DOCSLIB.ORG

Is It Love Or Codependence?

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
Is It Love Or Codependence? Is it Love or Codependence? These days we say we “love” anything from ice cream, diamonds, and good weather to our children, lover, and God. The word “love” is overused and misunderstood. The overuse and misunderstandings about love has lead many to confuse love with the related phenomena, codependence. Are you or someone you care about “in love,” or “codependent?” This article will define and describe the behaviors that are characteristic of love and codependence. Then it will look at the misuses of the word love. Finally, we will discuss the relationship between love and codependence. There are four types of love derived from the Greek words eros, storge, agape, and phileo. Eros is the erotic or sexual love. Storge is the love that exists between parents and their offspring. Brotherly love is called phileo. Agape is the term used to describe pure love that is selfless and without conditions. It also encapsulates the notions of charity and altruism. There is an implied hierarchy as to which is the highest form of love, with agape topping the list. Love is a verb. It requires that we take action. At times, that action is what we do (e.g., acts of kindness); other times, it is an indirect action (e.g., having mercy). This is the type of love often described at weddings: "Love is patient [or long-suffering], love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres."1. In many ways, love is forgiving and self-sacrificing. Self-sacrificing? Doesn’t that hurt? Love is not supposed to hurt, right? Isn’t that codependence? We have heard a lot about codependence in recent years. What does it really mean be codependent? Codependence is an unhealthy form of attachment in which one behaves in an extremely passive manner or is preoccupied with caring for others to the point where their own needs are not a priority or are overlooked.2 Some harshly judge the person who is labeled “codependent.” Often we fail to recognize the reciprocal nature of the codependent relationship. A person cannot be a codependent without one or more co-conspirators. For every codependent there is a narcissist with whom he or she bonded. Given this definition, isn’t the type of love that Paul described co-dependent? Let’s see if an example will help us better answer these questions. Lori and Nick were divorced for five years. But to meet them you would not know it. Why? While divorced, they repeatedly flipped from dating to being in an estranged relationship. They continued to sleep together while dating other people. The ex-wife exhibited jealousy of and attempted to sabotage her ex- husband’s romantic relationships. The ex-husband stated firmly he’d moved on; yet, he admitted to giving ex-wife carte blanche in his home and wanting to remain “friends-with-benefits.” He was nonchalant about the fact that two women were fighting over him. Their relationship was characterized by stalking, caustic arguments, and even violence. Yet, they could not seem to let go of each other. When asked why they remained together when things were so admittedly problematic, they gave excuses. These excuses ranged from we don’t believe in divorce to needing to stay together for the children’s sake. When we got right down to it, they admitted that they stayed together because they “loved each other.” Both were matter- of-fact about the way their relationship functioned. The message they each sent was something is wrong with the other person and the relationship; but he or she did not contribute to the problems and thought the relationship was basically fine. Could this be love? This couple’s relationship definitely exhibited the erotic, sexual love (eros). Lori and Nick said they had the love for their children, the storge type of love. However, they argued and fought in the presence of their offspring. Their kids probably would not have said they felt the love on those occasions. Perhaps, brotherly love (phileo) was demonstrated in moments when they were caring and then would squabble like siblings. It is hard to say that this couple had mastered agape, selfless love. 1 of 3 Is it Love or Codependence? Did this couple behave in a manner consistent with love? Lori and Nick probably had and continued to have some good times in their relationship. This was probably the glue that kept them together, the hope that the good times would be more frequent than the challenging ones. They were hopeful they could reconcile. However, hope must be paired with the application of healthy actions toward their goals. Their actions had caused them to suffer for a long time. One could conclude that they were long- suffering. However, long-suffering means you will not give up easily, you’ll be patient. Patience and self- sacrifice are virtues when done in moderation. Like everything that is done in excess, it can be harmful. Self-sacrifice that includes continuous self-harm is not healthy. While they were long-suffering and persevered in this very emotionally painful relationship, this quality has a tipping point where it becomes toxic. Holding on too long could be harmful to the couple’s emotional well-being and in this case, also their physical well-being. We often hear the slogan, “love doesn’t hurt.” That’s not quite true. Ask a parent who lost a child. To love deeply and lose that loved one hurts; it’s almost a physical pain. We may be overwhelmed by the loss of loved one even if it is the loss of a romantic