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1 The Newspaper of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society Volume 32 Issue 10 | Wednesday, July 20, 2011

South Sudan Becomes Nortel Patents Sell for $4.5 Billion The Nuclear Power Debate World’s Newest Country

Page 3 Page 4 Page 9 twitter.com/theironwarrior http://iwarrior.uwaterloo.ca WEC Challenges Students: Winners off to OEC

Angelo Alaimo quired to prepare their results overnight 4A Electrical for their presentations the next morning. Everyone seemed to have dark rings under On Friday night, over 160 competitors their eyes due to lack of sleep as the teams and volunteers converged on campus to returned to RCH at 7:00 am. participate in the spring iteration of the Presentations in front of faculty and in- Waterloo Engineering Competition. Un- dustry judges finished up around noon, dergraduate competitors, in teams of four, and the winners were announced shortly are given a previously unreleased engineer- thereafter. The teams that placed first in ing problem and are challenged to come up each category will represent the University with a solution within the night. at the Ontario Engineering Competition in In Junior Team Design, students had to Toronto next February, where if they place create a device in four hours to deploy an in the top two positions, they will progress emergency road across an “earthquake- to the Canadian Engineering Competition damaged” roadway. The challenge proved next March in Vancouver. doable but difficult for participants, espe- Congratulations to this term’s winners: cially since the road was required to de- In Senior Team Design, Shahid Haider - ploy with only a single touch from a team Systems Design Engineering, Benjamin member. Tan - Systems Design Engineering, Yil- In Senior Team Design, the problem ing Wang - Systems Design Engineering, statement took a more light-humoured ap- Martin Lui - Systems Design Engineer- proach as each team pretended to be “fresh ing. In Junior Team Design, Kumar Singh out of Waterloo Engineering” grads with a - Electrical Engineering, Ayush Kapur heavy student debt. The goal was to create - Mechatronics Engineering, Drupandh a contraption within 6 hours capable of re- Manjunath - Chemical Engineering. In trieving riches from the side of mountains Consulting Engineering, Amir Taleghani - in order to repay their loans. Many teams, Civil Engineering, Caitlin Speicher - Civil citing problems with the materials given, Engineering, Matthew Casswell - Civil were able to have a contraption which Engineering, Stuart Pearson - Civil Engi- moved, but few were able to retrieve many neering. gems. The Waterloo Engineering Competition Lastly, in Consulting Engineering, teams is held twice each year in the spring and were “hired” by the Government of On- fall terms. The competition is organized by tario to investigate ways to reduce energy undergraduate engineering students from consumption from commercial and indus- the Engineering Society with sponsorship trial buildings. It was a very open-ended from the Society itself and the Sandford and difficult topic for the competitors who Fleming foundation. The Waterloo Engi- were required to generate a 15+ page re- neering Competition is the University’s port and a 15-20 minute presentation with- qualifier to send competitors to the On- in 5 hours. tario Engineering Competition to compete Angelo Alaimo After completing their projects late Fri- against other engineering schools from The winning teams of the Waterloo Engineering Competition. day night, competitors were further re- across Ontario. From the top: Consulting, Junior Design, and Senior Design categories. From Build-a-Bear to Build-an-Organ

Farzi Yusufali The scaffold used to house the cells that cine are as follow. For one, regenerated were seeded onto it, the tissue was kept in 2B Nanotechnology eventually became the new trachea was organs could be grown at a much faster the shoebox-sized bioreactor in much the built by a research team led by Alexander rate than the time it takes to find a suit- same way one keeps chicken on a rotis- With the recent push towards tissue en- Seifalian, a professor at the University able organ from a donor. Also, since the serie. To seed the cells, a solution of stem gineering and related research, it is sur- College London. The “InBreath” bioreac- engineered organs are usually made with cells and nutrients from the patient would prising that no significant breakthroughs tor used to house the cells was provided by the target patient’s own cells, rejection be poured onto the trachea scaffold, after have been made despite the amount of Harvard Bioscience. The cells taken from should not be a major issue, meaning the which the scaffold was rotated to keep attention the field is getting. This was the patient’s bone marrow were placed on need for immunosuppressant drugs would the cells sterile and warm. Along with the the state of affairs until a revolutionary the polymer scaffold and kept at an opti- be greatly reduced. nutrients included with the stem cell solu- surgery was successfully completed last mal temperature and environment within To create the scaffold, the team at the tion, it was imperative that hormones and month that showcased the power of regen- the bioreactor. The scaffold was rotated University College London used a poly- other biological chemicals were included erative medicine. for a period of two weeks within the bio- mer structure with millions of tiny pores to help the cells differentiate into tracheal Swedish surgeon Paolo Macchiarini reactor so that the cells would grow into to allow the patient’s stem cells to hold on cells. The entire effort would take two from Karolinska University Hospital in the fully-functioning organ. to the structure. First, CT scans were taken weeks with only just two days required Stockholm successfully transplanted an For the first time, stem cells have been of the patient’s trachea. Using these scans, to actually grow the cells into the full tra- artificial, tissue-engineered trachea into a used to grow replacement organs for use a glass mould was made. Strips of poly- cheal tissue. man suffering from the later stages of tra- in the body, which has been the aim of mer were then wrapped around the glass Needless to say, this surgery is a break- cheal cancer. The trachea was constructed regenerative medicine since research in structure to resemble the structural carti- through in the field of regenerative medi- entirely in the lab using a scaffold made this field began. While an organ has been lage rings of the trachea. Next, the model cine, which has been suffering from a with a porous polymer. The tracheal tissue engineered from essentially scratch, the was dipped into a liquid mixture of the number of general setbacks in terms of was grown from the patient’s own stem organ’s function was only structural since polymer mixed with salt. To set the liq- general research goals. After this mas- cells that were kept inside a bioreactor. the trachea is essentially used as a channel uid polymer on the mould, the contraption sive breakthrough in tissue engineering This controlled the surroundings of the for air. Therefore, building more compli- was washed in a solution that dissolved research, all we need now is to wait for cells and promoted cell growth. The pa- cated organs would be far more demand- the salts, thereby causing the polymer to someone to grow more complicated or- tient receiving the new trachea has made ing in comparison to this successful en- congeal into a spongy mass that resembles gans and progress towards being able to a full recovery and has been discharged deavour. the shape of the trachea. grow needed appendages at a moment’s from hospital as of July 8th. Some advantages to regenerative medi- Once the scaffold was built and the cells notice. The Iron Warrior 2 | Editorial  wednesday, July 20, 2011 Letter from the Editor Reflections on Lessons Learned The Newspaper of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society and staff as a resource to temper my opin- with not only fellow students, but also Mikayla ions. There are articles found within the with administration and advertisers (many Editor-in-Chief micomonaco pages of the five issues of this term which thanks to my amazing advertising man- Mikayla Micomonaco Editor-in-Chief never would have seen the light of day had ager, Kate Heymans). On one hand, I’m a others not pushed me to print them or to student trying to get through 4A, and on Assistant Editors give an author a second (or third) chance to the other, I’m running the newspaper. I’ve Chris Letnick This term has gone by amazingly quick- rewrite an article. had to vastly improve my time manage- Roy Lee ly. Suddenly, I find myself facing my last Another challenge has been working ment skills in order to balance two very issue of the term (not to mention my 4th with a variety of people who have very dif- demanding responsibilities. I’ve also had Layout Editors year project deadline). In my last Editorial ferent priorities than me. While I do have to improve my people skills. I’m not natu- Hans Bernard Tee of the term, I’m taking the time to reflect my staff writers, I still get a lot of content rally someone who deals well with manag- Krishna Iyer on the things I’ve learned from holding this coming from people not directly involved ing groups of people; I’m much more com- position. with The Iron Warrior. They don’t neces- fortable sitting in a corner of the office with Copy Editors One of my major challenges this term sarily respect my deadlines and because I a laptop and yelling at them about their Kate Heymans has been censorship. In this case, the cen- can’t really cut all the late content, there grammar. Learning how to manage people Hans Bernard Tee sorship isn’t others censoring me, but my isn’t much I can do to keep them from be- and to get them working without driving own decisions when it comes to choosing ing late. In the past, these kinds of contrib- them away has been a valuable lesson and Photo Editors what I will and will not publish. Those who utors have tended to be very late, putting I think I did a fairly good job at it. Angelo Alaimo know me know that I’m a fairly opinion- pressure on the entire staff during produc- And look what was accomplished. I’m Hans Bernard Tee ated (ok, very opinionated) person. In my tion weekends. very proud of the issues that have been pro- position, as Editor-in-Chief (EIC), I’ve had This term I have tried to be much firmer duced this term and of my team who have Advertising Manager to read and publish opinions which were about deadlines than other Editors have made it possible. Although, at the very be- Kate Heymans drastically opposed to mine. been in the past. I moved the deadline up ginning, I was worried over my choice to I’ve also had to cut articles, defer arti- to noon from 6 pm; while this was an un- take this position, I have to say that I have Circulation Manager cles to a future issue for lack of space and popular move, it seems to have dramati- no regrets. I’ve learned a lot. I've also had Kate Heymans request rewrites of particularly incoherent cally increased the number of articles we to, if not accept others’ ideas, certainly pay Hans Bernard Tee articles. These are decisions that come with see by the end of Friday night. more attention to them than I had in the the job of EIC of any newspaper, but it’s I’ve cut content for being too late which past. According to Kate, I’ve also become Web Editor always difficult to ensure that I’m making have, in a couple of instances, cost me fu- a better manager over the term and it’s nice Vacant the right editorial decisions or if I’m letting ture submissions. With that in mind, it’s to hear that others see that this experience my personal views have too much impact also meant that we’re not scrambling for has helped me too. Staff Writers on the choices I’m making. content Saturday night, which then leads to If you’re not involved in any student ini- Alexander Hogeveen Rutter It’s a hard balance to reach. On one hand, finishing the paper at a reasonable time on tiatives on campus, I’d highly recommend Alison Lee I don’t want to drive away my contributors Sunday. I will admit to being too hard on it. It’s a chance to do something other than Amanda LeDuc and, on the other hand, I want to produce a people sometimes, but without the ability school and an additional chance to develop Ammar Masud quality newspaper; therefore, articles must to enforce my deadlines in any meaningful the soft skills that they keep talking at us Andrew McMahon be kept up to a certain standard and must way, the only way to ensure content comes about. We’re always looking for more help Angelo Alaimo feature appropriate content. While I can be in close to or on-time has been to be really at The Iron Warrior, whether it is writers, Anish Bhutani a fairly good judge of quality writing (as adamant about the deadline. (I might have proofreaders or layout editors. If not, there Anjali Gopal my copy editors can do wonders with arti- threatened to have a wall of shame in the are countless other student teams and clubs Brock Kopp cles), sometimes the line between content office of all the people who have been late, on campus which are also looking for peo- Callie Holt that is inappropriate and content that just I but I never actually did it.) ple. If working with a newspaper doesn't Chad Xu disagree with is hard to find. Overall, managing this paper has been appeal to you, why not find something that Chris Letnick Thankfully, I have my advisory board a big learning experience. I’ve had to deal does? Christy Rouault Dushanth Seevaratnam Eric Cousineau Staff Appreciation Corner Farzi Yusufali Jacob Terry I’ve had a great term as Editor-in-Chief, I would like to thank anyone who ever amazing advertising manager. She was in- Jon Martin and this is definitely thanks to the awe- showed up to a production weekend, even credible at pestering people over ads, and Kevin Joseph some staff I have. While I might tease if it was only for a couple hours. In partic- I could never have done this without her Krishna Iyer them and call them my minions, the truth ular, I would like to thank Mike Smart and tireless efforts. Michael Laanvere is that I couldn’t have done any of this Chris Letnick, who, despite being new to Thanks to Roy and Angelo. Your will- Michael New without them. the paper this term, have put an incredible ingness to pass on advice and suggestions Rebecca Cameron First, I would like to thank everyone amount of effort into helping with produc- from your experiences as EICs was inval- Roy Lee who wrote articles. In particular, I’d like tion weekends. uable. Spenser Good to thank Dushanth Seevaratnam for writ- Krishna Iyer has been has been a great Thanks to Mary Bland, for all the fi- Stuart Linley ing all the random topics that were shoved (although annoying) layout editor. Thanks nances work you do for The Iron Warrior, Trevor Jenkins at him, and Farzi Yusufali, Anjali Gopal, for coming in, and for doing proofreading and your patience with my many questions and Alex Hogeveen Rutter for frequently when we’ve shoved that at you too. and requests. Contributors writing articles on demand – especially Many, many thanks go to Kate and Hans. Finally, thanks to Kate for keeping me Angela Stewart when I ended up publishing them in the Between them, they have been my copy sane. This may not be an official IW posi- Brock Kopp next issue anyways. editors and circulation managers. They’ve tion, but it’s a vital one. Thanks also to David Birnbaum Thanks to Christy for taking minutes at done a great job ensuring that not only the Kate, Chris, Hans, and Roy for conspiring Derek Thompson the meetings. Also, thanks to Stuart Linley issues are grammatically correct, but also to ensure that I’ll pass 4A. I may not ap- Kamyar Ghavam for the crosswords, and Andrew McMahon that they’re distributed far and wide. preciate being mutinied against, but my Kyle Pohl for helping out with circulation. Even more thanks to Kate for being an marks (and my lab partners) do. Leah Allen Lisa Belbeck Marc Tan th Orientation Week Issue Deadline: Saturday, July 30 Michael Seliske Send your submissions to [email protected] Praven Arichandran Sean Walsh Tim Bandura

Off-Stream Editor-in-Chief Advertise With Us! Jon Martin Want to reach a wide, intelligent audience which includes students, faculty and staff at the University? The Iron Warrior is a forum for thought-provoking and informative articles published by the Engineering Society. Views expressed in The Iron Warrior are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Engineering Society. We are the official newpaper of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society The Iron Warrior encourages submissions from students, faculty representing the entire undergraduate engineering student body of over 6000 students. and members of the university community. Submissions should reflect the concerns and intellectual standards of the university in general. The author's name and phone number should be included. All submissions, unless otherwise stated, become the property of Our newspaper is distributed all across campus and is the perfect medium to The Iron Warrior, which reserves the right to refuse publication of advertise your event, employer information session, service, etc. material which it deems unsuitable. The Iron Warrior also reserves the right to edit grammar, spelling and text that do not meet university standards. Authors will be notified of any major changes that may be required. For more information, please visit http://iwarrior.uwaterloo.ca/advertising/ Mail should be addressed to The Iron Warrior, Engineering Society, or contact us at [email protected], 519-888-4567, Ext. 32693 E2 2349A, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1. Our phone number is (519) 888-4567 x32693. Our fax number is (519) 725- 4872. E-mail can be sent to [email protected] The Iron Warrior wednesday, July 20, 2011  Editorial | 3 Letter to the Editor The Outsiders Must Also Make an Effort to Get Involved

Angelo Alaimo to attend meetings in my academic terms my first interaction with my frosh leaders. new at a meeting or an event? Go talk to 4A Electrical and still do to this day. Although I was Remember “The Book” you received in them, be nice, and limit the inside joke's intimidated and felt like an outsider at first, your frosh kits? Well, go find it, open it around the person, or else it creates an Re: An Outsider’s Look into the as the academic terms went by, I became up – all the information about the society unwelcoming environment. Engineering Society more involved and my feeling of being an is in there. Don’t have that book anymore? Also, remember my first paragraph I can still remember my first Engineering outsider began to change. I was the Editor- http://engsoc.uwaterloo.ca/. All the where I practically stated that Society Society meeting back in 2A; drunk, in-Chief of The Iron Warrior in my 3A term information one seeks about the society is meetings are essentially 4th year drunken, heckling 4th years at the back of the room, last spring, and held my first directorship there as well – I dare you to read it; get inside joke blurting, finger giving messes? attendees blurting out inside jokes while this term under the Engineering Society informed. Well, things have changed, thankfully. others are speaking, and being given the as the Competitions Director. Contrary to The Executive and the Society do There is no drinking anymore, council finger the first time I ever spoke at the belief of my classmates and some people make sincere attempts to disseminate this follows Robert’s Rules of Order, and meeting. Doesn’t sound very inviting now who know me fairly well – I haven’t been information to its members. Remember people are much more respectful and does it? No, it definitely wasn’t for an heavily involved with the Society. that old simple adage – You can lead a productive. The finger thing still exists, easily intimidated 2nd year and because of As even more time went by, I began horse to water, but you cannot make it and it means you are too quiet and need it, I felt like an outsider. to understand more of what the Society drink? The same applies to this situation to speak up. To outsiders at their first In fact, my experiences at my first does and how the executive represents as well. People themselves need to make meeting, they of course don't know what it meeting somewhat mirror an article in The their members. In last issue’s letter from the effort to get involved, and read this means, and it's quite often I see "outsiders" Iron Warrior (Volume 27 Issue 10 - July the editor, the Editor author admitted she, information on their own as the Society horrified looks when people give them the 20, 2006) written by Peter Szabo entitled, and those around her do not really know can only do so much on their part to get finger. “The Story of an Engineering Society Rep: exactly what the executive really do but if the word out and it would be impossible In all, the society requires people to put Why I Love EngSoc.” For those of you who more people knew, they may find there is to reach out to all members, but alas the work in themselves to get informed don’t know this particular backstory, this more to the Engineering Society than what as mentioned, they do make a sincere and get involved. Here are some good article, and another published in the same meets the common eye. attempt. links to get you started - http://engsoc. issue got the newspaper pulled from the As somewhat of an outsider to the Some advice. To the "outsiders": The uwaterloo.ca/representation, http:// stands. A follow-up issue was published Engineering Society at a point in time, "insiders" that "outsiders" see within engsoc.uwaterloo.ca/about, http://engsoc. the following week giving those who how did I begin to understand about the society are just as intimidated by an uwaterloo.ca/services. pulled the newspaper a chance to respond. how the executive and society impacts "outsiders" presence at a society gathering. Thanks, My first experiences with the society me? I was surprised to find out the Be proactive and initiate a conversation Angelo Alaimo weren't the most pleasant, but I continued information had been right with me since yourself. To the "insiders": see someone 4A Electrical Engineering Letter to the Editor From Your Incoming A-Soc Executives

Leah, MIKE, Lisa, david, The Engineering Society is a group of fortunately due to the “vivid” principle in in EngSoc so that they may be more invit- angela, Derek student volunteers. Their mandate is to social psychology the “drinking” events ing to newcomers. Incoming A-Soc Executives support the undergraduate engineering are the only ones people can remember If there is a concern that you, or any- students in academic and social ventures. when thinking about EngSoc social events, one around you has about the Engineer- Re: An Outsider’s Look into the Engi- Trying to provide something which inter- despite only 5 of 15 typical events even ing Society, please feel free to contact any neering Society ests all 5900 diverse students is a major serving alcohol. It is easy to forget about of the Exec or drop by the EngSoc Office The Editorial written in the July 6th, 2011 challenge which the society strives to ac- Resume Critiques or the exam bank which (CPH1327) as we are always open for feed- edition of The Iron Warrior raised some complish on a daily basis. are utilized by hundreds of students each back. Even if you have had a bad experi- concerns about the Engineering Society The Engineering Society has a great deal term. ence in the past, turnover is quick and the and the image they portray to the general of useful services and events which benefit The new Executive have already devel- Society changes from year to year based engineering student population. The con- the Engineering Undergraduates at Water- oped some strategies in order to change on the people involved so give us a second cerns expressed in the article centre around loo, but many of those students see the So- the perception of EngSoc. These changes chance. Please know that we are aware the image portrayed by the Society and the ciety as a clique who drink and party all the include more extensive Class Rep training of the problems facing the society and are inclusiveness of the events which they run. time. This attitude towards the Society is a and support and more effort in separating actively working on improving this image. The recently elected Executive were definite problem that needs to be addressed. events run by other groups that are com- We feel that these things take time and if presented with a challenge on how they It stems from a combination of perception monly associated with the Engineering So- the last 10 years have shown us anything, planned to create a more inclusive EngSoc and psychological human factors, but also ciety like Pub Crawls and DUSTED. We times are changing. EngSoc will continue and encourage more people to participate. in the way the society is structured. have also discussed strategies on how to to increase their representation, inclusive- Outlined below are a few comments we EngSoc runs a number of social-based alleviate the anxiety associated with com- ness and services in the years to come. have in response to the challenge but feel events each term which range from small ing to a new event and meeting new peo- Incoming EngSoc 'A' Executive, that a letter to the editor cannot fully con- engineering competitions, all night variety ple. We hope to this is something we will Leah, Mike, Lisa, David, Angela, and vey our sentiments. evenings and “Of Term” pub nights. Un- also extend to the members more involved Derek

