By Sally Perricone
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by Sally Perricone FOR ALL ENQUIRIES CONTACT: ORiGiN™ Theatrical PO BOX Q1235, QVB Post Office, Sydney, NSW, 1230, Australia Phone: (61 2) 8514 5201; Fax (61 2) 9299 2920 [email protected] www.origintheatrical.com.au Part of the ORiGiN™ Music Group - An Australian Independent Music Company IMPORTANT NOTICE © 2017 ORiGiN™ Theatical The amateur and professional acting rights to the works contained in this book are owned and or controlled for the World exclusively by ORiGiN™ Theatrical (the publisher). Permission in writing is required by ORiGiN™ Theatrical before a performance is given. A performance is given any time it is acted before an audience. A royalty fee is payable before each and every performance regardless of whether it is for a non-profit organisation or if an admission is charged. The publication of this book does not mean that the amateur and professional performance rights are available for all works listed within. 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Such references are solely for use in a dramatic context. If you are in any doubt about any of the above then contact ORiGiN™ Theatrical. www.origintheatrical.com.au AND HERE ARE THE RULES IN PLAIN ENGLISH FOR YOU… • DO NOT perform any of these works without getting permission from ORiGiN™ Theatrical first. In 99% of cases you’ll need to pay us money to be allowed to stage a performance. This money goes to the author(s) of the show who shed blood, sweat and tears creating this play. Please don’t rob them of their livelihood. Go online www.origintheatrical.com.au or call +61 2 8514 5201 • DO NOT make a copy of any of these works by photocopying, scanning, taking a photo, retyping (on a computer or a typewriter), or using a pencil, pen or chalkboard. If you want to purchase more copies contact ORiGiN™ Theatrical. Go online www.origintheatrical.com.au or call +61 2 8514 5201 • DO NOT make any changes to the text of these works without first getting permission from ORiGiN™ Theatrical in writing. Sometimes you’ll be allowed to make changes and sometimes you won’t. Please always check with us first. Go online www.origintheatrical.com.au or call +61 2 8514 5201 • DO NOT record your performances or rehearsals of these works in anyway without first getting permission from ORiGiN™ Theatrical. We know everyone wants to try and record everything on their phones these days. We get it. But please don’t encourage them or give them permission. Sometimes there are important contractual reasons as to why we can’t give you permission to record it. And sometimes there aren’t any reasons and we can say YES. Please just check with us first. Go online www.origintheatrical.com.au or call +61 2 8514 5201 • DO contract ORiGiN™ Theatrical if you have any questions about anything. At all. And we mean anything. One of us that works here (not me) has a peculiar interest in recording the unusual bird calls of the adult hoatzin (a species of tropical bird found in the wet forests and mangroves of the Amazon and the Orinoco delta in South America) so we should be able to answer any questions you have about the Hoatzin. Plus we know some things about some other things too. • Thank you for taking the time to read this. OPENING ACT ONE SCENE ONE - FRANKIE'S CLUB Frankie walks on stage in a black tuxedo with his mobile phone on "Facepage". He also has full face makeup. FRANKIE All my new friends... Accept accept accept! Ooh, no decline. Don't you just love this stuff? It's a voyeur's paradise. Ah, funny cat video, self help quote of the day, sad singles ads - as if he's really single - and oh, feet by the pool on holiday. Really, feet? Some people will just post anything. Stardust storms onto the stage, half in drag costume. She is angry, outraged. STARDUST Frankie, this costume? These shoes? My high arches? Stardust holds her foot up so that Frankie can see the shoes. Frankie looks, takes a picture of Stardust's foot. He then posts the pic. FRANKIE Post! STARDUST You bitch! I don't know why I bother! (She storms off) Tag me! FRANKIE Now where was I...that's right. Getting all moral. Talking about how we're all getting obsessed with the cyber world and forgetting to live and feel the physical world. (He puts his phone on a table and walks away from it) At some point we have to put these things down and really talk, right? Phone bings. Frankie freezes, he is in an agony of indecision. He signals "just a moment" to the audience and rushes back to the phone compulsively. FRANKIE (CONT'D) Like, like, like, like, like. Oh, sad face. Ok I'm turning it off. I'd like to tell you a story about my two best friends - Kate and Jason. And how Facepage got them into a bit of a pickle. I didn't know it then, but this is how it all started. Jason walks onto the stage. JASON Where's Kate? FRANKIE You've just missed her - probably a good thing really! She styled the guys really well tonight, though. You take... Frankie waves his arms over Jason's styled suit. FRANKIE(CONT'D) ...this for granted. She does do you well, you know. Better than I used to do you in college, I hate to admit. Stardust happens to be walking past at that moment, and gasps as he thinks he's heard a bit of juicy gossip. JASON My clothes, Stardust. Stardust makes a face and walks away. Frankie goes behind the bar and starts to pour a couple of drinks for them both. FRANKIE Sit down. It's been too long between drinks for us! JASON Well mate, you spend all your time with my wife these days. Our pub & footy nights are long gone with you opting for coffee and shopping sprees with Kate. I don't even get a look in! I don't get a look in with Kate either, as a matter of fact. FRANKIE Green doesn't suit you. You're my mate, and Kate's my BFF. JASON One question...Cocktails over beer - really? FRANKIE "Cock-tails" - let's just think about that word for a minute. (Pause) Mate, I love you, I love Kate. Take her out, talk. Show her your feelings. Spice it up a bit. Write her some love letters, take her dancing! JASON Dancing? Pfft. She's seen all my moves. FRANKIE Well let's see if we can't teach an old dog a new trick. Jason holds out his hand. FRANKIE (CONT'D) Ooh, I'll even let you lead. The men embrace then Frankie stops. FRANKIE (CONT'D) Well look at you, aren't you a regular Fred. JASON Come on Ginger. The men dance and compliment each others style. FRANKIE Nice moves...perhaps all you've needed was the right partner. SONG: PENNED WITH INK FRANKIE (CONT'D) [Singing] A story in show, form told in song, done the right way, can be lot's of fun. JASON See how "Gen X" can loose their way. Keeping up with the lingo of the day. Gen Y has it covered or so they think. JASON AND FRANKIE Nothing say's I love you more...when it's penned with INK! Frankie talks and Jason exits. FRANKIE So that's Jason. Hmm, cute. Now you need to meet Kate! As Frankie talks he removes his tux coat and bow tie. Kate starts to talk when he finishes his line and he walks over to the booth as she talks. KATE (INSIDE BOOTH BEHIND CURTAIN) These are so beautiful. Oh, what colours are on point? Frankie? Kate pulls back the curtain with a swish.