Plum Lines

The quarterly newsletter of The Wodehouse Society Vol. 17 No 3 Autum n 1997

gIN G EIN G IN 0V PE ]^A Y

Bv Susan Cohen aka Rosie M. Banks Sea to accommodate the Drones Club Miniature j Tournament. Fortunately, was not there to en­ mong the leading participants of the Wodehouse force sartorial elegance since Chapter One and the A Weekend binge, sponsored by Chapter One of Phila­ Newts dressed to show team spirit rather than what the delphia, were the fat-headed sun and a . The well-dressed person would wear. Chapter One mem­ weather, in the town of Cape May, New Jersey, on June bers wore nautical blue and white T-shirts with nom 2oth-June 22nd, was so devoid of heaviness that there (as in nom de Plum) on front and Chapter name etched wasn’t even a hint of summer lightning to worry about. on back. The NEWTS looked even better, adorned as Forty-five or so Plummics were therefore free to swim in they were in vivid green T-shirts whose noms, chapter the ocean and sun themselves on the beach; catch the cool name, and logo added an aggressively amphibian air to breezes on the glorious verandah at the historic Chalfonte the competition. Capital! Capital! members preferred Hotel; and take pleasant strolls through Cape May, the a more individualistic style of dress, ranging from Victorian B&B capital of the East Coast. The handsome dashing elegance to “the wilted tourist in the Carib­ pewter mug goes to Dan and Tina Garrison o f Illinois for bean who has lost his luggage and been in the same coming the greatest distance, our only TWS bingees to clothes for five days” look. make the trek from the Mid-West. The Tournament was played with For the weekend, Cape May posed as Binglcv-On ruthless precision and hopeless ineptitude on a truly challenging course. Winner: Beanie Blum, who cheated by actually knowing how to play golf. Equally impressive was Hal Lynch who won the prize for being the biggest loser. Ten others gifted in failing at miniature golf won certificates making each an official member of the Wrecking Crew. The non-niblicky sports event of the day was a tough Wodehouse golf quiz created by Dave McDonough and won by Elin Woodger. Since a goodly portion of the weekend was devoted to Plummies stuffing them­ selves on the delicious Southern cooking of the Chalfonte, we felt that the Empress of deserved to be with us. For this reason, Michel, a local French pastry chef known as the Anatole of Cape May, Deviltry’s afoot at Cape May: Egg-and-Spooners setting out. baked delicious cookies in our honor and provided us with a fat Empress of Blandings bread as the center- side of the Chalfonte’s Tin House, where liquor was piece for our Saturday cocktail party on the Grassy stored during Prohibition. The generous individual Knoll. Please don’t tell Clarence that we devoured providing the pick-me-ups was Peter Sinclair. At noon every seed and crumb of that porcine tender goddess. we enjoyed a delicious picnic at the Cape May home of Prizes were show­ David Mackenzie and Hope ered upon Plummies Gaines. Two newt-shaped playing games while breads graced their table. sluicing before Satur­ Lobster and many other day night dinner. tasty and appropriately Knock the Topper Off Wodehousian foods were His Lordship’s Head served. They even had roly- With a Crustv Roll, poly pudding! The weather won by Gretchen was too hot for the planned Worden, and the Egg croquet game, rules accord­ And Spoon Race, won ing to Baxter, so we lolled by Murray Wilson, about; browsing, sluicing, proved popular. Best and chatting. By evening Costume Prize went to most Plummies were en John Baesch who went route to their homes. Only a so far as to bring vin­ small band of us remained, tage luggage to the to pig out one last time at binge as well as wear­ the Chalfonte and spend the ing vintage clothes all evening laughing and dis­ weekend. The prize for cussing the master. best costume of the I think I can safely say that evening went to a marvelous time was had by monocled Ed Whit­ all, or, at the very least, most, taker and definitely and I hope we will have many Deco Karen Byrne. Susan Cohen and the bread Empress more binges. Plummies need Kudos to all the run­ Plummies. Else we are but ners-up whose dress was dandy. Jeeves would have lonely islands in a cold world full of people who have been proud of you. never heard of, or don’t care about, Wodehouse. Now Evening festivities in the Chalfonte’s Sawyer Room it’s on to the Great Chicago Convention, the next mad got off the ground, where, if you must know, a number frantic Wodehouse social round. of us were lying by this time, with an enthusiastic hard sell of the upcoming Chicago convention to shouts of “ Hear! Hear!” from the populace. Professional illustra­ tor Lou Glanzman displayed his sketches for a possible Wodehouse stamp. We gave David and Elizabeth Landman resounding applause for their performance o f “Sonny G irl,” and later led us in a spirited sing-along Nothing so braces a young man in love of Plum’s songs, and of “Sonny Boy.” A reading aloud as the consciousness of having resisted a of “” was the dramatic offer­ Tempter who has tried to lure him into a ing of the evening. All the participants were worthy of course of action which the adored object at least one SRO (no, that is not single room occu­ would not approve; and as he recalled the pancy, as per Bowery flop house; it means standing splendid firmness with which he had tied room only) performance at The Princess Theatre. Extra the can to his ’s suggestion of a roses to Richard Morrissey for playing Cuthbert with pleasant and instructive afternoon in Lon­ flair, and for putting up with a kiss from Daniel Cohen’s don, Pongo felt spiritually uplifted. Vladimir Brusiloff. A reporter was present, to record the rowdy activities of the evening in the Cape May Unde Dynamite, 1948 Herald. Sunday brought early morning pick-me-ups at the

2 Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autumn 1997 qpHE HEIRS OF XPRD £MSWOKIH

By Nigel Farnsworth Care of the Pig, “The sight of pigs with their noses in the trough,” writes Whiffle, “does a man more good than any Methodist sermon.” Francine Kitts found this “ praise of the country house pig’1 in The Care of the Pig, it will be remembered, was Lord Country Life magazine of August 2 8 ,1994. Francine remarks, “ I Emsworth’s favourite reading, and whenever life at found it amazing that Plum’s name wasn’t even mentioned! It threatened to become too interesting is, however, a British publication, and maybe everyone in the he would retire to the library and lose himself in UK is very well versed.1' Whiffle’s prose. In ’s Annotated Whiffle, judiciously edited by James Hogg, it suggests that you ogs look up to us, cats look down on us, but pigs may discover all that is necessary of a man’s character treat us as equals. With this nicety Winston D from his attitude to pigs. “I have compared the advance Churchill summed up the most subtle of relationships: of pig-rearing in this country to the rise of the nobility, that between a country gentleman and his pig. Each so much do the two have in common,” Whiffle con­ takes it for granted that the other understands his cludes. “Like the great families o f the Shires, the aristo­ language. As the naturalist W. H. Hudson noted, the crats o f the sty have qualities which have been the cause pig has about him a natural, pleasant, hail-fellow-well- of comment throughout the world. Both speak vol­ met air, devoid of servility or insolence, which endears umes for the influence of breeding.” him to the English sensibility. And this reputation as a Of the other great writers inspired by the pig— hearty democrat goes some way towards explaining Thomas Hardy, Lewis Carroll and G. K. Chesterton why, down the centuries, the pig has figured large in among them—none comes closer than George Orwell the social fabric of the English country house. in identifying what makes the pig the Corinthian of the If he were alive today, Lord Emsworth—whose farmyard. His political parable Anim al Farm describes devotion to Empress of Blandings, his champion sow, the natural hierarchy that evolves when animals take was legendary—would doubtless recognise some of matters into their own hooves: “The work of teaching the sentiments expressed by his spiritual legatees. The and organising the others naturally fell to the pigs, who former Archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Runcie, for were generally recognised as being the cleverest of instance, rues the busy schedule that keeps him from animals.” his beloved Berkshires. “I wish that I could turn mv j The heirs of Lord Ems worth share an innate under­ attention to such things as tranquil as my interest in standing that, in terms of dignity, personality and pigs,” he sighs. As the Duchess of Devonshire contem­ stature, the pig stands alone. Forget the sly Siamese plates Primrose—a portly Gloucester Old Spot with a sharpening its claws on the 17th-century tapestry, ig­ peppery disposition, who rules the farmyard at nore the simpering Labrador clumsily knocking over Chats worth —she recalls her grandmother’s affection the suit of armour; only a pig can do justice to a for a sow which would go everywhere with her: “She country-house setting. Finicky, stately, contrary, these would even tie it up outside church, like a dog.” omnivorous, even-toed ungulates, with their corkscrew From H RH the Princess Royal, who keeps Glouces­ tails, harmonious contours and curious snouts, know — ter Old Spots at Gatcombe Park, to Sir Richard Body, just as the Empress of Blandings knew—that they, as General Sir Peter de la Billiere, and the 21st Lady of much as their comrades and equals behind the columns Traquair, the pig has many friends in high places. Lord of the big house next door, have a right to be there. Lichfield suggests that one reason for this popularity is Lords of all they survey, rare breeds with impeccable the pacific and restorative effect the pig can have. ancestry, the Tamworth, Gloucester Old Spot and Nothing lifts his lordship’s spirits quite like the sight of Saddleback are confident in the knowledge that an Hamlet, a Tamworth boar who greets him by jumping English pig’s sty is his castle. on the wall of the Wyatt-designed sty at Shugborough, his ancestral home. And at Kentwell Hall, a fine, moat­ * ed Elizabethan house in Suffolk, Judith Phillips takes great comfort in the society of Lucy, a genial, talking Lest the innocent be misled, I’ll point out that the author, in Tamworth sow, whose auburn hair complements the quoting from The Care of the Pig and Lord Emmorth’sAnnotated red Tudor brick of the hall. Whiffle, is actually quoting from just one book: Lord Emsworth’s That pigs are balm to the Englishman’s nerves is Annotated Whiffle; The Care of the Pig, “edited” (actually writ­ confirmed in Augustus Whifflc’s seminal work The ten) by James Hogg. — OM

Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autum n 1997 3 W odehouse Convention Registrations

as of August 1 9, 1 997

T im A n d re w Chesham, Bucks Daniel Love Glazer Chicago, IL George R. Paterson Wilmette, IL R ita A n to n Chicago, IL Sandy Gleaves T ip to n , IA Sushila Peterson Kansas City, MO Jamie Aramini Evanston, IL Paige Goettel Wilmette, IL Michael Petterson Evanston, IL John Baesch Rodemont, PA Jarlath J. Graham Chicago, IL John & Terri Phipps Adamstown, MD Douglas Bellew E x to n , P A Bob & Christina Griffin Mattawan, MI Mani Pillai Chicago, IL Roma Benninghoven Barrington, IL Richard Hanson Seattle, WA Amy Plofker H a m d e n , C T Alekh Bhurke East Lansing, MI Mary Harney Chicago, IL Carolyn M. Pokrivchak E a sto n , P A Anne Bianchi Houston, TX Mary Hartshorn Glenview, IL Max T.K. Pokrivshak W atertown, MA Ann & Leon Bishop Chicago, IL Helen E. Heinrich Stony Brook, NY Erik R. Quick Alexandria, VA Lorraine Bonecki Oak Forest, IL A1 Hershner Wilmette, IL Ed & Helen Ratcliffe F e lto n , C A Harris T. Booker, Jr. Palmyra, PA Michael Hodge, MBE Chicago, IL Ann & Paul Richardson T u c s o n , A Z Susan Brokaw Cincinnati, OH Wilma Hodge Chicago, IL William F. Richardson Auckland, NZ Edward Bronstein Daly City, CA William B. Horn E d in a , M N Tony & Elaine Ring Great Missenden, B o b B ro o k s Evanston, IL Ann Jirousek Chicago, IL B u c k s, U K Nancy & Randall Burkett W orcester, MA Jan W ilson Kaufman Oakland, CA B a rb a ra & B e n R o o k s Evanston, IL Jim & Sue Byham Landenberg, PA Barbara Kawa Chicago, IL James & Joan Rybarczyk St. Joseph, MI Karen Byrne New Britain, PA M erideth Kelley Seattle, WA W illiam Saddler Chicago, IL Ralph Chermak Des Plaines, IL Linda Kessler , NY Britta & Sven Sahlin Osterskar, Jo h n C o ats Chicago, IL John Ketcham Elon College, NC Ron Satterfield Ft. L'dale, FL Charlotte & Richard Cody Chicago, IL Marie & Damian King Edmonds, WA Carolyn Scheierhorn Chicago, IL Daniel & Susan Cohen Cape May Court Kathryn E. Kopf Philadelphia, PA Peter & Antonia Schwed New York, NY H o u se , N J Len & Shirley Lawson Livermore, CA Carolyn Simons Palatine, IL Jerilyn Cohen St. Louis, MO Jon Lellenberg Washington, DC Shana Singerman O a k to n , V A Karen & Louis Constan Saginaw, MI Nicholas Lellenberg Washington, DC M argaret Slythe Faversham, Kent, Anne Cotton South Hadley, MA Emelie & Pat Levenson Culver City, CA UK Ann Coulson San Mateo, CA Frank Lewis D a v is, W V Adrienne Smith Vicksburg, MS Allan T. Devin Bensenville, IL Katherine Lewis Chicago, IL Alex & Irene Snead Chicago, IL Neal De Vos A p to s, C A N in a L ew is D a v is, W V J a n e & Randall Sprague Woodland, CA Susan Z. Diamond Bensenville, IL Marcia & William Libby Ridgefield. CT Jill Spriggs Massillon, OH Anne Dierbeck Glenview, IL Sheila M. Markley C a n to n , O H Bibby Starks Des Plaines, IL Joseph & Kate Dooley Pebble Beach, CA Marilyn MacGregor D a v is, C A Don & Lou Stone D a lla s, T X Winston L. Duke, Esq. Barrington Hills, Justine McKeon Chicago, IL Doug & M argaret Stow 'A Moon Bay, CA IL Charlotte Meloney Daly City, CA M artha Swift Chicago, IL Michael "Barmy’1 Evans Brighton, MA Dean Miller Chicago, IL Jay E. Taub Fair Oaks, CA J o h n F ah ey Somerville, MA Richard H. Morrissey Framingham, MA Jeannette G. Thomas Bala-Cynwyd, PA Sally Fairweather Barrington, IL Helen Murphy L o n d o n , U K Craig Tighe San Mateo, CA Susan Fitzgibbon St. Louis, MO Per Mykland Chicago, IL Jean Tillson Foxboro, MA John Fletcher Maidenhead, UK Robert M. Nissenbaum Bryn Mawr, PA Rick & NatalieTrump Fayetteville, NY Mary Ellen Fornsel Centereach, NY Alicia & Andrea Olin Chicago, IL Gail W agner-Miller Chicago, IL Deborah Fox E x to n , P A Cathy Oliver! Washington, DC Beth & Tom W ainwright Walnut Creek, CA Norma R. Frank Bryn Mawr, PA Dick & Ruth Olson M e x ic o , M O Christina Wasson C h ic ag o IL Dan & Tina Garrison Evanston, IL Eric& Linda Otten Ballwin, MO Jay & Joan Weiss Caldwell, NJ Ann Gentile D u b lin , C A Jelle Otten Deventer, The Edward Whittaker New Britain, PA Johann George Evanston, IL Tina Woelke Chicago, IL Carla Gladstone Washington, DC M .A. Otten-Scholten Deventer, NL Elin Woodger Everett, MA

T O T A L 5 to date: I 55 registered for the (Convention 36 staying at the Inter-Continental I 5^ for the 5 aturdat) £)ancjuet I I 5 signed up for the^unday [Crunch

YES! You can still register for the greatest omnium-gatherum since Boston! But you must act now lest the word go around the clubs that you are a spent force. The Chicago Accident Syndicate are working like pistons to give you the fun of being in heaven without all the trouble and expense of dying. Just use the form provided with this issue of Plum Lines, and don’t forget to phone in your reservation to the Hotel Inter-Continental. For more information, visit the Chicago ‘97 website or contact Dan Garrison (847/475-2235, [email protected]).

h ttp i/'/www.stichicago.com/plum^/.htm

4 Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autumn 1997 What I)o Chicago I — and Till That Jazz Provisional Schedule of Events

Tmirsday, Oct. 2 — dnclc Fred’s Bay on the Town Phe Chicago /\ccidcnt Syndicate will maintain a H elp D esk and B ail ^jondsman at the M otel Intercontinental.

Recommended legal diversions include (Chicago River tours, Navy Pier, the /\rt Institute,

and cruising the M iracle M»lc — all >n easy walking distance o f our hotel. Friday, 0cf. 3 — Doing the Jnfcr-Continental 8:00 AM-+=00 PM Registration and P xhibits 4 :00-^50 PM Reception and kjames: S cripture (knowledge (Competition Round I 6 :7}0 -8:00 PM B r o w s in g & Sluicing on the Tow n 8:00 PM C ity L>t W odehouse performance — a Jeeves double feature! 9:50-10:1 5 A Cl bat with M ark Richard, Chicago’s own p)ertie 10: I 5 S cripture knowledge Competition Round 2 I 0:50-’till you d Party T ime . . . Saturday, Oct. 4 — Kt The Old Stand 5 = 50- 9:00 A M £>racing leverages with (Jkridge: Welcome to Chicago 9 :0 0 -9 : 1 5 Scripture Knowledge Competition Round 5

9 :1 5 Michael D'rda: “W °dehouse and the C ritics”

1 0 :0 0 W'H Richardson: “Wodehouse, Lyricist”

1 0:50 Melen Murphy: “Rosie M- Banks’ Influence on W odehouse”

1 1:15 The P ver-Popular Business M eeting

1 1:45 S cr»pture Knowledge Competition Round 4

12:00-1:50 PM Lunch and A Lew Q uick Ones

1:50 Scripture Knowledge Competition Round 5

1:45 Jon Lellenberg: “Wodehouse Makes A Comeback” 2:50 P e te r S ln c la»r: “ T h e W 'lb e r flo s s p ile ”

5 :0 0 M arilyn M cG regor: “Plumming Sherlock pjolmes: Doyle's Influence

5=50 Peter Schwed: “O n the Creation of ‘Bill* “

4 :1 5 Scripture Knowledge Competition Round 6

4 :5 0 B reak fo r baths, beads, bells, braids, and costumes

6 :5 0 P M Cocktail Tim e (with Toasts to Absent Priends)

