#1026 • September 15, 2010 Wetness, thy name is Spin’s Shower Party. nightspots page 20 Take a Picture It’ll Last Longer It lasts all night with Chicago’s Cher and Joey at Cocktail. page 15 How does gay Miss Continental marriage affect at the Park West. the health of page 8 those involved? page 19 That Guy by Kirk Williamson Determined as I was to lick Mr. Jake Shears when I saw Two big happenings at Cocktail: him at Berlin, all I managed You can win Chelsea Handler tick- was a brief peck on his neck. ets Wed., Sept. 15 with Teri and Missed opportunities and so dusTy. Come back Friday for the forth... grand opening of The Gardens, Cocktail’s new foodie space. Yum, Got a boner for bowling? There yum, bitches! are two big bowling events on Sat., Sept. 18 that’ll send your The girls of Chicago Gender Kirk NOT licking Scissor Sister pins flyin’. Society model vintage fashions Jake Shears at Berlin. with flair at the Highwood Street BEHIV presents the Pins For Market Festival on Sat., Sept. 18. A Cure bowling fundraiser at Visit www.highwoodstreetmar- Waveland Bowl at 1 p.m. Later ket.com for details. that same evening the ladies of LCCP and Affinity present STRIKE Make way for funny! Two Night- OUT Against Cancer at Seven spots contributors will split your Ten Bowling. Please see our full sides this week. Check out Laugh calendar listings on page 26 for Track, Adam Guerino’s new com- more info. edy Thursdays at Sidetrack. Plus, Homer Marrs stars in Mark And ALCC whisks us away to another Homer Like This at the Annoyance land with their annual travel- Theater. Once again, see calendar themed fundraiser on Wed., Sept. for mo’ info, yo. With Michael Margarito- 15 at Sidetrack. This year’s theme is Club Tango and you can win [email protected] Martinez Gondick at Parlour. caliente prizes in their raffle. See aidslegal.com for more info. PUBLISHER Tracy Baim ASSISTANT PUBLISHER Terri Klinsky nightspots MANAGING EDITOR #1026 • September 15, 2010 Kirk Williamson ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Terri Klinsky, Kirk Williamson, Amy Matheny MAIN COVER IMAGE NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Chicago’s Cher and Joey Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 Photos by Anthony Meade DIRECTOR OF NEW MEDIA Jean Albright TOP RIGHT Photo by Anthony Meade OFFICE Meghan Streit BOTTOM RIGHT PHOTOGraphY Photo by Kat Fitzgerald, www. Mel Ferrand, Kat Fitzgerald, DJ Greg Haus, Kirk, Kizzy, MysticImagesPhotogaraphy. Ryan Kolodziej, Anthony Meade, Steve Starr, DJ Res-5 com CAST OF CHARACTERS Andrew Davis, DJ Res-5, Adam Guerino, Homer Marrs, Marc “Moose”Moder, Jennifer Parello, Peter Copyright 2010 Windy City Media Group/Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved. Pointers, Randy Pubert Reprint by permission only. Back issues available for $3 per issue (postage included). Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots/Windy City Times will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such, subject to editing and nightspots comment. The opinions expressed by the columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and com- mentators are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots/Windy 5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640 City Times. Publication of the name, photograph, or likeness of a person or organization in articles or advertising in Nightspots/Windy City Times is not to be construed as any 773.871.7610, fax 773.871.7609 indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization. While we encourage readers to support the advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots/Windy www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com City Times cannot accept responsibility for advertising claims. [email protected] -RLQ/LIH/XEH3URMHFW&5<63DQGWKH&KLFDJR'HYHORSPHQWDO&HQWHUIRU$,'65HVHDUFK '&)$5 A2+>v= 6 @/ 19> >9 .9 A3>2 3>) ,6,72.$<72672386,1*&21'206:,7+0<%2<)5,(1'" .S]MY`O\ ^RO VSXU LO^aOOX $//DUHZHOFRPH \OVK^SYX]RSZ] KXN 23@ 3OHDVHMRLQXVIRUWKLV SXPOM^SYX KXN VOK\X aKc] )5((FRPPXQLW\HYHQW ^Y RK`O ^RO ]Ob cY_ aKX^ 7XHVGD\6HSWHPEHU KXN ]^Kc ROKV^Rc SP'RRUVRSHQIRU IRRGDQGVRFLDOL]LQJ SP3URJUDPEHJLQV -RLQUHVHDUFKHUV &ROOHHQ+RII &ROOHHQ+RII 6DQ)UDQFLVFR6WDWH8QLYHUVLW\ &HQWHURQ+DOVWHG DQG3DWULFN6XOOLYDQ (PRU\8QLYHUVLW\ +RRYHU/HSSHQ7KHDWUHUG)ORRU ZKRZLOOSUHVHQWWKHLUILQGLQJV 1RUWK+DOVWHG&KLFDJR 3DWULFN6XOOLYDQ 0RGHUDWHGE\%ULDQ0XVWDQVNL RIWKH8QLYHUVLW\RI,OOLQRLV&KLFDJR 3OHDVH5693WRGD\DW %ULDQ0XVWDQVNL /LIH/XEHRUJ WRHQVXUH\RXUVSDFH gay . sexy . healthy ,WLVKRSHGWKDW&KLFDJR'&)$5UHVHDUFKHUVFRPPXQLW\UHVHDUFKHUVSUDFWLWLRQHUVVHUYLFHSURYLGHUVDGYRFDWHVDQGPHPEHUVRIWKHFRPPXQLW\ZLOO VKDUHWKHLUILQGLQJVYDULRXVLQVLJKWVDQGH[SHULHQFHVZLWKWKHJRDORIGHWHUPLQLQJIXWXUHUHVHDUFKWRSLFVDQGFROODERUDWLRQV 3URMHFW&5<63LVD&KLFDJR'HSDUWPHQWRI3XEOLF+HDOWKFROODERUDWLRQZLWK$,'6)RXQGDWLRQRI&KLFDJR&HQWHURQ+DOVWHG+RZDUG%URZQ+HDOWK&HQWHUDQG 7HVW3RVLWLYH$ZDUH1HWZRUN Welcome Miss