ACT ONE

Lights up. LYDIE stands on one side of the stage, in a hospital gown. She is lit in a spotlight. The rest of the stage is darkened.

LYDIE If we’re being honest, I’m a little nervous. I’ve never really...done this before.

Beat. She listens to an unseen doctor.

I don’t really know who I was talking to about things...nobody, I guess. My parents were...it wasn’t easy to talk to them about it. I had some friends, but...sort of the same deal. I don’t think I was fair to them though. I didn’t...I don’t...really know how to connect to people. Like that. Without...physical stuff. Yikes. Doesn’t make me sound very good. But, it’s true, my parents were, well, they’re good. They just don’t seem to get the whole two­ended conversation thing. Especially when I was little. I was...very...curious.

The rest of the stage lights go up. LYDIE rips off her hospital gown, revealing a childish white dress. She turns into her young self. The entire back wall is covered in pictures of half­naked women and pin­up models. She dances, in an imitation­sexy way, to “Oops, I Did It Again”, in a large mirror. Occasionally she will pull up her skirt and stare at herself, discovering her own body. She poses and postures, makes faces, fusses with her body. Her movements are awkward and immature. It should be very amusing.

MOTHER and FATHER enter from opposite sides of the stage and are each lit on their respective sides. They stand facing the audience.

MOTHER Let’s have a talk, Lydia.

LYDIE shrieks and turns abruptly, pulling her dress back down.

FATHER Lydie, I want to tell you about the birds and the bees.

LYDIE Okay.

FATHER Do you know what's down there under your underpants, honey? That's your vagina. It's what makes you a girl.

MOTHER In a few years, you are going to start bleeding from your vagina. That's called a period. It's what makes you a woman.

LYDIE opens her mouth to speak but her father interrupts her.

FATHER When you get married to a nice man, you and your husband are going to want to do something where you take off your clothes and touch each other.

MOTHER Once you get your period, you're going to be able to become pregnant.

FATHER The penis, which is my part, goes into the vagina, which is your part. That's one of the ways people show that they love each other.

LYDIE starts to ask a question but her mother interrupts her.

MOTHER It's not okay to have sex unless you want to get pregnant. Unless you want to have a baby. So you have to make sure that you really love that person. If you have sex with a person you don't love, that's bad.

FATHER Putting a penis in your vagina can feel really good, but it's important to make sure you know how serious doing that is, too.

MOTHER Wait until you know for sure.

LYDIE How do I know?

MOTHER and FATHER You'll know. FATHER Do you understand all that?

MOTHER Does that make any sense to you?

LYDIE Yes.

MOTHER and FATHER Good.

MOTHER and FATHER exit. KIRA enters. She is an eight­year­old girl. The two each lie on a bed, reading Highlights.

LYDIE Kira, which do you think is more important, sex or love?

KIRA Love. That's always more important.

LYDIE Maybe...

KIRA Haven't you seen the movies? People fall in love, then they kiss, then they have sex and then they get married. They just can't wait that long.

LYDIE Why can't they?

KIRA Because sex is the best thing in the world! Didn't you know that? LYDIE No!

KIRA It is! I've seen people on TV, they scream and make noises and it looks like it's bad but at the end they're all happy and they say "Yes yes yes" during it so you know it feels good.

LYDIE Well, what does it feel like?

KIRA I don't know. Maybe like being tickled. Because it's good and it's bad at the same time.

LYDIE That does sound good.

KIRA But we’re way too young for it still.

LYDIE We are?

KIRA Uh­huh. Good girls wait ‘til they’re adults. That’s what my mom says.

LYDIE Oh. Okay.

KIRA exits. MCBAIN enters. He stands at a desk, addressing the audience. LYDIE sits on a stool watching him.

MCBAIN Sexual intercourse is not only an act of love, but a biological process. When a man ejaculates, tiny sperm exit his testicular glands and swim through the woman's ovaries. The first sperm to reach the woman's egg is what will begin to make the baby.

LYDIE brings her stool in front of MCBAIN’s desk

MCBAIN Lydia, I've noticed you've been having some problems with this unit. Do you feel uncomfortable at all?

LYDIE Well, I don't know. I guess I'm just kind of confused.

MCBAIN Confused about what?

LYDIE Well, my parents told me that sex and love are…like, connected, you know? That you can't have one without the other. But, the way you describe it sounds so…clinical. I just don't know how such an exact science could be reliant on such an abstract concept.

MCBAIN Well, Lydia, that's part of what makes it so beautiful. Loving somebody with your whole heart becomes so overpowering that you have to love somebody with your whole body as well. And that link to biology and the metaphysical? It makes it such an intricate, such a meaningful art. Sex is truly one of the world's greatest mysteries, which is why so many people find it so fascinating. Are you fascinated by sex, Lydia?

LYDIE Yeah... I think so.

MCBAIN I'm not surprised. You're at that age now. You've had your period?

LYDIE Uh huh.

MCBAIN Things can get confusing for girls your age during that time. I want you to know that you're always welcome to come to me with questions. He exits. KIRA enters again and they resume their positions from before on the beds, but now they hold issues of Tiger Beat.

KIRA So he just tells you all this stuff?

LYDIE Yeah.

KIRA All about penises and vaginas.

LYDIE Everything. Stuff he'd get in trouble for saying in class.

KIRA Hot.

LYDIE What? No, cut it out.

KIRA He's handsome, for an older guy.

LYDIE No he isn't.

KIRA He is! Is he married?

LYDIE I don't know.

KIRA Yes, you do.

LYDIE He isn't. He was but he isn't now.

KIRA He got divorced?

LYDIE Yeah.

KIRA Does he tell you about her?

