7 - Weekender: Friday, May 1, 2009 Take me out of the ball game, no rah rah, sis boom bah for me Loyalty to one Calderon? Who would I Persians have played the game since the days large, mindless, comforting groups. Behaving team is hard to justify. be fooling? of Genghis Khan. At first blush, buzkashi looks as a herd (and is there any behaviour more The players are always BLACK It’s not that I don’t like like a less genteel version of . There are herdlike than The Wave, that curious syn- changing; the team can sports. I’m a sucker for 20 extremely tough-looking players mounted chronized group ripple that undulates across move to another city, so ‘N’ grace, stamina and finesse on 20 even tougher-looking . The big spectators in stadiums and arenas from time you’re actually cheering whether displayed by a difference is, there’s no polo ball in buzkashi. to time?) brings us pleasure. The pleasure for your clothes to beat WHITE boxer or a ballerina. My What there is instead is the disembowelled of not having to decide or choose or even to the clothes from another eyes are drawn to the CFL corpse of a recently slaughtered headless calf. think for a bit. city. – Jerry Seinfeld Arthur Black highlight reels unspooling Object of the game is for one team of riders to Humans take solace from mass movements He’s right. Take Mats on the TV over the lunch grab the carcass, fight off their opponents and like that. It’s something that drill sergeants Sundin. The big Swede was captain, heart counter. I’m as thrilled as any other Canadian dump it in a vat at the end of the field. figured out a long time ago. Historian William and soul of the Toronto Maple Leafs for when some apple-cheeked innocent from Sounds barbaric because, dammit, it is. But H. McNeill observed: “When a group of men about eleven millennia. Then last year, in the Bucktooth, Labrador bursts into the media it’s insanely popular in . move their arm and leg muscles in unison for twilight of a stellar career, he opted to sign spotlight and dazzles sports commentators And it’s incomprehensibly violent — so vio- prolonged periods of time, a primitive and on with the Vancouver Canucks. These days into dubbing him “the next Gretzky.” lent that even the thuggish Taliban banned all very powerful social bond wells up among when you see an arena full of nuts And I can think of few more pleasant ways buzkashi games during their brief reign. them. This probably results from the fact watching the Canucks play the Leafs, it’s like to pass a late spring twilight than to sit on On the other hand, I was present, in my that movement of the big muscles in unison watching a mass spontaneous mental break- wooden bleachers, sipping bad coffee and misspent youth, at Junior A hockey games rouses echoes of the most primitive level of down. When Sundin grabs the puck you can watching a bunch of kids play . where some of the spittle-speckled, profanity- sociality known to humankind.” sense the Leafs fans suppressing a lightning But a loyal team supporter? Of profes- shrieking goons in the stands would not have bolt of joy (“Go, Mats! No — Wait!”) sional, millionaire athletes? Nah. I don’t care looked out of place at a buzkashi victory Which helps to put a few modern anom- Meanwhile Canucks fans are trying their if I’m watching the New York Yankees or parade. Fandom does not often bring out the alies in perspective. Anomalies like, well, The darndest to cheer for Sundin but they’ve the Medicine Hat Mud Hens; the Montreal best in folks. Wave. And buzkashi. And Fox News. hated this guy, helmet to skate blades, for Canadiens or a Canadian Tire pick-up squad. But it’s natural. Humans, like sheep, spar- And the sight of the captain of the Toronto most of their lives. And suddenly he’s on I’m there to see a game, not to become a reli- rows and herring, have a tendency to gather in Maple Leafs in a Vancouver Canucks jersey. their side? It’s like finding out Dick Cheney is gious disciple. really a lovable, long-lost uncle. Extreme loyal fans — the certified berserk- At least that’s how I imagine it must feel. ers who scream themselves hoarse, paint their I have to guess because I never received faces in team colours and shave their heads to BURNING QUESTION the fan gene. I wouldn’t consciously don an tease team logos out of their hair follicles — Edmonton Oilers sweater or a Blue Jays ball scare the hell out of me. They always make Send your answers to [email protected] or [email protected] cap or a Raptors windbreaker. Why would I? me think of buzkashi. Do I look like I’d be comfortable sitting on Buzkashi is to Afghanistan as the World Are you happy with the way health officials have been handling the the Oilers bench, playing shortstop behind Series is to America; as the Stanley Cup Roy Halladay or shooting hoops with Jose playoffs are to Canada. Afghanis, Turks and swine flu outbreak? Changing outlook for workforce IN RESPONSE TO LAST WEEK’S QUESTION CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 All of this raises questions. Given all that Should the District help fund costs for the operation of a new archives It argued that growth, when it comes, will has happened and may well happen in the building in Muskoka? months ahead, should government be con- be too feeble to stop unemployment rising Yes, the District should help fund the cost for the operation of a new archives build- and idle capacity swelling, and for years most sidering bailouts for any struggling industry in ing in Muskoka, definitely! It’s a facility we urgently need to keep our valuable history of the world’s economies will depend on gov- the current economic climate? Or would the intact. It’s a shame that little has been done before now because some of our history has ernment spending. money be better spent in protecting retired already been lost. This scenario includes jobless rates that worker pensions, support for unemployed Nick Turnbull reach double-digits and then stay there, the workers or start-up assistance for new green Bracebridge onset of deflation that pushes down prices industry? and wages, and soaring public debt as the There are no easy answers, but I sure hope inevitable result of prolonged stimulus spend- Yes, Muskoka does need an archives (building). I could ramble on for pages about ing and the growing costs of cleaning up the those who represent us are giving these ques- the importance of preserving our history and how much is lost because we do not have financial mess. tions the serious consideration they deserve. archives. Heather Coupland Bracebridge LOOKING BACK...

BACK IN THE DAY. The first rail station in Gravenhurst was located south of Main Street and west of Muskoka Road, near where the Shoppers Drug Mart parking lot is now located. The station received its first train in 1875. It burnt down in May 1913 and became a junction site. The new station that still stands opposite Gull Lake Rotary Park was constructed in 1919. (Photo courtesy of Gravenhurst Archives)