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THEgateway visit us at gtwy.ca Meeting UAlberta Wednesday, March 16, 2016 Alex Makepeace Volume 106 Issue No. 29 Science IV Published since November 21, 1910 Circulation 5,000 ISSN 0845-356X Suite 3-04 Students’ Union Building University of Alberta Edmonton, Alberta T6G 2J7 Telephone 780.492.5168 Fax 780.492.6665 Ad Inquiries 780.492.6669 Email [email protected] editorial staff editor-in-chief Cam “AE” Lewis [email protected] | 492.5168 managing editor Kieran Chrysler [email protected] online editor Kevin Schonk [email protected] news editor Richard Catangay-Liew [email protected] opinion editor Josh Grescher [email protected] arts & culture editor Jon [email protected] sports editor CMYK [email protected] multimedia editor Oumar Yaye [email protected] photo editor Christine Varvis [email protected] design & production editor Adaire Beatty [email protected] Staff Reporter Mitchell Sorenson [email protected]

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News Editor Email Richard Catangay-Liew [email protected]

Phone Twitter 780.492.5168 @RichardCLiew Volunteer News News meetings every Monday at 3pm in SUB 3-04 Congestion in Computing Science Peak enrolment in Computing Science causing delays in graduation, inability to register in prerequisite courses

Jamie Sarkonak I don’t feel good because I should be Staff Reporter @Swagonak able to support my students.” Fourth-year computing science Christopher Saunders hopes to go student Jordan Vogel was hoping to into game design after he gradu- take CMPUT 301 and COMPUT 291 ates. As a computing science stu- this year, but was unable to enroll. dent, enrolling in classes has been Vogel would spend his day at the “tight.” Last semester, he couldn’t computer and constantly refreshing even get into his database manage- his Bear Tracks, hoping the “little yel- ment course. Hoping a space would low diamond would turn into a green open up, Saunders showed up on circle.” It never changed. Refreshing the first day. Others had the same the page was the only tip his academ- idea — with around 90 spaces in the ic adviser could give. class, about 130 hopeful students There were more people on the showed up. wait list than in the class, Vogel said. “By the time class started there Not getting into the lower-level pre- were people sitting in the aisles requisites pushes back graduation. and lined up against the back wall,” “It’s like not being able to get into Saunders said. a grammar class if you’re doing The total amount of students on linguistics,” Vogel said. “So you’re wait lists for computing science studying how languages work but courses was the more than 900 this you can’t learn about the syntax.” fall. Students are facing delayed The future of Vogel’s degree is graduation dates because they can’t difficult to predict and plan. He’s get into required courses, or prereq- hoping to graduate in a year, but if uisites for required courses. There’s he continues to have problems with only one piece of advice for those registration, he may be in university waiting: “Refresh Bear Tracks.” A for two more years. frustrated Saunders said he might “If you fail a class, or you drop a not graduate on time if he can’t get class, it’s upsetting but it was your into the right courses. doing,” Vogel said. “When it’s out The recent shortage of seats and Squeezed for seats Students face difficulties in registering for computing science courses. Alex Cook of your control if you get into a class delays in graduation in the Depart- or not, you’re just seeing where the ment of Computing Science is the five years. Their response has been number of faculty members has and Database Management), which wind takes you.” result of a rising interest in the de- to make 2016 computing science shrunken from high 40s to high has usually taken roughly 120 stu- Part of the department’s solution partment. Several years ago, there applicants take a general year of 30s. With fewer faculty members, dents divided into two 60-student has been to give honours and spe- was no such thing as an endless science rather than allowing direct the department has combined class sections. This year, only one section cialization science students prior- wait list. But computing science en- entry from high school. Lu doesn’t sections or and hire sessionals to held all 120 students. That change ity in registering for courses, as they rolment is at a peak right now, with foresee the U of A taking a similar teach 15 to 20 courses, depending noticeably affects the classroom ex- have stricter degree requirements. a total of more than 4,500 students approach as UBC, but there is still on budgeting. There isn’t money perience, and increases the difficul- But this still squeezes out general in classes, which is up from 3,300 the challenge of finding enough re- to hire more faculty, or build more ty for instructors to facilitate active science students, which will hope- in 2011, Paul Lu, Associate Dean of sources to teach students. classroom space. learning in during class time. fully be addressed in the future, Lu Computing Science said. Simulta- said. Another solution to restricted neously, the amount of teaching “I used to know students in my class ... I don’t feel good because I should be space might be to offer senior-lever staff has decreased. able to support my students.” – Davood Rafiei, CMPUT 291 instructor computing science courses in the “Our discipline goes through Spring and Summer terms, though these cycles,” Lu said. “There’s 15- “It’s good to be popular,” Lu Budget constraints leave Lu, the Larger course sizes also make it the thought is still preliminary, Paul to 20-year-long cycles, where at said. “But it’s nicer to be popular Department of Computing Science difficult for instructors to reach out Lu said. our peak we’ve got people beating when it’s easy to have the resources and the Faulty of Science “few levers to struggling students unless they “On one hand, I’m extremely sym- down our doors to get into our and the people to teach (all of the to pull.” come to office hours, which is very pathetic to the students who can’t programs.” students.)” “The bottom line is if we’re go- uncommon, CMPUT 291 instructor get into a class,” Lu said. The University of British Colum- The Department of Computing ing to have more students, we need Davood Rafiei said. “But on the other hand, we’re teach- bia is experiencing a similar surge in Science lost three faculty members more resources,” Lu said. “I used to know students in my ing quite a bit more students with computing science enrolment, with with the U of A’s voluntary sever- Consolidated courses include class,” Rafiei said. “As the class size fewer people and the same physical enrolment doubling over the past ance program in 2013. Overall, the CMPUT 291 (Introduction to File gets bigger, I know less students … space in terms of classrooms.” Draft of 10-year Institutional Strategic Plan introduced to campus

Jamie Sarkonak ties and teaching quality. Rahman recruitment. It also includes a “Accountability is huge,” Rah- support. Staff Reporter @Swagonak didn’t agree with the plan’s men- goal of implementing an equity man said. “I hope that we do check “It’s not just about getting people tion of “supporting teaching excel- process for faculties to include in, not just senior administration in the door and getting them out Long-term plans for students and lence in high-demand programs.” women, visible minorities, sexual but the entire campus community, of the door,” Cobb said. “It’s about faculty were outlined in the first Instead, support should be offered and gender minorities, people and see how progress is going from supporting them while they’re draft of the University of Alberta’s to all programs, he said. with disabilities and Indigenous year to year.” here.” Institutional Strategic Plan (ISP). A The first draft of the ISP included peoples. At Monday’s town hall, vice- Turpin responded that the draft’s town hall was held hours after the seven of the SU’s ten recommenda- The ISP draft also outlines the provost and chief librarian Gerald intention was to reduce redundan- draft’s Monday morning release, tions in January. Important points need for a response to the Truth Beasley brought up the absence of cy — while student retention isn’t where faculty and staff shared com- that weren’t included in the draft and Reconciliation Commission of timelines in the ISP draft. as clearly stated as student recruit- ments and concerns. included the emphasis on cost of Canada. Subsequent goals include “There’s very little in it that ment, themes of student retention The ISP draft begins with a focus education, which the SU has been increasing learning opportunities wouldn’t be true for all times at can be found throughout the plan, on diverse student recruitment, and trying to mitigate with advocating about reconciliation, constructing the U of A,” Beasley said. “That’s a he said. lists objectives in attracting “top In- for lower-cost resources, such as a building for Indigenous culture great thing but it creates the chal- Overall, Turpin thought the digenous students” and “well-qual- open educational resources. The and evaluating the U of A’s recon- lenge of urgency and timeliness, first draft of the ISP reception was ified international students.” draft also didn’t include a goal for ciliation efforts on a regular basis. and prioritization as well.” positive. President-elect and current Vice- improving consultation with stu- Rahman hopes that the universi- Turpin said the ISP draft’s goal “University presidents often joke President (Academic) of the Stu- dents, which is important in deter- ty will incorporate an annual evalu- for “the next ten years” is what sets that there are two kinds of institu- dents’ Union Fahim Rahman said mining residence meal plans and ative method to make sure the ISP the time framework for the plan. tional strategic plans,” Turpin said. the first draft of the ISP has a lot of improving teaching quality, Rah- as a whole is correctly guiding the Jason Cobb from the Office of the “There are those that disappoint “great content for students,” such man said. university over the next ten years, Dean of Students said that though and those that enrage. From what as of increasing student financial The plan mentions francophone which would ensure resources are the plan focuses on recruiting I’ve heard, people are pretty posi- support, mental heath support, goals regarding French language adequately used to achieve what students, but there should also be tive about what they’re seen and experiential learning opportuni- accessibility and diverse student the ISP aims to accomplish. a focus on retention and student there hasn’t been any over-anger.” news 4 thegateway www.gtwy.ca March 16, 2016 Research sends shockwaves through spine care Mitchell Sorensen Staff Reporter @mitchdsorensen

With non-urgent magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) wait times hovering around 30 weeks in Alberta, a team of researchers at the University of Alberta are innovating to take people out of the line. Greg Kawchuk, professor of Physi- cal Therapy at the Faculty of Rehabili- tation Medicine, has been leading a team to use vibration imaging tech- nology when assessing lower back pain in patients. Similar to the seismic imaging used in the petrochemical industry to detect pockets of oil deep below ground, a study has shown the new vibration imaging technology to be capable of pinpointing issues in the spine. “For centuries, clinicians of all types have used their hands (to diag- nose back pain), but there are limits to that,” Kawchuk said. “(There are many) heart problems that you can hear with your ear, but at some point, a stethoscope is better.” Composed of an electrodynamic shaker that sends vibrations to the Good vibrations A U of A research team has developed vibrational imaging technology to decode back pain. Mitch Sorensen spine and an ultrasound scanner that captures real-time images,imaging allow researchers to detect problems Kawchuk said that because Denmark Kawchuk said. “With that, we can go to install, Schuler said the VibeDX technicians can examine how the that would not appear in a static MRI. maintains the world’s largest twin out and try to narrow down which vi- would cost approximately ten per spine is reacting to movement. Ir- Au added that since the ultrasound database, they were ideal to assist in brations mean what.” cent as much as a traditional MRI. regularities in that movement can does not utilize the radiation associ- the twin study component of the re- With the device holding significant The technology can help reduce mean something is wrong with the ated with x-rays and CT scans, the search. potential, an Edmonton company queues not only for MRI imaging, lower back. vibration imaging is less impactful on Kawchuk said the technology took the opportunity to bring the but surgery as well. Schuler said that The project’s lead engineer, the patient. gave similar readouts on twins with vibration technology to market. Li- there is a “high degree of art form” Anthony Au, compared the traditional After proving on cadavers that similar spinal health history, and ap- censed from Kawchuk and branded as involved when a physician slates MRI to fixing a car by looking at the postmortem surgical alterations propriately different readings when VibeDX, a local tech startup company someone for surgery. With the more engine, and vibration imaging with could be consistently detected by the histories were different. If one twin called TEC Edmonton is assisting in detailed image given by VibeDX, sur- running diagnostics on the vehicle. vibration imaging, they moved on to sustained a spinal injury, for example, getting the project off the ground. geons are able to choose candidates Where an MRI can diagnose obvious studying identical twins. Studying the machine would provide a differ- For Cameron Schuler, President and for procedures more accurately. issues such as fractures in vertebrae, identical twins allowed the research- ent readout compared to the unin- CEO of VibeDX, the advantages of the Schuler said VibeDX will allow sur- the vibration allows technicians to ers to effectively eliminate genetics jured twin. technology were obvious in a busi- geons to more accurately diagnose examine sources of pain which are as something that would skew the “That gave us a proof of concept, ness sense. spinal problems, and thereby elimi- not so clear. Imaging the spine while data. Developed in partnership with that these vibration signals imprint With MRI suites costing anywhere nate many patients from surgery it is moves with the vibration can the University of Southern Denmark, a lot of information about the spine,” from three to five million dollars waitlists.

WHAT’S ON AT UALBERTA?

