GLOSSARY of TERMS

How many are you familiar with ???

Ace: Hitting - The ball directly from the into the hole or "Cup" with one swing of the club. It is usually executed on a three (3), also known as a "Hole-In-One".

Adolf Hitler - Two shots in the bunker

Air Shot – Swinging and missing completely.

Albatross - A score of three under par on a hole (in Britain); also known as a double eagle (in America).

Arthur Scargill – Great strike but a poor result.

Baffy - Sturdy wooden club, now obsolete, similar to the modern 3- or 4-. It replaced the earlier 'baffing spoon' and had a lofted face for hitting high trajectory shots from the fairway.

Balata - Sap from a tropical tree, used to make covers for balls. It's soft, elastic qualities produce a high spin rate and it is favoured by tournament players.

Botox – A putt that lips out.

Brazillian – Hits the narrow strip down the middle.

Cabbage - A term referring to hitting the ball into very deep and inescapable thick rough. Also called Jungle or Spinach.

Captain Kirk – Your shot has gone, where nobody has gone before!

Can - A term referring to the Hole or "Cup" on the Green. Having "Canned" the putt, he won the tournament.

Cleek - (Scottish) Described as an club roughly the equivalent of a modern 2-iron, although there were variations including short cleeks, long cleeks, driving cleeks and putting cleeks.

Crossbunker - Bunker lying across the line of the fairway.

Cuban - A term relating to the putting action where the ball stops just short of dropping into the "Cup". The ball "Needs One More Revolution"!

Dance floor - Golf Terms relating to "Dance Floor" is commonly referring to the "Green" which has a very smoooooth surface!

Dennis Wise – Nasty little five footer.

Dominic Cummings – A really ‘Long ’ that goes way out of bounds, but there’s NO . [2020]

Dormie - When a competitor leads by as many holes as there are left to play in matchplay, so therefore cannot lose (assuming the competition rules do not allow for extra holes to be played in the event of a tie)

Duck Hook - A shot that curves severely from right to left (for a right-handed player).

Etiquette - A golfing code of conduct

Executive course - A shorter that normal featuring mainly par three and par four holes.

Feathery - An early made by filling a leather pouch with boiled feathers. It was highly susceptible to damage and began to go out of use in the mid-1880s after the introduction of the cheaper guttie ball. Flop shot - A golf shot which is hit quite high and short, which upon contact with the Green, rolls very little and stops. The ball is "Flopped" onto the putting surface.

Fore !! - A warning shouted by a golfer when a ball may be in danger of hitting another player.

Fried Egg - is a slang term relating to the appearance of a ball buried in a Sand trap. Only the top half of the ball is visible, which makes it look like a "Sunny-Side-Up" egg located in the sand trap. Also known as "Plugged".

Gerry Adams – A provisional.

Glen Miller – Low and didn’t make it over the water.

Great Triumvirate - Name given collectively to three outstanding British professionals who were active before the First World War: James Braid, J.H. Taylor and Harry Vardon.

Guttie - Ball introduced in 1848, made of gutta percha, a rubber-like substance obtained from the latex of a species of Malaysian tree.

Hacker - is a Golf Jargon term for an "inexperienced" or mediocre golfer. Another term similarly used is a "Duffer"! When using the term "Hacker", it is generally meant as an insult, and therefore harsher and more critical than "Duffer".

Hanging Lie - A term denoting a "Lie" when the ball is located above the player's feet.

Haskell Ball - Name of the first rubber-core ball, which was invented in 1898 by Coburn Haskell.

Jigger - An iron with a narrow face and moderate loft, no longer used.

Lag - denotes the occasion when a player has a very long Putt to the Hole, and is hoping to get the ball within "Tap-In" range.

Lateral water - A water hazard which generally lies in the same direction as the hole - such as a ditch or stream alongside a fairway. Usually denoted by red stakes or lines.

Lofter - Early club with a loft equivalent to a modern 5- or 6- iron and used to strike the ball on a high trajectory. Also called a lofting iron, it superseded the wooden baffy for approach shots to the green.

Mashie - Iron club that made its appearance in the late 1880s. It had loft equivalent to the modern 5-iron. J.H. Taylor was the first acknowledged master of the mashie.

Mulligan - The opportunity to replay your last shot, without penalty. Not recognised in the and much more popular in the USA than Europe.