û Planet Earth’s Newest Country: South Sudan

were originally part of Sudan. The popu- ish rule in 1956. Due to Sudan’s attempt condition, South Sudan is still heavily Farzi lation of South Sudan consists of approxi- to establish an Islamic identity following dependent on agriculture. It is important Yusufali mately six million, of which the majority independence, the southern authority fig- to note that South Sudan is an oil-rich 2b Nanotechnology practice indigenous religious beliefs with ures in the area mutinied, beginning a civ- state and South Sudan and Sudan are, as a large minority practicing Christianity il war between the Sudanese government of now, splitting oil revenues in half be- (unlike the predominantly Muslim popu- and the Sudan People’s Liberation Move- tween them. As of July 14th, the world recognized lation in Sudan). The diversity within the ment (SPLM) and its own army forces. The country’s most significant success South Sudan as Africa’s newest country population is very high both linguistically Before autonomy following the 2005 in recent years to sustain life and prosperi- when the United Nations General As- and ethnically, though the largest of the Comprehensive Peace Agreement, at least ty in the nation was to develop an integrat- sembly unanimously voted to address ethnic groups are the Dinka, Nuer and 1.5 million people have lost their lives ed system for planning and budget prepa- this country as it’s 193rd member. On this Shilluk. while 4 million others were displaced to ration headed by strong leadership within day, many rejoiced the formal declaration The total area inside the South Sudanese neighbouring regions in the crossfire. the Ministry of Finance. Since then, the of independence from Sudan as the final borders is 619,745km2 with the major- The humanitarian situation in South Su- government has been able to better man- outcome of the peace deal drawn in 2005, ity comprised of grasslands, swamp and dan is dismal with a high mortality rate age the finances of various projects and which ended the longest-running civil war tropical rainforest along both sides of the of 112 per 1000 and a maternal mortality have increased the number of government in African history. At midnight on July 9th While Nile. The formal government sys- rate of 2054 per 100,000 live births. The staffers with crucial skills like basic IT. local time, South Sudan became an inde- tem in South Sudan is a “federal presiden- health care in South Sudan is essentially While South Sudan had finally gained pendent state after a referendum held in tial democratic republic” of which Salva three surgeons serving the entire nation independence from Sudanese rule, the January yielded a result of nearly 99% of Kiir Mayardit is the country’s first elected and, in some regions, one doctor for every next couple of years will indicate the fu- voters opting for independence from the president. The economic condition of this 500,000 people. The prevalent livelihood ture progress of this infant country and, rest of Sudan. country is fragile at best due to the non- of South Sudan’s citizens are mainly sub- ultimately, the survival of this nation. This nation’s official name is “The Re- existent infrastructure, high mortality and sistence agriculture. The region interna- With some strong leadership and a firm public of South Sudan” and the capital and illiteracy rates and adverse poverty as a tionally exports timber, petroleum, sil- rule, it may yet be possible for this region largest city is Juba. South Sudan is formed result of the long-running civil wars fol- ver, gold, copper and other such natural and its people to rise above the struggles from ten of the southern-most states that lowing Sudan’s independence from Brit- resources; however, given the country’s that have plagued it for so long. The Iron Warrior 4 | News û wednesday, July 20, 2011 Atlantis Marks NASA's Final Space Shuttle Launch

per launch. The high cost and experimental equipment on this flight were the Robotic 4 was brought up to measure the effects of Jacob nature of the space shuttle progam were im- Refueling Mission and TriDAR. radiation on computer memory and run tests Terry portant factors that prompted NASA to look The Robotic Refueling Mission (RRM) on the accelerometer, gyroscope and cam- 1T Nanotechnology for successors and bring an end to the pro- was a mission designed to demonstrate how eras in space. The Nexus S phones were gram. shuttles or spacecraft could, in the future, be brought for use in SPHERES, which are This space mission is notable not only refueled completely through robotic means. small eight-inch satellites used to test exper- For the last time, a space shuttle, the At- as the final space shuttle flight, but as the NASA is hoping they can transition this iments in small environments. The phones lantis, launched from Cape Canaveral early first mission since 1983 to fly with only technology from research to commercial give the SPHERES cameras, sound record- this month, marking the end of 30 years of four people. This is because no space shut- use. ing and increased processing power. the Space Shuttle program. The final space tles were available for standby in case of an TriDAR is a sensor package designed for After Atlantis’ returns, NASA is not ex- mission, STS-135, launched successfully on emergency rescue mission. Instead, if the use as a rendezvous and docking sensor, and pected to commission a new spaceship until July 8th at 11:29 am and connected with the shuttle was damaged, the astronauts would is funded partially by the Canadian Space 2016 at the very earliest, instead they are International Space Station on July 10th. move into the International Space Station Agency. It’s unique in the sense that it uses opting to make deals with the private sector The space shuttle was originally de- and return individually though Soyuz cap- a laser-based 3D sensor and thermal imager and they are purchasing Soyuz spacecraft signed to be inexpensive and safe, with the sules over the course of a year. to measure distance, instead of reference from Russia in the interim period. Now that ability to be relaunched 64 times per year at For mission STS-135, Atlantis delivered markers on the other spaceship. the space shuttle program is complete, we a cost of $54 million per launch. In practice, the usual modules that the other shuttles It is also interesting to note that the shut- will have to wait to see what new discov- the shuttle was launched less than five times brought up, which are described in previous tle brought up an iPhone 4 and two Nexus S eries can be made with whatever spacecraft per year and cost approximately $1.5 billion articles of The Iron Warrior. Some unique phones for use in experiments. The iPhone replaces space shuttles. Engineering Students Reach Out to the Community

many seniors having a good time and enjoy- image perceived by the Wa- ing their ice cream, cupcakes and the vari- terloo community. As a com- Roy Lee 2B Nanotechnology ous vendors. The barbequed sausages were bined effort from the outreach a great success, with the proceeds adding director and the charities di- to the fundraising effort for the Alzheimer rector of the Engineering So- Society’s Walk for Memories, bringing the ciety, the event is the start of a Ever heard of celebrating Christmas in total fundraising to over seven hundred dol- new effort to get our name out July? The Village of Winston Park, a care lars. there as caring students. facility for seniors, had a small event for Our engineering students ended up sur- Next time you find yourself their residents on July 8th, 2011. A small prising the staff at the Village of Winston with a bit of extra free time, group of University of Waterloo under- Park for being engineering students. No, we consider sharing it with others graduate engineers volunteered their time are not in a program that requires a certain in the community! It doesn’t early that Saturday morning by helping set number of volunteer hours or even pursu- take that long to get involved: Ben Siddique up the decorations, running the event stands ing a degree related to health services. We just get a group of friends to- Engineers volunteer at BBQ and serving food. The celebrations involved are merely students interested in getting in- gether or initiate a new directorship through izing events can even be amazing resume cheering Christmas music, decorations in volved in our community. the Engineering Society. The list of ben- fillers. Engineering Students don't just work red and green, and even Santa Claus showed For the students that volunteered, the efits is long, not just for those you choose hard and party hard, we're also there at the up to set the mood. event was an opportunity to give back to the to help, but also for you. The more you get crack of dawn the next day to change the Overall, the event was successful, with community and improve the engineering involved, the more people you meet. Organ- world for society. Ocean Species Nortel Patents Auction Out of Sight, Out of Mind, Out of Time for $4.5 Billion sign that its pigment-rich resident micro- alison organisms have left or died. This means a with their own patents as opposed to buying Lee lack of food source for larger organisms, Andrew them from bankrupt companies. Despite the 2B Nanotechnology and the effects travel up the food chain. mcmahon efforts of its competitors to slow down the The second culprit, ocean acidification, 1B environmental growth of the project, Google claims to acti-

is largely because of rising CO2 levels in vate 550,000 Android devices daily and has Most of us are aware of the environmen- the air, which then dissolve in the water to about 250,000 apps on the Android market. tal threats facing polar bears, tigers, pan- form carbonic acid — also contributing to During the internet boom, Nortel was The seemingly unstoppable force of das, and other large land animals, but we coral bleaching. Suggestions to mitigate the largest company in Canada, employing Google is actually somewhat behind in the tend to forget about the species we cannot ocean acidification include better control 95,000 people worldwide, with a stock value intellectual property department. Google see as easily. The International Programme over greenhouse gas emissions and im- that accounted for one third of the Toronto has only 600 patents to its name in the US, on the State of the Ocean held a conference proved natural carbon sinks like living Stock exchange. After filing for bankruptcy which is nowhere near the almost 4,000 this past April and came to the conclusion plants around ocean areas. Unfortunately, on January 14, 2009, it has been trying to owned by Apple and 17,000 in Microsoft’s that ocean species are becoming extinct at like the rate of ocean warming, the rate of sell off all assets, generating upwards of $7.6 name. This lack of patents has left Google a very concerning rate. This is not the result acidification is increasing as well. billion. Some of its most valuable assets are susceptible to legal actions against them as of any particular recent human action, but The final major factor of ocean species its patents and pending patents which cover they try to push their open-source Android rather due to multiple, slow-acting (largely extinction is chemical water pollutants technologies including mobile communica- software. The importance of this bidding human-related) factors that have been in that deplete the oxygen concentration in tions, social media and internet search. war became apparent when Google upped action for decades. the water. This causes marine dead zones A group named Rockstar Bidco, which in- its bid to 4 billion after 18 rounds of bidding. Not to state the obvious, but an ecosys- where aquatic organisms no longer have cludes Apple, Nortel, RIM, Sony, EMC, and Nortel’s patents, which include Long Term tem’s diversity is essential for it to adapt enough oxygen needed to survive. Coast- Ericsson, bought Nortel’s 6,000 patents for Evolution Wireless technology, could have to a changing environment. Biodiversity al regulation of chemical and other waste $4.5 billion on June 30th. The sale resulted shielded Google from some of the lawsuits ensures that if one variant of a species is dumping varies nation to nation, but they in a huge blow to Google and its Android they currently face. wiped out, then similar organisms will rise are generally poorly-enforced. Waters that mobile operating system. Google made the Google has plenty of money and an abun- to serve the same function in the ecosys- are busy shipping routes especially suffer initial bid for the patents at $900 million, but dance of brainpower, but it has to come up tem, resulting in minimal disruption of the from chemical contamination. The oceans the previously mentioned group made an of- with a way to level the field in terms of wire- many interconnected living cycles. Basi- are massive bodies of water, but dilution fer five times that amount in later bidding less technologies. Presently, they are at risk cally, if ocean species are quickly dying can only go so far; the oceans are complex rounds. of being backed into a corner by the legal out, the consequences to us may not be with thermal layering and concentration The group of tech giants is being ac- aspect of the industry. Lawyers seeking to immediately apparent, but they would be gradients, so chemical contamination has cused of unfairly excluding Google. Google exploit patent law, which is not yet geared severe. more localized and severe long-term ef- would undoubtedly use the patents to protect to the rapidly-changing tech sector, could The first of three main culprits of oceanic fects than one might expect. its open-source Android mobile platform. potentially do some real damage by slowing extinction is warming. What’s especially The point of all of this is not to perpetrate However, large companies like Microsoft, the growth of the tech-giant. difficult about this is that, as polar ice con- more doomsday preaching, but to remind Apple and RIM do not want this to happen. The relevance of these patents from tinues to melt, the rate of water warming people that an “out of sight, out of mind” Apple is presently suing HTC, Samsung and Nortel, a company that has been bankrupt also increases and is very difficult to re- mentality to environmental protection will Motorola over technology in their Android for some time, shows how ahead of its time verse (remember that water has a high spe- come back to bite us. As our ocean (and phones, and Microsoft is suing Motorola some of the research at Nortel was. One can- cific heat capacity). Water warming is dev- land) ecosystems become less resilient to over its Android line. not help but wonder how influential this Ca- astating to cold-water species such as many change, the gravity of this issue should Google CEO Larry Page denies suspi- nadian telecommunications company would corals, which can no longer be hosts to a concern anyone who relies on natural re- cions that Android is under attack from the be today had John Roth not drove it into the microclimate of tiny organisms. Previously sources being abundant and available. Yes, increasing pressure of IP litigation. He stat- ground in ’00-’01 during the bursting of the colourful coral reefs are turning white, a that includes you. ed that the company would rather come up internet bubble. Real Estate Centre Inc. Brokerage 720 Westmount Rd. E Kitchener 519-741-0950 Bringing Buyers laurie Keyes sales representative & Sellers Together “The KEYES to your new home” [email protected] www.housekeyes.ca 519.748.7751

THINGS YOU DON’T * Sterile, shmerile. The SAFE HELPER RUNNER’S EUPHORIA WON’T TO HEAR IN floor's clean enough. While taking a routine A friend of mine had SURGERY * What do you mean he vandalism report at an resisted efforts to get him * Wait a minute, if that's his elementary school, I was to run with our jogging wasn't in forThe a sexIron Warrior change?! spleen, then what's this? wednesday, July 20, 2011 interrupted by a little girl group until his doctor û News told | 5 * Anyone see whereDean I left of Engineeringabout six years old. Cardboardhim he Boat had to Racing exercise. * Hand me that...uh...that my scalpel? Looking up and down at Shortlyusing thereafter, complex volume integrals he and more uh...thingie. Nomination Committee Admiral than one encounter with a violating team re- Kyle Pohl sulted in a dance-off. The details of the race * Oh my, she’s awake!Trevor jenkins commentsmy uniform, in writing to any of the she follow asked,- Enginuity Dirreluctantlyector are not important. joined What was us important for was our * Oops! Hey, has anyone 3N management ing three people: how people took time out of their schedule "Are- Trevor Jenkins, you undergraduate a cop?" repre- 5:30amto come jogs do an onevent no Mondays, one has seen in En- HEADS OR TAILSAs you may or may not know, Dean sentative at [email protected]; Ahoy ladies. Those up in the Mobius strip gineering in decades. Two hundred people ever survived 500ml of this Adel Sedra is quickly approaching his - Erin Windibank, the Associate Uni- knew and attended the recent event to be the had the confidence in this fledgling event to maximum term limit as dean here at Wa- versity Secretary at erin.windibank@ latest to shake the very foundationsWednesdays of our come out and take and a look. Fridays. Now that’s heart- As a nurse atterloo the Engineering. local As a result, the Uni- uwaterloo.ca"Yes,"; I answered andfine academic establishment. To those still ening. stuff before? versity has convened a Nomination Com- - Gerri Woodford, executive search out to lunch for chicken sandwiches and Ignoring the fact that the scoring system hospital, I wasmittee caring to help select for his successor. a The consultantcontinued supporting w the riting committee theorange-mocha-frappuccinos, I’mAfter talking awas month flawed, the judges of running, biased, the course committee is composed primarily of fac- from Janet Wright & Associates Inc, at about the world famous Enginuity Card- dull and the trophy quaint, this event was * Could you stop that thing ulty from both within and outside of Engi- [email protected]. board Boat Race that happened on July the freaking awesome. People had fun. People young patientneering, whose as well as illnesstwo staff and two stu- report.All comments are due no later than 7th. Not only did 68 of your finewe peers decided risk were smiling. that The lifeguards my did friend not look from beating? It's throwing dent representatives (one undergrad, one July 31st, 2011 and will be held in confi- life and pocket change to compete in this like they were about to burst a blood vessel had not yet beengrad). As diagnosed. the undergraduate representa- dence within the committee. event, over a hundred decided thatmight their life besomewhere hooked, in the temple region. The spec- tive, my job is to ensure that student’s "MySome questions mother to think about said include: ifcould I ever include a bit more of people yelling tators were mildly amused and that’s better my concentration off. concerns, opinions, input, feedback and 1. What are the issues, challenges and at them through megaphones, spewing lewd than not amused. What can we take from She'd been seenthoughts by are heard many and taken into consid- opportunities facing the Faculty of Engi- lines and sick-nasty beats. especiallythis? I’ll tell when you: he said, eration throughout the search and election neering?needed help I shouldPeople ask ask me often, “What is up with Life never gives you what you want. * What's this doing here? specialists thatprocess. day, I am responsible when for making sure 2. What are your aspirations for the this?” After I good-naturedly slap"I've them up- discSome overed people want fame, what some want for- that students’ voices are heard. facultythe in the next five years? side the head, I proceed to tell them how I tune. Some want world peace, some want A memo was sent out to all members of 3. What advice do you have for the came up with this whole boat racing she- world domination. I wanted a cardboard the neurologistthe Engineering came community to on June 29th search committee as to the background, nanigan to looks of increasingrunner's dread. One boat euphoriarace. With this in mind, is." I squeezed a * I hate it when they're asking for input from students, staff, fac- credentials,police. qualifications Is that and leadership right?" day, my dad sat me on his lap. He said to hundred bucks out of the Society and went examine her.ulty, and anyone else who was interested style that should be sought in the next me, “Son, you can’t race a dead cow.” Tak- to town with this event. I went so hard, I im- missing stuff in here. in giving their input to the committee. Dean? ing this as a sign, I began preparingWhen for what wepregnated questioned that town with the promise this, of not Since this new dean will ultimately have "Yes,4. Do you that's have any suggestions right," as Ione told day will become a grand boat race. just boat races, but a flood of other wacky As he tested thebig shoes reflexes to fill following in Dean Sedra’s to individuals to whom the committee Seeing how people around mehe have explained, long and wonderful events. I realized Fettuccini battlebots, term of tremendous growth, it is critical shouldher. speak to about this opportunity? since perished from overexposure to my cardboard boat balloon battles, these are the * Somebody call the janitor her feet, she asked,for students to give their input and feed- Feel free to contact me with any fur- brilliance, I take pride in my rich upbring- kind of things I want out of my Engineer- back as it will be very important in shap- ther questions, comments or feedback you ing and continue fantasizing about"Runner's hilarious ing undergrad euphoria degree. And since is I know what no -- we're going to need a ing and directing the search. may have throughout the process. Good contraptions made of common household one else shares my specific brand of spastic "What kind ofI strongly doctor encourage are you to send your luck"Well, with exams! then," she saidbuilding as supplies. behaviour, I will make it happen. Considering the fact that lastI paragraph experience But I digress; at this 5:30amentire article is just onme mop. you?? she extended her footmakes me sound like some kind of stoned patting myself on the back. What I really From Prohibition to Huge vagrant with a Napoleon complex,Tuesdays, let’s look want to convey Thursdays, is just how easy it really is at how this race went. Fifteen teams raced to make stuff happen. I’m also calling out to * I sure wish I had my "I'm a brain doctor,? he toward me, "wouldeach you other in three heats over threeSaturdays lengths all you folks and who complain Sundays." about how bor- Flashy Parades of the pool. For the most part, they were al- ing campus is, and then do exactly nothing replied. please tie my shoe?"lowed only duct tape and cardboard to do to fix it. You’re boring. Not me. I run boat glasses. Kamyar Ghavam son, member of city council, Rick Mercer, this. The use of said duct tape was restricted races. ECE grad student comedian, and many other Canadian of- "The future is something "Well, you're at the wrong ficials and celebrities marched in the pa- * Well folks, this will be an It was not long ago that a gay pride rade. Mayor Rob Ford did not attend the which everyone reaches at end,? she informedparade would him. have been unthinkable. eventYO and spent DE the LAAA...... time with his family On November 2nd, 1969, Craig Rodwell for the Canada Day long weekend. experiment for us all. (1940-1993), an American gay rights ac- Contradiction with Laws? the rate of 60 minutes an tivist, held the first known gay pride pa- DoThe parade you is a good know opportunity how to rep- to make "A sense of humourrade in New York is City. a To this day, the resent one of the minorities in the popu- hour, whatever he does, * Oh no! I just lost my LGBTQQ community still faces many dif- lation.a Swiss For many people roll? in the LGBTQQ major defenceficulties, against and their activities are prohibited community, the parade is a way in which in some countries. For example, Turkey people can fight for their rights. However, whoever he is. " wristwatch. was the first Muslim country in which a therePush is one questionablehim down aspect for the me. Alps. minor troubles."gay pride march has been held. The first Why should this event contain such ex- C. S. Lewis march was in 2003 and took place in Is- plicit nudity in the heart of Toronto when Mignon McLaughlintanbul with 30 people. By 2011, the gay there are many children participating or at- pride march increased to over 10,000 par- tending the parade? Cardboard Boats Racing to the Finish Michael Seliske ticipants. Toronto: the Safe Haven In the past few decades, Toronto has been a leader on promoting LGBTQQ tolerance in North America. Its activists scored a major victory in 2003 when same- Travel Vaccines sex marriage became legal in Ontario, making it the first jurisdiction in North America to do so. Toronto’s Pride Week & Advice is now a yearly, ten-day-long event at the end of June. It is one of the largest LG- BTQQ festivals in the world. The centre of the event is at the Church and Wellesley by Appointment Village, along Yonge, Gerrard and Bloor Streets. As one of the world’s longest-run- ning organized Pride celebrations, 1.3 mil- lion people attended Toronto’s Pride Week Health Canada Certified for Yellow Fever in 2009, making it a prime location for the 4th world pride parade in 2014. Toronto’s Pride Week evolved out of protests in 1981 and celebrated its 25th an- niversary in 2005. In the 2005 parade, Bill Blair, the Toronto Police Chief, became 519.570.4208 the first police chief in Toronto to take part in the parade. He marched alongside politicians of all parties, including Mayor www.kwtravelclinic.comwww.kwtravelclinic.ca David Miller. The 2011 Toronto Pride Pa- rade brought out more than one million attendants. David Miller, former mayor of Toronto, Brian Burke, General Manager of Physicians Certified in Travel Medicine the Toronto Maple Leafs, Michael Thomp- The Iron Warrior 6 | Engineering Society Reports wednesday, July 20, 2011 One Last Memo from This President’s Desk

