbying to half-decade the issues of - Jones, Chair of the Carnegie Building. For those Elections have been a part of Lyndsey lower the drinking age. Brantford students have been del- interested in witnessing the Laurier's Waterloo campus for WLUSU Board of Directors Anthony Piscitelli, Vice egated to student representatives launch of Brantford's new era of many years, even before the President: University Affairs of based in Waterloo. student democracy, contact incorporation of the Students' WLUSU, has been thinking The Chair of WLUSU's Rather than having to deal [email protected] for information Union in 1975. Jones believes about the issue of lowering the Board of Directors, Lyndsey with the Waterloo Students' about transportation to the event. that this kind of self-determina- drinking age for the last year. "It's Jones, is optimistic that a com- Union initially, the new govern- tion will be an asset to the something that affects the stu- dents here, and I feel that it's the responsibility of the student gov- ernment to represent them in this." "There are three main reasons Funding rolls in for Social Work locale the drinking age should be lower," Piscitelli pointed out. The first reason being that, "The Social Work to drinking age should reflect the age of the majority of university relocate to students. The age of first-year students has been reduced to 18 former St. and the drinking age should cor- respond." The second reason is Jerome's High that underage university students are inclined to altend off-campus School in keg parties. This is a dangerous environment for first-year stu- Kitchener, 2006 dents who would be safer in licensed bars or clubs. BLAIR FORSYTH-STARK Staff Writer "The drinking age Plans to move Wilfrid Laurier's should reflect tlie age Faculty of Social Work to an old high school in downtown a! tlie majority of Kitchener are now underway. The university students." historic St. Jerome's high school, once renovated, will serve as the - Anthony Piscitelli, new home to approximately 250 WLUSU VP: University Affairs graduate students and 53 full- and part-time faculty. "There is a positive correla- "We are very excited about tion between an increased drink- our move into Kitchener's down- ing age, and increased under- town," said Luke Fusco, Dean of ground drinking. Underground drinking is one of the largest causes alco- "We are extremely April Cunningham of incidents such as grateful for their hol poisoning and date rape," Despite the modest academic appearance of former St. Jerome's High School, the inside is littered with explained Tiffany Strobel, $11 residents of the KW area more than justified. tremendous and debris and the million cost to the is WLUSU Director. continued support." presence in a new community," munity initiatives that provide for President and Vice-Chancellor, in The third reason according to indicated Fusco. the needs of children and fami- a Laurier news release. Piscitelli is that illegal drug use is - Dr. Robert Rosehart, The renovations of St. lies. The Foundation's donation "We are extremely grateful more likely in a place with an ele- President and Vice Chancellor Jerome's, which are set to begin of $2 million was recognized by for their tremendous and continu- vated drinking age. in January 2005, are expected to naming the Faculty after the ing support," continued Rosehart. "There is a positive correla- cost approximately $11 million. organization. "We're pleased that people tion between increased drinking the Faculty of Social Work, in a Several KW residents and busi- "This extraordinary history of want to support us. The alumni age, and increased use of marijua- Wilfrid Laurier University news nesses have showed their support giving from the Flallman's and are excited about the move," said na, and other illegal drugs," release. for the project by offering mone- the naming of the Faculty repre- Fusco. added Strobel. In addition to the added space tary donations. sent a significant milestone for The renovations are expected Piscitelli admits that WLUSU that will help current programs One significant donation was both the Faculty of Social Work to be completed by June or July is only in the beginning stages expand, the move will also help that of The Lyle Shantz Hallman and the University," said Dr. 2006 and will open to students and it could be five to 10 years to establish "the University's Foundation, which supports com- Robert G. Rosehart, Laurier September 2006. before they see results. Right now the main objective is to raise and other unique visual features. tion that affects the lungs and awareness on campus and in the It is tactile, to assist the visually causes one to experience unex- MURDERER ON THE LOOSE Kitchener-Waterloo area. News Bites impaired, and features the Haida- plained weight loss, fatigues, Police are looking for 48-year- Later in October he is plan- inspired art of Canadian Bill chest pain and the coughing up of old John Steele, who was con- ning on starting a petition signed Reid. blood. It can be fatal. victed of manslaughter in by students. "I believe at this time NEW BILL IN CIRCULATION Kitchener in April of 1999. The! we are hoping to get 1,500 signa- Canadians will be seeing more of TUBERCULOSIS HITS NEW GRANT FUND OPEN offender, who was said to be tures, and we are going to try to the new and improved $20 bill UNIVERSITY OF WINDSOR Applications for the WLUSU "violent and dangerous" in a get other universities on board after its release on September 29. After a student at the University Grant Fund are now available. Toronto Police Service news with us," said Strobel. The bank note boasts several new of Windsor was identified to Funding can be provided for stu- release, has been missing since a Piscitelli hopes a member of security features including a have contracted Tuberculosis, dents who wish to support a Canada Wide Warrant of provincial parliament will read it holographic stripe, a watermark local Health Unit authorities broad range of projects such as Apprehension and Suspension of in the Ontario Legislator. He also image that can be seen on both began an investigation to identify film, theatre, research, foreign Statutory Release was issued intends on drafting a letter to sides only while held up to light, people who may have been exchange or sports. Applications September 7. Steele is white, j Minister of Consumer and exposed to the infection. are due October 14 at 4:00 pm 5\9", 150 lbs, black hair and tat- Business Affairs, Jim Watson. Students who attended the same after which time applications are toos on both arms. Call Crime ; Opposition has not presented classes as the victim have been reviewed on an as-needed basis. Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS with itself yet, but Piscitelli anticipates asked to take part in screening For more info visit any info. that Mothers Against Drunk clinics. Tuberculosis is a chronic www.wlusu.com. Driving will be an adversary. bacterial upper respiratory infec- Compiled by April Cunningham MADD is currently trying to raise the drinking age to 21. Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly News 3

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! NATIONAL

! CBC News reports that ! Canadian authorities are inves- ■ tigating a possible link between New Tim's at King Tapping ; the United Nations and Hamas, ; a group which is considered a | terrorist organization by the ! Canadian Government. The into keggers ! St. Residence tenuous claim lies in that the ! UN Relief and Works Agency LOUISE KADDOUR products, more variety, customer j (UNRWA) employs relief Cord News which compared to going to the service." ; workers that are also members "It is going to have huge divi- The Cord takes bar or any social drinking events J of Hamas. Peter Jensen, Head a morning shot of caffeine dends for our guests and for Food is relatively cheap," said Soler. I of the UNRWA, said that "there without the lineup, students Keggers can produce up to $200 For Services," Sexton says. a second look ! are Hamas members on the can make their way to the new In the past, Laurier's Tim per keg of beer. j UNRWA payroll." Tim Horton's located inside the Horton's outlets were not able to into Keg Parties While the motivations are PROVINCIAL King St. Residence. Baking the bake their own products because compelling, there are inherent j products for all five campus Tim of a lack of facilities. The prod- and the motives risks associated with such a large ; The Government of Ontario is Horton's, this new franchise also ucts were purchased from a fran- gathering of people. Soler of their hosts | features a full service deli, waf- chise in Downtown Kitchener, explains that the police are often planning to cut many programs ! and jobs, reports The Toronto fles and a wide selection of con- with deliveries made only twice a a factor and concern, and if they items. It is now to FRASER KING up ! Star. While the exact programs venience open day. With new ovens and much News Editor show the consequences ! and jobs that are planned to be all Laurier students and faculty more frequent baking, "the selec- depend entirely on "the officer ; cut are unknown at this point, and accepts the OneCard. tion that we're offering will be and the situation." ; Finance Minister Greg Sorbara Rob Sexton, Food Service much better and there will be What can 10 dollars buy someone ; said that the cuts are being Director, explains that this more variety," Sexton boasts. under the age of 19 in Waterloo? "You try to serve the ! made order to balance the $250,000-plus franchise has been This Tim Horton's, complete If it's a Thursday, Frida, or in ! budget. A review is being a long process that three months with a lounge similar to the one in Saturday, it can very likely get beer in moderation ! undertaken which reveal ago only consisted of exterior the Concourse, is divided into you an unlimited supply of alco- so that people don't will I which programs are going to be walls. Sexton, along with Stacy two parts. On one side within the hol for the night. Unfortunately, it get extremely ; "streamlined" and made more Burr, Associate Food Service store are the products Tim can also get an underage party- intoxicated." ; efficient. Critics of the Liberal Director, Dan Dawson, General Horton's is known for - the cof- goer into some trouble. The ; Government were shocked as Manager of Student Services, and fee, the donuts and the Timbits, prominence of keggers at Laurier - Roman Soler, Keg Organiser Martin Illingworth, Tim Horton's while the other side contains may have been augmented by the ! the one of the promises made ! by the Ontario Liberals order Supervisor, are the people shelves and racks of convenience influx of grade 12 graduates in ! to get they responsible for launching the new items, such as toothpaste, bread, exempt from the OAC program. Another concern with organ- into power was that ! were to restore govern- Tim Horton's. milk, chips, hair products and The reasons are clear for peo- ising a kegger is the possibility of going ment not eliminate With the well-known motto of other late night needs. ple to attend a kegger, but the having the kegs run dry before ; programs, ; them. "Always Fresh," Sexton says this For a cup of coffee with the impetus as to why someone the crowd has had its' collective new outlet will surely deliver, jingle that will now would host a kegger are not as fill. Soler noted "you try to serve prove true, j LOCAL "the benefit of being able to bake students will hopefully see that apparent. There are two primary the beer in moderation so that our own product, not only saving "it's always fresh at benefits for organising a kegger. people don't get extremely intox- Tim ; Ex-Ontario-premier and current on food costs, but being able to Horton's." Social gain is a big bonus, "its icated and the beer can [usually] ! Laurier Chancellor Bob Rae offer better products, fresher an awesome way of getting your last until nearly the end." ! has launched a series of town- buddies together and having a Soler also noted there are ! hall-styled meetings in order to party at ways of dealing with a lack of ' your own house and gather people's opinions about meeting new people without hav- beer. "For example when we ran ; post-secondary education. The ing the typical bar perception out of beer and some friends just ; opinions are intended to aid where people think you're trying came, we took out some bottles Rae in the creation of a review to pick them up," explained of wine." I ! of the status of post-secondary Roman Soler, an organiser of "At well organized keggers ! education in Ontario. The local keggers. The second reason people should be getting their ! review is funded by the Ontario for organising a kegger is finan- money's worth," said Soler, it Government. More details can cial. "Money is also a factor," he seems that the organisers also do. j ; be found online at says. "People typically pay $10 to with files from Robert Bennett ! raereview.on.ca. drink as much as they choose,

Erin Moore Students will now have a much better selection and more variety when visiting Tim Horton's - diets be damned! Eat pastries! Burmese improve life

wusc from cover student program through their camps and applications are later necessary to work with other reviewed by a group of cordaction students Burmese to The Cord Weekly refugees better their and faculty from the sponsoring news situations. ISA university. The goal is to create a Kay describes his greatest dif- match between the applicant's ficulty in adjusting to Canadian ambitions and needs with the culture as the lack of community appropriate university. in comparison with his lifestyle Last spring, a referendum was President Craig RadclifTe back home. Also, despite having held during the student elections VP: Rnance Anhur Wong a working knowledge of English, VP: Advertising AngelaFoster with the results of the vote Human Resources Hendra Salim he does admit to experiencing Chair of Board Tunde igii demonstrating an overwhelming the barriers in communication. Kay Vice Chair. Komel Szrejber support for an increase in the Board of Directors Mike D'Aloisio comments that a characteristic Eden Orbach amount of sponsorship Laurier Jordan Jocius that does strike him about Canada students provide. Prior to this The Cord Weekly is the official student newspaper of Wilfrid in comparison with his life in Laurier University. It is an editorially independent newspaper year, Laurier students paid a per- published by Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications, Thailand is his freedom to travel Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. WLUSP is gov- term levy of 50 cents as part of erned by its board of directors. within the country and speak their tuition. The vote allowed for Opinions expressed are those of the author and do not neces- freely without surveillance. sarily reflect those of the Editorial Board, The Cord. WLUSP, this rate to increase to two dollars WLU or Hamilton Web Printing. WUSC is a nation-wide Cord subscription rates are $20.00 per term for addresses with- per student, thus allowing the in Canada. The Cord is printed by Hamilton Web Printing and is organization that to published Wednesday. seeks pro- sponsorship of an additional every mote awareness about interna- refugee student with a longer Witfrid Laurier University Student Publications tional issues and a large compo- 75 University Avenue West, sponsorship period. Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 nent of its work is devoted to the (519) 884-1970 ext. 3564 sponsorship of refugee students. Courtesy Res Life Fax: (519) 883-0873 This a Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3560 Students apply for the refugee poster advertising keg party was posted illegally in various www.wlusp.com residences across campus. Too Dad if you missed this one. e-mail: [email protected] 4 ￿News Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Bag O' Around this time in Laurier History CRIME OCTOBER 7, 1976 OCTOBER 1, 1981 OCTOBER 5. 1989 MEDICAL ASSIST IJW's student paper shut down English exam made mandato- Backlash to parity raids 11:50pm, Monday September 27 MISCHIEF ry for biz kids I:ssam, Sunday October 3 University of Waterloo Annual residence, panty raids Officers assisted a non WLU Federation of Students shut down Previously only required for caused an uproar amongst stu- male who was experiencing Sometime during the night per- the student paper, the Chevron. Business students, the English dents and staff. Male students son(s) discharged abdominal pains outside the unknown fire ; The move was in response to Proficiency Exam was made raided female dorms, stole under ! extinguishers in Hall, Science Building. The individual Conrad allegations of a political organi- mandatory for all first year stu- garments, attached them toi declined calling for an ambu- Little House & Willison Hall. zation infiltrating the paper. The dents. The exam did not score posters and proudly displayed! lance. Anti-Imperialist Alliance, a students with a pass or fail, but them in the Dining Hall MISCHIEF for the known Communist party in rated them against other students morning rush. The following! October 3 - October 4 MISCHIEF Canada at the time, was said to from lowest to highest. Low scor- night, female students raided the I Wednesday September 29 ihave taken over the paper and its ing students were required to take men's dorms and returned Person(s) unknown spray painted the contents. A meeting was held an English course to bring up prank. The tradition was the directory sign well-! A student reported inappropriate outside the where water balloons were English proficiency. established but created major Athletic Complex and a parking graffiti scratched into the wall of ; thrown at AtA speakers, and it backlash as it raised sign issues of a stall in the mens' washroom on lot in lot 17. was decided that a smaller gender inequality, objectification the second floor of the Arts C 'Federation paper Other and ASSIST POLICE The of women, some even went! Wing. PP&P were notified and Voice would run until the fate of so as to garments October 1 - October 2 far call the requested to remove the graffiti. The Chevron was decided. pornographic. On Friday & Saturday nights Questions were also raised as it was students, not UNDER $5000 officers attended with Regional THEFT staff, who removed items from Thursday Septemer 30 Police at three off campus Compiled by Adriana Bell addresses dealing with keg par- the wall. Athletics staff reported the theft ties. ATTEMPT BREAK & ENTER DRUGS of some stereo components from September 17 - September 21 MISCHIEF 0210 HRS SUN SEPT 26/04 the gym at the Northdale Last Week's Crimes: 2:52am Wednesday Sept. 22 Campus. A faculty member reported that WLU officers responded to lot 3 POSSESSION STOLEN sometime between the above A Don in Little House reported PROPERTY after receiving a report that some FIRE DEFT RESPONSF noted dates person(s) unknown that person(s) unknown threw an smoking 12:00pm, Monday September 20 individuals were mari- 9:o6pm, Thursday September 30 attempted to enter her office. The open bottle of bleach through an juana in the area. One individual lock had been tampered with and open window and the contents was a tres- A male WLU student was found issued with written Waterloo Fire Dept responed to there were visible pry marks. spilled onto the floor. pass notice. to be in possession of a parking an alarm at Conrad Hall. There Nothing appears to have been permit that had been reported was no sign of smoke or fire. It taken. POSSESSION STOLEN PROP- BREAK, ENTER & THEFT stolen. The matter will be sent to was determined that the alarm ERTY 3:30-630pm Friday Sept. 24 was activated by popcorn being the Judicial Affairs Council. SUSPICIOUS PERSON 2:ooam Thursday September 23 cooked in a microwave oven. I:34pm, Tuesday September 21 THEFT UNDER $5000 A resident at Conestogo House A WLU student was found carry- September 17 - September 20 reported that her lap top comput- FIRE Officers responded to Bricker ing a patio umberella from er was missing from her resi- 11:00pm, Friday October 1 Residence after receiving a Quizno's across lot 3. The matter Person(s) unknown stole the dence. It is suspected that the report that a suspicious looking will be forwarded to the Judicial University sign at the Northdale responsible person may have Officers extinguished a smolder- male was going door to Council. Campus. door Affairs gained entry through an unlocked ing fire around a rock on the soliciting money for some sort of door. front lawn at 209 Regina. It is Halloween event. A floor by unknown what caused the fire. floor search of the building proved negative.

