March 30, 2017 Volume 96 Number 27 THE DUQUESNE DUKE www.duqsm.com PROUDLY SERVING OUR CAMPUS SINCE 1925 SGA DU names Dambrot as basketball coach approves special election Brandon Addeo news editor

The Student Government Asso- ciation announced a special elec- tion to fill the position of Execu- tive Vice President for Student Life after the former incoming candidate Kevin Stalker abdicat- ed the position on March 24. The SGA Senate agreed at their March 26 meeting to schedule the election for April 18 on the CampusLink website. Since Stalker ran unopposed, there is no opposition candidate who can step in to fill the position and a new election must be held, SGA Election Board Chair Tyler McCardell said at the meeting. McCardell proposed temporari- ly changing the signature require- ment to get onto the SGA election ballot from 576 signatures to 200, AP Photo see ELECTION — page 2 Former Akron Zips coach Keith Dambrot was hired to become Duquesne’s next basketball coach. He coached the Zips for 13 years. See the full story on page 7. Chick-fil-A Express among new dining additions at Duquesne Liza Zulick “made with fresh vegetables and cording to Duquesne’s press re- staff writer fruits that are hand-chopped lease, the salad, deli and Cobani Major changes are coming to throughout the day.” Hand-spun bar that are currently available Duquesne’s dining options in the fall. milkshakes are also available in in Options will be taken out and New additions include a Chick-fil- addition to homemade lemonade. replaced. An on-the-go program A Express and an improved Mexican Duquesne University is now one will be available including deli food kiosk in the Options Food Court of over 245 schools to have include sandwiches, bistro boxes, salads, and a complete remodeling of the Chick-fil-A among its dining options. sushi, yogurt parfaits and more. Student Union’s Starbucks. “I’m so excited for the new These items will also be available Construction will begin on the new Chick-fil-A,” undeclared freshman at The Incline, Campus Market dining projects after commencement Erin Fulton said. “I finally will be and Campus Market Express. in May. According to Scott Richards, able to have some delicious lem- In 2016, Duquesne was named Duquesne’s executive director of onade on campus.” one of the top 80 Best Colleges auxiliary services, student feedback, The Mexican food kiosk at the for Food in America. With these surveys and recent purchasing pat- Options Dining Hall will soon changes to dining, Duquesne Uni- terns have all led to the changes in feature made-to-order burritos, versity stays with their goal of of- dining options. bowls, tacos, salads and salsas fering students a variety of sus- Purchases from the upcoming and queso. The meal swipe of two tainable and healthy food options. dining additions will still be available tacos, chips, queso and a drink “The university explores pos- through meal swipes, flex, plus, cash Courtesy of Mike Mozart/Flickr will also still be available. sibilities with vendors in a num- or credit card — including the Chick- National fast-food line Chick-fil-A will be coming to campus at the start of the fall “I can’t wait to have fresh, made- ber of areas (not just dining) on 2017 semester. The Express version of the chain will be in the Options Food Court. fil-A Express, which will take meal to-order burritos,” said Freshman a regular basis. However, confi- swipes of $5.50 for lunch and $6.00 from its original menu. Accord- includes grilled chicken, waffle undecided business student Joseph dentiality prevents us from dis- for dinner. ing to a Duquesne press release, fries, a kale and broccolini salad, Halahurich. closing those details and vendors The new Chick-fil-A Express in addition to its signature chick- new sauces, a barbecue-bacon There are also many other who are not selected,” Duquesne will feature nearly everything en sandwich, Chick-fil-A’s menu sandwich and salads which are changes coming to Options. Ac- spokeswoman Bridget Fare said.

opinions features sports a & e Follow us on... Pedestrian April Fool’s Waiting for ‘The Onion’ Problems Issue his call comes to PGH See who is seven “DU announces Dukes linebacker Satirists pay times more likely sweeping changes Christian Kuntz takes visit to the to be hit ... to come this April” aim at NFL ... Steel City ...

@theduquesneduke PAGE 5 PAGE 6 PAGE 7 PAGE 9 2 THEDUQUESNEDUKE Report: Pittsburgh facing population decline bluff briefs Raymond Arke The mobile workforce has left,” Briem said. Journalism department asst. news editor One of the ways the population announces name change Pittsburgh might seem big, but drain can be countered is if the On March 28, the Depart- it might not stay that way for long. trend continues of college gradu- ment of Journalism and Multi- Recently released data from the ates staying in the area. The Pew media Arts hosted their annual U.S. Census Bureau showed the Charitable Trusts found that the Celebration of Excellence and Pittsburgh metro region dropped amount of graduates living in made a big announcement. The in population between the years Pittsburgh grew from 10 percent department announced that the 2010 and 2016. of the population to nearly 17 name will be changed to the De- According to an article in the percent over a 14-year span. partment of Media. Pittsburgh Business Times, the According to “The Young and Rest- “By changing our name to Census data found that over that less and the Nation’s Cities” report Media, we’re making it clear six year period, the Pittsburgh by The City Observatory, found that where students can find majors metro region lost on average 42 Pittsburgh was one of three cities that in media within the McAnulty people a week. Which was a drop had overall population loss, but had College. We’re excited to be of 0.6 percent of the total popula- nearly a 30 percent increase in the launching the new name at this tion. This was one of the biggest demographic group of 25 to 34 year year’s Celebration of Excel- losses for a major metropolitan olds with a bachelor’s degree. lence,” Mark Dillon, chair of the center in the country. Allegheny In a survey of the 2013-2014 department, said in a statement County, as a whole, also experi- Duquesne graduating class, it to the DU Times. enced a 0.2 percent decline in its was found that nearly 65 percent The event was in the Power population. of the class lives in Pennsylvania Center Dougherty Ballroom and Chris Briem, a regional econo- Duke Archive Photo and of those, 46 percent live with- featured a variety of student mist at the University of Pitts- A photo of Pittsburgh’s Downtown skyline. Census data shows the city is facing in the Pittsburgh metro region. and faculty work. Tables were burgh’s University Center for So- sustained population decline, losing an average of 42 people a week over six years. As of February 2017, there are there representing student pub- cial and Urban Research, said that over 19,000 Duquesne alumni liv- lications like Off the Bluff and part of Pittsburgh’s population young, working people left town. between 2007 and 2014, Pitts- ing in Pittsburgh out of the 56,000 The Duke, along with other or- loss is that it corresponds with the “We became one of the older burgh had “more people moving that live in Pennslyvania, according ganizations. whole country is aging more. regions in the nation ... similar to in, than moving out.” But in the to the Office of Alumni Relations. Students from local high “The nation as a whole is get- Florida,” Briem said. past two years, it’s returned to The trend of graduating college schools, such as Oakland Catho- ting older. The Baby Boomer The region has been feeling the net migration. students staying local could be lic, were also in attendance. They generation is retiring,” he said. effects of that now, Briem explained. One of the reasons for the in- important for reversing the city’s participated mini-workshops. Briem said that Pittsburgh has “Pittsburgh is really one of the creased number moving out, losses, Briem pointed out. But will A panel presentation on how been struggling with population only large metro regions where there could be because of the natural they keep choosing to live here? to get a job in the media industry since the 1970s and the closing is more deaths than births,” he said. gas boom tuning down. “That’s the question, if they’re ended the event. of the steel mills, when a lot of Briem said that for seven years, “Shale [drilling] has dropped. staying for the long run,” he said. POLICE briefs Well it’s that time of the week Senate chairs work on Russia probe for your Cousin PB to enlighten SGA VP y’all on the police briefs. PB does AP — Pledging cooperation, the top want to say that he’s happier Republican and Democrat on the than a free-range bison that y’all Senate intelligence committee said election to have been behaved well this past Wednesday they would steer clear week. I hope y’all keep it up with of politics in their panel’s probe of the weather getting warmer. Russian interference in last year’s be held Last Thursday, Duquesne Po- election. They made a point of put- lice looked into a case of vandal- ting themselves at arm’s length from ism when newspapers were re- the House investigation marked by in April moved from the Fisher Skywalk. partisanship and disputes. PB might not know much, but Richard Burr of North Carolina, one thing he does know is to re- the GOP chairman of the Senate ELECTION — from page 1 spect the First Amendment. committee, told reporters on Capi- On Sunday, a graduate assis- tol Hill he would not even answer as candidates will only have two tant was ticketed by the Pitts- questions about the House probe. weeks to fill out election packets burgh Police for public intoxica- “We’re not asking the House to play until an April 10 deadline. Can- tion. The GA is being referred to any role in our investigation. We didates for SGA election typically the Office of Student Conduct. don’t plan to play any role in their have two months to fill out elec- Some of you youngins’ misbe- investigation,” Burr said ahead of tion packets. his panel’s open hearing Thursday. AP Photo The SGA unanimously ap- haved. On Tuesday, two students Intel chairs Sen. Richard Burr, R-N.C. and Sen. Mark Warner, D-Va. speaks during Standing alongside his commit- proved the suggested changes. in St. Martins were referred to a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, March 29, 2017. Office of Student Conduct for tee’ ranking Democrat, Sen. Mark Anyone on campus can run for possession of marijuana and Warner of Virginia, Burr said: arranging meetings with the Rus- claim that former President Barack the office, and candidates who drug paraphernalia. A citation “Mark and I work hand in hand on sian ambassador and other officials. Obama tapped phones at Trump ran and lost for other SGA execu- was also issued. this. ... We’re partners to see that On the House side, Democrats Tower in New York, though Nunes tive board positions in February this is completed and that we have have called for intelligence com- and his committee’s top Democrat, will be also eligible to run in the a product at the end of the day that mittee Chairman Devin Nunes to Adam Schiff of California, say there is special election. EmailTips we can, in bipartisanship, support.” recuse himself because of his previ- no such evidence. The special election comes af- So far, the committee has re- ous ties with Donald Trump’s team Ahead of Thursday’s Senate ter the prior candidate, Kevin We want your input! quested 20 individuals to be inter- before Trump took office. The inves- hearing, Warner pledged to keep Stalker, was arrested March 11 on viewed. Five have been scheduled, tigation includes looking at contacts the investigation focused on the charges of assault, robbery and The Duke’s news section and the remaining 15 are likely to the Russians may have had with reason it was started. escaping police custody. Stalker would love to hear from you be scheduled within the next 10 Trump associates. “An outside foreign adversary had a preliminary hearing sched- about stories that you want to days. Additional witnesses could Nunes, R-Calif., also met with a effectively sought to hijack our uled by a judge to April 27. see in print. Know a talented be interviewed. secret source on the White House most critical democratic process — The new SGA executive board professor or accomplished stu- Burr declined to identify any of grounds last week to review classi- the election of the president — and served in their official capacity dent? See something on campus them, except for Trump’s son-in- fied material, which he says indicates in the process decided to favor one for the first time at the March 26 that just doesn’t make sense? law, Jared Kushner. The White that Trump associates’ communica- candidate over another,” Warner meeting. You can send your tips and story House has said that Kushner, a se- tions were captured in “incidental” said. “I can assure you, they didn’t ideas to News Editor Brandon nior adviser to Trump, has volun- surveillance of foreigners. Trump has do it because it was in the vested Raymond Arke contributed Addeo at [email protected]. teered to answer questions about used Nunes’ revelations to defend his interest of the American people.” reporting.