Continental 2011 Mohka Montrese at Park West. Photos by Kat Fitzgerald, www.MysticImagesPhotography.com It’s a leatherman sale: Everything’s half off! TOUCHE Photos by Kirk 8 nightspots September 15, 2010 DANCING ABOUT ARCHITECTURE by Marc “Moose” Moder BENDING GENDERS When most readers in their 20s or younger think of the ‘80s, heavy syths, sleek production and over- the-top looks come to mind. Well, that wasn’t what the landscape of music really looked like in 1982 when MTV was still new and so was Moose. Up until the summer of ’83 I’d never questioned the bland straight world of soft and hard rock of my youth. Then MTV hit my ‘hood and the first video I saw was The Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams.” It featured a beautiful, buzzed redhead in a man’s suit named Annie Lennox with her cow. I thought she was gorgeous but apparently Americans thought she was a freak, by standards at the time. About 30 minutes later Culture Club popped up with a hit they’d had earlier in the year, “Time (Clock of the Heart)”. Now I’d just purchased that debut LP but had no idea Boy George was basically a fancy drag queen of the British kind. He raised a similar stink, but oddly at that time, very few mentioned anyone’s sexuality, just “androgynous” and “gender-bending.” At the time, when MTV was new, visuals weren’t important. The biggest pop stars of the past few years before were Air Supply, Kim Carnes and Christopher Cross. Go look up their videos. Not pretty. Then the handsome acts came: Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Kajagoogoo. But Boy and Annie took it to a new level – gorgeous and shocking. There was a new batch of kids coming up who’d grown up on the pan-sexuality of Bowie, Marc Bolin, and Patti Smith. They found gender rolls and soft looks boring and longed to push the buttons, much like Madonna was doing, only not as obvious. Before them, the kids in America were dull copies of the last generation. With Boy and Annie, our minds and ears were opened to fuck with gender and sex and our parents. We’d never be the same again. Come hear Moose and Voxbox spin the best of Annie Lennox and Boy George on Fri., Sept. 24 at Wild Pug. www.danceaboutarc.wordpress.com 10 nightspots September 15, 2010 Gimme, gimme MOORE: Mrs. Kutcher makes an appearance. HYDRATE Photos by Anthony Meade A smokin’ good time. SCOT’S Photos by Kirk nightspots 11 September 15, 2010 Lipstick Thursdays: You can’t make this stuff up! PARLOUR Photos by Kizzy Shake and Jake: Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears couldn’t have been nicer! BERLIN Photos by Kirk 12 nightspots September 15, 2010 LLIIVVEE!! SSttaanndd--UUpp CCoommeeddyy with Adam guerino and Bradley Thomas EEvveerryy TThhuurrssddaayy 88--99ppmm NNoo CCoovveerr!! ® JJooiinniinngg AAddaamm && BBrraaddlleeyy........ GlassBar SSeepptt.. 1166 opens at CCaammeerroonn EEssppoossiittoo && BBiillll CCrruuzz 3pm SSeepptt.. 2233 MainBar JJooee FFeerrnnaaddeezz && TTaammaallee SSeepppp opens at SSeepptt.. 3300 7pm NNyyllee FFiisshheerr &&BBeetthh SStteelllliinngg AABBSSOOLLUUTT--LLYY HHIILLAARRIIOOUUSS 3349 N. Halsted SidetrackChicago.com MARRS ATTACKS! by Homer Marrs more bottom-up. That’s not an innuendo. In any case, you’ll Literally! My head’s get his number soooo much faster if you tell him your exploding! Figuratively! bedroom “comprises” things you’d rather not say out loud than “is comprised of” said Okay, folks, if you’re reading super easy! Because it’s not a things. (This works especially this you probably already have word. Drop the “ir-” and you’ll well if you’re trying to pick a leg up on most of what we’ll be that much closer to getting up an English teacher. That be discussing in today’s class. his number. happens a lot, right?) But you might want a brush- up, or you might be new to 4) Yep. OK, this is a highly 7) Notate. This is a word, but the language and in search of specific usage I’m going to it’s not the same as “note.” If all the fine-toothed grammar criticize, and it’s more from you want to be sure you take combing you can find. a place of etiquette than notice of something, “note” Regardless (we’ll get to that grammar, but here goes. If it, especially if you want to one... ), please read on: someone says, “thank you” or write it down in word form. “thanks,” and you reply, “yep,” Don’t “notate” it. For instance, 1) Literally. Let’s get this out doesn’t that sound just a shade if Tayna looks like she might of the way ’cause many of you rude? It’s kind of like saying, win the Gaga contest after literally know this already. “I acknowledge that you’re all, you might be wise to “Literally” does not mean “very,” thanking me, and you need to,” note her moves on the dance “totally” or “extremely.” So if which is a far cry from “you’re floor to help you improve you were very drunk one night, welcome.” when you practice in your you were not “literally” wasted.