academic advisor, or your EngSoc Presi- And with my closing paragraphs, I want gest thanks go to Mary Bland, our business Tim dents. All of these people represent you on to give a number of shout-outs and thanks. manager. Without her, our finances would Bandura Outgoing the committee and will present your case. I want to thank Mike Seliske for being never be done and the CnD would be out president PLEASE come talk to us (or Engineering Speaker this term. He’s done a great job of stock on a daily basis. Without her, I’d Counselling) if you feel this applies to you. keeping Robert’s Rules and our meetings never have someone with years of expe- Last Tuesday, I attended the final COPs going and on-track. Also, the food was in- rience in EngSoc to bounce ideas off of. Wow, it’s finally over. 15 months and it’s (Committee of Presidents) meeting for the credible this term! Another shout out to PO- Mary Bland, you are irreplaceable and we my final report (finally). Let’s start with the term. We dealt with concerns on receiving ETS Managers Amanda LeDuc, Ben Selby, love you. past and upcoming business. student fees and hammering out the ba- Cameron Winterink, and Derek Thomp- Congratulations to Leah Allen, the new With a majority of campus on break, there sis for a new society agreement. With my son. Thanks so much for keeping POETS Engineering Society A President! I’ve have not been many meetings. On July 4th term ending, it is up to Alessia and Leah to open and the shows showing. And the 1B worked with Leah over my term, and I have and 5th, I attended the Educations & Pro- complete the society agreement before next VIP day was a terrific idea! Thank you to absolute confidence in her ability to lead motions Committee hearings. If there are spring. This agreement will set the relation- my fellow Exec. It’s been a long road and EngSoc through the next 16 months. Leah extenuating circumstances affecting a stu- ship between FedS and each society, and we’ve pulled through. Thanks to Robin Jar- has the passion and empathy to deal with dent’s performance, they can file a petition. define the interactions between each body. din and Meg Bauman. Your help with the the times ahead. Good luck in your term. Results of successful petitions can include It will cover issues such as student fees and Dean’s Office is invaluable and it’s great to Good luck to all of you in your exams changing a failed term to one that can be re- insurance coverage for events. have contacts through you. Finally, my big- and work terms! peated with no penalty. Why is that signifi- Our final Council meeting is Wednesday, cant? Well, from the Undergraduate Calen- July 20th. Come out to see the new Exec dar, “the term No Penalty may be appended sworn in and to take part in the Spring 2011 New President… WHA? to the decision to repeat a term. In this case, family photo. It’s a potluck, so bring in a the requirement to stay out for two terms dish! The meeting starts at 5:30 pm in PO- Leah potluck BTW), so you should attend! before repeating the term is waived and the ETS, and directors are asked to show up at With that being said, DIRECTOR- nd Allen term is not counted as a repeat term with 5:00 pm. EOT is on Friday, July 22 from Incoming SHIP APPLICATIONS ARE NOW regard to the number of times a term can 8:00 pm until 10:00 pm. The theme is “Too president OPEN! What is a directorship you ask?! be repeated or in the calculation of the total Soon.” Hope to see you all as we reveal the Well my fine friend... it’s a volunteer po- number of terms of full-time study in the winners of P**5, the premier of the TSN sition to run a service or an event within program.” If you have any questions, you video, and to celebrate the end of term and Hey Engineers! the Engineering Society! It’s a great way can ask the Engineering Counsellors, your relax before finals. I hope you are all doing swell. First of to get involved in the Engineering Society, all, let me tell you that I am so excited for especially if you have never held a posi- the next 16 months! After having a few tion before! What positions are avail- My Last External Report... meetings with the new executives, I know able and how can you apply?! Head to that we will be a fantastic team and we the Engineering Society website (engsoc. in this issue and congratulations to them have a lot in store for you! uwaterloo.ca), and on the front page, there Leah from the Engineering Society. The event So what have I been doing since I got is an article about directorship applications Allen Outgoing ran with no hiccups and that was a result elected?! So far, I have been transitioning with links to the directorships page and to VP-External of all the work Angelo Alaimo (WEC Di- with the current President, Tim Bandura, to the application form. When are they due?! rector) put into the event. I would also like learn and understand every single task of They are due by August 4th at MIDNIGHT, to thank all the volunteers who helped out the President. The new Exec have selected so hurry up and apply! Hey Everyone, with the event and the Ridgid TOOL for Commissioners and they will be ratified at That’s all for now. I can’t wait to see This report is going to be bittersweet making a special appearance! the EngSoc meeting TONIGHT (which is a your lovely faces again in the Winter! as I have many updates for you, but they I would like to commend the Student Life are coming to you in my last report. Since Directors, Ashley Goddard, Andrea Wong the events are wrapping up, I have a lot of and Linz Buckingham for their hard work New External Initiatives thanks to say to people. on Student Life 101. They planned the en- Canada Day was run a few weeks ago gineering portion of this newly vamped portfolio. Some of the new directorships we Michael Seliske and the event was a hit with the families of event, and even though they ran into some have started are: PEO Engineering Com- Lisa belbeck the K-W region. The TOOL made an ap- road blocks, they kept trucking in efforts Incoming petition, Habitat for Humanity, and CFES pearance and had everyone posing in front to properly promote EngSoc and student VP-Externals complementary education courses. They of it and some engineering alumni touching teams to all the incoming first years. are all new directorships that will give YOU it! Thank you so much to Eric Evenchick, Lastly, I would like to point out that the the chance to run new events. These require Adriana Cameron and Kristine Campbell Women in Engineering Day that was run We would first like to say thank you to working with the community, other schools for running the event. yesterday was all the work of the WiE Di- all the undergraduate engineering students and international partners. Please check Float day was a great success! All sup- rectors. This is the first time we have run for putting your faith in us as your next VP- the EngSoc website for more information plies were donated by EngSoc and it raised an event like this, and we would appreciate External. Mike will be taking the position about directorships. Mike and Lisa are al- $450.00 in donations that will go to Free your comments on how it can be improved for the initial eight months, and Lisa will be ready meeting with various groups within the Children!! Big thanks to Lisa Belbeck if we decide to run it in the future! taking over in the final eight months, but we the faculty in order to efficiently work with for spearheading the event, and thank you I would finally like to thank ALL of plan on working together during the entire them in the future and are already discuss- to all the volunteers for running it. my directors this term as they have all term to serve the students better. We have ing various outreach initiatives. If the first Charity events have been flawless this done an amazing job. already had a busy start, and we are work- few weeks of this position are indicators of term!!! From pancake breakfasts, to bottle On a side note, directorship applications ing to get some of the initiatives mentioned how the next sixteen months are going to drives, to Charity Grillfest…. they were all are now open for the Winter 2012 term. in our campaign off the ground. Some of go, then we are very VERY excited to work smashing. Thank you to the Charity Direc- Directorships are a great way to get in- these initiatives require YOUR help, so we with the rest of the Exec team in running tors (you know who you are), it was such a volved in EngSoc, especially if you have encourage you to apply for directorships, and improving one of the biggest and best pleasure working with you this term. never held a position before. Please see the which can be found under the VP-External Engineering Societies in the country. Waterloo Engineering Competition was website for more details (engsoc.ca). held two weekends ago and the event chal- As always, if you have questions or com- lenged minds of all years and disciplines. ments, please do not hesitate to contact me. Preparing for a Busy Term The winners of each category are featured <3 Leah Soc and the school. 3) Working with the di- David rectors and commissioners to begin devel- Birnbaum HELLLOOOOO ENGSOC!!! Incoming oping a budget before the term starts, so it Vp-Finance is accurate and concise as soon as possible. Administration and VP-Finance a "won- Once we are all back in January, I will con- Marc derful" talk, so I can pay people again, tinue to improve Novelties, making it more Tan Outgoing like Mary! Anyways, thanks everyone for Hi, I’m David Birnbaum and I am go- visible with frequent sales and promotions. Vp-Finance the last 16 months, and I’d like to wish ing to be your VP-Finance for the next 16 I plan to work closely with the directors and David Birnbaum good luck on his next months. I am very excited to be represent- commissioners throughout the semester to 16 months since he’s going to need it. I ing you in the Engineering Society, and I keep a tight budget, enabling all events to The Engineering Capital Improvements also want to say good luck to all the new look forward to getting to know many of run smoothly. I expect to open both capital Fund (ECIF) committee met on Wednes- incoming Exec and to have a fun ride! you. I have already begun working on sev- fund and sponsorship applications earlier day, July 13th and we are presenting our I’m not applying for any directorships, so eral ideas, and will continue to do so during in the term, so that all teams and groups allocations at tonight’s EngSoc meeting, too bad, you won’t get to see my beauti- my upcoming off-stream term. These items will have more time to hand in a succinct so come out tonight to find out what is ful face organizing stuff anymore. Also, include the following: 1) Researching new proposal, and hopefully receive their fund- being allocated. Also, council must ratify thanks to my directors, you did what I items to put into Novelties; I will not only ing sooner. Don’t forget that directorship our proposal, so definitely be there! couldn’t! be continuing to look for new t-shirt de- applications are now open, so apply on the Coverall Day was a great success; we FINALLY GET YOUR RECIEPTS signs, but also completely new items to put EngSoc website if you’re interested. I am sold 15 coveralls, which is amazing! I IN BEFORE EOT, OR ELSE!!!!!!! (I in everyone’s favourite store. 2) Working thrilled that I will get the chance to work also finally got our society allotment af- won’t give you money back). with the Capital Fund Committee to bring with you all, and I anticipate great times ter walking to FedS and giving their VP- GOOOOODBYYYYYYEE ENGSOC! you all the improvements you want to Eng- over the next 4 terms. The Iron Warrior wednesday, July 20, 2011 Engineering Society Reports | 7 Debt Load Survey Results and Letter to the Dean

Dean expressed interest in bringing this let- our income being allocated to making lasting Well that’s pretty much it for my time as Eric ter to university administration and discuss- impacts for engineering students, we should VP-Education. Other than a few small things Cousineau Outgoing ing the issue of engineering students pay- begin serving a wider range of people. The here and there, my job is largely done. Thank vp-Education ing more for the same courses as students new Exec structure should help move the you everyone for giving me this opportunity from other faculties (when taking a course busy-work down the hierarchy and leave the to serve you. I learned a ton and certainly part-time). By the time you are reading this, executives more time to pursue initiatives. It grew as a person. I feel that my communica- Well here goes my last Exec report. My the letter will hopefully be on its way to the is these initiatives that move the Society for- tion skills are much better now because of it, term as VP-Education ends August 31st, and Dean, or soon to be. ward. I guess you can summarize my opin- and I am certainly more confident in giving Derek Thompson will be taking the reins af- I wanted to include a little bit of general ion by saying that EngSoc should be doing presentations. ter then! Congratulations Derek, and best of opinion on the Engineering Society in light more than it currently is to serve its wider Anyways, thanks for reading, I now pass luck with your next 16 months as VP-Educa- of all the recent debate. My opinion is that membership, but positive changes are under- you off to Derek Thompson who will be in- tion (don’t worry, I’ll help you get started)! the Society exists to serve and represent its way that will help take us there. forming you of such matters in the future. As my term is wrapping up, there isn’t too members. We currently do this in three ways: much to report on since all the committees events, services, and representation. It is have adjourned for the summer. my opinion that EngSoc spends too much of And So It Comes to an End Course critiques are just about wrapped its time hyping up its events, and not enough up now, and we’re having our reading party time hyping up its services and representa- Boat Race, our termly EngPlay, Beach Day Sean tomorrow. The reading party is where vol- tion. I always hear people say that they don’t at Grand Bend, the Second Coffee House, Walsh unteers sift through all of the submitted cri- use any of EngSoc’s services, or attend any Outgoing Semi-Formal and the Engineering Golf tiques and ensure that any inappropriate or events. I normally respond to this by asking Vp-Internal Tournament! All were incredible successes spoiled (written in pen) ones are removed. them if they use the CnD (everyone does, it’s and I hope you were a part of them! Thank Come to CPH 3607 after 4:30 pm on July so cheap), and if they are aware of how we you to those Directors for putting their 21st to help out! represent them (they usually aren’t). Check Yes, I’m afraid so. This is my last ex- time and effort into making these events Debt load surveys finished up on July th6 , out this page for more info about how we ecutive report for The Iron Warrior. Don’t happen. and the results are published on page eight. represent students: engsoc.uwaterloo.ca/ be too sad… just remember all the good Before I go, I would also like to mention We had an amazing 45% response rate, and representation. While I recognize that run- times! Like when I wrote an article to the a great thanks to all of the directors who this survey included increased limits on debt ning events is important for EngSoc because tune of “So This Is Christmas...” Don’t be- I have had the pleasure of working with. load. A few highlights: Average work term they give attendees a social outlet and direc- lieve me? Go look for it in the IW archives! You all did an amazing job; it was a pleas- salary is $678/wk, 9% of students expect tors leadership experience, I think that more Also take solace in the fact that following ure to work with you. I wish Leah and all have more than $40k in debt by time they effort should be put into improving our other me will be your new VP-Operations, An- of the new executives good luck in their graduate, and 25% of students already have two facets. This is because it is our services gela Stewart! upcoming 16 months! I’m sure we can ex- over $20k of debt. and representation that affect more students. Before I ride off into the sunset, I leave pect great things to come from this group There should be a draft of a letter to the A few things that come to mind that present you with a recap of the past 2 weeks! They of dedicated people! Dean regarding differential course fees opportunity for EngSoc to do this are the were filled with the first ever Cardboard See you on the other side! that has been sent through our mailing list new Capital Improvements Fund, and the for feedback. As I said in earlier issues, the new Exec structure. With a certain portion of Internal to Operations

Speaking of directorships, do you want Education for You Angela that elusive "proven leadership experi- Stewart taken place, directorship applications are ence" employers always seem to be ask- Derek Incoming being read, and my first exec report is be- ing for? Do you have an idea for an event thompson Vp-Operations Incoming ing published (that would be this one)! or service you think will improve life for Vp-Education During my term, I plan on keeping a Waterloo Engineering students? Do you blog and Twitter feed which will be used Hello bright shiny people! want a budget and a league of dedicated to outline the current issues being covered I’m Angela Stewart and I’ll be your volunteers to help you pull this off? If you Greetings engineering students! With fi- at the meetings I attend. This should al- VP-Operations under a trial run for the said yes to any of these, apply to be a di- nals looming in the not too distant future, I low students who wish to keep up on any new executive structure. All your favour- rector for the Engineering Society. Online don't plan on taking too much of your time changes to their education to do so easily. ite EngSoc events/directorships that were applications are available on the EngSoc at this point. I would like to introduce my- This should also greatly decrease the size previously under the VP-Internal portfolio website and will close August 4th. self as your next VP-Education for the En- of any reports I make since I can refer to will continue and have now moved over to Take a break between studying and gineering Society. Over the course of these these easily attainable documents. Sum- the VP-Finance and the Student Life Com- check out the Engsoc website (www.eng- next 16 months I plan to act as your voice mary for the win! missioner. Where VP-Internal was more of soc.uwaterloo.ca, under the Directors tab) for any academic issues that may arise. Should you have any questions, con- an event management position, the VP-Op- to check out the different directorship posi- That being said, I am excited at what the cerns, comments, or rudimentary designs erations’ role is defined as one of represen- tions. Have an idea for an event or service future may bring for our school and fac- for an underwater flying space capsule, tation and management of the operations that’s not listed here? Apply to make up a ulty. you can contact me at thompson.dbp@ of the Society. This includes managing all new directorship! Directorship positions There has already been a flurry of activ- gmail.com. I am excited to work with you official communications and advertising look great on a resume, helps you develop ity from the incoming executive, myself and the rest of the new exec team. Here's to from your student society, developing and leadership and management skills, and are included. Commissioner interviews have a great 16 months! improving student events and services, and a ton of fun. working as a representative of the Society The next 16 months are going to be quite to various groups around campus, similar the adventure and I’m very happy to get to Winding Down WEEF to FedS. I’ll also be supporting my brilliant represent you and work with an amazing commissioners and directors. team of volunteers. meeting logistics as well as for contribut- praveen ing to the meaningful discussions that en- arichandran Outgoing sured the effective and efficient allocation Changes for WEEF WEEF DIRECTOR of the available funding. We will be holding our Spring Board now to start my transition and it's going Brock of Directors meeting on Thursday, July well so far. I will be working on updat- st kopp WEEF has had a fantastic Spring term. 21 . At this meeting, we will be finalizing Incoming ing the WEEF website over the next few As we wind down for the term and move Spring 2011 allocations and also ratifying WEEF DIRECTOR months to make it more dynamic and focus into finals, I'd like to thank you all for your Brock Kopp as the new WEEF Director. more on what WEEF is doing for YOU. I support and hard work! WEEF is run for Once the funding approval process is com- will also make sure the Town Hall meet- the students, by the students, and the phe- pleted at this meeting, Spring 2011 funding Hi Everybody! ing will be ready to go early next term for nomenal impact that we have been able to will be available to groups who received it. While I won't be directing much until you to come out to with any questions or have as an endowment foundation would We encourage you to make your purchases January 2012, I just wanted to take this complaints about WEEF. In the mean time, not be possible without you. You are amaz- as soon as possible in order to ensure that chance to say hey and give you a quick if you have any questions or comments, let ing! the WEEF effect is felt by students imme- run-down on what's happening in my life. us know at weef.uwaterloo.ca. This term we had about $190 000 in re- diately. As you may or may not know, I must be Finally, I want to thank Praveen for all quested funding and we were able to allo- This will be my last WEEF report, so I ratified by the WEEF Board of Directors the work he has done for WEEF over the cate $60 000 towards the improvement of would like to thank you for giving me the in order to officially become a WEEF past 16 months, and for answering the undergraduate engineering education here pleasure of serving as your WEEF Direc- Director. This meeting is happening July many questions I will surely have in the at UW. We saw participation rates reach a tor. I'm looking forward to transitioning 21st. If you would like to come out to an future. solid 80% and we held an election for our with Brock and wrapping up for the re- hour-long, fun-filled meeting on WEEF Food for thought: http://tinyurl.com/ next WEEF Director. We are also on track mainder of the term. As always, questions administration, let us know (weef@ WEEFtech to reaching our $10 million milestone in and comments are welcome to myself or engmail.uwaterloo.ca), but otherwise, I'm Well that's all for now. Keep your stick the Fall! A big thank you goes to our WEEF Brock at [email protected]. sure Laurin will have a quick summary for on the ice. Assistant Directors and Funding Council Good luck on your finals and see you in you next term. Cheers, class representatives for both helping with January! Praveen and I are working together right Brock Kopp The Iron Warrior 8 | Opinion } wednesday, July 20, 2011 Senate Reform Bill Needs a Sober Second Thought