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ii— nu k- :-* M0n.,.t.,.i «t » a iu~ Minn t- ...:« , "]■ j 3 "[U| 6 Editorial The Cord Weekly - Wednesday October 6, 2004 The CordThe tic that binds sincc 1926 Weekly Editorial Board

Editor-in-Chief Opinion Editor Features Editor Caitlin Howlett Bryn Boyce Michelle Pinchev Production Manager International Editor Student Life Editor Brandon Currie Kris Cote Jennifer Asselin News Editors Entertainment Editor Arts Editor April Cunningham Carly Beath Stefan J. Sereda Fraser King Sports Editor Special Projects Editor Bryan Shinn Colin Duffett Staff Contributors

- Ananthan Sundaresan Production Assistants Joanne Spanninga Stephanie Vollick Dave Ricci Miranda MacDonald Andrew Bolter Louise Kaddour Rob Crocco Sarah Schroer Laurier Sadowski Brian D'Souza Rowena Garcia Janet Linseman Dan Roth Marcos Moldes Narges Bayani Jessica Peter Sra Graves Kyle Boulden Sydney Helland John Meddick Chris Clemens Richard Togman Rames Paramsothy Dr. Peter Tiddus Fraser McDonald Rory Nisan Copy Editing Manager. Amy Rogers Blair Forsyth-Stark Brad Skelton Brendan Jones Adrian Ma Dana Krook Copy Editors Kevin Field Adriana Bell David Alexander Brenda Heatly Robert Bennett Mike Brown HeatherOlauson Kim Brown Week-Old Quote Of The Week Nigga!" StefanieBuszynski "Yeah

- Jillian Pancott April Cunningham to Brandon Currie (both Caucasian) Photo Mangers Erika lvanic Erin Moore Ad Production Manager. Jacquelyn Cain October IT Manager. Greg Smith Next Issue: 14th State of the Arts Bldgs. satellite campus. A A new Faculty of Social Work building in Kitchener. A Northdale campus? And oh yes, the nearby Catholic school turned university aca- demic building... The University-is see- pretty ing some fast- student is paying more than their paced sprawl' 'academic and the equivalently studious Arts stu- question is quickly becoming... dent, so why the double standard does new buildings purchasing on teaching environment? them to suit without renovating Laptop plugins, swivel seats university needs really make and solid classroom design or a sense? hard seat on a six-year-olds The University administration freethrow line in an echoing Supersizing freedom's fries feels that the answer is yes. Or, to gym? fairer, an be they feel elementary Whiny though it may sound, Brandon Currie a place for school is suitable Arts there is no excuse for students faculty offices and classrooms. who pay ever-increasing tuition University President, Dr. fees, to be assigned substandard Robert Rosehart, has pointed out classroom space. Production Manager that St. Michael's Campus (STM) Many profs have pointed out demographics. There was an localize that which is global), was a short-term solution turned that students are increasingly I'm a Global Studies student, and longterm. First meant to ease the equal balance of women and men producing an edible product that choosing to follow vocationally- I like McDonald's. That's right, I load when the Schlegel (rare for a public place in tastes like Western culture, but Centre minded, and typically better said it. and were under construc- Morocco), and the ladies looked smothered in a special sauce of library funded, programs like Business Yes, I'm talking about the tion, 'Campus' to be right out of the pages of contextual sensitivity. I'll this has become a while less credentially-minded local culture extinguishing, Even mainstay. Vogue. What was veiled and eat broccoli if there's enough students see the ground slip from monolithically globalizing, It's tough to understand how shrouded in the old city was cheese on it. beneath their feet. french fry frying Golden Arches. the University can its Arts brazenly displayed in tight jeans It may just be all salad, I put The rickety construction and I'm supposed to know better, classes such dilapidated gym- and Dolce and Gabana. mean, window dressing, but it's in infantile appearance of STM is right? As a globally-informed nasiums and glorified hallways at Then there was the menu. 100 effective. More than half of quite a telling image of the state individual, I should know that STM the Business faculty Dirham ($l4 CAD) for a Big McDonald's profits come from while of Ontario's post-secondary edu- McD's paid unscrupulous Mac Meal? What the hell is a overseas and I'm betting it's not enjoys the flashy, well built cation environment. Rabid Brazilian beef farmers to slash Schlegel Centre with only McHalal? Where's the "add because humans have a primor- the expansion but zero followthrough and burn tracts of rainforest to rare bacon for 50 cents" option? dial love of the Big Mac. There first year lab exception. for quality services and environ- make room for cow pastures, now, This certainly wasn't the cul- are mutton-based As it stands no Business ments. deceived customers with sketchy Maharaja Macs portion-size and nutritional info turally cumbersome cookie-cutter in India, McSausages in and even advertised in The Cord McDonald's that was advertised Germany, McCarnivals in Rio de Our modest proposal Weekly. in the anti-globalization Janeiro and McSpaghetti in Italy, As a self-proclaimed moder- brochure. It catered to local tastes all of which assimilate the corpo- We see them chattering in the and chipmunk populations. Keep ate leftist who prizes cultural and employed Islamic architec- ration's Western personae into a trees. We see them rifling through the ivy growing wild so long as diversity, why am I extolling the ture. It reflected prevailing atti- local framework. the garbage. We see them flying you deal with these irrational, virtues of the poster child of tudes of Western culture. Look a Contrast this with January headlong into windows and worst pizza carton-toting-hellions. indiscriminant globalization? little deeper, you'll learn some- 1990 when 30,000 Muscovites of all, we see them confront and It is for these reasons that The It dawned on me while in thing about religious beliefs, gen- lined up outside of Russia's first terrorize students on their daily Cord Weekly Editorial Board Morocco, dining at a McDonald's der relations and socio-economic McDonald's to get their first taste campus traverses. feels it is time to put forward 'a in the religious and cultural cen- status. of freedom's fries, and you can Some students have even modest proposal.' tre of the nation, Fes. With the For instance, it was obvious see that while the McDonald's reportedly seen them grotesquely If these disdainful creatures oldest Islamic schools in the that the folks in this McDonald's medium has stayed the same, the devouring (possibly having first insist on unruly behaviour and nation and the world's largest had money. Why was just the message has become far more killed) our campus birds and refuse to meaningfully contribute medieval city, it's a metropolis upper class eating at refined. engaging in hostile confronta- to the campus community in their undeniably steeped in tradition. McDonald's? Was being The same thing has to happen tions with students on their own lives, then we can ensure they Expecting the usual ambiance 'Western' in Morocco only a mat- in international relations. Like front porches. benefit us in their deaths. of boiling animal fat and cheap ter of affordability? Would all McDonald's, we have to contex- In fact the recent jump in With the near absence of fast- plastic furniture, I was greeted Moroccan women choose plung- tualize our products when we squirrel, chipmunk and "squirrel- food vendors on campus, we have with a musky smell of roasted ing necklines and McChickens if send them abroad. We have to munk" (the most fearsome cross- been told that such rodents are in cedar, soft accented lighting and given the financial ability? assimilate our good ideas into breed) populations have begun to fact an easily prepared and nutri- impeccably clean bathrooms with Well, probably not, but it got their local framework. worry students. It has come to the tious delicacy. Whether fried or toilet paper (an alarmingly rare me thinking and researching. I We can't expect Asia and the point where many students are fricasseed, the squirrelmunk is a commodity in Moroccan rest- found out that I wasn't alone in Middle East to embrace our ver- questioning the right of these treat in many cultures of the rooms). refuting McDonald's "hamburger sion of liberal democracy, just creatures to exist on our campus. world. I looked up to see an intricate- hegemony." American anthropol- like we wouldn't expect Indians They certainly contribute nothing WLUSU should replace the ly carved wooden ceiling, compa- ogist James Watson goes one step to eat beef-based Big Macs. to the University in terms of stu- painstakingly slow Union Market rable to what I had seen in further, calling McDonald's a Forcing the issue will never work dent fees or tuition and if any- with the 'quick-on-the-go' Mosques in the ancient part of the "socially liberating cultural if there's no local legitimacy, but thing, they pose a grave security Squirrel Wok. city earlier in the day. Outside force," citing Taiwanese if we can repackage and market it risk to the Laurier community. It's time to free Laurier from were three-tiered terraces over- McDonald's restaurants that, like in a way they can relate to, it just Whenever anyone talks about the shackles of terror and uncer- looking a river gorge, an enor- in Morocco, are a rare public may sell like hot cakes. the need to beautify campus and tainty and exploit this valuable mous open-air Playland and bus space not dominated by men. That's why I'm a Global make it more "natural," it's campus resource. boys scurrying around to remove It comes down to McDonald's Studies student, and that's why I unlikely that they specifically see Are you with us or against us? your tray. ability to 'glocalize' (a trendy like McDonald's. Actually, that's any value in the bolstered squirrel More surprising still were the Global Studies term that means to why I'm lovin' it. The Cord Weekly -Wednesday October 6, 2004 Opinion 7 Better moderators for The commodity queer the Presidential debate

Marcos Moldes David Alexander that "we didn't hear anything lose their sexual identities about the Israel/Palestine con- Queers flict; we didn't hear anything when they're seen in token terms about global arms control in the My So Called QueerLife broader sense; we didn't hear Blueprint EiC anything about the global trade

sarcasm before I had could have Joan Rivers as — leaped out a friend" In order for last week's U.S. treaties—WTO and NAFTA many things you to my tongue. a spokesperson of the chance bite and include Presidential debate to be more nor did we hear anything about Onegain by working a late night "Sorry honey, I'm queer, so I options for a matching cell phone informative, the following people the need to do something about is a case. food service job special wouldn't really know." and make-up could and should have been the military budget of the into how the mainstream To this experi- insight my surprise, Kimmy Strangely enough called upon as moderators: Pentagon, which is so wasteful." audience perceives gay identity. perked up in a way that reminded ence has got me thinking of my Noam Chomsky would have Naomi Klein could have of mainstream sex- me of a to those seminar analysis that writing Being outside cat's reaction I'm been able to interject illuminating asked questions about "the brutal sometimes forget that 'Pounce' treats. for class about the 'Commodity uality, I commentary whenever the nomi- economic model advanced by the there are basic differences in "Axe really gay?" she and the use of iden- very you Queer' queer nees attempted to mislead the World Trade Organization." In an and views that stem asked with giddy bewilderment. tity to sell products. Our identity perspectives public. On the War on Terrorism, article written last year, Klein our fundamental difference; "Yes, really am," I replied is given legitimacy so long as we from I he could have pointed out that "in suggested that this economic we're boys who like boys. while inwardly cursing my are saying something catty, being much of the world, the U.S. is model "is itself a form of war. While late to in and of not working a busy inability censor myself pub- campy course actually regarded as a leading terrorist War because privatization and night at work I met lic. having or kissing shift a seem- sex another state, and with' good reason," deregulation kill-by pushing up ingly harmless girl, for argu- "Oh my god! I've been look- man: that would be scandalous! (from Chomsky's book, 9-11). prices on necessities like water going to her ing for one of you! I really want ment's sake I'm call Chomsky might attempt to and medicines and pushing down "Kimmy." Kirn my was like many one of you!" she exclaimed. "Yeah, you know, like enlighten the nominees as to why prices on raw commodities like girls; pretty, me? You really want Laurier blonde and "Excuse the U.S. are hated by so many coffee, making small farms head to toe one of us?" asked, hoping had a best gay friend! i dressed in contempo- I I people in the Middle East. unsustainable. War because those casual clothes that were misheard her. think it would be so rary According to Chomsky's who resist [...] are routinely probably purchased at our local "Yeah, know, like a best you cool" blog, the reasons for this hatred arrested, beaten and even killed. Gap retailer. It is hard to distin- gay friend! I think it would be so War because when this kind of - have been clear since the 19505: guish a particular Kimmy from cool!" Kimmy said with hopeful "Kimmy", drunk blonde "the perception is that the U.S. low-intensity repression fails to all the others we have on longing that would rip off campus: I my supports harsh and oppressive clear the path to corporate libera- they all look, dress and sound the clothes and reveal We be long work my "best can gay so as we regimes and blocks democracy tion, the real wars begin." same. gay friend" T-shirt underneath. don't demand equal rights or the and development, and does so to Klein would draw attention to was loud, brunches, The shop full of Visions of shopping same protection under the law as gain control of the energy the WTO's agreement on drug drunken university students who trips and her inaugural trip to the others. We can be we are gay if resources of the region." This patents, a deal that was meant to were waiting to get some gay bar across eyes. men $90,000 a food danced her white who make hatred still exists because of "the give poor countries the right to they their respective Kimmy a year before took left without drunken and live in fabulous homes decisive U.S. support for vicious import generic drugs, which tricks home for a night of erectile boy on her arm, but her that like Barn cata- words look a Pottery Israeli repression of Palestinians Klein and others have criticized dysfunction and faked stuck with me like one of those logue room. We aren't the orgasms. makers and robbery of their resources, as "unworkable." As moderator, "Aren't girls just so compli- stupid Phil's that don't of our own stamps identity anymore, just and the murderous U.S.-U.K. Klein would have explained the cated?" Kimmy remarked whilst wash off for days. I came to real- the people that soapbox corpora- sanctions that were devastating need for cheaper generic drugs: rolling her eyes at her friend who ize how much they bothered me, use to sell their tions lifestyle the civilian society of Iraq." "of the roughly 30 million was the of being one fell she had man- in process in swoop pitches. As moderator, Ralph Nader Africans with HIV, 4.1 million picked by equally inebriat- aged to strip of legit- Kimmy taught something up an me my me would have ensured that other need antiretroviral drugs, yet only ed male. imized identity as a gay man and important; got a long way - we've pertinent topics related to "for- 50,000 75,000 have access to Being a turn some sort of "must- to go. little tired and it into eign policy and homeland securi- them." Klein would have made stressed, my inner voice of catty have accessory." The "best gay ty" were discussed. In his reac- sure that Kerry and Bush had a tion to the debate, Nader noted chance to debate this vital issue.

