ACT ONE Lights up. LYDIE stands on one side of the stage, in a hospital gown. She is lit in a spotlight. The rest of the stage is darkened. LYDIE If we’re being honest, I’m a little nervous. I’ve never really...done this before. Beat. She listens to an unseen doctor. I don’t really know who I was talking to about things...nobody, I guess. My parents were...it wasn’t easy to talk to them about it. I had some friends, but...sort of the same deal. I don’t think I was fair to them though. I didn’t...I don’t...really know how to connect to people. Like that. Without...physical stuff. Yikes. Doesn’t make me sound very good. But, it’s true, my parents were, well, they’re good. They just don’t seem to get the whole two­ended conversation thing. Especially when I was little. I was...very...curious. The rest of the stage lights go up. LYDIE rips off her hospital gown, revealing a childish white dress. She turns into her young self. The entire back wall is covered in pictures of half­naked women and pin­up models. She dances, in an imitation­sexy way, to “Oops, I Did It Again”, in a large mirror. Occasionally she will pull up her skirt and stare at herself, discovering her own body. She poses and postures, makes faces, fusses with her body. Her movements are awkward and immature. It should be very amusing. MOTHER and FATHER enter from opposite sides of the stage and are each lit on their respective sides. They stand facing the audience. MOTHER Let’s have a talk, Lydia. LYDIE shrieks and turns abruptly, pulling her dress back down. FATHER Lydie, I want to tell you about the birds and the bees. LYDIE Okay. FATHER Do you know what's down there under your underpants, honey? That's your vagina. It's what makes you a girl. MOTHER In a few years, you are going to start bleeding from your vagina. That's called a period. It's what makes you a woman. LYDIE opens her mouth to speak but her father interrupts her. FATHER When you get married to a nice man, you and your husband are going to want to do something where you take off your clothes and touch each other. MOTHER Once you get your period, you're going to be able to become pregnant. FATHER The penis, which is my part, goes into the vagina, which is your part. That's one of the ways people show that they love each other. LYDIE starts to ask a question but her mother interrupts her. MOTHER It's not okay to have sex unless you want to get pregnant. Unless you want to have a baby. So you have to make sure that you really love that person. If you have sex with a person you don't love, that's bad. FATHER Putting a penis in your vagina can feel really good, but it's important to make sure you know how serious doing that is, too. MOTHER Wait until you know for sure. LYDIE How do I know? MOTHER and FATHER You'll know. FATHER Do you understand all that? MOTHER Does that make any sense to you? LYDIE Yes. MOTHER and FATHER Good. MOTHER and FATHER exit. KIRA enters. She is an eight­year­old girl. The two each lie on a bed, reading Highlights. LYDIE Kira, which do you think is more important, sex or love? KIRA Love. That's always more important. LYDIE Maybe... KIRA Haven't you seen the movies? People fall in love, then they kiss, then they have sex and then they get married. They just can't wait that long. LYDIE Why can't they? KIRA Because sex is the best thing in the world! Didn't you know that? LYDIE No! KIRA It is! I've seen people on TV, they scream and make noises and it looks like it's bad but at the end they're all happy and they say "Yes yes yes" during it so you know it feels good. LYDIE Well, what does it feel like? KIRA I don't know. Maybe like being tickled. Because it's good and it's bad at the same time. LYDIE That does sound good. KIRA But we’re way too young for it still. LYDIE We are? KIRA Uh­huh. Good girls wait ‘til they’re adults. That’s what my mom says. LYDIE Oh. Okay. KIRA exits. MCBAIN enters. He stands at a desk, addressing the audience. LYDIE sits on a stool watching him. MCBAIN Sexual intercourse is not only an act of love, but a biological process. When a man ejaculates, tiny sperm exit his testicular glands and swim through the woman's ovaries. The first sperm to reach the woman's egg is what will begin to make the baby. LYDIE brings her stool in front of MCBAIN’s desk MCBAIN Lydia, I've noticed you've been having some problems with this unit. Do you feel uncomfortable at all? LYDIE Well, I don't know. I guess I'm just kind of confused. MCBAIN Confused about what? LYDIE Well, my parents told me that sex and love are…like, connected, you know? That you can't have one without the other. But, the way you describe it sounds so…clinical. I just don't know how such an exact science could be reliant on such an abstract concept. MCBAIN Well, Lydia, that's part of what makes it so beautiful. Loving somebody with your whole heart becomes so overpowering that you have to love somebody with your whole body as well. And that link to biology and the metaphysical? It makes it such an intricate, such a meaningful art. Sex is truly one of the world's greatest mysteries, which is why so many people find it so fascinating. Are you fascinated by sex, Lydia? LYDIE Yeah... I think so. MCBAIN I'm not surprised. You're at that age now. You've had your period? LYDIE Uh huh. MCBAIN Things can get confusing for girls your age during that time. I want you to know that you're always welcome to come to me with questions. He exits. KIRA enters again and they resume their positions from before on the beds, but now they hold issues of Tiger Beat. KIRA So he just tells you all this stuff? LYDIE Yeah. KIRA All about penises and vaginas. LYDIE Everything. Stuff he'd get in trouble for saying in class. KIRA Hot. LYDIE What? No, cut it out. KIRA He's handsome, for an older guy. LYDIE No he isn't. KIRA He is! Is he married? LYDIE I don't know. KIRA Yes, you do. LYDIE He isn't. He was but he isn't now. KIRA He got divorced? LYDIE Yeah. KIRA Does he tell you about her? LYDIE What about her? KIRA Sex with her. LYDIE Seriously? KIRA Yeah! LYDIE Only a little bit. KIRA What's it like? LYDIE I dunno. It's interesting I guess. He's really young. KIRA For a teacher. LYDIE He's kinda cute, too. KIRA You said he wasn't. LYDIE Well, he is. KIRA Maybe he likes you. LYDIE That's gross. KIRA Maybe he does. LYDIE Gross! KIRA But maybe he does! LYDIE Okay, maybe he does! KIRA Wait, really? LYDIE Yes. No. I don't know. KIRA That's gross. LYDIE You're gross! KIRA So what are you gonna do? LYDIE I don't know. KIRA It's illegal to date him. LYDIE It is? KIRA He's too old! LYDIE He's not old. KIRA So are you going to have sex with him? LYDIE No. That's wrong. I don't love him. KIRA Last night I heard my big brother and his girlfriend having sex and I asked him if he loved her and he said no, he just loved parts of her. LYDIE What does that mean? KIRA I don't know. LYDIE Is it okay to have sex with someone if you just love parts of them? KIRA Maybe. KIRA exits and MCBAIN enters. He and LYDIE resume their previous positions, although this time MCBAIN sits on another stool. MCBAIN To what do I owe the pleasure today, Lydia? LYDIE I just wanted to talk to you some more. About sex and stuff. MCBAIN Of course. That's what I'm here for. LYDIE What do you do if you want to have sex with somebody, but you don't know if you love them? MCBAIN Well, I think your parents might have misinformed you a little bit, Lydie. He takes off his glasses and begins to clean them. When a person reaches a certain age, they gain a level of maturity which allows them to perform intercourse without being in love with the person. Some people just consider sex to be a recreational activity. It's certainly enjoyable in the right circumstances, and sometimes it's enough to just gain equal pleasure from your partner without forming deeper relationships. Sex is a very pleasurable activity, Lydia. I take great pleasure in it, at least. And while I believe it's important to put a great deal of thought into it before you perform intercourse with a person, it is my strong belief that there is no great harm in casual sex every once in awhile.