r'"------.;...__ ·---· - ~ - KoL HAMESHAKKER - *!EJ #' _PC$$8#'' The Jewish Thought Propaganders of T80'J PK/ CB" laPblcb Editors-in-Chief the Yeshiva University student Body 0 1 cd'=l/Gdeeb ! II #$ t&'{) *+'*, - *. I01Z3*4#5 1 ! II I +I (! **4 #0578go/o#Q2'78go/~
Associate Editors Sem Girl Says: A Testament To the (;IIOO.#S(F I ++I
1 Va-yikra 18:3, my translation. 2 As is customary for this publication.
This magazine contains words of Qefirah. Please treat it accordingly. Volume V, Issue 4 2 .. ; -·.... -. Back to the Jewish Future
This manuscript was found in an old time-warped cave by Ariel "archeologist" Krakowski, dating from the year 2219.
ArtScroll Talmud KiPshuto THE ARTSCROLL GEMARA: THE CLASSIC NEW YORK EDITION, WITH AN ANNOTATIVE INTERPRATIVE ILLUMINATED ENLIGHTENING ELUCIDATED EXPOSITION, AS AN AID TO ARTSCROLL TALMUD STUDY. No part of this volume may be reproduced © 2219 DesignBook IN ANY FORM - eiNK, HOLOGRAM, IMPLANTED SILICON CHIP, OR OTHERWISE. except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages or for a future superdupersupercommentatary. NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN THAT THE PUBLICATION OF THIS WORK INVOLVED EXTENSIVE RESEARCH FOR AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR AND WE HAVE LOTS OF LAWYERS. Haskamas HaGedolim The ArtScroll is Although people once learned the Talmud without an ArtScroll, due to Yeridas HaDoros we can no longer understand the Talmud without the words of ArtScroll to the soul, explain it. Even ArtScroll itself, with its difficult language and complicated concepts, is difficult to understand. Other books have tried explaining it quickly, without the inner proper respect. Therefore, there is no greater "Es La' asos" than now to explain the words of ArtScroll. It is also important to understand it in the original language in meaning which it was written and to keep the original Tzuras HaDaf [the original form of the page from when dried-tree books were used- Ed.]. of the laws. The Gedolim
The ArtScroll Publisher's Preface must be leamed, The ArtScroll Talmud consists of two components - Gemara and ArtScroll. One cannot understand Gemara without AitScroll. The ArtScroll is the soul, the inner and not merely meaning of the laws. Thus, the ArtScroll cannot be "translated," but rather it must be eluc;idated, enucleated, expatiated, explained, explicated and expounded. read. It is not the purpose of this edition of the ArtScroll to provide a substitute for the original text of ArtScroll or a detour around the classic manner of learning Gemara Doesn't that with ArtScroll. Its purpose is to help the student understand the ArtScroll itself and improve his ability to learn from the original, preferably under the guidance of a sound profound Rebbe. The ArtScroll must be learned, and not merely read. As clear and great and wonderful as we believe our vernacular elucidation to be, thanks to the dedicated in italics? and noble work of an exceptional brilliant team of Torah scholars, the reader must contribute to the process by himself. He must think, analyze, explore, investigate, and thus understand. This elucidation is far from a substitute for the original ArtScroll, or a shortcut to learning. Instead, it is intended to bring the student closer to the study of ArtScroll as it has been learned for centuries. The Editors M£GILLAH NIKREIS CHArTER ONE MEGJLLAH 8 4 • Megillah 4b ' same day as the Sabbath And this is the reason why we each of us do not hold9 ArtScroll explains that the person will go reading th<> M e;,~Uah on the Sabbath: Tl'1;> 1<~ n~w~ 1'11/Qt) ~< :rn 1<1:1'1~ , .,,~, - At any rnte, all t In the last passage in ArtScroll, all opinions the lulav when Succos falls out on takes to learn how to read the Megillah. However, ' l 'pnn~im mentioned abovl! agt"ee thlll we do uol read l held that the Megillah cannot be read on place on the same day as the Sabbath. The this raises the following issue: The Gemara ~l el(illah ou the Sabbath. :<)?~~ 'l
Volume V, Issue 4 ~.kolharnevaseLcorn 3 Kol Hamevaser
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BY: Hannah Dreyfus Ah, the seminary year. Mention it ·to · from the lips of our sagacious seminary conclusion, subjected any FTOC (true Freshmen are few and attendees, are recorded for the benefit of to rigorous analysis, far between, and, therefore, empirically the greater Jewish community. And, no must be valid. As irrelevant) and her eyes immediately doubt, for posterity. The insights recorded the deductive rule of glaze over in reminiscent nostalgia. It on this 'inconspicuous Face book page are logic, modus ponens, so is described as a year of unparalleled riveting, clearly products of the depth of parsimoniously affirms: enlightenment and growth.1 It is a year of insight for which seminary girls are so "If p then q. p, therefore delving into esoteric texts and enigmatic commonly known. Here, I have recorded q." As seen in the above existential qualms, with no background some of these penetrating remarks, example, anonymous of which to speak, but a piety so fierce so gratuitously dropped. I embark on seminary girl #1 applies that it makes up for any lack. It is a year a journey of analysis, attempting to this rudimentary of flaming zealousness and impassioned discover the greater ontological reasoning to the complex epiphany. It is year of skirts gaining topic of posthumous pleats an9- pleats gaining more pleats. It resurrection. If I am is year of rich stereotyping and offensive awesome, than 1 am generalizations. It is a year that marks My limited facilities the gilgul of someone awesome. knowledge or mystical enlightenment. your prospects for a future spouse as cannot hope to grasp the full am awesome. Therefore, [ am Clearly, this seminary girl has had more surely and indelibly as a permanent a gilgul of someone than her fair share of gnosis. She knows marker on a spotless whiteboard. It is a profundihj of these remarks. However, awesome. what color her friend's soul is. Need I year of rich indoctrination which, if all say more? Or, perhaps, she goes as planned, will last a lifetime. It is knowing of the ri_ch potential that is speaking is some sort of a year of hibernation in the Beit Midrash lies therein, I cannot but apply_ complex metaphor, the color (for all those over the Green Line, and, of ramifications purple known to be deeply course, MMY), and a year of piercing self of these statements. my mind to these jewels of human representative of majesty. awareness. My limited facilities cannot This comment makes it Who but the seminary girl can be found hope to grasp the full profundity of thought, these pearls ofhuman clear that this enlightened at the Western Wall in the dead of night, these remarks. However, knowing of the understanding. seminary specimen is shedding tears for her long lost Temple rich potential that lies therein, I cannot T h e not bound by the plebian and praying, voice rattling at the doors but apply my mind to these jewels of confluence of limitations of human of Heaven, for the return to Zion. She is human thought, these pearls of human exoteric . reasoning and perception. a blur of religious fervor, £rocking to and understanding. And so, dear reader, esoteric subject matter creates a fro on Ben Yehuda, bestowing agurot on embark with me on the intellectual journey statement that at once challenges and Overheard in the Rova: "How do you the needy, single-handedly supporting of a lifetime. enriches the mind. plug in a blender?" the Israeli economy and the frozen yogurt industry. Her benevolence indubitable; Overheard in Malcha: "I'm definitely Overheard in Manny's: "Sorry, do you Although I have spent much time trying her fidelity unquestioned. the gilgul of someone awesome. Because have this sefer in purple? It's a present to decode the profound ontological I'm awesome." and I want it to match her tteshamah." implications of this question, I have as yet But, above all else, it is a year of thought. been unsuccessful. I do welcome further In this brief but occult statement, A statement that at once touches upon suggestions. The multiplicity of meaning That is why the Facebook page "Sem Girl anonymous seminary girl #1 reveals the topic of the incorporeal, eternal soul abounds. Says" came as no surprise to the Jewish her knowledge of the arcane topic of and exposes the exceptionally caring community. On this epic contribution to the the gilgulim, the reincarnation of a soul nature of anonymous seminary girl #2. Overheard on the 15: "I heard Stern Facebook Empire, the many introspective, from a previous existence. As is clear Gnosis is the Greek noun for "knowledge." has like this, like, shidduch bus thing. astute comments, dropped ·so effortlessly from her sound syllogistic reasoning, her In context, gnosis refers to spiritual OMG! Can you imagine if, like, I meet
www.kolhamevaser.com Volume V, Issue 4 4 .,.