March 30, 2017 News THEDUQUESNEDUKE 3 Student group leaders concerned about DU Chick-fil-A Zachary Landau Reporting from the left-leaning asst. a&e editor website Think Progress revealed that the Chick-fil-A Foundation At the March 26 Student Gov- donated $1,017,610 to the Fellow- ernment Association meeting, ship of Christian Athletes in 2014. Senator at Large Niko Martini The FCA has a “Sexual Purity proposed that the SGA pass a reso- Statement” for its volunteers and lution asking the university to re- staff. It includes stipulations such consider the inclusion of Chick-fil- as, “The Bible is clear in teaching A as a dining option for students. on sexual sin including sex outside Martini is on the Lambda ex- of marriage and homosexual acts. ecutive board. He clarified that he Neither heterosexual sex outside made the proposal on his own be- of marriage nor any homosexual half and not Lambda’s. Brandon Addeo/News Editor act constitute an alternative life- “Chick-fil-A has a questionable The leaders of the DU Lambda Gay Straight Alliance expressed concerns about the addition of a Chick-fil-A on DU’s campus. style acceptable to God.” history on civil rights and human Coury is aware of Chick-fil-A’s ef- rights,” he said in a statement to student life assessment and co- ginning in the upcoming fall semes- they do not discriminate.” She also forts for inclusivity. However, she The Duke. “I think it’s imperative curricular community engagement, ter. The decision to add a Chick-fil-A said that “Chick-Fil-A informed would like Duquesne to acknowl- the university chooses to do busi- and also Lambda’s faculty advisor. was a response to student feedback, the University that they ceased edge there is still some tension. ness with organizations that co- “They will continue to have meet- according to Duquesne spokeswom- giving to Focus on the Family and “It would be a really big deal for incide with the [university’s] mis- ings in the upcoming weeks with an Bridget Fare. Exodus International several years Lambda and the whole LGBTQ sion and expectations they give Auxiliary Services and Parkhurst to “The decision was announced as ago and have eliminated corporate community on campus if someone students regarding diversity and address this matter further.” soon as the due diligence activi- donations and established a foun- could make a statement to elimi- inclusion.” Lambda President Rachel Coury ties, including working with the dation with focuses on youth and nate the fear of being marginalized The SGA Senate did not pass personally said she worries the City on permitting for the reno- education.” by having this business on cam- any resolution but agreed to con- safety provided by Gay-Straight vations, were undertaken and ap- In a statement provided by pus,” Coury said. sider an alternate resolution to Alliance might be in jeopardy. proved,” Fare said. Chick-fil-A, Manager of Exter- The response from the Duquesne vett the Chick-fil-A Express, which “I’ve tried very hard within the Chick-fil-A has faced controver- nal Communications Amanda community to the addition of the senators tabled for the April 9 SGA last semester and a half to promote sy in the past for financially back- Hannah said that the Chick-fil-A Chick-fil-A has been mostly posi- meeting to allow time to research this safe environment for the LG- ing organizations that are accused Foundation, the company’s phil- tive, according to Fare. the concerns. BTQ+ community,” Coury said. “So of supporting anti-LGBT rhetoric. anthropic arm, focuses on youth Students seem to appreciate “Lambda’s leadership met re- I fear that with the Chick-fil-A be- Coury expressed concerns over and education. having extra choices for on-cam- cently with Auxiliary Services to ing in Options that maybe people the company’s history of support- “Only organizations directly pus dining but are dubious about share their concerns regarding will feel that safe place is at risk.” ing organizations that “are specifi- aligned with that mission are Chick-fil-A’s dealings. Chick-Fil-A’s corporate position Duquesne announced March 20 cally anti-gay organizations.” funded,” Hannah said. “Programs Madison Seffrin, a senior on LGTBQIA+ issues,” said Alia the addition of the Chick-fil-A Ex- Fare said that the fast food com- with social or political agendas are see LAMBDA — page 11 Pustorino-Clevenger, director for press to the Options Food Court be- pany “has assured [Duquesne] that not included in that giving.”

UK submits letter to begin process of formally leaving the EU AP — Britain filed for divorce from We will take care of that.” about the uncertainty. the European Union on Wednes- Britons voted 52 percent to 48 “No one knows how this is go- day, with fond words and promises percent in favor of leaving the bloc ing to go,” said City worker Nicola of friendship that could not disguise in a referendum nine months ago, Gibson. “It’s a gamble, it’s a risk.” the historic nature of the schism — and they remain deeply divided May’s six-page letter to Tusk was or the years of argument and hard- over Brexit. conciliatory, stressing that Britons nosed bargaining ahead as the U.K. In the pro-Brexit heartland of want to remain “committed part- leaves the embrace of the bloc for an Dover on England’s south coast ners and allies to our friends across uncertain future as “global Britain.” — whose white cliffs face toward the continent.” Prime Minister Theresa May trig- France — some were jubilant as But there was a hint of steel in gered the two-year divorce process May pulled the trigger. May’s assertion that without a in a six-page letter to EU Council “I’m a local church minister, and I good deal, “our cooperation in the President Donald Tusk, vowing that said to my wife, ‘All I want to do before fight against crime and terrorism Britain will maintain a “deep and I die is see my country free from the would be weakened.” special partnership” with its neigh- shackles of Europe,’” said 70-year-old That could be seen by some in bors in the bloc. In response, Tusk Mike Piper, buying a copy of the Sun Europe as a threat to withdraw told Britain: “We already miss you.” tabloid with the front-page headline British security cooperation if the May’s invocation of Article 50 “Dover and Out.” U.K. does not get its way. of the EU’s key treaty sets the Former UKIP leader Nigel Far- European Parliament Brexit clock ticking on two years of ne- age, who campaigned for years to coordinator Guy Verhofstadt re- gotiations until Britain becomes take Brexit from a fringe cause to sponded diplomatically: “I cannot, the first major nation to leave the a reality, said Britain had passed as a gentleman, even imagine that union — as Big Ben bongs mid- “the point of no return.” a lady as Mrs. May is using black- night on March 29, 2019. AP Photo “I can still, to be honest with mail, is thinking of blackmail.” The U.K.’s departure could not The British flag waves in front of the Elizabeth Tower at Houses of Parliament con- you, scarcely believe today has Tusk said he will respond by Fri- taining the bell known as “Big Ben,” as Parliment begins the “Brexit” procedure. come at a worse time for the EU, come,” he said. day with draft negotiating guide- which has grown from six founding But many young Britons — who lines for the remaining 27 member members six decades ago to a vast, to Tusk in Brussels by Britain’s am- their part, the other 27 members of have grown up in the EU and vot- states to consider. They’ll meet April largely borderless span of 28 nations bassador to the EU, Tim Barrow. the bloc will need to stick together ed overwhelmingly for Britain to 29 to finalize their platform. Talks and half a billion people. Nationalist In the letter, May said the two and stand firm as they ride out the remain a member — worried about between the EU’s chief negotiator, and populist parties are on the march sides should “engage with one an- biggest threat in the union’s history. how much they would lose. French diplomat Michel Barnier, across the continent in revolt against other constructively and respectful- Brexit has been hailed by populists “I’m really anxious about it. It was and his British counterpart, Brexit the bloc’s mission of “ever-closer ly, in a spirit of sincere cooperation.” across Europe — including French a bad idea,” said Elaine Morrison, Secretary David Davis, are likely to union.” And in Washington, Presi- But for all the warmth, the next far-right leader Marine Le Pen — an 18-year-old who was traveling to start in the second half of May. dent Donald Trump has derided the two years will be a tough test of the who hope the U.K. is only the first in Barcelona with friends. “I like travel- As in many divorces, the first EU, NATO and other pillars of West- notion that divorcees can remain a series of departures. EU leaders are ing to other countries And it will be a area of conflict is likely to be ern order built up since World War II. good friends. determined to stop that happening. trouble now. The pound is weaker so money. The EU wants Britain to “This is an historic moment May is under pressure from her “The European Union is a his- it will cost more to buy the euros, and pay a bill of as much as 50 billion from which there can be no turn- Conservative Party and Britain’s torically unique success story,” the costs of travel will be more expen- euros ($63 billion) to cover pen- ing back,” May told lawmakers in largely Euroskeptic press not to German Chancellor Angela Merkel sive. And there will be red tape.” sion liabilities for EU staff and the House of Commons, moments concede too much in exchange for said in Berlin. “It remains one People in London’s financial other commitments the U.K. has after her letter was hand-delivered a good trade deal with the EU. For even after Britain’s withdrawal. district, the City, were anxious agreed to. 4 Opinions THEDUQUESNEDUKE staff 113 College Hall editorial 600 Forbes Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15282 Congress passes bill

