WHAT HAPPENED TO... FACTS SUMMER LOVIN’ Curious about the fates of your favorite child actors? Check out the latest in Cadenza’s newest column. ON LAX Trying to decide whether to escalate that budding relationship? Sarara Remedios prprovidesovides advice in Women’s club lacrosse ends the today’s Scene. season with a winning record. Check PAGE 7 out Sports for a team profile. PAGE 6 PAGE 8

Sthe independentTUDENT newspaper of Washington University in St. Louis LIFE since eighteen seventy-eight- eight Vol. 130 No. 77 www.studlife.com Friday, April 10, 2009 ‘An evening you’ll never get back’: School honors LGBT leaders

Dan Woznica versity’s current relationship with the Editors of ‘The Onion’ speak at WU News Editor gay community. “I think it really illustrates that Wash. U. has come a long way with David Messenger Jim Holobaugh, Washington Uni- its gay policies and I think the fact News Editor versity Class of 1990, was the guest that it’s recognizing LGBT leadership of honor Tuesday evening at the in- shows how far the school’s come,” augural James M. Holobaugh Hon- Buchel said. Chad Nackers and John Harris, edi- ors, an awards ceremony recognizing The awards ceremony was orga- tors of “The Onion,” spoke at Graham leadership and service to the lesbian, nized by Michael Brown, director of Chapel yesterday in an Assembly Series gay, bisexual and transgender com- LGBT Student Leadership and In- talk sponsored by WUnderground and munity. volvement at the University. Brown Washington University Libraries. Holobaugh, a cadet in the Univer- said that he sees the ceremony, which The Onion is a “fake news” news- sity’s Reserve Offi cer Training Corps will become an annual tradition, as paper that puts a satirical spin on inter- (ROTC) at the time, had his scholar- both a University and local commu- national, national and local news. The ship revoked in 1990 after he came nity event for the LGBT community. paper comes out in print and online out as gay. The Army eventually re- “The hope, in part, is to raise editions and is responsible for the fake versed its decision, but Holobaugh’s awareness on campus about the work news Web broadcast, The Onion News case was one that drew national atten- that’s being done in the community, Network. tion during the early 1990s. and then also to let the community “The Onion” also recently pub- The awards ceremony has been know that the institution supports lished the book “Our Dumb World,” organized in part to commemorate the work that they’re doing,” Brown which topped The New York Times’ Holobaugh’s story. said. bestsellers list. “It’s a tremendous honor,” Ho- “The Onion” was founded by two lobaugh said about receiving his Holobaugh on “Don’t Ask, Don’t students in their dorm at the University award and having the ceremony Tell” and WU’s improved gay of Wisconsin-Madison in 1988. named for him. “And when I found climate The evening with Nackers and Har- out who the other award winners ris started with a comedic welcome were, I was even more honored.” Prior to the ceremony, Holobaugh from the editors and a slide for the audi- The other honorees at the cer- sat down for dinner at Ibby’s with ence that read “An evening you’ll never emony, which was held in Holmes several leaders of LGBT groups on get back.” Lounge, were Thomas Brounk, chief campus. During the meal, Holobaugh “Welcome to our eight-hour talk on of mental health services at the Habif discussed his opinion of the military’s business synergy,” Harris said. Health and Wellness Center; Nancy current “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” pol- Nackers and Harris’ talk included MATT MITGANG | STUDENT LIFE Twilley, doctoral candidate in the icy keeping gays and lesbians from references to the type of stories that Chad Nackers and John Harris of “The Onion” speak about the satirical paper in Graham Chapel on Thursday. German department; Lori Weingar- serving openly in the military. “The Onion” covers, such as history ten, 2008 University graduate; and “I think it’s a bad policy,” Ho- from colonial America to the moon which stories to put in the paper,” they policy that the readers should have no said they enjoyed the humorous talk the LGBT Community Center of lobaugh said. “I think it should change. landing, local news, 9/11, former Presi- wrote in the e-mail. “We try to strike a voice whatsoever and that the newspa- and were glad for the opportunity. Metropolitan St. Louis. I think it will change probably in the dent George W. Bush, the Iraq war, the balance between big political stories, per shall be solely a one-way conduit “It was really funny. I haven’t read The executive director of the not-too-distant future. It’s enforced in 2008 presidential election, sports and entertainment, and local ‘slice of life’ of information,” according to the pub- ‘The Onion’ much before, but I will LGBT Community Center, who goes a very haphazard manner.” feature photoss. stories. Because we can make jokes lication’s biography on Greater Talent now,” sophomore Elena Hight said. by Blue, her performance name in Holobaugh said he believes that The editors also discussed various about any subject, there’s a lot of room Network. “The Onion has no political Members of WUnderground, Wash- public, said she was happy to receive the military does not implement mock headlines that have been printed to comment on anything.” affi liation: It is the paper’s goal to mock ington University’s own satirical news- the award on behalf of the organiza- its policy fairly. According to Ho- in past issues of “The Onion,” includ- The editors mentioned that they mercilessly the left and the right, the paper, said they consider the event a tion, which has been open for about lobaugh, the military allows some ing “Black man asks for change” in a also try to choose topics that still will be powerful and the weak, the deserving success and, as fellow satirists, thought a year. openly gay members to serve in its piece about Obama and “Recent school considered humorous after it is immedi- and the utterly innocent.” it was a great learning experience. “It’s encouraging and humbling offi cer corps and medical professions shootings prepare students for being ately published. According to Nackers and Harris, “I think it went really well,” said to know, even at this early stage of even though it discharges gay offi cers shot in real life.” “We want something to be funny there are “Onion” readers who believe senior Cole Randle, WUnderground’s the Center’s physical presence, that in lower ranks. In addition, they showed an unaired 10 years down the road,” they wrote. the content contained in its articles is “Commander-In-Chief.” “It was very it’s being felt by the community and, “They need a uniform policy that Onion News Network clip and demon- “But 10 years is the cut-off, after that it factual and serious. interesting. We got to talk to them be- probably even more so, from a uni- doesn’t discriminate against gays and strated before-and-after shots of Photo- doesn’t need to be funny anymore. Oc- “Occasionally, people will believe fore the event about what they do and versity,” Blue said. lesbians,” he said. shopped news photos. casionally, we will fast-track a news-in- stories or want to believe stories so we how they come up with an article. Switching to discussions of the Prior to the event, Nackers and Har- brief, if there’s something that we think make sure that they aren’t set straight,” We’re comparing notes a little bit on Event refl ects progress of gay com- University, Holobaugh said he is hap- ris answered a series of questions about is really important to comment on.” they wrote. “The main criticism that we writing styles that will pay off for us. munity at University, in St. Louis py with the current state of the Uni- “The Onion” in an e-mail interview According to the biography of “The get is that a reader will write to us and It was a pleasure to have them and we versity’s LGBT community. with Student Life. Onion,” its articles are not biased to- say ‘I normally fi nd your paper funny, hope it inspires more people to pick up Sophomore Jason Buchel, co- “My observation is that gay life According to Nackers and Harris, ward any particular group or political but now that you’re making fun of [in- WUnderground.” president of the University’s LGBT in general at Wash. U. is much more “The Onion” is very particular about affi liation. sert topic that relates to me here], I’m peer-educating group Safe Zones, robust than it was when I was here,” the type of stories it covers. “The Onion’s motto is ‘Tu Stultus really upset.’” With additional reporting by Scott attended the ceremony and said he “It all starts with arguing about Es’—‘You Are Dumb.’ It is editorial Students who attended the event Fabricant felt that it refl ected well on the Uni- See LGBT, page 3 Activist discusses status of Gaza Strip, West Bank Locks of Love on the rise Kelly Fahy level. Step up publicity, step up our John Scott Staff Reporter visibility in the DUC the day, all of News Editor that kind of stuff,” Hartstein said. “We’re actually really happy with With the success of the Locks of how it turned out.” Activist and author Anna Baltzer Love event held in the Danforth Uni- Haircuts were provided by D- presented “Life in Occupied Palestine: versity Center on Monday, the orga- Zine Hair and Art Studio, which nor- Eyewitness Stories and Photos” to a nization appears to be on the rise at mally charges up to $65 per haircut. crowd of around 80 students and other Washington University. The organization donated its exper- members of the Washington University “We were thrilled with how it tise to the event. and local community. turned out—just so much improve- “They’re trying to, obviously, do The lecture addressed conditions in ment since last semester,” said this great thing for Locks of Love, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip and sophomore Kimberly Hartstein, vice and it is incredible that they just included historical information and pic- president of Locks of Love. “It was donate everything,” Hartstein said. tures from the time she spent in the area. insane!” “They give awesome haircuts.” Baltzer’s visit was a part of the ongo- With the event held this past Students receiving haircuts are ing efforts of the Students for a Peace- Monday, Locks of Love demonstrat- similarly happy with the quality. ful Palestinian-Israeli Future (SPPIF) ed its growing presence on campus. “I [had my hair cut at a Locks of to raise greater awareness and increase At the event, haircuts were available Love event] in the fall, and when I’m MATT LANTER | STUDENT LIFE SAM GUZIK | STUDENT LIFE discussion surrounding the issue. to interested students and faculty. up at school, it’s not the same as get- Locks of Love held an event on Author and activist Anna Baltzer speaks about her experiences in the West Baltzer works with the Interna- For a regular haircut, a $20 fee is ting your hair cut at home,” senior Monday in the Danforth Univercity Bank and the Gaza Strip at a talk on Tuesday. Baltzer was brought in by the tional Women’s Peace Service, a group charged. If the haircut recipient do- Amanda Bennett said. “But they do Center Fun Room. The organization Students for a Peaceful Palestinian-Israeli Future. dedicated to documenting human rights nates 10 inches of hair, the haircut a really good job and it’s a lot less raised $1,280 from the event. abuses and nonviolent protest in Pales- cards. port of Fatah, the opposition party to is free. money and it’s a good cause, too.” tine. “You can’t have a Jewish majority Hamas, as a source of violence. Last semester, the organization Others recognize that getting a Locks of Love has operated at “I basically didn’t believe what peo- without denying the rights of Christians “People who are under this kind of raised $800 from haircuts and col- haircut at the Locks of Love event the University for nearly a decade. ple were telling me,” Baltzer said of the and Muslims here,” she said of the poli- situation are not all going to respond lected 21 locks of hair. Although is benefi cial to both the students and Its current offi cers are endeavoring conditions in Palestinian areas. cies in the areas. nonviolently,” she added. this is a signifi cant amount, Locks the charity. to sort out the organization’s records Baltzer discussed issues like check- Baltzer concluded her presentation Senior Roei Eisenberg, who at- of Love sought to raise more money “I have quite a few friends in this and setup before they pass them points in the West Bank, Israeli settle- with a slideshow of protests in the West tended the event, challenged Baltzer and collect more locks for the charity organization, so they tell me about it down to the next group of coordi- ments and how territory has changed Bank, after which she proceeded to take on her statements about the violence in at this semester’s events. and it’s good for everyone,” junior nators. The organization intends to hands over the past 60 years. questions from the audience. Some stu- the region. Eisenberg, a member of the “All the hair is sent to Locks of Min Yoo said. “It saves me time be- continue to develop its presence at “This really is a colonization of dents challenged her representation of Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Love to make wigs for children that cause I don’t have to go anywhere the University. these Palestinian lands,” Baltzer said of the region. Reporting in America (CAMERA), are affl icted by hair-loss-causing else, and it’s for a good cause.” “We’re trying to stay with the Israeli settlements. In response to a question concern- said he was skeptical about some of the diseases,” Hartstein said. “Then all At the recent event, there was also trajectory we’re on. Keep growing, Baltzer estimated that four out of ing whether she believed withdrawing things Baltzer said. the money from the $20 haircuts is a professional photographer from keep getting more people involved fi ve settlers lived there for economic Israeli forces would end Hamas rocket After the event, Eisenberg said he donated to offset the costs of the wig Laughing Penguins Photobooth Stu- because a lot of people think that reasons and said the Israeli government fi re, Baltzer responded, “We should had already anticipated what Baltzer production.” dio to take before-and-after photos it’s just ‘donate 10 inches and if you pays them to do so, as does the United at least be honest with ourselves that was going to discuss. This Monday, the organization of haircut recipients. The company don’t have 10 inches you can’t par- States indirectly through foreign aid. Hamas was elected to represent the Pal- “I knew exactly what she was going raised $1,280 from 64 haircuts and provided this service free of charge. ticipate,’ but we’re trying to make Baltzer said that travel restrictions estinian people. The response from the to say,” he said. “[The presentation] was collected 30 locks of hair. “It was all donated,” Hartstein it more of an event for everybody,” are also enforced by the requirement U.S. was to boycott Hamas.” “We had been working…to kind said. “We were just very thankful to Hartstein said. that people carry around identifi cation Baltzer also pointed to foreign sup- See BALTZER, page 3 of take this whole thing to the next have that.” ® One Brookings Drive #1039 Newsroom: (314) 935-5995 Editor: [email protected] Please #330 Danforth University Center Advertising: (314) 935-6713 News: [email protected] www.studlife.com St. Louis, MO 63130-4899 Fax: (314) 935-5938 Calendar: [email protected] Recycle 2 STUDENT LIFE | NEWS News Editor / Kat Zhao / [email protected] FRIDAY | APRIL 10, 2009

