A WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY STUDENT PUBLICATION VOLUME XXXII, ISSUE 25 THURSDAY, MARCH 19,1992

THE CORD Seagram Stadium put on hold SHELDON PAGE Students' Union president tive information campaign. figure was another concern. hind closed doors," said Wilgar. The Cord Nick Jimenez said "the Univer- On December 12, 1991 Other concerns outlined were: The closed doors were necessary sity wants the support [of the Jimenez sent a letter to Laurier the current cutbacks; rises in tui- because the building already ex- The Students' Union has put the students] first, not funds." president John Weir outlining the tion fees; usage of the stadium by isted. question of student funding for Christina Craft, Students' Students' Union apprehensions U of W; establishment of a user "Details couldn't be made un- Seagram Stadium off until the Union president-elect said "I to- towards Seagram Stadium. committee and Students' Union til the appropriate time," said fall. tally support what this year's In the letter Jimenez ques- finances. Wilgar. Unlike the new residence In a press release to the Cord Board of Directors proposed tioned the wisdom of mounting a The letter stated, "It will be building which was planned for the Students' Union announced based on the Seagram com- project such as Seagram Stadium extremely difficult for me to dis- three years the stadium deal had that instead of calling for a mittee's advice." given the current state of the cuss these issues and promote the to be completed quickly. referendum on the issue of stu- Jimenez said that there were economy. That the renovations to proposal with my board of direc- Jimenez said that the Stu- dent funding they were giving too many issues to be cleared up the stadium would cost more than tors without having them resolved dents' Union waiting until the fall their support for the project and too little time to run an effec- a million dollars over the stated with the university first." to decide on the funding would Craft said that "the adminis- not be a setback for the Univer- tration didn't comply [to the con- sity. "They [the University] are cerns of the letter] in time." This not as happy as they would be [if delay was cited as the reason for the funding was given right having to wait until the fall for a away]." make nationals Wilgar said that he "was very Hawks referendum. Jim Wilgar WLU Associate excited that both boards [the pres- VP Personnel and Student Affairs ent and the elect] got behind the said, "The president [Weir] saw project." He was concerned that the answers to the questions though that "some of the had been raised in meetings with momentum [for the project] the Board of Governors and might be lost by having a members of the Students' Union." referendum in the fall." "I myself had addressed the "The committee would have issues. What bothered Nick was been ecstatic if the student body that he wanted a commitment in had supported Seagram's," said writing," said Wilgar. Wilgar. To support an effective Jimenez was concerned that fundraising campaign internal "an ill-prepared referendum support [funding] is necessary. might fail." Wilgar said that the $150,000 The Students' Union passed that the University asked the Stu- the motion of support on March dents' Union to contribute was a 5. On March 6 the Students' minimum value. If the Students' Union received a letter in Union decided to contribute less response to the concerns outlined than the requested amount, "It in Jimenez' letter. would reflect very negatively on Wilgar said that the circum- the project." stances that surrounded the pur- "It is my opinion that it [the chase of the stadium made it im- $150,000] should be more. Ex- possible to respond to Jimenez' tend the payments longer than letter immediately. three years. There is nothing "The unfortunate thing is that sacred about $3 a term," said Wil One of two Hawk goals. Should there have been more? See page 19 for details. photo; Chris skalkos a lot of the discussions were be- gar. Weir gets a big gift CAREY WATERS Finance and Building committee. reused for next year's budget. $1800 of the $2000 fund had an additional $300 was donated The Cord If the committee deems the fund- After the donation was made been donated, leaving $200'left in above the usual $200 contribu- The Students' Union has decided ing worthwhile, they will recom- to Weir's party the budget was the fund. But since the board saw tion. to make a donation of $500 mend it to the Board of Directors. "almost at capacity," said Silver. the situation as "extraordinary", Other organizations, such as towards Dr. Weir's going away The guidelines set up when the staff and faculty associations, party. This situation is rather un- the fund was originated say that donated $500 to the party. Ac- precedented as generally the the organization requesting fund- cording to StudentPresident Nick amount donated by the Students' ing must submit evidence of Jimenez, the board wanted to Union towards special events will solicitation from other sources, match the $500 contribution not exceed $200. show a detailed budget outline, without breaking the precedented A fund was created by the and proven membership in a club, $200 allotment for special events Students' Union at the beginning and show that a sizable number of funding. Consequently, the addi- of this year to help support spe- people will benefit from the tional $300 came from a miscel- cial events for on-campus clubs event. According to Joel Silver, laneous fund. and organizations. A maximum Chairman of the committee, all of When asked about the size of budget of $2000 was allocated to the criteria were met in this case. the donation, Jimenez admitted the fund, to be distributed in $200 According to Silver, any that it was unconventional. "But donations. money left over at the end of the this was a one-time special event honoring thirty years of work," In order to obtain a donation, year is redeposited into the pool Dr. Weir looking happy. file photo the club must first approach the of Students' Union funds and Jimenez said. t the—SUIT is BACK "WAP plpfrv or better yet: 51 H March _27 Hm ,e£ smm 1

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& ' RCA. BkCCHUSt Note T HERE is A MANDATORY Erj <"> I MEETiNC, foR ALL iNTERESTEd g ° n m " IJfcl tne j \..\Si n ipaul | Saturday, March 21 jj |112 5 Doors open at 8:00 i fV/lcJ rcri. Z.O p" WLU 2 $3.00 WLU, $4.00 Non j aa! £ P\udlu4 »P ( THURSDAY, MARCH 19, 1992 THE CORD EDITORIAL PAGE 3 A tale of two campuses Do not be surprised if you find your campus invaded by a gaggle of high school tourists this week. It happens every year. It's Laurier Day. Remember to smile. It seems that every year as we find new ways to curse these ambitious young visitors, we forget more and more what we were like when we were going through the torment of choosing a university. In the fine tradition of journalism, we are going to offer both sides of the Laurier Day phenomenon in this editorial. In the fine tradition of editorials, we are going to make it quite opinionated.

"Welcome to Student Publications. This is where we put together The Cord newspaper and the Keystone yearbook..." A Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publication Yeah, If 75 N3L2CS yeah, another prepared speech. s kind of funny having a yearbook at a univer- sity. It seems so...high school. I thought I'4be done with that scene in a couple of months. The newspaper's kind of cool, though. All universities have a newspaper. University. This is cool. Getting away from home, being on my own. With two bars on campus. All right. Too bad I don't turn nineteen until a year from now. It's so big here. All the buildings, with residences -thafs where I'll be living if I come here ~ and bars, and a pool hall, and a huge library. This is really cool. I can't wait. All the people here seem so old. And cute. The guide said Thursdays are awesome at the bar upstairs, lots of members of the opposite sex. Cool. This class guide is really neat. I mean, look at all the courses they offer. They've got everything. They'll be hard, though. All the people who graduated from high school and came back to visit from university say classes are brutal. Tonnes of exams and essays and assignments. I wonder if I'll have time for a social life. But they say you can cut class whenever you want. None of that attendance crap. Thaf s so grade nine. Yeah, if 11 be good to be on my own. To think, if s a big treat to get the day off school to come tour the universities, but next year, I'll.be able to skip off whenever I want. Excellent. Look at that Laurier leather jacket. Oh man, I want one. Thaf s so cool. I'm gonna buy a bunch of Laurier stuff and wear it back to my high school. Yeah, cool. Oh, sounds like this speech about yearbooks is over. Good. I want to see the bar Jennifer Otter downstairs I heard someone mention. It sounds cool.

Lcri Brethour, Fisher Sheffield. Diane Sardi, Kim "Welcome to Student Publications. This is where we put together The Cord newspaper cppVtomme, Chris Skslkcs, Ryan Feeiev, Phil Des- and the Keystone yearbook..." mond, Geoff Thureson, Mark the hauler, Dean Laurier Day again. Funny, how the student tourists seem to get younger every year, ifs Kathleen hard to believe that I — that all of us — were like that once. Weiynski, Andrew Thompson, Pat Brethour, Feizal Did we really wander around campus wide-eyed marveling at the vastness of it all? Valli, Chico Galvez, Jason Waters, Carey Waters, and Terry Grogan. I remember thinking university would be some kind of shining Camelot. Challenging Production: Pat Brethour HEATHER, ingrid Niel- classes, intense political discussions, everyone interested in changing the world. Lord, how I was disappointed. Instead of Camelot, I got Grade Fourteen. pn, The classes were challenging — insofar as keeping your head from being sucked into quicksand is challenging. Intense political discussions were about as common as grass on campus. And most people's definition of 'changing the world' involved adding several zeros to their annual income. That was three years ago. Since then, Grades Fifteen and Sixteen have come and gone. And this year, I find that I'm not in Grade Seventeen after all. Camelot is coming into view, after three years, thanks in no small part to Student Publi- cations University has finally become what I thought it would be.

And I wonder, as I look at the semi-intent faces assembled here in the Cord offices -- will it be the same for them? Will their blinkers fall off one day? Or will they just slog through their three and four years, get a good job, and relegate the whole experience to the pages of the Keystone? Well, time s up. The spiel is over for this group. As they leave, another group comes in, and I say... Welcome to Student Publications. This is where we put together The Cord newspaper The Cord is pulsing, throbbing, bulging with excitement over...well, and the Keystone yearbook..." owing publication. Wc can only print letters that bear thiTauthor's ml Editorial by 0 Mark Hand and Pat Brethour y^S-fwam ' TaT WOn l arty of The Cord and we reserve the right to edit or refuse any submis- ioos, which we don't liek doing because it gives us nightmares. Further- more, The Cord will not print anything considered to be sexist, xacist or homophobic in nature by the staff as a voting body, or which is in viola- our code of ethics or creed, or might be misunderstood by all the stupid drones out there whose brain's neurons have no idea when to fire and seenra>gly iand

