by
Sally Perricone
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OPENING ACT ONE
SCENE ONE - FRANKIE'S CLUB
Frankie walks on stage in a black tuxedo with his mobile phone on "Facepage". He also has full face makeup.
FRANKIE All my new friends... Accept accept accept! Ooh, no decline. Don't you just love this stuff? It's a voyeur's paradise. Ah, funny cat video, self help quote of the day, sad singles ads - as if he's really single - and oh, feet by the pool on holiday. Really, feet? Some people will just post anything.
Stardust storms onto the stage, half in drag costume. She is angry, outraged.
STARDUST Frankie, this costume? These shoes? My high arches?
Stardust holds her foot up so that Frankie can see the shoes. Frankie looks, takes a picture of Stardust's foot. He then posts the pic.
FRANKIE Post!
STARDUST You bitch! I don't know why I bother! (She storms off) Tag me!
FRANKIE Now where was I...that's right. Getting all moral. Talking about how we're all getting obsessed with the cyber world and forgetting to live and feel the physical world. (He puts his phone on a table and walks away from it) At some point we have to put these things down and really talk, right?
Phone bings. Frankie freezes, he is in an agony of
indecision. He signals "just a moment" to the audience and rushes back to the phone compulsively.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) Like, like, like, like, like. Oh, sad face. Ok I'm turning it off. I'd like to tell you a story about my two best friends - Kate and Jason. And how Facepage got them into a bit of a pickle. I didn't know it then, but this is how it all started.
Jason walks onto the stage.
JASON Where's Kate?
FRANKIE You've just missed her - probably a good thing really! She styled the guys really well tonight, though. You take...
Frankie waves his arms over Jason's styled suit.
FRANKIE(CONT'D) ...this for granted. She does do you well, you know. Better than I used to do you in college, I hate to admit.
Stardust happens to be walking past at that moment, and gasps as he thinks he's heard a bit of juicy gossip.
JASON My clothes, Stardust.
Stardust makes a face and walks away. Frankie goes behind the bar and starts to pour a couple of drinks for them both.
FRANKIE Sit down. It's been too long between drinks for us!
JASON Well mate, you spend all your time with my wife these days. Our pub & footy nights are long gone with you opting for coffee and shopping sprees with Kate. I don't even get a look in! I don't get a look in with Kate either, as a matter of
fact.
FRANKIE Green doesn't suit you. You're my mate, and Kate's my BFF.
JASON One question...Cocktails over beer - really?
FRANKIE "Cock-tails" - let's just think about that word for a minute. (Pause) Mate, I love you, I love Kate. Take her out, talk. Show her your feelings. Spice it up a bit. Write her some love letters, take her dancing!
JASON Dancing? Pfft. She's seen all my moves.
FRANKIE Well let's see if we can't teach an old dog a new trick.
Jason holds out his hand.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) Ooh, I'll even let you lead.
The men embrace then Frankie stops.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) Well look at you, aren't you a regular Fred.
JASON Come on Ginger.
The men dance and compliment each others style.
FRANKIE Nice moves...perhaps all you've needed was the right partner.
SONG: PENNED WITH INK
FRANKIE (CONT'D)
[Singing]
A story in show, form told in song, done the right way, can be lot's of fun.
JASON See how "Gen X" can loose their way. Keeping up with the lingo of the day. Gen Y has it covered or so they think.
JASON AND FRANKIE Nothing say's I love you more...when it's penned with INK!
Frankie talks and Jason exits.
FRANKIE So that's Jason. Hmm, cute. Now you need to meet Kate!
As Frankie talks he removes his tux coat and bow tie. Kate starts to talk when he finishes his line and he walks over to the booth as she talks.
KATE (INSIDE BOOTH BEHIND CURTAIN) These are so beautiful. Oh, what colours are on point? Frankie?
Kate pulls back the curtain with a swish. She's got a dress on with tags poking out, over the top of her active wear.
KATE (CONT'D) I think blue.
She poses. Frankie gets his phone ready for a photo.
FRANKIE Tuck shop arms, quick.
KATE Oh, right.
Kate grabs at the flesh on her arms to make them appear thinner and smiles for the photo.
FRANKIE Smile darling, that's gorgeous.
Kate looks in pain, obviously uncomfortable in the dress; she whines like a child.
KATE But it's itchy. Quick take the picture - now!
Frankie takes sequence photos, then looks at his phone, and closes the curtain on Kate.
FRANKIE There's got to be one here I can work with...(he's scrolling through the photos)
KATE (CALLING OUT) Put a filter on it - Valencia! No, Crema!
FRANKIE And....Post! Hurry hurry hurry I need espresso!!
Frankie continues to scroll on his phone and suddenly comes across something that makes him gasp. Kate instantly sticks her head out of the curtain, and then walks out of the booth, dressed in activewear.
KATE What?
FRANKIE Oh Kate. It's nothing I'm sure.
KATE I'll be the judge of nothing!
Kate playfully grabs the phone and looks. She gasps in horror. The mood suddenly changes.
KATE (CONT'D) Jason? (pause) I can't be here right now. I've got to go home.
Kate runs offstage, Frankie looks after her.
FRANKIE Lucky she wore her active wear.
SCENE TWO - KATE'S HOUSE
Kate storms in and throws herself on the couch.
KATE
I'll kill him! No I won't, that's too good for him. How could he do this to me? Ha, why not me? It happens all the time. The humiliation of it. I have to do something or respond somehow. What if the kids see this? I'll have to block them. I'd call if they'd answer their phones. I'll message them now. Still, that doesn't stop the problem - now all of my '200' best friends know! Maybe I could make him up a profile and have him pledge his undying love begging me for forgiveness. He'd never know. He hates this social media stuff. That way I keep face, dumping him for all my 200 best friends to see.