7 :5 0 Banquet Toasts and Tributesj Money in the Street

^ Jan Kaufman’s Pashion Show

S cr>pture Knowledge (Competition: pina iw h I

^ T M Cjreat f*oetry

1 0:5° I S aw A Man Who Danced with His Wife — in Chicago! Sunday, Oct. 5 — Browsing and Sluicing at the Sideboard. and Till That Hot 9-< i A M T Issue-Restoring P)runc k bland ings Castle Performance

1 1 :0° The Convention Shimmies Down the Drainpipe and plees

A * o f A w * * '*■ 1997

Plum Lines Vol iy No 3 Autumn 1997 S STATUS OF PROPOSED CONSTITUTION

c enclosed a draft constitution for our society in not clear what steps to take next. Our convention Wthe last Plum Lines, with certain loose ends (we agenda has no room for a constitutional discussion, called them options) hanging out conspicuously. Presi­ and most members seem to have no interest in it dent Elliott Milstcin’s letter accompanying the draft anyway. But a number o f us feel some action should be asked for responses to the proposal and was answered taken. Any proposals or comments? Send them to by an almost deafening silence. The dozen or so re­ President Elliott Milstein, 1721 Maple Lane, Hazel sponses were mostly noncommittal, indicating, along Park MI 48030, or email [email protected] before with that deafening silence, an overwhelming lack of the end of September. interest on the part of most members. It’s an under­ -OM standable attitude —most of us, I think, see our society as a loose association held together by the single thread of interest in Wodehouse and his writings, an associa­ tion whose only activities are a quarterly newsletter and a biennial weekend party. It all seems to run along WODEHOUSE AND pretty smoothly, with almost no administrative ma­ chinery. Why do we need anything as formidable as a RAYMOND (^HANDLER constitution? Well, we almost don’t. But we do need to pro­ vide authority for an officer (or officers) to make . G. Wodehouse and Raymond Chandler, the writer decisions between conventions in unforeseeable of excellent, though hardboiled, detective stories, matters. (Example: that semi-crisis last spring, P were almost classmates at Dulwich College, as many of when we had to raise dues quickly or reduce Plum us know. Barry Phelps, the latest biographer of Plum, Lines drastically. Because we had no constitution, says “Chandler went to Dulwich in the Autumn o f 1900 Elliott felt he lacked the authority to act alone to missing Wodehouse by one term.” Did these two promi­ raise dues, so he asked for a vote.) And there are nent writers ever meet? There’s no evidence of it as far other concerns. We aren’t a tiny group any more. as I know. But Jay Weiss, reading a 1976 Chandler With 800 members in sixteen countries, our dues biography by Frank McShane, found that they had a income will amount to about $16,000 per year, common friend in another Old Alleynian. and our contacts with the Real World are manv. j Chandler was American born but raised in Britain. We are growing, and the activities of a growing He returned to America after leaving Dulwich and did group tend to become diverse. not return to Britain for nearly 40 years. When he did, A number of us, mostly the officers, feel that for he found an old friend, William Townend, who was all these reasons our society needs a little struc­ also Plum’s close friend. Here’s what McShane had to ture. Nothing much, just a little something to say about Chandler’s return to England: hang our hats on. That’s what the proposed consti­ tution would provide. The differences between Chandler was nevertheless able to see of one of his old Options 1, 2, and 3 mostly concern the composi­ Dulwich friends, William Townend, who came up to London tion of the board of directors and the manner of for lunch; he also paid a visit to the Public Schools Club, of which he was an overseas member, just to have a look around. choosing such functionaries as the editors of Plum He was then sent a bill for a guinea, which prompted a strong Lines. letter of complaint addressed to the secretary. His meeting with Any of the three options would give us a struc­ Townend made him conscious of the difference between post­ ture that works, but my own preference is for the war [post World War II] England and the country he had smallest, simplest structure, provided by Option known as a young man. On the whole, he found it “a much more 2. It sets up a three-person board of directors (two amiable and attractive place” than he remembered. elected at each convention), which appoints such people as the secretary, treasurer, and editors. What more do we need? Strictly my own opinion. With so little response to the draft constitution, it’s

6 Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autumn 1997 Q 3ULLE ^pOUMANOFF p Q ^ODEHOUSE ON THE A Wodehousian knight from ^/ORLD ^yiDE ^yEB Tbilisi

Norman Murphy found this article in the London Daily Tele­ hat would Plum have made of the Internet? No graph o f February 24, 1997. It describes an extraordinary man Wdoubt he would have ignored it, as it had no with a delightful penchant for giving Wodehousian names to place in his world. However, the Internet has not his friends. — OM ignored him. More and more sites in which Wode­ house plays a prominent role are popping up on the World Wide Web. The following list of sites to explore vrille Toumanoff, who has died aged 83, was a was put together by Michel Kuzmenko, a devoted C Bailiff Grand Cross of Justice of the Sovereign Plummie located in Moscow. There arc undoubtedly Military Order of Malta and formerly Grand Prior of more, so please send ’em in, along with any corrections Bohemia. to this list. Michel’s only notable omission is his own ToumanofPs life was as exotic as his chosen academic delightful home page, located at: http:// subject, Byzantine culture in the Caucasus. He re­ mech.math.msu.su/~gmk/ garded himself as a Prince of Georgia, and joined the Order of Malta as a religious vocation, taking vows of http://web.inter.NL.nct/users/H.dcCeuninckvanCapeIle/ poverty, chastity, and obedience. His life’s work was Homepage of the P.G. Wodehouse Society (Holland) the M anuel degenealogie et de chronologic pour Vhistoric de la Caucasie Chretienne. http: //www.smart.net/ ~ tak/wodehouse.html His Serene Highness Prince Fra Cyrille Leon P. G. Wodehouse Appreciation Page by Tom Kreitzberg Heraclius Toumanoff was born in St Petersburg on http: //www. scrv.net/ ~ camel/ Oct 10 1913 and brought up in Tiflis (now Tbilisi), the The Junior Ganymede Club Book by Susan Collicott capital of Georgia. During the Russian Revolution the young Cyrille heard the shots that killed his mother in http://www.hic.net/bssc/public_html/jeeves.html the garden of their home. His father, a general in the The Information Pages by Mark Brady Tsar’s army, fled the country with the help of Gorky’s http://web.egr.msu.edu/~bhurkeal/ wife. He went first to Britain and then to America. Gussie Fink-Nottlc page Young Cyrille was sent to school in and Britain, and completed his education at Georgetown University, http: //www. crl.com/ ~ spm/tws.html where he later found a post teaching Russian and The Wodehouse Society by Shamim Mohamed Byzantine history. After retiring from Georgetown he moved to Rome http://weber.11. washington.edu/~mlkelley/beevor.htm Lady Theresa “Terry” Cobbold’s Home Page and became a professant of the Order of Malta, having turned from Orthodoxy to join the Roman Catholic http://kekuxi.kek.jp/~marat/pgw.html Church as a young man. Pelham Grenville Wodehouse (1881-1975) by Marat Khabibullin Despite long years in America he retained his En­ glish accent. He also constantly referred back to the http://www.stichicago.com/ms.htm books he enjoyed as a youth: the novels of Scott, Saint The Wodehouse Society Simon’s memoirs, and the works of P G Wodehouse. http://www-rcf.Lisc.edu/~ddunn/jeeves.htm Toumanoff gave his friends Wodehousian nicknames, In Appreciation of P. G. Wodehouse by Deborah Dunn such as Aunt Connie or even Empress of Blandings. In later years his conversation, packed with references to http://www.netaccess.on.ca/~erich/index.html , was hard to comprehend The Junior Drones Club by Eric Hanson except to close friends, such as the Grand Master of the http://bewoner.dma.be/Jeeves36/ Order, Fra Andrew Bertie. The Drones Club ()

http://home.netscape.com/people/thaths/wrodehouse/ P.G.Wodehouse and Songs bv Sudhakar “Stephanie Bing” Chandrasckharan

Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autumn 1997 7 Ina Muehlbauer and Will F. Richardson jS^EW MEMBERS Christopher Laure-Bader 45 Saint Leonard's Road 6 Burnham Place Mount Eden Fairlawn, NJ 07410-3623 Auckland 4 Harcharan Arora Elizabeth Dorsch New’ Zealand 2-42 Lakevicw Dr. Apt. 642 60 Aberdeen Gdns. Road Sheila Leav itt Moodv, AL 35004 Aberdeen, WA 98520 60 Parkwav Road Robin Schatz [email protected] Newton, MA 02160 1642 Meribrook Rd. Lucian Endicott Philadelphia, PA 19151-2716 Donna Bacidore Box 5069 David Lyndon 128 S. London Ave. Colorado Springs, CO 80931-5069 1159 Rockrimmon Rd. Carolyn Schierhorn Rockford, IL 61 104-2469 Stamford, CT 06903-1210 2720 W. Brvn Mawr Robert Hadley and Elizabeth Fisher Chicago, IL 60659-4809 Norine Beirnc 1280 21st Street NW #604 Sheila Markley 10148 S. Prospect Washington, DC 20036 2927 Brentwood Road N.W. James and Julie Seder Chicago, 1L 60643 Canton, OH 44708 219 Waterloo St. Marv E. Fornsel [email protected] Warrenton, VA 20186 Marjorie Blustein 115 Wagon Lane 85 Oakmont Ave. Centereach, NY 11720-2531 Edwin W. Meier Matthew K. Simon Piedmont, CA 94610 [email protected] 1022 Camp Creek Rd. 2 Arlington St. #3 Wavnesvillc, OH 45068-9214 Cambridge, MA 02140 Rebecca Blustein Terri Foster 516 Glenrock Ave. #105 11234 Benton St. Barbara Mersereau Edie Smith Los Angeles, CA 90024 Loma Linda, CA 92354-3005 5408 Blackstone Rd. 2842 Upper 138th St. W. Bethesda, MD 20816 Rosemount, MN 55068 Barbara Bowen Tina Garrison 1818 Cedar Ln. 1228 Simpson St. Bruce W. Miller Muriel Somervell Nashville, TN 37212-5817 Evanston, IL 60201 20 Church Street UnitA-n 118 Head of River Rd. [email protected] Greenwich, CT 06830-5632 Woodbine, NJ 08270 Robert and Karlin Bruegel 3577 Nyland Wav Olga Gavoso John D. Mills II Appan Subramanian Lafayette, CO 80026 4605 Merion Ct. 11300 Leaning Elm Rd. 3133 Kingridge Way Lawrence, KS 66047 Oklahoma City, OK 73120 Glendale, CA 91206 Arlene P. Clanton [email protected] [email protected] 21180 Sweetbriar Rd. Brian Taves West Linn, OR 97068 Jarlath J. Graham Noreen S. Moore iioD Street SE #515 415 Aldine 11 Independence PI. Washington, DC 20003-1815 Ted and Harriett Clark Chicago, IL 60657-3601 Newtown, PA 18940 6016 Washington St. Chicago Ridge, IL 60415 Jon Gregg Janice Erich and Robert Morgan Jill Trenchard Box 613 6921 Anchorage W 101 N. Brookside Dr. #1402 Richard and Charlotte Codv Johnson, VT 05606 Bethesda, MD 20817 Dallas, TX 75214 2240 Geneva Ter, Chicago, IL 60614 Marv E. Hartshorn Todd and Linda Morning Thomas Untener Box 844 1999 Powder River 1898 Latham Gregory Darak Belie, MO 65013 Elgin, IL 60123 Birmingham, MI 48009 8 Vista Place Trumbull, CT 06611 Tom and Bettv Hooker Sheila M. Mutchler Barbara van Hook 820 Cragmoor Road 525 W Hawthorne PI. Apt. 1404 1572 Huntingdon Rd. Philip and Gale Davis York Haven, PA 17370 Chicago, IL 60657 Abington, PA 19001 Box 577 Walpole, NH 03608 Peter Jolliffe Ranjit Narayanan Faith Wilber Munchner Strasse #4 733 Summit Ave. E. ^202 809 Cantown Rd. Lee Davis 85622 Feldkirchen Seattle, WA 98102 Sparta, TN 38583 Box 674 Westhampton, NY 11977 Lynne Parezo Guy Wolff Marv JolIilTe 16112 Laurel Ridge Drive 1249 Bantam Rd. Jim DeFilippi •60 Spring Dr. Laurel, MD 20707 Bantam, CT 06750 121 Middle Road Northville, MI 48167 Colchester, VT 05446 Gautam D. Patel Carol Zippel Adrienne Kirkeby 68 Marine Drive 4849 N. Elkhart Ave. Jav R. Deutsch 600 N. Oak Park Ave. Bombay Milwaukee, YVI 53217 Hem Prabha 7 0 East 10th Street #i2M Oak Park, IL 60302 New York, NY 10003 Pam Lambert Anne Dierbeck 731 Jefferson NE Amy Plofkcr 200 Montgomery Ln. Albuquerque, NM 87110 1217 Whitney Ave. #13 Glenview, IL 60025 Hamden, CT 06517

8 Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autumn 1997 stories, scattered through a number of volumes on the FEW QUICK ONES shelves of the local public library and now conveniently collected in one volume, The Golf Omnibus. I had never held a or been admitted to one, but I had no Shamim Mohamed reports that all Drones Club ties trouble, for some reason, in picturing the verdant scene and bowties have been mailed to those who placed as the Oldest Member sits on the terrace of the mythical ' ts for them. If von sent in an order and have not yet Marvis Bay G olf and Country Club.” received vour tie, or if von believe there is an error in your oi\ please notify Shamim at once! Call him at John Kareores provided a photocopy of a videocas­ (408) 720-1843 or send him e-mail [email protected] . If sette cover that has to be seen to be believed. It is not he doesn't hear from von, he will assume that all is well, reproducible here unfortunately, but the title o f the and will close out all accounts, entertaining no more film is Madhouse Mansion, and on the cassette case is complaints. emblazoned the following endorsement from Cinema TV Today: “Like a vintage P.G. Wodehouse story as it Susan and Dan Cohen continue to keep on top of might have been ghosted by Edgar Allen Poe.” In Wodehouse references in print. Susan notes that Plum which, we presume, not even Jeeves could prevent the was mentioned in both The New York Times and The fall o f the house o f Usher Washington Post on the same day—June 14 to be exact. The Post ran an interview with Richard Kline (starring Paul Sayles writes that a blush wine called Eye of as Jeeves in ! at the Kennedy Center's Terrace Newt is available from Witch Creek Winery, 2906 Theater), while the Times printed a column by Maureen Carlsbad Blvd., Carlsbad CA 92008, phone (619) 720- Dowd entitled “ for the Coarse,” in which she wrote 7499. With such a name, the winery surely also pro­ the following: “Even during my stint as a sports re­ duces wines called Toe of Frog, Wool of Bat, and porter my attitude was much like the Young Man in a Tongue o f Dog, to say nothing o f the eighteen other P.G. Wodehouse story who dismissed 'gowP as La ingredients that “make the gruel thick and pestilential pastime,' and as ca blanked, infernal, slab."...Thank you, but I think I’ll just have a glass of fatheaded game.’ ” Susan further offers compliments to water. Capital! Capital!, noting that “it seems as if our TWS Washington D.C. chapter has recruited or, at the very Louise Collins and Beth Carroll were pleased to least, influenced, the entire Washington Port staff.” Dan discover in a recent issue o f Town and Country maga- offered further proof of this to PGW-Net a few weeks zinc that house guests at Chatsworth, one of the great later, when he wrote, “Capital! Capital! either has English country houses, have Wodehouse as a bedside good friends on the Washington Post, or someone has companion. Books for the guest bedrooms are person­ the goods on Kate Graham—but this week’s Book ally selected by the Duke of Devonshire, but “each World has done it again! David Streifeld has a very nice should have James’s short stories, something by Wode- piece on Peter Schwed’s Plum to Peter in his Book housc, and The Oxford Book of English Verse” Report section.” Beth Carroll came across a review o f the new Raymond Francine Swift attended a performance of By Jeeves! Chandler: A Biography (Atlantic Monthly Press, $26). in Washington, D .C., and sent in a number o f reviews The reviewer notes that the author, Tom Hiney, made o f the production, all pretty favorable. Francine writes a digression we Wodehouse fans can only applaud. that “We thought it tighter and with more movement “When there doesn’t seem to be enough information than we saw in London.” Her husband also remarked, about Chandler’s years at England’s Dulwich College, “Did it ever occur to you that Honoria grew up to be Hiney resorts to talking about classmate P. G. Wode­ ?” By the time this Plum Lines arrives in house and head master A. H. Gilkes—page after page mailboxes, By Jeeves! will have left D.C. No word at this on the latter...” [Actually, Wodehouse and Chandler date on where it is headed next. weren’t quite classmates, since Plum left the school just before Chandler entered. —OM] No information on Stephen Brown sent along some pages from Golf what the author has to sav about Wodehouse, but Dreams: Writings on G olf byJohn Updike. In the chapter Gilkes may well be worth reading about. He was appar­ entitled “Golf in Writing,” Updike notes: “It was P.G. ently one of the greatest public-school headmasters. Wodehouse...who brought me resoundingly into the imaginary world of golf—his wonderful, comical golf

Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autumn 1997 9 David McDonough and John Hannah have done their bit for world enlightenment by discovering in J-JELEN Q\[EIIA) Angela’s Ashes, the wonderful autobiography o f impov­ erished boyhood in Ireland, a heartening passage. The \yO D E H O U S E author, when a ten-year-old boy hospitalized and deathly ill, is introduced to P. G. Wodchouse, who makes me laugh over Ukridge and and An obituary by Norman Murphy Jeeves and all the Mullincrs. Bertie Wooster is rich but he eats his egg everv morning for fear of what Jeeves might say...At clla Wodchouse was as old as the century, born in night I lie in bed thinking about...all the characters in P. G. January 1900. In 1919 she married Armine Wode­ Wodehousc. Nhousc, Plum’s elder brother, and accompanied him to Jay Weiss’s wife recently came across a New Orleans India where he was Professor o f English at a university. hotel advertisement which included this quote: “The She enjoyed her time there and had a fund o f stories most agreeable service is that which efficiently fulfills about life in the Raj. our expectations without our notice.” Its author? None Thcv came back to England in 1935 when Armine other than “P. G. Wodehousc, Victorian authority on retired but their time here was short—Armine died in proper etiquette.” 1937 and Nclla was a widow for the next 60 years. She “The question is,” notes Jay, “just where in his worked in a Radar workshop during the war, moving extensive writings did that foremost Victorian author­ to Kent in 1900. In the 1950s she visited her brother in ity on proper etiquette make that pronouncement. and paid a visit to Plum and Ethel on Long Perhaps could tell us.” Island. Soon after this she went over to keep house for Don’t you wish we had all of Plum’s writings on a them, making many friends in the neighborhood. She CD-ROM? Then we wouldn’t have to depend on Great returned to England in the 1970s. Brains such as Richard to answer our questions. Even She was always fun to talk to, always interested in Great Brains can be stumped. It’s been said that such a what was going on, and always ready to talk about her collection —Wodehousc on computer—might reduce brother-in-law. I and many others are sad to see her sales of Wodchouse books. That’s the last thing we gone. want, and anyone who has had much computer experi­ ence knows it wouldn’t happen. Any poor soul who tried to read a book displayed on a computer screen would find his eyes falling out o f his head in thirty I 9 9 9 CONVENTION SITE minutes. And no one would be foolish enough to print a book from a computer when a better printed, better bound version of the same book is available cheaper in NEEDED bookstores. “Wodehousc on computer,” if it ever came into being, would be extremely useful for text searches here is still time to put in your bid to host the 1999 and similar scholarly activities, but for nothing else on T convention of The Wodehousc Society. If you earth. But what a job to produce it. have willing volunteers and the perfect location for Plummies to do a bit of browsing, sluicing, and gab­ a o c ? y \ bing about Wodehousc, please let us know about it! Bids will be wined, dined, and otherwise entertained at Aunt Dahlia and The Oldest Member the October 1997 convention in Chicago. If you lie anywhere on the spectrum from eager to cautiously interested, please let President Elliott Milstein know at 1721 Maple Lane, Hazel Park MI 48030, or email [email protected] . Before the end of September, please. —AD

“When a studio executive charges you, look to the left but leap to the right. This baffles the simple creature.” Barmy in Wonderland, 1952

10 Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autumn 1997 •JHE ORIGINAL OF CHAPTERS CORNER

ROSIE RANKS Kudos to Chapter One for putting together a week­ end binge that had 45 Plummies clamoring for more. Everyone who journeyed to Cape May, New Jersey, By Murray Wilson this past June enjoyed a most splendid round of brows­ ing, sluicing, golfing, and hobnobbing, all thanks to I have always supposed that Ethel M. Dell was the the good graces of Chapter One. Our gratitude and original of Rosie M. Banks. In my reading of the appreciation are especially due to Susan and Dan Cohen, various biographies o f PG W lately I was therefore most the primary movers and shakers of the event. Susan’s surprised to come across the statement in one o f them report of the festivities elsewhere in this issue simply that the model was Rubv M. Ayres. No supporting can’t do enough justice to the fun and joy and good evidence was given and so I am supposing that this is times that pervaded the entire weekend. Bravo, Chap­ the opinion of the author, and as such open to chal­ ter One! lenge. The Drone Rangers arc keeping as busy as ever with I am not a student o f PG W, but I did decide to go the frequent and informative meetings. Their June 20 gath­ quarter mile down the road today to the library o f ering featured a presentation by one Beverly Maurice, Swarthmore College and sec what I could find out concerning . As reprinted in about the two competing ladies. It is a very fine library, Dronestar, I submit to you the following opening line as befits one o f the top liberal arts colleges in the from Ms. Maurice’s sparkling pen: “Funny how those country, but even so the information about the two Wodehouse books lead you on! Pick one up and time authors was meager and quite hard to find. The gist of stands still. Better yet... time goes backward. The street it was as follows. noises cease... somehow even the light in the room Ethel M. Dell, 1881-1939, had her first short stories changes, and you are in a dimly lit prohibition cafe in published in 1901. Her cousins kept a score of how New York. You arc in the heart of Greenwich Village often the words “passion,” “tremble,” “pant,” and when silk-clad flappers were still doing the Charleston, “thrill” occurred in her stories. Her first novel was the custom o f the cocktail hour was only a few minutes published in 1912 and was reprinted twenty-seven times old, and the chic way to distance yourself from tobacco between then and 1915. She was noted for her cliche- was to buy a long cigarette holder.” Ah, she puts these ridden style and for steamy hints about male sexuality. things so well! Nancy Mitford remembered being forbidden to read The Argus Intelligencer and Wheat Growers Gazette her stories. o f Blandings Castle is continuing its series on some of Ruby M. Ayres, 1883-1955, was noted for “ good, its chapter’s stars, the latest being Len and Shirley clean love stories,” o f which she wrote about 150. That Lawson. Len is well known to many of us as a former was about all the biographical information there was president ofTW S and a devoted historian of the Wode­ on her. house canon, not to mention an impressive collector. Both authors wrote about pure, finely bred women Jan Kaufman’s article describes Len’s formidable col­ and chivalrous men, so neither would have written lection of PGW books, magazines, and sheet music, Only a Factory Girl. Ruby was popular, but Ethel was and includes some nifty graphics from stories and notorious. Given the date at which Ethel achieved her articles in early 20th century magazines. Len and Shirley early success I do not see that there can be much doubt have been mainstays of the Society since its inception, that PGW with his penchant for popular fiction at that and Jan’s tribute to them is highly deserved. time was absorbing her writing. Finally, the N E W T S have engaged in a number of It is perhaps worth noting a passage in B ill the Nottles recently, and paid a return visit to the zoo in Conqueror (1924): Boston to check on the newt exhibit they have spon­ sored there. Although some newts were lost over the The second mate of a tramp steamer or one of Miss Ethel M. winter, the remainder look very sprightly and quite Dell’s more virile heroes might have attempted truculence with Mr. Slingsbv and got away with it, but Bill, even as he spoke, contented in their realistic surroundings. After paying knew that he was not the man to do it. homage to the newts —including a ceremony to place a small bit of dirt from Plum’s grave into the tank (don’t ask) —the group adjourned to a picnic on the zoo grounds. A fine time was had by all! —AD

Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autum n 1997 II "$HUFFLIN' SAM" JS^N ACROSTIC GOES TO (]ANADA Wavj back in March Elin and I received identical notes and copies o f a New York Times Magazine acrostic from Peter Schwed, Plum’s long-time editor and pub­ lisher in America. The note read in part as follows:

ASSIGNMENT OF CANADIAN COPYRIGHT. I happen to be an old friend of Tom Middleton, the man whose genius creates these puzzles, and sent him a copv of Plum to Peter as a Christmas present. He telephoned to thank me, and said he had long wanted to use a good Wodehouse excerpt in an SCunUJ A U i® pn b y HIPS? {IrfB PntB , Thai fur 1,1 MiiAulcration of Ihe sum of ONE

DOLLAR and other good ood valuable considerations received, R f t 62 ^cst^Forty-fifth Acrostic, but he wasn’t familiar enough with his work to be able

St.-set, . N Y., U. S A., hereinafter called llic Assignee. I/we, the undersigned, to leap at one. Could I help? hereinafter called the Assignor(s). do hereby bargain, sell, assign, set over and transfer to and unto Well, could I indeed! Take one look at the answer I worked the said Assignee, its successors and assigns, a certain title, song, words, uuisic and musical work entitled: out and vou will see that Schwed is never a man to miss the "S H U FFLIN ' SAV:" obvious!

and the exclusive right to linve and obtain copyrigbt therein In its own name In Canada, sod all of

the Canadian copyright tbertiu, subject, however, to the provisions of Section 11, Sub-secLioa 2, of I’ve also received correct solutions from Carol Adele the Copyright Law, 1921, the author(s) of said words being p. G. ViodetteUM ...... Bane and Jay Weiss. Citizen (or subject) uf...GE6s,L B ritslri Resident of . l: If-f.d, ... X\1 t This acrostic may be difficult to solve, so Elin and I C itin'it (or subject) of are offering a little prize for the first correct answer we receive: a full -size hand-knitted replica o f the Eiffel when the aforesaid words vritli'ii and composed; the cootposer(s) .of the music being

Jerome Kern Citi/t'Tt (or subject) of U n ite d S la te s o f Ajr.ericA Tower, done in several lovely shades o f blue wool (no

Kusiiw.ni of ...... D r o n x v J IL ij ...... N e ti.io .E k . Nuabu fni.«i 017 so n synthetics!). The tower will be shipped to the winner in mid ...... , Ciiiten (or subject) of...... sections and some assembly is required. Batteries not Resident of ...... >u