LYDIE What about her?

KIRA Sex with her.

LYDIE Seriously?

KIRA Yeah!

LYDIE Only a little bit.

KIRA What's it like?

LYDIE I dunno. It's interesting I guess. He's really young.

KIRA For a teacher.

LYDIE He's kinda cute, too.

KIRA You said he wasn't.

LYDIE Well, he is.

KIRA Maybe he likes you.

LYDIE That's gross.

KIRA Maybe he does.

LYDIE Gross!

KIRA But maybe he does!

LYDIE Okay, maybe he does!

KIRA Wait, really?

LYDIE Yes. No. I don't know.

KIRA That's gross.

LYDIE You're gross!

KIRA So what are you gonna do?

LYDIE I don't know.

KIRA It's illegal to date him.

LYDIE It is?

KIRA He's too old!

LYDIE He's not old.

KIRA So are you going to have sex with him?

LYDIE No. That's wrong. I don't love him.

KIRA Last night I heard my big brother and his girlfriend having sex and I asked him if he loved her and he said no, he just loved parts of her.

LYDIE What does that mean? KIRA I don't know.

LYDIE Is it okay to have sex with someone if you just love parts of them?

KIRA Maybe.

KIRA exits and MCBAIN enters. He and LYDIE resume their previous positions, although this time MCBAIN sits on another stool.

MCBAIN To what do I owe the pleasure today, Lydia?

LYDIE I just wanted to talk to you some more. About sex and stuff.

MCBAIN Of course. That's what I'm here for.

LYDIE What do you do if you want to have sex with somebody, but you don't know if you love them?

MCBAIN Well, I think your parents might have misinformed you a little bit, Lydie. He takes off his glasses and begins to clean them. When a person reaches a certain age, they gain a level of maturity which allows them to perform intercourse without being in love with the person. Some people just consider sex to be a recreational activity. It's certainly enjoyable in the right circumstances, and sometimes it's enough to just gain equal pleasure from your partner without forming deeper relationships. Sex is a very pleasurable activity, Lydia. I take great pleasure in it, at least. And while I believe it's important to put a great deal of thought into it before you perform intercourse with a person, it is my strong belief that there is no great harm in casual sex every once in awhile. Giving in to the things we want. After all, we are all human. We all have needs. We all have desires.

LYDIE Have I ever told you that I love your glasses? MCBAIN You have not.

LYDIE Well, I do.

MCBAIN (Laughing) Thank you. Have I ever told you that I love your smile?

LYDIE No.

MCBAIN Well, I do. You are an exceptional student and a delight to talk with. Puts a hand on her knee. Truly a delight. He leans over and kisses her on the mouth.

LYDIE Oh.

MCBAIN Was that what you wanted?

LYDIE Yes.

MCBAIN Do you want it again?

LYDIE No.

MCBAIN Oh.

Beat

MCBAIN You're very beautiful, Lydia. I would like to kiss you again.

LYDIE Thank you... but I don't want you to. MCBAIN I’m not sure I believe you.

LYDIE I don't. Please don't.

MCBAIN He touches her. You’ve led me to believe you do want this, Lydia.

LYDIE Please don’t.

MCBAIN (Pained) I won't. But I want to. Very badly. You are so beautiful.

LYDIE Thank you. I have to go.

MCBAIN Please don't tell your parents.

LYDIE I won't.

MCBAIN And please come visit me again. Soon.

LYDIE Okay.

He exits. KIRA enters and she and LYDIE sit on the same bed.

KIRA He actually did it?

LYDIE Yes.

KIRA Wow.

LYDIE I know.

KIRA Wow.

LYDIE I know.

KIRA Wow.

LYDIE I know.

KIRA What did it feel like?

LYDIE Weird.

KIRA Good weird?

LYDIE No. I don't know. Maybe. No.

KIRA Oh. Well, was it your first kiss?

LYDIE Uh­huh.

KIRA Do you feel bad?

LYDIE I don't know.

KIRA What do you feel?

LYDIE I don't know.

KIRA Try.

LYDIE Guilty.

KIRA Guilty?

LYDIE Guilty. And gross. Like I peed myself in front of everyone.

KIRA Peed yourself?

LYDIE Yeah. I don't know.

KIRA Well…congratulations?

LYDIE Thanks.

KIRA exits. LYDIE begins walking down the length of the stage. CHARLIE bumps into her, holding an armful of school books. The two stare at each other for a very long time. They are both transfixed with each other. CHARLIE grins at her and walks off. KIRA enters. The two of them sit on one bed.

KIRA Charlie asked you out?!?

LYDIE He did.

KIRA He's cute.

LYDIE I know.

KIRA Do you like him?

LYDIE I’m not sure.

KIRA You should. He’s cute.

LYDIE Yeah.

KIRA You should say yes.

LYDIE Okay.

KIRA Just don’t let him get too far. You don’t want a reputation.

LYDIE Reputation?

KIRA You know. You don’t want to be one of those girls.

LYDIE (She doesn’t know what she’s talking about) Oh. Oh, yeah. No way.

KIRA exits and CHARLIE enters. The two of them sit in two seats facing the audience. CHARLIE holds a box of Junior Mints. A soft light shines on them as if a movie screen is in front of them. Softly, a scene from The Notebook can be heard.

CHARLIE Do you want some Junior Mints?

LYDIE Sure. Thanks.

CHARLIE Uh huh.

LYDIE Thanks for buying my ticket.

CHARLIE Yeah. No problem.

The two are awkwardly silent for a long, long time, staring out at the unseen screen. Every time he moves or shifts, she winces.

LYDIE Do you wanna­

CHARLIE If you­­

CHARLIE and LYDIE Sorry.

