522 1 - 7 October 2010 16 Pages Rs 30

#522 1 - 7 October 2010 16 pages Rs 30

KIRAN PANDAY 9 going on 10...

fter the ninth abortive parliament. But the two threatening Indian investors anything. Bijay Prasad Mishra of attempts to elect a new communists can’t agree while at the same time getting the Nepal Bar Association says: A prime minister on having an alliance, either. his deputies to sweet-talk “The Speaker alone can break this on Thursday, it doesn’t look Poudel’s only achievement Delhi. deadlock. He should not be mere like the tenth vote on 6 October so far is that he has prevented Neither Dahal nor Jhal Nath spectator, and use his special will yield a result either. a Maoist-led coalition Khanal of the UML can become privilege.” Ram Chandra Poudel won’t government from winning. prime minister unless Poudel The NC has preconditions get the required votes to become Many in the NC fear the country withdraws. Both communist to withdrawing Poudel’s prime minister, and if that will drift towards dictatorship chiefs know this, and are candidature that includes happens the caretaker if the Maoists return to power. therefore pressuring Speaker demobilisation of Maoist government will remain till Maoist Chairman Pushpa Subhas Nembang to end the fighters, and a commitment to after Dasain. Even though this Kamal Dahal withdrew in the election process and amend a democratic constitution. The has become a one-horse race, last round, but he is desperate regulations by using his special Maoists have said in recent days Poudel can’t win since the to be back on the saddle. He powers. Nembang has so far they are willing to be flexible on p 6-7 Maoist and the UML command feels India is dead against him, refused, but pressure is growing the NC’s demands. A deal is still Go fly a kite a majority in the 601-member and is using carrots and sticks: on him to do something, possible. 2| 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 PUBLISHER’S NOTE MERRY GO ROUND ere we go again. to demobilise Maoist Nepalis will be forgiven fighters and get the party to Hif they feel like a behave like a civilian hamster on a wheel. This is entity, it is important to history repeating itself as a have a new democratic mockery of democracy itself. constitution. If we throw our Ironies abound. The same hands up in the air and political actors who bayed for stop caring, we may very blood and demanded the well end up as an resignation of Madhav Kumar authoritarian people’s Nepal are calling for the NC’s republic. The eccentric Ram Chandra Poudel to power transfer happening withdraw from the one horse in Pyongyang this week race in parliament. They want shows where that can lead him to withdraw “so as to us. facilitate a consensus”. Does We need to find a way that ring bell? It should. out of this rut. Here, the Even after taking the Speaker’s role is crucial notorious short memories of and it is definitely more our politicos into account the KIRAN PANDAY than that of a ceremonial UML’s Jhala Nath Khanal and bell-ringer. The Maoist Chairman Pushpa Kamal Dahal should remember is why he is clamouring for it. But if Poudel withdraws after majoritarian formula to form a new government may be they repeated those exact words all of May and June. So, a package deal with the NC, Dahal’s prospects improve. perfectly within his terms of reference, but it is not working. gentlemen, where is the consensus? It has been said here before, and our reportages these A national consensus government till the constitution is The problem, of course, is not between the NC and the past issues reveal, that Nepalis are now past caring. written is the only logical way to resolve this now. Maoist, or the UML and the NC so much as between Despite the cynicism and negativity fostered by the Khanal and Dahal themselves. Khanal is spooked out of quarrelsome politicians, however, it is important to care. It his wits that Dahal may strike a separate deal with the NC. is important that we get a new government, it is vital that a Khanal’s chances are best if Poudel stands down, which budget be finally passed before the holidays, it is important

ON THE WEB www.nepalitimes.com

MONGREL NATION young people away from Maoist recruiters practised. We can provide scores of have proved that they cannot govern or Re: ‘Nepal emerging as a rainbow to the safety of the cities, where they were anecdotes and stories (even faced by achieve anything at all without the nation’ by Rubeena Mahato, #521. I free to mingle with other ethnicities without ourselves and humiliated to this day) to Maoists, so ultimately they will have to am Marwari and my wife is Newari. I the rigid social structures of the rural areas. prove this. The article is wishful thinking accept Maoist leadership, whether they am a Jain and she is Buddhist. We Kenji towards a utopian society…and doesn’t are happy about it or not. The onus is not call ourselves Nepali, and life is present the full picture of what is on the Maoists to satisfy the failed peaceful and couldn’t be better. A 600-word piece interviewing a few happening in rural Nepal. parties and be given space by them. Thanks for a very interesting and families in some cities does not prove that Anuj They have already taken the space they timely article. We need to bring ‘the trend towards inter-ethnic marriages is need to be able to reach the poor positive aspects of our country helping knit together Nepal’s social fabric’. The VDC map of ethnic composition is majority. The onus is on the other parties in front. To call an entire country a rainbow nation a good picture projecting the present to find a place for themselves in a society Manu needs spending several weeks reporting situation of the country. Good work NT to that intends to move beyond the status extensively, including the far-flung places, put it with the article. There is not a single quo. We’ve seen the rapid change in and then coming up with such a conclusion. VDC that is mono-ethnic in the whole of Pressuring the Maoists to accept an attitudes toward caste and ethnicity in Anup Nepal. Our multi-culturalism is our biggest Indian and Nepal Army veto is futile. Why Nepal via personal experience. 30 asset. Its fair and festivals are celebrated not pressure their opponents to accept years ago when my Newari wife’s Thank you, Rubeena Mahato, for a by all communities. They have been democracy? oldest sister married a Magar compelling story about Nepal integrating marrying inter caste for a long time but now Arthur gentleman, they were socially itself even though the politicians and due to the forward looking trend and ostracised, and there were no extremists are trying to disintegrate it. You working together males and females this is ASININE elaborate wedding festivities. Ten have illustrated the growing trend towards accelerated. So many Nepalis are working I would like to nominate the Ass for the years later when my wife and I inter-ethnic marriages with some fine and residing in foreign lands, this has led Foot in Mouth Award herself/himself for married, this gora guy was welcomed examples like the Poudyal, Dali, Shrestha, to acceptance of inter-ethnic marriages. the asinine comment last week that This shows the true spirit of new Nepal. ‘stoppage of 14 hydroelectric projects DG that together would generate 5,000 MW’, for effectively implying that the load PRASHANT JHA shedding problem in Nepal will not be I am sorry but aren’t these questions that mitigated due to the stoppage. As most of Prashant Jha should have asked at the these projects are dedicated for export, time of signing the 12 point agreement back Nepal’s load shedding problem will be in Nov 2005 and before that? (‘Round and impervious to these being built or not. round in circles’, Plain Speaking #521). These are being planned to be built to Here you are dealing with a country whose mitigate the load shedding problem character you seek to change and you across the border; in contravention of enter into an alliance with a terrorist Nepal’s constitution. organisation without as much as asking the Ratna Sansar Shrestha very basic question? into the family, although we still and Subba families. There are hundreds of Slarti attracted stares as we walked others like them, and in all classes of together around Kathmandu. In the society. A very positive and hopeful read. I guess they all thought we will cross Weekly Internet Poll # 522 intervening years, her cousins have Kiran L that bridge when we come to it. Concluding Q. What do you think of the prospects for married Chettris, other-religion the peace process within four months may foreign investment in Nepal today? Newars, and there was a Slovak We have no problems with whom we be highly unlikely, but Jha’s analysis is Total votes: 1,697 wedding too, and nowadays no one live, but these so-called politiciasn make it incomplete. Whether the anti-Maoist gives my wife and me a second an issue out a personal family matter and parties agree to a constitution or not, they glance when we’re out and about in take advantage by spoiling our have already proved that they cannot rule the Valley. Some of the credit for this relationships. I request all Nepalis to reject Nepal and lost support from the great rapid change is probably due to the their political agenda. majority. Certainly the middle class Maoists, both for their efforts to uproot Anil Bhattarai minority and its international supporters the caste system and gender are important, and building a new Nepal discrimination in the areas they We must accept and realise that the will be much harder if the Maoists are Weekly Internet Poll # 523. To vote go to: www.nepalitimes.com controlled, and for causing a flood of caste system is still prevalent and unable to persuade them to join in. But they Q. How many elections in parliament before we have a PM?