The phone beeps, interrupts her thoughts.
KATE (CONT'D) Ooh a friend request! (as she "accepts") Yes! Now where was I...oh, that's right. Dump him on Facepage for all my 200 'and One' best friends to see.
No-one treats me like that!
The spot light turns to the door. Kate is sitting in the dark with her chair facing the door so when Jason enters, Kate is the first thing he sees. Jason comes through the door.
JASON Hi darling, why are you sitting there like that? Did someone die?
KATE No, not someone, something.
JASON What are you talking about?
KATE Just our marriage.
Jason looks surprised then goes into defence mode.
JASON Have you and Roxy been into the grape juice?
KATE Don't bring my sister into this, and no, I have not had anything to drink...but I'm gonna!
Kate heads for the door and grabs her coat off the coat stand.
JASON Hey, where are you going?
KATE I just told you. See how you never listen to me. Let me spell it out for you. I'm going to get 'AP'!
JASON AP?
KATE 'Absolutely Plastered'. I can't believe I had to find out through Facepage friends.
JASON Facepage friends? You think these people are your friends. Do you really care what she said or what he said - really? Kate these people aren't real. When was the last time you caught up with Debbie from Texas and had a coffee? I know! Never! And you know why I know? Because you've never been to Texas. So why did you spend two minutes of your life adding her as a friend?
KATE That's how little you know. De-bo-rah happens to be Janet's best friends cousin.
JASON I'm 'soz' [sarcastically]. Didn't know you were so close to
Janet. Who 'BTW' lives where?
KATE This is just like you changing the subject. They told me. Them, all of them...and not you...and I see you everyday.
Jason is confused and frustrated. He can see he's not going to get anywhere in the conversation.
JASON I...I...I...got nothing right now. I'm going to the gym. We'll talk when you've calmed down.
Jason walks out and Kate throws a cushion and screams in frustration after him.
SONG: SHE SAID THEY SAID
KATE She said that you've been round a few times, Said that you've been telling me lies, She said that you've been at her side, She said that its more than a one night. Your boots been under another bed, Another pillow been resting your head, You say you're working late earning more bread, That's what you said, what you said, what you said. She said that you've been driving her wild She said that you've been there night after night. She said come the morning light. I'm still none the wiser.
ENSEMBLE She said, I said, he said, you said, they said, this said, think you better stop said. They said, you said, why said, can't said, this said, who said, think you better change said. She said, I said, he said, we said, they said, he said, think you
better stop said. They said, you said, why said, can't said, him said, instead think we better change said.
KATE So when we're you going to tell me, Did it enter your head, Now I'm hurt and angry all because of what she said, Don't you mind what you do, Don't you mind what you say, Didn't have the guts to tell me are these the games you play. I told you last time, things between us had to change, Now I'm out of my mind, Cause you accused me instead, instead. Oh, woe, she said that you've been driving her wild, She said that you've been there night after night, She said come the morning light, I'm still none the wiser.
ENSEMBLE She said, I said, he said, you said, they said, this said, think you better stop said. They said, you said, why said, can't said, this said, who said, think you better change said. She said, I said, he said, we said, they said, he said, think you better stop said they said. You said, why said, can't said, him said, instead think we better change said.
SCENE THREE- KATE'S HOUSE
Facetime call from Roxy to Kate. Roxy in the dance studio, stretching.
ROXY (ON SCREEN) Well, I'm back into it after the girls. I've just been shopping for new bras. You can have my old ones, they're small.
KATE Are you happy now, have you finished?
ROXY (ON SCREEN) Well, I don't know if I'll ever be finished. I'm like a blank canvas.
KATE That has been drawn over a few times.
ROXY (ON SCREEN) Now, before therapy I would have taken that as smug or mean.
KATE Seriously, I am really happy for all three of you. I think my marriage is over.
ROXY(ON SCREEN) What?
Stretching and reaching.
KATE My marriage is finished! Ka-put! Done!
ROXY(ON SCREEN) Why, what happened?
Stretching and reaching.
ROXY (CONT'D) Nearly got it. Ahh, there you are.
Roxy's arm appears back on screen with a glass of wine.
KATE My life is falling apart. What the hell am I supposed to do?
ROXY(ON SCREEN) Well nothing rash darling. What did he do?
KATE It's all so clichŽ... He's having an affair!
Roxy loses balance off the beam and falls out of sight.
KATE (CONT'D) Rox, are you ok?
Roxy raises her glass showing that she didn't spill any, then she looks straight into the camera.
ROXY(ON SCREEN) Classes are finished. I'm coming over with the rest of this bottle. Where are the kids?
KATE They're both going over to Ma's place this afternoon.
ROXY(ON SCREEN) Hold on girl. Get off the phone. Don't change your status. I'll be there asap!
KATE Leave now!
Roxy grabs the whole bottle of wine and hangs up. Screen is blacked out. A Skype call comes through from Frankie. Kate answers.
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) Are you OK?
KATE No...(whining)are you alone?
Kate blows her nose into a tissue.
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) Yes, its just you and me, sugar puss.
In the background a half-naked young man with a towel wrapped around his waist walks past.
KATE Frankie!
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) What? You look awful.
KATE I know.
Right now I hate men!
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) Ahh, me too. Good men are so hard, hard, HARD to find. Trying to find a classy guy is like trying to find a size 13 shoe that makes my foot look petit. But this just isn't adding up...Jason loves you. Come to the club. We'll talk. Hugs N Kisses, Frankie-out.
The screen blacks out and Kate lays on her bed crying. There is a loud knock at the door. Roxy enters the room, slaps Kate on the backside grabs her suitcase from the top of the wardrobe.
ROXY I've got an idea. I - you - we need girl time. Let's go away - Dr Dick's treat - he'd want it that way.
KATE What? I just can't up and leave. What about the kids?