Letters to the Editor [email protected] Shame on you, Anthony of coke just so I could have something but genuine ideas." The opinion she cies. social infrastructure projects that Piscitelli, Welker is to quench my thirst as I \fcait in line at advanced was a novel one, but most Assuming that you used a com- needed the attention, as opposed to normal one of the many fine watering holes in of all, I admire that she remained mon, if unknown, dollar currency, the redirecting the money into Swiss and Waterloo. You know what else consti- objective and recognized that not debt relief of the UK and France does Western-based personal bank tutes as breaking the law? Consuming everyone is opposed to current hot- not add up. You claim that together accounts. I was always that taught Presidents alcohol at keg parties. As sheltered as button issues like Iraq. By acknowl- the UK and France forgave $266 mil- This political conditionality held and their assistants were to supposed you and Anthony must be, surely you edging that multiple viewpoints exist lion yet you state that France forgave rulers accountable for their spending be a team. Apparently this is not so at have attended one of these unli- in the student body, The Cord does a $139 million and the UK forgave before the international community Wilfrid Laurier University. Anthony censed events? May I suggest you service for student journalism every- $123 million which only sums to and before their respective domestic Piscitelli be should ashamed of him- turn yourselves over to the authorities where. $262 million. populations. Writing off the debt will self. In the September 29, 2004 issue immediately. Thanks for showing that student Unfortunately these errors are all significantly reduce this accountabili- of ("Weiker The Cord Weekly in I am unsure of your motives Mr. newspapers don't have to be shrill too common in journalism. The actu- ty and put these countries 10, even 20, question on own policy"), our Vice Piscitelli (perhaps a certain election mouthpieces for a particular political al currency used in the transaction years back economically. President: University Affairs stooped that takes place at the end of this aca- persuasion. Assuming I can find a should be stated first with the amount Reducing the debt does not help so low as to scrutinize the actions demic year?) but I abhor the fact that copy somewhere, I look forward to in Canadian brackets. the countries by any means. These taken by and dollars in WLUSU CEO you brought this matter to the public's your next issue. nations still struggle with their educa- President, Steven Weiker, during the attention without going out of your tion and still need the neces- annual Dean's Trip. Ryan Jakubowskl systems way and having a private chat with" Andrew Barton sary drugs to treat diseases like AIDS, So Steve had a couple drinks Steve Weiker instead to let him know still need roads to carry food and sup- while climbing up a mountain Editor-in-Chief Debt relief is only the first during how you felt about his actions during Absynthe (Trent University) plies, still need the necessary institu- a retreat, what is the big I per- deal? the Dean's Trip. I admire our step carry out a realistic push to sonally take pleasure knowing that tions to in President for doing what he did: he and a better life for the our leader is an ordinary student and Re: Europeans feel gener- democracy drank responsibly and had a good I would like to start by congratulating lower classes. more importantly a normal human ous Kris Cote well-written time. on a article, Writing off the debt is not the being who likes to kick back and generous." It have entitled "Europeans feel solution but only part of the answer. a good time once in a He Europeans may feel generous, but I every while. Benjamin Puzanov is a great thing to have the large debts After the forgiveness of the debt or did not get drunk (as you, Mr. feel confused. How much debt relief of some of those African countries part of it, the world powers need to Piscitelli, so boldly informed us) and didFrance and the UK (Britain is just forgiven but that may just represent a allocate funds to the important areas thus did not or those "A service to journalism a somewhat ambiguous name for a endanger himself double-edged sword that would fuel revenue genera- around him. Even if something geographical location, not a nation- that will strong had everywhere" deepen poverty and corruption in the tion and ensure stability and prosperi- gone wrong, Mike McMahon, state) actually give? Was it 216 mil- chosen countries. General Manager of WLUSU, told Dear Editor, lion Pound Sterling, or was it 266 mil- ty- When, in the 1980s, the IMF and Forgiving a poor man's debt does The Cord that the event was 'regis- lion dollars? Are these U.S., Canadian other major financial contributors to not help him, he is still poor and will tered' and covered by a 'very compre- When the September 22 edition of or perhaps Euro dollars? Either way Africa decided to tack political condi- need the necessary tools to keep him- hensive liability insurance policy.' The Cord Weekly ended up on my 216 million Pound Sterling does not tions on loans nations granted to in self out of debt. Forgiving the debt of Sure what Steve did may not have desk, my first was to rifle equal $266 million, it is 391 million thought economic difficulty, many human the poorest countries is a good start been approved by killjoys such as through it for design ideas. I $USD, 494 million $CAD or 315 mil- When rights watchdogs expressed concern, but only the first step in ensuring a yourself, but nonetheless not read it. my weren't the lion Euros. it did thoughts about calling the conditions a new wave of debt-free future for the millions of violate any WLUSU rules or the the Further, you state separately that regula- layout, but about quality of colonization. affected the of tions. material inside. France forgave 139 million of unspec- people by plagues But in the years following these poverty and HIV/AIDS. April Cunningham, you must be Every part of your newspaper fit ified dollars. I am most certain that new conditions over 75 percent of jesting when you mentioned fact I was France would have forgiven a certain the together smoothly, but most African countries witnessed some Ruben Gu-Konu that it was wrong for Steve to break impressed by the quality of the writ- amount of Euros as France does not kind of democratic breakthrough, an Ontario provincial law by consum- ing. My total unfamiliarity with any- make dollar denominated loans. decades of rule in ing ending single-party Response alcohol in a public place! I am thing having to do with WLU didn't Did the UK forgive 100 million some and seeing vibrant democratic A from Laurier unable to speak for anyone else but I stop me from enjoying the articles. Pound Sterling in debts or some other action in others. Shinerama cannot recount the number of times The variety of opinions and news rel- amount that equals 123 million mys- The pressure put on by the credi- that I took that one (or two) last beers evant to the student community was tery dollars? Again are these dollars tors pushed the elite and the ruling Never have I been more proud to be a out of the case with me on the road to almost staggering. US, Canadian or Euro? 100 million classes in many of the countries to part of the Laurier community. The the bar or filled up an empty Harvey's I was pleasantly surprised by Pound Sterling does not convert to essentially concentrate the funds into outcry for Shinerama to support char- soft drink cup with rum and a splash Carly Beath's opinion article, "Messy 123 million of any of these curren- the hospitals, airports and other major - Please see Letters, page 9 8 ￿Opinion The Cord Weekly ■ Wednesday October 6, 2004

Concerning The Post-September Syndrome- Until you ruin your Let's be honest Laurier... first hip, the world Fraser McDonald Familiarity breeds boredom, so is your oyster it's good to get out and do new Columnist and creative things with our lives Chris Clemens drinking in parks and running from the pig patrol, followed by merable times in a single day. In bad, but evidently there is a trade The first two to three of additional years of legality, the weeks conjunction, I'd like to talk about off. school are over. Here we are. scene looks a little tired. The vet- a reality we all have to face: There are many other inven- Time to get focused! If you're Last Year's Entertainment erans have picked up responsibil- inevitably, we make decisions to tive things to do including think- third year words are ity, good judgment, 'normal' and up, these stave off severe droughts of ing of practical ways to improve probably already - sleep cycles and all those other redundant the excitement; rather than finding your community or defend the excitement of returning from is a curious time shiny things that Jesus would out what will make us happy, we environment, working out, medi- September summer armed with stories and for a university town. love us for. But is it a good thing accept mediocre entertainment. tation and attempting to express fresh ideas dwindles fast once Everything's sleepy and then, one to fall back on age and experience Sorry if you don't agree and yourself. These can all be equally you become swamped with work. day, a U-Haul truck appears out as an excuse? believe that I am incorrectly enjoyable after, as well as during. Of course these are not in any of nowhere, like a rusty orange Raging alcoholic students assuming you're the same as me. It doesn't matter exactly how way lucid insights, nor particular- beacon signaling a change of tide. aren't the focus here, they're just I'm sorry you're full of shit. we spend our time, but it is a ly helpful, but it's a fact: we have For four years, I've watched that a remarkably appropriate frame- good use of time to stop for a completed the "honeymoon peri- single U-Haul turn into a stream greater I moment every once in a while to work for the issue. can't od." Does watching TV and then a river and then a great count the number of times that determine whether our activities I borrowed that term from make you better flood of metallic beasts, loaded to I've heard a monotonic "We're feel are actually beneficial to us. working at summer camps for the teeth with overbearing par- too old for that" from 20-.some- about yourself? Does And I should probably clarify kids with behavioural problems. ents and co-eds eager to get back things: too old to ride the shop- it relieve stress? why I'm making a point of this: Honeymoon period is another to work. ping cart, hit the mosh pit, tip the we are inundated with entertain- way off saying the calm before Didn't think 50... As soon as the U-Haul rivulet cow or crash the orgy. When did ment options which appeal to the the storm; it describes a celebra- has subsided back onto the high- it become okay to wave away masses. They do not enhance tory feeling. After a day of camp, way, it's obvious that work means good times with the age card? Take a quick glance at the understanding, they merely pan- we'd debrief together and the drinking, and drinking is work. There's nothing wrong with past week. How did you entertain der to a wide audience. Hence, if lucky counsellors spent the first You can almost hear the universal turning away from on yourself? Or maybe I should say, you're not choosing to think activities week reveling: dialogue: "We're back, we've got their own merits. Mosh pits, for did you entertain yourself? Think about what you are doing, you are "So and so punched him, they summer cash and we're here to example, are mostly off-limits to about it: more often than not, we in essence surrendering your will fought, but no real problems. And get fucked up before class actual- me now because I tend to elbow rely on media rather than our- to other people's creative vision. oh yeah, she spit in my face and - ly means something." The bars small children in their eye selves TV, radio, or even fur- But who cares and why? Over sock- demonstrated her extensive are rammed and lineups are ets... accidentally. Similarly, ther, other external forms of the next few weeks the answer knowledge of the curse word the- worse than 202 Regina (for a few some students might avoid drink- entertainment such as alcohol, will become clear. If you pay saurus but we're still honey- weeks, at least). It's a celebration, ing because they always wake up weed, etc. But wait, I am not con- attention, you'll notice that every mooning - they haven't gotten and everyone puts personal safety naked in the park. But to down- demning anyone here. I merely second or third person you talk to

crazy yet." Damn, I saw interest- - and discretion aside for a month shift your life into neutral with no think it's something to admit to will complain about something or ing stuff those summers. And while they tear through their sav- better reason than "feeling old" is with regard to knowing how to another just to vent their stress. once again school now feels like ings. Fantastic. ridiculous and a disservice to entertain ourselves, we have a lot True, venting is legitimate but the same old. yourself. to learn. what are we going to do about it? Being comfortable with your It's a creeping evil, a slow and Hmm, maybe another angle is My thought on the subject is that It's a creeping evil, a surroundings is important at steady shift but needed. Does watching TV make by being a little more creative slow steady shift toward the chains what point does familiarity shackling you to a life of caution you feel better about yourselves? with how we entertain ourselves, become too much? We all have toward the chains of and inevitable regret. It's a habit- How good do you feel after a we can alleviate the stress related our own definition of - a life of caution. ual shirking of new experience, boredom night of drinking? This doesn't problems before they pour into me I get bored twice, thrice, fice an excuse that rolls off the tongue mean these activities are entirely and take over our everyday lives. (I know that isn't a word) - enu- with the slickness of butter to This year, though, I noticed a keep you from harm: "I'm too old lot of my people slowing down for that." But you die a little long before they hit their credit inside each time. Campus Pictorial limit. Something was different And so, when I was slumped this time around, something seen in a chair complaining about this in lidded eyes and the bottom of fourth-year slowdown one night, half-finished pints. it was a great relief when a friend We're getting old. This was piped up, "You're only as old as our mantra; our excuse for leav- you feel," she said. And she was ing long before last call. It right. With my level of maturity, I became a natural defence as we felt about fifteen. I smiled, revi- sat around afternoon breakfasts at talized. the Duke, disheveled and weary We closed September with a and to unable throw off the hang- bang, just like we used to; slur- overs quite as easily as we used ring goodnight to the sunrise to. It was a cop-out for movie while shattered fragments of nights stay-ins nothing- and and glass formed a puddle of light on ness. the street below. It was just as I suppose it's understandable beautiful as I remember. to a certain degree. After years of Don't free Homolka back into society. Dana Krook The last one's a shocker, I know. But don't try and press pause on your DVD player because this psycho is not Guest Columnist Hitchcock material. She's real. And she could be coming to your hometown. December 24, 1990: The murder Most of us will remember, to of Tammy Lyn Homolka is ruled some degree, the horrifying mur- accidental, the killers go free. Or ders by the "Barbie how about this frightening tale? and Ken" serial killer team of Karla June 29, 1991: Leslie Mahaffy's Homolka and Paul Bernardo, as it body is discovered cut apart by a occurred far too close, it seemed, chainsaw and encased in cement to most Southern Ontario towns blocks. Even more bone-chilling? and cities. Sharing a passion for April 16, 1992: Fifteen-year-old sadistic sexual fantasies, the Kristen French is abducted from a pair's criminal history began Bryn Boyce church parking lot, never to be with Homolka's own sister, | Learning From The Three Point Line: Asthmatic children need no longer worry about Christ's seen alive again. Freaky, eh? Tammy Lyn. | PhysEd class at St. Michael's Elementary School, the school is now dedicated to free thoughts and another. Here's July 6, 2005: ! throws... Not to be too evocative but notice how the sun magestically gleams off the Schlegel's desks? Karla Homolka will be released - Please see Homolka, page 9 The Cord Weekly ■ Wednesday October 6, 2004 Opinion* 9 sense revolution A horror film to-be Common in pursue a degree Criminology Homolka, from page 9 stone or make outrageous claims student The (she's already finished one year, Caitlin Howlett newspaper, As a Christmas present, like "you [Editor's I Ontarion, similar commenting that it "builds her suck." note: has shared a Homolka "gave" her younger sis- took the pg rated version of some fate on their campus. Located self esteem,"... oh good, a confi- ter, drugged and comatose, to her of things to dent serial killer). the we're called]. adjacent their on-campus pub, boyfriend, but during the video- Someone who is having had their waifs broken Does this scare anybody else? Editor-in-Chief trouble they've taped rape, Tammy vomited, placing left in front of has most It should. At her parole hearing right and recently, their signage choked and died. Police ruling? 2 am, do you know where the audacity to after only eight years in prison, say that I suck, stolen, the only evidence of their Accidental. It'syour common sense is? well that's, that's just - bold. location on campus. 1 suppose the National Parole Board ruled My guess is that it is probably Their next crimes involved that she was unfit to rejoin socie- Here is a loss of common sense at that's a feeble attempt to silence the abduction, sexual assault and drowning in the last sip of Stella best. - especially if can't ty because they feared she might its very the press you murder of two high school girls: you forgot to slug back at the pub We bum the midnight oil, like find them. The Ontarion's commit similar offences. Do you first Mahaffy and less than a year in your haste to leave en route for many students on this campus, Editor-in-Chief, called students think that maybe four years will some much desired pizza. later French. There are also two have made a kinder, gentler just trying to get the job done. stupid. I would have to agree. other victims that survived, So when you stumble down rape Homolka? Hmmm... doubtful. Our peers, then reprimand us for It still boggles my mind that have the stairs of the Fred Nichols but their names been with- If Homolka is indeed the this by yelling obscenities our we pay thousands upon thou- held from the public. Campus Centre, and push your making at to "manipulated victim" she claims, way unusual demands sands of dollars, only see much In January of 1993, - Bernardo way out the door common sense all of not to our education, what's going to stop her from hours the morning and of it put but took out his on - violence free there is very little stopping finding another Paul Bernardo requesting to be quoted verbatim, the repairs of our physical cam- Homolka, sending her to the hos- you from doing the following: curse words and all. And if all pus. and repeating the tragedies all pital. was charged and- - Bernardo Breaking the glass window fails, they and over again? If she's the sadistic else go break shit. If you don't know how much him for good. - she left in the door is there an unofficial Common sense failed the it costs to the in a killer I believe her to be, again, replace glass When their crimes began to quota that has to be filled every man when he urinated door, let me tell it ain't what's going to stop her? young in you surface, Homolka immediately week that I am unaware of? front of the widow while I cheap. Damaged signage, broken It all seems like some bad hor- put on a of and - show "victim" Taking an entire rack of worked diligently on the or stolen items on and the ror film to me, where the villain comput- campus won herself a plea bargain in Cord Weekly's and distributing er. laughed and then quickly verbal assaults are a just keeps coming back to haunt I sadly, reality exchange for her testimony them on the stairs and the Quad drew the blinds when shouts "get on this and others. the survivors and wreak more campus against Bernardo. It was only (we need a circulation manager, to Sometimes, havoc on unsuspecting victims. It closer the window" pervaded I am ashamed. after the agreement was made but not that kind) - better yet, took six sequels for Halloween s my ears. Having a slight bit of Ashamed to say that I share the that the videotapes appeared, burn a pile of them (oh it's been compassion for the young man same classrooms with these indi- Michael Myers to be silenced, depicting a very different done my friends, sadly it has been who had clearly had one too common sense. and ten for Jason ofFriday The viduals who lack Homolka: a more-than-willing done) many, I let it slide, yet I still felt We've all had our moments, but I 13th to finally bite the dust and