THIS WEEK

Round eight The eighth round of PM Unreported reportages election also failed to elect a new prime minister on Sunday. Lone candidate Ram Chandra Poudel of NC Huge swathes of society fall in the media blindspot secured only 116 votes in his favour out of 189 votes. Two lawmakers voted be the mainstay of divorced from the masses than against him and 71 stayed livelihood of the the much-maligned government. neutral. UCPN (Maoist) and FOURTH ESTATE poor: they sold Newspapers are awash with UML abstained from voting. C K Lal their goats to advertisements announcing the traders from the launch of multiplexes, bumper No EC campaign Four Madhesi parties– MJF, hills as the sale of branded goods and MJF (D), TMLP and inally, it’s official. A aquatic catch marketing schemes promoting Sadbhawana Party have legislative committee has from rice fields cars, motorcycles, furniture, and decided to obstruct the concluded that the rate served as household appliances. It’s ongoing Election F savouries with natural that the media of deforestation over last one Commission’s campaign to year has surpassed the record millet bread. downplays reports that can update the electoral roll in of last three decades. The tradition spoil the endless partying in all Tarai districts from In 1979, random forest continues to be Kathmandu. Monday. The parties say clearance was allowed to marked a day Political parties that swear that thousands of Tarai people would be deprived ensure the victory of status before the Jitiya by the poor should have the festival. A famine- ability to redirect the attention from their voting rights if quo in a plebiscite held to citizenship certificate is like situation this of the media towards those who decide the fate of the made mandatory to acquire Panchayat system. Back then it year, combined have no way to get their stories a voter card. The EC has was the fear of the Nepali with privatisation into television channels. been collecting finger prints Congress that destroyed trees, of the commons, Unfortunately, the only time and computerised pictures this time the barbarians at the meant that the political parties hit the of voters in the list door are the Maoists that must poor have headlines are when they are distributing new voter cards. be stopped in their tracks at nowhere to fish. collecting donations. It has made it clear that the all costs. The This season’s extravaganzas ongoing drive to issue voter The UML-led anti-Maoist compensation began with the Nepali Congress ID cards will not stop. coalition has used logging the government jamboree. The UML-affiliated th gave them was student union’s carnival is 12 NC Convention profits to buy the loyalty of The 12th Nepali Congress announced as a next, to be followed by Maoist supporters. The audience of General Convention that the mainstream media had no day off for revolutionaries feting their elected 33 new faces, inkling of the scale of Madhesi women: party chairman with one-lakh formally concluded on devastation because national a group with strong general assembly. Monday. Gagan Thapa newspapers, radio and negligible Newspapers will be publishing bagged the highest vote of television channels were too presence in the cases of threats, intimidation all candidates contesting the busy tracking the antics of formal and pressure tactics used by 25 CWC seats allocated for politicos or preparations being employment. organisers to raise funds. Rest open competition and 14 made for yet another Miss The national assured, nothing reported seats for under zonal category. The convention Neighbourhood beauty media can’t examine would be convincing enough to such issues because take the matter to the courts. elected Shushil Koirala as pageant. the party president, Prakash it hardly has any If it is any consolation, the Agriculture which Man Singh as general employs over two-thirds of presence outside of degeneration of the fourth estate secretary and Chitra Lekha Nepalis is also sidelined in the district capitals. into stenographers to power is a Yadav as treasurer. the media. Much is made out Apparently, the global phenomenon. Nepal is of the fact that rural press is even more merely the newest entrant. electrification, mobile phones and satellite transmission of television channel has reached some of the remotest corners of the country. Few stories explore the angst of those left out of the modernisation and marketisation trend. Villages need irrigation facilities, credits on easy terms, extension services, educational and health centres, fertilisers, seeds, sanitation and administrative services. All they are being given is a chance to buy DTH services so they can watch commercials of luxury items they can’t afford. The community broadcasters of the FM revolution promised far too much than they could deliver. Most of them ensure their survival by playing popular Hindi and Nepali songs. In the name of news, they relay what donor-funded producers of Kathmandu dish out to them. It’s not just the misery, even survival stories from the countryside could have made the urban consumers of the metropolitan media aware of the harsh realities of the country they live in. In the floodplains of Tarai, an abundance of fish once used to 4|DEVELOPMENT 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522

