7Ae Yournaf1 1,11
A SHEPHERDESS INTERNATIONAL RESOURCE FOR MINISTRY SPOUSES
Volume 16 Fourth Quarter 1999 Number 4
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Xusiny's 3 A Tribute to a Pastor's Wife ". . I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold 5 My Joy, My Love, you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10. My Wife Most of us are weary. We have taken care of everyone in our lives except ourselves. But in our tiredness there are two simple words—simple to say, 7 Putting the Joy Back simple to remember, yet sometimes rarely directed to us. The complexity of Into Christmas their worth to us is infinite. They are "Thank you!" As the pastor's wife, you do so much for so many people. Most of the time all we can expect to hear is a 9 An Unexpected Gift simple—"Thank you!" Our families, our co-workers, and especially our church members sometimes forget these simple words and take us for granted. 10 Reflections From But, did you know, precious lady, that your Heavenly Father appreciates you An Outgoing for all you do and all you are. You are fulfilling His purpose for your life President of everyday. You are being the royal daughter He created you to be. He anointed Shepherdess you for this special work and He appreciates you! He is upholding you with His right hand! Between the covers of this issue are several tributes to ministry wives. 11 Anonymous Tribute They are specific "Thank you's" but they are also directed to you, too. to a Minister's Wife Here in America we will be celebrating Thanksgiving soon. This is the special holiday we have set aside to specifically remember our blessings. And, 12 Creative Hugging on my long list of items for which I am thankful, you are listed. Pastors wives give more hours of volunteer service to the church than any other group and I 14 Mother of a just want to say, "THANK YOU!" Prodigal Daughter God bless each one of you.
17 The Mannequin Pastor's Wife
18 A Shepherdess In Action
19 An Inn For gEe 7011.172a1A SHEPHERDESS INTERNATIONAL Ministry to Clergy Spouses RESOURCE FOR MINISTRY SPOUSES iS a Division Coordinators: Christmas quarterly publication produced by ADRA—Pat Watts Shepherdess International, an entity of the Africa-Indian Ocean—Denise Ratsara General Conference of Seventh-day Eastern Africa—Angeline Musvosvi 22 Shepherdess Adventists Ministerial Association. Euro-Africa—Maeve Maurer International News Euro-Asia—Ludmilla Krushenitskaya & Office: 12501 Old Columbia Pike Barbara Huff Silver Spring, MD 20904-6600 Inter-American—Evelyn Omana Phone: (301) 680-6513 North American—Frances McClure Fax: (301) 680-6502 Northern Asia-Pacific—Mary H. T. Wong e-mail: [email protected] South American—Vasti S. Viana web page: South Pacific—Kay Winter Bible Credits: www.ministerialassociation.com/ Southern Asia—Hepzibah Kore Text credited to NIV are from the Holy Bible, New shepherd/shepindex.html Southern Asia-Pacific—Netty Rantung International Version. Copyright 0 1973, 1978, 1989, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Southern African Union— Zondervan Bible Publishers. Coordinator: Sharon Cress Beautiful N. Wakaba Editor: Sharon Cress Trans-European—To be appointed All articles are printed with permission Editorial Assistant: Shelly Lowe Layout and Design: Shelly Lowe
2 7Se Aurnal, Fourth Quarter 1999 TA' 7riguie 7o a %sior's7dife
irol celebrated her 70th On Sabbath I was invited to speak 9erczfo 57. CAksio birthday on March 8 to an overflowing congregation. Sev- J and we together celebrated eral of those who had witnessed our our wedding anniversary on March 28 wedding were present. Excitement in the same church we were married in filled my being as I remembered Birol fifty years ago. To make this sentimen- walking down the aisle on her father's tal journey possible we travelled thirty arm to the strains of the wedding hours on three different trains for two march played through a record player nights and three days, then an hours amplifier. There was no organist. She flight and a four-hour car ride 65 miles carried a bouquet of aram lilies and up a winding road to Shillong, the looked more lovely than everything I capital of India's northeastern border had seen before. But the next day she states of Meghalaya—the abode of the looked even more lovely than she had clouds. fifty years ago. Strange how beauty is Our son Gordon, his wife Rose, enhanced by gracious living and is in with their two teenage children also the eye of the beholder. journeyed from Spicer Memorial The minister who spoke that College to be with us and to celebrate evening reminded Birol that she was their 22nd wedding anniversary. Gor- one of the few girls who carried the don and Rose had met at Philippine brass water pots from the stream and Union College. He wanted to show his placed them in the cone-shaped baskets family his mother's birthplace. We strapped to her forehead rather than arrived two days before our anniver- have him haul the pot up himself as sary and memories flooded our mind most of the other girls did. A small Gerald retired in 1990 from being a church as we visited parks and lakes where we gesture from school days that had not administrator had talked and had planned our future gone unnoticed! Yet in that gesture he after 47 years of service. He lives lives together. They are familiar but saw a plant which had produced a in Hosur, India different to what they had been when bountiful harvest of good deeds with his wife seen through young lovers' eyes. The through the years. Birol. They have 5 children and 10 old wooden home aptly named "Seven What keeps a man and women grandchildren. He Sisters Cottage" was sold when Birol's together for fifty long years? Most are enjoys preaching, mother made her home with us. A bound by custom and social pressure. writing, reading, singing and mammoth concrete three-storied struc- Many are bound by fear. Then there are cultivating ture now stands in the yard where the those who stay together for the friendships. girls played and where their wedding children's sake and some for economic receptions were held. reasons. Finally there are those who
.7Se Yournal; Fourth Quarter 1999 3 find happiness and fulfillment in just being together. Very few enjoy this relationship of togetherness naturally. There has to be adjustments. I can imagine the first few years of marriage must have been difficult for Birol. I was the only son, youngest of five siblings. atihtntcus Meeedihvgd Birol is timid, tender and sensitive with a warm sense of humour. These traits Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas stood her in good stead as she gently and present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a lovingly cared for her family. street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring I have often wondered what makes it. her an outstanding homemaker. She credits her Heavenly Father for what she "Is this your car, Mister?" he asked. calls the gift of four "Ses"—the speed of a gazelle, the strength of an ox, the Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The stamina of a long distance runner and boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and the skill of a craftsman. She can clean up it didn't cost you nothing? Boy, I wish..." He hesitated. Of a mess, prepare a meal, tend the garden, course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going and adorn herself in a jiffy. Blessed with to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred these four "Ses" the mundane chores of Paul all the way down to his heels. daily living need only moments of her time, but the more important and "I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that." influencing tasks of parenting, being a companion and a church leader cannot Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he be accomplished in a hurry. They added, "Would you like to take a ride in my automobile?" require long hours of study, prayer and discipline. "Oh yes, I'd love that." She declines a church office or After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, speaking appointment unless she knows "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?" Paul she can be "a workman that need not be smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He ashamed" and has time to do justice to wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big the appointment through careful prepa- automobile. But Paul was wrong again. ration. Her dependence upon God is complete and aptly summed up in her "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He experience as told to the assembled ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming ladies at the 1980 General Conference back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little Session. Reporting on that event, the crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then editor of the article wrote: "Desperate, sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car. "There finally—with all efforts seemingly of no she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to avail, she implored God to change her him for Christmas and it didn't cost him a cent. And some day feelings. She agonized with Him to I'm gonna give you one just like it...then you can see for make her effective, and God gave her yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that special help. She knew that it was from I've been trying to tell you about." Paul got out and lifted the Him and perhaps only in that way lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother would she have ever learned she could climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memo- fully count on Him. Looking back on rable holiday ride. that experience, Birol who had bared her soul before us, calls it blessed and That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he wonderful. God had shown Himself to had said: "It is more blessed to give..." her as the key, not just for the job, but for life itself."—Adventist Review, May 1, 1980. GC bulletin 9. What a woman. Inspiration describes her in Proverbs 31:10-31! * r