Constitutional contradiction aside, this law ever be passed if the House of Com- order to please potential employers. Michael bill does not seem like a good idea. Right mons was controlled by the Conservatives Overall, the Senate reform bill pro- Laanvere now, the Senate is actually productive, while the Senate was controlled by the posed by Harper is not the best thing for 1B Mechanical which is something that people forget. The NDP? Nothing would ever get done! Canada. The Senate has served Canada for Senate revises and amends every piece of Having senators with limited terms is 144 years and everything seems to have legislation passed by the House clause- not only unconstitutional, but also illogi- turned out fine. That’s not to say there have Stephen Harper introduced his Senate by-clause. Look at the recent Canada Post cal. Among the reasons why senators stay not been a few things that I’d like to see reform bill which plans to make the upper legislation: senators had representatives for so long is their experience and it keeps changed, proportional representation of chamber a more democratic entity. While from the government, union, and compa- them unbiased. This is the sober second the provinces, for instance, but this bill is that may sound like a good idea, it deserves ny speak and be questioned. The law was thought that the senate is all about. It lets not the proper way to go about it. It’s prob- a sober second thought like all other legis- still passed, but at least it was thoroughly people with years of experience in various ably going to be taken to court by Quebec lation brought to the Senate. scrutinized and all parties involved got backgrounds make sure that the legisla- because it violates the constitution where, This legislation outlines two major re- a chance to plead their cases and answer tion is sensible. It allows every bill to be hopefully, it will die. There is talk now of forms to the red chamber: provincial elec- questions from the senators. thoroughly scrutinized by unbiased people a referendum, and if that happens, please tions would occur to elect senators and Elected senators will cause a huge grid- with different experiences, not just lawyers think twice about the repercussions of Sen- senators will be limited to serving for 9 lock in the legislative process. If senators and political scientists. Having term limits ate reform before you vote on it. It’s the years. The first problem is that this contra- are elected, they would start being more will cause senators to start scrambling for least that can be done for an entity where dicts the constitution. The constitution says aggressive, causing bills to take exponen- a job when their limit is almost up, which “Sober Secondengineering Thought” is theco-op slogan. student debt-load survey that senators serve until they are 75. This tially longer to pass if some senators disa- could cause them to vote a certain way in spring 2011 was changed by amending the constitu- gree with the House. Another problem is tion, which previously said they serve for that our system would start to become the life. The new bill should also have to go mess that they have in the United States Engineering Co-op Student through the amendment process – not just where legislation is sometimes impossible breeze through parliament because of the to pass because the upper and lower houses Debt-Load Survey Spring 2011 Conservative majority. are ruled by different parties. How could a Term Total Total Responses 879 U.S. Debt Crisis Number of surveys sent 1954 Response % 45% hit. It seems that Obama’s push to the left christy with maintaining current services will not # of Students in core classes 2605 rouault be possible unless funding comes from tax- Does your family support you financially? (867 responses) 1B environmental payers’ pockets. Tax increases have been Yes 63% aggressively opposed by the Republican No 37% Party in budget negotiations, forcing Presi- Average Cost of Living for a 4 month School Term (861 responses) America's whopping $14.29 trillion dol- dent Obama to make difficult decisions, es- $10,161 lars debt ceiling is, for the tenth time in the pecially with his approval ratings standing past decade, going to fall short if nothing so low. Average Cost of Living for a 4 month Work Term (813 responses) is changed by August 2nd. With a deficit The effects of such an influential country $4,127 of $1 trillion expected this fiscal year, it defaulting could be disastrous not only to Have you applied for local aid or other bursaries is hard to imagine exactly how that much the US, but also to countries who invest, to pay for school? (862 responses) money will translate into spending cuts or trade or collaborate with them. Unlike the Yes 42% tax increases. The United States’ debt has last case of a default, which was Peru in the No 46% been rising for decades now, and as they year 2000, the US economy directly affects rebuild their economy after the recession, the world economy and is in no position to Not Yet 12% they are in no position to begin reducing it start paying off debt any time soon. Obama Have you applied for OSAP? (873 responses) anytime soon. To reach President Obama’s has said that if a default were to occur, it Yes & Received 38% proposed budget for 2012, the ceiling could trigger another recession and would Yes & Denied 18% would have to be lifted by $2.2 trillion. For have serious outcomes for the economy. No 44% the Republican budget, it would have to Both parties agree that a default would be raised by $1.9 trillion. If the ceiling is have consequences. Do you have a loan for academic purposes? (861 responses) not lifted, federal spending would have to A default is very unlikely as congress has Yes 39% plummet dramatically or taxes would have never failed to raise the debt ceiling, but the No 51% to rise significantly, or they will be forced possibility is definitely lingering. A default Not Yet 10% into a default. in the US could happen before Greece hits How much is the student loan? (469 responses) With the Republicans pushing for spend- rock bottom, which is a startling compari- 1-999 13% ing cuts and the Democrats pushing for tax son made by many to put the urgency of the increases, it seems obvious that the Repub- situation in perspective. Obama’s proposal 1000-1999 5% licans are using the debt ceiling in their fa- of a $4 trillion deficit reduction within the 2000-4999 15% vour. Historically, the debt ceiling has been next ten years has been denied by Repub- 5000-9999 30% used for exactly that: a negotiation tool to licans. An agreement of $2 trillion seems 10000-19999 25% change or protest existing policies. In this more realistic at this point, although the 20000+ 11% particular case, there seems to be more Republicans seem reluctant to do so. If the Has the differential tuition increases than enough reason for the Republicans to treasury does not issue new debt, payments be outraged over the proposed budget as to creditors and other payments, including caused you hardship? (862 responses) it does not provide a credible path to bal- military salaries, social security, Medicare Yes 49% anced budgets. Medicare and unemploy- payments and unemployment benefits, No 23% ment benefits could be the first to takea could be limited or delayed. Not Yet 27% How much debt do you expect to be in by graduation? (844 responses) No Debt 28% <4999 14% 5000-9999 13% 10000-19999 17% 20000-39999 16% 40000+ 9% Do you live at home while at school? (873 responses) Usually 8% Used to 2% No 89% Have you lived at home while on work terms? (872 responses) Always 17% Sometimes 45% Never 36% Average of the weekly salary while on work term (723 responses) $678 The Basement publication of the Uw Engineering Society Volume IDK Issue X | Wednesdei, Julius 20, 2011

How to see the forest through Beacon of Bacon Confirmed ECE = Hell? the trees of learning?

Real men are built of bacon 21 grams for your soul Medication in syrup form birds.com/thetinsoldier http://tsoldier.uwaterloo.ca Grand Opening of QNC Almost a decade in the making threaten the QNC be- alison ing innovative on its Lee 1A Picotechnology projected opening. Engineering We basically had to beat Moore’s Law with innovative in- Future Archives: September 09, 2014 novation. Double in- Following Orientation Week 2014 was novation, it’s so in- the grand opening of the long-anticipated tense.” Quantum Nano Centre. The original pur- Because the fea- pose of the structure was to attract new tures of the QNC are students to UW’s Nanotechnology En- so innovative they gineering program with shiny windows, have yet to hit the hexagonal frames, and the promise of market, the exact high-end clean rooms and exclusive lec- construction tactics ture halls. After five classes graduated are not public infor- without seeing the building open, suspi- mation and are under- cions were raised about whether the QNC going patent approv- was actually being built or whether it was al. Information has all just a marketing ploy. Pictures taken in leaked that the build- 2011 showed large empty rooms and labs, ing’s interior was and actors were allegedly hired to stand self-assembled. The in the pictures wearing construction gear reason the building to create the illusion of progress. Another frame was on campus theory is that the QNC construction site for many years before was just part of the University’s continued opening was because effort to eliminate all campus green space. nanotechnology engi- A university representative denied these neers had not yet fig- claims and explained instead: “The actual ured out how to scale reason for the extra delay is that, follow- up molecular self- ing initial delays due to falling windows assembly methods to Quantum Nano Center Opening Day The Face of Boe and competing campus construction, the be commercially useful, but the QNC is nology and the UW staff who designed build three new engineering buildings, original design was no longer innovative. proof that they can scale this up by 10 or- the self-assembling QNC. The staff mem- E15, E16, and E17, to go on top of the Because this clashed with the Waterloo ders of magnitude or more. bers argue that, because they discovered existing antique E2 and E3 buildings. The brand, we had to innovate a new construc- There are now conflicts developing be- it, the QNC actually belongs to them now. buildings will only take about 2 weeks to tion method such that the increasing rate tween the Institute for Quantum Comput- The university plans to settle with them build themselves, so stay posted next is- of nanotechnology innovation would not ing and Waterloo Institute for Nanotech- by commissioning their technology to sue for their grand openings. Taxonomy of Nerds

projects—rather, realize that projecting of IHAO nerds, the best way to extract more like a constantly filming video Kathy their anger onto you is just a way of deal- yourself from their presence is to agree camera. They can spew out a colossal Beth terry ing with their own inner insecurities and with their opinion. Swallowing your pride amount of scitech-geekery at you, from Undercover nerd perfectionism. might suck, but it’s better than having to the number of pixels per square inch on How to Deal: The worst thing you can swallow their spiel. Alternatively, you an iPhone 4 to a discussion on the life tell a Grade Grubbing nerd to do is calm can use your own witticism to make them cycle of a virus in your body. Unlike the Engineering is a breeding ground for down. However, keeping yourself calm, look like a fool. IHAO nerds, VOFs can be very gentle but nerds. Like a free radical, propagation of and being rational can do a lot to avoid The Sci-fi/Fantasy Nerd: These nerds also very boring. They are truly passion- nerds is quick and virtually unstoppable. unnecessary conflict. are the most varied in type—they can ate about science and technology—they Contrary to popular opinion, nerds have The “I have an opinion” Nerd – The range from very quiet and geeky, to very just don’t know how to get this message a very complex speciation that is hard most popular of the nerd types, this nerd loud and overbearing about their choice across without sounding like a textbook. to distinguish unless you’re in the inner may seem deceivingly social. I-have-an- of science fiction or fantasy medium. The How to Deal: VOF nerds can be very ranks (translation: not all of them are the opinion types scavenge the internetz for loud and overbearing are the ones who sensitive, so approach with caution! If same)! Therefore, here is an insider’s per- information on anything from politics to have memorized huge chunks of books you’re caught in the presence of VOFs spective to the many species of nerds you philosophy to crude sexual humour, and or movies like The Matrix and will will- nerds for too long, try steering the conver- may encounter at Waterloo—and how to as a result, believe themselves to be Ph.Ds ingly shout these lines at you in opportune sation toward your area of interest. How- deal with them if you’re trapped in their on the subject matter. Don’t mistake their moments. Take heed, though: regardless ever, do understand that even the mere act presence for too long. talkativeness for sociability, though— of whether these nerds are quiet or loud, of being interested can spur VOFs on, so The Grade Grubbing Nerd – These they are often just looking for a channel these nerds are fused together by one instead of being polite, be honest—but nerds have one thing on their mind at all through which they can vent their wide ar- common thread: if you argue against their nicely! times: school and school only. Not only ray of useless knowledge rather than do- fetish, they will drive you into the ground. However, the best way to remedy these do they give 110% attention to school ing something productive with said infor- How to Deal: Sci-fi and fantasy nerds situations is simple: try becoming a nerd work all day every day, these nerds are mation (like writing in The Iron Warrior). aren’t just passionate about their book— yourself! Nerd transmorfiguration is vir- extremely high-maintenance, especially However, underneath their rather douche- they’re passionate about every book! So tually painless, and nerds are more than during group projects and exam time. bag exterior, these nerds can be surpris- if you really hate one of the books they’re willing to convert fellow non-nerds to These nerds believe that if they can’t do ingly refreshing people to talk to if you’re talking about, trying discussing your fa- their way of life. But finding the right type it, nobody can—heck, even if they can tired of making awkward small talk with vourite book or movie instead. of nerd to be is essential—and there are do it, nobody else still can. Don’t be random strangers. The Vat of Facts Nerd: These nerds always new and undiscovered species of scared if they snap or yell at you in group How to deal: If you are in the present don’t have photographic memory—it’s nerds out there. 2 | To the Bastille " The Tin solder Wednesdei, Julius 20, 2011 Letter to the Dictator of Allowed Content

Michael Solaris laughs in this issue if The Tin Solider The Basement Publication of SUPER PHOTOMAN was not being censored. I have attached the UW Engineering Society the photo as a final plea to at least have Dearest Dictator of Allowed Content, it printed as a letter to the editor, but if it Dictator of Content This is probably the first actual letter does not appear, then please head on over Dictator of Allowed Content’s Note: M.M.M. to the editor The Tin Soldier has ever re- to [redacted] to take a look at the picture Unapproved content has been redacted. ceived, but I felt it was necessary to allow that was rejected. Minions-in-Chief the readers of The Tin Soldier who look Sincerely, Inheritor of Minions forward to some comedy every 4 months Michael Solaris 2014 to know that there may have been more Michael Solaris Photography Tetris Minions Darnell From The Tin Soldier Staff Pokity-Poke-poke

Revolutionaries more months, November the 5th will return we seek, then we ask you to speak out as Comma Minions Tin soldier staff again. I challenge you, no - we challenge we have, in song and dance, and, together, It’s Not Funny you to be bold, to be brave and to inspire we shall publish a paper that shall never be Yes It Is A revolution begins with an idea. It can change for a fair, just and free thought-pro- forgotten. be the simplest idea. It only needs to be an voking forum. Flashy Minion idea that brings people together, a common We undoubtedly will be chastised and As a little girl in a red dress once sang: It Blinds Me! objective and a goal for the future. We, as silenced by our big brother and sister for “The sun’ll come out The Tin Soldier staff, have seen things that our actions in publishing this issue of The Tomorrow Spammy Minion we cannot forget. We must learn from our Tin Solder; however, we feel that it is im- Bet your bottom dollar You’ve Got Mail! fallen peers and honor them by forging on portant to remind everyone of the serious That tomorrow in the hopes of a newer, brighter day. lack of truth and transparency within our There’ll be sun!” Marathon Minions About nine months ago was the anni- community. So if you are unaware of the I Run Faster! versary of an event to be remembered in happenings of the censored world, then And we, your The Tin Soldier staff, look LIESSS history. A man wished to remind us that in I would recommend that you leave No- forward to a day where we can be proud to our world, fairness, justice and freedom are vember 5th unmarked. However if you see stand in the light and sing our own song, M.I.A. Minion perspectives, not just words. In about three what we see, feel as we feel, and seek as where the sun rises today. Vacant

Type-writing Monkeys Healthy Bakin’ with Bacon Kathy Beth Terry Michael Solaris Epic Teal mime Although this may be a tasty combo, it is cooking tool is and we can guarantee you Proud Mutineers no heart attack here a culinary tragedy to limit bacon, with all that they will say bacon. If they don’t, then Epic Teal Mime its diversity and dietary benefits, to only they aren’t famous. From pasta to seafood Lee Embree Om nom nom nom! How else can you one meal. Bacon makes everything better. to soup, bacon has proven its place in culi- Santa’s Mistresses describe the savoury, sweet taste of na- Name any food that is not improved by ba- nary culture. Emperor Penguin ture’s greatest creation? There is an end- con and you are a liar. If living in residence I know what you’re thinking by now: Tarc Man less list of adjectives to describe the mouth has taught us anything, it is that any shitty “Sure bacon tastes orgasmic, but the sci- Jelly Belly watering flavour and smell of the best that meal (and I mean shitty), can be improved entists and doctors say that bacon is bad An ECE Student pork has to offer. If there is one thing a exponentially with the addition of bacon. for my health.” Well that’s just a blatant Beer More Beer university student ought to know it is to Whether it is a peanut butter and bacon lie. It’s because these so called experts Double-O-Kevin cook bacon at least 12 different ways. sandwich, canned soup with bacon, Kraft fail to take the whole picture into account. Darnell Kumar Along with fruits and vegetables bacon is dinner with bacon bits or just bacon and Sure, bacon MIGHT clog your arteries and Katie Potatie essential to your daily diet, if you are not good old pink lemonade, bacon has made MIGHT increase chances of heart disease, Hans Solo eating bacon at least once a day you are not otherwise gag worthy meals into tasty but it provides some much needed happi- Leroy leading a healthy lifestyle. How do you treats. ness in your otherwise sorry day. If you are Kris-T think Lance Armstrong won all those feeling down, there is nothing better Tour de Frances? And Michael Phelps than a good dose of bacon. A happier Incoming Victim won all his gold medals? Bacon…and person is a healthier person! And be- Jon Martin lots of it. cause bacon equals happiness, bacon There are a variety of ways that also equals healthiness! So to hell nature’s treat can be cooked: pan fry, with the ‘experts,’ bacon is one of the microwave, bake. Of these the most main keys to a happy and healthy life. essential is the pan fry. This method One more note before we sign off, allows the bacon to be cooked to the don’t be fooled by any of the poser preferred crispiness and also leaves bacon out there. Whether it is turkey, the delicious bacon nectar behind, chicken, or dare I say “vegetarian,” aka bacon grease, to be used as both these so called bacon impersonators an anti-stick substance, and as a fla- are more fake then Pamela Anderson’s vour enhancer in future meals like: eggs, Bacon, however, need not be relegated knockers. Stick to pork, that’s the way na- pancakes, grilled cheese, pork chops and to a tool used for making crummy meals ture wanted it. So next time you want to bacon. So throw out that old canola oil or better. It is also common in the higher enjoy a well deserved meal of your favour- Pam, and go au naturel! realm of cooking. Ask any of the world’s ite porky snack, don’t feel guilty, you’re Most people associate bacon with eggs. most famous chefs what their favourite doing your body and your mind a favour! “Friendly” No Longer OLT Friendly

Lee Embree “kittens,” and “friendly.” The rationale for The NICKEL felt that the words “pup- 4A Nickle each can be explained below. pies” and “kittens” were too local to be The word “dirty” has been banned be- allowed during the Orientation Week. Stu- Whether you are an orientation leader cause the NICKEL felt like “dirty” had dents coming into campus may not have or an incoming first year student, the Nat- some sexual connotation. “Dirty,” as seen had puppies or kittens and, as such, will This is the small print. No one reads me. By reading this paper you have officially given me life. Your soul is now be- ter Intermediary Committee to Konstrain by the NICKEL, was rarely used in a pro- feel excluded if that type of language is ing stored in a tin can and might never be found ever again. Exclusive Language, (NICKEL), passed a ductive or constructive fashion, and there- being used. “Friendly” has become a word All hope for redemption is gone. list of words that are no longer appropri- fore would more likely offend incoming that has been associated with sexual or abu- Thank you for flying Engineering Airlines. Please remem- ber that this is a non-smoking flight. Should you wish to dis- ate for use during Orientation Week. The students if allowed. When asked about sive language in the local community, and embark, please finish all the crosswords since 1980. We may driving force behind the updated list is that why “dirty” had been banned, the NICKEL as such, is something that is to be avoided. or may not be able to provide these to you and no fewer than 10 of them are impossible to complete. administration strives to make everyone chair John Johnson said “...stop being a... A second reminder email will be sent out This is the rant of a tired copy editor. It should prob- feel welcome and excited to be a part of dirty...NICKEL...” to all incoming students and leaders the ably be modified before being published however The Tin Soldier does not like copy editing therefore it might still be this school. “Sunshine” was taken off the list of ac- week before Orientation in order to remind published. No one should be blamed for anything anymore Previously, words such as “Frosh,” ceptable words because recent studies have students of the rules they need to follow. In forevermore. “lame,” etc., were excluded, as learned shown that too much sunlight is correlated the meantime, all leaders have the Call to We would like to disclaim the existence of the North Kore- an Campus as you can only scroll infinitely for so long before by many students during their Orientation with skin cancer. The NICKEL stated in Action to avoid using the words mentioned you go absolutely crazy. Leader Training. In the letter sent Mon- the press conference that skin cancer is not above, or any other words, so that all in- If you reached the end of my rant then have a cookie and day, some additional words were banned, something the entire university community coming students feel welcomed and loved don’t come over to the dark side. including “dirty,” “sunshine,” “puppies,” promotes. when they arrive on campus. The Tin solder (^ ’o’ ^) WOW! You’re tall... | 3 Wednesdei, julius 20, 2011 Pole Vs. Counter-Pole

