Dear Class Member, For over 40 years, Abigail Van Buren wrote the "" newspaper column and acted as a counselor, confessor and friend to the millions of people who read her advice. Her real name was Pauline Phillips, and she died on January 16 at age 94.

Pauline had only one major competitor in the advice business -- her identical twin, Esther Lederer. Esther wrote the "Ann Landers" column and died in 2002. The two were inseparable as children, and grew up to be colleagues and sometimes rivals.

We all need advice from time to time, and as Christians we look for wise counsel that will be in line with God's will. Of real importance is the separation of bad advice from good. The death of "Dear Abby" gives us an opportunity to think about wisdom and advice, and what the Scriptures teach us about good counsel. So this will be the topic of our next class.

If you wish to start thinking about our topic in advance, below is some introductory material.

Original "Dear Abby" Advice Columnist Dies The Wired Word for the Week of January 27, 2013

In the News

Dear Abby: My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes our breakfast -- still in the buff. We're newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there's really nothing wrong with it. What do you think? -- Ed

Dear Ed: It's O.K. with me. But tell her to put on an apron when she's frying bacon.

Letters to the "Dear Abby" advice column were written to Abigail Van Buren, the pen name for Pauline Phillips, who started answering personal questions in 1956 and died this month at age 94 (it is unknown whether her advice on frying bacon stemmed from personal experience). She had been ill with Alzheimer's disease for more than 10 years. described her as "a trusted, tart- tongued adviser to tens of millions."

Daughter Jeanne Phillips, who took over her mother's column in 2000, told USA TODAY that her mother "was wonderful -- an amazing, charismatic, caring, caring woman. She loved and had a deep concern for other people." But at the same time, her mother did not hesitate to offer saucy words of wisdom.

When a young woman wondered whether she had gone too far in a 21st birthday celebration with her boyfriend, Abby was a truth-teller:

Dear Abby: I usually don’t go in much for drinking, but I had three martinis. During dinner we split a bottle of wine. After dinner we had two brandies. Did I do wrong?

Abby's response: Probably.

Abby could be down-to-earth, honest, funny and wise. People appreciated her guidance and wrote letters to her saying, "You changed my life," which reminded her of the importance of her work. But she always maintained a sense of humor, which came through in creative solutions to problems:

Dear Abby: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Have you any suggestions? -- M. J. B. in Oakland, Calif.

Dear M. J. B.: Yes. Run for a public office.

At her best, Abby offered responses that showed wisdom about a range of issues, from human sexuality to the tax code:

Dear Abby: Are birth control pills deductible? -- Bertie

Dear Bertie: Only if they don't work. Pauline (Abby) had a long professional rivalry with her identical twin sister, Esther, the advice columnist known as "Ann Landers," who died in 2002. They were born on July 4, 1918, in Sioux City, Iowa, to Russian Jewish immigrants. Her father started out as a traveling salesman and later became the owner of a movie theater chain. Pauline and Esther were inseparable as children, dressing alike, sharing purses and even sleeping in the same bed at times.

The sisters went to Morningside College together, where they co-wrote a gossip column in the student newspaper. Just before turning 21, they were married in a double ceremony, followed by a double honeymoon. But the wedding was preceded by a dramatic incident worthy of a "Dear Abby" column. At the last minute, Esther ditched her fiance and brought in a substitute groom, marrying Jules Lederer, a salesman who went on to form Budget Rent-a-Car.

In 1955, Esther took over the "Ann Landers" column for The Chicago Sun-Times, and asked her sister Pauline for help. "By responding to the overflow from the wildly popular Ann Landers column, she discovered that she wouldn’t make a bad advice-giver herself," reports .

Pauline called The Chronicle, identified herself as a local housewife and stated that she could do a better job than the newspaper's current advice columnist. The editor decided to give her a chance, and after Pauline submitted some writing samples, she was given the job at a salary of $20 per week.

According to The New York Times, Pauline "chose her pen name herself, taking Abigail after the prophetess in the Book of Samuel ('Then David said to Abigail, "Blessed is your advice and blessed are you"') and Van Buren for its old-family, presidential ring."

"Dear Abby" was an immediate success, and the column was quickly syndicated. But Pauline's success led to an estrangement from Esther. The twins did not speak for five years, reconciling only in the mid- 1960s. Their professional and private lives became permanently intertwined.

"A life of advice is to walk the finest of lines," writes advice columnist Carolyn Hax, "of between knowing and guessing; entertainment and empathy; compassion and criticism; between trying to help and presuming to; between being a public resource and a punch line."

Until she retired in 2000 and turned her column over to her daughter, Pauline continued to give pithy advice to her readers. When one writer asked how to cure the wandering eye of a married man, "Dear Abby" had a simple and straightforward answer: "Rigor mortis."

More on this story can be found at these links:

Pauline Phillips, flinty advisor to millions as Dear Abby dies at 94, The New York Times Original 'Dear Abby' advice columnist dies at 94. USA TODAY Pauline Phillips, better known as 'Dear Abby,' dies at 94, The Washington Post A life of giving advice is to walk the finest of lines, The Washington Post

The Big Questions Here are some of the questions we will discuss in class:

1. Where can Christians obtain wise counsel that is in line with God's will?

2. What is the criteria we should use to separate bad advice from good? How do we do that?

3. Advice columnists often use humor in their responses to serious questions. When is humor helpful, and when it is hurtful?

4. "Dear Abby" once said that her views and advice on a number of topics, including premarital sex, had changed over the years. When should we change our views, and when should we not? How do we remain faithful to a constant God in an ever-changing culture? When does the distinction C.S. Lewis makes between "morality" and "propriety" come into play (His classic example was of a young woman in a South Seas culture for whom going what we call "topless" was a non-issue)?

5. "Dear Abby" and "Ann Landers" had a lifelong rivalry. How do you think their competition hurt their relationship, and how did it motivate them to achieve success?

6. Advice-givers such as "Dear Abby" cannot continue their columns forever, but must pass their work to the next generation. What is involved in a healthy transition?

Confronting the News with Scripture and Hope We will look at selected verses from these Scripture texts. You may wish to read these in advance for background: Genesis 3:1-21 Genesis 30:1-24 Genesis 41:1-45 Proverbs 1:20-33 Matthew 13:54-58 1 Corinthians 1:18- 31

In class, we will talk about these passages and look for some insights into the big questions, as well as talk about other questions you may have about this topic. Please join us.