Transcript by MrsBlueBacon
EFA Episode 211 Hurts So Good
[ph] – Indicates preceding word has been spelled phonetically [sic] – Indicates preceding word has been transcribed verbatim
MUSIC : Write My Story by Olly Anna
ANNOUNCER GUY : You've tuned in to the Earp Fiction Addiction, a fan podcast all about Wynonna Earp fanfiction. Join our intrepid host DarkWiccan and Delayne as they dive deep into the sometimes sweet, sometimes spicy, and always varied world of fanfiction for the Wynonna Earp fandom.
MUSIC : A Proper Story by Darren Korb
DARKWICCAN : Thanks announcer guy and welcome everybody to another episode of the Earp Fiction Addiction, the podcast dedicated entirely to Wynonna Earp fanfiction. I am your host, DarkWiccan, and with me, hastily compiling all of her gift receipts so she can return those things she didn’t want from the holiday, is my delightful cohost
DELAYNE : [snicker] Hi, it’s Delayne.
DARKWICCAN : And happy new year.
DELAYNE : Oh, yeah. Wow. Like my concept of time. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Well, our concept of time is screwy anyway because for us recording right now, it’s still twenty eighteen, and technically...
DELAYNE : Right, but the idea of it being twenty nineteen.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah.
DELAYNE : Blows my damn mind.
DARKWICCAN : Ok, that’s fair. I know, it’s nuts. It’s absolutely nuts. I don’t know that I’m ready for twenty gayteen to be over.
DELAYNE : [laughter] I need just a couple more months, please.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Just one or two. [said over Delayne]
DELAYNE : There’s so much shit I didn’t get done. [said over DarkWiccan]
DARKWICCAN : Give me an extra, give me an extra fourteen days at least. Uh, but yeah, we should have actually said happy new year last week, when our episode aired because it was already into twenty nineteen, so we’re still a little late, we’re still a little late. But happy new year everybody. I hope that so far it’s shaping up to be an enjoyable one, and that we haven’t, um, experienced thermonuclear war [laughter] by the time this posts.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Way to be positive.
DARKWICCAN : Well, ya know [laughter] I’m trying to like, um, dig into the kind of dark recesses because this week we’re talking about a very angsty fic.
DELAYNE : Yes. [laughter] Valid point. Ok.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah. Yeah yeah. I mean, it’s an angsty fic with a happy ending, but woof. What a ride to get there.
DELAYNE : Oh my gosh. I [laughter], this one hurts.
DARKWICCAN : It hurts so good.
DELAYNE : [laughter] It does.
DARKWICCAN : It’s one of those stories where as you’re reading it, you feel your chest constricting ever so slightly each chapter. And your throat gets a little tighter and you’re just like “oh god this is so painful, but I can’t stop reading it because it’s so well written.”
DELAYNE : Exactly. When it’s that well written you have to keep reading. Not only ‘cause you need things to get better, but because it pulls you in that much.
DARKWICCAN : Absolutely it pulls you in and you’re just strapped in and along for the ride and can only cross your fingers and hope that it’s gonna turn out ok in the end even though the author has promised you at the outset that it’s gonna be ok. You just keep waiting. You keep waiting.
DELAYNE : [laughter throughout DarkWiccan speaking] So, should we mention what one we’re talking about?
DARKWICCAN : Well, if we have to. I mean, should we subject our listeners to this pain?
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Of course we should. Yes, of course we should.
DELAYNE : Ooh. Let’s torture you just a little bit more.
DARKWICCAN : Yes.
DELAYNE : As we were tortured. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Yes. Draw it out. So, this story is called “Dawn at the Homestead” it is by the author Sayda [ph][Seda is correct spelling], or possibly pronounced Seeda. We don’t know.
DELAYNE : I was wondering that myself, actually just before we started recording.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter]
DELAYNE : Like, I would say Seeda, but it’s probably Sayda.
DARKWICCAN : It’s probably Sayda because I was thinking like Sega, ‘cause it’s S E D A and Sega is S E G A. So, the say [ph] sound before the consonant. I’m probably overthinking it, or maybe I’m underthinking it, I don’t know.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Maybe it’s pronounced George. Maybe it’s just...
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : ...completely other.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Uh, yes, that’s a, my name’s George. That’s spelled S E D A.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Yeah. Hey, these days parents are coming up with some pretty creative spellings of names. So, ya know.
DELAYNE : [laughter] As a Delayne with a Y in the wrong spot. I, well, that’s my own spelling but whatever, yeah.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] But, ya know I don’t, I don’t. Ok, to go off on a slight tangent. I don’t buy into the whole notion of like ya know, “well, parents should have known when they named their child that, that they were going to catch heck.” It’s like, no, actually maybe we should try to be better people and learn how to pronounce someone’s name even if it has a strange pronunciation.
DELAYNE : Thank you. Thank you. [sing songy]
DARKWICCAN : Or a strange spelling. Just take that extra second and be like “oh and how do you pronounce that?” Ya know.
DELAYNE : Oh, I had some fun pronunciations in college. Like, I, that’s not French. Like, what? Where is that even coming from?
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Where do you think I am from? [laughter] ‘Cause it sounds far more exotic and interesting than where I’m actually from.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Like, no, just Americanize that up a bit. You got it, there you go.