editorial staff to sell Internet information editor-in-chief Kaye Burnet news editor Brandon Addeo asst. news editor Raymond Arke Last Tuesday, Congress voted opinions editor Rebekah Devorak to overturn several protections asst. opinions editor Shivani Gosai and regulations the Federal features editor Seth Culp-Ressler Communications Commission asst. features editor Ollie Gratzinger created during the Obama ad- a&e editor Sean Ray ministration. Amongst them is a asst. a&e editor Zach Landau requirement that internet service sports editor Andrew Holman providers get permission from asst. sports editor Adam Lindner users before collecting and sell- photo editor Leah Devorak ing their data. asst. photo editor Bryanna McDermott The move has sparked outrage layout editor Hallie Lauer on both sides of the political aisle, administrative staff and rightfully so. This violation adviser Bobby Kerlik of internet privacy represents ad manager Madison Pastrick Congress choosing businesses email us: [email protected] that want to find an easier way to make a profit over the well-being of the American people. As college students in 2017, Success is not the the internet is an ever-present feature of our lives. Phones, key to happiness. laptops, entertainment devices and even our watches are now Happiness is the connected to the internet. With key to success. If how pervasive it has become, a violation of our internet privacy such as this might as well be the you love what you Cartoon by Shelby Wasil equivalent of letting someone le- are doing, you will gally enter your home and watch if i do say so myself... what you are doing. be successful. What is worse, this law could Sexual assault larger than illegal immigrants set a precedent for further at- S tacks on our internet access. Last Albert Schweitzer It is 2017, and rape is still not be- White House press secretary not only prise from unknown Hispanic ille- year, the FCC came out in sup- ing taken seriously, even by people completely undermines this girl’s ap- gal immigrants, as much as Spicer port of net neutrality, a concept You just read Now tweet in the highest positions of power palling, distressing experience, but would like you to believe. In fact, 57 where internet service providers our thoughts. us yours. within the United States. he also labels all illegal immigrants percent of rapes come from those cannot charge websites more for On March 21, White House Press as monstrous rapists who can’t help who classify themselves as white. faster speeds. Congress, if it fol- @TheDuquesneDuke Secretary Sean Spicer used a rape but attack the first person they see as Further, the American Immigra- lows along this path, could easily case at a Maryland high school to soon as they cross the border. tion Council states that between overturn this protection as well. show why undocumented illegal Rape and sexual assault are ob- 1990 and 2013, the foreign-born U.S. To put this into context, if immigrants are a major problem in viously topics that should not be population grew from 7.9 percent to Verizon was to charge websites the United States. A 14-year-old taken lightly. According to the 13.1 percent. Illegal immigrants went more for faster connections, and editorial girl was allegedly raped on Rape Abuse & Incest National from 3.5 million to 11.2 million. In Netflix decided not to pay that March 16 at Rockville High Network, every 98 seconds, the same time, FBI data showed that charge, then all Verizon’s us- School by two students. an American is sexually the violent crime rate, which includes ers would experience slow load policy One of these students, assaulted. One in every rape, declined 48 percent. times when using Netflix. Anti- Henry E. Sanchez-Millan, six American women has This is not the first time that the The Duquesne Duke is the student- consumerism at its finest. written, student-managed newspaper is a native of Guatemala, been the victim of an at- problem of rape has been morphed These draconian rules are just of Duquesne University. It is published and he was living in the tempted or completed into something other than what it the latest in a long string of anti- every Thursday during the academic U.S. illegally. rape in her lifetime. is. Take a look at any rape or sexual internet bills Congress has tried year except during semester breaks and According to The Sexual assault is assault on a college campus. The holidays, and prior to final exams. The to pass. The Stop Online Piracy Staff Editorial is based upon the opin- New York Times, also not an is- issue is rarely the rape or assault Act, the Online Protection and En- ions of the editors of The Duke and does Spicer said, “I sue that only itself; instead, the focus is on how forcement of Digital Trade Act and not necessarily reflect the views of the think part of the affects women; much the victim drank, what the many more have all shown Con- students, faculty, administration, stu- dent government or the University pub- reason the presi- one out of ev- victim wore or how the reputation gress’s clear bias against its voters dent has made il- ery 10 rape vic- of the attacker will be affected by lications board. Op-ed columns do not Rebekah Devorak when it comes to the web. reflect the opinions of The Duke, but legal immigration and tims is male. his or her actions. The Duke urges all students opinions editor rather are the sole opinions of the col- crackdown such a big Clearly, rape and sex- And now, once again, rather to do anything they can to op- umnists themselves. deal is because of trag- ual assault are problems than condemning these men be- pose this measure. The bill has Letters policy edies like this. Immigration pays its on a much larger scale than what cause they did a horrific thing to a not yet passed, and there is still Letters to the editor must be typed, toll on our people if it’s done – if it’s Spicer makes them out to be. With poor girl, Spicer takes the chance to time. Congress may have already double-spaced and include the writ- not done legally. And this is another this kind of statement about what point them out only because they er’s name, school/department and betrayed the American people, phone number for verification. Letters example, and it’s why the president happened at Rockville High School, are illegal immigrants and not be- but President Trump still has a should be no longer than 300 words is so passionate about this.” Spicer essentially says that rapes are cause they did something that lacks chance to use his veto. and should be delivered to The Duke Spicer went on to call the entire only coming from people who are human decency and respect in ev- For a more subversive form office at 113 College Hall or e-mailed scene “horrendous and horrible not native to this country. That is an ery sense of the words. to [email protected] by 5 p.m. of protest, a crowdfunding cam- Tuesday. The editors reserve the right and disgusting.” entirely false thing to say or assume. This is unacceptable behavior paign has been launched on go- to edit any and all submitted copies. People who rape, sexually as- These attacks are not coming exclu- from the White House press sec- fundme.com to purchase the All letters must be verified before being sault or otherwise take advantage sively, or even in majority, from il- retary and the Trump administra- search history of all represen- published. of another person are, indeed, hor- legal immigrants; the Rape Abuse & tion. These words will negatively tatives who support the mea- Corrections/clarifications rendous and horrible and disgust- Incest National Network states that affect rape or sexual assault vic- sure, as well as President Don- Readers should report any story or ing. But that sentiment is about the three of four rapes or sexual assaults tims and immigrants – illegal or ald Trump’s if he does not veto. photo error to The Duke. All legitimate errors will be corrected in print the fol- only thing that Spicer got right in occur from someone who is known otherwise – for a long time. While the needed goal of $500 lowing edition. this scenario. to the victim. Only seven percent of million dollars may seem impos- By making this kind of ridiculous rapes or sexual assaults come from Rebekah Devorak is a senior journal- sible, our voices need to be heard Contact statement about needing to stop ille- someone unknown to the victim. ism and advertising major and can be by any means possible. Any step, email [email protected] gal immigration to curtail rapes, the These are not happening by sur- reached at [email protected]. even a small one, will help. THEDUQUESNEDUKE 5 Black pedestrians more likely to be hit crossing Alison Caracciolo one entered my personal space, I scenarios vehicles passed by more staff columnist was mentally preparing myself to white pedestrians than black in a fend for my purse. high income neighborhood. What does it actually mean to I was profiling. To make a bold assumption that love someone? We are unable to turn off our im- vehicles are less likely to brake for A.J. Ali, a filmmaker of the doc- plicit bias. For instance, even un- black pedestrians is asking to stir umentary “Walking While Black: biased judges have a subconscious up unnecessary controversy. L.O.V.E is the Answer,” creates mentality that is already making In a perfect world, I’d like to as- a meaning for each letter in the notions they are unaware of about sume that we would inevitably stop word “love.” “L” stands for learn- a situation or the person. for any pedestrian trying to cross ing about your community and its We shouldn’t even be conducting the street. However, it’s not a perfect people, “O” means to open your studies about the likelihood of some- world, and some state laws do not heart, “V” is for volunteering your- one not stopping for a black person make it mandatory to stop complete- self and “E” stands for empower. crossing the crosswalk, but unfortu- ly for pedestrians at the crosswalk. “Walking While Black” is a phe- nately, it is the reality in which we live. In Nevada, if there is a crosswalk nomenon where racial profiling has The reality being an unequal society, where there is no traffic light, cars are been taking our society by storm. where gender and skin color affect the obliged to stop if it is necessary but do Many of us may not even be con- way people act toward one another. not have to brake to a sudden stop. It scious that we are racially profiling According to the Washington should be common knowledge for someone due to our implicit bias. Post, Researches at the University drivers to take caution to all pedestri- AP Photo A new study has offered more of Nevada Las Vegas even found ans on or near the roadway. According to a new study, black pedestrians are seven times more likely to be hit by cars when they are crossing the street as compared to white pedestrians. evidence that drivers are biased more of an imbalance when the According to the Center of Disease against braking for black pedestri- pedestrian is trying to cross the Control and Prevention, over 4,700 The state of nature, to my under- become present. ans trying to cross the street. street depending on a high- or low- people were killed in traffic crashes standing, is a pointless theory of a We make strides towards a more The Ohio State University In- income neighborhood. The aver- in 2013. The amount of black or La- hypothetical state, even pre-morally, acceptable society, and while we stitute for the Study of Race and age number of cars to pass a black tino people killed was significantly that contains products of inequality have made substantial success in Ethnicity defines implicit bias “as pedestrian in a crosswalk is seven higher than that of a white person. that just grew in complexity as civili- this aspect, the modern world will attitudes or stereotypes that hinder times greater compared to a white According to Jean-Jacques Rous- zation advanced. never be completely understanding our understanding, actions and de- pedestrian crossing the street in a seau, a philosopher, the one main Humans are always trying to fig- of diversity among one another. cisions in an unconscious manner.” wealthy neighborhood. problem of the present civilization is ure out new and more efficient ways It’s unsettling that Walking In a way, society has embedded However, outlying factors need the constant advancement of society, to go about daily life, and will ulti- While Black is making headlines as in our mind that a black man is less to be considered before making any which contributes to the increasing mately continue to enhance inequal- a phenomenon. educated, more dangerous and more type of conclusion. The study on sev- inequality among the people. Hu- ity among society. To simply put it, just be a courte- of a threat to society than the average eral occasions had no actual support mans are more unequal and unhappy Essentially, what this study is ul- ous cautious driver and brake for white male. It is like saying all Euro- for the claim that people are less than ever before due to our current timately trying to showcase is the all pedestrians trying to cross the peans are eager to pick your pocket. likely to brake for a black person. society, where our culture has en- many ways that our modern society roadway, not just some. I’m currently studying abroad The Washington Post points out slaved us. will forever be faced with inequality, in Italy. As I walked the streets of that during three different scenar- In Rousseau’s book, “Discourse on and prejudice towards the different Alison Caracciolo is a sopho- Rome for the first night, I noticed ios, motorists didn’t have a par- the Origin of Inequality,” he brings ethnicities. We can’t control our im- more public relations major and my grip on my purse to be tighter ticular reaction to pedestrians skin up the idea of a state of nature, plicit bias, and the more our society can be reached at her email, al- than normal, and whenever some- color. In addition, in one of those where society was more “equal.” advances the more inequality will [email protected]. Students excited about Chick-fil-A, Mexican food be available at The Incline, Campus Market nary teams plan to launch all of these chang- and Campus Market Express. es for Options this fall. The new healthy dining options are wel- Nutritious and sustainable dining options comed by students. are beneficial, but some students are worried “I would like more options, especially if that healthier food means expensive prices. you’re on a healthier diet. All there is right “Healthier is always more expensive. So I now is salad really,” Christina Branch, a think it’s great that they’re putting that in, sophomore public relations and advertising but are our meal plans going to change? You major, said. know, am I going to afford the healthier op- The newest addition that seems to be get- tions?” said Gether. ting the most excitement on campus is the Parkhurst has not released any informa- Chick-fil-A Express. Chick-fil-A has been the tion on prices changing at Options. highest-ranking fast food restaurant in the Including the renovations at Options, the country for customer satisfaction, and stu- Starbucks in the Student Union will also dents are very excited for its arrival to Op- be getting revamped. That specific Star- tions. The menu will include their signature bucks location is constantly busy; the line chicken sandwich, waffle fries, a barbecue- is almost always out the door and there’s bacon sandwich, salads and more. Hand- hardly any seats open. To keep up with the spun milkshakes will also be available as demand, the coffee shop will be getting a well as homemade lemonade. new, expanded pick-up area for beverages, “When I found out they were putting in a the number of appliances will be doubled Chick-fil-A, I was literally screaming. I hope and technology will be upgraded so that they don’t up-price it or anything, but really, customers can use the Starbucks App and I would eat at Chick-fil-A every day. That is gift cards. Duquesne is also expecting more amazing,” Sarah Gethers, a sophomore cor- charging outlets and seating to better serve Jordan Miller/Staff Photographer porate communication major, said. students that want to study inside. New dining changes are coming to campus, including a Chick-Fil-A Express and Mexican food options. The healthy replacements at Options are Quicker, healthier food for students experience more convenient and sustainable definitely something to look forward to, es- can’t hurt, so these incoming dining en- Shivani Gosai with their new “On-The-Go” program. pecially because they will be accommodat- hancements are looking to benefit stu- asst. opinions editor Options Food Court, currently one of the ing to students that are crunched for time. dents. The Chick-fil-A Express is espe- most popular dining choices for students liv- As well as menu changes, putting in a Chick- cially expecting to bring in more excited After years of student feedback, Duquesne ing on campus, is updating its menus. There fil-A will will be a nice break from regular students to Options. Everyone knows col- is getting a ton of new dining renovations, will be a new Mexican made-to-order bar that dining hall food for everyone. Personally, lege students are constantly busy, so it including a Chick-Fil-A Express in the Op- will offer burritos, tacos, bowls and salads. For I’m very excited for a Chik-fil-A Express be- helps to cut down time with these dining tions Food Court on the fifth floor of the Stu- a quicker, healthier option, the current salad cause their fries and milkshakes are really changes when we as students are always dent Union. and deli bar will be replaced with an artisan- good, but at the same time, I can’t support hungry, tired and in a rush. The incoming renovations will defi- inspired deli bar. This will feature freshly the company because of the previous claims nitely be accommodating to busy students. made sandwiches, bistro boxes, salads, sushi, of ties to anti-LGBT organizations. Shivani Gosai is a junior journalism major and Parkhurst is focusing on making the dining yogurt parfaits and more. These items will also Parkhurst Dining's marketing and culi- can be reached at [email protected]. Opinions March 30, 2017 6 FEATURES