4 3Se Yournal; Fourth Quarter 1999 1(77‘y Yoy,
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) et me tell you about It didn't take long before we were Ckirks 6. C ooper the girl who became my frequently dating. We soon developed L wife in 1942-58 years ago. the plan of a regular weekly date on I was preparing for the ministry and it Wednesday evenings. Do you wonder was important that I find the right kind how we spent those evenings? You are of girl to become a preacher's wife. right—we attended prayer meeting When I first saw Virginia, I must together. It soon became obvious to admit that I took more than one look. me that Virginia was not only a pretty, She was in her late teens and was she young lady, she was also a dedicated ever pretty! However, I did realize that Seventh-day Adventist and loved to selecting the right girl to be a preacher's serve Jesulbeen my joy, my love, and wife included much more than her my wife. Our ministry has included facial features. pastoring churches and conducting The first major thing I discovered evangelistic meetings. We have about Virginia was that she had spent worked together in preaching the the first 15 years of her life in India gospel truth in six different countries. where her parents had been missionar- This hasn't always been easy. In ies. This interested me very much for I the Orient, we lost all of our had done considerable dreaming about possessions, except the contents of four being a missionary. When I realized small suitcases. On more than one that she already knew a lot about a occasion, we faced rifles and bayonets. missionary's life, my interest in her At one time, our work included hiking increased. through bandit-infested mountains. Pastor and Mrs. Charles and Virginia Cooper At the time I met her, Virginia was One night, thieves broke into our employed as the housekeeper for a bedroom while we were asleep and wealthy lady. She was an expert at that stole much of our clothing. Amaz- job. This was definitely a point in her ingly, Virginia was convinced that we favor since I liked a neatly kept home. were doing the work God wanted us to When I found out that she was also an do. The result? She fearlessly faced all excellent cook, I was even more kinds of dangers and losses. attracted to Virginia. When I learned Virginia has always taken an active that she made most of her clothes, I part in my ministry. This has included realized that this skill would make it accompanying me in pastoral visiting, much easier to live on a preacher's giving Bible studies, conducting veg- salary. etarian cooking classes and entertain-
7Se Yourna 4 Fourth Quarter 1999 5 ing guests in our home. I remember home with love. And believe me, I children. Usually, we went together to when we bought our first food freezer. needed this assurance that house, but this time I was Virginia decided to keep enough more than once. by myself. When I rang the prepared food in the freezer to Virginia's min- doorbell, a seven-year-old entertain up to twenty unexpected istry included do- Virginia bas lad opened the door. guests at any time. The church folks ing special things Suddenly, a puzzled look always Mien an loved her and she spent many an hour for the little folks in came over his face and chatting on the phone with lonely our flock. One day adive par/ in my with a questioning tone in seniors. she had baked a batch his voice, he asked, "Where is When I think about all the things of cookies and asked me the other Pastor Cooper?" Virginia has done for the churches we to leave them at a home Well, that just about says it all, served, I remember it this way—every where there were two small doesn't it? church we served received two pastors for the price of one. I never succeeded in getting Virginia to preach a sermon. However, many of the best ideas I had for my sermons came from her as we drove The Bible and the TV Guide our car from one home visit to the next. And she was always at prayer meeting with me. This was true even when our On the table, side by side children were small. Our oldest The Holy Bible and the TV Guide. daughter would sit close to Mother and One is well worn but cherished with pride our youngest would sit on Mother's No, not the Bible, but the TV Guide. lap. At the Sabbath worship service, the first thing I did when it was my turn to One is used daily to help folks decide present the sermon was to scan the No, it isn't the Bible, it's the TV Guide. congregation to make sure I knew As the pages are turned, what shall they see? where Virginia was sitting. Why? Oh, what does it matter-turn on the TV. Because I knew that she would be praying for me. Then confusion reigns; they can't all agree Virginia took an active part in the On what they shall watch on the old TV. 35 evangelistic campaigns we con- So they open the book in which they confide ducted. One of the first things we plan No, not the Bible, the TV Guide. to do when we get to Heaven will be, hand-in-hand, to walk the streets of the The Word of God is seldom read city looking for the people we worked Oh, maybe a verse as they fall into bed. together to bring to Jesus. And I'm sure Exhausted and sleepy and tired as can be that at least half of the stars the Not from reading the Bible, but from watching TV. conference records indicate are mine will be in Virginia's crown. So then back to the table, side by side Of course, there were many Is the Holy Bible and the TV Guide. church duties I could take care of by No time for prayer, no time for the Word myself. Virginia developed her own The plan of salvation is seldom heard. plan to bid me farewell when I left the house on those occasions. She would Forgiveness of sin, so full and free leave whatever she was doing and go to Is found in the Bible, not on TV. the front window. There she watched me back our car out of the driveway. Then, as I turned onto the street, she would wave good-bye to me. This always said that, even if I made some dumb mistake in what I was going to do, she would always welcome me back
6 .7 e. ournaJ Fourth Quarter 1999 (TaliAftj tge (.)j atca Niao egtiotunao
am not like Ebenezer specific requests they may have. If you Jitaicij 63(n/tett Scrooge, truly I am are creative, you could always design not! However, I must admit I am your own card with a Christmas rather glad when Christmas is over. It message on one side and the promise of is always with a sense of relief that I stuff prayer on the other. It is probably the the Christmas tree back into its box, most precious gift you can give. gently lay the Christmas baubles into Suzie asked Carrie and others to their hibernation home and hurriedly pray for her to lose weight as extra whip rows of Christmas cards off our pounds piled on due to steroids. The hall wall. following Christmas, Suzie was thrilled I love the Christmas story with its at wearing a smaller dress size for the message of a selfless God who cascaded festive season knowing that many had into our sin-darkened world bringing prayed for her. dazzling light. I love the snapshots of the nativity scene which tell of a God 2 . gte.944&4. N.Ote.6 Of who valued a relationship with us so much that He gave Himself that first Stvcoutatentent Christmas. Wouldn't it be wonderful Instead of discarding your to reflect that same concern for Christmas cards, keep them on hand developing relationships at Christmas? and pray for the sender of one of the What can we do then to deepen cards during your devotional time. our friendships with families, friends You can do this several times and others we may come in contact throughout the year. Afterwards write Mary is a pastor's wife who lives in England with during the holiday season? What a note of encouragement to the and author of the book, When God Comes to Visit. She plays an active part in her husband's can we do to put the "joy" back into individual. Keep a basket of notelets ministry, and Christmas? What can we do as pastoral with your devotional material and in writes for a families to reduce the amount of stress five minutes your note will be written. variety of that descends upon our homes during Doing this will enhance your magazines. For relaxation Mary the Christmas period? relationships with others rather than loves to be with following the usual routine of only friends and 1. give a amide making contact once a year. Friendships family, adores are too valuable not to be maintained. walking and One way of making Christmas enjoys making contact more personal is to offer to various crafts. pray for the person you are sending a 3. Mufte liae of de Safets Christmas card to. Ask the individual I always buy and wrap my to contact you and let you know of any Christmas presents for the following