LYDIE What?

CHARLIE I just wanted you to know, I think you're really pretty.

LYDIE Oh. Thank you.

The two are silent again. LYDIE is visibly terrified. Slowly, CHARLIE reaches his arm out behind her. She is very aware of him but pretends she does not notice. She is holding her breath. Finally, he puts his arm around her. They both stare out. CHARLIE leans so his head is close to hers. He whispers in her ear.

CHARLIE Hi.

LYDIE (Laughing) Hi.

She finally relaxes. The two stare out at the screen, smiling.

CHARLIE exits. KIRA enters. They sit on separate beds.

KIRA And that was it?

LYDIE That was it.

KIRA He didn't try to kiss you?

LYDIE No.

KIRA He's crazy.

LYDIE I think it's nice.

KIRA I guess.

LYDIE He was sweet.

KIRA If I were a guy taking you out I would try to kiss you.

LYDIE No you wouldn't.

KIRA Yes I would.

LYDIE Would not. KIRA Would too! You're so filled out, I mean. You have boobs.

LYDIE I have boobs?

KIRA Big ones.

LYDIE Not that big.

KIRA They look good! You’re so, like, sexy.

LYDIE Shut up.

KIRA You love me.

LYDIE Yeah, kinda.

KIRA jumps to LYDIE’s bed.

KIRA You lo­o­o­o­o­ve me.

LYDIE Shut up!

KIRA You wanna kiss me.

LYDIE You wanna kiss me!

KIRA Do not.

LYDIE You just said!

KIRA If I were a boy.

LYDIE Yeah right. You totally have the hots for me.

KIRA Shut up.

LYDIE You shut up!

KIRA Bitch.

LYDIE Loser.

KIRA Slut.

They kiss quickly and sloppily. Break away.

They kiss again. Break away.

They kiss some more. It is awkward but passionate. They break away and look at each other.

LYDIE That feels...

KIRA Um.

LYDIE I liked it.

KIRA Really? I...don’t know.

Beat

KIRA Are we weird?

LYDIE I don’t know.

KIRA We shouldn’t do it again.

LYDIE I know.

KIRA It’s weird.

KIRA I know.

KIRA exits. MOTHER and FATHER enter from respective sides again. Same lighting cue.

MOTHER It’s not weird, Lydie.

LYDIE It’s not?

MOTHER You’re getting to the age where your hormones make you do all sorts of crazy things.

LYDIE Hormones?

MOTHER The trick is just to make sure you don’t get into too much trouble.

LYDIE Trouble?

FATHER Curiosity is a very natural thing at your age.

MOTHER Just know where to draw the line.

LYDIE The line?

MOTHER I’m glad we had this talk.

FATHER It’s good to be open about this sort of thing with your parents.

MOTHER Did that clear anything up?

FATHER Feel any better now?

LYDIE Yes.

MOTHER and FATHER Good.

MOTHER and FATHER both exit. CHARLIE enters and sits on LYDIE’s bed.

LYDIE I’m probably weird.

CHARLIE Uh huh.

LYDIE It just doesn’t make sense.

CHARLIE Uh huh.

LYDIE None of it does.

CHARLIE Uh huh. LYDIE Hey. I’m sorry I’m, like, dumping all this on you

CHARLIE It’s okay.

LYDIE ‘Cuz I obviously can’t talk to Kira, and I tried talking to Mom and Dad, and I used to be able to talk about it with Mr. M­­well, I mean. Yeah.

CHARLIE It’s really okay. I don’t get to hear about this stuff a lot so it’s kinda cool to me.

LYDIE Really?

CHARLIE Uh huh.

LYDIE Oh.

Beat

Charlie, I like you.

CHARLIE I like you, too.

LYDIE Do you want to kiss me?

CHARLIE Okay. He kisses her quickly.

LYDIE ...thanks.

CHARLIE ...you’re welcome?

Beat

Beat

Beat

CHARLIE This is a little weird.

LYDIE Yeah. Can we just be friends?

CHARLIE (Relieved) Okay.

CHARLIE exits. MOTHER and FATHER enter the same way.

MOTHER Lydia, who’s that boy you’ve been hanging around with?

LYDIE His name is Charlie, Mom.

FATHER He seems like a fine young man.

LYDIE I guess.

MOTHER So you like this boy?

LYDIE Well, yeah, he’s my friend.

FATHER Are you two dating?

LYDIE Dad! No!

MOTHER It’s just that sometimes it can be hard to be so close with a boy because somebody develops feelings, somebody wants to get closer.

LYDIE Nobody wants that, Mom.

FATHER I only had one thing on my mind when I was his age.

LYDIE Gross.

FATHER Well, you kids just behave yourselves.

MOTHER Make sure he knows where he stands. Don’t go leading him on.

The two exit. KIRA, LYDIE and CHARLIE sit on a bed. They each hold up a different amount of fingers on both hands.

KIRA That’s literally what they said?

LYDIE That’s literally what they said.

CHARLIE (A very poor imitation) You kids behave yourselves!!!

KIRA Your dad is the shit.

CHARLIE Yeah, I actually love that dude.

LYDIE Me too, I guess.

KIRA Yeah, we all love Lydie’s daddy. So are we still playing or what? CHARLIE Yeah, Kira, your turn.

KIRA My fingers are almost gone.

LYDIE Not our fault you sleep around all the time.

CHARLIE Ha, burn.

KIRA Shut up, virgins. Never have I ever...shit, I’ve done everything. Never have I ever let somebody take a shit on me.

Charlie puts down a finger.

LYDIE Wait, WHAT?

KIRA No fucking way.

CHARLIE Well, does it count if she was two years old and I was babysitting her?

