Contents Vol. 28, No. 8

True Freedom 4 Following Amma 9 Swami Amritageetananda Puri Mental Equipoise 15 Br. Vivekamrita Chaitanya, India Are We Gopis in the Making? 21 Br. Chandrasekhar, India Clinging to Her for Life 26 Aparna V.K., India The Gift of Byse 31 Resya Reghu, India Lilas Around Amma 35

Govardhana-giridhari 39 Rajani Menon, India

Some articles use the masculine pronoun when referring to God, in keeping with convention and to avoid the clumsiness of constructions such as ‘He or She’ or ‘Him or Her.’

Printed and Published by Swami Jnanamritananda Puri on behalf of M.A. Mission Trust, Amritapuri P.O., Kollam, Kerala 690 546, India. Printed at Amrita Offset Printers, Amritapuri P.O., Kollam, Kerala 690 546, India. Published at M.A. Math, Amritapuri P.O., Kollam, Kerala 690 546, India. Phone: (0476) 289 6278/7578/6399. Matruvani Office Phone: 08589003341 | Editor: Br. Brahmamrita Chaitanya Subscription (Indian): 1 year: `50 | 3 years: `125 | 5 years: `200 | 15 years: `500 Subscription (overseas): 1 year: US$15 | Life (15 years): US$150 Letters and Submissions: [email protected] March 2017 3 AMMA’S MESSAGE

True Freedom

Question: Amma has been travelling throughout India and countries abroad for many years. During this period, what changes have taken place in Europe and the USA? Amma: Children, Amma does not distinguish between India, America and Europe. The children here and the children there are all my children. However, there are cultural differences between the people in India and those in the West. The natural environment, financial state and emotional maturity shape the culture of people. One could say that there are differences at this level. Vehicles in India keep to the left, whereas those in the US keep to the right. There are cultural differences like these, too. However, the nature of love and peace is the same everywhere. Political boundaries cannot change it. The milk of cows — whether in India, the US or Europe — is white. The nature of fire is the same, whether in the East or the West. Honey is sweet, wherever it may be. The experience of peace is also the same everywhere. Lan- guage, creed or caste can never stand in the way of expe- riencing love and peace. These alone bind Amma to her children, no matter where she goes. Amma only looks at that. March 2017 5 In the light of the experi- They are leaving material ence gained over the years, life and turning towards spir- Amma would say that the ituality. Westerners have start- spiritual thirst of people in ed learning about and assimi- Europe and the US has in- lating Indian culture. In con- creased. The people there trast, Indians have become have all kinds of freedom. more steeped in materialism Dark skin can be lightened. and ever more eager to imitate Light skin can be tanned. A Westerners. We swallow what woman can become a man and Westerners have spat out, con- vice versa. Wrinkles caused sidering it great, whereas they by ageing can be smoothed have rejected materialism, re- out surgically. One could dye alizing that one can never find part of one’s hair blue, an- contentment through it. We other part yellow, and yet pay scant regard to eternal another, red. In fact, one can values, whereas they long to dye one’s hair in any colour. A integrate those precious values woman can marry another into their lives. woman, and a man, another Westerners try to under- man. One can migrate from stand what they are told. The city to city. One can wear children here (in India) are clothes any way one likes. But intelligent but find it difficult despite all these liberties, they to accept something even when still suffer and feel disillu- they have become aware of its sioned. From this, they under- truth. (Amma is not saying stood that true freedom is not that everyone here is like that.) outer but inner freedom; that Westerners aren’t like that. it is to be discovered within Once they have realized the oneself. This inspires them to truth of something, they accept turn within, transforming it without hesitation. One them into spiritual enthusiasts. could say that this attitude is

