Love As Self-Gift, Definition of Love Life Night Outline

LOVE LOVE AS SELF-GIFT, DEFINITION OF LOVE LIFE NIGHT OUTLINE

CATECHISM SCRIPTURE Trinity; we are called to the # 218-221 Matthew 22:37-39 two great commandments # 1603-1605 John 13:34-35 — to love God and to love # 1822-1829 John 15:10-13 our neighbor. # 2360-2369 Romans 5:5-8 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 • Love is fully expressed as YOUCAT 1 John 3:10-18 self-gift and sacrifce. This kind of love is called “agape” # 2 1 John 4:7-21 love and is modeled by # 76 Christ. # 309 CHURCH # 402-403 DOCUMENTS • Sex is an expression of Deus Caritas Est 3-8 (Pope conjugal love in marriage. KEY TERMS Benedict XVI, encyclical) For sex to be a full Agape expression of love it must Utilitarianism KEY CONCEPTS be free, total, fruitful, and Conjugal Love • Every person is called to faithful. refect the love of God in the

GOAL features a camera crew "hunting" for love. The The goal of this Life Night is to help teenagers teaching for the Life Night distinguishes between understand the defnition of true love, especially as several kinds of love, and why we need to be it is expressed within the Sacrament of Marriage. striving toward a love that gives ourselves to This night will encourage teens not to settle for a others in sacrifce. It will break open why sex lesser form of afection and will challenge them can only take place within marriage between a to live the two great commandments of love. man and a woman as an expression of conjugal love. The Break and Send for this Life Night allow ABOUT THIS NIGHT teenagers to experience Christ’s love through the Eucharist and veneration of the cross. This Life Night begins with a challenge for the teenagers to defne love by listening to popular

OUTLINE music. This Gather activity asks teens to listen to PARENTAL NOTICE music and discuss how each song portrays love, This week at Life Night we talked about love and

and if they think this is an accurate description the many diferent ways that we understand of love. This leads into a humorous video that love and even use the word “love.” The Life Night LOVE

40 LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE began with a discussion about the theme of love • Do you trust in the love Christ has for you? Why in various modern songs. We then discussed the or why not? competing ideas we have about love and the real defnition of love that we can fnd in Christ. We • Who has been an example of self-sacrifcial love also discussed how this love is expressed within for you? Why? the Sacrament of Marriage through sex, and how sex outside of marriage is a counterfeit of true love. The teens had an opportunity to journal ENVIRONMENT The environment for this Life Night is all about about their relationship with Christ before we love. Find as many cliché decorations as you closed the night in a time of Eucharistic Adoration. can for this. If possible, fnd some old valentines This night may have been very powerful or day decorations to put up around the room, or, challenging for your teenage son or daughter – it purchase wedding decorations to put up around is important to take some time to discuss it with the room. Using an online translator, translate the them and process what they may be feeling. It is word “love” into several languages and write it on also a great time to afrm your love for him or her butcher paper to hang up around the room. Have as a parent. Here are a few questions to begin the Core Members passing out valentines day candy discussion: (if it is in season) to teens as they walk into the room. Have a clean romantic comedy playing on • How do you think most teenagers defne love? a screen as teens enter the main meeting space. Do you think this is accurate?

will lead to a large group discussion that fows GATHER into the teaching for the Life Night. The youth minister should break the teens into WELCOME AND INTRODUCTION small groups (if you are using the same small (5 min) groups for this semester curriculum, have the teens get into their assigned small groups). The youth minister should gather all of the Explain that you need to fnd a solid defnition of teens together into the main meeting space and love and need the small groups to help you out. welcome any teens that are attending Life Night Explain that “love” is used in so many ways, that it for the frst time. Lead an opening prayer to begin is difcult to know exactly what it means. In order the Life Night. to properly defne “love” the teens are going to listen to several popular songs that talk about LOVE SONGS “love” and write down three things about each (20 min) song:

The opening activity will require some preparation • How does this song defne love? and research before the Life Night. The youth minister and Core Team will need to research fve • Is this kind of love total (it gives all of a person), to seven popular “love” songs that teens will be freely given and received, faithful, and fruitful? familiar with. Each one of these songs needs to be cued up to play a 90 second clip for the teens • Do you think this song accurately describes to listen to. Teens will be listening to each clip and what love should be? Why or why not? answering a series of questions about the song and how it defnes “love.” Try to have a mix of Play the song clips for the teens and allow each OUTLINE

group time to answer the questions for each songs that completely miss the mark, and some that come closer to how Christ modeled love. This song. After all of the clips have been played, the youth minister should lead a brief discussion with LOVE

LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE 41 the teens about how each song defned love and if it was accurate or not. This will transition into the video for the Life Night. SEND EUCHARISTIC EXPOSITION WITH VENERATION OF THE CROSS PROCLAIM (25 min) VIDEO: LOVE HUNT The teens should move into the sanctuary space of the church for a time of Eucharistic Adoration (5 min) with Veneration of the Cross. Ask your parish priest or deacon to be present to lead Eucharistic This video features a flm crew in search of real life Adoration and give Benediction well in advance examples of love. Though they are unable to fnd of the Life Night, as well as your music minister to what they are looking for, they accidentally catch lead worship. what they had been missing the entire day. It can be found on Life Teen Video Support: Theology of The youth minister should explain to the teens the Body. that Christ gave us two great signs of his love — the Eucharist and the Cross — and that both are "LOVE" TEACHING tied together. Explain to the teens that on Good (10 min) Friday we venerate the Cross as a recognition of the love Christ has for us, and that during The youth minister or a Core Member should Eucharistic Adoration the teens will have an give this teaching about the true defnition of opportunity to come forward and venerate the love, and how that defnition needs to form all of cross by simply touching it or kissing it, while they our relationships. This teaching can be found on say a prayer ofering up areas of their life where pages 44 to 49. they need to allow Christ to love them more.

Have the cross set up front near the monstrance and allow the teens time to pray with periods of silence, inviting teens to come forward to venerate BREAK the Cross when they feel ready. Close the time of prayer with the Divine Praises, Benediction, and a JOURNALING Hail Mary and Ave Maria. (10 min)

Pass out pens and copies of the journaling ADAPTING THIS LIFE NIGHT handout on page 50 to the teenagers. Allow them • If you have a projector and screen, in addition to have a time of journaling refecting on the to song clips fnd one or two movie clips for the questions presented to them. These questions Gather as well, and have teens process them in will help teenagers refect on Christ’s love for the same way they process all of the songs. them during the Send. • Allow for a longer time of Eucharistic Adoration by having teens journal while they are praying before the Blessed Sacrament.

• Create your own video for the Proclaim by interviewing teenagers, parishioners, and parents, asking them the question, “What is love?” Go to a school or church event and ask

OUTLINE them to defne love – then edit it down to show to your group.

LOVE

42 LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE GOING DEEPER • At the end of the Life Night challenge teens to pay attention to and write down the various ways they hear the word “love” used around them and the actions of people who are “in love” (whether it is in person or on television). Challenge them to see if these expressions measure up to the real defnition of love given in the Life Night. Begin the next Life Night by discussing what the teens observed.

• During the Send challenge the teens to write down the name of somebody that they don’t like or with whom they struggle. Have them place that person's name at the foot of the cross and pray for the grace to love him or her as a brother/sister in Christ. Challenge them to fnd ways to live out that love in the coming week.

Notes

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______OUTLINE

LOVE

LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE 43 LOVE TEACHING

KEY TERM • Agape – Unconditional, total • Conjugal Love – Sex as an DEFINITIONS self-gift of one to another. expression of love within This is the highest form of the Sacrament of Marriage • Utilitarianism – Reducing a love. when it is free, total, fruitful, relationship with a person and faithful. to merely their utilities or usefulness.

THE “L” WORD • Love is a word that is used very frequently. We hear it all the time in television and the media. We use it in the same sentence to Deus Caritas Est 2 refer to our mother and our favorite food. We may even hear it commonly used by our classmates in the hallway at school.

• There is a lot of confusion about the meaning of love — partly because the world “love” has many diferent meanings.

• The Greeks understood that there were diferent kinds of love and varying levels of depth. Because of this, they had four diferent defnitions for love.

EROS — PASSIONATE LOVE • The frst form of love is called eros — it's an earthly love, which is TOB 47:1-6 related to appetite or connected to our passions.