- participant. Protected by her plea Knocking over garbage cans as though this young man had like to think that there are those chances are movie-makers will bargain, Bernardo got a life sen- along the way, spreading refuse failed me - in so many ways. of us who are a tad more user- resurrect them again for yet tence and Homolka was labeled in the path of those to walk that But the reign of terror this friendly to another butchered film, hopefully when it comes WLU. with "battered spousal syn- very morning sees on a Common an STV (straight to video). So campus given night, bar sense didn't get you given a mere - drome" and 12 And last but not least, you night or not, shows a lack of com- how many sequels of Karla into university, but I think it years. heckle the bearers of news mon sense by those guilty of should be a stipulation that you Homolka will we have to endure if Well, those 12 years will be through the window (that's us). damaging the campus and harass- forego common sense, maybe before her criminal role is termi- it up in exactly nine months from I'll be the first to admit, it's ing those inhabiting it. should be grounds for leaving nated? today; Karla will be free, with a pretty entertaining watching the The University of Guelph's university, prematurely. inebriated fall on the interlocking new name, new look and ready to Letters, from page 7 itself. Laurier is Shinerama, (because of a "filter", I would later be school that has failed to uphold their Shinerama is the CCFF and I would- told). As I tried to sort things out, remarkable reputation. And, while ities other than the Canadian Cystic n't change it for the world. courses started closing. Frantic, I one side continues to reaffirm to me Fibrosis Foundation (CCFF) only began to choose courses that I knew the now redundant "There's nothing serves to illustrate how much Laurier Colin Szemenyei would fit my requirements but that we can do" sympathy motto, I'd like students actually care about people Shinerama Sponsorship Executive did not even remotely interest me. to pass on a message to all those and charities around the world. It's To make a very long story short, I "other numbers": Good luck. ■ Complete 30-Hour Seminars probably what I love the most about Banned blood ended up with a mere three credits for ■ Proven Test-Taking Strategies our amazing school. the entire year, and not even a single Susie Mowers ■ Personalized Professional Instruction So why, you ask, am I writing this term. I am a Canadian citizi n who lived in class in the winter When I ■ Comprehensive Study Materials letter? Well, here's why: I love the UK for four years. As a result, I sought academic counselling to try to | Letters: Shinerama and am so to have ■ Simulated Practice Exams proud too, am not allowed to donateblood. I remedy this issue, the only advice I All letters to the editor must be signed and sub- worked with all the amazing, hard- the at was given was to "graduate a semes- mitted with the author's name, student identifica- ■ Free Repeat Policy understand disappointment not tion number, and telephone number. Letters must i ■ working people involved in the event being able to donate. I also under- ter late." And so I am now paying ; be received by 12pm Tuesday on disk, or via e- Personal Tutoring Available and able to much i mail at [email protected] with the subject head- to have been raise so stand that although I may be perfectly roughly $3,000 for courses I chose as ing of 'Cord letter,' Letters must be typed or easi- ■ Thousands of Satisfied Students money. to ly legible and may not exceed 350 words. The healthy now, the symptoms of "Mad defaults my first and second choic- Cora reserves the right to edit any letter for brevi- So, after all of that hard work, I Cow" disease can take 20 to 30 years es. ty and clarity. Spelling and grammar will be cor- Oxford Seminars rected. The Cord reserves tne right to reject any can't help but feel irked by the sug- to manifest themselves. I appreciate In all honesty, I'm surprised with letter, in whole or in part. 1 -800-269-67I 9 gestion that Shinerama should the efforts of the Canadian Blood the University. If whatI have become The Cord reserves the right not to publish mate- 416-924-3240 "spread the wealth" and give to, as to rial that is deemed to be libelous or in contraven- Services in screening any potentially Laurier is "just another number," I tion with the Cord's Code of Ethics or journalistic some Cord Weekly writers would infected donors. Maybe if the Red am thoroughly disappointed in a standards. suggest, charities with "more merit". Cross had done the same...? The insinuation that Shinerama should give to a more "deserving" Tracy L. Swierenga charity just about makes my blood boil. Shinerama is the CCFF. Yes, it's Canadian Excellence in because of history but it's more than Registration Services? that. The 'merit' is in how much the people who get involved in When I made the decision to come to Shinerama care about Shinerama. Laurier back in 2001, I did so based Explore your Every member of our Shinerama on both the reputation of the school Executive team had been a part of and the treatment I received as an Shinerama in the past, one of whom is eager, potential student. I was Oppo ™ities! graduating and headed for a career impressed - a friendly and helpful working for the CCFF. That fails to staff, interesting programs and cours- even mention our team of general vol- es and, above all, the promise that at a unteer "Boosters" who are really the small school like Laurier, I would lifeblood of our campaign. The peo- never be "just another number." Well, Meet Admissions Directors hi Jfe ■* mm ■■ ffc ple who get involved in Shinerama do it's three years later and not only do I from these universities: I II K II it because of the cause. feel undistinguished among the Boston College ■ WIIUII I U Some suggest Shinerama could school's 10,000-plus students, I swear learn from the Laurier University there's a fluorescent dollar sign con- Charity Kouncil (LUCK), which is an stantly flashing on my forehead - one Columbia University amazing organization and one that I that I just can't seem to escape. (leathers GRADUATE FAIR admire greatly, but Shinerama is not It seems the once friendly, eager- (.ollege) LUCK. To me, Shinerama and Cystic to-please staff has turned into insensi- Fibrosis are now as synonymous as tive people with an utter lack of Sheraton Parkway Toronto North Terry Fox is with cancer research. regard or concern for my education or l:;:::;:; THIS is our fight. satisfaction with the school. My frus- (PubUc Health ami „, Hotel Entrance The answer is not changing tration with the university dates back ,/r a. school of Government) Shinerama. Shinerama and the CCFF to last September, when I was not Johns Hopkins University must continue fight accepted into many of the "required yy from |-| W 404 on Hwy 7. (near Leslie) to together until est y' ' CF is cured. core" Communication and English (Public Health) I raise money for Shinerama courses that I had chosen for the year. New York University Saturday, October 16,1:30 pm - 4:30 pm because that's what I care about. I It boggled my mind that a university raise money for Shinerama because of could require a student to take certain Pepperdine University my neighbour who died of CF when core courses, and proceed to deny University oi' Bristol she was 13. I raise money for some students access to them. That University of Parking Shinerama for my Shinerama Booster September, I lined up for three hours Miami Free who has CF and still worked tireless- just so I could make sure I fulfilled ly with us all day (and sometimes all my requirements for the year. Plus 60 More! FREE ADMISSION night) during O-Week. This summer, third-year students The answer is not turning were given a window for online regis- a June Shinerama into yearly "rent-a-char- tration dating from 4 to 9. So To see complete _ _ ity" that serves only as a cash there I was, 11:59 on June 3, all set to list of universities Penn V Bissett Consulting Inc., machine for random charities. choose my courses. But when I began www.universityfairs.ca Toronto, Ontario • 1-866-226-2322 Shinerama is engrained in Laurier tra- to register, there was a glitch - I was dition almost as much as the Hawk denied access to certain courses 10 International Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Turkish reforms set stage for EU inclusion With legal reforms set to be enacted, Turkey has met the pre-requisites for EU accession KYLE BOULDEN vised address to the nation, Staff Writer Erdogan said that "I would like to state very openly, clearly that I parliament passed am hopeful that a date for acces- Turkey'slegislation initiating a com- sion talks will be determined in plete overhaul of the country's December this year." The plans 78-year-old penal code. The leg- to join the EU are very popular in islation is the last of the reforms Turkey, where approximately 80 demanded by the European percent of people support ascen- Union (EU) as conditions for the sion. opening of membership talks. On Wednesday, EU Contributed Photo Discussions have been ongo- Enlargement Commissioner ing between Turkish Prime Guenter Verheugen will release a New Turkish laws make 'mercy-killings,' responsible for countless acid-burns, punishable with life in prison. Minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, report on Turkey's democratiza- order to bring Turkey in line with introduced include greater pun- tion, they are still critical of the and EU officials in Brussels after tion progress, which includes the European system. Verheugen, ishments for torture, human system. Several amendments are a crisis emerged over Turkey's reforms in recent years to curtail who is effectively the man in rights abuses, pedophilia, human seen to be discriminatory toward plans to include the criminalizing the role of the military in govern- charge of determining whether trafficking, as well as the traffick- women, and fears are that in of adultery among the new legal ment, increase the rights of Turkey will join the EU, has said ing of human organs. some cases they could be used to reforms. Erdogan eventually minorities, and bolster citizens' that with these new reforms there A notable amendment is one reduce the sentences of these agreed to drop the controversial freedoms of speech, assembly are "no more obstacles on the that would give life sentences for convicted murderers. plan, placating the EU and open- and association. The report will table." those convicted of "honour The last step will be for ing the way for parliament to form the basis upon which EU The Turkish reforms to crimi- killings," a practice in which Turkish President Ahmet Necdet endorse the new penal code. leaders will make a decision nal and civil law include women who are considered to Sezer to ratify the legislation. Erdogan was confident that about Turkey's ascension during increased religious and minority have disgraced their family are Once this happens, the new set of with the passing of the new laws, a summit on December 17. rights, as well as greater individ- murdered or maimed. While laws is set to come into effect on the road will be clear for Turkey's The changes are among key ual freedoms, such as freedom of women's groups consider the April 1, 2005. ascension into the EU. In a tele- conditions imposed by the EU in expression. New laws to be reforms a step in the right direc- A new series of separatist bombings leaves India in shock RICHARD TOGMAN pendence from the central Indian these provinces ever since. Staff Writer government. The National The war has killed more than Democratic Front of Boroland 15 000 people with no real end in Four separate explosions rocked and the United Liberation Front sight. Indian authorities claim the state of India this past week of Assam have been fighting with that the rebels' accusation of as violence flared and the death Indian authorities for control over threatening their culture and toll rose. These acts of terrorism, the states of Assam and exploiting their land is baseless, which included the bombing of a Nagaland. These predominantly as they have tried accommodat- power line, gas pipeline, tea plan- Christian areas claim to be seek- ing rebel demands and encour- tation and a busy marketplace, ing protection for their ethnic aged them in gov- occurred not in the West, where identities from the Hindu govern- ernment. For many residents of violence is more common, but in ment, and contend that the feder- Nagaland and Assam these steps the East. al government has exploited the have not gone far enough. They Separatist violence in the region for its natural resources, believe that only an independent West has stolen the headlines while leaving the citizens impov- Contributed Photo state can fulfill their cultural, eth- lately as Muslim terrorists fight erished. This once busy train station was turned into a crater by bombers. nic and economic needs. for control of Jammu-Kashmir. The people of this region The bombings in Nagaland were driven out. Separatists residents ofAssam and Nagaland However another separatist war claim to be under a colonial, end a seven-year ceasefire, claim that their land to independence is raging in the east of India near imperialist power, and are resist- has been desired declare signed by the government and the border with invaded by Hindus who were like the states of Pakistan, India the Myanmar ing occupation. The resistance is two leading rebel groups in 1997. (Burma). encouraged to immigrate there by and Myanmar. However, their deeply rooted in colonialism as it These recent bombings, which the Indian government. leadership was corrupted and co- This war is fought mainly by began in 1947 after the British have killed over 200 people, have Christians who inde- According to the rebels, the opted by the Indians, who have wish for left the entire country in a state of a over maintained stranglehold shock. Pressure continues to mount on Mugabe KRIS COTE The U.S. media is International Editor

Stopping in Canada on his global tour to speak out against the corrupting the election regime of Zimbabwean President, Mugabe, Archbishop Robert Pius Tyler Williams problem is that the media has not Ncube of Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, risen above this. While its job is spoke to the Canadian Parliament to present the issues in an objec- of the inhumane conditions tive fashion, they have instead Zimbabweans live in. Staff Writer merely contributed to the mud Ncube spoke of a political slinging.. culture that stifles dissent and The upcoming U.S. Presidential The media establishment is told Parliament that, "my heart election has been hailed as one of reeling from the recent bleeds — 1 suffer a lot — when I the most important in recent 'Rathergate' scandal, which has see the lot of the common man in memory. With issues such as the shamed two of the most trusted Zimbabwe." On Mugabe, he said Iraq War, the economy and the names in U.S. media, CBS News "I'm annoyed and upset when Contributed Photo continuing War on Terrorism all and award winning anchor Dan someone uses their power to Opposition party, the Movement for Democratic Change, faces proving to be hot-button issues, Rather. trample on the disadvantaged, on immense challenges in defeating incumbent President Robert Mugabe the need for the American public Last month, CBS News the poor," he said. screening them. how they intend to they to receive objective, unbiased reported that it had come into Mugabe has responded to govern if Ncube was joined this past are elected," they stated. information about where the can- possession of several documents Ncube's accusations by calling week by seven other Catholic Meanwhile, Ncube gave cred- didates stand on these important that clearly showed President him an "unholy man," and dis- Bishops who are speaking out it to recent issues has never been greater. George W. Bush had used the missed his arguments as a "satan- worries that against Mugabe for several rea- Zimbabwe will soon a Yet the media is not living up influence of his father to escape ic" betrayal of his country. face food sons. Press freedoms have been shortage. At a press conference in to its responsibility of providing service in Vietnam. Despite This past week, Mugabe under constant attack from the London, Ncube told that unbiased, non-partisan coverage. experts, including many at CBS enacted legislation to check char- reporters State, but with elections looming, "there is suffering in Zimbabwe, On the contrary, this election has News, who expressed doubts ity work being performed. Afraid the Bishops fear that Mugabe has so much so I estimate personally taken an enormous toll on the about the validity of these docu- that charity workers are responsi- an unfair advantage. "It is impor- that if it were not for the World credibility of the U.S. media. As ments, the trusted face of CBS ble for growing dissent, the new tant that all political parties have Food Program, a good half-mil- is typical in American politics, News, Dan Rather, went on 60 legislation forces charity groups access to media coverage so that lion Zimbabweans would have both of the major parties have to obtain permits, effectively - they can inform citizens about perished from hunger." resorted to mud slinging. The Please see Media, page 11 Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly International* 11 Does Kerry deserve to be the next President?

The world needs Kerry U.S. must remain steadfast with Bush Iraqi War, which is translating Brendan Jones The nation is faced with the their economic interests behind Rory Nisan into diminishing confidence in realization that it must be correct the nation's interest in security the American government. In the 100 percent of the time to prevent and survival. Yet the challenger long-term this has the potential to another atrocity from occurring, says it is better to engage in nego- decrease investment in the Columnist while its enemy must be correct tiations with enemies already Staff Writer U.S., which means that if the occupa- only once. It can only send its possessing weapons without the is easier to explain why tion of Iraq continues as it has Imagine, it is a warm fall morn- young men and women to far very same allies. The challenger ItGeorge W. Bush shouldn't be under Bush, America will be led ing, with only a few clouds away lands in hopes of slowly believes an international organi- president than it is to explain why into unbearable debt and deficit. traipsing the skies. The kind of altering the conditions from zation, which degenerates into John Kerry should. Yet there are a Kerry's desire to involve the day you would spend bar-b-queu- which its attackers drew their debate instead of interceding in number of things about Kerry world in American foreign policy ing with friends or tossing a foot- strength. A goal likely not com- acts of genocide, can better serve that qualify him for the presiden- serves a domestic end; it is good ball around the backyard. You say pleted in a matter of years, but a the Nation's interests. cy. for the American economy. goodbye to your Father and hug matter of decades. This is a challenger, however, His experience as both a vet- The Bush administration has your Mother as they head out the Now the Nation is faced with who gives reason to doubt the eran of Vietnam as well as pro- taken an America that was once front door, on their way to work a very important choice. substance behind his ideas. A tester of that conflict gives him a the leader of the free world and in the downtown core. Continue on with the leader that challenger, who calls the Nation's unique perspective on interna- has created such a profound lack Unfortunately, this is the last time is shepherding the Nation war a distraction, ignoring the tional relations as well as domes- of confidence in American politi- you will ever share a warm through this time of disquiet and fact that the ideology of hatred tic affairs. In a Senate race debate cal leadership that countries are embrace with your family. vulnerability, a leader who does toward the Nation has spread in 1996 he addressed an attack on looking elsewhere for guidance. You flick on the radio only to what is sometimes unpopular but across parts of two continents and his anti-death penalty stance: The strong U.S. dollar has often hear a sullen, somber voice. What is steadfast and has the Nation's that allies cannot be charmed into "But the fact is, Governor, that been a measure of their strength the voice says sends shivers best interest at heart, or march a "distraction." A challenger who yes, I've been opposed to the in the world, but the Eurodollar is down your spine. You frantically into the unknown with the chal- lays claim to being the best man death penalty. I know something now much more powerful. Under rush to the phone to call your par- lenger. to win a war not even worth fight- about killing. I don't like killing. Kerry's leadership and his intent ents; however, the telephone sys- The challenger says the ing, so as to appease his support- I don't think a state honours life to work more closely with allies tem is overloaded and your fears Nation would be safer as a ers who want him to call home by turning around and sanction- to restore confidence in are greeted with the mundane fortress that sporadically sends the Nations soldiers, and appeal ing killing." America's political establish- buzz of a busy signal. out the guards when faced with to those who do not. A challenger It is true that an aversion to ment, America will once again You turn on the television, imminent attack, instead of seek- who bases his credibility not on killing does potentially have neg- lead the World. Kerry's desire to churning through the dials at a ing a fundamental solution to a his 20 years in government, but ative consequences should it enter the International Criminal hurried pace. Every channel lit- fundamentalist quandary. his four months in a 30-year-old become necessary to kill another. Court will have a similar impact tered with smoke, fire and the With almost intentional nar- conflict that he came home from However, Kerry's personal expe- on their world standing. same indelible image of two rowness, the challenger claims accusing those he stood shoulder rience with war should help him While Americans are the peo- planes. As the buildings crumble that he can permanently secure to shoulder with of war crimes; a recognize when war is appropri- ple able to vote in the election, to the ground with countless the nation from an attack from conflict that he has already lied ate. In last Thursday's debate he global perceptions of Bush innocent people inside, so does within. By the same token, the about the extent of his participa- spoke of a "global test" for inter- should have an impact on their the nation's collective psyche. challenger claims the war was in tion in. A challenger who willful- vention. Republicans have decision. If Kerry doesn't win, Having been attacked by an error because the demagogue did ly lied to make his public contra- attacked this statement and while imagine the anger around the enemy that is not exclusive to any not possess weapons, and by that dictions seem like honest mis- it might have hurt his rating World at Americans for re-elect- borders or one group, nor identi- same logic, the demagogue never takes. slightly, this policy is essential ing someone who has, in the evi- fiable by any uniform, that sees would. That challenger is John Kerry. for continued American growth. dent opinion of much of the the death of your citizens at the The challenger says the Now imagine that Nation is Historically, great powers world, done such terrible things cost of their own lives as honor- Nation can better protect itself Canada, and those buildings have lost their hegemonic (domi- for both the U.S. and the World. able. An enemy that only under- from afar by enticing allies, crumbled down onto downtown nant) status when they bite off A failure to appease this opinion stands the language of action, and engaging in substantial trade with Toronto. more than they can chew. Thomas could have severe and long last- the only word it knows is force. weapon-seeking enemies, to put Hobbes reminds us that the power ing consequences on America, of many is always greater than and future endeavors. - Media, from page 10 Unfortunately this embarrassing rational discussion of the merits the power of one. Unlike President gaffe was not an isolated inci- and drawbacks of each party's Kerry recog- Bush, Kerry Minutes and defended these this important to dent. Rather, it has characterized platform. No, you will see crazed nizes principle of has the intellectual capabilities documents and the anonymous the international system. formulate a foreign this election. ideologues threatening that if the concerted source that had given them to Alienating the other great policy. It was clear in last week's With so many vital and other candidate wins, then the powers him. Less than a week later, a has the potential to lead the U.S. debate that has a clear important issues at stake, the fate of the Republic is in jeop- Kerry plan chagrined Dan Rather went on into eventual ruin. media has turned into a mass of ardy. Or they rant about Vietnam for solving the Iraq crisis and for national television and admitted ranting ideologues desperate to and whether Democratic nomi- Legitimacy is lacking for the restoring American standing. that he had been duped. discredit their opponents by any nee John Kerry was where he The fact that the first people means necessary. said he was on a particular day to that these documents prove Turn on any so-called news thirty years ago. false, were a group of 'blog- show such as CNN's Crossfire or This senseless ranting is not gers,' was seen as by many CNBC's Hardball with Chris the role the media is supposed to another nail in the coffin Windows to the World of the Matthews, and you will not see a fill. Yet due to the media monop- credibility. mainstream news' oly, those speaking out against this situation are often not heard. Instead, viewers are subjected to perpetual mud slinging, lies and vitriolic propaganda. That, my friends, is sad.