Traditions Historical developments of the modern wind band from the Renaissance to Electronica. Performed by the Symphonic Wind Ensemble & Concert Band. Conductors: Angela Schroeder and Glenn Skelton Sunday, Mar 20 @ 3 pm Winspear Centre

U of A Studio Theatre: The Kaufman Kabaret by Hannah Moscovitch World premiere New play borne of the history of birth control in Canada. Mar 24 - Apr 2 @ 7:30 pm $5 preview Wed, Mar 23 @ 7:30 pm Opening night Thurs, Mar 24 @ 7:30 pm No performance Sun, Mar 27 2 for 1 Mon, Mar 28 @ 7:30 pm Matinee Thurs, Mar 31 @ 12:30 pm Timms Centre for the Arts

U of A Symphony Orchestra: Panta Rei USO tackles compositions by western music’s most troubled minds: Wagner’s Tannhäuser Overture, Larsson’s Saxophone Concerto. Shostakovich’s Symphony No. 5 Sunday, Apr 3 @ 3 pm Winspear Centre

ualberta.ca/artshows thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 news 5 Science offering new InSciTEs into first-year experience

Jamie Sarkonak prompted the Faculty of Science to met with the program. While he en- Staff reporter @swagonak create InSciTE as the successor to joyed his experience, other students Science 100, which was the faculty’s faced challenges if they couldn’t Certain first-year science students previous first-year cohort learning complete a course, as they were in- will soon be able to 3D-print and approach. Some students found Sci- tegrated into one program, Cupido tackle global climate change in a ence 100 to be too rigid — it deter- said. new project-based interdisciplinary mined the entire course load of its The idea with InSciTE is to shift pilot program for the 2016-17 year. first years and restricted some from science education towards flexible, The Faculty of Science’s new first- taking desired electives, InSciTE discovery-based learning, Inter- year cohort program, InSciTE (In- consultant Collin Cupido said. The disciplinary Science Academic Co- terdisciplinary Science Threshold program also was limited to 40 stu- ordinator Michelle Spila said. The Experience) will integrate material dents, which wasn’t sustainable, he program will use projects and labs from first-year courses into two in- added. to show students techniques they terdisciplinary streams: life scienc- can use to problem solve and allow es and physical sciences. students to ultimately choose what All InSciTE students will take “Typically chemistry methods they wish to use. a special section of introductory labs are ‘Step one, do “Typically chemistry labs are chemistry, calculus and a new proj- ‘Step one, do this; step two, do this; ect-based course. Calculus courses this; step two, do this ... step three do this,’ and don’t hurt in each stream will integrate ideas and don’t hurt yourself in yourself in the process,” Spila said. from biological sciences or the phys- the process. What we’re “What we’re doing is flipping that.” ical sciences. The program covers InSciTE projects will range from 15 of a full course load’s 30 credits, doing is flipping that.” small-scale, such as 3D printing, meaning students are free to choose Michelle SpilA to global in size, such as climate the half of their remaining courses. INTERDISCIPLINARY SCIENCE ACADEMIC COORDINATOR change. Students will be given the By the end of their first year, stu- flexibility to choose projects and dents will have ideally built soft “While the (learning) environ- question topics interest them, with skills such as critical thinking, prob- ment was great, you couldn’t jus- the intention of creating “scientific lem-solving, communication and tify it in the state of the university,” citizens,” Spila said. Other projects collaboration. Program success will Cupido, a U of A physics graduates are currently in development. be measured with entry and exit said. High school students meeting surveys from students and instruc- Cupido said he valued the cohort general science prerequisites can tors. style of Science 100, and still speaks now apply to join InSciTE, which The need for increased flexibility with instructors and students he has room for 200 students. Interdisciplinary Insight InSciTE will offer integrated math courses. Willow austin

Painting for pride Pride Week finale brings artists together under the roof of Dewey’s on Saturday, March 15. RICHARD CATANGAY-LIEW Campus art night concludes Pride Week

Eryn Pinksen day, March 12, and brought Pride Services equity advisor Chris News staff @Erynpinksen Week to a close with art, poetry Daberer said. and musical performances from “We wanted people to show up, The nude model portrait of creat- the campus community. have some fun, have some free ed in Elysia Tegart’s final art class food, mingle, and then have a of her degree was one of many ar- couple opportunities to express tistic works on display at the Pride “Inclusivity has been a themselves,” Daberer said. “This Art Night. Having previously been huge focus these last few is why we have the paper so that involved in queer art nights, Tegart people can cut it out and create said she’s happy to see the event years.” on. We have the rainbow magnetic develop now that U of A Pride Elysia Tegart poetry and also we have one station Week hosts one on campus. pride art night artist set up where people can just slam “(Inclusivity) has been a huge fo- poem it up.” cus these last few years and I feel Besides viewing the displays, Vice-President (Student Life)- like it’s really starting to pay off,” the 150 attendees could engage elect Francesca El Ghossein was Tegart said. “Making sure to reach their own artistic side with paper, drawing at the interactive art out hands to other groups on cam- markers and a magnetic rainbow tables along with several other ERYN PINKSEN pus is expanding the general com- poetry board. The idea with guests. Sketching floral patterns “I think there’s a lot of folks these different communities munity here.” Pride Art Night was to create an on her colored paper, El Ghossein from different communities on together to show their support The first on-campus Pride Art interactive art experience, Institute said she was positively surprised campus,” El Ghossein said. “I’m for the LGTBQ communities on Night took over Dewey’s on Satur- for Sexual Minority Studies and by the turnout. glad to see that this event brought campus.” news 6 thegateway www.gtwy.ca March 16, 2016 Education to host fourth Maker Day conference Richard Liew Today, Fricker is a lead instructor Some booths test students, such as News editor @Richardcliew for EDU 210 (Introduction to Educa- a station that will utilize littleBits, tional Technology), while Starchuck electronic building blocks that snap Colleen Starchuk remembers con- is a learning consultant in technol- together with magnets and create structing instructional poster ogy and education in the University circuit boards to stimulate inven- boards in a drab basement lab of Alberta’s Faculty of Education. tion-based learning and problem during her Bachelor of Education Starchuck and Fricker both grad- solving. Makey Makey, a product degree in the early 90s. Education uated from the U of A’s education which allows its users to create a students would assemble and lami- program in 1990 and 1994, respec- piano out of bananas or play Super nate the teaching materials, which tively, and judging by their past ex- Mario with Play-Doh, also tests the were a tool to utilize for their practi- periences, they both know the im- creativity and inventive processes cum or job as a K-12 teacher. portance of staying up to date when of students. Sherri Fricker recalled learning it comes to teaching technologies The experience is much better how to use Microsoft QuickBASIC, a and trends. than a classroom, former EDU210 computer program which converts Once they started hearing about student Arpita Jacob said. code into programming language. the Maker Movement, a worldwide “It helped by furthering our Neither bothered using those technological and creative learn- knowledge of useful technological methods in the classroom. ing campaign which introduces in- tools to add to our teacher tool kit,” Poster boards were too hard, and novative ways of teaching into the Jacob said of educational technol- required too much work and prepa- classroom, they decided to bring it ogy conference. “Maker Day was ration for Starchuk. Meanwhile, to the U of A. extremely effective in bridging the when Fricker stepped into her job 3D printing, robotics, and various gap of lost communication between as a teacher, she found out that her “smart materials” will be showcased students and teachers.” school was using the newer Hyper- at the U of A’s fourth Maker Day As Starchuk and Fricker prepare studio program instead, a multi- conference since 2014, which aims for Maker Day on March 22, 2016, media tool that combined varied to bring “creativity into the class- they agreed that the medium in media, which was to be used as an room” by inviting K-12 teachers and conveying teaching methods to educational tool. students to the university. Speakers university and K-12 students is The educational methods Fric- and university students will put ex- more memorable than construct- ker and Starchuck learned while periential learning and concepts of ing poster boards and out-of-date in university had become, to put it makerspaces on display in an effort computer programming they were succinctly, outdated. to prepare and adapt to advances in accustomed to years ago. “Had we had the opportunity to educational technology. “It’s the buzz of the day that I look at the technologies at the time One booth will be showcasing love,” Starchuck said in anticipa- which were cutting edge, it would’ve how to create wearable technology tion of Maker Day. put us in a different place,” Fricker using knitting tools, while another “The excitement it creates with said. will show educators how to use dif- the students and the discussions 25 years later, the Bachelor of Ed- ferent technologies to help blind that people have in education that Make something Some of the tech available at Maker Day 2016 (March 22). Christina Varvis ucation degree is much different. students navigate a classroom. really sticks out.” University of Manitoba SU president accused of misusing funds

Craig Adolphe & Garett Williams access to his UMSU credit card The Manitoban University of Manitoba to the union’s general manager and have his authority to use the Winnipeg, MAN — A meeting of card revoked. Kopp agreed that he University of Manitoba Students’ shouldn’t have access to the card Union council was thrown into for the duration of the audit. disarray on March 10 when three UMSU vice-president internal successive emergency motions Zachary LeClerc – the only other were presented to council alleging executive with access to an of- fraudulent financial activity and ficial UMSU credit card – made a misuse of funds by UMSU Presi- friendly amendment to have his dent Jeremiah Kopp. own access to his card frozen as The motions were presented well, and the amended motion after members on the council’s fi- was passed by council. nance committee raised red flags A question period was called earlier in the week week about un- after all three emergency mo- approved expenses to the union, tions were passed by council, in and two committee members – which Morrison, Batchelor, and UMSU Science Students’ Associa- Kopp were given opportunities to tion representative Karen Batch- respond to questions about the elor and Vice-President (Student statements and expenses. Services) Jessica Morrison – re- Kopp said he wouldn’t be able to viewed statements for a UMSU provide answers on every budget credit card belonging to Kopp. line on the spot but claimed all ex- The first motion proposed that penses were legitimate and were credit card statements for the conducted through the proper UMSU executive Visa accounts channels, which would be shown from April 2015 to January 2016 be by the audit. immediately reviewed by UMSU “I’m confident that a forensic council during open session. audit ordered by UMSU council Council voted yes, and boxes of will demonstrate that these alle- financial statements were opened gations are baseless,” he said. and distributed to the roughly 80 “The reality is I have a lot of students in attendance. meetings with students, a lot of The statements showed nearly them occur over lunch and there’s $29,000 in expenses to one card good reason for that. It’s standard over the span of 10 months. practice.” With the monthly statements “It’s what’s been done at the or- was a breakdown of nearly ganization for many, many years $14,000 in allegedly unapproved and it’s all budgeted in our an- expenses. The total included nual UMSU-approved budget and nearly $4,000 for furniture in the UMSU council is aware that there Alleged expenses Jeremiah Kopp (above) is being accused of misusing $29,000 from the SU credit card. Craig Adolphe — The MANITOBAN president’s office, dozens of meals are budget lines for that pur- and meal items attributed to ex- pose.” slate together in the 2015 UMSU Alleged unnapproved expenses - $1,095 Campus bar ecutive meetings, community “Often times there’s staff appre- general election but had a falling - $5 Impark issues, sponsorships and a $900 ciation events,” he added. out and Kopp said at the meeting - $900 Cash advance - $68 Sushi cash withdrawal in August. “Often times, a staff member the two were involved in media- - $2,435 President’s office furni- -$98 Earls After a brief review of the state- might be having a bad day, so I’ll tion. ture -$5 Starbucks ments by council, a second emer- take them to lunch to keep morale “This is a politically motivated - $1,455 President’s office furniture gency motion was tabled and up.” attack,” he said. - $855 Two office chairs For a full list of Jeremiah Kopp’s passed, calling on the union to en- Kopp charged that Morrison, “It was meant to throw mud at - $270 Textbooks alleged unapproved expenses and gage in a forensic audit of UMSU who resigned her position from the wall and a complete forensic - $154 Pizza full coverage of this ongoing inves- finances for the 2015-16 year-to- UMSU council at the same meet- audit will, I’m confident, clear my - $189 Shawarma tigation, visit The Manitoban, the date. ing, brought forward the expense name and will reveal this for what - $81 Limosine University of Manitoba’s official A third and final emergency claims in an effort to politically it is.” - $82 East India Company student newspaper at www.the- motion for Kopp to turn over slander him. The two ran on a Morrison declined to comment. - $629 Joey Restaurants manitoban.com thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 advertisement 7

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Opinion Editor Email Joshu Greschner [email protected]