PICS: KIRAN PANDAY Chatting with my best friend

CLAIRE COZENS such problems in Nepal,” says afraid to tell anyone because of helping the government former presenter Kaustuv Pokhrel, the stigma.” formulate policy on young who now works behind the At the offices of Equal Access people. SSMK’s success has he presenters of the hugely scenes. “The show was designed Nepal, the organisation that inspired Equal Access to export popular radio show Sathi so it felt like your friend talking produces the show, the shelves the idea to other developing T Sanga Manka Kura (SSMK) to you in a non-judgemental way. are packed with letters from countries including Cambodia, are barely into their twenties, but The hosts talk about anything troubled youths. All are kept and Laos, and most recently Yemen. Ten years already they are having to tackle under the sun, sexual and neatly filed away in folders In Nepal, a new generation of some very grown-up issues. reproductive health, career or bearing labels such as “How to young presenters who themselves after it From the young girl raped by study concerns, family problems, propose”, “How to deal with listened to SSMK as teenagers her own father to the 17-year-old whatever.” rejection”, and “How to say no”. have recently taken over on began, a boy abandoned by his family SSMK’s format has barely But as mobile phone usage has the show. after contracting HIV, SSMK changed over the years: two young exploded in Nepal, young people Having benefited from its pulls no punches in dealing with presenters, the “best friends” of are increasingly choosing to advice, they are all too aware of radio talk the difficult issues faced by the show’s title, discuss listeners’ communicate by text message. the importance of getting it right. young Nepalis. problems before introducing a Until recently, between 1,500 “I loved listening to SSMK program The show, whose name short drama in which solutions and 2,000 letters would come in but I never imagined I would one translates to ‘Chatting with My are found. But the content has every week. But listeners are day be presenting it,” said host for young Best Friend’ was launched in evolved to reflect the changing increasingly favouring the Swarnima Shrestha, 22. “It’s hard 2001 as part of a campaign by concerns of its listeners. immediacy of SMS messages and work, and we’re under constant Nepalis UNICEF to raise awareness of the “After a couple of years we emails, as the way in which pressure because people take risks of HIV AIDS among young began receiving letters young people communicate what we say so seriously.” is still a people. Nearly a decade later, it complaining that we were changes. Sabin Singh, 25, began his remains required listening for focusing on small issues when the Earlier this year, UNICEF SSMK career as an actor in the big hit young people across the country, country was in such a bad launched a new free SMS service dramas before graduating to and six million tune in every situation,” said Pokhrel. “We had to allow listeners to send in their hosting. He attributes the show’s week to listen to its unique blend letters from young people who views. A website entitled “Voices popularity to its ability to of discussion, music and drama. had joined the Maoists and were of Youth” was set up to reflect connect with teenagers on their “Before SSMK started, there afraid to leave, and even from girls their submissions, on questions own level. was no tradition of talking about who had been raped and were too ranging from how to prevent “The listeners feel that this teenage pregnancy to how to deal show is theirs,” he says. “It’s very with bullying and harrassment. much a two-way process. That’s “The response was why they trust us, in many cases overwhelming,” says UNICEF more than their own friends and spokeswoman Rupa Joshi. “We family.” expected it to start with a trickle and grow, but from the minute we SSMK is aired on Radio Nepal launched the service the every Saturday at 3.30pm and on floodgates opened and we realised over 30 FM radio stations. this had immense potential.” More than 14,000 messages equalaccess.org.np/ were sent in the first week of the saathi-sanga-manka-kura trial program alone, and UNICEF is now looking at how the nepalitimes.com responses could be used in The power of one, #87 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 BUSINESS|5

Mobile internet ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Ncell has launched an internet data card called Connect. The data card is priced at Rs 1,999 and the SIMcard at Rs 99. Once connected to the USB port of a laptop, desktop or Mac, the data card automatically installs the required software to connect the network. Ncell has introduced the service in three packages. For customers with minimum internet needs, Ncell has a package of 500MB that costs Rs 499 per month. The medium size, 1,000MB, with the same validity period costs Rs 899 and the large size, 5,000MB, costs Rs 3,999. The pack can be renewed at a reduced rate of 2 rupees per MB. Ncell’s Connect offers the highest internet speed of 3.6Mbps in areas with 3G network.

Insured paints ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Asian Paints has launched ‘Asian Paints - Jeevan Rakshya’ scheme for painters. Under this scheme, every painting contractor or painter who accumulates certain points by purchasing Asian Paints products will be eligible for on the job insurance worth Rs 50,000 to Rs 200,000.

Booking open ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Bajra and Shangrila Residency has inaugurated the Residency Apartments at Thadodhunga, Sanepa. Booking for the apartments is now open with prices starting at Rs 2,799,000.

Real run ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ The 4th Real Kathmandu Marathon 2010 will take place on 2 October. The marathon will start at Tripureshwor and end in Dasrath Stadium. Participants can choose to run the full length, half length, 5km or just 3km.

Freezing offers ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Navin Distributors, authorised distributor of Whirlpool products, has introduced Whirlpool’s Protton Series refrigerators. The Protton 3-door refrigerator has three distinct cooling zones for different cooling needs. Buyers of Protton refrigerator will take home a Whirlpool 20 litre Solo microwave oven for free during the festive season.

Macro delivery ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Sagar Infosys has completed delivering the Baleyo micro laptops to those who had booked it at the ICT Trade fair in July. Sagar Infosys had received more than 10,000 bookings for the micro laptops that were priced at Rs 6,500, exclusive of tax.

QFX launched ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Quest Entertainment has launched a new brand for its theatres- QFX Cinemas. Jai Nepal and Kumari will now be known as QFX-Jai Nepal and QFX-Kumari respectively. QFX will soon be opened at Civil Mall in Sundhara.

Wiz kids ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Maureen Almeida from Kendriya Vidyalaya and Rinkesh Basnet from Pacific Academy won the Horlicks WizTeams 2010 held at Army Officers Club. The two, along with one more student, will represent Nepal in Horlicks WizKids South Asia 2010 in November in Bangalore, India. The Winners of Horlicks WizKids South Asia 2010 will get an opportunity to represent South Asia in International Youth Initiatives.

New showroom ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ SB Furniture has opened a new showroom in Lazimpat. The showroom will showcase products of SB Furniture and Koncept brands. SB Furniture is a ISO 9002 and ISO 14001 certified company with its factory in Thailand.

Prize car ○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○ Bama Motors handed over a Chery QQ3 model car to Miss Nepal 2010 Sadichha Shrestha. The car had been promised to the winner of the pageant. Nepali changas at the Fighting Kite KITE World Cup in France

RUNNERS s Kathmandu gets ready for the Dasain kite season, Aour own national team has just returned from participating in the 30th Fighting Kite World Cup in Dieppe, France. The skies over the Channel city blazed with colourful kites from all over the world. What the lokta ladaku changa from Nepal lacked in flashy colour and exotic construction, it more than made up by its maneuverability and fighting spirit. “The Nepali changa outpaces every other kite in terms of its ability to dive, dodge, spin and soar,” says Nirmal Man Tuladhar, who has been leading the Nepal team for more than a decade. Listed among the 300 biggest world events, in all categories taken together, the Dieppe festival presented all the kite disciplines. LIFE TIMES 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 7 How to make a Nepali Fighter Kite