Seth Culp-Ressler/Features Editor University announces sweeping changes, effective April 1

South Side Steps to be Replaced With Escalator tan priest told Duke reporters Friday that the University Democratic presidential candidate and first female presidential would slash its current tuition rates of almost $40,000 per nominee from a major party, said she was excited to start cam- In a plan that’s being lauded by many students as “brave,” year down to 1878 prices. paigning once she determines where the university is located. “long overdue” and “please don’t use this comment on the “We talk about Duquesne’s proud history of serving poor A Duquesne Police spokesperson said that in preparation record,” Duquesne University recently unveiled a plan to re- students a lot, and it was getting kinda hard to stomach,” for Clinton’s arrival, special precautions will take place. place the South Side steps with a fully functional escalator. French admitted to The Duke. “I mean, you basically have “Look, we’ll be carefully monitoring campus for anything that “We’re hoping the change will lessen the number of stu- to be a Saudi prince to afford tuition today, or sell a kidney.” looks remotely Russian,” an anonymous DuPo officer said. dents being admitted to Health Services due to heat exhaus- In lieu of coughing up $40K, 2017-2018 students will be Clinton is expected to easily win the election with polls tion and dehydration,” said a university spokeswoman, half- asked to pay 34¢ per month or provide “a nice, shiny red ap- forecasting a nearly 70 percent chance. way up the steps, already looking worse for wear. ple” for their professor every week. “Please Lord, I want to win something so bad. This one has When asked if architects had considered the effects of in- Students are incredibly excited about the announcement. to be easy, right?” Clinton was heard mumbling as she exited clement weather on the machinery needed to run an escala- Sophomore Jake Whatshisface told The Duke, “This news her announcement stage with “Fight Song” blaring. tor, the spokeswoman responded with approximately twenty couldn’t have come at a better time. I was really worried I would seconds of long, unbroken silence. It’s unclear if shortness be saddled with ruinous student loans for at least the next twenty of breath, a common side effect of scaling the stairs, was the years, and I already sold one kidney. You can’t sell both, right?” reason for the response. Students will be forced to find an alternate route to campus New MBB Coach Revealed to be Just while the escalator is under construction, which is slated to Three Toddlers Stacked on Top of Each Other take “a decade, at the very least.” In a startling revelation, The Duke recently learned that incoming Duquesne men’s basketball coach Keith Dambrot is really just three incredibly coordinated toddlers stacked on top of each other. “I mean, it kinda makes sense,” said Duquesne alum and basketball fan Ima Disappointed. “Who else but a toddler would want to saddle their reputation to a smoldering gar- bage fire like the Duquesne men’s basketball program? It would either take incredibly poor judgement or a lot of mon- ey, and with recent tuition decreases being announced, we know it can’t be the money.” Duquesne athletics director Dave Harper was surprisingly accepting of Dambrot’s revelation, saying, “Well, at this point, the toddlers have my support. We can’t do much worse than we did this year. Maybe they’ll mix things up in a good way.” Duke Archive Photo |Rapelling Photo via Wikimedia Commons Edit By Seth Culp-Ressler/Features Editor Duke Archive Photo |Escalator Photo via Wikimedia Commons Citing Possible Future Expansion, Edit By Seth Culp-Ressler/Features Editor Duquesne to Purchase I-376 President Gormley Announces Plans to Steal DuPo Purchases Fully Functional Armored Tank In conjunction with other recent land purchases, Duquesne U.S. Constitution for Book Research University just went public with a deal to purchase the entire- Citing a need to effectively combat an increasingly liber- ty of U.S. Interstate 376. Planning a sequel to his 2016 book “The Presidents and tine student population, a spokesperson announced that “Our goal is to future-proof Duquesne’s always-expanding the Constitution: A Living History,” Duquesne President Duquesne University Police will be purchasing a fully opera- campus,” a spokesman said as he gazed over the vast concrete Ken Gormley announced his intentions to steal the U.S. tional M1 Abrams battle tank from U.S. military surplus. ribbon of road. “We’ve already bought many buildings inland, Constitution for research purposes. Sitting atop the soon-to-be-purchased vehicle, the spokes- so we decided moving Bluffside was the next logical step.” “I’ve watched ‘National Treasure’ enough times that I person simply commented, “WOOOOOOOOO!! LOOK AT A press release explained that buying the entire length of know I can do this,” said Gormley as he rappelled down THIS BABY GO!!” the highway will allow Duquesne to maximize construction the front of Towers. The tank will patrol mainly on the outskirts of campus, ac- of increasingly taller Living Learning Centers. With the theft scheduled for April 1, the 13th President cording to a press release, which will help students by dis- It’s unclear how the move will affect Pittsburgh traffic, but of Duquesne will undergo intense training, including the couraging other forms of traffic on those routes. the spokesman was adamant in the assertion that gridlock in dodging of lasers, knocking-out of guards and advanced “Let’s see anyone illegally park with this thing in their rear- and around the city “really isn’t that bad, especially when you stealth tactics. view mirror,” the spokesperson said while driving the 60-ton drive a tank.” “Some may question my right to steal the most impor- war-machine in circles around the Student Union roundabout. tant document in American history,” acknowledged Gorm- Purchase of the tank will be followed with the acquisition Hillary Clinton announces candidacy for open SGA seat ley as he backflipped over a spinning saw blade. “But as of several other pieces of military-grade hardware, including Duquesne’s president, it is my responsibility to serve cam- SWAT-style uniforms for every officer, a surveillance drone In a shocking turn of events, former Secretary of State and pus, and only by the writing of this book can I bring honor and stun grenades. 2016 Democratic nominee for president Hillary Clinton, said to our school.” DuPo plans to begin surprise combat drills all over campus that she will be running in the special election for SGA Vice “Plus, I hear there is a treasure map on the back,” he once the equipment comes in. President of Student Life. added, humming the “Mission Impossible” theme while “I believe that I can bring my decades of experience in the applying lemon juice to a piece of paper in order to reveal Duquesne to Celebrate Anniversary by highest levels of American government to Duquesne’s cam- invisible ink. Charging 1878 Tuition Rates pus,” Clinton said in a triumphant announcement speech. Duquesne Archivist Thomas White said that having the “There’s no one who understands how young folks live bet- foundation upon which the most powerful country in the world To celebrate the anniversary of the university’s found- ter than me. Students can follow me on Facesnap and Tweet- has been built in Gumberg’s collection would be “kind of neat.” ing by Spiritan priests on Oct. 1, 1878 with the purpose gram,” she added, while taking a selfie. of teaching the poor immigrants of Pittsburgh, a Spiri- Clinton, who is a former First Lady, U.S. Senator, 2008 Happy April Fools Day, Duquesne! SPORTS 7 Dambrot hire means tourney drought is coming to a close Andrew Holman are hesitant to buy into the hype, don’t be. his hometown. However, he has continu- about either. But give Dambrot 3-4 years to This guy is the real deal. ally pledged his support to Dambrot and he make this program his own and the strides sports editor Akron, under Dambrot’s direction, is one could serve as a recruiting tool for his high his teams will have made will be very evident. The Duquesne men’s basketball coach- of just four schools to have won at least 21 school coach. It’s tough to say why on earth Dambrot de- ing search served as a metaphor for the games in each of the last 12 seasons. The oth- But just as Dambrot has immediately cided to take such a risky job. Maybe he took last 40 years of the program — a complete ers were just Duke, Gonzaga and Kansas — no shown a commitment to Duquesne, Harper it because his dad played collegiately for the trainwreck. big deal. and the athletics department have shown a Dukes, maybe it was because of the stability The names of King Rice (Monmouth), Dambrot is a big-time hire. He is a three- similar commitment to him. He was report- of the 7-year contract, maybe it was due to the Dane Fife (Michigan State) and James Whit- time MAC Coach of the Year honoree who edly given a 7-year, roughly $7 million con- $1 million per year that he will earn, or maybe ford (Ball State) were all rumored to be in has 413 wins to his name. He has the passion tract, according to ESPN. it was a combination of all of those things. advanced talks with Duquesne to take over and the commitment to turn this program This shows that Harper trusts Dambrot to No matter what the reasoning was though, the program. All three of those discussions around. be the right guy for the job and that the uni- it was a remarkable win for the Harper & fell through. The night he was hired to Duquesne, he hit versity will give him ample time to turn this Gormley era and it will be the turning point To make matters worse, the Dukes’ top two the recruiting trail right away and offered a program around. of the Duquesne men’s basketball program. players, Mike Lewis II and Isiaha Mike, both number of scholarships to recruits the very Look, it won’t happen next year. The 2018- Dambrot will end the drought. Just be sit asked permission to contact other schools in same night. His freshman point guard at Ak- 19 season probably won’t be anything to brag back, be patient and enjoy the ride. regard to transferring. Sophomore forward ron, Tavian Dunn-Martin, also verbally com- Nakye Sanders also asked for his release. Ad- mitted to play for the Red & Blue on Monday ditionally, the day of Ferry’s firing, top recruit when he was hired. Jamari Wheeler announced via Twitter that He has already compiled an impressive re- he is re-opening his commitment. cruiting history, and in one night he proved to In a few weeks time, the Duquesne bas- the Duquesne faithful that he is committed to ketball program went from bad, to very doing the same on the Bluff. bad, to rock bottom. Nobody wanted to fill He had four double-digit scorers in 2016-17 the coaching vacancy, recruits were look- at Akron with three of those players coming ing elsewhere and current players set their from Ohio and the other coming from Texas. minds on transferring. In fact, 12 out of 16 players on the Zips ros- And then splash — athletics director, ter hailed from one of these two states mean- Dave Harper, and university president, Ken ing Dambrot and his staff have some serious Gormley, announce Akron’s Keith Dambrot recruiting pull in these two states, which are as the 17th head coach in the history of the packed full of high-level prospects. Duquesne men’s basketball program. His toughest recruiting challenge will be There literally could not have been a happi- hanging onto Lewis and Mike. If he can keep er ending to a rather messy coaching search. those two guys then the rebuilding process Duquesne receives a coach who in 13 seasons becomes significantly easier. at Akron, reached the NCAA tournament The pair played very well together on the three times, boasted 12 20-win seasons and court this season and foreshadowed a bright advanced his team to the semifinal round of future for the Dukes. Dambrot has to get the Mid-American Conference (MAC) tour- them to buy into finishing what they started nament for 12 consecutive years. under his new leadership. It might sound Just let this sink in: Dambrot has 12 20-win funny, but this is where LeBron James comes seasons dating back to 2005. Duquesne has into the picture. three 20-win seasons in the programs past 75 It is doubtful that James will make the Courtesy of the University of Akron Athletics Department years of existence. same commitment to Duquesne that he did Newly named Duquesne head men’s basketball coach Keith Dambrot looks on as his Zips play a home Duquesne got a winner, and for those who to the University of Akron, since Akron is game at James A. Rhodes