03/09/2015 13:51 03/09/2015 1 DPG_2015_Cover_5.5.indd

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Why we all need to switch off off switch to need all we Why

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Turning Turning Issue 4 Issue CONTENTS

Why it’s 07 important that we take a break from our digital devices Welcome from time to time About Digital Parenting Contributors

The internet offers a host of thrilling new possibilities for learning, creativity and Linda Papadopoulos fun. Vodafone is proud to lead the field in is a research scientist, helping young people and their families to practising psychologist get the most out of digital technologies, and author specialising as well as in dealing with any challenges in psychodermatology, that it might bring. body image, counselling Digital Parenting began life as a website and medical psychology. She in 2009. This is the fourth edition of the has also researched the effects magazine, which has now reached millions of sexualisation, identity and of families in the UK for free. In this issue objectifi cation of young people. you will find articles about the latest Her work has been published in developments in internet safety across a leading academic journals and range of topics, as well as tips and practical 14 A guide to she maintains a high-profi le advice to help you manage your digital life. digital etiquette international media career. We’ve brought together leading experts for the mobile drlinda.co.uk in their fields – academics, psychologists, generation charity leaders and parents – to provide the latest news and digital trends as well Sonia Livingstone as up-to-date knowhow on keeping the is Professor of Media young people in your life safe online. In this issue and Communications For more parenting advice at LSE. She is the author and inspiration, visit or editor of numerous vodafone.com/parents Need to know 26 Are online games really books and academic articles 04 Coding in schools; what is damaging your child? and serves on the executive board bitcoin?; online vulnerability of the UK Council for Child Published by Vodafone UK 28 Cyberbullying: how different is Internet Safety. The Parent Zone 06 Getting your child’s fi rst phone; it from offl ine bullying? parenting.digital Editor Geraldine Bedell elcome to the latest edition We all need to work together to switching off; Scouting inspiration Commissioning Editors of Digital Parenting, a great educate children about staying safe 30 10 of the best apps for children Lucy Doyle and Rachel Rosen W resource that helps parents online. Our One Nation government 08 How to earn a living on YouTube; under the age of 10 Jonathan Russell Parenting Adviser Vicki Shotbolt understand and talk to young people is standing alongside parents to why is screen time such a worry? is Political Liaison about the benefits and the challenges make that job a bit easier. We are 32 What to do if your child becomes Offi cer at the Quilliam Vodafone of our digital world. taking action to prevent access 10 Communication and internet involved in an abusive relationship Foundation, where he Editor Charlotte Drake Growing up has never been easy, to harmful content and raising safety; pranks and crazes leads its campaign on Marketing Communications but today the virtual world presents awareness about online safety 34 Sexting – and how to keep your human rights in counter- Manager Victoria Sparks a whole set of new risks. Young people through the national curriculum. Features child safe online terrorism legislation and Supported by the Vodafone live in an always-on, social, digital and I want to commend Vodafone 12 What happens to children’s its efforts to promote clarity, Foundation (charity no. 1089625) connected world, and it’s the only and The Parent Zone for the good identities on social media? 35 Helping your child take control consistency and cohesion in world they’ve ever known. We marvel at job they do with Digital Parenting, of their digital footprint counter-extremism policy Sunday technology, yet to them it is the norm. and I hope you find the information 16 Is the internet hurting our across the EU. Senior Designer Emma O’Neil While the internet brings amazing you need to help your children feel children’s mental health? 36 Why it’s wrong to assume that quilliamfoundation.org Editor Stuart Knott opportunities for young people to empowered and get the most out children are all digital natives Deputy Editor Charlie Furniss learn, create and socialise, it is our duty of the online world. 18 Extremism and parents’ role Strategy Director Lindsay Barrett as adults to help them navigate this in tackling online radicalisation How to Sarah Brennan Creative Director Matt Beaven online world safely. Young people must Baroness Joanna Shields, 37 Using parental controls to is Chief Executive of Young Managing Director Toby Smeeton recognise that every click, every post, UK Minister for Internet 20 Ages and stages: how children protect your child online Minds, a charity that aims every purchase and every photo we Safety and Security use digital media as they grow up to improve the wellbeing upload online leaves a digital footprint. 46 References and mental health of young It is important to begin these 22 Managing your child’s online people. As well as campaigning and We do our best to make sure that the information in your conversations at an early age – to help activities on a part-time basis 47 Glossary and acknowledgements conducting research, Young Minds magazine is correct, but sometimes things change after it’s printed. Vodafone Limited. Registered off ice: Vodafone set boundaries together and provide a runs a helpline and online resources House, The Connection, Newbury, Berkshire RG14 2FN. clear understanding of when they are 24 Why the internet of things is set for parents and children. Registered No. 1471587. Published by Sunday Publishing Limited. wearesunday.com safe to explore and roam online freely. to revolutionise the way we live youngminds.org.uk 2 vodafone.com/parents 3

DPG_2015_p2-3_v5.3.indd 2 03/09/2015 13:52 DPG_2015_p2-3_v5.3.indd 3 03/09/2015 13:53 NEED TO KNOW

A new computing curriculum Brave new in England is preparing children for a digital future coding world here are some great videos online showing children’s reactions to retro technology (cue puzzled looks when T they see a floppy disk). Things move fast and, before What’s all the we know it, the next generation will be equally unimpressed by the PS4 and iPhone 6. So how can we help young people fuss about keep up with technology and make sure they have a digital bitcoin? start on the career ladder? Schools play a vital role, and in September 2014 those in England took a giant leap into the future by introducing Bitcoin has been called the local a new computing curriculum. Gone are old-style ICT lessons. currency of the internet. Created Instead, children now learn how computers and the internet by the mysterious Satoshi work. Lessons in algorithms, programming and digital literacy Nakamoto (who may not be help them to solve problems with logic and creativity. Japanese, may not be one This is a world-beating development, according to Simon person and has now disappeared), Humphreys of Computing at School. “England is leading the each bitcoin is a unique string way internationally by saying that every child aged five and of numbers and letters. over should be able to understand and apply the fundamental Digital currency couldn’t principles and concepts of computer science,” he explains. develop before bitcoin because “It’s a big idea, and it’s incredibly important, equipping it could have been copied, children to understand their brave new world, whatever What makes pasted and spent several times it might hold for them.” children over. But Nakamoto solved this Vicky Prior, Editor of Vodafone Digital Parenting problem by creating a record website, vodafone.com/parents vulnerable of transactions (the “keychain”) online? that could be stored on the computers of many users. Tech enthusiasts loved bitcoin Five We are all vulnerable at times. when it was launched in 2008. Everyone can feel insecure, But since then its value has fragile and in need of approval been fluctuating dramatically. reasons during times of change and Should you be concerned disappointment. The internet if your children are using it? to love the may exaggerate these feelings, Possibly: it’s associated with turning minor insecurities into buying drugs, pornography more serious issues for young and weapons, as well as with computing people who aren’t yet able gambling. Offline uses are limited Kids are more It’s good for Everyone can It improves It’s part of a to deal with them. Evidence so far. A handful of mainstream curriculum 1adaptable 2 the economy 3 get involved 4 employability 5 digital revolution suggests that offline and online websites have started using it Schools used to teach Even though the technology For the first time, children are From fashion to journalism, The computing curriculum resilience are linked, meaning but young people would struggle workplace ICT skills like industry is flourishing in studying a subject that their finance to health, most jobs in is aligned with a new wave that confident children, who are to use bitcoin to pay for food, spreadsheets and word the UK, many people are parents haven’t. But they still the future will require digital of online resources that are able to deal with risk offline, clothes and most of the other processing. Now, computing concerned about a digital need support. Computing skills. Whatever your child’s introducing coding to a wider also tend to be less vulnerable things they want to buy. lessons include programming skills gap. The new computing is as important as any other ambitions, the chances are audience. If you want to learn to harm online. Some people worry that (coding) and digital safety. curriculum means that subject on the curriculum, that understanding computing alongside your children, the Fortunately, the research it’s all smoke and mirrors. Its In the same way that young school leavers and university so parents can encourage will be important in building following sites are a good tells us that one of the most admirers love it because it’s people learn physics or history graduates will be better hobbies like code clubs and a career. Employers will place to start. important factors for online detached from the banking system as a discipline, students get prepared for the workplace. film-making. You could even try demand confident use of resilience is unconditional but that makes it too slippery for an insight into the underlying learning to code yourself, with technology, whatever the field. BBC Make it Digital support from parents or carers. a lot of people to trust. Bitcoin has principles of computing and apps like ScratchJr and Kodu. So understanding computing bit.ly/bbcmakeitdigital The best way to help your child yet to prove that it’s really reliable the digital world as well as will be as fundamental to Codecademy avoid harm online is to do the or that it has staying power – but hands-on experience. The idea your child’s employability bit.ly/code_cademy same things you do offline: one day we may take it for granted, is that even when the tech as maths and English. Digital Skills stay alert to what’s going on rather like the internet itself. changes, they will understand bit.ly/codingdigitalskills and let them know you’re Geraldine Bedell, Editor of enough to be able to adapt. Vodafone Decoding Code always there and on their Digital Parenting and bit.ly/decodingcode side if anything goes wrong. Parentinfo.org Vodafone My Tech Family Rachel Rosen, Health bit.ly/mytechfamily Editor of Parentinfo.org

4 Illustrations by Ryan Chapman vodafone.com/parents 5

DPG_2015_p4-5_v5.0.indd 4 25/08/2015 14:57 DPG_2015_p4-5_v5.0.indd 5 27/08/2015 18:47 NEED TO KNOW

Why it’s so important to

take regular How The Scouts can How can I help breaks from my child to stay help you safe and secure? technology switch off