relationship. Like this parent, we can grieve the loss of a romantic bond and go on with our lives. Long-suffering does not mean you should allow yourself to be mistreated. We should not be miserable or accept verbal, emotional, or physical abuse in relationships. In this way, love should not hurt. While it may have started as a love match and fumes of love may still exist, this was not love but codependence. How do we know? Their behaviors were not kind. They were jealous of each other. While the ex-husband did not outright boast about the fact that two women were fighting over him, there was a sense that his ego was bolstered by this. He exhibited narcissistic tendencies. It is possible that she was a inverted or "covert" narcissists. According to Sam Vaknin’s definition3, she might not simply have had the misfortune of marrying a narcissist, she may have “craved” being in a relationship with a narcissist to enact her ability to be sacrificial. She might be saying to herself and demonstrating for all who are observing, “see how much I put up with.” Both were two proud to admit their own contribution to their conflicts. They were rude to each other and to the people who they dated. Their love was not about altruism. Instead, their love was about wanting the other person to fulfill their needs and fantasies about the relationship. They were self-seeking. The couple was easily angered to the point of violence. They keep score of the wrongs the other had done. Yet, they showed no remorse for their own problematic behavior. I suspected that each stretched the truth with rationalizations that made this relationship all right. Neither protected the other or was protected by the other. This relationship lacked trust. Theirs was not the agape kind of love and they failed Paul’s criteria for love. Lori and Nick exhibited a parasitic form of attachment that did more harm than good in the long-run. Other indicators that this was a codependence were the denial and low self-esteem exhibited by both parties. Neither saw or believed that they were too valuable to continue with their toxic escalation. This couple’s efforts to control each other through arguments and violence suggested that one or both of them did not understand the importance of their “different-ness” and separateness. They were not the same person. Lori and Nick did not understand that they were allowed to have different wants and needs. It was okay for each individual to make a choice for him or herself. It was not necessary to manipulate to get what you wanted. Setting healthy boundaries and consistently applying consequences to boundary violations was sufficient to change their relationship. This couple needed the clarity to discern what constituted an unhealthy relationship and the fortitude to know when to break off a dysfunctional attachment. Is it love or codependence? If your behaviors are unbecoming, unlike the love that Paul described, and motivated by self-interest, it is probably codependence and not love. There is a difference between giving to solely give versus giving with a motive to get. A pure sacrifice is not self-serving. True love is profound and calls on us to grow with each interaction. It is like a delicate violet that requires that we continually provide it with the optimal nourishment. 2 of 3 Is it Love or Codependence? If your relationship is characterized by codependency, the first step to recovery is to recognize your self- destructive patterns of interaction. Then develop strategies that will enable you to stop harming yourself. If you need help doing so, there are self-help books (see below) and groups (such as Codependents Anonymous or Celebrate Recovery), and psychotherapies.
Load more

Recommended publications
  • PDF Download Conquering Shame and Codependency
    CONQUERING SHAME AND CODEPENDENCY: 8 STEPS TO FREEING THE TRUE YOU PDF, EPUB, EBOOK Darlene Lancer | 180 pages | 01 Jul 2014 | Hazelden Publishing & Educational Services | 9781616495336 | English | Center City, United States Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You PDF Book Sexual Shame 8. Being able to discern shame and codependency and choose acceptance as well as relationship symbiosis and healthy interdependence while remaining liber Finally reviewing years after reading. In fact, shame can even prevent us from being our true selves. Progress not perfection! See all 9 brand new listings. View Product. Sarah rated it really liked it Aug 09, Average rating 4. Read an excerpt of this book! Whether you are facing relapse, learning to overcoming complacency, or taking responsibility for your feelings I feel seen This book covers shame in the same type of way Brene Brown covers vulnerability. I focused on a few of those areas that I could somewhat relate to I only picked up this book to research for someone at work. Showing Mar 22, Terralyn rated it it was amazing. Parents might shame kids for expressing feelings such as anger or sadness. Skip to main content. This was my favorite, which reminds me I need to order a couple more, I keep giving them away! Overall, I wanted to get a grasp on codependency as a whole. These codependent relationships --where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please ather--are often covering up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviours. While learning how to communicate my own needs, I have also learned how to communicate with my wife without judgments or passive aggressive responses, but rather to listen wholeheartedly and respond in a productive way.
