THE RErRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES April20, 1999 PAGE27

20th Century Fox. Movies Oral Report: As an undercover reporter Barrymore's looking for the scoop in a Chicago high School, Drew Candy Kissed Barrymore charms in Never Been Kissed. Light Comedy Makes Leelee Sobieski, right, plays a fellow Good on Star Power student.

JAMIE PECK Times co-worker. They Retriever Weekly Staff Writer exist to prod the story along (sometimes plausi­ What kind of movie combines a prepos­ bly, sometimes not), terous premise with improbable casting, con­ which includes Josie's fusing character treatment and an overdose potential - and poten­ of gloppy sentimentality? In the case of Never tially reciprocated- at­ Been Kissed(*** out of four), a thoroughly traction to a handsome, charming one. It's rare when a film coasts on young English teacher pure star power alone, but this lightweight if (Michael Vartan). Since extremely pleasant romantic fantasy is down­ she's working under the right unthinkable without the talents of to­ guise of a 17-year-old, ta11y game lead Drew Barrymore. Her per­ this subplot sounds full fectly sunny performance elevates what could of the Mary Kay have been grade-C schmaltz into quite the LeTorneau heebie­ springtime charmer. Only gruff cranks will jeebies, but pulling it off leave the theatre unsatisfied - at least with is Barrymore and Barrymore. Vartan 's welcome She plays Josie Gellar, an ambitious, mid- subtlety in some surpris­ 20s copy editor at The Chicago Sun-Tzmes dubbed "Josie Grossie" by cruel classmates ending are the occasiona11y iffy relationships ingly tender scenes. who suffers from the titular lack of passion and made the victim of a vicious prank - Barrymore has with some of her co-stars. As The big prom finale has been seen before in her too-rigid life, let alone a nerdy facade, and here she is out of her element again, try­ a new student, Josie becomes friends with a in every recent bit of teen-oriented fare (from stuffy wardrobe and unflattering hair-don't ing her darndest to make friends with the in­ math-clobber (Helen Hunt lookalike Leelee She's All Thatto 10 Things I Hate About You that keeps Barrymore's spunky sexuality suc­ crowd. They. of course, reject Josie at first, Sobieski) also spumed by the hip kids, but - take your pick), and Never Been Kissed cessfully under wraps. Fate tosses her a sec­ only to later embrace her following some she disappears for a long while following an assuredly follows suit. This time, though, the ond chance when her grumpy superior (Garry story twists best described as unlikely. But odd bonding sequence that moves all too formula doesn't feel old because of an inter­ Marshall) orders her to enro11 undercover at so what if practically nothing in this movie quickly from tears to giggles. And when Josie esting literary couples theme- bonus points the local high school to find the story -any rings true? Barrymore, in a role that definitely finally clicks with an ambiguously written for Josie's smashing Renaissance costume story. Exactly how this is done is never re­ goes against type (come on, who wouldn't trio of Miss Popularities and one Mr. Cool, and the visual references to Raoul Duke and vealed, and it would be a major enjoyment want to be her buddy-or more?), performs Kissed can't decide if it wants to hiss or laugh Dr. Gonzo references - and a treacly mo­ roadblock had Never Been Kissed already with such conviction that even the biggest at them. ment-of-truth that actually works. The related made us so eager to watch Barrymore's ugly leaps in logic are pretty irrelevant. Better luck is had with supporting actors monologue is delivered by Barrymore's Josie, duckling become a swan. Also u1timately mattering little by the time David Arquette, as Josie's underachieving of course, and her emotional strength make Flashbacks confirm Josie's past nightmar­ Never Been Kissed arrives at its grandly brother, and Saturday Night Live ace­ this preachiness, this person and this movie ish educational experience- where she was melodramatic - yet wholly satisfying- pratfaller Molly Shannon, as an oversexed utterly embraceable. Double Your Displeasure in Twin Dragons Thanks to you, all sorts of everyday VICTORY MARASIGAN products are being made from the Retriever Weekly Staff Writer paper. plastic. metal and glass that you've been recycling. kicks his way into Van Darnme territory with Twin Dragons (*), an embar­ But to keep recycling working to rassingly bland action comedy of mistaken help protect the environment you identity. Chan plays separated-at-births need to buy those products. Boomer and John Ma, whose drastically dif­ ferent paths ... Aw, forget the plot description; it's not even BUY RECYCLED. worth the space. But let's face it. No one goes to Jackie Chan movies for the plot anyway. The Scenes Where Nothing Happens in Chan's films have always been little more than glue thriftily spread to hold the action sequences together. In the case of Twin Drag­ ons, however, the tiresome story-driving scenes fritter away so much of the movie that you almost want to shout (at the risk of de­ meaning the artistic value of cinema), "Get to the good part already!" t Most of the film is devoted to showing the brothers' efforts to hide the other's existence AND SAVE.~ I Dimension Films I from their own acquaintances. Why it is nec­ Replacement Killer: Jackie Chan and Maggi~ Cheung raise hell in Twin Dragons, So look for and buy products made essary to do this is not satisfactorily ex­ a dubbed. re-edited version of Chan's 1992 feature Shuang Long Hui. plained, but neither are a lot of aspects of the from recy(;led materials. And don't for­ plot. The twins' love interests, demure In several shots, in fact, even the make-up film'sjewel, a tour de force display of Chan's get to celebrate America Recydes Day club-singer Barbara (Chan-film regular and hair people seem to forget which brother agility and grace. Never mind that it's not on November lSth ) and lusty bride-hopeful is which. Even Chan's so-corny-you-laugh clear how the brothers end up fighting suited 11 would mean the world to us, For a Tammy (Nina Li Chi), get disoriented in all humor is off-kilter in this outing. Some of bad guys inside an automobile crash-testing free brochure. calll-800-CALL~EDFor the confusion, yet strangely seem not to mind the gags are so carefully innocuous they're facility. It's all good fun, but too little too late. that they are not sure which brother they are annoying. A typical example: Whenever any­ Perhaps Chan's next movie should just be a Visit our w£b site at www.edtorg in love with. one sees the brothers together, they fall to collection of the final fight sequences of all The scenes describing the boys' bumbling the ground in a dead faint. Are we laughing of his movies. They could call it Jackie antics get stretched so thin we stop caring yet? Chan's Final Fight Sequences, and every­ ~~~~Elf ~ who Chan is supposed to be in any given shot. As usual, the climactic showdown is the body in the audience would go home happy. .,...... "•'•'••· ..... ~~·))