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o heal the deep wounds of racism, Jan Willis turned to Buddhism and is now cited by Time magazine as one of America’s spiritual leaders. David Pesci talked with her about her journey from the crushing injustices of life in the Jim Crow South to the thin air of the shrine called Swayambhu. The shimmering light dances and glows in her eyes. Jan Willis is an earnest teenage girl from a small dirt road mining town who has just been awarded a full schol- arship to an Ivy League university. It’s an incredible op- portunity, a bright shining beacon filled with promise and dream-like possibilities. It’s a triumphant moment—an undeniable validation—not just for Jan and her family, but for her community. It’s also the reason people have driv- en from miles around to her house one night. They’ve come to acknowledge Jan’s achievement by burning a cross on her front lawn. Jan’s mother crouches inside their small house holding Jan’s sister, Sandy, and a .22 caliber pistol. She tells Jan to get on the floor, get under the bed. But Jan keeps standing, peering out a corner of the window, spellbound by the sight. The cross, the familiar, safe symbol of peace and love and re- demption that she has grown up with in her Baptist church, glows, completely engulfed in roaring flames. The hooded, hollow-eyed people, most of them in white cloth robes, but a few wearing red and purple satin, surround the cross and shout the racial slurs Jan has heard all her short life. Several children in miniature hoods and robes stand in the light of the flames, shouting as well. The cross burns brighter. Jan’s daddy is off at the local steel mill working the late shift. She stares out the window wondering what he would do if he were here. Her mother is hissing for Jan to get down. They know what will come next: the fire bomb the S Klan always throws before driving off. S U Jan thinks of fighting back, of Daddy’s shotgun. She U M M M Jan Willis is a traveler along knows where he keeps it, but could she fire it? Even as she M E thinks this, deep down she doesn’t want to fire it. What she E R many physical, intellectual, really wants is to go outside and talk to these people. She R ’0 MARLIES BOSCH wants to let them know that they are making a mistake, ’0 1 and spiritual paths. 1 26 WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY 27 that inside we are all the same. Willis’s voice deepens, her words become measured Derrick, yelling louder. Jan realizes it’s not Derrick they’re She began reading about Buddhism, which focused 1952 and said—amazingly, in English—“You should stay The cross burns. The Klanspeople shout. Jan stares at the as the memories bubble up. looking for, it’s Joey, Derrick’s brother. But the men don’t on identifying the causes of suffering and finding a here and study with us.” hooded forms in her front yard. Does she get the gun and “I used to get our mail every week at the local com- know or they don’t care. They just keep yelling. Everyone is path to eliminate it. This intrigued Willis, as did “I wanted to stay, but I just couldn’t,” she says. “I’d open fire, go outside and talk peace, or just stand by the missary. To get there I had to walk through the white so scared. Buddhism’s tenets, which were based on methodology been away for almost nine months. I hadn’t seen my window, waiting for the bomb? section of town. Every time I did, every time, there was And then they break Derrick’s arm. rather than dogma. Contrary to the Southern Baptist re- family for so long. I had to go back.” this white girl waiting for me in her yard. Blonde- His parents don’t move, still paralyzed by fear. Derrick ligion she was raised on, and different from every reli- She turned down the monk’s offer, but every day for If you look in Jan Willis’s eyes today, you would be haired, blue-eyed. She was never clean, always covered cries on the floor. The men seem satisfied. Jan watches them gion she’d ever heard of, her readings made her the next two weeks she went to visit him. She was in- hard pressed to guess that she ever faced such a choice, in mud or dirt, and not more than 5 or 6 years old. And leave. Derrick’s parents finally go to his aid. Jan feels hollow, wonder if Buddhism could help her with the emotion- 1969 trigued by their practice of Tantric Buddhism, which more than once in her life as it turns out. This petite she would yell: ‘Where you going you dirty nigger!?!’ shaken to her core. Home is supposed to be one of the few al scarring she acquired in Docena. was somewhat different than the Zen Buddhism she woman with café au lait skin, a quick smile, and an al- She always said it with such anger, such rage. I re- safe places. Parents are supposed to protect their kids... “Buddhism seemed like a great equalizer. It offered had studied. She knew she would return, but first she most girlish laugh, not only learned to fire a gun, she member how hurtful it was.” distinct methods for growth, and it said all people are had to go home. took part in armed rebellion. Jan Willis, a peace-loving Willis recounts other images: Her parents exhorting A few years later, in the spring of 1963, Willis de- the same. This was something I had believed but had- The Cornell University Willis returned to was Tantric Buddhist, a highly respected scholar and the girls to roll up car windows while passing through cides she will stand by no longer. Together with her n’t encountered before in a religion.” markedly different from the one she had left just a year teacher who was recently named by Time as one of the the white section of town because white people were friends and father, she joined the Rev. Martin Luther An academic year abroad took her to Banaras Hindu 1972 before. Racial animosity was running high. When new century’s spiritual innovators, also traveled out to known to throw acid in the faces of black children. The King’s Birmingham protests. Surrounded by barking University, where she studied Hindi, Buddhist philos- someone burned a cross on the lawn of a house where California to join the Black Panthers at their invitation. demeaning treatment Willis received from the princi- police dogs and billyclub-wielding policemen, she ophy, and music, and pursued a research project on 12 black female students lived, the Black Student How could she have been a part of all of this? pal of the all-white school when he visited the all-black watched police beat protestors. She was hit by skin- contemporary Hindi poetry. But even in India, she Association responded with an armed takeover of the Willis smiles. Her voice, its Alabama twang leav- school. Accounts by friends and neighbors who had searing blasts of water cannons. Fear surged through couldn’t get away from the racism. When asked by an student union on parents’ weekend. Willis, a member her body throughout the experience, but after it was Indian shopkeeper what caste she was, Willis re- of the association, was charged with managing a all over, a feeling of resolution and satisfaction res- sponded she wasn’t of any caste, that she was an weapons cache. She was terrified. “Destined for the same shelf as Anne onated within her.For the first time in her life she stood American. The shopkeeper looked at her and said, 1980 “There were people in the town carrying guns in up for herself and her race. She fought back. “American Negro? I am so sorry for you.” After her broad daylight, putting rifles and shotguns in their Lamott’s Traveling Mercies and Kathleen Two years later Willis earns a full scholarship to studies concluded, she went to Nepal to observe cars,” she says. “I thought we were going to war.” Norris’s The Cloister Walk and Amazing Cornell University.Her award, and similar scholar- Buddhist monks who had been exiled from Tibet. Luckily, violence did not break out during the 24- ships to a few other black Birmingham-area youths, hour takeover, but tensions remained high throughout Grace, this is a powerful memoir of a spurred CBS to send down a news crew to profile these Jan and her friend climb the steps that lead to the shrine the campus during the spring. At graduation, Willis advances against segregation. It seemed like honest, called Swayambhu. The air in Nepal is almost painfully 1987 marched with her fist held over her head—the symbol ‘Baptist Buddhist’ who writes with righteous journalism. But instead of photographing thin, the afternoon sun warm. Jan is breathless, gripping the of black power. her in front of her parents’ small well-kept home, the railing as she takes the steps slowly, one by one. At the top Her involvement in the Cornell protests caught the courage, compassion, and forgiveness.” crew asked her to walk by an impoverished house with they find a monastery. One door catches the attention of notice of leaders in the Black Panthers, and she was starred review, Library Journal.

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