•, jj 7:00pm. 10th 2:30 pm. Cord 8:00 am- 10:00 am. WLU3/10km 5:30 pm. Cord Annual Laurier staff meeting in 8:00pm. Sigma Church service run Newswriters Art for the Show the Turret. Chi at the United Way meeting in the n aCUlty- tra 1 0 0 £ ? P t Semmary registration in the Cord offices. Staffin the Q c A?,f^" c. i n. 195 Albert St. Concourse. $8 Be there. Art Food and or$10onrace GallerV refreshments day. Run held on 6:00 pm. Cord served. March 29 at editorial board Donations 9:30am. meeting in the accepted at the Cord offices. All house. welcome. THURSDAY, MARCH 19, THE CORD 1992 4 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. Intelligent editorials "vitally important" Dear Editor, on its silver medal performance. soning in a responsible and readi- stories telling people about events nated by sound-bites, factoids and ly just as I press At some point in mid- An editorial is an opinion understandable manner. There that have occurred. But releases masquerading as thump- to find a fact-based news, - February, (I'm not sure what day piece. Hopefully, its writers strive was no name-calling, no would expect well- more not less somebody's opinion -- intelligent exactly because when I went to to arrive at that opinion through ing of war drums for marshalled in le Devoir commentary, the WLU library to check I found careful study of the facts and the pal and damn the facts. or the Ingersoll Times, so too labelled as such, is vitally impor- and expect to see on tant numerous editorials clipped out educated opinions of others. Hopefully, one will find un- would I hope of last month's Toronto Star's) Hopefully, the writers of the biased reporting when such in The Cord's editorial slot In a — increasingly domi- the Toronto Star editorial sug- editorial strive to show, in the reporting is necessary in news media-world Jonathan Stover gested that one of the candidates editorial then written, why this for the Ontario Liberal leadership opinions or set of opinions was was more worthy of the position arrived at, and why they feel this than the others competing. opinion to be 'right'. Quite simply, I not The sky did not fall. do under- stand the 'outrage' (or at least None of the other candidates Rittinger speaks mild consternation) about The tried to have the election declared Cord's editorial backing Chris- Dear Editor, Committee. invalid. tina Craft for the WLUSU presi- The most effective time for feedback is directly Second, I wish to comment on the off-cam stu- In February, 1992, editorials dency. following the incident for which it is directed. dent issue which was predominant throughout the in newspapers across the con- The issue of The Cord's Please excuse me for not being more prompt. election and remains a topical issue. In an open tinent, around the globe and, yes, monopoly aside (and it's not a to- [Editor's Note: letter writers may only be excused forum held earlier this year by the First Year Coun- on the Laurier campus, printed tal monopoly -- you can leave for tardiness iftheir letter is accompanied by a note cil, this issue was addressed. Due to the 'open' na- editorials expressing opinions on newsletters as long as Mid- from their mommy or daddy. Sorry.] There are ture of this forum, the agenda was established by everything from what the dlemarch around campus if you several issues, reported in The Cord, that I wish to those participating. As a result, no one from the Supreme Court appeal of the want to, as long as advertising respond to, and hopefully clarify. Orientation Committee was asked to represent the David Milgaard case means in a doesn't appear in them), this First, I refer to The Cord article, 'Presidential Department of Student Activities. It was erroneous- legal sense, to congratulations to editorial 'flap' is a mirage. The Hopefuls Answer Questions' from the week of ly stated and subsequently reported, that there was Canada's Olympic hockey team editorial presented its line of rea- Wednesday, February 12, 1992. In this article dur- no care given by the Orientation Committee in the ing an interview with candidate Brett Grainge, creation of off-cam teams. This is simply not the reference is made to the "icebreaker committee" case. The Orientation Committee goes into consid- and the confidential evaluations that are made of erable detail in plotting the first-year students to- each Icebreaker after Orientation Week. Let me gether according to location. The only students that clarify here that similar to The Cord, which does are not handled in this fashion are those who regis- not prefer to be known as The Cord Weekly, the ter on the first day ofFrosh Week. Die to time con- Double Orientation Committee does not go by the name straints it is not physically possible to plot these "icebreaker committee". There is however a more students on a map. The issues concerning off-cam serious issue. Employee evaluations are confiden- first year students will take a different angle this tial, and serve (in this case) as a guide for the in- coming fall, because the only off-cam first year stu- coming Orientation Committee when hiring new dents will be those who wish to live off-campus. staff. These evaluations enter the process after a With the proposed enrollment cutbacks, I would as- exposure new committee has made selections for the year, sume that all first year students will be offered a and serve only as a recommendation from the pre- position in residence. Insofar as Orientation is con- vious group. The completed evaluations are seen in cerned measures are taken to integrate these stu- Dear Editor, equal rights of women and men their entire form by the Icebreaker Liaison, the dents, I only wish I had been approached by either I am writing in response to on the forefront and fulfill the Orientation Co-ordinator, and the Out-going and In- the First Year Council, or The Cord to discuss Fraser Kirby's article, in March promise of equal protection coming VP:SA only. Due to the confidential nature these concerns. 12, 1992 edition of The Cord, without discrimination. of this material, let me say that the information regarding the question of whether used to question Grainge was incorrect, and does Mark J. Rittinger women should, or should not, be Lisa Swain not reflect factually the opinions of the Orientation VP: Student Activities allowed to bare their breasts in public. Kirby asserted that this is- sue "is not about women, sexism or breasts" - I disagree, vehe- mently. It is about women their breasts and the sexist and oppres- a sive environment which we Sports in coverage not miracle live. Asking women to passively some time, assure you they would "accept" that men and women are Dear Editor, coverage should have been terest in. Unfortunately, curling is I not sport have written something about it. treated unequally in the hands of I address this letter to Barry given in The Cord for this ac- a highly requested among The Cord has an unwritten the law, is sexist. Moulsdale, who wrote to The complishment, however this is the few sports writers. a few weeks complain- not always as easy as sounds. Maybe you to policy that if someone writes an Kirby's argument that Cord ago it should talk the ing pathetic coverage Sports not just They article they will do their best to "women cannot expect to bare of the of the stories do ap- folks in the A.C. send the print it. This is the reason why their breasts without a Laurier varsity teams by The pear miraculously on the sports results of all the sporting events cor- "meaningless articles such as responding rise in sexual harass- Cord sports department. I am not editor's desk. Finding writers to to The Cord. Unfortunately, they not wrestling" are given space every ment and assault" points out a a member of The Cord staff. I cover all sports is that easy. have recently been sending the to on Did you ever give thought critical flaw in our justice system. would like congratulate the The writers are voluntary, there- information Wednesday, when week. curling team you not to sitting down for half an hour It occurs to me that we are per- men's for winning fore can make someone the paper is put together on Tues- the O.U.A.A. and writing an article about how secuting women to prevent the curling take time out of their schedule to day. If the sports department had championships. agree the curling team did? You can crimes of men. If women choose I do that cover a sport that they have no in- of known about your victory on drop off a note with some to bare their breasts they are not even sports editor asking to be sexually harassed or hi-lights, and the write it himself. This will assaulted — they are demanding will ensure that the curling team will theirright for equality. Equality, I get some recognition. The am learning, is something which Dropout talk amount of space given to ad- is hypocritically promised within Dear Editor, ext. 2822, so we ar- commented on, our legal system. Why should at Laurier (884-1970) that can vertising was also If you are currently a first-year student at WLU a think of where women be oppressed by the law range mutually convenient time to talk. I promise but did you ever and you are thinking about not returning to school to respect your privacy by keeping money to print only to prevent men from break- our conversation The Cord gets its next Fall, I would be interested in talking with you. free ing it??? confidential. the paper that you receive I am a doctoral student in the faculty of Social to hearing It sounds as if Fraser Kirby I look forward from you. every week? Work at Laurier and I am interested in understand- I is enhancing the myth that Being a third year student, ing why students decide not to return to school. Sincerely, women encourage sexual harass- have definitely noticed an im- If you are willing to speak to me, give me a call Shelly by the way in which Birnie-Lefcovitch provement in the sports section ment/assault sports they choose to dress. Perhaps from previous years. The and women should be forced to wear section has doubled in size quality in the past year. Maybe iron-clad chastity belts in order to complaining reduce the occurance of rape. students should stop take some This is bitter sarcasm, for those Letters continued about The Cord and something people who did not recognize it time out to write about The paper as such. that interests them. If, as Kirby suggests, "the only be as good as the students laws in our society must always make it. uphold the highest moral stan- on page 12 dard" our law should put the Jody Schafheitlin NEWS Laurier applications drop 26 per cent INGRID NIELSEN every criteria picked for the strategies for dealing with the The declines in first attempt ness department will experience The Cord [Macleans] article disadvantaged Maclean's article," said Stephen. applications will not affect the the smallest reduction, being held Laurier," said Arthur Stephen, In- Laurier experienced declines overall 16 percent cut back in virtually constant. Applications to Laurier from high stitutional Relations. "In reality, in applicants as follows: Arts first year enrollment This reduc- Granger said Arts has been schools this year are down 26 the figures were really skewed." down 22.9 percent, Science down tion is due to recent cuts in fund- forced to absorb the huge in- percent, the largest drop of all Laurier, which ranked 37 in 31.4 percent School of Business ing, and large increases in enroll- creases in the past years, whereas Ontario universities. the survey, suffered the largest and Economics down 33.6 per- ment in recent years at Laurier. the Business department has been There are two reasons for this drop in applications in Ontario. cent and Music down 0.8 percent The largest cut next year will held constant or been reduced. substantial decline, according to McMaster, which was in the top (3 students). be in the Arts department Enroll- "The cutbacks are not a reac- Dr. Granger, Associate Registrar five schools, experienced the These numbers refer to high ment in this program will be tion to the decrease in applica- of Admissions. The first is the largest increase in applications. school graduates applying for the reduced by 30 percent The busi- tions," said Granger. students' self-selection, and the "We couldn't change the ef- first time. second reason has been attributed fect it had for 1990-91. Un- However, there has been a to the Maclean's article which fortunately, it has the potential to significant increase in applica- ranked all Canadian universities. do much more damage in the fu- tions from mature students, trans- Self-selection refers to the ture," said Stephen. "I attended a fer students, and those out of pro- students' choices as to which uni- long meeting with Maclean's and vince and from other countries. versity they place on their ap- the consensus is that they will do These applicants have in- plication. Granger believes that it again next year." creased by 28 percent. Arab Dr. students are not selecting Laurier The major concern with the Granger provides two reasons for in their top three choices due to article is the criteria which was this increase. The first is the state the high academic entrance re- used torank the universities. of the economy. More adults are quirements. The largest weight in the losing their jobs or fear that they For the first time, Laurier is ranking was given to financial are about to, and have decided to providing all potential students resources per student. "This is upgrade their education. directly with a thorough list of really misleading, as it is loaded The second reason is that debate entrance averages. for schools with large Ph.D. and many of the applications from JASON R. WATERS ducted in eight different locations "Laurier has among the high- Science departments. It is unfair mature students are actually stu- The Cord annually. est entrance requirements in Can- to rank the costs of an Arts stu- dents who have tried to enter This was Laurier's second ada," said Granger. "There has dent with those of a Science or Laurier before, but were not ac- Last week ten students went to year on the council. Universities been a significant increase in Ph.D. student," said Stephen. cepted. Washington D.C. with Dr. Lev participate in the council by in- quality grades." Other discrepancies, accord- "It is common for students to Gonick, of the political science vitation only and Laurier was the Last year, Laurier received ing to Stephen, deal with the try again due to our high stan- department, to participate in an only Canadian University in at- 9700 applications. This year, the residence tabulation and the cal- dards," said Granger. Arab states relations council. tendance. school has received 7200, as of culations for admission averages. Granger said that this figure is The council, sponsored by the The council is set up in the February 11,1992. "Maclean's claims that it be- still slightly premature due to a American department of the format of diplomatic games. Each Another reason attributed to came apparent that this is a much more loosely defined application United Nations, the Arab League university plays one of 21 Arab the decline is the Maclean's arti- bigger effort," said Granger. process for students other than of States, and the National Coun- states and divides its ten members cle. "It just so happened that "We're looking at long term new high school graduates. cil of U.S.- Arab relations, is con- into five committees representing political, social economic, cultur- al and Palestinian interests. The teams debate various topics such as the role of women in society, water rights and other matters which give the students a feel for the internal workings of ParentsNICOLE DUNN welcomeHe told parents of the student's "real" life, and their degree of respon- Arab states. The Cord sibility. Sundberg, a second year student, spoke about off-campus housing The seventh annual Parent's Day program for first year students was and the importance of friends. hosted by the Wilfrid Laurier University Alumni Association, on Sat- Rittinger is a fourth year student and a member of the Students' distinction of urday, March 14,1992. Union. He talked about safety, the Students' Union and the programs Skeeter Budd, Alumni Assistant, and Steve Davis, Co-ordinator: it supports. For example, the foot patrol program and orientation Alumni Affairs, organized the event. week. Steve Davis opened and welcomed all parents to Wilfrid Laurier. A luncheon for the parents, students, and faculty members was role playing Dr. John Weir, President of Wilfrid Laurier University, also said a available in the dining hall. few words of welcome. School of Business and Economics faculty member, Jim Laurier played the United Parents and had students the opportunity to tour the campus. McCutchin, spoke on behalf of his faculty. Arab Emirates. In preparation for Tours were led by WLU ambassadors. Dr. Hall, Dean of Music, told parents about her faculty. the council, the Laurier team re- Dr. J. Richard Elliott, Assistant Dean of Arts and Science, spoke searched the UAE here at the uni- on behalf of faculty. his versity and conducted a two hour He expressed the need to lower the number of students because interview with a representative of the faculty isn't large enough to handle more than 5500 students. the UAE embassy. Mr. Nichols, Fred Dean of Students, handed over this half hour Gonick says that the goal of session to Fran Wdowczyk, WLU Student Life Coordinator, and her the council is "to improve the un- panel of four senior students. derstanding of North Americans panel The consisted of Heather MacGillivary, Brock Greenhalgh, to Arab world. A successful Cindy the Sundberg, and Mark Rittinger. Laurier team was awarded "a dis- MacGillivary is a third year student and a don at Bouckaert Hall. tinction of role playing" of four She spoke about the concerns of safety on campus, safety in of the five committees and was residence, social and academic life. also awarded "most outstanding Page photo. Greenhalgh is a fourth year student and a don at Willi son House. Sheldon took this keen 'Liaison-type' delegation". THURSDAY, MARCH THE CORD 19, 1992 6 NEWS BAG O' CRIME HomosexualsADRIENNE HODGIN gays? Homosexuals are not trying or straightO.K.has no bearing on the From the WLU weekly security reports. News Commentary to force their lifestyle on others. person. ASSAULT: A Wilf s patron was asked to leave so he as- People have the right to live their Homophobia is a scary reality saulted the police officer who was attempting to remove Why can't people stay out of own lives without unjust persecu- place in society. To that has no As well, another patron tried to obstruct this everyone else's sex lives? Why tion by others. people are being per- him. removal know that officer. do people feel the need to force What is the problem? When you secuted on the basis of their sexu- and also assaulted the their morality on those who do really consider it, people are al orientation is abhorrent. No not conform to the established equal, no matter what choice of one deserves to be unjustly as- DISTURBANCE: A couple of people were involved in a notion of heterosexuality? lifestyle they decide to follow. saulted for what they believe in. fight at Wilf s. No harm done. People are equal and deserve Gay bashing is abhorrent. No one Homosexuals have as much right to be treated as such. Sexual as else to be treated should be assaulted for their life- anybody A fight broke out by the Info Booth orientation should play no part in style. People deserve to be treated equally. DISTURBANCE: s. it. Gays, lesbians and bisexuals with respect. Sexual orientation after two people left Wilf have as much right to enjoy their should not matter. sexuality as anybody else. They It is disturbing that in our did not choose their orientations society, those who do not con- and thus, shouldn't be persecuted form with people's heterosexual for their natural feelings. ideals are persecuted either ver- It is not for society to judge what bally or physically by narrow Laurier PC on loses goes between consenting minded and ignorant PAT BRETHOUR selection meeting be nullified. They said that the 22 adults. Sexual attraction is a mat- homophobics. Those people who The Cord proxies used during the meeting should not be al- ter of personal taste. There are do assault homosexuals have lowed, and the delegates be stripped of their voting bigger issues in life, rather than problems within themselves. A Laurier student's bid for the Ontario Progressive- rights. worrying if the person next to you What people consent to in the Conservative Campus Association [OPCCA] presi- Toogood had 22 proxies' votes at the February is gay. There is nothing wrong privacy of their own bedroom, is dency has failed. 26 meeting which selected five delegates for the with being homosexual. their own business, and we have John Toogood, president of the Laurier Progres- March 15 convention. Homosexuality is not a con- no right to judge them on the sive Conservative club, received 46 out of 104 OPCCA's credentials committee turned down tagious disease, so then why do basis of sexual orientation. Really votes at a weekend OPCCA convention. the appeal. The delegates stood. people feel so threatened by though, whether a person is gay His opponent, Julia Gorman of Carleton Univer- "They ruled there were no irregularities what- sity, won the OPCCA presidency with 56 votes. soever," said Toogood. "I was surprised, but not unhappy," said Dan Muys said the appeal to the credentials Toogood. "I was disappointed I was not going to be committee was a factor in Toogood's loss. president, but good people were elected." "I don't think it was positive because it gave the * Toogood emphasized gearing up for the next impression that he didn't have the full support of STORAGE SPACE federal election in his campaign. Gorman stressed his campus," said Muys. "Whether that made a dif- Student Rates Available! expanding party membership. Toogood felt this dif- ference is hard to say, the race was basically de- was the reason for the loss. cided at Call between 8:30 am-7:00 pm ference each campus' delegate selection meeting. Dan Muys, a Laurier student and communica- "There was probably ten delegates that didn't tions director for the Ontario-Progressive- have their mind made up." 60 Kitchener St. Conservative Youth Association, appealed the Muys said that the entire slate running under results of the Laurier PC's delegate selection meet- Toogood was defeated. "Every single person on Kitchener J/WiHW ing. Doug Eagle, a former vice-president of Toogood's slate lost," he said. OPCCA, supported the appeal. Toogood denied that he ran a slate, or was part The pair asked that the results of the delegate of a slate.