POLE BiPolar Disagreement COUNTER-POLE

Santa’s Mistresses (PUN!), then you are, without a doubt, in- Emperor Penguin “presents” to let poor victims know he was <3 Elven Engineering tellectually challenged. Now let’s talk about <3 Chubby Chasers playing with their children’s stockings. Of the Arctic. Even the South is flirting with course, a monster like Kringle makes sure While the South has provided “endless the idea of getting some of that! It’s pretty There are three kinds of debates in life: to leave wealthier children ponies and bi- contributions” to the world (we’re just be- obvious that the NORTH end of the world those which are trivial and localized, those cycles while poorer children get underwear ing nice here), the South cannot compete is the amazingly hot girl in school that eve- which define a generation, and those which and socks. He might have been brought with the aura surrounding the North. It’s ryone is crushing on and the SOUTH is the define the human condition. Passions can to international justice except he employs not hard to believe that the North’s awe- geeky, uncool, acne-ridden pre-pubescent flare for all three, whether debating the hundreds political decoys to wander street someness transcends far beyond the gift-to- boy who is hopelessly in love with her. merits of Backstreet Boys over N’Sync corners and shopping malls. the-world that is St. Nick. Now, for a quick second, let us broaden (though with JT on the latter’s team, it’s The South Pole is so tremendous (espe- As an animal slightly more evolved than our view to the South, a place full of mys- a wonder that anyone could disagree with cially when compared to the North) that the Homo sapien, you should know that tery and failure. Yes, failure. Failure as in the superiority of the great men with whom even wild animals native to the North Pole the motherland of maple syrup and hockey the plethora of bird species in the southern we prematurely had to say “bye bye bye”), attempt to traverse the globe searching for is the only country that can live up to the hemisphere, like penguins and ostriches, of marriage equality, or of moral absolut- Southern comfort. In a documentary by name of the GREAT White North. Besides that cannot fly. These birds just sit there, ism against relativism, stances are chosen Coca-Cola, a family of polar bears was fol- these amazing entities, the land of creativ- look cute and, if need be, shove their heads and rivalries formed. The debate at hand lowed as they journeyed to the South Pole ity (which is hasn’t hard to prove given that into the ground to hide. What is more pa- today is undeniably the most polarizing of just to enjoy a Coke with the citizens of Northeners can make IKEA-worthy homes thetic is the fact that they believe that stick- the third class, and hopefully after reading the South Pole. The bears, used to Jolly out of snow AND invent twenty words for ing just their heads in the ground will save this argument there will be no more uncer- Leader’s despotism, assumed that they said building component) have produced them from ferocious beasts. Also note that tainty: the South Pole is superior over the would have to pay to receive refugee status prominent international policy makers like these birds use the same manoeuvre to hide North; end of story. from the benevolent penguins, and made William Shatner (Star Trek FTW!). Also, from embarrassment; ironic, much? In all Northers like to argue by heralding the the dangerous move to steal from the Fat just for comparison, the neighbouring seriousness, the North Pole has reindeer alleged merits of the home-invading glut- Man’s stockpile of sweets. Would a koala country SOUTH of the Great White North that can fly. Reindeer, who have nothing but ton, Kris Kringle. Kringle, known by the bear ever travel to Canada for Mountain produced George W. Bush. ‘Nuff said. antlers for aid, can fly and you’re telling me those unfortunate enough to live in his Dew? Would a Panda even ponder pad- Expanding on the above-mentioned that these southern BIRDS with WINGS frozen tundra as “Jolly Leader”, is a ruth- dling to Peru for prognosis from Dr. Pep- prominence of figures hailing from Don can’t fly?!? For the record, if these birds less autocrat who makes citizens toil in per? Of course not! Only a contrast as Cherry’s kingdom, a special mention has to belonged to the NORTH, it is guaranteed his work-camps making toys for “the kid- great as that between the nefarious North be made for Colin Mochrie. The man with that they would have been able to fly; un- dies”. The pollution from his sweatshops Pole and splendiferous South Pole could the glorious, shiny mass that is his head is, fortunately, they were not given that privi- has caused permanent environment dam- foster such desperation. by far, the funniest man alive. His love for lege and grew to be substandard creatures. age, resulting in disfiguring mutations Herr Kringle’s propaganda machine at- cats, animal genitalia, audio clues and fold- Now, to the most obvious advantage of including severely stunted growth and tempts to paint the North Pole as a utopia ing up dead people like balloon animals North over South: St. Nick. He gives chil- bioluminescent tumours. He frequently in which he controls the weather and the is what epitomizes his fabulous existence dren presents and hope; does any figure engages in international espionage for happiest of people live, but the truth is (and the related presence of his extremely from the South provide for the world in the sole purpose of watching children as clear: the North Pole would make Mephis- fashionable and loudly coloured Hawaiian such a way? I think not. Seeing as little fat they sleep, perversely keeping meticulous topheles barter to escape. The South Pole, shirts). birds in mock tuxedos are the lone contri- record of their daily activities. Around the by contrast is a wonderland which fosters If you haven’t figured out that the North’s bution to the world from the South, it’s safe darkest nights of the year, Kringle actu- harmony, scientific breakthroughs, and the fame and grandeur is directly attributed to say that this argument is very polar, don’t ally infiltrates foreign nations, breaks into calm, comforting baritone of Mr. Morgan to Canada’s presence on the world stage you think? the homes of children and leaves behinds Freeman. A Real Exec Report I am not a The Iron Warrior staff but pretended to be one to write this note’s note: Tarc Man She then noticed a thick envelope on the This box usually contains some useful, relevant information regarding how the is going to the bomber coffee table. Curious, she peeked inside. opinions above are blah blah blah. But honestly, who cares? They’re opinions. “Gee whillikers!” she jubilantly pro- On the other hand, stories are much, much more interesting. I believe that *PSYCHEDELIC DREAM SEQUENCE* claimed, “This is the most incredible finan- stories should be put into these boxes instead. Wouldn’t you agree? Please send ********************************** cial document that I have ever seen!” in your opinions to [email protected]! This is the story of Goldilocks and Fiscal Inside the envelope was a set of docu- Responsibility. Once upon a time, there was ments labeled “Waterloo Engineering Soci- a bonnie young lass named Goldilocks. She ety Finances”. Drafted by one “Marc Tan” was sauntering through the woods on the and supported by “Mary Bland,” the reports way to her grandmother’s house when she within indicated a veritable “motherload” of Section 666 happened upon a wee bluebird. His feathers excellent fiscal management. Intrigued, she were ruffled and Goldilocks, being of an in- started to read them: An ECE Student detail. quisitive mind, asked him what was wrong. “The ECIF met on Wednesday and we are Once upon a Time (c) Instructors are to coordinate in or- “My finances are a disgrace!” exclaimed the presenting our allocations at tonight’s Eng- der to ensure that major projects are due in Bluebird, “I have been financially irrespon- Soc meeting, so come out tonight to find out Electrical and Computer Engineering has groupings. sible, spending all my money on decorative what is being allocated. Also council must long been one of the flagship departments Subsection 666.1: Labs shrubs and commemorative plates!” ratify our proposal so definitely be there! for the University of Waterloo; however, (a) If labs cover material presented in lec- “Oh no!” cried Goldilocks, “You should Coverall Day was a great success, sell- ECE has its dark side. Many eager prospec- tures, they are to cover content prior to the come with me on an adventure of econom- ing 15 coveralls, which is amazing! I also tive students are lured in by promises of content being covered in lectures. ics!” The bluebird complied reluctantly and finally got our society allotment after walk- excellent education and even better career (b) Lab groups that are completing labs joined Goldilocks on her journey. ing to FEDS and giving their VP Adminis- opportunities. First year seems good with a on-time must be informed of further restric- They continued to wander through the tration and Finance a ‘wonderful’ talk. So I large amount of control and guidance com- tions. woods, when they happened upon a small can pay people again, like Mary! Anyways, ing from the first year engineering office, (c) Lab groups that continue to complete cottage. Eager for a place to sit down and thanks everyone for the last 16 months and however, this all changes for second year. on-time after (b) is implemented must be discuss financial matters, Goldilocks un- I’d like to wish David Birnbaum good luck For those that are unaware, there is man- provided with faulty equipment. latched the back door and let herself in. on his next 16 months as he’s going to need datory completion of the Authorization of (d) The expectations for lab procedures At this point, the author promptly ran it. I also want to say good luck to all the new Soul Transfer Form. If you are in ECE and should be detailed, but these details should out of ideas and the bluebird vanished in incoming exec; have a fun ride! I’m not ap- have yet to fill out the form, there may be not be provided to students. a puff of apathy. Goldilocks then began to plying for any directorships, so too bad, you large late fees. This form can be found at (e) Lab manuals should be reviewed rifle through the cottage’s drawers, when won’t get to see my beautiful face organiz- http://ece.uwaterloo.ca/final/Academics/ yearly for material to be removed. It is she happened upon a series of important fi- ing stuff anymore. Also thanks to my direc- Forms/SoulTransfer/. Students receive sec- mandatory that material is removed during nancial documents. After investigating their tors; you did what I couldn’t! tion 666 of the policy manual on delivery of each of these reviews. Actual lab require- contents, she realized that one of the resi- FINALLY GET YOUR RECIEPTS IN the form to room 0666 of EIT. The follow- ments should not be changed to accommo- dents of the cottage had poor management BEFORE EOT OR ELSE!!!!!!! (I won’t ing is a summary of then most often imple- date the removal of procedure steps. practices. They spent too much money and give you money back)” mented policies under section 666. Subsection 666.2: Examination ended up in debt. However, further investi- Taken aback by the phenomenal work be- Subsection 666.0: Time Commitment (a) Final exams are to be worth 50% gation revealed that another of the cottage’s fore her, Goldilocks beckoned her bluebird (a) Students are expected to spend 20 minimum. inhabitants never spent any money. They friend back from the ether, to show him the hours a week dedicated to each course. (b) If a student does poorly on an exam, kept all of their money in a shoebox under newfound example of economic excellence. (b) If a course is offered from another this exam is to be worth more. a bed and, due to inflation, it had lost value. “Oh, glorious financial management prac- department with a similar description, the (c) Midterm exams should not be short Dismayed by the residents’ lack of fiscal tices,” she cried, “I’M NEVER GONNA ECE version of the course must cover at enough for a student to complete in the time responsibility, she collapsed on the couch. GIVE YOU UP!” least twice as much material at twice the permitted. 4 | OMG! I created a infinite number of boxes + The Tin solder Wednesdei, Julius 20, 2011 Beer Buzz: Laker Lager Letter to the Editor The Champagne of Beer Failed Excuses

has been brewed by the Brick monks of I was like “No, you can’t! I will defeat Barley Babe & Waterloo since the 18th century. Its popu- Double-O you even if it means that I won’t be able Hoppy Hunk larity skyrocketed in the last 100 years KeVin to submit my article that I totally wrote 4A Beerineering due to its proximity to Laurier High 1B ethanolism on time and it will look like I didn’t do it School, and the University of Waterloo. on time but I really did and it’s going to Unfortunately, students do not respect be lost in a heated battle in order to save Welcome back readers, to the wonder- this fine beverage of high quality and use Dear Fräulein EIC, The Iron Warrior as a whole and surely the ful world of beer. This week we will be re- it for many highly competitive sports. It is with a heavy, but noble, heart that I fate of the paper is more important than a viewing what we can truly say is the best They also spill it on many surfaces with- write this letter to let you know that I will single article and I should really be her- beer we have ever tasted – Laker Lager. out care. For such an excellent beverage be unable to submit my article, “Failed alded as a hero and not irresponsible but Actually, that would be an utter and com- it is quite cost effective, and is produced Excuses for Missing Deadlines.” I actu- rather super-responsible, you fiend!” By plete lie. It is in fact the best drink (non- in massive quantities. ally totally did finish it and it was so good the merit of sheer necessity I then acquired alcoholic included) we have ever had and It tastes best in a small volume glass at that the Nobel committee requested that I the sword of Douglas Wright and smote ever will have. EVER. It’s name falls room temperature and we strongly advise not only win all the awards but also that the wretch! Sadly, however, in the heat of trippingly from the tongue – Lllllakker decarbonising it in a big plastic tub (pref- they should rename the award after me valiant battle my article was lost in order Laaaagggerr. So many L’s, so much al- erably in a sketchy garage, but a sketchy because my article was “DYNOMITE.” to save The Iron Warrior as a whole and literation. It is categorized as a discount kitchen is also acceptable). To savour its Anyways, after rejecting the Globe & Mail surely the fate of the paper is more impor- beer, but don’t let this fool you! The story delicate taste it must be drunk as fast as for the third time (at which point they were tant than a single article and I should really of Laker Lager is an enchanting tale of a humanly possible while in a crouching so desperate they said I wouldn’t have to be heralded as a hero and not irresponsible diamond in the rough who falls in love position. It is crafted from the finest qual- include a paragraph explaining how Harp- but rather super-responsible, my friend! with a beautiful princess and they – wait a ity ingredients, plus one secret ingredient. er will decimate tardy articles) but I said As the beast man lay on the ground, his second, that’s the plot of Aladdin…well it The secret ingredient is rumoured to be “No! I have an obligation to the EIC and dying words were, “In my last moments I does have some of the same elements. For the souls of ECE students, but we know must maintain my pristine record of punc- have seen the light, probably by witness- instance, it is in rough packaging (like a for a fact that it is actually the crushed tuality!” I loaded my USB with my arti- ing a man as punctual and responsible as street rat), but has a heart of gold! Also, if hopes and dreams of engineering frosh. cle, and made way to the IW office. Ex- thou. My dying wish is that you tell the you drink enough of it your dreams will It has huge, dense head and pours a mag- cept when I was on my way this really big EIC that your article was totally done on come true and you will be in a happy, nificent amber colour. It smells of fresh guy came up and said “Hey you! I’m go- time, for real, and you only lost it for the brightly coloured world, full of beautiful cut grass, new parchment, toothpaste, and ing to take your money and beat you up!” I good of the paper and you should really people where songs spontaneously erupt Ron Weasley’s hair. Its flavour is like a said, “Do what you will with me, but spare be heralded as a hero and not irresponsi- at the right moments. We can’t guarantee unicorn high-fiving a narwhal – absolute- my articles for The Iron Warrior!” And he ble but rather super-responsible.” Two there will be a cute monkey in a hat, but ly sublime! said “GRRRR! I hate The Iron Warrior!” tears rolled down my cheek: one for the maybe, just maybe, if you drink enough But truly, it tastes worse than someone And I said “You cold-hearted monster!” reformed man, and the other for having and believe with all your heart, your wish peeing in our mouths after they’ve just and then he started cackling and ripping up lost the article. Anyways, this absolutely of having a monkey servant will come won an asparagus-eating contest. Ew. issues of IW and referring the first-years as won’t ever happen again…probably. true. And we always say Fear No Beer – but in “frosh.” He then said “I’m going to go to Love, Laker Lager is a Trappist beer which this case you should steer clear! the IW office and destroy the paper!” and Double-O Kevin School of Optometry Discovers Cure for Waterloo Vision

Waterloo Vision is a disturbing phe- then I told them a joke about a Jacobian der a minute). Rats treated with a daring Darnell nomenon that is characterized by deluded they didn’t know the difference between new drug, “ethanol,” were found to first Kumar fantasies regarding the world in which the spherical and cylindrical coordinates! I stop solving puzzles, then spend less per- 1B Medicine patient lives. Specifically, primary delu- assumed they were joking, but it turns sonal time learning new programming lan- sions of Waterloo Vision include distorted out they weren’t.” Others cite confusion guages and finding enjoyment in activities perceptions of the physical attractiveness when asking their special dates out to a other than StarCraft. The rats were also Researchers at the Waterloo School of of people around them, unusually high seminar on Quantum Field Theory and observed excreting hormones. Male rats’ Optometry have made a breakthrough in expectations of mental capacities, and being rejected. “I guess she must have al- Douchiness coefficient increased 70% and medical innovation with a groundbreaking inability to notice fashionable clothing ready been familiar with it,” said the re- both sexes excreted 67% more pherom- cure for an endemic with which a whop- in contrast to casual, worn-out clothing. jected engineer. ones increasing attractiveness to rats out- ping 87.32% of UW student faculty are When interviewing sufferers of the afflic- The researchers claim they’ve found side their colonies. The radical treatment afflicted. This rampant condition is, of tion, common testimonies include, “I was a positive response in rats afflicted with has already entered clinical phase III tri- course, the infamous plague of Oculodis- in Toronto and everyone was so fashion- Waterloo Vision (they couldn’t relate to als, with expectations to be on the market torisis, better known as Waterloo Vision. able and beautiful. It was ridiculous. But other rats unable to solve mazes in un- as soon as December 2011.

“Who do you blame?” Minion “en Chef” of The Soldier Tin

“The bald and not excessively bald and not “Me” excessively smart hamster obeyed a terrified “The paper bag princess” Katie Potatie, 2B NOT IN NANO and not excessively terrified hamster” Leeroy, 2B Voting Hans Solo, Drunk Jedi r i b u n a l t

“Blame it on the Alcohol” “Roy” “Computer Engineer Barbie”

T i n Kris-T, 2B Candy Dictator of Allowed Content Inheritor of Minions The The Iron Warrior wednesday, July 20, 2011 { Opinion | 9 Point Vs. Counterpoint The benefits of nuclear energy POINT outweigh its associated risks. COUNTERPOINT