DARKWICCAN : Take everything interesting out of it.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Oh.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Anyway, let’s get back to this fic. Let’s get back to this fic by the author...
DELAYNE : It’s like we don’t wanna talk about it ‘cause it’s so painful.
DARKWICCAN : ...I know, right?! By the author formerly known as George.
DELAYNE : [laughter] We’re gonna get so much crap for this already.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Ok, so, no seriously, let’s talk about this fic. This is a fantastic masterwork of tension and release. It is, you are kept on a tight wire almost from the beginning and when you finally get that release in uh, around chapter thirteen or fourteen. I think it’s thirteen.
DELAYNE : Right. Out of fifteen.
DARKWICCAN : It is like. Not fifteen, it comes before the end.
DELAYNE : No, yeah I was saying thirteen or fourteen out of fifteen total. That’s how long you have to wait. [said over DarkWiccan]
DARKWICCAN : Out of fifteen, yeah. [said over Delayne] But in all fairness, the chapters aren’t heinously long chapters.
DELAYNE : That’s true.
DARKWICCAN : I mean, the whole piece is only about thirty one thousand words, so it’s not that, it’s not really that heavy of a read word count wise.
DELAYNE : Right.
DARKWICCAN : It’s really just the incredible work and sculpturing that this author, Seda, has done um, in laying out every scene, and uh, and how she really, and I did confirm pronouns [laughter].
DELAYNE : Thank you, I was just about to ask.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, but how she really does draw you in and hold you there and uses the canonical imagery from the show to really build that clearer picture and really catch you and keep you in that moment. Um.
DELAYNE : Yeah, ‘cause this is a retelling of canon with some major key differences.
DARKWICCAN : Ooh boy. Yes.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Major, major differences, and also, this was written prior to season three.
DELAYNE : Yes.
DARKWICCAN : And there are some bullseyes that Seda hits as far as things that happen within canon that she could not have had any clue about.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Because this finished posting, I just, um, I think the last chapter had notes, and so the first episode had been seen, and even Seda was surprised at the happy scene of them watching, in the morning, and um, I think she said “this chapter has kind of a similar scene” and was completely blown away.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Yeah, yeah.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : But let’s, ok, so let’s talk about the similarities. This is a largely canon, would you say, adjacent, canon...
DELAYNE : See, I use the word retelling and I think that’s the one I’m gonna stick with, ‘cause.
DARKWICCAN : I think that’s a good word. I think you’re absolutely right. Yeah.
DELAYNE : Yeah.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, yeah. So, all the stuff about the Earp curse, that’s still in play. All the um, like, monsters of the week from seasons one and two are all in play. Um, so ya know, I mean it really is kind of taking almost, almost episode by episode. Not really, but almost, kind of key moments from each of the seasons, and playing those scenes out.
DELAYNE : Yeah.
DARKWICCAN : But with the twist, and the twist is...
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : ...Nicole is married. Now wait a minute, you’re gonna say. That’s not a twist because...
DELAYNE : [laughter] We learned about that twist, what are you talking about?
DARKWICCAN : We know about that. Well, the twist is, she is married happily to someone not Shae. She is married to a woman by the name of Chris, and they have been together for a long time, it was not a Vegas wedding.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : And, they are very much each other’s support system and family. So, Nicole and Chris are a unit when they arrive in Purgatory.
DELAYNE : Yes.
DARKWICCAN : And...
DELAYNE : [laughter] And that changes, majorly changes some iconic scenes.
DARKWICCAN : It changes everything.
DELAYNE : It really [laughter].
DARKWICCAN : And it raises the stakes immensely.
DELAYNE : Oh yeah.
DARKWICCAN : And I love how the first time that Nicole meets Waverly, in the iconic bar tap incident scene.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : That she is absentmindedly flirting with Waverly and stops herself, like “what am I doing? Why did I say that?”
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Ya know.
DELAYNE : Yeah, ‘cause that first line, it wasn’t about wet t shirt contests, ‘cause that would be, that would be much, just way too much for a first line, so it was like “oh I guess Nedley was right, the beer taps are always flowin’ at Shorty’s.”
DARKWICCAN : Yeah. [laughter] Yes, yeah. “I didn’t know he meant it literally.”
DELAYNE : [laughter] So, I, just, even that small, just the way that was written to still be hilarious.
DARKWICCAN : Mhmm.
DELAYNE : And iconic but without, ‘cause you can’t have flirty Nicole who has a wife, being all “ooh wet t shirt contest.”
DARKWICCAN : Right, yeah. But I also love how still Seda managed to capture that instant magnetism between the two of them.
DELAYNE : Yeah, ‘cause Nicole started to say “when I see something I like ” Wait a minute. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : “When I see something I want ” Yeah, “when I see something I want ” and then she cut herself off. Like, “why am I saying that?”
DELAYNE : And was like “uuh, yeah your door was open.”
DARKWICCAN : Yeah.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Which was a good play on that lame sort of “oh, well, and your door was open, so ”
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so right off the bat we do have that charge of electricity, that charge of attraction between these two people, but they can’t be together, and I found it really fascinating to see, into Waverly’s mind and thought processes.
DELAYNE : Yes.