Back to the Jewish Future my husband on there?" From ·beneath fluttering lashes, seminary girl looks up and timorously restates From the Censorship Committee: The This statement hits very close to home. her question. His response leaves her A seemingly obvious sociological breathless: "Umm, is this where the 21 bus Case for Banning Massekhet Yevamot observation, this comment in fact reveals stops?" · the prophetic knowledge of its speaker. BY: Re'uven Ben-Shimon, Committee Chair Although Ruah ha-Kodesh, Divine spirit, Overheard on the btis: "I'm trying to was thought to be lost after the destruction find a street, but I forgot the name of it. I It has come to our attention that massekhet that it requires. of the First Temple, that clearly does not know that it starts with Rechov." Yevamot is inappropriate to learn in a This massekhet encourages a similar lack apply to seminary girls. Just examine the The seminary girl, as a collective, knows beit midrash. There are many concepts of sensitivity when it rules that in order facts: this individual has never even been how to provide information only most which are integral to the massekhet, yet to do yibbum, the dead man must have no to Stern College. And yet, she so adroitly pertinent and pressing when asking for are inappropriate for study by a ben or children.2 When discussing these cases, identifies the colloquially termed 'shuttle' directions. Here, she shyly approaches the bat Torah . We are afraid that learning students take for granted the fact that the by its official title (so termed by President bus-driver, not wanting to waste a minute this massekhet could pose a danger to man is childless, to the point that they do Joel and all other proponents of a YU of his time by asking a silly question. She the spiritual lives of our students, as it not even mention this clause in each case. eugenics initiative): "shidduch bus thing." rephrases the question over and over in could lead them to incorrect conclusions Such an attitude is problematic, however, How else could this seminary girl have her mind, wanting every word to matter. about what is valued in the model Jewish because there are many people who, known of the "shuttle's" true title and She arrives at this perfectly formulated society of Modern Orthodoxy. We would unfortunately, are unable to have children. purpose? There is no other conclusion but query-all content, no ambiguity. Just like to make you aware of the problems Students must be able to sympathize with direct Divine revelation. · precision of thought, and clearness of that learning this massekhet could cause, such individuals, instead of thinking so mind. There is no doubt that this individual and inform you of the steps that we will matter-of-factly about childlessness. Overheard in the Rova: "I really want will find the destination which she seeks; be taking to combat them. Another, and far more dangerous, to do that thing where you daven at the save the doubt that this girl doesn't even One major problem in the text is its problem with massekhet Yevamot is its Kotel for 40 days in a row because those realize just how lost she already is. frequent references to death, to the point widespread references to bi'ah. For stairs will make my legs so toned." that those who study this massekhet example, the Gemara states: With intentions of such unadulterated Overheard in the Rova: "I thought when become desensitized to the tragedy of It was taught in another Baraita: By purity and altruism, there is no doubt you step over the Green Line, you die?" people dying. Just yesterday, a member stating, "Her yavam shall cohabit her prayers will be answered. Just knock To all my dedicated Gush and Migdol of this committee walked into the with her," the Torah indicates that the knock knockin' on heaven's door. Oz alumni, perhaps you can contact this beit midrash and heard the following cohabitatio~ done in its natural manner concerned individual. Inform her that, conversation: effects yibbum. Thus, when the verse Overheard on the bus: "Nahag, ani . yes, indeed, when you step over the Green "Ok, so we have three brothers, Re' uven, continues: "And take her," it conveys tzricha laledet!" Line, you die. Do not pass go. Do not Shimon, and Levi. Re'uven dies." that even cohabitation that is not done This seminary jewel seems to be collect $200. 2 "No, that's not it, both Re'uven and in its natural manner effects yibbum.3 expressing her eschatological yearnings Shimon die." Mentioning bi' ah in such a blatantly in a very public manner. Although it Overheard in Neve Ya' akov: "Sometimes "But that can't make sense, we need to explicit manner is provocative and is rare to hear a seminary girl raise her when I'm in Target, and I see two non have two brothers left ... Oh, I get it. There distasteful. Yet this massekhet discusses voice above a timid whisper while aboard Jews together, I just wonder how they are four brothers, Re' uven, Shimon, Levi, it constantly, and this is even one of the any mode of public transportation, this know each other." and Yehudah. Re'uven and Shimon are milder examples! While one of the more individual was obviously too ridden with Am ehad, Lev ehad- this seminary girl is married to Rachel and Leah, who are provocative examples might demonstrate inner turmoil to contain herself. Here, she clearly referencing the mysterious oneness sisters, and then Re'uven and Shimon our point better, we would rather leave calls out to all who will listen, including of the Jewish people. Because of this both die. And then Rachel dies. Can your mind unexposed to such things. said driver: the birth pangs of the Messiah recognition, she is left unsure of how those Yehudah do yibbum with Leah?" l'magine what would happen if students have come! And who could have known, outside the patriarchal covenant know ''I have an idea- let's kill Levi off too. would learn this massekhet in the beit she would be the one to experience them! each other. A good question. Personally, Then what will happen?" midrash, and then continue their learning The depth and poignancy of her analogy, I've got nothing. There are many problems with this out into the streets. Passersby might so passionately vocalized, left listeners conversation, including, but not limited think that this is an acceptable topic to and readers alike speechless. The driver, And, with this treasure trove, I conclude: to, the fact that all sensitivity to the value broach in public! What would they say unable to bear the vast implications of her Overheard at the KOTEL: "So, which of human life has been lost. Since when about our institution? That it is a place message, gave her a dirty look in his rear way do we daven?" do God-fearing Jews talk about "killing where we are open about discussing such view mirror, muttered to himself about people off?" And yet, what is to be personal matters before it gets to Fox "stupid Americans," and kept driving. 1 The term "growth" commonly associ expected when the massekhet has passages News? Granted, the use of the term bi'ah ated with the seminary year remains de like the following?: does help, as it is a euphemism that no Overheard in Malcha:"What does the terminedly nebulous, despite its ubiquity. If his daughter's co-wife went and one understands unless he is learning this word "ma'afeh" mean and why is it However, contextual clues can lead one married his second brother, who also massekhet anyway. But mere euphemisms written on all the bakeries?" to believe that it either refers to the direct had another wife, and then [the second are not enough. The substitution of one If only there was a chivalrous Yeshiva Divine revelation to which seminary girls brother] died, just as his daughter's co set of words for another does not make Bachur around to help this seminary are privy (*note: guaranteed after Chanu wife is exempt, so too is her co-wife's this conversation any more acceptable maiden in distress. Lost in translation, she kah or your money back) or the significant co-wife exempt, even if they are one as long as the ideas remain racy. We looks around wildly for someone, anyone, weight gain that is commonly associated hundred brothers.1 must, therefore, avoid discussion of the to help her solve this mystery of meaning. with this year. In this passage, one hundred people topic of bi'ah at all costs. We all know Then, from the fog, there emerges a figure. 2 Editor's Note: In addition, atcording to die, and the text does not even bat an eye. what controversies appear when bi'ah The sleek silhouette of his black hat cuts international law, the Rova is already over Clearly, something must be done, such as is discussed in an open matter in this a jagged line across the dark Saturday the Green Line. Extra points if you figure censoring the . text, so that our students institution. night sky of Rehov Yaffo. Black jacket out which editor is responsible for this will not learn this lack of sensitivity. We Which leads us into another problem becomes visible as he strolls toward her. note. must prevent our students from learning with this massekhet: the prominence Crisp white shirt. Prada belt fastened to this material until they will be sufficiently of bi'ah before marriage. The Beraita perfection. And, really, really fancy shoes. ready to treat it with the somber mien referenced earlier continues:
Volume V, Issue 4 www.kolhamevaser.com 5 Kol Hamevaser The verse then states: "And perform be catastrophic. First, students might ketanim might give them the impression motives in mind. ).,~bbum," to signify that only cohabitation erroneously become convinced that such that interacting with members of the Because of all of the aforementioned finalizes marriage with her, but the an action is le-ka-tehillah, that is, that other gender is completely acceptable. We problems with studying masseklzet Yevamot, transfer of money or a document does bi'ah al korhnh is the most proper way to cannot sit back and watch our students we have decided that we must take steps not finalize marriage with her. 4 perform yibbum. They then might extend ruin their· neshanwt (souls) by engaging to ensure that the neshamot of our students While the Rabbis instituted the practice the halakhah and state that even in non in such interactions before they are fully will not be harmed by learning this of ma'ama,S to mirror kiddushin, on the de yibbum situations, it is permissible to do ready for it. material. As the Censorship Committee, oraita level, it is sufficient to simply do bi'ah bi'ah against the desires of the woman. Furthermore, in this massekhet, it is not we have come to the conclusion that the with the ).,lfVamaiL without any kiddushin. If Such a ruling might result in a rash of cases uncommon for one of the characters in most effective way to do so would be the student body were to hear that there of date rape, after which the men will claim the case to be married to more than one by censoring out those sections that we are cases when bi'ah without kiddushin is that the women are now married to them. person. This premise is behind the whole consider to be the most improper. Unlike muttar, there would be an uproar. Some Clearly, this is not the ideal solution to the · idea of tsarot, co-wives, as the Mishnah the Christians, who censored the Talmud students might mistakenly believe that the shidduklr crisis, We do not want to teach states: because they were trying to shy away bi'ah is pre-marital bi'ah, and could even our students that females are valueless How do [the fifteen arayot] exempt their from the truth that their God was not the go so far as to assume that the Gemara and simply bi'ah objects. While they may co-wives? If [a man's] daughter or any real God, we will be doing this censoring legalizes premarital bi'ah in all situations. not be allowed into the Glueck beit midrash, other one of these arayot was married in the name of heaven. We will not be Do not think that we should not worry women are still important· members of to his brother, who had another wife as cutting out the whole masseklzet, just those about this mistaken view because it is so kelal Yisrael and must be treated with the well, and [the brother] died childless, parts which we deem offensive. We will unlikely, for we see in this massekhet itself utmost respect and dignity. just as [the yavmn's] daughter is exempt let our students know which pages are that there are situations where the Rabbis On the topic of shiddukhim, the whole from luzlitsah and yibum, so too, is her co permissible as soon as we find some that make laws for some far-out cases. For concept of yibbum counters everything we wife exempt.13 are in no way problematic- we still have example, the Gemara suggests that, for one hold dear in our view of this lofty pursuit. We have multiple stories in Tanakh not found any. Our next step will be to case, R. Shimon says that a woman requires There is a concept that yibbum is a "kinyan that teach us that co-wife relationships investigate the effect that learning Hilkhot halitsah though he would generally say she min ha-sluzmayim," an acquisition from like these can be dangerous, such as Niddah has on students in RIETS and is peturah (exempt), because: heaven/ meaning that the connection when Sarah chases away Hagar/4 Rachel GPATS. Stay posted for any updates on This is a decree that was enacted because between the yavmn and the yevamah was becomes jealous of Leah,15 and Chana the situation. if we allow both widows to be released not made by man, as are most marital causes Penina' s children to die. 16 However, through a single act perhaps [people] relationships, but rather was created by our main concern is not that male students Re'uven Ben-Shimon is a member of the will say that when there are two yevamot the intervention of God, and as such is will try to marry more than one wife; herem mysterious Censorship Committee. No one who come from two different houses to a subject to slightly different laws. However, de-Rabbeinu Gershom 17 is still going strong, really knows wlw he is or what he does, other yavam only one of them requires yibbunz this goes against our priority of using our and as such the men would never try such tluzn that he is some high up bureaucrat. and the other one is thereby released human hishtaddlut in most situations. a thing. No, what could happen is that a without anything.6 Rather than sit back and wait for Hashem man could date two women at the same 1 Yevamot 2b. All translations are Rashi there states that the case being to do the work for us, we need to be time. Especially considering that many of Artscroll' s unless otherwise noted. referred to is when two wives fell to proactive and try our hardest to make the the co-wife relationships in this massekhet 2 See Yevamot 35b. yibbum at exactly the same time, because things we want happen. Shiddukhinz are no are not even real wives at all, but are rather 3 Yevamot 54a. this is the only case for which R. Shimon different; it is for.this reason that our great wives in zikah (a bond between the yavam 4 Ibid. holds that two yevanzot can come from university -formed the CJF. It needs to be and theyevamah beforeyibbum takes place), 5 Because yibbum does not require any two houses? Such a case is clearly rare through human efforts that people meet it is not unfathomable to maintain that kiddushin, the Rabbis instituted that a how likely is it that two things actually their basherts, even if it requires awkward two women could be considered co-wives yavam should give the yevamah a ma' amar, occurred simultaneously rather than icebreakers and forcing members of in girlfriendhood. Dating two people is, which is a type of document that acts several milliseconds apart? If the massekhet opposite genders to talk to each other. at best, awkward and unple.asant and, at as a kiddushin de-rabbanan. See Kehati to is worried about uncommon cases such We cannot teach our students something worst, disastrous. We do not want it to Yevamot 2:1. as this, we should be too. We too must which will encourage them to sit on their even enter our students' minds that they 6 Yevamot 19a. consider even the most gullible students laurels rather than looking out to find their could try such a thing. 7 Rashi ad loc. when creating the rules for our university other half. On a completely different note, a final 8 Yevamot 53b. in order to ensure that no one will overstep Again related to marriage is the problem problem with the content of massekhet 9 Yevamot 39a. the boundaries of Halakhah. of people in this massekhet marrying Yevanwt is that the yavam inherits the 10 Yevamot llOa. Author's translation. Another place where students might ketanim. A Mishnah states: "Someone who property of his dead brother by marrying 11 Yevamot 96b. Author's translation. disastrously overstep their bounds is if was married to two yevamot who were his wife. A Beraita interprets the pasuk, 12 Author's translation. they would learn that for yibbum, bi' alz ketnnot, and died, doing bi'nh or lzalitsah "Shall succeed to the name of his deceased 13 Yevamot 2b. al korhah (against her will) is successful with one of them makes the Qther one brother,"18 to mean that the brother who 14 Be-Reshit 16. in acquiring the yevamah as a wife. The peturah." 