• This type of love relates to the senses; it is an emotional response to something we see (hear, taste, smell, feel) that has value. It is a love that just seems to happen on it’s own. The ancient Greeks Deus Caritas Est 4 considered it to be a “divine madness” or intoxication. You could call it the feeling of being “madly in love.”

• Unfortunately, it’s becoming more and more common for people

G to believe that eros is the only or best form of love. They depend solely on passions, feelings, and emotions in order to experience TOB 39:5 HIN CCC 2351 C love. This kind of selfshness is what turns the beautiful feeling of being “in love” into lust, and leaves both people feeling unfulflled. TEA

LOVE

44 LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE • When eros becomes self-centered, lust quickly follows. Lust is the disordered desire for sexual pleasure that seeks to satisfy selfsh desires.

• Think of a one-night stand. Two people use each other for enjoyment and then disregard each other when the enjoyment ends. Then they go searching for someone else. Lust becomes a way of life.

• This is referred to as utilitarianism. It is reducing a person to an Key Term object to be used, rather than a person to be loved.

• According to Bl. John Paul II, the opposite of love is not hate, it is utilitarianism. It is using another person as an object, and then disregarding them.

PHILIA — BROTHERLY LOVE • The second Greek term for love is called philia, which refers to brotherly love or friendship.

• This is most common among friends or siblings. It is freely chosen and is usually built around common values.

• For example, you may have friends that you play golf with. The common value that you share is you like golf.

• If, one day, your friends stop playing golf, your friendship will either (1) end or (2) fnd a new common value, or (3) develop into something deeper than just shared interests.

• For this reason, philia can be fckle or fade. Think of friendships that have ended because a person moves away, or because you have a falling out; this is the reality of this kind of love.

• When philia becomes the highest form of love we shoot for, or when it is tainted by our selfshness, we fnd ourselves unfulflled, lonely, and missing out on the greatest form of love God has planned for us.

• While most of us have philia relationships, there is still one higher form of love that we all long for and seek.

AGAPE LOVE • The highest form of love that is referred to in the Bible is the Greek term agape. This is a supernatural love that is unconditional and

self-sacrifcing. G HIN

• Agape love is a total self-gift of one to another. It is selfess in C Key Term nature and seeks the good of the other. St. Paul describes this love

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in his frst letter to the Corinthians. He bases his understanding of TEA

this form of love on Christ. LOVE

LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE 45 • We see the ultimate example of agape love in the sacrifce of Jesus on the cross. Jesus sacrifces His entire body and life for the purposes of freeing humanity from their sins. He ofers a total Romans 5:8 self-gift to us in complete sacrifce. This is the true measure of love CCC 1825 that pours forth from God and the desire for this love has been implanted on our hearts.

THE IMAGE OF LOVE • Agape love is the type of love that every person seeks and is CCC 1604 longing for. We long to give ourselves totally and completely to CCC 1823 another and our lives do not make sense until we do.

• This is because we are made in the image of God. Genesis 1:27 CCC 2331 • God is a communion of self-giving love. As St. John says, “God is 1 John 4:16 love…”

• In the Holy Trinity, God the Father gives Himself as a perfect and complete self-gift to God the Son. The Son does likewise with the CCC 255 Father and the love between them is so powerful that it is a third John 17:10 person — the Holy Spirit.

• In this way, God is a Trinity — a communion of persons.

• Because we are made in the image of God — we are made in the image of love. This is why every human person craves relationships.

• We desire relationships and love — but not just any love. We desire to be loved in a selfess unconditional gift of self. We desire to live CCC 2331 a life that refects the perfect love of the Trinity.

• We desire love that gives life to our lives — just as the love between God the Father and God the Son is called God the Holy Spirit.

• The love that we desire should be alive and create life in our lives.

• All of us have been called to love — we are called to love God with our whole heart, mind, and soul, and to love our neighbor as Matthew 22:37-40 ourselves.

• This is every person’s call; the way in which we give and receive this love looks diferent depending on our state of life.

EXPRESSING AGAPE • There are two particular forms of agape love that are common in

G our families today: HIN

C • Storge love is the natural afection between a parent and a child. This is an example of agape love. This is the kind of love that gets

TEA a parent out of bed at 3 AM to take care of their sick child, or to

sacrifce their own lives for that of their family. LOVE

46 LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE CCC 2360 • Conjugal love is the love that is lived between a husband and a TOB 17:4 wife. Their agape love is demonstrated physically in the act of sex. Humanae Vitae 9 Their bodies literally are given in a total self gift every time they Key Term come together and renew their wedding vows through marital relations.