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I 84 Kinq St. North 747-5746 I 319 Victoria St. N. Kitchener 744-2911 Q IM 70 Otanabee Dr. Kitchener 893-1200 □ University Ave THURSDAY, MARCH 1.9, 1992. THE CORD NEWS 7 Board hires new ad manager Bored Watch DEVIN KREUGER could not have hired Neilson. If it Bored Watch were simply policy, the board could easily make any adjust- Finally, an exciting board-elect ments necessary to hire Neilson. meeting. Martin Walker explained to On Sunday, the board the board that until this year, the 'virgins' gained some experience advertising department had been on how to deal with personal mat- part of Student Publications. ters in their meetings. Then it was brought under the The personal matter in this control of the Union. the hiring of the 1992- Walker further questioned if case was my nerves, but these folks look cute.... pic. Sheldon Page 1993advertising manager. the Advertising department was Normally politicians get on Neilson, the choice of ever officially created in the Stu- James Community Relations Depart- the charity danceathon, the winter plays about "Accepting Dif- the hiring committee, will only be dents' Union. carnival, meeting with the ferences," featuring booths on point Walker realized ment to take the place of the pres- and the a part-time student next year. At this administration about the expan- gays, lesbians, and physically dis- of personal na- ent Operation Outreach depart- Precedent dictates that the posi- that because the Union Build- advantaged people. discussion, ment. sion of the Student tion be given to a full-time stu- ture of the the board of meet- 'Thumbs down' to the entire ing. The exciting part the dent over a part-time student. should probably move in camera Silver put board of directors, who should Progress on the foot patrol for ing was when Joel Vice-president Media & [where no minutes are taken and board, have known better than to discuss next year was also discussed. A several motions before the Communications (elect) Adrienne all visitors are required to leave]. French all of which passed with very private matters in front of the representative from the Hodgin said, would be in the dis- "it For 25 minutes the board then not to have it and Spanish Club on campus also little difficulty. corporation press and ask best interests of this cussed behind closed doors. printed. made a short presentation sum- It was announced that the new to hire an individual that can When they finished, they de- of The DOAK marizing the activity that name of the games room is devote more time and energy to cided that the position of Ad- STEVE Bored Watch group and thanking the Students' Corner Pocket, like dozens of the position." She asked the board vertising Manager will be Union for its support other pool halls across Canada. meeting of the board of to support her and allow her to reopened if Neilson is ineligible Friday's Interviews for the Dean's Ad- to indicate that Seven members of next year's hire Neilson, "the qualified candi- to hold the position because of his directors seemed visory Council are proceeding, the present is almost fin- BOD were present to observe the date." part-time student status. board and a list of the seven members everything that it's going to proceedings, although they The problem was that the 'Thumbs up' this week goes ished should be ready by this Friday. do this year. couldn't all stay for the entire board was unsure whether the to Alexandra Stangret, VP. Uni- Plans for next week include The first few speakers simply meeting. hiring of the advertising manager versity Affairs [elect], who is al- the Volunteer Dinner on Wednes- gave reports of things that have was written in the by-laws, or if it ready hard at work in her depart- day night followed by a per- The meeting ended with a been going on concerning the was policy. ment. She is proposing the Union formance by Pete Webb in comment from Nick Jimenez that If the guidelines had been establish a Personnel & Place- Students' Union. There was a Wilf's. Starting Wednesday, the the board still has a lot to do this written into the by-laws, they ment Service and a Charity & report on the WUSC symposium, Concourse will be filled with dis- year. J: NAME THAT

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. towards the purchase of any Casey's menu item. . J | Alcoholic beverages are not included. No cash refund I One $5.00 coupon per table per visit Not valid with any ililisSss;^ other promotion or hrunch. I I 183 Wobor St. N. Waterloo I Expiry Date Marcti 31. 1992 SsSf^ mmKKKU i 1 £ HUH $igtt&tW?H- THURSDAY, MARCH 19, 199$ THE CORI) 8 NEWS union Students' to '92 be said? First of all the majori- ty of the Board of Directors ELECTION (BOD) were all acclaimed in Feb- OFFPAGE THE ruary. The only elected represen- BY SHELDON PAGE tation on the Board will be the three candidates that were voted RESULTS election time again. For in this Tuesday. You did vote, the second time this year, didn't you? dear reader, will see Secondly next year's Board is Sheri Hord 349 Steve Farnan 105 It'syou, the results of another student completely new except for Sean Taylor, who was on the Board Scott 242 101 election. Walker Jason Lemaich Actually this time it's a by- last year. New blood is always election. I don't know about you, refreshing. Unfortunately, the Michelle Moore 233 Total Spoiled Ballots 41 but I am getting tired of elections. new Board has a virtual I told myself that this cornucopia of vital issues to deal Thuy Pham 213 Total Ballots Cast 565 wouldn't turn into another with. diatribe about elections and the The question of additional Andrew Campbell 153 Quorum 550 like. So I've decided to turn my Students' Union building space attention to next year's Students' and Seagram Stadium are very Union. complex and demand complete The Students' Union. What is understanding before they can be dealt with. I hope the new BOD members are doing their homework. Oh well, there is nothing that can be done about it now. Christina Craft is the Stu- dents' Union president-elect. Fresh out of a problem plagued election, she has already hired most of her staff.