KIRA Oh.

LYDIE No.

CHARLIE We were just playing airplane...and the next thing I knew, she dropped an atomic bomb.

KIRA You are such a weirdass. Your turn, Lydie.

LYDIE Okay. Um...never have I ever...watched porn. KIRA What?!?!

CHARLIE Kira, you fucking liar, you said all girls watch porn.

KIRA They do! (To LYDIE) You don’t?

LYDIE No...

CHARLIE Alright. He takes out his laptop. We are going to fix this.

LYDIE Oh my God, no.

CHARLIE Too late! I demand porn!

LYDIE Charlie­­

CHARLIE Porn, I say!

LYDIE Kira, please tell him he’s being stupid.

Beat

KIRA (Chanting quietly) Porn. Porn. Porn.

CHARLIE (Joining the chant) Porn. Porn. Porn.

LYDIE Stop it­­

CHARLIE and KIRA Porn! Porn! Porn!

LYDIE My parents are gonna hear!

CHARLIE and KIRA PORN! PORN! PORN!

LYDIE Stop!

CHARLIE and KIRA PORN! PORN! PORNPORNPORNPORNPORN!

LYDIE Oh my God, FINE!

KIRA Yay!

CHARLIE Yay porn!

Charlie types on the keyboard and pulls something up. He clicks on something. They all spend a long, long time gawking at the computer silently.

LYDIE Is it supposed to go in like that?

KIRA Like what?

LYDIE With her facing down.

CHARLIE That’s called doggie­style.

LYDIE So...he’s in her butt right now?

KIRA Jesus, no! It...it goes in the vagina, it just...it goes in there, okay?

LYDIE Okay...okay.

More silence as they watch.

LYDIE Why is he calling her a bitch?

KIRA He’s being dominant. It’s sexy.

LYDIE It is?

KIRA Yeah! Girl, you are remarkably uneducated in the ways of baby­making.

CHARLIE (In a bad Elvis voice) It’s okay, little darlin’, I’ll teach you. He collapses on top of her, LYDIE laughing and flailing underneath him. KIRA climbs on top and joins in the wrestling. It should look very erotic, although unintentional. Blackout on their hooting laughter.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

Lights up. A great hole has burned through the center of the mural. LYDIE sits on a stool center stage. AUGUST enters. He is a college boy. He lays on a bed, dressed in jeans and no shirt.

AUGUST Baby.

LYDIE No.

AUGUST Baby.

LYDIE No.

AUGUST Baby.

LYDIE I said no. No means no.

AUGUST C’mon. What’s wrong, huh?

LYDIE Nothing’s wrong.

AUGUST What did I do?

LYDIE You didn’t do anything.

AUGUST Then what’s wrong?

LYDIE Nothing is wrong! Is it out of the realm of possibility that not everybody wants to give you a blowjob?

AUGUST Well­­

LYDIE Don’t even answer that.

AUGUST Listen, if you don’t want to­­

LYDIE I don’t want to!

AUGUST Then you don’t have to.

LYDIE Good.

Beat

AUGUST It’s just, I mean, when you dress like that, and then all night you’ve been acting so...

LYDIE “So” what?

AUGUST So, I don’t know, inviting. So receptive.

LYDIE So slutty.

AUGUST Not slutty...

LYDIE You don’t have to pretty everything up just ‘cuz you’re a fucking poetry major, August.

AUGUST Well, I mean, yes, you were! And not in a bad way, in a good way, in a way I really liked, because, y’know, you’re like, whoa. You know? You’re just so...I mean, you are. Truly.

LYDIE Um. Thank you?

AUGUST So I thought maybe...

LYDIE Maybe...

AUGUST Maybe you might want to.

LYDIE Well, I don’t want to, August. And news flash? No girl ever wants to do that.

AUGUST What?

LYDIE Nobody. Ever. We only do it to make you happy. And you lost that privilege tonight.

AUGUST Girls don’t want to­­

LYDIE Cram your disgusting dicks down their throats and swallow the mucus­y stuff that comes out of it? No, not really.

AUGUST Jesus.

LYDIE Ugh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. That was harsh. I’m sorry.

AUGUST It’s fine. LYDIE I’m just­­

AUGUST Worked up. I got it.

LYDIE Yeah.

Beat

I totally just ruined tonight, didn’t I.

AUGUST Well­­

LYDIE I did want to, you know, with you. But not that. Not that trashy stuff.

AUGUST Trashy?

LYDIE I just wanted to have some, like, you know, good clean normal American sex. Missionary. Effective.

AUGUST Get the job done.

LYDIE Exactly. Yes.

Beat

That’s all I wanted.

AUGUST We can have that.

LYDIE No we can’t, not tonight, not anymore.

AUGUST I could­­

LYDIE It’s fine, you know? It’s fine.

AUGUST But...I want to. Really. I do. Normal sex. Sounds great. Let’s do it.

LYDIE You’re cute.

AUGUST Thanks.

LYDIE Not tonight, okay?

AUGUST Shit.

LYDIE Just...not tonight.

Beat

AUGUST Can I ask you a personal question?

LYDIE Um, alright.

AUGUST How many people have you slept with?

LYDIE Oh my God.

AUGUST I’m not gonna judge you­­

LYDIE What do you wanna know that for? AUGUST Just tell me.

LYDIE But why?

AUGUST Just tell me!

LYDIE Eighty four.

AUGUST Lyd.

LYDIE Six.

AUGUST Six?

LYDIE Well, maybe four.

AUGUST Four people.

LYDIE Three or four.

AUGUST Three to four people.

LYDIE Roughly.

Beat

AUGUST So you’d say like three point five people?

LYDIE August. AUGUST Just so I can be clear.

