New location for Peninsula Public Library Page 4 Rock Ami: from Far Rockaway to Israel Page 7 Shhhh... it’s a shidduch Page 9 Young Israel of Woodmere welcomes new associate rabbi Page 5 THE JEWISH STAR

VOL 9, NO 36 ■ SEPTEMBER 10, 2010 / 2 TISHREI 5771 WWW.THEJEWISHSTAR.COM Struck down Father of four recovering; needs help By Michael Orbach

Ilan Tocker, a father of four from Cedar- hurst, fainted and was badly injured at a kosher restaurant in Atlantic City, N.J., on the night after Tisha B’Av, July 21. The 33- year-old, a popular member of the Young Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst, hit the right side of his head on the restaurant’s marble fl oor. A friend immediately called 911 but noticed that something was seriously wrong only when Tocker, normally very laid back, became aggressive with the paramedics. The aggression, the paramedics explained, was a Photo by Claudio Papapietro sign of brain trauma. Dmitriy Salita, 28, training at Universal Boxing Gym in Ozone Park in June. Salita was born in Odessa, Ukraine, Tocker’s wife, Rachel, immediately drove from the Beaver Lake bungalow colony in up- and moved to Brooklyn as a child. state New York, where the family was spend- ing the summer, to the hospital in Atlantic City. Surgeons there relieved pressure and swelling on Tocker’s brain by removing the right side of his skull, but then they noticed Salita, future rabbi, wins something worse: The left side of his head was also swelling, a sure sign of intracranial bleeding. According to Stacy Mayer, Tocker’s sister-in-law, Rachel was given a stark choice: comeback on home turf “[They could] remove the left side of his skull but there’s only 10 percent chance of survival and, most likely, he will be a vegetable,” May- er recalled being told by the doctors. Or the Brighton Beach brawl ends in decision family could do nothing and Tocker would By Dan Klein Nine months ago, Amir Khan trounced The sold-out event, billed as “Redemp- “pass away in a few hours.” the Ukrainian-born rabbi-in-training in a tion,” featured a very Brooklyn crowd, The family was frozen by the decision. On Sept. 1, boxer and Orthodox semi- match in England. Salita later told Tab- which waited through seven preliminary Tocker’s parents had just made Aliyah three cha student Dmitriy “Star of David” Salita let Magazine that the extremely hostile fi ghts for the main bout. The audience, weeks before and were on the phone with (31-1-1, 16 KOs) pulled out a tough victory crowd was to blame and received some many wearing yarmulkes, some shout- Rachel struggling to decide if it would be by decision over Franklin Gonzalez (13-6, friendly advice: Fight in Brooklyn next ing in Spanish and English at the opening better for their son to die rather than live his 9 KOs) at Brighton Beach’s Oceana Hall. time. Continued on page 3 Continued on page 3

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Photo courtesy of Sara Rosenberg Sara of courtesy Photo Reprinted from Tabletmag.com with Reprinted Tabletmag.com from To donate money to the Ilan Tocker foun- money donate the Ilan Tocker to To ghting Malignaggi and, moreover, to to ghting Malignaggi and, moreover, As for theAs for looks future, while he forward In theIn introspec- was Salita lockerroom, “It’s not to pay for food and electricity food for for pay “It’s to not cated at 501A Central Avenue in Cedarhurst. Avenue Central at 501A cated cookbook is available at Blue Door Books,cookbook is available lo- dation, visit http://ilantockerfoundation.com groove.” He praised the crowd, describing He praised the crowd, groove.” theexperience “theas, o opposite polar “This,” he concluded, “is ght.” the fi [Khan] Brighton Beach.” to fi a rematch with good going Khan, he “feels with this. redeemed.” I feel theinto Yontif the for last of anger had a lot He added, “I’ve nine months.” knocking out someone like Gonzalez.” This knocking Gonzalez.” out someone like ed, because “I live be identifi man refused to Heights, and I just bad-mouthed in Crown euphoric But the mood was general Dmitriy.” with fans. photos as Salita posed for and ex- himself a “C+ or B-,” He gave tive. m get rounds to me a few plained, “It took and follow the “Donate” link. Lake the “Donate” The Beaver and follow at Beaver Lake have begun selling cookbooks have Lake at Beaver they’ve sold his treatment. So far, for pay to 300 of the 500 editions they published and they’ll earnbelieve $8,000 from the close to charitable Through donations the endeavor. $25,000. Tock- has raised close to foundation er’s friends and es- are also selling lulavim his treatment. Any for raise money rogim to medical raised will go strictlymoney towards thereShould extra money be Tocker. for care Shabbos, where Tomchei to it will be donated has been a regular volunteer. Tocker him explained. “It’s get to Mayer the family,” better.” As all three judges ruled 78-74 for Salita, for As all three ruled judges 78-74 The total, by conservative will by estimates, The total, up a set friends have and family Tocker’s Sara Rosenberg began a challah baking campaign for Tocker. for campaign began a challah baking Rosenberg Sara the of trainer Norman advice Lorrick, the on supernova, relying went of David” “Star under Gonzalez’s get to superior footwork and score punishing combinations to guard a the into face. Gonzalez, forced body and pushed repeatedly was strategy, defensive against the at its ropes; his endurance was nal bell rang. ebb when the fi lowest journalists rushedand well-wishers the stage, big-time Malignaggi, a fairly including Paulie Amir who nonetheless also has lost to boxer 1st, round). not Khan (albeit in the 11th, Malignaggi, another local son, congratulated his left with “keep Salita and joked up” him to At ght in 2011. fi to promised the before two there were the outskirts of the ring, however, grumblings about Salita’s performance. “It “Theman. one said issue ght,” fi good a was Salita should be ghter, fi is that be an elite to another daunting challenge: paying for his for anotherpaying challenge: daunting insurance astronomical medical bill. Tocker’s plan on Blue Cross and Blue Shield covered acute of rstdays 30 the surgeries and the fi up. were 30 days Tocker’s 7, care. On Sept. Yom Erev surgerynext The 14, Sept. on is him in the keep hospital for and to Kippur, the raise the to needed extra week, family pro- insurance also only $25,000. Tocker’s one month care and 60 vides for of sub-acute a complete of therapists make days visits; to several require will likely Tocker recovery, months care in a full rehabilita- sub-acute of and a therapisttion center visit every for day the next year. $40,000 a month.be close to Ilantocker- him. A website, for foundation periodic updates provides foundation.com, linksas donate to well as condition his about friends his medical care. Tocker’s for money fth, upon The fi rst four rounds had the crowd won- rounds had therst four crowd The fi With such loftythat mentioned few hopes, After one connected in theAfter one connected third, leav- At the moment, Tocker’s family faces yet faces yet family At the Tocker’s moment, A full recovery for Tocker is a long way is a long way Tocker A full recovery for “He said that she keeps coming into his “He said that coming into she keeps Over the last two months Tocker has has months theOver Tocker last two The surgeryThe theand successful was swell- Within several hours, Tocker’s brain pres- hours,Within Tocker’s several “On Facebook, hundreds of women all hundreds of women “On Facebook, “We were trying to gather 43 women to trying to gather were to 43 women “We Mayer and some friends sent out a mass Mayer ghts, defeated Salita, it would be a major be a major Salita, it would defeated ghts, roadblock to Salita’s “Redemption.” roadblock to if Gonzalez, who had lost his previous three fi the boxer-next-door. “He has to win,” he said, win,” “He has to the boxer-next-door. “It’s his hometown.” ing Salita with a cut under his left half- eye, heartedchants seconds. in faded and rose through the halfway fi However, dering if they would be able to call it a come- call deringto be able if they would back. Gonzalez came out with far more ag- gression than Salita; while they exchanged Salita was numbers of blows, equal roughly Gonzalez visibly on theforced defensive. circling dent while Salita faltered, grew confi the counter to and grappling, unsure how the to (he roundhouses face punishing wild “awkward”). me these tell were later would off but the years, and take family and could his celebrated Tocker are optimistic. doctors birthday 33rd Cen- Medical Sinai Mount at after moved in Manhattan, where he was ter oldest son, Benjamin, the Tocker’s surgeries. him a surprise plans on throwing party as 7, out of the hospital. soon as he gets room to try him and ask him ques- room to talk to to May- that not just is he and tions interested,” er related. beat the odds and is making progress to- taken When he was a full recovery. wards induced coma his eyes out of a medically he began mouth- began tracking. later, Days and he currently talksing words in full sen- with is playing iPhone and his Tocker tences. beating friends On a blog dedicated at cards. he offered to how recounted Mayer Tocker, to out him get anything”to nursea “literally pay of the After hospital. a session witha cogni- and turned his wife to therapisttive Tocker was. who theasked woman ing decreased further. sure began to drop precipitously; so fast, the drop precipitously; sure began to a herniation. it was believe began to doctors that,” anything like saw “The never doctors said. At 3 a.m. when the pressure had Mayer and with level, just a slim a safe decreased to underwent surgery Tocker hope of recovery, theleft remove side of his skull.to said, ‘I will do it,’” Mayer said. “We posted posted said. “We Mayer said, ‘I will do it,’” on posting pictures recipes... and people kept who don’t know of their challah. Women challahbaked in who [Ilan] is, who never Ilan.” for their all baked lives, bake in his zechus [merit],” Mayer explained. his zechus in bake [merit],” Mayer What happened surprised them. text message asking people to say tehillim. tehillim. say asking people to message text She called the of Bingham- rabbi of Chabad with close in her college ton, whom she was a group and arranged for to of people days, the course of 24 over read the entire Tehillim hours. Another friend, de- Sara Rosenberg, begin a challah group,cided to placing hope in a Kabalistic belief that baking challah for help him. would sake Tocker’s Shabbos for “We all began praying at that point... We that at all began praying We point... “We thinking the his funeral about going to were next day.”