DARKWICCAN : And Nicole’s thought processes, and how they are both good people trying to do the right thing. And that is so painful. [laughter] It’s so painful because we know that they’re supposed to be together.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Right, that’s the thing when you have, when you have soulmates and, of course, we’ve seen this played out time and time again. You have uh, two people who really are supposed to be together, and one of them is currently with someone else, usually it turns out horribly, but the soulmates still get together.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, and something I really liked and appreciated, is much like uh, the idea of Shae in the series, we have uh, a wife who is not a shrew. We have a wife who is a good person, um, she is not like Shae, in that her appearance...
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : ...her appearance or general sort of mannerisms or likes, dislikes things like that. She’s not a doctor, she’s rather bookish, and she’s rather butch, and not like intensely so, but she’s got the short haircut, she’s got the hipstery glasses and she’s got that kind of aesthetic going on, and...
DELAYNE : [laughter] The nerdy butch vibe.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, yeah. And uh, and she’s a, she’s a good person. And she does start fighting to keep Nicole, but I mean, who wouldn’t, my god. Who wouldn’t fight to keep Nicole.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : I mean, that is a definite dig in your heels type situation, and uh.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : I just really enjoyed the way that Seda set that whole dynamic up where Chris is trying to be reasonable and she’s trying to be considerate and she’s trying to be um, open minded because she knows that Nicole would never cheat on her, and this is the truth. Nicole would never cheat on her, and Nicole reaffirms her commitment to Chris, repeatedly, and ya know, “I’m here for you. I’m committed to you. This is our life together.” And so you can see Chris kind of going through these stages of like “ok, I’m going to be chill about this, um, I recognize that there is an attraction between my wife and this other person, I trust my wife” and we go through that. Then we get into the “it’s not that I don’t trust you it’s that I need you to not speak to this person anymore, for me. I need, I didn’t wanna be that person, but right now I think I need to be that person.” So...
DELAYNE : And yeah, it wasn’t like, like you said true, straight up jealous, crazy “you stay away from her sort” of business, ya know, yeah, so that was nice to see.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah. And again, so...
DELAYNE : For not making Chris the bad guy.
DARKWICCAN : Exactly, Chris is not the bad guy, if anything, Chris kind of ends up being the hero of the story.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : I mean, honestly.
DELAYNE : I, really there are very few outcomes that would be honorable for all involved.
DARKWICCAN : Mhmm.
DELAYNE : And, Seda took the, pretty much the only option. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, there were very limited ways that this could go. I mean, and it still be ok for Nicole to, to be with Waverly. And, ya know, yeah, I think the most, this was the most palatable option.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Of the options. [laughter]
DELAYNE : ‘Cause wow, they go through some scenes um, ‘cause, ‘cause the Nedley’s couch scene...
DARKWICCAN : Mhmm.
DELAYNE : ...where Waverly, how far into spoilerish territory are we going here.
DARKWICCAN : Well, I mean, ok, yeah, we can talk about parallels. Alright, so, in the television series, we all know how the Nedley’s couch scene goes.
DELAYNE : Right. Waverly admits she likes Nicole by kissing her.
DARKWICCAN : Right, but that cannot happen in this version of the world, but she can still admit that she likes Nicole.
DELAYNE : Yes, and she does.
DARKWICCAN : And, so, and she does. She admits it. And, it’s one of those moments where like, it’s [laughter] it’s one of those moments where Waverly really isn’t thinking.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : She’s thinking for herself, she’s thinking “if I get this information out in the open, then it’s out of my system and I can start working through it and getting past it.” But she doesn’t stop and think about how this information is going to affect Nicole.
DELAYNE : Oh my gosh, that line. Nicole’s line. Ugh.
DARKWICCAN : Ugh.
DELAYNE : Do you want your heart do just break? [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : I know. Especially after how magnanimous she is, right before that moment.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : She’s like, “I’m so thankful that you felt you could come tell me these things. It’s ok, we’ll get through this together. I understand.”
DELAYNE : “I’ll still be your friend.”
DARKWICCAN : “I’ll still be your friend.”
DELAYNE : “But yeah, we can’t do this.” Yeah.
DARKWICCAN : And, and then...
DELAYNE : [sigh]
DARKWICCAN : ...and then. Ugh. [laughter]
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : And.
DELAYNE : Oh my gosh. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : And really, it speaks to how well Nicole has been able to keep her personal feelings close to the vest.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : How, how Waverly genuinely seemed to not have any clue that it might be reciprocal, ya know.
DELAYNE : Yeah.
DARKWICCAN : Um, and, and that’s part of why she didn’t add that extra element of thought into what that kind of a confession might do to somebody else, um, especially if they were harboring similar feelings. So, yeah, just woof. [laughter]
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Uh, but I mean, other things too. I mean we do have the widow bite happen as it would have happened in season two and Nicole ending up in dire straits in the hospital, but this time Chris is there.
DELAYNE : Mhmm. And Chris says the line.
DARKWICCAN : Uh yeah, “she really loves you, Waverly Earp.” Yeah.
DELAYNE : [laughter] Like oooh.
DARKWICCAN : Yes, and...
DELAYNE : That blew me away. I was blown away.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah.
DELAYNE : Like “what?”
DARKWICCAN : And, but I also love the beauty of the tragedy of that moment where here you have two women who are the only two women in the world who know what it’s like to be on the verge of losing the love of their life and it happens to be the same person.
