DOCSLIB.ORG

Relationship Literacy and Polyamory: a Queer Approach

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
Relationship Literacy and Polyamory: a Queer Approach RELATIONSHIP LITERACY AND POLYAMORY: A QUEER APPROACH Heather Anne Trahan A Dissertation Submitted to the Graduate College of Bowling Green State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY May 2014 Committee: Kristine Blair, Committee Chair Kenneth W. Borland Jr. Graduate Faculty Representative Lee Nickoson Sue Carter Wood © 2014 Heather Anne Trahan All Rights Reserved iii ABSTRACT Kristine Blair, Committee Chair The field of rhetoric and composition has embraced queer theory and broader understandings of sexual literacy (Alexander) in order to dialogue with students, teachers, theorists and other learners about the problematics of normativity when applied to sexuality. Although discussed in a variety of other academic fields, polyamory—the practice, identity, and theory of an ethical engagement in multiple loving relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all involved—has not yet been broached within rhetoric and composition. This project is the first step in starting such a conversation. By providing a synthesis of the extant scholarship on polyamory across the disciplines and explaining how polyamory can be viewed as an organic outgrowth from current conversations about queerness and identity, I coin the term “relationship literacy” as a way to provoke new dialogues about what it might mean to make and maintain intimate, consensual relationships that do not necessarily fall in line with the status quo. Through the lens of queer theory, I advocate the importation of polyamory studies into rhetoric and composition because it can stimulate existing conversations about feminist pedagogy as well as the generative social justice theories and activisms that form the basis of the field. Through a queer approach to polyamory, new insights in both theory and pedagogy become possible, as scholars and teachers begin to understand the force of mononormativity (Pieper and Bauer) as nearly ubiquitous. iv Dedicated to my lifepartner Andrew Trahan. Without your passion, unflinching work ethic, genius, and dedication, this project would not exist. What we said on our wedding day is still as true as it is today: “1,000 years would not be enough!” v ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I have tried my best to make this work accessible to a broad audience. Throughout the process, I have always been eager to dialogue, collaborate, solicit feedback, and share chapters with those who are interested, no matter their rank, title, or their affiliation. The polyamory movement truly has no borders, and it is a subtle yet powerful vibrational change that is happening across diverse systems. I believe I will live to see the day when relationships will be free to be more fluid and poly/queer people will no longer be hiding, trembling, in closets. The world will at last know the full miracle of love. Many brain and heart collaborations went into the making of this project. I’m happy to take this moment to thank as many as I can. First and foremost, I’d like to thank all those brave poly and queer people for coming out of the closet and showing your beautiful selves to the world! It is so difficult to stand in the spotlight and be a potential target for cynicism, ignorance, and hate. I know I have felt all those negative emotions being flung at me, and it certainly hasn’t been easy. Thank you for making yourself visible. Thank you to my committee members: Kristine Blair, Sue Carter Wood, Lee Nickoson, and Kenneth W. Borland. You have provided me with inspirational, gentle, productive feedback throughout this process. It has been such a joy to work with you all! Thank you to my dear sweet poly family. A million billion thank you’s to my amazing lifepartner Andrew Trahan, to my lifepartner Robert Williams, to my beautiful metamour Chelsea Cordelia Raymond, and to my metamour’s lifepartner Ben Murphy. Every day I learn what “love” is just a little bit more, from the four of you. Thank you to my brother Aaron McMacken and my cousin Ian Colin McCain, who supported me during my coming out phase. You are wonderful human beings, and I feel so lucky we are related by blood. Thank you also to friend Scott Kennedy, for suggestions about how to tighten up my prose in Chapter One. Thank you to my friend Lloyd Sparks, for helping me catch some typos. vi Thanks to Serena Anderlini-D’Onofrio, Dossie Easton, Janet Hardy, and Deborah Anapol for courageously paving the way for others to live, write, and speak as proud polyamorous. Also, thank you to Andrea Riley Mukavetz for pointing me toward some great sources early on in the process. Thanks to Jonathan Alexander for providing me with feedback on a draft of this project. Thanks to Serena Anderlini-D’Onofrio and Daniel Cardoso for awesome, serendipitous Skype conversations: both of your work on poly continues to awe, engage, and challenge me. Thanks to queer scholar-heroes Sara Ahmed and Michael Warner. Thank you to dear rhetoric & writing friends Estee Beck and Megan Adams—you both have made travelling through this doctoral program such a joy. And, thank you to my dear friend and colleague Liane Ortis for so many wonderful conversations about love and spirituality. I feel privileged that we have been working on our dissertations on polyamory at the same time. The field of Higher Education Administration is lucky to be receiving your work, Liane! Finally, a thank you to the mind-bogglingly massive network of like-minded people who are working in academe as well as outside of it, working to make Planet Earth a truly peaceful, loving place. You are the ones who understand that words like peace and love are not just words and not just an idealistic dream—but that these words have concrete power and that these words are being embodied, more and more, as we move through the passage of “time.” Though I do not know your name and though we may never shake hands or embrace, I Love You. v The following pages are formatted properly with the correct pagination TABLE OF CONTENTS for documents that do not include a copyright page. Please use this as a Page guide for spacing and alignment and insert your own text. I: NEW DIRECTIONS .......................................................................................................... 