10A similar Mishnah speaks of doesyibbum is the only brother who inherits 15 Be-Reslzit 30:1. Mishnah states: male ketanim: "A nine-years-and-one-day from the dead man, and he receives the 16 Pesikta Rabbati 43. One who cohabits with his yevamah, old boy who does bi' ah with his yevamah whole property.19 It would not be unheard 17 Rabbeinu Gershom, a German Rabbi, whether mistakenly or wantonly, and dies, they do luzlitsah but not yibum." 11 of for the yavam to marry the yevamah just made several decrees toward the beginning whether under coercion or willingly, In both of these cases, the marriage takes to receive the inheritance. However, in of the medieval period that applies to even if he was mistaken and she was place when the child is much too young. this institution, we have learned the hard Ashkenazi Jewry until today. Included wanton, or he was wanton and she was In addition to creating complications way that it is not a good idea to obtain among those decrees are the prohibitions mistaken, or he was coerced and she within the cases, these youngsters are property through such shady means. of polygamy, divorcing a woman against 12 was not coerced, or she was coerced and perutsim (licentious ones ) who are not Marriage is not a common way to inherit her will, and opening another person's he was not coerced; whether one only acting like true benei Torah. Anyone with property from a dead brother. After the mail. begins cohabitation or one completes the a yeshivah high school education today incident when Madoff lost our school so 18 Devarim 25:6. act; he has acquired.8 knows that talking to members of the much money, we must be extra careful to 19 Yevamot 24a. In summary, a woman can be forced into other gender is strongly discouraged until monitor how we receive funds. One way yibbum against her will. If our students dating age, at which point young adults to be cautious is to make sure that we only would learn that this is halakhically suddenly become mature enough to start take money in cases where it is clear to all permissible, the consequences could dating. Teaching students about married that it was obtained with only the purest www.kolhamevaser.com Volume V, Issue 4 6 Back to the Jewish Future Cast Aside: Confronting Hadarat Anashim in the Modern Orthodox Community
BY: Rally Capman . It is an average night seder in the Glueck niddah, fail to take lzallah, or neglect to light how much of one's body is covered,"3 but young dati le'umi girls on their way to Beit Midrash. Havrutot debate fine points Shabbat candles, I will not suffer a bloody, woe to the man whose gaze is directed at a school every morning. I certainly never in a SllgJJa. Some, tired out from a long painful death in childbirth? Does God not woman who is not fully dressed! Since the had this sort of encouragement in my day of Torah u-Madda, have caved in to care about my dedication, my spirituality, responsibility is placed squarely on men to learning! their weariness and let their heads drop my commitment to Torah and mitsvot? avoid looking, any form of public prayer, Still, I would expect that in the Modern into their open gemarot. A few daring In recent days, one more issue of men's whether an amusement park minluzh or Orthodox community, we would be individuals have snuck in M&Ms from rights has come to the forefront. Israeli even something as simple as a berakluzh above this type of behavior. However, the the Nagel Bagel into the Beit Midrash, soldiers were at a military ceremony when rishonah, is hindered by the fact that prayers reality could not be any more depressing. carefully avoiding the watchful eye of a woman got up to sing. The religious may not be said while facing a woman It seems like every time there is a yom the Beit Midrash coordinator. There is a soldiers, bound by the strictures of the who is not dressed in accordance with the iyyun, a special shiur, or a scholar-in pleasant buzz of learning, laughing, and halakhic system, realized that tfus would rules. Since tocj.ay' s women insensitively residence in a shu/, the topic surrounds shtender-banging; the Beit Midrash is alive violate the prohibition of kol isluzh, having dress in a manner that forbids men to gaze women: "Women in Tanakh," "Women with the music of Talmud Torah. I close a man hear a woman's singing voice. In in their direction while reciting berakhot, in the Synagogue," "Can a Woman be my eyes for a moment and thank God for front of everyone, they had to leave the it is nearly impossible to eat lunch in a a Rabbi?," "Changing Roles of Women the fact that, unlike in centuries past when ceremony, regardless of the consequences public park today. in the Modern Orthodox Community," only a select group of men were able to for their military service. This is a Of course, as we might expect, the haredi "Women's Education" ... and the list goes devote significant portions of their lives to , shameful case of exclusion of men from world is far worse in their expressions of on. Why do we not care about all the men Torah study, today even an average man public life; these lzaY'Jalim, who wanted misandry. For years already, the haredim in Tanakh, men's education, or whether men like myself can spend five years post-high to faithfully serve their country, were have arranged bus lines where the men can be rabbis? Beyond the focus in study, school in a Beit Midrash setting. forced out of the ranks, and all because sit in the front and the women sit in the there is the reality on the ground: so many But not all is well in Glueck tonight. organizations exist for women, and men As I proceed through the Gemara' s are simply left in the cold. Why is there description of the halitsah ceremony, I a Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance, but realize: yet again, Torah she-be'al peh has no Jewish Orthodox Male Chauvinist thrown me a curveball. Once more, Alliance? An Organization for· the Torah law discriminates against men. But Resolution of Agunot, but no Organization this is just too much: rather than simply o----- for the Resolution of Agunin1? Why excluding men from a particular privilege, 0 is there no program for ordination of the Gemara prescribes nothing short a~ male Maharats or Rabbas, not even an of humiliation: in front of beit din and a 0 opportunity to become a Yoetz Halakhah? crowd of onlookers, the yevamah actually o~ Why does the Drisha Institute offer only spits at the yavam! coed and women's-only programs, but It is sometimes challenging, as a no men's-only program? And in our own halakhically committed man, to feel beloved institution, why are men barred comfortable with a system that is so one from the Masters Program in Biblical and sided, so clearly tilted toward women. It Talmudic Interpretation? Clearly, the would be tough enough if IUllitsah were the BOYS ARE.SfUPIO, Modern Orthodox community has also only instance of discrimination. But it is f lost its way, and forgotten about men's not. We men are forbidden to shave our fHROW ROCKS AI fHEM learning and men's spiritual leadership. faces with razors or cut off our sideburns; Some might belittle this characterization women are free to 'raze head and facial of reality as exaggerated and androcentric, hair without restraint. Male kohanim but I truly believe that the danger is cannot enter cemeteries or attend the of a rabbinic decree. It is sad enough back. As any third-grader knows, when great. Many men no longer feel !ike they funerals of close friends, while females are that proud religious Israeli soldiers were. it is time to board a bus, everyone jostles have a place in Modern Orthodoxy, and barely impacted by their priestly lineage. essentially evicted from the premises. But to be first, so that he or she might glean are drifting off to other, more egalitarian The only obligatory surgery (and a painful what is. worse, there is so much which is the coveted "backity-back" seat, because communities. I am strong in my faith one, at that) mentioned in the: Toral1 is off-limits to men because of the suffocating it is more bumpy and hence more fun. despite the challenges, but I see so many mandated only for - you guessed it! - cute rules of tseni'ut. Men cannot listen to half In the haredi community, this privilege is dear friends losing their footing and little baby boys. Yes, even from the cradle, the music in the world. Men cannot turn reserved for women only. . (As an aside, beginning to seek other avenues for their the prejudice makes its mark. on almost any radio station. Even in malls there is a wonderful Israeli organization religious devotion. Only by finding a All this is on the Biblical level, but the and supermarkets, it is almost impossible called Believers Religiously Opposing