DELAYNE : Yeah. It is beautiful and heartbreaking and sad and uh, but they’re, they comfort each other and Waverly finds the strength she needs to do what she ends up doing.
DARKWICCAN : Yes, but I mean this whole story is building up the pressure in a bottle right.
DELAYNE : Mhmm.
DARKWICCAN : Everything is building and building and building and at some point, there’s gotta be a release, the top’s gotta blow.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : And, and the top blows at Dolls’ funeral. That’s right. Seda foretold the death of Dolls. I mean [blow up sound]. [laughter]
DELAYNE : [laughter] Right, so at this point we have gotten through, um, all two seasons in canon and ya know, brief mention, ‘cause at this point, Nicole has been told not to see Waverly anymore.
DARKWICCAN : Mhmm.
DELAYNE : And, side note, they go after Bulshar and Dolls doesn’t make it, and how spot on is that? Oh my gosh.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Yeah, just crazy. Just crazy. And one of the many things that Seda nailed in writing this story.
DELAYNE : Yeah.
DARKWICCAN : Prior to the airing of season three.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : So, as you said, uh, Nicole has been forbidden by Chris from speaking to Waverly at this point, but Dolls’ death is an exception. [snicker] Uh, Chris knows that Waverly’s going to be at the funeral. Chris opts not to join Nicole at the funeral ‘cause she sees it as a death of Nicole’s colleague, so she doesn’t really feel like it’s her place to be there, plus the whole Waverly thing. She just doesn’t wanna be there. So, well, it’s that moment in time where you forget yourself and you forget everything and you just need connection for a moment.
DELAYNE : Ok.
DARKWICCAN : With someone you care about and who cares about you, and so all thought just goes out the window and in that one moment in time you lose yourself, and that’s, but then you come back to yourself and it’s horrible.
DELAYNE : [snicker]
DARKWICCAN : And, poor Nicole. [laughter]
DELAYNE : Ahaha.
DARKWICCAN : Has a bit of a break down and Waverly promises her that she will fix the problem. How, you ask? Well, I’m not going to tell you. [laughter]
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : You have to read the story. But yeah, before we, before we kinda jump into the next phase here, let’s talk about the things that Seda managed to nail. For example, Nicole’s parents.
DELAYNE : Nicole’s hippie deadbeat parents. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Yes. Like Nicole’s parents who are disappointed in her for becoming a cop.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Like, how did she nail that? [laughter]
DELAYNE : Right, ‘cause, almost, I, we’ve only had, what, one other exception, and it wasn’t quite the same, but it was, but uh, it wasn’t that Nicole was gay, which is usually how it’s been written.
DARKWICCAN : Right.
DELAYNE : In fact, in this story, it’s Chris’ parents, but that’s how they then decided that they needed to form their own family.
DARKWICCAN : Right, that’s really what led them to getting married, was Chris’ rejection from her family, and Nicole’s rejection from her family for wanting to go into law enforcement. And, so they were like, “we’re blood family less now, so let’s just create our own family. Let’s just get married.” So, ya know, yeah. [laughter]
DELAYNE : Yeah, but like woah. That was spot on.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, it really, it was. Because the the other instance we talked about on this show, it was in the Fawning over Florae series where it was more like Nicole’s mother looked at police work as blue collar and beneath them.
DELAYNE : Yeah.
DARKWICCAN : Ya know, ‘cause they were white collar, uppercrust people. So, in this instance it really is, no, they’re hippies and, ya know, they didn’t want their daughter workin’ for the man, man. [said in a stoner voice]
DELAYNE : [laughter] Or possibly getting them in trouble for any illegal activity they’re currently participating in.
DARKWICCAN : Right, right. “You gonna narc on us?” That’s not a direct quote, I don’t think, I don’t recall. Uh, but yeah, so that is more truly in line with what we get the feeling of from canonical version of the story of Nicole’s parents from the show, so yeah, just kinda free wheelin’ hippies.
DELAYNE : Was there any more, or those were the two main, obvious, nail on the head.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah. Those were the main, obvious ones. But, I just gotta say I love the idea of Nicole’s version of rebelling was becoming totally straight laced. [laughter]
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : ‘Cause it’s like her parents were just like “hey whatever, man” and ya know, so she was like “alright, well, I’m gonna follow the rules precisely and I’m going to live by a system and I’m going to be orderly and I’m going to, ya know, become a cop”. I just love the fact that she basically got a part time job at her school because the teacher’s noticed that she was constantly being forgotten by her parents to come get her, so they were like “you wanna help the janitor?” [laughter]
DELAYNE : I actually know a few people who essentially went the military route because they, ya know, having a completely disordered life, they craved...
DARKWICCAN : Structure.
DELAYNE : ...laws and orders and rules, so yeah.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah.
DELAYNE : It makes sense.
DARKWICCAN : Well, I don’t know about you, but I certainly would like to know more about how Seda came up with these bullseyes that she happened to land in season three by accident, and uh, really how she developed this story, and everything.
