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4-7-1992

Central Florida Future, Vol. 24 No. 55, April 7, 1992

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Recommended Citation "Central Florida Future, Vol. 24 No. 55, April 7, 1992" (1992). Central Florida Future. 1131. https://stars.library.ucf.edu/centralfloridafuture/1131 OPINIONp. 6 COLLAGEp. 9 SPORTSp.16 IRS wants willing and Beacham offers groups Pikes·snare fourth an­ patient taxpayers a new type of 'libretto" nual Greek Gloves title • entra uture Serving The University of Central Florida Since 1968 • SG greets students with unoccupied tables • Senators caught unaware of Student Governm~nt Awareness Fair Wednesday on the green by Sandra Pedicinl on SG as a whole. · STAFF REPORTER "The senate is comprised of very capable and driven indi- UCF students who stopped viduals,"Marlin said. However, • by the green to meet their sena- he said "The senate also had a tors during Student Govern- workshop in the fall that was ment Awareness Week found designedtostresshowtheirroles ,. only empty tables. ~~~~~~~~~ of responsibility Sen. Ana and accountability Bugdadi had pro- "We really do were to be por- moted Wednesday need to take trayed to the stu- • as a day to meet dent body. Today, senators and other responsibility. " I think it's quite representatives of clear that the sen- • SG. Only two sena­ ate was not re­ • Ana Bugdadl tors and some ex­ PROJECT ORGANIZER sponsible nor ac­ ecutive branch . countable to the members were ••••••••• students and present. The executive branch that's unfortunate for the Stu­ members were registering voters dent Government Association as a part of the "SG Out." and also for the students. It just program. didn't come together, and it's an An hour and a half into the embarrassment." • planned program, SG executive Project organizer Ana branch members began bring­ Bugdadi said that Service and , ing tables back inside. Public Relations member Kim "Basically, I was upset to say Berfield was supposed to call the least," education majorTom SG senate members to inform Student Government senators forgot about their "Awareness Week" fair Wednesday. Only Allison said. them to be at the booths but had Brian Handshuh and Chris Riebold were available to register voters. ccharies K. Morr~~tFuTuRE) Allison had hoped to speak a personal emergency and was to education senators about unable to call. notify people ofthe event earlier next couple of months and that she wanted to take the emphasis problems in his college. He Berfield was unavailable for and also should have had a back­ this was a learning experienre. · off Wednesday's fiasco and focus showed up to Thursday's sen­ comment. up person to make sureSGmem­ ''We definitely need to put a on the success of Tuesday night's ate meeting to criticize SG for "We didn't get the message bers showed up. checks program in there so if meeting explaining to club lead­ its apathy. that there .was a problem," "We really do need to take one link of the chain falls out, ers how to lobby for money. SG Public Relations Director Bugdadi said. responsibility," she said. we'll have some.one else in there Bugdadi also said she was • Chris Marlin said that the un­ She admitted thatSPRmem­ Bugdadi said she wants to try to make it up," she said ~ · ''very happy that this mistake fortunate event reflected badly bers should have planned to to host a similar program in the Bugdadi tOld the senate that didn't cost students money." NASA project.puts students in crutches by Jennifer Burgess Tesch developed the experiment from that was painful was [the injection ofJ STAFF REPORTER other experiments that studied the ef­ the anesthetic," Andrea Levine, a legal fects ofprolonged weightlessness on labo­ studies major, said. Six UCF students are participating in ratory rats. Tesch says that the problem Weekes added that the muscle biopsy a five-week NASA experiment to help with these studies is that they use rats as was ''not that bad." determine the effects of prolonged weight­ subjects for the experiments instead of Weekes said that his parents were lessness in space. humans. excited about the experiment at first, but As part of the experiment, the stu­ "Rats are so different from human," that his mother had concerns about dents sacrifice the use of one leg and Tesch said. muscle loss in his leg. walk on crutches. The students are paid Other weightlessness experiments According to Tesch, subjects will lose $1,000. have been done that require total bed 1.0 to 20 percent of the muscle mass in Freshman T. J. Weekes said he de­ rest for the subjects. Tesch said that their unused leg. He said they will prob­ cided to .do the experiment because he requiring total bed retis difficult to carry­ ably regain use of this muscle five to has always been interested in the experi­ out and requires $1 million. seven weeks after the experiment. ments conducted by NASA The experiment with crutches has Tesch said that most of the muscle "It is not really that much work. You been conducted two times previously and deterioration willoccurin thefrontthigh get used to not using one leg," Weekes requi!'es only about $25,000. and calf. He added that NASA will pro­ said after his second week of the experi­ According to Tesch, the experiment vide an exercise tape to help with the ment. Weekes added that the money was is being conducted to determine the rehabilitation process. also a big incentive. effects of weightlessness in space, but Levine said that her arms are getting "The money has its pros and cons"' results from both experiments have stronger. said Per Tesch, a psyiologist from the had clinical application as an aid to "I had no idea how hard it is walking Karolinska Institute in Sweeden. rehabilitation. on crutches," she said. GET IT! He explained that subjects should not Participation in the experiment also Weekes said that when the experi­ do the experiment for the money; they requires the students to receive thr~e ment is over, he is going to, just walk Bryant Jarius, 6, is "a baseball should instead take part to "learn more muscle biopsies. around. I am just going te get on with my fanatic." (a.rt• K. Morrow/FUTURE) about the human body." ''The only part [of the muscle biopsy] life."

CLASSIFIEDS page 8 ~The Enter in The Team or ~ Student Wellness Advocate Team. <( • ~ Prould-ly Presents Individual Catagory! ~ OS • :s s~ ­ ca.. • u=~ JI E--i • FREE t-shirt to first

300 registered • • FREE food donated by KELSEY'S and UCF MeDONALDS • • FREE rame prizes • • Live Musie by • GREGEYMA • • Awards Ceremony • IFIBIEIE to all students • Friday April 10, 6:00 pm