Phone Twitter 780.492.5168 @joshgreschner Volunteer Opinion Opinion meetings every Wednesday at 2pm in SUB 3-04

editorial comment Enrolment based on equity often falls short

There’s plenty of conversation about equity these days but quite a bit less action to back it all up. When schools adopt whichever diversity policy, they usually receive widespread media attention. For example, Ontario recently took measures to make education free for many families by 2017/2018. The University of Toronto is introducing a census next year for race, ethnicity, gender iden- tity, sexual identity, and religion of the student body — that’s to scan for inequities. The University of Manitoba’s Faculty of Education has recently decided to reserve 45 per cent of its seats up from ten per cent for “diversity students.” Acknowledging demographic imbalances and understanding why they exist is step one. But setting aside seats for people of this or that group in the name of equity doesn’t exactly work out. Those demographic imbalances exist because of disadvantages certain groups face when it comes to post- secondary. I mean, it’s certainly not fair that my friend, let’s call her Nicky, cannot seriously envision a future in post-secondary. In an ideal world, she’d be in university with me, but she has to work to provide for her grandmother. Leaving for school would mean leaving her grandmother alone, which is risky (Nicky’s mother might steal from the grandmother, who is too old to defend herself.) Her band — First Nations band, not musical band — said they would cover her tuition if she did go to university, but they said the same thing about her braces. They never paid for her braces. She expe- riences serious bouts of depression and self-harm. Her girlfriend lives miles away in Minnesota. For Nicky, there’s only a distant hope of going to school. Seats reserved for people like Nicky are not usually filled. It looks good to create demographic targets in the name of equity or diversity, but the prob- lem lies with the number of applicants. Seriously disadvantaged people are unlikely to apply to expensive, strenuous post-secondary in the first place. The school says “We don’t have enough X,” when it should be “Why isn’t X applying?” Right now the University of Manitoba uses a similar diversity policy. According to U of M Associate Dean Melanie Janzen, their 10 per cent of i didn’t run for council because you are all impressive and intimidating This is the last time Kieran will do the EdToon Kieran Chrysler reserved seats are, again, not filled. In two years, that five per cent diversity target is being bumped up to 45 per cent. Targets are pretty specific: Canadian Indigenous peoples, racial- letters to the editor ized persons, LGBTQ persons, persons with disabilities, and disadvantaged persons. Yes, 45 per cent is pretty high, but in reality, most of those reserved Candidates should talk in will walk by anyways. To sum up, while plaint against a candidate if they are seats aren’t going to fill up (so you don’t have to worry about program dilu- classes I completely understand where you are found to be breaking said rules, as is tion.) That’s because people either don’t apply in the first place, or if they do (Re: Class talks by SU candidates coming from in terms of the large sum what happened last year when a student apply, their marks are high enough to be accepted as a regular, non-diver- should be prohibited, by Mitch of tuition we are paying for every minute came forward against Sleiman. But sity student. Diversity applicants still have to meet an academic minimum Sorensen, March 9) we are in lectures, it is unfair to deprive when the rules themselves aren’t really for admission, but they’re given a lower competitive average. students from sharing ideas or opportu- communicated clearly to anyone than Unclaimed seats go back to regular applicants, which happens in most When a class talk is presented, it’s nities they are passionate about during the candidates, nobody knows what to cases. People like my friend Nicky are busy worrying about things like during the few minutes before class the few minutes before class when most complain against. working a full-time job, dealing with mental illness, or both. Yes, it’s great actually begins and if the talk does students in the lecutre are wrapping up When I was requesting permission institutions want people like her. But it’s not great when the only thing happen to start going into class time the their text messages or getting out their to speak to classes, I explicitly stated institutions do is declare “I Want You” and leave it at that. If schools actu- prof often cuts in or tells the candidate to notebooks anyways. that my speeches were to take place ally want to make a difference in the demographic landscape, they should wrap it up. As well, the candidates who Navneet Gidda prior to the commencement of class. focus on recruitment and retention. are pitching their ideas to students are via web And as Navneet alluded to, if I began Diversity targets are a thing at the University of Alberta too. Our Faculty there because they care about students to encroach on class time, I was often of Education sets aside ten per cent of seats for Indigenous students (about and want to engage them in the conver- If you’re going to suggest prohibiting cut off and asked to leave. However six per cent are filled.) Those students sometimes enter through the U of sation. By reminding students of the one of the few ways we have to reach out there was a couple of classes where the A’s Transition Year Program, which helps students meet program entrance election and of the various platforms, to voters during the campaign, I’d also instructor polled the students to see requirements with insufficient high school scores. Others enter from the they are trying to get as many students like to hear any suggestions you have to if they’d like to hear more and/or ask Aboriginal Teacher Education Program, which provides a university-level as possible to talk about issues that fill the void left behind. We don’t have questions. education within communities. Actively reaching out to disadvantaged directly affect their university experi- many options when it comes to reach- In addition, I don’t share your opin- education students like this will get you a lot further along in increasing ence. Would we rather have candidates ing the electorate, especially consider- ion when you say that classes of 20 to diversity of an entire system. An education with six per cent Indigenous stu- who don’t bother to actively interact ing the campaign period is less than 2 30 students are “simply not worth the dents is impressive, and I don’t doubt that active retention helps with that. with students or voice their opinions/ weeks and the election isn’t hyped up candidates’ time”. While I’ve heard that Education isn’t a professional program, so academic standards don’t plan of action? Furthermore, it would much until a week or two prior to read- most candidates did tend to focus on need to be strict. Doctors and engineers need to get competitively high become extremely difficult for candi- ing week. Voter turnout this year was 100+ lecture halls, I did talks in classes grades to maintain the integrity of their profession. Teachers are differ- dates to spread their ideas to a large down from last year, and by eliminat- ranging from 350+ filled seats to a class ent — good grades aren’t necessarily indicative of performance in the real audience of students if class talks were ing one of the few avenues we have to of 12. And while I may have had 5-10% of world because the job is practical. The idea of increasing diversity in the banned. They are after all only given a connect to students in only 11 days, that people in the larger classes listening to education program is to create a diverse teaching workforce, which might few days to campaign and get their ideas would mean choosing between ramp- some degree, every single person in the offer students a wider support network in class. It might also just open out there – so class talks serve a purpose ing up other means of communication 12-person class was listening, engaged more doors, and think beyond the idea that good grades are not indicators in terms of efficiency as well. or interacting with fewer students. and even taking notes. Some also asked of good teaching. If we’re going to look at grades in education, we should Apart from class talks related to SU You argue that students time equals questions. These smaller classes tended be thinking about classroom performance, practicum performance, and elections, many of the other presenta- money which is true. Students pay to be more engaged and possibly more which one is more important to the overall degree. tions that are allowed (the ones that tuition to hear the professor speak, not willing to share the word among their Increasing diversity in education isn’t a bad thing if it doesn’t decrease focus on volunteer, job, or travel oppor- us candidates. Which is why there are friends and peers than those in a large the quality in education programs. But if we really want K-12 students tunities) are again also for the benefit of regulations in place (which as you had crowd. I appreciated the opportunity to and provincial education systems to benefit from diversity initiatives, we students. A large portion of the oppor- mentioned, were broken this year) to speak with each and every person who should emphasize recruitment rather than simply opening seats up for tunities presented are meant to enrich prohibit candidates from speaking to was willing to give me a few minutes of students. the student experience on campus and a class during class time without the their time and while it may seem that I think back to my friend: she can access a bunch of grants, she has appar- essentially give students the opportu- permission of the instructor. In years larger rooms are more ideal targets for ent support from her band — things check out on paper. But she thinks nity to do more than just go to lectures past, verbal permission was all that was candidates, large packed rooms do not to every life factor counting against her and there’s no way she can go to and hand in assignments. Often, with required. This year, the CRO explicitly always equate to an attentive audience. school. Nicky is up against life, not students with high grades. the numerous ways to get involved on stated that written permission must be tl:dr I couldn’t disagree with this campus, students get overwhelmed obtained in advance of any class talk. more. Jamie Sarkonak and therefore a class talk can be more And unbeknownst to most, students/ Levi Flaman staff reporter effective than a poster that most people voters have the right to lodge a com- via web thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 opinion 9 Royal Alberta Museum continues to house stolen objects

Museum. Until the temporary clo- sure of RAM, it was kept in a corner of the museum where it was free to visit for ceremonial purposes. Shaylee There are still negotiations go- Foord ing on between First Nations of opinion writer Alberta, the United Church, and the museum to work towards the Two weeks ago, the provincial gov- repatriation of the Manitou Stone, ernment requested proposals for but it’s been a slow process. Cur- what to do with the former Royal rently, Alberta has repatriation Alberta Museum building. Much to legislation in the form of the First the public’s disapproval, the request Nations Sacred Ceremonial Ob- was for ideas to “deconstruct” the jects Repatriation Act (FNSCORA). building for the creation of a green The problem with the FNSCORA is space, and not for other ways to that it only allows repatriation to use it. The irony of tearing down a a single First Nation, and because natural history museum to provide elders have made it clear that the green space is something seemingly Manitou Stone belongs to all First lost in the public outrage, but offers Nations, it remains in the care of an interesting opportunity to ask the museum. The FNSCORA also what museums are even for, and prevents the return of many other what place they occupy in contem- artifacts, limiting repatriation to porary society. objects that are deemed necessary for traditional ceremonial practic- es. According to the Royal Alberta (Museums) will remain Museum’s website, this means that to paint false histories “items of personal or familial sig- nificance do not meet the criteria of native people as a outlined in the Act, and therefore cultural group of the are not considered appropriate ob- past. jects for repatriation.” Perhaps there is a way to Throughout the nineteenth cen- use museums as tools for tury, museums emerged in Europe reconciliation and representation as public spaces of education and of true First Nations histories, citizen-building. They represented but it seems unlikely given that spaces where class hierarchies were very few aboriginal people work built (and still are — what’s more as curators, and First Nations are bougie than a museum?) and main- christina varvis rarely consulted in the creation tained, both on the level of patron- and artifacts are “preserved” to tou Stone. The Manitou Stone is George McDougall and taken to a of cultural exhibits. Instead, they age and what was actually being showcase a vibrant cultural past, a large meteorite that landed on local mission. Many believe that will remain to paint false histories displayed. Museums were a space despite the vibrant cultural present a hilltop overlooking Iron Creek the subsequent war between the of native people as a cultural to showcase art and treasures ap- of aboriginal communities. centuries ago. Where it sat, it was Cree and Blackfoot and the small- group of the past, and continue propriated from colonized nations Museums also rarely tell accurate considered an object of immense pox epidemic that followed, as well to obscure understandings of under the guise of preservation. stories of violent colonization spiritual power. Elders and spiri- as the eventual wipe-out of the present realities of indigeneity. Museums were held up as pillars while obscuring the sins of the tual leaders proclaimed the Mani- buffalo, was a foreseen result of Stolen artifacts will remain in of culture in a civilized society by past, and contributing to ongoing tou Stone a sign from the Creator the Manitou Stone’s removal. Since sites that are unwelcoming to using false narratives and display- colonization practices. Artifacts, and a symbol of protection, and it 1866, the Manitou Stone (named the and misrepresentative of their ing colonized peoples as the un- art, and ceremonial objects became a gathering place for the Iron Creek Meteorite by its captors) rightful owners, and colonization civilized “other” to justify imperi- are trapped in unwelcoming Cree and Blackfoot people of the has been taken from the mission will continue under the guise alism. museums and kept from their region as well as travelling tribes near Smoky Lake, to Lac Ste. Anne, of education and cultural In North America, the story rightful caretakers by museums who would stop to pay homage. to Victoria University in Cobourg, preservation. I can’t speak to what doesn’t differ very much. Natural that have no business preserving The removal of this sacred object Ontario, to Toronto’s Royal Ontar- to do with the old RAM building, history and anthropology museums and curating a culture that doesn’t was thought to precede disaster io Museum, and has finally come but as for the colonial institution are populated with images of native belong to them. for the First Nations. In 1866, the to rest in Edmonton where it is on that museums represent, I say tear people as characters of history, One such example is the Mani- meteorite was stolen by Reverend loan to our very own Royal Alberta the whole system down. Red Eye tournament doesn’t acknowledge its own ableism