1. Explain to your child why they should look after their phone like One great they do their purse or place to start wallet – it’s valuable looking for not only in terms new offl ine of its cost but also challenges because of the personal is The Scouts. information stored on it. Injecting some Scouting Smartphone 2. Make the most of by Cindy Rose, great for short-term memory, but not for adventure into your family parental controls on the Customer Director, “going deep”. Our brains can be excellent life could involve passing on If your child is asking for their phone and/or download Vodafone at juggling information, but having time to new skills, learning about new an app like Vodafone think is crucial for the big issues in life. We foods or exploring your local first phone, bear these tips in Guardian so you can set echnology is all around us. need quiet time to focus. I know the creative community. And if you feel like mind before taking the plunge time limits and block It’s helping to change the way types in my team at Vodafone benefi t from being a bit more adventurous, 101 access to inappropriate T we do things, opening up new time to let their minds wander. It’s often how about giving your kids content (see p43). opportunities for us all. Used in the right when they come up with the best ideas. responsibility for the family for way, it can have huge educational and The other great benefi t of switching off a day? The point is to get young hey borrow your smartphone Vodafone’s Red+ plan covers 3. Think about whether social benefi ts, too. That’s why I want is that it enables us to develop the different people and adults working DID YOU to play Candy Crush in the car. multiple SIM cards, so everyone in you want to switch off my kids to be connected, creative and communication skills we use when we meet together, learning about each ? KNOW ? T They’re masters of Minecraft on your family can have a device of Bluetooth and location confi dent online. I want them to be people face to face. These are vital and other and the wider world. the tablet. Now, they want their own their own and you can control each services, including learning and exploring and making the we are helping our children by making The Scouts use digital as part phone. So what should you consider person’s data allowance from maps, and to install most of the wealth of global information sure they get plenty of practice using of the mix, but to facilitate If you download before giving them a new device? one place. anti-virus software. they can carry around in their pockets. them. Social networking tends to draw everyday adventure rather data while you’re I want them to be in control. together like-minded groups. Online, than to replace it. not connected Is my child ready for a smartphone? How much will this cost? 4. Get your child to set But with messages coming at me from my kids talk mainly to people like them Samantha Marks, National to home-based There’s no minimum age limit for You can choose to pay monthly a passcode and auto- all directions, it’s sometimes easy to spend in age and background. Switching off Development Offi cer broadband, it could mobile phones. It’s a personal decision. (sometimes called contract) or lock on their screen a whole day multitasking and have no time can mean reconnecting with different (Safeguarding) at The put you over your Many children get mobiles around the pay as you go (also called PAYG and to keep a note of to step back and think. That’s why I need generations and with people whose lives Scout Association monthly data limit. age of 11, when they start secondary or pre-pay). Pay as you go, which their phone’s IMEI the chance to detox from my devices. are different from ours. Downloading and school, and 90% of British teenagers uses top-up vouchers or credits, serial number in case Many people are keeping themselves Because I want my children to be well streaming videos, now have one. A lot of parents like is popular for young people as it it gets stolen. You can fresh by switching off technology from time adjusted, good at all kinds of relationships, music and other being able to stay in touch – but it’s gives them more control. With find the IMEI number to time. This is especially important if you’re able to concentrate on different types of content can be worth making sure your child really Vodafone Red+, your child can either by looking in a parent. We’ve all had the experience of activities and independent, I help them expensive if you’re needs a phone and that they are contact you in an emergency Settings or by typing being at home with our kids, with everyone to switch off for a few hours a week. The not using home responsible enough to have one. even with no credit on their phone. *#06# into the phone. on their own devices. Home should also Scouts, with their history of unplugged broadband, so It may be worth setting limits for be a place for meaningful moments with activities, suggest walks, cycling, board make sure your Which smartphone and tariff your child’s smartphone use, such 5. Establish some rules the family, which is why switching off for games, listening to music together or children know should I choose for my child? as how often and what they use it about when they can a few hours can really help. cooking a meal as a family. how mobile data Your child might well have a cool brand for. And remember that the cost use their smartphone, I also like time to talk through what Technology can enrich our lives, but we works and why on their wish list but it’s worth looking of premium rate services (such as which apps and my kids are sharing online. Being online need to make sure we don’t have too much downloading data for devices that let you manage the competition lines), apps and in-app websites they can 24-7 can be stressful for a teenager who’s of a good thing. The best example we can can sometimes end features, such as Restrictions on the purchases, as well as using the access and how they struggling with their identity. Helping set for children in the digital world is to up costing extra. iPhone or Kids Mode on the Samsung phone abroad, can quickly add up. should behave on their them to decide what information they show them that they can also have a lot bit.ly/VF_charges Galaxy range. You should choose price Vicky Prior, Editor of Vodafone phone and online. make available is important. of fun away from tech – and that when plans designed with families in mind. Digital Parenting website, I myself benefi t from turning off so I can they go back to it, they’ll also have a better Available on pay monthly contracts, vodafone.com/parents focus. Research shows that multitasking is perspective on what’s happening online. 6 vodafone.com/parents 7

DPG_2015_p6-7_v5.1.indd 6 27/08/2015 18:48 DPG_2015_p6-7_v5.1.indd 7 27/08/2015 18:48 NEED TO KNOW Be a star on YouTube Why do parents stress about Clued-up vloggers can earn serious screen time? money turning their passions into video. Three Brits explain by Sonia Livingstone, Professor of Media how they have and Communications at struck gold online London School of Economics by Lucy Doyle, Writer at Parentinfo.org HANNAH WITTON CHERRY WALLIS MARCUS BUTLER ost parents worry about screen time. And it’s Subscribers: around 130,000 Subscribers: more than 200,000 Subscribers: more than 5.5 million not surprising, when you consider how much Total views: more than 8 million Total views: more than 10 million (two channels) Mthey are bombarded by advice concerning the Total views: more than 325 million right amount of time for children to spend on digital media. We hear a lot about what’s appropriate for Hannah is a 20-something social media whizz Three years ago, after finishing a degree in different ages and about exposure to violence, sex and history graduate. She’s taken YouTube by art and design, Cherry started vlogging as Marcus Butler is one of Britain’s biggest YouTube and commercialism. storm with her upfront and articulate videos a hobby. Now her channel has videos on stars, with an online persona that his viewers Despite their concerns, many parents continue to about body image, sex and gender issues. In 2013 beauty, comedy and even baking. She’s (especially the teenage girls) can’t get enough fill their homes with hi-tech devices. In the UK, most she was shortlisted for Young Person of the Year now pretty handy on the production side, of. He is an Anti-Bullying Ambassador for the pre-school children have already used a smartphone, at the Sexual Health Awards in partnership with often using a green screen and spending “ The Diana Award and released his book Hello Life in tablet or games console. Brook and the Family Planning Association. hours editing reams of raw footage to July. Marcus is one of a group of British celebrity In my interviews with parents of children aged three She started out three years ago and is doing create fun, engaging videos. beauty YouTubers, along with his girlfriend Niomi Smart, to eight I am struck by how ambivalent they feel about well so far: she says she earns enough to survive Zoella, Alfie Deyes, Joe Sugg, Tanya Burr and their kids’ use of digital media. On the one hand, they in London – an impressive feat these days! You can now earn a living from your of online Jim Chapman, who are all close friends offline. give children access to devices. On the other, they set videos. How did it feel when it became is that rules about how much their children can use them. How did it feel when you realised you could your day job? When did you realise that you could make They also seem to value non-digital activities more make vlogging your full-time job? I didn’t start YouTubing to make money – you can a career out of vlogging? highly. When I ask them about what a good day with Very exciting. I’m a strong believer in “choose I did it because I enjoyed it. It took a couple I quit my job after going to Vidcon [a huge the family looks like, they talk about playing football a job you love and you’ll never have to work of years to make it my full-time job, and just block cultural event for online video], where I met outside or board games indoors. a day in your life”. I worked in bars to pay my way before that. people lots of big YouTubers and got really fired up Parents often feel guilty about their children’s use Earning a living from doing something being around people who shared my passion. of digital media. This is partly because, as they admit, What are you doing today? I really love is wonderful. who are the rules about screen time tend to go out of the I’m answering these interview questions. Doing How’s fame treating you? window when they’re tired or busy. But children don’t a photo shoot and an interview for a feminist What other opportunities have arisen upsetting I get stopped fairly regularly by fans – it’s really mind this. They tell me that they see these times as “I’m a magazine. Filming a vlog about my trip to Japan through your vlogging? cool but a bit surreal. At the moment, the press moments of freedom when they get to do what they and South Korea, editing that video, writing a I’ve travelled to America and Egypt, you” isn’t too interested in me and the general public want on digital media. strong blog post about the Peace Museum in Hiroshima, released a single (“Hero”, which reached Marcus Butler doesn’t know me – only my audience does, so I get However, there is another reason why parents feel going to a screening of a film and then watching the iTunes Top 50 rock chart) and landed the best of both worlds. I hope it stays that way. uncertain about their children’s time on screens. There’s believer in Game of Thrones. That’s the plan, anyway! a lead role in a feature film,Hungerford a widespread sense that despite the extraordinary and Ground Zero. I’ve also worked for CBBC Your fans send you dares to do. What’s the exciting potential of digital media, there isn’t much really ‘choose What are your favourite comments and appeared on Blue Peter. And YouTubing weirdest dare you’ve done? fantastic content for younger children. Or, if there is, a job you from fans? has also boosted my confidence. Having grapes taped to my face or my hair being parents don’t know where to find it. They frequently When people say my videos have helped them covered in toothpaste are both definitely up there! ask me if I know of imaginative sites that will stretch love and be more self-confident and love themselves What’s the craziest thing you’ve and stimulate their child. after being ashamed of their bodies. received from fans? What opportunities have come from vlogging? There’s no digital equivalent of the children’s librarian. you’ll never An envelope full of glitter. I am always I’ve been able to travel all over the world with There are no prizes to promote innovative, high-quality have to On your vlog you speak about sex openly. careful when opening things after that! friends. I’ve also really grown in confidence. content for young children. As a result, they visit a How do you deal with trolls? Before I started, I’d have never been able to relatively narrow range of sites, many of which are either work a The nature of my content does occasionally speak in public or deliver a pitch as I can now. heavily commercialised or designed for older kids. So, attract some mean people. Because of my while many parents believe instinctively that there could day in general openness, a lot of people feel entitled Any advice for coping with trolls? and should be such a thing as “good” screen time, they to that information and often ask very invasive The beauty of online is that you can just block don’t fully trust and love much of the available content. your life’” questions, but I ignore them and I never reveal people who are upsetting you. My advice is to As a result, they often worry that the screen is more Hannah Witton personal information about my love life. kick them out of your online life quickly! a form of babysitting than quality time. 8 vodafone.com/parents 9

DPG_2015_p8-9_v5.2.indd 8 03/09/2015 13:54 DPG_2015_p8-9_v5.2.indd 9 03/09/2015 13:54 NEED TO KNOW Go on, I dare you How not to get hurt by What parents internet pranks and crazes should really do about internet safety

very week there seems heavy restrictions and monitoring of children who thrive online were day. So we don’t have to be afraid A heady mix of hormones, new Top tips You can’t control to be some new scare about don’t make children safer. A report neither too strict nor too lenient that we lack the ability to manage emotions and the desire to impress everything your E the hazards children face from the Oxford Internet Institute but somewhere in the middle. the online world. It’s just a question peers means teenagers will always online, whether it’s from social and The Parent Zone suggests that of adapting what we already know. want to take risks. Most of the time, 1. Talk to your child child sees online. media addiction, cyberbullying, teenagers who are limited in the So what works? online pranks and dares are harmless. about pranks and dares. So increasing pornography or sexting. Video time they are allowed to spend Don’t set loads of rules but Some, like the ice bucket challenge, Ask them what they gaming is destroying young men, online or banned from particular instead show an interest in what Talking about what your even raise money for good causes. think about them and their resilience claims one study; selfi es are making digital activities are less resilient your child is up to. child does online – the But others can be harmful. whether they’ve ever been by preparing girls miserable, says another. when it comes to dealing with Do show unconditional love and www approach Websites like makeadare.com allow tempted to get involved. It’s easy to identify inappropriate online hazards. And conversely, support for your child; don’t make members to “earn street cred by them for an content – nudity and violence are children who are more creative your approval depend on your completing dares and impressing 2. Remind them that inevitable shock obvious examples. But it’s harder to and confi dent online are also child behaving in a particular way ho do they connect friends and fans”. The incentive to gain they are in control – know how such content becomes better at dealing with risk. or achieving certain things. W with online? points can cause children to take they don’t have to do is the most harmful and for which children. In a way, it’s not surprising. Do accept your child’s Talk about how to choose supportive bigger risks than they would normally. anything they don’t want valuable step This means we have to try to Children learn how to deal with individuality and show interest online friends and block or report Unlike in real life, dares on these to, even if peers tease stop children viewing it where we risk by coming across it. And if in how they’re developing and users who are causing trouble. sites don’t just come from friends, them for not doing it. parents can take can – and we’re good at this in the they know how to make the most exploring their identity. who probably care about your child, by Geraldine Bedell, UK. The back of this magazine will of the advantages, they are less Don’t be afraid to have your own here do they go online? but from anyone who happens to 3. Suggest they take Editor of Digital Parenting help you set up broadband fi lters likely to be distracted by the risks. opinions or disagree with your child W Talk about sites to avoid and be online. Many of these sites exist a step back before and Parentinfo.org and set parental controls on If we want to protect our children – you’re in charge – but listen and whether sites and apps promising and there are thousands of silly agreeing to a dare and to devices such as smartphones, online, we have to encourage them take what they say into account. anonymity are really as secure as dares doing the rounds other than ask themselves if the risk tablets and games consoles. to be confi dent and creative, and they seem. the famous ones that go viral. they’re taking is sensible. This is a great start, especially for that means accepting that there The problems of the internet are It’s difficult to stop your child younger children. But in the always- will always be some degree of risk. really social problems, whether hat do they do online? getting involved in pranks and dares 4. Encourage them not to on, mobile world, your child is only The key is to stop that risk turning we’re talking about bullying, W Make sure they know where to online, so it’s really important to make pass on dares and explain as safe as the least protected child into harm – which you can do by self-harm or meeting the wrong go to get information that’s suitable them aware of the boundary between why doing so can lead to at school. Any smart young person letting kids know how to react people. And, as ever with social for them about subjects they may a fun, harmless risk and a more vulnerable young people who really wants to get around when they come across something problems, parents are the fi rst line find difficult to discuss with you. inappropriate or dangerous one. taking unwise risks. fi lters will fi nd a way to do so. online that disturbs them. of defence. We help our children Vicki Shotbolt, Meanwhile, research shows that Our research shows that parents cope with risks and worries every CEO of The Parent Zone