6 Matruvani Dark skin can be lightened and vice versa. A woman can become a man and vice versa. A woman can marry another woman, and a man, another man. Wrinkles caused by ageing can be smoothed out surgically. One can migrate. One can wear clothes any way one likes. But despite all these liberties, people still suffer. From this, they understood that true freedom is not outer but inner freedom. one reason behind their mate- and then they stand firm in rial progress. their faith. But our lifestyle is India’s real asset is her cul- just the opposite. A child sees ture. However, people here his father doing the ritual walk are not making any effort to around the shrine. He holds understand it. They don’t his father’s hand and accompa- delve deep enough. Their faith nies him on the circumambula- is confined to the temple and tion. When the son grows up, can barely withstand the on- he trains his son to do the same slaughts of others’ words. thing. However, they don’t Their faith does not take deep think about why they are doing root. Therefore, people here it or of the benefits of doing so. must be prepared to learn We have reached a situation in about the scientific basis of which, to learn about Indian our culture. culture, we have to read books Westerners believe some- that Westerners have written. thing after they have studied it,

March 2017 7 Amma in Malaysia, Singapore & Australia

April 3: Penang, Malaysia (evening public program) Setia Spice Arena, Bayan Baru, 11900 Bayan Lepas, Pulau Pinang

April 6 – 8: Singapore Marina Bay Sands, Expo & Convention Centre, Hall E, Basement 2, 10 Bay- front Avenue, S018956

April 11 – 15: Melbourne, Australia Ladbrokes Park (Sandown), 591-659 Princes Hwy, Springvale VIC 3171 Public Programs April 11: 11 a.m. – 5 p.m.; April 12: 10 a.m. & 7:30 p.m. Retreat April 13 – 15 (by pre-registration only) Devi Bhava April 15: 7 p.m.

April 17 – 18: Sydney, Australia Sydney Boys High School, Cleveland St, Moore Park, NSW 2021 Public Programs April 17: 10 a.m. & 7:30 p.m. April 18: 10 a.m. & 7 pm (Devi Bhava)

April 20: Brisbane, Australia Croatian Community Centre, 164 Dunn Rd, Rocklea, Brisbane QLD 4106 Public Programs April 20: 10 a.m. & 7.30pm

April 21 – 23: Gold Coast, Australia Gold Coast Recreation Centre, 1525 Gold Coast Hwy, Palm Beach QLD 4221 Retreat April 21 – 23 (by pre-registration only) Public Program April 23: 7 p.m. (Devi Bhava)

8 Matruvani SATSANG

Following Amma by swami amritageetananda puri

aster Gudo was the spiritual teacher of a Japanese Memperor. Very simple by nature, Gudo used to go from place to place, visiting temples and monasteries. One rainy evening, his sandals tore, and so, he went to the house of a cobbler. The cobbler was away, but his wife welcomed Gudo, gave him a new pair of sandals, some food and a place to stay for the night. Within a short time, Gudo realized that the cobbler’s family was not happy. The cobbler’s wife and her mother told him

March 2017 9 that the cobbler drank too much, Master agreed. Together, they and would fight with them and started the journey back to even turn violent when he re- Gudo’s monastery. After they turned home. Gudo asked them had covered a few kilometres, for a dish of fish and meat and Gudo asked the cobbler to re- a bottle of wine, and then asked turn. The cobbler said, “Please them to go to sleep. let me accompany you a while After midnight, the cobbler longer.” This happened again came home fully drunk. He and again. The cobbler never started bellowing for food. turned back. He followed the Gudo calmly told him, “Here Master to his monastery and is the food and drink your wife became one of his greatest kept for you. Please have it and disciples. Japanese Zen mas- go to sleep.” The surprised cob- ters say that, among the many bler did as he was told and lineages of Zen masters, one of went to sleep. the best is the lineage of Mu- When he woke up in the nan, the man who never turned morning, he was sober. He back! apologized to Gudo for his If we really want to follow rude behaviour. The Master Amma, let us follow the exam- then advised him not to waste ple of Munan. Let us never his life in sensual indulgence, turn back, but turn our backs but to seek permanent peace on the ignorant and irrespon- and joy within. Chastened, the sible ways in which we lived cobbler fell at Gudo’s feet and and wasted our life before thanked him for showing him coming to Amma. the right way. There is another practice When Gudo was leaving, mentioned in the scriptures for the cobbler said, “Please let me seekers of the eternal life. It is walk with you for some dis- called ‘simha avalokana tance. I’ll carry your bag.” The nyaya’ — ‘looking back to leap