ACE PILOTS: Nirmal Man Tuladhar (left) runs with his Nepali kite at the biannual kite festival in Dieppe, France, recently. Tuladhar holds a Materials needed: huge lokta kite with his partner A split bamboo of 3 mm trimmed to 1.5 mm for a bow stick. Rajesh Shrestha A split bamboo of 2 mm for spine stick. (right). Two bamboo sticks of 1.5 mm for a beard (tail). A sheet of lokta paper of 8 gram. A glue stick. Elaborately designed and from Nepal. could make the best of this exposure artistically painted kites from But the festival offers its by soaking in the spirit for Construct your own kite out of lokta paper. China, Malaysia, Europe, India, and participants more than a platform innovation and creativity, perhaps Spine stick (length) : AB = 45.5 cm US competed for supremacy. Nepali for showcasing. Each time it is held, by reviving the distinctive feel and Wing (width) : CD = 53.5 cm kites stood out for their unique Tuladhar and his partner Rajesh look of Nepali kites to start with. Side wings : AC – AD = 36.5 cm feature of being one of the few to be Shrestha are treated to a world of The kite jamboree is organised Beard (tail) : EK – FL = 7 cm flown mainly to fight. limitless imagination. The skies at every two years and this year it was GE – GF = 11 cm th EB – BF = 7.5 cm Lately, our own skies have been Dieppe explode with colour and the 16 Festival. GB = 10 cm dominated by the “Lucknow” shape, becoming a gallery of flying Shahani Singh Bridle : AS = 8.5 cm changa with their frilly and frisky artwork. SH = 22 cm avatars. Tuladhar wants to revive The festival also offers www.dieppe-cerf-volant.org/dccv/ IH = 20 cm ukaccueil.html IB = 14 cm the tradition of the lokta changa, opportunities for cultural exchange, Fold over the wing : C – D = 14 cm x 1 cm and says the Dieppe championship where kite fliers attend each other’s Bow stick : 65 cm was the perfect place to showcase workshops, encouraging the fusion nepalitimes.com the amazing flying machines of ideas. Us kite lovers at home Soaring and Sparring #264 8|LIFE TIMES Sita revisited

t was Lord Ram’s victory over pariksha for instance, has been Ravan, the redemption of his viewed by most as a meek I honour at restoring the dignity submission to her husband’s of his clan, that we will be demands. Few see it as an act of celebrating this Dasain. Nepalis defiance and rage at Ram will worship his prowess at doubting her in front of millions. warfare and good Dharma. We Hence, the question: Has the will also remember Goddess name ‘Sita’ become synonymous Durga, whose spirit was evoked with ‘docile’ and dutiful’? Or has to grant the victory of good over her name retained anything of her evil. Sita stands beside Ram in assertiveness like when she posters, statues and carvings. But stubbornly followed Ram to his our neglect of Sita is ironic when exile? The essays and interviews we analyse the psyche of most in the book ‘In Search of Sita: women in modern-day South Asia Revisiting Mythology’ by and how predominant her Malashri Lal and Namita Gokhale experiences are. explore these and other questions Sita is absent in our prayers, with regard to this mythological and has been misrepresented as character, also engaging in well as misunderstood by readers dialogues of feminism today, the of Ramayana. Her assertive Search of Sita: relation between social qualities have been downplayed Revisiting mythology movements and women’s status, in several instances where she edited by Malashri Lal & and the interpretation of Sita in makes an appearance in the Namita Gokhale texts across South Asia. Ramayana. Her taking the agni Yatra/Penguin Books, 2009 SS For quiet lunches

t is quite impossible to find a restaurant in Kathmandu that does not have I momo, chowmein or chicken chilly on its list of servings. But this is a welcome absence on Chai Chai’s menu, prompting you to taste its unique recipes. One of the recent additions to the Jhamel restaurant lane, Chai Chai serves a blend of Asian and Continental dishes. Don’t be misled by its name, tea here is available just in its regular variations. But do step in for Illy coffee and a range of KIRAN PANDAY refreshing cold drinks. Start with Vietnamese spring roll and try one of Chai Chai’s most popular quick light meal and there are yummy desserts in dishes, Chicken with sweet balsamic sauce and offer. Chai Chai has a quiet ambience for lunch and brown rice in the main course. The home-made dinner meets. The bar serves a selection of local and bagel sandwiches served with soup and potato salad imported liqueur but you might go elsewhere if you is also a good choice. The portions of the starters are looking for a cocktail night. and the wrap are perfect if you are looking for a PM

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Resort. Every Saturday, Gokarna Forest Kakori at Soaltee Crowne Plaza, Kebabs, EVENTS Resort, Gokarna, 4451212, curries and more, enjoy Indian food at its [email protected], Rs. 1500 plus taxes best. Everyday 7pm to 10.45 pm for dinner, Soaltee Crowne Plaza, Tahachal, call The Café at Hyatt Regency offers 4273999 for reservations A People War Exhibition, Nepal’s conflict vegetarian buffet. Every Tuesday from history in pictures. Every day except 6.30pm, Hyatt Regency, Boudha, 4491234 Dhokaima Cafe has a new menu, try the Tuesdays, 11am to 4pm, Patan Dhoka. For Blackened Norwegian Salmon and Grilled school visits, call 5549948, Arabian Nights in The Cafe, taste the Shrimp Ajillo. Patan Dhoka, 5522113 www.apeoplewar.com culinary delights from the Middle-East. Every Friday from 6:30 pm onwards, Screening of The Desert Eats us, directed Hyatt Regency, Boudha, 4491234/ by prize winning documentary maker 4489362 GETAWAYS Kesang Tseten. Friday 1 October, 4.45pm, Nepal Tourism Board, Bhrikuti Boudha Stupa Restaurant & Cafe, enjoy Mandap wood fired pizza with the superb view of Boudha stupa on the backdrop and free 13th ASA Annual Architectural Exhibition, wifi, candlelight dinner options are also exhibition by students of Architecture at available for the romantics every full Pulchok Campus, students works, designs moon night. Boudha, 2130681 and many more. 1 to 3 October, Institute of Lazimpat Gallery Cafe, screening of Paa, Lhasa Bar, enjoy a beer or a splash of Engineering, Pulchok featuring Amitabh Bacchan in a challenging cocktail at this springboard for excellent role of a kid. 1 October, 6pm onwards, young musicians starting out on the Baul Music and Songs, the Indian Cultural Lazimpat Gallery Cafe, Lazimpat Thamel circuit. Thamel, 985101043 Centre presents performances by Shri Prahlad Bramhachari, a renowned Baul singer from Kolkata, India. 3 October to 6 MUSIC October, inauguration by Indian The Dwarika’s Himalayan Shangri- La ambassador Rakesh Sood on 3 October in New Orleans, Live blues, folk and Irish Village Resort, overnight package with Rastriya Naach Ghar, Jamal, 6pm, 4412018 music and singing on acoustic guitar. This accommodation, dinner and breakfast. Saturday, 7 pm, New Orleans, Patan Dhulikhel, Rs 3500 (Single), Rs 5000 (Double), 10 percent service charge extra, Moksh, live music by Baja Gaja. Every call 4479488 for reservations Tuesday, 7.30pm onwards Moksh, Pulchok, 5526212 Tiger Mountain Nepal, special Dasain & Tihar offers for expatriates and Nepalis at Fusion Bar, Dinesh Rai and the Sound all lodges and camps (Tiger Tops Chitwan, Minds playing live. Every Friday, 7pm Bardia and Pokhara Lodge), call 436 1500 onwards, Dwarika Hotel, 4479448 for reservations, [email protected] Sunday Jazz Brunch, enjoy a relaxing Sunday in The Terrace at Hyatt Regency with barbeque and live jazz music by Inner Groove. Every Sunday from 12pm to 3.30pm, Hyatt Regency, Boudha, 4491234/ 4489362