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• April 7, 1992 •The Central Florida Future 3 Not all who walk in ceremony will graduate UCF, explained that many stu­ "The University ofFloridahas graduates, the school having no by Anne Marie Sikes Bush said. Still, others who had CENTRAL FLORIDA FUTURE filed an intent to graduate may dents simply don't take the time chosen a different procedure doubts as to who has, and who have dropped a course or more to visit an academic advisor, when it comes to graduating hasn't, graduated. Ever had thefeelingyou were that were crucial to their choosing to advise themselves seniors," Bush said. Ofthe nine Previous UCF presidents at the wrong place at the wrong planned graduation. Having al­ instead. This, in tum, leads to wliversities in Florida, it is the have not been in favor of this time? readyinformedfamilymembers unexpected surprises come only one that holds final exams procedure, Bush explained. In University Registrar Dr. and the school, Bush believes graduation time. for seniors a week earlier than general, the feeling has been John Bush has calculated that that the_se students follow As an example, Kelly cited a the rest of the students and also thatit wowdonlyadd additional about 15 percent of those stu­ through with the commence­ common misconception among assigns grades first. Bush ex­ work for faculty members. "We dents that walked during the ment to save themselves the students. This is when a stu­ plained that the records oflikely haven't felt that it's necessary," ' commencement ceremonies of embarrassment of disappoint­ dent takes a course twice and graduates are prepared in the added Bush, referring Florida's the spring and fall terms of1991, ing expectant family members. mistakenly adds the credits for school's registrar's office and graduation policy. were faced with the realization These students would simply re­ both toward total credit hours then sent to the applicable col­ Instead, UCF makes sure that they may not have gradu­ turn to school thefollowingsemes­ required to meet graduation re­ leges for further investigation. that a student is within near ated after all. This percentage ter to complete missing credits quirements. "In fact, only one Once each college completes reach of completing graduation is fairly representative of most and would later have their degree does," Kelly said. their records checks, they re­ requirements prior to enabling fall and spring semester cer­ mailed to them just as they are to Bush explained that the uni­ turn their findings to the a student to participate in the emonies, he said. all UCF graduates. versity usually won't know registrar's office, which then ceremonies. Bush explained that of this Bush explained that during whether or not a student has informs students of.their stand­ Since only folders are distrib­ 15 percent, some may have par­ commencement, only folders completed university and col­ ing. Bush added that on the day uted during the UCF ceremo­ ' ticipated in the event knowing with letters from the school are lege requirements until two to of commencement, every office nies, the act of walking in the that they were short on credits, distributed to the students; the four weeks after commencement that deals with graduating stu­ ceremonies does not indicate while some others unknowingly. actual diplomas are mailed out ceremonies. Bush added that dents is open to settle any prob­ that a student has graduated. Another possible cause for the a few weeks later after gradua­ there is not enough time between lems that were discovered dur­ It'sasortof premature "good­ mishap could be attributable .to tion checks are complete. finalexaminationsandcommence­ ing graduation checks. On the bye" to UCF from the students clerical errors or misplaced ex­ Marcy Kelly, administration/ ment day to perform a thorough day of graduation, actual de­ anda"welcome back" from UCF. .. ams or final research papers, registration coordinator for check of all the students. grees are distributed to the Automobile hits ligh~pole by Jennifer Burgess on March 18. STAFF REPORTER He returned to his 1990 Ford Mustang at about 7 p.m. and _ A light pole on North Gemini discovered a three-foot scratch Boulevard was damaged by a on the driver's side of the vehicle last week. car. According to police reports; Police value the damage to the light pole was knocked off the car to be less than $1,000. its base. The pole was found •Acar'swindowwassmashed lying in the median l'!!!!!!!ll~l!J!lll9!!!!~1!!!!!1m- and 30 compact discs near Lake Claire. along with their car- Police suspect that rying case were stolen the vehicle was travel- from a parking lot on ing west on North campus. Gemini because of tire []3{~[7J!]J~[ii J o s e I g·n a c i o marksontheroad.How- - Mendiola, 20, told po- ever, police have no suspects in lice that he parked his car in the accident. the lot near his Polk Hall resi- Damagetothepoleisestimated dence on March 17. at $500. In other police news: Mendiola returned to his •A vehicle was scratched in Nissan 300 ZX and discovered theparkinglotneartheArbore- the passenger side rear win­ CLOWNIN' AROUND tum last week. dow smashed. Nothing else Kim Cox, a member of the Alpha Delta Pi Sorority, kicks off Greek Week by having According to police reports, was missing from the car. Patrick Schoff , 26, parked his The total value of the CD's Greek letters painted on her leg by Jelly Bean the clown Sunday. (Charles K. Morrow1FuruRE) car in the parking lot at 7:15 am and the carrying case is $1,470. • 4 The Central Florida Future • April 7, 1992 Writer shares lmowledge, works Soniat harnesses experience to bring her writing to life by Bill Cushing works from an ongoing ing across a submission, such as - FEATURES EDITOR manusrcript that is tentatively the readers saw in Soniat's en­ titled "A Shared Life." try, "that refreshes and rejuve­ During her visit to UCF on Soniat came to her current nates you." Thursday afternoon, writer profession in a roundabout way. Her works are, by her own Katherine Soniat told Bethany After earning a bachelor's in admission, visual impressions. Bower, a creative writing stu­ history, she took a continuing She attributes this to the fact dent, that in some ways it was education course in writing for that each individual's memory fortunate she didn't initially her own enjoyment. She then holds ''little photographs." pursue an English degree; oth­ returned to school, receiving an "From memory we collect the erwise, she might not have be­ master'sinEnglishfromTulane different images we need to come a writer. University. write," she added. Bower agreed. After all, it is It seems that Soniat took her Soniat' s observations deal the experiences that one brings -own advice. with people, nature, and, in some to writing that makes the work "There is no end to limits," cases, combinations of the two. itself come alive, she said. readsalineinher ~~~~~~~~~ Herworksrunfrom "It [writing] becomes my poem "End of Pa- pictures of the sexy way of remembering where I tient walking "She's a stu"'drv/ • J roadside h ot- d og was," she said during the Area,"thestoryof Southern vendors of "T- course of her hour-long read­ a n backed in Orlando" ing to a crowd of 50 students "escaped" mental woman." to the image in"Ja- and staff. Soniat, originally patient who, it_ nus and Autumn" from , now turns out, was of a hornet's nest • Vanessa Tremel teaches creative writing at Vir­ simply spending hanging precari- ginia Polytechnic Institute. the night aione in UCF STUDENT ously from a set of She was in the area for a day the Virginia ••••••••• powerlines with a of readings - first in a class­ woods. com cob that seems to impale Creative writer Katherine Soniat shares her work with about room of the Education Building "I pursued it because I en­ the nest decoratively. 50 UCF students and faculty Thursday. (Phillip Maatars1FUTURE) and later in the day at the Win­ joyed it immensely," she said. Yet, she also reflects on hu­ ter Park Public Library. Dr. Don Stap, UCF professor man nature as witnessed in "A thoughts. ing. Soniat read primarily from of English and Soniat's intro­ Short History of Stray Bullets," "I think she's an example of a One of the more highly pub­ her second book, "Cracking ducer, is one of the manuscript a poem relating the thoughts of sturdy Southern woman," ob­ lished poets in national periodi­ Eggs," a work published in 1990 readers for the UCF poetry se­ a mother with a son of military served V~essa Tremel, a se­ cals, Soniat is at work on a book under the UCF Contemporary ries. He said that one of the age during wartime and his re­ nior studying creative writing dealing with the Chesapeake Poetry series. She also read pleasuresofthatpositioniscom- action to those maternal who was present for the read- Bay area. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• • •