LYDIE August, stop it.

AUGUST Closer to three or closer to four, would you say?

LYDIE Stop.

AUGUST Was one a black guy? I keep telling you, Lyd, the Three Fifths Compromise is no longer in practice­­

LYDIE None, okay?

AUGUST What?

LYDIE I haven’t...slept with anybody.

Beat

AUGUST Ah.

LYDIE Yeah.

AUGUST I thought maybe.

LYDIE Yeah.

Beat

AUGUST Shit, I’m an asshole.

LYDIE A little bit.

AUGUST Thanks.

LYDIE Uh huh.

AUGUST So you’ve never even­­

LYDIE Nothing.

AUGUST Not even­­

LYDIE Nothing. Never.

AUGUST Wow.

Beat

Am I allowed to ask why?

LYDIE No.

AUGUST Why?

LYDIE I said no!

AUGUST Is it religious reasons?

LYDIE No. AUGUST Are you scared?

LYDIE No, I’m not scared.

AUGUST Did you have, like, some bad experience as a kid?

Beat. LYDIE’s eyes brim over with tears. She quickly turns away from him so he cannot see this. Furiously wipes her eyes.

LYDIE Wow, you just asked me that.

AUGUST I just­­

LYDIE How long have we known each other now? Like a month maybe?

AUGUST Lyd­­

LYDIE And you inquire whether or not I was molested as a child. Okay. Good.

AUGUST That wasn’t what I was asking!

LYDIE Then what were you asking?

AUGUST Just if you, ever, you know­­

LYDIE Was touched when I didn’t want to be touched.

AUGUST Um.

LYDIE Well, the answer is no, asshole.

AUGUST No.

LYDIE I had a very healthy prepubescent sex life.

AUGUST Okay.

LYDIE Nonexistent, therefore healthy.

AUGUST So not even second base.

LYDIE No.

AUGUST Not even first base?

LYDIE I don’t even know what the bases are anymore.

AUGUST French, feel, finger, fuck.

LYDIE Thank you, seventh grade.

AUGUST Well, you asked.

Beat

AUGUST It’s okay that you haven’t. I’m not gonna make you do anything.

LYDIE Good. AUGUST Because I actually really care about you.

LYDIE (Coldly) Thanks.

AUGUST But that’s why I want to do it, you know? Because I care about you. Because I think you’re a wonderful person.

LYDIE Being wonderful isn’t sexually transmitted.

AUGUST But, you know, sex is the closest you can get to another person. I wanna be like that with you. I wanna be close to you. All the time. That’s really all I want. I don’t want you to think I’m all salacious because I’m not. I just...I like you. More than any other girl I’ve met here so far. I think you’re smart. And interesting. Kind, and funny. And really cute, and sexy too, yes, but that doesn’t even matter really, not to me. What I’m saying is that I don’t want to have sex with you because of physical stuff. I just wanna show you how much I like you. I think it’s so important to like the person that you sleep with, because it makes their bond even stronger. I wanna have a strong bond with you, Lydie. I wanna get to know you. This is a way I can do that.

Beat

LYDIE You really are cute.

AUGUST Thank you.

LYDIE I like you a lot too, August.

AUGUST Thank you.

LYDIE Is this how you get girls to sleep with you? With speeches like that?

AUGUST You mean you­­

LYDIE Yeah. I think so.

AUGUST Okay.

LYDIE Okay?

AUGUST C’mere.

LYDIE Don’t make it hurt, alright?

AUGUST It won’t hurt. He begins to remove her shirt

LYDIE Careful, that’s­­

AUGUST I’ll be careful.

LYDIE Not too dirty alright?

AUGUST Nothing too dirty.

The lights go out but the talking continues.

LYDIE Not so hard.

AUGUST It’s okay. LYDIE Wait, wait, wait.

AUGUST It’s okay.

LYDIE Can you just hold on?

AUGUST It’s okay.

LYDIE Stop saying that, August, it’s not okay.

AUGUST is silent but the creaking of bedsprings can still be heard.

LYDIE August, stop.

Creaking.

LYDIE Stop.

Creaking.

LYDIE (Forcefully) Stop!

AUGUST Stop?

LYDIE Stop.

Beat

AUGUST I don’t know if I can.

LYDIE Really?

AUGUST Yeah. It’s just, I’m like, almost­­

LYDIE You think you’re gonna­­

AUGUST Yeah. Can I just­­

LYDIE If you think you’re­­

AUGUST I’m gonna­­

LYDIE If you have to­­

AUGUST He orgasms. Ahhh. Oh.

Beat

Beat

Beat

AUGUST Do you want me to­­

LYDIE No.

AUGUST You sure?

LYDIE Yeah. You can leave.

AUGUST Really?

LYDIE Yes. I just wanna be alone for a while.

AUGUST Okay.

LYDIE Okay.

AUGUST Okay.

Beat

Can I call you tomorrow?

LYDIE If you want to.

AUGUST I’ll call you tomorrow.

LYDIE Fine.

Beat

AUGUST That was fun.

LYDIE Um.

AUGUST Well, have a good night, okay?

LYDIE Okay.

Sound of a door closing. The light turns on. LYDIE sits on her bed, wrapped in a sheet. She is motionless. She stares at nothing. She can’t speak. She can’t do anything. Lights down.

Lights up. LYDIE lies on a bed, recovering from an orgasm. She is catching her breath. VIOLET sits next to her on the bed, smoking a cigarette. She is an attractive woman in her mid­twenties. She wears a bra and jeans.

LYDIE Sorry about that.

VIOLET About what?

LYDIE Being so...loud.

VIOLET Honey. Never apologize for that. Seriously. Who told you you’re not allowed to be loud?