Arena. Dambrot finished his Akron career with a 305-139 record in 13 years. Christian Kuntz takes aim at making leap from NEC to NFL David Borne 18 different NFL teams showed up on a freezing cold staff writer Wednesday morning to get a good look at Kuntz and 12 of his teammates. Every spring, college athletes across the country make a “There was a handful of scouts there which was great to final push to impress scouts in order to hopefully achieve see,” Kuntz said. “We did talk to a couple of them after, their lifelong goal of playing for an NFL team. and I know the weather wasn’t the greatest at Pro Day so a Obviously, it’s not easy to land an NFL roster spot. When couple of them mentioned they want to come back to work you’re coming out of a small FCS school that receives little us out or have us out to their facilities. It was great getting publicity like Duquesne, it’s even more difficult. out there in front of them and showcasing our talents.” Linebacker Christian Kuntz is up for the challenge. Some of Kuntz’s former teammates dealt with this ex- “It is what it is, you just have to make the most of every act situation this time last year. Wideout Chris King and opportunity,” Kuntz said. “There’s not really much we can guard Dan Buchholz both went undrafted but were invited do about the publicity aspect of it, so I don’t even let that to join NFL teams in training camp. Kuntz has had the op- bother me at all. Once you get there, nobody cares where portunity to talk with both of them about what to expect in you came from.” the next month or two. Kuntz was a three year starter during his time at “It’s cool to get some advice and insight on what to ex- Duquesne. After being sidelined for the entire 2014 sea- pect for the next couple weeks,” Kuntz said. “I know the son due to a knee injury he was granted a medical redshirt draft isn’t for four more weeks or so, so it’s kind of a bor- and returned as a redshirt junior the following season. ing period and you get antsy. They’ve been really good Kuntz received AP All-American Second Team honors in with giving advice. It was nice to have them since they’ve 2015 and 2016, and was named NEC Defensive Player of been in that situation before and can be helpful to me.” the Year in both of those seasons. He finished his time at In a deep defensive class, Kuntz believes certain aspects Duquesne with 30.5 sacks. of his game help him stand out from the rest of the pack. Preparation for the draft began immediately after the “I definitely think it’s my short burst speed and abil- season for Kuntz. He went up to Minnesota to work out ity to make impactful plays in the back field,” Kuntz said. with former Pittsburgh Steelers safety, now defensive back “Just letting my instincts take over and being a smart foot- coach, Tyrone Carter. Kuntz then spent about two and a ball player is what I think separates me from others.” half months with strength and speed coach Jim Kielbaso. Kuntz will continue to prepare and try to impress scouts Kielbaso has worked with a long list of NFL players and before the NFL Draft takes place in Philadelphia from Courtesy of Duquesne Athletics prospects, including Seahawks defensive end Cliff Avril. April 27-29. He’ll be sure to stay close to his phone around Christian Kuntz strips the Sacred Heart quarterback on Senior Day The Pittsburgh native returned to the Bluff for the time, waiting to get the phone call he has worked to- at Arthur J. Rooney Field on Nov. 12, 2016. The Dukes won 31-10. Duquesne’s Pro Day on March 22. Scouts from at least ward his entire life. 8 THEDUQUESNEDUKE Pair of NEC honorees cap off successful bowling season and dropped two spots putting themselves placed ahead of 119 bowlers. ference (NEC) All-Conference selections Andrew Holman in a tough hole. The team worked its way “The emotions that I felt when I quali- were announced, both Hackbart and Pow- sports editor back into fourth temporarily, but was fied for nationals were indescribable,” ers found their names etched into the All- One year down for Duquesne women’s outperformed down the stretch by No. 10 Hackbart said. “To make nationals as a Rookie team list. They combined for four bowling and a lot to be proud of. Notre Dame College. The Falcons claimed freshman was incredible, and I still cannot NEC Rookie of the Week honors through- The tandem of freshman Kelsey Hack- the final spot in nationals and ended the believe it happened. Going against those out the 2016-17 season. The Dukes tied for bart and junior Cassidy Powers were chance for the Dukes to wear the glass slip- girls, I really felt proud of myself that I the most bowlers on the rookie team with named to the NEC All-Rookie team. Hack- per in their inaugural campaign. beat the top girls in women’s bowling.” Saint Francis University. bart qualified for the 2017 Intercollegiate But the season isn’t over for Hackbart, Powers and freshman Megan Cook also “It is a very big honor to be named to the Singles Championships, which will take individually, as she will have the chance finished in the top 40 at No. 34 and No. 40, NEC All-Rookie team, and it just goes to place on April 18-22 in Baton Rouge, Loui- to compete against the top bowlers in the respectively. Freshmen Lauren Mayberry show hard work pays off,” Powers said. siana. And as a team, the Dukes placed country three weeks from now. Hackbart (No. 63), Elizabeth Petkac (No. 71) and Janae Powers, Hackbart and the rest of the fifth in sectionals — just 80 pins away from qualified after a stellar second-place finish Haller (No. 98) all finished within the top 100. Dukes will all be back next season along a bid to nationals for the entire squad. at the Allentown Sectionals, in which she On March 27 when the Northeast Con- with the recruiting class that Fetterhoff “Our performance in Allentown gave us has coming to the Bluff. a huge boost of confidence as well as belief “This program is going to continue to that we can be a great program ... and we grow,” Powers said. “I believe Duquesne will get there,” head coach Jody Fetterhoff will become one of the top teams in both said in a release. “Not many people outside the conference and a recognized team of this team believed we would be in po- around the nation.” sition to go to nationals with four games Not only have the Dukes impressed with to go in our first season. This team fought their performance over the course of their and will only get better in those situations. inaugural season, they have bonded out- With everyone returning and the recruit- side of the alley as well. ing class coming in next year, this pro- “My relationship with my coach and gram’s future is very bright.” teammates is a very good relationship,” The Red & Blue finished behind a quar- Hackbart said. “We are really a team in tet of nationally ranked opponents in bowling and outside of bowling also. We the Allentown Sectional, where they just work together on the lanes when we need missed a bid to the Intercollegiate Team to the most, and our coach is right there Championships. with us, always supporting us.” They finished the first day of sectional The Duquesne bowling community will competition in fourth place, so they were Courtesy of the NEC Conference be supporting Hackbart as she focuses in on nationals before they look ahead to an on pace to grab a bid. However, the Dukes Freshman Kelsey Hackbart and junior Cassidy Powers bowled their way to NEC All-Rookie honors in struggled in the third block of the event Duquesne bowling’s inaugural season. The duo captured four NEC Rookie of the Week honors as well. even better year in their second go-around. Unexpected Final Four hints at unpredictable ending Adam Lindner all reached the Elite Eight. UNC, meanwhile, is a clear-cut aberration. cent from three-point range over the past asst. sports editor Though the tourney’s biggest surprise, The Tar Heels will be making their 20th ap- four games. Accompanied by dominant for- South Carolina, is far from the conventional pearance, with their most recent appearance wards Dillon Brooks and Jordan Bell, Dors- As we inch toward the last weekend of the idea of a Cinderella team. The No. 7 seeded being last year. North Carolina will be look- ey’s Oregon squad couldn’t have caught fire college basketball season, we can look back Gamecocks won the East Regional, defeat- ing to avenge last year’s heartbreak, as they at a better time. and marvel at what’s been a fabulously in- ing the likes of Marquette, Duke, Baylor and fell to Villanova in a wild National title game. Both semifinal matchups are intriguing, triguing year thus far. While it’s bittersweet Florida, and will now play Gonzaga on April “There’s an advantage (for North Caroli- and the championship on Monday, April 3 that college basketball is soon to be wrap- 1 at 6:09 p.m. in Phoenix for a spot in the na) with the whole process,” Gonzaga coach figures to be all the more riveting. ping up once again, the Final Four is what National Championship game. Mark Few said Monday per release. “The Will perennially-doubted Gonzaga be college hoops enthusiasts everywhere have South Carolina hardly fits the mold of the general distraction meter is going to go out able to quiet the pessimists? Can Tyler been waiting for since the beginning of the traditional Cinderella team because of their the roof. Obviously, the Carolina kids have Dorsey continue to dominate? Will the season. With the tournament set to conclude large-conference affiliation, as well as their dealt with that and managed it great.” championship be a west-coast matchup, or in Phoenix this Monday, definitely try and considerable success throughout the sea- While Carolina will be looking to right last instead a battle of the Carolinas? This all re- make an effort to savor this limited amount son. Recently, bracket-busters like Butler’s season’s wrongs with a title, besting semifinal mains to be seen. of college basketball that we have left to en- 2010 and 2011 teams, VCU’s 2011 squad and opponent Oregon first stands as a tall order. Surely, however, prophesying what may joy this season. Florida Gulf Coast’s 2013 team all qualified Ducks guard Tyler Dorsey, averaging happen next is simply arbitrary. Purely take Throughout the course of the NCAA tour- as bona fide Cinderellas, as none of these 24.5 points per game during the NCAA advantage of this opportunity to witness col- nament, we’ve seen some top seeds fall ear- schools were heralded coming into the tour- tournament, is shooting an asinine 65 per- lege basketball on its grandest stage. ly, some underdogs prevail and some mod- ney nor were they affiliated with a top con- erately surprising upsets, but for the most ference. This year’s Gamecocks squad hardly part, the chalk reigned supreme this year. feel like outcasts. Among the tournament’s few surprises However, coming into the tournament, were two-seeds Duke and Louisville both South Carolina had lost five of their last sev- falling remarkably early in the Round of en games, including a first-round exit from 32, and the 11th-seeded Xavier Musketeers the SEC Tournament. Without any momen- knocking off 3rd-seeded Florida State and tum heading into their first-round matchup title-contender Arizona en route to making with 10th-seeded Marquette, South Carolina an unexpected run to the Elite Eight. was very much an afterthought. One of the competition’s biggest sur- Nevertheless, Frank Martin’s Gamecocks prises may not have been an actual upset, hit their stride at the exact right time, and but the ACC’s futility and the SEC’s suc- are now in the Final Four for the first time in cess. The ACC – largely regarded as the school history with newfound national rel- most prestigious basketball conference in evance to boot. all of the land – faltered when it mattered Joining them in the Final Four will be the most, with only North Carolina mak- Gonzaga, Oregon and North Carolina. While ing it past the first weekend. Duke, Louis- this field’s teams are certainly creditable, ville, Florida State, Notre Dame and four what makes this field so unprecedented is others all failed to even see the Sweet 16. the lack of Final Four experience that these Meanwhile, the SEC is largely disregarded teams have. South Carolina will be making nationally with the exception of Kentucky, their first appearance, as will Gonzaga. Ore- AP Photo but of the SEC’s five teams that garnered a gon will be making their second appearance, The South Carolina Gamecocks men’s basketball team celebrates their win over the No. 4, University of bid, Florida, South Carolina and Kentucky with their first being in 1939. Florida Gators in the Regional Final to advance to the Final Four of the 2017 NCAA tournament.