3Se Yournal, Fourth Quarter 1999 7 year in the January sales. Not only does the patio to be built, valued the gift of midst of all the busyness of Christmas, it allow me to buy things at half the cost, time and skill a great deal. spend time alone with your family. I am able to buy things that I feel family This can be carried through the Make that time pleasant. They will and friends would like. It is one way of rest of the year. For Pam's birthday her remember that long after the presents alleviating the Christmas stress and it family plans to spend the day with Pam you buy them. frees me to enjoy the season, allowing carrying out general house repairs and me to spend more time with others working on her garden which causes 9. Wow 't tcotort 'Pout eteoent to than my cheque book! her much stress. It is much easier to give a gift, but it will strengthen g30 God's present to us on that first relationships more when we give of 4. &date a c5;.aZition Christmas was His Son. Jesus Christ ourselves. Christmas eve is probably the best was born on this earth to give each one part of our Christmas season. In our of us the opportunity to know God pastoral home Christmas is usually a intimately as we were created to. time of frenzied activity. Christmas In response we can give God the eve is a stop-gap for us. We buy a chance to make His gift meaningful in Chinese meal to be eaten at home, our lives by consistently spending time huddle up near an open fire, open one with Him. Why don't you use the present and just enjoy being with one Christmas season to examine your another. Jonathan and I make time to relationship with God and see if God's spend with our children, entering into gift is still important in your life? their excitement of the day to come. I Relax, you may now enjoy treasure the memories of these times Christmas knowing that you are doing together. the most important thing of the season by reaching out and deepening your 5. Ritif one Otedeta relationship with others. After all, isn't that what Christmas is all about? * Instead of family members buying one another presents perhaps one family can purchase one gift for another family. The money saved by 7. gettint to OttlOW edeto not buying individual gifts can be Christmas is a great opportunity given to someone in need. There are to deepen relationships with neighbors, many causes that need help particularly your children's friends and their during the Christmas period. Deciding parents or colleagues at work. Why not on a cause and getting involved have "Open House" and invite your practically or financially can enhance acquaintances into your home. You our relationships with each other as a need only serve simple snacks and project is worked upon. relaxing conversation. You may end I read of one family who placed red up with a friend. envelopes on their Christmas tree, containing a donation each person had 8. Mae a Mewl made to a particular cause. Christmas This past Christmas was a really is a great time to reach out to those in busy one for us. We travelled. We need. entertained. We met the needs of our extended family. However, the 6. Won't Spew) a Mato highlight for us was spending the night Instead of giving gifts why don't in an old-fashioned guest house en you give of yourself? During the route to visiting relatives. We slept in a Christmas season, James and his family room, talked and giggled as we nephew Donald helped an elderly tried to get to sleep. We had no one's relative build a patio. Working needs to meet but that of ourselves. The alongside one another was great. The whole experience was cozy, elderly relatives who were desperate for comfortable, and satisfying. In the
8 7Se Yournal; Fourth Quarter 1999 ginexpecieo f
n elderly lady we tomatoes plants did amazingly well. L'iffian CIafak hardly knew came Large, healthy-looking tomatoes began one morning to borrow to form. two and six pence (26p). That was so Then, to our surprise, my husband many years ago I can't even recall what was given the opportunity to go for the she needed the money for. At that time two-year ministerial course at Bethel we had not been long in the ministry College. A few weeks later we had to and were rather on the poor side. move to Bethel. By then, however, the Nevertheless, we gave her the money, tomatoes had begun to ripen. They and that was that. We would some- were just the type for a good tomato times remember the two and six pence salad. she had borrowed from us, but even if And what a lot of them! We picked we had seen her we would not have and picked—enough tomatoes to fill dared to ask about it. two wooden boxes. There were still In those days, with that amount of some very green ones, but we did not money we could have bought a bottle have room for them anyway. We of cooking oil, or a loaf of bread and invited some neighbors and church perhaps a pint of milk. Yet we dared not friends to help themselves to the ask for that money from an elderly remainder of those lovely tomatoes— person who was perhaps even a widow. our repayment from an elderly, hardly- We did not really know her. In fact, we known lady. did not even know where she lived. We It was during the experience of had only occasionally seen her in the those tomatoes that I first heard my vicinity. husband quote the verse, "Cast your Several months went by, then one bread upon the waters, for after many day she brought us some tomato days you will find it again." (Eccl. 11:1, seedlings. We took them and thanked NIV) her for the gift. Though it seemed to us that she We wondered if those seedlings had forgotten about the borrowed would survive. Water was very scarce, money, she decided in her own time to and already I had to get our water from repay us in her own way. We surely the street tap. Each day I had to stand in found our bread multiplied many, the queue to get water for the house and many times over. Bless her heart, she for the washing. How would I also keep gave us much more than the two and tomatoes alive? six pence we had given her. Besides, the soil was very poor. It If we plant the word of God, we looked as if it had been years since that may not get the results we would like to ground had grown anything. To make see as quickly as we would like to see matters still worse, our house was on a them. Yet in His own time—maybe street corner with lots of cars and even after we are gone—the Lord will Lillian is a pastor's wife in South Africa. pedestrians passing by. Could these bring the results. Therefore, let us take tomatoes possibly make it to maturity? heart. tt We kept watering the seedlings anyway, and as the weeks rolled on, the
3Se Yournaf, Fourth Quarter 1999 9 leeffeclions .(71'0122 [11:12- Ouigoing [Presicfeni of 6Aep&I-Yfess
ather than being a that others have been where we are and 6krfee Yeisner women's social club— can lift us up. We find that some are one more activity in which where we have been and we can be there to be involved in our already crowded for them. schedule—Shepherdess is a dynamic We also realize how different we interaction of wives who share a are as individuals and appreciate the unique, difficult, and stressful role. unique talents we have. We learn from Shepherdess provides the rare oppor- each other, we compliment each other, tunity to share our burdens with those and thus we value each other. The result who understand and walk in similar of this dynamic interaction is that our shoes. That understanding and accep- hearts are united in love and concern tance offer tremendous support that and adoration for each other and also gets us through the hard times. We can our Lord, our Shepherd. God's Spirit look back to our warm memories binds us together, and our prayer in together and look forward to our next song that someone sees Jesus in us is ones and know that we are praying for realized. We experience unity in each other. diversity at its best. Shepherdess is dynamic because it It has been my prayer and goal as responds to our needs at any given past president to promote this oneness time. As peers we reach out to each and to value our differences. We need Shirlee lives in Hong Kong. She is currently other in times of special need. We pray homeschooling her three children and also works for each other. We address a variety of each other. We will be the stronger for as a nurse in Obstetrics, Labor & Delibery and topics and issues at our retreats that the it. We each have special gifts to offer. Nursery. Her Together we give a more whole picture hobbies include committee chooses after much discus- studying sion and prayer. We allow our of God. Cantonese. She is the leader in individual gifts to be expressed, from the junior the decorating to the organizing to the division at her greeting, in a non-threatening atmo- church. Mainly she just sphere. loves being with When we are together, we soon people. realize we are not alone in our experiences as pastors' wives. We find
10 7Se Aurnal; Fourth Quarter 1999 [linonymous 7.1-Diuie 10 a 176nisier'sWe