"" :: What type of administration will Craft run? It's hard to tell. She has been involved with the Students' Union before and has a By fairly good knowledge of the is- sues. Craft isn't the typical Stu- dents' Union president. From Kin«HKpJUPImmr joke-telling sessions at Board meetings to an association with the Cord, she stands out as unique. Is being unique enough to run a successful Students' Union? As I said before only time will tell. The BOD (elect) meetings have been disjointed at best New members, new chair, and confu- sion over Robert's Rules are only TO BUSINESS WORLD. a few of the problems. Granted WELCOME THE this year's BOD was shaky at the DO YOU HAVE start but they got over it I sup- pose the new BOD will do the YOUR CMA DESIGNATION > same. Perhaps the most interesting aspect of all are close (some have even said incestuous) rela- tionships between certain mem- bers of the Operations Manage- ment Board of the Students' Union and Student Publications. As a aware university business student, you're of of the two-year CMA Professional Program Student Publications, actually some of the challenges that may cross your path hold a designation that is much valued and the Cord, had traditionally been the watchdog of the Students' in your chosen profession. It won't always be richly rewarded in today's business world. Union. Will the personal ties be- tween corporations be - two easy. And you'll need more than your wits Give yourself a competitive edge in the the problematic for this vital function you'll need the CMA designation to succeed. marketplace. Enroll in the CMA Program. of the Cord? On Sunday such an occasion Management the Society Management Accountants Certified Accountants are trained Call of arose. During a BOD meeting information which should to develop a distinctive competence in manage- of Ontario at (416) 977-7741 or phone certain have been revealed in camera ment knowledge, skills and practice. Graduates toll free 1-800-387-2932. only was released into the public domain. Questions arose as to whether it should be printed. The issue was dealt with in a professional manner, but it made CMA those involved aware of the prob- lems inherent in close ties. Certified Management Accountant What is in the future for the Students' Union? I predict that nothing out of the ordinary will happen. No wondrous changes will occur, but no major disasters either. There are a few possible con- tentious issues that might make The Society of Management Accountants of Ontario things interesting, but I'll leave

- a future 70 University Avenue, Suite 300, Toronto, Ontario MSJ 2M4 (416) 977-7741 them for now fuel for column I suppose. It will be an interesting year, and I'll be here...watching. THURSDAY, MARCH 19, ±992 THE CORD NEWS 9 Casino night cancelled PRAVDA ANDREW THOMSON On Friday morning, second Relations. The bureaucrat said tally, by a cleaning lady, Garcia The Cord year TAMIAE representative and that the department needed to be got through. event organizer Sherry Garcia furnished with more documenta- The bureaucrat said there TAMIAE was prohibited at the received a call from someone tion, including the TAMIAE con- would be no licence granted. He WEST last minute from holding their an- with the Entertainment Standards stitution, executive names and said was a social club TAMIAE Just kidding! nual Casino night by the govern- Branch, a department in the Min- phone numbers, trust account and not a charitable organization. But since I'm the topic, we're ment istry of Consumer & Commercial number. People were dispatched The money TAMIAE hoped on to get the needed information. to raise was for the. UNITED doing it again. Yes Garcia asked if there was any WAY. folks, it's the traditional way to have found out about Garcia said, "I asked him how year end joke issue and it's these requirements earlier. The TAMIAE had been able to get only two answer was that the City of licences for casino nights in the issues away! We need your submissions. If Laurier open house Waterloo should have requested past He said 'it was a mistake'". this information when the licence Among those students plan- you have an idea for a KATHLEEN HONEY story was applied for over two months ning to attend Casino night were in the joke issue, The Cord ago. Mehul Suthar and Alex or just want to help out When the information with it, come up to the This Friday, Wilfrid Laurier's Office of Liaison will be holding their was McCombs. Suthar said, "I guess dropped off, a happy fun Cord annual March Break Open House. Garcia waited for we'll just go Roller Skating in the reply. Right before five, when she offices. We need your About 800 high-school students from all over Ontario are ex- Quad." hadn't received one, she phoned help! pected to attend. Garcia said next year the department. After phoning The plans for the students start off with a welcoming speech from TAMIAE will have things fin- hungup Dr. John Weir, president of Laurier, followed by tours guided by several times, being on, ished and the red tape satisfied volunteer Laurier students. and disconnected, albeit acciden- ahead of time. "The goal [of the guided tours] is to give a physical sense of where things are," said Andrew Ness, manager of the Liaison Office. Normally 125 to 150Laurier students turn out to help out "The whole campus is incredibly supportive of what we do," said Ness. This will be the second year WLUSU has held a seminar on the day of the Open House. Large tour groups have been passing through Laurier all this week because of the high-school students' March Break. As well, Ness said fbimm/j k opinitig that students visiting the University of Waterloo often drift over to Laurier in the afternoon. of:

Predictions•It will be the closest election since 1976, when Democrat Jimmy Carter beat President Gerald Ford by a very slim margin indeed.

•Bush will win because a) he's the incumbent; b) both he and Clinton are six foot two inches (which negates the height fac- tor); c) the country will be out by Terry Grogan d) under the direction of the recession by the fall; of "You won't have Richard Nixon but most importantly, George primary Hamp- r( to kick around any more." won his in New shire, (and RC

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228 King St S. Waterloo Ont. 745-2802 I BUSINESS Co-op Worse Than Last Summer

Andrew Thomson Co-op department. The culprits the state of things, to anger at the offered constructive comments. still coming." Cord Business are ."unprecedented economic Co-op department. A student She felt that there was optimism In the event that students still conditions" says Karen who failed to see his name on the about the opportunities available. can't get employment the depart- It's Friday morning outside McCargar, the Assistant Director list Friday morning complained, They should be she says. ment has received permission the Co-op offices, as about 15 of Co-operative Education. She "All I know..is when they came While last year after the initial from the Vice-President Academ- second year Business students stressed the results were not to my highschool they talked round of interviews only 54 per- ic, for the second consecutive converge around the bulletin reflective of poor interviews, but about how great their Co-op cent had been placed, by the be- year, to offer a waiver to those board with the latest second of an employer's market. She was.", still another said "If only ginning of June 93.3 percent were students. This allows students to round postings of interviews. suggested employers may have 100 people got jobs, maybe they employed. The Co-op office is stay in the program by writing a In years past these jobless co-op ranked fewer students because should've only let 100 people hoping for even a better record supplementary report on a busi- students weren't more than 30 they were more confident they into Co-op." this year. The students should be ness, approved by the department, percent of the total after the first could get who they wanted. As When asked about the aware of "concrete things we're while not working in an official round of interviews and place- one student by the board postings seemingly disgruntled disposition still doing, and get involved in Co-op job. ments. This year they are among remarked, "the economy really is of those Friday morning students workshops we're offering to aid While the Co-op department the 105 of 207 students approach- shit right now." McGargar countered that the stu- in interview skills and (aid in will be more flexible in approv- ing their first work term without To the students without jobs dents at an information session writing) resumes". ing jobs, "not any thing goes, work. there is concern ranging from un- earlier in the morning had asked A hotline with the most recent that's why we instituted the Their plight is shared by the derstandable disappointment with very reasonable questions, and information concerning jobs is waiver." being installed for the students Back outside the offices an- convenience.- other student has just finished the BUS155 T.A. Gets Pie In Face The Co-op office has made spiral scale of the staircase to be over 300 personal visits to pros- greeted by news from some of his Special to students pective employees. It is actively friends already there that his the Cord have had talking with companies, and Co- name is on the interview list. He in to smiles faintly, much ex- op alumni efforts continue to and with reserve. generate new jobs. lot of His happiness is guarded, It started out perience "A employers are unable to post ear- tempered from his experience as a friendly with in ly because they have to wait to the first round, it rivalry but is the first be- spreadsheets. determine their situation, but their step. tween two This year's Wednesday assign- morning ments Businesslss were Labs. It harder ended up a than the gushy mess. ones in the 300 I DOW Jones The Business past and

« ——— ——— i 3600r— - ; ■ 3300i—' 155 Champi- the contest ■ | friendly bunch of pie-eyed Pic: Chris? onship of A people. was de- 3500 I 3200 Champions had Warren Hobs, was initiated to encourage signed to encourage the labs to 3400 ' ■ 3100' ' the T.A. with a lower lab aver- students to learn valuable succeed. age score on a spreadsheet as- spreadsheet skills. He went A set marking scheme was signment, receive a cream pie on to say that while these used to ensure fairness, but the Can $in US funds ■ Gold - London Fix in the face. skills are in high demand by whole contest was designed for " Garry Scott, head Busi- companies and an invaluable the student's benefit. "In the ness 155Teaching Assistant and skill for fourth year business end," said Scott, "both labs came thrower, said that the contest assignments, few first year out the real winners." ITSE

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5 pm - Midnight THURSDAY, THK CORD MARCH 19, 19^* 12 COMMENT Physically challenged, not spoon-fed have better, some are Dear Editor, who relies on the services offered these services at all, in fact, I that they could done though still inadequate. by the Special Needs office. My credit the two people who worked I'm sure they'd try harder the In time, the outlook will be I am writing in response to the impairment, like a learning dis- so hard over the past two years to next time. brighter for us. letter "Laurier Disables the ability, is not noticeable unless make it easier for all of us dis- If a service is lacking, the is- I don' think anyone should Learning Disabled" in the Febru- you really know me. abled students. sue must be brought to the atten- feel sorry for a disabled student ary 27 issue of The Cord. When I arrived here at WLU, I feel that WLU is one of the tion of the Special Needs office. It would be better off to admire I am one of the many physi- the Special Needs office had just better institutions to attend if you If you don't voice your concern, them. Look at how far some of us cally disabled students on campus evolved. I can not complain about are learning disabled or physical- how can someone help you? have come. Treat us normally, as ly challenged. It is a small Professors and employers are you would your own friends. campus with small classes and a well aware of the increase of That's all we really want We can friendly caring atmosphere. What physically challenged people en- become just as successful as you more could you want? Just be- tering University and the work can, it's just going to take time. PEOPLE ARE. TALKING...' cause I am physically challenged, force. Programs have been ...about if Laurier would still be their first it does not mean that I have to be modified to suit disabilities, Kelly Dietrich spoon-fed. In fact, I prefer not to choice for univerisities be. I struggle just as hard as any other 'normal' student to achieve NEXT WEEK: People will be talking about if vegetarianism is the marks I receive. I am not al- really a good thing. ways proud of the results, but I don't think everyone is always The end? proud of their marks. I don't get any extra time on exams or a spe- NO.J>y Kathleen Honey cial room to write them in; I had opportunity to I Knowing what I know now, would I choose to come to Laurier? I the do so, but doubt it. Sure, I chose to come to Laurier for bad reasons. The co-op declined because I wanted to be program which I did not even apply to (I missed the deadline). It was treated the same way as everyone METROPOLIS one of five universities that I could find which I could get into my else. I am not implying that all BY FISHER SHEFFIELD disabled students follow this path. program of choice without having three OAC math credits. And there will not be available this week, and was a nifty poster in the guidance office at high-school. All I would like to point out is whether it will ever return is pretty much up in the air So any of the disappointment due to that was my own fault. But I that any disability should not be METROPOLIS also came to Laurier to meet people. used as an excuse for poor marks, as well. Admittedly you'll probably have bad experiences no matter where nor should a service be blamed Fisher Sheffield says: "If anybody out there actually reads and enjoys this you go. But my attempts even to become involved in clubs were use- for them. If you worked as hard damn thing called METROPOLIS that I write each week, send a letter to The to take a less. How involved can you be in the Waterbuffalo Club when you as you could, feel proud of your Cord and let them know. Otherwise, I think I'm going vacation...one accomplishment. that could end up being permanent - xox, Fisher S." are underage until mid-way through the second term? I signed up to If anyone feels help out at TAMIAE events, but never got any response. I was "exec- utive house council representative", and was told about only two inter-residential council meetings. And it was not for lack of asking. By the time second term had rolled around, I all but gave up, and put off getting involved until the next year. I decided to volunteer instead of clubs. I was accepted for the first position I applied for. There was a mixup, and I found out after train- ing had started, when it was too late. I applied for a position and found out that someone else got the position by checking two weeks later (silly me, I thought they would phone or something). Ouija Finally I forced myself upon The Cord, so I'm almost involved at Laurier now. ack aydearpopular defend. Oh my worthy suo- "seemTosnake^ This is no means a complete rundown of all I did to try to get in- jects I apologize for my unnecessary vacation me. volved. But maybe I'm just the exception. B from The Cord. I was asked to sit as a consul- Sincerely, I guess that Laurier is not all that bad. Aside from being the little tantfor those bureaucrats at WLUSU to give advice !#%@edUp university with giant class sizes. And aside from offering just over on all those appeals. Ten appeals later, I'm back in Dear !#%@ed Up, half of the courses in the course calendar. Sure, I can take courses one piece and ready to pass more of my wisdom on While your feelings are obviously messed up through the University of Waterloo. But I did not apply to UW; I ap- to you. right now it seems you really want to maintain both plied to Laurier. In case you don't know me, I am the omniscient, of these friendships. Your problem may lie in that And if I knew it rained so much, and that I'd have to deal with omnipotent Ouija and I have the wisdom to answer while you are trying not to upset the delicate worms on the sidewalk... all of your letters. My motto is: No problem is too "friendship" balance you are losing focus on your ...Maybe I should not have been so proud to turn down Western. petty. I know you are miserable about something- own needs. This may be remedied by letting your why not tell me about it. Consultation is cheap so real emotions out. If you don't feel comfortable YES...by Terry write me now do The Cord while the offer still talking with the person you are "interested in" then Groaan stands. maybe you could talk with your roommate. If you just Christmas I no let him/her know that you are a bit upset about the It wasn't until this past that I realized had idea Dear Ouija why to Laurier instead of going to Carleton or Western in- situation maybe she/he could be more sensitive I came I have a friend who is obsessed with large toward your needs and may moderate their affec- stead. breasts. A big pair of hooters is the only quality he I was whooping it up on New Year's Eve, with a couple of my tions when you are around. looks for in a woman. Do you think the fact that he high school buddies from Ottawa who chose to stay in the valley You won't be able to change their feelings for has long shaggy hair and a moustache is affecting and to Carleton U. instead, when I realized that by comparison, the each other but hopefully you will clear some of he go his judgment? Can you offer him some advice? scene really air and start caring yourself. Laurier social sucks. Yours Truly, for I came to Laurier for Business and got kicked out by the end of Loneliness is something that won't just dis- Mr. Hooter's Buddy my first year, after doing poorly in classes I had no interest in, just appear by itself. If you surround yourself with Dear Mr. Hooter's Buddy, another member of the 25 per cent club that Big Jim McCutcheon friends that are supportive of you maybe some of Although no study has been conducted warns all BU 111 students against joining. scientific the ache will be soothed. on the power the mustache and shaggy hair has If this were a perfectly rational world, I would have gone to Car- of I care, on a person's judgment, but my omnipotent wisdom leton for Journalism, partied like a wild dog with all my old buds, and Ouija tells me your shouldfirst go to a barber. probably already met the girl of my dreams and fallen in love (an friend My next advice to your friend would be to tell kept my eyes open last two years, tell ya, aside: I've for the and I she him he is promoting a lot unnecessary stereo- Dear Ouija, Laurier...) of sure doesn't go to types about a woman's body which has caused so My roommate is promiscuous. She invites this a rational world: instead of Carleton, went to But isn't I many women to turn to silicone. My advice to you is people over when I'm not there, they sleep in my home, I school far away from my where I knew no one upon arrival, to tell him to watch more talk shows and keep in bed, don't change the sheets and never tell me. really boring classes...maybe destiny sent and enrolled in has me here mind that more is not always better; the most im- have talked to her about this many times, and she for another reason, I console myself, maybe I'll take a bullet for Dean portant thing is always the nipple. knows how much I hate her behaviour. Yet she Nichols (hello, Sir!) someday, thus saving his life: anything, any- Oops, my silicone is slipping, doesn't listen! I am tired of doing laundry all the thing, to explain why I'm living in Waterloo instead of someplace Ouija time! Help me. else. Thanks, As for regrets though, I have none. As I've said at length, there's Dear Ouija, All Washed Up. absolutely no discernible reason why, at the time I did, I chose to I am having a serious problem that I don't quite Dear All Washed Up, come to Laurier: but: nowthat I'm here, I think of the people I have know how to handle. One of my roommates has Have you considered getting a deadbolt lockfor met, the friends I have made, the things I have seen, the laughs I have started to see someone that I was very interested in. your bedroom door? Or maybe even a toll system