10 vodafone.com/parents 11

DPG_2015_p10-11_v5.1.indd 10 27/08/2015 18:50 DPG_2015_p10-11_v5.1.indd 11 27/08/2015 18:50 IDENTITY

Creating kinder online communities Technology has the power Me, to strengthen friendships, but it also can facilitate mean behaviour. According to the UK Safer Internet Centre’s research paper Friendship by psychologist We effectively step outside ourselves in a Digital Age, 63% of young and author Dr Linda and become observers of our own people believe they are closer Papadopoulos lives, constantly wondering how to their friends because of the we measure up in the eyes of internet. However, the study of my selfie others, ready to edit who we are more than 1,000 children aged ocial media has become as in order to conform or please. 11 to 16 also shows that 30% of much about defi ning who we The need to know oneself makes them had been on the receiving S are as it is about connecting way for the more pressing need end of mean online behaviour with friends and family. The need to to manage what others think – in the previous year. establish a presence – an identity that basically, to self-promote. And It’s very easy for children to people take note of – contributes to there is an increasing body of make mistakes online, because how we see and value ourselves. research that suggests this is without face-to-face interaction Our likes, re-tweets and posts making us feel, well, not so “liked”. their intentions can often be and I act as a barometer not only of how Constructing identity out of misinterpreted and feelings What happens to children’s identities others perceive us, but perhaps others’ expectations can leave us misunderstood. We need to more worryingly of how we perceive uncertain who we really are. Seeking help children understand the when they share details about their ourselves. Of course, concern about validation and acceptance is normal, need to think before they post lives incessantly on social media? how others see us is nothing new. Other but this needs to happen offl ine as and to consider the potential people’s opinions have always affected well as online. Young people need impact of content they share. us. But we now have the ability to ask mirrors to refl ect their developing So what can parents do to for these opinions as never before. This attributes back at them, rather than help encourage children to be may explain why we feel it necessary to scripts to follow. kinder to one another online? share detail about our lives incessantly: Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think You can start talking to your I post therefore I am. that social networking is bad. But I do child about being a good friend When the line between the “self” think that it’s time to acknowledge online as soon as they show an and the “selfi e” – our private and public how profoundly our online identities interest in the internet. Engage selves – becomes blurred, identity can affect us. As online and offl ine with their online use: help them stops being a refl ection of individuality. become more intertwined, it is learn how to be good friends Instead it becomes a means of approval important to learn how to disconnect online – just like you would and status. As we tweak and edit who from our “constructed” identities to offl ine – and to understand we are so that we can appeal to others, remember who we really are. Once the consequences of mean there is a danger of coming to believe we lose the ability to engage with behaviour online. Ensure they that we’re not yet worthy of being our identity internally, it becomes know what to do when things “liked”. Many young people trying to something outside us and so it is go wrong. Last, but defi nitely establish an identity are also running more easily manipulated. not least, it’s important to be a campaign to promote themselves, Philosophers and behavioural a good role model, just as you and the danger is that they may begin scientists point out that a desire for would in the rest of your life. to feel that they can’t really live up to authenticity is central to our sense Childnet’s online book the “self” they’ve created. of wellbeing, a cornerstone of Digiduck’s Big Decision The more information we have on mental health. Being true to who we sensitively portrays this other people’s views about ourselves, are is correlated with self-esteem, message for three- to eight- the more likely we are to see our vitality and self-determination. year-olds, helping parents identity as being dependent on traits Young people need a chance to and carers start these that we would like to have or we rewrite their scripts on their own conversations early. assume others want to see in us – terms, looking inwards for what Will Gardner, CEO at Childnet rather than being an expression of feels right and ignoring those our beliefs and values. We start to would-be editors who don’t Digiduck’s Big Decision view ourselves in the third person. really know who they are. bit.ly/digiducksdecision

12 vodafone.com/parents 13

DPG_2015_p12-13_v5.0.indd 12 25/08/2015 15:20 DPG_2015_p12-13_v5.1.indd 13 27/08/2015 18:50 MOBILE MANNERS

Don’t send messages via your phone in the cinema. Or even Don’t say anything read them. We can all see those online that you little lights. And don’t imagine that a vibrating, buzzing wouldn’t say to phone is in any way silent A guide to a person’s face digital etiquette 11 rules for the mobile generation. Great for children – and adults, too by Geraldine Bedell, Editor of Digital Parenting and Parentinfo.org

Think before you attack on social media, Don’t walk down the street texting or browsing – you’ll especially if joining in bump into someone with a lot of other people. Are you responding negatively because it’s necessary or because it’s Don’t force making you feel better? other people BEFORE YOU POST, to listen to THINK ABOUT your music WHAT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE (YOUR GRAN? YOUR HEAD TEACHER?) WOULD THINK IF THEY READ IT On the whole, it’s a good idea to pay more DON’T OVERSHARE attention to the people you are with than to For adults: remember your devices – so don’t text while paying in a your children are shop, or be so busy updating your status you entitled to private lives don’t talk to your family For young people: don’t post pictures It’s sometimes of your friends looking better not to speak ridiculous without online. You don’t getting their have to retort. There permission fi rst is nothing wrong with keeping quiet now and then Don’t wear headphones when people are trying You don’t need to take a picture to prove to yourself to talk to you (and that you’ve done something. It is perfectly OK to go taking out one side to a museum or for a walk and just look at things is not good enough) 14 Illustrations by James Olstein vodafone.com/parents 15

DPG_2015_p14-15_v5.0.indd 14 25/08/2015 15:22 DPG_2015_p14-15_v5.0.indd 15 25/08/2015 15:22 MENTAL HEALTH

How to build your child’s online Unhappiness, resilience

1. Remind them that not everything on the depression and internet is true – some content may need to be checked and evaluated with a trusted adult anxiety are on for validity. Encourage them to question and not to take everything at face value.

the rise among 2. Reassure them that life is not measured by how many likes or young people. re-tweets they get. 3. Discuss how social media makes them feel and reassure them that if they are Is the internet being bullied they can confide in you. You can also talk to your child’s school for support with to blame? cyberbullying. 4. Let them know that if they see something online that bothers them, they should tell a trusted adult and show them the site.

by Sarah Brennan, Anecdotal evidence suggests that the “A recent Counterbalance for example, has given young lesbian, gay, 5. Reassure them that Chief Executive, YoungMinds internet is contributing. For example, a And yet, for all the negativity, the internet and bisexual and transgender people all over the you love them and @YoungMindsCEO number of viral hashtags have emerged poll of 2,000 social media can also play a positive role in world the knowledge to resist harassment are proud of them. that promote self-harming, such as a young person’s life. Keeping in touch with and the inspiration to be themselves. #cutforzayn which appeared when Zayn young people friends or relatives all over the world provides 6. Remember that Malik left One Direction. There are also revealed an opportunity to socialise and de-stress. Providing support worrying behaviour arents have always had to respond a number of photo-sharing sites where There’s a wealth of information and resources Engaging children in the positive aspects of the can be short-lived. All to the world changing around them, young people who are self-harming post that 37% for young people online, providing access to internet and guiding them towards its helpful and children go through P and today their worries are often images encouraging others to do the same. information about sex, drugs, relationships, inspiring resources can go a long way towards changes and difficult about issues relating to digital technology. And a recent poll of 2,000 young people had seen an mental health and wellbeing. guarding against the hazards. At the same time times, and most will Cyberbullying, sexting and online child aged 11-21 conducted for Self-Harm The best of these are created partly by their it’s critical to try to limit a child’s exposure to come through with sexual exploitation all create anxiety about Awareness Day revealed that 37% had image online users, with language and content that doesn’t feel websites that promote dangerous behaviour support from their children’s happiness and mental health. seen an image online showing someone showing too stuffy and patronising. Good examples and compromise their mental health. family, friends and As a whole, young people’s lives seem to self-harming. The majority of those said include TalktoFrank and Headmeds. The There is always a temptation to reduce young (perhaps) online be improving. The rate of teen pregnancies that they found this upsetting. someone latter has proved hugely popular, featuring people’s freedom and increase monitoring communities. is dropping and there’s a decline in drug and Many of us have read stories about the no-nonsense information about mental health “for their own good” – which often means alcohol use. But there are also reports of a rise organised trolling and bullying of young self-harming” medication commonly prescribed to adolescents to allay parents’ own fears. However, banning 7. If older children in unhappiness, depression and anxiety, and people by their peers through social media, and children, and real-life case studies of young or dramatically limiting a child’s online time don’t want to talk at the behaviours this leads to such as self-harm sometimes with sad consequences. MPs people who have used the medication. can actually make them more at risk of harm. first, let them know and eating disorders. It’s diffi cult to know have expressed their alarm at the dangers In the past few years, we’ve also seen how Ultimately, the key to helping your children you are concerned whether it’s simply that more young people posed by so-called pro-ana (pro-anorexia) social media can act as a catalyst for social have a positive experience of the internet and about them. Sending are coming forward, but it does seem that and pro-mia (pro-bulimia) websites, as change, raising young people’s awareness of social media is building their online resilience. a text message as a young people are suffering more than ever well as about cyberbullying and sites particular issues and promoting positive action. talktofrank.com starting point may from mental health problems. that promote self-harm. Based in the US, the It Gets Better Project, headmeds.org.uk work better. 16 vodafone.com/parents 1717

DPG_2015_p16-17_v5.2.indd 16 03/09/2015 13:55 DPG_2015_p16-17_v5.2.indd 17 03/09/2015 13:55 EXTREMISM

Parents can help tackle online radicalisation Challenging by encouraging their children to appreciate the variety of identities and beliefs in the world today

black and white by Jonathan Russell, The Quilliam Foundation’s Political Liaison Officer top tips for tackling extremism at the Quilliam Foundation views of the The Quilliam tories of young people leaving 1. The single most important thing you can do to Foundation Britain to join jihadist terrorist prevent extremism is to explain to your child why S organisations fighting in Syria equality matters and why it’s important to support and Iraq keep on hitting the headlines: people’s right to practise their own religion and Quilliam is the world’s more than 1,000 Britons have now left to speak freely. Explain the significance of the world first counter-extremism this country to fight abroad. Many of them Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which think tank set up to have been radicalised, at least partly, online. says that people are entitled to equality before address the unique The government stops many jihadists the law and freedom from discrimination, challenges of citizenship, travelling, but it would be better to prevent regardless of race, gender or sexuality. identity and belonging them wanting to go in the first place. in a globalised world. That’s where parents come in. 2. Make sure that when you talk to your child, Quilliam stands for Parents are best placed to notice if young you don’t confuse the religion of Islam with religious freedom, people’s online habits suddenly change the political extremism of Islamism. Then, equality, human rights – for example, if they are spending more when we challenge extremists, we won’t fuel and democracy. time in their rooms and refusing to discuss prejudice and damage anyone’s freedom to quilliamfoundation.org what they are doing in the digital space. practise their religion.