wheelchair photoshoot. to use a wheelchair can “eliminate “People (like me) need them to get some barriers.” Yet wheelchairs around. To get to the bathroom, to are used in Red Eye as a novelty for get to school or work, to get to the primarily able-bodied participants. Julia shops, to lead a ‘normal’ life,” she Additionally, reverse integration St.Louis said. cannot occur without involving ath- opinion writer Josh Taylor, power wheelchair letes with disabilities. soccer player and former U of A stu- Red Eye is not an awareness event. Red Eye, arguably one of Recreation dent, disagrees. It is intended to be a recreational ac- Services’ most popular events, is “At least there’s awareness getting tivity for students. Regardless, the coming up on March 18-19. Red Eye out,” he said. “I can’t imagine any of use of wheelchairs by able bodied is an overnight sports tournament them walk away thinking it’s easy. people for fun is a form of cultural where teams move quickly from I know if it was powerchair soccer, appropriation. game to game. Some of the most I’d like it if people had a chance to Disability culture is a minority anticipated games in Red Eye are experience what I do for fun as a culture and it must be granted the wheelchair basketball and sledge sport.” same rights and opportunity to hockey. Bustamante’s thought process is educate as any other, particularly Red Eye attracts primarily able- along the same lines as Josh. in university environments. Inten- bodied participants, according to “It eliminates the barrier between tionally or not, Red Eye is executing organizers. able-bodied and not able-bodied an ableist event under the guise of “In the three Red Eyes I’ve over- athletes,” he said. However, Busta- a fun recreational activity, with a seen, we actually haven’t had any mante said disability awareness is reference to awareness taken for people with disabilities sign up,” not the focus of Red Eye. granted. Educational institutions said Alberto Bustamante, Recre- “The aim is to promote different should be held to a higher standard ation Services assistant intramural programming … and have a variety for eliminating discrimination in sports coordinator. Bustamante of sporting events,” he said. their programming. said individuals with disabilities Bustamante’s reasoning is in line To improve, Red Eye should be don’t take part in the planning the with the contentious concept of re- planned with the input and involve- event, either. verse integration. Reverse integra- ment of wheelchair users. Reverse Is this ableist? Or is it okay for tion involves able-bodied people integration can be positive and cre- able-bodied people to use wheel- playing adaptive sports alongside ate a more accessible playing field, chairs for fun? people with disabilities, and is heav- but that simply cannot be accom- “Wheelchair basketball should be ily debated in the world of paras- plished by a group of exclusively for physically disabled people who ports. Nowhere on Red Eye’s website able-bodied people. The stories, need wheelchairs,” said Ophelia is reverse integration referenced, experiences, voices and expertise Brown, a disability advocate best nor is disability culture mentioned. of people with physical disabili- known for a viral article she wrote in Bustamante hopes able-bodied ath- ties must be heard in order to end response to Kylie Jenner’s infamous letes who understand what it’s like ableism on our campus. Supplied - Campus and Community Recreation CoRec Red Eye opinion 10 thegateway www.gtwy.ca March 16, 2016 The sensual glories of being naked

that enough. The first thing I do healthier skin. when I get home is strip my social So don’t second guess yourself armour — the cotton, denim, and next time you want to go skinny pleather that restricts my body from dipping. Flail your flesh and plunge Pia its true identity. I’ll even cook bacon into the water like the liberated Araneta in the nude. Oh, and what if it spat- creature you are. Yell “free” as you sex columnist ters? Luckily, I developed a method frolic toward the sunset, in the field that helps strengthen my mentality of God’s unwanted children, wav- YOURYOUR LASTLAST On International Women’s Day, Kim and reinforce my body positivity: ing your slut flag high and -soak Kardashian tweeted a nude selfie whenever I feel the grease burn my ing up the vitamin D from all that that sparked a heated cluster fuck stomach or singe my nipples, I’ll sun exposure (warning: too much of commentary ranging from P!nk’s whisper something like “freedom sun exposure can lead to serious contempt to Amber Rose’s support. of expression,” or “my body, my sun damage and skin cancer, so by The Twitter battle consisted of slut- rights,” until the pain eventually all means, be naked in the sun, but LECTURERLECTURER shaming jabs and body-positive re- subsides by the thoughts of much maybe not for that long). buttals, all eventually silenced by more important issues at hand. And speaking of vitamin D, be- Kim’s blog post the following day. ing naked preps you for penetra- “I am empowered by my body. I am tion! Your nude, consensual body empowered by my sexuality. I am And speaking of is ready to go like a true member empowered by feeling comfortable vitamin D, being of the animal kingdom. No more in my skin,” she wrote, calling for naked preps you for dealing with those tricky belt buck- FOR 2016 an end to body-shaming and slut- les and awkwardly taking off your FOR 2016 shaming. penetration! socks. And men, did you know that Now, as someone who typically wearing underwear can restrict tries to steer clear from the time- And being naked isn’t just a re- your blood flow, decreasing your sucking lives of the Kardashians, inforcing ego boost — nudity also fertility? So go commando and be the nudist queen within me couldn’t leads to a better night’s sleep. Ac- the fertile man I know you’ve al- help but give Kim two solid thumbs cording to a study done by the Na- ways wanted to be. up for unapologetically flaunting tional Sleep Foundation, the ideal Being naked is the most natu- her body. Hell, if I were a mother of body temperature for optimal rest ral thing we can be, so in Kim’s two and still managed to have an is around 18 °C; being in the buff defence, we really shouldn’t con- hourglass figure with an ass that lowers your body temperature and demn a gal for flashing the public. won’t quit, you better believe I’d combats those agonizing nights After all, we are all skin and bones. be spamming my contact list with where you’re tossing and turn- We are hair and moles and stretch nude selfies around the clock. ing from overheat. Being naked marks and scars and wrinkles and Being nude is refreshing and em- also eliminates toxins that our even so, we’re all still too sexy for powering. I really can’t emphasize clothes can trap, which leads to our shirts.

DR.DALBIRDR.DALBIR SEHMBY supplied “HisSEHMBY classes are always entertaining. You don’t All minority groups should be celebrated even realize you’re learning.” � SARAH HIRST Canadian professor in the Faculty Ultimately black history month of Education who researches ra- serves as a push for all Canadians cialization, immigration, and citi- to celebrate the diversity and zenship in Alberta. Her views on culture of their fellow citizens. Oumar black history month are nuanced Yet the struggles of all minority GET YOUR FREE TICKETS NOW: Salifou with a recognition of differing groups should be recognized and multimedia editor views on the subject. respected properly, as many people “It’s good and bad in some ways” in white mainstream Canada have When the topic of black history said Dr. Kelly. “It’s sort of contro- also faced economic and even month is brought up it often trig- versial in the sense that rather racial barriers such as Italian and APR. 7, 2016 | 7 PM | TIMMS CENTRE FOR THE ARTS gers a few age old responses rang- than being included throughout Jewish populations. ing from the knee jerk black jokes the whole year, it’s the sense that Acknowledgements of racism (what’s your favourite drinking you know one month is taken for and hardships faced by a certain holiday?) to more formal rejec- black history.” group isn’t a competition for tions of the February celebration. She also thinks black history victimhood and it shouldn’t be. I Many prominent African Ameri- month is a good idea. would be the first person to agree cans have come out against the “I think for sure we need more for the creation of a Jewish or Italian concept of black history month inclusion throughout the whole history month and I don’t believe such as Morgan Freeman and Sta- year about the significance, con- it would take any validity out of cey Dash. These ideas affect black tributions, and ideas of peoples Afro-Canadian achievements. history month in Canada because of African descent. February re- Recognizing the accomplishments black culture in Canada is often minds people that this is the time of minority groups is important homogenized with American to look seriously if they aren’t al- and should be widely established ideas of blackness. ready doing so at the experiences as a cornerstone of Canadian Dr. Jennifer Kelly is a Jamaican- of folks of African descent.” public celebrations. thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 opinion 11 Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions movement is necessary

policies. Opponents of BDS fail to the usual and inaccurate accusations recognize that it was the Palestinians towards the BDS movement is the is- themselves who called for global sue of anti-Semitism, that BDS has a solidarity within its boycott campaign. discriminatory focus on “Jewry.” Yet Prachi BDS didn’t spring out of the void — it some of the most prominent groups Mishra was a conscious decision made after and individuals advocating for BDS opinion writer decades of oppression. have been Jewish, such as Jewish Palestinian institutions, groups and Voice for Peace and academics such The recent motion in parliament con- individuals themselves called out for as Israeli historian Illan Pappé and demning the Boycott Divestment and support against Israeli apartheid — a Sarah Schulman. The BDS campaign Sanctions Movement against Israel “label” that may seem insidious to focuses on the discriminatory and op- has generated a controversial debate some but is in fact the reality on the pressive policies towards Palestinians surrounding the legitimacy of BDS. ground for Palestinians, both in Israel used to supposedly protect “Jewish” Opponents such as Cole Forster writ- and in the territories, as they face sys- nationality. However, Israel operates ing in last week’s Gateway argue that temic persecution on the basis of their as a state and not as an official voice the movement is anti-Semitic and an identity. for the Jewish people as a whole. obstruction to peace. However, one Moreover, while opponents argue has to contextualize BDS in the broad- that BDS ultimately puts Palestinians er history of the Israeli-Palestinian To highlight Israel out of jobs, this argument excuses the conflict to truly understand its motiva- as an “oasis of oppressive structures imposed upon tions rather than to superficially judge the Palestinians. The issue of job se- it as “insidious.” democracy” in the curity cannot be assumed without After decades of occupation, settle- Middle East legitimizes, first removing the structures that im- ments and policies reminiscent of undermines, and excuses poverish Palestinians to begin with — South African apartheid (both Des- which Palestinians argue is the Israeli mond Tutu and Nelson Mandela the occupation, wars, occupation. To highlight Israel as an themselves have drawn these com- ethnic cleansing of “oasis of democracy” in the Middle parisons to the Israeli occupation), Pal- East legitimizes, undermines, and estinians grew increasingly frustrated, Palestinians. excuses the occupation, wars, ethnic and rightfully so. cleansing of the Palestinian peoples. Despite attempts at reconciliation In order to dismantle structures of The BDS campaign brings to light through both formal and informal oppression, one has to recognize, ac- the decades of Israeli occupation and processes, such as the Oslo Accords knowledge and support the calls that oppression of Palestinian peoples, and collaborations with Israeli peace the oppressed themselves make and and serves as a legitimate and serious activists, Palestinians saw no progress within this case, BDS is a response to form of protest against these continu- in a situation that only continued to that call. The notion that Israel is a plu- ing practices. Palestinian people have oppress and steal their lands. In 2005, ralistic, democratic state is one that is called upon solidarity groups to join Palestinian NGOs officially gave a call rejected by not only the Palestinians this global movement and to deny the to boycott Israel as a means to pressure but other minorities such as African legitimacy of the Palestinian struggle the state into ending its apartheid refugees, Bedouins and so on. One of ultimately denies their oppression. supplied - takver Ontario courts shouldn’t rule on allegedly racist wills In this instance, the facts were fairly clear-cut, but imagine if the daughter was a jerk, and the money was given to charity instead; or perhaps the fa- Spencer ther just favored his other daughter; Morrison or perhaps the disinherited daughter opinion writer faked the allegations — the father is dead, who knows? The Court consid- This year, two decisions in Ontario ered these hypotheticals, and erred Courts enraged everyone who read in favor of caution. This was pru- about them, for many different rea- dent. sons. The second case is troubling. Look Both cases are about dead men who at the facts, all the man did was cre- wrote allegedly racist wills. In one, a ate a scholarship with racial and black man disinherited his daughter, gender conditions, both of which because she “gave birth to a child fa- are quite common. For example, the thered by a white man.” In the other, University of Alberta Registrar lists a white man bequeathed an endow- fifteen different, privately spon- ment to fund two scholarships: one sored, undergraduate awards which for single, white, male, heterosexu- are earmarked for students of “Ab- als; the other for single, white, fe- original descent.” Likewise, there males who are not “feminist(s) or are many awards for “minorities,” lesbian(s).” including “Asian,” “Black,” and “La- Here’s the kicker: the Court up- tino” students. Clearly racial provi- held the first will, but voided the sions are fine. second. This means that one man’s The other clause was gendered. daughter gets nothing, because she These are also permitted: there are “fraternized” with a white guy, and at least four scholarships reserved no one gets the scholarships, be- for “lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans- supplied cause it is against “public policy” to identified, or queer” students. Clear- give them exclusively to white het- decisions are inconsistent — that whomever they like, and for what- ed” choices do not justify interven- ly gender-orientation provisions are erosexuals. will be sorted out by a higher court ever reason; after all, they acquired tion. Basically, they affirmed the fine. The scholarships in question I have simplified things a bit, but — but that the Court is amending it, own it, and it is theirs to give; foundational legal principle: you can cause no harm, in fact they do the you get the point. Now, allegations people’s wills at all. What right has they could even destroy their stuff, be a jerk, just don’t hurt anyone. Not opposite, and the Courts have said of racism are probably rampant in the Court, in the absence of imme- if they want. only that, but they protected our lib- that “distasteful, offensive” wills are your mind, but let us look at the is- diate harm, to decide what a per- In the first case, the Court recog- erty and our private property, neither A-OK. sue logically. son does with their stuff? A living nized this, saying that “distasteful, of which should be infringed lightly. The Courts should back off, and The problem here is not that the person is free to give their stuff to offensive, vengeful or small-mind- They also avoided a slippery slope. just let jerks be jerks. three lines #3LF free Got something that you need to get off your mind? Either email us at [email protected], tweet @threelinesfree, or message us at www.thegatewayonline.ca/threelinesfree