LYDIE Nobody. I don’t know.

VIOLET I liked it.

LYDIE smiles brightly.

VIOLET You want a cigarette?

LYDIE Oh, no thank you, I don’t smoke.

VIOLET Alright.

LYDIE Well. Thank you. For that.

VIOLET You are very welcome.

LYDIE I mean it. That was...wow.

VIOLET I could tell.

LYDIE You really know what you’re doing down there.

VIOLET Ten years of stubborn lesbianism will do that to a girl.

LYDIE Guess so.

VIOLET And I’m pretty sure the bassoon lessons also helped.

LYDIE (Laughing) Oh my god.

VIOLET I’m serious! There’s this thing called flutter­tonguing, they use it in like old school New Orleans jazz music, it’s what makes the instrument go “Frrfrrfrr” and you just kinda­

LYDIE Stop it, I’m gonna cum again!

VIOLET Alright, alright.

LYDIE Ahh. You’re a lot of fun, you know that?

VIOLET So I’ve been told. You’re not so bad yourself.

LYDIE Thank you.

VIOLET What about your fiancee? Isn’t he a lot of fun?

LYDIE August? God, no.

VIOLET Or you wouldn’t be here, right?

LYDIE Right.

VIOLET He’s gonna find out, you know.

LYDIE How?

VIOLET They always do.

LYDIE You know this from experience, right?

VIOLET You’re not the first sexually frustrated straight girl to come crying on my shoulder.

LYDIE I hardly came running to you. You were pursuing.

VIOLET Well, you’re hotter than most of them. Couldn’t help it.

LYDIE Right. Well. Thank you.

VIOLET He’s gonna regret the day he took you to that poetry reading.

LYDIE You were the only good one there.

VIOLET Please. You just thought I was hot.

LYDIE Ha. Maybe.

VIOLET Lemme see the ring.

She takes LYDIE’s hand and scrutinizes the ring on her finger. LYDIE curls her fingers around VIOLET’s hand affectionately. VIOLET ignores this.

VIOLET August. That’s his name?

LYDIE August.

VIOLET What does he do?

LYDIE Um...very little, actually.

VIOLET Oh yeah?

LYDIE lies down across VIOLET’s lap, still holding her hand.

LYDIE He waits tables. He writes a chapter of a novel and then throws it away. He reads e.e. cummings. He wanders aimlessly around the apartment.

VIOLET He sounds like a class act.

LYDIE He’s a person. VIOLET Right. But you’re going to marry him.

LYDIE I guess. I mean, I’ve known him for long enough, why not?

VIOLET That’s pretty sad.

LYDIE And I do love him, I think. I mean I guess I would be upset if he got cancer or fell off a bridge or something.

VIOLET Well, that’s encouraging.

LYDIE I don’t know, Violet. He seemed interesting when I met him. And he made me laugh. And he’s nice, I mean, he’s always been so nice to me.

VIOLET Nice is a codeword for “tiny penis.” What’s the sex like?

LYDIE With him? She makes a so­so gesture with her hand. But I mean, that shouldn’t matter too much, should it?

VIOLET It matters immensely.

LYDIE No it doesn’t!

VIOLET Sex and love? They’re so co­dependent, it’s not even funny.

LYDIE Shut up.

VIOLET I’m absolutely serious.

LYDIE Sex is sex!

VIOLET Never just sex.

LYDIE You are the queen of casual sex!

VIOLET But never without feelings.

LYDIE So you...like me?

VIOLET Don’t be stupid. Of course I do.

LYDIE You like­like me?

VIOLET Am I a pedophile? I wasn’t aware that you are six.

LYDIE Shut up.

VIOLET Do you like me?

LYDIE I’m engaged.

VIOLET Shall we rewind to about ten minutes ago?

LYDIE Why, what was I doing?

VIOLET (Imitating Lydie’s voice) “Oh God, yes! Oh, Vi, Violet, I love you I love you I love you.”

LYDIE Oh...

VIOLET Remember that?

LYDIE Well, yeah, but that was when you were...I mean, I say a lot of things I don’t mean when someone’s­­

VIOLET See, you think you don’t mean it, but your subconscious is very astute, so it will make you react that way without you trying to because it knows shit you don’t.

LYDIE Violet. I’m not a lesbian.

VIOLET Doesn’t matter.

LYDIE I’m getting married.

VIOLET Doesn’t matter.

LYDIE You’re being presumptuous. I don’t love you, I don’t care­­

VIOLET Then leave.

LYDIE What?

VIOLET Nothing’s stopping you.

LYDIE But...I...I don’t want to.

VIOLET I know.

LYDIE ..God.

VIOLET Feelings. It happens.

LYDIE I do like you.

VIOLET I know.

LYDIE More than him.

VIOLET I know.

LYDIE Not just cuz of the sex, just cuz of...you.

VIOLET I know that.

LYDIE But I’m not gay or anything.

VIOLET Right. Uh huh.

LYDIE I’m serious! You’re the first girl I’ve ever had any kind of feelings for.

VIOLET Are you sure?

LYDIE Whatever. Shut up.

Beat

LYDIE What do I do?

VIOLET That’s your decision.

LYDIE Leave him?

VIOLET Maybe.

LYDIE Move in with you? Be your girlfriend or something?

VIOLET That you can’t do.

LYDIE Oh.

VIOLET Sorry. You know me. I don’t do that stuff.

LYDIE You could, though, if you met the right person.

VIOLET Sure. If I found the right person.

LYDIE (Hurt) Oh.

VIOLET But leaving him. That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. You’re not happy.

LYDIE It’s not that easy.

VIOLET Easier than marrying him.

LYDIE Maybe.