Preventing radicalisation involves: 3. Don’t ignore extremism if you see it. It’s vital Understanding the ideas underlying to challenge it, in the same way it’s vital to extremism, which are based on a black challenge bullying, homophobia and racism. and white view of the world. If you don’t, young people may assume adults Appreciating why young people think it’s acceptable. are sometimes drawn to these ideas. Communicating what life with the 4. Be aware that you have a really important role reality of these ideas is actually like. to play. Stopping extremism is not just a job for Persuading young people that our the police and security services; it’s a job for all own values of equality and freedom of us. Talk to your child about who they follow are worthwhile. online and the kinds of issues they are discussing. Convincing young people that they don’t have to choose to be one 5. Reassure young people who are struggling thing or the other, for example, either with their identity that it’s normal to be made a devout Muslim or a Londoner. up of many parts.

Young people spend a lot of time 6. Be sensitive. Young people may be drawn to developing their identities online, and extremism by personal circumstances, religion, this is perfectly normal. Radicalisation politics or a combination of all three – but happens when they build their identities they are unquestionably vulnerable when around drastically simplified ideas. In it is happening. Be considerate of what they reality, everyone’s identity is multifaceted, feel is going wrong with their lives. but jihadist ideologies promote the idea that there is only one truth. Parents 7. Encourage young people to understand can help to combat radicalisation by how others might try to manipulate them with encouraging the view that it’s perfectly half-truths, so they can see propaganda for what OK for their child to be many things: a it is. Engage them in conversations about how Muslim, of Pakistani origin, a computer people may use the internet to spread untruths. nerd, a rapper, a son, gay and a Manchester United fan, for example. 8. Get support. If you notice a significant change Radicalisation takes place over a period in attitudes towards extremism or online of time, and for much of that time the behaviour that concerns you, get help. This changes may not be visible. Parents are could take the form of personal mentoring, often best placed to spot the subtle signs new networks or programmes to lead young that teenagers may be being groomed people away from radicalisation. Quilliam can into radicalisation online. provide more information. 18 Illustration by Noma Bar vodafone.com/parents 19

DPG_2015_p18-19_v5.0.indd 18 25/08/2015 15:28 DPG_2015_p18-19_v5.0.indd 19 25/08/2015 15:29 AGES AND STAGES

Google What kind of your child These days, content is right an online reputation is as important as for your child? an offl ine one. Your child might How children engage with digital media be surprised by at different times in their lives what comes up by Vicki Shotbolt, CEO of The Parent Zone when they type their name into Google. And that, of course, is exactly what prospective employers will often do.

Top tips

Try googling your child’s name, putting it in quotation marks to get the most accurate results.

Ask your child if they’re surprised by the results, and 0-3 YEARS 4-6 YEARS 7-12 YEARS 13-16 YEARS whether they’re happy with the story they tell. Bridging the gap The fi rst steps Independent learning Increasing privacy Further exploration There are many milestones in the fi rst years of During these years, children are developing Children think in concrete terms. Hero worship Peer groups become more important than Take the opportunity a child’s life, from learning to recognise your a sense of right and wrong. They are becoming starts and privacy becomes important. They family and they are keen to test out different to delete any old accounts, Technology is part of face to learning to walk, from holding a spoon much more independent and enjoying playing in become curious about how things work, which identities, becoming more self-conscious and de-tag pictures they don’t family life, but with to learning to draw. Alongside these physical small groups. As their trust for other people grows means they might start to explore online in starting to take an interest in relationships and like and review their privacy everyone on their developments, young children are also learning they become less fearful, but they can still be places you don’t necessarily expect. As they sex. Online, that means they are likely to want settings. It’s probably worth own devices, enjoying to interact with other people. Sharing, trusting scared of the dark, of loud noises and of things approach their teenage years, they may slip to seek out information about topics for which repeating this exercise different activities, and understanding simple rules are all learned they don’t understand. Content that may seem between childlike behaviour and teen behaviour you may not think they are ready. Exploring every three months or so. it’s not always easy to in these early years. Very young children are pretty harmless to you can still be frightening, in the blink of an eye and their technical skills are extreme views and taking risks is a natural get involved in each able to swipe iPads and play with phones – but even if they only see it from a distance. It’s likely to outpace their judgement. You need to phase; unfortunately, the part of the brain Encourage your child other’s digital worlds. remember, they lack the basic skills needed to important to encourage older children to think explain to them how to stay safe online, what to that is responsible for controlling impulsive to think of their digital An in-school project process the online information they are seeing. about their younger siblings when they’re playing share and what not to, and how to make sense of behaviour doesn’t fully mature until the age footprint as something they funded by the Vodafone A digital device is just a plaything at this age, so video games or watching online content. As the images and messages they see. Their desire of 25. This means that you need to help them control: an opportunity Foundation, My Tech expect them to press every button and swipe children in this age range learn to read and write, for privacy might lead them to try things without to assess risk. Talk about consequences and to build a fantastic online Family is all about every screen. Make sure you have set your devices their whole experience of using technology telling you, so conversations are vital. They try to agree ground rules. Being online can presence that records their helping families to share up so they don’t do anything they shouldn’t. changes. As their offl ine literacy develops, are likely to see content with some degree of dampen their natural sense of right and achievements and creativity. their online experiences so does their online literacy; now is the time violence. The important thing is that they see the wrong, so you need to help them to make and bridge that gap. to teach them safe searching skills. confl ict resolved and that they understand they good decisions about online behaviour. bit.ly/mytechfamily are still safe when frightening things happen. 20 Illustrations by James Olstein vodafone.com/parents 21

DPG_2015_p20-21_v5.0.indd 20 25/08/2015 15:33 DPG_2015_p20-21_v5.0.indd 21 25/08/2015 15:33 SHARED RESPONSIBILITY

My house, FOSTER PARENTS GRANDPARENTS SEPARATED PARENTS Jon Trew Cari Rosen Jane Smith

Set realistic expectations early on Talk to their parents Encourage everything Newly fostered children often arrive about online rules in moderation with mobile devices they’ve brought It’s easier to enforce rules if you and I keep track of how long they’ve from their previous home. They may the parents are on the same page. Rules been on the computer and suggest have been allowed to view unsuitable regarding screen time can be a thorny they take a break, perhaps to help material or to stay up late online, issue for grandparents. As one Gransnet me – usually a sure-fire way to get resulting in sleep deprivation. user says, “I remember my mother telling them to find something else to do! my rules It can be a challenge to change such me I’d get square eyes if I saw Watch When they’re at their dad’s, the rules habits, but it’s not impossible. It’s best to with Mother more than twice a week. are more relaxed about this. So There are all kinds of reasons why you establish ground rules regarding online Heaven knows what will happen to my when they’re with me, I make sure time immediately, just as you would with grandchildren who seem to spend half they have a healthy balance. might have part-time responsibility any other house rules. their lives in front of the screen!” for a child’s online activities. Three It’s also important to be realistic: telling If there are differing opinions, many No devices in bedrooms a child that they can use the computer people go for the “my house, my rules” before bed experts share their wisdom on only where you can see them isn’t going approach (easier to get away with if you’re I keep their phone and other keeping everyone happy to work in the mobile age. doing the parents a favour by looking device chargers downstairs. after the children). Children are often That way, when they go to bed Don’t jump to conclusions more receptive to their grandparents they aren’t tempted to stay up Do a bit of research first and find out what monitoring them than their parents – late playing on their phones, it is that they like about a particular game the generation gap can be a useful thing. which would mean grumpy kids. or website. Check it out yourself and don’t rely on sensationalist newspaper stories. Do things together online Communicate with them It’s a great way to spend quality time I’m always chatting with them about Be clued up together and it’s also much easier to have what they’re doing online and they Technology moves so quickly that it can a conversation about the pitfalls (and regularly show me a new vlog or app. be difficult to keep track. But it’s essential benefits, of course) when you’re both Keeping all lines of communication to be aware of what different devices can engaged in a relevant activity than when open, both online and offline, has do. One family were happily allowing their you’re having a heavy one-to-one. We always been a top priority for me child to play on a games console, without know grandparents who’ve learned to as a parent. realising that it was connected to the wifi play Minecraft with their grandchildren. and that the child was using it to contact Jane, mother of Eleanor, 15, and his birth parent. Apply the same rules you use offline Heather, 13, works in marketing One grandparent offers some perceptive and PR. The girls live with their Be positive and communicate advice: “There’s a lot of hysteria about mum during termtime and their Engage in their digital lives and show an what children can access. Of course dad during the school holidays interest in what your foster child does there’s some vile stuff out there, but and some weekends. online. Share your favourite websites and I spend quite a lot of time online and talk to them about theirs. If you’re already I never see any of it. talking about the fun and easy stuff, “The key thing – which was always the they’ll be much more likely to tell you key thing before digital, too – is to give if something scary does happen. children a sense of self-preservation, be watchful, set boundaries and to have Jon Trew trains foster carers in child values they can respect.” protection and safety online. Cari Rosen is editor of Gransnet and author of three books including The New Granny’s Survival Guide.

22 vodafone.com/parents 2323

DPG_2015_p22-23_v5.1.indd 22 03/09/2015 13:56 DPG_2015_p22-23_v5.1.indd 23 03/09/2015 13:57 INTERNET OF THINGS

Sheet that monitors Bracelet or watch that your quality of sleep monitors your exercise ? DID YOU KNOW ? Tomorrow’s world and heart rate and can and tells you when you’ve also check your locks spent long enough Already 4.9 billion “things” are connected and adjust your working at a screen There are a number of to the internet, from phones to laptops, heating and lighting and need to get up ways you can prevent cars to buildings, health monitors as you’re waking up and walk around your child from making to security systems. But this is just payments with their the beginning. Soon we’ll be living smartphone. You can in a world in which our tech has the block certain kinds of capacity to make decisions and will purchases (like premium interact with us in ways we can hardly Baby monitor that rate texting and chat imagine, learning our preferences works without wires services) through your and reacting to our needs in real time. or radio frequencies Pot plants that send service provider, This is the “internet of things”. It is you a text when although you may be estimated that by 2025 homes will they need a drink. surprised by some of the house as many as 500 connected Simply press things you can’t then do, devices, many of them recognising a button on your like vote on X Factor. our faces and responding to our phone and it’s done Others, like in-app voices. Sound improbable? Many purchases, may need a of these devices already exist. separate block applied, by Claire Pasmore, alternatively you may Staff Writer at Parentinfo.org set blocks in a device’s settings or in the app store. If you want to let your child make some Umbrella that purchases using their knows when rain is phone, you’ll need to forecast and asks agree a limit with them you to take it out A “lock” that uses as there’s currently no your heartbeat to way to set one through open the front door your service provider or in a device’s settings. Thermostat that switches on the heating if it gets cold when you’re away

Smoke alarm that Fridge that offers menu Coffee machine that can Remote control that Robot vacuum warns you before suggestions for dinner communicate with your fi tness recognises your cleaner that adjusts it goes off – useful based on the ingredients tracker and knock up an extra hand and offers you its cleaning for if you have an you have in it strong cup of coffee if you need programming based on different surfaces unreliable toaster a boost in the morning. Also your likes and dislikes compensates for the quality of water in your area 24 Illustration by Arunas Kacinskas vodafone.com/parents 25

DPG_2015_p24-25_v5.0.indd 24 25/08/2015 15:41 DPG_2015_p24-25_v5.0.indd 25 25/08/2015 15:41 GAMING Are online games damaging How long should children spend your child? playing games?