— least shared...and I realize I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. I try to be as "jovial" as possible regarding the set up you could call it "pay per lay". At As Robert Frost wrote, "Two woods diverged in the wood, and I situation, but sometimes it is rather hard. I am still then you'd be able to pay for all that laundry.

-- all the dif- I took the road less travelled by, and that has made on very good terms with both of them, as I don't The sometimes militant, ference." feel I should waste their friendships. I just can't Ouija. THURSDAY, MARCH 19, ±992 THE CORD COMMENT 13 VOCAL CORD COMICS SPEAKBESEEN AND CEREBELLA by Ryan Feeley By Allan Lee & Chris Skalkos

"Green beer \e a good thing!" "I say we suck up." — Leppy, 2nd year Gaelic — Jeff & Angie, 2nd year Grovelling STARVING ARTISTS FOOD-FIGHT. University Life by Kevin Watson

"I'm not whining, Pm glad to be gone!" "If Jimmy cracked corn does --Tom Merk, 6th year anybody care?" Procrastination ~ Homey the Clown & hie intoxicated playmate, Ist year Flopping The Goddess gives women strength

worship's the Goddess is up to Goddess love, in whatever ther does little to empower and that person. All these individual form a woman finds gratifying, fulfill women spiritually. He is a expressions of belief interact to- gives her the inner strength and male God created by men, for gether in the larger circle of faith. direction necessary to help her to men. WOMEN WORDS spirituality belongs by Women's These individuals form one deal with all stages of her life. Goddess The Centre cohesive and fluid movement, in- The Goddess is celebrated in to everyone, not just feminists. stead of acting against each other youth, maturity and age. Each She has meaning for all people. By Diane Sardi world. She is the world — she is as Catholicism and Protestantism stage of a woman's life is valued She is a symbol of the holistic na- Gaia. do. equally. ture of life on Earth, in which all earliest artifacts, She is found in each and The Goddess symbol helps us Youth is celebrated in the forms of being are one. Humanity'sfemale statues found during every one of us. She can be to understand our potential, and maiden aspect of the Goddess. But the Goddess has a special the Upper Paleolithic known by each and every one of our role on this planet. She gives The Goddess as mother is some- meaning for women. She serves period, show the awe our an- us. women a sense of direction, a times depicted giving birth -- the as an expression of the power of cestors felt for women and the She does not legitimize the rule motivating energy, a strength, a symbol for all the creative life the female mind and body. And it mysteries surrounding them. of either sex by the other and courage. giving powers of the universe. is the power of these female Women could bleed painless- gives no authority to rulers of She is a source of female en- These life giving powers are minds that will set female bodies ly in rhythm with the moon, give hierarchies. ergy that fuels and refuels us in not limited to physical birth. and souls free. birth and provide food from their The image of the Goddess in- our struggle against all human Women also give birth to poems, The Goddess forms the foun- bodies for their children. All of spires women to see ourselves as oppression. There is a mood of songs and books. dation of our being leading to the these designated women as mysti- divine, our bodies as sacred, and joyous celebration of female free- At the end of life, women in- harmonization of self and body, cal deities. the changing phases of our lives dom and independence that is carnate the crone aspect of the self and others, self and world. Male gods were only intro- as holy. She symbolizes the created in women who find truth Goddess. The wise old woman, The Goddess was originally a duced in 4500 BC, in India, the power of the female body and and identity through the symbol near to death, has distance and symbol of female power. That Middle and Near East, Eastern mind. of the Goddess. perspective on the problems of past power is what we have to Europe and Latin America. Through the Goddess, we can Some find this source of fe- life. Women learn to value youth, draw on to lead us forward. Artifacts related to the God- discover our strength, enlighten male energy within themselves; creativity and wisdom in them- The need for a positive female dess religion are dated as early as our minds, own our bodies and others regard it as external. selves and other women. self image, the search for new 25000 BC. celebrate womanhood. We can Some feel it in the ocean, the Women, since the decline of ways to speak about the sacred, Goddess symbolism is dif- move beyond narrow, constrictive moon, a tree, the flight of a bird. Goddess religions, have lacked the effort to redefine who a ferent than the symbolism of God roles and become whole. Others find it in lighting of a religious models that speak to fe- woman is, and to transform a the Father. There is no party line on God- candle, chanting, or meditating male needs and experiences. patriarchal world ~ all this comes The Goddess does not rule the dess worship. How each person alone or with other women. The concept of God the Fa- from Goddess spirituality. M.i '^JB

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feH SCENE Voivod, conceptual and sci-fi vigour unmatched by their vinyl Langevin) emerged from pre- guitarist Piggy, a new incarnations. Dimension concert dormancy to deliver a should be forthcoming under the Hatross' centrepiece "Tribal vibrant performance on drums. new contract sometime during the Convictions" was rendered pow- Voivod are currently negotiat- summer. Will a new album be the erfully, oozing with menace from ing a new contract with their label one to finally give Voivod the its thunderous intro to its status they deserve? If imagina- MCA, the result of some dis- tion and inventiveness tumultuous conclusion. satisfaction were ever with promotion and recognized by North American For an encore, Voivod per- the handling of several songs formed their bewitching version audiences, Voivod would be huge of Floyd's "Astronomy Domine", from Angel Rat. According to already. easily the most anticipated song of the evening. The evening ended with the first track of , the grisly, self-titled anthem "VOIVOD". Throughout, each member gave a charged performance. Vocalist Snake (Denis Belanger) writhed around on the stage, visually more like a crazed most of the Angel Rat album; Phil Desmond Michael Hutchence than your gothic songs such as "The Prow" Cord Entertainment average metal frontman. Guitarist and "Twin Dummy" were played Piggy (Denis d'Amour) proves to tightly and enthusiastically, as For those unacquainted with be both an exceptionally original was their current video single the band, Voivod are a hard-rock and talented player, as much in "Clouds in My House". They also quartet hailing originally from the live arena as on record. New performed some brand new Jonquiere, Their highly bass player Pierre St. Jean looks Quebec. material from their next album, conceptual, sci-fi oriented music almost deliriously happy to be and it was mighty impressive too. has been improving constantly part of the band, and seems to en- since their 1984 vinyl debut War Despite the relatively low pro- joy every moment on stage. St. and Pain. Over the course of file of the group, it was clear that Jean also plays guitar and sings in eight years and six studio , Voivod have a loyal cult follow- another as yet unsigned band in their music has become in- ing in the area. The throng was Quebec. Drummer Away (Michel creasingly accessible to a wider genuinely enthused and the group Chico Galvez audience, a fact witnessed and ap- really seemed to react to this. Cord Entertainment preciated by an enthusiastic Despite the high energy level, the crowd at the University of Water- mosh was lively without being loo's Fed Hall on Saturday eve- violent; thankfully absent was the It was a brutally cold Tuesday ning. frenzied Slayerhead stage diving night, minus 15 degrees C. to be of Voivod's November ap- black whitest exact. Voivod opened their set with Although inside "Panorama", the frenetic lead pearance at Rock'n'Roll Heaven. Kitchener's Stages it was nice track of their recent release Angel The rest of the set consisted of and toasty thanks to a hot helping Rat. Driving guitars and volcanic crowd favourites such as the hard of some wicked blues. Yes I'm drumming stirred the crowd, hitting "Warriors of Ice" and the talking about the legendary bouncing around almost hyp- lengthy "Nuclear War", all guitarist Johnny Winter. To the notized. They continued to play delivered with precision and delight of a full-house crowd, Johnny dished out a fascinating array of blues tunes that date back to the early 70's. Hitting his fifties, Johnny is said to be the whitest black man Carter; stoppable alive. Ironically, he looks like he hasn't seen a day of sunlight in Feizal Valli drool that the London press heaps his life. You only have to look at Cord Entertainment on every Brit band that manages his roots to realize that living in to toss a single on the less-than- the deep south U.S.A., he was Carter USM, a relatively new disceming U.K. chart. heavily influenced by rhythm and offering out of England, typifies And, most noticeably, Carter blues while growing up. the kind of trite, smart-assed trash USM seems to define the very So you ask what is he doing that has been coming out of the "Britishness" that many of the coming all the way to the great U.K. music scene for the past two other U.K. bands only hint at. white north. Rumour has it that years. Now, whether that's good or not he visits a little lady that happens Less danceable than E.M.F. depends on how you feel about to live in the area. This could par- and not quite as witty as the British humour and soccer; tially help explain his longevity Wonderstuff, Carter USM shares 30something often sounds like in the profession. Although I per- at least a few things with their the soundtrack to a very bad sonally think that it's his British contemporaries; for Monty Python movie, or as if it is awesome blend of blues that he starters, they're easily as dis- being sung by soccer hooligans dishes out that keeps him going. posable and innocuous as the for- having tea on Coronation Street. Whatever the case, one thing is mer and almost as pretentious and The eleven tracks on certain: Johnny Winter's brand of obnoxious as the latter. 30something, their major-label blues is definitely finger lickin' Secondly, thet seem to be debut and second full length al- photo: Chico Galvez good. covered in the same sickening continued to page 18 THURSDAY, THE CORD MARCH 19, 1992 16 SCENE Ozzy: same old desire