The Colours of Silence, Glimpses of DINING Mustang, photographs by Italian Restorer Luigi Fieni. Till 24 October, 5.30pm, Siddhartha Art Gallery, Baber Mahal The Kaiser Cafe Restaurant & Bar, enjoy a Revisited, Gallery hours: 11am to 6pm, pleasant BBQ lunch in the ambient settings 12pm to 4pm on Saturdays, 4218048 of The Garden of Dreams. Every Sunday, 12pm to 3pm, Kaiser Mahal, Thamel, Cycle 4: Selfie, photo exhibition by 17 Rs 1200 per person, 4425341 young amateur photographers. Till 23 October, Galleria CUC, Momo Magic, Saturday BBQ Brunch, enjoy mouth Pulchok watering Mongolian BBQ at Gokarna Forest 10|HAPPENINGS 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 Mountain warning

from hangover symptoms, they push themselves and try to DHANVANTARI headache and nausea. But if you ascend higher. Water collection descend a few hundred meters, in the brain (high altitude Buddha Basnyat, MD you may feel these symptoms cerebral edema, HACE) or in the subside. With AMS, it is likely lungs (high altitude pulmonary that you will get better if you edema, HAPE) occur, as water he trekking season is upon don’t go any higher, or descend seeps out of the blood vessels in us, and it would be wise to right away. these organs due to lack of oxygen T remind ourselves of the Peer pressure, an overriding brought upon by the inability to warning signs of altitude ego, or wanting of their money’s acclimatise properly. Symptoms sickness. Consider acute worth from the trek can make of HAPE and HACE thus mandate mountain sickness (AMS) to be a people with AMS go in denial of immediate descent (by foot, yak, red flag. As you trek at about their weak condition. Dangerous horse, a porter’s back, or a 2,500 m or higher you may suffer complications ensue when helicopter). KIRAN PANDAY Preventive aspects of “Lekh TALL AMBITIONS: Nepal's shortest teen Khagendra Thapa Magar, who Lagne” (altitude sickness in has been working to promote NTY 2011, prepares to pose with Miss Nepali) include the practice of Nepal 2010 winners at a press meet organised by NTB on Friday. listening to one’s body. The sea level rule of “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” clearly does not apply at high altitudes, and strong and silent ‘John Wayne attitude’ would be life-threatening indeed. So don’t rush up the mountain. Drink adequate fluids (about 3 liters per day), do not sleep higher than 300 to 500 m from the previous night’s altitude, take a rest day every third day of your trek, practice the “climb high sleep low” technique, and take 250mg of diamox (acetazolamide), if you don’t have sulpha allergy, two times a day if necessary. KIRAN PANDAY

MODERN BABAS: Sadhus rally outside the CA building on Sunday before the PM election, protesting against inflation and unemployment. GREEN SCENE LEDing light

hen electroluminescence was discovered consumption which makes it ideal for solar- in1907, it was little more than a scientific powered lighting during load-shedding. There are W curiosity. It took another 70 years for now several companies manufacturing solar- light-emitting diodes (LED) to come into use and powered LED lights for remote parts of Nepal. found an application in infrared equipment and as “We designed them for use in Humla, but the red lights that made up counters in early because of winter power cuts more and more are calculators. being sold in Kathmandu itself,” says Dharmendra But in the years since LEDs have become an of Lotus Energy that installs solar lights in remote important component of lighting equipment in area monasteries and homes. KIRAN PANDAY torches, emergency lights and even traffic signals, The other advantage of LED lighting is that they PYRAMID OF PEOPLE: The Kumari's chariot takes its final tour at vehicle brake lights, and outdoor street illumination. last up to 40,000 hours: four times more than Basantapur on Monday, marking the end of Indra Jatra. Unlike incandescent light bulbs or fluorescent tubes, fluorescent tubes and ten times longer than LEDs use very little power as electrons hit holes incandescent. LED lights are also very small, and within the device to create electroluminescence. can give any colour light depending on filter WEEKEND WEATHER The main advantage of LEDs, which is of used. by NGAMINDRA DAHAL relevance for us here in Nepal, is their low electricity “The main plus point is that it saves power and it doesn’t use mercury and other harmful After a sputtering start and a vigorous climax the monsoon has finally withdrawn after three months. chemicals,” says Anil Karki of Illuminium The rains came one month late, and most of the Enterprises which markets exclusively customized precipitation was in August and September. June and July registered an average 50 % deficit, while LED products. August and September were above average in most The popularity of LEDs is growing, the only places, especially western Nepal. The Valley’s precipitation total was normal, although rice deterrent is the initial cost which is slightly higher planting was delayed till mid-July. The southward than CFL. “But the payback comes from the energy migration of the jetstream has caused the westerlies to blow away the moisture bringing in bright clear savings,” explains Karki, whose company has sold days. There will still be some afternoon buildup all billboard floodlights with LED at the new Civil over the mountains and some drizzles in the valleys and snow flurries till about 4,500m. Mall. Other clients include Chaudhary Group, Jagadamba Press, Gyanodaya School. A ten-light system with 30-watt LED KATHMANDU (equivalent to 150W of halide fixture) will cost Rs 170,000. This is nearly double of what it could cost to have metal halide lamps, however the initial expenses are made up for one-and-half years. LEDs also have a much FRI SAT SUN longer lifespan. www.illuminium.com.np www.lotusenergy.com 30-16 29-16 29-15 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 SOCIETY|11 Old leaders of New Nepal We are an incredibly young country, the leaders are incredibly old