Spenser Good for the purpose of generating hydroelec- Anish Bhutani searched that does not have the same dis- 1B Mechanical tric power collapsed, killing an estimated 4A Chemical astrous consequences if everything fails, 171,000 people. Coal pollution is estimat- then that option should be chosen before In the wake of the recent earthquake ed to cause somewhere in the vicinity of First and foremost, the response to nuclear energy is considered. Following and tsunami in Japan and the subsequent 10,000 deaths per year. In 1944, an explo- whether or not we should have nuclear Germany’s lead on trying to phase out nuclear disaster at the Fukushima nuclear sion at a natural gas plant in Ohio killed energy should not be based on the as- nuclear energy on a national level, more plant, questions have begun to arise con- 130 people. Even wind power, despite its sumption that every reactor will blow up companies will be willing to put their cerning the safety of nuclear power. Al- short existence and tiny, tiny contribution one day and cause a global meltdown. It money into another energy source, which though it has always been a hot button to power generation on the global scale, should also be acknowledged that one ton may lead to a source of energy that is re- issue, more and more people who were can be directly attributed to the death of of uranium can produce as much as two newable and safer. once apathetic or even mild supporters of fifty seven people (largely caused by hurl- million tonnes of oil equivalents (TOEs). Another problem with nuclear energy is nuclear power are jumping on the anti-nu- ing ice from turbines and installing the This article will also acknowledge that that there is no fail-safe way to dispose of clear bandwagon. The terrifying images towers at large heights). It is quite clear events like Chernobyl and Fukushima are the waste that is produced by the reactors. shown on media outlets worldwide and that nuclear power is dangerous. How- very rare occurrences. With the increase While methods have been introduced that the arrival of radioactive air from across ever, it is blatantly obvious that it is really of research and technology going into can avoid damaging the surrounding en- the Pacific has made nuclear power seem no more dangerous, and even safer, than nuclear energy, these occurrences will vironment and community, the waste is like a dirty, dangerous and even reckless most other forms of energy generation. become even more infrequent, and future still dangerous if those systems fail after process that is not only damaging the en- The next argument of the anti-nuclear occurrences will be contained so that less a long period of time. If nuclear energy is vironment, but also threatening mankind. advocates would be that nuclear power damage is done. However, in discussing continued, more of this type of waste will However, don’t let yourself be fooled by destroys the environment. It has had its the costs of nuclear energy, the costs of exist in the world. The probability for the alarmists. The quest for sustainability share of incidents that have negatively research and technology need to be taken such outcomes may be limited, but either in the face of a ballooning global popula- impacted local environments, but on a into consideration, as well as the costs in- humankind will run out of space to put tion lies with nuclear power more so than global scale, nuclear power has almost curred when a reactor fails, such as when the waste, or there will be so much waste it does with windmills, solar power or any no negative effect on the environment. safety triggers fail or an earthquake and that it will be likely that a couple of these other sort of renewable energy. We cannot In fact, a recent study conducted by the tsunami hit the plant. systems will fail. let one incident cloud our judgement and Organisation for Economic Co-Operation This is a debate that many governments Global warming is another issue that make us flee from the only viable source and Development (OECD) found that, in- have been discussing, with clear differ- is often brought up during discussions of clean energy that we have. cluding all installation, extraction, manu- ences in decisions that are being made, on different energy sources. One reason Denying the potential dangers of nu- facturing and production factors, nuclear such as between Germany and France. some people feel that nuclear energy is clear power is stupid. These are valid con- power is a “lower carbon option” than not In May of this year, the German govern- beneficial is because it doesn’t release cerns that must be addressed if a country only coal and natural gas, but even wind ment announced that they would be shut- any greenhouse gases. This is false when plans to generate its energy through the and solar power. This is because enough ting down many of their nuclear power the entire life cycle of nuclear energy use of nuclear power. However, to address carbon has been released in the manufac- plants, with the goal of removing all of is taken into account. The methods for these fears, we need to examine these con- turing, transportation and installation of their nuclear plants by the year 2022. mining uranium, purifying the uranium cerns objectively without alarmism. The a wind turbine or solar panel to outweigh The reason for giving themselves eleven so that it can be used in the reactor, main- facts show that nuclear power is not only their relatively puny one hundred percent years is to have enough time to research taining the reactors, and eliminating the safe, but also much less deadly than any carbon-free energy production. The idea and implement other energy sources that remaining waste products all require other major source of energy, even the that nuclear power generates dangerous are renewable and do not have a high cost energy that is not just nuclear, but also hailed “alternative sources” such as solar amounts of unrecyclable waste is also of failure. gas and other sources that destroy the and wind. easy to debunk. Most of the waste created On the other hand, in the last couple of environment. Now, there can be an argu- Let us first examine major incidents by nuclear power plants is classified as weeks, France has announced that they ment that this is the same issue with any that can be “blamed” on the use of nuclear “low level waste” that is easily recyclable. will be upgrading a number of their nucle- energy source, including many common power. As of now, there has been only one The remaining dangerous amounts can ar plants, as well as investing one billion renewable energy sources. However, the incident involving fatalities in the entire easily be stored in remote, secure places Euros (approximately 1.4 billion CAD) difference between them is that if a good history of nuclear power usage that can be where it will never be a danger to any hu- into their nuclear program. The reasoning renewable energy source is found, there attributed conclusively to radiation. This, man. Sorry to all the Armageddonists and behind this is that that they want to avoid won’t be the need for as much energy to of course, was the Chernobyl incident that alarmists out there, but nuclear energy IS what happened at Fukushima, and with be put into protecting the plant and the occurred in 1986 in the Ukraine, then part the cleanest method of power generation enough funding, they believe that these surrounding environment from a failure. of the Soviet Union. Although devastat- we have. types of incidents will not happen again. Also, other sources of energy may not ing, this accident must be viewed with Many also fret that nuclear power plants Every country is developing different need very highly technological devices to perspective. This plant was inadequately are potential terrorist targets and security policies regarding the funding allocated maintain the waste, or if it does, efficient, taken care of, in bad repair, was old and threats. This notion is laughable. Since to renewable energy. Germany is stating long-term methods can be found much was poorly run. Above all, it existed in 9/11, countless studies have poured time that they will not be putting any funding more easily. one of the most oppressive and incom- and money into determining how safe into nuclear power. This will lead to more The last reason that nuclear energy petent regimes in the history of mankind. nuclear plants are to the dangers of a ter- research groups and companies investing should be avoided is from the engineer- Despite this, the Chernobyl plant would rorist attack. They have all concluded that their resources into finding alternative ing perspective of sustainability. Nuclear have never melted down under normal they are in no way a threat. Nuclear plants sources of energy. In France, policy mak- energy is not technically a renewable en- operations. It was a foolish and risky ex- are designed in such a way that a full sized ers are taking the opposite approach that ergy source, and while it may be likely periment, which involved testing a po- jet could smash into one at full speed with nuclear energy is the best option, and that to last longer than oil reserves, it will tential emergency core cooling feature relatively little effect and NO chance of it will be around for a long time. They still run out or get to a point where us- that caused the incident. Chernobyl was breach. Also, security is so tight around are putting resources and research into ing it is too expensive. On the principle a perfect storm. Even the slightest regard nuclear plants that it would be almost im- nuclear energy to make it safer and more of helping the next generation, it is bet- towards safety would have prevented possible to infiltrate a nuclear plant, and reliable in the future. ter to work towards finding an alternative this accident, and that is why an event even if this was achieved, there is no melt- This counterpoint will outline the energy source now rather than wait until like Chernobyl was one hundred percent down button that would cause the entire reasons why nuclear energy is not the we are on the verge of running out of re- preventable and is not a fair basis of an plant to spontaneously combust. The idea right choice. For starters, no matter how sources or destroying our environment, argument for anti-nuclear advocates. De- that nuclear plants are a threat to our secu- much research is going into nuclear en- even though this may not happen for a spite this, only 65 deaths can be 100% rity is just another alarmist concept imag- ergy, there is always going to be a cost number of years. directly and conclusively attributed to the ined by the regular group of anti-nuclear of failure that arises when nuclear energy It is the hope that readers here see that Chernobyl incident (according to a com- Armageddonists. is being used, such as what happened at nuclear energy is very costly, and no mat- mittee run by the United Nations). As for We live in a world with a population Chernobyl and Fukushima. The incidents ter how much the costs can be reduced, Fukushima, there is still no conclusive that is large and getting larger. We don’t had high death tolls and damages, some there is always the risk of a devastating list on the deaths directly attributed to have enough power already. The world is of which were irreversible, were done to failure. There is also the risk of what to its quasi meltdown. Right now, however, threatened by climate change caused by the the environment. Even if billions of dol- do with the waste and what to do with ZERO deaths can be directly attributed to release of huge amounts of carbon emis- lars are spent to make a nuclear power maintaining the system during its opera- the Fukushima nuclear incident. The two sions. We need an affordable and practical plant nearly safe, there is that risk that all tion in order to keep it from failing. Last- most major incidents in the existence of source of energy that will carry us through the systems in place can still fail. When ly, nuclear energy is not a fully renewable nuclear power’s history have death tolls the distant future without worsening these that happens, there will be major conse- resource and will cause a problem some- of sixty five and zero, respectively. Al- problems. The anti-nuclear advocates are quences. If another energy source is re- time down the road. though both are tragedies, these are not noteworthy not only for alarmism and fear Armageddonist numbers. mongering, but also their failure to pro- Before we condemn nuclear power, vide a viable alternative. That’s because Editor’s Note: we must also review the statistics stated there is no alternative. Nuclear power is Point Vs. Counterpoint is a feature meant to stimulate discussion on thought- above and compare them to other disas- safe, clean and practical, and humanities’ provoking topics. The views and opinions expressed here do not necessarily ters caused by power generation through survival does not hinge on its destruction, reflect those of the authors, The Iron Warrior, or the Engineering Society. other means. In 1975 a dam built in China but instead on its existence. The Iron Warrior 10 | Opinion } wednesday, July 20, 2011 Sex-Obsessed Media Home from the War personal affairs. While I’m not condoning stan. Indeed, Canada’s recent combat in- Alexander “sexting” various women while married, chad volvement in Libya is a further testament hogeveen this transgression pales in comparison to XU to the changing attitude towards which we rutter 2B Management 4A electrical the dire consequences facing the American project our military influence on the glo- government and people. To give you an bal stage. For better or for worse, as Ca- idea of what a default means, think of what nadians, we must come to terms with the On June 30th, multiple reports indicate would happen if you simply decided not to July 7th, 2011 officially marks the end transformation that our nation has under- Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the embattled pay off your student loans. What if you just of Canada’s combat role in Afghanistan as gone. Like an artefact of history, the sym- former Managing Director of the Inter- said, that’s it, I’m not paying anymore. I as- the Canadian forces hand over command bolic blue beret donned by our forces for national Monetary Fund (IMF), will be sure, you, the consequences would not be of Kandahar province to the United States the better half of the 20th century had found released on his own recognizance and the pleasant. Now translate that to a $14 trillion military. After nearly a decade of fighting, its place on the trophy shelf, unlikely to be charges against him will likely go unsus- debt (just higher than the American Gross that resulted in the deaths of 157 brave and worn again in the foreseeable future as its tained. Domestic Product). Translate that to a honourable Canadian service members and color fades away in plain sight. Even worse After being accused of sexual assault crushing blow to a government serving 300 tens of thousands more Afghan lives, one is the possibility that it would someday be against a hotel chambermaid, the disgraced million citizens and serving as the lynchpin cannot help but wonder whether it was all donated to the metaphorical “Salvation Strauss-Kahn was extradited to the United for the entire global economy. worth it in the end. Army” of the world as the next generation States for charges, apparently one of the Kind of puts the sexting scandal into September 11th, 2001 undoubtedly of Canadians inherit “the house.” most grievous offences by a public official perspective does it not? Similarly, consider changed the worldview of everyone on The soldiers on the ground on the other in recent years. It has now come to light leaders like Arnold Schwarzenegger, who earth that day. Fury, sorrow, apathy, and hand had a completely different view of that the maid in question has ties to crimi- managed one of the largest budget short- joy were all suitable words that described the war altogether. All members of the nal activity, lied multiple times in various falls in history by trying to balance various the emotions felt by people around the Canadian Forces are volunteers who will- government documents and testimonies, referenda mandates, the needs of the public globe. Most however, mourned as we once ingly signed up for service, and as such, and had discussed the possibility of extort- services and the state coffers, while con- again saw the vile actions that humanity is they were trained to be soldiers. They were ing Strauss-Kahn for money. currently presiding over attempts to enact capable of doing while under the influence trained to fight in a politically-agnostic en- Cases like this detract attention from le- some of the most progressive legislation of dogma. Canada, as a member of NATO vironment, or more precisely, there is little gitimate sexual assault, which is a real and in the United States such as renewable en- (North Atlantic Treaty Organisation) and room for politics to begin with when the all-too-pervasive tragedy within our soci- ergy minimums, same-sex marriages and one of the oldest allies of the United States, cracking sounds of bullets are whipping ety. I should make it clear that I in no way the most advanced emissions and alterna- was obligated to do its part in bringing inches above their head. The Canadian sol- endorse sexual assault and strongly encour- tive fuel regulations for cars in the United justice to those who have committed the diers on the front lines of Kandahar fought age persecution for actual offenders to the States. Yet we judge him on his sexual re- atrocities on that fateful day. above all else, for each other. They were full extent of the law. lations with a maid many years ago, rather Enter Afghanistan, the temporary hide- brothers and sisters in arms. Nothing else However, one source that deserves some than his policies and actions on such press- out of Osama bin Laden, mastermind of in the vanity of madness induced by war of the blame for the false allegations is the ing concerns. 9/11 and a perpetrator of terrorism against or politics can shake their commitment for public and media’s continued obsession These issues have real impacts on the humanity. So it was, after fighting in Af- one another. with sex scandals. As politicians continu- lives and livelihoods of millions of people, ghanistan for nearly a decade, Osama bin Unsurprisingly, the disconnect between a ally become measured more by their pri- as well as reverberating effects on global Laden was shot dead in a Hollywood-style soldier’s day-to-day armed exchanges with vate affairs, rather than their public actions, challenges like climate change. While I raid in the neighbouring country of Paki- the insurgents and Canada’s stated mission ideas, and stance on political issues, there is wish all the best for the unfortunate families stan. in Afghanistan, one of nation-building, a stronger and stronger incentive for black- of those politicians who choose to engage in Mission complete for Canada then? Not conjures up a contradictory impression of mail and extortion. deviant sexual activity, this can and should quite. our success and true objective in the for- A good example is the relentless assault be dealt with by the family. There is nothing Sometime after the Battle of Tora Bora eign land. We were without a doubt the vic- on Representative Weiner, fuelled by an to be gained from media and public atten- in December 2001 where bin Laden had tor in nearly all the tactical engagements orgy of humorous puns. While the Ameri- tion, which only detracts from attention that made a narrow from escape from U.S. fought in Afghanistan. The Canadian can government teeters on the brink of de- should be focused on the crises facing our Special Forces, the NATO contingency, military has some of the finest and fiercest fault, all eyes are instead focused on a man’s economy, society and environment. ISAF (International Security Assistance warriors anywhere in the world. But if we Force) was formed with the intention of, were to measure our success by the number summed in brief, nation-building. The new of Afghan hearts and minds we have won The Future of Nationialized primary objective of the Canadian Forces over, then it is with great regret to say that in Afghanistan was to ensure the safety and we did not achieve our goal. Our efforts freedom of the civilian population from the seem to have done little more but further Postal Service tyranny and oppression of the Taliban. divide the diverse ethnic groups living in However, as with all conflicts, mistakes the volatile nation. The various attempts five years, the loss of business due to the are often made under the proverbial fog of domestic terrorism and protests within Spenser strike will leave a hole in their finances that of war. Collateral damage in the wake of our own borders tell an even more distress- Good may turn these profits to red ink. “laser-guided democracy” (spearheaded by ing story as we began to polarize our own 1B Mechanical The next question is; do we really need a our neighbours to the South) was inevita- population. nationalized postal service? The last thing ble. As a result, the sentiments of the com- Afghanistan will invariably fall victim this country needs in a time of fiscal uncer- mon Afghan towards the coalition forces to a civil war once the remaining coali- There is no doubt that the role of any tainty is a nationalized mega service that became jaded as time progressed. To them, tion troops pulls out of the region. Even modern day post office has been greatly loses money, is unreliable, prone to labour this was no better than the Taliban rule of with Western military advisers who will diminished in the last ten to twenty years. strife and of little relevance to modern life. yesteryear. Nor was it better than the eerily remain in the country indefinitely, the cor- Advances in modern technology, and more Although it is obvious that we will always similar Soviet occupation four decades ago rupt Karzai government is still nonetheless specifically the rise of the internet, have need a delivery service of some kind, if or the British colonization attempt in the ill-prepared to fight the far more cohesive provided a viable alternative to the paper not for letters then for parcels and the like, 19th century. Afghanistan with its turbulent insurgent forces. mail that has dominated the globe for cen- there are many alternatives to Canada Post. history was aptly nicknamed as the “grave- Perhaps we are being too hard on our- turies. The recent postal strike did little to When electronic means do not suffice, yard of empires.” selves as Canadians when we ask whether underline the need for a national postal many companies turned toward privatized The tragic mistakes on the part of the it was all worth it. Perhaps the more practi- system, but instead forced companies to delivery services such as FedEx and UPS ISAF collective also saw the revival of the cal thing to do would be to reflect on the make use of alternative methods of con- which provide reasonable and reliable Mujahedeen, an organization independ- new insights we have gained as global veying information and paying bills. Many service. ent from the Taliban, that only a couple of citizens after witnessing the tattered third- of these alternatives, including scanning, It is up to our government to decide if we decades ago was supported by the United world country humble a global alliance. faxing and making electronic payments are need a nationalized postal service. Howev- States during the Cold War to fight against Certainly, on the top of that list lies the in many ways more convenient than the er, if the answer does not lie in privatiza- the Soviets. The level of irony is of Shake- realization that freedom and democracy, conventional postal system, and the strike tion, then it certainly lies in modernization, spearean proportions. If there is anything despite being basic human rights, is not further highlighted this convenience. In and at the very least a major reality check. history attempts teach us, it would be the something that can be handed out. They fact, many companies have stated that they A struggling, largely irrelevant government fact that history indeed teaches us nothing. must be inherently craved for and earned have permanently switched to electronic service relying on taxpayer dollars should Canada was faced with an identity di- by the nation in question, as had been dem- billing and invoicing in the wake of the not be subject to labour strife. It wastes lemma. The traditional Canadian value onstrated by the recent regime changes in postal strike. too much money and only underlines its of peacekeeping was, to put it lightly, se- other parts of the Middle East. Only the The statistics support these suspected lack of importance in today’s society. Ul- verely insufficient in dealing with the com- Afghans themselves can pick up the unre- trends. Canada Post has stated that letter timately, Canada Post will decide its own bined threats of the Taliban, the Mujahe- markable pile of rubbles in their homeland volumes have declined 17 per cent per ad- fate. If it chooses to modernize and com- deen, and other foreign Islamic extremist and transform it into the familiar cultural dress over the last five years. Major banks pete with other services in the same indus- groups. In the decade since 9/11, Canadian mosaic found in Canada’s own underlying have pushed customers to move to online try, it could remain a profitable enterprise. foreign policy would continuously test the values. In the end, there were no grandiose banking, with ING recently announcing However, any more petty labour disputes boundaries of our own acceptance of what victory celebrations like the ones sixty-six that 350,000 of its customers are moving or a refusal to change and it will become it means to be a participant in the Global years ago when the boys came back from exclusively to online banking. This move another fatality of globalization and mod- War on Terror. The perception of the Ca- Europe. We didn’t need one. Most people alone will cost Canada Post $2.3 million a ernization. Times are changing, and unless nadian military as a force devoted strictly were silently grateful in knowing that their year. Although Canada Post has managed Canada Post wants to become Canada Past to peacekeeping missions will be forever loved ones are still alive and finally home to turn relatively sizable profits in the past it must also change. subverted by our involvement in Afghani- again. The Iron Warrior wednesday, July 20, 2011  Science and Technology | 11 TechnoSpeak: The Future Now