March 30, 2017 sports ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 9 WEEK’s The Onion brings news satire to Pittsburgh EVENTS Raymond Arke describing the fictional Westmin- asst. news editor ster Dog Fighting Show, received DUQ Reads Author Event 1,300 emails, many complaining March 30, 4:30 p.m. n a world where real news about the humor. A continuation of the 2017 DUQ Even though the Onion is well seems surreal, the Onion, one Reads program. Julie Otsuka, of the best known satirical known, “a depressing amount” of I author of “When the Emperor news sites, would like to let you people still get fooled, Spina said. know it is still on the cutting edge One of the Onion’s more famous was Divine,” is coming to the Stu- of funny. On March 24, two writers complaints came from a 2013 ar- dent Union Ballroom to discuss from (self-proclaimed) “America’s ticle they posted. Titled “When her book and its cultural impact. finest news source” gave a talk at You’re Feeling Low, Just Remem- the Byham Theater describing how ber I’ll Be Dead in About 15 or 20 WordPlay the Onion works. Years,” the fictional opinion piece March 31, 8 p.m. The two writers were Seena Vali, was attributed to Donald Trump. Writers, comedians and your Courtesy of The Onion For their efforts, Spina and Vali sports editor and senior writer, and Average Joe come together to Matt Spina, staff writer. To start The Onion was established in 1988 at the University of Wisconsin-Madison recount how the Onion received a off their presentation, they took and has since grown into a nationally-recognized satirical site. letter from Trump’s legal counsel share their stories while a DJ the audience through the mytho- demanding the article come down “spins a real-time soundtrack logical origin story of the newspa- into a humorous, but real look into into articles. saying it “goes beyond defama- using anything from Brahms to per, starting in 1765 (it didn’t) and how the Onion, as a newsroom, Once an idea makes it past the tion.” It is still online. Beyoncé.” The event takes place highlighting a variety of headlines operates. Every one of their sto- headline stage, the entire writing Other famous examples of the at the Bricolage Production Co’s that lampooned various historical ries starts with a headline. Each process is extremely collabora- Onion being taken seriously was in space with tickets costing $25. events, like the sinking of the Ti- day, the writers sit around a table tive, the two writers explained. The 2012, when a North Korean news More information can be found at tanic and the moon landing. and pitch various headline ideas at story is assigned to one writer, but source ran the Onion article that http://www.bricolagepgh.org/ Vali and Spina also made sure each other. Everyone collaborates then goes through two reviewed proclaimed Kim Jong Un the sexi- to include that the Onion boasts and then pick the best ones. drafts before it heads off to the ed- est man alive. Both writers noted strong coverage of the Pittsburgh The headlines are the most im- itor-in-chief. they still go re-read it to cheer area with their imaginary “8.3 mil- portant part of an article, Spina said. Since so many contribute to themselves up. upcoming lion reporters” in the city. They “[Headlines] are the first thing any given article, the Onion has The presentation ended with presented a few Pittsburgh sports- people see. It’s where everything never attributed its content to a question-and-answer session, releases centric headlines the Onion had is,” he said. any one writer. where the two writers shared more run, such as “Steelers Wear Patch Of all the ideas that get floated, “It’s a no-ego environment,” insider tips. “Ghost in the Shell” to Honor Victims of Rothlisberg- only a few actually make it onto Spina said. When asked about how the On- March 31 er,” which left the audience howl- the site. Vali said that around 1500 The presentation also addressed ion comes up with the fake names Drawing on the manga of the ing in laughter. headlines are pitched a week and reader feedback, both the real and same name, “Ghost in the Shell” The presentation then moved only about two percent get made confused. Some articles, like one see ONION — page 11 follows The Major (Scarlett Johansson), a cyborg, as she uncovers a conspiracy of human augmentation and artificial Duquesne student writing ‘existentialist dramedy’ intelligence. The source material spearheaded what would be- Zachary Landau I spun that off to just wonder what come the “cyber-punk” genre. asst. a&e editor happens if after you died you get a list of all the quantifiable infor- mation that can be extracted from For Junior Economics student your life. And to up the ante a little “The Zookeeper’s Wife” Evan W. Saunders, theater has al- bit, what if you could look at all of March 31 ways been a huge part of his life. the quantifiable information from Based on a real story, “The Now, in the middle of writing his everyone’s life? Zookeeper’s Wife” takes place first full-length play, “All in the I know a lot of people I talked to in 1939 Poland and follows the Numbers,” Saunders is hoping when I asked this question, they attempts of Antonina Żabińska to polish his latest work with a would say, I would see how much (Jessica Chastain) and her seated reading on Saturday April coffee I drank, how many steps I husband Dr. Jan Żabiński (Johan 1, 3 p.m. in the Genesius Theatre. walked and one or two other unique Heldenbergh) to help the victims Saunders shared his experience things to them. As I am an econom- writing “All in the Numbers,” in- ics major, and as someone used to of the Warsaw Ghetto. cluding his inspiration and consid- looking at large bits of data, I know erations throughout the process. there’s usually information you can Question: What’s it like to shift pull out of it that isn’t there at face from a one-act to a full-length value. So I thought I just don’t want play? to sit down with it, I want to get be- Saunders: “It’s really a gradual hind a computer and see if I can Micro process for almost all playwrights. find more meaning in this. That’s Courtesy of Evan Saunders No one really sits down and writes where the idea came from. Saunders’ previous work includes “Threads.” Part of the Pittsburgh New Works Festival, “Threads” was produced at the Off The Wall Theater in Carnegie. review a full-length play or novel to start. “Threads” was more of a love There’s an old saying, ‘How do you story. What type of tone or genre eat an elephant? One bite at a time.’ do you think “All in the Numbers” that; that was the most fortuitous I was into Samuel Beckett’s “Wait- “S-Town” So eventually you get used to take is aiming for? experience I’ve had of someone ing for Godot” back when I was in bites of the elephant until you real- S: I’m calling it an existentialist taking this big idea and dropping it high school. I still love it; it’s one of “From the minds behind ‘This ize you ate a whole elephant.” dramedy in that it asks big ques- in my lap to play with. Other times, my favorites. Something like that, American Life’ and the ‘Serial’ So what was your inspiration tions, but at the same, it is still a it’s just a stray thought that you where two people alone on a stage podcasts, ‘S-Town’ features a for “All in the Numbers?” play about people. The relation- chase a little bit until you realize wondering about the meaning of true story of an eccentric antique S: My roommate one day… just ships among the three main char- you stumbled on something bigger. their sad, little lives, definitely in clock restorer in backwater Ala- spouted out this thought off the acters are really a driving force be- It’s really elusive. its own way influenced how I am top of his head, “Man, I’ve always hind the story. But other writers, other art, any writing (“All in the Numbers”) even bama. It starts with a murder ac- really wondered at the end of my What type of writers do you look other thing really, can really in- though it is really different. custation, and ends someplace life, I really hope I get just a list of to when writing plays? And what spire you. They say the best way to But why plays? Is there some- completely unexpected. Give this all the times I… washed my hands, else inspires you? Is it just happen- become a better writer is to write thing about the medium that you great new podcast a listen.” or how many times I went to the stances? and also to read. I think everything find particularly attractive? -Brandon Addeo bathroom, how much time I spent S: It ranges all over the place. I’ve read has snowballed its way doing that, how much food I ate. So Sometimes it’s weird ideas like into whatever I’m working on. So see NUMBERS — page 12 10 THEDUQUESNEDUKE After 13 years, ‘Samurai Jack’ makes successful return