Mo' Muammar, mo' lack of democracy in the world, Kyoto Now? in 1990 accounted for 36 percent problems we must First admit that it is lack- of emissions, does not support ing in the United Nations." He In a complete reversal of policy, Kyoto. Experts predict that U.S. Following the pleas of Brazil, also urged the world to "stop Russia announced last week that businesses will make Kyoto-like ESL Teacher Training Courses India, Japan and Germany, infusing money into this dead it will ratify the Kyoto Protocol reforms in an effort to keep up H Incensive 60-Hour Program Libya, a recently vindicated ter- body." on climate change. To conform with current technology. ■ Classroom Management Techniques rorist state led by the dictator In justifying Libya's to the pact, Russia must now A new round of climate talks ■ Detailed Lesson Planning Muammar al-Gaddafi, has called demands, Shalghem stated that lower its greenhouse gas emis- has been scheduled for ■ Comprehensive Teaching Materials for a seat in the United Nations "there can be no Mediterranean sions by 5.2 percent of its 1990 December in Buenos Aires, ■ Internationally Recognized Certificate Security Council. Sea without Libya," and remind- levels by 2012. Argentina. Efforts will be made ■ Job Guarantee included Libyan Foreign Minister ed everyone of the country's With Russia agreeing to sign to bring in the U.S. and Australia, ■ Thousands of Satisfied Students Abdurrahman Mohamed recently discontinued weapons the protocol, the pact will have and to set limits for China, which Oxford Seminars Shalghem, told the world that of mass destruction program. enough signatures to come into does not currently have any 1-800-269-6719 / 416-924-3240 before we can talk about the effect worldwide. The U.S., who emissions standards. 12•Feature Wednesday October 6, 2004 • The Cord Weekly -Wedl

HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONS: LEADING DIET FADS

~ Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution

The father of "low-carb" diets Introducing ...the Mediterranean

Atkins' nutritional approach was indeed revolutionary, pro­ Possibly the next leading moting a low carb diet high in protein. According to this in dieting ... approach, you are allowed to eat as much fat as you want but little to no carbs. Although long-term research shows Not yet an extremely popular fad, recent studies are otherwise, many swear by this diet. As a short-term "quick appearing everywhere; news, talkshows and magazines fix," it has worked for many. have all brought this simple diet into the public eye. Atkins started a worldwide dieting phenomena influenc­ diet is as simple as imitating the traditional eating ing many other popular diets such as the South habits of the Mediterranean regions of N Beach Diet and countless others. Low-carb Africa, Southern Europe and the '""a'""u'1 trends spread like wildfire into the food Mediterranean. Studies show HEAlTI- industry leading to a huge market for low­ ships between these diets arid low carb products including beer, ice cream and of chronic disease. pretty much anything else one could con­ Bread is considered a staple food sume. eaten sans butter or margarine. focus of the diet is on fruits, veggies, Phil whole grains, nuts and seeds. Rice, couscous and legumes such as DIET peas and other such M(~dllten·anean T~ psychologist's approach favourites are at the core of · doctor believes that losing weight isn't about meals counting calories, points or even carbs. According to by Dr. Peter Dr. Phil, the "7 keys" to weight loss are all about self Tii< control, and getting away from "self-destructive over-eating." Dieting is only for those ready to embrace a new lifestyle. Chair Kinesiology ang

Weight loss is not a difficult · is not exempt from the basic laws of thermodynamics. In other words, if energy intake from our diet is exceeded by energy expenditure, resulting primarily from basic cellular functions and energy expend­ ing movements (such as exercise or normal daily activities), then body weight will decrease. The reverse is also true, such that when dietary energy intake exceeds expenditure, .weight goes up. In general, our body's ability to control weight is good. The average moderately active adult will expend and consume approXJimatelv million kilo-calories of energy each year. Despite this seemingly large PnP•rm' ·- (which is equivalent to approXJimately 130 kg or about 300 lbs of body fat)most uals gain or lose relatively little weight over the course of a year. Instead, adults usually occurs gradually, with, for example, weight gains in the year after adolescence. The result is that at age 40 many adults fmd that 20 kg or more than they did in their youth. This is often termed "creeping

In a nutshell, eat heal thy types of (omega-3 and on more important i Successful weight loss also works the same way. Studies that have looked at overweight health than conce adults who have lost significant amounts of weight (and have been able to avoid regaining the overall quanti weight for at least one year following the weight loss), have found that a few simple rules , diet. Weight loss apply: best accomplished combination of a s 1. Successful weight loss without subsequent weight regain is most likely to occur in a regular light ex individbals who lose weight relatively slowly over a longer period of time. Weight loss should not exceed 0.5-1.0 kg per week. This could result from only modest modifications to one's diet such as the cutting out of "empty calorie" foods such as a daily dessert or soft drinks. -

2. Weight loss and subsequent weight maintenance should be accomplished by a combination of exercise with appropriate modest dietary modifications. In particular, regular exercise, which can be as simple as walking, will over the long term, result in significant extra energy· expenditure. For example, an average individual who walks about 3 km (2 miles) per day can expect to expend the energy equivalent of over 14 kg or about 30 lbs of body fat in one year.

3. Diets that promise rapid weight loss or. ask one to follow an unusual or fad diet are not nearly as successful in long term weight loss or in subsequent avoidance of weight regain. Wednesday October 6, 2004 • The Cord Weekly Feature•13 -!r. -

\LTH &

,eter Tiidus

absoFJ1tion · o( carbohydrates varies 'greatly "d~~ed:~g qn"W.eir fot1ll f!Uf[ source. . ,,, C::atbQ~yl:lra~(!~ .fltat)JaV(a }O¥("glycymic index''(~ meas~e ~f !J.o'f quicld~ ' :c:ilitPOP-Ydrate appears m the blood followmg. tngesttoty at;e . di-~ndabsoroeq _ moreslowly and th~refore do~otsttmutate:J!l~.. unrespon&~ as gr~atly as others which are 'nlO,Fe guic!dyJdigesteg a~ctabsorbed ,.(high glycemicindex car- boitf;~~~~thlarge a~o;nts o~l}!~h glyce!W~index : carbs . sucli as,white hr~(ld, potatoes; or renn~d sugar,. may promote.factors h~idi'ng ~9 ~ti¢re;:tsed in(;idences. of diabetes and ..circulatory dis- ·~ . . . eases. .' .. · .. > - . · . . In contrast.:i!Jcreased dietary intake ofJow glycemic ind.ex ¢~bohydrat~ sueh as''brau muffins, whole wheat spaghetti or - IDI;lny fruits :and vegetable§ will!Jave beneficial health effe.cts.

Aa.mteresting .stoc)y;..read this! n a nutshell, eating more · foocjs that are high in the A study by Dr. Guy Folia" and ~ ·· wl•idJ was publisbedm ealthy types of carbs (low glycemic index) and fats 1he New &gland 1oiQal of...... , in 2003, examined 1he eJfeo. )mega-3 and other forms of unsaturated fats) are tiveoess ofiow-cadJ.dietSm lonJ-term weigbtloss in obese :mea and lore important to the average person's long-term ·women. Subjeds ~. cliWfedibfo'two JIUIIl1S aad iasfl:w:ted to fOl­ ealth than concentrating on increasing or decreasing low eidle£ a~ (Atliwtypc}'diet or a·COIIYallioaal ~e over~ll quantity of ~arbohydrates or fats in one:s .higtr ~ tow-fat did, bdh wiitt equal "kwds of calotiO. 1et. We1ght loss and 1ts long-term mamtenance IS ~foe one yea(. est accomplished by slow we1ght reduction using a ombination of a small reduction in caloric intake with The study fouad thai: while dJc JoW...cab group leaded 10 initiaJiy regular light exercise program. loSe more weight in the fint 6 IIIOQihs of1hestudy. there"Wete nodif­ fenaces between gmuprafta' one yeac

_L 14Student Life The Cord Weekly - Wednesday October 6, 2004 Students want proper learning space Complaints made by faculty and tuition payers go unresolved even after student petition is presented JOANNE SPANNINGA school as much as it does at other Cord Student Life schools." Having attended six classes asked about their classroom over the course of four years in Ifexperiences, university stu- the elementary school building dents across Ontario will rarely around the corner, Scharf has had include descriptions of wailing enough, and is now fighting on babies, knee-high drinking foun- behalf of future Ails students to tains and the ambiance of a gym- have the building adjusted to nasium. That is, of course, unless meet a higher standard for learn- you are a student, primarily from ing. the Faculty of Arts at Laurier. For On Monday, September 27, Melanie Scharf, a fifth year Melanie Scharf submitted a peti- Honours English student, the tion of 73 signatures to Dean of daycare centre next door to the Students, Davis McMurray, St. Michael's building is the requesting that the noise level "straw that broke the camel's around the building be con- Erin Moore back." trolled, or that classes be moved St. Michael's Campus, across street from Wilfrid Laurier's main campus, is leaving Arts to a more suitable location. By located the students with a bad taste in their mouths as they deal with crying children and cold rooms. "St. Mike's?.,. I had a Wednesday the petition had been tutorial there first denied with an explanation that students. and will not see, what Arts stu- school "close the classrooms" if did not address the issue. Scharf Scheduling class at St. dents must endure. The torment no other alternative is offered. year. That's the only was simply told that there was no Michael's is not solely academi- of excessive heat in the summer Campbell is currently looking time that I ever saw room. This reply was unaccept- cally inconvenient; it is consid- and winter, connected class- into improving the heating, cool- the inside of that sad able to Scharf and she is planning ered by students like Scharf to be rooms, cracking or malfunction- ing and ventilation system in the little elementary her next step. Having con- insulting to the Arts Faculty in ing microphones, crying babies, building, realizing that "if the school." vinced McMurray to address comparison to other university traffic noise and facilities built environment is not conducive to John Metcalfe from the faculties. for children, somehow does not good learning, it must be - Graham Edwards, thirdyear Registrar's Office on her behalf, When asked what he thought warrant spending four to five addressed." Business and Computer Science and pending a meeting with Dean about classes at St. Mike's, hundred dollars in tuition per Both of the Deans claim to Robert Campbell, head of the Graham Edwards, a third-year class. have been unaware that St. Arts Faculty, she hopes to inspire Business and Computer Science McMurray and Campbell are Michael's was a negative issue to Scharf believes St. Mike's to changes. If no solution is pro- major replied, "St. Mike's? The sympathetic to the situation. students and Campbell, who has be a severe hindrance to her edu- posed Scharf is prepared to write campus? I had a tutorial there McMurray believes that "if it's to taught classes in the building and cation, and refers to the building to the Kitchener-Waterloo first year. That's the only time the point where the rooms are too understands its weaknesses, urges as "an embarrassment to the Record to let the public know that I ever saw the inside of that disruptive, the University needs them to bring issues, comments school" as a whole. She sees it as what the thousands of dollars sad little elementary school". to look at other alternatives" to or complaints to the Student Arts a reflection of how "education paid in tuition is providing for Truth be told, the majority of holding classes in rooms 103 and Council. doesn't seem to matter at this business students have not seen, 105, even suggesting that the Obstacles overcome by Radio Laurier Marathon one, the marathon did not take Campus club runs successful place at all last year, so there was- n't much for the executive mem- event raising $500 for WUSC bers of the station to base this year's event on. JESSICA PETER student refugees to sponsors However, despite difficulties, Cord Student Life come and study at Laurier. most of the events went as The basic idea was simple: planned. The first night there was Radio Laurier's slogan is "Turn DJs broadcasted their shows for the acoustic show with Glory us on and pleasure yourself'. full 50 hours, along with other the Fades covering the evening. During their 50 Hour Marathon, events and entertainment, to raise However, it was what Events Wednesday September 29 at money for WUSC, raise aware- Coordinator Tolga Hocanin noon until Friday October 1 at 2 ness and have a for Radio Laurier referred to as "an acoustic show, pm, they definitely pleasured little fun along the way. However, but not acoustic per se," since it Laurier, but it took some Work to there were several difficulties and turned out to be a little more than get it there. some general bad luck that made Overall, just that. The well received band RL was able to raise it hard for the events to run decided to bring and use all of approximately $500 for WUSC smoothly. (World their equipment instead. There University Service of The scheduled events were were also about 10 people who Canada), an international devel- quite extensive, but some did not took advantage of the open mic opment group on campus, which actually end up happening. For as part of the event.