weatherforecast Friday 10 Saturday 11 Sunday 12

Rain Mostly Sunny Partly Sunny High 53 High 60 High 59 THE FLIPSIDE Low 38 Low 40 Low 44 eventcalendar International Campus Earthquake shakes Italy, killing 278 WU to open child care center in fall of 2010

Officials estimate at least 278 people are dead after a 6.3-magnitude earthquake Washington University plans to open its own childcare center on its North FRIDAY 10 struck the city of L’Aquila, Italy, early Monday morning. Campus by the fall of 2010. Three aftershocks, measuring from 4.3 to 4.8 magnitudes, occurred within six Currently, the University has its own nursery center but no actual childcare Diplo at the Gargoyle hours of the quake, which struck at 3:32 a.m. center for most of the University’s faculty, staff and students’ children. Gargoyle, 7:30 p.m. The death toll has continued to rise. After three days of valiant effort, search Children have to be enrolled in either the St. Louis Children’s Hospital or Philadelphia-based DJ and recording artist teams are still finding more survivors underneath the rubble. The area around the the University City Children’s Center. These centers, however, have limited Diplo, known for his “hip-tronic” style and epicenter continues to experience aftershocks, hampering the jobs of the rescuers. openings. work with performing artist M.I.A., will be Approximately 28,000 residents lost their homes in the quake. A large number of The childcare center will be able to care for 150 to 175 children from 6 performing. The concert is free for those these people have been forced to live temporarily in tents. Italian officials promise weeks to 6 years old. with a Washington University ID and $15 to help these survivors rebuild their homes as soon as possible. The University will pay for the facility’s construction and maintenance. for the general public. There will be a mass funeral for the victims at 11 a.m. on Friday. (Sally Wang) Families who use the center will pay for normal operations. Bright Horizons Family Solutions will be in charge of the childcare center. (Lauren Olens) African fashion show Holmes Lounge, 7:30 p.m. Enjoy this fashion performance, the much- National anticipated conclusion to Africa Week. Doors open at 7 p.m. Posthumous citizenship for victims of N.Y. shooting APO Trivia Night policebeat DUC, Tisch Commons, 6:30 p.m. news briefs Form a team or join a team and test your New York’s two senators have proposed legislation to grant honorary U.S. PROPERTY DAMAGE—April 4, 2009, Disposition: Pending. knowledge. Prizes and bragging rights are citizenships posthumously to 11 of the victims in the deadly shootings on Friday in 4:31 p.m. on the line. $5 entry fee. Binghamton, N.Y. Location: WOHL CENTER LARCENY—April 7, 2009, 5:37 p.m. The assailant in the shootings, identified as Jiverly Wong, entered the American Summary: Windshield found damaged by Location: WOHL CENTER Civic Association (ACA) and shot 17 people, killing 13 of them before mortally unknown means on the parking lot east of Summary: Bon Appétit employee reported wounding himself. Wohl Center. Time of crime between 4:10 a theft from his unsecured locker between 9 p.m. and 4:25 p.m. a.m. 5:25 p.m. The ACA is a center that offers assistance to immigrants and refugees. Eleven Disposition: Pending. Disposition: Pending. of the 13 who were killed were seeking American citizenship at the time of their deaths. LARCENY—April 4, 2009, 5:09 p.m. AUTO ACCIDENT—April 7, 2009, 7:19 SATURDAY 11 New York Sens. Charles Schumer and Kristen Gillibrand hope this new Location: PARK HOUSE p.m. legislation will grant those 11 the citizenship they were trying to obtain before their Summary: Complainant reported his Location: BROOKINGS DRIVE murders. If the legislation passes, these individuals will be considered citizens as of unsecured bicycle was stolen on March 23 Summary: Bicyclist and vehicle collided Art Prom the time of their deaths. (Kelly Fahy) between 1 a.m. and 11:50 a.m. Value $350. causing minor injury to the cyclist. Surprise location, 8:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. Disposition: Unfounded. Bike located at Disposition: Cleared. Art Council presents this year’s Art Prom, Mudd. “Cartoon Kaleidoscope,” at a secret TRESPASSING—April 7, 2009, 7:01 p.m. location. Buses begin leaving from the State AUTO ACCIDENT—April 4, 2009, 5:36 Location: ART SCHOOL COMPLEX Brookings parking lot at 8:30 p.m. and the p.m. Summary: A student reported a suspicious Location: DANFORTH GARAGE person who made her feel uncomfortable. last bus leaves at 10:30 p.m. Tickets are $10 Mo. House votes to ban junk food, soda in schools Summary: Bus struck the overhead height The student described the person as a B/F, and will be on sale today from 11 a.m. until estimator that is located at the entrance to pink baseball cap, black jacket. Offi cers 1 p.m. in the DUC and Steinberg Café. garage. The sign was damaged by one side located a subject who has been warned and falling off of the wires and was hanging in arrested in the past for trespassing. Subject WUStock (featuring The Hush Sound) The Missouri House of Representatives voted 135-19 in favor of legislation the entrance to the garage. There was no was taken into custody for trespassing. The Swamp, noon to 7 p.m. that sets nutrition requirements for food and drinks sold in public schools. The visible damage to vehicle. Disposition: Cleared. Enjoy great music, delicious food bill now goes to the Missouri Senate. Disposition: Cleared. and exciting activities on the Swamp. Snack foods with 300 or more calories are among those banned. Limits AUTO ACCIDENT—April 7, 2009, 9:30 Performers include The Hush Sound, Jack on fat and sugar and minimum amounts of eight different nutrients including AUTO ACCIDENT—April 4, 2009, 6:10 p.m. p.m. Location: PARKING LOT No. 9 and Jills, Clive and the Greg, Kevin and Nic calcium have been imposed. The law also regulates food in vending machines Location: BROOKINGS DRIVE Summary: Two vehicles, no injuries. Awesome Band. This is a guaranteed great and school fundraisers. Drinks must be 100 percent fruit juice or include at least 25 percent fruit Summary: Complainant reported person Disposition: Cleared. day right in the South 40’s backyard. unknown struck his vehicle and left the juice with water. Flavored water can be offered at schools if there are zero scene. Time of crime between 12 p.m. and calories. Skim or low-fat milk is also allowed. Daily gym class will also 5 p.m. become mandatory through eighth grade. The law would effect in July 2011. (Johann Qua Hiansen) quoteoftheday “The topic is passionate, it INTERESTED touches millions of people and I think it’s important IN PHOTOGRAPHY? to be heard. It was pleas- antly surprising to fi nd email [email protected] somebody like her who un- derstands the history, the present and has a vision