• Sex has two purposes — to be unifying and procreative. It CCC 2363 requires both of these attributes be present in the act, or it loses Humanae Vitae 12 its meaning. Sex achieves these purposes when it is total, free, fruitful, and faithful in marriage.

1. Total

• A husband and wife must not hold anything back from each other. CCC 2361 This is the idea of a “total self-gift.” If a person uses contraception or is not in a married relationship, they are holding a part of themselves back and are not giving every single part of themselves to the other.

2. Free CCC 2364 • Both spouses must consent to sex. Having sex must be a free Humanae Vitae 13 choice, not something that is forced or coerced. Both people willing engage in the sexual act.

3. Fruitful

CCC 2366-2367 • Sex must be open to life; this is the purpose that God designed it for. Sex naturally brings forth children and God commanded that man and woman “be fruitful and multiply” in the garden. This is a divine command.

• The ability to bring life into the world is a refection of God. God creates — so sex when it is fruitful is an act of creation between a husband, wife, and God.

• The love between the Father and the Son is so strong and so fruitful that it IS the third person of the Trinity. Likewise, fruitful love between a husband and a wife refects the Divine love of the Trinity as it is open to bringing forth another person.

• Every sexual act may not lead to the creation of life, but every sexual act must be open to new life. This is the natural end of sex and love — love always outgrows itself.

4. Faithful G

• Conjugal love is exclusive between two people. It is committed HIN CCC 2364-2365 and faithful “until death.” This is why sex takes place only within C CCC 1646-1647 the Sacrament of Marriage — in that sacrament, the husband and wife enter into a covenant committing themselves to each other. TEA

If a person has sex with a person he or she is dating, and then LOVE

LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE 47 breaks up, the sex wasn’t total or faithful, and likely not fruitful if that couple was using contraception.

• These four qualities — total, free, fruitful, and faithful — are promised in the wedding vows during the Sacrament of Marriage.

[If time allows, read through these vows. The priest asks if the couple is freely choosing marriage (free), if they will love each other for the rest of their lives (faithful), if they will accept children from God (fruitful), and during the vows the bride and groom give themselves totally to each other.]

BODY LANGUAGE • Our bodies speak a language. We know that male and female were created for each other; this is the nuptial meaning of the body. Sex TOB 10:1-4 as an act allows our bodies to speak.

• Sex, when it is total, faithful, fruitful, and free speaks a language of love, of agape. In the context of the Sacrament of Marriage, sex can be everything God created it to be.

• God created sex to be good. As humans, we have been given eros love; the passion that attracts us to another person. This is important within the Sacrament of Marriage , but it must be Deus Caritas Est 5 purifed by agape. We desire our spouse, but even more so, we desire what is best for them.

• This is the language our bodies speak — eros, passion, purifed by agape. It allows us to completely give ourselves to another person because we would die for them. We give our bodies to another Deus Caritas Est 6 person in sex because we could also give our lives for them as Christ gave His life for us.

• When eros is not purifed by agape, our bodies tell a lie. We engage in an action that should represent our desire to give our whole Deus Caritas Est 5 selves to another person, but we still hold back parts of ourselves, or even all of ourselves.

• Sex outside of marriage, or sex that is not total, free, fruitful, or faithful, is a lie. It speaks a language of lust — even if we are saying CCC 2353 we love someone with our words, our body says something else.

• Sex is meant to be an expression of life-giving, conjugal love. It is through this action that new human life comes about.

• It only makes perfect sense when it is part of a selfess, life giving G love between a man and a woman. It only makes sense in the

HIN context of agape love. C

TEA • How do you know when you have reached this point with a person? When you know you are ready to commit your entire life to a person and give everything for a person — that is when you are ready for sex. LOVE

48 LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE • When you are capable of supporting the life that may come about from the physical act of your love — you are ready. When you are capable of supporting another person and your future family, emotionally, physically and spiritually, until death do you part — you are ready.

• When you are capable and willing to stand in front of the person, their families and God Himself and commit to love the person for the rest of your life, in good times and bad and sickness and health.