Sean Ray take on a beauty of its own in some moments. a&e editor In a very refreshing viewpoint in this mod- ern world, the show avoids moralizing killing as would be expected. While Jack does regret having to take a human life for the first time, it ore than a decade after it originally does not utterly bring him down, reasoning that ended, the critically acclaimed ani- his opponent’s choices in life were as much to Mmated series “Samurai Jack” has blame for their demise as his choice to kill them. made a triumphant return to the world of televi- It’s an alternative take in this world where no- sion. A classic from Cartoon Network’s lineup in killing superheroes seem to control 90 percent the early 2000s, the series is now airing a fifth of entertainment. and supposedly final season on Adult Swim, The only real negative that can be found is CN’s late-night, more mature programming the rather staggering number of animation er- block, with the first three episodes already aired. rors which seem to crop up in each episode. Ad- The plot, which was reiterated at the start of mittedly these were only noticed on second or every episode for the first four seasons, follows third viewings, but they’re quite bad. The seven the eponymous Samurai Jack, a warrior from Daughters of Aku become eight in one scene, an ancient world who was flung into the future Courtesy of Williams Street weapons vanish and reappear at will and even by the demon Aku. Trapped in a science-fiction- The show’s fifth season features a much darker tone than previous ones. The titular character, character positions alter without a sign they based society where his nemesis rules over all, Jack, battles with suicidal thoughts, and humans are shown dying for the first time. were supposed to. Jack seeks a portal back in time to undo Aku’s and many more sources into one concise pack- 2006, can never be truly replaced, Greg Baldwin But despite all that, it takes nothing away evil and return the world to what it was. age. Each episode was radically different from does a decent take on the character. from the experience. Honestly, this season has Season 5 takes place a further 50 years into the one before it, jumping between comedy to A major boost comes in the art department, astounded me with its quality. After thinking the future. Due to his time displacement, Jack seriousness at the drop of a hat. with many scenes coming across as jaw-drop- that the first episode was essentially perfect, I has ceased to age. However, what seems like Season 5 continues this tradition, but on a pingly gorgeous. Negative space is used incred- was shocked when the next episode utterly blew a boon becomes more of a curse, as Aku has micro-scale. For example, the second episode of ibly effectively, as well as cinematic camera an- it away, only for the third episode to do the very successfully destroyed all of the portals back the season had me laughing my sides off at the gles in dramatic moments. Film aficionados will same thing. in time, while Jack has lost his sword, the only beginning, incredibly depressed in the middle even find a famous scene from “The Good, The Whether you’re a fan of the original or not, weapon capable of harming his foe. Without and sitting on the edge of my seat for the end. Bad, and The Ugly” lovingly referenced. “Samurai Jack” Season 5 is a must-see for ev- purpose and mentally broken, Jack wanders Such a roller-coaster of tone might have failed The jump to a more mature programming eryone. It’s funny, it’s touching and it is easily aimlessly, pursued by the Daughters of Aku, a in other shows, but series creator Genndy Tarta- block invariably means that some of the re- the best thing on TV right now. The bar has been cult seeking the samurai’s death, and a mysteri- kovsky makes it all flow seamlessly. straints the original series had have been re- set for quality animated programming, and it is ous spectre. Speaking of which, the fact that much of the moved. Blood shows up, and yes, people do die. going to be a tough act to follow. “Samurai Jack” was always a gathering of original cast and creative teams returned a But what is most surprising is how restrained “Samurai Jack” Season 5 airs every Saturday the best pieces of fiction. Its episodes combined major plus. While Mako Iwamatsu, the origi- and natural it feels. Deaths are not over-the-top, at 11 p.m. Be sure to catch up before the next mythology, folk-lore, manga, comic books, films nal voice of Aku who tragically passed away in nor is gore shown, and the blood itself seems to episode airs. ‘Power Rangers’ fails to morph into anything worthwhile