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1320 Washington Ave T-shirts & gift cards available On Manchester, one block west of Hanley FRIDAY | APRIL 10, 2009 News Editor / Kat Zhao / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | NEWS 3 STUDENT LIFE One Brookings Drive #1039 #330 Danforth University Center Student photo contest to return to campus Saint Louis, MO 63130-4899 News: (314) 935-5995 ues the student perspective and what case the photo would then be moved Senior Alwyn Loh is a photogra- Loh added, however, that what re- Advertising: (314) 935-6713 Alan Liu Fax: (314) 935-5938 that’s all about. So he’s requested that to the upstairs hallway of the DUC. pher who has had his photos used by ally makes the picture is its human sen- Staff Reporter e-mail: [email protected] this initiative be started and I think it’s After the display rotation, the framed the University. Loh agrees with the timent. www.studlife.com a neat way for students to have their photographs will be presented to the objectives that the contest tries to ac- “Most importantly is the depth of Copyright 2009 The Offi ce of the Vice Chancellor images celebrated, displayed and uti- students. complish. emotion within the picture itself. It can for Students is looking to capture life lized,” Schnell said. “The idea is to The only technical requirements for “This is a great opportunity for stu- be a moment of great elation at Dance Editor in Chief: Perry Stein on campus from students’ perspectives have an ongoing mode to which stu- entry are that the submitted photo must dents to showcase their photographic Marathon, a somber one at Relay For Associate Editor: Brian Krigsher by initiating a photo contest, which the dents can submit images, which can be be at least 5 inches by 7 inches and 300 and creative talents to the student body. Life, a stage full of smiles from senior Managing Editors: Josh Goldman, offi ce hopes will become a University used for multiple purposes.” dots per inch (dpi). Since the Danforth University Center dance, an awkward group shot with the Michelle Stein, Dennis Sweeney, tradition. Three winners will be selected and In addition to being displayed in the was built primarily to serve students, it chancellor or simply a photo of people Evan Wiskup The new contest, called Wash. U. have their photograph professionally DUC, the winning photographs could makes good sense that it also be deco- covered in mud at Holi.” Senior News Editor: Kat Zhao Focus, is accepting submissions for its printed and framed in a 24-inch by 36- also be used for University publications rated with the creative output of the un- Schnell emphasizes that the pur- Senior Forum Editor: Kate Gaertner inaugural cycle until April 30. Starting inch fi nal product. The framed photo or Web sites. dergraduate student body,” Loh said. pose of the contest is not to produce the Senior Sports Editor: Johann in the fall, the contest will have three has an estimated value of $350. “In the past, I think we’ve been For Loh, the “perfect” photo con- most professional-looking shot. Qua Hiansen Senior Scene Editor: Paula Lauris submission cycles every academic There is also a cash prize of $150 lacking an organized collection of im- tains the balance of aesthetics, emotion “Students shouldn’t be intimidated Senior Cadenza Editor: Stephanie Spera year. and $50 for the fi rst and second-place ages by students that document the stu- and technical mastery in one single to submit their photos because they Senior Photo Editor: Matt Mitgang According to Alicia Schnell, man- winners, respectively. dents’ experiences,” Schnell said. “We shot. aren’t professional photos. Really, the Senior Graphics Editor: Mike Hirshon ager of strategic planning and special Each contestant is permitted to have our campus photographers, but “Ideally, the composition of the im- point is to show what their experience Online Editor: Scott Bressler projects and the person heading up the submit up to fi ve entries. Winning their perspective is a little bit different age should be able to portray a distinct is like and the cool things that happen Director of New Media: Sam Guzik project, the idea for the contest origi- photographs will be displayed in the because they’re not students who are in aspect of the undergraduate experience here, and things that the campus pho- Design Chief: Brittany Meyer nated from the administration. Danforth University Center (DUC) for the thick of it. They are outsiders who that students will be able identify with tographers might not capture,” Schnell News Editors: Eliza Adelson, David Mes- “The idea actually comes from three months with the possible exten- are observing the students, so we really in an aesthetically beautiful manner,” said. “They’re not hanging around the senger, John Scott, Dan Woznica Dean [James] McLeod, who really val- sion of another three months, in which wanted to get an insiders’ perspective.” he said. dorms at 3 o’clock in the morning.” Assignment Editor: Lauren Olens News Manager: Michelle Merlin Forum Editors: Charlie Bohlen, Aditya Sarvesh, Eve Samborn, AJ Sundar LGBT from page 1 Cadenza Editors: Cici Coquillette, Percy Olsen, Craig Ostrin, New center at Berkeley Holobaugh said. “It was basically acy he leaves behind at the Univer- Hannah Schwartz invisible—there were a few gay sity is being picked up by its LGBT Scene Editors: Robyn Husa, Hana Schus- people hiding in corners. It seems community. ter, Agnes Trenche very different now, and I think that’s “To be honest, I didn’t really Sports Editors: Becky Chanis, Scott a great thing.” think there was much institutional Drattell, Alex Dropkin to emphasize research Holobaugh said he was as sur- memory about what happened,” Ho- Photo Editors: Daniel Eicholtz, Matt Lanter, Lily Schorr prised as he was happy that the leg- lobaugh said. Design Editors: Nicole Dankner, Susan Hall, Katie Sadow, Zoë Scharf Copy Chief: Puneet Kollipara in conservative politics Assistant Copy Chief: Rachel Noccioli BALTZER from page 1 Copy Editors: Lauren Nolte, Caro Peguero, Robyn Husa what I expected it to be. She clearly situation would be like 50 years from Designers: Mia Feitel, Evan Freedman, Will be one of the has an agenda and a bias, and her now. Katrina Jongman-Sereno, Liz Klein, story just doesn’t add up.” Baltzer responded that the current Laura Kornhauser, Courtney LeGates, Isaac Lobel, Brandon Lucius Ashley fi rst of its kind SPPIF President Robert Fares, a strategy is not sustainable in the long Nault, Lyndsay Nevins, Eric Rosenbaum, junior, said that in bringing Baltzer to run. Kate Rothman, Michael Yang, Michelle Merlin campus, the group wanted to “present “Is pissing off the entire Muslim News Manager diverse ideas to the Wash. U. com- world really in [Israel’s] best inter- General Manager: Andrew O’Dell munity. “ est?” Baltzer said. Advertising Manager: Sara Judd “I think this is an idea that hasn’t “The topic is passionate, it touches Copyright 2009 Washington University Student The University of California, Berke- been presented a whole lot here,” he millions of people and I think it’s im- Media, Inc. (WUSMI). Student Life is the fi nan- ley, home of a historically left-wing said. portant to be heard. It was pleasantly cially and editorially independent, student-run newspaper serving the Washington University student body, will soon be opening an Fares said that he was pleased that surprising to fi nd somebody like her community. First copy of each publication is free; all additional copies are 50 cents. Subscriptions institution focused on conservative poli- the presentation drew so many opin- who understands the history, the pres- may be purchased for $99.00 by calling tics. ions from audience members. ent and has a vision for the future,” (314) 935-6713. The institution—named the Cen- “I would love for them to have Nawas said after the event. Student Life is a publication of WUSMI and does ter for the Comparison of Right-Wing some sort of forum to get together Sophomore David Warnock said not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the Washington University administra- Movements—will be one of the fi rst SAM GUZIK | STUDENT LIFE and speak to each other. We try and he became interested in the issue fol- tion, faculty or students. All Student Life articles, Located in Seigle Hall, the Weidenbaum Center on the Economy government photos and graphics are the property of WUSMI of its kind in the American academic do that. People like coming to speak- lowing the most recent military op- and may not be reproduced or published without world. and Public policy is a non-partisan multidisciplinary research center. ers more than coming to sit down and erations in the Gaza Strip. He did not the express written consent of the General Manager. Pictures and graphics printed in Student Washington University, however, Other than Berkeley, a few uni- left-wing perspective—a bias that the talk,” Fares said. believe the event was motivated by Life are available for purchase; e-mail editor@ will most likely never establish such versities around the country also have Berkeley institution may help counter- Talat Nawas, a St. Louis resident a particular political agenda, and he studlife.com for more information. Student Life reserves the right to edit all submissions for style, an institution, since professors who research institutions with a partisan act. who identifi es himself as a Palestin- thought Baltzer was only presenting grammar, length and accuracy. The intent of sub- conduct research within academic de- focus. Weidenbaum classifi es Stanford “I think there is kind of a liberal ian refugee, was among those who what she saw. missions will not be altered. Student Life reserves the right not to publish all submissions. partments say that the nature of their re- University’s Hoover Institute as a right- slant to a lot of [what we study], not just attended the presentation. “These types of events have a If you’d like to place an ad, please contact the search should be without political bias. of-center research institution. Bard Col- to how it’s studied or what the outcome “We [Palestinians] are not going tendency to have an ideological twist, Advertising Department at (314) 935-6713. The University does have several lege’s Levy Institute, by contrast, con- of the research is, but what we study,” to go away,” Nawas said when he but I think this one was very bal- If you wish to report an error or request research centers that cross borders be- ducts left-wing research. Fischer said. asked Baltzer what she thought the anced,” Warnock said. a clarifi cation, e-mail [email protected]. tween academic departments, such as “We don’t have [partisanship] at Other students at the University said the Weidenbaum Center on the Econo- Wash. U., and I like the idea that rep- that while professors may be biased one my, Government and Public Policy. licates either of those outputs,” We- way or the other in their teaching, this “We have some specialized research idenbaum said. “We like a place where does not detract from the overall learn- institutes, but when you talk about right- each member makes up his or her mind, ing experience. wing, left-wing, I’m not sure I can fi nd where there’s not a party line.” “Obviously, within an institution, any examples in either category be- Conservative students at the Uni- professors who have tenure can say cause the research institutes are not very versity, however, are in favor of the whatever they want to say and hold any politically oriented,” said Professor development at Berkeley. Senior Charis beliefs and very publicly hold those be- of Economics Murray Weidenbaum, Fischer, outgoing president of the Col- liefs,” senior Lee Cordova said. “I think for whom the Weidenbaum Center is lege Republicans, said that although that’s a great part of our institutions.” named. Weidenbaum was chairman of specialized research centers should not Other students also saw political bi- former President Ronald Reagan’s fi rst replace research done within depart- ases in a positive light, but said it was Council of Economic Advisers. ments, their presence allows for a focus up to the students to determine the truth According to its Web site, the We- on neglected areas of study. in what they learn in class. idenbaum Center is “a non-profi t, “Nationalism and libertarianism— “I think that professors—all of our nonpartisan research organization” those topics and philosophies aren’t professors—are biased, and I frankly and works between the economics really explored as much in most uni- don’t care whether they’re liberals or and political science departments. The versities,” Fischer said. “I think with conservatives. I’d just appreciate if center offers programs in multinational the purpose of exploring those topics, it they’d acknowledge their bias,” sopho- enterprises in the global economy, citi- makes sense; it’s not about being more more Michael Hopper said. “It’s up to zenship, civil society and democratic right-wing necessarily.” us to be reasonable and informed. Part values, American politics and macro- Fischer added that most courses of being an educated person is being economic policy.” at major universities come from a able to argue your opinion effectively.”

BRIGHT MINDS. BRIGHT CITY. Complete a cluster Focus on a hard course Put your prerequisites in order BRIGHT Take a course in your major Have fun with a ghost or vampire course SUMMER. And then head for the sun! SUMMER SESSIONS 2009

It’s never too early to start thinking about summer. Enjoy all that Chicago has to off er while taking a class to lighten your load for the fall. Register today. For a full list of courses, visit LUC.edu/summer. all while wearing your Þip Þops!