1 Chapter Overview ...................................................................................................... 4 Core Message; Core Research Questions ................................................................. 5 Research Design and Trajectory ............................................................................... 8 Snapshot of Queer Theory ........................................................................................ 11 Basic Definitions ........................................................................................... 11 The Place of Queer Theory in the Academy .................................................. 15 Queers and Social Justice ............................................................................... 18 Impact of Foucault ......................................................................................... 21 The Queering of Rhetoric and Composition: A Snapshot ......................................... 23 Overview of Queer Theory and LGBT Presence ........................................... 23 Agency, Literacy, and Social Justice ............................................................ 25 Rhetoric and Composition’s Embrace of Queer Theory: A Survey of the Most Critical Scholarship ....................................................................................... 30 Gaps in the Scholarship; Moving Forward ................................................... 36 Snapshot: The Emerging Interdisciplinary Discussions of Polyamory ..................... 40 Fields of Conversation; Fields of Silence ...................................................... 40 Issues Within Polyamory Conversations ....................................................... 43 Outline of Chapters .................................................................................................... 46 This Project’s Significance ........................................................................................ 46 II: THE INTERDISCIPLINARY FIELD OF POLY SCHOLARSHIP ................................ 48 vi Chapter Aims ............................................................................................................ 48 Polyamory in the Popular Media ............................................................................... 48 Scholars Analyze Polyamory ..................................................................................... 52 Let’s Get Political! ......................................................................................... 53 The Hegemonic Force of Mononormativity .................................................. 59 The Language of Polyamory .......................................................................... 62 Love, Spirituality, and Other Themes ............................................................ 73 The Future ............................................................................................................ 78 III: QUEER PLUS POLY: A RADICAL EMBRACING ..................................................... 90 Placing Polyamory within Queer Theory .................................................................. 90 Getting to the Roots ................................................................................................... 93 Ambiguity, Impermanence,
Load more

Recommended publications
  • Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence
    Columbia Law School Scholarship Archive Faculty Scholarship Faculty Publications 2004 Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence Elizabeth F. Emens Columbia Law School, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarship.law.columbia.edu/faculty_scholarship Part of the Family Law Commons, Law and Gender Commons, Law and Society Commons, Legal History Commons, Sexuality and the Law Commons, and the Supreme Court of the United States Commons Recommended Citation Elizabeth F. Emens, Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence, 29 N.Y.U. REV. L. & SOC. CHANGE 277 (2004). Available at: https://scholarship.law.columbia.edu/faculty_scholarship/410 This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Faculty Publications at Scholarship Archive. It has been accepted for inclusion in Faculty Scholarship by an authorized administrator of Scholarship Archive. For more information, please contact [email protected]. MONOGAMY'S LAW: COMPULSORY MONOGAMY AND POLYAMOROUS EXISTENCE' ELIZABETH F. EMENSt I. Introdu ction .................................................................................................. 2 78 II. Com pulsory M onogam y ............................................................................... 287 A . M onogam y's M andate ....................................................................... 287 1. The Western Romance Tradition ................................................. 288 2. Stories from Biological Anthropology .......................................