The Pediatrics study suggests that parents should use the Goldilocks rule – not too much, not too little, but somewhere in between – to work out how much gaming is right for their children. About an hour of gaming a day seems to benefi t children’s social development. Playing for more than three hours a day seems to have negative impacts. That said, the effects of gaming on children’s wellbeing are very small, around 2%.

by Dr Andrew K. Przybylski and There has been a fair amount of felt more satisfi ed with life, had fewer Dr Netta Weinstein, research “Young research into the impact of games. emotional or social problems and were psychologists specialising in the Some individual studies have shown less unhappy about friendships. social impacts of digital technology people that gaming might actually help with We also found that a minority who cognitive abilities and visual skills. played for more than three hours a day inecraft is almost certainly who played Others have suggested that gaming (roughly 9%) seemed to be worse off. the most popular video game about an may be linked to bad behaviour These young people said they were M in history. There are now or aggressive thoughts and feelings. more likely to be hyperactive and more than 42 million Minecraft videos hour of The best overviews, like Dr Tanya emotionally volatile compared to DID YOU online, and according to YouTube it’s Byron’s, conclude that the risks those who played for less time or not ? KNOW ? the second most frequently searched games a day associated with gaming are probably at all. Those who played between one topic. The game allows players to appeared less obvious things – like the lack of and three hours a day (41% of the create new worlds out of building physical activity – than aggressive sample) appeared no different to those As well as setting a blocks and resources discovered on to be better behaviour. However, even the who said they never played games. lock code for your the site, and this virtual Lego has made wide-ranging overviews are based The infl uence of gaming compared device, you can also its creators a fortune. The company adjusted on studies carried out mostly on to other things that affect children’s set a lock for your behind it, Mojang, was recently bought university students, so they may wellbeing is small. About 2% of peer SIM. If your phone by Microsoft for $2.5 billion. than those not apply to younger children. problems, hyperactivity and antisocial is stolen and you Minecraft can take up a huge who didn’t So how do different “doses” of behaviour – as well as life satisfaction haven’t locked your amount of time and many parents gaming affect young people? – could be related to gaming. SIM card, it could worry whether that could have a play any A study of nearly 5,000 British Parenting, schooling, housing be transferred to long-term impact. And it’s not just 10- to 15-year-olds published in the conditions, age and gender have another phone Minecraft – there are thousands of games journal Pediatrics found that young a much bigger impact. and used to run up games of every imaginable kind. at all” people who played about an hour of Until there’s more research, about massive bills. What effect are they having on games a day (36% of the sample) an hour a day seems to be the best bit.ly/VF_security young people’s social attitudes, appeared better adjusted than those recommendation. The good news their emotional development who didn’t play games at all (14%). for kids who love Minecraft is that and their mental health? They were more helpful to others, it appears to have a positive effect. 26 vodafone.com/parents 2727

DPG_2015_p26-27_v5.0.indd 26 25/08/2015 16:00 DPG_2015_p26-27_v5.0.indd 27 25/08/2015 16:00 BULLYING

by Alex Holmes, only family going through this. Tell them not The Diana Award head of the Diana Award’s to retaliate – that’s exactly what the bullies Anti-Bullying Campaign want. Instead, take the power back: block them and hopefully the bullying will stop. Every site The Diana Award is has a way of blocking and reporting. It’s also a charity that was Is there more bullying today a good idea to save any evidence of bullying, founded as a legacy to than there used to be? which can be vital if it escalates. The Malicious Diana, Princess of Wales, The research doesn’t show that there is any Communications Act protects users online, so who believed that young more bullying than there used to be, although don’t be afraid to approach your local police if people have the power technology has shifted some of it online. the abuse is particularly threatening or serious. to change the world It might also be a good idea to sit down and look for the better. It runs the What is cyberbullying? at your child’s friends list and work out together Anti-Bullying Campaign, Cyber Cyberbullying is when a person uses who their real friends are. which empowers young technology to abuse, harass or humiliate people, schools and someone repeatedly over the internet. This What if I think my child is bullying parents to tackle bullying could involve sending messages by mobile someone online? online and offline. phone or over social media, or sharing We all say things that we don’t mean, and antibullyingpro.org.uk images or personal information. on the internet it’s easy to get brave and say things that you would never say to someone’s What difference does online make? face. It’s important that your child understands Because we can be connected to the internet when their actions have become bullying and 24 hours a day, cyberbullying can follow that at such a point they need to stop. bullying: someone into their home – even into their First, remain calm. We all make mistakes; bedroom – and can be hard to escape. As the important thing is to learn from them. online platforms allow for content to be Listen to your child, don’t jump in and blame viewed and shared by others, it can spread them. Find out the facts. There’s likely to be more quickly and be seen by a much larger a reason they are acting this way – but don’t audience than it would offline. accept excuses. Help them to understand the impact of their words both online and offline Why is anonymity significant? and don’t be afraid to use your support Some platforms allow a bully to hide their network: think about friends, family and even identity behind a fake or anonymous profile. school staff that you could be speaking to Fact That said, everyone’s digital footprint is about what is going on. traceable. It’s also important to report and DID YOU block abuse, and to think about who has Is it true that some children bully ? KNOW ? access to a victim’s profile and whether themselves? they want to restrict who can make contact. A survey by the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Centre found that 9% of the 617 You should keep What is the difference between normal students interviewed had bullied themselves your phone as safe adolescent online “drama” and bullying? online anonymously. Other studies are scarce, as your bank card. Parents and adults may not be the best judges but it is important that we look deeper into Now that you can of what constitutes bullying. There may be the lives of such people and understand make so many VS in-jokes or everyday “drama” that we don’t why they are doing it. payments using understand. The key is always how a young your mobile, handing person feels about it. Something that began How can I increase my child’s awareness a contracted phone as a joke online may become hurtful: humour of cyberbullying? over to someone can be lost with no face-to-face interaction. A good way to broach the subject is to ask else – including There are bound to be times when your child what they would do if they ever your child – is a bit adolescents feel excluded; online games or saw someone being bullied online or offline, like giving them social media platforms can exacerbate this talking to them about not being a bystander your bank card and sense of being left out. The key, again, is to and being kind to others. PIN. Make sure you take your lead from your child. But harassing You can let them know that you will always set up appropriate Fiction someone or sharing their personal data be there to listen and help if they ever have controls on your With so many scare stories about without permission is definitely not OK. a problem, worry or concern, and encourage child’s handset and them to think about their support network be careful about cyberbullying, it’s not surprising What should I do if I think my child is inside and outside school as well. The best thing sharing devices. being bullied online? you can do as a parent is to keep talking to your bit.ly/VF_controls that parents can feel overwhelmed. Believe and listen to them, praise them for child so that they know they can always come Our Q&A helps to shed some light… speaking out and remember you are not the to you when they need support or advice. 28 vodafone.com/parents 29

DPG_2015_p28-29_v5.3.indd 28 03/09/2015 13:59 DPG_2015_p28-29_v5.4.indd 29 04/09/2015 12:48 CHILDREN’S APPS 10 apps for the under 10s

by Stuart Dredge, freelance journalist for The Guardian, Music Ally and Apps Playground

Apple’s App Store and Toca Hair Salon 2 (£2.29) Star Walk Kids (£2.29) Doctor Who: the Doctor Tynker (Freemium) Frozen: Story Theater GooglePlay are full of iOS / Android iOS / Android and the Dalek (Free) iOS / Android (£3.99) 1Developer Toca Boca has 2 If you’re searching for an 3 iOS / Android 4 There’s more coding in 5 iOS / Android creative, educational and become one of the most trusted app that gets your children out Not all children are comfortable Tynker, which concentrates Children’s mania for all things children’s app brands, and Toca into the fresh air looking at the watching Doctor Who from the on giving children a taste of Frozen shows no sign of abating, playful apps for children. Hair Salon 2 is a creative treat. It world around them, Star Walk Kids sofa (or even behind it), but this programming. They start by and this official app is a way for If you’re getting started gets children to play hairdresser is a great option. It’s an astronomy engaging spin-off game certainly working their way through kids to get creative with their for six colourful characters who app designed for children: they isn’t scary. It has Doctor Who hundreds of programming favourite characters from Disney’s and want to find suitable are happy to have their barnets can hold up their device to the rebuilding a broken Dalek in order puzzles, which use a simple film. The app gets children to software for your kids, trimmed, dyed, crimped and stars and learn about the solar to battle against a host of aliens system of visual coding blocks. choose a character from Elsa, let us guide you to some back-combed however your child system, constellations and across a series of action-packed The packs of puzzles are bought Anna, Olaf and friends, put them Share the likes. The more they play, the more everything else they’ll see in levels. And there’s also an as in-app purchases, and once in a location and add props, fun with My of the best available for ideas they’ll have – although be the night skies. Serious science, educational angle. Upgrading the kids feel confident, they can use before recording their own voice warned, they may want to practise presented in a fun, accessible way. Dalek involves completing puzzles the app’s Workshop section telling a completely new story. It’s Tech Family younger ones. Note that on you in the real world! based on simple computer- to design their own games to like a virtual puppet theatre and is “freemium”means an app programming tasks, which gives play and share. delightful to play. kids a good taste of coding. It’s easy to become absorbed is free to download but in personal devices, enjoying has in-app purchases content or playing games on your own. My Tech Family helps families start sharing technology by helping them find fun things to do together. It’s a great way to get involved in your child’s digital life and find out what they love so much about their devices. Get started by taking the digital learning style quiz ? Marble Math Junior Night Zookeeper (Free) Me Books (Freemium) Endless Reader Snow White by Nosy together to find out what DID YOU KNOW ? (£2.29) iOS / Android iOS / Android (Freemium) Crow (£3.99) sort of digital learner your 6 iOS / Android 7 This blends creativity, gaming 8 This is the app equivalent 9 iOS / Android 10 iOS child is. Then experiment with Developed in the US – you may and education in the form of a zoo of a bookshop, featuring stories This is one of the most playful Alongside Toca Boca, Nosy Crow the New Things to Try list to Many free apps have advertisements have guessed that from the title full of magical animals. Children have and comics with familiar names early-reading apps available, with has become one of the best-loved help them discover different for paid services. Clicking on them can – this is one of the most accessible to complete drawing missions based – from Peppa Pig and Elmer a colourful troupe of monsters app brands for both children and ways to enjoy technology activate in-app purchases, paid-for maths apps for children. It gets on the story, creating digital books to Angry Birds and Ladybird – acting out words in animated parents, thanks to its carefully and broaden their online competition entries, subscriptions and them to roll a marble around and playing a simple strategy game as well as new writers and skits. Children are required to crafted fairy-tale apps. Snow White repertoire. Understanding other charges. Make sure your child various levels and solve maths to defend the zoo from attackers. illustrators. You choose which drag letters into place to spell is the latest and best: it retells the what they enjoy about the knows to be careful where they click, problems while they do it – rolling A wonderful way to get children ones you want to buy from the them out. The app comes with story with beautiful animation, technology will help you to and consider disabling in-app over numbers in order from the excited about scribbling and stories. in-app store, then your children six words free and the option for voice narration from children and guide them to appropriate purchases on young children’s largest to smallest, for example. If you play this on Android devices, can read the stories and record parents to pay for extra word packs interactive tasks that underpin apps and online services phones (see p42). Parents can customise the app via your browser, make sure you set their own narration. It’s a neat as in-app purchases. They’re well children’s reading, rather than and help you find out bit.ly/VFmob_apps to make the puzzles easier or up suitable parental controls to keep feature that encourages them worth the money, too. distract them from it. You and they what they do online. more difficult. your child safe online (see p37). to practise reading out loud. will want to read it again and again. digitalstylequiz.co.uk

30 vodafone.com/parents 31

DPG_2015_p30-31_v5.1.indd 30 03/09/2015 14:01 DPG_2015_p30-31_v5.1.indd 31 03/09/2015 14:02 ABUSE