Check the Summer School website for full course listings and information. Registration begins March 25th! ÃՓ“iÀÃV œœ°ÜÕÃ̏°i`ÕÊUÊΣ{°™Îx°ÈÇää 4 STUDENT LIFE | FORUM Forum Editor / Kate Gaertner / [email protected] FRIDAY | APRIL 10, 2009

FORUM STAFF EDITORIAL Labeled Continual emphasis on safety misunderstandings imperative for ThurtenE construction

sensing, rather than by intuition, wo weekends from now, ity event. They sacrifi ce an entire sign a waiver and pass a construc- ity on the lot received professional can explain why they behave the the Washington Universi- week of the semester, staying on tion safety test. All fraternity and construction training to accompany way they do, and it can enable us ty community will engage the ThurtenE lot almost all the sorority members involved in the professional nature of the carni- to play to our friends’ strengths. in a long-held tradition: time. For this, ThurtenE Honorary construction must watch an instruc- val. With this provision, ThurtenE Knowing that two people share ThurtenE T Carnival. In past years, deserves our respect and admira- tional video and there is a Web will be able to continue its tradition a personality type can bring ThurtenE Honorary, which runs the tion. Sometimes, however, it is site available to students for more of success without compromising out commonalities that lie just carnival, has received criticism for diffi cult to remember that ThurtenE information about the tools used student safety. beneath the surface. It can help us its ambiguous sources of funding Carnival is entirely run by students, on the lot. This year the University Construction chairs, pledges to reach an understanding of the and for not disclosing the amount and that its success rests entirely has taken even greater action to and devoted members of campus role of personality in a world in of money raised by the carnival for upon their shoulders. ensure student safety by providing fraternities and sororities spend which we often assess ourselves the charities it claims to support. Inexperienced fraternity pledges construction hats and fl oodlights almost all of their time on the lot in terms of talents and interests. Members of the honorary maintain often wield construction tools and to participating students. Addition- during the week of the carnival, On top of that, the college years that the great service the carnival operate heavy machinery on very ally, Clayco Construction will have devoting all of their resources to are, for most of us, a lengthy provides is the unity with which little sleep. Because the con- cranes on site to help students lift creating professional-looking fa- quest to find ourselves, and it’s it endows the St. Louis commu- struction of the carnival depends the walls of their façades. çades and quality shows for enter- Kate Gaertner refreshing to find a paragraph nity: People of all ages celebrate entirely on college students, an Despite these enacted safety tainment. The focus of their work Senior Forum Editor that describes the way you ThurtenE at Wash. U., unifying the emphasis on ThurtenE safety is precautions, we cannot become is not to raise proceeds for charity, behave. University with the various com- imperative. complacent about ThurtenE con- but to create an event that resonates What I cannot appreciate, munities that surround it. In recent years the University struction safety. As past years have with the community. This unity is he Myers-Briggs though, is that the Myers-Briggs ThurtenE is both the largest and and ThurtenE have taken great shown, accidents do happen. We a feat that should not be neglected, personality test is, type indicator is—whether you the oldest student-run carnival in strides in improving students’ must ask ourselves whether this and the task performed by Thur- among other things, the admit it or not—another way of the nation. Fifteen college juniors safety. It is commendable that all is enough—perhaps it’s time the tenE Honorary is admirable. professional world’s pigeonholing people into catego- organize a professional-scale char- students on the lot are required to students with the most responsibil- Tway of getting to know you. If ries. INTP, ESTJ, ISFP—these you’ve never taken one, it’s a are labels, words that we use to diagnostic—often used in job in- understand people. In another era, terviews—that attempts to assess we used words like “black” and your personality in terms of the “gay,” and we thought we could way you experience the world. use them to understand those MCT CAMPUS EDITORIAL CARTOON The test puts you in four catego- around us. ries: Introverted or Extroverted, While this is a heady accusa- Intuition or Sensing, Thinking or tion, and most people own up to Feeling and Judging or Perceiv- their Myers-Briggs type, the idea ing. Upon completion of the test, that we each are composed of you are given a set of four letters some combination of four letters that describes your personality: is a single-layered understanding INTP (Introverted, Intuition, of those around us—an under- Thinking, Perceiving), ESTJ standing that takes into account (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, only what we are born as and not Judging) and so on. Each person- what we choose to be. It becomes ality type fits a definitive mold, easier to make excuses when we and each has a noun to accom- believe we are born with an in- pany it—for example, INTPs are nate personality, because we have Architects, INFJs are Counselors. a source of blame—for example, The idea of the Myers-Briggs a T who fails to empathize can test caught on with some of my blame it on her personality type, friends this summer, and I have to not on her purposeful lack of say that thinking about people in consideration. terms of Myers-Briggs subtypes And I suppose that, in the end, can be enlightening. There is all social scientific attempts to a Web site—personalitypage. understand others—economics, com—with lengthy descriptions psychology—fail on some level. of each personality type, and it is As much as they try, they can illuminating to read a description only understand people cat- of a personality type and to find egorically, neglecting to take that it describes a close friend into account minute distinctions perfectly. The way the four let- between backgrounds, person- ters arrange themselves creates a alities and interests. While the mode in which a person operates Myers-Briggs type indicator is a that, oftentimes, is shockingly good way to start thinking about apparent in the real world. the way people operate, the labels I think a paradigm like the it creates should by no means be Myers-Briggs test can be im- considered an end. mensely beneficial—after all, we’re all just trying to under- Kate is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences. stand one another. Just knowing She can be reached via e-mail at km that someone sees the world by [email protected]. The Truth Alliance

Fox Heather Kryczka problem is not our intentions, but let the administration know what Action has implemented the Truth Staff Columnist rather the method with which we we care about. Recently, Wash. U. Alliance to combat the miscon- approach the issues we care about. received research grants to study ceptions associated with the term Why do conservative rural “clean coal.” The project includes “clean coal” and to prevent our wo months ago, I was Missourians exert such a strong building a small-scale coal power university from endorsing the standing outside the infl uence on our representatives? plant that will use carbon capture term. While supporting Wash. U.’s unchecked Capitol Building in One factor is that they pay atten- and storage, a process that fi lters carbon capture and storage re- Washington, D.C., lobby- tion to the political system and carbon dioxide from burning coal search, the Truth Alliance presses ing T for climate change legislation, are constantly directly contacting emissions and injects the carbon the University to maintain integ- Aditya Sarvesh a full review of the movie “X- wearing a ridiculous green hard politicians. Some young people dioxide underground. However, rity concerning the inconsistencies Forum Editor Men Origins: Wolverine,” which hat, waving a sign that read “No are afraid of contacting authorities “clean coal” is a misnomer that of the term “clean coal” and works isn’t supposed to come out until Coal is Clean Coal” and shiver- because, stereotypically, young does not take into account the to ensure the coal research facility May 1. Needless to say, all hell ing in the snow. My experience people are not taken seriously. But dirty practices associated with does not participate in mountain- broke loose, and the columnist at Power Shift—a nationwide as constituents and as privileged, extracting coal, including moun- top removal coal mining. fter hearing that Fox was fired. The funny thing is gathering of 12,000 students educated Washington University taintop removal or the dangers of If you feel strongly about the is planning a new that the author mentions how he dedicated to promoting environ- students, it is our responsibility sequestering carbon underground. reputation of our university and reality series based on downloaded a pirated version of mental legislation—completely to make sure we are unabashedly The term “clean coal” is an the future of its integrity, support employees who choose the movie, which was produced transformed my perspective on pressing the government to repre- unscientifi c advertising technique the Truth Alliance by joining at which A coworker gets fired from by 20th Century Fox. In other politics and infl uencing author- sent our interests. employed by coal companies to washucoal.wordpress.com. Show work, I embraced the downfall of words, a Fox employee illegally ity. Standing in the offi ces of Sen. From the national level to the promote coal as an artifi cially the administration that Wash. U. the media giant. Seriously, what downloaded a Fox-produced Claire McCaskill and Rep. Russ state, to the local, to Wash. U., green resource: In reality, coal is a cares about this issue. Joining is Fox thinking? Lately, Rupert movie and wrote a review about Carnahan, I noticed that the staff students should not hesitate to dirty fossil fuel that can never be the Truth Alliance represents a Murdoch’s company has been that movie in a Fox newspaper. I kept commenting on their surprise challenge administrations in order accurately deemed clean for the fi rst step for students to stand up making some serious blunders guess he wanted to work some- at seeing young people in the to infl uence the status quo. When environment. to authorities and vocalize our that could cost the company where else. Through this entire halls of Congress. When I look at young people do not vocalize their Wash. U.’s adoption of the term passions. Actively defend your in- many viewers and a lot of money. hullabaloo, Fox gained even more our generation, I see empowered, opinions, authorities interpret it as “clean coal” gives our university a terests, question authority, demand Yet they continue doing whatever publicity for the “Wolverine” passionate students working hard apathy. bad reputation. The term is unsci- truth. they like, because they already movie and didn’t have to pay for for their beliefs, but it became Students should start by infl u- entifi c and represents coal compa- have a solid fan base. advertisements. It seems a little obvious in that moment that our encing the Wash. U. administra- nies’ manipulation of politics and Heather is a freshman in Arts & Sci- Last week, a columnist for voices are not always heard by tion. Although students are busy, the media. Instead of accepting ences. She can be reached by e-mail at Fox News in Los Angeles posted See SARVESH, page 5 authorities. Maybe, I thought, the it is important and worthwhile to Wash. U.’s use of this term, Green [email protected].

YOUR VOICE: LETTERS AND GUEST COLUMNS OUR VOICE: EDITORIAL BOARD OUR WEB POLICY

Student Life welcomes letters to the editor and op-ed submissions from Editorials are written by the Forum editors and refl ect the consensus of Once an article has been published on www.studlife.com, readers. the editorial board. The editorial board operates independently of the our Web site, it will remain there permanently. We do not newsroom. remove articles from the site, nor do we remove authors’ Letters to the Editor News: (314) 935-5995 names from articles already published on the Web, unless an One Brookings Drive #1039 Fax: (314) 935-5938 agreement was reached prior to July 1, 2005. Editor in Chief: Perry Stein Senior Sports Editor: Johann Qua St. Louis, MO 63130-4899 e-mail: [email protected] Associate Editor: Brian Krigsher Hiansen Why do we do this? Because Google and other search en- All submissions must include the writer’s name, class, address and phone Managing Editors: Josh Goldman, Senior Scene Editor: Paula Lauris gines cache our Web site on a regular basis. Our thought is number for verifi cation. Student Life reserves the right to edit all letters for Michelle Stein, Dennis Sweeney, Evan Senior Cadenza Editor: Stephanie style, length, libel considerations and grammar. Letters should be no longer this: once an article has been published online, it’s too late to than 350 words in length. Readers may also submit longer articles of up to Wiskup Spera take back. It is irrevocably part of the public sphere. As such, 750 words as guest columns. Student Life reserves the right to print any Design Chief: Brittany Meyer Senior Forum Editor: Kate Gaertner removing an article from our site would serve no purpose. submission as a letter or guest column. Copy Chief: Puneet Kollipara Forum Editors: Charlie Bohlen, Aditya Senior Photo Editor: Matt Mitgang Sarvesh, Eve Samborn, AJ Sundar FRIDAY | APRIL 10, 2009 Forum Editor / Kate Gaertner / [email protected] STUDENT LIFE | FORUM 5 Is staying in school cool? Ignorance: Just ask Tyler Hansbrough Organic’s