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Payments includes princip.11, inlcrcsl & MlP above example is based on FHA ARM with caps at 1 & 5 which include a 2-0 buy down.Payments listed ;m for months 1 • 12 and arc based on 4.S'T. APRS.14'1'.. Prices lo change withoul prior notice. • 365-8388 sujcct April 7, 1992 •The Central Florida Future 5 Many area recycling programs ignored by Sandra Pedlclnl planted in it... we've got a problem with Although students started a recycling STAFF REPORTER college students." project in the dormitories in 1990, the Recycling has been hailed as the easi­ program is at a standstill right now. When Orange County recycling coor­ est way to help the environment. But Allison Case, one of the creators of the dinator Jim Becker started recycling statistics from Western Waste indicate project, said it was popular but met with programs in two apartment complexes that only 20,000 pounds of the 225,000 some problems. near UCF, he was excited. pounds of trash and garbage generated "We were having trouble getting volun­ He felt confident that the complexes, each month are recycled. teers to dump the bins on time," she said. which house a large population ofcollege "It shows how much more we need to Ifnot dumped on time, the bins started students, would respond well. After all, recycle," Richard Metzger, UCF superin­ to overflow and the cans caused odors in he thought, college students are on the tendent of grounds and landscaping, said the dormitories. cutting edge, the people with a social "I just don't think we're getting a Also, Case said the master bin in conscience, concerned about the future. whole lot of cooperation with the recy­ which trash from the individual bin was "I was sure that it would be a success," cling program," he continued. ''It takes a dumped often was locked, making it dif­ he said. little work, and anything that takes a ficult for people to dump the trash. Becker was unpleasantly surprised. little work takes some time to sell." Resident assistant Cathy Hanks said The recycling bins yielded a pathetic Students on campus can take advan­ the program was popular but too many amount of material and many ~tudents tage of recycling receptacles for alumi­ people were throwing food and other misused the bins by dumping food and num cans and used copier paper. non-recyclable things into the bins. other non-recyclable items into them. But the receptacles for cans are some­ "It was just laziness," she said. The management of Arbour Village, times sparsely located. In the hallways Case is working on a new proposal for located a mile north of the UCF, had its of Howard Philips Hall, there is only one the project that designates a set person Recycling bins are being cluttered centrally located recycling container aluminum can receptacle on each floor to make sure bins are dumped and to get removed. Fox Hunt Lanes, near the while there are more than 30 throughout the master bin to be open more hours. with trash. (Charles K. Morrow/FUTURE) comer of Alafaya Trail and Colonial the building for regular use. Few of the neighboring apartment IWS representatives said recycling Drive, still has some tenants who use The physical plant also provides boxes complexes that house a large population prograrnc can cost anywhere from $3 to the bins. But most of the bins were in UCFsofficesforaluminumcans,com­ of stiidents have recycling programs. $8 per month for each apartment unit. either discarded, filled with non-recy­ pute~ paper and white paper. Janitors Many managers -0f these complexes say Bob Raggett, operating manager of clable garbage or left completely empty pick up the contents once a week. that they would like to start recycling the Orlan,do division of IWS, said that in driveways where Orange County Superintendent of Building Services programs although the tenants haven't recycling programs cut the amounts of employees had left them. Pat Remsen said that the response has expressed any interest. trash and garbage, therefore eventually When Becker visited the complex been generally favorable although it has_ Kathy Durst, manager of Alafaya cutting the garbage bill. months after the program started, "some tapered off a little. Trail Apartments, said that she checked Becker said that Orange Cour'ity offi­ of the bins were sitting right were they "People get kind of careless," she said. into having a recycling program but cials are considering passing ordinances were dropped off, with the educational Some people have even told her they was turned off by the price charged by makingitmandatoryfor apartment com­ materials still in them,"he said. "Some of are not interested in having the recy­ IWS, the company that. collects the plexes to offer some sort of recycling them were full of airt. One had a tree cling containers in their offices. complex's trash. , within the next year.

Think of the six• women closet to you.

"Because working part-time at UPS ... I don't have to. They have five­ Now guess day schedules that leave your weekends tree. Work morning , noqn , or night hours which one that work around your class schedule. And get paid holidays and vacations. will be raped 'That's plenty of time to study or recharge. And I make plenty too ... this year. almost $10,000 a year for working about 4 hours a day. UPS knows students value time as much as money. CD@®®®

UPS DELIVERS- . . EDUCATID. . . ·N~ ~ ©1990 Rape Treatment. Center, Santa Monica Hospital. The Central Florida Future April 7. 1992 6