Heartbreak is a normal, albeit painful, part of adolescence, but abuse is never acceptable. Here are some thoughts on how to help your child avoid abusive relationships – Abuse and control in and how to respond if they become involved in one

teenage relationships by Dr Elly Hanson, clinical If your child is experiencing abuse What makes a psychologist and consultant Discuss the situation with your child, good relationship to the Child Exploitation and listening carefully to how they feel. Draw Online Protection Centre out their hopes and values and highlight how accommodating abuse can confl ict Equality buse can involve one-off serious acts with these things. Be aware that it can be Relationships work but is more often a pattern in which diffi cult to withdraw from a relationship best and are happiest A one or both people hurt, humiliate and immediately – feelings of love and longing when both people control the other physically, emotionally, sexually towards a partner can persist, even if they’re see themselves as and/or through technology. It’s most worrying treating us badly. So try to empathise with equally important when it is more one-sided, with one party your child while discussing the consequences and treat each other exercising their power over the other. Victims of giving in to strong feelings and exploring in line with that. of abuse can suffer low self-confi dence, poor the other options they have available. concentration, sleeping problems and general Parents can end up feeling frustrated and Empathy anxiety, any one of which can lead to them even blaming their child if they don’t seem to They also work missing out on opportunities. be trying to protect themselves from further best when partners A study of teenagers in relationships shows abuse. In such situations, try to process your think and care about that 22% of 14- to 17-year-old girls and 12% feelings by talking to other people and avoid one another’s feelings of boys report some form of physical violence expressing them to your child – they need to and look out for from a partner, with 41% of girls and 14% of boys feel your support and availability. one another. suffering sexual violence. Most young people Beyond conversation, make an effort to who experience abuse don’t tell their parents, spend time with them and support their Space even when it’s causing diffi culties. Some relationships with other friends and family. Spending time apart situations increase the risk of abuse, like girls Find ways to boost their self-confi dence, and with other friends going out with much older boys or men, or peer which can help to counteract the messages and family is important groups that link popularity with aggression or of abuse. And last, talk to people involved for getting the most being sexually pushy. Physical and emotional in your child’s education and care, sharing out of life and even violence at home can also contribute. information and ideas, and explore resources the relationship. such as those listed, left. A place to begin Communication Abuse can happen to anyone, but you can If your child is behaving abusively Talking about diffi cult help to lower the chances your child will There are several things you can do to feelings arising in the experience abuse or, indeed, behave abusively. intervene. First, look at what might be relationship is key and First, whether or not your child has a boyfriend contributing – it could be alcohol, stress or usually most useful or girlfriend, chat with them about what good pressure from a peer group that glamorises when feelings aren’t at Resources relationships involve and what kinds of behaviour negative behaviour – and think of ways their most intense, for are never OK, like trying to control or pressurise to tackle those things. If peers are involved, example, after talking someone. Discussing TV programmes and media challenge their attitudes where possible and to someone else fi rst. For parents stories can be a good way in. It can also be helpful help your child understand how their own Family Lives to talk about imaginary scenarios, for example values and empathy are incompatible with bit.ly/FL_abuse what they would do if they noticed a friend being what is happening; it’s also worth asking abused. Be open and curious about their views. their school (or sports club etc) for help. For young people Once you’ve covered the basics, help your child When you talk to your child, draw attention This is Abuse to consider how they might deal with common to positive role models and emphasise the bit.ly/this_is_abuse strains on teenage relationships, like jealousy and strength involved in resisting attitudes and The Hide Out trying to impress others, again using fi ction and practices that put people down. Highlight the bit.ly/hideouthome real-life examples. Encourage them to come up ways in which nastiness and disrespect lead with their own ideas. to everyone missing out in life. It might also For people Living out positive ideals in your own be useful for your child to get further help in behaving abusively relationships, while admitting your own fl aws developing a positive identity or in managing Respect UK in this respect, will help your child to develop confl ict and diffi cult emotions; mentoring is respect.uk.net an awareness of what to aim for. Above all, often a good option. spend time together, check in with them Lastly, in both scenarios, contacting the For online abuse regularly about how they’re doing and help police or social services can feel like a big ThinkuKnow them to build a strong sense of self-esteem step, but it is important if crimes are being thinkuknow.co.uk based around various parts of their life. committed or a child is at risk. 32 Illustration by Tom Haugomat vodafone.com/parents 33

DPG_2015_p32-33_v5.3.indd 32 03/09/2015 14:03 DPG_2015_p32-33_v5.3.indd 33 03/09/2015 14:03 SEXTING DIGITAL FOOTPRINT Let’s talk about sexting Latest research has found that adults are more likely to send naked selfi es than young people. But sexting is also on the increase among teens by Kate Burls, Education Team Coordinator at the National Crime Agency, CEOP Command

What goes online stays online Our guide to making sure that what your child posts today isn’t going to cause regret in 10 years’ time by Lucy Doyle, Writer at Parentinfo.org

he selfi e has become a global phenomenon, and it’s not just How can I keep my child safe? T young people who are at it. Popstars, politicians and even the If you fi nd out your child has sent digital Encourage your child to think about Build a positive Pope now regularly share images of Get the knowledge you need or shared a revealing selfi e… footprint is what content they upload – and where digital legacy themselves on social media. You might A a record of even have posted a few yourself. the information you But along with the rise of the selfi e Make time to learn from your child about Stay calm and talk to your child. Try to see the put online – which Images and videos The best way of having has come growing concern about young the apps, games and websites they use. situation from their point of view. Make sure might include images, Suggest to your child that they may want to a digital footprint people sharing photos or videos of they know that you’re not angry and don’t comments on forums, think twice about posting content they wouldn’t you’re happy with themselves without their clothes on, Watch CEOP’s series of short fi lms blame them; they’re probably feeling very tweets, Facebook want just anyone – like grandparents or a future is to be productive also known as sexting. This is not just Nude Selfi es: What Parents Need to Know anxious about what you’ll think or say. updates and vlog or employer – to see. At the very least, they may and creative online. a youth issue: over-18s are far more blog posts. What goes want to adjust their privacy settings. Some young Even if compromising likely to sext than young people. But Don’t wait for something to happen Contact CEOP if you have any concerns online stays online, people are very good at managing different kinds content is out there, it is especially risky for young people. before you talk to your child about grooming, sexual abuse or exploitation. so everyone needs of content for different audiences. Help younger it can be buried by Research led by our partners at the to understand that children understand that everything online has the positive stuff. University of Edinburgh shows that many Contact your child’s school. They can they’re creating the potential to become public. Talk to them Encourage children young people initially send pictures to As soon they’re old enough (some children support your child and discuss the issue with an impression of about the different things they tell friends and to get creative. If they someone they trust, like a boyfriend or have shared risky selfi es while still in primary students who have seen or shared the image. themselves that adults and what information they are happy for like writing, they could girlfriend – often as a way of fl irting or school) talk to your child about the risks of is as important as others to see. Parents: before uploading pictures start a blog. Or if they’re experimenting before they become sharing revealing selfi es, and explain that they Report the image to social networks it their reputation of your child, consider how they might feel, now into photography, sexually active. Sometimes sharing should never be forced into doing so. Make this appears on, so that they will take it down. in the real world. and in the future. they could post their a revealing selfi e makes them feel good part of a positive ongoing conversation about pictures online. When about themselves. Sometimes it’s just relationships, sex and growing up. Report the image to the Internet Watch Words they reach their teens, a bit of a laugh. Foundation if you need their help removing Venting on social media when you’re angry photos or videos of Whatever the reason, it’s important Remind your child that when they meet it from a site without a Report function. or upset is usually a bad idea. Posting negative them doing positive for them to understand that once they’ve people online, they can’t be sure who they comments on other people’s pages can things, like performing hit the Send button they’ve lost control really are, so it’s not safe to share personal Nude Selfi es: What Parents Need to Know be hurtful and doesn’t show the poster in or playing sports, can of that picture. Often it goes no further, pictures or information with them. bit.ly/think_u_know a particularly good light. help to create a lively but in some cases it can have severe National Crime Agency, CEOP Command Remind your child that if they’re quarrelling online presence. consequences, including anxiety, low Make sure your children know that they ceop.police.uk with a friend, it’s always best to speak to them self-esteem, bullying and an increased can always come to you if they’re worried Internet Watch Foundation in person and never to have an argument risk of being approached by adults about anything, that you will understand iwf.org.uk over social media. Even if a message is kept seeking sexual contact online. and that you will not be angry or blame them. private, it’s easy to misinterpret it on a screen.

34 vodafone.com/parents 35

DPG_2015_p34-35_v5.1.indd 34 03/09/2015 14:04 DPG_2015_p34-35_v5.1.indd 35 03/09/2015 14:05 THE DIGITAL NATIVE HOW TO

“Using digital technologies in pre-school Our guide Don’t assume doesn’t always translate into they know what high levels of to parental they’re doing digital skill in your teens” controls and

It’s true that children and young people are more likely to go online tools to help regularly. But younger generations show signifi cantly different levels of skills and ways of using the internet. Rather depressingly, keep children these differences often relate to age-old factors such as gender and socio-economic status. Important new dividing lines have also safe online emerged, such as whether or not children have easy home by Vicky Prior, Editor of Vodafone Digital Parenting internet access or only go online website, vodafone.com/parents in a monitored way at school. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the most sophisticated young internet users are those who have high quality internet access at home Browsers Video Devices Reporting and use it regularly. Operating Search websites Social ISPs concerns Does it matter? Can the term systems engines media digital native do any real harm? Well, it just might. First, using the term means ignoring the injustice of the fact rotecting your child online Although parental controls and that once again socio-economic might sometimes feel like a other online tools are very useful By Victoria Nash, which I suppose as a parent over inequalities limit the opportunities P long and complicated journey. you should bear in mind that they Deputy Director 40 means me. But are my children we want all children to enjoy. It’s no longer just a case of setting might not always be 100% effective. of the Oxford necessarily digital natives? Is it Second, there’s a real danger that parental controls on your family Furthermore, tech-savvy kids are Internet Institute helpful to think of them in this way? we organise things to suit the computer – you also need to think increasingly adept at finding their way And are we parents inherently needs of digital natives, only to about their smartphone, tablet, round them. So it’s important that atching a tiny three- or more incompetent internet users? leave behind those who fail to games console and other devices, you also continue to have regular four-year-old confi dently The answer on all counts is no. fi t the mould. both at home and outside the conversations with your child about W swipe a fi nger over Consider, for example, the The concept of the digital native house. While parental controls what they do online and set your own an iPad, you could be forgiven question of skill. Certainly, there’s fi rst arose in education. But do we on your broadband connection will family rules. Agreed boundaries go for thinking that using digital an advantage in learning skills at want our schools assuming that help to protect them at home, they a long way in the digital world. technology comes naturally to an early age. But just as my school all children can already use the will need protection if they use public those under 20. The current tennis lessons never made up for internet confi dently? Or the wifi or log on from their phone or You can find more detailed guides generation of kids have been using my lack of hand-eye coordination, government assuming that all tablet at a friend’s or relative’s house. for some of the tools mentioned the internet since they were barely so using digital technologies in young people can and will access in this section on the Vodafone out of the cradle, so you might pre-school doesn’t always translate benefi ts and training online? In the next eight pages we’ll guide Digital Parenting website. assume they’d be better at it into high levels of digital skill in Last, but not least, it matters you through various parental controls bit.ly/VFdigitalparenting than those of us old enough your teens. Studies by the Oxford because it does a disservice to all and other online tools available to to remember when loading a Internet Institute and LSE have parents, who deserve to have more help your family have a safer and webpage was a special occasion. found that differences in levels of confi dence in our abilities to more private online experience. The idea of digital natives has digital skills or ability to use the engage with our children online – taken hold, along with a belief that internet aren’t primarily about whether that’s in trying to keep older people are digital immigrants, which generation you belong to. them safe or seeing them soar.