Brian Price you with something that neither basketball there. But Hansbrough wanted that is, nor is intended to be, a well- Three years later, after his championship, and he wanted it biggest hurdle Staff Columnist kept secret: Some people do not junior season ended with a disap- enough to sacrifice a lot of money go to college for an academic pointing Final Four loss, Hans- and return to school. Not long t’s no secret that University experience. As shocking as this brough was faced with the choice after he made his announcement, Alex Christensen of the primary crop—synthetic of North Carolina men’s may sound to the studious Wash. of whether to take NBA millions Lawson and Ellington decided Staff Columnist fertilizers could be eliminated, basketball player Tyler U. student, let me reiterate that or return for a final season at to follow suit. The Tar Heels im- according to the University of Hansbrough is one of the in fact someone who is among Carolina. He wasn’t projected as mediately became the favorite to Michigan Department of Ecology Imost polarizing athletes in his the best basketball players in the one of the top picks in the draft, win. They routed all their oppo- get it: A lot of people who and Evolutionary Biology. But sport. As someone who counts country, someone with a le- but as the reigning national player nents in the NCAA Tournament, write to Student Life don’t the question is still there—can himself among the large group of gitimate shot at guaranteed NBA of the year, Hansbrough was sure closing out Hansbrough’s career like organic. But that doesn’t organics provide enough food for Hansbrough-haters, it was rather millions, is not in all likelihood to be drafted in the second round, with that long-awaited national mean that they are right. the world? shocking that I found myself interested in hearing their name if not somewhere in the first. He championship. In I the latest episode, AJ Sundar The answer is yes. Research- feeling happy as the final seconds called and going up on stage to had the option of sitting on the The next move for Tyler uses a lot of hand-waving and ers at the University of Michigan ticked away in North Carolina’s shake a man’s hand in June— bench for an NBA team, making Hansbrough, of course, remains unsubstantiated numbers to show and the FAO have concluded that national championship game vic- unless that man is NBA Commis- millions and living the glamorous to be seen. While Lawson and that the use of organic foods is organic agriculture is the best way tory over Michigan State. That’s sioner David Stern and the stage lifestyle associated with today’s Ellington are juniors, and could “morally callous” because it will to feed the world’s hungry and right—as I watched Hansbrough is Madison Square Garden. professional athletes—or he could therefore put off the draft for cause a billion people to starve. provide for the growing world walk off the court for the final Even though a recently-im- come back for another year of one more year if they choose, for That angers me for two reasons. population. The author of Michi- time as a Tar Heel and embrace plemented rule requires play- the academic and social responsi- Hansbrough, this is it. He has First, when we discuss global gan’s study, Catherine Badgley, his coach, Roy Williams, and the ers to wait at least a year after bilities that come with collegiate worn a North Carolina uniform hunger, we need to do so with writes, “[The] model estimates other seniors for whom this was graduating high school before sports. Doing so would be a for the final time, and now all more productive reasoning than indicate that organic methods a culmination of four years of entering the NBA draft, athletes risk—injury, poor performance or that’s left is to listen on June emotional appeals, and second, could produce enough food on a blood, sweat and tears, a smile still choose their college based on both could severely hurt his place 25th for David Stern to call (or science disagrees with Sundar. global per capita basis to sustain actually crossed my face. It’s not its prestige and ability to launch in the draft. Plus, when Hans- not call) his name. What happens It’s easy to write organic off the current human population, that I suddenly liked Hansbrough them to stardom. Since UNC had brough made his decision, star from then on remains to be seen, as an elitist liberal movement and potentially an even larger himself, but I liked the decision won multiple national champi- teammates Ty Lawson and Wayne but one thing was certain as Han- confined to university types and population, without increasing he made last year to give up mil- onships (including one the year Ellington were still mulling over sbrough hoisted the championship the pastoral murals at Whole the agricultural land base” (see lions of dollars. It sounds crazy, before Hansbrough’s freshman whether they’d go pro. Therefore, trophy Monday night. Foods. It’s easy to say that “Renewable Agriculture and Food I know, but hopefully by the time season) and produced such NBA no one could have realistically It’s cool to stay in school. agricultural technology is the Systems”). The study shows that I’m done you’ll at least be able to talents as Michael Jordan and blamed Hansbrough for leaving lifeline for a billion. It makes it if developed countries switched understand my rationale, even if Vince Carter, it was no surprise after three stellar years in which Brian is a sophomore in Arts & Sci- easier to say these things when to organic agriculture, their yields you don’t agree with it. that the highly-ranked Hans- the only thing that had eluded him ences. He can be reached via e-mail at Monsanto and Cargill pour money would be very nearly the same. Let me begin by enlightening brough committed to play college was a national championship. [email protected]. into pseudo-research at land-grant The extraordinary part of the universities and marketing to the study is that in developing coun- USDA (remind you of Peabody tries (where the concentrations Coal and Wash. U.?). In actuality, of poverty are highest), organic however, organic agriculture uses agriculture would increase yields INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS with Caleb Posner evolutionary advantages to create by 60-400 percent. Overall, the a successful and less input-inten- world’s foodstuffs are estimated sive system. to be 30 percent greater than Nature’s fertilizers are ma- today if organic farming were the nure and compost, not synthetic standard. Organic agriculture not fertilizer refined from fossil only saves millions of lives, as fuels. These natural fertilizers Sundar claims genetically modi- are cheaper and easier to find in fied foods do, but it also feeds the the developing world. Organic rest of humanity. Beyond that, it agriculture takes full advantage of would cost less for farmers. Free Fujimori these cheap and common inputs. Once you have learned the The UN’s Food and Agriculture facts, it is clear that organic ag- Organization (FAO) has con- riculture is the way of the future. Caleb Posner began a ruthless campaign of rose to the dual challenge with In essence, Fujimori saved cluded that, “sustainable intensi- It provides better quality food in Staff Columnist guerilla warfare, which by 1992 remarkable ease. He suppressed Peru from itself. He turned around fication of crops through organic greater quantities, with fewer ex- had resulted in more than 20,000 the Shining Path terrorist organi- one of the world’s most volatile agriculture can provide higher pensive inputs. The ethical choice deaths. In 1989 alone, the Shining zation and restored governmental economies and reintegrated it in yields with a minimum depen- is organic. his past Tuesday, Alberto Path murdered 100 politicians authority to all of Peru. It is only the international order, thereby dence on external inputs.” By Fujimori, the 70-year- as part of a campaign to prevent in the years since he left office building a foundation for gradual using the tried-and-true method of Alex is a sophomore in Arts & Sci- old former President voting throughout Peru, because and power was turned over to improvement in the quality of life cover crops—planting a second- ences. He can be reached via e-mail at of Peru, was convicted they believed that voting enforced less competent politicians that the for his citizens. He also brought ary crop in between planting [email protected]. of T murder by a panel of three a capitalist system that they found splinter factions of the Shining an end to the bloody violence and judges just outside of Lima and despicable. Path organization have begun to instability that threatened the so- sentenced to a 25-year prison But the problems that Presi- function once again. Still, their re- cial order and basic human rights sentence. He was convicted not dent Fujimori inherited did not surgence has been greatly limited of his people. because he pulled a trigger but end with the security threat posed in scale thanks to the measures It is possible that, during his because during his decade in by the communist insurgency. In taken by Fujimori. attempts to suppress the insur- power, it is alleged that he ordered his term as president, predeces- Moreover, the way Fujimori gency and revive the economy, SARVESH from page 4 a branch of Army Intelligence sor Alan García drove businesses salvaged Peru’s economy is Fujimori inadvertently violated to perform strategic executions. out of Peru through a series of praiseworthy at the least. He cut the law. But in light of the ques- The degree to which he deserved anti-market actions, including his price controls and government tionable nature of the accusations suspicious that this would happen why Kutner killed himself. And conviction remains questionable, efforts toward the nationalization subsidies, opened the country brought against him, and the when the movie is to be released at the end of the episode, they but aside from that, it is impera- of private banks in 1987. By the up to investments and simpli- positive legacy of his rule, his in three weeks. And what were insult our intelligence by putting tive that we consider the situation time he left office, there had been fied taxation and tariff laws. imprisonment is inappropriate. the editors doing? Didn’t the a statement about getting help for in Peru when Fujimori came to 2.2 million percent national infla- His willingness to make drastic Rather, pending proper alteration other Fox employees even notice mental illness and suicide. I think power, as compared to the shape tion, a decline in wages to a three- marketing reforms secured IMF to the term limit laws, Fujimori what he was writing about? Too that Fox got pissed because one he left it in. decade low, and a 20 percent loss loan guarantees, which he put to should be free to run for office much coincidence for my liking. of their characters on a leading Peru first returned to demo- of GDP. In addition to draining good use. In 1994—just four years once more, as he has expressed an Fox is playing us, my friends, and show left to work for the Obama cratic elections in 1980, after a the national reserves, Garcia left after he took office—Peru was interest in doing so. This is espe- they’ve done it at the right time. administration. Whatever. If the dozen years of military dictator- Peru owing more than $14 billion posting a 13 percent growth rate, cially reasonable, given the fact For those of you who go to ratings for “House” go down, ask ship. At this time, the student- to foreign nations. the highest in the world. Total that his incompetent predecessor group therapy for “House” ad- Mr. Murdoch why the executive driven, communist Maoist Undoubtedly, then, Fujimori GDP growth during Fujimori’s who caused so much more damage diction, my condolences are with producers couldn’t come up with Shining Path group was offered was burdened with the task of time in office was an impressive is once again serving as president. you (warning: major plot spoiler a better way of having a character the opportunity to participate addressing two epic problems 44.6 percent, and his administra- Caleb is a sophomore in Arts & Sci- if you didn’t watch “House” leave. and present their platform to that, on their own, would have tion built up a $10 billion foreign ences. He can be reached via e-mail at this week). Fox has got to be Fox used to be better than the voting public. Instead, they overwhelmed lesser men. Yet he currency reserve. [email protected]. kidding—they killed Kutner be- this, but for some reason, they cause Kal Penn accepted a major seem to be going down the wrong White House position under the path. If they seriously continue Obama administration. However, with the reality series on firing I blame Obama for this as well. people from their jobs, I hope the Couldn’t Obama wait to pick American public rises up to fight his candidate at the end of the Fox. During times of extreme In response to“Won’t you and in exchange for my kids Saturday at 9 a.m. playing season, so Kutner wouldn’t ran- economic downturn and unem- stop being my neighbor?” being up nights listening to ball or people parking in front domly succumb to suicide? I was ployment, it is intolerant and from the April 8 edition of your drunken parties or you of my house and leaving their pissed; Kutner was a great char- insensitive for Fox to exploit bad your walking down the street at 3 car for weeks at a time. GO acter and seemed like the only conditions for their profits. Student Life. a.m. talking loudly or your ahead Katie—make the fi rst one in House’s posse that had the Unfortunately, they still THOUGHTS 60 yards of trash when you move— invite the guy over stones to stand up to House. In a produce some good shows and Hey Katie, Have you invited move in and out—do we get a for tea or cookies—introduce recent interview with the execu- movies, which forces me to keep him over for tea? Have YOU polite “hello” in the morning yourself to the neighbors’ tive producers of “House,” they watching. They’ve caught me atat www.studlife.comwwwstudlife tried to meet your other NON- or a friendly wave as you get kids—You may fi nd your mention that they felt suicide— hook, line and sinker. STUDENT neighbors? Doubt- in your car? Nope. What I do lousy neighbor is a nice guy... Kutner shooting himself in the ful... I live near one of the big get is curse words yelled at “Annie” head—was the best way to end student apartment buildings my kids being too loud on a it. What’s even worse is that they Aditya is a sophomore in Arts & Sci- make House investigate Kutner’s ences. He can be reached by e-mail at death because he just has to know afl [email protected].