SG ~Awareness week' ... reveals Who the fools really were on April 1 Political science." "Jumbo shrimp." "Military intelligence." "Business ethics." ' Readers ' familiar with some of George Carlin's older material will recognize these as some of the comedian's favorite oxymorons. Had Carlin been on UCF's campus last Wednesday, he could have added another: "SG Awareness." That's right, folks. On Wednesday (April Fools Day, fittingly enough), when Student Government held its "Awareness Fair" on the Green beside the Student Center, there were apparently some current mem- . hers of student government who were not aware of the proceedin~ they themselves had set up. Like, all but two. On the appointed day there it was: the awe­ inspiring spectacle of a double row of empty tables lining both sides of the walkway. And down at one corner sat two lone (and probably very lonely) SG reps, manning a voter's registration booth. illusions, pain, lost then found again Ironically, a half-page ad announcing the event that was published the day before had, in bold Eddie Offe1·111ann could hear it laughing at him as it fled away, almost to capital letters, the admonishment, ''BE THERE!" the horizon, almost to its own vanishing point, but never quite out of view. If only the advertisers had followed their own NAMELESS CITY Afew times,"he had tried to ignore it entirely, but advice. _ . dark crow, shiny and black, landed at the edge then it always came closer, dancing and taunting him, We are not sure what the purpose was for the of the hexagonal gazebo, staring from its perch making him anxious for it again. He would grab out at Awareness Fair since details of who would be A atop the short wall. It gazed at a very solemn it, furiously, screaming, sometimes convincing himself present, what services were being offered and man. The man was young but some aspect of his that he had caught it until at last he saw it fly away and what its contribution would ultimately be to stu­ demeanor suggested a person more advanced in years. could no fonger grasp the illusion. What was lost is now dent concerns, were very conveniently left out of He thought back to the moment before he had seen the gone forever. thead . crow and he became lost in deep meditation. Taking a knife from his pocket, the man began to However, if the idea was to show the UCF Ridges under fingers, wooden notches and worn carve into the ancient wood, cutting out straight edges, weathered and beaten. Then, somehow every­ student body how much its student government lines and furrows, meandering curves and deep thing was different. The crow was gone, the old boards gouges. His hands blistered on the hands of the cared for its concerns, one would assume that the were newer, more white and smooth. His fingers traced knife, but he gritted his teeth and continued. Blow day's e'vent was a stunning success. the soft surface, drifting along the gentle curves, cover­ after blow struck the wood, each knife gash chipping The message was certainly loud and clear ing the ends with his palms and feeling the coolness away from the wooden floor until at last the etching One of the complaints newspapers constantly there grow warm with his heat. He sat very still and felt was finished, a deep, inset wood carving, ornately receive from members of government-student or the sensation fill his body. .decorated and framing a wooden banner. otherwise - is how much publications go out of Then it was gone, and he was old ·again. The boards The man sat back and across his face slid a look just their way to make political figures look bad. A were worn once again, the crow had returned to peck at short of a smile. Something inside him grew old, and quick glance at what occurred on Wednesday proves him. Every time the dream faded, the man wanted to something in that age gave him wisdom. Something that there is not much effort required in this weep and this time his eyes grew shiny and moist. inside him gave up the ghost and died as the man rose Inside, he cried for what he had lost anq he.continued activity. from his seat in the gazebo and walked slowly into the to watch it out of the comer of his eye. dimming twilight. So, not only does UCF's SG spend your activity Every once in a while, the ageless man would see the As the last orange light of the sun threw its long fees to make itself look good (witness the birth of thing he had lost make a tiny movement. A twitch, shadows across the floor, the dark raven landed and "Pegasus"), bu~ now, apparently, its members are perhaps, a bursting uprlght or.a falling to the ground, pecked at the letters in the wood. "There are two spending money to make theinselves look foolish. some tiny indication of life would work the features of things y01~ can give that will always return to you in However, not everyone in this incident is com­ the lost thing, but just at the moment when his hands full measure. The first one is love, the sec.and one is pletely blameless after all is said and done. We feel would reach out to take it and a smile would be working pain," and the raven turned his head and flew into we have to apologize as well. its way back across his lips, the thing would retreat the distance, out beyond the horizon, beyond its own On March 31, The Central Florida Future pub­ from him again. Sometimes, the man was certain he vanishing point. lished its annual April Fools issue. On page three of that parody, we published an ad concerning the "Stupid Gooberment Clueless Week" as a takeoffof A note about the softball game SG'sownad. And-again, ironically enough-in that issue, we referred to a Wednesday "Clueless Fair" as part of the event. We apologize for anyone who might have taken that ad seriously. Wehadnoideahowtrue thatadvertisingparody would eventually become.

News Editor Rebecca Falcon central Florida Future Distribution Manager Scott Beaman Sports Editor Jamie Johnson c 11192 lha Conni Aonaa Fuuw Classifieds Manager Catherine Comia Opinion Editor Jocelyn Jepson P.O. Box 25000, Orlando, Florida 32816 Advertising Manager Vic Kirazian Confetti/Collage Editor Bill Cushing Business Office (407) 823-2601, News Office (407) 823-NEWS Ad Production Lori Reynolds Copy Editor J.C. Smith Editor In Chief Advertising Staff: Lauren Harris, Refik Fortner, Photo Editor Charles K. Morrow Jamie Carte Armand Cimaroli Art Director Brian M. Wente Managing Editor Business Manager Staff Members: Josiah Baker, JennWer Burgess, Patrick Ci.npbel, Mchael Production & Network Manager Shayne A. Strickland Heidi Steiner Thomas Negron DeHoog, Jenny Duncanson. Thom Hart. Jason Lesko, David ~.Savannan Miller, Robert Offermann, Sandra Pedicini, Jennifer Schutte, David J. Shoulberg Opinions expressed in The Central Florida Future are those of the newspaper or individual columnist and not necessarily those of the Boarct of Publications. University Administration. or Board of Regents Letters to the Editor must be typed. maxunurn of 300 words and include the author's signature. major and phone number Letters are subject to editing for grammar and space and become the property of the newspaper, subject to their pub~cation The Central Florida Future is a free , non-profrt newspaper published twice weekly during the academic year and weekly during the summer All meetings of the BOP are open to the public April 7, 1992 • The Central Florida Future 7 Ancient democrats light camels, wear donkey condoms