DELAYNE : Uh, yeah, that sounds like a great idea. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Uh, so we have an interesting situation this time around. Um, so Seda did and did not agree to come on the show. Uh, so we respect our authors um, privacy immensely here, obviously. Most of us use a pseudonym. Example, DarkWiccan, um.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : And, so oftentimes when authors come on the show, we’ll ask them “how would you like us to refer to you”, and ya know, either they’ll tell us to keep using their pseud or they’ll give an alternative name. Whether it’s their actual name or just a nickname or whatever. Doesn’t really matter to us, but that’s usually enough for authors to feel comfortable coming on the show, and remaining as anonymous as they want to be. Now, Seda is unique in that she is very concerned about her anonymity being foiled. So, we came up with a different solution. What we did is we sent her our questions in advance, and she replied back in writing. So, for our second segment today, we’re going to essentially be conducting a mock interview, where we will ask our questions, and then my lovely wife will read Seda’s answers. So, we will still be having a second segment with an author interview, it’s just a performative author interview. So, this is a new one for us, but I think it’s gonna be...
DELAYNE : We’ve done a modified version before when we had two authors on...
DARKWICCAN : That’s correct.
DELAYNE : ...and one of them was unavailable to participate.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, that’s right. They were unavailable because they couldn’t get to a place to actually be able to record, um, safely, so they provided their answers in writing, and that was for the Diverse Dynamics episode of season one.
DELAYNE : Yes.
DARKWICCAN : So, we had my wife step in and read Jude81’s answers on air. So, we’re basically doing that, except instead of having an additional author um, who is live with us, it’s all just pre written answers. So, just sorta know that, we’re not gonna have the usual kinda banter and back and forth that you might expect from the secondary segment.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Uh, but I can tell you, having read Seda’s answers, that they are very lively and a lot of fun, and I know my wife’s gonna have fun reading them, and so we’ll keep it as exciting as we possibly can. But, yeah, so, that’s just a little quick explanation of what you can expect in segment two. But before we dive into segment two, we have to introduce this week’s reverse sponsor.
DELAYNE : This week’s reverse sponsor is Taylor Rose.
MUSIC : Coalescence by Chris Christodoulou
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MUSIC : Hurts so Good by John Cougar Mellencamp
DARKWICCAN : And welcome back everybody, to the Earp Fiction Addiction, the podcast dedicated entirely to Wynonna Earp fanfiction. I am your host, DarkWiccan, and with me is my lovely cohost
DELAYNE : Delayne.
DARKWICCAN : And we are very excited because joining us for the second segment, is my lovely wife MJ, who will be reading off Seda’s answers to our questions that we sent to her previously. As we mentioned before, Seda is a bit concerned about retaining her anonymity in full, so in order to accommodate that, we sent her our questions previously and she provided us with her answers written out, so MJ will be reading that for us. Um, and my lovely wife being so very dedicated, is already in character, so we are going to go ahead...
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : ...and dive in, so, um, Seda, it is so wonderful having you on the show with us today, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer a few questions for us.
MJ as SEDA : Thanks so much. I just checked, and it’s pretty much exactly one year since I started my first fic. At the time, I genuinely thought it would be a one off, but these ideas just keep popping up and I keep needing to just get them out of my system. So, writing these things has been such a huge part of my last year, and yet I’ve not talked to anyone about it, at all. So, it’s such an enormous, bloody, treat, to actually be asked to talk about it, so thank you, and I hope all of this is interesting.
DELAYNE : So, Seda, there were so many iconic Wayhaught scenes, like their intro bar scene or the Nedley’s office scene, which was was the most difficult to write and why?
MJ as SEDA : Oh god, the very first one deffo. Sorry, this is no deep answer, but I always really struggle with set up, and I always feel like it takes two or three chapters to get into the writing of any story, and I'm never happy with the beginning of any of my multi chapter ones, this one included. So that's not a very interesting answer but it's a true one. Like, I really wanted to convey that same sense of flirtation and connection that is practically canon in fics by now I'm genuinely unsure if the show means to portray it as love at first sight but being a ridiculous romantic, me and like half the other authors out there kinda like to interpret it that way but I wanted Nicole to be sorta still making those advances, but also catching herself, like “whats going on here? Why am I flirting?” But I really don't know if I captured that right. I guess I'll maybe be cheeky and turn your question around if I can? And say that actually, I absolutely loved writing all those canon scene re writes, and to be honest they were the easiest part of the fic to get down. They honestly kind of wrote themselves. Like, the whole premise of the story was how would things play out if you started them from this alternative starting point? And well the characters of the show are just so well realised it's like the answers to that question just fell out of me without much of the way of conscious effort. So, the only scenes I actually had a plan for when I first figured out the concept for the fic were the one oh nine ones Nedley's office, and the misunderstanding scene in the street.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
MJ as SEDA : For all the others, I kept on just putting them in those scenes, and kinda watched myself what happened next! I'm curious though about your question were there any that didn't work as a reader?
DARKWICCAN : Uh, no, I don’t think so. I think actually, everything was remarkably seamless. Delayne, what do you think?
DELAYNE : No, they all worked for me, uh, the fact that they worked so well with the changes is why I asked the question, ‘cause it did work so well. So, how difficult was it, ya know.
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, and in fact, it wasn’t just a matter of making changes to those scenes in particular, but also sort of general changes to the character’s background as well. Could you tell us more on your motivation to not make Nicole’s wife Shae.