KEVIN WOLF PANGAEA 6 STUDENT LIFE | SPORTS Sports Editor / Johann Qua Hiansen / [email protected] FRIDAY | APRIL 10, 2009

WOMEN’SSPORTS LACROSSE Sports brief Women’s lax pounces on Principia Softball mauls Illinois College Johann Qua Hiansen said. “I knew we were better or at least Freshman Olivia Cook pitched her fi rst collegiate no-hitter as Senior Sports Editor equal. I knew we had a chance.” the Bears strung together 14 hits and eight runs. Cook nearly had Wash. U. took a timeout with 10:33 a perfect game but gave up a walk in the fi fth and fi nal inning. to go in the game. Reardon sent a pass The Bears won 6-1 in the nightcap on Wednesday. More details Washington University’s club wom- over the net to junior Emily Gordon, in Monday’s paper. (Johann Qua Hiansen) en’s lacrosse team needed every second who scored on the fi rst play after the to beat the Principia College Panthers break. Tied at seven, Principia’s Jaque- 9-8 on Saturday at Wash. U.’s South line Pappas gave the Panthers a one- Campus. goal advantage. With under a minute to go and the Reardon came up strong once more. score tied at eight, a Principia defender With Principia defenders swarming was called for a violation inside the around the net, Reardon broke through WUnumberology circle. Play was stopped and Wash. U. and made a diving shot to knot the game sophomore Stephanie Dusek had the at eight with 4:55 to go. The ball hurled perfect scoring opportunity from the left into the bottom left of the net while Hits against freshman Olivia side. With no defenders in front of their Reardon landed on the dirt by the right Cook in an April 8 softball game goalie, it was a one-on-one match up. side. “[Reardon] defi nitely has an eye versus Illinois College Dusek took two steps with her eyes dart- for the game,” Dusek said. 0 ing left and her stick fi ring to the right. Dusek’s game-winning goal The ploy worked, and the ball fl ew into was her team-leading fourth of the The national ranking of the the net. “I usually try to fake them out game. Reardon and Pollokoff each women’s outdoor track & fi eld with my eyes,” Dusek, a co-captain, had two goals and two assists. Gor- team said. “I’ll be like I’m going to go in that don rounded out the scorers with one. 1 corner, and I make it like I’m going to The Bears fell to Arkansas 6-8 on Sat- go...then I go to the opposite corner.” urday afternoon before rebounding in Wash. U.’s Director’s Cup ranking Earlier in the match, the situation their afternoon victory against Principia. and the ranking of the men’s was completely different. The Bears had Reardon, Pollokoff and Dusek had two outdoor track & fi eld team a 5-2 lead at halftime, but the Panthers goals each in the loss. 4 came out fi ring, scoring a goal on their Wash. U. soundly defeated Missouri fi rst possession. The Red and Green re- 13-4 on Sunday afternoon as seven sponded with a goal off a breakaway by Bears scored. Reardon led with four Wins in a row for the men’s junior Alexa Pollokoff. But that’s when goals while Dusek, Pollokoff and Gor- tennis team Principia unleashed their fi repower, don had two goals each. Sophomores 9 shooting four unanswered goals. “As Laura Pridmore and Rebecca Shenk, they just kept scoring, it’s just going along with freshman Sonia Singh, all Hits by the softball team in a through my head, ‘Please don’t lose this had a goal as the Bears mauled the Ti- doubleheader against Illinois game by one goal,’” said sophomore gers. A Tuesday game against Kansas Emily Rosenzweig, a co-captain. “It’s was cancelled. 26 College on April 8 frustrating especially because one goal The Red and Green fi nish the year doesn’t refl ect...the game is so even.” with a 5-4-1 season record and 2-1-1 Varsity athletes named to the JOHANN QUA HIANSEN | STUDENT LIFE Being down by one, when the Bears divisional record. Though Wash. U. dominated in the fi rst half, was tough for qualifi ed for playoffs, the team will not Spring UAA All-Academic Team Junior Erica Johnston challenges a Principia attacker in an April 4 game. the team. “It was really frustrating being compete due to confl icts with ThurtenE 78 Washington University women’s lacrosse won 8-7. in that position,” senior Rachel Reardon weekend, according to Reardon. STUDENT LIFE presents a guide to places of worship in the WU community Club profi le: women’s Religious Directory lacrosse Johann Qua Hiansen The determined attitude was evi- Senior Sports Editor dent at Principia’s game when several Bears who had been injured earlier in the day played on. “[Sophomore] Laura Washington University club la- Pridmore didn’t even know if she could crosse brings together friends and tal- play, [sophomore] Nicole Salzman hurt ented players. her foot and came to the second game, Seniors Rachel Reardon and Emma and [sophomore] Amanda Ackerman Polgar were lax teammates throughout got hit in the nose,” Rosenzweig said. high school. Now, despite very differ- “It just encourages me.” ent class schedules, they’re teammates Dusek is the leading scorer of the on the club women’s lacrosse squad. South Division in the Central Wom- When playing games against tough en’s Plains Lacrosse League with opponents, they seamlessly work to- 26 goals this season. In high school, gether on the fi eld. “That’s the cool Dusek played on the U18 national thing about playing with the same team. The Wash. U. team competes people for a while…you just know against club squads from the Midwest their presence on the fi eld and know including Arkansas, Kansas, Okla- where they’re going to be,” said sopho- homa State, and St. Louis University. more Stephanie Dusek, a co-captain. Rosenzweig is a self-proclaimed la- The club meets on Monday, Wednesday crosse convert who used to play soccer and Saturday to practice at the South in high school. “We’re very connected. Campus fi eld across from Schnucks. The group of girls right now is very Saturday practices are from one to three cohesive,” Rosenzweig said. “It’s a re- in the afternoon while the other practic- ally good balance of getting in shape, es are from six to eight in the evening. playing a game, being part of a league, Games are generally played on week- having championships, having nation- ends. als and still having time to do something LIBERATION “It’s really nice having a special else.” Christian Church fi eld for club sports that we can reserve Players on the team emphasized that for the full day,” said sophomore Emily it’s easy for college students, especially 2nd and 4th Sundays Rosenzweig, the other co-captain. those with fi eld experience, to pick up Players meet at Bear’s Den before the sport. “It’s just like any fi eld sport Come Feel the Warmth! 12:00 noon Regional Arts Commission (RAC) making the mile-long jog to the practice except with a stick...it’s throwing and Sunday Worship 10:30am fi eld. According to Reardon, the team catching,” Rosensweig said. “If you can 6128 Delmar used to have a small corner of the IM master throwing and catching, then the Wherever you are on life’s journey, Field to practice; this marks the fi rst rest of it’s learning from experience.” you are welcome here! in the Loop year for lacrosse on South Campus. The friendships formed on the team, 314-862-2304 6501 Wydown - 314.721.5060 Many of the girls on the team are in- both on the fi eld and in social events, Right next to the South 40! volved in sororities, philanthropic keep players coming back. Their close www.firstcongregational.org www.liberationcc.org groups and a multitude of other student connections show up on the fi eld. “I organizations. love when you just have really beauti- INSPIRING ETHICAL LIVING “It’s the perfect balance,” Reardon ful transitions down the fi eld, when it Catholic Student Center said. The squad, which qualifi es for goes from stick to stick to stick,” Dusek The Ethical Society is a community of We’re here for YOU! playoffs, is aided on a regular basis by said. “It’ll get down the fi eld in sub eight people united in the belief that an ethical the large number of East Coast mem- seconds instead of someone running it life creates a more just, loving and Masses at the CSC: bers who grew up playing lacrosse in down and having someone on them sustainable world for all. Sundays: 11am & 9pm high school. “A lot of people don’t know all the time. When you get that fl uidity Join us on Sunday mornings for the 9:45 the rules,” Polgar said. “That’s why we down the fi eld, it’s beautiful.” Forum and 11:00 Platform Address. Masses and Free Soup Meal: tend to have an advantage. [East Coast Students interested in women’s la- Children's Sunday School meets 10am-noon Tuesdays at 5:15 pm Fridays at 12:05 pm lacrosse] is more aggressive and more crosse should contact the team captains. Ethical Society of St. Louis fi nessed.” “Try out…come and play,” Dusek said. www.washucsc.org (1/4 mile west of the Galleria) 9001 Clayton Rd. 6352 Forsyth · 935-9191 (314) 991-0955 Stop by any time to study, relax or pray! Hi-Pointe Auto Service & Wash www.ethicalstl.org “Serving our community honestly for over 60 years.” Foreign and Domestic UNION LUTHERAN CAMPUS MINISTRY Auto Repair Your Ad Here Your Ad Here Free Shuttle to Campus Looking for a AVENUE Advertise your place of Advertise your place of 314-647-5005 place to get CHRISTIAN Candlelight Worship worship for $18 per week. Relax. Reflect. Renew. worship for $18 per week. Mon-Fri 7:30a - 6:00p involved? Call Alan for Appointment CHURCH Sundays at Contact us to find out how! 8:15 pm Contact us to find out how! 981 S. Skinker at Clayton Rd. DISCIPLES OF CHRIST Preceded by a free meal at 7:30! 314-935-6713 314-935-6713 Under the big Amoco sign! study – Sunday worship @ 10:45 – lunch [email protected] www.lcmstl.org [email protected] COUPON for WU Students & Faculty 733 Union Blvd. (63108) in the CWE Try our ultimate Tandem Rite call 314.361.8844 for info. or rides 7019 Forsyth (at Big Bend) regular price $11 $ Touch CAR WASH with “rainx” 6 STUDENT LIFE www.union-avenue.org 863.8140 STUDENT LIFE Offer expires 4/30/09 FRIDAY | APRIL 10, 2009 Cadenza Editor / Stephanie Spera / [email protected] Z STUDENT LIFE | CADENZA 7 CADENTELEVISION REVIEWS A Deadliest warrior Whatever Steve Hardy materializes as a hypothetical But the truly disappointing Cadenza Reporter match between an Apache warrior aspect of the show is that the and a Roman gladiator. An army fi ghters never actually battle. combat instructor (named Snake After 55 minutes of watching the happened to...? “Deadliest Warrior” is what Blocker!) and a champion knife experts crack some model skulls happens when barstool arguments fi ghter represent the Apaches, while with tomahawks and exhibit the get out of hand. The guys at Spike Team Gladiator is comprised of deadly prowess of a gladiator with While patiently waiting for Miley Cyrus to fade into obscurity, we at Cadenza are determined to fi nd out which a weapons historian and mixed a trident and net, the climax is a often find ourselves wondering what other child stars are now doing with their historical bad boys kicked the most martial artist champion Chuck “The staggeringly dull computer simula- lives. So, every week, we are going to both appease ourselves and bring you, the butt and took the most names. Iceman” Liddell. But the weapons tion, which is never explained and reader, this topical, life-changing information. Throw a ninja and a knight in a demonstrations quickly dissolve merely crunches some arbitrary ring and let ’em duke it out; what into alarmingly serious taunts that numbers invented by the core panel Stephanie Spera Haley has appeared in the he, Cedric the Entertainer and could go wrong? become awkward to watch. Think of a doctor, biomedical engineer Senior Cadenza Editor critically-acclaimed films “For- John Liguizamo revived the Well, a lot, apparently. “Mythbusters” with no sense of and computer programmer—which rest Gump,” “Pay It Forward” musical “American Buffalo” on With all the gratuitous slow- irony. raises the question: Why does a and “The Sixth Sense.” With Broadway, but it closed within motion tomahawk throwing, The weapon demonstrations computer programmer get a vote, First up on the list: Mr. the help of M. Night Shya- a week. spurting of synthetic blood and themselves are hit and miss. Most anyway? Haley Joel Osment, who today malan, he coined one of the It seems he has passed the pervasive, testosterone-fueled viewers, I’m assuming, are familiar The results are then performed celebrates his 21st birthday. most renowned lines in movie torch, as his little sister, Emily, sense of one-upmanship, this with the basic precept of a bow by reenactors, meaning that watch- I wonder, Haley, what your history: “I see dead people.” stars as Miley Cyrus’ charac- show was defi nitely produced with and arrow and don’t need to be ing The History Channel for about 15-year-old, Oscar-nominated Osment’s role as Cole Sear in ter’s best friend, Lily, in that the “300” crowd in mind, right subjected to (several) slow-motion six minutes would give you a better self looked forward to on your “Sense” even earned him an soul-sucking phenomenon of a down to the grisly-voiced com- shots of an Apache doing target chance of seeing some brutal, 21st birthday. You probably Academy Award nomination television show/movie/3-D con- mentator, a knock-off of the “300” shooting. historical (scripted) violence. If did not imagine that you would for Best Supporting Actor at cert experience known as “Han- narrator. Unfortunately, the whole Others were pretty fun though, you’re interested, the computer have to pledge to yourself (and the age of 10. He then went nah Montana.” (Why can we act becomes childish, essentially especially watching Liddell pum- thinks an Apache brave would beat your court-mandated Alcohol- on to star as a child robot who not escape you, Miley?!) Even devolving into a name-calling “my- mel a side of beef with “scissors,” a gladiator, presumably because in ics Anonymous group) that was programmed to love—but if Haley makes it into the spot- rifl e-is-bigger-than-your-scimitar” essentially a covered gauntlet with the reenactment, only the Apache you would not drink until this not to blink—in Spielberg’s light once again, nothing will match. a crescent blade on top. In three retains the ability to move laterally day because of an alcohol- and “A.I.” We all thought he was top his brave, heart-wrenching In the fi rst episode, this jabs, he literally cuts a cow in half. while the gladiator voluntarily marijuana-related accident be- going to stick around. So what performance on “Walker, Texas removes his armor and is momen- tween you and a brick mailbox. is Haley up to these days? He Ranger” as a child struggling tarily confounded by a tree. Upon Or that the car you would be now attends the Tisch School of with AIDS. To see the hilarious victory, the wildly ululating brave driving, if this accident were to the Arts at New York Univer- clip, check out: http://www.my fulfi lls xenophobic renderings of occur, would be a 10-year-old sity and occasionally lends his partypost.com/watchvideo/260/ Native Americans by drinking the Saturn station wagon. vocal talents to video game Conan_OBrien-_Walker_Tex blood of the defeated. During his young career, characters. Last November, as_Ranger. If you love non-self-aware comedy or are a 12-year-old boy, stay tuned for upcoming battles such as Yakuza vs. Mafi a, Maori vs. Shaolin Monks, William Wallace then now vs. Shaka Zulu, Ninja vs. Spartan and Taliban vs. IRA. “Deadliest Warrior” airs Tues- days at 9 p.m. on Spike.