Nassau - A bet in which a round of 18 holes is divided into three; front nine, back nine and full 18.

Nip it - means to hit an iron shot without taking a divot. This is a "clean" hit which tends to reduce the amount of backspin.

Nipple Licker - A fairway shot to the green that finishes in such a position to “Open the Hole Up”.

PGA - see opposite >>

Pin high - A Golf Language term relating to the final resting place of the ball relative to the Flagstick. Even if your ball lands off the Green to the left or right, you can still find your ball even (front to back) with the Hole, which is known as "Pin High".

Pin-seeker - Hitting a ball straight for the flagstick is hitting a "Pin- Seeker". The ball acts like a "Heat-Sensing" guided missile.

Play club - Old term for a driving club that was in common use up to the latter part of the 19th century, roughly equivalent to the modern driver or 2-wood. Age takes it toll !! Princess Di – Shouldn’t have taken a driver.

Provisional ball - If a golfer suspects that his ball may be lost, he plays a provisional ball as a time-saving measure. The provisional ball becomes the ball in play if the original ball is indeed lost.

Ready golf - is a method of playing the game of golf. It means whichever player is "Ready" to play, goes ahead and hits disregarding the "who's away" ruling. [2020 Ruling]

Relief - When a golfer is allowed to lift the ball and then drop it in another area under the Rules of Golf.

Rub of the green - When a ball in motion is stopped or deflected by an outside agency; there is no penalty and the ball is played as it lies.

Saddam Hussein - A Slang term associated with going from bunker to bunker.

Salman Rushdie – An impossible read.

Sister-in-law – I’m up there, but I know that I shouldn’t be.

Skins - A betting game where the lowest score on a hole wins the pot; if the hole is tied, the money carries over to the next hole.

Spoon - The traditional name for a lofted wood, the equivalent of the modern 3- wood.

Texas - In Texas, where hard, dry conditions make it less risky to putt from off the green, a golfer will tend to utilize their for the stroke at hand. The Putter is then considered a "Texas Wedge".

Tiger - The teeing grounds used in professional tournaments, or the rearmost tees at any golf course.

Tony Blair – Too much spin.

Three off the tee - If a golfer's tee shot is lost or out-of-bounds, he is penalised one stroke and must play from the tee again, therefore when his ball comes to rest, he has played 'three off the tee'.

Unplayable - A player may deem a ball unplayable and, taking a penalty stroke, may drop the ball but no nearer the hole.

Vardon grip - Method of holding the handle of the club in which the little finger of the right hand overlaps the forefinger of the left, popularised, but not invented, by Harry Vardon. Also known as 'Overlapping' grip.

Water hazard - A pond, lake or stream, the margins of which are usually defined by red / yellow stakes or lines. See also 'Lateral water hazard'.

Worm burner - A poorly hit golf shot that never gets but a few feet off the ground.

Yips - An uncontrollable twitching, caused by nerves, which affects golfers when putting or chipping.

19th Hole’s afterthoughts

GOLF is an Acronym for “Go Out Looking Funny” !

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called GOLF.

Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.

Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.

Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.

The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.

There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players.

An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.

More golfing truths beneath and the following pages, picture yourself as you read them, I’m sure you have all been there and done that !!

An A – Z of Golfing Truths and Clichés

Always concede the fourth putt. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours ! A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.

Bunkers have the unnerving habit of rushing out to meet your ball.

Coincidentally the only remaining set of clubs in the professional's shop was made especially for you. Curing the faults in your swing can never be affected in just one lesson from a professional. Curly, downhill, left-to-right putts are usually followed by curly, uphill, right-to-left putts.

Delicate chip shots over bunkers always catch the top of the bank and fall back. Don’t buy a putter until you have a chance to throw it. During the first round with a brand new set of clubs, the ball has to be played from a road.

Electric trolleys always break down at the furthest point from the clubhouse. Everyone replaces their divot after a perfect approach shot.

Finding the key to a better game, means opening a lot of doors. ’ golf means always having to say you're sorry.

Golf is like sex: afterwards you feel you should have scored at little better. Golf is the only game in which you fail to win 99 per cent of the time. Greens are hollow-tined and dressed the day before a competition. Golfers who claim they don’t cheat also lie !