Heard a very pro-rape chat in The fact that arts graduates are Can’t wait to graduate and leave the class, and I hate the professor. want, bitch. compsci, the sexual harassment waiting tables and whipping up this stress-inducing, soul-crush- Pls just be over soon. Who won the SU election? posters makes a lot more sense your frappuccino’s are not signs ing, shithole capitalistic institu- Don’t let people limit you; your In the movie Leaving Las Vegas. now that we are lazy and self-indul- tion once and for all. future is unlimited A gorgeous prostitute falls in love I remember back when Cam Lewis gent, it’s just that society has yet I fucking hate everyone in my I’M AN ARTS STUDENT AND with a pathetic, obnoxious drunk. used to sneak into Costco just to to collectively wake up to what Drama 102 class. I hate everyone’s PROUD. YES. Thank you Gateway! Maybe my asshole uncle will find buy hotdogs culture can really do for us. opinions, I hate the structure of Fuck alllll the haters, I do what I true love after all. feature 12 THEgateway WWW.GTWY.CA March 16, 2016

COMPILED BY KIERAN CHRYSLER · CAM LEWIS · KEVIN SCHENK

Purity DESIGNED BY ADAIRE BEATTY

Test NUMBER OF PEOPLE RESULTS 2016 WHO TOOK THE TEST

DISCLAIMER: THROUGHOUT ITS 106-YEAR HISTORY, THE GATEWAY HAS SERVED STUDENTS BY PRODUCING 7942 QUALITATIVE RESEARCH ON MATTERS REGARDING THE UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA AND ITS CAMPUS. AND BY QUALITATIVE RESEARCH, I MEAN WE INTERVIEW PEOPLE AND WRITE ARTICLES BASED ON WHAT THEY TELL US.

ANYWAYS, NOW WE’RE LOOKING TO BUILD ON THAT AND START PROVIDING STUDENTS WITH INFORMATION IN THE FORM OF QUALITATIVE RESEARCH. FOR YEARS NOW, WE’VE BEEN PUTTING OUT THE PURITY TEST — A TEST IN WHICH PEOPLE ANSWER QUESTIONS TO DETERMINE HOW PURE (OR UN-PURE) THEY ARE. 34% 46% 10%

THIS YEAR, WE LOOKED AT THE DATA GATHERED FROM THE SURVEY, AND HANDPICKED SOME OF THE THINGS WE THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD FIND INTERESTING. YEAH, WE KNOW. THIS ISN’T HOW YOU DO LEGITIMATE QUANTITATIVE RESEARCH. WE DIDN’T USE PROPER RANDOM SAMPLES, WE AREN’T OBSERVING RESEARCH SIGNIFICANCE, AND HELL, NONE OF US ARE GOOD AT STATS. WHAT AM I GETTING AT HERE? DON’T TAKE THESE RESULTS SERIOUSLY AS ACCURATE ? REPRESENTATIONS OF THE STUDENT BODY. THIS IS JUST A QUICK LOOK AT THE VICES AND TENDENCIES OF THE INDIVIDUALS ON CAMPUS THAT OTHERWISE WOULD GO UNNOTICED AND UNREPORTED.

education HIGHEST 888 SCORE 52% 41% 8% AVERAGE PAY FOR THEIR DON’T PAY FOR THEIR WOULDN’T 126.4 SCORE OWN EDUCATION OWN EDUCATION DISCLOSE

LOWEST -127 $$$ $? SCORE $

90 people

PHYSICAL EDUCATION faculty & RECREATION breakdown 56 people

NURSING 13.6% ARTS 2.5% ALES 5% BUSINESS 1 person 7. 6% EDUCATION 10% ENGINEERING ST. JOSEPH’S COLLEGE 1% LAW 2.6% MEDICINE & DENTISTRY 0.5% NATIVE STUDIES 2% NURSING 0.5% PHARMACY & PHARMACEUTICAL STUDIES 2.5% PHYSICAL EDUCATION AND RECREATION 0.5% REHABILITATION MEDICINE 0.25% SCHOOL OF PUBLIC HEALTH have 17% 13.5% SCIENCE 0.5% ST. JOSEPH’S COLLEGE been in a 3.5% OTHER 17% NOT A STUDENT fight 22% DID NOT ANSWER THEgateway WWW.GTWY.CA Volume 106, Issue 29 feature 13

sex Cheating

789 3289 6734 CHEATED ON NEVER KISSED NEVER KISSED NUMBER OF PORN 34% A PARTNER SOMEONE OF SOMEONE OF WATCHERS OPPOSITE SEX SAME SEX CHEATED 55% ON A TEST

49% 69% 95% 82% 31% PLAGIARZED WHO HAS KISSED SOMEONE OF WHO WATCHES PORN? AN ESSAY THE SAME SEX?

drugs KISSED YOUR 13% TAKEN ADDERALL TO “STUDY” SISTER ON A BRIDGE!? 52% SMOKED A CIGARETTE 61% SMOKED A CIGAR 130 59% SMOKED CANNABIS 19% SHROOMS? PEOPLE SAID YES 17% MDMA? 8% DROPPED ACID? 2% METH? food 12% EVER DONE A LINE OF COKE?

HAVE YOU GOTTEN DRUNK HERE? 38% of people HAVE EATEN SUBWAY FIVE TIMES IN ONE WEEK RATT 2709 PEOPLE HAVE 21% of people HAVE EATEN PANDA HUT BEFORE NOON DEWEY’S 2249 PEOPLE HAVE 11% of people HAVE HOSTED A PARTY AT THE GARNEAU PUB 2035 PEOPLE HAVE BOSTON PIZZA ULTRALOUNGE

life

2 RESPONDENTS 1592 SAY THEY HAVE 6 BEEN FROZEN IN CARBONITE 24% 5 (OKAY GUYS) RESPONDENTS WANT OF RESPONDENTS HAVE TO GO HOME AND NEVER HAD SEX RETHINK THEIR LIVES arts & culture 14 thegateway www.gtwy.ca March 16, 2016 A & C Editor Phone Jonathan Zilinski 780.492.5168 Email Twitter [email protected] @jonneedstwitter rts & ulture Volunteer A C Arts meetings every Wednesday at 4pm in SUB 3-04 fashion streeters compiled & photographed by Christina Varvis

Victoria Zhang ECONOMICS I

“Stone Cold, Steve” willow austin Learning about diversity by the book

Library by the standards of the inter- answer or redirect.” event PREVIEW national organization is one-on-one. Another thing that’s important keep For the purpose of reaching as many in mind is that the books are sharing The Human people as possible, however, this one their personal stories. They’re not ad- will allow three readers at a time per vocating for a group or representing Library book. Two of those will be online the political views of an entire coun- bookings, and one can be drop in. If try. They are simply representing one WHEN Thursday March 17 from you are dropping in, plan to arrive unique perspective. 2:00 to 6:45 p.m. You can drop in about 15 minutes early so you can As far as choosing participants went, or make appointments at bit.ly/ make sure to sign up for the book Anley and Lozanski put out a call for UofAhumanlibrary16 you want. books, and met individually with those WHERE Rutherford Library This year, there are 11 books, whose who responded to have a conversation HOW MUCH Free titles include “Wheels: Don’t Let Your and explain what was involved so Disability Define Your Abilities,” they could decide whether they were “Meantime: Reflections on Trans interested. Shaylee Foord Exclusions From an Ex-Substitute “The books have to be in a place arts & culture writer Teacher,” and “A Surprising Journey where they’re comfortable with their to the World of Education.” story, and they might think they are but People often describe themselves as After an usher takes you to your when they get talking it ends up being gateway: Describe your outfit. open books, but at the Human Li- book, your 45 minutes begin, the first too close to the surface, or the emotions zhang: Actually, the brand of my clothing is brary you don’t have to read between 20 of which are for the book to tell are a little too raw and they decide they the lines to get a full story. This year, you their story. After that, you have don’t want to do this right now,” Anley from China and my classmate from high school the University of Alberta is hosting a the rest of the time to ask questions. explains of the selection process. designed this outfit for me. She’s now studying at Human Library for Equity, Diversity, the University of Cambridge and she’s studying and Inclusion Week. Human Library “It gives people the chance to ask those questions is an international movement that visual arts. She’s a good designer I think! was started in 2000 in Copenhagen, that maybe they’d be afraid to ask. It creates a gateway: Where do you find inspiration for your in which human “books” have 45 minutes to share personal experi- welcoming, supportive environment for that.” style? ences with “readers” who get to ask zhang: I think the market, somewhere like them questions about their stories. — Catherine Anley, Co-organizer “The whole purpose of the Hu- Safeway or Sobey’s, because I make food for myself man Library is to find people who are a lot, and the vegetables, milk, everything just willing to share their story — but not “It gives people the chance to ask Some of this year’s books also par- inspires me a lot. just any story — it’s some incident or those questions that maybe they’d be ticipated last year, and could offer situation in which they feel that they afraid to ask … it creates a welcom- support and advice to new books, be- experienced prejudice, there was ing, supportive environment for that,” cause understandably, according to stereotyping or lack of understand- says Anley, noting that to get the best Anley, “if you haven’t been a book be- ing of their values or beliefs. It’s re- experience from your 45 minutes you fore, you might be a little anxious.” ally quite based in human rights,” should really think about the questions According to testimonials from last explains Catherine Anley, who is an you want to ask and what you want to year’s books and readers alike, the Employment Equity Advisor at U take from it in advance. Human Library is unique in its ability of A and the co-organizer of North “Do little bit of self-reflection, and to facilitate conversations between Campus’ Human Library, along with don’t censor yourself … allow yourself people who may otherwise never Lisa Lozanski, who works in global to feel that and then come to the ses- come into close contact with one an- education. sion and speak from your heart.” other. Each conversation is a little bit This isn’t Edmonton’s first Human Another thing that sets this Human different, and it’s a learning experi- Library, or even the University’s. Last Library apart from the others is the ence for both parties. year, Anley and Lozanski organized presence of conversation facilitators, Anley explained the decision to their first Human Library for one day who are available to ensure respect- include Human Library in this year’s during International Week, and it ful dialogue and offer support to the Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion Week was so popular they decided to bring books, and even the readers. Respect as a way to learn about diversity on a it back for a second year, this time and comfort (for books and readers) are very personal level: for two days. There have also been an important element of the Human Li- “How are we building our skills and Human Libraries at the Edmonton brary. Anley explains abilities to just simply have a con- Public Library, and one each term at “There’s no question that’s wrong – versation with someone and to learn Augustana since 2009. there’s nothing that you can’t ask the about a different perspective? I think According to Anley, a true Human book, but the book may choose to not that’s essential.” thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 arts & culture 15 The adventures and struggles of Nicholas Nickleby A production of the Dickens’ classic where life and death go hand in hand, and wealth and poverty stand side by side theatre PREVIEW university students. of London with buying and selling, well. Chris Pereira, who plays the roles of Drama 457 is the final acting and lots of burlap,” says Jessica Initially intrigued by Nickleby’s Mr. Mantalini and Charles Cheery- class for every drama major finish- Watson, who plays Ralph Nickleby complex character, Laura Duguay ble, “life and death, hope and despair, Nicholas ing their degree. It allows students and is one of three people assisting naturally fell into the role of the family and isolation, isolation and to take everything they’ve learned with costuming. male lead. community, and finding a home.” Nickleby in previous courses and put them Thrust theatre gives a three-di- together to create a full-length pro- mensional aspect that audiences “Nicholas is very open and follows his impulses WHEN March 18th to 21st (Each show duction of their choosing. After don’t often get while watching in starts at 7:30 p.m. with 2:00 p.m. mati- researching plays and careful con- a proscenium theatre, as Krystal like crazy. He stands up for what he believes in. In nees on Saturday and Sunday) sideration, the group ultimately de- Johnson, who plays Tilda and Pluck the end humans are humans, so you just play the WHERE Second Playing Space, cided on Nicholas Nickleby. and is part of the prop design team, Timms Center The play, adapted from Charles describes. Braden Price, who plays objective and that’s all it comes down to.” written by Charles Dickens Dickens’ The Life and Adventures Gride and is also partly responsible STARRING Laura Duguay, Chris of Nicholas Nickleby, chronicles a for lighting, explains that thrust ­­­­­— Laura Duguay, Actor Pereira, Krystal Johnson, Jessica young man in the aftermath of his theatre “wraps the audience all the Watson, Jordan Perrault, Braden Price father’s death. Struggling with mon- way around,” causing “the audi- “[Nicholas] is very open and fol- The play connects with people HOW MUCH Free (sign up in front ey issues and forced into an uncom- ence to feel very immersed in the lows his impulses like crazy. He because it’s relatable. The main of the drama office, or email Jackson fortable situation with his heartless space and feel like they are in the stands up for what he believes in,” character is a young man who Longworth jacksonlongworth@gmail. uncle, Nickleby steps up to care for world of the play.” For the black explains Duguay. “In the end, hu- leaves the comforts of what he com) his mother and younger sister. box area of the second playing mans are humans, so you just play knows and enters into a realm of Ashton Mucha The class takes Brian Deedrick’s space, trust theatre is a great way the objective and that’s all that it unfamiliarity. He is forced to em- arts & culture writer studio theatre adaptation and to utilize the entire area. comes down to.” brace his new responsibilities, constructs their own version, For a highly stylized piece like Ultimately, Nicholas Nickleby mainly earning money and sup- Through an Inception-like adap- creating an Inception-like adaptation this, students must immerse deals with complex themes that are porting his family while remain- tation of an adaptation, students of an adaptation. They utilize the themselves with the history of the real, adverse challenges in anyone’s ing true to his morals and caring in Drama 457 have taken complex multiplicity of characters and fast- time period. Attention to detail for life. Jordan Perrault, who plays John persona. struggles that many people face paced environment to replicate the these students is huge, from the and Ned Cheeryble, describes how “I think university students will in society, incorporated them into hustle and bustle of London through proper trousers, to the smallest they chose to focus on money issues, really relate, because what are we an epic production of Nicholas a staging technique called thrust detail of a pen. Not only set design and the greed and corruption that trying to do here? We’re trying to Nickleby, and conveyed them in theatre. and costumes, but mannerisms can transpire as a result. forge a future for ourselves,” says a way that relates to many young “We wanted to create the business and language play a huge role as “It’s greed versus generosity,” says Watson.