    [Show full text]
  • Family Dynamics, Codependency, Healthy Boundaries, and Addiction
    9/26/2019 Addiction in the Family System Presenter: Samantha St. Louis, MS, BS, LPC, CSAC, NCC Learning Objectives • Explore the impact substance use has on a family dynamic • Understand family roles in families where a loved one is addicted • Demonstrate understanding of the positive and negative aspects of each family role • Explore the connection between family roles and co-dependent relationships 1 9/26/2019 Addiction • According to the CDC: o In 2016, 48.5 million Americans used illicit drugs or misused prescription drugs. o Opioid overdose visits to the emergency department increased by 30% from July 2016 to September 2017. o Sales of—and deaths from—prescription opioids have nearly quadrupled in the United States since 1999. o An average of 6 people die from alcohol poisoning in the US each day—and 76% of these are middle-aged adults. o Binge drinking results in $171 billion a year in healthcare- related costs and lowered employee productivity. Where does addition start? • Biology: The genes that people are born with account for about 60% of a person's risk for addiction. • Environment: A person’s environment includes many different influences, from family and friends to economic status and general quality of life. • Development: Genetic and environmental factors interact with critical developmental stages in a person’s life to affect addiction risk. Although taking drugs at any age can lead to addiction, the earlier that drug use begins, the more likely it will progress to addiction. 2 9/26/2019 Substance Use ,Ethnicity, and Sexual Orientation • In 2013, among persons aged 12 or older, the rate of substance dependence was higher among American Indians or Alaska Natives (AI/AN) than any other population group.
    [Show full text]
  • Why They Can't Let Go. “It Is Better to Know Some of the Questions of The
    Letting Go: Recognizing Codependent Behavior ~~~ Presented by Fran Campbell, MSN, RN, MEd, PMHCNS-BC, CARN Bonnie Franckowiak, DNP, FNP-BC, CARN-AP ~~~ IntNSA Annual Conference Denver, CO 2018 OR… Why they can’t let go. “It is better to know some of the questions ------ than all of the answers” 1 Codependency • “Codependency Operationalized” • A picture is worth a thousand words!! A picture is worth a thousand words Codependency: Origin of the Concept • Prior to the term “ chemical dependency ” family members and spouses of alcoholics were called co-alcoholics • When the term “chemical dependency” began to be used, spouses were called codependents 2 Codependency: Roots The codependency movement has its roots in the theories of German psychoanalyst Karen Horney (the first feminist psychoanalyst) In 1941she proposed her theory that some people develop a “Moving Toward” personality style (cont.) Codependents tend to “move toward” and attach to a personality that is somewhat “vulnerable and needy” Karen Horney believed that this behavior was a way of dealing with a deep seeded anxiety and insecurity Codependency: The Process These individuals move “toward others” to “try to help them,” but the real goal of the interaction is to gain their approval and affection and subconsciously “control them” using a very dependent and manipulative style of behavior “ I’m only trying to help you” 3 (cont.) Dr. Horney believed that this style of interaction seen in codependency is a reaction to dysfunctional parenting. In childhood, these individuals had critical, indifferent, rigid, abusive, or unavailable parents (cont.) They develop a helping stance, and try to get approval through their “behavior” rather than feeling valued just because they exist.