However, many, like Reuvain Stoll of Stoll Reuvain like many, However, Many, like Salita’s friend Chaim Tovshteyn Salita’s friend like Chaim Tovshteyn Many, The family waited for several hours and several for waited The family “It looked very“It looked grim,” recalled Michal “The swelling was so high that was “The if it goes swelling

einstein of Woodmere, a friend of the fam- of Woodmere, einstein atched the nor read in sixty years news he pressure in Tocker’s skull had skyrock- he pressure in Tocker’s rayed. ne point higher he’ll be brain dead,” Mayer Mayer ne point higher he’ll be brain dead,” ut impossible. ecame moot as the as ecame moot worsened. dire situation ted, making furtherted, surgery at that time all ag that was later taken into the ring into with taken thatag later was ecalled. ife unconscious. Moments later the Moments later unconscious. decision ife ly who drove with Lake. Rachel who drove ly from Beaver Continued from page 1 page Continued from Continued from page 1 page from Continued Crown Heights, were there simply to support to there simply were Heights, Crown can fi ght back and win.” can fi the strength of the people: That they Jewish Barney Ross) suggested, “If he wins, it means Barney suggested, Ross) Douglas Century’s Nextbook Press biography, Douglas Century’s Press biography, Nextbook w fl has neither (who apparently Salita. “David” Jewish world.” “David” was waving an Israeli waving was “David” world.” Jewish to prove his professional identity in a non- identity his professional prove to through with adversity identity his Jewish nian-born Brooklynite said. “He strugglednian-born Brooklynite a kindred spirit. the “He’s me,” Ukrai- like saw in the newly junior middleweight boxer boxer junior middleweight in thesaw newly fered was why. why. was fered win, but that win. Where they dif- he had to boxers, all agreed not only that Salita would that all agreed only Salita would not boxers, Salita, future rabbi, wins boxing comeback comeback wins boxing rabbi, future Salita,

son. son. Ilan Tocker in a skating rink with his in a skating Ilan Tocker Father of four recovering; needs help needs recovering; four of Father W i p r o b T e l b 4 Deal for the books Peninsula Library intends to

THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH buy land on Central Avenue By Mayer Fertig “The Nassau library system publishes per capita square footage per library and we are Peninsula Public Library and Temple Israel of dead last in Nassau County,” she said. Lawrence have signed a letter of intent for the It’s been 13 years since the Peninsula Public Li- library to buy several pieces of property from brary won approval of a bond to cover the cost of the congregation totaling a parcel large enough putting up a new, larger building. Since then there for a three-story, 30,000 square foot library and have been a number of delays and false starts, adequate off-street parking. most recently a several-years-long fl irtation with The library board and the board of the Re- the Village of Lawrence over a piece of property it form temple at 140 Central Avenue made a deal owns adjacent to the LIRR station there. after the JCC of the Greater Five Towns, which “Our board has worked very hard for a very rents classroom space from Temple Israel, de- long time and we are very excited that we fi nally

September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 2 TISHREI 5771 2010 10, September cided to not exercise an option to purchase a have a site that we think can be beautiful and portion of the temple’s property. adequate to meet the needs of the community,” “I approached the library and asked them if said Lepelstat. they would be interested in looking at part of A number of regulatory hurdles must be

400717 our front lawn and at our offsite parking,” said crossed, including an environmental review. James Rotenberg, the president of Temple Israel While the library is not subject to local zoning of Lawrence. The congregation owns several laws, answering instead to the NYS Department adjacent homes on Fulton Street that would be of Education, Lepelstat pledged that the library razed for parking. “It was a quick process and a would be “a good neighbor.” friendly process and a win-win for the temple The library and an architect are working on and for the library. We’re the people of the book a building design to present to the public before and this is a perfect partnership.” seeking a bond issue for construction. The temple sanctuary and other facilities In an interview on Friday, Sept. 3, library would not be impacted by new construction. president Joseph Fuller told The Jewish Star, The search for a bigger, better Peninsula Pub- “The fact that it’s taking place the week before lic Library has been underway practically since Rosh Hashanah, to me it’s symbolic that we can it opened its doors in 1961, said Joan Lepelstat, start a new year with a big step forward and vice president of the library’s Board of Trustees. hopefully by this time next year we’ll have ac- The current building is the smallest library in complished a lot in terms of providing a new Nassau county when measured by the number library for this district.” of people it serves. Holiday fi tness SUMMER SELF New thinking for a new year By Ian Digiacomo etables in this category include celery, carrots, STORAGE Special Rosh Hashanah, all the holidays that fol- broccoli, spinach, caulifl ower, cabbage, turnip, low, and Shabbat year-round, pose challenges onion, zucchini, and cucumber. Now keep in to health and fi tness, and weight loss. Massive mind, how you prepare them may completely Need More Space? meals, hours in shul and Shabbat naps equal void this entire concept, so easy on the oil. Fruits much less physical activity than usual. that enjoy the same effect are apples, honeydew, Many people get carried away with the papaya, blueberries, strawberries, tangerine, amount of food they consume and the choices mango, cantaloupe, and grapefruit. they make. It is only natural to want to clean As far as challah and honey goes, just re- GET THE your dessert plate and ask for more. Unfortu- member: moderation. Take small pieces of nately with these meals comes a slight or per- challah and do not slather them in honey and haps signifi cant weight gain. I am not saying, do you’ll be fi ne. Also, keep water intake high and not enjoy yourself over the holidays. However, eat healthier foods fi rst, so you won’t be raven- weight gain can be lessened or avoided with a ous when you are thinking of taking yet another ST few modifi cations to the overall holiday meal ex- piece of challah and honey, or other sweet foods perience and if you are trying to lose weight or that lead to extra pounds. thinking about starting a fi tness program there For physical activity, I recommend leaving month are certain things you should keep in mind. early for shul and taking a much longer walk- There are many options in front of you when ing route than you normally would. Those extra 1 you sit down at the dinner table. However, steps will add up, and make sure to bring a bot- while some can actually help speed up your tle of water with you. Even before you start your metabolism, others can send you into a fat stor- day, take a chair and sit down, then stand up, ing frenzy. For example, there are a number of twenty or more times. If you do not exercise at fruits and vegetables that require your body to all this may cause you to breathe a little heavier burn more calories in order to digest them, than or even break a sweat. If you do exercise regular- FREEWith a minimum of a 3 month agreement they are actually worth in calories. These are ly this may not be challenging enough to inspire not to be combined with any other offer. referred to as “negative calorie foods.” An ex- a metabolic response. However, increasing your cellent idea to keep in the back of your mind is activity level on and around these holidays will that a piece of cake that may contain +500 calo- help decrease the effects of overwhelming meals ries, will require your body to use less than half and additional snacks. of that amount in calories to digest it. On the Knowing a few hints and tricks to keep the other hand a celery stalk that is valued between weight off during the holidays is one thing, put- fi ve and 10 calories will take many more calo- ting them to use is a whole other story. Now it’s up ries — much more energy — to break it down to you. Have a happy and a healthy New Year. and extract the nutrients from it. The concept 381734 BIG BOB'S SELF STORAGE is to ultimately have your food work for you to Ian Digiacomo, AAPTE, ISSE, LMA offers help you lose weight. Imagine eating an entire personal training sessions at Healthtrax 2 Endo Blvd., Garden City • 516-227-0200 meal and actually having a net loss of calories in Garden City and at Legacy Fitness located 1 block south of Stewart Avenue, just west of the Meadowbrook Parkway (Exit 3M) Adjacent to north campus of Nassau Community College. Offer Expires 10-01-10. that will tap into your fat stores and put you that above Brach’s Supermarket in Lawrence. He much closer to being one waist size down. Veg- can be reached at [email protected]. 5 Rabbi Sholom Axelrod THE JEWISH STAR Young Israel of Woodmere welcomes new associate rabbi By Michael Orbach my experience in Great Neck was that a rabbi