    [Show full text]
  • Vaverová, Vladislava (520369)
    1 UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK IN PRAGUE Department of Psychology The Effect of Infidelity in the Workplace on Life Satisfaction among Different Attachment Styles Master Thesis Supervisor: Submitted by: Vartan Agopian, PhD. Vladislava Vaverová Prague, April 2021 2 Declaration I hereby declare that I wrote this thesis individually based on literature and resources stated in references section. In Prague: 26 April 2021 Signature: 3 Acknowledgments I would like to thank my thesis supervisor, Dr. Vartan Agopian greatly for his support and guidance in completing this thesis with me. Words cannot express how much I owe him for his constant encouragement and motivation throughout this journey. Special thanks to my partner and family and friends for supporting me mentally and emotionally throughout the journey in finishing this thesis. 4 Abstract This study was designed to examine the effect of infidelity in the workplace on life satisfaction among different attachment styles. Specifically, this research investigated the effects of group of people working in corporate companies and their life satisfaction and infidelity in workplace. The study also examined the significant differences of infidelity and different attachment styles. One hundred and twenty-six participants attended to fill up the questionnaires to measure the effect of infidelity with adult attachment style and life satisfaction. The goal of this research was to find out relationship, connection, and the effect of infidelity on life satisfaction. Results showed that higher scores of secure attachments will predict higher levels of life satisfaction, while higher scores of anxious attachments will predict lower levels of life satisfaction, they also confirmed that infidelity and anxious attachment style will predict lower life satisfaction.
    [Show full text]
  • Placement of Children with Relatives
    STATE STATUTES Current Through January 2018 WHAT’S INSIDE Placement of Children With Giving preference to relatives for out-of-home Relatives placements When a child is removed from the home and placed Approving relative in out-of-home care, relatives are the preferred placements resource because this placement type maintains the child’s connections with his or her family. In fact, in Placement of siblings order for states to receive federal payments for foster care and adoption assistance, federal law under title Adoption by relatives IV-E of the Social Security Act requires that they Summaries of state laws “consider giving preference to an adult relative over a nonrelated caregiver when determining a placement for a child, provided that the relative caregiver meets all relevant state child protection standards.”1 Title To find statute information for a IV-E further requires all states2 operating a title particular state, IV-E program to exercise due diligence to identify go to and provide notice to all grandparents, all parents of a sibling of the child, where such parent has legal https://www.childwelfare. gov/topics/systemwide/ custody of the sibling, and other adult relatives of the laws-policies/state/. child (including any other adult relatives suggested by the parents) that (1) the child has been or is being removed from the custody of his or her parents, (2) the options the relative has to participate in the care and placement of the child, and (3) the requirements to become a foster parent to the child.3 1 42 U.S.C.
    [Show full text]
  • PDF Download Mistress of Marymoor: Historical Romance At
    MISTRESS OF MARYMOOR: HISTORICAL ROMANCE AT ITS VERY BEST PDF, EPUB, EBOOK Anna Jacobs | 214 pages | 15 Nov 2013 | Createspace | 9781493778508 | English | United States Mistress of Marymoor: Historical Romance at Its Very Best PDF Book With no hope of a future otherwise, Deborah consents and soon after becomes owner of the estate when her benefactor dies. Error rating book. Daniel is not yet settled and is experiencing trauma from his wartime experiences. Joanna rated it it was amazing Feb 19, Anna Jacobs has 87 novels published as of April Simpson rated it really liked it Feb 24, Book list Series list Book covers. Family dramas and all their complications unfold amidst the dales of Lancashire…When her unfaithful husband dies in a car crash, Laura decides to leave Australia for her native England to help nurse her ailing mother. Please enter a number less than or equal to 3. Deborah knows that if she agrees she can save her mother and her elderly maid from the clutches of her uncle , but this is an huge step to take. Author Info. Other Editions 9. But trouble soon befalls the couple in the form of Anthony Elkin , who claims that the Marymoor estate rightly belongs to him. This collection of stand-alone short stories is a treat for new readers and dedicated fans alike. Unlike her cousin Susannah, she's only putting up with this London season because she promised her dying mother X Previous image. Returns policy. Ridge Hill. Yes, it's been told before in many versions,but it's still exciting to read again.