POLITICALLY octogenarian ex-president of the party, but age gap between the median age of the CRACKED at 72 he is among the lucky 3.7 per cent of population and their leaders is higher in the population that goes on to live beyond developing countries whereas opposite it Indu Nepal 65 years of age. Not to forget the fact that true for developed countries. No surprise the total median age in Nepal is 20 years then that 40-year-old Ed Miliband was old. We are an incredibly young country. elected the leader of the Labour Party in the t was hard to shake off the feeling of The leaders are not. UK this week. déjà vu as the picture of Sushil Koirala More than half of the newly elected There is also a direct relationship Ion his hospital bed peered from the NC’s Central Working Comittee are above between a country's rank in the failed states front pages of the newspaper the day after 50. A majority of the ‘youth’ members are list and the age of their leaders, as some of his election victory as Nepali Congress’s above 40, only five are below 40. The NC the oldest leaders in the world will testify: new leader. calls itself a serious challenger to the Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe, Egypt’s He was admitted to the hospital with a Maoists. When the Maoists led the president Hosni Mubarak, Cuba’s Raul case of pneumonia merely hours after he government in 2008, the party sat in the Castro and Kenyan president Mwai Kibaki was announced the president of the party. opposition “to play an active role in the and Burma’s Than Shwe. Candidates fielding for major political constitution-making”. It wanted to Age is just a number, Indian Prime leadership positions may not have to preserve freedom, analyse the government’s Minister Manmohan Singh might say, who present a clean sheet of medical report here, drawbacks and shape policies. Now, its 66- in his 78th year is steadfast in thoughts so we should perhaps be happy they issue year-old senior leader Ram Chandra Poudel and physical movements. It is also true pictures of themselves smiling as the is vying to lead the government. Democracy that with age one acquires a wealth of nurses tape intravenous drips on their is supposed to be about choices, freedom, experience and wisdom. wrists. After all, they make Frank Delano and hope. Old patterns, however, are still alive Roosevelt look like a big scam artist. At its General Convention, however, the and well in our political system and while You can treat sickness, but not old age. NC showed it was unable to move with the there is the chatter about New Nepal, it Sushil Koirala may seem like a newly times, unable to adapt to the changing would serve us well if the old indeed gave hatched chicken compared to the reality. A recent report pointed out that the the new faces a chance. 12|ENVIRONMENT 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 Once there was a leopard

NIRMAL GHOSH

DEHRA DUN – Most species depend on human goodwill to survive. The public’s imagination is caught by charismatic megafauna – big bodied species, mostly mammals, which are instantly recognizable even to the man on the street. These include tigers and lions, orangutans, gorillas, whales, dolphins and elephants. Looking cuddly like the Giant Panda also helps. All these species face an uphill battle for survival – but perhaps none more so than the large bodied predators, some of which, like crocodiles, do not appeal much to the general public. What they are up against was dramatically illustrated last January when students training in camera-trapping of wildlife in the sprawling wooded campus of the Wildlife Institute of India (WII) near the north Indian city of Dehra Dun and close to the forests of Rajaji National Park, detected the presence of a leopard. It was not the first leopard to have come through the grounds. Thinning habitat and vanishing prey across India have driven leopards to the margins of their preferred habitat. In some cases, human habitation has come to them, leaving them with little choice but to live in a human-dominated landscape: sometimes in fear and conflict but mostly in peace. Many of the students and faculty at the WII, were delighted at the leopard’s presence. As scientists working for wildlife conservation, coexistence of people and wildlife is at the heart of the issues they grapple with. To have a leopard, a species now quite severely endangered, on the premises was to many, an endorsement of everything the WII stands for. Not quite, however. Many in the area, including families of general staff members, were afraid of the leopard. Children had been instructed to stay indoors after sunset. After much debate the director of the WII apparently decided to have the leopard, a female with cubs, driven out of the sheltering scrub and woodland. Parts of the scrub were cut down, and parts burned. In the process the leopard, cornered, severely mauled two people. One faculty member wryly remarked that it was a case of ‘’people attacking the leopard’’ and not the other way around as claimed by local media. The leopard had lived in the vicinity for some time raising her cubs, without attacking anyone until the attempt to evict her. The incident sparked outrage in conservation circles. If the WII could not tolerate a leopard on its premises, then what right could conservationists and scientists have to preach co-existence with and tolerance of wildlife, to communities living in and near forests? Many predators are what biologists refer to as keystone species. A keystone balances the opposing forces of an arch, without it the structure will wobble and collapse. Predators perform much the same function in the food chain. Remove a top or ‘’alpha’’ predator and its prey species will multiply, with cascading consequences for the rest of the ecosystem. Some conservationists maintain that co-existence of humans Nepal’s year with large predators like tigers, is simply not possible without conflict - which the tiger will, like the WII leopard, of course lose. Tolerance for wildlife has diminished, across the world and also in Asia.

Nirmal Ghosh is the Thailand correspondent for The Straits Times, has written books on Indian wildlife and is a Trustee of The Corbett Foundation A longer version of this comment is on www.nepalitimes.com. www.indianjungles.com of the leopard

The spread SHAHANI SINGH of midhill he leopard mother and cub forests is had wandered into the T garden of a house in Dhapasi bringing one morning last year. Locals raised the alarm, and the cornered mother the spotted was shot dead when it tried to break out. The cub was finally darted and cat in caught, later set free in Shivapuri National Park. increasing Man-leopard encounters have become increasingly common in conflict with Kathmandu and across Nepal as the success of community forests has humans led to a revival of wild animals, which enter habited areas in search of easy livestock prey. But most encounters result SNOOZE: The leopard cub that had in tragedy, either for the farmers climbed up a tree at a residence in who lose goats or chicken, or for Dhapasi last year gets a dart in its flank (left). It was later relocated to the leopard. Shivapuri National Park. A leopard In Kathmandu, the Central Zoo that was darted and rescued after has a darting team, but they usually it strayed into the city takes a nap arrive at the scene too late because at an enclosure in the zoo at of systems aren’t in place for quick Jawalakhel (top). deployment. RABI THAPA 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 ENVIRONMENT|13