Radio Laurier "Summer Hero liad a Students and sleepy Radio Laurier volunteers took advantage of the great stage presence fun times provided by the three bands playing Wiif's on Thursday. and energized the had been planned turned into opening with fast punk that had show," free-styling. This portion of the people's heads bobbing. Rowena Marathon was an effort to pro- Garcia, a second-year Political

- Rowena Garcia, Political mote hip-hop on the Laurier cam- Science/Global Studies major, Science/Global Studies pus. said that, "Summer Hero had a The largest event of the great stage presence and ener- marathon was the packed concert gized the show." Wednesday night, several DJs at Wiif's later that evening, with By the time Brampton indie stayed overnight in the One Short, Five Blank Pages and rock band Five Blank Pages came Concourse to broadcast their Summer Hero. The show also on, the crowd had gotten a little shows. Even with some of them featured the DJ Auctions. Several too raucous to fully .appreciate running on no sleep at all, the RL DJs were auctioned off as dates them. One Short, the champions team got through the full day for a night and the winner would of last year's Battle of the Bands, Thursday, and made it to that also get to co-host their show for and what Hocanin calls night's headlining event. the next week. Many DJs sold for "Laurier's prize band", were the First up were the MC Battles over $50. As DJ Dan Kunz said, headliners and were also well and break dancing with TKO they received "more money for received. being the ultimate winner. Due to the DJs than expected. 1 ' All those involved seemed to Radio Laurier last minute dropouts however, the The concert itself went well, enjoy themselves as the evening A Radio Laurier volunteer seeks donations for the World University break dancing competition that with Oshawa's Summer Hero ended on a successful note. Service of Canada, who received the proceeds of the event. The Cord Weekly - Wednesday October 6, 2004 Student Life 15 Vocal Cord Thought Does St. Mike s provide for a sufficient learning for here Thanksgiving. It be water a saucepan and Food for environment? Should we move classes from there may in dissolve. ANDREW BOLTER because they live too far away, Bring to a boil, add a 12-ounce if possible? LAURIE SADOWSKI Cord Food Critics have to work in Waterloo or have bag of cranberries, and return to some other reason. It is for this a boil. Reduce the heat and boil

" reason that every year, whether I gently for ten minutes, stirring Its alright, it's got "It depends, it's up Triptophen is one of my favorite home or not, I have a occasionally. blackboards in it" to the professor and drugs! The feeling of waking up go here, the students to pro- on my couch with my face wet Thanksgiving dinner in vide the adequate from my own drool may happen Waterloo, with my friends. Pumpkin Cake learning environ- more than once a year, but when Each year a couple of people ment." I see my belt on the floor and the buy and cook a turkey, and the Take 2 cups of flour, 2 tsp. of gravy stains on my shirt I know rest bring vegetables, mashed both baking powder and cinna- potatoes, stuffing, cranberry mon, 1 tsp. of both baking soda JOEL AZZOPARDI CHRIS MACDONALD something very special has just SECOND YEAR SECOND YEAR That sauce and, of course, pumpkin and salt, 4 eggs, 2 cups of pump- PSYCHOLOGY BIOLOGY happened. something spe- cial is Thanksgiving. pie. Everyone has different kin, 1.5 cups of white sugar and a The feeling I get before dig- recipes and dishes that they have cup of oil. Mix the dry into wet ging into a traditional turkey din- at their house at Thanksgiving ingredients, and pour in an "It's fine, it just "Definitely move ner with all the trimmings is def- and this is a way you can get the ungreased 9" x 13" pan. Bake at sucks that it's classes if possible, initely the same as what Godzilla best of numerous people's family 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes. across the street." to somewhere clos- might feel gazing at a newly con- traditions. Cool, and then add the cream er on campus." structed metropolis. We briefly Here are a couple of winning cheese icing. Just mix together 1 admire our prey, swiftly plan our Thanksgiving recipes to add to cup of butter, a 4-ounce stick of attack and then destroy as much your meal. cream cheese, and 1 lb. of icing can, quickly possible. sugar. as we as as Mashed Potatoes CRAIG LAFFERTY GREG FLYNN while starts SECOND YEAR SECOND YEAR But Godzilla usually PSYCHOLOGY PSYCHOLOGY with an appetizer of about 30 Japanese men and a couple of First, open a bag of potatoes cars, I prefer a medley of mashed and,cut off ugly parts, but keep the skin on. After you cut the "It meets the expan- "Its fine for tutori- potatoes, stuffing and turkey, all into them in sion needs of the als, not lectures." topped with a pitcher of gravy. spuds quarters drop University, and it's My advice is to use the gravy to boiling water and cook them close by." your advantage. The more gravy until a knife slides through them you put on, the less chewing you with no effort. Next drain the have to do and the longer you can water and add one stick of salted continue eating. butter, a couple dashes of milk or cream and salt MICHELLE DEDECKER ROULA MARKOULAKIS After the dining room mas- and pepper. Mash FOURTH YEAR SECOND YEAR them and you're done. BIOLOGY KINESIOLOGY sacre finishes, and any dishes not broken are washed, it's time for Homemade Cranberry Sauce you and your now-delusional Contributed Photo to out. stu- family pass Some Oh World. Food fights cup of sugar in cup of Boy Meets at dents, however, will be staying Mix 1 1 Thanksgiving spread the love.

Horoscopes

Birthday Libra! ' Further Education? j Hoppy (Oct. 6-12) Aries (Mar. 21 -Apr. 19) Considering Something unexpected will happen as a If you are looking at a relationship, either result of meeting someone new. They with a friend or with a partner, make sure will have a new way of looking at things you are getting what you want out of the Don't Miss Laurier's... and may have a surprise for you on your friendship. Don't be told by anyone what birthday. Don't look deep into situations; to do, You have to make up your own the results won't be what you first think. mind. Luckiest day: October 9 libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) " " Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20) <* Make sure on Graduate and Professional you stay top of you're financial situation. Money is leaving you You could be in for some kind of conflict as fast as it's coming in. It's better to in the workplace or at school. Someone save for unexpected problems than to could do something that doesn't please drain your bank account completely. you at all. Make sure this person knows Luckiest day: October 6 what you think and don't let them get Education Fair away with anything. Scorpio (Oct. Luckiest day: October 10 23-Nov. 21) | || Gemini (May 21-June 21) You may have to make a choice over ( ili Wednesday, October 13, 2004 friends. If more than one person is ask- m Jflll ing for your attention do your best to pick Don't let an authority figure tell you how the most deserving person to help. to run your life. You are well aware of Some choices are going to be more what to do and what results you want to obvious than others. achieve. Take any positive advice being 3:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. Luckiest day: October 12 offered to you, it may come in handy later on. Luckiest day: October 7 Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec. 21) ; j - Corner (June 22-july 22) Paul Martin Centre, Concourse and Senate & Board Chamber You are going to be able to control most situations going on around for the next while. There could be a lot of change coming Use your charm and charisma to you and around people you know. put people who don't have it as lucky for at Over the next while it will be better to ease. Many friends could be coming to you for advice. think more creatively than logically. Meet with representatives from over 60 graduate, professional and Luckiest day: October Don't run from any problems, it's better 7 to solve them right away.

* Luckiest day: October 12 V post-degree college programs from across Canada and international Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) jjj l| Leo (July 23-August 22/ locations. If you are feeling left out or a little lonely it is only because you are withdrawing If friends or family are quarrelling with yourself from activities. If you put an each other and they want you to solve effort into participating with other activi- their problems, do your best to help ties, life will become a little more inter- them, but don't feel obligated to fix esting. everything. Mediate between the two Luckiest day: October 6 parties and everything will work out. For more information and a list of participants, please visit our Web Luckiest day: October 8 Aquarius 20-Feb. 18) § and look in the events section. 'Jan. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) j I 1 ft site special If you have taken on too many things to Any extra work you put into projects or do you are going to start feeling the pressure of school work will pay off in the long run. all these tasks. The best A of really good things could be in solution is to deal with one problem lot at a store for you over the next little while if Community Members Welcome! time and not to combine any of your tasks or you maintain a positive outlook on what- issues. ever you're doing. day: October Luckiest 7 Luckiest day: October 11 Wsces (Feb. I 9-Mar. 20) Jj Daniel Rath is a Journalism gradu- If it feels as though you are always pick- ate of Conestoga College and is cur- ing up the pieces of everyone's prob- rently a Comtftuntcafion Studies lems it's because people feel they can student at Laurier. He has fvyj Laurier Career Services trust you. Wilfrid Make sure nobody is taking st udied Astrology and other topics advantage of your kindness the cornerstone of a great career though, that genre almost ten years. draw the line somewhere. of for Luckiest day: October 12 16 Sports Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly More bully than battle on gridiron Hawks prove too strong for University Avenue counterparts; remain undefeated, second in Canada

game with an impressive average passing yardage of 276 per game. Such a number was difficult to match on a chilly October night as Pyear tallied 170 yards in just over two quarters of action. Pyear's top receiver, Andrew Dominance, from cover Baechler added to his All- Canadian numbers catching for The Hawks offence was piloted 101 yards on three receptions. by running back Nick Cameron, who collected 157 yards on 20 carries, including the first two The offensive line put touchdowns of the game. a combined weight of Cameron, who was awarded player of the game, attributed the 1400 pounds to work team's success to a combined against the Warriors. team effort. "All three units are coming Baechler now sits at second in together," said Cameron adding, the CIS in receiving yards, while "we're a confident bunch of Pyear is third in total yards. The guys." two players connected on a high- He noted that his personal light reel 60-yard gain, that saw success was the direct result of an Pyear drop a gem to Baechler in offensive Erin Moore "exceptional" line. The the second quarter. The second- five big men anchored by fourth- year may have marched the dis- After leading the Hawks on to the field, Lee Maggiacomo gets a quick helmet tune-up. and maintained year Ryan Jeffrey tance had it not been for a lone by Andrew Dietrich, Kyle yards in total offensive. The tions. players and fans anticipate a per- Waterloo back that caught defence was led in large part by But for the 2,000 in atten- fect regular season and what Weston, Mitch Zappitelli and Baechler's ankle. Brock, put a com- linebacker Yannick Carter who dance, the highlight of the lop- could be a long play-off run. rookie Wayne Laurier's defence once again bined of to spent most of Saturday night sided game may have occurred Cameron, however, is reluc- weight 1400-pounds proved why they are the back- work the Warriors. blitzing the Warrior backfield and early in the fourth quarter. tant to glance too far into the against bone to this Hawks team, by lim- QB Ryan Pyear entered the finished the game with three and Following a Hawks' TD by back- future. "We'll take each game as iting the Warriors to just 181 a half tackles. Safety, lan Logan, up Adam Sheerer, the stadium it comes and continue to play had a strong outing as he collect- announcer informed the audience hard." ed both of the team's intercep- of the TD, but inadvertently left his microphone on. After a pause,

OU" Standings Ladies tie on the a lucky crowd heard the announc- C 7 (ft er's personal reflection on ! Team W L OTL PTS Waterloo's performance. "That Laurier 0 0 10 was pathetic." 5 1. MONTREAL (2) pitch, again Also red in the face, were McMaster 4 10 8 2. LAURIER (3) Ottawa and Alberta who lost in Ottawa 4 10 8! 3. SASKATCHEWAN (4) week five action. The losses DAN POLISCHUK pried from her grasp and driven allowed Laurier to claim sole Western 3 2 0 6 Staff Writer 4. LAVAL (5) into the net. The official, howev- possession of first place in Guelph 3 2 0 6 er, ruled that it was not a goal 5. SAINT MARY'S (6) Ontario and the second highest It was a game of inches for 4 because Bryce had control of the 6. MCMASTER (7) ranking in Canadian collegiate York 2 3 0 Laurier's women's soccer team ball. The score therefore football. Windsor 2 3 0 4 on Sunday as they reeled off a 7. ALBERTA (1) remained unchanged. The remaining three games for fourth straight draw. This time (9) Waterloo 13 13 8. CONCORDIA the Hawks, against Guelph, York though, it was a 0 - 0 score 9. WESTERN (10) and Ottawa, should formulate Queen's 14 0 2 against Windsor. Windsor 0-0 Laurier into three victories, as Hawks' In a season that the team has 10, CALGARY (NR) Toronto 0 5 0 0 ; seen a drop-off in the goals-for The Hawks had two magnifi- column, Sunday's game didn't cent chances to put the game prove to be much of a morale away in a span of five minutes. booster. In the 77 minute, a flurry in the Hawks plan on battling "to the end" The bad luck continued in the crease area popped the ball in the DAN POLISCHUK the 'keeper for a 1 - 0 lead. games, but I think it was just a late portion of the first half as air but was headed off the Lancer Staff Writer Daniele Toto doubled the lead matter of having a lot of first Nadia De Faven was denied a crossbar. The 81 minute pro- goal on a sensational diving save less than a minute before half years and helping them to learn duced a beautiful cross into the The winds of change were cer- by the goalkeeper. time with a shot about 20 yards how to win," said Lyall. "We're Lancer's goal crease again, but the Laurier tainly blowing through Going into half, off on the wing. in a battle right now, and this the second forward deflected her kick off University Sunday the home side looked determined Stadium after- Usually with a lead like this, game was especially huge for us- the bar. noon as the men's soccer squad to end the drought. The plan the 'old' Hawks would have just being able to push Windsor down Overshadowed by the lack of impressively defeated the nearly backfired as a Lancer's sat back and waited for the game in the standings," he added. scoring was the team's always - Windsor Lancers 4 1. to wind down. Not so this time as When asked which Laurier shot from close in hit the cross- stifling defensive play, which Del Henry team to expect for rest of the bar of the Hawks' goal and be considered the Michael Rossi and the may among Aguilar added goals of their own season, Lyall confidently deflected downward to the goal best in the OUA this year. Windsor 4-1 Laurier in the 67 and 78 minute respec- responded, "This is the teamright line. A scramble ensued, in Laurier will hope it continues as which keeper Marie Bryce tively to seal the victory. now that's gonna battle right to the team takes on RMC at home it was a in which the grabbed the ball before it was game the end." on Friday. blustery conditions added a breath of fresh air to a Laurier "We're in a battle team that had to get back into the right now, and this playoff hunt. This may have explained why there seemed to game was especially be a new looking squad on the huge for us," pitch; one which showed much - Lyall, captain more emotion and dedication - Jason team two things which had been lack- ing for much of the early part of A last minute goal by the season. Windsor midfielder Marc Mills Getting the ball rolling for the spoiled Allen Lourenco's shutout 'new-look' Hawks in the 31 bid. minute was Ned Jovanovic. Laurier team captain Jason Receiving a bouncing pass, after Lyall believed that it was just a defender David Cox had stopped matter of time before the real a Lancer clearing attempt, Golden Hawks showed up. Narges Bayani Jovanovic was able to strike the "The attitude of the team real-