Roxy is going through Kate's wardrobe, inspecting dresses.
ROXY Ma will look after the kids. She'll love it.
KATE I don't know if Ma's really that keen to have them anymore. Maybe I'm just imagining things.
ROXY Ah you think too much. She's fine. What about this?
Roxy holds up a flimsy negligee. Kate makes a face.
KATE What about you? You can't just leave the dance studio.
ROXY School holidays darling..and my kids are off with Dr Dick and his
foetus in some Pacific Five-Star whatever!
KATE It's nice how Richard takes the kids somewhere tropical when he has them for holidays.
ROXY He's just acclimatising to the warm weather in preparation for his eternity in hell.
Roxy changing the subject.
ROXY (CONT'D) Anyway, this is not about my divorce. This is about your marriage...and we need some sister time.
Roxy packing Kate's suitcase and singing.
SONG: HOLIDAY
[Singing]
KATE Staring out the window, virtual display. 200 friends on Facepage, haven't been out in days. Text-ing and Like-ing. I need to get away.
ROXY Rainy weather it doesn't bother me, all my time in bed. Love me, shake me, move me, take me all the way. Holiday.
KATE AND ROXY Sea shells, by the sea shore. Sea shells by the sea shore. Holiday. Ah-ha, holiday.
ROXY Jumping jack flash. Feeling the sun down on my back.
KATE Taking it easy, just laying back. I love this time away. Holiday.
KATE AND ROXY Mmm, holiday.
Roxy closes the suitcase.
ROXY There, all packed.
Facetime call comes through, it says Ma calling. Roxy and Kate make a face to each other. They silently decide whether or not to answer. Roxy doesn't want to, Kate does. Kate wins.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) I just got a cold shiver like someone walking over my grave. And then I thought of you, Kate!
KATE Oh, good. Actually, I , well I ...
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) I know all about it Kate. Debbie from Texas tagged me.
KATE Oh my god. This isn't happening.
Roxy is violently gesturing for Kate to ask Gloria to take the kids.
KATE (CONT'D) Roxy's got something to ask you.
She turns the phone on Roxy who quickly changes her demeanor, and smiles sweetly.
ROXY Oh hi Ma! How are you? Oh, are they highlights?
Gloria pats her hair.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Why yes they are, Roxy, thanks for noticing. Not like anyone else notices around here.
She casts a glance over her shoulder where we can see Father asleep in the background.
ROXY Ma, Kate really needs your help.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Oh, well, of course, I've got the hairdresser's number here somewhere.
Roxy looks at Kate critically.
ROXY I will get that number from you later. But just now there's something else. Can you take Kate's kids for a couple of days while we go have some girl time?
GLORIA (ON SCREEN) Two girls out licking their wounds. Have I taught you girls nothing? You can't run away from things. You have to stand and face them. Otherwise you'll be all the time running. That could get pretty exhausting don't you think?
ROXY So will you take the kids?
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Well far be it from me to tell you anything. I'm just saying, I think by running, you create more distance. I say no more. I have my own problems.
ROXY So that's a yes?
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) (Falsely, forced) Love too! Of course! Love them to bits! And how long will you be gone?
Roxy walks over so that she and Kate together are talking to Gloria on the screen.
ROXY Not too long, just time to clear
her head.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Well that's nice. But don't stay too long. You know it's better to face your problems than run away. You can't let sleeping dogs lie.
KATE Speaking of sleeping, Ma, why is Daddy -
Gloria interrupts and leans to that she's blocking the view of Daddy asleep in the background.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Okay, gotta go, kids are fine, call me when you get back, I mean the minute you get back Kate, mwah, mwah. Bye bye bye -
Gloria hangs up quickly.
ROXY Done.
KATE But I'll need my little black dress. I'll have to go to the club and get it back off Frankie.
ROXY What's Frankie doing with your LBD?
KATE Really. You have to ask? Actually it's quite a funny story. He...
ROXY (Interrupting) Just go and get the dress. I'll go do, I'll book, I'll pack, and I'll meet you later at the club.
Roxy heads towards the door.
KATE Just make sure it's somewhere warm!
Kate follows Roxy out the door.
SCENE FOUR - FRANKIE'S NIGHTCLUB
Props stage with red velvet drapes. Enter Frankie, on stage for his drag queen show at his cabaret night club. The club is full of very interesting and varied characters.
SONG: DANCE
[Singing]
FRANKIE I heard it was the place to go, The music soft and low, I saw your eyes looking over me. I suddenly felt alone, The music way down low, Electric lights came down and there you were in front of me. Dance. You said dance. You said dance. You said dance. We danced, around the floor. We danced, a little more. We danced, we danced, we danced, we danced. We danced into the night, The stars were burning bright, Your lips pressed against mine, And then we danced some more. Your eyes locked on mine, And we were moving in time, I felt your hands caress all around my sole. You said dance. Oh, you said dance. You said dance, you said dance. We danced, around the floor, We danced, a little more, We danced, we danced, we danced, we danced. We danced. We danced, we danced. We danced. We danced, we danced. We danced. We danced, we danced, we danced.
Frankie bows for his crowd, smiles at Kate as she walks over to the stage.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) Hello Sugar Puss.
Frankie looks her up and down. Poor you!...but your hairs holding up great. Looks like you could do with a good stiff... (Frankie calls out to the bar) Paulie! Two orgasms over here, pronto.
Turning back to Kate.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) Now darling, spill. Tell me everything you know...and don't spare any gories.
KATE Frankie, I'm not staying. Roxy and I are heading off for some "girl time". I've just come to get the dress I lent you.
Frankie pauses to think for a moment.
FRANKIE Good to see you ready to get back on the horse...or, is it back in the saddle. Anyway, either sounds fabulous.
KATE Frankie! The LBD.
FRANKIE What does it look like?