COURTESY OF SPIKE TV ★★✩✩✩ Southland

Hannah Schwartz nal material and the flat character and the toll the beat takes on TV Editor she’s given. Additionally, attempt- the lives of cops. Nonetheless, MCT CAMPUS MCT CAMPUS ing to solve a random case of the gritty documentary feel is gang violence is a whole slew of not enough to set it apart from John Wells just ended his detectives who, frankly, all look the pack, especially since it is 15-year run producing “ER” exactly the same. Names might compounded with the bad acting last week, and now he’s moved be given, but they’re lost because and writing, constantly shifting on to a new NBC show with a none of the characters show any story lines and numerous charac- much more original premise: a sign of individual personality. The ters. The end of the premiere is cop drama. As the opening of show cuts between the three story a stereotypical montage of each “Southland” reveals, only 9,800 lines so abruptly and often that character returning home and police officers patrol the city it’s hard to follow any of them. ruminating about the tough day, of Los Angeles, with an area of Most of “Southland” is filmed all set to an indie acoustic song, 500 square miles and 4 million in a gritty, documentary-style which is not only an overused people. Perhaps this is why the way that’s jumpy and disorient- convention, but also in direct op- premiere is so jam-packed with ing. This method is definitely position to the documentary style no fewer than two shootings, a effective in heightening suspense that pervades the show. “South- kidnapping, gang violence and a and realism in the high-action land” wants to do everything at rotting corpse partially eaten by scenes when the cops make a bust once and ultimately accomplishes dogs. This wouldn’t be too much or when a crime is occurring. The nothing. to handle in an hour-long episode makers even go so far as to bleep “Southland” airs Thursdays at if there weren’t so many different out profanities, adding to the fa- 9 p.m. on NBC. story lines and characters intro- çade of realism that pervades the duced at once. show. But in the calmer moments, There’s Ben Sherman (Benja- this style does nothing to mask min McKenzie of “The O.C.”), the horrendous writing and acting. ★★✩✩✩ a rich-kid rookie cop out for a Case in point: Detective Sammy’s training day with veteran John (Shawn Hatosy) argument with Cooper (Michael Cudlitz). Cooper his girlfriend actually made me quickly teaches Sherman that laugh out loud—unintentionally, the rules learned in the academy of course. She’s sitting at home, don’t apply on the gritty streets mascara running down her face, of Los Angeles. Their dynamic wondering why they don’t make is presumably the main focus of love anymore. He spits out in a the show, and it works. McKen- half whisper, half shout that it’s zie is once again largely silent, “because we don’t have that much brooding and reflective—a nice in common!” to which she retorts, contrast to Cudlitz’s almost inces- “Oh, so who do you have so much sant instruction. in common with? All those badge Elsewhere, Detective Lydia bunnies lining up to f--- you?” Adams (Regina King) attempts Even the most convincing actors to balance her rough home life wouldn’t be able to compensate caring for her elderly mother with for writing like that. her harrowing work. King does “Southland” attempts to take a the best she can with the unorigi- hard, realistic look at the LAPD COURTESY OF NBC

Sudoku By The Mepham Group

Level: 1 2 3 4 Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. Solution to Wednesday’s puzzle

© 2009 The Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved. 4/10/09 8 STUDENT LIFE | SCENESCENEScene Editor / Paula Lauris / [email protected] FRIDAY | APRIL 10, 2009