can enjoy a very beautiful relationship with As of Sunday, Rabbi Sholom Axelrod is of- the congregation, that has an impact and is September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 fi cially the associate rabbi at the Young Israel profound, both in terms of the infl uence the of Woodmere. rabbi has in the lives of his congregants and “It’s defi nitely a challenge to get to know all the things that a rav can learn from his everyone,” Rabbi Axelrod admitted on join- tzibur,” Rabbi Axelrod explained. ing the largest Young Israel in the United He says he is looking forward to “mak- States, with more than 900 member families. ing a positive contribution” in Woodmere by His previous position as assistant rabbi of the adding several learning programs and shi- Great Neck Synagogue, a shul with 600 fami- urim to the schedule. Additionally, he hopes lies, was good preparation, he added. to “build upon the sense of community that “I saw you could have a very personal already exists.” relationship with your congregation,” Rabbi “We’d like to take it to other levels,” Rabbi Axelrod said. “It can be done especially when Axelrod asserted. He succeeds Rabbi Kalman you’re working with a very good rabbinic Topp who accepted a position in the Los An- team that can see to the needs of the shul geles-area last year. members. That was one of the reasons why Rabbi Hershel Billet said he is looking for- [Young Israel of Woodmere] interested me.” ward to having Rabbi Axelrod and his wife at Rabbi Axelrod also praised the rabbi of the Young Israel of Woodmere. the Great Neck Synagogue, Rabbi Dale Po- “They bring fresh energy, new ideas, and lakoff, with whom he worked since 2001. great enthusiasm to our shul and entire com- “Rabbi Polakoff was a true mentor in my rab- munity,” Rabbi Billet said. binic career,” Rabbi Axelrod explained. “He’s Rabbi Axelrod views the move as a like a rabbi’s rabbi.” homecoming of sorts, he said. His mother To prepare for his new post Rabbi Axelrod and grandmother are both from Far Rocka- spent three weeks in Israel with his family for way and two of his brothers live in the Five the bar mitzvah of his oldest son. Towns. “It was very meaningful,” he explained. Photo by Andrew Vardakis “My children are enjoying being in close “There was a lot of time to recharge in antici- Rabbi Sholom Axelrod with Young Israel of Woodmere President Shlomo Zuller. proximity to their family,” he said. pation for the new position.” Rabbi Axelrod said he’s looking forward to working with the other rabbis in the com- Rabbi Axelrod and his wife, Ruchi, bring a at Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh for a year, then Axelrod also worked as the youth director for munity. full house with them to Woodmere, kein ayin went on to Yeshiva University where he re- the merged youth divisions of Young Israel of “They have built a model community for horah, including Kayla, 15; Eli, 13; Shani, 11; ceived semicha and a Masters in Jewish edu- Queens Valley and the Young Israel of Kew the American-Jewish scene,” he said. Shira, 9; Tamar, 5; and Nomi, 3. cation. He learned in the YU kollel for a year Gardens Hills. In 2001, he became assistant Rabbi Axelrod was born and raised in Kew before joining the faculty of Rambam Mesivta rabbi at the Great Neck Synagogue. Gardens Hills. After high school he learned in Lawrence in 1995. During that time, Rabbi “I think the biggest thing I learned from

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450 Central Avenue • Cedarhurst • (516) 374-9546 MON.-TUES. 9-6 • WED.-THURS. 9-7 • FRI. 9-5 • SUN. 10-5 400680 6 He has a long road ahead but with our prayers and G-ds help he will return to his family healthy September ON THE & whole again. 9-10 Free Rosh Hashana Calendar September THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH Program at the Allegria Submit your shul or organization’s events or shiurim to [email protected]. 26 Hotel Deadline is Wednesday of the week prior to publication. THE BACH JEWISH CENTER in Long Beach will hold Simchat Beit Hashoeva in a free Rosh Hashana program at the Allegria Hotel complete with explanatory services. Pre- Cedarhurst Park registration is required and preferred seating is HOLIDAY FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY! Join available for $100 per seat. A babysitting service Chabad of the Five Towns for live music, dancing, will be available. For more information call 516- & entertainment by the Amazing Modern Gypsies. 897-2473 or go to www.AllegriaHighHolidays.com This show is a dream like world of visual arts and dangerous stunts including Bubble Boy, Fire Manipulation, Flag Juggling & more. Celebrate with your feet as we dance to invigorating Jew- ish music with Azamra DJ. Rain date, September September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 2 TISHREI 5771 2010 10, September September 27. Between 5:30-8:00 p.m. 13 Yom Iyun Going to Israel for AGUDATH ISRAEL OF AMERICA AND THE MANHAT- TAN BEACH JEWISH CENTER present Rabbi Eliezer Sukkot? Feuer, rabbi of the Young Israel of Wavecrest Photo courtesy of CTeens THE SUKKOT HOLIDAYS are fi lled with fun and & Bayswater, speaking on the nationwide Yom Close to 30 teenagers gathered for Chabad CTeen’s fi rst event on Sept. 2. The exciting kids and teen events in Jerusalem. Enjoy Iyun theme “Achieving holiness in the Jewish program takes local teens to volunteer around Long Island. outdoor children’s theater (Sept 26-28th) at the home.” The lecture will take place at 8 p.m. at the Botanical Gardens, Visit the “Lab” (September 24- Manhattan Beach Jewish Center at 60 West End many fascinating topics that Rav Shteinman 28) for a collection of enjoyable kids plays, enjoy Avenue in Brooklyn. covers is, “When a child behaves in a negative the Sukkot Festival at Ein Yael (Sept 26-28) with way, how should a parent deal with it in the most September art workshops and an authentic Roman “Shuk”, constructive way?” Another question that is see the newly Remodeled Israel Museum and Parkinson’s Support dealt with is, “How can parents and mechanchim 19 enjoy a great recycle workshop in the Youth Wing instill a ‘geshmak’ for learning in our children and dramatic gallery tours for kids, join the City Group and students?” Lulov and Esrog of David “Dig It” program if you like to search THE JCC OF THE GREATER FIVE TOWNS, located The video will be accompanied by parent- PURCHASE YOUR LULAV AND ESROG at the for real artifacts from the earth dug out of the at 207 Grove avenue in Cedarhurst, hosts every ing lectures from acclaimed speakers at two Weinstein house, located at 33 North Wood Temple Mount, March with local Jerusalemites Tuesday a Parkinson’s Support Group from 11 a.m. locations. On Tuesday, September 14th, Rabbi Lane in Woodmere, and a large percentage of in the annual Jerusalem March, Join thousands to 2:00 p.m. The purpose of this group is to bring Fishel Schachter, maggid shiur, Yeshiva Torah the proceeds will be donated to the Ilan Tocker of people at the western Wall as the Cohanim together Parkinsonians, spouses and their fami- Vodaas, will deliver a special presentation on Foundation. bless the nation, enjoy the amazing view of the lies in order to help them better understand the parenting. The program, entitled “Parent & Child: Pre-order by messaging Asher Meckler or Western Wall at the 2nd Temple Model on the nature of the condition, gain confi dence and join A Match Made in Heaven” will feature ideas, emailing [email protected]. Receive a $5 roof of the Aish Hatorah building in the Old City, in community activities. For further information, techniques and inspiration for parents to help discount ($70 instead of $75) if you preorder by Learn about Jerusalem through the ages as you please contact Cathy Byrne at 569-6733x220. children achieve their full potential. The event September 8. No need to pay in advance. When take a ride on the Time Elevator or watch the begins 8:20 pm in Flatbush at the Agudah of preordering, please specify if you want an etrog Night Spectacular at the Tower of David, enjoy Ave. L, Bais Binyamin (corner of Avenue L and with or without a pitom. a scavenger hunt in English at the Museum of Nostrand Avenue). Chinuch (student) sets are $35 and must be Underground Prisoners as you learn about the September In the Five Towns the following evening, preordered by September 8. Underground fi ghters who fought in 1948 (Sept Wednesday, September 15th, lecturer Rabbi The brand new Beaver Lake Cookbook will 26-28), play a video game “Catch the Counterfeit” Jonathan Rietti will speak on the topic of “Rais- also be available for sale for $18 with 100% of at the Bank of Israel Visitors center (Reserva- 14-15 ing Our Children to be Ehrlicher Yidden.” It will the proceeds going to the foundation as well. tions Required). For a full list of fun activities take place in Congregation Shaaray Tefi la at 25 It’s a must have for the holidays and is fi lled visit www.FunInJerusalem.com An evening of Chizuk Central Avenue, Lawrence, 8:20 pm. To contribute ACHEINU WILL PRESENT “An Evening of Chizuk with quick, easy and delicious recipes. Join the to Acheinu or for additional information about and Chinuch,” featuring a video presentation of Beaver Lake Cookbook group on Facebook. You these events, please call 877-5-ACHEINU. HaGaon HaRav Aharon Leib Shteinman, shlita, on can reserve a copy as well by emailing michal- the diffi cult questions of raising and educating [email protected] or messaging Michal Weinstein our children in today’s environment. Among the on FB. Don’t forget to keep Tzvi Ilan Ben Gitta in your Tefi lot this Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur. QUALITY PRINTING ale a div. of Richner Communications, Inc Got a problem? S • 81/2 X 11 FLYERS • 50# Offset • 4 Color Process Ask Aviva, the Jewish Star's advice columnist • 2 Sided Printing No setup charges if fi les are prepared in PDF format • Bleeds add just $6 per M. [email protected]. • 60# coated 2 side stock, add just $15 per M. 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September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 Gershon Veroba, a Far Rockaway resident, is so much a local booster that he named his production company Town 6 Entertainment. So why would he go to the trouble of produc- ing a concert in a venue 6,000 miles away? “A lot of Americans are in Israel for Suk- kos, both visitors and yeshiva kids,” Veroba told The Jewish Star. “I wanted to offer wholesome entertainment for yeshiva kids that would attract Americans tourists as well. A concert offering quality music, but in Is- rael, where music is truly appreciated.” That’s how Rock Ami (Rock My Nation) was born last year, and the formula worked. Veroba teamed up with an Israeli producer, RNY Productions, and featured performanc- es by the Moshav Band, SoulFarm, Yossi Photo courtesy Town 6 Entertainment Piamenta and by Veroba himself. Over 700 Gershon Veroba onstage, above, with acoustic guitar and at far right. people attended and the concert was so suc- cessful, Veroba recalled, that long after the music ended, large circles of people still sat Veroba has big hopes for the Rock Ami solo debut, Man to Man, in 1983, made him explaining that he felt he had taken that par- on the fl oor singing. festival which will also feature street per- the fi rst Jewish music artist to perform all the ticular style of music as far as he could. His “People in Israel are connecting with their formers, local artists and family activities. vocals and instruments on an album. He re- most recent album was the a cappella “Little core,” Veroba continued. “No more secrets, “I hope this grows and grows till we out- corded the album himself in his home. David,” released in 2009. Veroba also regu- no more worrying about what people will grow this stadium and move on to a bigger Veroba is best known to some fans for his larly performs with high end simcha bands. think. So when they go to a concert, they are venue,” he said. Jewish-themed parodies of popular songs. Rabbi Eytan Feiner, rav of the White Shul, happy to sing along, something they would With appearances on over 50 Jewish al- One of his more popular tunes was a take praised Veroba’s music, describing it as an never do in the States, because they feel less bums, Veroba’s is one of the most storied ca- on Billy Joel’s “Piano Man,” titled “Chazan “intricate tapestry woven from widespread inhibited in Israel.” reers in Jewish music. The son of a mixed Man.” Both Paul Simon and Ringo Starr have diversity.” Rock Ami 2010 takes the stage at Jerusa- marriage between a chazan (his father) and heard Veroba’s parodies and said they liked “It is music that moves you with lyrics that lem’s Kraft Stadium on Sept. 28, with a line- an opera singer (his mother), Veroba’s music them, he said. Knowledgeable listeners to his captivate and stir the soul to really think,” up that includes SoulFarm, Hamakor, Y-Love, career began in high school when he record- “Variations” series recognize the musician- Rabbi Feiner said. Sabbo and Veroba’s fellow-Far Rockaway ed his fi rst song. He offi cially hit the Jewish ship Veroba demonstrated in recreating the “Music can be like a good sefer,” Veroba resident, guitarist Aryeh Kunstler. music scene in 1983, appearing on an album original music. maintains. “In Israel they aren’t afraid to use with his band The Jewish Blues. Veroba’s He has ended his parody project, he said, music to deliver a meaningful message.” Ram tough