• This is the Sacrament of Marriage. Sex is a renewal of the marriage vows. If you are not married, you are not ready for sex. In marriage agape and eros meet, our bodies speak the truth, and we can truly give and be given to another person.

• Love is the ultimate purpose of our life and our life’s mission and goal. It requires the utmost care and attention for us to achieve. We must not sell love short by settling for something less than the ultimate love that we are created for — created by Love Himself. G HIN C TEA

LOVE

LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE 49 LOVE HANDOUT THE LOVE OF GOD

InsTruCTIons: Use the questions below to refect on love in your life. Take your time and pray through each question before you respond.

Do your current relationships ft the defnition of "love" that Christ gave us?

______

What holds you back from loving God above everything else?

______

Are you willing to let God love you more, even if that means making changes in your life that may hurt? Why or why not?

______

______ANDOUT

H ______

LOVE

50 LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE LOVE CHECKLIST LIFE NIGHT CHECKLIST

CORE PLANNING TEAM: TWO WEEKS PRIOR TO LIFE NIGHT:

______⃞ Turn in a detailed outline of the Life Night to the youth minister. Allow the youth minister ______to give feedback and make any necessary changes. ______⃞ Create a list of needed supplies and materials. ______Assign a person to be responsible for collecting and/or purchasing the materials needed. DATE OF LIFE NIGHT: ⃞ Decide the people that will be doing the ______following things. Make sure they have a copy of the script and/or teaching outline. Inform them of any practices and/or deadlines. ONE MONTH PRIOR TO THE NIGHT: Teaching ______⃞ Give copies of the Life Night to each of the members of the planning team. Each person WEEK OF THE LIFE NIGHT: should read the Scripture and Catechism references as well as review the planning guide ⃞ Written outline of the teaching is given to the before the brainstorming meeting. youth minister and practiced.

⃞ Get the planning team together for a ⃞ Run a dress rehearsal of the Life Night. Youth brainstorming meeting (this should last no minister gives feedback. longer than 1 hour). The team prays and discusses where the teens are in their faith ⃞ Create environment and collect needed journey in relation to this topic. Then using this supplies. planning guide as a starting point, the team adapts the Life Night to meet the needs of the ⃞ E-mail entire Core Team an overview of the teens and the parish. Create a detailed outline night and small group questions. with any changes and/or adjustments. DAY OF THE LIFE NIGHT: ⃞ Assign the person responsible for each part of the Life Night: ⃞ Set up the environment. Make sure the room is clean and presentable. Environment ______⃞ Set up audio and video. Test the video clips to Love Songs ______make sure both picture and sound work.

Love Hunt (Video) ______⃞ Walk the entire Core Team through the Life

Night. Make sure all transitions are ready and LIST Journaling ______everyone knows their roles. CK HE

Adoration/Veneration ______⃞ Pray! Pray for the teens attending the Life C

Night. Pray for God's will to be done through the night. Pray over those involved. LOVE

LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE 51 LOVE EVALUATION LIFE NIGHT EVALUATION InsTruCTIons: Use the following questions to discuss and evaluate your Life Night.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how well did this Life Night 1. On a scale of 1-10, how well did this Life Night accomplish the goal we set? Explain. accomplish the goal we set? Explain.

2. What was the strongest aspect of this Life 2. What was the strongest aspect of this Life Night? Night?

3. What kind of follow-up do we need to do 3. What kind of follow-up do we need to do after this Life Night? after this Life Night?

4. What can we improve for future Life Nights? 4. What can we improve for future Life Nights? How can we accomplish this? How can we accomplish this?

1. On a scale of 1-10, how well did this Life Night 1. On a scale of 1-10, how well did this Life Night accomplish the goal we set? Explain. accomplish the goal we set? Explain.

2. What was the strongest aspect of this Life 2. What was the strongest aspect of this Life Night? Night?

3. What kind of follow-up do we need to do 3. What kind of follow-up do we need to do after this Life Night? after this Life Night?

4. What can we improve for future Life Nights? 4. What can we improve for future Life Nights? How can we accomplish this? How can we accomplish this? EVALUATION

LOVE

52 LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE Notes

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______NOTES

LOVE

LIFE TEEN CURRICULUM GUIDE 53