    [Show full text]
  • Flirting: a Designedly Ambiguous Action?
    The University of Manchester Research Flirting: A designedly ambiguous action? DOI: 10.1080/08351813.2017.1301297 Document Version Accepted author manuscript Link to publication record in Manchester Research Explorer Citation for published version (APA): Speer, S. (2017). Flirting: A designedly ambiguous action? Research on Language and Social Interaction, 50(2), 128-150. https://doi.org/10.1080/08351813.2017.1301297 Published in: Research on Language and Social Interaction Citing this paper Please note that where the full-text provided on Manchester Research Explorer is the Author Accepted Manuscript or Proof version this may differ from the final Published version. If citing, it is advised that you check and use the publisher's definitive version. General rights Copyright and moral rights for the publications made accessible in the Research Explorer are retained by the authors and/or other copyright owners and it is a condition of accessing publications that users recognise and abide by the legal requirements associated with these rights. Takedown policy If you believe that this document breaches copyright please refer to the University of Manchester’s Takedown Procedures [http://man.ac.uk/04Y6Bo] or contact [email protected] providing relevant details, so we can investigate your claim. Download date:24. Sep. 2021 Flirting: A designedly ambiguous action? This is the author’s final, pre-publication version of the paper to be published in the journal, Research on Language and Social Interaction. Some small changes may have occurred after this version was sent to publication. The final published version should be consulted before quoting or discussing in detail.
    [Show full text]
  • Incestuous Abuse: Its Long-Term Effects
    DOCUMENT RESUME ED 390 010 CG 026 765 AUTHOR Russell, Diana E. H. TITLE Incestuous Abuse: Its Long-Term Effects. SPONS AGENCY Human Sciences Research Council, Pretoria (South Africa). REPORT NO ISBN-0-7969-1651-9 PUB DATE 95 NOTE 111p. PUB TYPE Books (010) Reports Research/Technical (143) EDRS PRICE MF01/PC05 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS Adult Children; *Child Abuse; *Family Violence; Females; Foreign Countries; *Incidence; Interviews; Parent Child Relationship; Qualitative Research; *Sexual Abuse; *Victims of Crime; Violence IDENTIFIERS South Africa ABSTRACT Despite the growing recognition of the prevalence of incest which is challenging-traditional views about the family as a safe haven for children, there is a serious paucity of scientific research on incest in South Africa in the new field of family violence. Almost a century after Sigmund Freud dismissed most women's reports of incest victimization as wishful fantasy, the extent of the damage done by this form of abuse remains controversial in South Africa, with some researchers maintaining that incest victims often suffer no severe effects. This report presents the findings of a qualitative study designed to explore the short- and long-term effects of incestuous abuse experienced by 20 adult women ince:-.t survivors. Although all but one of the in-depth interviews were conducted with women who at the time were residing in Cape Town, the places in which the incestuous abuse had occurred are dispersed throughout South Africa. The purpose of this study is to inform policy discussions on incestuous abuse, violence in South Africa, and violence against women in general. Includes information on prevalence of incestuous abuse, study methodology, characteristics of incestuous abuse, initial effects abuse; and long-terms effects.
    [Show full text]
  • Eros, Storge, Phileo, and Agape
    Eros, Storge, Phileo, and Agape INTRODUCTION II. Storge Love is ambiguous in the English language. A. This is natural affection—family, kin, the There is “Strawberry Shortcake Love.” We love humblest of loves. We love each other simply cats, dogs, and ice cream. This is trite and with- because we are of the family. B. It is negative in Romans 1:31 and 2 Timothy out depth or permanence. There is “Aunt Minnie 3:3, used regarding homosexuals. Love” which is reserved for “special” people C. It is used in withdrawal in 2 Timothy 3:14, 15. who are sweet and lovable. Sometimes it is con- Withdrawal is not excommunication, put- descending. There is “Bowling Team Love” for ting one out of the church. It is what it says, “buddies” in a reciprocal way. Moderns do not withdrawal of fellowship. zero in on “Tough Love.” So there is a Greek word study. However, the III. Phileo Bible is not learned in a seminary; it is learned A. This is tender affection and brotherly love. out on the street with people in local work. (Philadelphia is the city of “brotherly love.”) Footnotes will not preach. Also, the Bible must B. However, sometimes we make too clear a not be reduced to word studies. You can get so distinction between phileo and agape. Be care- ful. There are surprises. Read Titus 2:3, 4; far out on a limb looking at a leaf you forget the Romans 12:9, 10; 1 Corinthians 16:22; He- tree. Word studies can be helpful, but they can brews 13:1; John 16:27; and 1 Peter 1:22.