MJ as SEDA : Yeah for sure. Main thing really is that Shae has a whole set of connotations attached to her in the fandom which carry this massive massive weight, and it felt like that would dominate or basically throw off what I wanted for the story. Like, when she popped up from nowhere everyone was so shocked, and a lot of people pretty appalled by the sheer fact of her, right? For what it's worth I think what she's been saddled with is actually a little unfair to the character of Shae as she's portrayed in the show. You look at the character on the show and actually, in what she says and does, she's kinda a sweetheart. But I know for my own part I can't be wholly objective about her, because it just felt like such an oddity in the show. Not Nicole being married for my money the character that is Nicole Haught would *totally* get married, and would totally get married young. And yeah, as I've written it, I can totally see her getting married for kinda the wrong reasons, for sure. But I've never been able to wrap my head around her doing this wild impulsive Vegas wedding she's such an old fashioned, respect for authority type, I don't see her entering into marriage lightly like that. So, okay, I could've still maybe have had my scenario but done it with Shae. But I also wanted to do things with the character of Nicole's wife that I didn't think fit in with even the brief glimpse of what we saw of Shae. Like, I wanted Nicole's wife to be this sort of bookish, maybe a little shy, certainly ever so slightly spiky character, but still enough of a good person that you can see Nicole genuinely liking and caring for her. And I wanted her to have a sort of 'you and me against the world babe’ relationship with Nicole. And I wanted to write Nicole, for all her need to create a family in absence of her own, and also out of that kindness and loyalty and generosity of love she's got, effectively saying, “okay, sure, I can do that, you and me against the world it is then” and not really properly questioning if that's actually one hundred percent right for her, cos she's busy thinking about taking care of this other person. And, even if it is unfair to the character of Shae, I just couldn't see those two with that dynamic. Hence, enter stage left, Christine.
DELAYNE : So, this was written and published just before season three aired and before we find out in canon that Nicole had neglectful hippie parents. What was your reason for writing them that way?
MJ as SEDA : Aw yeah, I had a bit of a dance when it came out that way in the show! Like caaaalled [sic] it!
DELAYNE : [laughter]
MJ as SEDA : Nah, I'm joking I guess write enough around canon and you're going to get something right sooner or later! So it was probably just dumb luck, but for what it's worth I'll give you my reasoning. So, one of the things I love so much about the way Nicole Haught is written is just the matter of fact way she carries her lesbianism. Like, she just is, right? Like she's tall, or a redhead it's just another part of who she is, and it mostly only gets mentioned when it is actually relevant like when an eight foot gnome is trying to marry you off or whatever. And that's actually so rare and precious in TV representation like the number of characters where their gayness is a big story, and sometimes their only story, and really all that they are allowed to be. Whereas with Nicole it's just handled so naturally. I really do think they must have some queerness on the core writing staff cos there are these little moments that are handled with this amazing deftness which I'm not sure a straight person would necessarily get like that bit in the fire station with the fireman calendar and 'lucky me’ the look on her face god bless Kat Barrells comic delivery cos bloody hell she nails that sort of thing. Portraying someone who is just so completely at home and comfortable in her sexuality it's not upsetting to her when this assumption is made, but it's just like “naked man does not compute” :D And then of course there are times where she will respond where it feels right to, like with the funeral parlour dude, when she is all like fuck you, this woman is not yours to patronise or put in your small town box of assumptions thank you very much. I promise I'm getting to your question! My point is, that whilst it's practically canon in fics by now that Nicole's got homophobic parents and I'm not having a go, I did exactly that in my first fic too! No, just my experience of people who've had that sort of fight to be accepted in their youth are often a lot more front and centre about it later. You basically have to be, right, or else you'd just lose yourself in the shame and homophobia. But Nicole just seems so chill about the whole thing, and that kinda feels like it's mostly been no big deal for her. Whereas, okay, what *has* she got a chip on her shoulder about? What is palpably and demonstrably a massive part of her own self identity, and what has she lost her shit about on more than one occasion? That she's a cop, and she's a straight up by the book one at that. And that she wants to help, and be involved in stuff, and be important, and be relied on. There's a massive depth and actually I think a hurt and vulnerability to her feelings on all that that speak of having come through some sort of fight for it, and of maybe having had to make some sacrifices for it along the way. And she's so responsible, and such an old head on relatively young shoulders, and again that's something I've seen a lot in kids, women particularly, who've had to bring themselves or siblings up in neglectful situations. So, that all led me on to writing her parents like I did. Plus, like Waverly in the story, I could just totally see a teen Nicole stacking janitorial supplies with an air of absolute grave seriousness, and so really really wanted to write it.
DELAYNE : Uh, wow, that’s a good answer.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] That’s a great answer. Um, so, was it difficult to avoid falling into the standard tropes this scenario typically falls victim to?
MJ as SEDA : Umm, this might sound bad, but pretty easy I think? There are so many great fics out there that have trod this sort of ground, and I guess I very consciously didn't want to do the same, because, well a lot of the time it's been done really well and no point competing right?! I dunno, conscious I sound like a bit of a jerk saying this, but I wanted my Nicole to be a bit closer to the character you see in canon. There's a lot of great fics set when she's younger, or in AUs where I can see her having this rotten mean girlfriend who Waverly has to do righteous battle with or rescue Nicole from. But I didn't want that. I wanted that slightly more grown up, soft a.f. Nicole who's made good dating and life choices...I dunno. I can't see her getting married except to someone who was fundamentally a decent person, like Christine is meant to be. And I definitely didn't want them cheating. Like, I know they kissed before Chris left Nicole, but I really, really didn't want WayHaught to actually sleep together before Chris and Nicole properly separated. I think if they had done that the guilt would've just eaten them up, and poisoned what I wanted to be a beautiful moment for the two of them. So yeah, if you thought I managed to find any sort of freshness in this scenario, then I'm over the moon really!