christina varvis “Has anyone at the Grammys ever heard March Madness???”

Sam Podgurny of Future’s staggering — and still clubs over the last year and even arts & culture writer on-going — run of successful mix- made its way onto the court during tape and album releases, but stands the NBA Finals, with LeBron warm- The month of March is much re- out as the prime example of every- ing up to it before a game. vered in the sports world. It is this thing he does best in the rap game. If The King’s royal affirmation month where the top 64 college Atlanta beat-maker Tarentino, isn’t enough to convince you of this basketball teams from around the of the esteemed 808 Mafia crew, track’s worth, perhaps recogni- United States come together for an constructs a sonic landscape of tion and praise from three of rap’s epic saga of upsets, buzzer-beat- synths that float and dance safely most recognized names will. Drake ing-nail-biters and all-or-nothing above speaker-shaking bass tones, premiered an exclusive remix of championship moments. This creating an uplifting, yet strikingly “March Madness” on a recent epi- event is, of course, the beloved somber atmosphere that perfectly sode of OVO Sound Radio where NCAA Basketball Tournament, oth- suits Future’s signature concoction the legendary Nas went in on an erwise known as March Madness. of brutally honest lyrics and love of instrumental version of the song To most people, the phrase March inebriated partying. with a rare freestyle. Also, in one of Madness brings to mind terms like In one instance, he praises the his latest — and more reasonable— brackets, Final Four, Cinderella sto- power of what’s in his cup: “Dirty Twitter rants, Kanye used the song ry and Duke or Kentucky Universi- soda in a Styrofoam/ Spend a day to put the most prestigious music ty, but for another group of people, to get my mind blown” before association on blast for their mis- March Madness has started to take bringing it back down to Earth in informed and outdated hip-hop on a different meaning, one that a grounded realization: “I didn’t tastes: “Has anyone at the Gram- features a little less Gatorade and a wanna fuck the bitch, the molly mys ever heard March Madness??? little more purple drank. made me fuck her even/though she Yes I have a problem with the Future released the song “March average.” Grammys.” Madness” one year ago on March In another, he uses the March Like many of the players who 14, 2015 in the lead up to his mas- Madness tournament to drive will participate in the annual tour- terful 56 Nights mixtape and that home a potent and emotional point nament, “March Madness” may year’s NCAA tournament. Since about police shootings: “Ballin’ like never find itself playing in the ‘big that time, this — let’s just call it the March Madness/All these cops leagues’ despite all its worth. March what it is — straight-up banger has shooting niggas, tragic.” Madness will always be known for become the crowning achievement Based on its ‘turn up-able’ energy its iconic place in American sports of the Atlanta-based rap star’s ever- and basketball-flavoured premise, culture but in the spirit of this very growing catalogue. this track became one of the hottest tournament, isn’t always more fun This track came out in the midst singles in many hip-hop circles and to cheer for the underdog? Eddy rissling for the come up show-future arts & culture 16 thegateway www.gtwy.ca March 16, 2016 Illaborate pairing of carefree attitudes with careful attention to detail Kate McInnes and leather strap, sold at $25. arts & culture staff “We get our inspiration from everything we see,” he says. “We In a tequila-soaked backpack- make above average clothing for ing hostel in Bangkok, Thailand, the above average person. We Brandon Bowie had an epiphany don’t just want to make random midway through a month-long designs.” bender. “We never follow a template — “I was listening to this rap song, we think of stuff nobody’s done “All for the Cash” by Gang Starr, before.” and I heard the word ‘elaborate,’” Though Illaborate does not have Bowie explains. “I had wanted a website, the company has gener- to start a clothing company for a ated significant attention through long time … but the name really social media. Its Instagram feed, got the ball rolling.” for example, is a collage of skydiv- Once he sobered up and re- ing over Rome, smoking joints on turned to Edmonton, 19-year-old ski lifts and back-flipping off the Bowie and his traveling compan- tops of trees into the North Sas- ion, Sam Anderson, created Illab- katchewan River. orate Clothing Co., a street-wear “We wanted to bring our life- and sporting apparel company un- style, because we feel like our der the slogan, “for those pursu- group of friends has a lifestyle ing their passion.” They dropped that’s different from a lot of other their designs in Jan. 2014 — to pay people,” Bowie says. homage to their namesake, MC In the future, Bowie hopes to Guru of Gang Starr was featured earn a Masters in Business Admin- as a graphic on their first T-shirts. istration and develop Illaborate into a lifestyle brand and media company. He draws his strongest “With everything inspiration from Redbull, whose we do, we want to pay marketing campaigns focus exclu- sively on young men and extreme attention to detail. But sports. what we want to do At the moment, though, Bowie most is help people push is happy traveling the world — as he will continue to do in March, themselves and pursue when he’ll spend a month surf- their passions. You have ing in Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Panama — and working closely to prove it, you have to with Illaborate’s clients to create better products and develop his go after that passion. supplied network. That’s ill.” and “ill,” a term Bowie says is com- prove it, you have to go after that are mostly snowboarders, skiers, “The best thing is (that) … Illab- Brandon Bowie mon within extreme sports. passion. That’s ill.” skateboarders and extreme orate brings together people who co-founder illaborate clothing co. “With everything we do, we want Despite their carefree nature athletes, their merchandise has are likeminded and ambitious and to pay attention to detail,” he says. and commitment to the good life, to endure the elements while innovative,” Bowie says. The company’s name is a port- “But what we want to do most is the creators of Illaborate Clothing remaining fashion-forward. Their “Now that we’ve realized people re- manteau of “elaborate,” meaning help people push themselves (and) work meticulously in creating their most popular item is a hunter ally like our brand, we’re getting back detailed in designed and planning, pursue their passions. You have to products. Because their customers green snapback with a cork brim on track. We’re making moves.”

Metro Cinema at the Garneau 8712 109 Street, Edmonton, AB Regular Student 780 425 9212 | metrocinema.org Facebook.com/metrocinema Admission Twitter & Instagram @themetrocinema $9 ($6 Matinees)

You Can’t Keep a Good Woman Todd Babiak presents... Staff Pics:A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Down Film Festival Eastern Promises Reflecting on Existence A three-evening event produced in honour of A Russian teenager living in London who dies Sam and Jonathan, a pair of hapless novelty International Women’s Day and of Edmonton during childbirth leaves clues to a midwife in salesmen, embark on a tour of the human women, highlighting creativity, resilience, and her journal that could tie the child to a rape condition in reality and fantasy that unfold in a advocacy. involving a violent Russian mob family. series of absurdist episodes. March 8 - Suffragette Todd Babiak is an Edmonton writer who is With live music performance by Pigeon March 15 - Unnatural & Accidental launching his newest book at Metro Cinema. Breeders. March 22 - She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry March 16: Film at 7PM. Book launch and March 14 at 7:00PM. Music at 6:30. Films at 7:00. Preshow at 5:30. reading at 6:30PM. Visit metrocinema.org for full listings! thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 arts & culture 17

supplied Funk Velvet brings their tasty tunes to Filthy McNasty’s music PREVIEW Nico Humby, the lead vocalist and the budget for the album and Rault Meters and Art Blakey. The band least for now. upright bass player, formed the band admits that there are spots in the al- breathes life into timeless funk and “I’ve always had a dream of being six years ago, pursuing an adoles- bum that he believes could be tighter soul classics. The music feels dis- in a band and touring...but I’m only Funk Velvet cent dream with friends from junior and cleaner. tant from the vocals, making for a halfway through my degree,” says high. Three years later, Gareth Gil- “It was really stressful,” says Rault. truly archaic feel. They’ve pegged Rault. “I think it would be fun if WITH The Rule of Thirds liland, who was playing a jazz band “[Gilliland] didn’t have reading week the instrumental title track, “Tasty we could tour for four months or WHEN Saturday, March 26, 4:00 p.m. with current drummer Taylor Rault, so he was still doing school in the Snacks,” as a crowd favourite. something.” to 7:00 p.m. became the band’s guitarist and mornings.” “We’ve had a really good response Rault’s dream may just come WHERE Filthy McNasty’s, 10511 82 backup vocalist. “We came up with a rough budget to it,” says Humby, as he recounts au- true. The future holds possibility, Ave #2 Their debut album Tasty Snacks that turned out to be way off, by like diences getting in the groove. as the band have discussed touring HOW MUCH Free consists of six cover songs and six thousands of dollars,” says Gilliland. The band further enhances their across B.C. and Alberta, in search of originals. With its snappy title, Despite the taxing process, the individuality with their album art, small venues to perform. In the end, named after one of the record’s in- band overcame the obstacles and which is completely handmade: a they’re just good friends hanging out Raylene Lung strumentals, their debut is an ode completed the album in a short span. three by four candy creation, con- and jamming to the songs they love. arts & culture writer to the classic sounds of the 50s and The band was able to save some structed by Humby, made out of hard Every Saturday morning, the three 60s. The band planned to make the money from busking and apply for colourful fruit sweets. The band’s lead members play a laid back acoustic In the midst of a cultural rotation, album on a whim, but admit that the Edmonton Arts Council micro- vocalist is also a photographer, and set at the Strathcona farmer’s mar- it seems as though everything from the creation process was a bit of grant, which landed them $500 to shot the image himself. The album’s ket. This gig that acts as a gateway your parent’s era is coming back “schmoz.” put towards the album. title, artfully embedded in a mosaic for other performance opportunities, — flared denim, flower power and They recorded over fall reading Their vintage sound is inspired by of candy, is written in old school font but functions primarily as a bonding of course, music. If there’s one Ed- week, completing 24 hours of re- the funk vibes of the 60s and 70s, in an aged hue, resembling a record session. monton band suited to rejuvenate cording in three days. Funk Velvet with inspiration drawn from R&B straight out of the 60s. “Playing at the farmer’s market is the sweet sounds of the funk era, never planned to record, but hash- funk and rock. Rault and Gilliland For now, Funk Velvet is simply hav- always one of the best times of my it’s Funk Velvet. The musical trio is ing out the album in a matter of both have a heavy jazz background ing fun playing shows and goofing week,” says Gilliland. “This is differ- a well-oiled time machine, offering days proved to be more difficult than and look to emulate their favourite around in a funk band. They don’t see ent, it feels different, it feels better, it their fresh approach to funk revival. they thought. They miscalculated jazz and funk artists, such as The this hobby as a serious career path, at feels good.” vino bitches brew crew Layer Cake Malbec WRITTEN BY Chyana Deschamps Big Rock Citradelic Single-Hop IPA WRITTEN BY Mitch Sorensen