KIRAN PANDAY

“There hadn’t been a clear their mothers because she may mechanism for a rapid response come back looking for them. team,” admits Sarita Jnawali, However, the leopard is much less director of the Central Zoo, “a zoo’s well studied than tigers and not a actual role is to take care of the lot is known about their territorial animals within it, not capture those competition and other habits. in the wild.” There has been a study of tiger- Since Kathmandu did not have leopard confrontations in Bardiya an official wildlife rescue team, the National Park, but there hasn’t Central Zoo agreed to take up the been much research into encounters role. It has now hired an with humans. experienced wildlife vet, and a Since it has been thrust by mobile tranquiliser team. default into the role of rescuing Naturalists say that the reason leopards, the zoo has provided a for frequent leopard incursions is grant to a student from Tribhuvan paradoxically Nepal’s success in University to study leopard protecting its forests. The leopard, incursions for his master’s thesis. being the apex predator makes With better knowledge of why forays into the outskirts of leopards are leaving their natural Kathmandu or into villages when habitat, a reliable rapid response it is driven out due to competition, system and better public awareness, or due to depleting prey. leopard encounters in future need The problem is that most locals not end in tragedy. panic when they see a leopard, and think it is a man-eating tiger. Shanta Raj Jnawali at the National Trust of LEOPARD IN Nature Conservation says this YOUR GARDEN? spooks the leopard which then tries to defend itself. Leopards generally avoid people, and don’t bother z Don’t try to drive it away them if they aren’t disturbed. But by making noise hungry leopards have been z Don’t raise an alarm known to attack children if they are z Don’t separate cub from old or injured and can’t hunt mother traditional prey. “If you sees a leopard, you z Don’t panic the should not disturb the animal,” neighbourhood advises Jnawali, “walk out of the z Call the police or Central house, lock it and wait for the Zoo’s Rapid Response rescue team.” Team (5528323) Rinjin Shrestha at the World z If leopard enters house, Wildlife Fund Nepal advises lock it up against separating the cubs from 14|FROM THE NEPALI PRESS 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522

Gautam for president Risking their lives to go to school Mahesh Acharya in Kantipur, 30 September Nagarik, 27 September students die as they try to cross the river. We haven’t been able to conduct our classes properly.” He adds that the students and the NEW YORK: Nepal has increased its lobbying for Kul Chandra Come monsoon and students and teachers of teachers would suffer less if there was a bridge Gautam’s candidacy for the president of UN General Assembly Kota Tulsipur VDC of Kailali are compelled to on Kada river. next year. Gautam is against the Qatari ambassador to the UN who put their life at risk every day to attend classes. “We cannot come to school when it rains,” has himself launched a spirited campaign for the post. Nepal is Their school, Shree Secondary School, lies on says Nirmala Kathariya a student of the school. promoting Gautam through formal and informal gatherings and the other side of Kada River. In absence of a She adds that if it starts to rain they leave their meetings. Those attending the current GA session have been bridge, the students wade and swim across the classes and rush home. discussing the merits of Gautam’s candidacy at the side-line river to reach their school. In 2007, seven According to the school, every monsoon, a programs. students were swept away by the river and since majority of students of lower classes are absent. then, every year, two students have been killed Established in 1972, the school has 1,500 Home Minister Bhim while crossing the river. students out of which 1,200 students are from Rawal forwarded Gautam’s Principal of Shree Secondary School, Kota Tulsipur and need to cross to river to attend name for the prestigious Laxmi Prasad Bhattarai, says: “Every year their classes. post at the 65th UN General Assembly. Using this opportunity to meet the head of states and the officials of the member countries, Nepal has been requesting them to support Till when? Gautam for the post. Caretaker Prime Minister Editorial in Naya Patrika, 28 September Madhav Kumar Nepal has also been meeting the ambassadors of different countries in Kathmandu to promote The drama of the eighth round of PM elections has Gautam. also ended. Despite being the only candidate, Gautam’s friend and East Timor’s President José Ramos-Horta Poudel was unable to garner the required majority. endorsed Nepal’s candidacy at a dinner reception organised by His refusal to give up means that such meaningless him in New York this week and requested the nations for elections will continue without a winner. The support. He introduced Gautam as the “Asian candidate”. ninth round on 30 September is a futile exercise. Minister Rawal confirmed that Iran, Yemen, Solomon Poudel has a moral obligation to withdraw and Islands, Nauru and other countries have agreed to support search for a new process. A group has been arguing Gautam’s candidacy during the G-77 and LDC meetings. that since Poudel is the only candidate, he can be announced a winner. But this argument ignores the Since the tradition is to elect the president unanimously, the constitutional provision that the prime minister has to have the majority support in the parliament. These Asian region representing 53 countries will have to nominate series of meaningless elections have overshadowed the more important issues of the country. It is simply Nepal or Qatar by June 2011. the question of who will take the chair and it seems that every party is taking a selfish stance. Madhav Kumar Nepal’s resignation will soon complete three months. To not have a new prime minister in such a long period shows failure on the part of the political parties. This is an interim period where the focus should be writing the constitution and nurturing democracy, not fighting for power. Why can’t our big MPs hiding pins leaders understand this simple idea? Gorakhapatra, 27 September Madan Puraskar CA members are so ashamed of who they are that they have stopped wearing lapel pins. They are being branded as failures in the public eye, and there has been outrage that they are pocketing an allowance despite their inability Kantipur, 23 September paralysed from the waist down. Wheel-chair to draft the constitution on time. bound, he had been working on the book for the UML MP from Siraha, Ramrati Ram was humiliated last 10 years. Saud graduated in agriculture from twice in his home district when recognised as a CA member. Mahendranagar- Nar Bahadur Saud’s happiness Palampur in India and started work as an officer in He says that people have been commenting about “useless knows no bounds after receiving Nepal’s most the National Agriculture Research Council. He was CA members” in the CA premises itself. He has stopped prestigious literary award, Madan Puraskar, for a working as a Technical Officer of Dairy wearing his pin in public. book that he wrote in a bedridden state. Development Corporation before the accident. MP from Chure Bhawar Ekta Party, Keshav Prasad The 48-year-old Saud’s ‘Nepal Ka Balinali Ra Saud is writing a book about mushroom Mainali, has a similar experience. He was called a “Greedy Tinko Digo Kheti’ (Agricultural Crops of Nepal farming now. “Every farmer should be given basic MP” near the gate of the CA building by some strangers. and Their Sustainable Farming) has been chosen education on agriculture,” he says. Saud lives with Mainali, however, says he will never hide his pin. as the recipient of this year’s coveted award. his parents and sisters 10km north of Dhangadi. UML MP Naradmuni Rana keeps his pin at home and makes do with his “I am extremely happy,” he said, “my hard His wife, who left for her parent’s home after ID card. The only time where he wore the pins was to enter the CA building work was recognized, a book from the far west Saud’s accident, hasn’t come back. Saud’s win during two elections for the prime minister. was selected and a book about farming was finally has delighted his parents too. Saud’s father said: MP Chabbilal Bishwokarma says that once people see the pin they ask given due recognition.” “He used to write day and night. He has made us “a thousand questions” and are rude. “It is better to stay incognito,” he says. A road accident two decades ago left Saud proud.”

I will plunge into the race, alone ! I plunged !