36 vodafone.com/parents 2737

DPG_2015_p36-37_v5.1.indd 26 27/08/2015 19:08 DPG_2015_p36-37_v5.0.indd 27 25/08/2015 16:36 HOW TO

Safety Parental Third party controls controls in parental on search your web controls Parental engines browser

controls BING INTERNET EXPLORER You might decide to turn to a dedicated parental control solution Logoto help Usage you block Guidelines inappropriate 1. Click the gear icon in the top right. Windows 7 and Vista content – some are free and on your 2. Go to Settings/General. 1. Click the gear icon in the top others you’ll need to pay for. If 3. Choose either Strict, right of your browser window you already have a security suite Moderate or Off for SafeSearch. and select Internet options. on your computer, check whether bing.com Clear space2. Select the Content tab, then The "N" symbolit includes parental controls. computer’s click Enable in the Content Advisor section. GOOGLE 3. Next, choose from the ®list operating of categories you’d like to block (eg Language, Nudity, Violence) 1. Click Settings in the bottom and adjust the slider to choose ™ right, then Search Settings. the level of restriction. system 2. Tick the Turn on SafeSearch 4. You can also go into the Approved NET NANNY box on the next screen. HorizontalSites lockup: tab to allow specifi c websites. bit.ly/NNcontrols WINDOWS 3. To lock SafeSearch, you’ll need 5. Finally, select the General tab to For most applications the horizontal treatment of the The "N" symbol can be used independently to sign in to your Google/Gmail logo should beset used. up anAmple administrator white space password equal to the so in applications where the full wordmark is account and follow the instructions. height of the no-oneuppercase else "N" can will helpchange maintain the settings. the too long and cumbersome. It must always be Using Microsoft Family on your 3. Assign the child an email address. google.com integrity of thebit.ly/IEcontentadvisor logo. The logo must always be accompied with the trademark indicator, with Both Windows and Mac OS X device, you can manage when your 4. Manage the settings for your accompied with the registration indicator. the exeption of as app icons. child can log into their account and children on the Family Safety website. Windows 8 and above have built-in parental controls which programs are appropriate for bit.ly/windows_safety YAHOO The content advisor functionality so that you can do things them to use. The controls also filter is embedded in the Microsoft NORTON FAMILY web content and provide reports of Family settings. bit.ly/nortonfamily like restrict your child’s web your child’s computer and web- MAC OS X 1. Sign in to your Yahoo account. bit.ly/windows_safety access, set time limits and browsing activity. To activate them 2. Enter a search term in the on your device, follow the steps search box then click Search. ® block specific programs below and then use Microsoft’s You can block specific apps, websites 3. From the search results, CHROME Family Safety website to manage and messages, set time limits and hover over the gear icon the boundaries. deny access to the built-in camera then click Preferences. on your family computer. To enable yahoo.co.uk A Supervised User account lets you Windows 8.1, Windows RT 8.1 parental controls: Vertical lockup:block websites you don’t want your 1. Make sure that your child has been 1. In System Preferences, click In certain circumstanceschild to use a stackedand to versionsee the of pages the logo set up with their own user account. Parental Controls and then select may be needed.they’ve visited. MCAFEE FAMILY 2. Select Is this a Child’s Account? the lock icon. 1. In the top right of your browser PROTECTION 3. Decide if you would like your child 2. Enter your administrator name window, click the Chrome menu bit.ly/mcafee_controls to have an email address and follow and password, select a user (you’ll icon, then click Settings. the instructions accordingly. need to set your child up with their 2. Under Users, click Add Person

4. You’ll then be able to manage own user profile if they haven’t 5 and choose a picture and name ©2012 ContentWatch. All rights reserved their account from Microsoft’s already got one), then click Enable for the new user. Family Safety website. Parental Controls. 3. Tick Control to create a supervised bit.ly/MicrosoftFamilySafety 3. To set restrictions, follow the TOP TIP account, then click Add. You’ll same process then click the relevant You can access privacy receive an email which will help you Windows 10 tabs along the top – Apps, Web, and safety settings using set up restrictions and review the 1. Add a child to your family People, Time Limits and Other the gear icon in many new user’s browsing history. through the Accounts functionality. (eg use of the built-in camera). search engines and bit.ly/chrome_controls 2. Click Add a Family Member. bit.ly/OSX_controls social media apps. Select Add a Child.

38 vodafone.com/parents 39

DPG_2015_p38-39_v5.3.indd 38 03/09/2015 14:06 DPG_2015_p38-39_v5.3.indd 39 03/09/2015 14:06 HOW TO

SNAPCHAT Safe mode on programme page. When you press play on a G-rated programme on video websites your mobile, tablet or computer, Snapchat has two privacy settings: you will have the option to set up one for who can send your child parental guidance. Safety Snaps and another for who can YOUTUBE view their Stories. On a computer 1. To change these privacy settings, 1. To set your PIN, hit the Play button tap the gear icon in the top right of 1. To set up YouTube’s Restricted and if you’re over 16 select Confi rm, and the Profi le screen to access Settings. Mode on a computer, scroll to the then Continue. 2. To change Who Can Send Me bottom of any page, click the drop- 2. When prompted, turn on Lock and Snaps within Settings, tap Send Me down menu in the Safety section enter a four digit PIN and press Play. Snaps and choose either Everyone and select On. If you’d like Restricted privacy or My Friends. Mode to be enabled for anyone using On a mobile or tablet 3. To change Who Can View My your browser, don’t forget to lock it. 1. To set your PIN, hit the Play button Stories within Settings, tap View My 2. To set up Restricted Mode on a and select the option Set Up Parental Story and select either Everyone, smartphone, expand the menu in the Guidance. controls My Friends or Custom. top left and tap the gear icon (iOS) 2. When prompted, confi rm you 4. Any changes will be saved when or Menu, then Settings and General are over 16, enter a four digit PIN, you press the back button. (Android). Next, select Restricted set a secret answer to aid password on social bit.ly/SC_privacy Mode Filtering and choose between recovery and press Activate. Strict or Don’t Filter (iOS) or under 3. Each time you watch something Restricted Mode, tick the box to that isn’t suitable for kids, you’ll be enable it (Android). asked to enter your PIN again. If your networks bit.ly/YT_safety family uses more than one device or web browser to watch BBC iPlayer, FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER you’ll need to set a PIN for each. bit.ly/iplayer_lock

Facebook’s privacy settings let Users can set their posts to private. Users can protect their tweets so Blocking The main social network users control who sees their 1. Go to the user’s profi le by they are only visible to the Twitter posts and timeline. selecting the person icon. followers they have approved. How unsuitable NETFLIX providers offer lots of tools 1. Click or tap Account at the top 2. Then choose the gear icon (iOS) you do it depends on the device and resources to help of any page and select Privacy or the three dots icon (Android) and that you’re using. TV, fi lm and Settings in the drop-down menu turn on the Private Account setting. 1. On a computer, go to Security and There are four maturity levels in younger users have a safer for further instructions. 3. You can also block and remove Privacy Settings and scroll down to radio content Netfl ix parental controls: Little and more private online 2. To block another user, select followers by tapping their user the Tweet Privacy section. Tick the Kids, Older Kids, Teens and Adults. the gear icon to the right of their name, then the three dots icon box next to Protect My Tweets and In each case parents can set up a experience. Be aware that timeline, then select Report/Block. and selecting Block User. click the blue Save button. How can you avoid your primary dedicated profi le in which only TV each of them stipulates 3. To report abusive or offensive bit.ly/IG_tips4parents 2. On a smartphone, go to Me and schooler watching an episode series and fi lms that are suitable for content, click or tap Report select the gear icon (iOS) or the of Breaking Bad while you’re out the specifi ed age range will appear. that users should be at near the post, timeline or page. overfl ow icon (Android). Select of the room? The main providers 1. To activate parental controls, least 13 years old bit.ly/FB_security Settings and choose the account offer parental controls to block log in to your Netfl ix account on you’d like to edit. For iOS devices, inappropriate programmes and fi lms. a computer, go to Your Account go to Protect My Tweets and tap then select Manage Profi les. On. For Android devices, go to Other 2. Set up a separate profi le for and tick the Tweet privacy box. BBC iPLAYER your child, click Edit, then change bit.ly/TW_help the parental control setting in the drop-down menu. The Parental Guidance Lock lets 3. It can take up to eight hours for you control which BBC content your changes to parental controls to child can access. If a programme has take effect – if you sign out of TOP TIP been fl agged with parental guidance your account and back in again, TOP TIP Encourage your child to (for violence, sex or strong language), this may speed up the process. On many platforms you can use strong passwords – it will feature a clear label and a 4. Be aware that you can’t lock access safety and privacy a combination of upper case G symbol. On a computer, mobile these settings – your child can controls via the and lower case letters, and tablet device you’ll see a red switch to another profi le and use that. three dots icon. symbols and numbers. bar containing the G symbol on the bit.ly/NF_controls

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Parental controls on your child’s How can devices Smartphones and tablets Vodafone Games ANDROID™ WINDOWS PHONE help? consoles

1. To set up a restricted user account 1. Go to the Windows Phone website Vodafone Guardian helps to protect Many children and teenagers enjoy restrict games, apps and fi lms by age On a smartphone, tablet on an Android smartphone or tablet, and select My Family. your child from inappropriate calls, playing on games consoles. As well as rating. And on PlayStation 4 (PS4) you go to Settings and select Users in the 2. Sign in using your own Microsoft messages and online content. Simply being fun, some experts say gaming can also disable video and voice chat. or games console, you Device section. account (if you don’t have an account, download the free app from Google helps to improve their refl exes and For more information and step- can use parental controls 2. Tap Add User or Profile, then you can create one). Play and customise the various keep their brains active. But it also by-step guides to setting up parental select Restricted Profile and enter 3. Click Get Started on the My Family settings. You’ll be asked to enter a has its risks. Young people sometimes controls for gaming, go to your to manage a range of the passcode. set-up page, and then click Go to add parent contact number so that you spend too long in front of the screen search engine and type in the name functions, including 3. Tap the round icon next to New your child’s name. receive a text if Vodafone Guardian is or access inappropriate content. And of your child’s games console (eg Profile to change the name of the 4. Enter the Microsoft account your deactivated and when an emergency if they take part in multiplayer gaming “PlayStation”, “Nintendo”, “Wii” or access to websites, app profile, then tap OK. child uses to sign in on their phone. call is made. they might be contacted by strangers. “Xbox”) + “parental controls UK”. stores and apps, as well 4. Go through the list of features 5. To change the app download Vodafone Content Control helps to If your child is a keen gamer, you’ll your child can access and, using settings, click your child’s name prevent young people from accessing be pleased to know that the main as location services and the toggle buttons, choose whether on the My Family homepage, click inappropriate content and services, games consoles include parental in-app purchases you’d like them on or off. Change Settings and choose from such as violent games, adult content controls to help you manage which android.com the options provided. and gambling websites. games they play, how long they can bit.ly/WinPhone_support Go to the Vodafone website to log play for and whether they can play in to or register your online account against other people. For example, iOS and turn on Content Control. Please safety features on Xbox One let you note, it works only on the Vodafone TOP TIP network and not on wifi . Not all public wifi (eg in cafes) 1. To enable restrictions on your vodafone.co.uk has web fi lters so you’ll need child’s iPhone or iPad, tap Settings, TOP TIP to make sure you protect General, Enable Restrictions and You can set up parental controls TOP TIP your child’s mobile devices enter a passcode. for app stores on your child’s If you’re worried that a stranger when they leave the house. 2. Decide which features you’re happy device to prevent them from has contacted your child and However, you can be sure that for your child to access and, using the purchasing or downloading acted inappropriately towards access is safe in locations that toggle buttons, turn the rest off. apps inappropriate for their age. them, turn to page 45 for advice display the bit.ly/iOS_support bit.ly/GP_controls on how to report it to the police Friendly WiFi bit.ly/App_store_controls and other authorities. symbol.