    [Show full text]
  • What Can Asexuality Offer Sociology? Insights from the 2017 Asexual Community Census
    Suggested citation: Carroll, Megan. (2020). What can asexuality offer sociology? Insights from the 2017 Asexual Community Census. Manuscript submitted for publication, California State University, San Bernardino, California. What Can Asexuality Offer Sociology? Insights from the 2017 Asexual Community Census Megan Carroll, Ph.D. Assistant Professor of Sociology California State University - San Bernardino Contact: Megan Carroll, Department of Sociology, California State University – San Bernardino, 5500 University Parkway SB327, San Bernardino, CA 92407-2397, [email protected] 2 *** In August 2018, the ASA Section on Sociology of Sexualities hosted a preconference before the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association to gather insights and showcase the work of top contributors of sociological work on sexualities. Outstanding work from across the discipline was featured in panels, workshops, and roundtables across the two days of conferencing, and critical questions of race, politics, and violence were deservedly prioritized amid an increasingly urgent political climate. While this preconference served to advance the discipline’s efforts toward generating knowledge and healing social divides, it also symbolized the range of American sociology’s contributions to interdisciplinary knowledge on sexuality. Missing from the work presented at the pre-conference was any mention of asexualities. Sociological insights on asexuality (i.e. a lack of sexual attraction) have been very limited. While some sociologists have devoted attention toward asexualities in their work (e.g. Carrigan 2011; Cuthbert 2017; Dawson, Scott, and McDonnell 2018; Poston and Baumle 2010; Scherrer and Pfeffer 2017; Simula, Sumerau, and Miller 2019; Sumerau et al. 2018; Troia 2018; Vares 2018), the field more often contributes to the invisibility of asexuality than sheds light on it.
    [Show full text]
  • Marriage in Christ Seminar Follow up Gatherings
    Marriage in Christ Seminar Follow Up Gatherings 1 Contents Simple Instructions ......................................................................................................................... 3 Ordinary life in Christ: “It’s about the little things.” ...................................................................... 4 Protecting Unity by Negotiating Differences ................................................................................. 5 Thinking the Best: Part One ............................................................................................................ 7 Thinking the Best, Part Two ........................................................................................................... 8 The Story of Mother Gerda ............................................................................................................. 9 2 Simple Instructions Schedule about 1 – 1½ hours Gathering Opening prayer Food and conversation o Simple, e.g., potluck, dessert and coffee, wine and cheese, simple brunch, etc. o Sharing about how things have gone for the past several weeks. Share bright spots Highlights of the last week or two Changes that have occurred over time Break into discussion groups o Read the discussion topic (topics can be found on the alumni page of the website) o Discuss the questions Get back together o When do we want to meet next? o Agree to keep praying, talking and acting in your marriages Final Prayer 3 Ordinary life in Christ: “It’s about the little things.” As God's chosen ones,
    [Show full text]
  • How Understanding the Aboriginal Kinship System Can Inform Better
    How understanding the Aboriginal Kinship system can inform better policy and practice: social work research with the Larrakia and Warumungu Peoples of the Northern Territory Submitted by KAREN CHRISTINE KING BSW A thesis submitted in total fulfilment of the requirements of the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY School of Social Work Faculty of Arts and Science Australian Catholic University December 2011 2 STATEMENT OF AUTHORSHIP AND SOURCES This thesis contains no material published elsewhere or extracted in whole or in part from a thesis by which I have qualified for or been awarded another degree or diploma. No other person‟s work has been used without due acknowledgement in the main text of the thesis. This thesis has not been submitted for the award of any degree or diploma in any other tertiary institution. All research procedures reported in the thesis received the approval of the Australian Catholic University Human Research Ethics Committee. Karen Christine King BSW 9th March 2012 3 4 ABSTRACT This qualitative inquiry explored the kinship system of both the Larrakia and Warumungu peoples of the Northern Territory with the aim of informing social work theory and practice in Australia. It also aimed to return information to the knowledge holders for the purposes of strengthening Aboriginal ways of knowing, being and doing. This study is presented as a journey, with the oral story-telling traditions of the Larrakia and Warumungu embedded and laced throughout. The kinship system is unpacked in detail, and knowledge holders explain its benefits in their lives along with their support for sharing this knowledge with social workers.