he slipped so quietly into Other fond memories of our associa- school dresses. my kindergarten room tion include singing with her in the In- I was always happy she had a that Sabbath morning, yet it gathering and Sunshine bands. Some- boy—a regular boy, with a capital B. I seemed another light had been turned how these experiences opened avenues too had a live wire and our joys and on. I felt so pleased when at the close for reaching hearts of sick and lonely problems gave us much in common. I she remarked that she and her little son people I might not have found alone. In watched her patient, consistent meth- had enjoyed the Sabbath School. Later I cases of emergency her ever-present will- ods in training her children. realized how generous was her praise ingness to fit in and fill in wherever she Of all the happy church services when I saw her in action in the primary was needed won our admiration. conducted by Elder , the three department. Often when making even small de- I best remember were the baptisms of As a young girl my dream was to two of our daughters, and the dedica- marry a minister. Through the years I tion of the little one. Behind those beau- studied the virtues of ministers' wives tiful services were work and careful plan- to prepare for that coveted position, ning that only a minister's wife could do. should it be my privilege. Some of our We were sorry when she left our pastors' wives were more outstanding church. We will miss her, but her life than others, but I loved them all. will touch hundreds of other lives. I Then one day, ten years after I mar- knew this was in God's plan. When ried my minister (a medical evangelist), she thinks of us she can remember one I met the minister's wife who seemed little flickering light in our church, that to possess all the lovely traits I admired is beaming brighter than it would have, and wished to emulate. The new min- had it not touched hers. ister brought something very special to cisions we ask ourselves, "What would our church. How we loved him for his Jesus do if He were in my place?" It is high ideals and clear messages. Secretly easier for the women of the church to I often wondered, outstanding as he is, know better what He would do if we see would he be the same if his wife were the minister's wife doing it. I believe she different and less helpful? tries to do what Jesus would have her As I think back over the years since do. we met, I see how easy it was for people Although I can't remember the cut to be drawn to his wife. How often I or color of any dress except one which Written by a church member who have heard her say, "I understand," and she wore, I think of her as a perfect ex- appreciated the work of her pastor's wife and I knew she really did. We experienced ample in dress. That particular dress admired her sweet Christian character. the ultimate of her love and thought- was blue—and our daughter, admir- fulness the day she kept our seven chil- ing both the wearer and the dress, chose dren while we packed and moved. a similar pattern for one of her own
gEe Yournal, Fourth Quarter 1999 11 GI-Yea/lee 3fug91ng
rish grew up in a home love. Ministering to one another is not Ceelyn 9/ass where religion was necessarily giving advice and telling practiced spasmodically. others what would be best for them but When she was high-school age, the rather taking time to share and to listen. academy principal visited her home I live in a rural area where and persuaded her parents that Trish neighbors are separated by miles. But should come to the academy. we have close emotional ties and take Looking back, Trish reminisced time for each other. Our day may be on those days, "This was a blessing for planned from beginning to end, but if me. Living in a burned-out trailer in a neighbor calls and needs a ride to the the middle of the desert was no place doctor, the answer is "yes." If there is a for a teenage girl. Going to the academy death in a family, food is prepared and was wonderful! I enjoyed being there taken to the home with love and a and entering into the activities of the "hug." A young mother may need a school. But the girls dean was so cold. baby-sitter on short notice and time is She didn't realize that I wasn't a made to help her by caring for the naughty girl; I only needed a hug." children. Loneliness and discourage- As I listened to Trish and saw her ment are often dealt with by a phone now as a beautiful young wife and call to one another—laughter and mother, who no longer attended conversation are wonderful antidotes. Evelyn is the wife of Darrell, a mother and a church, I reflected on her words and We care for each other and make time grandmother. When time permits you may find her doing folk painting, needlework, knitting, refinish- thought, "If only love was practiced, to be a good neighbor. Our daily ing furniture, entertaining, or reading. Also, she how many more happy lives there schedule may be completely revised enjoys writing for various publications, speaking would be." but we feel we have given and received and giving seminars. Evelyn has been active in her community serv- As women of the church, how do a hug. ing on boards we minister to one another and give Women who work together on and committees. She serves as that "hug?" church projects, in the office, at school Women's Minis- Like Trish, many women have told or other areas are in an ideal place to tries Director for the Mid- me they feel the need for women give that extra hug. How easy it is to America Union counselors—not necessarily profes- say, "You were especially kind to your and is active in her local church sional counselors, but a friend who will student," "I like the way you did the as elder, church listen and keep their confidences. They decorations," "Your presentation was clerk, and teacher need someone who will sympathize thoughtfully prepared and clearly in the primary department. and offer a word of encouragement in presented," "The meeting was well
12 .7Se Yournal, Fourth Quarter 1999 arranged," "You did a good job!" Women who are living alone in Forget competitiveness and envy. You the later years of life also need the receive back as much love as you give. attentions we are able to give. An When ministering to other invitation to lunch, a ride to the women, don't forget the "little" shopping center, or a visit on the women—daughters, granddaughters, telephone all help to make their days and young women in the church or more pleasant. Sending a letter or card neighborhood. Speak kindly, posi- in the mail will also give them a lift. And tively and with encouragement to them too, the wisdom they have gained ceiVe 60 whenever possible. Write notes to let through their years of life will often them know you appreciated or enjoyed make our lives easier if we will seek it. something they did at church or As we spend time with these women, dat elsewhere. Compliment them on their we not only give a hug but most new glasses, hair, poise, clothes, or certainly receive one. scholastic achievements. As Jesus ministered peopee Invite them to your to people, He was home and do sensitive to their something spe- 2s Yews minis/erect needs and cial for dif- lo people, Se was hugged get to ferent ones people in individually. sensilioe fo their needs many ways. When visit- and Suffed people in Don't be mow ing with afraid to give a them—and do many ways. hug. You may feel visit with them— that some don't need deg respect their opinions, it and will be put off at listen to their comments. You will learn your attempt to give one. But I believe something and maybe you will get a you will be surprised at how many are wiff get hug while giving one. waiting for that caring attention. Even Also, remember those who are the most confident, well-adjusted single. Value their contributions to the woman needs a hug. to know church, the community, and your Life includes numerous responsi- family. Share your home and a meal bilities, and can be very complex at with them and include them in special times, but try accepting the challenge of plans and activities. Don't think of caring and sharing a hug with those atiet single women as a threat or as someone who come to you in their need. And whose main goal in life is to find a don't forget to reach for and accept the spouse. Many single individuals have love that other women of your church Beam chosen that lifestyle and would like are so willing and ready to give you. others to accept that they are happy Everyone must be willing to receive a with their choice and with their hug as well as to give one. involvement in their careers. etogeNt. een,tz
76e~ournal Fourth Quarter 1999 13 ilrofAer of a [Proolfigal Dauyker
7[2) e went up the hill the only link between them. She began ,(7fno- irea Zoffer side on a small path. It smoking and lying about it, and being was a beautiful, sunny day. a sensible girl, she concluded that she Clasped to my hand was the small hand could not get baptized under such of my four year old, a slim, sunburned, circumstances. blond little girl with bright, blue eyes. We sent her to an Adventist At that time we lived in a small town on school, not knowing her problem. We the edge of a forest. It was perfect just wanted her to be among Adventist surroundings to rear children. When young people. There she got baptized we reached the edge of the woods we sat but told me later that she had "tried down on a bench. It was warmed by the hard to believe but couldn't." She did sunshine and the place offered a not get along well with some of the beautiful view of the valley below. We teachers. There was wrong on both listened together to the birds' songs in sides but being young she only saw that the trees and watched bees, bugs and she was wronged and she connected ants at our feet. We talked about how her experience with the church as a beautifully God had made all the things whole. around us. She asked a thousand We then sent her to another questions and it was fun talking to her. Adventist school although we would When we went back home, I decided have preferred to keep her at home but that this was one of those memorable it was not possible because of the events in life, and that surely children curriculum. While the first school was were a gift of God. very conservative, the other one was When she was thirteen years old, extremely liberal. Here she met many on the way back home from a retreat, other Adventists who did not live an our daughter told us she wanted to be Adventist life, and that was her alibi for baptized. However, when school living like that herself. Finally, she went began, she never said anything about it too far and had to leave the school. anymore, and when I asked her about it Now she is at a public school. She gets she let me know that this was her very along very well there. The teachers like own decision and that I should leave her since she is a very polite person and her alone. In the meantime, we once does well in her school work. Her Andrea is a pastor's wife in Germany, the mother of three girls, and an English teacher. again had to move and at her new Christian upbringing is evident. Be- Sometimes she translates books for the German school she had a difficult time finding sides that, she gets along wonderfully Adventist Publishing House. friends. She finally found some who with her classmates. She does not go to were smoking, and that seemed to be church anymore, has a weekend job in