DELAYNE : So, again, this was written before season three, so was killing off Dolls intended to be prophetic or was it pure coincidence?
MJ as SEDA : Pure co incidence! Aw, poor Dolls man! You know how guilty I've been feeling about that? Especially since the show went ahead and basically did the exact same thing. No, I'm afraid this one was actually pure boring logical plot reasons. Which is horrible really like lesbians have been killed off left right and centre for plot reasons for years, and it makes me livid, so to do that to Dolls, especially being another minority character, is pretty awful and I am cross with myself for doing it. But, okay, not to justify but to explain the reasoning. I knew I wanted that scene where they just give in and finally kiss to be at a funeral, for couple of reasons. First, just because they're so sad and grieving, they just need each other more than ever. Okay. But then, well I hope you don't know too much about this but you know there's always such a weird feeling about funeral days? Like it's a day out of time, you've got a day off work and everyone's saying “have a nice day off!” and you're kinda, “yeah, not so much”. And then half the time it's sunny, and half the time something funny will happen, and everyone will laugh, but you feel terrible for still being able to find humour on a day like that. And then just that horrible horrible moment when you put someone in the ground it's gut wrenching. And then there's all the standing around awkwardly afterwards drinking cheap wine and eating crappy sausage rolls, and everyone's slightly drunk but pretending for decorum's sake not to be... Anyway, there's always a feeling to me on days like that that normal rules just don't apply. And I wanted to put them there, because I figured that sort of wrench and that sort of day was the only time you were going to get the two of them doing what they do, and consciously go against everything they've decided, and kiss. And, oh man, poor Nicole huh? She instantly regretted it but also was instantly like yup, that proves it, Waverly is it for me. Shiiiit [sic]. You know? And I know it's awful, but I was kinda proud of that scene. I was happy how Waves goes right from “screw you and what you want I don't care anymore” straight to, “oh my god, what have I done, I'm so so sorry, what can I do to put this right”. And I have her address Nicole as “my love” which is kinda the sort of term you use with someone you've been with for years, because I think in some part of her unconscious mind at that moment it's like they *are* together, even though the very next thing she does is buy a bus ticket out of town. Anyway, I'm rambling. What was the question? Dolls! So yeah, basically I had to kill someone off. And that someone had to be a big deal to both Waverly and Nicole. And, okay, I just need to say hand on heart there's no way I'm ever touching either of them or Wynonna in any fic, ever. Spoiler alert. So that leaves the boys, and really just leaves Dolls and Doc. And I chose Dolls, because I also knew I wanted that scene at the end with Alice Michelle, and Wynonna kinda consciously welcoming Nicole into the Earp family by letting her put her to bed. And I wanted that scene and that section of the fic to be pure relief, pure fluff and happiness. And if the kid had just lost her father it would've had a whole different feel to it, a much sadder feel. And I was done with sadness by then! So yeah, poor Dolls got it I'm afraid. Blame the show for making Doc the father not Dolls!
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] Fair enough, ok. So, [laughter] talking about the choices that everybody has to make and Waverly and Nicole working so incredibly hard to not be together despite the intense magnetism that is between them and they cannot deny this connection, but Nicole is so loyal and Waverly is so good that there is really only one way that this could resolve, and therefore Nicole’s wife, Chris, is truly the hero of this piece. What made you decide to put the solution firmly in her hands?
MJ as SEDA : Ah, you know it was so funny, when I started writing it I was genuinely thinking that everybody was going to hate Chris, and be like, oh, push her under a bus Seda, just who do you think you are you kidding. So I was genuinely surprised, and a little touched actually at how much love she got. Don't know if that's because Earpers are just the best, or...dunno, maybe a lot of us have been the Chris? One or two people seemed to be actively rooting for her towards the end! I don't know.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
MJ as SEDA : Chris was the hero in that her actions were the catalyst to the happy ending we all wanted for Wayhaught. But all three women were heroic, in their own way. I mean, heroism and self sacrifice and doing the right thing regardless of the impact on yourself is such a continuous and important theme of the show, right? And I think Nicole and Waves are both trying to do that and I think that's authentic to their characters. Like, Nicole is so upstanding and honourable, once she's made this promise to Chris she's gonna do absolutely everything in her power to keep it, even when you can see towards the end she's not sure anymore if it's the right thing to do, in her head it's like the *only* thing to do. And Waves, aw man. So, okay, we know she's an absolute sweetheart, and would never want to break up any marriage. But I think there's two things bigger than that for her. First, is she really gets Nicole, in the same way that Nicole just gets her. And I think she'd know how important it was to Nicole to keep her promises and again, I think even if she thought Nicole was making the wrong call by staying with Chris, I think she'd respect that and love her for it and wouldn't want to put any pressure on Nicole to be someone she's not. And then, sad and shitty to say but I think it's true I think there's that huge undercurrent in Waverly's make up that just simply doesn't believe she deserves nice things. And I think that's a big factor in why she doesn't just fight her own side. I tell you what it was such a bloody relief to give her Nicole in the end. Poor lamb deserves the moon and the stars. And fortunately Nicole is all of that, in a great big hot lesbian cop wrapper. Anyway, I'm digressing back to Wayhaught again...as I do tend to do! Chris. Yeah. You could not saying this is right but you *could* actually construe the story as being about her journey to heroism. Like, Nicole and Waves don't really change from the beginning to the end they meet, they fall in love, they stay in love there's no actual development there. But Chris does like in the beginning, she is basically suspicious of Waverly and the whole of Purgatory. And, well I never spell it out, but in my head she works out what's going on pretty early on and then spends most of the fic fighting to hold on to Nicole. Which, totally fair enough you would do, wouldn't you?! So the fact that she first reconciles and accepts the reality of what's going on, and then finally realises the only way the woman she loves is going to be happy is with someone else what an amazing, beautiful gesture. But she wasn't there at the start. I dunno, to give Wayhaught credit, you could say it was maybe her seeing Nicole and even Waverly prepared to make that self same sacrifice for her sake that taught her the bravery to then do that for them. Does that make any sense?
