The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits Compiled by R. Gary Hendra, the MacScouter [email protected], http://www.macscouter.com Table of Contents Title Page Title Page Introduction 1 Cub Cookout 18 Staging Skits 1 Cub Olympics 19 Other Sources of Skits 2 Cub Scout Socks 19 The Big Book of Skits 3 Cub Shop 19 Damn! (or should I say Darn?) 20 The Airplane 3 Dancing Knee Dolls 20 Airplane Short Runway 3 The Dangerous Tent 20 American Folk Tale Skit 3 The Dead Body 20 The Ants 4 The Den Mother's Bouquet 21 Artistic Genius 4 Did You Have V-8? 21 The Great Aug 4 Dinner Special 21 The Babies & Dads 5 Doctor! Doctor! 22 Backpacking 5 Doctor's Office 22 A Bad Turn 5 Doggie Doctor 22 Balloon Orchestra 5 Doggie Doo 22 The Baseball Game 6 The Dumb Actors 23 Bear Hunt 6 Easter Bunny 23 Bee Sting 6 The Echo 24 The Root Beer Commercial 7 Echo, again! 24 Bell Ringer #1 7 Echo Point 24 Bell Ringer # 2 8 Elevated Gum 24 Bell Ringer # 3 8 The Elevator 25 Be Prepared 8 Emergency Room Doctor 25 The Best Spitter In The World 8 The Enlarging Machine 25 The Better Thief 8 Eskimo Pie 25 The Bicycle Shop 9 The Failed Reporter 26 Big Game Hunting 9 The Fire 26 Big Itch 9 Firebuilding 26 The Bigger Jerk 9 The Firing Squad 27 The Biggest Turkey 9 Version 2: 27 Black Bart 10 Fish Market 27 The Blanket Tossing Team 10 Fishin' 27 Blindfold 10 Fishing 27 Bonfire 10 Fishing on a Park Bench 28 Border Crossing 10 Fishing Success 28 Brain Shop 11 The Fishing Trip 28 Brain Transplant 11 Flasher 28 The Briefcase 12 Flea 28 A Brotherhood of Scouting 12 The Flea Circus 29 The Bubble Gum on the Street 13 Flora the Flea 29 The Bubble Gum in the Studios 13 Fly in the Soup 30 Buffalo Stories 13 Flying High 30 Bus Driver 14 Fly in the Soup 30 C.P.R. 14 Food, Water & Mirror on the Sahara 30 Camel Patrol 14 The Fortune Teller 30 Camp Coffee Sketch 15 Four Leaf Clover 31 Can You Do This? 15 The Four Seasons 31 The Candy Shop 15 Fred the Trained Flea 31 The Candy Store 15 Friends of Years 31 Candy Store 16 The Frightened Hunter 31 Candy Store (variation) 16 Game Show 32 Change Underwear 16 Gathering of the Nuts I 32 Chewing Gum 16 Gathering of the Nuts II 32 Chin Faces 16 The General Store 32 Climb That 16 The Ghost of Midnight 33 The Compass 17 Ghost With One Black Eye 33 The Complaining Monk 17 Ghostcatchers 33 Contagious Disease Ward 18 Giant Worm 34 Court Case 18 Glass of Water 34 Court Scene 18 Go Cart 34 Crazy Charlie 18 The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- ii -- January 1997 Table of Contents Title Page Title Page Gone Fishin' 34 Little Green Ball 53 The Good Samaritan 34 Listen at the Wall 53 Good Soup 35 Living Xylophone 53 Granny! Wake Up! 35 Lobster Tail 54 Granny's Candy Store 35 The Loon Hunt 54 The Greatest Spitter in the World 36 Lost Item around Campfire 54 Grease 36 The Lost Lollipop 54 Green Side Up! Green Side Up! 36 The Lost Quarter 55 The Greyhound Bus 36 Lunch Break 55 The Growing Machine 37 Mad Reporter 56 The Hair Cut Machine 37 The Magic Bandanna 56 Hairy Hamburger 37 The Magic Doctor's Chair 56 Harlem Globetrotters 37 Martian Mamma 56 Have You Seen my Belly Button? 38 Measurement Problem 57 The Heart Attack 38 Medical Genius 57 Heaven's Gate 38 Military Genius 57 Herman, The Trained Flea 38 Mixed Body Acting 57 Hiccup for Me 38 Mixed Up Magic 57 The Highest Tree climber in the World 39 The Motorcycle Gang 58 A Hot Meal! 39 The Motorcycle Shop 58 How do I do That? 40 Mr. Kerplunk 58 How to Make the Team 41 Musical Genius 59 How to Wash An Elephant 41 Musical Toilet Seat Salesman 59 I Gotta Go Wee 41 Norbert 59 Igor 42 Napoleon's Last Farewell 60 I'm Gonna Get You! 42 The New Badge 60 I'm Russian! 42 The New Car 60 The Important Papers 42 New Saw 61 The Important Meeting 43 News Flash! 61 In the Furniture Store 43 No Rocket Scientist 62 The Infantry 43 Nosebleed 62 The Injury 44 No Skit 62 The Inspection 44 Nutty Fisherman 62 Intelligence 44 The Nurses 62 In the Furniture Store 44 Offensive Bus Passenger 63 The Invisible Bench 45 Oh-Wa-Ta-Goo-Siam 63 Is a Train Passing Today? 45 The Old Gum 63 Is Captain Kidd Afraid of Himself? 