- ball the far behind Despite this effort, the Hawks were unable to score in the 0 0 tie off post and ly dropped off in the earlier Rowena Garcia Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Sports* 17 What I learned from RJJ Brian D'Souza teur level. What he was slowly coming back down to the 175 distancing himself from was his pound weight class took its toll prime years as an athlete and in a on Roy's body, and his decline few minutes he would go from began. walking into the ring to hobbling Staff Writer like an old man out of it. ARGO-NOTTheGOINGhawklist TO HAVE A DECENT PLACE TO PLAY ANY TIME SOON The opening bell rang, and They called him an Contrary to popular opinion, the Toronto Glen Johnson moved from the arrogant fool who first time I saw Roy Jones Argonauts as a big comer opposite Roy to close the still exist CFL franchise in the Jr. fight was in February had wasted his talent smoke. Overall, the Argos' history is only slight- The distance. For almost fifteen sec- 2002 against a garbage man fighting cans. ly amusing than the Buffalo Bills' which is onds in the third round, the audi- tomato less named Glen Kelly. In the seventh still downright hilarious. Not only did the Argos' ence lived in a time warp where round, Roy had worn him down move from an awful outdoor stadium nicknamed they thought that they were Make no mistake that despite enough to start showboating. He 'the mistake by the lake' into an awful indoor sta- watching the RJJ of old: hitting the two KO losses this man was stood against the ropes, with his dium nicknamed 'a piece of blue concrete shit,' and running, making it look easy the definitive fighter of my gen- hands behind his back, and lured but their latest plans for a new home at Varsity against the best of the best. Then, eration. He wasn't likened to a Kelly in. Quick as lightning, Stadium fell by the wayside thanks to University in the ninth round, after being crazed gorilla the way Tyson set Kelly got rocked by Roy's fast of Toronto bureaucrats. Apparently, a joint venture mercilessly beaten on the score- himself up for it. He was a guy hands, and was put down for the with Soccer Canada and the doesn't make cards, the lights went out for Roy. from a rural area, just like me, CFL count. sense I T He lay on the canvas for min- who managed to project an image financial for the school. applaud U of for This was the type of perform- maintaining slightly more sense than the creators utes, not seconds. This was far of urban sophistication and street ance that had made him a virtual- of Home Alone 3. ly undefeated champion, and a worse than his previous KO loss toughness. He never lost control to ring, despised, egotistical superstar. Antonio Tarver in May. Old- of himself outside the and MANCHESTER UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Even though he had vanquished timers everywhere felt pangs of never let himself get fat and The threat of an American taking ownership of greats like Bernard Hopkins and fear as memories of Gerald unruly like James "Let's Eat" Manchester United has sent fans of the English Toney. James Toney, people refused to McClellan, the boxer who was Premier club into bloody hysterics. Malcolm give him respect. They called him first put into a Years ago, when I read about Glazer, who owns the Tampa Bay Bucs, and looks "oma put an arrogant fool who had wasted and then a the hellish training his father like a hobbit on steroids when he smiles, current- his talent fighting tomato cans. vheelchair, him through, I started to grasp ly holds a 19.2 percent stake in United, and has They criticized him for not fight- were revived. what was superhuman about him. reportedly expressed interest in buying out two ing overseas against the linear At 35 years He had been thrown into fights Irishmen to hold majority ownership. Glazer, Light Heavyweight Champion, :>f age, RJJ with older boys, with one hand although hated in Manchester, can take comfort in Darius Michalczewski, even nad lost the tied behind his back. The way knowing that the locals practice their own form of though Jones was afraid of being very physical he'd been mentally and physical- amnesia every night involving several pints of robbed by foreign judges ever gifts that ly tortured, our society would Boddington's and a gutter which predictably since the 1988 Seoul Olympic lelped him win. He was have called it child abuse. results in a blank slate every morning. scandal where the Korean left with his unorthodox Don't look back at RJJ like he boxer he faced in the finals style— and a lack of was Seabiscuit, or a female tennis JORDAN'S LACKEY SET TO RETIRE was given a gift decision. defence. After beating star only popular because of her He is one crazy looking character, and as of On September 25, Roy John Ruiz for the looks. He was a man among men Monday, Scottie Pippen can spend even more time who walked that Larry stepped into the ring in a V WBA Heavyweight a line looking crazy now that basketball is off the agen- somewhat unfamiliarrole as the title in March Merchant and Jim Lampley da. Pippen, who was a large part of the Bulls' six challenger. He wore Andre 2003, could only talk about to World Championship teams in the 90s, had decid- Ward's Olympic gold medal, a fill the air-time between ed to hang up the sneakers after 17 years in the symbol of both American power, fights. Association. Pippen will be remembered as the and the decline of the U.S. as a "A man whoain't lesser half in one of the best basketball tandem's boxing powerhouse at the ama- got no heart, you can't of all-time, and a player who has less jersey sales give him no heart." than Andre "Red Light" Racicot. I mean really, no That's what one owned a Pippen jersey. If you were a Bulls fan GOLDEN HAWK I've learned it was either Jordan or Bill Wennington. from Roy Jones Jr. JOHN CERUTTI (1960-2004) UPDATE As a player, and more recently a television ana- Week of to October 4-8, 2004 lyst, John Cerutti's career with the Blue Jays spanned over three decades. He was a man whose LAST WEEK'S RESULTS talent for the game was dwarfed only by his pas- 10/02/04 sion for it. Fans in Toronto have been through a lot M Football 44, Waterloo 3 over the past ten years, but nothing hurts as much as this. 10/03/04 W Lacrosse 7, McMaster 3 Cord Sports is looking for writers W Lacrosse 16, Guelph 8 trust your instincts, email: M Soccer 4, Windsor 1 W Soccer 0, Windsor 0 [email protected]

UPCOMING HOME GAMES Offensive star for the Hawks was division as they prepare to battle 10/07/04 Nicholls again, as she added four Brock on Friday afternoon. W Volleyball vs. St. FX more goals to give her a total of Melissa Paterak and Lindsay 7:30 PM, Athletic Complex six on the day. Heather McHardy Rogers scored tries in the losing Wingspan had a strong second game with effort. 10/08/04 three goals and four assists. The women sit atop the OUA stand- MOHER ATTEMPTING TO M Soccer vs. RMC, MAKE THE CUT on ings with a record of 5 - 0. 1:00PM, University Stadium Cord Sports' weekly update Wilfrid Laurier's own Riley HAWKS TRAMPLED BY Moher will on the CBC W Soccer vs. RMC, varsity at Laurier appear 'STANGS show Making the Cut this 3:00 PM, Stadium University The men's rugby team had a at LACROSSE HAWKS CONTINUE used a balanced attack to down Tuesday night 8:00pm. The rough day on Saturday as they rugged 10/10/04 TO DOMINATE - defensemen led the McMaster by a score of 7 3. lined up against the host Western M Bradley To say that the Golden Hawks Howard, Golden Hawks blueliners with Basketball vs. Erica Jenna McCoubrey Mustangs during their oppo- women's lacrosse team is on a and Leanne Nicholls had two four goals last season. NCAA Division 1 Team « tear be nent's Homecoming weekend. It 12:00noon would a gross understate- goals apiece, while veteran ment. The women travelled to was a game to forget for the Athletic Complex Kathleen McCrae netted one. Hawks, as they lost the match 55 the University of Guelph this in day, proceed- -compiled by Mark Hopkins Later the Laurier - 5. Laurier now sits at 1 - 4 on Women's past weekend and again put on a ed to trounce the host Guelph Hockey the the the season and is in a three-way show. In first game, ladies - Thanksgiving Classic: Gryphons by a score of 16 8. tie with Windsor and Guelph for last place in the GUA. Sat. Oct 9 1:30 PM Concordia vs U of T MAC WINS THIS TIME 4:30 PM McGill vs Laurier Laurier's women's rugby team travelled to Hamilton on Sun. Oct 10 Saturday afternoon to take on the 5:30 PM Laurier vs Concordia Marauders. 8:30 PM McMaster U of Tvs McGill Unfortunately for the team, they Mon. Oct 11 ended up on the wrong end of a 1:30 PM 3rd vs 4th 31-10 score to drop their season

4:30 PM Ist vs 2nd record to 0 - 3 - 1. Laurier is now in the basement of their WW w.l a urierathl etics.com www.laurierathletics.com www.laurierathletics.com 18Arts Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Smuggling reality in Music faculty with all that heroin dishes out nooner Caitlin Howlett exited the stage, except De'Ath who was then joined by Mason. film's And while the message, Taking a more impromptu that Maria Full of Grace sheds light "It's what's inside you approach to the concert, Mason counts," is multi-layered and Editor-in-Chief discussed his like for Hindemith, on the human face of the challenging, it is presented in a citing him as one of his favourite heavy-handed by very way the What I don't know about music composers. He explained how international narcotics trade direction, after being much set-up didn't matter today. "he [Hindemith] seems to cross subtly more earlier in the film and Presented by Laurier's several centuries" in his music Stefan Sereda drug carrier. Leaving behind her in the title. "drag" boyfriend Juan, Maria Faculty of Music this past stylings and how there exists a Still, the film's impact Tuesday, the latest installment of baroque influence. "His music, meets Felipe and Javier, who set entirely convincing, remains with Music at Noon again provided when you hear it, is kind of an her up on her dangerous trip to seemingly plenty of help from one with the pleasure of relaxing extension of all romantics," said Arts Editor New Jersey. The risks are myriad: accurate characters and terrific to the sounds of voice and instru- Mason, also noting a 20th centu- if the authorities catch Maria, she performers. Many the actors of ment combined. ry jazz influence. He finished by will face life imprisonment. If a little screen time, do plenty with While still a novice and trying saying bluntly, "we like playing pellet dissolves in her stomach, as Guerrero, who such Wilson to learn about pieces and move- this." she will die. The threat of death some much-needed brings ments, I relaxed into my seat While the oboe is a somewhat hangs over her family if even one humour to the film as Juan, the package of heroin is unaccounted beside the usher and reflected on unfamiliar sound to me, it was father of Maria's child. The the energy of sound as it rose interesting to watch Mason and for. haunting guitar score by As if the task was not compli- from the front of the stage to the the oboe become one, moving in Leonardo Heiblum and Jacobo very back, reverberating off the unison to the rise and fall of cated enough, Maria's friend even more Lieberman evokes walls and into my ears. notes. No wonder he liked play- Blanca agrees to smuggle drugs emotion from the audience, as as well, and the protagonist has to Mezzo soprano and faculty ing this. Paired with the piano, does Jim Denault's scenery, member, Kimberly Barber, sang this part of the concert was surely look out for her friend's concern which a fine balance discovers the works of Maurice Ravel and my favourite for it seemed to as well when they get lost in the between constrained and wide- U.S. Paul Hindemith to a full house in bring about hallucinations of open shots. the Maureen Forrester Recital musical notes dancing before my swallowing approxi- Writer-director Joshua Overall, Maria Full Grace of Hall in the John Aird Centre. eyes. Imaginemately sixty baggie-like pel- Marston, who culled the tale from is both compelling and convinc- Barber was accompanied by The final installment of lets of heroin, each weighing 10 numerous discussions with young ing, a movie that any filmgoer Amy Hamilton on flute during Hindemith came a bit late, as grams. Now imagine fitting them women in his Colombian town, looking to their eyes opened have the works of Ravel, along with many student members of the into your digestive system when crafts a compelling story by to human a different culture and Paul Pulford on cello and Leslie audience hightailed it out of the you already have a fetus in your weaving layers of complications see. The film's experience should De'Ath on piano. Oboist James recital hall, clearly late for class, nearby uterus to worry about. with internal and external con- refusal to tie up loose ends repre- For the protagonist in Maria flict. The result is a film that Mason, as introduced after With looks of guilt across their sents a larger refusal to compro- Chansons madecasses, played the faces, the students knew they Full of Grace, and the thousands moves along well, with intense the film's reality and let the mise works of Hindemith, accompa- were leaving something much of women who smuggle drugs in scenes to punctuate the drama. A leave the theatre igno- audience nied by De'Ath. They both greater than what they were head- their digestive systems each year, stand-out scene takes place when rant to the struggles people the returned to the stage along with ed toward. this premise is anything but Maria loses one pellet in the air- world over undertake so they can imaginary. A disturbing but hope- plane toilet. Will she eat the pel- Barber and Christine Vlajk on the Barber, her green iridescent improve their lives. across ful story about a 17-year-old let all over again? N0... n0... viola, for more Hindemith. scarf draped elegantly her Colombian girl who risks her life, please, n0... yep, she just ate it. Nahandove, a translated arms, continued with the accom- and her unborn child's, in an The direction compliments French poem, was certainly one paniment of not only the oboe, attempt to carry heroin into the scenes such as this, scenes that of my favourites if not for the but the viola too. In the third part, United States, the story is a pow- emphasize the lack of choice in music but for the English transla- a trio for the oboe, viola and erfully real tale about the meas- Maria's, and many young tion that accompanied the pro- cello, the viola took centre stage. ures taken when one strives for a women's lives. Filmed with a gram, including this stanza: Vlajk, standing up for this, better life. rough-grain film stock to give the "Your kisses penetrate to the showed a passion and vigor in her Maria, played by newcomer film a documentary feel, Maria depths of my soul; your caresses playing. Catalina Sandino Moreno, quits Full of Grace is a testament to burn all my senses; stop or i shall My lunch hour was again time her job in a flower-packaging the gritty realism of a mule's sit- die; can one die from sensual well spent, and I had satisfied my sweatshop when her boss refuses uation in the international drug pleasure, Nahandove?" appetite for sound. to let her go to the bathroom, trade. In the movement Aoua!, despite her morning-sickness. The film only falters when it Barber's abrupt voice cut the Burdened with the expenses of cannot keep up with its extremely silence after Nahandove, and taking care of her family and her edgy story. A lot of the suspense startled me and the poor man who own secret pregnancy, Maria then wears off midway through the Contributed Photo had snuck in late and was trying dares to improve her situation by film even though the complica- Maria bringing heroin through to slide into his seat undetected. becoming a 'mule' - a human tions in the plot keep stacking up. customs. Don't try this at home. Aoua!, a song of the invasion of native land, sounded dark and

menacing from Barber's mouth - almost conniving, even. Cliffnotes: Arts events from the Unlike Aoua!, II est Douxde se Coucher had more of a sedat- ing quality. There was a definite edge... ofKitchener-Waterloo sadness about this music, a help- lessness that was defined by the deep and dark sound of the Contributed Photo at a concert Digging for China in Jordan game will be on sale number The best since plucked cello. Mezzo soprano Kimberly Barber An archeological dig sponsored of local retailers, including all Jimmy Ray Applause arose and the artists sings while most of us are eating. by Laurier has uncovered textile Sobeys Grocery stores and most Concert 2 of the Laurier New buildings in Jordan, thereby Canadian Tire stores. The game Music Concert Series will fea- unearthing long-buried secrets of costs $39.99 plus taxes, and all ture music from Glenn Buhr, ancient Moabite culture. to support The Cynthia Johnston, ICE, Pete The proceeds will go * findings suggest that Moabite Centre in the Square's School Lamont, Michael McCleery and Poetry Contest! culture, which existed from 800- Program and Community Ticket Alfred Schnittke. The event will 600 BC, included an economy Program. Wilfrid Laurier take place in the Maureen Have your poetry B& partly on weaving produc- University on board, on j^jpßr based appears the Forrester Recital Hall arbitrarily judged by people HT 5 tion. The finding is of signifi- but unfortunately, the tree I let Wednesday, October 6 at Bpm. 1 J cance to the history of the my dog poop under does not. I Admission is free. at Student Publications and Moabites, since one to win a prize that our budget Jp§; only history get be the hat! *Jm text regarding these people The best concert since... I can afford! Kr% exists. Next time around, maybe An exhibit for the birds give up Laurier can help unearth the Tara Cooper's mixed print media Pianist Glenn Buhr will be play- Top five submissions * • jflfef hammer, Mjolnir, which gives exhibit, Forgotten Stories and ing his own music, as well as The Cord ' printed in I _ Thor his superpowers. Yeh, I'm a Other Bird-Like Movements, pieces by Charlie Parker, Don i" Ss Is i^S ' w\" nerd. opens in the Robert Langen Radman, Casey Sokol and Chick One submission per person! Gallery on Wednesday, October Corea during the next Music at J| Waterloopoly 6. A reception will be held from Noon concert. The performance The Centre in the Square has 2-3pm on the sixth. The exhibit takes place Tuesday, October 12, Send submissions to: unveiled a Monopoly-style board will run until October 30. I like at noon, in the Maureen Forrester [email protected] What's the deal game, with a game board that birds, unless they're like the ones Recital Hall. Admission is free. represents Kitchener-Waterloo in that Hitchcock movie about Deadline for submissions is with this businesses, landmarks, art com- the killer birds. I think its name November 24, 2004! Kitty-Cat! I! munities and attractions. The was Beverly Hills Cop. Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Arts' 19 A sun-shiny DVD on an otherwise spotty week arranges his script in such a way Paradoxically, the memories that Clementine to a childhood memo- Joel also recognizes that memo- that its complexities often parallel torture Joel are the same memo- ry with hopes of hiding her there, ries evoke experience, and by the characters themselves. His ries that he cherishes. As he and in turn, fooling the medical eliminating Clementine,, he is characters are usually loners, a lit- decides to undergo the procedure procedure. This scene underlines destroying human understanding tle weird (whatever that means), to have Clementine completely the notion that memories often and therefore, paralyzing human and yet at the same time, very eradicated from his head, he is resonate into each other and by growth, knowledge and wisdom. much human. The protagonist is relinquishing a part of his true self doing so, often change our per- Without memories, we would Joel, a slightly timorous individ- and as a result, changes his mind spective on life's tribulations in be lost in the present without any ual who falls in love with a wor- during the process. retrospect. concept of the future. Memories thy girl named Clementine. The Moreover, Joel's love for characterize humanity, but more love story that unwinds is ironic Clementine is omnipotent, which importantly, shape life. Without in mode: Joel discovers that he By eliminating is why he is able to channel her them, purpose would be an has been completely erased from Clementine, Joel is into memories that came before incomprehensible perception. ROB CROCCO Clementine's head via a medical destroying human her time. In the process, he real- Eternal Sunshine of the Staff Writer procedure that is actually brain izes that his memories invoke his Spotless Mind is a film that elu- damage. With feelings of betray- understanding and personality in ways he never cidates the power of memory and from one of film's al and disloyalty, he discovers he therefore, paralyzing imagined - they define human its evocative connection to real Spawnedmost innovative script writ- has been usurped for another man. human growth. emotion both past and present. life. ers, Eternal Sunshine of the Memories of his life with Spotless Mind is another bizarre Clementine have contaminated and fascinating filmic experience. his soul, and out of spite he signs The movie develops into a Written by the eccentric Charlie up for the procedure himself. beautiful love story that mainly Kaufman, whose previous credits Memories define who we are; takes place in Joel's head. As the include Being John Malkovich, they help to construct our person- medical procedure commences, Adaptation., and Confessions of alities in such a way that is unique Joel meets Clementine and a Dangerous Mind, Eternal from everyone else. In many together they run throughout his Sunshine lures the viewer into an extreme cases, however, memo- head attempting to hide her in imaginary world that only ries can, and do, have the power various unlikely places that the SEAGRAM HAUS Kaufman can produce. to taint one's self, as seen in medical procedure cannot detect. Often complex, Kaufman Eternal Sunshine. For instance, Joel brings Friday October 15.2004 7-1 am Saturday October 16, 2004 7-1 am Call 570-HANSFor Tickets Wilfrid Laurier University Stadium, Seagram Drive, Waterloo Guaranteed Admission until 7:3opm (ID Required)

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AUTUMN THEME Across: Down: 7. Icelandic prose narrative 1. the current season 8. published notice of death 2. sport not locked-out this Autumn 9. warm sweater material 3. twelve of one item 10. state of mental or physical inactivity 4. an upcoming test 11. place to offer sacrifices 5. what happy cats do 13. to compose and set down letters 6. type of forest lots in Canada 16. four- side dshaft of stone, usua ytape re d 11 12. Newfound I a n d a n d 17. Canadian Autumn Fruit 14. style of dance, diek-clack 19. turtle monster from Godzilla movie series 18. BI ac k .snake or B rite o m crown worn as a sign of royalty 21. 20. one of the seven deadly sins 23. shake or agitate violently 22.desire, in Greek 24. what blood can form Weekly Bad Drawing. by Pete Cram Answers to last week's puzzles!