proper framework for men's expressions rabbis are no friendlier in their treatment to avoid the alluring sound of women's Any Discrimination (BROAD) which is of spirituality in the Modern Orthodox of men. The rabbis gave special status to singing voices. currently seeking men to be Freedom community can we ensure that tl1e masorah women's mitsvot: niddah, taking hallah, and Furthermore, R. Dov Linzer writes that Riders and ride in the back of so-called will be properly passed down to the next lighting candles for Shabbat and Yom Tov. "the Talmud.. . places the responsibility "Mehadrin" buses, which the Israeli generation. They emphasized this by writing that if for controlling men's licentious thoughts Supreme Court has anyway ruled illegal.) What is the first step? I have one women are lax in these mitsvot, they will about women squarely on the men," and Furthermore, the haredi community in Beit suggestion, and it goes back to luzlitsah. die in childbirth.1 Reading this at the end emphasizes that avoiding situations where Shemesh has lately become so enthused Why should it be that the humiliation of of kabbalat shabbat every week, I wonder: men look at women inappropriately is about women's education that, despite being spat at is unidirectional? After all, what if men are lax in these mitsvot? Why the man's responsibility. 2 Women can the differences in luzshkafah between just as the yavam has failed to maintain must it be, I think to myself as I cry silently essentially walk around naked in public, themselves and the dati le'umi community, the name of his brother by fulfilling the in my heart, that if I violate the laws of because "modesty is not defined by ... they have dispatched men to cheer on mitsvah of yibum, the yevamah has failed Volume V, Issue 4 www.kolhamevaser.com 7 Kol Hamevaser to carry on the name of her husband. Perhaps we should change the procedure CJF: Bringing Yibbum to Life to a double-spitting ceremony, which would also include the man spitting at the BY: Rachel and Leah woman. This bilateral action of spitting would preserve the image of both parties, With the numerous references to Yeshiva University's Center for the Jewish information email: brothemumber2@ not violate any halakhot as far as I know husbands or wives going to "medinat ha Future Certificate Program in Experiential halitsahisarnitzvahtoo.com. (though I have not bothered to consult yam" (overseas) and never coming back Jewish Education more words mor~ words any rabbis about this), and make the man (or coming back after yibbum had already more words website, the four foundations Foundation #3: Cultivating feel less like an outcast. As the holets been done and messing everything up), of experiential education are imparting Communities: " ... master the art of listening, expectorates, his floating saliva will be a Massekhet Yevamot is just one of those values, creating experiences, cultivating and identifijing with their audience's passions, symbol of the Torah, which is compared areas of Torah that can easily be viewed as communities, and self-development.5 struggles and challenges. "8 to water, and which - despite my personal me-ever /a-yam (across the sea)1 if there ever How can these foundations be adapted to confusion - I am certain has a proper was one. So how are we supposed to relate Yevamot? Here are some suggestions: At school: place for men to fit in, if only we seek it to Yevamot? How are we ever supposed Fourth grader: "My parents met at camp. diligently enough. to gain an appreciation for it that goes Foundation #1: Imparting Values: " ... My mom was a counselor and my dad was beyond the joy of finding excuses to listen seeks to impart values, spark spirih~al growth the division head. They used to talk all 2 Rally "Hey Mikey!" Capman is a sub to ''I'm My Own Grandpa"? • and share knowledge rooted in the rich tradition night and their campers would sing songs freshman at College Yeshiva majoring in The number one tactic used by teachers of Judaism." 6 about them. They dated for four years and Basket Weaving, with a minor in Men's to make learning material real: Act it then got married and had me! How did Studies. He used to be the Poet Laureate of out! But imagine acting out Yevamot. Yibbum vort: your parents meet?" Kol Hameshakker, but was recently demoted to The lack of a stage due to the sale of the Rabbi: I would like to bless you on the Friend: "First my mom was married to Blurb Composer for his use of "he" instead of Schottenstein Cultural Center would be momentous occasion of your levirate my uncle. Then he died before he had kids, "he or she." the least of our worries. Who would want marriage, on the day on which the issur so she married my dad instead." to be the widow? Or the dead person? of eshet ah (prohibition to marry the wife Awkward silence. 1 Mishnayot Shabbat 2:6. Or the other dead person? Or the brother of your brother) has been so creepily 2 Dov Linzer, "Lechery, Immodesty and th"at's not even born yet? Or, worse yet, lifted. My berakhah (blessing) to you, my Your grandmother (to be read in her accent): the Talmud," The New York Times, January the co-wife (Artscroll's translation)? And, chosson, is that your identity be erased So, Rochel, you really lucked out. You 19, 2012, available at: www.nytimes.com. anyway, who would want to sit and watch, and you become your brother, alav ha married a mehannekh and you ended up 3 Ibid. let alone be able to follow, a play about a shalom, procreating in his name instead with a doctor! I always said you should've series of related wives who all apparently of your own. And to you, my dear kallah, gone for the brother. God works in die one after the other and then come that you live in happiness with your dead mysterious ways. Barukh Hashem, mazal, back to life, leaving the husband with husband's brother, finding solace in the mazal! fact that he chose to do yibbum rather than halitsah, thereby allowing you to avoid Foundation #4: Self-Development ·r·--~-~-~ -~ -G-. ;~~;!~~;emsthanAfter long spitting in public and being left with no " ...teaching ... the importance of confidence, - 9 contemplation, the means of financial support. By the power humility, compassion and integrity. " ·. . .·· myriad of sstuds and of zikah (bond) that may or may not exist ystuds assaulting between you, you will now be considered Breaking News: husband and wife. Simeon sues younger brother Levi after . . ' ' ~~ ~~::~ f~~ the latter eloped with Rachel, the brothers' better to give advice Foundation #2: Creating Experiences: deceased brother Reuben's wife, leaving on how to make " ... transform[s] routine activities into lawyers scratching their heads. "I am the 1'. S. Yevamot come alive innovative and inspiring experiences. "7 elder," Simeon explained, "I have dibs." 10 than the CJF, home of Experiential Jewish Flower Shop ad: Text Message: Education?4 "Marriage is about Love" flower shop 10-year-old boy: · sry tht shim • Experiential is offering a 15% discount for all ma'amar died. u wanna do ybm or chlza ?11 education is, shall we ceremonies! Whether you hold that 38-year-old sister-in-law: ? • say, rather popular ma' amar is koneh de-oraita, de-rabbanan, or these days. Just walk not at all and you're just having a ceremony We hope that these examples have made into the CJF and for the sake of inviting back those couples Yevamot more relatable, and, of course, • you're bound to find who invited you for shabbos lunch and have inspired you to become a Jewish someone willing to you never got to invite back, flowers are a leader. Next time you are breaking your give you a long shpiel sure way of enhancing the simhah! teeth on a sugya, just be thankful that • on the amazingness yibbum is only happening on the daf and of experiential Magazine Advertisement: not in reality. education (as Looking for the perfect shoe for your * To help us improve, please fill out the long as said CJF halitsah ceremony? Look no further! survey that will be sent to you shortly. employee is not "Chaim' s Chalitza" shoes are now It should only take you three months to too busy designing available! Posekim agree that the "loafers" complete! complicated send the guy the message that he is just applications). So that, and the black color represents his Rachel and Leah are havrutot who are how would they disgraceful soul. Order now to receive getting increasingly frustrated with the suggest that we a free standard sock so as not to further continued use of their names in depressing go about making eml?arrass your family with holes or polka Yevamot situations. Yevamot relatable? dots. According to the Available in men's sizes 6-13. For more 1 Devarim 30:13.