10 Matruvani ahead.’ This maxim is inspired past was, we will never want by the lion’s habit of walking to turn back! Lines from a some distance, stopping, turn- bhajan come to mind: ing back and then continuing poya kaalam to walk. Similarly, from time swapnatulyamaayi poyi to time, spiritual seekers must innu jeevitam ninnil take stock of whether they samarpippu jnaan have been doing their spiritual Bygone days seem like a practices sincerely and follow- dream today. I surrender ing Amma’s teachings. To fol- my life to You, O Mother! low Amma is to follow Her teachings. She says that an There was a prince who never aspirant must be like a busi- wore any clothes; he was in the nessman who checks his bal- highest state of God-conscious- ance sheets daily, weekly, ness, but his father, the king, monthly and yearly. Similarly, the royal family and the courti- we must check if we have been ers thought he was mad. One regular in our archana, seva, day, a great saint entered the chanting of our mantra, and palace. The prince ran inside, meditation, and reflect on put on some clothes and came whether we have remained out. Everyone was surprised calm and peaceful in difficult and asked him why he had times and trying situations. In done so. The prince said, “To- other words, we must ask our- day, a living man entered our selves if our sadhana (spiritual palace. Until now, I have seen practices) has helped us gain only corpses — walking dead inner strength, mental purity bodies — around me!” His and compassion. words indicate that one who This is looking back, not turn- has attained God-conscious- ing back. When we see how ness alone is really alive; all hollow and meaningless our others are dead to the spirit.

March 2017 11 Many have likened meeting oru dinam atu vazhi alay- Amma to getting a new lease umbol enneya prabhaamayi of life. When we look back on maadivilichu the time we have spent with tiru nada turannamma Amma, the divine memories of kalabham eduttente neru- priceless moments in Her pres- kayyil aniyichu... ence flood our mind. We fond- One day when I was wan- ly remember how She held our dering along that path, hands and helped us as we that Radiant One beck- toddled the spiritual path, how oned me. Opening the sa- She taught us to smile and sing cred door and taking some from the heart, and how She holy ash, She smeared it on helped us remember Her in my forehead… every action. etrayo nootana adhyaayangal Sometimes, when we sing enteyi mugdha jeevanil ni these lines, overwhelming de- ezhuti cherttu… votion chokes our voices and O Mother, You have we are unable to sing any fur- added so many beautiful ther. Another such memorable chapters to my book of line comes from ‘Azhikkullil:’ life! verpaadin vedana ullil otukki teenaalamayi eriyunnu… en In looking back, one is not manam… turning back. The sweet mem- Like a flame, my mind is ories of time spent with Amma burning me in separation are like a strong wind that from You… helps us move ahead and lifts us to great spiritual heights! And then there are the memo- In fact, quite a few of the ries that haunt us and pull us ashram bhajans are expres- back into the past, forcing us sions of such divine nostalgia. to turn back. In Sanskrit and

12 Matruvani other Indian languages, the sacrificial pit; our devotion to word for ‘past’ is ‘bhoota,’ which Amma, the ghee, which is fuel also means ‘demon.’ The only for the fire; our mantra, the demon that haunts is the past. oblation offered into the sacri- The following mantra ap- ficial pit; the archana we do, pears in the Devi Mahatmyam like the chamatas (wood used or Chandi Paath: in the fire ritual) we add; and om jaya tvam devi caamunde meditation, the fan we use to jaya bhoota apahaarini… keep the fire burning. In this O Devi Chaamundi, the way, all our karmic burdens, ever victorious one, who obstacles and worries are destroys all the demons… burnt away. Thus, Amma is a Guru, who... Remembering Amma helps one aneka janma sampraapta overcome all undesirable mem- karma bandha vidahine ories. The mantra that Amma …reduces to ash the bonds has given us helps us to be of karma accumulated introspective, and to analyse over countless lifetimes. and ‘save’ what can help us in our sadhana; it also ‘deletes’ When a disciple asks the Guru those images, files and folders what She wants from him, the in our mind that constantly Guru says, “Nothing,” for She disturb it and hinder our spir- enjoys the highest experience itual progress. The mantra that of “I Am Brahman,” that “I Amma gives us is all powerful; alone am everything.” When it will not allow any ‘virus’ to one asks the disciple what he enter our mind. wants from his Guru, he, too, The one moment we spend says, “Nothing. My Guru is in Amma’s arms is a spark of everything for me.” divine fire. Our thoughts are Ask the Guru what She the firewood; our mind, the wishes to give Her disciple,