14 7Se YOUP/2.21; Fourth Quarter 1999 a bar and enjoys a life of many worldly normally with my daughter again. Not people's children. The thing is, though, parties. Lately she has declared that she everybody has a counselor for a friend, that never before did it hurt so much. does not believe in God anymore, and but it would be good to seek counseling that the Bible is just a story and history with someone you can trust. Theory #4: Job regularly brought book for her. an offering to God, lest his children had As a minister's wife, I have often Theory #2: You have not done done something wrong. What you can had talks with parents whose children anything wrong, so it is not your fault. do is pray. have turned away from the church. I've The question all parents ask This certainly is true. This is what always tried to comfort them. When themselves under such circumstances you can do, should do and surely will people told me stories about parents is: "What have we done wrong?" And do. But it was a big problem for me whose children went wayward I tried even though there will be many which probably not everybody has. I not to find fault. I used to tell them that friendly people who will try to tell you am not a very patient person, and I did not dare judge, since my own that you did not do anything wrong, therefore, in the past I always expected children were not grown. I could not that you actually did a good job quick answers. I had experienced predict how they would turn out. No educating your children, you will quick answers to my prayers. And one can believe or make decisions for know in your heart that you have made since my daughter was leaving home someone else. The only thing parents many mistakes and that you have not within six months to study at the other can do was to try to do their best and always been a good example. Satan end of the country at a state college I set put their hope in God. probably rejoices reminding you of all myself a limit. I thought I had to work These are wonderful theories as the wrongs you have ever done hard, praying as often as possible, long as you are not involved yourself. concerning your children. So the best because this half a year was all the time Even though I always thought that thing is to admit that you are not I had. Not hard to see how wrong this something like that might happen, I perfect and then go to God and ask Him approach was! You can't set God a was absolutely dumbfounded and to forgive. This does not mean that you limit. Now that my heart has become a struck with horror when it happened to really have done a bad job. But when little quieter, I can pray without being me. Theory and Bible texts are one sinful people have to raise sinful in panic. thing, emotions are another. For a children in a sinful world it is while all the good advice I had always impossible to do a perfect job. Theory #5: Try not to show how held for others did not help me one bit. Admitting the wrong things you can hurt you are. From a first hand basis I offer this remember, and bringing them to God I once met a mother who cried advice: makes you free of them. It even is almost constantly, did not talk to her possible to talk with the child about it. daughter anymore or when she did talk Theory #1: Stay friendly in spite of This could be important because it was always on the same subject: Why the trying circumstances. children tend to find someone to blame are you leaving your faith? This might The children should know that since they actually don't feel comfort- not be the right approach but the other you love them anyway. The problem able in a situation like this either. way around, not showing how hurt was, though, that at the first shock, I you are, is not the right way either. A was hardly able to talk to her without Theory #3: It does not matter what lot of talking is probably useless but I crying. Besides that, I just did not other people think. think children must know you are hurt know what to say. This is something This is certainly right but it is still because you deeply believe in an that often happens when people a theory because it always causes everlasting life. When I was not able to mourn, and you have to accept that this sensation to see the ministers daughter talk, I wrote her a letter and I got an is a type of mourning. As a Christian smoking some place in town. Some- answer. There is another problem I who believes that there is a better life to times people won't judge, but they still noticed with parents in this situation: come, it must be one of your foremost begin thinking what went wrong. In Strangely enough they give up their aims in life to have your whole family our case there are some who think that own positions, some which they had with you when Jesus returns. Losing we might have been to narrow. I have held all their lives. Even if my daughter someone for that life (and that is what learned to admit my grief and now does not care a bit about the Sabbath it looks like at first sight) is like having there are some people praying for us right now, I asked her to respect our someone lost for eternity. I had to do a and really caring. There always is the Sabbath life as long as she lives in our lot of talking with my husband and I question of having to be an example for home. A young minister once told me talked to a friend who has teenage the church members, and once again that it was most important to him that children herself and also happened to you have to make clear the fact that his parents did not compromise their be a counselor. After that I could talk preachers children are just like other beliefs in any way when he distanced
iSe Yournal; Fourth Quarter 1999 15 himself from the church. They were children actually grow up in a heathen children but if this would be a theory, it friendly but faithful. world. When I was a child I was surely would be a bad one. I have had surrounded with Catholic children wonderful times with my children. Theory #6: Preachers kids are who were my friends. They believed in Educating them was educating myself. especially endangered to leave the God and they knew lying was a sin. I would not want to have missed that church because they see too many Nowadays children have to defend part of life. Letting children go and live negative things and maybe are reared their faith in kindergarten and nobody their own life always hurts. Letting too strickly. wants to be lied to but almost them go to live a worldly life hurts even The first thing is, the statistics are everybody lies. This is just one worse. But they have to make their own against it. Statistically compared, there example of how times have changed. I decisions and as I wrote in a letter to my are more preachers children who stay believe that the main reason our daughter: "Now I know how the father in church than children of church children leave the church is because in the Bible object lesson felt. Now I members and some of them become they are fatigued with the church way know how God feels about the millions ministers themselves. of life. Like the prodigal son they want of people who don't believe in Him. On the other hand, we have tried their inheritance now. They want to They are all still His children. All I can hard to have our children grow up live their life now. They don't want to do is wait just like the father in Christ's normally, and as far as it was not wait for all the "good things" life that example waited." I used to pray that possible to keep church problems away the world seems to offer them. This is God might give my children a good life from them, we talked about them and a sociological slogan suggested every- here, if they won't inherit everlasting always explained the difference be- where. life. This was not a good theory either. tween human action and God's will. Now I pray that God will lead them Anyway, I think that excusing a I once met a mother who had six back, and I only hope their journey will worldly way of life with the action of children and only one of them was in not be as lowly as the way of the other humans is just an alibi. Let's face church. In her bitterness, she told me if prodigal. it—it's not easy to be a young person in she could start over again, she would our times. There are many more not have any children at all. I know temptations than there used to be. Our now how it hurts to have prodigal
(Some 7Ainys 10 leernen26er a! 7AanA'syloiny
A great deal has been written about the virtue of forgetting old grudges, prejudices, unpleasant experiences, and heartaches. We also need to be reminded of some of the blessings of remembering. Remembering can be good spiritual exercise. At Thanksgiving we need to:
• Remember our sins that we might confess them to God. • Remember our weaknesses that we may receive strength. • Remember our humanity that we might stop trying to be God. • Remember God's mercies that we might be merciful to others. • Remember our joys that we might be joyful. • Remember God's greatness that we might be humble. • Remember our poverty that we might share our prosperity. • Remember God's forgiveness that we might forgive others. • Remember our needs that we might serve the needs of others. • Remember Jesus Christ that we might grow to be more like Him.