DARKWICCAN : Yeah, that makes absolutely sense.
DELAYNE : Wow. [laughter] Just, wow. All of these answers. Oh my gosh.
DARKWICCAN : You chose to jump quite a bit into their future to close out the piece. I don't actually think I've ever seen elderly WayHaught featured before. Was that a nod to your theme of dawn, to finish this story at the dusk of their lives?
MJ as SEDA : Oh bless you! That would've been good, wouldn't it?
DELAYNE : [laughter]
MJ as SEDA : Can I lie through my teeth and say, mm hmm, oh yes, I definitely meant that, oh yeah. No, no, I'm afraid I didn't think of it like that. I'll take the poetry of that and absolutely chuffed to bits you thought of that because actually yeah that totally works. But no, that was not a conscious plan. No, it was this is kinda cheating, really. But the whole story was pitting sort of, quote unquote 'true love’ versus the more prosaic, companionship and habit sort of love that Nicole and Chris had. And, I dunno, in real life I'm genuinely not sure which of those would win. Love has got me in some dodgy old situations, I can tell you, and I think the Christines of this world are maybe no bad thing. But in fic world I basically wanted a scene that showed, completely unambiguously, yes Waverly and Nicole genuinely are soul mates, yes they genuinely were meant to be, and no they didn't just hop into bed and then wander off a year or two down the line for someone else. I wanted to show that that horrible decision Chris chose to make was the right one. I also, quite selfishly, after having put them through like a dozen chapters of utter shite, wanted to give them a massive happy end. And so the time jump was sort of my cheaty way of saying, okay, not just yay they got together aren't they happy, but also, look, they stay happy, and forty years later or however long it is, they're *still* happy. ‘Cause underneath it all I am basically just an enormous sap.
DARKWICCAN : [laughter] So, Seda, thank you so much for joining us today in this unusual, but I think highly effective fashion. It has been a lot of fun to hear your words coming from my wife’s mouth.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Umm, you are an excellent author and have proven this to be only the case, as well, in your answering capabilities. Uh, and as you know we do have one more question that we must ask before we bring this interview to a close. Delayne?
DELAYNE : Alright, so, you're stranded on a desert island and can have only one fanfic to read, what is it?
MJ as SEDA : You can't make me choose! You can't make me choooose [sic]!
DELAYNE : [laughter]
MJ as SEDA : But, ok, I think I have to say, for the sake of concept, and execution, for freakishly spot on characterisation, and incorporating my two favourite shows in one in an absolute genius way, I'd have to say the wonderful, the beautiful, much underrated, “The Sum Total of Living” by Doctor Ruth.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : Oh, excellent choice. That is an excellent choice. That has been selected previously as a desert island fic on the show, in fact, I believe it was last season that it was chosen and it was actually featured on an episode of season one of this show, episode twenty five, Soul Deep. So, we will provide a link to both the story, “The Sum Total of Living” by Doctor Ruth and a link to last season’s episode Soul Deep. Well, Seda, it has been a delight having you on, thank you so much for taking time out of your schedule to answer us these questions, and I hope that we continue to see more WayHaught fanfic from you in the future.
MJ as SEDA : Thank you so, so much for having me on, and for letting me and my ego blabber on it's been a blast!
MJ : And Seda, from MJ, thank you for letting me read your answers, they were delightful.
DELAYNE : [laughter]
DARKWICCAN : And thank you MJ, for reading them.
DELAYNE : Thank you, everyone, this has been great. [laughter]
DARKWICCAN [comical fake UK accent] : God bless us, everyone
DELAYNE : [laughter]
MUSIC : Don't Deal with the Devil by Kristoffer Madigan
DARKWICCAN : And that's all for this episode of the Earp Fiction Addiction. Thanks for joining us. Special thanks to Seda for providing her answers in writing for us to read on air. Thanks also to our announcer Byron Tidwell for our intro and huge thanks to MJ for reading Seda’s answers on her behalf.
Background music for the episode was: A Proper Story by Darren Korb, Coalescence by Chris Christodoulou, Hurts so Good by John Cougar Mellencamp, and the outro music is Don't Deal with the Devil by Kristoffer Madigan.
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Thanks for tuning in, and we hope you'll join us again next time for another episode of the Earp Fiction Addiction. Until then, READ MORE FIC!