    [Show full text]
  • Codependency in Master's-Level Counseling Students
    Andrews University Digital Commons @ Andrews University Dissertations Graduate Research 2007 Codependency in Master's-Level Counseling Students Terri Lynne Pardee Andrews University Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/dissertations Part of the Higher Education Commons, and the School Psychology Commons Recommended Citation Pardee, Terri Lynne, "Codependency in Master's-Level Counseling Students" (2007). Dissertations. 619. https://digitalcommons.andrews.edu/dissertations/619 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate Research at Digital Commons @ Andrews University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ Andrews University. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Thank you for your interest in the Andrews University Digital Library of Dissertations and Theses. Please honor the copyright of this document by not duplicating or distributing additional copies in any form without the author’s express written permission. Thanks for your cooperation. Andrews University School of Education CODEPENDENCY IN MASTER’S-LEVEL COUNSELING STUDENTS A Dissertation Presented in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy by Terri Lynne Pardee March 2007 Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. UMI Number: 3261212 Copyright 2007 by Pardee, Terri Lynne All rights reserved. INFORMATION TO USERS The quality of this reproduction is dependent upon the quality of the copy submitted. Broken or indistinct print, colored or poor quality illustrations and photographs, print bleed-through, substandard margins, and improper alignment can adversely affect reproduction. In the unlikely event that the author did not send a complete manuscript and there are missing pages, these will be noted.
    [Show full text]
  • Poor Narcissus by Darlene Lancer, LMFT
    Poor Narcissus By Darlene Lancer, LMFT The gods sentenced him to a life without human love. He fell in love with his own reflection in pool of water and died hungering for its response. Like Narcissus, narcissists only love themselves as reflected in the eyes of others. It’s a common misconception that they love themselves. They actually dislike themselves immensely. Their inflated self-flattery, perfectionism, and arrogance are merely covers for the self-loathing they don’t admit–usually even to themselves. Instead, it’s projected outwards in their disdain for and criticism of others. They’re too afraid to look at themselves, because they believe that the truth would be devastating. Actually, they don’t have much of a Self at all. Emotionally, they’re dead inside and they hunger to be filled and validated by others. Sadly, they’re unable to appreciate the love they do get and alienate those who give it. Diagnosis All personality traits, including narcissism, range from mild to severe. Narcissism can be viewed on a continuum from mature to archaic. Mature individuals are able to idealize romantic partners, express their talents and skills, and accomplish their goals, while employing only neurotic defenses; a middle group has unstable boundaries and employ borderline defenses; and those highly sensitive to wounding, employ destructive, psychotic defenses and have unstable relationships (Solomon, 1989). Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), first categorized as a disorder by the American Psychiatric Association in 1987, occurs in 1 to 6.2 percent of the population; males exceed females at a ratio of 3:2 (Dhawan, 2010; McClean, 2007).
    [Show full text]
  • Codependency
    Codependency A Secondhand Life What does it really mean? • Codependent personality is a dysfunctional relationship with the self by living through another, or for another in attempts to control, blame, or fix. The irony? Is that most people who are in fact codependent, are deep down wanting someone to care about them, fix them. Simply Said- I get my needs met through other people. What are the “symptoms?” • Seeing life as black or white • Difficulty maintaining a healthy relationship • Believe that others are responsible for our emotions • Having feelings of powerlessness • Isolate and resent authority figures because were in charge! • Fear of Change • Having difficulty setting boundaries What are the feelings behind Co-dependency? • Feeling of inadequacy • Lack of self confidence • Cannot make final decisions • Confusion between love and pity • Acting like the victim • Lies. When it would be easier to tell the truth • The helper. Always wanting to help the next • Worry and think about other’s problems more than your own • Feel safe when giving/helping others Powerlessness • Ever tried to help someone so much, but it just isn’t working? Perhaps you're exhausted now, and now understand that it simply wont work. This often offers in recovery, whether you are the addict, or the one helping the addict. • You know it is useless because you have tried everything you can to change that person’s behavior… reread that sentence. YOU tried to CHANGE someone else’s behavior. (lets get real now) A wife tells of her efforts: “I hid his bottles and looked for the ones he had hidden.
    [Show full text]
  • 7 Ways to Avoid Codependency in Your Relationships - Worksheet
    7 Ways to Avoid Codependency in Your Relationships - Worksheet What is codependency? Codependency is a broad term and it can manifest in a variety of ways. Below are some of the most common symptoms of codependency. You don’t need to have them all to consider yourself codependent. I find it’s helpful to think of codependency on a spectrum – some of us experience more symptoms and distress due to our codependent traits than others. Which of these symptoms of codependency do you have? You feel responsible for other people’s feelings and choices; try to rescue, fix, make them feel better, or solve their problems. You feel frustrated and resentful when others don’t want your help or advice. You derive a sense of purpose from taking care of others. Your relationships can have an obsessive quality. You have difficulty accepting help. Your fear of abandonment and rejection result in people-pleasing and tolerating mistreatment. You’re hard-working, overly responsible, and may give to the point of exhaustion or resentment. You have perfectionist tendencies. You have trouble saying “no”, setting boundaries, being assertive, and asking for what you need/want. You routinely prioritize other people’s needs and wants above your own; don’t practice self-care routinely and feel guilty when you do. You’re afraid of conflict. You have difficulty trusting and being emotionally vulnerable. You suppress or numb your feelings and absorb other people’s feelings. You have low self-esteem, feel unlovable, or not good enough. You want to feel in control and have a hard time adjusting when things don’t go according to plan or the way you want.