Relationships with expiration dates

Sara Remedios who went into a just-before-summer Romance Columnist relationship a few years back and convinced herself that there was an underlying friendship. She was Fairy To date or not to date—that absolutely heartbroken when it is the question. As the end of the fell apart midway through July. I semester draws nearer and the pros- suspect the boy in question was not pect of summer (and graduation!) as deeply or intimately invested. He grows bigger and bigger in the probably thought himself part of a minds of undergraduate students, fun fl ing, but she’d never thought tales the idea of beginning a new rela- to ask. tionship becomes increasingly more On the other hand, if there is awkward. friendship there, or at least the For underclassmen: Is it worth possibility of friendship there, then it to start something now that is I suggest a quick cost-benefi t analy- Wash. U.-style SCOTT FABRICANT | STUDENT LIFE unlikely to be strong enough come sis. Would it make more sense to May to withstand nearly four focus on becoming better friends for Scott Fabricant thing I’ll only be able to do in college member in the improv group Suspi- one pointed their fi nger-laser and with months apart? Might I, by starting now, keep in touch over the summer Scene Reporter and nowhere else.” cious of Whistlers, had to throw down a loud “pew-pew” sound, fi red. something now that probably won’t without romantic expectations and To make a very long story short, a freestyle verse. “When it fi rst started I really had last through the summer, be burning just see where it goes in the fall? the background of the adventure went “Rick is aware that freestyle rap- no idea what was going on,” fresh- a bridge that I’d have better luck Are you the kind of person who It ended in Brookings Quad on the something like this: Washingtonville ping is probably my biggest fear, as man Jamie Cummings said. “I got pursuing in the fall? could do that and have no romantic rainy last Saturday night of March. Universityshire was the keeper of the he has been trying to convince me to an e-mail from a friend saying that For seniors: Is it worth dating expectations, or are you the jealous Over 50 students, at that moment Meaning of Life, which was stolen by freestyle with him for the better part there would be a fi nger-laser battle on and fl irting with the possibility of type who would have unspoken acting as Netherworld Agents, sur- nihilistic Netherworld Agents, com- of four years,” Castanon said. “I think the quad late that night. I didn’t have a relationship when we’re both hopes anyway and might as well be rounded fi ve “adventurers” and their prised of volunteers and led by junior he got some joy out of forcing me anything else to do that night, and it graduating, moving away and upfront about them? comrades. Someone pointed their Jesse Markowitz and freshman Sarah into it.” sounded intriguing. I like random, moving on from the undergraduate Alternatively, are you good fi nger-laser and a frenzy of mock Wagener, who would return it if the The rap battle involved recruit- goofy activities, and this defi nitely existence into the great unknown? enough friends and do you know fi ring began. fi ve chosen adventurers—the auction ing as many students as possible to qualifi ed.” Is it worth sacrifi cing what little one another well enough that you It started in November: KWUR winners—completed fi ve tasks. The play the role of Netherworld Agents. “This type of thing is what makes time I have left to spend with those could do the dating thing now and had an unusual fundraiser, auction- adventurers were assisted by the King, Dressed in all black with lightning college such a unique experience,” friends who have been with me the handle the transition to summer and ing off several of their DJs to design played by junior David Rheinstrom, bolts drawn on their cheeks and goofy Cummings added. “Everyone should past four years for the possibility back as well as a couple that’s been an adventure catered to the winner’s his Page, played by freshman Joanna hats placed on their heads, participants be able to run around a public place in of a romance that is unlikely to be together since, say, last November? interests. Five seniors, good friends, McNurlen, the boorish wizard Whor- were instructed on who to cheer for, the middle of the night yelling ‘pew! anything except short lived? Do you both have a clear sense that pooled their money for the winning lock, played by junior John Ganiard when to cheer for them and just how pew! pew!’ at least once in their lives.” These are real questions and real this is something you see happening bid of $100 on the “Metal Eclectica” and the messenger, Kensington Lex- loud to yell. After a few wild minutes of run- problems that every single student and something you’d like to have KWUR host, senior Rick Andrews. ington, played by Andrews himself. “I asked my friends, and told them ning, shooting and being shot at, all on campus will need to consider for begun sooner rather than later? “I’ve known Rick since I was “People’s commitment to their to tell their friends and tell their friends of the Netherworld Agents lay in the him or herself. There is no single For seniors, the same questions 15, and I have absolute faith in him wacky characters was great,” Ganiard to tell their friends,” Andrews said. rain-soaked quad defeated, while the answer; there is no golden rule. I apply, but on a broader scale. If the to make the most mundane things said. “People’s attitudes were great; “I didn’t advertise because I didn’t adventurers left victorious. Alone, can, however, provide you with attraction is purely physical, then into adventures you’ll tell your kids I can’t imagine what would get done want the adventurers to know how the adventurers opened and read the food for thought—a series of ques- a fl ing still might be a good idea, about,” said Laura Castanon, one of on campus if people approached extensive this really was.” Meaning of Life. No one besides tions to ask yourself and guidelines especially as a way to let off some the winning bidders. “I’m pretty sure everything in the carefree and excited Even with no advertising, a private the fi ve winning bidders and Rick to keep in mind when considering pre-graduation stress. However, we could have picked a ‘sit in Whis- way in which they approached the Facebook group with over 100 mem- Andrews, the author of the adventure, whether or not to pursue romance in bear in mind the need for balance: pers and do homework’ adventure and adventure.” bers by the fi nal day of the challenge knows what The Meaning of Life the last four weeks of school. As much as this may be your last it would have been fantastic.” After a fragmented letter, a kept volunteers up to date. Despite the says. Afterward, however, all adven- First of all, is it just physical, or opportunity to let go of steam with The winners decided on a “fairy treasure hunt and a small-scale battle bad weather, over half of the members turers were invited to a celebratory is there a possible friendship there? a college fl ing, it’s also your last op- tale/meaning-of-life adventure,” and united the adventurers with the main took time out of their Saturday night after-party. This is an important question to portunity to let off steam with your with only that to go on, Andrews scripted characters and set the plot in to take part in the adventure. “The entire thing was like nothing answer honestly and probably not college friends. By all means pursue proceeded to create a quest with more motion. Winning bidders were treated “This stuff needs to happen on col- I’ve experienced ever before,” said the for the reason that you might think. the romance, but keep it balanced— than 40 named characters as well to a challenge suited to their own real- lege campuses,” Ganiard said. “We’re vanquished Markowitz. “I can only For underclassmen in particular, if don’t dive in too far too fast, and as individual scripts and sched- life skills. pretty good at feigning adulthood but hope that there are more people in the the romance you’re toying with is don’t lose track of your priorities. ules, which included Trash Trolls, Winner Michael McEvilly had to a lot of the stress we put on ourselves world who would invest such a large predominately physical, I say go for If there is friendship underneath, Seven-Headed Beasts and air guitar use poetry to woo two princesses off is artifi cial, and the catharsis of the amount of time in creating something it! If you don’t see this working out are you going to be in the same showdowns, as well as one large of the Hitzeman balconies; one could weekend can often be more detrimen- so out of the ordinary and awesome.” down the line regardless of what geographic location come June or fi nger-laser battle on the quad. only see beauty while the other only tal than anything. Why not do a crazy Such is the story of how one happens over the summer, what’s September? Is this something you “Not that I don’t have a lot of stuff sadness. Katie Hoelzer had to defeat adventure?” student with a fun idea engaged many the risk? Have fun while you can, see working out, for which you going on, but why not?” Andrews a seven-headed trivia hydra known as After obtaining the Meaning of of his closest friends as well as strang- with the understanding that summer would be willing to compromise said. “It helped raised money for “The F’in Creature” by besting it in Life from the Trash Trolls—a group ers, for no better reason than “Why is summer and you’ll see what hap- future plans? Is it worth risking the KWUR, but it was something I was questions on German vocabulary. of fi ve students in trash cans wearing not?” Such is also the story of how a pens come fall. friendship? Will you regret not tak- into beyond that; I received the money Carli Miller received half of a about a week’s worth of hand-collect- group of visiting prospective students, A caveat: Be clear, and be on ing the risk? in November, it wasn’t like I had to music duet and needed to piece it ed trash—the adventurers, along with watching the battle from the sidelines, the same page. I have a good friend Good luck, and happy analyzing! take it this far. It seemed like a lot at together on the spot and perform with Lexington and Whorlock, returned to learned what college life could be. the end, but I planned it out over a the Singing Fairy. Peter Billings was the quad to give their reward to the “Seeing everyone enjoying them- couple months. It was fun planning it, given a mixtape and forced to battle King and his Page. Suddenly, over 50 selves, that’s why it was worth it,” doing things like choreographing an the Devil in an air guitar duel. And Netherworld Agents emerged from the Andrews said. “If that’s the reward, air guitar battle. It’s the kind of weird Laura Castanon, Andrews’ fellow cast shadows and surrounded them. Some- then that’s reward enough.”

Is that real or fake?

The Fatted Calf Ginika Agbim I felt—as if wearing my “Chanel” Scene Fashion Columnist sunglasses was my form of lying to 12 S. Bemiston Avenue; Clayton, MO 63105 the world. How could I? (314) 726-1141; fattedcalfburgers.com What happens, though, when Every year, tourists from across knockoffs aren’t so obvious? For the world visit markets in states like instance, Forever 21 “designs” a ★★★✩✩ California and New York and coun- cardigan similar to one that Marc tries like China and the Philippines in Jacobs released a few months earlier. search of one thing: designer knock- Or even when higher end brands like offs. In protest, these thrifty spenders Tory Burch jump on the Minnetonka Sophie Adelman to as “scoopable.” Let’s just say that a And that’s the other thing about the fl avor. The cheese didn’t melt onto argue that the sky-high prices design- trend to create very similar, but more Scene Reporter visit to the Fatted Calf will incur all of Fatted Calf—it’s been around since my burger like the Web site claimed ers charge for their signature bags expensive, suede fringe boots. these culinary quandaries and more. 1966. There is a system. If you don’t it would, but that might have been a or ultra-sleek high heels justify their I guess since I don’t study fashion The Fatted Calf is one of those believe me, look at their Web site, on good thing. Overall, the burger was purchases of replicas often made by as much as I would like to (thanks A word to the wise: If you’re think- restaurants that, from its faux Tudor which they clearly spend more time/ef- good, with a generous portion of juicy young children in sweatshops. Washington University!), I might not ing about visiting the Fatted Calf, you exterior, might not even merit a fort/wit than they do on the actual res- hamburger meat and a light, fl uffy While these shoppers have their always notice when one brand copies might want to consider your stance on second look. The outer walls are dark taurant. In essence, you enter through white bun (for all of those purists). I reasons, others argue that if you can’t another. I have defi nitely made efforts cheese scooped out with an ice-cream and slightly dingy and give way to the right door (this is greatly stressed), was a little miffed that I had to pay an afford the desired item, you shouldn’t to shop less at Forever 21, since the scooper. This is not how one might an interior that is dark and slightly line up, pick your toppings and then extra 75 cents for lettuce and tomato, waste the money on a fake replica; store is constantly criticized by Web usually think cheese should be served. dingy. In short, this place is not fancy- wait for the food to be delivered to but it was worth it. instead, you should save money to sites such as fashionista.com for Sure, I learned how to distinguish schmancy. There are mini silver beer your table. Apparently, this is diffi cult The specialty relishes, the Original invest in one quality piece. But how imitating real designers. ripe Brie at a young age, which might mugs hanging from the ceiling—I kid enough to merit a two-page instruction Picadilly and Buckingham toppings, long will it take to save enough? So you might be wondering how make me a cheese snob, but I was un- you not. But I didn’t come here for the manual online. must be tried. The fries, however, Personally, I don’t want to own to get amazing clothes without spend- der the strict impression that under no atmosphere, I came for cheap yummy If you’re having trouble trying to were a bit on the disappointing side products made in a sweatshop, but ing too much money or cheating condition should cheddar be referred burgers. identify what to order once you get especially after the Web site talked what’s a fashion-loving girl to do? I the system via designer knockoffs. to the counter, have no fear, because them up: not enough salt, too thick, a used to swear that I would never buy The only real solution is to focus there is really only one choice: the small portion and not cooked enough. anything fake. After all, designers on mid-range designers that create Calf Burger, a 1/3 pound burger served However, the onion rings were and their assistants invest months reasonably-priced pieces and to save atop a toasted bun. The Fatted Calf’s exceptional, with a light, crispy batter planning, sketching, editing and re- up funds for a crucial designer item; menu essentially consists of a paltry covering sweet, perfectly-sized onions. sketching designs, all to provide con- think of it as an investment that you’ll seven entrées. However, for all of my Top it off with homemade lemonade sumers like me with the perfect dress be able to wear for years to come. West Coast compatriots familiar with featuring just the right amount of tangy or accessory. How could I just ignore I have also come to the realization In-N-Out Burger, the small menu size kick, and you’ve got yourself a win- that effort and patronize someone that I can be content just admiring is by no means inhibitive and actually ning meal. with a giant fabric copy machine? someone’s chic bag or intricate foot- allows for endless possibilities and The bottom line? For a fi ve-dollar My fi rst experience in the fashion wear from afar; this doesn’t mean that variations. It’s surprisingly liberating burger, it might be OK to put up with a black market involved a $19.95 pair I have to have it. Someday, after all to have no choice. cheese of questionable consistency and of fake Chanel sunglasses (I was of my hard work at Wash. U., I will When my burgers fi nally arrived an ambience that feels like a set from young and desperate). Remorse fol- land the perfect job and have enough in all of their hot, fresh and juicy medieval times. This burger was good: lowed me all the way home: I ran to in my savings to afford some (but goodness topped with a perfectly not knock-your-socks-off good, but a my bathroom, turned on the hot water only some) of those same things that formed scoop of orange cheese, I had good, solid burger. So the next time and scrubbed the logo off. I couldn’t I now admire. Until then, I’ll just fl ip to test the cheese fi rst. I was pleasantly you’re thinking Steak n Shake, don’t even wear them for a day. through magazines and ignore tempt- surprised; it had a slightly thicker be so cliché. Go to the place where the Do you ever feel that people who ing knockoffs. MATT MITGANG | STUDENT LIFE consistency than whipped butter but burgers are cheap, fast and fresh: the buy fakes are morally inclined to was bursting with a Kraft-like cheddar Fatted Calf! lie or be dishonest? Well that’s how Stay stylish! The Fatted Calf in Clayton offers a solid hamburger at an affordable price.