It was against the rules for Mary’s little lamb to follow her to school, as the song clearly explains, but fewer restrictions apparently govern rams — at least at the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett, where Pre-1A students learned where shofars come from. (l-r) Rabbi Yoni Goldschein, Rabbi Morde- chai Kamenetzky, and Rebbe Eli Her- zberg.

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With the Yomim Nora’im here it is appro- duct. THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH priate for me to suggest a book that could Business Ethics — truth and deception serve as a year-round resource for teshuva in the marketplace. (repentance), study and self-improvement. Each chapter begins with a basic intro- The headline echoes our holiday liturgy duction of the subject matter followed by and teachings: ethics and halacha go hand several questions that set up the discus- in hand as the expected behavioral modes sions to follow. This, in turn, is followed for the proper observance of our faith. Our with a list and texts that draw from the relationships with G-d and with other peo- whole gamut of Jewish law sources. A full ple should govern our day-to-day lives and discussion section follows, that enhances actions. An excess of literature supports the practical aspects of the issues being dis- these faith-based teachings but I would like cussed. Extensive notes give the reader the to suggest one particu- opportunity to perform their own research lar work that will en- later. This makes this book an excellent text able you to keep your for both individual and group study.

September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 2 TISHREI 5771 2010 10, September pledge of teshuva in Both Rabbi Herring and his publisher, the new year. Ktav, deserve our gratitude for not only pre- “Jewish Ethics and senting a high quality work, but for re-issu- Halachah For Our ing this study at a time when others would Time” [Ktav, 1984], have held back due to the adverse economic authored by Rabbi Ba- situation that the Jewish publishing industry sil Herring, a resident now faces. of the Five Towns, has A work of a different kind that deals with been recently reissued. the study of mussar was also published this Alan Jay Gerber It will reinforce just month. “Every Day, Holy Day” [Trumpeter about every worth- Book, 2010], is the latest from Alan Morinis, while shiur and drasha founder of the Mussar Institute. that you have encoun- This unique soft-cover book lists 26 ethi- tered in this season. cal topics and is organized for each of the Rabbi Herring, a former rav of the Atlan- 365 days of the year. Each day has readings tic Beach Jewish Center and currently the in our daily lives, whether personal or com- tice, research and self-endangerment, organ and teachings that can be read as a supple- executive vice president of the Rabbinical munal or in the headlines. transplantation and euthanasia. ment to prayer and learning. The selections Council of America, offers an in-depth study Organized under four basic categories, Law and Public Policy — legal counsel are literate and timely and address our spiri- of relevant sources and commentaries con- these are issues that cannot be ignored by and the truth, violence in self-defense and in tual needs in a learned and sophisticated cerning just about every major ethical issue clergy or layman. defense of others, and capital punishment. manner. addressed in our religious teachings and ev- The categories are: Psychosocial Ethics — parents and chil- ery major ethical problem that we encounter Bio-Ethics — abortion, medical prac- dren, and issues involving sexual miscon- South Shore TheThe Neuropsychiatric Center Finally, an alternative to anti depressants medication and ECT: Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) Therapy. Find out more about us at www.southshoretms.com • 40 minute outpatient procedure • No side effects such as %' ', $%#(') "&$ & weight gain or sexual '#""#("'#$""##(%"* #-#" # " & " ) "'%'" "%' ', dysfunction associated %# ! '&! $ &''## !'! $ +&& # &' with anti-depressants #%#)%,%& " $,#('##)%#! '# # * " # " '# "& • Safe and effective U "+$ " "%'U '# ', %"%' ', U &# % %&# #U( )( '# " # • Administered by Licensed U (%%"'$ %U"#! "", '%#&&# && professionals trained in U%! '(%! "#$(&U "' &#% %& TMS Therapy # %,# (%# ")""&%)&# %"%' ', " ( " " '# -# " &( ) ''# &'& " Edward Fruitman, MD. ( '%&# (" &" # # '&'" %$ %# ) Medical Director at South Shore '# (%# " & " # '# ",# (%'%," Neuropsychiatric Center '#),* " $ and Board Certifi ed Psychiatrist 1451 Broadway Hewlett, NY 11557

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The Secret Service September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 recently saw an advertisement from a dat- closest to them (or those who should be clos- tire demographic of parents worth catering If close relationships have become some- ing service that offered to help parents est to them) in that the latter are unshakably to. What’s really needed here is not a way what strained because of wayward attempts I fi nd a match for their children without convinced that they know what is best for the for parents to fi nagle a date for their child to help, the solution is not to continue trying, the parents’ involvement being known. single, and also fail to respect boundaries in without their involvement being known, but covertly. The solution is to uncover what the This is behavior that would never fl y in the relationship. The relationship being as for parents to remain as trusted fi gures — as true source of the strain is, genuinely respect other aspects of life and relationships that close as it is actually leads to an overstepping the MOST trusted fi gures — in a child’s life the needs and desires of the single, and help strangely enough becomes mainstream in of bounds, which leads to a backlash, and even as he reaches adulthood and carves out in a way that everyone can feel good about it. shidduchim. If we ultimately the relationship becomes more a life of his own. This is a far greater fulfi llment of the mitzvah know about a job open- distant than it ideally should be. Those who The shidduch world is fi lled with deceit, to marry off one’s children, and surely one IN MY VIEW ing that might be of in- should be trusted the most have secrecy, duplicity, manipulation, that few children would object to. terest to someone, we the most ability to cause and personal agendas that Most people would really prefer for those have no problem telling pain — sometimes have nothing to do with closest to them to be the shaliach (messen- him or her about it di- because they care the best interests of ger) if a shaliach is needed. We only “fi re” rectly, even if that last TOO much, and singles. Now parents those closest to us, with great sadness, if suggestion didn’t work try TOO hard can pay a service they repeatedly let us down and misuse their out so well. If we have — and ultimate- to engage in such closeness. The spurned parent shouldn’t hire a professional reference ly become the practices presum- a puppet to keep doing the same job, but that might be valuable least trusted of ably for the best should genuinely earn back the position. to someone, we don’t all. interests of their It’s very unlikely that they lost it through no fi nd someone else to The problem children. I wouldn’t wrongdoing of their own, and also unlikely discreetly tell him or is that the parents go so far as to call that this wrongdoing cannot be rectifi ed. her about it. Yet when still want to try, and this a mitzvah coming Let us take deception and manipulation it comes to shidduchim marrying off the child is about through a sin, but out of the shidduch world and replace it with Chananya no one fi nds cloak-and- one of the mitzvos that is in- it’s not far removed from the honesty, communication, trust, and sensitiv- Weissman dagger games of this cumbent on a father. So while I can under- concept. ity. This will bear fruit long before the wed- nature abnormal. stand the child telling his parents to stay out There may indeed be cases ding, and the shidduchim that result will be I think this under- of it, I can also understand the parents con- where the parents really have blessed with a strong, reliable foundation. scores an interesting social phenomenon that tinuing to work behind the scenes. I’m not a good suggestion and must use a has taken place possibly for the fi rst time ever saying who’s right and who’s wrong — that third-party to present the idea for it to even Rabbi Chananya Weissman is the founder in our generation: many single adults are re- all depends on the situation — but I under- be considered. It’s not immoral to try to help of endthemadness.org, a volunteer effort sistant to their parents suggesting a shidduch stand the dynamic. someone this way if one is really helping and to rehabilitate the culture of the shidduch for them. What’s sad is that this disconnect has be- there simply is no other way. But for the vast world and hotkiddush.com, a revolutionary It’s easy to understand why. Often there come such a widespread phenomenon that majority of people this should not be neces- networking site for Orthodox Jews. He may be is a big disconnect between singles and those an opportunistic dating service sees an en- sary. contacted at [email protected].