VIOLET He’s not gonna make you happy.

LYDIE kisses Violet’s wrist.

LYDIE You make me happy.

VIOLET So will a lot of people. And you and I can still...

LYDIE We can?

VIOLET Yes. Whenever you want it.

LYDIE Okay.

VIOLET Okay.

Beat

LYDIE Now?

VIOLET climbs on top of LYDIE and begins kissing her as the lights fade to black.

Lights up. YOUNG MAN sits, drinking from a clear bottle in a bedroom. He holds a video camera. LYDIE enters, looking frazzled. Thumping dance music can be heard distantly.

LYDIE Shit. Sorry. It wasn’t locked... YOUNG MAN (Friendly, inviting) Heyyyy, lady.

LYDIE Oh. Hi. Hey.

YOUNG MAN Lydia, right?

LYDIE Lydie. Lydia. Yeah.

YOUNG MAN You’re in my Russian Lit class.

LYDIE Um, yes.

YOUNG MAN Yeah. Yeah. He offers the bottle to her. Do you drink?

LYDIE No.

YOUNG MAN Try this.

She takes it, drinks. Winces.

LYDIE Wow.

YOUNG MAN Hi. I’m drunk.

LYDIE (Laughing) I could have guessed.

YOUNG MAN (Fiddling with his camera) Can I film you? LYDIE Why?

YOUNG MAN Points to himself. Film major. I gotta gather some b­roll. I won’t use anything you don’t want.

LYDIE I guess so.

He turns the camera on and begins capturing her from different angles. She is amused, and continues drinking from the bottle. She poses for him, joking around. He laughs.

YOUNG MAN Why aren’t you out there?

LYDIE Where?

YOUNG MAN Out there. At the party.

LYDIE Oh. I honestly can’t stand parties.

YOUNG MAN Oh.

Beat

Well then, why are you here?

LYDIE I...a friend of mine is here tonight. I wanted to meet up. With her. But she’s kind of...occupied.

YOUNG MAN Occupied.

LYDIE She’s fucking some girl in the bathroom.

YOUNG MAN Shit!

LYDIE Yeah. Shit.

YOUNG MAN You seem upset about that.

LYDIE A little.

YOUNG MAN Why?

LYDIE I don’t even know why I’m telling you­­

YOUNG MAN Do you wish it was you?

LYDIE Me?

YOUNG MAN Getting fucked in the bathroom?

LYDIE No.

Beat

I don’t know.

Beat

It used to be me.

YOUNG MAN Aha...

LYDIE I don’t know. It’s messed up. I follow her around and shit. Pathetic, really.

YOUNG MAN Is this girl hot?

LYDIE Ridiculously.

YOUNG MAN Then I understand. He sits on the bed and motions for her to join him. She does. Hot chicks, dude. They’ll make you do anything. The stupidest shit, I mean. Fuck up your whole life.

LYDIE Yeah.

YOUNG MAN But you know what they say. Sadness flies away on the wings of vodka.

LYDIE Ha.

YOUNG MAN That was Jean de la Fontaine, I believe.

LYDIE Really.

YOUNG MAN You’re really tossing it down.

LYDIE I’m sorry.

YOUNG MAN Don’t be. Have it all. This is good material.

LYDIE I don’t wanna drink all your stuff.

YOUNG MAN Do it. I have more.

LYDIE Thank you. She drinks more.

YOUNG MAN You should maybe slow down though.

LYDIE Mmhmm. She offers the bottle to him and he waves it away.

YOUNG MAN So you do chicks, then?

LYDIE Well...I didn’t. Before.

YOUNG MAN Wait a minute. Oh, shit! You’re August’s girl!

LYDIE You know him?

YOUNG MAN Roommate of a buddy of mine. We smoke sometimes. Damn, that kid was pussywhipped for you.

LYDIE Ugh.

YOUNG MAN But y’all aren’t together anymore, right? Shit, weren’t you gonna get married?

LYDIE Yeah.

YOUNG MAN Well, what happened? He pieces it together. Oh, fuck, was it something with that girl?

LYDIE Yeah. Yes, it was. But I mean, it wasn’t just that. It was just...we weren’t right for each other. I’m attracted to power, y’know? And he’s...

YOUNG MAN A little bitch?

LYDIE Basically.

YOUNG MAN Well, shit, though. I’m sorry.

LYDIE Not your fault.

Beat

YOUNG MAN So you like assertive men, huh?

LYDIE You ask a lot of questions.

YOUNG MAN Maybe I’d stop if you stopped answering them.

He captures her from more angles. She is having difficulty holding her head up.

LYDIE I feel dizzy.

YOUNG MAN You’re really wasted.

LYDIE (Giggling manically) You are!

YOUNG MAN You wanna dance? LYDIE Dance?

YOUNG MAN He pulls her up. With me. Dance with me.

LYDIE I only know how to waltz.

YOUNG MAN We’ll waltz!

He sweeps her off her feet and they begin waltzing. She is clumsy, dizzy, but he really knows what he’s doing. She is giggling.

LYDIE There’s no music!

YOUNG MAN I’ll sing.

He sings.

Pussycat, pussycat, I’ve got flowers and lots of hours to spend with you, so go and powder your cute little pussycat nose…

LYDIE Oh, this song! They both laugh, waltzing around the room.

YOUNG MAN Pussycat, pussycat, I love you! Yes, I do! You, and your pussycat nose.

He touches his nose to hers playfully and they laugh more. He dips her. Spins her. Tosses her around like she’s nothing more than a doll. She is laughing hysterically.

YOUNG MAN What’s new, Pussycat? Whoa­ooh­oh­ooh­oh­oh! What’s new, Pussycat?