16 7Se journal Fourth Quarter 1999 7Ae 97(annepin ,(Pasior'sWe
aith Christianson has down her clothes—the insignia of her gnyrio &zivrenz Arc5712) been a pastor's wife for role. There she stands—naked, vulner- 3 the past twelve years. She's able, frightened, unknown to herself always smiling, always sympathetic, and unknown to God. She is confused always willing to be a hostess or Sunday and she knows there is something School teacher, and always busy. She wrong, so she starts to blame her has that too-good-to-be-true appear- husband. Then all the critical voices of ance. Always so sweet and so kind, she past authorities start rushing into her seems constantly to be talking to head. She feels uncovered and ashamed. people, yet somehow seems lonely. Suddenly, she hears the garage People come to her—she reaches out to door start to open. She hurries to put no one. She carts her kids everywhere, her mannequin persona back on, involved with them at school and all stuffing her smile in her pocket for their various activities, because Dad's tomorrow, lest he think she is usually too busy to help. interested in "anything" tonight. Faith is flexible and accommodat- You see, Faith Christianson has ing, fitting in wherever there is a need. confused a role with an identity. She She smiles and accepts the stern advice knows her Bible thoroughly; she was an or correction of the elder lady. She's ace at Bible quizzes as a teenager. Yet, loved by all but known by no one. she doesn't find time to gain nourish- On cold, dark, quiet evenings, ment from it anymore. It is only a when all the kids are asleep, when her textbook for completing teaching husband is still out at the elder's tasks. Talking to God personally Ingrid Lawrenz is a ministry wife in meeting and the clock has gone past the doesn't come up anymore. He seems so Brookfield, Wisconsin. Using her Masters in Social polite calling hours, she enters her impersonal and tied up in a committee Work, Ingrid serves as a clinical social worker at meeting somewhere. She's lost touch New Life Resources, a Christian outpatient mental room alone. There are no mirrors, no health clinic. pictures, no windows reflecting back with her gifts, talents and interests out She and her any images. It is then that she takes off of duty to perform the necessary. husband have her smile and lays it on the bed. Her face She's trying to mold and perfect two children. This ar- is sore and relieved to lose that weight. herself for the approval of the ticle appeared She sets aside her glasses that create the congregation, but Faith is tired due to in Just Between illusion of a lift and twinkle, revealing the sometimes contradictory expecta- Us, Summer 1995. empty sad eyes. Next she takes off the tions. Feeling like a failure, Faith tries makeup of perfection and lets it run to please the ladies who scrutinize her, down the drain. Finally, she throws leaving her with no idea anymore of
Yournal, Fourth Quarter 1999 17 what God wants her to be. She knows she is not supposed to be selfish, so she has no idea who her 'self' is. She's become an automaton, with ,71 cep.e.z-Doless ugly inner reactions that she ignores and pushes down. She blames her husband for not being more interested in her emotionally and for not trying to J12 97C/ion connect. However, when he does try to connect, no one is home. Faith has no idea what her real feelings are, so she is unable to share them or work through 3-fep zigah' 9 ✓1,0re them. Sometimes she's numb, at other times there is a hole filled with bitterness. I've met too many Faith rs. Arputhamani father and sister also accepted Jesus as Christiansons. I recognize them by Ponnusami is a their Savior. They will be baptized their honey-dripping smile and their pastoral wife in soon. Praise the Lord. He never far-away eyes. They need to be loved, Sawyerpuram, a small town in South forsakes those who trust Him. This accepted and introduced to a heavenly Tamil Section of South India Union. family needs our prayers. Father who is holy and righteous as She visits a nearby village called Arputhamani and four ladies from well as intimate, personal, and accept- Pandaravilai twice a week. As a result of the church had an all-night prayer ing. She needs to find Abba. her regular visits she has been able to meeting in one of the homes of the Women like this need to bask in organize a Bible study group for twelve church members. The prayer session His love so they can come out from ladies and two men. On Tuesdays the started at 10 p.m. At 12 midnight, one hiding and discover the self He made Bible study participants fast and begin of the ladies began to choke as she them to be. He wants to be connected their program at noon. Their Bible prayed; soon she could not speak. with that true self, allowing her to be a study ends at 3 p.m. Sensing this was the work of the devil, vessel filled with Himself and used for The Church of South India is Arputhamani started praying. She His glory, even if this does not fit the located in the center of Pandaravilai. rebuked the evil spirit in Christ's name classic pastor's wife role or please the Before the church was built there was and prayed earnestly for about thirty ladies. God wants her to face her inner much opposition to its location. The minutes. The evil spirit said, "I cannot feelings (Ps. 51:6) and work through Pandaravilai community did not want stay here any longer" and left. What a them so she doesn't have to blame their village to be overtaken by miracle! anyone for her unhappiness, but be Seventh-day Adventists. The villagers Arputhamani says God is leading responsible before God for the truth made fun of this person who kept the her in His ministry. She requests each about her identity in Him. Then she Sabbath and so fervently shared the reader of this article to remember her can stand openly before Him—out of Gospel of the Lord. The adults of the and her ministry in their prayers. * hiding, vulnerable, unashamed and no village thought it was a big mistake to longer alone. let her enter their community; they were agitated because many of the villagers began going to the Seventh- day Adventist Church. Hepzibah By God's grace and through her is the untiring labor, three people were Shepherdess baptized into the church. One of them Coordinator for is Annalthai, a blind young lady. She Southern was tortured the day she was baptized. Asia For ten days she was not given food. Division. She bravely told her father and other family members that even if she had to die, she would not depart from the truth she had accepted. Due to her steadfastness and good behavior, her
18 ,7Se7ournal; Fourth Quarter 1999 4m1 flat/ atiotunicto
hat year all of us came to his room, and found that he had done understand what it just as I had asked —lights off, heat J means to have been put turned down. But those crusty dishes out of an inn, only to be sheltered by were still in the sink. the hearts of those who care enough to I had better clean up this mess share. before the women of the church come in "I will bring you another blanket." here to complain. With that, I left the church and Then I scolded myself for putting went to my parsonage nearby. One my irritation onto the women. They more blanket should do it. knew his plight. I knew down deep that "Greg, when you leave in the there would be no complaining. They, morning," I told him, "make sure you too, had sons. turn out the lights. I have been finding "How is it that they told you to them on when I come over here in the leave?" I had asked him when he morning. I'm trying to save on wandered into my living room that electricity. The church folk are not rich, desperately cold night. you know." "They said that they had it with me Greg smiled, understanding that being a Christian. At first I thought he did have a habit of forgetting to turn they were taking to this new life of out lights in his one-room shelter. He mine. But then, flip. It had turned the also had a habit of leaving dirty dishes other way." He looked down at the in the sink in the church kitchen carpet, hardly able to take it in that his downstairs. Furthermore, he usually own mother and father had sent him forgot to turn down the thermostat packing. Where else could he go? There when going off to work each morning. were no relatives nearby. Then he I guess that's part of being in your thought of the church. He would go early twenties, I mused as I left this there. And so here he was on my front fellow. doorstop—his suitcase pressed against How could parents put their child his side. out at Christmas? That was one "You can use the restrooms— Rev. J. Grant Swank, Jr., is pastor of the question that was eating away at my shave, bathe. You can use the church Church of the Nazarene in Windham, Maine. Reprinted from Psychology For Living heart ever since he came to me, his kitchen to make your meals. Some- magazine, published by the Narramore Christian pastor, and had knocked on my times we will invite you over for Foundation, P. O. Box 661900, Arcadia, California parsonage door. supper. How's that? And there is your 91066-1900. The next day I twisted my master own thermostat. It heats up just the key into the lock, opened the door into room off the sanctuary," I pointed out