Tom Szeibel album, as compared to No Rest It just won't leave me alone... Cord Entertainment for the Wicked. Also in the lineup The Road to Nowhere leads are veteran Ozzy musicians to me." Ozzy Osbourne Randy Castillo (drums), and Bob As for Ozzy's outlook on his No More Tears Daisley (bass), and John Sinclair career as it exists now, he de- EPIC on keyboards, as well as Michael scribes it best in "Desire": Inez, providing 'Inspiration and "It's the same old desire Although I've been a faithful Musical Direction.' Most of the Nothing has changed, noth- Ozzy fan since the tender age of songs are collaborations between ing's the same twelve (a fact I'm not ashamed several band members, and the Burning like fire of), I'll be the first to admit my results are creative tracks; they Don't you ever take my name surprise when I first heard No are melodic and full of evergy. in vain." More Tears, the latest release Even Ozzy's voice is sounding from the 'Madman of Rock.' better than ever. Ozzy proves not to be the burned- The more notable songs include out, past-his-time mogul of the tide track, "Mr. Tinkertrain" manic-depressive hard rock that (about a child-molester), he appears to be. "Desire", and the ballads "Time No More Tears is, quite simply, After Time," and "Mama, I'm cartels DevinSexKreuger "Like A Throttle",andare the dealingviolence and canaland various an root Ozzy's Coming Home," which is ab- refreshing, and probably Cord Entertainment 'funkiest' and the most likely to 'unique' sexual practices, you best album since the loss of solutely heavenly song. Osboume be heard in alternative dance might like the lyrics as well. Randy Rhodes a decade seems to be reflecting on his in- guitarist SEX AND VIOLENCE by clubs. Inside the visually stunning (though still no comparison). famous musical career in "Road ago Boogie Down Productions Side two is a disappointment and provocative jacket, KRS- This is largely attributable to his to Nowhere": as it becomes pedantic and less ONE has written, "I call this al- Zakk Wylde, "The wreckage of my life newest star axeman, SEX AND VIOLENCE is a enthusiastic after the upbeat side bum SEX AND VIOLENCE be- really through on this keeps haunting me who shines scream, to say the least. one. cause this is what entertainment Probably the most entertain- Overall, as long as you don't has become in '92, thus creating a ing part of the album is the intro- listen to the lyrics, you might en- more sexist and violent youth in duction. The first sounds on the joy this album. And, if you sup- America via the world". What the tape are the sounds of rapper port rape, gold-digging, drug- hell does that mean? KRS-ONE either having a root canal without anesthetic, or hav- ing the best orgasm of his life (probably the latter). The overall tone of side one is a mix of rap and a reggae beat, making it danceable, but the deep bass beat gets repetitive after the fourth or fifth song. Express yourself The second and fourth tracks with our on the album, "Duck Down" and

We Understand Procrastination... H That's Why on Sunday Nights we have H■ Wunhrt* ]Uf/ihf ■ Forget About Term Papers, Relax HH and Get Your Fill of Good Cheap F00d... Cause Remember Life's Too Short to Stay Locked THURSDAY, MARCH 19, 1992 THE CORD SCENE 17 Wait for the video Duane Barrett system. My Cousin Vinny isn't Yorker, he has absolutely no con- through the American South can they are pulled over and arrested. CordEntertainment one of them. First of all, lawyer ception of the culture in the identify with the fear of anal In order to make things run Vincent Gambini (Joe Pesci) has Southern town he finds himself, smoothly, Macchio admits to the retentive cops. Because of this never tried a case before, and has and he certainly does NOT want crime, before he realizes that he fear, we easily feel sorry for the There have been many learned nothing of the legal pro- to look like a tourist. These facts is being charged with murder. courtroom dramas that have cess in his Brooklyn law school. plus the threat of ruining any two college students (played by Wityh no money, Vinny, the law- glorified the great American legal Secondly, as a streetwise New chances of a career, his rela- Ralph Macchio and Mitchell yer in the family, is called on for tionship with his fiancee, and Whitfield)in this movie. After the rescue. Problem is though, sending his cousin to the electric stopping for food at a general Vinny doesn't know what he's chair, make for a pretty interest- store in Wazhoo City, Alabama, doing. ing film. they leave forgetting to pay for a Joe Pesci is outstanding in his Anyone that has driven can of tuna. Shortly afterwards role as the Brooklyn lawyer. Then again, has he ever been dis- appointing? The character is loosely based on the character of Joey La Motta which Pesci played in Raging Bull, and his casual manner and bad grammar do little to help him out in a proper small town. Ralph Mac- chio, who plays Vinny's cousin up on murder charges (of which he is completely innocent) doesn't do a bad job, although his role is minor. This is definitely a one character movie. As a whole, the movie was pretty entertaining. Although it had some cheesy dialogue and situations, the funny parts were damn hilarious. The climactic courtroom scene more than made up for the long wait getting there. THURSDAY This movie isn't going to be a March 19 classic or a movie that you'll re- Art Exhibit member forever, but it will enter- Laurier Art Gallery tain you. My Cousin Vinny is worthwhile to see on Half-Price Faculty-Staff 10th Annual Tuesdays, or for the youth price -Student Art Show of five bucks if you are under 10:00 am -7:00 pm weekdays twenty. If you can't make it on a Continues to April 3 Tuesday, wait for video. Free Admision Music at Noon Lynne Gangbar-guitar Simon Wynberg-guitar 12:00 noon Aird Recital Hall 1 Free Admission SUNDAY MIEN T]1 0KL March 22 Women's Choir Concert Leslie De'Ath-Conductor 3:00 pm Aird Recital Hall Admisison: Adults $6, Seniors $3 W 99 Students/Special Needs Persons-Free LeMANS^W" Baroque Ensemble Concert AEROCOUPE Michael Purves-Smith-Conductor San Alessio by Stefano Landi * 8:00 pm Theatre Auditorium Admission: Adults $6, Seniors $3 Students/Special Needs Persons-Free WEDNESDAY March 25 WLU Faculty of Music presents Student Composers Concert Glenn Buhr, Director OR OflL" 8:00 pm Aird Recital Hall Free Admission $ $ uonTH * ,a,e! THURSDAY 8390. 6.9%* 175/ March 26 month lease 2195 Optional Buy Back offer expires Music at Noon 96,000 km/term FREIGHT INCLUDED. APRIL 7/92 Jazz Trio: Assigned to Ron Schirm-trombone *750 Graduate Program Dealer. Karl Stevenson-bass John Sherwood-piano STEVESCHERBR MMM 1 PDI+FREIGHT INCLUDED I 12:00 Noon, Aird Recital Hall $750 Graduate rebate assignee Free Admission POIMTIAC BUICK GMC U"D. 1225 Courtland Avenue E, Kitchener, Ontario N2C 2NB Phone: 893-8888 Parts: 893-8883 Fax: 893-8813 "If it's got our name on it... you've got our word on it! THURSDAY, MARCH 19, THE CORP 199? 18 SCENE To 3e Scene UranusLuft chunksame a MARCH 19 Joanna a the village, the occasional drink and pas- In of life very concert at Cord Entertainment cafe/tavern owner is maliciously sion for poetry, animate the , Honeymoon Suite in Stages. accused of sheltering Maxime movie to heights of hilarity and Music at Noon: Lynne Gangbar, guitar. Recital Hall, Aird Loin and, although he rebels tenderness. Although Uranus has Centre. After WWII, how can one against the false charges, cannot left the Princess, it will most like- The 10th Annual Laurier Art Show in the Laurier Gallery, Aird from pm. possibly state that there is evil in withstand the political conniving ly return and you must watch Centre 7-9 MARCH 21 no man? How can one, whose that infects the village like a (for) it. In the meantime, how- bombing The University Choir and University Orchestral Ensemble wife is killed in a attack plague. ever, another French movie, of Conrad Grebel College presents George F. Handel's while she sleeps with her lover, Notwithstanding the sober Madame Bovary, is playing-it Samson, directed by Robert Shantz. Humanities Theatre, 8 pm. believe in inherent human good- realities of Uranus, the bear-like has thus far entertained sell-out Tickets are $4 (students and seniors). ness? The French movie Uranus ferocity and sensitivity of crowds and thus recommends it- $6 and MARCH 22 does not focus on this desperately Leopold, enhanced by both the self. benevolent perspective, but rather The UW Chamber Choir presents a choral concert at St. John's smoothly incorporates it along Lutheran Church at 8 pm. Tickets are $6 and $4 (students and with a number of other tensions seniors). and contradictions. The story un- MARCH 26 folds as it does, and the charac- Music at Noon: Jazz Trio - Ron Schirm, trombone, Karl ters act as they do, because such Stevenson, bass, and John Sherwood, piano. are life and people. There are no Photographer Peter Ross will discuss his work in an informal talk contrived motivations in the at 7 pm, the Library and Gallery in Cambridge. storyline, no stunningly coherent The Global Community Centre presents Hijos Del Maiz at the conclusions that neatly tie every- Emmanuel United Church, 7:30 pm. thing up . Uranus is a picture of a MARCH 27 chunk of life, not a packaged be- Canadian singer and songwriter Connie Kaldor in concert. ginning, middle and end, and yet Emmanuel United Church. For ticket info see Judy Small concert it is extraordinary. info (March 13). Uranus is set in a French village The UW Concert Band presents a concert directed by Karen Tomlin at 8 pm at the Humanities Theatre. The UW Stage Band immediately after the liberation 15 of France from Nazi control, continuedfrom page daddy\ will also perform. Tickets are $6 and $4 (students and seniors). which creates an atmosphere bum, swerve everywhere from some peppermint paddy\ MARCH 28 thick with political and ideologi- acidic instrumentals like "Surfin' or just a hackneyed old cab- Two Nice Girls (from Texas) in concert. The Commercial cal conflict. The Archambaud USM" to stomach turning dirges bie\ Tavern, Maryhill. Tickets: 747-8765. family on which Uranus focuses like "A Prince in a Pauper's who can drive your babby MARCH 31 is embroiled in the political Grave" and"The Final Com- away." An exhibition of Peter Shwartzman's artwork at Eldon Gallery in turmoil because they secretly har- edown". Of course, Carter USM Waterloo. The Exhibition continues to April 25. bour Maxime Loin, a man wanted And as far as writing goes, couldn't be considered complete- MUSIC AT NOON: Every Tuesday and Thursday at noon, the stu by the state for his strong Fascist Carter USM must cling closely to ly without creative merit unless staff of the Faculty of Music free sympathies. The Archambaud the same school of thought that they were to sample a few people dents and present concerts in the Recital Hall the Aird Centre. are welcome. family thus put themselves in ex- thinks Yoko Ono is a misunder- who were; well they do, and in All Attention WLU artists: Your entries are welcome in the 10th An- treme danger for they live im- stood genius. From "Falling on a somewhere David Bowie and Joe nual Laurier Art Show - Student - Faculty - Staff. The show runs mediately beside an active mem- Bruise": Strummer are wincing at the "...you thought. March 16 - April 3, 1992 in the Laurier Gallery, John Aird Centre. ber of the Communist Party. need more Nutrasweet V /