KATE It's little...and black. You've only got one of my dresses, don't you?
Frankie turns away slightly.
FRANKIE Mmm. Yes...just the one [cunningly]. Wait here, I'll get it.
He stops and looks her up and down then throws his pink boa around her neck.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) There. Now you look a bit more sjhooshed. Anyway, make sure you have both orgasms before I get back, alright?
KATE Good grief, I couldn't have two!
FRANKIE Oh, poor you. Maybe you have been married too long...just saying.
Frankie exits. Kate sits alone, sad.
KATE Oh, how did I get here?
The night club goes quiet and a spot light shines on Kate as she begins to sing.
SONG: OUT OF THE CAST
[Singing]
KATE (CONT'D) Looking through the program where your name was supposed to be. Now I'm playing the perfect part, but your not playing opposite me. Rehearsals just ain't the same, but it's the same choreography. You said it was just a play for you. It seems so real to me. Your no longer in the play, and I'm standing alone on the stage. You had the part. You knew it by heart, and then you leave me. Your no longer in the cast, and I'm standing alone in the dark. You held me tight. I'd look in your eyes, and then you kiss me.
[music changes at 1:25]
Jason enters the club and a change of mood and music happen. The dancers (ensemble)pair up and Tango as Jason sings to Kate
SONG: THE BOMB
[Singing]
JASON It was a hot long night, when we had that fight. I knew my love was strong, after the fight we had that night. I knew I couldn't be wrong. Talk to me, talk to me...cause you're the only one. Don't you know, don't you, don't you know. Baby you're the bomb...cause you turn me on, cause you turn me on, on, on. Come to me, come to me...cause you're the only one. Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know. Baby you're the bomb...cause you turn me on, cause you turn me on, on, on. Come to me, come to me...cause you're the only one. Don't you know, don't you know.
[music break 1:07]
Jason extends his hand to Kate. They tango and talk.
[Spoken]
JASON (CONT'D) I thought I'd find you here.
KATE You just got lucky - cos I'm about to leave.
JASON Kate, I don't know exactly what your "friends" have told you - actually what have your "friends" told you?
KATE Where there's smoke, Jason, there's always fire. (She realises something.) Where did you learn how to dance?
Jason tango's her across the room.
JASON Well, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
KATE I've seen the picture. You with her.
JASON Oh, so you know? It was supposed to be a secret.
KATE It's all over Facepage.
JASON No, it can't be...
KATE Was it worth it?
JASON Well, you tell me. (trying to be charming and sexy)
KATE Is this a joke to you?
JASON Come on, it's just a bit of fun.
KATE This dance is over!
Kate pulls away from Jason. Jason continues to sing 'You're the Bomb'.
[Singing]
JASON You're the one, you're the one, So baby don't you run. You're the one, you're the one, So baby don't you run. You're the, you're the, So baby don't you run. You're the one, you're the one. You're the bomb. cause you turn me on, cause you turn me on, on, on.
Come to me, come to me. You're the only one. Don't you know. Your the bomb!
KATE Go home, Jason.
JASON I give up.
Jason exits in frustration. Kate alone on stage and continues to sing; Out of the Cast.
SONG: OUT OF THE CAST
[Singing]
KATE Your no longer in the cast, and I'm standing alone in the dark. You held me tight, I'd look in your eyes, and then you kissed me. Faces in all the scenes, cause that is all I see. I'm reading all of my lines to you when the light shines down on me. Stranger that dances with me, I don't even know where his from. All I know is your not here with me, but the show it must go on. Your no longer in the play, and I'm standing alone on the stage. You had the part, you knew it by heart, and then you leave me. Your no longer in the cast, and I'm standing alone in the dark. You held me tight, I'd look in your eye's, and then you'd kiss me.
Frankie enters the club with black dress in hand.
FRANKIE Here, you are darling.
Frankie gives Kate a big hug and the dress.
KATE Jason was just here. It's over. He basically admitted to the whole damn thing. I can't believe he
didn't tell me he wasn't happy.
FRANKIE Are you sure he didn't try? Or does he need to post it before you listen? Kate you need to work out what's real. You can't just delete your marriage...its not that simple. Are you as attached to this marriage as you are to your Facepage? Just saying.
KATE Roxy is making me go on a holiday with her.
FRANKIE Make, schmake! Sure you're not just running away?
Frankie changes tack, he's a bit sad for Kate after all.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) Maybe you do need to go and be you for a bit. You know you're a MILF!
Kate is bewildered by the comment, uncertain of its meaning.
KATE MILF? What's that?
Frankie whispers in her ear.
KATE (CONT'D) Mother,I'd,like,to funk?
FRANKIE Close enough.
KATE No I'm not!
FRANKIE Yes you are. You're funking with Jason now. You're funking with me. Sooner or later every body get's funked. They funk with your head and you're just getting in first. So before you funk up completely...turn off the computer...go on your trip...and
send me a post card. Mmwa, mmwa. We will all catch up on your return. Remember bring home a tan, not an STD.Then you'd really be funked!
Roxy enters the club with her suitcases.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) Speaking of which....hello darling...you are looking fabulous! (falsely)
ROXY Oh love you too, Frankie (sarcastically)
Roxy blows him a kiss which he catches and then throws on the floor and stomps on it.
ROXY (CONT'D) Well...I looked a hell of a lot better before Dr Dick and his botox injections left! Now I have to rely on my natural assets. But YOU are looking younger than ever. Aahhhh! You're still friends with Dr Dick!
FRANKIE I'm a hairy man in a dress. I need Dick more than you do darling!
ROXY Kate, are you ready to go? Everything's done. I am an online genius, and we've already got 51 likes, and its only an hour since I posted the destination!
KATE So where are we going?
ROXY Africa!!!