www.kolhamevaser.com Volume V, Issue 4 8 Back to the Jewish Future 2 See YouTube video available "lt • • th V: h • U • •t · sexual promiscuity, . the fact remains at: http:/ fwww.youtube.com/ In t erne t FI eringin e ~es IVa niversi y that' "Both accidental and intentional watch?v=e YlJH81dSiw. . . Th T b . . [offenders are liable] for hillul ha-shem."9 The diagrams are reminiscent of convo Dormitories: e rue A omination Since hillul ha-s/rem is the worst of sins,10 luted yibbum diagrams. In the interest of it should be our first concern, and push easiness, the words are below: By: Yiftach "Patch" Scraply aside any minor considerations of sin I was married to a widow, who was involved in pornographic viewing. On pretty as can be. Recently, the YU community has been verse: "Then thou shalt keep thee from a more cheerful note, if yeshiva students This widow, had a grown-up daughter, rocked by news of the administration's every evil thing."5 However, we should can satisfy their sexual cravings through Who had hair of red. plan to filter internet access in the note that ogling unattractive unmarried pornography, they can further push off My father fell in love with her and soon dormitories.1 Students (which in this women is not explicitly forbidden by this dating, preventing them from violating they too were wed .. article will refer to uptown-dwelling male gemara, and "The Torah did not mention the cardinal sin of missing night seder. This made my dad my son-in-law, students, rather than the downtown all the permitted things, but rather ·only One modern Jewish ~er has And really changed my life. · living female students who of course are the forbidden things" 6 - meaning, if pointed to some disturbing hashkafic Now my daughter was my mother, perfectly pure aide! mnidelakh and have not something is not explicitly forbidden by considerations which suggest that internet Cause she was my father's wife. a trace of sexual desire) have expressed the Torah, it is permitted. Accordingly, filtering is unhealthy on a spiritual plane: And to complicate the matter, both support for and opposition to the a man should be allowed to gaze at an "Rather than confronting and addressing Even though it brought me joy, measure. As American Orthodox Jews, unattractive single woman. We should the very troubling core issues underlying I soon became the father of a bouncing it .behooves us to set aside our personal further note that, according to Nedarim the fact that so much pornography is baby boy. predilections and examine the ·issue on 9:10, Rabbi Ishmael stated, "Jewish women watched in the dorms, this seems to My little baby then' became a brother-in the firm grounds of Halakhah and Jewish are beautiful,"7 which clearly implies that be a way for the institution to sweep a law to dad, Thought, as well as consider this decision's non-Jewish women are not beautiful. If so, disturbing phenomenon under the rug."11 And o became my uncle, though it implications on our place in contemporary there should be no problem with staring at Indeed, the university is completely made me very sad. · society. In other words, we must look unmarried non-Jewish failing to address the underlying cause of For, if-if he were my uncle, then that also at the issue through the lenses of women. Since pornographic viewing in the dormitories; made him brother. Halakhic Man, Cognitive Man, On a more cheerf:.,l the vast which might be summarized as "Males Of the widow's grown up daughter, who and Captain America. ;_w. get sexual pleasure from viewing naked was of course, my ~tepmother. As good halakhists, we must note, if yeshiva stuaents females." Some might suggest that" Uhhuh. search for the nnfka minah can satisfy their sexual mandatory castration of incoming male Father's wife then had a son who kept - the practical implications cravings through pornography, students would be the ideal solution, but them on the run, of installing an internet filter in they can further push I am hesitant to recommend this course And he became my grandchild, for he the dormitory. Mter all, many sorts off dating, preventing of action, considering the biblical was my daughter's son. of filters exist, with varying degrees of them from violatzng the prohibition on Ci'l.stration,U as well My wife is now my mother's mother, stringency. According to Rabbi Yona cardinal sin of missing as this policy's potential to worsen and it makes me blu~. Reiss, the community assigned to majority night seder. The Shidduch Crisis™. It might be Because although she is my wife, she's · investigate internet filtering found "a of pornography better to subject all incoming yeshiva my grandmother too. reliable, precise filter that well fit YU's features. unmarried students to a program of brainwashing God. needs."2 But what are these needs? For non-Jewish women, there should be no designed to prevent them from feeling any Now, if my wife is my grandmother, I am this, we must turn to YU' s mission problem with viewing it. Furthermore, attraction to females until the moment of her grandchild, yeah. statement. This document establishes since marriage cannot be contracted with marriage. . And every time I think of it, heh! Nearly that for undergraduate students, "We a non-Jew,8 we might consider non-Jewish Another modern scholar of Jewish drives me wild. bring wisdom to life by combining the marriages irrelevant for the purposes thought has stated, "Public intrusion on Cause now I have become, the strangest finest contemporary academic education of staring at women. Hence, it appears students' private sexual practices is itself case you ever saw, with the timeless teachings of Torah."3 permitted to view pornography, as long a lewd and tasteless action - unfit for a As husband of my grandmother, I am my Presumably, a filter that fits YU's needs as the women featured therein are not university's administration."13 Indeed, own grand paw. would not compromise "the finest Jewish, whether they are legally ·married the Sanhedrin of old may have whipped Oh I'm my own grand paw. contemporary academic education" by or unmarried. and beaten the rebellious sinner "until I'm my own grand paw. limiting any resources necessary for the One caveat should be noted: Bava Batra his soul leaves his body" for infractions · It sounds funny I know, but it really is so, . said education. Hence, only recreational. 