Well, another week has Tiffany’s playing. With a name like With winter’s end in sight, I thought milk, it’s sticky and downright slipped by and you find Layer Cake, you can immediately something dark and perhaps fruity unpleasant. The saccharine berry yourself wandering the isles encompass the carefree class of would lead well into the warmer clashes head-on with the notes at your local liquor store. Row Holly Golightly. Upon opening, season. Just my luck, I spotted a of coffee and chocolate usually after row of brilliant shades it’s love at first scent. Delightfully bottle of Penticton-based Cannery found in a porter. of reds, whites, roses, and decadent, deep chocolate notes Brewing’s Blackberry Porter at my Since it’s only available in peaches, one catches your eye dance their way through the senses local liquor store. 700mL bottles, you have to put and you go forth and reach and imprint themselves to memory Despite all my hopes for subtle up with this palate atrocity it. The simple white label — as this beautiful bottle is as fruit dancing around rich stout for a long time in order to not draws you in, while the stark effortless as Audrey Hepburn. flavours, the resulting taste leaves waste it. In reality though, it is delectable looking chocolate Now it’s time for the important a lot to be desired. The beer pours probably better poured down cake, pairs perfectly with the part, true love’s first taste. Cacao, in a viscous, syrupy way, with a the sink. The cloying fruit indulgence induced in your blackberries, and their earthy wisp of a head coming to the top, flavour leaves an unpleasant, mind. origins of rich soil take the forefront then disappearing quickly. sugary residue on the lips of The most charming aspect of this magnanimous maroon Looking at this glass of dark the drinker, and this is one of this delightful wine, is shaded Malbec. Rest assured, brown brew sloshing around your beer you where you don’t the message on the back behind the scenes is nothing short glass in a manner more becoming want the aftertaste to stick of the bottle. Winemaker of aristocracy — as these grapes of heavy cream than beer, you around. Jayson Woodbridge, tells an were birthed from the bottom of the wouldn’t be blamed for saying it More reminiscent of a endearing story of how his Andes. doesn’t look extremely appealing. cough syrup and lemon- grandfather compares the soil This wine transforms the reality of Once you begin to drink, things lime soda in a foam cup, of the vines to a layer cake, and sweatpants, sweets, and swearwords go even further downhill. Imagine this might be the preferred how properly perfected wines into the lustrous illusion of pearls, spiking your Guinness with a few brew of the experienced should mirror that adage — pansies, and poetry. So, when you’re ounces of IHOP’s blueberry pancake lean drinker. For their part, this alone begins to justify the feeling like indulging in some fickle syrup, and you’ll begin to have a those who prefer things that rattling price of $29.99. Upon fantasies, unravel the layers of your sense of the misery that this beer actually taste good should first read, you can almost imagination while you unearth the brings to the drinker. It coats your probably leave this badly hear the intro of Breakfast at layers of this Layer Cake. throat like a glass of homogenized executed good idea alone. sports 18 thegateway www.gtwy.ca March 16, 2016

Sports Editor Email Cam Lewis/Mitch Sorensen [email protected] Phone Twitter 780.492.5168 @gtwysports

Volunteer Sports Sports meetings every Wednesday at 3pm in SUB 3-04

richard catangay-liew Volley Bears take Bronze at CIS Nationals The Golden Bears Volleyball team didn’t win gold at CIS Nationals for the first time since 2013, but still managed to bring home a medal

Mitch Sorensen in the Canada West semifinal, losing play.” Despite Arnett’s early exit, determined to go out on a win in the Bears squad out-hit, out-dug, and staff reporter @MitchDsorensen in straight sets. third-year Arran Chambers made bronze medal match against the Sas- out-pointed their opponents en The Bears started strong, tram- a significant contribution coming katchewan Huskies. route to a straight-sets victory and a The Bears went into the gym at Mc- pling Trinity 25-18 in the first set. off the bench. With five kills on five “It’s a tough match to lose, and it bronze medal. Master University as two time de- Injuries played a role in the match, attempts as well as two aces from the would be easy to roll over and look Having participated in the CIS fending champions with something however, as All-CIS second team baseline, the 6’8” Chambers did well past (Saskatchewan),” Walsh said. Finals as a player, assistant coach, to prove. middle Taylor Arnett left the game in Arnett’s spot in the lineup. “But for us, it was a matter of pride and now associate coach, Davidiuk After falling in the Canada West in the first set with an ankle problem Despite this, the Bears lost the and character. We came out ready to said he wanted to ensure the players Final Four semis to the underdog and would not return. For his part, next two sets, and had to grind out a compete regardless.” didn’t dwell on the loss. Trinity Western University Spartans, CIS first-teamer Ryley Barnes was win in the fourth to push the match “I’ve lost at Nationals before,” Da- the Bears rolled to a straight-sets vic- playing through considerable pain. to a fifth and deciding set. A Bears vidiuk said. “I don’t want the players tory over the Manitoba Bisons in the victory was not in the cards, how- “But for us, it was to be as hard on themselves as I was bronze medal game to punch their ever, as the Spartans took the final a matter of pride and on myself in that situation. They tickets to the CIS Tournament. “(Barnes) was so hurt, frame 15-11, and relegated the Bears need to go forward as people and Arriving in Hamilton, Ontario, the he could barely walk and to the bronze medal match. character. We came athletes.” Bears were seeded sixth out of eight couldn’t hear.” Davidiuk said his team wasn’t ef- out ready to compete Moving forward is the plan for teams in the finals, and matched up fective at shutting down tournament regardless.” Bears Volleyball, as Davidiuk said it against RSEQ champions Laval in Brock Davidiuk MVP Blake Scheerhoorn, crediting will take only a few weeks before the the quarterfinal match. With an im- golden bears volleyball associate coach a tough serving performance and brett walsh team is back in the weight room and penetrable block and a very efficient strong Spartans block for nullify- golden bears volleyball setter building themselves up for next sea- .403 team kill percentage, Alberta “(Barnes) was so hurt, he could ing the Bears’ potent offence. Walsh son. In terms of goals, Davidiuk said steamrolled the Quebec champs in hardly walk and couldn’t hear,” echoed his coach’s sentiments. Compete they did, as the Bears one thing stands out in the minds of a 3-0 win. Bears Associate Coach Brock Da- “They served the ball really tough, stormed out to a 10-1 lead in the all the players and staff. In the semifinal came the chance vidiuk said. which they didn’t do against us in first set against the Huskies. Call- “I think we want to be contenders for the Golden Bears to avenge their Adding that Barnes picked up season,” Walsh said. “That put us ing that part of the game “flawless,” for a national title again,” Davidiuk loss against the Spartans. Though a nasty ear infection and had out of system a lot, which let their Davidiuk said that after that point, said. “Our goal is to be successful, the Bears won both matches against significant injuries in both knees, block form.” Saskatchewan began chipping away and a lot of the time with this the team from Langley, B.C. in the Davidiuk commended Barnes for Despite the heartbreaking loss in at the Bears’ lead. Despite an at- program, that means going for a regular season, they were pummeled “putting himself through hell to the semis, Walsh said his team was tempted Huskies comeback, a calm banner.” thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 sports 19 Puck Bears head to Halifax as underdogs The Golden Bears hockey team is seeking their third-straight CIS National Championship this week, entering the tournament as the No. 6 seed

Cam Lewis the next three seasons after that, The path to that goal will begin rience against the X-Men, or any of the series against Saskatchewan. editor-in-chief @cooom they were unstoppable, plowing on Thursday as the Bears take on the teams they’ll possibly be facing The losses ultimately boiled down through the playoffs each year and the hometown St. Francis Xavier in the tournament aside from the to the team being exhausted both The Golden Bears hockey team is earning top rank at the 2013, 2014, X-Men, who come into the tourna- Huskies. physically and mentally. charting some unfamiliar territory and 2015 National Championships. ment as the third seed after earning Lajoie said in order to prepare “After seeing them compete as they head to Halifax for the CIS This year, the Bears will check in a sweep over the heavily favoured for teams they aren’t familiar with, against Saskatchewan, I think the Men’s Hockey National Champion- as the sixth seed, qualifying for the University of New Brunswick Var- him and the coaching staff need biggest thing isn’t motivation, it ship this week. tournament as the runner up from sity Reds in the Atlantic University to study videotapes and alter their was the physical and mental rest,” The tournament itself isn’t some- Canada West. While that doesn’t Sport (AUS) finals. systematic play and preparation ac- he said. “With the opportunity thing the Bears are unfamiliar exactly have the same ring to it as cordingly. that’s presented itself, I know that with. They’ve been to the big show “top seed” does, head coach Serge For the players, though, it’s the this group is going to be ready.” in each of the past three years and Lajoie said that the players on his “Things haven’t same as it always is. They need to The tournament begins on Thurs- they’ve taken home the gold medal team have kept their spirits high changed regardless look back on their own games and day with the Bears taking on the X- twice in a row now. The unfamil- and their mind on their goal. of the Saskatchewan highlight the aspects of their play Men and the Huskies battling the iar part of the experience for this “They have a lot of pride and our that they can focus on. Carleton Ravens. On Friday, New group is the fact they’re coming objective was to win Canada West,” weekend. We still have to “We don’t have to fix anything. Brunswick plays the Western Uni- into the tournament without the he said. “It’s not like we took those win three games to reach We understand how to play,” he versity Mustangs, while the Saint label of “top seed” attached to their losses lightly. It’s a sign of maturity said. “If we want to position our- Mary’s University Huskies play the chest. to keep everything in perspective our ultimate goal.” selves to win a championship, we’re top seeded University of Quebec at Earlier this month, the Bears and I think that’s what our team Serge lajoie going to really have to pay atten- Trois-Rivières Patriotes. were swept in the Canada West Fi- did.” golden bears hockey head coach tion to details and play the game All games will be played at Sco- nals by the Saskatchewan Huskies, “Things haven’t changed regard- the right way.” tiabank Centre in Halifax and both marking the first time they hadn’t less of the Saskatchewan weekend. Since the Bears only play teams Lajoie also iterated that there of the semi-final games and the been crowned Conference Cham- We still have to win three games to from their own conference, they wasn’t anything specifically wrong gold medal game will be broadcast- pions since the 2011-12 season. In reach our ultimate goal.” don’t have any head-to-head expe- with the way his team played in ed nationally on Sportsnet 360.