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~ Exp. March 25/92 " jj ff r) // FREE DELIVERY ! ¥r{ \ 94 Bridgeport Rd.E. WHH IHB I mmg\ I Waterloo «19c I BREAD I m /\AAA !3l ® 725-9999 I OMLY tA AA I ! j J ; (WITH COUPON) fWI"7 | i I^——— SPORTS Hawkey Hawks got shafted by Geoff Thureson chances of their own, the puck going to convert some of its In a gesture of monumental pro- Cord Sports just wasn't bouncing for them. chances, but the ref put a stop to portions, the ref gave the Hawks Case in point; Donny McConnell that when they called a penalty on a two-man powerplay. The Laurier faced Acadia in the first fed Smitty, but he just couldn't Sean Davidson. The Laurier kill- Laurier powerplay was right on semi-final game of the National convert the shot. Pracey remained ing unit came up big again, the money for this one. After get- Championships last Saturday. strong, keeping the Hawks in it blanking the Acadia powerplay. ting the puck from Marc Lyons, Our Hawks lost 5-2. To put it despite the refs' best attempts to The Hawks got back to their own Mike Dahle fed Kevin Greco on simply, one huge reason for the the other side of the net through loss was that we got shafted by the crease, and BINGO!!! Tie the refereeing. But more on that game. later. The score apparently (and I The game started with end to end stress apparently), went to 2-1 action, though Laurier seemed to prevails Laurier when a slapshot from the be unprepared for the speed and Bitterness point bounced off the boards and by Thureson passing of squad. Geoff went to Griggs in the high slot. the Acadian Cord Sports There were close calls early, such Acadia's goalie was sitting on his as when Jim McLaren was ass IN the net when Griggs fired Needless to say, none of the Hawkey Hawks were pleased with stripped of the puck at his own the puck. The netminder caught the shafting they received from the ref they got on Saturday blueline, setting up a two on none it, but he was in the net. This afternoon. The Hawks lost 5-2 to the Acadia University Axemen, but for Acadia. Fortunately, it was should have been a goal, but the the ref made himself such a factor in the game that he should have offside. Soon after, Hawk net- referee, for reasons known only been listed along with winning goalie and game winning goal scorer. minder Rick Pracey stoned to himself, decided that Laurier After the game, I talked to a few of the Hawks who were outside Acadia's George Dupont, but the should not be given the lead. No the dressing room talking to the press, and a couple of others I rebound went to another Acadian goal, game still tied. managed to grab and get some comments out of. The first was team There was nothing the forward. The open net was there Then, if you can believe it, bench captain Larry Rucchin, who played his last game in a Hawks uniform could do about the ref. for him, he lost puck Laurier picked up another penalty but the in on Saturday. I asked him about a few topics, die first being about the The cont'd on page 21 his skates. Hawks dodged refereeing. These are a few of the choice comments he had about two bullets early. them: Defenceman Jamie Patenall also kind enough to hang around And after that is when the ref was "He did his job, and showed the whole nation how to really stick for a short interview, and the same questions were posed to him. started to do a job on Laurier. He it to a team. This was supposed to be a showcase of the CIAU, and "This is the Nationals. They should try and get the best quality of called a questionable minor pen- they should have gottenrefs who could keep up with the play. To lose officiating they can. I don't mind losing to a better team, but we alty on Mark Strohack, but the was fine, but not to lose like that because of the refereeing." showed them we were a better team 5-on-5." Hawks worked the box to perfec- I also asked if he felt any bitterness towards the CIAU, seeing as I asked Jamie about the goal that was called back, the one Steve tion, stymieing the crisp Acadia this was his last crack at winning the National Championship. Griggs apparently scored when the puck was caught in the net passing. Pracey made a couple "About the game, yes, I feel bitter. But not about the season we "Hie rules say that if the puck crosses the plane of the goal, it's in, great pad saves and Don McCon- had. We didn't get a whole lot of respect going into the game, but and it crossed the plane. We had the momentum, we were all over nell blocked one at the line. Then now, after seeing us, we'll get some respect We had to just keep them. It would have helped us." Smitty Kulafofski got called for going, and get through the game Best of luck to Acadia in the Jamie Patenall will be back with the team next year, so asked minor. (See a pattern forming I finals." him how next year, they they here!) Laurier looked far and if think will be back again to the National Championships. The Hawks got the best chance shaft Laurier. game in the second, working the "We'll have a good team next, because we have a lot of good on the Acadia power-play when There were signs of good things corners and showing great hustle. back, but we're losing some of the best Mark McCreary stole the puck at to come at the end of the first pe- But then....you can guess from players coming players I ever played with. be the Laurier blueline and went riod, as the Hawks started press- there. We'll definitely back." Though all these complaints screaming down the ice, blowing ing strongly in the Acadia net, but Acadia had a couple of close about the officiating may sound very being by by the Acadian defenders and just Laurier just couldn't punch the calls around the Hawk net, but much like sour grapes spewed the losing team, Jamierelated this incident with referee. After missing scoring a goal when he puck into the net during the mas- the score remained the 1-0 be- Marc Lyons was assessed his double minute minor for hitting the goaltender, of the players bounced it off the cross-bar. sive scramble. cause of one thing-Rick Pracey. one Acadia asked the ref why he didn't give him a ten minute misconduct Mark Acadia drew first blood, how- The Hawks came out flying in Laurier got a break when Smitty McCreary happened to be standing behind the ref during this ex- ever, when a shot from the side of the second, showing great drew a penalty after he was change, and the ref replied: "I wanted to make them hurt" the net bounced off Pracey's patience and coming up with mugged on a Hawk rush. But Jamie finished off by stating: "They'll be in for a rude awakening shoulder and under the cross-bar. some great scoring chances. The then, things couldn't keep going tomorrow, they won't get reffing like that again." Not that the Hawks didn't have strong Hawk press was obviously Laurier's way for long. Mark Assistant captain Smitty Kulafofski also took the time out to talk Strohack was cross-checked to to me, and he was also severely disappointed with the officiating in and had helmet the chin his the National Championships. knocked off his noggin. (The ref "He was calling penalties that shouldn't be called. We work all saw this by the way, and deigned year, every day, just to get here, then we get cheap calls from the ref. it not worthy of his attention). We showed them that 5-on-5, they couldn't touch us. The ref made Strohack stayed in the play and himself a factor." stood himself in front of the net. I also asked him about the called back goal: "That changes every- He was called for playing without thing. He didn't have the guts to call it. Another mistake." a helmet Finally, I Smit if he thought the Hawks would be vying for This cheap call just fired the asked the National Championship again next year. Hawks up more. Lyons launched "Oh yeah. We just have to regroup and try it all over again. Not a shot at the Acadian net from the much that you can do about it now." blueline, and it almost snuck by 4 Hie shafting job that the Hawks received this year should leave a the goalie. Laurier just out- fire burning in them for next year. They have what it takes to get hustled and outworked the there, and they now know what it takes to win it Good refereeing. Axemen, though Acadia did have They have the fans now, if the people who showed in Toronto con- a chance to make it 2-0, but the tinue to show up for the regular season games next year. I'll leave off forward who had the net It was a fight to the end. open with the only thing Steve Griggs felt like saying after the game. „ fucked it up by missing the net Pic: Chns Skalkos "We got FUCKED!!" THK CORD THURSDAY, MARCH 19. loo? 20 SPORTS Tales of an Escort GT junkie by Dean Macko My car was equipped with My thanks to Parkway Ford, all the pamphlets and promotional does!). Finally, I guess some Cord Sports standard transmission, and an and specifically lan Hasler, the material he could muster, and thanks should go to Mazda who eye-catching aqua paint scheme. new-car sales manager. He was didn't make me take a salesman helped Ford design this Let me tell you a story. My The interior is excellent. The tripping over himself getting me along for the ride (like Honda pleasurable automobile. Later. 1986 red Ford Escort GT went steering wheel is thick and through hell and back. My friend stitched with genuine leather (see Daryl was the culprit of a hor- last week for the reason why this rendous downshift from fifth to has something to do with second on a cool summer's day in McDonald's). The instrument Belleville. I taught three people panel is nicely laid out, and the how to drive standard in that car, heating controls and radio, easy and every time, the smell of burnt to reach. The back seats actually clutch could be smelt from here have room for legs, and are not to Medicine Hat. Lynn and Mike merely a shelf to place your case will attest to the fact that there of beer on when Brewer's Retail were numerous tire-screeching, calls. tachometer-bursting, joyrides My only complaint with the Not a but a solid one. right here in the Waterloo area. entire driving experience has to flashy car, The car was great. Until the day I deal with the shifter. Once you decided to have a marshmallow cut through all the "transaxle, roast in the front seat of my car. synchronizer, closer, and final- Actually, as my BU2II group can drive ratio" crap, you must then testify, my little red screamer had notice whether the gear shifter is an electrical shortage in the dash slick, like oil, or not-so-slick. not so nice to ground. Luckily This shifter is slick, in a sloppy- Marty's and burnt the I was not in the car at the time, but joe kinda way. The shifter feels by Mark the Mauler cocaine taped to his legs. If this It seems that the Legion Of have never been able to eat rubbery and there is plenty of I Cord Sports incident took place in the fall, it Doom has left the WWF for roasted nuts again. When the in- lateral slack between gates. This Inside information recently could have given WWF scrip- Japan's large wrestling market. surance money came back, I had is the only chink in an otherwise revealed what the Mauler twriters plenty of time to turn The Mauler does not know the myself a black 1988 Ford Escort fine piece of armour. But don't believes to be the real reason be- Shawn Michaels into a reason for their departure, but GT. Why did I buy it again? Be- get me wrong, I'd rather be a hind the breakup of the Rockers. rulebieaker before the convicting wrestling in Japan is as popular as cause it's a fairly inexpensive car music student than to have the Marty Janetty was caught in a courtdate. Janetty hasn't been the NFL is over here. They will to buy used, it can travel at a half- automatic transmission, so get the U.S. airport with 2 kilos of seen in the WWF as of late. be a sadly missed main attraction. decent clip, and it ran like a 5-speed anyway. Curt "Mr. Perfect" Hennig may charm. These are the same at- The engine is hot Hotter than still be out of action for another tributes that can be found in the a nun in the desert. It delivers 127 six months. His near career- brand new 1992 Ford Escort GT, horsepower at 6500 rpm, and 114 ending back injuries are still per- which is the subject of this lbs of torque. Like other multi- sisting from those awesome head week's test-drive. valve 4 cylinder engines, this one lands he used to do when thrown The attractiveness of the styl- needs a bit of winding out before into a turnbuckle. Hennig proba- ing is obviously an objective the power comes on. But when it bly isn't complaining too much thing. But the styling of the new does, you'd better be watching though, as he is currently receiv- Escort has received a unanimous for cherries in your rear-view ing $25000/ in compensa- thumbs-down from the automo- mirror. Expect 0-60 mph runs of month tion, plus whatever else the WWF tive press state-side. They com- about 8 seconds, after a little is paying him to play the part of ment the air-dams, rocker practice. on how Ric Flair's Executive Assistant panels, and spoiler all looked Base price for the 1992 Escort and serving as a competent colour on. And how it looks too GT is $15,095. That is an ex- tacked commentator. similar to the old style (I have no tremely reasonable price, and This weekend saw an interview complaints about the old-style Es- compares favourably with GM's facing Bret "Hitman" Hart and cort, I own one!). So let me say Saturn SC, Honda's Civic Si, and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper with each this, the new model looks good, pretty much everything else in other. Piper made it very clear to but Ford plans on making it bet- this tightly packed segment. The everyone that they were friends ter, and will have an early intro- skidpad numbers are good at .82 No, they're not wrestlers. They're the 1992 Bellyflop and also stated that he wanted to duction of the face-lifted 1993 g's, and the brakes work well winners: Homey the Clown (2nd), The Electric Hillbilly back out of the Intercontinental Escort. Expect to see them in a with discs all the way around, (3rd). Championship title match at month or two. even if they aren't ABS. (Ist), Karate Kid IV Wrestlemania VIII with Hart. Hart wanted his title back and vowed that he would do anything to get it, even if it meant wres- tling Piper. Piper then vowed that he would hate Hart's guts and would do everything possible to to the Hockey Hawks Hart Congratualtlons stop him. As they parted, turned his back to Piper's raised I.C. belt just as Hart turned for a thrilling season. YonVe made around. "I could've had you Bret," Piper exclaimed. Look for Piper to interfere with Hart's matches before WM VIA. Waterloo proud. Hail to the new WCW World Champion Sting. Sting defeated "The Total Package" Lex Luger for his second world title reign- Incidentally, Luger (whose real name is Larry Phfol), has left the organization and is rumoured to be WWF bound in early 1993. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine has jumped ship to the WC recently and has teamed up witn jewellers the Tailor Made Man (ex W\vr A Red Rooster). This new tag-team "tf'Q when they T7D NT upset pulled a major defeated Ron Simmons and Big rvr\l\ ivo since 1919 Tag-Team r Josh for the U.S. Championship on February 29. tan , 8 King Street S. 886-4811 Tune in next week, mat for more blow by blow wrestling action. THURSDAY, MARCH 19,1992 THE CORD SPORTS 21 Bonkers over the Jays by Chris Werynski discussion about the pros and Meanwhile, Manuel Lee injured Manuel. out for dinner and had a frank Cord Sports cons of soapstone carvings. Light his arm in a fit ofrage after strik- And on a human interest note, tided to go with the peach yogurt BONKERS OVER beverages were served. ing out five times in a row play- John Olerud spent the day with for breakfast while Joe Carter THE BLUE JAYS my dog threw up on the recliner ing tee-ball. "I guess its harder his cousin twice removed on his settled for pancakes. "That white last winter." than it looks", commented father's second side. They went stuff reminds me of something I hate to bring this up, espe- cially since I am a big Blue Jays fan, but given Mother Nature's gift of infinite winter to Kitchener-Waterloo, and the fact that the Leafs are in a playoff still alive can't even about Hawkey pride hunt, I THINK baseball yet! I know that the media in cont'd from page 19 play and was halfway into the given him his. This left Laurier alty to even things up. During a Southern Ontario is infatuated at the end of the second period. net, stood up and knocked the net with three men on the ice, one line change, the Hawk departing with the Blue Jays, but every Driving in on a rush, Marc Lyons off the moorings with his without a stick, and a goalie play- the ice for the bench was hit with night I witness pathetically gave the Acadia goalie a little shoulders. You guessed it—two ing with a defencemen's stick. a clearing shot. He was not in- unimportant "news" about the love tap after he had pounced on minutes for delay of game. Acadia slipped a pass through the volved in the play in any other Blue Jays. Sure, tell us if the Jays the puck. Lyons was immediately This left the Hawks at least two crease to a waiting forward on the way. That was enough for the ref win their Spring Training game, confronted with a couple of men down for two minutes, and a other side. 3-1 Acadia. to assess a bench minor, though. apparently at- but DO YOU REALLY want to Axemen, and received a two- man short for about a minute and In what was an Acadia put the game basically to away know if Dave Stieb and Jack minute minor. There is some dis- a half after that. The ref certainly tempt deflect attention out of reach when they scored on ? the advantage he Morris are good buddies DO pute as to why a minor was was earning his money. Acadia from two-man two on one. The Hawks pulled Al- be covered on the powerplay had given Acadia, the ref called YOU CARE what number called, but that will took the lead Pracey at the end of the game to fredo Griffin might be wearing ? elsewhere. when a shot from the top of the two successive penalties on the try and tie it up, but Acadia DO YOU to know how The third period ended up being WANT scored the empty-netter, ending got poison- downfall. made Kelly Gruber his food Laurier's Pracey "Acadia scored the empty-netter, ending the Hawks' the Hawks' dreams of a National ? tuna a of big early, but ing Was it the surprise or couple stops dreams a National Championship." Championship. the maggot-infested sausage ? the Hawks were torpedoed when of WHO THE HELL CARES ? Mike Dahle got a double minor The Laurier Golden Hawks Don't get me wrong, I am for butt-ending. The ref was the circle hit Smitty, who had Axemen. Laurier converted their hockey team had nothing to be looking forward to the upcoming only one in the entire Western dropped to block the shot and chance this time. Marc Lyons ashamed of, though. Despite hav- baseball season, but I wish people Hemisphere who saw it as butt- bounced over him, and over teed up a slapshot from the ing to play both the Axemen and would not complain about the ending, as Dahle was giving the Pracey, in what seemed like a blueline after getting the puck the ref, they played with heart seemingly infinite length of the Axeman a little hook job from be- torturous slow-motion replay. from Sean Davidson. Smitty and guts. It was not the perfect NHL season when baseball is hind. At worst, it was holding Acadia 2, Laurier 1. tipped it in in front of the net, get- end to a great season, but it was JUST AS BAD! call. In any other league, it would Unfortunately, there were still ting credit for the goal. 3-2, most likely the best that Laurier Here is a sample of the type not have been called at all. two seconds left in Dahle's first Acadia. could have hoped for under the of Blue Jays "news" you may Acadia blew a glorious chance minor, and only that got wiped Laurier started pressing again, circumstances. Hawks, you got have encountered this month. when the defenceman whiffed on out. Laurier was still two men and got a break when Kevin shafted in Toronto, but that DUNEDIN - It was an inter- a point shot into an open net The short. Acadia scored again on the Greco was hauled down on a should not dampen the pride you esting day at the Blue Jays camp play started to go the other way, same powerplay. Pracey had lost Laurier three on two. 8ut....y0u should feel in your accomplish- here in Dunedin. Jimmy Key de- and Pracey, who had fallen on the his stick, and Marc Lyons had guessed it, the Hawks got a pen- ments.