March 2017 13 and She replies, “The revela- and on the screens of desktops, tion that he is everything.” Ask laptops and mobile phones. In the disciple what he wishes to addition, Amma’s ashrams, give his Guru, and the disciple institutions, Brahmasthanam replies, “The faith that my temples and satsangs continu- Guru will reveal to me the ously invoke Her memory and supreme truth at the right teachings. time.” Every morning, let us gaze Amma has millions of fol- at Her photo and wholeheart- lowers all over the world. They edly pray, “Amma, let this remember Her in various ways. day’s work be my puja, my They gaze at Her photo in their offering, to you. Bless me, puja rooms, on tables and walls, Amma.”

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14 Matruvani MEDITATION

Mental Equipoise

by br. vivekamrita chaitanya, india

editation, Amma always asserts, is as precious Mas gold. The comparison is predicated on the fact that as the value of gold is universally accepted, it can be used for business transactions anywhere in the world. In contrast to gold, the currency of a particular nation is valuable only in that land, and its purchasing power is limited to that specific region. It can be used in another country only after exchang- ing it with the currency of that country. Meditation is of immense value to the material and spiritual growth of all human beings, irrespective of

March 2017 15 their nationality, creed, colour, different aromas. However, age or sex. It is a priceless gift real meditation has nothing to that the great rishis1 of India with all these. bequeathed to humanity. To- The experience of Dr. Pad- day, more and more people manabhan, a homoeopathy from different parts of the practitioner in Calicut, is world are devoutly exploring worth recounting here. When the intricacies of meditation in he was studying for the a bid to enjoy true inner peace. DHMS (Diploma in Homoe- A word of caution, I think, opathic Medicine and Sur- is not out of place here. There gery) in Kottayam, Kerala, he is a real danger now of this heard about a guru who was invaluable science of medita- initiating seekers into spiritu- tion falling into the hands of al practices. He approached unscrupulous people, who the guru along with a friend commercialize it and, in their of his, and both were initiated greed for money and fame, into a spiritual practice. After propagate distorted ideas this, they heard about Amma, about meditation. For exam- and lost no time in going to ple, they hoodwink the gulli- Vallikavu to have Her dar- ble into believing that unnatu- shan. When they arrived, they rally forceful inhalation and heard some local people dis- exhalation constitute medita- paraging Amma. This sowed tion. There are others who seeds of doubt in their minds, peddle the fanciful notion that and they decided to test Amma meditation means getting a before accepting her as Guru. glimpse of some special col- Without disclosing any details ours or a beam of light or hav- regarding the kriya (specific ing the olfactory sensation of spiritual practice) they

1 Seers who perceived mantras in deep states of meditation.

16 Matruvani followed, Dr. Padmanabhan caused by quality, the differ- simply informed Amma that ence in eligibility) of seekers he was doing a kriya and at different stages of evolve- asked Her for Her opinion. ment and different inherent Amma answered that the par- propensities. Only they would ticular practice was meant for be able to prescribe the spe- the Western disciples of the cific course to be taken by a original Guru who had particular aspirant. Many evolved that method. She for- medicines would be stacked in bade him from practising it. a medical store but the patient Dr. Padmanabhan was should ask for the specific convinced that Amma knows medicine prescribed espe- everything. He informed his cially for him to fight his friend about his decision to specific disease by the quali- stop practising that kriya. fied, competent doctor. However, his friend did not Amma cautions us against share the view and continued pursuing the spiritual path practising the kriya. Before without the help of the Guru. long, he lost his sanity and Dr. Dhyana, if not done under the Padmanabhan had to witness guidance of the guru, can lead the tragic sight of his friend to insomnia and insanity. The walking along the road, rav- real Guru, Amma tells us, ing at the top of his voice. The knows everything about the word uttered by the Guru is spiritual path. He would be Gospel Truth for the disciple, able to take us quickly to our and he can ignore it only at his destination, without any dan- own peril. ger befalling us. He would be It is only the great and ac- a real guide saving us from complished gurus like Amma many a treacherous pitfall and who can discern the subtle leading us to Ultimate Bliss adhikari bheda (the distinction with remarkable ease.