.7Ee Yournaf, Fourth Quarter 1999 19 all the "conveniences" of being turned What fun it was to poke about, we have wrapped and brought here just out into the cold at Christmas. doing things in secret when it all added for you. May this be a blessed "Of course, the sanctuary is a good up to ways in which we could warm Christmas after all." place for you to go in quiet, getting this young man's heart. The young man—not all that your thoughts together," I suggested. "Good morning, Greg," I called tall—rose to extra height with happi- Greg was a student of the Word. Since out to him as he left his one-room ness as he eagerly moved toward the becoming a believer, he could not get abode to join the rest of us for Bible pile of gifts, each one tagged with his enough of the Scriptures. class. name. One by one he lifted them, felt "Some of my personal study books their shapes, and gently shook them are on the shelves around the corner," I while holding them up to his ear. He told him. "Take your pick. Enjoy!" I looked around at each of us with tried to be cheery, though it was not all wonder and thanksgiving. that easy talking to a young man who My family "How can I say what is in my was bunking out in a side room of the heart?" he asked, hardly able to say church. Yes, it was the house of God. much more. But on cold, wintry nights it was also a are all those "You don't have to say anything, lonely place to walk into all yourself. just being with us this Christmas has Creaks sounded in the night. Radiators wonderful made this season very special for our croaked—some at odd hours. church family," I said. "Just don't get caught in the Christmas Day came and went. restroom taking a sponge bath when people who "Greg!" I called as I knocked on his someone with a key decides to case the door late that Christmas night. Loud place," I said, chuckling. come to this music was blaring from inside his He was game. What else was left? room. What if someone from the church He had finished college and come back had come into the building to hear that home to make some money so he could church. mash called "music"? I thought. pay off some bills. And now this. "Greg!" I knocked again. Presently "How can my parents turn their he came to the door. own son out like this?" he asked me one "What are you listening to?" I especially empty evening. "Good morning to you, Pastor," asked whimsically, as if not caring all "It is hard to answer that one," I he replied, cheerily. that much, just making conversation. shrugged, not wanting to appear too Greg had been invited to his Greg turned down the volume, serious. I figured that if we moved on parents' for Christmas Day. Would he then sat on the sofa made into a bed. to another subject, the pain might not go? He had said he would go. Why? "To "I guess I was just trying to drown linger. show them that I love them in spite of out my thoughts . . . and feelings . . . On Sunday the congregation was what they have done to me." Fine. Then with that noise," Greg said haltingly. told gently of Greg's plight. go. I wondered what they would wrap "That bad, was it?" I ventured. When the worship service ended, and put under the tree for their son- "That bad!" people needed no prodding in getting put-out-of-their-home-because-of- "And what did your parents give their heads and hearts together. In his-faith. But today, the celebration you for Christmas?" I asked. short order, whisperings on behalf of was with the Lord's people at the "Nothing." goodwill toward the young man were church. It was time to eat dinner. "Nothing? Nothing at all? Noth- filling the halls. It was coming up to the The meal was eaten with relish. ing? Just plain nothing?" Sunday just before the Big Day. We Such delicious, tasty dishes! Greg nodded. At the other side of were going to enjoy our fellowship "Now?" Sally asked as she tugged the room were all the gifts that had been meal after the morning service. at my coat. given by the church folk. They were all "Has the box been decorated?" "Now," I whispered back. A huge unwrapped and neatly stacked in one someone asked. I assured this lady that box was brought to the center of the corner. Marie had everything in place, and that fellowship hall. "My parents are not very happy it was hidden from Greg's view. "Greg!" people," he said. "I feel sorry for them. "Where do we put the presents?" It was not easy to get Greg's I am beginning to understand that they "Over there, behind the table. I'll attention when he was eating! need a lot of help." get them later and put them in the box "Greg! We have something special I nodded in a gesture of under- so that everything will be put together." for you today. Here are some presents standing.
20 7Se Yourng Fourth Quarter 1999 "The fact that they didn't give me one very precious gift—a gift that Christmases that Greg will ever know. anything was really getting through to stands out more than anything else." For some very important reasons, this me tonight. I turned up the radio trying "What is that?" season will no doubt stand out in his to drown out some of the hurt inside. I "It is that I do have a family, and it's memory as one of the most meaningful figured that no one would be here on more than I've known in my whole life. times in his life. Christmas night this late. So I thought My family are all those wonderful That was a year when all of us came it wouldn't harm anything—the loud people who come to this church. They to understand what it's like to be music and all." care about me. They love me. They gave rejected by one's own people and what "No problem, Greg. No one me all those great gifts over there." it means to be put out of an inn, only to would have stopped by. I just came I left him and walked back home. be sheltered by the hearts of others who because I wanted to see how you were "How's he doing?" my wife asked care enough to love. doing, and that's why I decided to walk as I walked through the door. over and check things out," I told him. "Not too well. But not too badly "Yet, Pastor, through this whole either. I mean, I think that this mess. I have come to realize that I have Christmas is one of the most precious
Out of the Mouth of Babes
When a mother saw a thunderstorm forming in mid-afternoon, she worried about her seven-year-old daughter who would be walking the three blocks from school to home. Deciding to meet her, the mother saw her walking nonchalantly along, stopping to smile whenever lightning flashed.
Glimpsing her mother, the little girl ran to her, explaining enthusiastically, "All the way home, God's been taking my picture!"
*** *it * * * * * -X*** -X** -1( *44 * * * ** * * * * * *it -X *it * -IF -X * * *IF -Xi* * * **IF*
A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones' chests would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe.
But she never got a response to equal four year old David's. Gently he tucked the stethoscope in his ears and placed the disk over his heart.
"Listen," she said, "What do you suppose that is?"
He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap-tap-tapping deep in his chest. Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin. "Is that Jesus knocking?" he asked.