define conservatism and the Republicans. framework for Christianity. This, of course, comes as Ed.Bowes Five thousand years ago, aRepublican Moses said to the no surprise, for this is where conservatism still roots EXTRAPOLATE HO children oflsrael, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses some of its beliefs. and camels, and I WILL lead you to the Promised Land." ·And speaking of conservatism, the greatest Repub­ ow many of you out there know (or have Nearly 5000 years later, Franklin D Roosevelt (the lican of he 20th century thus far, can not be left out­ knowledge of) the true history of our beloved greatest Democrat of the 20th century) said, "Lay down Ronnie Reagan. Ifconservatism could ever be personi­ H political ? your shovels, sit on your asses, light up a camel, this is fied, it would have to be through the being of Ronaldus Not just the history of the Democrats and Republi­ the promised Land." Magnus. Yes, we are quite fortunate to still have the cans over the past 100 years, but the history of these However, Roosevelt was only the greatest Democrat of giant with us today. two forces spanning a few millennia. the 20th century, not of the entire hisooryofhis world The Actually, it probably won't make much difference know­ Our beloved Democratic and Republican parties greatest Democrat ever was Christopher Columbus. He is ing the history of these two parties when voting this fall. It have long dominated the political arena in Western by far the greatest Dem(>Cl'at of them all He left not , will just be you, the elephant and the donkey. Speaking of Civilization. For centuries now, these two political knowing where he was going, and upon arriving did not which, how in God's name did the donkey ever become the machines have embraced and bolstered many particu­ know where he was. He returned not knowing where he mascot/emblem of the Democratic ? t should have lar ideas, policies and characters that have undoubt­ had been and did it all on borrowed money. never been the donkey~ It should be a condom. edly configured the annuls ofhistory. It has to be admitted that Christopher Columbus, Ifl was chairperson of the Democratic Party, I would It all began thousands of years ago with the Demo­ that crazy Italian savant from Spain, did a lot for make all attempts to scrap the donkey and take up the crats. Where they came from, nobody is fo.r sure. For humanity. He sort of cracked the cosmic egg laid by the condom as the official emblem. some reason they seem to have always been around greatest Republican in history, Jesus Christ. Why? (and will probably continue to be). Perhaps by natural Jesus always had a lot of potential. Being a Jew and It stands for inflation, protects a bunch of pricks, default, they descended from Limbo, to provide human­ all, it was always presumed he would crusade for civil decreases production and above all, gives a false sense ity a repository for protest votes. liberties and the sort. He did somewhat. This lead to the of security while one is being screwed. At any rate, political fury didn't get cookin' until the first belief that Jesus would have created something of a At any rate and in any case, please remember to vote this true Republican came on the scene. This was Moses. Moses prequel to the ACLU. But 2000 years ago, Jesus blos­ fall. RegiStration is easy. Wat.ch your candidates carefully. set forth the courage, attitude and drive that would forever somed as a Republican, took the high road and laid the And again, don't be a BONEHEAD-remember to vote.

R~ K. S.

IRS wants to know why taxpayers are not compliant DaveBany Q. If I use the standard 1040 tax form, how do I indicate my preference regarding the Elvis stamp? TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES A You simply write 'THIN ELVIS" or "FAT ELVIS" in the box labeled "Spouses Social Security Number." pril 15 is almost here, and as a public service Q. What is a good amount to pretend that I gave to we have once again assembled a distinguished charity? Apanel of leading consumer financial advisers A Many taxpayers have obtained excellent results from around the nation to answer your common tax with "$2,379.52." questions. Unfortunately they one again got into the Q. I am a joint taxpayer filing sir~gly with three gin at the hotel hospitality suite and were arrested in dependents living separately but calling all the time. the lobby fountain wearing only a thin film of avocado In 1991 my gross exclusionary non-reimbursed net dip. So once again we are going to answer your common taxable income was $26,365. 47, with an adjusted tax questions ourselves. excess itemized disqualifying redemption of But first we have word of an important new initia­ $3,109.23, but I don't have any questions because I tive by the Internal Revenue Service (offici.al motto: mailed in my tax return on Jan. 3 and already got my "See Schedule 936850345-D For Official Motto"). We refund nyah nyah nyah. found out about this from a newsletter sent out by A We hope you develop a kidney stone the size of Donald Mitgang, director of the Buffalo, N.Y., IRS Richard Simmons. district. A copy was mailed to us by alert reader and Q. In reviewing my tax records for 1991, I find that Certified Public Accountant Suzanna Pfister, to whom they consist of a cardboard box filled with cash-register we say: Thanks, and be prepared to spend the rest of possible cause, and we are wondering if - this is receipts that are impossible to read because apparently your life undergoing tax audits so· thorough that you going to sound farfetched - maybe it has something nobody in the United States had ever replaced a cash­ will be required to produce your individual toenail tO do with the fact that the tax code is larger than the registerribbon. So now rm tryingtodo my taxes and it's clippings from as far back as 1967. average taxpayer's home and nobody in the entire 1 :30 a.m. and I have IRS forms all over the kitchen table According to Director Mitgang's newsletter, the IRS world really understands it because it was appar­ snarling at me and demanding to know things like do initiative is called "Compliance 2000." ently written by hostile mutant non-English-speak­ I have any capital gain distributions not reported on "To put it in a nutshell," he states, "it is a new ing lawyers from space, plus it is revised about every line 12, and all I have to refresh my memory is 500 little philosophical approach toward compliance. We hope it 25 minutes, plus it is used to take taxpayers' money pieces of curled-up paper, each of which has maybe four will result in a more compliant taxpayer." away and turn it over to a federal government that ink molecules on it, and the only financial information We love the sound of that: "... result in a' more routinely spends it on activities like declaring Na­ I can obtain from them, using a powerful magnifying compliant taxpayer." It sounds as though they're devel­ tional Deviled Ham Awareness Month. glass, is: Is the commissioner of Internal Revenue still oping a new strain of goat. Nah, that couldn't be it. It's probably some kind of named "Fred?" Director Mitgang explains that the goal of the chemical disorder in the taxpayers' brain. A Yes, and Fred ha8 a nice letter in the Form 1040 Compliance 2000 initiative is "to determine why Anyway, until the IRS is able to develop an improved instruction booklet in which he states that the IRS is taxpayers are not complying and what we need to do taxpayer, possibly through a combination of genetic "testing exciting new approaches by letting certain to make them compliant." engineering and electric fences, you should try to be as taxpayers file by telephone and by doing the math for Whoa! THERE'S a real mystery! Why aren't tax­ compliant as possible. You can start by studying the taxpayers who ask for our help." payers complying with the tax code? Hmmmmm. We answers to these: Q. rm going to call him right now. . .. ., . , ,\ rl--.lT.l--11'~-'4---4!------The Central Florida Future Classified April 7, 1992 8

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Visit your campus Collect btwri 8 & 9am.Mark this year, especially these past few on 436 across from Hooters. $425. 305- enue for Education. More info: Call SGA representative near the Student Center weeks, will soon pay off. We're ready to 895-1746 Collect. at 823-2191. April 7th, 8th, for free budget travel Hey you, conquer Chicago! Good luck at Nat'I guide. My Schwing Went Schwang because Convention Ml! Beautiful ·2B-2B Duplex located near RPS needs PIT Package Handlers from of you! -Ed mon Dean Rd & 436 Close to shopping & 3-?am $7 per hr Call 297-3715 Financial Aid/Scholarship, Service guar­ To the guy who always sits on his lazy SIGMA ALPHA EPSILON Restaurants & easy access to E/W must see! Don't miss out on this one! $400.00 antee since 1975, for infos and applica­ chair enjoying the sun: Just thought 3 day till the Biggest Party of the Spring- CANVESSURS & APPOINTMENT per month &300.00 deposit tion, call: 407-767-4505 one should be for you. Guess who? 8ULLFROGI See Brian Ellis for tickets SETTERS Needed for Home Improvement Com­ for the formal Sat. Softball & Hockey 212 apt across from UCF. W/D, fans, Looking for a scholC!rship? Call 1-800- Remember: The World is a beautiful pany. No Experience Necessary, We chalks up move wins. Pledges-Get those dishwasher, c/h/a. $450. 365-7532. 926-4343. We can help. place when viewed through the bottom ( Will Train, Top Pay & Bonuses. Call of a beer bottle. -JC Sigs, «l>A. Mr. Kelly· 273-2751.