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THE JEWISH STAR THE JEWISH Self-control, success and marshmallows, Part I

By Penina Zilberberg life when faced with stress and challenges, were less likely to achieve long-term goals, It’s the Sunday before the start of school. and were more likely to have higher body- You’re inching down Central Avenue in heavy mass-index, or to be overweight. In contrast, traffi c looking for parking with your hungry, the group of children who were able to delay cranky preschool kids in the back seat. The had SAT scores that were higher by an aver- plan: lunch, then shoes, then a backpack, age of 210 points, and had better careers. then whatever your kids’ teachers decided to If we think for a moment about what the

September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 2 TISHREI 5771 2010 10, September add to the school supply list at the last min- ability to delay gratifi cation means, these re- ute. As you try to concentrate on fi nding that sults shouldn’t surprise us. Delaying gratifi ca- elusive spot amid the whining from the back tion is to ignore the reward you can get right of the car, one of your children holds up a now (it may be food, a game, or some other lint covered lollypop that he managed to ex- pleasant reward) in order to get something tract from the nether regions of your car and even better later. Success in life — be it ob- asks “Can I have a lolly?” Your child knows taining a medical degree, developing and per- that there is no eating before lunch, and vio- fecting an artistic talent, starting a business lating that rule means no or building a strong family ice cream for dessert. But — depends to a large part your child is hot and hun- on the ability to delay im- gry. And he’s four. If the child who is mediate pleasure for your How to respond? While ultimate goal. Mischel’s Photo courtesy HAFTR we all understand the im- study is simply telling us portance of setting limits able to delay his that a child who tends to Learning for a year and being consistent with do what is easier or more Ariel Stern (left) and Ben Kestenbaum with Rabbi Gedaliah Oppen our children, the reality is gratifi cation is fun and, say, skip home- shortly before the two recent graduates of Hebrew Academy of the Five that giving in, especially work for more TV time, is Towns and Rockaway (HAFTR) departed for a year of Torah study at in moments like these, is more likely to avoid the Yeshiva Netiv Aryeh. often the only way to get more likely to grow hard work necessary to ac- things done. However, complish anything of value there may be a lot more as an adult. at stake in that hectic into a successful If the child who is able moment than you might to delay his gratifi cation, think. adult... what does or wait for a reward, is $#'&$$%%&% For a long time, there more likely to grow into has been a lot of attention a self-confi dent and suc- 8 on IQ or raw intelligence this say about us cessful adult than the child as the most important who seems unable to do so, % " variable that predicts fu- as parents? what does this mean to us, ture success in life. This as parents? Are our brains (0(/+3( (7+00+ seemed logical enough; if “hard-wired” so that we one was lucky enough to inherit strong genes are destined to be either gluttonous failures for intelligence, he would have the ability or disciplined superstars? In other words, are or potential to learn quickly, retain what he self-control and the ability to delay gratifi - learned, use prior knowledge to negotiate cation genetically determined? The marsh- novel situations and be successful. But what mallow study hinted at a possible answer. It if I told you that another characteristic is even turns out that the children who successfully more important than intelligence? According delayed eating the marshmallow did not sim- to research done by Walter Mischel at Stan- ply stare at it for 15 minutes. Instead, what ford University beginning in the 1960’s, the separated the delayers from the non-delayers ability to delay gratifi cation, or self-control, was their use of strategies, such as turning + 3 + 3 + ( 4 + $ 1 + ( 4 + $ 1 can be even more important than raw intel- their chair around so they were not look- " 13 " 13 ligence. In fact, a person’s intelligence can be ing at it, covering their eyes, singing songs, disabled or limited by his or her inability to and other self-distraction techniques. The delay gratifi cation. children who did better were the ones who Mischel designed a simple study to as- had an understanding of self-control; they sess the ability of young children to delay understood that they needed to put their at- '%&! % gratifi cation: 4-year-old children were left tention elsewhere. Furthermore, when the ( 3- .,6+ %,25310,) !.()-!.()- 2++* in a room with one marshmallow and were researchers suggested that the children use - $ , +3( /,)!3( -+4 -$, told that if they wanted to eat the marshmal- strategies, such as pretending it was a picture # "! ' (!"!% low, they could (immediate gratifi cation), of a marshmallow instead of an actual edible # ! $"! ' (!"!& but if they could wait until the researcher marshmallow, those children were better returned, they would get two marshmallows able to delay. #! # " instead (a better reward later; delayed grati- This suggests that the children who suc- # " ) fi cation). About one third of the children ate ceeded at the test knew something the other the marshmallow right away; about one third kids didn’t. And if that’s the case, it suggests # " ) 13 tried to wait, but ended up eating it before further that parents have the power to teach #! #9"! 6: 6 the researcher returned; and about one third their kids techniques and strategies to help " #9 were able to wait the 15 minutes, and got the them develop this crucial character trait. extra reward. Not very surprising. Any parent Some of these techniques and strategies will knows that some children can delay gratifi ca- be the topic of a future column. 185 W. Sunrise Hwy tion and some simply can’t. What is surpris- Freeport, NY ing, however, is the association of this ability Dr. Penina Zilberberg is a licensed with success later on in life. Follow-up on clinical psychologist specializing in those same children decades later revealed children and adolescents with a private 877-443-3829 that the group that could not delay their eat- practice in Cedarhurst, NY. She can be southshoreporsche.com

ing of the marshmallow, struggled later in reached at [email protected]. ' 9 8 < 6 :: ; 3 36 ( 83! 65 65* 399589 , + , (0 3 :( " % /24 33&8( 7)#( 9 6 = 33&896(.: 684 9 6 > - 6 3 5 < "66 :: < ;336 ( ( /2-$ ( 11 Rosh Hashanah 1 348= : 3 38< THE JEWISH STAR / Yom Hazikaron:

remembering what? September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 rguably the most enigmatic of the bered.” This rounds out the greater pic- names of Rosh Hashanah is Yom ture of the Torah and Haftarah readings AHazikaron. It is the concluding of the day. The first day’s Torah reading phrase of most of the blessings unique to demonstrates Sarah’s joy over the birth the day, and it is also the inserted phrase of her son Yitzchak. The first day’s Haf- in Yaaleh V’yavo and kiddush. tarah reading is the story of Chana. The What is being remembered and who is Haftarah relates how Rachel cried for her remembering? children, and how Ephraim, her “chosen” When one reads through the selichot, grandson, will be remembered by G-d. particularly those of the Aseret Y’mei Tes- However, the story lines blur when huvah, you can’t help notice the constant we actually compare the stories. Sarah mention of the Akeidah story, which also yearned for a child for many years, and is the Torah reading for the second day eventually gave Avraham her maid as a An absolute must-see for any parent or Mechanach. of Rosh Hashanah, as spouse so a child could be brought into well as an oft-repeat- the family. Rachel brought Bilhah into ed shout-out to the the relationship with her husband for a “Bris Avraham.” similar anticipated outcome. < In essence, it In a different parallel, Rachel had to < 4? 3283 2 @ 3:<'+ seems, the Day of Re- sit and watch while her rival wife, her sis- membrance is for G-d ter Leah, gave birth to child after child. to recall why He loves Chana, also the preferred wife in a po- : 38 < 48 31< = 3 48 < 3 us so much. He loves lygamous marriage, similarly watched the Jewish people be- her rival wife Peninah give birth to 10 4> 3<9? 8% 916 ? @ 3 4> 380@ / cause He loved our children. forefathers: Avraham, It could not have been easy for Chana Yitzchak and Yaakov. or for Rachel. Yet they both took matters Rabbi Avi Billet He committed to a into their own hands when they real- special relationship ized their husband would be of no help with them and their in their attempts to reach their goal of descendants. motherhood, of creating life. The story of the Akeidah, the binding 5 Chana offered the anticipated child of Yitzchak, is also something we want G- to G-d and promised that his hair would d to recall on this holy day. Recall the ul- never be cut. Rabbi Yaakov Medan points timate sacrifice of the out that Yosef, Ra- most devout Jew who chel’s son, is called a ever lived. The Gema- “N’zir echav” (Bereishit D< 9: 41D ra (Sanhedrin 111a) In essence, the Day 49:26) and may have recalls one of G-d’s la- also been a product of 91 ments when He is con- a prayer and a promise fronted by Moshe. G-d of Remembrance to not have his hair cut, 3@ says “How I miss those for him to be dedicated who are gone but not to G-d. forgotten!” Transla- is for G-d to recall Whether it is a les- D2 < 3D tion: Avraham and son of how to pray, or a the other forefathers why He loves us lesson of complete de- ? A '+ took my instruction votion and dedication and never complained to G-d and doing His about anything. With so much. He loves will, on Rosh Hasha- D 91 < 498D Avraham, the first of nah we are meant to the lot, there were no learn from these great 1A< questions asked. Avra- the Jewish people fathers and mothers ham was willing to of our people. It is not (+1 give up the son he had “only” the fathers or yearned for his entire because he loved our “only” the mothers; life in order to serve both men and women D: 9 7 D 718.377.4567 G-d. forefathers. play a pivotal role in Yitzchak too un- how this day turns out , /* + / 2C- /( & / derwent tremendous for themselves and for stress in order to achieve his maximum our collective people as a whole. D1 D Marketing Group potential. Sacrificing yourself is not easy, Let us pray that this Rosh Hashanah but he was ready to do it in deference to be a successful one for all of us. May the #2 what seemed to be G-d’s will. We ask G-d merits of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, Bottom Line to remember that as well when He con- and Sarah, Rachel and Chana stand as a siders our fates on this day. merit for us all. May G-d remember us We ask G-d to remember the fore- the way He remembered them, and fulfill ! '& 198< 40= < 498C 3: < 3 3 3; < 48= 4 C89 32 > : fathers, so He will look upon us favor- our hopes and dreams for the good in this 6 0#< ably. When you love someone because coming new year. A# A you loved their parents first, it is easy Finally, may He bless and guard over .)" to see past their flaws and to recognize the people of the State of Israel, our <#7B that their flaws are not so terrible, be- brothers and sisters, who need His pro- cause you know from whose stock they tection most of all. May He give their emerged. leaders keen insight to know what to #= On a different note, the Gemarah do to respond to terrorism and to carry - , , $+ $1 348=