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, 1/wc have hi-reuntu acl tity/gur hand(s) and scal(s) tbis successful puzzle solvers in the next issue. dny 01 1 9 2 4 □«_ .Xjdh/L...... S. A. (By the way, some copies o f Peter’s book mentioned /, >; above, Plum to Peter, are still available directly from ..... d...... Peter Schwed for $33.50 per copy postpaid. Send your orders to him at 151 West 86th St. (11C ), New York NY T 7 . f j C v s . :!/...... 10024-3401. A great Christmas present for the Right i ...... k...... I Sort.) The acrostic is reprinted here by permission of The New York Times. — OM

ery few o f us, I suppose, have ever seen a legal ^ c r o s t t c V document that transferred the copyright of a song. (on facing page) JeanTiUson provided this assignment o f the Canadian copyright of a P. G. Wodehouse - Jerome Kern song. By Thomas H. Middleton It was given to her by her friend, J. Banks Hankins. Jasen’s biography lists “Shufflin’ Sam” among the Guess the words defined in the clues and write them songs of the Bolton-Wodehouse-Kern Sitting Pretty o f over their numbered dashes. Then transfer each letter 1924. The song is a brisk, cheerful prescription from to the correspondingly numbered square in the pat­ “an old man back in Clayville” for curing the blues. tern. Black squares indicate word endings. The filled The musical ran for only 95 performances. It’s sur­ pattern will contain a quotation reading from left to prising that such delights as “Bongo on the Congo” right. The first letters o f the guessed words will form an and “The Enchanted Train” couldn’t keep the doors acrostic giving author’s name and title o f work. open longer. —AD, OM

iz Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autum n 1997 14 K 15 X 16 0 17 F 10 E 19 C ■ 33 X 34 U 35 T ■ 36 T 37 S 38 0 39 H 40 E 54 J SS X 56 P 57 V 5B E 59 R 60 l 61 K 62 I 77 V 78 U ■ 79 K 80 B 81 V 82 A 83 V ■ as l 06 T 07 1 96 A 99 8 100 L 101 H 102 V ■ 103 0 104 E 105 A 106 H 1071 108 N 109 U 121 1 122 M■ 123 A 124 8 125 6 126 L 127 C 126* 129 1 130 G 131 U 132 L 143 V 144 V 145 P 146 V 147 A 148 U 149 K 150 0 ■ 1S3 X ■ ■ 166 U 167 P >160 R 169 S 170 0 171 J

A. Sights in a turbulent s e a ...... 123 138 147 no 105 10 84 82 98 B. U.S. writer (1905-70; “Pal Joey”) ...... "27 724 "29 "63 C. Bavarian city known for a Nazi con­ centration cam p...... ITT "66 "77 717 7 5 5 " 7 9 D. Biting canines...... “ 75 TIT IT 3 " 16 7 7 0 3 " 7 6 E U.S. writer (1806-84; “Lays of the Hudson”) ...... T04 "TF "58 "90 "22 " 4 0 733 F. En route (3 wds.) ...... "49 742 759 771 " 7 7 " 2 5 7 3 9 ~ 1 7 G. Stable...... "92 730 "65 "48 7 7 7 " 2 4 7 7 1 7 2 5 " 3 2 H. Swindle...... W6 734 771 Tor I. Forthwith, once ...... ~62 “IT "64 7 5 4 7 2 7 " 8 7 7 2 9 J. D e te st...... T m ~ 4 "54 7 6 0 7 7 7 " 4 2 K. Province, central Netherlands .. " 5 7 "14 "74 735 "79 7 4 9 5 L Raised structure on which a body lies in state ...... 126 Too "45 763 "44 9 " 8 5 " 6 0 7 3 2 M. Former Ukrainian capital .. 122 "99 TIT "39 "88 7 5 7 " 9 6 N. Lapse; negligence...... “ 3T "53 708 "70 "78 7 “ 72 7 5 2 O. Getting; charming...... ~ 8 "47 740 7 7 0 "72 " 95 "75 7 7 5 P. Crowd; multitude...... "30 ~ 6 767 "89 "56 7 4 5 Q. Thyroxine or cortisol, e .g ...... "26 7 7 7 "38 7 5 0 7 2 0 ~ ~ 2 " 6 9 R. Give a right or claim t o ...... nr "68 762 " 5 ? 7 3 7 7 7 9 " 7 3 S. Bowed; tendency; proclivity .... 156" "37 769 " 94 T. Aquatic, furbearing mammal ... ~ W "36 ~ 7 T " 7 3 "93 U. Leave (2 w d s.)...... "78 "23 748 "34 7 3 7 7 6 6 7 0 9 V. English actor Edmund (1787-1833) 765 "IT " 7 7 7 4 4 W. Broke; straitened (3 wds.) ...... "57 "67 728 757 "43 " 52 7 7 3 X. “A ------memories and of sighs” (2 wds.; Landor, “Rose Aylmer” ...... ITT 753 "55 "75 "33 TFT " 9 l Y. Move to and fr o ...... 136" "46 758 "83 " 50 7 4 6 7 0 2

Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autumn 1997 13 had suspected that he was shortly about to become the father of £XJRSES} pOILED AGAIN} it.

But back to Dahlia, she of the magnificent mouth. She did not confine herself to uttering outright straight By Anne Cotton (Lady Bassett) curses; she often came up with passing remarks which bore the same direct intensity of ill will. For example, e all know, deep down in some terrified comer of she unleashed this blast at Bertie'm Aunts Aren’t Gentle­ Wour souls, what it means to incur the wrath of an men: Aunt. You know about aunts, of course, and so, obvi­ “Hell’s bells! Ye gods! Angels and ministers of grace defend ously, did Wodehouse. He described them this way in us!... Letting the side down! Failing me in my hour of need! The Mating Season: “It is bad to be trapped in a den of Bringing my gray hairs in sorrow to the grave! And after all I’ve slavering aunts, lashing their tails and glaring at you done for you, you miserable ungrateful worm. Do you remem­ ber me telling you that when you were a babe and suckling and out of their red eves.”✓ He also referred, in , to those looking, I may add in passing, like a badly poached egg, you nearly swallowed your rubber comforter, and if I hadn’t jerked ...occasions when Aunt is calling to Aunt like mastodons bel­ it out in time, you would have choked to death? It would go lowing across primeval swamps... hard for you if you swallowed your rubber comforter now. I wouldn’t stir a finger.” Yes indeed, one m ight say that the W odehouse view of Aunts, even through an unpolished monocle, was And here, from Right Ho, Jeeves, is another o f her what one might definitely describe as jaundiced. The remarks to poor Bertie, who got more than his share of last thing one might wish to do in life is to incur an her soothing comments (though Heaven knows what Aunt’s Curse, which is undoubtedly what our ances­ she said to her husband Tom, whenever he brought tors really meant by that fine old phrase, “a fate worse home yet another cow creamer): than death.” Here is a sample of one of the best, as “You know the pond at the end of the kitchen garden?” said spoken by Dahlia in : Aunt Dahlia. “Get a good, stout piece of rope or cord and look about till you find a nice, heavy stone. Or a fairly large brick “Bertie,” she said, “I wish to begin by saying a few words would do. Then fasten the rope to the brick and tie it round your about Sir Watkyn Bassett, C.B.E. May green fly attack his roses. damned neck and jump into the pond and drown yourself. In a May his cook get tight on the night of the big dinner party. May few days I will send and have you fished up and buried because all his hens get the staggers.” I shall need to dance on your grave.” “Does he keep hens?” I said, putting in a point. “May his cistern start leaking, and may white ants, if there are Others of Wodehouse’s magnificent gallery of rogues any in England, gnaw away the foundations of Totlcigh Tow­ could deliver themselves of the withering riposte, when ers. And when he walks down the aisle with his daughter occasion demanded. Here, from Uncle Fredinthe Spring­ Madeline, to give her away to that ass Spink-Bottle, may he get time, is a remark that leaves little doubt of Ricky a sneezing fit and find that he has come out without a pocket handkerchief.” Gilpin’s intentions: “If ever there was a pot-bellied little human louse who And she added, in a similar fit of pique (in Right Ho, needed to have the stuffing knocked out of him and his re­ Jeeves): mains jumped on by strong men in hobnailed boots, it is you, “Curse all dancing chauffeurs... Damn all dancing butlers.” Mr. Pott. The next time I see a mob in the street setting on you, I shall offer to hold their coats and stand by and cheer.” Of course, sometimes the nephews got their own And when Beach remarked to Hugo, in Summer licks in. As Oliver Randolph Sipperley said of his Aunt Lightning, that he kept an album of “items of interest Vera (in “Without the Option”), relating to the Family,” Hugo replied at once: “ ...may a nephew’s curse blister every bulb in her garden.” “What that album needs is an eye-witness’s description of Lady Constance Keeble falling out of a window and breaking her Wodehouse seems to have been quite taken with neck.” curses. He refers happily to that variety known as the Family Curse (but was it George or Freddie, do you But we need not confine ourselves to the Canon suppose?) in “Lord Emsworth Acts for the Best” (found when considering the spirited content of a in Blandings Castle and Elsewhere): Wodehousean curse. We can, indeed, come up with some of our own, directed at particularly susceptible Years before, when a boy, and romantic as most boys are, his targets. Inventing curses could become a favorite par­ Lordship had sometimes regretted that the Emsworths, though an ancient clan, did not possess a Family Curse. How little he lor game, or a way to enliven pgw-net on an otherwise