And graduation ( was just two weeks away..

We've all. he,ard it a. million times: Don't drink and drive. But sadly, the statistics show each week that some people d1dn t hear 1t at all. And now they won't hear music or lectures or laughter, or anything else. Ever. That's ~hy Yellow Cab is sponsoring the "Safe Ride Home" program. As a member, you'll receive a special ~ate Ride Home card. If you've had too much to drink, or a friend has-or you find yourself in any dangerous

card to the Yellow Cab driver when he arrives. College life means you've got a lot to look forward to. Don't let drunk driving shatter your plans. the local scene G

Orlandos Beacham location for 'battle of the bands' by Dan Fuller ight bands fought for a 24-hour block of recording time and a music video Thursday at Liberetto, a battle of the bands Eat the Beachan Theatre;playing four original songs. The eight bands that com- Lyme had that "alternative" tars. The band's songs featured peted were The Same, The metal sound down, that same vocal harmonies and ethereal Reign, Three Penny · Opera, sound that has become qtiite noise-guitar parts giving it a F.R.E.D., Lyme, Black Cats boring in recent memory. sound very reminiscent of AndBottleRockets,Ghostbeat However, Lyme was quite Swervedriver. and Shock Lizard. tight and well rehearsed, ''Tight" and "together" are The show was sponsored by maybe too rehearsed. The oth- words that I heard during the S. R. productions and was con- erwise bored singer started to evening to describe this band ceived in order to promote more throw and kick his microphone as it delivered a very strong awareness of what is currently stand around, apparently this set to the crowd. available on the Orlando alter- action was an attempt to shock The Same, one of Orlando's native music scene. the audience. most popular bands, plays Naiomi's Hair played a spe- I was pleasantly surprised happy-go-lucky alternative cialguestsetandwasnotjudged. to hear F.R.E.D. F.R.E.D. rock and, although I am gener- The show started promptly plays fun, arty punk rock. ally not into the lighter side of at 7 p.m. with The Reign. In Its lead singer had a clown the alternative spectrum, this fact, it started so promptly that suit on and then proceeded, as was really·fun stuff. I missed The Reign's set. the songs progressed from one Black Cats and Bottle Rock- · By 7:18, the stage crew was otthenext, totakeoffhismany ets took the stage as the final F.R.E.D.'s lead singer clowns around during the group's already setting up for the next layers of boxer shorts. band to be judged. band on the docket. F.R.E.D. finished their set It played a hard, funky Offering at Libretto. (Richard Prusan) Attendance was sparse at off by throwing shredded pa- sounding kind of music. The tion, but I was pleased with bad at all considering this was this point, and the people with per around the stage, some- crowd really got into what the the overall results. S.R. Productions' first show. press passes probably outnum- thing the Beacham staff did Black Cats did and the band In the end, Shock Lizard The sound people did a good bered paying customers. not care for too much. welcomed that. took the award, winning the job of working around the cav­ After some disagreement Next up was Three Penny BlackCatsAndBottleRock- 24-hour block ofrecordingtime· ernous reverb quality o( the over a missing microphone Opera, a band whose members ets were quite tight in its play­ from Signature Sound as well Beacham Theater. from The Reign's set, Lyme justmovedherefromtheNorth ing, even though this ­ as a music video to be directed The only friction seemed to took the stage at 7 :35. Florida area a few months ago, punk thing would seem to have by Barry Nadler of S.R. Pro­ be between the Beacham staff Featuring former members only to have all their eqillp- been beaten into the ground. ductions. and S.R. Productions. of Craven A and Rose Shad- ment stolen. The Reign was brought back The· show's first runner-up There seemed to be almost a ows, Lyme had a definite metal . Three Penny Opera started on for another set partly be­ ·was Three Penny Opera, fol­ goal to get the show over as influence, sounding a bit like out with a fast, grungy song cause some filler was needed lowed by second runner-up soon as possible, and a lot of Alice In Chains. featuring thick, distorted gui- and partly because the _stage Black Cats and Bottle Rock­ the bands seemed rushed·. crew was having PA problems ets, and The Same was the For the five bucks to get in, during The Reign's first set. third runner-up. there were a lot ofbands to see. The Reign was the only band The show ran fairly At the same time, the atten­ to have a keyboardist, but that smoothly, with the attendance dance helped support the local fact was really hard to tell be­ around 400 by midniglit; not music scene. cause it was buried somewhere in the mix. The band did seem to have their material down, though. It would be nice to say The Reign ·was influenced by the · Manchester sound, but.it was really hard to tell at this point; listening fatigue had set in. Naiomi's Hair took the stage at around 11 p.m., al­ most two hours ahead of sched­ ule, and played wliile the judges made their decisions. The band sounded as strong as usual, except when, between songs, the members said some­ thing to the effect that the bands there tonight really were not competing against each other because they all are part of the same scene. · Yeah, right! Tell that to some unidenti­ fied band members who were overheard in the badmouthing anyone with any.: thing to do with the show. What compassion. So, who won? Who should The bassist for local band F.R.E.D. looks ready for a have won is probably the ques- F.R.E.D.'s guitarist struts his stuff during the show held visit to the beach rather than the Beacham.

