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BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD IN THE HOME FOUNDATIONS FOR THE FAMILY SERIES BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD in the HOME NANCY LEIGH DEMOSS, EDITOR CROSSWAY BOOKS A DIVISION OF GOOD NEWS PUBLISHERS WHEATON, ILLINOIS Biblical Womanhood in the Home Copyright © 2002 by Nancy Leigh DeMoss Published by Crossway Books A division of Good News Publishers 1300 Crescent Street Wheaton, Illinois 60187 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided by USA copyright law. Crossway’s publication of Biblical Womanhood in the Home is in cooperation with FamilyLife and the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version®, © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. The “NIV” and “New International Version” trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society. References marked KJV are from the King James Version. References marked NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used permission. All rights reserved. References marked NASB are from The New American Standard Bible. Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1975 and 1977 by The Lockman Foundation and are used by permission. Cover photo: PhotoDisc First printing, 2002 Printed in the United States of America Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Biblical womanhood in the home / Nancy Leigh DeMoss, editor. p. cm. — (Foundations for the family series) ISBN 1-58134-360-4 1. Christian women—Religious life. 2. Women—Biblical teaching. I. DeMoss, Nancy Leigh. II. Series. BV4527 .B56 2002 248.8'43—dc21 2001005977 CIP 15 14 13 12 11 10 09 08 07 06 05 04 03 02 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 To our daughters— both physical and spiritual. May your lives always adorn the Gospel of Christ. May you know the joy of being true women of God. And may your homes be reflections of His great redemptive heart and plan. CONTENTS Acknowledgments 9 The Contributors 11 Introduction 13 I. THE GLORY OF WOMANHOOD AS CREATED BY GOD 1 Femininity: Developing a Biblical Perspective 21 Carolyn Mahaney 2 True Beauty Carolyn Mahaney 33 3 Daddy’s Girl: Knowing God as Father Mary A. Kassian 47 II. THE CHALLENGE OF BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD IN A FALLEN WORLD 4 Portrait of a Woman Used By God Nancy Leigh DeMoss 65 5 Portrait of a Foolish Woman Nancy Leigh DeMoss 83 6 Pruned to Bloom P. Bunny Wilson 101 III. THE FREEDOM OF WOMEN AS HELPERS 7 A Wife’s Responsibility to Help Her Husband 115 Barbara Hughes 8 Liberated Through Submission P. Bunny Wilson 133 IV. THE JOY OF WOMEN AS BEARERS AND NURTURERS OF LIFE 9 How to Raise Feminine Daughters Susan Hunt 147 10 Nurturing Mothers Dorothy Kelley Patterson 161 11 Older Women Mentoring Younger Women: 171 Titus 2 in the Church Today Susan Hunt Conclusion 183 Scripture Index 186 Index 190 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Each contributor to this book has been encouraged and assisted in multiple ways on this project by individuals that include husbands, staff, friends, and other fellow servants. Space does not permit us to identify those individuals by name, but from our hearts, each of us says “thank you” for your prayers, input, and practical assistance. We also owe a collective “thank you” to: Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) and FamilyLife (FL)—the two ministries that cohosted the Building Strong Families in Your Church conference in March 2000, where these mes- sages were first presented as workshop sessions. Wayne Grudem (then-President of CBMW) and Dennis Rainey (Executive Director of FL) for your leadership of these strategic min- istries and for your faithfulness in lifting high the flag of Truth in a day when it takes great courage to do so. We thank God for giving such men to the church and pray that He will grant you favor and multi- ply your efforts for His glory. Crossway Books and Lane Dennis (President) for your bold com- mitment to the Truth and for your vision for publishing this series. Thank you for prayerfully considering what needs to be said to the church in the twenty-first century, and for your efforts to penetrate the darkness with the magnificent light of His ways. Ted Griffin—you are a true servant of the Lord and of His peo- ple. Thank you for taking on the thankless tasks of reviewing, editing, and helping to shape this book and for compiling the indices that have made it an even more useful resource. Soli Deo Gloria. THE CONTRIBUTORS Nancy Leigh DeMoss is the host and teacher for Revive Our Hearts, a daily radio program for women heard over 250 stations. Since 