Abin Shrestha, in Kantipur, 27 September 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 FROM THE NEPALI PRESS|15 To the streets

Interview with Maoist hardliner national sovereignty. Is it true that you are So the party’s plan of Mohan Baidya “Kiran” in The party has an unequivocal pushing for a new political action is yet to be Janadisha, 28 September voice regarding the issue of formula? consolidated? national sovereignty. No one is This is not true. If we limit to We already have a general plan against the movement. We have to being a democratic republic, what of action: to establish the Janadisha: What is the finalise the modality of the is the point of waging a ‘People’s People’s Republic, to take the purpose of the Extended movement. war’ for 10 years? India has a People’s Republic to a new Meeting next month? democratic republic but the level, to launch the movement Mohan Baidya: At a time when But didn’t the party fail to movement is going on. We have to of national sovereignty the constitution writing process continue the struggle? institutionalise the democratic effectively, and to address the is underway, a conspiracy is being At a time when we are engaged in republic system but we should problems related to livelihood. hatched to derail it. There are constitution writing, foreign not get stuck right there. We have We are fighting on three fronts: issues of national independence, factor has become visibly active to to go beyond. These allegations the street, the parliament and livelihood, class, caste, region and obstruct the process. Now, against me come from those who the government. The fight in gender upon which the party national sovereignty has been the favour the parliamentary system. parliament is to incorporate should decide its stance. There is main agenda of the party. We said In our draft of the constitution, our ideas in the new also a question of how to make this issue should be dealt with we have mentioned the making of constitution. If the the party revolutionary by first before the others. We have to a People’s Federal Democratic constitution is not written, we defending the issue of class. fight the imperialists and their Republic, which means we will will have to take to the street. agents first to write the not just restrict to being a The extended meeting will It is said the party is constitution, and then address democratic republic. This is the decide how to take the divided in the issue of the livelihood of the people. party’s decision, not mine. movement to the streets. Politics free Editorial in Kantipur, 24 September

The government is on its way to forge deals with several domestic and foreign investors for building seven mega hydropower projects. But the Maoist decision to stop these projects has raised serious concern about the future of hydropower in the country. It is clear that the Maoist decision to halt operation of five projects with Indian and Nepali investment is politically motivated. In DAMBAR K SHRESTHA fact, some of these projects had been given permission for feasibility studies by the Maoist-led government itself. The Maoist decision has come at a time when its leaders have been publicly complaining about how India has hindered them from forming the government and this can’t be mere coincidence. Hydropower which remains Nepal’s biggest hope for economic growth has once more turned into a political weapon. Nepal’s trade gap with India is Rs 17.7 billion, that deficit can only be plugged with hydropower exports. A World Bank report pointed out energy deficit as the biggest obstruction to commercial development in Nepal. Power cuts have forced businesses to use diesel generated electricity, which has led to a rise in the production cost. Also, millions of worth of generators and inverters are being imported every year. The cost is passed down to consumers. Last winter there was 16 hours of power cut every day. This year it is likely to be repeated. Instead of exploiting hydropower for political gains, the Maoists should be helping the projects to gather momentum. They should keep national interest above politics and call off their ban at once. 16|BACK SIDE 1 - 7 OCTOBER 2010 #522 Let sleeping dogs lie

fter the roaring success of FG less. Needless to say the children and the Miss Aryan pageant, dogs of Afaldol now face a security crisis. Bikes zoom through our this week it was Mr Hill Next year is Visit Nepal Year, but neighbourhood at a dazzling speed. A www.nepalitimes.com Handsome. The donkey’s it is also the year of the National The primary school at the beginning of congratulations to fellow beauties Census. But animal rights groups the lane especially mourns the loss of Upendra Kumar Ban for being in Kathmandu have pre-empted the beloved bumps. crowned with the BF Dear Hill the human census by announcing Afaldol wants to get its bumps back. We ask the President to give us Handsome 2010 Tiara as well as a dog census in the capital this back our speed breakers before the first and second runners-up, week. All canines in Dogmandu someone gets bumped off. One Dipendra Karki and Bikranta have registered themselves, giving suggestion for His Excellency: restore Shrestha respectfully. Winners details such as breed, age, owner’s the bumps or declare Presidential all get six packs each of Fair & caste and ethnicity, number of Rule. Afaldol Bumps Samiti Handsome Cream (Slogan: “Come litters, and sexual preference, if (Revolutionary) to us if you think life is unfair any. A dog census has never been and ugly.”) carried out before, and the FG FG donkey’s guess is that these three And, in conclusion, some sons of bitches (pictured inside headlines you may have missed And there are two groups short- Singha Darbar this week) were not in this week’s papers: listed for this week’s Only in counted. strong competition from Indian Nepal Knock-out Tournament: and it recommends that tanker FG Extinct Frogs Haven’t drivers can’t steal 250 litres futurists who apparently have a petro-tanker operators and Croaked much better track record for astrologers. Oil tanker drivers anymore. So what do the Here is a Press Release just faxed Man Jailed for accurate astrological forecasts, who bring diesel and petrol from tankeristas do? What they have to us from the Afadol Bumps Microwaving always done: threaten to stop the even better than their the Indian refinery in Barauni to Samiti: Hamster the oil storage depot at supply of gas to the capital. And meteorological forecasts. Our When some time ago the President soothsayers are understandably visited our neighbourhood, Afaldol, to Amlekhganj have been in the what does the government do? It And you must have all read incensed that they are losing open a Ram Temple, we were very habit of siphoning off 250 litres gives in to the demand by the oil about the world’s youngest their following among the excited. That changed when his security from every tanker and passing mafia to be allowed to keep people decided to remove the speed dozer operator, the seven-year- domestic audience. They have that off as “evaporation loss”. At stealing. bumps we were ever so proud of. We old in Dolakha who exhibited threatened an agitation unless the current prices that means the And that brings us to our have no idea what His Excellency’s his dexterity with a Komatsu to cable operators block Indian staff were thinking: how can the bumps tanker tycoons are creaming off Rs telly-astrologers who provide a cheering public. What next, a horoscope programs, failing be a security issue? Were they worried 20,000 for every ferry. Which is citizens with valuable forecasts four-year-old which they will stop their own the President would bump his head why the Ass wants to know why and answer queries from viewers when driving down our lane? Is the man who can fly a astrology programs on Nepali anyone would want to work for a across Nepal. These hourly too delicate to deal with a few ups and Twin Otter? living in this country. Anyway, fortune telling programs are some channels. You don’t need an downs? Asstrologer to prophesise what Whatever it was, when the Nepal Oil Corruption sends an of the highest rated in the land. ass(at)nepalitimes.com investigation team down there Now, our astrologers are facing will happen next. President arrived our lane was bump- ISSN 1814-2613 CDO Regd No 194/056/57 Lalitpur, Central Region Postal Regd. No 09/066/67