    [Show full text]
  • A Sign of Codependency: Compulsive Giving Compulsive Giving: What
    A Sign of Codependency: Compulsive Giving by Heather Stone, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist, PSY 21112 Acts of giving often begin from a heartfelt place, arising from empathy, kindness, and a sincere desire to help others. However, our actions can also be motivated by our own personal needs and desires, some of which are elusive to us. In those moments, acts of generosity can suddenly leave us feeling confused or overwhelmed, lost in others’ emotional pain, or consumed by the problems of the people around us. Ironically, certain acts of giving can sometimes wind up producing opposite results, inadvertent consequences, or even ill will. How, you might ask, does this happen? The following reflections are some thoughts I have had over the years regarding the fine line between healthy giving and codependency. These thoughts developed from my own awareness that good intentions and deeds can go awry, that good people can do damage with their giving, and that there is a vague, diffuse line between generosity and pathology. Compulsive Giving: What Need Does it Serve? First, looking at this from an addiction model, I realized that giving can be compulsive, automatic, and not very conscious. (This is quite different than authentic giving, which feels more like a choice that comes from the heart). The compulsive type of giving is like a reflex – a knee-jerk response that happens without awareness of the other's needs, or our own motivation. And it often serves to avoid uncomfortable feelings. As with any type of addiction, the compulsive behavior exists to satisfy a need, or to try to produce a certain feeling.
    [Show full text]
  • Pain & Codependency in Patients & Doctors Disclosure Learning
    1/26/2016 Pain & Codependency in Patients & Doctors The Assessment and Management of Complex Chronic Pain Patients Dr. Paul Farnan Vancouver February 20 2016 Disclosure Disclosure HealthQuest Occupational Health Corporation Alliance Medical Monitoring I have no financial interests or affiliation with any pharmaceutical industry or manufacturer to disclose Disclaimer Views expressed are my own Learning Objectives • Physician Qualities & Vulnerabilities • Treating Patients • Patients with Chronic Pain • Empathy, Compassion, Codependence? • Impacts on patients and physicians • Getting Help? 1 1/26/2016 The presenting Complaint is delivered by the patient What is a ‘Good’ patient? ◦ Severity of symptoms correlates with an overtly diagnosable disorder ◦ Emotionally intact ◦ Compliant and doesn’t challenge ◦ Grateful i.e. – a good patient is a good fit with the Acute medical model Oreskovich Patient with Chronic Pain Complex Fearful Dependent Unhappy ‘Anger’ Have not responded to or are made worse by pharmacotherapy Attempted rescue by MD makes it worse Patient with Complex Chronic Pain is psychologically vulnerable and subject to strong emotions…. It is not surprising that physicians respond to these patients with emotions of their own. 2 1/26/2016 Caring too much? We go into the health care professions so that we can care for people We don’t like pain Physicians who over-identify with patients and who have unresolved rescue fantasies are especially vulnerable Mirror Neurons ‘I feel your pain’ • Mirror neurons connect us to one another
    [Show full text]
  • Codependency and Countertransference
    Darlene Lancer, MFT [email protected] Does our Codependency Help or Harm our Clients? Codependency and Countertransference Given the prevalence of codependency in America – estimated as high as 85% - it’s a disorder that shouldn’t be overlooked in clients, irrespective of their diagnosis or presenting problem. Psychotherapists can also be codependent. In fact, I suggest that some codependency is prerequisite to becoming a therapist, and perhaps even essential to become a good one – for who else would take such pleasure in focusing on helping others – often at the expense of their own needs. Whether a therapist’s codependency helps or harms the therapy turns on self- awareness. This article highlights how codependency affects treatment. Definition and Cause of Codependency “A codependent is a person who can’t function from his or her innate self, and instead, organizes thinking and behavior around a substance, process, or other person(s).” (Lancer, 2012, p. 30) The causes lie in deficient mirroring and attunement to feelings and needs and in family dynamics characterized by denial and dysfunctional rules, boundaries, and communication. For survival, children learn to focus on and accommodate others. They deny or suppress feelings and needs and rely on control for self-regulation. Doubt, fear, guilt, and anxiety characterize their inner world. Attempts to individuate aren’t supporte d, and their shame, low self-esteem, and a weak sense of self continue into adulthood – sometimes hidden behind a strong personality and/or inflated self -esteem. Common Symptoms The occurrence and severity of codependent traits vary and overlap to make close relationships difficult.