JOSH STORIE ruilin fu Hoop Pandas take down MacEwan, earn berth at CIS Nationals

Richard Catangay-Liew The Pandas will be the No. 6 seed bounds per game, behind the Hus- the three-point line in the regular nior class. “Just let your game show. news editor @richardcliew in the CIS Women’s Basketball Final kies’ 41.9 per game clip. They’ll need season, shot just 22.7, 23.8 and 15.8 They’re all great players and they’ve 8. Their 2016 National Champion- to control the defensive glass, as per cent in their three Canada West all contributed to our success. Just It was a long six-hour bus ride back ship appearance will mark their Saint Marty’s averages 14.5 offensive playoff contests. The Huskies mean- relax, let it fly, and see what the re- home for the Pandas basketball third straight bid for the Bronze boards per game, fourth-best among while, allowed just 61 three-pointers sults say.” squad. Baby, which has eluded the program CIS finalists, in contrast to Alberta’s all season, best in the nation. While this year’s CIS field won’t see After Alberta’s bittersweet 66-55 since 1999. 27.7 defensive rebounds per game. “We gotta’ get more open looks for the Windsor Lancer’s vie for a sixth bronze medal win over the MacEwan Standing in their way is the Atlan- teammates and be more focused to consecutive national championship, Griffins on Saturday, they boarded tic University Sport champions and be able to knock those shots down,” the Pandas still have an uphill climb a team bus from Saskatoon back to No. 3 seed Saint Mary’s Huskies (19- “It’s all about that Edwards said. “A lot of them the last to the Bronze Baby, with top-seeded Edmonton. The Pandas’ 78-68 semi- 1), who eliminated the Pandas from best effort we can put couple games, we’ve been good at McGill Martlets and No. 2 seeded final loss to the Saskatchewan Hus- the 2014 CIS quarterfinal round. getting shots, but they haven’t been Saskatchewan Huskies in the fold. kies the night before bounced them The two cross-conference contend- together for Thursday falling. But what matters for Edwards from a guaranteed trip to nationals. ers last met in the pre-season, as the to get us through to that “I don’t know. Maybe moving out and the Pandas is all that’s in front There was little time to celebrate, as Pandas fell to the Huskies in a 71-64 next round.” of our conference will help. We really of them right now: getting a win all that was on their mind was the overtime loss during the Dalhousie haven’t shot the ball well lately.” against Saint Mary’s. Anything else, CIS panel of coaches in charge of Centennial Tournament. scott edwards Edwards will be looking to his se- and they can look forward to another selecting the final wildcards for the While the two teams, who placed pandas basketball head coach niors and graduating players to help long, quiet trip back home. national championship round. in the CIS Top 10 all 13 weeks of the shoulder and shore up that some of “We’re not talking about any po- That restless night was nerve-rack- regular season, haven’t each other “If we rebound the ball well, we that offensive load. Fifth-year Pandas tential games beyond Saint Mary’s,” ing episode for Pandas bench boss since their pre-season meeting, Ed- can get out on the break and get Renee Byrne and Megan Wickstrom Edwards said. “What matters for our Scott Edwards. Their championship wards said after examining the tape, some easy baskets, which takes a lit- who shot 34.2 and 34 per cent from staff is getting ready, and getting our hopes came down to a final phone rebounding will be especially impor- tle bit of pressure off our half-court beyond the arc, along with starting athletes that mental preparation. call from the CIS committee, which tant Thursday. offence,” Edwards said. point guard Jessilyn Fairbanks, will “It’s all about that best effort we would determine their fate. The Pandas, who are known for The transition game could take have their final chance at a national can put together for Thursday to get On Sunday at noon, Edwards got their high octane offence which more pressure off the Pandas’ recent championship this week. us through to the next round. And the call. ranks second in the nation (72.7 struggles from deep. The Pandas, “We just told them to enjoy the then we can worry about that next “We’re in,” he told his team. points per game), average 39.8 re- who averaged 35.2 per cent from moment,” Edwards said of his se- opponent.” sports 20 thegateway www.gtwy.ca March 16, 2016

Legitimate tips for how to pick a winning bracket

Cam Lewis a bracket after you’ve accepted the from there. And, of course, if you they’ll really be pouring their heart that’s your Final Four. If you drew editor-in-chief @cooom fact you don’t know what the hell don’t want to actually put thought and soul into this tournament. four teams from the same side, put you’re doing. into it, drawing from a hat is always a The guys from Yale are probably just those four in a hat again and do Let’s just be honest here, you have no Don’t pick Gonzaga: They’ve good way to go. busy planning how they’re going a re-draw for ultimate supremacy. idea what you’re doing. Why would never won the tournament, and they Pick teams from whichever to invest their $1 million allowance Keep doing this until you have a solid you? It’s goddamn college basketball. probably never will. Whenever you school you would rather go to: this summer, while the players from Final Four, and work backwards from It’s a crapshoot at the best of times, pick the team from the school in Spo- Okay, so we’ve given up on analysis Baylor know deep down that their there. and the 64-team tournament over a kane with the wacky name (for that at this point and we don’t want to Sociology degree isn’t going to take Fuck it. Fill out multiple brack- span of a couple weeks magnifies that exact reason), they always let you cheat or leave it up to chance, so them anywhere. ets: Yeah, that’s right. The more you reality even further. How on earth down. They’re ranked high because let’s base this thing on the schools Just flip a coin: Still can’t decide? shoot, the more likely you are to score, could you know who’s legitimately they play in a weak-ass division and they represent. Think about it for a When you get down to the nitty-grit- right? This is a tactic you can only use better between between Xavier and their stats are inflated, so they seem second. Schools are recruiting players ty of No. 8 vs No. 9 seeded games in if you’re filling out brackets by hand. Villanova right now? Did you even like a good dark horse candidate to go from high schools across the country the first round, you’re pretty much I mean, you can fill out a dozen brack- know those two schools existed? Can all the way. But they aren’t. They nev- to play for them. So if a school has a guessing anyways, so let Jesus take ets online, but then everyone’s going you even name a player on one of er are. This is the only real piece of ad- scenic campus, great frat parties, and the wheel. This is pretty lame, yeah, to see them. When you fill out a doz- those teams without looking? vice I’ll give you. Please, don’t make a worthwhile student newspaper, the but it’s better than sitting there for an en paper copies, you can throw them Don’t get too caught up in trying to this mistake. Don’t pick Gonzaga to best players are going to be attracted extended period of time and trying to away as they get busted and keep the be perfect and expect the unexpected. go any further than the Sweet 16. to commit to that program. Think convince yourself there’s a legitimate best ones going, so when people ask It’s impossible to pick a perfect The Final Four is the most im- about it from your perspective. Would reason as to why you would choose if you predicted an upset, you’ll have bracket, which is why Warren Buffet portant thing: Picking the right you rather go to USC or Providence? Saint Joe’s over Cincinnati. paper evidence. was offering a $1 billion prize for teams to make it to the end of the That isn’t an easy choice in terms of Draw four teams out of a hat: Actually, it’ll probably be easier anybody who could pull it off. That tournament is the most important a one-and-done basketball game in This is a better version of the coin to just change your answers as being said, there are still ways you part. Getting an upset or two in the the National Tournament, but it’s a flip tactic. Write down the teams who you go: If you’re too lazy to fill out can fudge the system and impress Round of 64 doesn’t mean a hell of a pretty easy choice in terms of schools, actually have a legitimate chance of multiple brackets on paper, then just your friends and coworkers into lot in terms of scoring, but guessing a so that should tell you something. grinding their way to the finals on a do one and change your answers on thinking that you’re either some kind perfect Final Four will have you pret- Pick teams from schools with individual pieces of paper and put all the fly. The key to pulling this off is of prophet or basement-dwelling ty much guaranteed one of the best lower academic standards: On the of them in a hat. So this means ax- either using a really light pencil, or gremlin who watches hours upon scores in your group. So if you’re go- other side of that coin, the players ing out No. 16 and 15 seeded teams, using the team’s abbreviations. It’s hours of students playing sports. ing to actually put time into research- who play for garbage schools probably Gonzaga, and teams led by a fresh- easy to swap COL for CON on your Anyways, here are some sorta kinda ing these teams, figure out who the have less of a chance of landing a man that’s overly emotional. Once sheet if you goof and pick Connecticut legitimate tips on how to put together best one is from each region and go sweet job once they graduate, so that’s ready, draw four teams and instead of Colorado.

i fucking love march madness Do you also love March Madness? photoshopped by cam lewis thegateway www.gtwy.ca Volume 106, Issue 29 sports 21

What does your bandwagon choice say about you as a peron?

Steven Andrais planet by biking to the scenes of crimes many parties if you’re always telling sports staff instead of driving. Although your everyone that “liquor is not meant to intentions are good, sometimes you fail be consumed through an enema”. Or Astrology remains man’s greatest to properly convey your message. Your asking if “everyone has been tested tool in understanding the human self-produced play, “Mother Nature: within the last calendar year?” Sure condition. I can tell you from Sexy and Single” was panned by both these are probably fair points, but that experience of it’s value. Just the environmental and women’s rights doesn’t mean anyone wants to hear other day I cut off a stranger after groups. But that didn’t bother you. them. Try keeping them to yourself. hearing of his recent birthday. I You’re as a free spirit, as shown by the North Carolina Tarheels: told him, “if you think we’re going fact that you wore sandals at all three of You’re proud of your working class to have sex, you should know your wedding ceremonies. background. You constantly post our cosmic signs don’t align”. He Michigan State Spartans: You sepia tone pictures of industrial responded, “what”. “Aquarius love working with your hands. factories on instagram with captions is famously promiscuous” I said Unfortunately, it can be tough to find like, “Granddad probably worked raising both eyebrows, “but they are others who share this same enthusiasm. there #Humbling”. Having a truck is not sexually compatible with Aries” Maybe you just need to change up your a huge part of your identity. You once It’s this kind of knowledge for strategy. Strangers probably don’t like justified running a hatchback off the reading people that I’ve brought to this you running your hands all over their road under the pretence that it didn’t article. And as you’ll see, your choice vehicle and telling them, “A car is a lot have enough hauling capacity to be says a lot more about you than you like a woman you know.” If it were up to considered a vehicle. might have thought. you, you would always enter a room by Miami Hurricanes: You love Kansas Jayhawks: You’re sliding out from underneath a car. attention. You only ride in cars that traditional. Part of you wishes players You take great pride in being tough. have a sunroof for you to stand up still had to go up and get the ball out You’re always making sure people and scream out of. You once sang an of a Peach Basket in honour of Dr. know this about you even though few original twelve minute long ballad at Naismith’s dream for a game that ask or care. You believe that the only a Kareokee bar. You threw yourself taught and promoted ladder safety. way to get a woman’s hand in marriage down a staircase at your sister’s baby People may not always respond is to first pin her father in a wrestling shower to protest how much attention positively to this old fashioned side of match. A long time ago, you decided her son was getting. In short you love you. Like that time you went on public that sleeves were holding your arms drama, which can be exhausting for television and described women who back from fulfilling their full potential. people around you. That’s probably drive while menstruating as a “public As a result you’ve ripped the sleeves off why so many of your close friends safety issue.” everything, including your dress shirts. have mysteriously disappeared, only You don’t go about things quietly. Duke Blue Devils: You have a to re-emerge years later with a new When you support something you great sense of pride in yourself. When name and social insurance number. make sure people know. This can bringing up your accomplishments, Kentucky Wildcats: You don’t come off a bit annoying sometimes, you always talk about yourself in the stay in relationships long. Even when like how you kept bringing uncooked third person. You’re a shameless self- you’re committed to someone, it corn to your friend’s potlucks as a promoter, constantly telling people feels like a pit stop until something way of showing your support for local about your projects. You friends live better comes along. This attitude farmers. You rub people the wrong in perpetual dread at the thought isn’t completely unjustified, you’re a way sometimes, but there’s a myriad of they’ll eventually run out of excuses hot topic! People are always vying for tweets you’ve posted that suggest you’re for why they haven’t seen your one your attention, and that’s not always not “paying attention to the haters.” man show, on the life and times of a good thing. Like the time that your Oregon Ducks: You love the Nelson Mandela. High School Principal started wearing outdoors, as made evident by the Utah Utes: You’re a fairly boring ripped jeans a day after he saw you in fact you keep getting locked out of person. Despite having over 128 GB of a pair. your house. Your style is all about storage, the only thing you’ve put on And that’s just one of the reasons functionality. In fact, your closet is your iPod is Atlas Shrugged as read you don’t see the value of school. full of cargo shorts and vests with the by Jon Voight. Even your wardrobe You’re always bringing up the fact that words “Hike Leader” embroidered on is boring. You couldn’t place an exact Bill Gates didn’t go to college. Sure the breast pocket. You’re reflective. date on when it happened, but one that’s true, but the same could also be It saddens you to think that people day you looked in your closet and said of your Uncle who “accidentally” are inside on their computers when realized every piece of clothing you posted a picture of his dick on they could be outside enjoying their owned was beige. instagram. This is lost on you since you phones. Knowing that, it seems fitting that see stardom in your future. You value You live an environmentally friendly you always have to be the voice of celebrities above all else. You’re the lifestyle, and want others to do the reason. Being level-headed isn’t a bad type of person who follows everything same. You’ve petitioned DC Comics for a trait, but consider your setting when the Kardashians do, but still publicly Batman movie where he helps save the applying it. People won’t invite you to complain that they’re famous.

kevin schenk diversions 22 THEgateway WWW.GTWY.CA March 16, 2016

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