1979 she has served on the staff of Life Action Ministries in Niles, Michigan. She is author of A Place of Quiet Rest, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, and A Thirty Day Walk with God in the Psalms. Nancy has shared her burden for personal and corporate revival throughout North America and abroad. Barbara Hughes has been a pastor’s wife for thirty-five years. She coauthored two books with her husband, Common Sense Parenting and Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome, and is the author of Disciplines of a Godly Woman. She has administered and taught various Bible studies for twenty-four years. Susan Hunt is the Women in the Church Consultant for the Christian Education and Publications Committee of the Presbyterian Church in America. She received her Bachelor of Christian Education from Columbia Theological Seminary. She has authored several books including The True Woman; Heirs of the Covenant, By Design: God’s Distinctive Calling for Women, Spiritual Mothering: The Titus 2 Mandate for Women Mentoring Women, Your Home—A Place of Grace, and two chil- dren’s books, including My ABC Bible Verses. She and her husband, Gene, a pastor, live in Marietta, Georgia. They have three adult chil- dren and nine grandchildren. Mary A. Kassian is the president of Alabaster Flask Ministries, a ministry that challenges young women to pursue God with passion and to delight in His design. Mary is currently pursuing her doctor- ate in systematic theology at the University of South Africa. She is the 12 B IBLICAL W OMANHOOD IN THE H OME author of several books and videos including The Feminist Gospel; Women, Creation, and the Fall; In My Father’s House: Relating to God as Father; and Conversation Peace: The Power of Transformed Speech. Mary and her husband, Brent, have three sons and reside in Edmonton, Canada. Carolyn Mahaney is a wife, mother, and homemaker. She leads the women’s ministry at Covenant Life Church (PDI Ministries) in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where her husband, C. J., is the senior pas- tor. Carolyn also speaks to women at conferences and churches, based on the book she is currently writing on Titus 2 and the Christian woman. She and C. J. have four children and one grandchild. Dorothy Kelley Patterson is a homemaker, author, lecturer, the- ologian, and Professor of Women’s Studies at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She is the author of BeAttitudes for Women, A Woman Seeking God, and Where’s Mom? She is also the General Editor for The Woman’s Study Bible. She and her husband, Paige, live in Wake Forest, North Carolina, and have two children and two granddaughters. P. Bunny Wilson is founder and president of New Dawn Productions. She is a gifted author, counselor, speaker, and teacher and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The 700 Club, Woman to Woman, and Beverly LaHaye Live. She has authored Liberated Through Submission, Betrayal’s Baby, Knight in Shining Armor, The Master’s Degree, Seven Secrets Women Want to Know, and Night Come Swiftly. She and her husband, Frank, have been married since 1973 and have six children. They live in Southern California. INTRODUCTION Nancy Leigh DeMoss R In 1990 Time magazine devoted an entire special issue to the subject of women.1 The managing editor’s column began: As roughly half the world’s population, women would hardly seem to need to struggle for attention. Yet struggle is pre- cisely what they have been doing in the final decades of the 20th century. Their endeavors deserve no less a word than revolution—in expectations, accomplishments, self-realiza- tion and relationships with men. It is a revolution that, though far from complete, promises over time to bring about changes as profound for men and women as any that have occurred in Eastern Europe or the Soviet Union in the past year.2 The eighty-six-page special issue included articles on such revo- lutionary developments as “the road to equality,” the psychology of growing up female, the changing roles of women in the workforce, women as consumers, changing views on marriage and family, and the hurdles women face in pursuing political careers. One section featured profiles of “10 tough-minded women” who have combined “talent and drive” to become “successful” in their careers: the police chief of a major metropolitan police force, a base- ball owner, a rap artist, an AIDS activist, a rock climber, a bishop in a 14 B IBLICAL W OMANHOOD IN THE H OME mainline denomination, a fashion tycoon, a saxophonist, an Indian chief, and a choreographer. These women were lauded chiefly for their success in their chosen vocations.