“A Spectrum of Red Roses” This is a work of fiction. The events and characters described here in are imaginary and are not intended to refer to specific places or living persons. The oponions expressed in this manuscript are solely the options of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book. A Spectrum of Red Roses All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2017 Chief Editor: Wedhowerti S.Pd., M.Hum. Editors: Antonius, Arif Budiman, Clara Clarissa Poppy Mahendra, Odelia Yulita, and Gabriela Y. R. Aritonang Cover Designers: Binsar Maranata Manurung, Marcellinus Yoga Maheswara and Nayenggita Falindao Paul Layout: Chelsea Thessalonika R, Lautania Theora This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means,including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. ISBN: PUBLISHED BY FAKULTAS SASTRA UNIVERSITAS SANATA DHARMA YOGYAKARTA, INDONESIA 1 Preface Spectrum is a symbolism of life. Life is filled with gradation of colors, from dark to bright. It reflects all stages of emotions while perceiving life. Red roses portray two opposite meanings; love and death. Love is not always associated with a frontal romanticism but it could be sympathy and even a glance. Death is not always the death of someone but it can be the death of hope and even of illusion. Through our masterpiece A Spectrum of Red Roses all authors express their thoughts that life is like a juke box, full of surprises. If life was a surface, it will be filled with holes and hills. Overall life is precious if we have a precious way to live it. We would like to thank heaps our beloved, coolest lecturer who has guided us to reveal our own choice of colors through this book. 2 Content Page Cover .................................................................................................. i Preface ............................................................................................... ii Content Page .................................................................................... iii A Poem of Mine ............................................................................ 6 Awake .......................................................................................... 12 If Only ......................................................................................... 18 The Shadow ................................................................................. 24 Youniverse (When the Universe Centered All Around You) ..... 28 // A Flower on the Dove ................................................................. 33 A Lie ............................................................................................ 38 I’m Sorry ..................................................................................... 46 The Forgotten Memories ............................................................. 51 The Heart of a Friend .................................................................. 61 The Reunion ................................................................................ 65 The Wedding Day ....................................................................... 68 3 Virtual Reality ............................................................................. 73 // Aren’t You Happy That You Were Born? .................................. 79 Born to Kill ................................................................................. 84 Darkness ...................................................................................... 88 Fascination ................................................................................. 94 Inescapable ................................................................................. 99 Katsuragi .................................................................................. 105 Lisbeth ...................................................................................... 108 Partly Tamed, Slightly Damaged .............................................. 112 She’s the Devil .......................................................................... 117 Suicide Club .............................................................................. 123 The Dark Truth .......................................................................... 129 The Executioner ........................................................................ 134 The Red Ribbon ........................................................................ 140 Unexpected Days ....................................................................... 144 Watching My Friend ................................................................. 150 4 5 A Poem of Mine Clara Carissa Poppy Mahendra Word by word making a rhyme Note and tone are now a song A smile was seen A drop of tear makes all gone … This is a poem of mine. I am not telling you my story. I am telling you how I feel. I don’t want you to care. I am hoping you to listen. I’m letting you know what my heart and mind want to say. … I used to be a part of a big stage. I loved to read others’ poems out loud. I loved to play different roles. I have been a grumpy grey- haired lady. I have also been a cheerful girl who liked to sing. I was a role-player. I played well in every stage. All the beautiful flowers I have got, all kind of applauses I have heard, those are the 6 things I miss. … I lived in the glamorous stage and had no idea that I would have to leave. I breathed with all the rhythm of it. But now… … I remember that I used to admire a couple who danced and sang with the music they made. They introduced themselves as Indonesian in other countries. I took all their songs as my motivations. Endah and Rhesa. When she sang all love songs within the melody of her husband’s guitar, I would sing along and be amazingly happy. Oh, that band. I remember one more favorite musician of mine. They are not Indonesian though. Two words. Dream Theater. When they played their music, they played my emotion. Feeling amazed, motivated, happy, and yet afraid when “Spirit Carries On”” was playing. I loved it. I used to enjoy all those beautiful melody playing in my ear, in my mind, in my heart. Those could make me smile. It felt like it was yesterday that I smiled listening to that music. Now, all happy songs feel really mellow and pathetic. I remember why I became like this, but please I still wanted to have some nostalgic memories of the great past life. 7 Once, I wrote a poem. A senior in my university then read it. That was the beginning of me living as an art lover. I loved poems. I wrote many stories every night. Then I crawled to be recognized. I enrolled my poems to countless online competitions. I also sent them to every newspaper and magazine I knew. Then, I joined a community which had the same taste of art. It was a theater in my city. From then, I lived a more colorful life. I loved it. I enjoyed it. I was there for more than ten years. It was not a short time yet I could not speak of myself as a master in theatrical world yet. I left two years ago. I started losing my life, losing myself. I enjoyed each second of my life. I built my life with love and faith. In weeks, it got broken, not yet gone, but hope really got so thin. Yesterday was not this cold. There was always him who did not let me get wet in the heavy rain. Him. A man scarifying everything for me, telling me good morning, closing my day with good night, there was that man. I could not even say his name again. He was just to good to be remembered. He left in silence. He left me with no good bye and I could not even blame him. I missed him. You are the angel of my life and I am blessed to have you. That 8 was what he said every day since we got married. It was a rainy Friday. He just sent me a text. He said he was on the way from his office. We planned to go to hospital for routine check up. Then, he called. I thought he would ask if I wanted a cup of coffee from our favorite coffee shop. But it was not his voice. A woman. The woman told me that this man got into an accident. He left me when he wanted to see me. He died when I started to have hope in life. … Jesus, are you really that mean? When you took him back to your home, I could not blame you, could I? I prayed that You took good care of him. … “Good morning, Nana,” a man entered my room and greeted me. “Good Morning, Doctor,” I replied. “How are you today?” He just did his routine for two years. “Could I be worse?” I tried my best to smile in sarcastic way. I spent all the money I have left in this hospital. My left eye saw nothing. My right eyesight was blurry. I got weaker every day. “Are you ready? You will have a big operation. A big day! You will see all the beauty again,” he smiled. 9 I was confused. Should I shout and say thank you? Should I be happy? Should I be grateful? I should, but I did not. I left most of my hope when I was diagnosed having this tumor. I lost all my hope when Angga left me. … Hope was here People say it is always here Dream was here People say it will be here I want to hope I want to dream I want to see me hoping and dreaming See? All black I see all black. When the light is on I see all black … 10 In this room I leave all my hope, I leave my entire dream. Surgery Room. Perhaps, other girls also left their hopes and their dreams here. I depart. I will meet the love