57b states that a man should avoid looking such as failing to pick up a lulav or place Oh I'm my own grandpaw. websites would be subject to regulation. at women while they are doing laundry. tsitsit on his garment,14 and even without I'm my own grand paw. In this author's opinion, then, what seems Hence, the ever-popular field of laundry semikhah, beit din aewish courts) can punish I'm my own grand paw. to be at stake is the yeshiva students' pornography is, sadly, inarguably off extralegally,15 but these considerations are Talk about incest! privilege to use university bandwidth to limits to Jewish men. irrelevant. An important distinction has It sounds funny I know, but it really is so, stimulate their neural pleasure centers by Furthermore, there are halakhic and been made here - we are dealing with a I'm my own grand paw. drinking in internet-derived visions of hashkafic positives to allowing yeshiva university administration, which is not 3 See Yevamot 10:5 for a similar case. X-rated material. students to view pornography. Yeshiva authorized as is .beit din, and therefore 4 "Experiential education is a philosophy The question is, then: how should we students who are able to sate their desires unable to act with the same impunity to of education that describes the process that relate to the attempt by the administration visually will feel less compelled to seek prevent yeshiva students from indulging occurs between a teacher and student that to "block" these students from fulfilling out physical means of fulfilling them. in sensuous experiences. infuses direct experience with the learning their hearts' desires? In keeping with Furthermore, as we have recently learned, Finally, we must address American environment and content." Wikipedia.org. YU' s mantra of" enable and ennoble,"4 we by allowing yeshiva students to be societal considerations. The Uriited States 5 "The Four Foundations," available at: .must ask: is the disabling perpetrated by tempted by their femme fatale counterparts Constitution famously states, "We hold www.ejewisheducation.com. internet filtering justified by some sort of downtown (and perhaps elsewhere), we these truths to be self-evident, that all men 6 Ibid. ennobling? run the risk of some women expressing are created equal, that they are endowed 7Ibid. Our first instinct might be to support the their light inklings of thought in public by their Creator with certain unalienable 8 Ibid. move based on Avodah Zarah 20a, which fora, creating indescribable hillul ha Rights, that'among these are Life, Liberty 9 Ibid. . forbids looking [sexually] at" an attractive Shem (desecration of the divine Name). and the pursuit of Happiness." If all men 10 See Yevamot 4:5. woman, even unmarried; a married Although the yeshiva students do not are endowed with the unalienable right to 11 See, for example, Yevamot 96b. woman, even unattractive," based on the intend to create hillul ha-Shem by their the pursuit of Happiness, it is clear that we Volume. V, Issue 4 www.kolhamevaser.com 9 -. .. • • • ~ • • • .. -"' .. • • • • ~ io ' ' ' ' ' ' . ~
Kol Hamevaser cannot forbid the viewing of pornography , international symbol of Torah u-Madda, is ber 9, 2011; Readers, "Letters & Respons 10 See Maimonides, Mislmeh Torah, Hilk in the dormitories. Though we might doing its students and community a great es," December 25, 2011; Nathar:t Hyman, hot Teshuvah 1:4. trumpet regarding Torah study that, "The disservice by blocking free and open access "Internet Filtration at YU," December 26, 11 Abramowitz. precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing to the internet. But for the sake of all that 2011; all from Yeshiva UniversihJ Commen 12 Leviticus 22:24; see conimentary of the heart,"16 we cannot but acknowledge is good and holy, we must demand of the tator, available at: www.yucommentator. Rashi ad loc. the Talmudic dictum that "Any man who administration, "Let freedom ring!"19 or g. 13 Abramowitz. has no woman dwells without joy."17 The I would love to help with the effort on 2 Abramowitz. 14 Hullin 132b et al. Author's transla population of yeshiva stu\fents in the the front lines, barging into administrative 3 "Mission Statement," Yeshiva Univer tion. dormitories has essentially zero access offices and bellowing the message of truth. sity Website, available at: www.yu.edu. 15 Yevamot 90b et al. Author's transla- to women - indeed, women are not even But until the anticipated date of filter 4 Richard Joel, every speech he has giv tion. 18 allowed into the dormitories - and implementation, I, urn, heed to be in my en in the last eight years. 16 Psalms 19:9. JPS 1917 translation. hence exists in a perpetually depressed room. 5 Deuteronomy 23:10. JPS 1917 transla 17 Yevamot 62b. Author's translation. state. This is a constitutionally untenable tion. 18 "Men's Housing: Guest Policy," situation, which can only be remedied by 1 See, for example: Benjamin Abramow 6 Tiferet Yisra'el to Yadayim 4:3. Author's Yeshiva University Website, available at: the import of sexually explicit images and itz, "Rabbi Yona Reiss Unveils Plan for translation. www.yu.edu. · videos of women into the dormitories. Internet Censorship: Dormitory Pornog 7 Author's translation, 19 Samuel Francis Smith," America," Based on all these factors, it is abundantly raphy to Be Blocked," December 9, 2011; 8 Kiddushin 68b. 1831, Stanza 1. clear that Yeshiva University, as the Readers, "Letters & Responses," Decem- 9 Avot4:4. Me-Hermann Ad Herman Lo Kam ke-Herman BY: Pee Wee Every hundred years or so, a fi gure enters and double students. In wishes you a Happy Hurim! the scene who so profoundly shifts its basic monocles. fact, each identity as to render jt unrecognizable to the Whether very much 1 Rambam on becoming a kohen. uninformed observer. It is these great historical this makes affected the 2 Accessible at http:/ /maps.google.com/ma figures who ar!! remembered for years to come them "classy;' philosophy ps ?saddr=Cos wig, +Germany&daddr=uzb in history books, which trace the influence of "cool;' "old of a Rabbi ekistan&hl=en&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&ssp these great men. It is only in cases· of great fashioned Solovei(t) n=29 .219963,81.386719&geocode= FZYw DA coincidence - or kah incidence, as some render European," chik in the MdwJ7PACkt0jwRSdEJRzFa Ydb921--mA %- it - that these great movers and shakers of or just plain 2Q'h and 21'' 3BFdNedwldLn7ZAymxdtaliiuuODEgHoR history may share a name. One case is Rabad, spooky, this century. As rWOKyg&mra=ls&t=m&z=4 the medieval halakhist and so much more, mouthpiece we all know, 3 Available at: www.halakhah.com/ solo2. pdf. whose authority was so great that one person is an integral for we have could not contain all his greatness, and the part of their all read R. Rabad persona had to be bifurcated into three presented self. Beyond that, Cain began his J. B. s:s dissertation, ;;; the topic was Hermann different human bodies in order to promulgate career as the CEO of Godfather's pizza, while Cohen's philosophy of Kant itself, as the Rav his greatness. Cohen was the veritable godfather of Jewish meditated on his neo-Kantian · philosophy. Which brings us to Herman(n). Th is German neo-Kantianism. And, thanks to And if Hermann Cohen is the Rav's intellectual ;;!aD#'· mustachioed, bespectacled man of ideas, Google Maps,i; I recently learned that the forebear, Herman Cain has picked up where who had great influence on rabbinic fi gures distance between Coswig, Germany, the Rabbi Soloveitchik left off; · transcencj.ing the at Yeshiva University, figures prominently in · birthplace of Cohen, and Uzbekistan (a.k.a. dialectic, he has moved towards outright any study of 19tJ'-21" century philosophy and Uzbekibekibekistanstan), favored location of contradiction .at every turn. Never leaving thought. And to think that this man - or these Cain, is 5,779 kilometers when traveled on a ridiculous possibility unexamined, his ~Aif·JV•rAtHGV' two doppelgangers of a man, rather - was so the "Cain Train" campaign bus. If this doesn't approach is · downright Cohenian, if not powerful a radical and innovative thinker, indicate a fundamental closeness between the Rozensweigian. N~ m e of Drawing points to some