45 Old Movie Scene 63 Is It Time Yet? 45 Old Socks 63 I Gotta Go Weee! 46 The Olde Lighthouse 63 J.C. Penney 46 Olympic Drama 64 Join the Army! 47 OOOOOO A Bug! 64 Joke Teller 47 The Operation 64 Jumbo Burgers 47 The Outhouse in the Yangtze River 64 The Jump 47 The Outhouse Sketch 65 Karate Orientale 48 The Outlaw 65 Keep Canada Beautiful Contest 48 Over the Cliff 65 Knot Demonstration 49 The Page (The Skit) 66 The King's Raisins 49 Painting the Walls 66 Knot Demonstration 49 Panther Tracks 66 The Land Shark 49 The Parachute 66 The Lawn Mower I 50 The Party Warehouse 67 The Lawnmower II 50 Pass the Pepper 67 Learning English 50 Patience, Jackass, Patience! 67 Learning the Alphabet 50 Peanuts 68 Let Me Have It! 51 Peanuts in the Lake 68 Letters from Home 51 Pencils 69 Lie Detector 52 Pet Shop 70 The Lighthouse Sketch 52 Pickin' Cotton 70 The Lighthouse 52 Pickpocket 71 Lightening Strike 53 Pickpockets 71 Lights, Camera, Action 53 Pickpockets #2 71 Litter Hurts 53 Pie in the Face 71 The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- iii -- January 1997 Table of Contents Title Page Title Page The Pilfered Warehouse 71 Submarine 90 The Pirate Family 72 Submarine Patrol 90 Plane Landing 72 Submarine Training 90 Play Ball 72 The Successful Fisherman 90 PLC Meeting 72 Super Clutz 91 Poison Spring 73 A Talking Martian! 91 The Poor Excuses 73 Tankety Tank 91 Pop Commercial 73 Tenting 92 Post Office / King's Royal Paper 73 Thar's a Bear 92 Potted Plant 74 There's a Bear! 92 Presents for the Teacher 74 The Thinker 93 Prisoner 74 The Thirsty Donkey 93 The Professor's Address 74 The Thirsty Fisherman 93 Puppy in the Box 75 Three Against 1000 94 A Quiet Day 75 Three Rivers 94 Raisin 75 Three Rivers II 94 Real Thing 76 Three Scoops 95 Reggie and the Colonel 76 Ticket Line 95 The Restaurant 76 Time on the Park Bench 95 Restaurant Minutes 76 Timothy Eaton 95 Rise, Walk, and Kill, Igor 77 Toothache 96 River Run 77 Toothpaste 96 Rowing 77 Tracks 96 Salesman 78 The Trained Caterpillar 96 Saloon 78 The Train Skit 96 Sarge And The Private 78 The Trees 97 School's on Fire 79 Trick or Treat 97 Scientific Genius 79 Trimming the Christmas Tree 97 The Scout Uniform 79 Turkey Contest 98 Scoutmaster's Brains 79 The Twelve Days of Christmas 98 Scoutmaster's Gift 80 Twist Mouth Family 99 Scoutmaster's Saw 80 Ugliest Man in the World (or Bad Breath) 99 The Screwy Navel 80 Ugly Baby 99 Shape Up! 81 Up Harold 99 The Short Runway 81 Upside Down Singers 99 The Shrimpy Boxer 81 Vampire Snack 99 Shut Up! 81 The Viper is Coming 100 The Siberian Chicken Farmer 82 The Wall 100 Sidewalk Climbing 82 The Waiter 100 Singer 83 Waiter! 100 Six Wise Travelers 83 The Waiting Room 101 The Sleep Walker 83 Washington's Farewell 101 Slug Trainers 84 Water, Water! 101 The Smart Scout 84 We Ain't Got the Money for the Mortgage on the Farm 101 Smoke Signals 84 We Hit! 102 The Sneeze 84 The Weather Man 102 Soldier In the Battlefield 84 The Well-Trained Elephant 103 Someone Chanted Evening 84 What the Heck Was That? 103 Sounds of the Lost Scoutmaster 84 What Time is it? 104 The Sounds of the Wilderness 85 What's the Problem? 104 Sour Notes 85 What's 2+2? 104 Space Derby Skit. 85 Who Sneezed? 104 The Special Papers 86 Why Are You Late? 105 Spelling Contest 86 Worlds Greatest Pitcher 105 The Split Ball 86 The World's Greatest Spitter 105 SPL's Too Tough To Be Tasty 87 The World's Ugliest Man 106 Spring 87 What a Day 106 Spring is Sprung! 87 The Wrong Skit 106 Star Gazing 88 You Don't Say! 106 St. Peter 88 You Need a Tie, Sir 106 The Statue Warehouse 89 You've Broken the Rules! 107 Statues in the Park 89 Yukon Winter 107 The Strange Trees 89 49...49...49 108 The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- iv -- January 1997 Table of Contents Title Page Title Page The 5th Floor 109 7 Jerks on the Line 109 Walk-ons, Run-ons and Other Shorts 111 The Announcement 111 Going to Court 111 Beam Me Up 112 Smoke Signals 112 Little Brother 112 Squirrels 112 Its All Around Me! 112 Leaving 112 Pulling String 112 All Over Me 112 Throwing Up 113 Fire Drill 113 Alien 113 The Ruler 113 I'm a Rabbit 113 Missed 113 Pop Quiz 113 Wait! Wait! 113 What a Day 114 The Nutty Fisherman 114 Bee Sting 114 Finale 114 The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits -- v -- January 1997 Introduction The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits is the result of compiling skits from various Internet Scouting sources, and lots of creative people.