52 Things Kids Need from a Mom. What Mothers Can
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HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS EUGENE, OREGON Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org) Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Cover photo © iStockphoto / Thinkstock Cover design by Koechel Peterson & Associates, Inc., Minneapolis, Minnesota Published in association with BrandWaves LLC, Brentwood, TN 37027. www.brandwavesllc.com 52 THINGS KIDS NEED FROM A MOM Copyright © 2011 by Angela Thomas Published by Harvest House Publishers Eugene, Oregon 97402 www.harvesthousepublishers.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Thomas, Angela 52 things kids need from a mom / Angela Thomas. p. cm. ISBN 978-0-7369-4391-8 (pbk.) ISBN 978-0-7369-4392-5 (eBook) 1. Mother and child—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title. BV4529.18.T449 2011 248.8'431—dc22 2011014612 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 VP-SK 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 For Taylor, Grayson, William, and AnnaGrace. More than all these things, I give you my love. I will adore you forever and ever. Mom Acknowledgments A very special thanks to my husband, Scott Pharr. Because you are by my side, loving these beautiful children with me, I am learning more about what it means to be their mom. You have given strength and stability to our home. You make every day fun and set the tone of our home with your consistent good attitude and humor. Your selfless spirit and compassionate heart challenge me to become more like you. Because you lead us with godliness, I too want to keep growing, taking every next step toward greater maturity in Christ. The children and I love you deeply. So much of this book, I have learned from you. Thank you to LaRae Weikert for thinking of me to write this book. What a privilege to partner with Harvest House for this message! Thank you to Bob Hawkins and Terry Glaspey for your encouragement and work alongside me. And mostly, to my Savior, Jesus. You have carried this broken mom. Healed my broken kids. Restored my broken home. Mended my broken heart. If I could only give one thing to my kids, it would be You. Thank You for everlasting love. Contents Acknowledgments From Angela Kids Need Their Mom… 1. To Pray in Secret with the Door Open 2. To Never Stop Touching Them 3. To Hang Hearts of Love over Their Lives 4. To Watch Them Go Out of Sight 5. To Keep a Date Night with Dad 6. To Make Them Sit Around the Table…and Linger 7. To Let Her Yes Be Yes and Her No Be No 8. To Be Delayed, Rerouted, and Canceled with Poise 9. To Make Them Wait to Take a Bite 10. To Take Christmas to People Who Have Nothing 11. To Miss a Few Things They Do Wrong 12. To Put Down the Phone 13. To Learn Their Unique Love Language 14. To Occasionally Be a Supermom 15. To Turn Their Beds Down at Night 16. To Ride a Roller Coaster…for the First Time 17. To Talk to Them like They Are Fascinating 18. To Treat Their Friends like Family 19. To Cheer Wildly from the Stands 20. To Give Grace-Filled Consequences 21. To Be a Passionate, Alive, Spiritual Lover of God 22. To Indulge Their Silly 23. To Have a Hallelujah Party 24. To Keep a Family Blog 25. To Become Physically and Emotionally Healthy 26. To Become Spiritually Healthy 27. To Believe They Will Not Grunt Forever 28. To Make a Big Deal Out of God 29. To Keep Her Promise 30. To Wait on Them Hand and Foot…When They Are Sick 31. To Tell Them to Buy Another Token and Keep Swinging 32. To Pray Them Home and for the Will of God 33. To Be a “Groovy” Mom 34. To Teach Them How to Know the Voice of God 35. To Believe in Their Strengths and Speak Life into Their Gifts 36. To Make a Home Where Grace Lives 37. To Throw Down the “MOM Card” 38. To Tell Them What She’d Do Differently 39. To Make a Big Deal Out of Grandparents and Extended Family 40. To Teach Them How to Keep Their Money Straight, in Order, Facing the Same Direction 41. To Be Patient About Things like Thumb-Sucking and Pacifiers 42. To Let Them Make Really Dumb Mistakes Without Condemnation 43. To Introduce Them to Her Friend Named Jesus 44. To Set the Tone for the Family 45. To Teach Them to Genuinely Respect All People, Cultures, Denominations, and Creeds 46. To Teach the Boys How to Love a Wife 47. To Teach the Girls How to Love a Husband 48. To Identify the Characteristics of a Fool and Tell Them What to Do When They Meet One 49. To Train Them to Listen to Her 50. To Teach Them to Not Be Easily Offended 51. To Live as Single Moms with Amazing Lives 52. To Teach Them a Gracious and Generous Hospitality More Great Harvest House Books by Angela Thomas From Angela ear mom like me, D Tonight as I write to you, I am praying for you and for your children. Oh, how you have such a tender place in my heart. Being a mom is the greatest privilege that has come to me, and I know you feel the same way. It is such an honor to meet you here in these pages and share a bit of our journey together. I want you to know that I have written these 52 things as prompts. Ideas. Creative reminders. Two of my girlfriends read the contents page for this book, and both of them called me to say, “I haven’t done even half of them. I hope there’s still time left.” So I want to tell you what I told them: “There is no guilt in these pages. They have not been written as a checklist for women who want to be impressive moms. Each of these chapters was written out of longing, desire, and love.” Some of you could write 1052 other things kids need from a mom. My friend with an autistic son could help us all learn so much more about patience and championing your child. My friend with adopted children would be able to give us lists of things kids need to adapt to a new culture and make the transition from orphanage to family. Another one of my friends spends almost every moment caring for her baby, who has had life-threatening issues and too many stays in the hospital. Oh, the things she could tell us. The point is that we are each on a different journey, but we all long to love our children well, to be great moms, and to become even better along the way. I am praying that in these pages you find encouragement, renewed inspiration, and hope. I pray that you can laugh at yourself, and your kids, when necessary. I pray for you and for myself that when we know better, we’ll do better. I am not done yet. I still want to become the mom God had in mind when He entrusted four beautiful children to me. Before you jump into the chapters, I just want to give you the pre-thing before the 52 things. This is the biggie that matters more than all the rest: Love. Love those kids with all your heart, soul, and might. Love them through their mistakes. Love them in their changes. Love them when they’re dorky. Love them when they are accomplished. Just open your heart and don’t hold back…ever. Our children need one person on this earth who will love them fiercely, no matter what this life holds. That task has been assigned to you and me. So let us learn to love with a healthy love. A godly love. A mushy love. A powerful, transforming love. And so my friend, welcome to 52 Things Kids Need from a Mom. May God add His grace to these pages and His wisdom to our hearts. I have nothing to offer apart from Him. Let’s love those pumpkins like crazy and enjoy every single day we have been given. It’s a privilege to be a mom alongside you today, Kids Need Their Mom… To Pray in Secret with the Door Open n my first years as a mom, I desperately wanted to keep a passionate spiritual Ilife with God. I wanted to read the Bible. Sit quietly and pray. Maybe even write a few things in my journal. It’s just that my little people would not cooperate. I had four babies in seven years, and not one of them was willing to go along with my plan. My heart kept longing to go back and have a spiritual life the way I’d always had.