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« All my new assistants for putting with m for Rent up my 'raining tardiness and surliness fully furnished room available for ' Single, ( 0n n rent 38 Ave. P ,UCt ' '^ ht 112 th6 September-May in University f f w- just Anl hL r 9 "? Vlnce apartment complex, seconds away from « t - o'niwf e 'P lr iS n ln Available for fall, winter or both terms. 9 ? ? by vt WLU. time anHand mBmaking my easy, April f Back Co-op students welcome' Price negotiable, job l° for s uff ° n McDicks and getting new 21 emaih [email protected] for more c f down| information Available immediately.immediatelv nms ' Leo for oading the entire second information. season Qf Chappe | |e s^ow MBE fQr (he chocolate treat, Cee-Lo and Pharrell, & 0 f„r rent popular Age Lil Jon and C * for rent in 5 bedroom house. 4or 8 °' ;un Room f V* , °< ,ck 'n9 me and n month lease starting January with or without fr t C ty ° 112 G° dh ° r k ' C 9 3SS ' furniture. High speed internet, washer, dryer, L S k f ° r r" ld and foosball. Call Amanda 519- P? ping ong9 bagels and not me, 7J?Artnur y attacking Craig, and Greg for the new mice (they're sweet) demand- r I | 1,1 B.UJ y I _J and Caitlin for facilitating the early leaving. Turkey and Cobourg, here I come. I'm out! -

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AT FED HALL FKOM UsS«i^ Tickets: $18/ $20 at door WLU students can sign themselves in! Wednesday October 6, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Entertainment 23 De-Lovely only worthy relative to megaplex crap

the diversion you're looking for. feel slighted since his work and tive device is lifted from Bob Irwin Winkler's De-Lovely philandering leave her on the Fosse's autobiographical All has already been savaged by sidelines much of the time. That Jazz (1979), in which the some critics and overpraised by As Cole and Linda, Kevin protagonist envisions himself at others, and I find that, as usual, I Kline and Ashley Judd are both the centre of an elaborate stage fall squarely in the middle. The very good, but the screenplay production during his dying film is not as terrible as some provides them with little more moments. Even though Fosse's would have us believe, but unfor- than a series of disconnected situ- film is steeped in his own narcis- tunately it is rather tame for a ations to inhabit: one moment sism, it is a much better musical bio-pic about legendary gay Linda is suggesting that they about theatre and is far more per- songwriter (indeed, move to so can suasive in its rendering of a Cole Porter America Cole Contributed Photo BRAD SKELTON Winkler himself made a better work on Broadway, the very next famous personality. Staff Writer film about Hollywood history moment (after an interlude set De-Lovely does not possess It's a De-Lovely day so Cole Porter (Kevin Kline) and his wife with Guilty by Suspicion). The within a musical montage) she's the sort of psychological com- Linda (Ashley Judd) go for a a lack of genuinely movie tries to chronicle so many unhappy because Cole's busy plexity that might have made it a stroll Withstimulating titles at the of the major events in Porter's schedule doesn't allow time for a more engrossing film, perhaps multiplexes right now, it might be life that it cannot give more than proper home life. because the innumerable show alternative to the boring non- a good time to take a look at what mere lip-service to most of them. The entire film is also punctu- tunes keep interrupting the events playing elsewhere. the Princess Cinema has brewing. The most important relation- ated by the annoying framing story's natural flow. Porter's Though I can't quite recommend One film playing this week has ship in Porter's life was with his device of an elderly Porter watch- music is great, and there is a lot De-Lovely, those of you inclined been getting a fair amount of crit- wife, Linda, whom he loved and ing his life in flashback while the of it in this movie, but the rest of toward musical bio-pics might ical attention and while the who, in turn, knew Cole was a Archangel Gabriel (at least I his life is given only the most enjoy it. Lets face it, pretty well movies on the independent scene homosexual. At first she doesn't think that's who it's intended to superficial treatment. anything at the Princess is likely haven't been terribly satisfying seem to mind Cole's sexual pro- be) prepares a stage production This is a movie that to be better than noisy garbage lately, De-Lovely could provide clivities, but she later comes to based on these events. This narra- might provide an interesting like Sky Captain.

Chassagne who share vocal all, but it most definitely does. duties, as well as playing at least "In The Backseat," sung qui- Ear three instruments between them. etly by Chassagne, is a perfect, Album opener peaceful closer after the intensity candy "Neighbourhood #1 (Tunnels)" is of the preceding songs. stunningly beautiful. When In trying to think of words influences on her sleeve through- passionate utterance, serving as Butler sings "If my parents are that describe this album, "majes- out, the most obvious being her icing on this truly flawless cake. crying, I'll build a tunnel from tic," "regal" and "divine" all attachment with Radiohead. - Rachel Burns my window to yours," it's hard come to mind, but none of them However, she does so with such a not to be jealous of whoever he's are quite right. tenderness and honesty, that you singing to. That's the beauty of Funeral can almost manage to look past The song "Wake Up" is one though. It's like nothing you've it. of those songs that looks terrible ever heard before. In a year of In comparison to her other on paper, but is, in reality, amaz- releases by some of my favourite records. Day One has a fullness ing. It starts as an uplifting musicians, these relative new- that compliments her classical gospel-ish type deal, and ends in comers have my vote for Album and organic song-writing. While a way that can only be described of the Year. other records found her and the as "bonpy." It shouldn't work at -Carly Beath piano at the forefront of the songs, this record is very much a mini symphony in itself, combin- ing sweeping orchestral backing and a full-band sound, with piano used only as a medium within several mediums. On top of this is her daring mix of old with new, / the best /ADULT ENTERTAINMENT example being the opera / I ' branch-out in "When Another ...where it's all about talent! Midnight.'" The melodies used are original and add colour throughout. The lyrics, while MONDAY AMATEUR STRIP NIGHT Sarah Slean's latest release, Day cryptic, are soft and beautiful. One, is a carefully constructed When she sings, "I am full of and genuine record. It is very love and consequence" in the Funeral is almost beyond Prize $1000 CASH! much a musical tapestry, jcombin- song "Vertigo," the emotion that words. Its hyper-originality lies ing several influences and genres works with it induces a form of in its gorgeous melodies, intri- EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT in a diverse and detailed way. understanding that goes above cately layered instruments, and There is a definite duality within and beyond stating things out- most of all, its ability to switch WET T-SHIRT CONTEST the actual record, one that is both right. between seemingly disparate delicate and powerful. Working The CD has an impeccable genres mid-song without sound- in conjunction with this is the professionalism throughout, with ing choppy or unnatural. $875 IN CASH PRIZES split between cleverly construct- everything balancing and sound- The band is comprised of six ed pop songs and off-centre, ing incredibly concise. Slean's members, including a violinist LADIES NEVER PAY A COVER hauntingly beautiful ballads. She voice is full of diction and can be and the husband-wife team of KING STREET NORTH WATERLOO AT NORTHFIELD definitely wears her musical both a whisper and an emotive, Win Butler and Regine Tel: 886-7565

I 'FREE RIDE'THURSD4 Y

TOMORROW NIGHT - OCT 7I|PW W/N A TR/P FO/? TWO TO MONTREAL FOR NEW YEAR S " COlim*/ Of THE TDMET NICHTCLUI ￿ • 24 Entertainment Wednesday October 6, 2004 The Cord Weekly Billy Talent impresses with live show While opening acts Death From Above 1979 and Metric outstay their welcome, headliners Billy Talent pre-empt any potential Billy No Talent jokes MIKE BROWN All along, my personal expe- nizable riff of "This Is How It Staff Writer rience of the band has been one Goes." They followed with of internal conflict. While I "River Below" and quickly had I attended Edgefest absolutely love the catchy guitar the fans whipped into an ener- Whenover the summer, Billy hooks and overall musical feel of getic frenzy outdone only by the Talent was introduced as "the the band, I find their lyrics can band themselves, particularly next big thing in rock music." I often be rather juvenile and teen- lead singer, Ben Kowalewicz. thought it was a bit much at the angsty. Thus, while I would They proceeded to play their time, but their enormous com- include myself among the masses debut self-titled album in its mercial success has only grown of Billy Talent fans, I can still entirety, as well as one new song, since; the airwaves are being empathize with those that find in a set that showed polish not bombarded with their third sin- their music difficult to listen to. commonly found in such a young gle, "River Below." However, having recently band. Throughout the night, 1 was seen the young Streetsville quar- impressed by the humility and tet's October 4 performance at extreme gratitude voiced by Club Denim in Guelph, my Kowalewicz, who obviously respect for the band has increased understands that the fans are his immensely. They combined a livelihood, and thus treats them stage presence well beyond their with the according respect. years and the type of energy that Contributed Photo only youth can harness to leave a My personal Canadian newcomers Billy Talent played Guelph on October 4th and chanting in adula- will return for an encore show on October 7tn. sold-out crowd experience of the tion. band's on-stage intensity; hope for the country's future and The evening began rather band has been one of Kowalewicz radiated emotion encouraged the young audience slowly, as both opening bands internal conflict. ranging from blood-curdling to do something about the played mediocre, drawn-out sets screams in "Line & Sinker" to his "fucked up world we're about to that left the crowd antsy for the Moreover, Kowalewicz sur- distinctive melodies in "Nothing inherit." headliners. Death From Above prised me with some intelligent To Lose". The set's completion Finally, they finished an out- 1979, a heavy drum/guitar duo, political commentary about the was not to be the end, though. standing show with the aptly cho- lacked polish, while Metric, a upcoming American election, and Returning to the cozy Club sen, "Prisoners of Today". As the much softer Toronto quartet, sim- had the crowd join in a collective Denim stage for an encore, Billy aggressive bridge, "This is our ply dragged their songs and set "Fuck you!" to George W. before Talent got the crowd jumping yet time!" rang throughout the inti- beyond the attention span of the breaking into his writhing stage Contributed Photo again with an extended version of mate venue, there was no denying audience. antics for "Voices Of Violence", a their first hit single, "Try that 2004 is in fact, Billy Talent's However, on the Metric singer Emily Haines is also that was all soon thinly veiled attack pro- Honesty". During a lengthy time in the spotlight. Love 'em or a member of Broken Social forgotten as Billy Talent took the war U.S. government. musical interlude, Kowalewicz hate 'em, their live act leaves Scene. stage and started into the recog- Overall, the set showcased the espoused the band's vision of nothing wanting. Stoner Rock 101: A blunt discussion ensues

influenced band that comes to Cord Entertainment presents the first of an occasional series offering mind is the aforementioned Queens of the Stone Age. Fronted an introduction to various genres of movies and music; this week by ex-Kyuss guitar player

- Homme, QOTSA have merged a breath of uh... fresh... air with stoner rock their stoner influence with a clas- little previous herbal enjoyment. Leaves Town, which are in my sic rock feeling which has fur- Nonetheless, we shall continue opinion the Old and New thered the legacy and reach of this blunt discussion by taking a Testament of stoner rock. this genre. Bringing in such ston- look at the defining stoner band, On these two releases are ers as Dave Grohl to record their Kyuss. Although there are such Kyuss classics as "One Inch opus, Songs For The Dead, numerous other talented stoner Man", "Hurricane Odyssey" and QOTSA have created some of the bands, I strongly feel that Kyuss the must download, most fierce and mesmerizing are the best of the bunch. Now "Catamaran". music to date. Such songs as First that we all agree, let's continue. Unfortunately for Kyuss fans, It Giveth and The Sky is Falling Originally composed of John they disbanded after a long feud have strong musical ties to Kyuss Garcia on vocals, Josh Homme between vocalist John Garcia and and other stoner bands. Although on Guitar, Scott Reeder on bass guitarist Josh Homme. The two nowhere near as creative as and Alfredo Hernandez on vowed to never play together Kyuss, QOTSA is a solid band Contributed Photo drums, Kyuss made a name for again and to this day they have that never fails to impress. Kyuss albums Welcome to Sky Valley and Muchas Gracias, a "best themselves playing desert shows not spoken. Fortunately for Josh Like the brain of someone on or'album. in their home town of California. Homme, he would continue the marijuana, stoner music is about Adapting their name from a creative genius of expanding - expanding ideas and DAVE RICCI use of marijuana and drugs was Kyuss through Dungeons and Dragons character, his widely expanding boundaries. This is the Cord Entertainment common, pushing the limits and known band, Queens Kyuss played their instruments of The Stone Age. Garcia would essence and idea of stoner rock. bingeing your way to death was out of bass guitar amps which on to front multiple bands Sure, drugs are a part of it, but the Beneath the tiresome Half Baked not the sole purpose of being in a go created a new sound that experi- such as Unida that depended true purpose of this genre is to jokes and empty bags of Chips- stoner rock band. textures and pass the groove, and sometimes Ahoy lies a rich culture that has Marijuana users are generally mented with deep heavily on the Kyuss sound. mesmerizing bass lines. With the Within a decade, one of the the joint, onto those who are open managed to create its own musi- fairly open to exploring new cre- release of their 1991 debut album defining stoner bands managed to minded enough to listen. cal sound which is appropriately ative depths, and it was in this Wretch, Kyuss single-handedly create four great only to called stoner rock, or psychedelic idea that the term stoner rock albums ushered in the era of stoner rock. disband a rock. originated. Although the most because of feud. Although stoner rock did not notorious stoner bands were Fortunately for Kyuss, the full emerge as a genre until the early users, their desire and purpose spectrum of their genius became 90s, bands throughout the 70s was for creating enjoyable and Stoner music is even more respected years after - they had broken this such as Black Sabbath were lay- funky music. The fact that these about expanding up. To day, there are legions of fans ing the foundation for a style of bands are unwilling to compro- expanding ideas and Kyuss music around who still hold the close to centred infectious mise their sound to fit into a expanding groove bass lines and pounding drums. mainstream mould is one thing their hearts and slightly black- boundaries. ened lungs. It was not until the rise of that is so appealing about this Even grunge that stoner rock found its genre. though many notable Even though the band stoner calling through such bands as At this moment you are either was bands have disbanded, signed to Elektra, they never tast- for Soundgarden, Fu Manchu and wanting to learn more about ston- except pioneers Monster ed the fruits of commercial suc- who Kyuss. The objective of these er rock or you have forgotten Magnet are still rocking out In 1994 and 1995, bands was to compose songs that about the previous contents of cess. Kyuss to this day, the sound has pro- were full of thick and managed to release two incredi- gressed and now a part of guitars this article. If you find yourself is Contributed Photo ble albums, to soaring vocals that pushed the choosing the latter, chances are Welcome Sky mainstream rock. The most obvi- limits of creativity. Although the Valley and And The Circus ous mainstream stoner rock- Stoner rock god Josh Homme you are high or burnt out from a throws half-hearted devil horns.