Josiah Martin staff writer

f tasked to choose the quintessential ‘90s children’s tele- vision show, many would undoubtedly name “Mighty I Morphin’ Power Rangers.” It has the over-the-top ac- tion and styling of series such as “G.I. Joe” and “Transform- ers,” but added the corny high school drama of “Saved By The Bell.” Updating “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers” for a modern audience means either reviving the clichés that made it memorable in the first place or adjusting it to fit the themes and tropes of modern cinema and television. “Power Rang- ers,” the new film based on this series, does the latter and, unfortunately, may have taken the concept a bit too far. The first few minutes of the film set up the atmosphere fairly effectively and demonstrate the excessive application of the aforementioned modern motifs instantly. There’s a star athlete whose dad simply doesn’t understand him, there’s a school prank gone wrong, there’s a needlessly gritty single-shot action scene and there’s a gray and dreary high school with bullies and mean cheerleaders. One of the biggest problems with “Power Rangers” makes itself clear: Instead of embracing the quirkiness of its source material, it tries too hard to be a 2017 high school drama film. The cast does their best to combat this, but fail. Jason Lee Scott (Dacre Montgomery) serves as the main protagonist of the film, the leader of the team, the Red Rang- er. Jason serves as the stereotypical star athlete, but Mont- gomery gives him enough humanity to keep him an interest- ing character. The same applies to Naomi Scott’s Kimberly Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly Hart, Pink Ranger, who stands out as the most likable of the “Power Rangers” is based on the original season of the show, “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers,” which premiered in 1993. The se- group’s many edgy-outcast roles. Yellow Ranger Trini Kwan ries utilizes footage from a Japanese show, known as “Super Sentai,” for its fight sequences. The film, however, has its own footage. and Black Ranger Zach Taylor, portrayed by Becky G and Ludi Lin respectively, both come across as a bit overemotion- Cranston. Billy is notably the first Power Ranger with autism The high school setting and motifs raise another interest- al and dark, mostly due to the fact that these two characters spectrum disorder, which, alongside the death of his father, ing question about “Power Rangers.” Namely, who is this in particular have almost no time to explain their personal serves as the internal explanation for his loyalty to the group. film intended for? The target demographic of the current motives and little information is given to their backstories Cyler nails this role, and every scene that features him is ei- television series of “Power Rangers” is well under high school other than “They are sad.” ther hilarious or heart-wrenching. These likable traits make age. Meanwhile, the demographic that watched the specific The only character in the film who is given time to develop his participation in the groups’ final victory in a battle all the and explain himself is RJ Cyler’s beautiful portrayal of Billy more satisfying. see RANGERS — page 12

March 30, 2017 arts & entertainment THE LAST WORD 11 Lambda opposes ‘Onion’ For Rent For Rent South Side Apartments, new Chick-fil-A Available April 1, May 1 For Rent May And layers 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. Newly August 2017 1, 2, 3 and LAMBDA— from page 3 “I don’t believe that should be remodeled 2 bedroom 4-bedroom Apartment something they should be involved apartments available and Houses 3 Blocks computer science student, said in,” he said. “But that is something revealed April 1st, South Side from Duquesne that she thinks the new addition is that warrants discussion and if Flats, furnished. One “a good thing.” ONION— from page 9 University. They it’s something that people are not bedroom furnished, have Wooden “I think it gives us another op- comfortable with, that should be in the stories, the writers said tion, and it’s more food choices that each person had their own South Side Flats, avail- Floors, Dishwasher, discussed as well.” able May 1st. Three that make us comparable to oth- Chick-fil-A released a state- method. The Editor-in-Chief, for New Kitchens, New instance, goes to the IMDB page bedroom townhouse er colleges that have a lot more ment July 2012 that “going for- Bathrooms, Whole chain restaurants on their cam- for “Top Gun” and mixes-and- with parking, furnished, ward” they would “leave the policy House Air conditioning, pus, which is something I think we matches names from the produc- available May 1st. Call debate over same-sex marriage lack,” Seffrin said. tion team list. Washer and Dryers, off to the government and political to schedule viewing When asked about Chick-fil-A’s For anyone that’d be interest- Locust Street. arena.” Tax filings for 2012 also 412-343-3900, rent- association with non-profits that ed in writing satire, Spina and [email protected]. Call 412-287-5712 expose homophobic rhetoric, Sef- showed that the company’s other Vali said that any type of person frin said that she does not “neces- charitable arm, the WinShape can do it. sarily” agree with “some of those Foundation, has ceased funding “There’s no one path that brings aspects,” but does think they are to all but one of the groups — the you to the Onion ... Our editor-in- “a relatively stand-up company.” aforementioned FCA — accused of chief used to work at the Federal She said she is bound to have anti-LGBT practices. Reserve in Boston” said Vali, who @theduquesneduke some differences of opinion with SGA President Olivia Erickson graduated with a math degree. Spi- the company’s policies. expressed her and SGA’s intention na has a degree in history. “It’s almost inevitable that a place to look into Martini’s and Coury’s The talk was part of the Pitts- that closes its doors on a Sunday apprehensions. burgh Humanities Festival which ran from March 24-26. will also not support some of the “We at SGA take this concern things that I support,” Seffrin said. [about the installation of a Chick- Similar sentiments were ex- fil-A on campus] very seriously,” pressed by Alex Slater, a freshman Erickson said. “We are working on GET UPDATES INSTA-NTLY economics student. gathering students’ opinions and Follow us on Instagram “I enjoy Chick-fil-A food, and getting all the facts we can so we Advertise I eat there [in my hometown],” can make the best decision.” @TheDuquesneDuke Slater said. “We serve as the voice of the stu- with us Slater had heard of the contro- dents,” Erickson said. “SGA has a versy surrounding the chain and positive relationship with admin- disapproves of their connections istration in order to function as at a to anti-LGBT groups. liaisons for the students.” discounted rate!

Contact us at [email protected] 12 THEDUQUESNEDUKE ‘Power Rangers’ Playwright looking misses original vibes Follow for audience help THE DUKE NUMBERS— from page 9 S: I’ve just written it. What’s RANGERS— from page 10 be the climax of the film, it is de- cidedly uninteresting, and the film happening this Saturday is a seated seasons of the show that serve as receives very little in the way of de- on the S: I’ve tried to be a prose writer. reading. I have some actors, and the basis for this film are much too nouement. This in itself is the main I’m okay at it, but I guess I just they’re reading the script aloud for old for a high school film. The lan- issue with this film: Much of the think more situationally. So dia- an audience. It’s like a test view- web: logue comes very naturally to me. I guage and more realistic violence film builds-up for events that never ing for movies, which let’s me hear would overwhelm young viewers, occur or events that disappoint. A like the kineticism of plays, it feels what works, what doesn’t. There’s a but the overall feel of the film is too “Power Rangers” film should be ex- much more alive and so much more feedback session afterwards, so the juvenile for many older audiences. citing from beginning to end. visceral to me. I grew up watching audience can say, Hey, I liked this, Facebook plays and acting in them, so it’s a Luckily for more mature viewers, “Power Rangers” fails to meet or, Man, this sucked, or, Where are medium I guess I developed some the cast somehow makes the trite that standard, and thus could only The Duquesne you going with this? And I may not instincts for. I understand it with- dialog sound mature and appropri- be enjoyed by hardcore fans of the answer any of those, but I will take Duke out knowing I understand it. ate. series who come to see their favor- them into account and figure out You also do a lot of work with The final battle of the film brings ite characters. If they filmmakers how to revise it. So you could say the Red Masquers. Is there a way the only real action scene, aside had tried harder to fight the urge to for this reading I’m self-producing. from an early training montage. make a cliche picture about teenag- that your experience with them helped this play in particular? Going back to what you said The fight comes across as too short ers, “Power Rangers” had the po- Instagram earlier about working with con- and too messy. For what should tential to be a fantastic film. S: Definitely. A lot of times — @TheDuquesneDuke and you don’t want to have to think straints, is there any time where this way, but you do — is that put- you start from the constraints first ting on shows cost money. And a lot and work from there? Or do you of times, what theater companies try to meet in the middle between don’t have is money. So it helps if inspiration and reality? DUQSM.COM/ you can find a way to be creative S: I would say always try to meet while thinking economically. I al- in the middle with a slight lean to- WDSR/ ways joke that I’ll know I’ve made ward the creative side. I read about Twitter it when I can say I want ten igloos someone once who talked about LISTEN LIVE and an elephant seal on-stage and having the writer on one shoul- @TheDuquesneDuke they’ll get it for me. But the idea of der and the producer on the other how can I tell a story with just three shoulder, and the writer saying, “I 2 4 / 7 people, a desk, a laptop, and a ficus want to do this!” and the produc- plant, is having that experience of er saying, “But can you really do knowing what it takes to put on a that?” So you never want to start show and knowing what you can with, I can’t do this, I can’t do this. and can’t do. It helps you be more You always let the idea come first, creative to accept limitations and let it figure out what it needs to finding a way to work around them. do, and then have the insight and Is there a producer for this play the maturity to step back and say, or have you only just written it? okay, how can we do that? Like taking photos? Email Photo Editor Leah Devorak at [email protected] to become a photographer for The Duke.

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