(Brachot 29a) tells us “On Rosh Hashana, the country of the Jewish people into a 399887 Sarah, Rachel and Chana were remem- peaceful safety for the future. <AA '&&" A A4 12 September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

5771 Good way to begin Letters to theeditor I Editorial Opinion promising to support non-partisan, inde- non-partisan, promising to support formulated by NYC former Mayor EdKoch electedlike offi every Assembly too.faces inthe Specifi w employment.” fannies,freeto seek other outontheir them And toss Grudge. up for re-election,Hold.A. y tirely new Senate sworn inover nextfew the j Throw. that: one after The.Bums.Out.” comesin.Next ElectionDay,thing andthe not sobad.” own well, person, not sobadorshe’s he’s elected offi matter how know lousythey else’s everyone A They do. true. It’s have memories? short inamoment.” desireable. Moreonthat isnot onlyholding agrudge usefulbutquite aresomesituationswhere nice. Still, there can’tlet go.....Not anything grudges.....They world people inthe oneswhobear arethe w adult and children’s clothing and clothing adult andchildren’s can useyour gently used,clean, mitzvah? New Year asignifi with than ust outcomewould to befor beanen- there ears. As each of the current clowns current comes ofthe Aseach ears. nd voters have fault,aswell. another No ould very much appreciate much aseaofnew ould very rote, inpart: Still holdingagrudge+anendorsement weeks, even moreutterly usual,we than York’s State Senate paralyzed Albany for coupinNew the n July of2009,after Jews in the former Soviet former Jews inthe Union What better way to begin the To Editor: the We’ve alittleand expandedourhorizons fi the “...After perfect, asco inAlbany ...the holding-the-grudge wherethe “Here’s “Have you ever voters heard itsaidthat most deeply unpleasant“Some of the Mayer Fertig Publisher, Editor-in-Chief cialto be,whenitcomesto their Account Executives Independent andoriginalreporting from theOrthodox communities of Long IslandandNew York City Alyson Goodman Editorial Designer All opinionsexpressed are solelythose of The Jewish Star’s editorial staff or contributing writers MichaelOrbach Senior Editor Contributors Photo Editor Malka Eisenberg Reporters pledgecial to signthe cant Christina Daly MiriamL.Wallach David Seidemann Adam Neustadter Micah D. Halpern AlanJay Gerber Rabbi Avi Billet HySpitz Jesse Reuvain Setzer HeleneParsons Tova Ross T be shippedto over adozenJewish duction letter. Collected items will contents toof the receive atax-de- your nameandaddressvalue 4089. Pleaseincludeanote with Suite 306,Waltham, MA02453- Soviet Jewry, 24 Crescent Street, to: JudyPatkin, Action for Post- sheets) andnon-bulkyblankets well as linens (excluding fi andshoes,as clothing children’s shoes. Pleasesendyour adultand HE cally,we’d Osher J EWISH fi we factthat That,andthe Assembly District. 20th for the Democratic Primary in the back ness inAlbany issimply too pressing. aside. Theneedfor anew way ofdoingbusi- once andfor all. heave-ho,many shouldbegiven others, the Hikind andSpeaker Shelley Silver, among Weisenberg,fuse to asHarvey sign,such Dov andelectedproject like offi this, cials whore- to enoughpoliticalgravitas propupa than hasmore tails onlineatnyuprising.org. Koch You reform. and ethics de- canreadallthe responsible budgetingpendent redistricting, that it’s timefor achange. it’s that titled to hisposition.That,too, isasignal hefeels en- pointofsoundingasthough the for hisdedication,butheisnow well past thanks communityanddeserves vice to the pension oughtto dojustfi $1plushis jobthen doesn’tneedthe truly like NYC’s billionairemayor. IfWeisenberg have to offered accept anominal$1year, does. Ifso,perhaps Weisenberg oughtto jobbutToback hedoesn’tneedthe and that alaboroflove it’s goes aroundsaying that Assembly, collecting hisfullsalary. Then,he lects a pension yet inthe continuesto serve dipping to becompletely intolerable. Hecol- nd Weisenberg’s double- salary-pension For reason we To- Jeffrey that endorse shouldbeput The issueofexperience Weisenberg hasgiven many years ofser- S TAR tted All rightsreserved. Copyright ©2010 The Jewish Star LLC. Newsstand Price: $1. $72 ayear. year. Elsewhere intheUS, $15perquarter or card inNassauandFar Rockaway, or$48a Subscription rates: NY 11530. Jewish Star LLC, 2EndoBoulevard, Garden City, The Jewish Star ispublishedweekly by The E-mail: [email protected] Phone: 516-569-4000, Fax: 516-569-4942 2 EndoBoulevard, Garden City, NY11530 [email protected]. contacted at(781) 893-2331 or Patkining isneeded.)Mrs. canbe nobaby cloth- to ofbirths, lack and Moldova. (Unfortunately, due communities inUkraine,Belarus tional coordinator oftheStudent

The writer is the former na- istheformer The writer $9 perquarter onacredit Struggle forSovietJewry ne. ne. Glenn Richter at 212-795-0791. ORAoffi orby callingthe RA.org, Agunot viaourwebsite, www.getO- ordonatemore information to help half-empty Rabbi Shafran’s glass story Thank you for Agunot Letters to theeditor dissuade young couplesfromsigning negativearbitrarily commentsmay marriage. are asegulahfor alongandhappy prenuptial agreements declared that ShafrancouldhaveRabbi similarly tochase beasegulahfor longlife. Yechezkel) have pur- proclaimedthis ofDivrei author asthe some (such 3:85, Kochavei 1:22)and Yitzchak (Yechaveh ofhalacha aries Daas bound- the life insuranceis within rabbonim have buying stated that lom bayis? dangers ofnotthe maintainingsha- new to coupleabout of warning the asatype prenuptial agreement the Why Shafranview couldn’tRabbi ple donot follow properpath. the about whatcouldhappenwhenpeo- statements rebukes andcautionary TheTorahpossible scenario. isfullof away worst about the from warning provetubah that Judaism never shies ous examples ke- inaddition to the arenumer-and wife. Second,there contractbetweenmonetary husband isessentially a allagree tubah, which ke-include a public reading of the weddings ones) (includingchareidi for afew reasons:First, allJewish nor proper.” Ifi nd hislogicfaulty prudent sibility ofdivorce is “neither pos- aboutthe timeofmarriage at the areminder andthat ness agreement” islike anyweds “marriage busi- that wrong to sendamessage to newly- it would Shafran says that Rabbi be Woman inChains;Sept. 3,2010). against prenuptial (A agreements Aviby Rabbi Shafran’scomments sue head-on. is- willingness to this ish Star’s tackle Agunot sincerely Jew- appreciate the ResolutionOrganization forof the awareness issue. We about this at the to contributed ture certainly raising front-page pic- andthe written, andwell was thorough The article (Woman Sept. 3,2010). inchains; ORA’s work problem to remedythe plightofAgunot and piece onthe I greatly fear that Rabbi Shafran’s Rabbi fearI greatly that Finally, numerousposkimand I was extremely disappointed To TheEditor: Interested readers may fi Thank you afantastic for writing To Editor: the Executive Director, TheOrganiza- tion for the Resolution of Agunot tion fortheResolutionofAgunot RabbiJeremy Stern Send letters to theeditor to [email protected] n our nd (ORA) ce healthy new year. and my bestwishesfor ahappy and past year indicate. vow seriously, very asmy actionsthis ty years later, Icontinueto take this pro-Israel voice in Washington. Thir- vowed to beadecisive and effectual are now beginning. negotiations that plan aheadofthe proposing itsown MiddleEastpeace White House I tolobbied the resist in abetter direction.Mostrecently, have helpedmove Administration the pleased to my say that recentefforts actionandwords. both through Iam US-Israelspecialrelationship the Schumer A letter from Senator agunah crisis. exacerbatingthe a prenup,thereby them to reaffithem o importance the rm offi White HouseandState Department senior been inconstantcontactwith past18el. Over the Ihave months, sure beingplacedonourally, Isra- to pres- Congressmen objectto the key White Housewith pro-Israel the AIPAC hasrecognizedmefor doing. ascounterproductive, which them did not hesitate to publicly declare visitto I IsraelinMarch, President’s wrong directionfollowing Vice the policies onIsraelwere headingin the Administration’s allies. Whenthis for oneofourmostimportant support White Houseto besteadfast intheir to urge pastWhite Housesandthis publicly,and, whenappropriate, cation to Israelhasbeenimmutable. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, my dedi- ical windsblow orwhoisoccupying State. No matterway polit- which the Jewish defending the time andeffort and year out,Ispendconsiderable for ournationandyearpartner in anyachieving potential peacepact. to relationshipiscritical ness ofthis closenessandsteadfast- Indeed, the will ever divideIsraelandAmerica. all too year, publicly this nothing displayed asthose such differences, entireworld,the despite some that make clear to Israel, and indeed to United the States that it isimportant and timeinIsrael’shistory is acritical andfor Israel.NowJewish Americans year forhas beenachallenging both to refl opportunity this ect uponwhat coming ofanew year, Iwant to take cials and have routinely urged Have Tova, aKesima V’chasima When Ifi I ranforrst Congress, I helpedorganizeameeting at I have worked scenes behindthe andstrategic Israel isacritical As we prepareto celebrate the To Editor: the Senior U.S. Senator from Melina Mendelson West Hempstead Chuck Schume NewYork