divine intervention in our men, I aon't know what does. When all the information is considered, the · story. (It is even possible to 'see the connection If this is the case, these men's provenances are German Cohen and Lithuanian-Arnerican between these men based on their alike connected at the deepest oflevels. But I would Cain are two Herman(n)s cut from the same visages, and the reader is encouraged to view like to claim that it is not only their source, cloth. They look alike, have similar influences, the accompanying photos.) Thus, this essay but their accomplishments and messages, as and think alike, shaping the face of modern will analyze the deep affiniti!!S and distmctions well, th~t extend, interdigitate and interweave, Orthodoxy. The Yeshiva University community between Hermann Cohen and Herman Cain. to create an eternal golden braid of their must embrace the contemporary Cain as one The one difference that really makes these influences on society. of its own, as a scholar of Jewish thought par men stand apart is the pronunciation of their Hermann Cohen, a major Existentialjst excellence, and then, and only then, can YU last name. Both have a traditional priestly thinker, was the most outspoken opponent of call itself a university truly committed to Torah appellation as their surname, and it is fitting for Adolf Trendelenburg's interpretation of Kant's U-Madda (and everything Rav) . Given the these great teachers that it be so,; but there are philosophy. In fact, when presented with depth of YU's commitment to these ideals, I radically different pronunciations of said name. this opposing approach, he is reputed to have call upon President Richard Joel, though he Whether to pronounce the last name Cohen, screamed "Nein, nein, nein" at his foil, and to may be a Democrat, to take upon himself the as the German Hermann did, or Cain, as the have·engaged in a formal debate on the matter. yoke of responsibility for the Jewish future and American of Lithuanian descent preferred, is This well-known fact may remind readers open a new Center for Herman. We may still the only, slight difference between these two of an historical detail pertaining to Herman be able to win the future, but only if we have men of importance. And with the exhaustion Cain, where he would often argue "nine, nine, Herman on our side. of the differences between the men, we now nine" as the basis for a platform he had yet to move to an examination of their similarities. construct. Pee Wee Herman is a scholar ofHermaneutics A. CAPlAN As was pointed out, both of these thinkers The affinity between the Herman(n)s in the Department of Herntanities at the sport a countenance with a haired philtrum continues on to the influence they had on thejr Gherman University of the Hermitage. He Entrant's Name www.kolhamevaser.com Volume V, Issue 4 10 -__,.. _
IIIIi Heights, dOl SIClCIDihl Due to our many sins, a woman left the kitchen to learn a trade, God forbid, in "Stem College," and learned "Torah u-Madda, even though every Jew knows that "If there is sword, then there is no learning, and if there is learning, there is no sword," and all the more so, "If there is no Torah, there is no Madda, and if there is Madda, there is no Torah," and inost likely she lost on both counts, since "women's understanding is light." And although King Solomon wrote, "One man in a thousand I found, and a woman among all those I did not find," and the commentator explained that he meant that the daughters of Israel are modest and are not found amongst the men, God forbid, this woman did not listen to the words of the wisest among men, and she went out and mingled amongst the men. And her situation declined to the point that she started "going out" with one of them, Heaven help us, and she removed him from the holy Beit Midrash of Yeshivat Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchonon in Washington Heights (may it be built up and established speedily in our days, Amen) through many schemes in accordance with the guidance of Miss Middot, and through immodest dress. And although there is no place here to extensively address the issue of immodest dress in the Heights Family Lounge and the Pollack and Gottesman libraries, it is impossible to excuse ourselves without any discussion, and since it has come to our hands, let us say something about it. Behold, it is known that it is entirely forbidden for a woman to wear pants, as it is stated in Tehillim regarding the Splitting of the Sea: "He gathers (cl::>) like a wall the waters of the sea," and in the Song at the Sea it is written, "Hashem is a man of war," so it is clear to anyone with intelligence that pants (c'Cl::>~J), which come from the language of gathering (cl::>), are only for a man, and not for a woman. If so, we are responsible to stand against this aboniination and to scold these women according to our ability, to separate them from prohibitions. But because our country of heretics made evil decrees against us, and strongly forbade any disturbance to them "that we might not approach to spit," we have no choice but to stare at them until the "little daughter of Israel" within their hearts will wake up and feel that this practice is uncomfortable for their modesty, and they will leave here forever and ever, Amen and so may it be His will. And it appears that the community is already aware of this point, and therefore Yeshiva students have a practice to stare at women in the library for durations of minutes at a time. . . And behold, this licentious woman took with her a "Longchamp" bag and a "Hadaya" necklace (and it is known that all this was through the actions of Satan, as "Longchamp" plus "Hadayah" in gematria equals "Your licentiousness") and she secluded herself with one young man from our sacred Yeshiva, and she drank and became drunk with him with beer called Stella Artois (whose gematria is "also Lot" and "death") and then they watched television together, which is A CLEAR PROHIBITION ACCORDING TO ALL OUR MASTERS AND RABBIS, MAY THEY LIVE LONG AND GOOD YEARS May Hashem have mercy. And it is not enough for her that she committed this abomination, but she desecrated the Name of God in public by writing an article on the matter, which she placed in the "YU Beacon" (whose gematria is "sword," because it is a sharp sword placed on the neck of the Yeshiva administration). And although our masters and rabbis the Roshei Yeshiva and the Mashgichim and the Sganei Mashgichim and the "Shabbos Coordinator" and the "Assistant Shabbos Coordinator" and the "Beis Medrash Coordinator" and the Senior Scholar of the CJF and the Presidential Fellows and the Stem student council president and the Groggers complained about this, still the Anonymous Girl from Stem remains unknown, and we cannot excommunicate and ostracize her as appropriate. And even though we need not worry that this ever happened in our holy Yeshiva more than once, WE ARE OBLIGATED TO CREATE A CENSORSHIP COMMITTEE TO SILENCE ANYONE WHO WOUL.D DARE CRITICIZE THE YESHIVA STUDENTS in the Beacon or the Commentator, in the Associate or in the Quipster (which is like "that German"), for when your son asks you tomorrow what this is, HOW CAN WE EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN THIS?
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