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A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
.7Se journal, Fourth Quarter 1999 21 ilh 6Aeperoless ._7nIerncilionaf Yews East Africa Division presented seminars on character devel- the sick. Since funding for these Angeline Musvosi, Shepherdess Coor- opment in children. Mrs. Angeline meetings is so very limited, the dinator for the Division reports: Musvovsi lead in seminars about Shepherdesses raise their own funds problems that face the pastors wives. through bee-keeping, operating guest TANZANIA UNION: hostels and establishing a food factory South Mwanza Conference was the setting for 60 Shepherdesses who met together for a workers meeting March 23-27. Mrs. Angeline Musvosvi and Tanzanian Coordinator, Mrs. R. Manento lead out in the presentations with seminars on the topic of "The Ministers' Wife as a Leader." Group discussions included case studies. South Mwansa Conference Shepherdesses. Bugema Shepherdess Chapter, Uganda Union. Church Elders wives joined the shepherdesses on the third day. Central Zambabwe Conference holds MALAWI UNION: Together they all celebrated the Lords quarterly weekend meetings for the E. G. Malopa, Shepherdess Coordina- Supper and made a recommitment to Shepherdesses encouragement and tor reports that she met with the God's work. spiritual growth. At the last retreat Shepherdesses of Dididi, Mzuzu City, Pastor M. Z. Lunga presented "Whom Nkhataby, Lakeshore, Mximba and can I choose to resemble Me?" a Eninuweni districts. The Shepherdess seminar about influential men and of Ighembe church is teaching the women from Bible times. Each month community how to make soap and the group holds a Shepherdess Day of giving health lectures. The shepherdess Prayer and Fasting. of the Karonga district is conducting Bible studies on the book of Revela- UGANDA UNION: tion. The shepherdess of Dididi district Uganda Union Shepherdess Coordina- has quarterly classes for girls with tor, Ruth Aliddeki reports that the instruction about AIDS and being TAC Shepherdess Club. Mrs Mutaki (2nd from top Uganda Shepherdesses get together left row) is sponsor. faithful to God by refraining from sex during camp meetings where they outside of marriage. Tanzania Adventist College has a learn how to give Bible studies, how to Shepherdess chapter made up mainly conduct communion services, how to KENYA UNION: of wives of pastors in training. Mrs. counsell brides-to-be, how to manage Maranatha Shepherdess Chapter/CKC Angeline Musvovsi was the guest finances, and how to pray for and visit reports that Nairobi Shepherdesses speaker at a day conference on March 20. Mrs. Mutaki is the local sponsor.
ZIMBABWE UNION: The ZUC Shepherdess Chapter was excited to be able to meet in a ministerial retreat held in Gweru with Pastor and Mrs. Joel and Margarida Sarli from the General Conference Ministerial Association and Dr. and Mrs. Joel and Angeline Musvovsi from the Ministerial Association at the Division. Mrs. Margarida Sarli Margarida Sarli (center) meets with Zimbabwe Shepherdesses.
22 7Se Aurnal; Fourth Quarter 1999 held a Family Life Crusade with 50 people enrolling in the VOP lessons. Nakruru Shepherdess group held a crusade in which 3 were baptized. Meru-Isiolo group held a crusade in which 22 were baptized. Ukambani Shepherdesses conducted three ralleys and all were blessed by the Biblical Dorothy Biswas and Shepherdess at a seminar on the Lord's supper. Family Life principles. Florida Conference ministers wives at their weekend retreat. Marti Schneider speaker (far right) and Cheryl Retzer, Shepherdess Coordinator (3rd from left).
Southern Asia-Pacific Division BANGLADESH UNION MISSION: Shepherdess coordinator Dorothy Biswas reports that they have a total of Dorothy Biswas teaching Shepherdesses how to CKC Shepherdesses marching during the seminar. 43 shepherdesses and she has met conduct the Lord's supper. Mrs. E. Wangai is the leader. personally with most of them this year. Chapter come to serve the old people by Euro-Africa Division This year the group has focused on giving them nutritious food, cleaning spiritually as well as practically prepar- their rooms and yards, bathing them, Frauke Gyuroka from Austria Union ing for the Lord's Supper. and cutting their hair. They end their reports that she has begun giving Bible service to these special people with studies in her district and finds it very WEST INDONESIA UNION: prayer and the elderly do not mind even exciting and rewarding. The people Sarinah Simanjuntak, Shepherdess co- though most of them are Moslems. At she is studying with tell her how special ordinator of the South Sumatera every visitation the pastors wives are it is to have the opportunity to study Mission reports the shepherdesses of welcomed with smiles and happiness. the Bible with others. Palembang Chapter visit and serve the Tears are shed when the women leave elderly people in the nursing home and they always say, "Please come North American Division operated by the government in again." FLORIDA CONFERENCE: Palembang City, South Sumatera. The Florida Conference Shepherdess Coor- condition of these elderly is poor and The Palembang Chapter Shepherdesses dinator, Cheryl Retzer, reports on the sad. The old people have to help also conduct cooking classes followed Shepherdess retreats held during April, themselves to get water from the well by evangelistic crusades. This year they 1999. One group met in south Florida and wash their own clothes. Their have baptized 141 precious souls. at the Sheridan Suites in Fort Lauder- surroundings and rooms are unhealthy Praise the Lord! dale and the other group met at the and dirty. Every month the Palembang Adams Mark in Orlando. Marti Schneider, as the guest speaker for both events, focused on deepening the daily walk with Jesus and developing a personal mission statement. Spiritual renewal, fellowship, laughter, music and prayer were highlights of the weekends. One of the many responses from the pastors wives read: "This weekend was designed to make us as pastors wives feel special. I can go home refreshed in spirit and body to care for my family and serve my creator. I have renewed my commit- ment to spend more time with Jesus everday, the retreat meant more to me than you will ever know." Shepherdesses ofSouth Sumatera and the elderly they serve.
7Se Yournaf, Fourth Quarter 1999 23 Seasoned With Laughter
This new book is bound to have you laughing (or at least smiling) as you read about the humorous mishaps in clergy families. Here is just a sample of what you will enjoy:
My ministerial colleague was conducting his first wedding ceremony. Stressed out and nervous because he had conducted his first funeral just a few days before, he began the wedding ceremony, "I would like to welcome this grieving congregation. .. ."
And here's another one:
During an anointing service at church, the pastor called for those who wanted prayer and healing to come forward. A woman wearing a wig came to the altar. The pastor pushed up her wig to anoint her head. While he dipped for oil, she pushed it down. He pushed it up again and went for oil. She pushed it down again. Four times they struggled and finally the pastor just anointed the wig because the congregation was laughing so hard they had lost the solemnity of the moment.
There are hundreds of other funny stories that you will enjoy. You can purchase a copy from the Ministerial Association Resource Department by calling (301) 680-6508 or writing 12501 Old Columbia Pike, Silver Spring, MD 20904-6600. The cost is $8.95/each plus shipping. Be sure to order your copy today!
pi(s Seminars for rcovol‘to 1•000 36124 Tdors4s Chi\ Or er's Programs
There will be special plenary sessions for the pastor's wives during GC Pre-Session July 25-29, 1999. Special presentations on women's health problems, starting a Bible study group, team ministry, living a balanced lifestyle, and emotional health.
See you there!
24 7. Yournal, Fourth Quarter 1999