YOUNG MAN and LYDIE Whoa­ooh­oh­ooh­oh­whoa­oh! As they sing, he spins her around again and again. She is squealing. He finally tosses her down on the bed.

LYDIE So...dizzy...

YOUNG MAN You...and your pussycat nose…

He gets on top of her and kisses her. She giggles and pushes him away.

LYDIE No, no, no…

YOUNG MAN Why not?

LYDIE I can’t...I can’t see right, I can’t think.

YOUNG MAN Singing as he tries to kiss her. She keeps squirming. Pussycat, pussycat, you’re delicious and if my wishes could all come true… He pulls her shirt up and begins kissing her belly.

LYDIE Cut it out!

YOUNG MAN Aw, pussycat, you don’t mean it.

LYDIE She is almost incoherant. Please no. Stop...stop

YOUNG MAN Come on, let’s have fun.

LYDIE Stop.

He continues to kiss her. She tries to push him away but he continues, pushing her hands away.

YOUNG MAN Just calm down, okay?

LYDIE No...no...

YOUNG MAN Hey.

LYDIE Stop...

YOUNG MAN C’mon.

LYDIE Can’t...we can’t…

She is fervent but also very, very sleepy. Her eyes begin to close. Her head tips backwards. He watches this. He picks her up and throws her sideways on the bed. She lays there, eyes closed, arms sprawled out, motionless. He climbs on top of her. He takes his video camera and aims it at her face. Begins whistling “What’s New Pussycat?” as he undoes her jeans. The lights fade out to black, the same song begins very quietly but once the lights have faded to black, it is so loud it is nearly deafening.

Lights up a full minute later. LYDIE stands alone, on the side of the stage. She wears a hospital gown, holds a cup of water. She no longer feels any pain. She is tranquil, resigned. A single spotlight is on her. The backdrop of women is completely gone. She stands, blank­faced. She addresses an unseen therapist.

LYDIE That’s all I can remember, I guess. The waltzing, that song, the video­tape, the shape of his eyes. Little details like that, they don’t really matter. The stuff after that I was blacked out for and I guess I’m glad that I was. I heard some noises, I think, weird­sounding, like maybe I was underwater. I don’t know.

She pauses. Drinks from her cup.

Thank you for the water, by the way. I appreciate that.

Pauses, listening.

I know it’s your job, but...you’re so kind. You’ve been kind to me.

She smiles warmly. Takes a sip from her cup.

Definitely the best doctor I’ve had. The others are nice, but...formal. I like that you let me tell my story, the real story, not just the facts. That you’ve been patient. Patient with this patient.

She laughs at her own joke.

I am happy here. Yes. After I was admitted...I don’t know. I feel safe. Things are clean. Quiet. The pool is good. And I’ve made friends with the nurses.

Beat

No, no, I really don’t remember much else.

She stands, thinking for a moment.

There was something. Not important, but...something odd. Afterwards. I woke up. Dizzy. Room spinning and all. He was still there, but getting ready to leave. Putting on his clothes. And he was just as friendly and warm and charming as before. I thought that was strange. He smiled at me, like I was an old friend, and sat down beside me on the bed and started telling me this joke. It felt more like a story, but...he said it was a joke, so...I don’t know. I remember it. It was...it was…

She closes her eyes for a moment, thinking. Opens them again.

It was this thirteen­year­old girl, she was thirteen and she was beautiful, pure face, pure thoughts, long blonde braids. She was the daughter of a preacher. She loved her father, and she loved Jesus, and she was pure and virtuous and never even thought about sinning. She had never been touched by a man. Not once. And every night, she prayed for God to bless her and her father, and to keep her chaste and good for her entire life. She loved only her father and Jesus Christ, and she wanted to keep it that way. And so, one day, she’s sleeping in her bed and a seraph comes in through her window, beautiful, made of light, enormous wings, and the seraph touches her face and whispers that she has been blessed by God to carry the next incarnation of Jesus Christ. The son of God. And the girl was so happy she cried. She couldn’t believe she had been so blessed. And in the morning, she ran to her father and she told him she was pregnant, that she was carrying the son of God, and how blessed they both were that she had been touched by this seraph. And the father took it the wrong way. He thought she had been impure. So he beat her, hard...for an hour. Calling her slut. Finally he pushed her down the stairs. She tumbled down, down, down, crying, and she landed on her stomach, and her baby, the son of God, he miscarried onto the floor. And the girl lay there, looking at Him, covered in blood, no bigger than a strawberry, quivering, cold, premature. She knew that they would both die, and she wept, blaming herself for killing the Lord. But then the most amazing thing happened. This tiny Lord’s eyes opened. They were bright blue eyes, blue and clear as water, and they looked right at her. The Lord smiled at her. She reached out, weeping and dying but with her heart still full of light and hope and purity. She reached out to him and he touched her, his hand, miniscule and covered in blood but beautiful. And he opened his mouth. And he spoke to her, in a voice belonging not to a man or an animal but something else entirely, something like the Heavens breaking open and washing down on her...her little son...he touched her and...he said…

She parts her lips, pausing.

“Clumsy Cunt.”

She is silent for a long moment. Breathing. Her face void of emotion.

And then she died.

She pauses again.

After he told me that, he laughed. And then he left.

She pauses again.

But...still...I am happy. To be here. And I am happy to have this child.

She puts her hands on her belly. The song “Ave Maria” begins to play softly.

He will be different. I know he will. Different than them. Different than men. He’s going to change everything. Things are going to change. He...he is a beginning for us. For all of us.

She is smiling. She really believes what she is saying. The lights around her blur, creating a halo of light, before they darken and go out. Ave Maria plays to the finish.