has been released meaning you’ll soon be tion Eye, and the Nintendo 3DS. With cur- faster than light. Hence, what better way to Ammar Masud capable of controlling your computer Mi- rent Smartphones, you have the ability to transmit information other than light? Pho- Krishna iyer nority Report style but better...no power use the camera to acquire the live image tonics is that field of science where light 2B Nanotechnology gloves required. that is modified on the screen by utilizing interacts with electronics. Fiber optics has Cloud Computing the GPS and the magnetometer (digital been used for a very long time by internet As technology progressively gets better, compass) to identify where the camera is companies to enable higher bandwidth of The best part of technology is that there people have started using multiple devices pointed and figure out what additions to data transmission. However, with the need are always more advances on the horizon that previously would have been possible make. Currently you can find the locations for faster data transmission standards to so there is always more to look forward to. only on a computer. The advent of wireless of friends and find links to websites and keep up with the high density displays, There are trends that can be followed to internet through cellular networks and Wi- information about locations. This is just huge memory storage devices, and so on, help accurately predict what will come in Fi has spawned countless mobile devices the start though. The American Army is I can imagine a world in which fiber optics the near future, but then there are always such as slate computers, media players, interested implementing glasses that alter as used more widely. Furthermore, using things that come by surprise. When mak- Smartphones, Netbooks, etc. As such tech- what you see directly rather than through principles of quantum cryptography, fiber ing predictions there is always the worry nology proliferates, it becomes important a camera to help identify friendlies when optics can be used to make the most secure of missing something important and then for one to keep data synchronized between in the battlefield. Imagine needing to go method of data transfer. There is several of over-thinking it and making an incorrect these devices. This is where cloud com- to the washroom and arrows suddenly ap- quantum information processing systems forecast. We are all doomed to hindsight puting stands out. I use a Smartphone, a pear in the air for directions, or having any in which data thieving is almost impossi- bias so if you are reading this from the fu- laptop, a desktop and multiple PCs in com- website appear on any surface with move- ble and immediately detectable. The pos- ture, note that we are not psychic. Here are puter labs. Services such as Windows Live ment tracking to develop and interactive sibilities with such secure connections are our predictions of what you will see intro- Mesh and Dropbox have allowed me to surface anywhere. endless. duced (or see more frequently) in the near seamlessly sync my folders. Steam (a dig- Better use of the USB standard Power efficiency future. ital gaming network) stores my licenses for With almost all my portable devices be- The focus of present generation circuit Touch/Gesture Control games I own so I can play on any computer ing charged through the USB interface, I designers is power efficiency. On an av- The majority of Smartphones are now with ease. Such technology is only going can envision more power outlets with built- erage, a Pentium processor dissipates 10 utilizing touch-screens and the new Xbox to get more prevalent. I would love to have in adapters outputting 5 volts via the USB times more heat per square centimeter that Kinect uses in-air gesture control of my history synced on all of my browsers interface. Moreover, I can see more port- a hot plate. All the power hence dissipated Xbox360 menus (and playing games of (any other “redditor” would agree strong- able devices using the microUSB stand- as heat is a waste of energy and must be course). A new trend seems to be develop- ly). Services like eyeOS provide a com- ard as the data transfer/charging interface. minimized. Further, with the quick transi- ing. Physical buttons and mice will not die plete desktop computing experience within Presently, my media player, my cellular tion from powerful desktop computers to out but will become accompanied by ges- the browser. telephone, my video camera and external portable computing, there is an increasing ture based controls. There will be a strong Augmented Reality hard drive all use different interfaces to need for minimum power consumption in push from Microsoft with Windows 8 It is as cool as it sounds, already intro- connect to my PC as well as charge. With order to maximize battery life. This is fur- which has been revealed to have a separate duced to Smartphones and having been more companies agreed through a Memo- ther visible in displays. With the advent of interface just for touch screen navigation. available to aircraft pilots for years, aug- randum of Understanding to use similar low power display such as e-Ink and mira- The touch interface will be on all versions mented reality is real-time alteration made interfaces, I hope to see microUSB being sol, a whole new generation of computers of Windows 8 which raises suspicion that to reality through computer generated implemented uniformly across multiple has been spawned in the form of e-readers. laptops with touch screens will become images and sounds. It can be as basic as devices thus reducing the complete array These e-readers can give up to months of the standard in the near future. Having the adding a squares around other aircrafts of various cables and assortments of charg- battery life on a single charge. This is also tablet market flourish shows consumer in- to being as complex as creating an aug- ers I presently own. evident in battery research and design to terest which the developers will strive to mented pet. You may already have used it Photonics find the highest energy density system to exploit. The Xbox Kinect windows SDK if you have ever used Wikitude, Playsta- As Einstein claimed, nothing can travel store energy. Nostalgia Galore: Chemical-Free Labels: Old-School Cartoons Are They Real? The Flintstones them that make it good for the consumer Krishna This classic cartoon has been on TV Kevin or planet. One way to start this move- Iyer since the 60’s, entertaining kids and adults Joseph ment is to forbid the use of meaningless 2b Nanotechnology alike. The Flintstones revolves around a 2B Nanotechnology terms which can be applied to any product family set in the (inaccurately represent- equally and invalidly, such as “chemical- ed) Stone Age. The misadventures of the free.” So, exam-time is nearing. I found that the main protagonist, Fred Flintstone, are the When was the last time you bought a The inherent danger in this practice is best way to study is, of course, to procras- source of endless hours of entertainment. box of electrons? How about a can of plas- the creation of a lot of noise which drowns tinate and cram all night long on the eve of As a construction worker, Fred uses dino- ma or a case of quarks? As charming as out serious threats. When people are bom- the exam. This frees up a lot of time in your saurs as cranes to move rocks around and that would be, it sounds strange for a rea- barded with various terms, all of which schedule these days. The Iron Warrior has build buildings. His family consists of his son: it does not make any sense. And yet, sound vaguely “green,” it becomes in- the perfect solution for that. Not being a beautiful wife, Velma, his one child, Peb- how peculiar is it that there are a number evitable to make concessions and not buy big fan of anime, I decided to go old school bles, and a pet dinosaur, Dino. Their neigh- of “chemical-free” products in the market. products that are “non-synthetic,” “chem- and watch those cartoons that would prob- bours, the Rubbles are also an integral part This evidently is a misnomer employed ical-free” or “HFCS-free.” The problem ably remind your father of his childhood. of the plot. The use of Jurassic era crea- by deceptive marketers, hence, a recent is that some things, such as the lack of These cartoons (despite being incredibly tures as analogues to modern day technolo- push by chemists to ban this practice. high-fructose corn syrup, are actually le- racist sometimes) are also incredibly en- gy is also a source of humour and constant Some might argue that this is a harmless gitimate. Several studies, endorsed by tertaining. If you have never watched any jokes. Recently, it was announced that Seth substitution for meaningful distinctions The American Medical Association, have such cartoons, don’t fret. We are here to tell MacFarlane (of Family Guy and American such as “toxin-free,” “preservative-free” linked high-fructose corn syrup to obes- you exactly what you missed out on during Dad fame) is going to revive this cartoon or the dubiously valid “synthetic-chemical ity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and your childhood. with a new twist in the spring of 2013. free.” The fact remains, however, that this other serious health problems. Yet, those Tom and Jerry Wacky Races is not the case, and by allowing manufac- who lobby for HFCS are able to take ad- This show’s plot is the classic cat and This is by far my favourite old school turers to sell products with false accredita- vantage of the flood of pseudo-significant mouse chase. Despite the premise being cartoon. This follows a race of eleven tion, this fosters scientific illiteracy, con- labels and concerns with an ad campaign ridiculously simple, the characters in this cars around the world. The main villains, fusion and allows for serious dangers to be in which one person says to another “My show never fail to crack me up. Tom is a Dick Dastardly and Mutley (a dog with underemphasized. hairdresser says high-fructose corn syrup blue and white cat living with his owner a very funny-sounding laugh), are con- Perhaps, the majority of people do not is bad for you,” and gets the reply, “Is your (whose face is never revealed) in a large stantly trying to sabotage opponents in know the exact difference between chemi- hairdresser a doctor?” In a world in which mansion. Jerry is a small brown mouse order to emerge victorious in the race. All cals, toxins and preservatives, or between scientific honesty was taken seriously, who is bent on making Tom’s life hell. the standard characters are featured in this organic, non-synthetic and natural chemi- everyday consumers would be able to tell These adventures are highly entertaining. cartoon including the dainty damsel in cals. However, to use the terms willy-nilly the difference between safe and unsafe Although they contain copious amounts of distress (Penelope Pitstop), the cavemen not only increases the confusion and igno- products and being a conscious consumer cartoon violence, these episodes are ingen- (Slag Brothers), the Mafia characters (the rance, but actually encourages it. It leads wouldn’t be so arduous a task. ious in the use of contraptions built by both Ant Hill mob), the hillbilly (Luke), the per- people, who might otherwise have an idea Maybe it’s a trivial fight, but the use of Tom and Jerry. Every now and then, there fect gentleman (Peter Perfect) and more. of what is in these products, to receive terms like “chemical-free” are just part of were special episodes of Tom and Jerry set There were several spin-offs spawned from blurred notions, and so the health- and a bigger plague in which nonsense like ho- in the future or Tom and Jerry flying into the success of the series like The Perils of environment-conscious consumer is left meopathy and power balance wristbands outer space. Side characters in the show, Penelope Pitstop and Dastardly and Mut- trying to decipher which product is the hide behind vaguely scientific-sounding Spike and Tike, a father-son bulldog duo, tley in Their Flying Machines. “greenest.” Instead of using buzz-words, terms and prey on an unwitting public. are often featured in the show. This series I hope these cartoons are satisfactory for which manufacturers know consumers Demanding legitimacy in the market is a is especially impressive because of its abil- those like me who enjoy watching cartoons don’t actually understand, product labels step in the right direction in the interest of ity to entertain without dialogue. and experiencing nostalgic flashbacks. should explain exactly what is it about empowering the consumer. The Iron Warrior 12 | Arts and Entertainment ¯ wednesday, July 20, 2011 A Review of EngPlay: Rhinoceros

This review is based on the Friday, July 15th piece if attention was given, but also con- where two conversations were supposed to Chris showing of EngPlay. tained enough comedy and action to keep overlap, the actors had difficulty keeping in Letnick The title of the play this term was Rhi- the less attentive audience members enter- sync. Although this did result in a bit of con- 3a computer noceros. This is a full length play set in tained. fusion for the audience, it is an impressive the 1950s about a town where people start At the time the doors opened, the cast and theatrical stunt to attempt with the small turning into rhinoceroses. The play was crew were well-organized for the EngPlay amount of rehearsal time the actors got. The EngPlay has been a long standing tradi- written with a very serious attitude about production. Pre-show music was playing remainder of the play was quite seamless. tion for the University of Waterloo Engi- social movements and mob mentality prior and there was a dancing projection of a rhi- The large stage crew resulted in very fast neering Society. Almost every term, a the- to World War II. This selection of play is noceros on the wall to keep the audience set changes. The actors appeared to be per- atrical production is put on by primarily much more serious than what is normally entertained. forming their roles more naturally after the engineering students. This term’s EngPlay done for EngPlay, so the directors chose to With the introduction of the main charac- first scene change, especially after intermis- had an impressive total of 27 people who appropriately shorten monologues and pro- ter, Barenger, as he makes a fool of himself, sion. This is possibly due to them becoming were directly involved. This group com- vide actors with a large amount of freedom the introduction of a logician, and one too more and more comfortable on-stage. prised of 13 actors, 10 crew, and 4 direc- to add comedy. The result was a play that many innuendos, the first scene was one of The production was well done and stayed tors. EngPlay has a history of having a very had enough of the original content to un- the funniest. However, the most confusing true to the expectations of an EngPlay pro- small cast and crew with few exceptions. derstand the theme of the originally written moment was also in this scene. At a point duction. What’s so great about Harry Potter? The Life and Times of a Harry Potter Fangirl

the time when the first four books had been But I will confess one Anjali released and that there was a three year gap thing: you will never Gopal between the release of the fourth book and find such a group of 2B Nanotechnology the fifth. Back then, Harry Potter was only Harry Potter-crazed as famous as The Chronicles of Narnia or adults or kids beyond The Lord of the Rings—a lot of people had our generation. For I have a very serious and, at times, a life- heard of it and it was certainly a big deal those of us who were consuming problem: I am obsessed with in any discussion of books, but Potterverse old enough to savour Harry Potter. didn’t stretch very far beyond its beehive the books and wait for No, really. I am the type of girl who of bookworms. Nevertheless, I fell in love them as they came out would spend three hours debating with you with Harry Potter back then because of the and old enough to grow over why Bellatrix Lestrange is the best sheer brilliance of the idea: an ordinary, up with the actors and villain ever, why Slytherin house isn’t all unremarkable boy who found out he had actresses—that’s a sort that bad and how Steve Kloves (the writer his own special destiny? A secret world of of connection that no of the Harry Potter films) is a Harry/Hermi- witches and wizards hidden between our other generation can one worshipper who couldn’t understand own? How awesome! Perhaps now, there have. Some of my clos- foreshadowing if it bit him in the nose. are a lot of similar and better written stories est friends that I have Most people don’t understand my addic- that can compare, but back when I was ten, met have bonded over tion though. As the number of days nearing there wasn’t. our love for Harry Pot- the release of the final film grew smaller Ten was also the age when the mov- ter. The fact is, all of my and smaller, for every excited person I saw, ies first came out, and I will 120% agree younger cousins who I met an equal number of exasperated and that the movies probably had the biggest have read the books, annoyed people who just couldn’t didn’t contribution in making Harry Potter the watched the movies understand what the hell was so great worldwide phenomenon that it has become and have admitted they about Harry freaking Potter. It was just a today. For those of you who aren’t Harry liked it will never like it movie—a book—and not even a very well- Potter fans, you were terribly unlucky to be as much as I will. written one. What was the big deal? caught in a generation that was on-par with So, the next time If you, dear reader, are among the ranks the movies. When I was ten, Harry was ten. you see us—a group of of people who roll their eyes at the mention When I was thirteen, Harry was thirteen. kids who desperately of He-Who-Is-So-Overrated, what you’re And once the movies started rolling out, wished Quidditch and missing isn’t just sixteen hours of screen- there was always something Harry Potter to Butterbeer and spells play or five thousand pages of contrived look forward to each year: it would either were real—remember: *carmenharada dialogue. It’s the experience, the expecta- be the movie, or the last four instalments of we aren’t crazy. We were just a group of just as entranced with an idea as we are. tion: it’s the enchantment that surrounds the highly anticipated books; more likely young and impressionable kids who turned So, forgive us, if we were a bit too hys- Harry Potter that’s such a big deal. than not, there would be months and weeks into optimistic and dreamy adults. To us, terical over this last installation of the Pot- Let me explain: I have been a Potterhead of anticipation leading up to these movies. the magic isn’t in the books—it’s in the ter films but, as my friend Maddie (who is since I was about nine years old (that was It was like Christmas, but cooler because atmosphere, in the anticipation and in the also a fellow Potter fan) said, “What do I back in 2000). If you were a hardcore Har- you knew—and wanted—exactly what knowledge that yes, there are people like do now that Harry Potter’s over? I might ry Potter fan, you’d remember that this was you were getting. us out there who are just as passionate and just have to grow up.” The Iron Warrior wednesday, July 20, 2011 ¯Arts and Entertainment | 13 Future of Gaming: You Are Cheating the System!!!

The rental place is able to “sell” the game to accept the losses incurred by rentals and life span, releasing downloadable content Jon over and over again without ever needing used games and are taking steps to pre- and continuing to operate servers long after Martin to purchase new products, and at the end vent the practice. EA is now introducing a they would have normally shut them down, OBI JON1138 of the process, the game will probably go “PlayPass” which uses an individual code purely because they know that people are into the used game bin. Of course, there are to authenticate a game for online play. This still buying the game and they are still get- other retailers, like EB Games/Microplay, idea is currently being used by other pub- ting income from it. Hey everyone, this is the last issue of the that skip the rental phase and just buy the lishers and is the norm in PC gaming, but Now for the downside, which is basically term before going onto exams, or, if you are games directly from gamers to resell. For its effects have yet to be seen in the console the eradication of the entire rental and used on co-op right now like I am, it is getting used games, people will readily pay 90% gaming crowd. In a new copy of the game, game market. Let’s say a game retails for into the final month of the term, and you of the retail price for a new game when it purchasers will receive a code in addition $60, including a playpass, and a store wants better start thinking about that work report. goes on the shelf; the problem here is that to the traditional manual; register the code to sell the game used, knowing that you will For this issue, I’m going to be discussing a the publisher and developer sees absolutely with your Xbox Live tag or PlayStation have to purchase a playpass. If the playpass topic that has come up many times in the no profit from that sale. While a new sale Network profile and you are good to go. costs $30, the retailer can only charge $20 media and a couple of times in this column will normally yield some profits for the de- The interesting part comes when you want for the brand new game if they want to en- over the years – video game rentals and veloper, the process of reselling the same buy a used copy of the game – How do you tice you to choose a used copy over a new used games. game allows the retailer to keep all of the get around the missing playpass? Here is one. That’s a far cry from the traditional I’m sure all self-proclaimed gamers, and profits for themselves. where the publishers are able to actually $50 price tag. Also, that means the store can many who say they just play games casu- There are tons of games on the market profit from the reselling of their games by only offer the original owner about $10 for ally and therefore aren’t “gamers,” have that deserve higher praise and the chance offering the playpass as a separate purchase their copy, which will definitely cut down rented a few games. I definitely won’t deny for a sequel, but if the developer doesn’t from their online store. on the supply of used copies. that game rentals are a great way to try out see enough of a profit on the original, there I see a couple of benefits for the indus- The consequences will be even worse a game and see if all the hype is really jus- is little chance that decision makers of the try – if you are in favour of developers not for rental stores, as they will basically be tified, or for the speed freaks out there, it company will give the green light to a new going bankrupt, that is. The biggest benefit, forced to shut down their gaming sections. can be a way to actually complete an entire adventure. So the bottom line is basically, of course, is the fact that the publisher and Renting a game will be impossible once game. if you want to support the industry and you developer actually make a profit on the people realize that the $6 rental fee doesn’t As for used games, who doesn’t want to want a sequel for that game you just bought, resale of the game, at least in an indirect include the $30 playpass (again, just an save some money and pick up a game after buy new, especially if the game has only re- way. Instead of the retailer pocketing all the estimate). With video game rentals a dead someone else has finished playing it? For cently come out. Do you really care about money, the developer is able to charge each market, there goes another source of used many games, there really isn’t much replay saving $10 enough that you are willing to user for the use of their product. The other games. value to draw you into keeping the game give EB Games $40 and the developer $0? benefit is in the data the continued sales As you can see, there are dire conse- and starting the adventure again, and so the Now I’m not going to say that buying provide. What I said earlier about the pub- quences for the rental and used game mar- games just end up sitting on a shelf collect- used games is entirely evil, but I think lishers making most of their money from a kets, and the promise of lost profits for ing dust, but if a store would actually pay there is a time window in which it should game in the first few months was an actual publishers. Who should win? Let’s reword you good money (that is questionable at be avoided. Multiple game developers have statement from a publisher, but how do they that statement a bit… Who should win: The some spots), then why not? shown that they make most of the profit on really know? The publisher has no way of people who create and produce the game For both rentals and used games, the big- a game in the first few months of sales; be- knowing what sales they would have had or the companies that resell the product gest issue is the impact on the developer yond that point, it really isn’t noticeable. So if they weren’t actually profiting from the without contributing to the industry? Hmm, through the lack of sales. For rentals, it is don’t worry about buying NHL 2011 used resale, but now there is a way to track those seems like an obvious choice to me. obvious that the company renting out the when NHL 2012 is coming out in a month resales, as everyone who wants the full ex- So that’s it for this article and for this game is making all the money, while the – by that time, the developer really doesn’t perience will need to purchase a playpass term. Good luck on exams and work developer only gets income from the ac- care. from the online store. Publishers would be term report writing, and be sure Keep on tual number of copies purchased by renters. It seems some publishers aren’t willing able to track sales of a game over its entire Gaming. Fashion Files: The Swim Suit Issue