END OF ACT ONE
INTERMISSION
ACT TWO
SCENE ONE - AFRICAN NIGHTCLUB
OPEN - "AFRICA" MUSIC.
Kate and Roxy enter the nightclub and look around - Kate, hesitant, Roxy, excited.
KATE You know you didn't pack me any pajamas.
Kate follows Roxy around the club. Roxy is on the prowl.
ROXY The lion won't be sleeping tonight.
Kate makes a face.
ROXY (CONT'D) If you don't make the most of this holiday, you're going to regret it - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon -
Kate interrupts suddenly. She's made a decision.
KATE You're right. We're here to get away.
ROXY That's the spirit. Where's the cocktail list?
Roxy glances through the cocktail list. Kate is looking around at the crowd.
KATE You're kidding, right? These all look like they could be the kids friends. In fact I'm pretty sure that one's had a sleep-over at our house.
ROXY Fluffy duck, Black Russian...oh, listen to this one..."Out of Africa". I'm sorry, but not while I'm 'in' Africa.
Roxy closes the list and tosses it to one side.
ROXY (CONT'D) What we need is a Cherry Sunday!
KATE Yes, but they clearly don't have them in Africa.
ROXY Yes they do.
Roxy grabs a WAITER who is walking past, grabs his book out of his hands and begins to write on his pad.
ROXY (CONT'D) Here, this will be the best cocktail you'll ever make. Start us off with four.
She hands the pad back to him with a wink. She takes her Amex gold card from her purse and slips it seductively into his pocket, giving it a little pat (very inappropriately). Kate is rolling her eyes in the background.
KATE Dick's card?
ROXY Of course darling. He would want it that way. Run along gorgeous.
Roxy grins evilly, as the Waiter turns to leave Roxy mimes cupping his butt. Kate laughs at her and relaxes.
KATE I can't wait, I haven't had a Cherry Sunday since...
ROXY Since you were busy losing your...
They both laugh, remembering. Roxy's phone bings.
ROXY (CONT'D) Ah, a text from my darlings.(she
reads). Right, I see. The "foetus" has a new string of pearls, the children have been doing scenic tours in a helicopter all afternoon, and they've enjoyed jet-skiing so much that Dr Dick's bought them two jet-ski's to bring home. Well clearly, Dr Dick hasn't thought that one through. Guess who's getting a brand new waterfront home! She gets a string of pearls, I get the crown jewels! (She calls out to the whole club) Cherry Sundays for everybody!!! Cos Dr Dick would want it that way!
Roxy grabs the nearest guy and begins to sing.
SONG: RIGHT RECIPE
[Singing]
ROXY You're cooking tonight, We've got the candlelight. Now you tell me you're through, If you can't give me love, I'll take a spoonful. If you can't commit, I'll stuff it in my pocket, I'll wait a bit. I'll wait for the rest of my life, Drop some love in a cup, I'll eat it all up. Ooh, tell me it's true, I'll take your love, by the spoonful. You got the right recipe, A spoonful is all that I need. You're like hot-chocolate, When I get close, you make me melt. I thought you felt it too, Just give it up, and take a spoonful. I saw you tonight, Cooking something special, is it mine. Give me some sort of a sign, Dip it in your sugar,
I'll eat it all up. Ooh, tell me it's true, I'll take your love, by the spoonful. You got the right recipe, A spoonful is all that I need. Pour your love on me, I like the way you make me feel, Sugar and honey, I wanna taste, the fantasy. Ooh, tell me it's true, I'll take your love, by the spoonful. You got the right recipe, A spoonful is all I need. A spoonful is all that I need, A spoonful, Is all I need.
Roxy exits the nightclub with the dancers. Music continues in the background. Kate is approached by another male looking interested. Kate nervously slurps cocktail. Kate looks at her wedding ring, puts it to her mouth hurriedly, sucks the ring off, and puts it in her bag.
YOUNG MAN Well hi. You come here often?
KATE Do you mean Africa?
Kate and Young Man pause and look confused.
KATE (CONT'D) How long have you been alive? I mean, how long ago did you arrive?
YOUNG MAN I live here. I'm in my gap year helping build houses for the poor.
KATE Oh God. Of course you are.
YOUNG MAN I'm Brad.
He offers his hand. Kate pauses not knowing what to say.
KATE That's a nice name.
YOUNG MAN If you like the sound of that, you should hear my number.
KATE Uh huh.
They both cringe. Awkward pause. Kate goes to pour herself more cocktail, but changes her mind and puts the straw in jug instead and drinks from that.
YOUNG MAN Will your friend be alright?
KATE She's my sister. She'll be fine. I'm more worried about your friends. So, uh, are you going to stay?
YOUNG MAN Do you mean in Africa? No, I'll be heading home at the end of the year.
KATE No, no. I meant do you wanna go somewhere a little quieter?
YOUNG MAN Sure.
The pair head out of the nightclub. Night Club goes black. Kate and young outside under big moon. Brad puts his arms around Kate and she freaks out.
KATE Sorry, this just isn't me.
Brad kisses her hand.
YOUNG MAN Don't you think a moon like that deserves some attention? Stay, Kate.
The moon is big and the couple stroll hand in hand to Kate's African resort bedroom.
SONG: STAY
[Singing]
KATE Thank god I made it home before it got late. Just be quiet as you shut the gate. Now I creep up the stairs. Somehow I think you don't really care. Love is like a roller coaster, up and down the tracks. Who knows how fast it's going. Who knows how long it will last. When the moon is glowing in the night, and the stars are shinning down so bright. You said stay. Yeah, you said stay. Different seasons, their changes, they're hot, cool, then cold. Is this how our love is going? Has this love grown too old? Don't let it stray, don't let it drift away again. Take these hands of mine, let's go back in time, let's go back in time. When the moon is glowing in the night. When the stars were shining down so bright. You said stay. Yeah, you said stay.