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c April 7, 1992 •The Central Florida Future 13 UCF Rugby Club destroys state champ F1orlda Gatom by Jenny Duncanson to put the Knights within scoring range a couple of with his hat trick and gives credit to the support of the STAFF REPORTER times and finally John Hennebery pushed into the try entire team. zone and put the first points on the board. Matt "The whole team seemed so motivated and it kept me A king has been dethroned. A champion has fallen. A Sherbondy put the conversion kick through the up­ going," Hennebery said. battle has been fought and the Knights were victorious. rights and UCF led 6-0. The last two regular games and the scrimmage The UCF Rugby team took on last year's Collegiate Florida retaliated and made a try but could not make between these two teams have resulted in victories for State Champions and claimed victory, 19-4. · the conversion kick and UCF retained the lead, 6-4. the Gators. UCF club president Frank Diadone said the The UniversityofFloridaRugbyTeam positioned them­ The Knights had one more scoring attempt but could team was not going to let the Gators win again, and the selves as UCFs arch rival last year, giving the Knights the not split the uprights. The half ended with UCF up by team changed strategies in order to win. team's only collegiate loss in 1991. The Gators made two points. "We changed our style of play," Diadone said. "We matters worse by stopping the Knights from winning the The second half was all UCF and, although it was wouldn't let them kick the ball, and they got frus- State Championships two years in a row. essentially a total team effort, all the scoring came trated." · So after a 6-6 tie in a scrimmage against the Iron from two people, Hennebery and Rob Gingell. Gingell A second game was played between the b-side teams Horse Men's club, UCF was ready to take on the booted a penalty kick and a conversion kick and and UCFs Killer Bs came up victorious, 13-9. University of Florida and reclaim the bragging rights. Hennebery scored two more trys to make the final UCF has only one more game, against Florida The beginning of the game did not look good for the score 19-4. International University, before the summer break. Knights. The Gators came out strong and the first Hennebery is a senior transfer who is playing in his If UCF wins the game they will be ranked number scoring attempt for UCF resulted in a missed kick. first season for UCF and has already secured a starting one in the state when school and the season resumes Andy Rendell came up with some big plays for UCF position on the back line. Henneb~ry was surprised in the fall.

Two-on-two Toumament Postponed Injured player begins road to recovery after rugby accident by Jenny Duncanson be close to his mother. rlay anymore," Smith said. "But STAFF REPORTER The move had to be delayed it was just an accident. I try not due to a respiratory infection, to think about it." Spring has always been a time but Miller was in Atlanta by the The team did think about it for new beginnings. For Todd end of November. two weeks ago and some of the Miller and the UCF Rugby chili, The team raised money to help team members went to see those beginnings are not easy. with themedicalbillsasdidMiller's Miller in Atlanta. .--- In thefallof1991, Todd Miller Fraternity, Lambda Chi Alpha, Miller is slowly but steadily suffered ·an accident in a rugby and other rugby teams through­ regaining use of his arms. He ~ ** FREE SEMINAR ** game that has left him in a out Florida and Georgia battled another infection and is wheel chair. Ken Smith, who starts in the workirig on building up strength Law- School The initial diagnosis sug- position Miller played, said the in his wrists. This will be a big step , gested paralysis from the neck team had difficulty adjusting Af­ because it will allow Miller the Adtnission down. But due to the nature of ter the .accident. Yearly, rugby ability to get around by himself. the accident, the extent of the teams world-wide have reported Frank Diadone said Miller WHEN: Thurs., March 26 and Tues., April 7 at 7:00 pm damage was unknown. Doctors only three accidents of this sevflr­ was in great spirits when the WHERE: Holiday Inn UCF, 12125 High Tech Ave. said Miller might never get bet­ ity. That statistic made Miller's team went to visit and everyone ter, but he may fully .recover. accident seem unbelievable. is expecting the best. TOPICS INCLUDE: • When and Where to Apply The open-ended diagnosis "At first we had problems," "Anythingispossible,"Diadone ·Admissions Criteri!l of Top Programs shocked the team but gave Smith, said. "But I think it said. "Miller has accepted the fact • How to Make Letters of Recommendation Stand Out them hope. · brought us together and made that he may never walk again, but • What Schools Look For in Your Personal Statement Miller underwent several op­ us a better team. It was some­ he is trying and determined." • How to Explain Bad Grades erations successfully, butt.he hard­ thing we had to go through to­ Miller will be ready to come • How to be Ready for the LSAT Exam est part would be the recovery. gether and it made us a unit." out of the hospital soon and MillerremainedintheOrlando Smith said the accident had hopes to return to school; he was CALL 1-800-777-EXAM Regional Medical Center until he a profound affect on him and . onlyafewcreditsshortofgradu­ to reserve your seat NOW! was healthy enough to make a his decision to continue to play ating. Miller also wants to begin move to Shepards Spinal Center the position. on the racing circuit, one that is inAtlanta,Qeorgia, whereheoould "I wasn't sure I wanted to growing large in Florida.

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SUNDAY HAPPY HOURS 95 $2.00 IMPORTS 4:30 - 7:00 Reg $369 25ct OYSTERS 10:00 - 12:00 95 MONDAY 2 For I Drafts Sale $299 $1.00 DRAFfS 2 For I House Wi nc 2 FOR I \\IINGS Double Cocktails .~~!~~-!:.!~~~,, TUESDAY LIVI! 215-J!J71i 4311-4484 LADIES NITE ENTERTAINMENT $1.00 COCKTAILS WEDNESDAY Thru Open 7 days. 7:00 - 10:00 SUNDAY MCNisa/Discover/Amex *Sale Limited to in-stock bikes only 14 The Central Florida Future • April 7, 1992 ' SG cheats, defeats Futme GLOVES FROM PAGE 16 by Chris Marlin baseman Tom Leek (Director of WgislativeAffairs), who took time on me, so I wanted to stay low and Following its seoond week of during the game to comment on get inside on him andhithim with ,.;~~ ~;;;;;~;~::;~ ~;;;,~~: . . .. . " activisminthe"SGOutdoors"pro­ the composureoftheFutureteam, upper cuts. I also had to counter .,.•. ts:.. , gram, an effort to bring Student 'Tll give ya one word ... you name punch. Joey's got real good power, :i: .~;gf Wilt Cham be r lain mad e 28 . Govemmentclosertothe students the movie ... S-Q-U-E-E-E-L," he I respect him a lot." of UCF, SG members faced-off shreiked Deliverance, a tale of OnhandwasGunder'smother, Ill 9scott Skiles handed out 30 assists. against the staff of the Future on backwoods, backward, inbred, whodescribedhernervousnessas !l! .Wilt Chamberlain had 55 rebounds. the softhall field Saturday. · sexually deviant hillbillies, was "a combination ofgiving birth and !!! Kenon made 11 steals. SGwon 29-17, according to the the movie ofwhich he spoke. having perfect sex." .Larry