Handicaps are designed to keep you in your place. Hazards attract, fairways repel. Hitting an iron off the tee for safety means same direction, less distance.

If a golfer wishes to give you a blow-by-blow account of his round, ask him to start with his final putt on the 18th green. If a good course is one where you play to your or better and a bad course is one where you struggle to break 100, why are there so many bad courses ? If there is one solitary tree located on a hole, your ball will find it with unerring accuracy. If you are giving strokes in a match it's always too many: if you are receiving them it's never enough. If you are playing well in a competition, your partner will tell you that if you keep it up you must win. This remark ensures that you finish with a string of double-bogeys. If you find your ball in the woods, it is unplayable. If a professional finds his ball in woods, not only is it playable but he can hit it onto the green. If you have a hole-in-one in a competition you are in the last group and the bar is packed when you come in. If you have difficulty meeting new people, try picking up someone else's golf ball. If you're out in 39 and home in 45 you're playing wartime golf. Immediately you put on your waterproofs it stops raining. In a four-ball game, your partner is right on his game while you aren't or vice versa. In a match, younger golfers always have your measure.....so do older golfers for that matter. In most medal rounds, you start badly then fade away. It's always the next round that will find you playing your normal game.

Keeping your head down means you'll be looking at a very large divot.

Lagging a putt from three feet means you've got the yips.

No successive swings are ever the same except when you hit consecutive shots out of bounds. Nobody ever coughs on your follow through. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

Out-of-bounds fences are located a foot the wrong side of your ball.

Passing lorry-drivers always shout 'Fore' at the top of your backswing. People who say a shank is close to a perfect shot have never had four in a row.

Quote from Christy O'Connor: 'If it wasn't my living, I wouldn't play golf if you paid me.'

Regulation Golf Balls have 336 Dimples, maximum weight of 1.62 ozs and should be at least 1.68 inches in diameter.

Shots that finish close to the pin are never as close when you get there. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the start of a new group ! Spike marks always deflect your ball away from the hole.

Teeing up on the side nearest the out-of-bounds means your ball will finish in the cabbage on the other side. The captain of the Club you wish to join turns out to be someone you were at school with: and you never got on. The Club secretary is always on the course when you want him, but is in the bar when you sub is overdue. The distant puff of sand you see means that your ball has not carried the bunker and what's more, it is plugged under the lip. The fact that trees are ninety per cent air does not mean your ball avoid the remaining ten per cent of timber. The first tee shot following a lesson travels 20 yards along the ground. The first time you enter the club's knockout competition you are drawn against the club champion in the first round. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the . The love of your life either hates golf or is a better player than you. The more you play a course the more obsessed you become with its dangers. T : continued ….. The most important inches in golf are not those between the ears: they are the ones between your ball and the hole on the fourth putt. The number of practice balls recovered is always less than the number hit. The only available space in the car park is always furthest from the locker-room. The only downwind holes are par threes. The people in front of you are playing too slowly, the people behind you are playing too quickly. The reserve glove you have kept for wet weather has shrunk. The sand in the bunkers is never the right texture for your particular technique. The shorter the putt, the smaller the hole becomes. The shortest distance between the ball and the target is never a straight line. There are 2 things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Waterproof trousers cannot be removed without falling over. Whatever the rule for a particular situation, you've probably broken it. When playing to a temporary green, your ball finishes stone dead to the hole cut in the proper green. When you are looking for your ball, it is found (a) when you have trudged back and put another ball in play, (b) when the five minutes search time has elapsed, (c) when you tread on it and incur a penalty. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls ! When you can tear yourself away from the office for a rare midweek round you find yourself in the midst of a visiting society. Whenever you take your clubs on holiday, you leave your game behind. While unloading your golf bag from the car, the golf balls fall out all over the tarmac car park and roll under the other cars.

Your best drive of the day finishes in a divot hole. Your best medal round of the year is one shot too many to win the competition. Your controlled draw rapidly develops into a chronic hook: similarly, your controlled fade is, in reality, a vicious slice. Your favourite golf sweater is the one that gets shrunk in the wash. Your first hole-in-one is always achieved when playing alone. Your greatest round takes place against an important business contact whom you can't afford to humiliate. Your natural ability as a golfer is in inverse proportion to the amount of money you spend on new equipment.

I’m sure that all you fellow DAGGS out there have a truth or two to add, so let me know !!