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! Corner of King & University 725-2993 LIVE ENTERTAINMENT ■ - ■ 1 I Saturday 12:00 Midnight till 2:30 THE CORD THURSDAY, MARCH IS>, 1992" 22 SPORTS Werewolves in Sports by fraser kirby bar was pretty quiet. A 6'er in the qualified it as good for women's' women's athletics when the qual- laugh at the thought of posting up Cord Sports corner drinking a pina coloda in a basketball. ity of their play is just as con- Kathy Ireland, I'd kick her crowd of fellow jocks isn't in- We do that a lot in women's sistently excellent as any men's butt...lf I could get past looking at The tranquility of the blue paint cognito. athletics. Think about the Lady teams, with half the financial her numbers... was destroyed by the rending Her hair was perfect. Hawks, The Letterme/i's Club, commitment? Hell, I've seen The players and events in this squeak of Nike hi-tops and the She was wearing jeans and a team The Xavier X-Men, the Acadia powder-puff football teams that story are real, the names and the jostle of bodies as the Mustang t-shirt with her number em- Axe-men\l\ These are qualifying can read an offense better than names of schools have been offense drove through the blazoned in purple on the front terms which allow us to reassert the York Yeomen. altered to protect the best Gryphon D. I watched, white Her handshake only broke about the fact that we macho shit-heads It made me want to go home and rebounder in the game. The ideas knuckled as the best rebounder in eight bones. rule the sporting world. Sorry rip up my SI Swim Suit Edition. I are real. The swim suit edition the league stole the board and I tried hard to look in her eyes sweet-heart, the dressing room is mean, when was the last time a plagues my conscious. Special sunk the second effort like a and not at her number while I in- for boys only. female athlete made the cover of thanks to Warren and THE donut-halfin a steamy cup o' joe. troduced myself. Why do we qualify the nature of SI, Billy Jean King??? Even I WEREWOLVES OF LONDON As the big centre came back to She expressed surprise at media sea-level from the rafters a attention. "Not enough media in- Tensor wrapped elbow smashed terest in women's athletics," She through the nose of one of the quipped. The phrase, "there'd be Gryphon throng that awaited more attention if all women

Toby Chris Werynskistrike..age 28, thisorwould kill thenot?league. Smaller markets "The phrase, "there'd be more attention if all women athletes looked CordSports would not be able to compete. Furthermore, would like you" never crossed my lips. My mind however is an evil, backbit- you rather play in L.A (play golf in your spare ing bastard." Feel free to hit me in the head with a brick if I time) or in Buffalo (play "Escape from the burning am being unreasonable, but what makes the N.H.L factory" on days off) ? players feel the desperate need to strike? Questions Finally, if anyone did not see Ron Maclean in- Earth-bound below. As Laimbeer athletes looked like you" never to ponder: terview the players' union head Bob Goodenow last says, "sometimes an elbow or two crossed my hps. My mind how- 1) Are these not grown men playing hockey FOR A Saturday, here is how the game of "Dodge the ques- is thrown beneath the basket" ever is an evil, back-biting LIVING ? tion" went: Draw blood. bastard. 2) Has the average player's salary not doubled in MACLEAN: "How can the owners afford your The two points put the 'Stangs Hey, who is the Werewolf here the last 3 years? proposals ?" ahead and the final fifteen sec- after all? 3) Will pensions not pay each player HUNDREDS GOODENOW: "Well Ron, our figures show us onds only took about two days We talked for some time about OF THOUSANDS of dollars A YEAR when they that there is plenty of money out there. Besides, with t-outs and fouls that couldn't women's athletics. I felt kinda come of age ? Asuncion is the capital of Paraguay." shake the inevitable conclusion. like she was tearing scales off my This is an absolute joke. As a fan, I am out- MACLEAN: "But WHERE is this money ? The The big rebounding centre stole eyes one by one. I had been too raged that the remainder of the season could either N.H.L forecasts a deficit for this year." the game and I thought an inter- interested in sports as they were be cancelled or delayed, all of this right before the GOODENOW: "The money is there Ron. Al- view would complete the night. being reported by NBC and CBS most exciting part of the year. though the optimal budgetary calculations are en- By the time I made it to the and SI to realize that half the pic- Sure, the players do not receive the kind oi viously relevant, we have found that the Indonesian dressing room I was informed ture is being missed. money that baseball "athletes" receive, but hockey parsley crab can carry ten times its body weight" that No. 36 could be found at The The game I had witnessed ear- owners do not have 81 home dates and 50 000 seats Let's cross our fingers that this strike can be Spoke, I pursued the lead... lier was first rate basketball. For to fill. avoided. By the time you read this, it may have She wasn't tough to spot. The men or women. Yet I had As far as the players' demand for free agency at been.

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