Future; 33-17 according to SG. Leek is originator of SG's Thenexttwofightsweret.ainted JJJ .Elmore Smith had 17hlocked shots. 'They'd[theFuture]been prac­ "Project Outreach," a program with controversy as SX's Zieke :•: ...... ticing for months; we expected designed to bring UCF students Zucaro and SPE's Dave Havlicek more, butyet again the Future fell and higher education issues to scored split decision victories over short of expectations of quality," area high · schools. Project' Out­ LXA'sJohn GraulandPSE'sR.oss said Student Body ~sident Ja­ reach serves a dual purpose of Bitterling, respectively. Answers from Tuesday son DiBona. ' recruiting and information dis­ Bothfightswereextremelywell DiBonalaterclarifiedhisstate­ semination, among other things, fought and seemed that they Ronn Philly of PKA came The swayed back and forth mentin sayingthe Future typifies all in an effort to get high school could've gone either way. out as the victor against Jim and Conto and Pecko each took cont1mtfoundin mostsupnnarket stUdents involved and active. Un­ The heavyweight division Sevick of PSE, setting up a ttirns being the aggressor. tabloids, using the word ~ost" der the direction Of its director, began with LXA's Gary Marlar, dramatic matchup between Pecko simply had too much because, he says, "Even the Holly Burwood, Project Outreach a last minute replacement for Bob Pecko of PKA and Scott stuff for Conto in the third EnquirerandWeeklyWorldNews · is creating a greater awareness fo Jon Melzer, taking on Bill Ster­ Conto ofSX, of which the win­ round when he emerged victo­ are more factual, error-free and UCF and all it has to offer to the ling of ATO. Sterling scored a ner would take home the tro­ rious and subsequently gave believable than the Future. Orlando community. unanimous decision. phy for his fraternity. PK.A's the championship. The fired-up SG Warn was led. The game's MVP was SG At­ by Judicial Advisor JeffMeadows torney General Bob R Cherry for at the plate and Vehicle Manager risking his life in the line of duty, KeithMulkay(pitcller) on thefield in executing a heroic dive denying Both Meadows and Mu1kay the Future ofa sure home-run. admitted the only thing that SG, who never practiced a kept the one-sided game inter­ day for the event, was repre­ esting was EditorJamie Carte. sented by senators and execu­ Carte never took the field; in­ tives alike, all coming together stead, she opted for a position on for the common cause of show­ the Future's bench as a "side­ ing the students -of UCF that show freak extroadinaire." service and the spirit of enhanc­ When Fau1knersaid that, "Life ing student life always over­ is at.ale told by an idiot... ,"he was comes the pettiness and selfish­ talking about Carte. ness of disgruntled reporters. Grune highlights included a Editor's note: By the way, particularly fine fielding perfor­ Chris, Faulkner .was quoting mance by just-engaged second- Shakespeare.

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(904) 794-5101 April 7, 1992 •The Central Florida Future 15 Glenn Cunningham... a legend you never heard about

champion in every sense of the word; a champion in tic effect as young Glenn's damaged leg muscles soon Dave Meadows character, as well as competition, from the days of began to redevelop and his charred skin, though notice­ OUT OF BOUNDS his youth until long after his retirement from com­ ably scarred, started to heal. petitive foot racing. Within less than two years following his terrible ome people were born to be champions; others Cunningham's success in his chosen sport may accident, Glenn gradually began walking again. You have to work long and hard in order to make it well havebeen a credit to his intestinal fortitude; but can bet that he walked very slowly at first; but he soon S to the top of the heap and stay there. the fact that he could even walk at all was nothing began to pick up speed. Then he picked up even more Glenn Cunningham, a man of whom I'm sure most short of a miracle. speed. And more and more speed. ofyou have probably never heard, was a tnie champion As a youngster, Cunningham received his educa­ Glenn hadn't felt the wind in his face since that cold, in every sense of the word., Cunningham was a track tion in a small, one-room schoolhouse. He and his tragic morning that he and Floyd had last raced to the and field specialist during the late 1930s and early'40s, older brother, Floyd, would get up early every morn­ small, one-room schoolhouse. during which time he was a dominant miler. ing during the winter months and race to the school­ Though Floyd was no longer around to spur him on, • Although he once held the world record in the mile house to light the kerosene stove before the other Glenn still liked to run; and run he did. run, Cunningham never ran a sub-four-minute mile children arrived. Cunningham may not have been as swift afoot as the himself; his best time, if my memory serves me cor­ One cold morning as Floyd was refueling the athletes of the '90s, but his heart was every bit as big­ rectly, was 4:04. He did predict, however, that the four­ stove, the kerosene ignited and the stove exploded; if not bigger. minute barrier would someday fall. Everyone laughed. the schoolhouse caught fire as a result of the acci­ Following his retirement from sports, Cunningham Cunningham's best time in the mile probably dent. Floyd perished in the blaze and Glenn's legs and his wife owned and operated a Texas youth ranch would not even place him in the top 1,000 among were severely burned. where runaways, troubled teenagers and youth-at-risk contemporary milers; if, 'in fact, Cunningham were So badly charred were his flesh and muscles that the were -taken in, taught self-respect, respect for their to compete against today's fleeter, swifter athletes, attending physicians said that Glenn would probably fellow human beings and how to live a better way oflife. he would most likely finish some 20 seconds back of never walk again; at best, they said, he would be The Cunninghams taught youngsters, who had seem­ the first-place contestant. crippled for the rest of°his natural life. ingly nothing going for them, how to be champions in Sure, you say, Cunningham may have been a cham­ The doctors, however, had underestimated Glenn the game of life. • pion in his day; but that was more than a generation Cunningham. Glenn Cunningham was a champion's champion; ago. Compared to the likes of Carl Lewis or any other Unable to walk, young Glenn was confined to his bed not only in the mile race, but in the human race as well. runner of our generation, he would be as slow as where he spent the ensuing months in painful recovery. Oh yes, one more thought. In May of 1954, Roger molasses flowing uphill in January. Why make such a His sympathetic parents would constantly massage his Bannister of Great Britain ran the mile in 3:59.4, thus big deal about him now? crippled legs in an effort to alleviate his pain. fulfilling Cunningham's prophecy concerning the four­ Let n,.e repeat that Glenn Cunningham was a true Those massages, though, proved to have a therapeu- minute barrier. No one laughed.

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_ TRIVIA ANSWERS page 14