After Kate sings and they dance and kiss their way in the moonlight back at her hut. Kate wants the lights out and claps twice at the light to turn them off. Kate wants to see her in the light and claps the lights twice to turn them on. Kate slaps his bottom twice to turn them back off. Lights go on and off, on and off, until all is quiet. Kate claps the lights on and the young man is gone. She lays awake for a second and then passes out.
SCENE TWO - AFRICAN RESORT BEDROOM
Roxy walks in still in her nightclub clothes and opens the blinds.
ROXY
Wake up sleepy head. Rise and shine to another beautiful African day!
KATE Ooh, my head!
ROXY Oh my goodness. Who was a bad girl last night?
Kate rolls over and then sits up straight.
KATE No, No.
Looking under the sheets.
KATE (CONT'D) No, not me. See still in my clothes. I did try though, but it didn't happen. He was so shy.
Roxy laughs and jumps on the bed beside her.
ROXY I was talking about me...but do tell!
KATE A lady says nothing.
ROXY Well I'm no lady...so it won't be a quiet breakfast after all.
Kate goes to get up from her bed.
KATE Ohhhhh, those Cherry Sunday's!
Holds her head in pain. Kate and Roxy look at each other and laugh. The girls dress behind screens.
KATE (CONT'D) Takes me back to 18. All I needed after a big night was a can of coke and meat pie.
ROXY Mmm, and a pack of ciggie's (and aside) and a pregnancy test. (to Kate) Remember when everything was so simple? Just saying.
SONG: CHERRY SUNDAY
[Singing]
KATE Cherry Sunday on my side. Bluer Monday catch a ride. Season pass to the sun. I got my radar programmed for fun.
ROXY Feel like a dreamer chasing the stars. I'd like to visit Venus or Mars. Rainbow chaser is how I feel. Think I'll go fishing throw me a feel.
KATE AND ROXY You by my side, make me feel so right. You by my side, make me feel so right.
Kate and Roxy have finished dressing and hug.
ROXY I love us. Come on, lets go out and get an African...suntan.
KATE I'm ju-u-ust going online to check any messages.
ROXY What? I thought this was a break! You are hopeless girl. Well, I'm not hanging around to watch you do that. I need something in my stomach.
Kate grabs her phone whilst Roxy is speaking.
KATE Ok. You go ahead. I'll be there soon.
ROXY Yeah, Yeah...[frustrated] Perhaps a hair of the dog is what I
need. See-ya.
She pulls a hair from Kate's head and turns and leave in mild disgust.
KATE Ow!!!
Facetime call from Gloria is displayed on the screen. Gloria starts talking before Kate gets a chance to say or do anything further.
GLORIA (ON SCREEN) Kate, when are you coming home? The kids are lovely, fine, wonderful ...but that boy of yours is never off the Xbox and its not that I mind at all, it's your father, yesterday he missed Antiques Roadshow and you know he never misses Antiques Roadshow, and I don't think the kids realised but I could tell he was upset.
Gloria inclines her head, indicating Father fast asleep in the chair again behind Gloria.
KATE Ma, is Daddy still taking long naps through the day? Did you go to the Doctors?
Gloria turns and looks at her husband and smiles falsely.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) He's fine!
KATE Ma, you're scaring me. What's wrong with Daddy?
Gloria looks a bit guilty.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Oh! There's nothing wrong with him. Just a little mix up on my part really. I had been giving him one of my night sedatives with his morning juice instead of his vitamins. Look at the bottles. They're practically identical.
Gloria holds up the bottles so her daughter can see on the camera. They are clearly different.
KATE So why is he sleeping now?
Gloria is defensive.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Heaven forbid I should have some time to myself. Between your Grandmother and your father, I don't get a minute's peace. Just yesterday I had to rush to Grandma. She thought she done her hip. It turns out she was just wearing different shoes, a flat and a heel. All that way - for shoes, Kate!
KATE Ma, you can't keep drugging Daddy!
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Don't take that tone with me! Your friend Frankie is right. You are MILF!
KATE What! Ma what are you talking about? What do you think a MILF is?
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) I'm not dead, Kate. It means "menopause is looming friend"...and with your mood swings Kate...
KATE Ma, that is sooo not what it means. Oh, and I've been meaning to tell you, 'LOL' means 'laugh-out-loud', not 'Lots-of-Love'!
Gloria looks panic stricken.
KATE (CONT'D) Ma, you've gone white!
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Oh, Kate I have to go! I need to call Rosa. I put the funeral notice in the paper for our condolences and it's not gonna read
right. I wrote "Teddy will be dearly missed...LOL...Gloria and the family".
KATE Ma! Why on earth did you abbreviate lots of love?
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) They charge by the letter, Kate. We are on a fixed income. Anyway he was a bit of a so and so...
Kate and Gloria both cross themselves and say -
KATE AND GLORIA May he rest in peace.
A facetime call is coming in from Frankie.
KATE Ma, I gotta go, say hi to Daddy.
GLORIA(ON SCREEN) Bye darling. Enjoy your trip. Come home soon!
They hang up and Kate answers Frankie's call. He is clearly in the middle of a beauty treatment, with face mask and hair towel etc. He has a fancy drink with an extra long straw on the table next to him. He is sucking on the straw as she answers.
KATE Frankie! Hi there... (She indicates herself.) See! Just a tan!
Frankie pouts and looks uncomfortable.
KATE (CONT'D) Dish. Frankie what do know? It must be good for you to work out the time differences.
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) Well it's not that I like to gossip.
KATE. What? Frankie what?
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN)
It's just that I texted with Jason last night. I can't believe you've run off to Africa and you didn't even tell him why!
KATE I think he has a pretty good idea.