    [Show full text]
  • Overcoming Codependency”
    Brad Hambrick © 2016 “Overcoming Codependency” Overcoming Codependency Presentation By: Brad Hambrick, M.Div., Th.M. Pastor of Counseling, The Summit Church Similar resources available at www.bradhambrick.com 1 Brad Hambrick © 2016 “Overcoming Codependency” “Overcoming Codependency” Table of Contents Introduction: What Can I Hope to Get from this Seminar? ……………………………………………… 3 Where Do I Begin? ………………………………………………………………………….. 4 What is G4? …………………...…………………………………………………………….. 5 The 9 Steps of G4 …………………………………………………………………………… 6 Chapter 1. “I’m Tired of All the Drama… Exhausted!” PREPARE yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually to face your suffering ………………… 7 Chapter 2 “I’ve Been So Busy I Haven’t Been Paying Attention” ACKNOWLEDGE the specific history and realness of my suffering …………….………………. 15 Chapter 3. “What Is the Impact of Living In Brokenness?” UNDERSTAND the impact of my suffering ………………………………….…………………... 23 Chapter 4. “The Toxic Scripts of Dysfunction” LEARN MY SUFFERING STORY which I used to make sense of my experience ….…………… 34 Chapter 5. “Starting a Healthy Relationship with God” MOURN the wrongness of what happened and receive God’s comfort ………………………… 46 Chapter 6. “Narratively Resetting Before Relationally Re-Engaging” LEARN MY GOSPEL STORY by which God gives meaning to my experience ………………… 51 Chapter 7. “Functionally Relating Within Dysfunction” IDENTIFY GOALS that allow me to combat the impact of my suffering ……………………….. 62 Chapter 8. “Contentment as I Continue to Grow” PERSEVERE in the new life and identity to which God has called me ………………………….. 74 Chapter 9. “From Codependency to Salt and Light” STEWARD all of my life for God’s glory …………………….…………………………………. 82 Appendices: A. How to Develop a Safety Plan ……………………………………………………………… 86 B. How to Conduct an Effective Intervention ………………………………………………… 89 C.
    [Show full text]
  • The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis
    International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8 ORIGINAL ARTICLE The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis Ingrid Bacon 1 & Elizabeth McKay2 & Frances Reynolds3 & Anne McIntyre 3 # The Author(s) 2018 Abstract Codependency is a complex and debatable concept, which has been used over the years by mental health professionals to inform their practices. Researchers have attempted to identify the main problems associated with codependency; however, their evidence is still inconclusive. This is the first time that interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) has been used to explore the lived experience of codependency from the perspective of self-identified codepen- dents. Eight participants recruited from local support groups for codependency in the UK, offered in-depth information about their subjective experiences, and embedded in their lifeworld. Data was gathered through interviews and a visual method. The shared experience of codependency was portrayed by the participants as a complex but tangible multidimensional psychosocial problem in their lives. It incorporated three interlinked experiences: a lack of clear sense of self, an enduring pattern of extreme, emotional, relational, and occupational imbalance, and an attribution of current problems in terms of parental abandonment and control in childhood. Keywords Codependency. Lived experience . Phenomenology. Self . Childhood * Ingrid Bacon [email protected] Elizabeth McKay [email protected]
    [Show full text]