r f 13 THE JEWISH STAR September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 nesse his Report at www.micahhalpern.com. Micah D. Halpern and a is a columnist social and political commentator. Read his social and political commentator.

Abbas must fi ght for his popularityhis for ght and Abbas must fi what will happen know Abbas does not Abbas’ “no” has to States, the United For no matter Israel gives, what matter No latest book THUGS. He maintains The Micah latest for support every single day. Every he day supportfor every single day. internalin struggles his maintain engages to theas position soci- fractionalized a of leader of very composed strong reactionaryety par- ties, including Hamas, which him out. want Abbas’ hold on his leadership is precarious at best. He 27th. 26th and September on September happens, his reac- that whatever does know Abbas to for way The only tion will be “no.” survive survive or politically — personally fi must he But “no.” saying by is — “no.” Abbas’ “no” the Arab world, look nice. For the weeks next few look strong. For has to de- to Abbas will be engaging in an exercise “no” in a manner that say to termine how nor isolates States neither the angers United his constituents. in the wants, end, Ab- States what the United “no.” bas will just say cesm.com and at ds@lawoffi He can be reached at (718) 692-1013 692-1013 at (718) He can be reached law fi rm of Seidemann & Mermelstein. law fi David Seidemann is a partner with the Seeing and experiencing G-d’s beauty Hashanah, the of Judgment, is Rosh Day G-d, in his purest sense, and man and his that a few I felt freedom and G-dliness for The fact that the fi rst meeting in Wash- rst meeting The fact that the fi — from theAbbas is isolated Palestin- In January of 2009 there supposed was laudable as those things be. may brings us and in nature recreates us back rstbreathed moments when G-d thoseto fi man’s nostrils.into Indeed, as the wind was face a on my through hair and my blowing if those as I felt ago, initial breaths days few me. into being blown Adam were into blown a very ap- beginning anew, as if I was I felt are We this for propriate time of year. feeling and glass, but true of steel inner a society our begin- connect to peace comes when we sand and stars. water, nings, to on man’s birthday; and created when he was that contained nothing a world placed into with busy ourselves but nature. All that we jewelry to these homes to from cars to days, afterward. created cell phones, was Oh sure, been spin-offsthey from the might have six they have of creation and yes, could not days unless G-d willed them existence come into so, but they afterthoughts. are in wa- be seen in and felt purest sense are to visofo may’afar, yesodo earth. and ter “Adom prayers in our high holiday say we li afar,” — “Man’s source is from dust and he returns can also It sounds morbid but it dust.” to of the Stripped be invigorating. extraneous, man can be as free as the Island sand on Fire and the ocean breeze kissing one’s face. Hashanah, I On Rosh hours the other day. those back I as to feelings hearken to hope just on man’s birthday G-d, not stand before but on nature’s birthday as well. ing, not even symbolic gestures. And right symbolic gestures. even ing, not Israel is offering the almost Palestinians now, everything, both real and symbolic. place as scheduled, two despite took ington terrorist attacks in Israel, is, in and of itself, a shift in thepowerful Israeli attitude towards not these talks. otherprime No minister, stint as himself in his earlier Netanyahu even allowed have prime would of Israel, minister the talks go on as scheduled. At the to insis- of thetence Israeli prime the minister talks un- least at — suspended been have would til after the burial of the victims, sometimes until after of shiva. theeven week ian people and from Arab leadership. As of the elected cially legally offi is not Abbas now president of the Authority Palestinian and neither is the elected. prime legally minister Abbas is the leader of the de-facto Palestin- ian Authority and the interim leader. rst it was be a presidential election. At fi to postponed, then happened and it just never soon. Meanwhile, happen anytime it will not Is- was the prime of the elected minister PA theHaniyah, mail Gaza. from leader Hamas him from the position and Abbas removed man, Salem Fayyad. put in place his own ; ngs with nd. Thoughts for the new year the new for Thoughts Abbas knows the answer is ‘no’ the answer Abbas knows By G-d comparing us to nature’s beauty, nature’s beauty, us to By G-d comparing The Jewish people are compared to sands to people are compared The Jewish To our chagrin someone alerted every To Mahmoud Abbas makes demands, he Mahmoud Abbas makes Settlements are not the are not problem. Abbas is Settlements I have read Abbas’ comments about theI have But it will be an excuse. Abbas will use But it will be an excuse. And yet, as symbolic as the issue of settle- And yet, to his other creations, we are reminded to are reminded to his other creations, we to experiencerecon- through G-d to and nature reconnect to We G-d as thenect to creator. He who built us, rather than experiencing G- build, to managed have d throughwhat we on the shore and stars in the heaven. Many on the Many shore and stars in the heaven. such for but comparisons, reasons are given commune withafter my nature last week, explanation is also theI believe following in a very live man-made world. plausible. We and we money, make children, make we We homes and businesses. In short,make we becomes measured. If “things.” Life make at all, it’s in G-d in our lives only involve we a more theologicalthe build. From things we the by measured is amount life perspective, learn, the we number of good deeds of Torah perform,we the amount of charity give. we become the of ourselves. “We” focus mosquito in North Americamosquito impending of our a raised relief I look like arrival; later, days aside, however, map of Colorado. Bug bites part long that of me too dormant was way for on a high on that I was came alive excursion. afterwards days ex- to two and can’t wait for perience thethe and high seas For- Sunken discover to the world travel est again. People It is not work. G-d’s majestic and encounter thenecessary lengths travel of the to world, exists in our veryas beauty and tranquility backyard. own ocean breeze and water dowsing my face, I my dowsing ocean breeze and water in a very days had one of the most enjoyable Island, our sights on Fire set long time. We a dip in theplanned for ocean and a walk- through Sunken of the Island famous Fire the one of beautiful areas of most Forest, can fi you trees and water does not make concessions. He offers make noth- does not the problem. Washington talks in Arabic and in English; Washington themread thein have I in and press Arabic his press heard the international press. I have his briefi and followed conferences Muammar Ghadaffi Libya’s Arab leaders like Abbas’ by aides and read statements I have the come to con- And I have spokespeople. clusion that while they are all spinning the the issue, the are not settlement settlements issue. settlement activity as the excuse he wants he wants activity as thesettlement excuse pulling out of he needs — for — the excuse direct talks with Israel. ment building is, as fraught with as tension is, thediscussion of and about settlements success or failure of the direct talks just be- do nothing to will have gun in Washington with either or the settlements moratorium on building. settlement on Arab soil. Just as settlements are a symbol on Arab soil. Just as settlements are a symbol for settlements Palestinians, for symbolize Israelis, settlements Israelis. For land. building on Jewish oor of The Palestinians The Palestinians Israeli settlements My memory then shing in calm waters shing in calm waters ago when my friend’s ago when my father his son and took in Lake me on Buckeye Columbus, Ohio, in a were small canoe. We hours spend a few to fi the not but nausea was problem; I had bigger issues. As soon as we arrivedthein middle friendof the my lake, the cast his rod towards back of the boat, where sitting. Moments I was he caught an later, 80-pound 11-year-old I decid- named David. ed, then and there, ca- me. for not noes were uncertain what will happen on the af- day Sep- on Monday, ter, 27th. tember that declared have building, even any existing to change any buildings, will torpedo thetalks. direct The that believes Israel U.S. all build- should shelve ing plans, that building is an irritant Pales- to Palestin- tinians and to ian supporters around the world. are more than the sum BENCH eptember 26th is theeptember that date looms the heads of everyone watchingover the talks. Israeli-Palestinian