Now that you know my dirty little where my massive thighs extend far past larger variety, avoid those itsy-bitsy bikini swimwear secret, we can move on to the my hips. I have another low-rise skirt bot- tops; in many cases, they don’t provide the Amanda LeDUC 4A management tips and tricks of finding the perfect swim- tom that has a plaid pattern and is designed support or coverage you need to hold the suit for your body. We’ll start with ladies’ to look kind of like a cute, flirty mini-kilt. girls in place. If you have smaller ta-tas, swimwear, and then briefly discuss men’s The combina- you’re lucky swimwear. tion of a low- in that you Swimwear is a touchy subject for a lot If you are self-conscious about your der- rise cut and can wear just of people. In everyday wear, we can easily rière like I am, try opting for mini-shorts ruffly, short- about any type disguise or cover the parts of our bodies we or little skirts on your swimwear bottoms. skirt look with of swimwear dislike, but when it comes to swimwear, I feel like traditional, bikini-cut bottoms a plaid pattern top and have it exposed skin is unavoidable. But don’t just scream, “Hey, look at my huge thun- is flattering and look fabulous. fret; there is a flattering swimsuit out there der thighs!” and accentuates how far they looks nothing You don’t have for every figure so you can be confident in stick out relative to the rest of my frame. like your grand- to worry about your swimsuit! But now you think, “My grandmother ma’s skirted looking trashy To break the ice, I’m going to tell you wears swimsuits with a skirt; I’m way swimwear. or too scandal- an absolute too young for If you are ous by show- secret about that!” to which self-conscious ing excessive my favourite I respond, “No, about your cleavage or swimwear that you aren’t! If tummy area, worrying about you cannot tell those skirt bot- opt for a tankini one of your ta- anyone: my ab- tom swimsuits or a one-piece. tas falling out solute favourite make your Fortunately for of your top. bikini is from grandmother you, the one- Now for the the plus size look good, im- piece swimsuit men. You have department at agine how awe- has a made a it pretty straight the Bay. I’m not some they’ll f a s h i o n a b l e forward. Board kidding. You make your comeback. No shorts are a look at me and 20-something longer do one- Victoria’s Secret sure winner think, “she’s body look!” piece swim- Rushed one piece every time; you definitely not The trick is suits have to be synonymous with Speedos really can’t go wrong with swim trunks. plus size,” and to find a young- or other such racing wear. There are so You also can’t go wrong with crazy pat- no, I am not, looking skirt many fashionable options out there with terns or colours. The only thing I ask you but full-figure bottom. One plunging necklines and strapless tops that to avoid is the brief-style Speedo bottom. swimwear is of mine looks a one-piece can look as good, or better, If you aren’t a competitive swimmer, we designed to be like a wrap than many of the bikini options available. really don’t need to see you in a brief style extra flatter- around skirt but Furthermore, many tankinis and one-piece Speedo. An acceptable alternative is the ing, so why not doesn’t quite suits have ruching on one or both sides jammer-style Speedo. It’s significantly give it a try? meet up at the which nicely conceals any insecurities in less creepy-looking, and is just as fitted Swimsuits are front of the left the tummy zone. and competitive-swimming-friendly as stretchy; you’ll Sears leg, so there is Lastly, if you are self-conscious about the brief-style. And that’s it for my male be surprised at Think banded halter, slit skirtini a slit through your ta-tas, there is also a swimsuit for swimwear input. what you can find that fits in the plus size which you see the black bikini bottom. The you. Halter style tops with a thick neck tie Stay Classy and Wear Sunblock, swimwear department and how amazing it slit is strategically placed so it shows the and thick bottom band look amazing on Amanda makes you look. bikini bottom from the front, not the side all sizes of ta-tas. If your ta-tas are of the Chief-Fashion-Officer The Iron Warrior 14 | Features 8 wednesday, July 20, 2011 Tour de France: A Biking Experience

er misfortunes). lead. Injuries have also broken the Tour- finish, they are confident they can bring alison Here is an update on the 2011 Tour, winning dreams (and collarbone) of veter- it home. After Stage 13, Frank Schleck Lee which moved into its 14th stage on Satur- an Bradley Wiggins, but the “crash of the was in second place with 1:49 off the lead 2B Nanotechnology day, July 16th. This year’s Tour has seen race” prize certainly goes to Juan Antonio and Andy was in fourth with 2:17 off the the emergence of a new set of stars and Flecha and Jonny Hoogerland. Reckless lead. Another favourite to win is probably a series of dramatic driving by a televi- Cadel Evans, who has finished on the po- On the other side of the pond, the accidents. In the first sion vehicle knocked dium twice but never in the yellow jersey. world’s biggest cycling challenge is in stage, the 2010 cham- Flecha off his bike, Maybe the third time is the charm. After progress. While not as popular here, the pion Alberto Conta- sending Hoogerland Stage 13, he holds third place with a 2:06 Tour de France still has a dedicated fol- dor suffered a crash flying behind him… gap between him and the leader. So who lowing all over the world. If you’re new to that injured his knee, into a barbed-wire is this overall leader? Thomas Voeckler the sport of cycling, here are some quick and he is still suffer- fence. It is not pretty, of team Europcar. Known for his strength facts: The Tour de France is a race that ing from minor inju- but it’s on YouTube if in the mountain stages, Voeckler had held travels 3,443 km, mostly in the French ries as he continues you have not already the yellow jersey in stages of past Tour de countryside, in 21 stages during the month to race in the middle seen it. France, but never been able to keep it to of July. Throughout the race, there are 4 of the pack. Previ- One pair to watch the end. With frequent daring passes, ac- coveted jerseys to wear: best mountain ously a favourite as are the Schleck cidents, and team maneuvers, this year’s flickr.com/photos/malias climber (red polka dots), best young rider a return champion, brothers racing to- Tour has proved unpredictable. (white), points leader (green), and overall Contador can pretty much try to just fin- gether on team Leopard-Trek. Andy and Now you’re set to watch the remaining leader (yellow). There are 22 teams of 9 ish the race with a decent time, although a Frank Schleck have been racing well near stages! They’re broadcast live on TSN at 8 riders for a total of 198 cyclists (although dramatic comeback is not out of the ques- the top of the standings and have, thus far, am (except for rest days), and sometimes fewer actually finish due to injuries or oth- tion because he is only 4 minutes off the avoided accidents. After a strong Stage 12 re-broadcast later in the day. NBA Lockout Continues

cilities for any reason, and teams cannot money that goes to the players, the league not all, of the players in the league could Andrew conduct any kind of summer camps, prac- and owners ensure more money for them- just go overseas, play in Europe and wait mcmahon tices, workouts or team meetings. selves. out the lockout with minimal losses. This 1B environmental The lockout was a result of too many As the lockout continues, more and is similar to the way that NHL players went teams operating at huge financial losses. more players are accepting offers from to play for teams in Europe during their Financial restraints resulted in wealthier European teams to go play overseas either league’s lockout in 2004-2005. On July 1st, the NBA commenced a lock- teams dominating while smaller market temporarily or for an entire season. Deron Other professional sports leagues like out of its players until a new collective franchises remained bottom feeders. The Williams, a franchise player for the New the NFL and NHL have so called “hard bargaining agreement is met between them league has been trying to propose restric- Jersey Nets, has agreed to preliminary cap” systems designed to have fewer ex- and the National Basketball Players’ Asso- tions that would restrict the amount of terms with a team in Turkey last week. He ceptions to spending limits. Even with this ciation (NBPA). During a lockout, play- money teams could spend on players, so is the first big name in a list of players who system, the highest-spending team in the ers do not receive their salaries and teams that all franchises would be competitive have talked about deals with European NHL spends twice as much as the lowest- cannot sign, negotiate or trade player con- and not operate at losses. The players’ ar- teams should the lockout extend into next spending team in the league, and in the tracts. Players cannot use their team’s fa- gument is that by restricting the amount of season. This exposed the fact that most, if NFL, there is also a gap of about 70% be- tween top and bottom. The NBA operates similarly to the NHL, with the LA Lakers Recipe: Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins spending twice as much as the Sacramento Kings; for this reason, they should focus Ingredients on a cap system that has a small range Callie • 1 cup whole wheat flour between the highest and lowest spending Holt • 1 cup all-purpose flour teams. The players should ensure that a 3A Chemical • 1 1/2 tsp baking soda team cannot spend an abnormal amount • 1/2 tsp salt under the cap and the owners should want • 1/2 cup butter a hard cap so they don’t have to spend I can’t say that I’ve ever met anyone who • 1 cup white sugar more than they have to. Unfortunately, hates muffins. They exist in almost every • 3 ripe bananas, mashed the players want an increase in pay and the flavour combination imaginable, so there’s • 1/2 cup water owners want to spend less, and neither side something for everyone. • 1 tbsp vanilla extract is budging. The best thing about muffins is that • 1 cup dark chocolate chips It is my opinion that the lockout will they’re so versatile. Muffins for dessert? Directions result in the loss of the next season in the Great choice. Muffins for breakfast? Also 1. Preheat oven to 350oC. NBA. After watching how the NHL was acceptable! Any excuse to eat chocolate for 2. In a medium bowl, mix together able to bounce back after its lockout a mere breakfast is fine by me. flours, baking soda and salt. six years ago, I don’t think that the two ne- These muffins are crispy on the outside, 3. In a larger bowl, cream together gotiating sides are worried about time con- soft on the inside, and full of chocolatey butter and sugar, and then add in mashed straints. The NHL was just as popular dur- goodness. Thanks to the bananas, they bananas, water, vanilla extract and choco- ing the 2005-2006 season as it ever was, keep enough moisture that you don’t even late chips. and the belief that the NBA can pull off need to add extra butter before eating. 4. Stir until uniformly combined, such a feat will extend the stalemate. This and then spoon into greased muffin tins. whole ordeal has no end in sight, and is a Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins Callie Holt 5. Bake for 25 minutes, or until sad reminder that professional sports is a makes 12 muffins Chocolate Chip Banana Muffin toothpick comes out clean. business and not driven by the competition 6. Cool on a rack, and enjoy! and desire that the fans love to believe in.

#O2 The Iron Warrior wednesday, July 20, 2011 7 Features | 15 Beer Buzz: Kitchener Ribfest & Craft Beer Show

Brook Beers, Railway City Brewing Com- Rebecca Cameron pany, The Flying Monkey's Craft Brew- 4N Geological ery, and the Wellington Brewery. Overall, Eric Cousineau 4A Electrical there were over 50 different beers to try. Beer alternatives were also available and were provided by the Black Fly Beverage Hello readers! Today we bring you an Company and the Yellow Tail Winery. In article that is going to give you a lot of addition to beer, there were seven ribbers info about the craft beer festival scene in there, along with a ton of traditional fair Ontario. We are going to start things off fare. The ribs we got were from Boss Hogs with a brief description of beer festivals. BBQ and were absolutely amazing! There A beer festival is an event in which you was also live entertainment and admission can taste and purchase beers (and other al- was free. coholic drinks). Beer festivals are held in To sample beer, you had to purchase a a number of countries around the world. wristband and a sampler glass for $6. The The largest beer festival in the world is wristband could be used all weekend. To the Oktoberfest in Germany. As many of purchase beer, you had to buy beer to- you know, the second largest Oktoberfest kens for $1 each. Whenever you wanted a festival actually takes place in Kitchener- beer, all you had to do was go to a booth, Waterloo in October. Don’t worry, Re- give them a token and then they would fill becca will be there to cover Oktoberfest up your 4oz beer glass. This is a pretty in October, but be sure to buy your tick- sweet deal as it lets you try a ton of differ- ets as soon as you can since they get sold ent beers for cheap! Most of the brewers Crowds at Kitchener Ribfest Angelo Alaimo out very quick! Beer festivals can also be brought along swag and some even had Lake of Bays Red Ale (spicy hops and so no tasting notes), Mill St Stock Ale found all over Ontario in the summer – the coupons and contests. dark, roasty malts), Railway City Iron (very flat and warm so it was really gross; biggest one is the Toronto Festival of Beer We ended up buying 40 tokens on the Spike Blonde Ale (mild hops, sweet fruit we are hoping they will take proper care on August 5th. Unfortunately, due to final Friday night, and due to the long beer lines and grains), and Wellington Special Bitter of their beer next time), F & M Stoneham- exams, we can’t attend this year, but we and a mistake on our part regarding the (sweet malt with a slight hop aftertaste). mer Dark (chocolate roast, hops, choco- encourage anyone who does not have fi- closing time, we only used about half of Rebecca late coffee finish), F & M Stonehammer nals to go investigate (it was amazing last them (in an hour and a half; it was a fun I tasted Flying Monkeys Orangemungus Pilsner (we drank it too briskly to make year!). time), so we decided to go again on Sat- (Cask beer that has a very pronounced or- notes), and Wellington Trailhead (grains Last Friday (and Saturday!), we attend- urday to use the rest! Unfortunately, this ange taste, my first impression was that it with a clean hoppy aftertaste). ed the Downtown Kitchener Ribfest & article had to be sent in before we went tasted like Five Alive mixed with beer. De- The Kitchener Ribfest & Craft Beer Craft Beer Show. It was very busy, and we back on Saturday, but we will be doing a licious), Lake of Bays Pale Ale (slightly Show happens once a year and we strongly spent a while waiting in lines, but it was quick review of what we tasted on Friday sweet malt flavour with medium hop bit- recommend you attend next year – it is a definitely worth it. There were 11 Ontario (yes, we took notes at the festival). We are terness), Railway City Iron Spike Copper perfect place to try a ton of new beer for Craft Brewers in attendance: Amsterdam going to write some brief notes on what Ale (Sweet caramel, fruit, and some va- cheap and in small quantities. This is our Brewing Co., Big Rock Brewery, Brick we tasted separately: nilla and spices), and Wellington Special last article of the term and we hope that Brewing Co., Cameron's Brewing Com- Eric Pale Ale (Malt with spicy hops at the end). on your break, you will try some tasty pany, F&M Brewery, Lake of Bays Brew- I tried Flying Monkeys Netherworld Both summer brews. See you this fall, and as ing Company, Mill Street Brewery, Nickel (coffee and cocoa with a slight fruit taste), Mill St Organic (we chugged this one… always, fear no beer!!! TOPZ (with a Z): Top Ways to Get that Special Someone to Notice You

Jeffrey Dahmer and Anyone who’s written cover letters knows fection looked out the window in despera- tual. However, you can bypass that bump John Wayne Gacy that personalized letters pack much more tion they could see your sympathetic and with the use of Facebook, Photoshop and a 1B Friendship of a punch than generic ones, so be sure quirky face ... Whether Mary Jane Watson little creativity! Start a scrapbook of pic- to not hash out some generic all-purpose or partially nude Elisha Cuthbert, the girl tures you find of her online with yourself With exams looming and sleep depriva- garbage. Go through her garbage, scour (or boy) next door is an oft-romanticized shopped into them. Make sure to think tion setting in, romance is in the air. We her Friendster account, hack into her com- trope that makes even the hardest of hearts of clever and cutesy captions like under know that you’ve had your eye on a certain puter, really pull out all the stops to get to turn to mush. Problem: you don’t live next one of eating ice cream, “I scream, you person, perhaps a dashing young gentle- know all about your cherie amour. Then, door. Solution: set up camp next door in scream...”; you can also quote the lyrics of man or two writing an article in Starbucks to maintain a shroud of mystery (people his bushes! When he notices you peering beloved songs like “Every breath you take, on a Macbook sipping on a very masculine dig that), write the note with cut-out letters into his window and realizes that you’ve every move you make, I’ll be watching you venti non-fat caramel macchiato. But in from magazines and sign it anonymous. always been there, it will be sure to capture <3.” Deliver it to her house and just wait today’s hustly- bustly world, meeting peo- The following is an introductory template his heart and soul! for the romantic reciprocation. ple is no easy task! Ask yourself, when to get you started: “Dear [proper noun], I Scrap-booking: A cute trend that seals Well, there you have it! Simply follow was the last time you went to a box-social saw you [verb] last week. You looked re- any deal is scrapbooking memories to- our guidelines and that lovely lady or gen- and made a real humanoid connection? ally nice in your [noun]; it really brought gether as a couple. When times are rocky, tleman will go from being a crush to being Well, don’t you fret, today we have a list of out your [adjective] [noun].” she can flip through an assortment of pic- crushed (by you (during physical encoun- our top tips to make sure he or she will be Be the Boy or Girl Next Door: He’s tures and silly captions and remember ters)). And remember, one last tip: perse- yours, lickety-split! on the phone with his girlfriend; she’s why she fell head-over heels for you in verance is of the utmost importance, and Love Letters: Since the time of Shake- upset, going on about something that he the first place! Of course, as you’ve thus you can’t spell “restrayning order” without speare, the love letter has been a funda- said, she doesn’t get his humour like you far only been admiring from afar, the pre- “retry” (unless you listen to those cork- mental aspect of the courtship process. do. Oh, if only as the object of your af- cious memories have been dubiously mu- blockers at the dictionary)! Webcomics: Another Distraction For Your Busy Life :D

I first started reading webcomics when (a pregnant nun fighting evil), Evil Diva week. Very few webcomics are financially Rebecca I was introduced to Dr. McNinja – a web- (a high school devil who just wants to be successful, and only some are published Cameron comic about a ninja who is also a doctor. good), and Two Kinds (love and friendship on paper. In January 2007, there were an 4N Geological It was an awesome read, and I was hungry between two enemy races). estimated 38,000 webcomics being pub- for more since I had given up on comics Beware – these webcomics are to my lished. As I just found out while research- when I left high school (too expensive and taste! I encourage you to go out and find ing for this article, the first webcomic was Need a study break? A good way to time consuming). I then found out about some that cater to your interests. For in- released in 1985 on CompuServe, which spend this spare time is reading webcom- xkcd – a webcomic featuring humour stance, if you are a gamer there are many was the first provider for online services ics! Webcomics are (exactly as their name about technology, science, mathematics choices – I highly suggest Penny Arcade, in the U.S. This was before the World suggests) comics published on a website. and relationships. In other words, some- VG Cats, and Brawl in the Family. Many Wide Web even existed! The difference between webcomics and thing most engineering students will find other genres are out there, take the time to So get on out there and take a look at regular print comics is that anyone can pretty entertaining. Now it’s been two explore and find what you like. My sug- yet another form of distraction the inter- write and publish one for cheap. This has years since I first explored webcomics and gestion is to start from the beginning of net has to offer! I can’t guarantee you resulted in a huge array of genres, and al- I religiously follow seven webcomics: Dr. the comic, or at least at the beginning of a will find something you really enjoy right lows a ton of artistic freedom as there is McNinja, xkcd, Red String (life of a Japa- new story arc so that you can have some away, but I can assure you that it will at virtually no censorship (yay for the inter- nese high schooler), Bear Nuts (zoo bears idea of what is going on. Most webcom- least be much more interesting than your net!). with clashing personalities), Sister Claire ics are updated at least once or twice a lectures! The Iron Warrior 16 | Distractions ð wednesday, July 20, 2011 The End is NighThe End is Nigh By Stuart Linley STUART LINLEY 2B NANOTECHNOLOGY

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 ACROSS 52 Finals week? 21 Concentration disor- 1 Costless 59 Altar area der 14 15 16 5 Actress Amy 62 Everybody Loves 22 Shallow reef 10 Soap base Raymond 25 Shipping passage 17 18 19 14 Radiance actress Roberts 26 Rustle, as hair

20 21 22 15 Misrepresent 63 Burn soother 27 Irish dog 16 High-schooler 64 1993 video game hit 28 Most death-like 23 24 25 26 27 17 Crazy go with 65 _ ____ of Two Cities 29 Bodily manifestation 18 Winged ant 66 Not-guilty 30 Face 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 19 Single 67 ____ Murder (2006 31 High-school functions 20 Last thing that pushes AFI song) 32 Core material 35 36 37 38 one over the edge? 68 Type of ray 33 Groening or Damon 23 Thought 69 Had, as power 36 Took to court 39 40 41 24 Tries 37 Vet’s trouble 28 Drivable DOWN 40 Rude 42 43 44 31 It’s a stretch? 1 Hare-like 41 Essay opening quote 34 Digit 2 Book after Judges 47 Compass dir. 45 46 47 35 Budget rival 3 The E in ‘H.O.M.E.S.’ 49 Stalks 36 Whorl 4 First 50 Long leg 48 49 50 51 38 Depression 5 Sully 51 Sailing 39 Final final? 6 Change in 53 It’s ‘made’ in Holland 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 42 Greek ‘H’ 7 Too bad 54 Better than bot B 43 Indignation 8 Catcher 55 Modern Persia 59 60 61 62 63 44 Foundation support 9 Augury giver 56 She, to Yvonne 45 Droop 10 First Canadian female 57 Yule 64 65 66 46 Sums doctor 58 Like zombies 47 Saltpeter, for example 11 Likes cocks 59 Admiral (abbr.) 67 68 69 48 Braid 12 Unagi 60 Taro dish 50 Crooned 13 Either 61 ...---... www.CrosswordWeaver.com

ACROSS Mike 62 everybodythe Lifeguard: loves raymond The 29 Bodily Basics manifestation of Teaching a Lesson actress roberts 30 face By Michael New, 4A Civil 1 costless 63 Burn soother 31 high-school functions 5 actress amy 64 1993 video game hit 32 core material 10 soap base 65 _ ____ of Two cities 33 groening or damon 14 radiance 66 Not-guilty 36 Took to court 15 misrepresent 67 ____ murder (2006 afi song) 37 vet's trouble 16 high-schooler 68 Type of ray 40 rude 17 crazy go with 69 had, as power 41 essay opening quote 18 winged ant 47 compass dir. 19 single DOWN 49 stalks 20 50 long leg 23 Thought 1 hare-like 51 sailing 24 Tries 2 Book after Judges 53 it's 'made' in holland 28 drivable 3 The e in 'h.o.m.e.s.' 54 Better than bot B 31 it's a stretch? 4 first 55 modern persia 34 digit 5 sully 56 she, to yvonne 35 Budget rival 6 change in 57 yule 36 whorl 7 Too bad 58 like zombies 38 depression 8 catcher 59 admiral (abbr.) 39 9 augury giver “What 60 Taro can’t dish duct tape do?” 42 greek 'h' 10 first canadian female doctor 61 ...---... 43 indignation 11 likes cocks

44 foundation support ion 12 Unagi 45 droop 13 either

46 sums t 21 concentration disorder 47 Saltpeter, for example 22 shallow reef

48 Braid Ammar Masud, 2B Nanotechnology 25 shipping passage 50 crooned 26 rustle, as hair 52 27 irish dog “Nothing” “Do my homework or make food” “Cover the entire surface 59 altar area 28 mostDavid death-like Birnbaum, 1B Mechatronics David Hu & Mark Duan, of your boat” 2B Software Kyle Pohl, 2B Mechanical nquisi I

“Get a girlfriend” “I’m speechless” “Birth control”

ron Devin Witherspoon, 2B Software Sucharita Datta, 3A Electrical Michael Seliske, 3A Computer I The