    [Show full text]
  • Sexual Communication, Including Nonverbal ­Dimensions Communication
    CHAPTER Sexual 3 Communication FEATURES CHAPTER OBJECTIVES Multicultural Describe the process of sexual communication, including nonverbal Dimensions communication. Female and Male Subcultures? 1 Identify barriers to sexual communication, including gender Communication differences, attitudes about sexuality, and sexual language. Dimensions 2 Adult Sexting Discuss techniques for improving sexual communication. Ethical Dimensions ? Ethics, 3 ? Communication, and Date Rape Gender Dimensions Sexual Behavior in Marriage Communication go.jblearning.com/dimensions5e g o . Dimensions j b e l e 5 Attitudes About Sexuality a s Clarity in Sexual r n n io ing ns Communication .com/dime Learning Assertiveness Global Dimensions: International Differences in Discussing Sexuality Global Dimensions International Differences in Discussing Sexuality Communication Dimensions Guidelines for Healthy Sexual Communication © 2014 Jones & Bartlett Learning, LLC. Content not for sale or distribution. 48510_CH03_Pass3.indd 68 11/30/12 3:44 PM INTRODUCTION wo for the Road (1967) is a movie starring Audrey Hepburn as Joanna and Albert Finney as Mark. When they first meet on the T road in Europe, Joanna is in a touring girls’ choir and Mark is a struggling architect. The film follows their life together—through court- ship and marriage, infidelity, and parenthood—all on the road in a vari- ety of cars (hence the title), through a score of time-shifting vignettes. The film presents a lovely portrayal of a young couple growing in— and eventually out of—love. It not only shows the life cycle of a 12-year relationship, but also brilliantly portrays how communication changes during that life cycle. As the couple meets and falls in love at a dizzying pace, conversation flows.
    [Show full text]
  • The DSM Diagnostic Criteria for Paraphilia Not Otherwise Specified
    Arch Sex Behav DOI 10.1007/s10508-009-9552-0 ORIGINAL PAPER The DSM Diagnostic Criteria for Paraphilia Not Otherwise Specified Martin P. Kafka Ó American Psychiatric Association 2009 Abstract The category of ‘‘Not Otherwise Specified’’ (NOS) Introduction for DSM-based psychiatric diagnosis has typically retained diag- noses whose rarity, empirical criterion validation or symptomatic Prior to an informed discussion of the residual category for expression has been insufficient to be codified. This article re- paraphilic disorders, Paraphilia Not Otherwise Specified (PA- views the literature on Telephone Scatologia, Necrophilia, Zoo- NOS), it is important to briefly review the diagnostic criteria philia, Urophilia, Coprophilia, and Partialism. Based on extant for a categorical diagnosis of paraphilic disorders as well as the data, no changes are suggested except for the status of Partialism. types of conditions reserved for the NOS designation. Partialism, sexual arousal characterized by ‘‘an exclusive focus The diagnostic criteria for paraphilic disorders have been mod- on part of the body,’’ had historically been subsumed as a type of ified during the publication of the Diagnostic and Statistical Man- Fetishism until the advent of DSM-III-R. The rationale for con- uals of the American Psychiatric Association. In the latest edition, sidering the removal of Partialism from Paraphilia NOS and its DSM-IV-TR (American Psychiatric Association, 2000), a para- reintegration as a specifier for Fetishism is discussed here and in a philic disorder must meet two essential criteria. The essential companion review on the DSM diagnostic criteria for fetishism features of a Paraphilia are recurrent, intense sexually arousing (Kafka, 2009).
    [Show full text]