THE STAR-LEDGER Friday, December 6, 2013 Ticket 33

HOME VIDEO REVIEWS Mark Voger

Here’s Edie: The black-and-white : The Edie Adams programs are of varying video The Final Season Television Collection and audio quality. They include $65.99 (Blu-ray/digital $45.95 (DVD), Adams’ Muriel commercials — copy), Sony Pictures Ediad Productions big productions in themselves. Spoilers follow. Be advised that the shows You sometimes wonder I couldn’t get “Baby Blue” are old-school stuff; Adams’ fi- what made Marilyn Monroe the by Badfinger out of my head nal special aired a mere month epitome of sex appeal … what after watching the “Break- after the Beatles debuted on made Lucille Ball a fearless ing Bad” finale. The face of “The Ed Sullivan Show.” clown … why Anna Maria Al- Walter White (Bryan Cran- Extras include 19 songs berghetti could sing like a bird. ston), with its sad smile, as from the 1950s shows of Then you come across one he savored his final stroll Adams’ late husband, Ernie Edie Adams, who combined through a meth lab, patting Kovacs (who was killed in a the best qualities of all three. a gas mask with reverence, 1962 car accident), and a Mu- It’s beyond dispute that Ad- just kind of broke my heart. The Canyons riel promotional ams was a knockout on a par Sure, this guy was a turd. $24.98 (DVD), MPI film. with Monroe. Her come-hither He would kidnap his own “The Canyons” is sexy. catchphrase for Muriel — “Why baby daughter for leverage; Walt snatching back his car The way “Fifty Shades of don’t you pick one up and he’d order, or execute, hits; keys? The automatic device Grey” is sexy. If your taste in smoke it some time?” — sold a he’d watch as a partner’s in the trunk of his car worked carnal media tends toward lot of cigars in the 1960s. girlfriend dies of an over- extremely well. And having the the vanilla, the movie might But Adams was more than dose; he’d flood New Mexico forethought to poison Lydia seem shocking, revelatory, a looker; her comedy gifts and the world with primo () — well, that pulse-quickening. Other- and especially her singing dope that transforms people Walt thinks of everything. wise, you might view “The deserve rediscovery via this into dangerous criminals; But you’ve gotta hand it to a Canyons” as what happens set, which presents all 21 he’d lie like a rug. series finale that at least tries when a 67-year-old direc- of her 1962-64 variety spe- But darn it, he was our to tie up loose ends and give tor coaxes a 27-year-old cials for the first time since turd. each character a little wave actress — neither of them they originally aired. Some thought “Baby goodbye. A-listers at this point — to It’s a find, a treasure Blue” was a reference to You are often on the edge take off her clothes and trove, because “The Edie the trademark tint of Walt’s of your seat while watching simulate sex on camera, Adams Television Collec- unique brand of ultra-pure these final eight episodes. In with a real-life porn star as tion” makes clear the song- meth, but I believe it all its last lap, the cast has never her leading man. stress’ knack for attracting comes down to the song’s been better: as Shots of derelict movie heavy hitters as guest stars opening lyric: “Guess I got Hank, Walt’s DEA bro-in-law houses lend “The Canyons” — musical giants who didn’t what I deserve.” who finally, finally, puts it all fleeting moments of possi- do just any TV show. When the cops finally together; as Walt’s bility. So does a brief speech Duke Ellington looks close in, that sad smile still comrade-in-cooking Jesse, given by Lindsay Lohan as supercool at 63, leading his lingers on Walt’s face. who irrevocably turns on his Tara, a lost Angeleno living orchestra with easy grace. There have been com- mentor (and probably doesn’t with a pervy, manipulative Then Adams saunters over, plaints that the final yet realize that Walt saved his trust-fund brat (James Deen). hops on his piano — and she half-season of AMC’s crime life during the big shootout); “Do you really like mov- and Duke start swingin’. Her drama “Breaking Bad” — as Skyler, Walt’s ies?” Tara asks a girlfriend duet with Hoagy Carmichael is starring Cranston in the role wife who still has feelings for over lunch. “When’s the comical and casual. Her turn of a lifetime as a chemistry him throughout the worst; RJ last time you went to see a with Eddie Fisher, taped in Las teacher with cancer who Mitte as Junior, the last person movie in the theater?” Vegas, is a show-stopper. transforms into a meth czar to learn the truth about his For a moment, you Other musical guests — was a bit too pat. I agree father; and Bowen, who makes wonder if writer Bret include Count Basie, Bobby that here and there, some poetic a final drag of a ciga- Easton Ellis and director Darin, Sammy Davis Jr., John- plot points were more rette — and a final negotiation. Paul Schrader aren’t onto ny Mathis, Lionel Hampton, convenient than or- Typically for a “Breaking something. “The Canyons” Al Hirt and André Previn. ganic. If I were the Bad” set, “The Final Season” is is about romantic failings at As for the funny, Adams’ crew of Uncle Jack rich with extras. There are fea- the bottom rung of the film impression of Monroe (Michael Bowen), turettes; deleted and extended industry — no-names who (four months before I would never scenes; a gag reel; cast and will trade sexual favors for the actress’ death) is have opened crew commentaries on every a role in a slasher movie. scathing and spot-on, the gate and episode; and a table read. Is a deeper statement be- and she out-Mermans allowed Walt See also a gag alternate ing made about millennial Ethel Merman in a to drive into ending in which Cranston disengagement in the age of hilarious parody. my com- awakes as his old “Malcolm instant gratification? Adams holds pound. in the Middle” character Hal Nah. her own alongside No one beside Jane Kaczmarek, as his Slurring, puffy Lohan looks such comedians as spot- “Malcolm” TV wife Lois. (Get uninterested and sometimes Bob Hope, Rowan ted it? Recycling Bob Newhart’s ill. The nearly nonexistent and Martin (pre- onetime meta finale?) You see, story might as well be corn- “Laugh-In”), Buddy it was all Hal’s nightmare. starch. More compelling, no Hackett, Louis Nye, Alluring, and funny, And, sometimes, ours. doubt, is the real-life drama Alan Sues and Dick songstress Adams Mark Voger: behind this movie. Shawn. [email protected]