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) No - because I only sent him the picture last night. Now the good news is, he said, he can explain. (Pauses and smiles fakely)
KATE I'VE ALREADY GOT A HEADACHE! Frankie... DISH.
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) Well you're probs not gonna like the fine print. The woman in the photograph...is...it's Roxy.
KATE What?
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) But listen - he says he can explain! Explain, Kate. See, he says (reading the text from Jason) "It's Roxy. I can explain. Don't tell Kate, call me first."
Suddenly Frankie looks a bit guilty, because he's obviously called Kate first.
KATE. I have to go. I'll talk to you later.
FRANKIE(ON SCREEN) (Panicking) Don't tell him I -
Kate cuts him off, ending the call. She throws some clothes in her suitcase. She goes to text, changes her mind and finds a pad and paper and writes a note instead. She reads as she's writing.
KATE Roxy, enjoy your 15 minutes with Jason on FacePage. I'm switching to Insta. Un-friend. (pause) Un Family.
Kate walks away from the bedroom with her suitcase in hand. Song begins. Kate may walk offstage and use aisles and other areas, to indicate that she is alone and walking.
SONG: WOMAN
[Singing]
KATE Looking down on the city, all alone with my sole. Trying my best not to brood, standing absorbing the view. I'm not standing here feeling blue. Woman this shouldn't be happening to you. Woman, why do we hurt each other? They play us off, play us off, like the fool. If you're the one now, just remember, next time it might be you. Woman, why do we hurt each other? They play us off, play us off like the fool. If you're the one now, just remember, next time it might be you.
Instrumental break: On stage, Roxy enters to the empty hotel room, finds the note and reads. She then looks at her phone, looking at Facepage, and realisation dawns on her as she sees the photo and recognises what has happened.
KATE (CONT'D) Don't let the weight of the world fall on your shoulders, and to yourself, to yourself always be true. Your heart will find the answer. Yeah, let love come to you.
Roxy is packing her bag to go, she's trying to ring Kate who is not answering. In the hotel room she sings along with Kate who is "elsewhere".
KATE AND ROXY Woman, why do we hurt each other? They play us off, play us off like the fool.
If you're the one now, just remember, next time it might be you. Woman, why do we hurt each other? They play us off, play us off like the fool. If you're the one now, just remember, next time it might be you.
Kate and Roxy exit separately.
SCENE THREE: KATE'S HOUSE
Back home, Jason sits in the lounge room. He is sad, and is pouring his heart out to a photograph of Kate while watching their home movies.
SONG: HEART OF HEARTS
[Singing]
JASON I'll always walk with you, I'll always talk with you, Cause in my heart, We're still together. I'll always speak your name, Knowing it's not the same, Cause in my heart, We were forever. Why can't you be here with me, Our love was so easy, I want you to know you fill my dreams. Your heart was there for me, Mine on the wind, forgive me. Seeing you feels like it never died, Having visions of us, In my mind. Why can't you be here with me, Our love was so easy, I want you to know you fill my dreams. In my heart you're around all the time, I'll always see, The still frames in my mind.
You're around all the time. And if, you come back, I'll only need the sun. Yeah, I'll only need the sun, To rain down on me. In my heart you're around all the time, I'll always see, The still frames in my mind, You're around all the time. In my heart you're around all the time, I'll always see, The still frames in my mind, My mind I'll always walk with you, I'll always talk with you, Cause in my heart, We were forever.
There's a knock at the door. Roxy walks through to speak to Jason. She looks at the boxes of tissues and the home movies in disgust.
ROXY Oh, look at yourself. Snap out of it! I've just chased my nutbag sister halfway around the world. Is she here?
JASON No - I thought she was with you.
ROXY She was until Frankie told her that you and I were having some sort of..secret...affair!
Roxy is clearly repulsed by the whole idea and can hardly find the words to explain herself. Jason is finally working out what is going on.
JASON The picture!
ROXY Yes, the picture! Some random picture from some two-bit urban artist - he didn't even get my best side.
She gestures to her voluptuous figure.
JASON But why would Kate go away with you if she thought we were having an affair?
Roxy is now pacing.
ROXY Ah - she never showed me the picture! She just told me you were cheating and, because all men are bastards, I thought it was true!
JASON Nice! So you take her off to Africa without even letting her talk to me?
ROXY Ah, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But you told Frankie it was me in the picture, then Frankie told Kate it was me in the picture, then Kate flipped out and I haven't seen her since.
Jason pacing up and down in frustration. Roxy sits calmly on the couch, and inspects her nails, waiting for Jason to finish his rant. Roxy makes small noises of pretending to listen throughout.
JASON I've called her like, a million times. She's not answering me. I can't believe this has all gone so wrong. I thought that dancing lessons with you would be such a good idea! I was just trying to spice things up between us, you know. I just need to talk to her. What are the odds - someone snapping us outside the building after a lesson? That peck goodbye looks like a full-on kiss. And that's what I've been talking about - Kate looked at that bloody picture on the bloody internet and just believed it! And Frankie. And you! And nobody talked to me, you all just bloody took off.
ROXY Are you done?
JASON Well, at least the dancing lessons weren't in vain. I tangoed her off her feet.
He stands dramatically in tango pose, and Roxy stands up and joins him.
ROXY Of course you did. You had me as your teacher.
They smile at each other. Just at that moment Kate enters the room, and sees them in each others arms. Frankie enters just after her.
JASON Oh, bloody hell!
FRANKIE Oh, this is lovely.
Kate stares, then turns without a sound and goes to leave the room, but Frankie stops her.
KATE Let me go! I've already seen this picture.
FRANKIE No you don't! This stops here.
Frankie looks at Jason.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) I think you owe the bride...and I...an explanation.
KATE No, I can't. I have to go.
FRANKIE Where are you gonna go Kate? We are all here.
Jason rushes to Kate's side.