My memory shifted back some 40 years But this different. was Cutting through The Israeli moratorium on building in did something last week thatdid something I should’ve last week a took I actually done a long time ago. After off summer with a day from work. SIDE OF THE SIDE OF THE I’M THINKING

orld. Settlements are not homes and parks are not Settlements orld. Micah D. Halpern Micah D. David Seidemann David shing boat with nauseous and him. I was FROM THE OTHER THE OTHER FROM was something I could not resist. somethingwas I could not a 26-foot boat and his invitation to set sail set to boat and his invitation a 26-foot needed a breather. I have a friend who owns a friend who owns I have needed a breather. business law four nights a week at Touro, I at Touro, nights a week four business law 650 hours (or so it seemed) on the fl wind rushing through hair and the my cool no vacations and an August spent teaching August no vacations and an fi thedizzy for entire trip and spent the entire me. for also not were shing boats fi of the the Atlantic at 40 mph, choppy waves and a friend coerced me into going on a large and a friend going on a large coerced me into then was It that large I decided overboard. drifted back single when I was some 20 years me throw the someone to for boat begging w of their parts and the Palestinians Arab for and schools, are Israeli buildings settlements Chinese, are holding their breath, collective United Nations, the the Nations, Arab League, even United The United States, the European Union, the the European Union, States, The United the West Bank ends on September 26th. Bank ends on September the West

S

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Cabana Grill, Beautiful Very Active Clubhouse, Pro Shop and Valet Park- Friday from 2 PM to 8 PM Qualifi ed I’m having a hard time. She isn’t comfort- things than a shrink”). Move Right In- Walk To All. J. candidates should email their re- Schneider Realty 516-569-3131 ing for Residents and Guests. MOTI- able with this. I see it’s becoming more Tolerance is accepting that someone VATED SELLER/ LANDLORD Was sume, cover letter and salary require- ments to [email protected]. and more of an issue and am wondering if does things differently than you, even $269K...NOW $215K. or Rent: Was this is a good reason to break up. $4,000...NOW $2600/ Month Rental though you feel like it is the wrong way to SELLING YOUR HOUSE? includes golf club privileges. Please SALES CHAMPION do it. Yet, you tell yourself that it is okay Run your ad in our Real Estate Call or E-mail Sunny Rappaport for INTERNET ADVERTISING More Information or a Showing of Full Time - Team Player. 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Some people are not like you and find a 516-369-6950 • 516-855-4221 C0620 at 516-569-4000. 15 THE JEWISH STAR TALKINEwith Edited by Miriam L. Wallach TCN ZEV BRENNER That’s life America’s leading Jewish radio & TV program for over 3 decades Dear That’s Life,

Being married to a kohen took some ad- just as Sunday services were letting out. As September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 " justment. I remember one year before the he took pictures outside, my brother, a hulk- chagim I mentioned something about my ing 6”3, and my sister-in-law, a blond woman parents going to the cemetery to visit the a foot shorter, apparently stood out from the kevarim (graves) of my grandparents. “They congregation of Kenyan immigrants who now " do what!?!” my husband exclaimed. As a call the building their own. The pastor ap- kohen, proscribed in most cases from enter- proached and my brother quickly explained ing a cemetery, he had never heard of that that he was the grandson of the rabbi whose before and clearly did not share the custom. name is on the plaque and in whose honor “Intelligent When I explained that many people do that the corner was renamed. The pastor imme- talk radio” before holidays and that it’s pretty normal, diately extended his hand and expressed his Alan Dershowitz “A heck of a he seemed to be completely weirded out. The long-time desire to connect with our fam- good show” 334554 best thing about going to visit my grandpar- ily and dedicate something in honor of my Ed Koch ents, I added, is that no matter when I decide grandfather within the sanctuary. to stop by, they are always home. He didn’t I looked at the pictures my sister-in-law “I’m watching the think that was very funny. emailed of my brother outside the shul and Zev Brenner show” I have very fond memories of my grand- realized that I had not been there since my Jackie Mason parents and fi nd myself thinking about them grandfather’s funeral. I have visited my often, but especially around this time of year. grandfather’s grave a number of times, al- My paternal grandfather was rav of a shul in ways remarking, as do the rest of us, on the Quincy, Mass., outside Boston, for over 55 large number of pebbles placed on his head- years. I spent many a Rosh Hashanah there stone, despite the fact that none of the family "12/%"5 *()1 *%-*()1 .-)2/0 so that my father could help my grandfather lives in Boston. We imagine former congre- 2- % " 5 *%-*()1 ) " # +&3*0*.- &1/. ! ) ) *, & " /-&/ ) with the sermons, the shofar blowing and gants visit it as well and ask him to daven ) */&$1 ) *0) ) leading the davening, though some parts of on their behalf, in the same way that he was 2- % " 5 " 1*. - 4 *%-*()1 * % & *,& "/-&/ ! )*,& "/-&/ *-$+ ) */&$1 ) the service belonged strictly to my grandfa- their emissary every Rosh Hashanah. ., $"01 "#+&.' +./*%" ) 2- % " 5 *, & " /-&/ " -)" 11" - ther, including the Torah reading and Mus- Looking at the pictures, I sadly thought ) / * % " 5 ..- *, & " /-&/ " -)" 11" - saf. Even very late in life, though his congre- of the decades my grandfather spent at that Catch more ) gants were also very elderly and rarely made shul, only for it to become a church. I won- TCN it for minyan, my grandfather’s devotion to der what it looks like now on the inside and programming his shul never waned. It was the only Ortho- know that I’ll never get to see it. Are the red Weeknights...... 7 PM - 1 AM Friday ...... 8 AM-12 noon $ ### ! dox shul in the area and he refused to allow it velvet seat cushions still there in the upstairs on Time Warner Man. Saturday ...... 10 PM -3 AM ######## " # to close. After he was unable to live alone, he women’s section where my grandmother sat? Sunday: ...... 2-5 PM moved back to his roots — to Israel — living I plan to go see the shul very soon, despite close to my aunt in an assisted living facility knowing that my visit will be peripheral and To advertise on Talkline with Zev Brenner, contact us at 212-769-1925, 866-JEWISH RADIO or e-mail [email protected] where he was able once again to give shiur that I will not go inside. I would like to see and daven for the amud. He died at 95, ev- the bimah; it was given to the Maimonides ery bit the rabbi he had enjoyed being for the School in Boston, and I would have liked to Paid for by Toback for Assembly vast majority of his life. visit before the Yomim Nora’im (High Holy ! Every Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Days) but it was not meant to be. The image when the Ba’al Tefi lah begins ‘Hineni He’ani of my grandfather in his kittel, a humble ser- MiMa’as’, my thoughts immediately go to vant standing before Hashem, representing my grandfather. His tefi lot seemed as if he his fl ock, will have to remain a vivid memory, !"#$%&'(")*% was actually having a conversation with G- but a good memory nevertheless. d. His voice rose and fell, paused, then sped My daughter was looking over my shoul- up, often seemingly waiting for Hashem to der as I started at the pictures on my com- !"#! answer him. It was a dialogue, not a mono- puter screen. “What is that?” she asked, and +,-..!%/012+3% logue; Grandpa had a direct line and knew I sadly but proudly responded, “That was my Hashem was listening. It was always both an grandpa’s shul.” “Have I ever been there?” awesome sight and humbling too. she asked, and I said that no, she hadn’t. $$%&'( After he passed away six years ago my By the time she was born, my grandfather 456%-'67$( grandfather’s shul closed and was eventually had been gone for a couple of years. “Well, sold. The Aron Kodesh (holy ark), an enor- can we go?” she asked again. Taken aback, %') mous and stately piece of Americana, was I promised her that yes, we would go and I purchased by a shul in Manhattan, but the intend on keeping that promise. After all, I rest of the shul’s contents were sold or do- know that while I am thinking of him down nated. A street sign and a plaque outside the here this Rosh Hashanah, he is davening up building were put up by the city of Quincy above for my family and me, continuing the in my grandfather’s memory, but the shul is conversation he has been having with G-d for now a church and there was nothing that we so many years. Shana Tova to all. could do about it. My brother went to Quincy recently to see MLW the shul. Ironically, he and his family arrived only simchas! ! Celebrating Jewish Life !"#$%&'(%)*%+,%#- !'#" *! ./01/21 (('%& ' " & ( Marriage Engagement Wedding of Hilda Schneider (Forest Hills, Engagement of Yitzy Krel (Brooklyn, $" %$*'+

NY) & Reuben Epstein (New York) — August NY) & Malky Friederwitzer (Brooklyn, NY) 400790 29, 2010 — Sept. 2, 2010 Xxx

To view entire galleries, please visit www.onlysimchas.com %!" & !"!! $#" $" 16 September 10, 2010 2 TISHREI 5771 THE JEWISH STAR

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