14 Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autum n 1997 dull afternoon. For example, one might address a Drone also the villainous Moriarty, there is a special curse: who has uncivilly withheld a small loan of a few pounds May Moriarty/Holmes come calling to settle old scores, and with any of the following remarks: stay long enough to close your gossipy mouth for keeps. Mav vour breadroll forever fail to find its mark. And for my own favorite character, Lady Bassett (and any of our kindred souls), one might invoke this Mav never cross your path again, so that he and his dreadful fate: wallet will be perpetually beyond your touch. May you leave on a train every mystery novel you ever read At the next Goodwood may vour horse cross the finish line when vou are only halfway through it, and never discover three races after it starts. whodunit. Should Bertie (Heaven forfend) go so far as to refuse We must not forget Plum himself. This would suit to put up one’s favorite relative for the night simply him to a perfect T: because said relative is second cousin to a warthog, one May you discover that the afterlife is one long recitation of might find some of these remarks a bit useful: Christopher Robin verses. Mav Jeeves forswear fish, and may his mighty brain fail when Along the same lines, here is one for all of us: next vou find yourself in need of becoming disengaged from the likes of Florence Grave or . May you get to heaven and find that the only song the Heavenly Choir knows how to sing is one endless chorus of “Sonny Boy.” May Claude and Eustace become your permanent flat-mates. Back to the Aunts. Since they began all this, it’s only fair to end with a present for two of our favorites. Mav come to live with you and spend the rest of her days attempting to reform you. Here’s a mild one for Dahlia (after all, she is a fine old sp o rt): And when Gussie Fink-Nottle drivels on just an hour too long about his newts, which he has insisted on May you find yourself with severe laryngitis at the next hunt of the Quorn and Pytchley, just as you are about to deliver the first placing in your bathtub on one of those days that ringing “Tally-Ho!” would melt steel bars in the sun, when eggs would not simply fry but bum to ashes on the sidewalk, and when And here’s a bit stronger one for Agatha, who is the humidity exceeds that of a swamp along the Ama­ more than a bit o f a pill, and who has few if any socially zon river, one might dredge up something along these redeeming features: lines: May Bertie find out about your one youthful indiscretion, and May your life be one long uninterrupted Sunday School treat. threaten to tell all in M ilady’s Boudoir unless you stay out of his life forever; and may you never again be able to commission him May you live next door to a road company of Macbeth that with such onerous tasks as watching over his irrepressible favors the use of live props. cousins or marrying some nice, dull, “ respectable” girl. (Surely you remember the infamous recipe of the And now you are invited to come up with additional Three Witches, which contained “Eye of newt” among specimens of your own. The curse may be elegant or its other vile ingredients.) simple, long or short; but it must come from the heart if it is to be of any use. Having said more than enough For , this has a certain appropriate ring: on the subject, I shall raise my glass and emulate the May all your fiancees have little brothers who are Boy Scouts. aunt referred to in Right Ho, Jeeves: When Mr. Mulliner drones on about one too many For some moments there was nothing to be heard but the sloshing sound of an aunt restoring her tissues. nephews, becoming unforgivably dull in the process, one can think of nothing worse than this: May the Angler’s Rest close down for lack of customers. Clarence, Lord Emsworth, would surely quail be­ fore this evil spell: Mav Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe succeed in slipping a dose of Slinimo to the Empress, just days before the agricultural fair. For Mr. Mulliner’s detective-nephew Adrian, who theorized in his last story that Sherlock Holmes was

Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autum n 1997 is Thus is set the tone of the column, and is revealed qur m AMEMCA Wodehouse’s singular handicap as a journalist. Though Wodehouse had lived in America on and off for nearlyj forty years by 1956, his personal interaction with Ameri­ can life was very circumscribed. He rarely left his By Robert Persing hometown of Remsenburg, New York, and never if he could help it. Even his trips into New York City were infrequent by then. He was not involved in political .G. Wodchousc’s writing has been thoroughly col­ life, his connection with the theater world had dwindled P lected over the years, and there are few substantial considerably, and he avoided literary society like the pieces of his writing not readily available. However, plague. In short, Wodehouse lived in America, but saw one significant body of his work has never been re­ almost nothing of America. printed. This body consists of two irregular columns, Living a quiet, secluded life is a major obstacle for “America Day By Day” and “Our Man In America,” any reporter, even a comic one. Wodehouse overcame that Wodehouse wrote for Punch between 1956 and it in his own unique fashion. First, he fashioned his 1963. column as a collection of news items (four or five per Wodehouse began writing his column in April of column), so that no one item would have to be ana­ 1956, when he was nearly seventy five years old. The lyzed in depth. So an outline o f a typical column2 would columns started on a biweekly schedule, but only read: vaguely stuck to it. In late 1958 there was a hiatus, followed by one column in December without a title; 1. An item on the Congressional restaurant in Wash­ the column then disappeared for a year. It reappeared ington (1 paragraph) as “America Day by Day” for two issues in January 2. Praising your own novel in its Introduction (two i960, and then resumed a once-or-twice-a-month sched­ paragraphs) ule in April i960, under the new title “Our Man In 3. Delays on the Long Island Railroad (two para America.” This second series of columns was in fact graphs) Plum’s final significant contribution to Punch; after it 4. Walls collapsing at a Fargo, North Dakota, ended in June 1963, he contributed only two more church (one paragraph) articles.1 5. A letter to Greta Garbo returned to sender (one The two columns together come to nearly 70,000 sentence) words, yet few of them have ever appeared in book 6. A man whose TV was stolen (one sentence) form. Eight of the seventy columns were included in English editions of in 1966, but were excised The actual columns were of course funnier than the from the 1967 American edition. (The publisher pre­ outline. They were written in the same dry yet amiable sumably thought Americans already knew enough about voice that Wodehouse used in and his America.) One column each appeared in the Pick of other nonfiction of the period. Punch annual volumes for 1956-1959, and a few in a Second, he avoided almost all topical subjects. Poli­ couple of other Punch anthologies. Otherwise, the tics only is mentioned peripherally, as in the discussion columns remain only available in library stacks. o f the Congressional restaurant, or later in a discussion of President Kennedy’s appearing in public without a What to write about? hat*. Discussion o f films or shows was usually general, though Wodehouse does specifically note the opening The column was at first called “ America Day By o f West Side Story, which he wrvlv describes as a “mu- Day,” which sounds like a current-affairs, diary-type sical comedv” in a discussion of violence onstage4 . column —perhaps a counterpart of the column about Occasionally a major event earns an oblique mention, Parliament which was a staple of Punch for years. In such as advice to Khrushchev’s visit to the UN-, or a few fact, the topical content of the Wodehouse columns slighting references to Castro after the Cuban missile was always very limited. As Wodehouse says at the crisis.6 But there is never any direct analysis of politics beginning of the very first column: or of the “American people” as a whole. Almost every­ thing he reports deals with specific people, not the Down where I live, on the south shore of Long Island, things multitude. On the late columns, the Punch editors have been prettv quiet of late ... but elsewhere in America there teased him for this, adding subheads like “More has been quite a bit of stir and excitement. Exclusives from the ever-alert pen of P. G. Wode-

16 Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autum n 1997 house "or describing his “ uncanny ability to get the big All the news that’s fit... story’8. One of the few topical items to appear in more than Having discovered Wodchouse’s method of compil­ one column was the New York newspaper strike of ing his column, can we deduce (as Adrian Mullincr 1963. This one affected Wodehousc very personally, on w ould sav)'* anything more? Indeed we can: it is pos­ account of the third wavj Wodehouse dealt with his sible to guess which sections of the papers most inter­ isolation from American life. A significant portion of ested Wodehouse. He was not a front page man, cer­ the Punch columns consists of news items from the tainly. Probably his first step was to read the theater New York newspapers, expanded and annotated by reviews (he was still working on several theatrical Wodehousc. In some cases, Wodehouse would ac­ projects in this period). The New York theater scene is knowledge the source specifically, through nods like mentioned in over a dozen columns, and specific shows The sports editor of the New York Herald-Tribune and even reviewers sometimes are discussed14. (The reminded us the other day” or some similar lead-in. shows which get mentioned most ar c M y F air Lady and More often, though, the news items are not credited, a now-forgotten Ethel Merman vehicle called Happy but simply used. There are dozens of columns entries Hunting.) The later columns have fewer theatrical ref­ like these: erences, and Wodehouse talks of his interest waning in the age of “serious” musicals like West Side Story. “This brings us to a rather horrible experiment that Stories about TV were also a frequent source of is being tried by the Federal Trade Commission, inspiration, with almost two dozen columns touching whereby...”9 on some aspect of the relatively new medium. Wodehouse’s personal interest in TV (he was a soap Or opera addict) is well docum ented. But many o f his TV- inspired segments seem to come not from watching “Well, sir, about that business up Roscndale, N.Y., TV, but from reading about TV shows. His comments way. It seems that a horse belonging to Kenneth Muller, are less likely to tell you what he watched last night than a farmer of those parts...”10 to report a conversation Dave Garroway had with his staff15 or that some TV writer had with his director and Or sponsor16 —pieces of information gleaned from a news­ paper or magazine. In fact, Wodehouse even once “The police in Grand Rapids, Michigan are spread­ announces that he has “gone off television” and prefers ing a dragnet for a night club entertainer who recently to “curl up with a good book,” a sentiment many of skipped out of town...”11 his readers can appreciate. The sports section of the paper was another frequent Though many of them are phrased like the opening stop for Wodehouse. Several of his columns deal with lines to a long joke, most of them are clearly real stories, baseball. The migration of the Dodgers and Giants to which have been taken from newspapers and TV news­ California'8 earns a mention , as does the creation of the casts and Wodehouseized. (Once in a while, to fill out hapless early Mcts.19 (Curiously, Wodehousc’s favorite a short column, Wodehouse did resort to pure joke­ baseball image is of fans pelting the players and um­ writing. The difference was easy to tell: he would use pires with thrown fruit and soda cans—was baseball jokes that were old chestnuts, and give them a vaudevil- really that much wilder back then?) Boxing is also lian buildup like, “Nothing much more of interest this frequently discussed, with Joe Louis’s income tax prob­ week, except perhaps the story of two Madison Avenue lem spoken of more than once.20 Often he is able to advertising men...”.1 combine two of his favorite subjects, by discussing It may not be a coincidence that Wodehouse’s col­ such items as boxers appearing on TV game shows.21 umn stopped running shortly after the aforementioned New York newspaper strike. He himself comments that “newspaper reading is, after all, just a habit, and if The criminal element you have had to break it for more than four months, it is But by far the most common topic Wodehouse tack­ difficult to re- >J1b b sume it. 12 les, over and over again, is crime. Wodehouse seem­ Apparently, at his age, ingly could not get enough of America’s criminals, especially the less successful ones. More than thirty of the seventy columns discuss some sort of lawbreaking.

Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autumn 1997 17 Wc are witnesses to robberies, swindles, jailbreaks, his ilk is a Drone. Not onlvj do readers usually* look gangsters (and their mothers) with guns, and innumer­ favorably on such defendants, we usually know why able traffic violations. We also meet people who steal the accused did what he did (there’s a girl involved dinosaur eggs22, church pews, and bridges over rivers. somewhere), and can sympathize with his plight. While This particular concentration on the criminal ele­ the criminals Wodehouse describes in his columns are ment, when Wodehouse admittedly lived in a quiet, not usually murderers or violent offenders, they are at crime-free neighborhood, highlights again the author’s least professionals. The reader can take more pleasure method of gathering material. Newspapers tend to from seeing them get fourteen days without the option focus on crime and criminals. Since papers were Plum’s of a fine than if the defendant were a young friend of primary sources for the column, a focus on crime news ’s. is not surprising. Since Plum gave up driving himself One might think this focus on criminality might years earlier, even the many columns on traffic viola­ weigh down a column, make it more earthy and realis­ tions carry the air of a dispassionate observer, not of a tic. But Wodehouse is still Wodehouse: the Punch member of the injured class (motorists). Had Wode­ columns instead have a breezy charm to them that house received more speeding tickets in his life, he brightens even the heaviest subject matter. Not only might not have found them quite as funny. are the columns easy to read, they give the impression Given Wodehouse’s proclivity for writing novels of having been effortless to write. about impostors, minor-league jewel- and pig-thieves, Some (though by no means all) W odehouse fans feel and young men who steal policemen’s helmets, per­ his fiction writing was beginning a slow decline in haps this focus on the unlawful is not so surprising. quality during the late 1950s and early 1960s. His More unexpected, though, is the inclusion of a strong nonfiction voice, by contrast, showed no decrease in element of retribution, via the courtroom. Almost vigor during this time. This has been visible for years in every described crime in the column is followed by a the memoirs he wrote in this period (Over Seventy, scene of the criminal standing before the bar, receiving Bring on the Girls), and the Punch columns carry that a juicy reprimand from the judge. A typical example same charm and humor. runs like this: I am sure many of Plum’s fans, having bought all the Penguin editions and looted their local used book­ stores, have wished there were more quality Plum It is not lightly that one describes anyone as belonging to the old bulldog breed, but surely George Clemons of Riverhead works waiting to be rediscovered. The Punch columns N.Y. is entitled to the accolade. He is fond of motoring, and the fit the bill admirably. They are well worth the effort to other day this led him to appearing in the Riverside court before find among the back volumes of large libraries, or Justice of the Peace Otis J. Pike. wherever a back run of Punch can be found. “H’m,” said Mr. Pike. “Driving without a license, eh? Any­ thing to say?” George had... He had been driving without a license for Endnotes: twenty years. “Reckless driving? Speeding? Improper turns ? Going through 1 Wodehouse was not forgotten by Punch after 1963, seven red lights and refusing to stop when ordered to by a though. For several years in the late 1980s and early policeman? Looks bad, George.” 1990s, the magazine’s financial page carried the title Mr. Clemons admitted that superficially his actions might “ O ofy Prosser’s Money Column,” and sometimes seem to call for comment, but not if you examined them more contained first-person references to the Drones Club, closely and got the full story. etc. “It wasn’t really my fault, your honour,” he said. “I was drunk at the time.”2* 2 “America Day By Day,” 8/8/56. 3 “Our Man in America,” 2/2/61 4 “America Day by Day,” 11/20/57 Here we have the Wodehouse court scene in a nut­ 5 “Our Man in America,” 9/26/62 shell: slightly potty defendant, mildly censorious judge, 6 For instance, “Our Man in America,” 3/22/61, nonviolent crime. The scenes often end with the pass­ 6/26/63. ing of sentence, as well as a phrase commenting on the 7 “Our Man in America,” 6/26/63. impending incarceration of the miscreant. 8 “Our Man in America,” 3/27/63. The court scenes here did give Wodehouse one 9 “Our Man in America,” 4/20/60. opportunity he lacked in his novels: the chance to show 10 “Our Man in America,” 7/6/60. true criminals as the defendants. In most of his fiction, n “Our Man in America,” 1/11/61. the defendant standing before Sir Watkyn Bassett or 12 “Our Man in America,” 5/22/63.

18 Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autum n 1997 13 Wodehouse’s Sherlockian Mulliner story, “From a \yonEHOUSIAN PLEASANTRY Detective’s Notebook,” was first published in Punch, between numbers of the first series (5/20/ 5 9 ). 14 For example, Walter Kerr of the New York Herald- Tribune is discussed in the “America Day by Day” column o f 8/28/57. 15 “America Day by Day,” 3/12/58. 16 “Our Man in America,” 8/8/62 17 “America Day by Day,” 1/20/60. 18 “ America Day by D ay,” 6/4/58. 19 “O ur Man in America,” 6/26/63. 20 “America Day by D ay,” 4/17/57, 21 “America Day by Day,” 12/11/57. This article also contains what is probably Plum’s only reference to Dr. Joyce Brothers. 22 “America Day by Day,” 4/17/57 23 “Our Man in America,” 6/15/60.

'fH E JIMPRESS JIVES t

avid Landman sent this invitation to a special dinner held in New York City on J anuary 6 of this Dyear. The invitation reads: Ail Evening of Wodehousian Pleasantry Please join us for a merry evening honoring exemplary individuals whose talents and contri­ rancine Kitts found this snazzy jewelry in a recent butions have encouraged and sustained Catho­ New Yorker. Serious pig lovers will, of course, buy lics o f good cheer throughout the years. Ftheir bracelets in solid gold. The “Jeeves” Award, celebrating the achieve­ ment of those who contributed joy and insight to our public life, will be presented to James P. McFadden of the Human Life Review and Catho­ lic Eye. The [Peke] followed him. It appeared to have no legs, but to move by faith alone. The black-tie event was co-sponsored by Crisis Maga­ “Lord Emsworth Acts for the Best,” zine and the Wethersfield Institute, at a cost of$ioo per Blandings Castle and Elsewhere, 1935 person. I’m delighted to see one more example of how Wodehouse gives joy to the world. — OM

Plum Lines V0I17 No 3 Autumn 1997 19 QUTSTANDINC; IN THEIR FIELD

Marilyn writes, “Obviously Uncle Tom Travers be­ queathed his collection to the Victoria and Albert Museum. Here’s part of it. Another silver cow creamer on display has a 'textured5 skin (shallow markings on the silver sur­ face) and a not-so-sappv ex­ pression on its face.55 It isn’t easy to guess what these cows are staring at in such glassy-eyed amazement. Flying saucers, maybe> At any rate, I rejoice to see that the V&A has nothing to do with the modern Dutch upstarts of the 19th century. ' - O M

M arilyn M acG regor and Elizabeth Hamilton both encountered this extraordi­ nary photograph on postcards at the Victoria and Albert Museum, London, and sent them to Elin. On the other side o f the postcard is printed “ Herd o f cow creamers. Silver and silver-gilt, mid 18th century. Made in London. All mark of John Schuppe.”

CONTENTS VOLUNTEER OFFICERS

Bingeing in Cape M ay 1 Information and new memberships The heirs of Lord Emsworth 3 Marilyn MacGregor Convention schedule (provisional) 4 3215-5 Bermuda Ave. Convention registrants 5 Davis CA 95616 Status of proposed constitution 6 Dues payments and address changes Wodehouse and Raymond Chandler 6 Tom Wainwright Cyrille Toumanoff 7 220 Grover Lane P. G. Wodehouse on the World Wide Web 7 Walnut Creek CA 94596 New members 8 9 Contributions to Plum Lines Helen (Nella) Wodehouse 10 Ed Ratcliffe, OM Elin Woodger, AD 1999 convention site needed 10 538 San Lorenzo Ave. 135 Elm St. The original of Rosie M. Banks 11 Felton CA 95018 Everett MA 02149 Chapters corner 11 [email protected] [email protected] “Shufflin Sam” goes to Canada 12 An acrostic 12 Dues are $20 per year Curses! Foiled again! 14 “ Our Man in America” 16 All quotations from P. G. Wodehouse are reprinted by Outstanding in their field 20 permission of the Copyright Owner, the Trustees of the Wodehouse Estate.

20 Plum Lines Vol 17 No 3 Autum n 1997