JASON I love you and I will not let you leave until this has been sorted out.
There is a tense moment of indecision/ awkward pause.
ROXY Jason and I are NOT having an affair. Urr. We were dancing. He came to me for dancing lessons to surprise you.
JASON Because Frankie told me to ....spice things up!
They all stop and look at Frankie. He acts guilty, as he remembers the conversation he had with Jason.
FRANKIE Well yes...but I was thinking more...Cinnamon (indicating Kate), not Garlic (with a grimace looks at Roxy).
KATE Why didn't you say something earlier Rox? Why whisk me off to Africa if it was all so innocent?
ROXY I thought the stinker really had had an affair. (She looks at Jason) Sorry.
Kate and Jason are staring at each other. Roxy grabs Frankie's arm and pulls him aside.
ROXY (CONT'D) Come on Frankie. This has been such a drama. I need a drink. Dr Dick's shout.
FRANKIE Drama! That's nothing. Tonight, I gotta rock a sequined strapless dress wearing 'Jimmy Choo's' two sizes too small...and fight Stardust for the spotlight.
As they exit together.
FRANKIE (CONT'D) It's hard to do strapless when you're flat chested. I am feeling bloaty. Do I look bloaty to you?
Frankie and Roxy exit. Kate and Jason are still standing staring at each other.
JASON I was just trying to spice things up.
Kate sighs, she's giving in.
JASON (CONT'D) I just felt you slipping away. You're just always seem so much more interested in...well, you know... what Debbie from Texas is doing! Our life seemed so -
Kate puts her hand up to him.
KATE Just stop. We're good. It just happens you know? Kids, work...stuff. Just going through the motions.
JASON I know. I just always have a million things on my mind all the time.
KATE Thinking of a million things...
JASON AND KATE ...and nothing at all.
SONG: EVERYDAY
[Kate and Jason sing a duet]
[Singing]
JASON Splash my face with the water feel the cold. Stretch and yawn get dressed and out the door. Just this morning you left me wanting more.
ENSEMBLE
Don't let it get you, don't let it get you down.
JASON We take care of ourselves putting up walls.
ENSEMBLE Carry the weight upon your shoulders.
KATE AND JASON Thinking of a million things, but nothing at all. Thinking of a million things This is what happens every day. Every day is grey. Nothing new, no more words to say. It's the same old,day to day.
KATE Eat to feel full then watch TV, I'm bored. Shower then dry, then clean the kitchen floor. Waiting for you to come home or even to call
ENSEMBLE Nobody's on the line tonight. Kate you better get your life right!
KATE What's the point. Is there a point at all?
ENSEMBLE There's never a point to all of this, cause what you see is what you get.
KATE Thinking of a million things, but nothing at all. Thinking of a million things
KATE AND JASON This is what happens everyday. Every day is grey. Nothing new no words to say. It's the same old,day to day. This is what happens every day. Every day is grey.
Nothing new,no words to say. It's the same old,day to day. This is what happens every day. Every day is grey Nothing new no words to say it's the same old day to day. This is what happens every day it's the same old day to day
(Spoken)
KATE I don't want to be a statistic Jason.
Jason puts his arms around her.
JASON Neither do I. We should have been doing the dancing together. To get you to stop looking at your phone and start looking at me again.
KATE Okay, okay. I get it. Alright Mr Spice, let's hit the club. Show me just how much dancing went on.
Kate goes to grab her keys and phone. Kate hesitates, looks at Jason, and then her phone back and forth a few times. Finally puts the phone down and smiles.
JASON Really thought you were going the other way there! I love you Kate.
KATE Yeah, yeah. You love every body. I'm expecting big things, twinkle toes.
As they begin to walk away. Kate's phone message tone goes off. Kate and Jason look at each other. Jason picks up the phone and reads the message.
JASON It's your Mum. She's wondering when we'll be picking the kids up.
Kate panics.
KATE
Put that thing down!
She grabs the phone and slams it down on the table.
KATE (CONT'D) Quick let's go!
She grabs Jason and is pulling him out the door.
JASON (as he's exiting) You know she can't actually see you....
They exit. The phone begins to ring.
SCENE FIVE - FRANKIE'S NIGHTCLUB
SONG: STRONGER STRONGER
[Singing]
ENSEMBLE Stronger, Stronger, Stronger Stronger
FRANKIE You got a beautiful energy. I feel it all around me, won't you take me, to the place, your heart is in.
JASON Life has so many splendors. In your arms I am rendered. I want to be in a world you live in.
CAST/ENSEMBLE Energy is the power you feel in me Can you see it, come on now believe in me. You can see that this isn't wrong now. Only you can make me feel stronger. Stronger Stronger (can you feel it now) Stronger Stronger (you got the energy)
FRANKIE You're the one I'll run to baby. Come to me and don't say maybe. I can't wait a minute longer. You're the one that makes me stronger. Feel the shivers down my spine. Thought of you boy, you're divine. Feel your sweat you know I'm gonna. You're the one that makes me stronger.
CAST/ENSEMBLE Energy is the power You feel in me Can't you see it, Come on now, believe in me. You can see that this isn't wrong now. Only you can make me feel stronger. Stronger Stronger Stronger Stronger Stronger Stronger Stronger Stronger
KATE You got a beautiful harmony. I feel eternally happy. I wanna fly to the sky and be free.
ROXY Life has so many colors, look around at all the wonders. I wanna be a part of every living thing.
CAST/ENSEMBLE Energy is the power you feel in me. Can't you see it, come on now believe in me. You can see that this isn't wrong now. Only you can make me feel stronger. Stronger Stronger Stronger Stronger (etc) Energy is the power you feel in me. Can't you see it, come on now believe in me. You can see that this isn't wrong now. Only you can make me feel stronger, Stronger stronger! (refrain)
THE END