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REPORT YOUR CONCERNS TO 10 OF THE MAIN ONLINE SERVICE PROVIDERS

Ask FM Instagram Abusive or Harmful. To report Report If your child comes across To report a post, tap the a user’s profi le, click or tap inappropriate content on three dots below it, then the gear icon on their profi le online Ask.fm, click the fl ag next select Report Inappropriate and follow the same process. to the post and select the and follow the instructions. In both cases, you’ll be asked concerns reason why it’s inappropriate. There’s more information at to provide more information. safety.ask.fm Instagram’s Privacy and bit.ly/TW_help Safety Center, which you can Parental BT Parental Controls come free Virgin Media’s Web Safe works on If something does go wrong online, Disney Club Penguin access via its Help Center. Vodafone with any BT broadband package. any device that is connected to its you need to know what action you To report a mean or bit.ly/IGhelpcenter To report inappropriate There are three pre-set filters, home network. Provided free in can take. As with any concerns you inappropriate player, just content or conduct related plus the option to create your broadband packages, it includes might have about your child, you’ll click on their Penguin Moshi Monsters to your child’s Vodafone controls own and even set filters for certain Child Safe, which helps to block have your own way of talking about avatar and then the M To report an inappropriate mobile, click on Contact times. As well as safeguarding any websites unsuitable for younger it with them and dealing with it. For icon. This action will alert pinboard message and Us at the bottom of the device connected to your BT Hub users, and Virus Safe, which blocks more serious digital issues, you might the dedicated moderating remove it from public view, Vodafone website to see at home, BT Parental Controls work websites that may have viruses also feel that you need to report it. team, who will then click the X or M button your options. on your at BT wifi hotspots (eg in cafes). and other security issues. Here we give you an overview investivate and take on the message. bit.ly/VFsupport bit.ly/BTParentalControls bit.ly/VM_security of the main ways you can report action where necessary. bit.ly/MM_help inappropriate (eg bullying) and bit.ly/CPsafety YouTube home potentially illegal online content. PlayStation If you think a video violates While reporting content to an online Facebook You can report unwelcome YouTube’s Community service provider doesn’t guarantee Facebook has tools for messages via the XMB menu. Guidelines, you can fl ag it by it will be removed, many of them take reporting inappropriate Under Friends, select the clicking on the More button internet safety and security very seriously so behaviour, including message on PS3, or highlight below the video player, then they will investigate and take the suspected grooming, on the message you’d like to highlighting and clicking the appropriate action. every piece of content. report on PS4. Press the Report button in the It’s worth bearing in mind that bit.ly/FB_report Triangle button, and select drop-down menu. You’ll then making a formal report could help Grief Report on PS3, or need to click on the reason Sky Broadband Shield works on Parental controls are available improve the experience for all users Google Submit Grief Report on PS4. for fl agging the video and Did you know that all devices connected to your to anyone with a Vodafone of that service and may also help If you’ve set up Google bit.ly/PS_Grief_Reporting provide further details. Sky home broadband and comes Broadband service and protect to protect other young people Safe Search but your bit.ly/YT_fl agging many internet service at no extra cost. You can choose all devices connected to your from worry and harm. If you sense child is still able to access Twitter providers in the UK offer between three age categories home network. Once you’ve that your child or another child inappropriate content, To report an abusive post, (PG, 13 and 18) or customise the opted in, the controls prevent is in immediate danger, call 999 you can report it to Google click or tap the three dots free parental controls? If protection according to your needs. access to inappropriate online or contact your local police. for investigation. next to the tweet, select you’re a BT, Sky, TalkTalk The Watershed feature lets you content, such as violence and bit.ly/google_report Report and choose It’s set tighter controls at specific gambling, as well as to websites or Virgin Media customer, times of the day, when your child that could pose security threats. you can decide which might be online. bit.ly/VF_safety kind of online content bit.ly/skybroadbandshield REPORT YOUR CONCERNS TO THE POLICE AND OTHER AUTHORITIES your family can access. National Internet Watch ParentPort As you have to choose to Crime Agency, Foundation To report switch on these controls, CEOP Command If anyone in your family something you’ve seen on CEOP is the child comes across online child TV, online, in a fi lm, in an here’s a quick overview protection section of the sexual abuse or criminally advert, in a video game of each one and links National Crime Agency. obscene adult imagery, or in a magazine that is HomeSafe is free to all TalkTalk If someone has acted notify the Internet Watch unsuitable for children, to more information customers and lets you customise inappropriately towards Foundation. Reports are go to Make a Complaint. filtering preferences from nine INTERNET MATTERS your child or another confi dential and can be Select an option and different categories and block Launched in 2014, Internet THE PARENT ZONE young person online (eg made anonymously. Click follow the instructions. individual websites. The Homework Matters provides advice for The Parent Zone can help engaged in sexual chat or Report Criminal Content parentport.org.uk Time tool restricts access to parents about online safety with any parents’ dilemmas insisted on meeting up), Here and follow the content that might distract children and a range of other issues and queries, including those you should report them on-screen instructions. during core homework hours. relating to digital technology. about technology. directly to CEOP. iwf.org.uk bit.ly/TTprotect_your_family internetmatters.org theparentzone.co.uk bit.ly/CEOP_report

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DPG_2015_p44-45_v5.1.indd 44 03/09/2015 14:10 DPG_2015_p44-45_v5.1.indd 45 03/09/2015 14:10 References Glossary Acknowledgements

4G – a mobile communications search engine – a tool, such Vodafone would standard (preceded by 3G) that as Google or Bing, that indexes like to thank allows quicker internet access millions of websites and searches from a smartphone or tablet. them so that you can find everyone who information when you enter helped to make the app or application – a software a word or phrase. program that can run on computers magazine possible, and mobile devices, allowing users selfie – a picture of yourself, especially the to play games, read news, use social usually taken on a smartphone, network sites and so on; not part of that you might commonly post expert contributors the operating system software. on social media. and the following

broadband – a high-speed sexting – the exchange of sexually organisations: internet connection. Types of explicit photos and/or messages via broadband include ADSL (which text, email or Bluetooth. Childnet uses copper phone lines), cable Computing at School Online vulnerability, p5 Mental health, p16 Bullying, p28 (fibre-optic cables) and 3G or 4G smartphone – a mobile phone that Diana Award A.K. Przybylski et al: A Shared Conception Statistics, England Digital Self-harm: Frequency, Type, (mobile broadband). performs many of the functions of a Gransnet Responsibility: Building Children’s and Wales, 2012 Motivations, and Outcomes computer. Smartphones typically Internet Watch Foundation Online Resilience (Office for National Statistics) (Massachusetts Aggression the cloud – a network of servers have a touchscreen and the ability London School of Economics (Oxford Internet Institute, The bit.ly/conception_stats Reduction Centre) that allows you to access online to connect to the internet as well as National Crime Agency, Parent Zone, Virgin Media) bit.ly/digitalselfharm services and store data remotely. an operating system that is capable CEOP Command bit.ly/onlineresilience Under Pressure: Childline Review of running downloaded apps. Oxford Internet Institute (NSPCC) The Malicious Communications Act digital native – a term that is Parentinfo.org Switching off, p7 bit.ly/NSPCC_underpressure (UK Government) often used to suggest that young streaming – playing online Quilliam Foundation Multitasking: Switching Costs bit.ly/MCA_1988 people understand computers multimedia files (audio or video) Scout Association (American Psychological Radicalisation, p18 better than older people (which without downloading them first. UK Council for Child Association) Islamic State: the Changing Face School Bullying is Nothing New, may not be true!). Internet Safety bit.ly/APA_multitasking of Modern Jihadism but Psychologists Identify New troll – a person who posts offensive, UK Safer Internet Centre (Quilliam Foundation) Ways to Prevent it instant messaging – a system off-topic or inflammatory comments Young Minds Internet safety, p10 bit.ly/modern_jihadism (American Psychological for exchanging typed messages online (known as trolling). One Week of Violent Video Game Association) in real time, using either a phone’s Play Alters Prefrontal Activity Online gaming, p26 bit.ly/APA_bullying text messaging system or a vlog – short for “video blog” (and Special thanks go (Radiological Society of North T. Byron: Safer Children in downloaded app, such as Snapchat “blog” is short for “web log”). Those to The Parent Zone America) a Digital World Abuse and control in teenage (where messages disappear after who post video blogs regularly bit.ly/RSNA_video_games (Department for Children, relationships, p32 a few seconds) or Whatsapp (where online are known as vloggers. for its invaluable Schools and Families) Incidence Rates and Impact of you can message groups). contribution to A.K. Przybylski et al: A Shared bit.ly/thebyronreview Experiencing Interpersonal Violence wifi – radio waves that let you Responsibility: Building Children’s and Abuse in Young People’s the internet – a global network get online without wires. Most Digital Parenting Online Resilience M. Elson and C.J. Ferguson: Relationships (Safeguarding connecting millions of computing computing and mobile devices (Oxford Internet Institute, The Twenty-five Years of Research Teenage Intimate Relationships) devices. now have built-in wifi receivers that Parent Zone, Virgin Media) on Violence in Digital Games bit.ly/STIR_abuse allow them to find and connect to bit.ly/onlineresilience and Aggression ISPs (internet service wireless routers. bit.ly/elson_ferguson Sexting, p34 providers) – companies that Social Media Pictures may Lead Self Produced Images: supply broadband services. the world wide web (or web) – to Negative Body Images C.S. Green and D. Bavelier: Risk Taking Online a system of servers hosting websites (University of Strathclyde) Effect of Action Video Games (Spirto) router – a hardware device that that can be accessed from a web For more parenting advice bit.ly/neg_body_images on the Spatial Distribution of bit.ly/spirto_sexting sends data from a local area network browser; forms part of the internet and inspiration, visit Visuospatial Attention to other connections, allowing only vodafone.com/parents Kinder communities, p13 bit.ly/green_bavelier The digital native, p36 authorised machines access. YouTube – a video sharing service Friendship in a Digital Age E. Helsper and R. Enyon: Digital that allows users to post and watch (UK Safer Internet Centre) A.K. Przybylski: Electronic Natives: Where is the Evidence? videos online. © Vodafone 2014-2016. Vodafone and the Vodafone logo are trade marks of the Vodafone Group. All rights bit.ly/digital_friendship Gaming and Psychosocial (LSE) reserved. Microsoft, MSN, Windows, Windows Live and Xbox are either registered trademarks or trademarks Adjustment, Pediatrics bit.ly/LSE_digital_natives of Microsoft Corporation in the United States and/or other countries. Other product and company names bit.ly/pediatrics_gaming mentioned herein may be the trade marks of their respective owners. The opinions stated in this document are the authors’ own and not necessarily those of the Vodafone Group. 46 vodafone.com/parents 47 “The Vodafone Foundation believes that communications technology can address some of the world’s most pressing issues. In an increasingly digital world, we understand the importance of educating people to understand the latest technologies, how they can be used safely and ultimately harnessed for the benefi t of society.” Andrew Dunnett Director of The Vodafone Foundation

The Vodafone Foundation operates in 27 countries around the world. The network of Foundations and social investment programmes are focused on combining charitable giving with technology and the expertise of the company to make a difference in the communities in which Vodafone operates. This approach is known as Mobile for Good. Under Mobile for Good, the Vodafone Foundation supports educational projects such as Digital Parenting to provide parents with information that will help them to understand the latest technologies and better support and protect their children in an increasingly digital world.

The Vodafone Foundation received recognition as a UK registered charity from the Charity Commission for England and Wales on 4 December 2001, UK registered charity number 1089625. For more information about the Vodafone Foundation visit Vodafone.com.

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