March 2017 17 The devotee worships the Su- * * * preme Master of the universe, the Creator, in the form of According to Amma, medita- Guru or a deity. He performs tion is equipoise of the mind. his duties and lives his life in It is an unbroken, indivisible total surrender to Him, even- experience wherein all duali- tually identifying himself ties of life like joy and sorrow wholly with God. vanish and the meditator at- The Sanskrit word ‘dhyan- tains a heightened level of am,’ with its two components being, wherein he experiences of ‘ dhee’ (intellect) and ‘yanam’ oneness with the universe. It (boat), can be interpreted as is a natural state in which the an inner voyage in the mind- mind dissolves on its own and boat using the oar of intellect; the apparent dichotomy be- the destination is the Self, the tween the meditator and the Supreme Reality. object of meditation ceases to Virtue, beauty, grace and exist. When the meditator ap- success are available to us. prehends the Supreme Reality, Whether we attain them de- he remains a witness, un- pends on the quality of our touched by the myriad activi- mind. Meditation nurtures ties around him. our mind, and guides and di- There are people who dif- rects it into the right path so ferentiate between the path of that our life becomes focused meditation and the path of and truly meaningful. devotion, considering the for- mer a masculine approach and Need for a Guru the latter, feminine. The path The concept of God that San- of devotion implies a duality. atana Dharma2 propounds

2 Literally ‘Eternal Religion,’ the original name of Hinduism.

18 Matruvani differs from that of all other These Gurus, in their infi- faiths on a crucial point. We nite kindness and grace, do not see God, the Creator, chalked out many paths to as distinct from and opposed help Man escape from the to His creation. He is the in- dark and cramped world of dweller, immanent in every ignorance created by ‘I’ and creature, everywhere, ani- ‘mine’ into the limitlessly ex- mate or inanimate. Nothing pansive realm of the Self, else is, outside or inside. Eve- which knows no boundaries rything that is, is His mani- of space or time. Among them, festation. This Eternal Truth dhyana yoga, or the path of was apprehended by the great meditation, undoubtedly oc- rishis of yore and handed cupies a prime place. down to us, not in dry-as-dust theological formulations but Meditation — How? When? through the vibrantly intense India is the birthplace of a rich divinity that emanated from variety of forms and tech- them through thoughts, words niques of meditation. From and deeds. Their lives demon- time immemorial, we were strated their vision and prop- pre-occupied with the Abso- agated their message far and lute Truth. In our quest to wide, reminding us that Man realize it, we turned our eye is not the body that dies and from the ever-changing, in- disintegrates but the Eternal constant Many outside to the Soul that is birthless and changeless, constant One in- deathless. What the great side. Gurus promise is this true Five thousand years ago, awareness of the Self, which Maharshi Patanjali developed guarantees Peace that tran- a scientifically structured scends the dualities of birth regimen of yoga with eight and death. distinct, well-classified angas

March 2017 19 Meditation nurtures our mind, and guides and directs it into the right path so that our life becomes focused and truly meaningful.

(limbs) in the pursuit of the to pursue the path of medita- Eternal Truth. tion. But an individual with As concentration of mind is the zest for the pursuit of an essential pre-requisite for Truth should make certain meditation, he laid down an preparations before he actu- exact code of do-s and don’t-s ally starts the practice of for the mind to achieve the meditation. For the benefit of state of purity and readiness. such seekers, Patanjali formu- Those who are selfish, those lated the eight steps of yama, who find pleasure in harming niyama, asana, pranayama, others, and those who cannot pratyahara, dharana, dhyanam bridle their craving for sen- and samadhi. sual pleasures are totally unfit (to be continued)

20 Matruvani SATSANG Are We Gopis in the Making?

by br. chandrasekhar, india

hen we hear the word ‘gopika’ or ‘gopi’ (milk- Wmaid), we instantly remember Lord Krishna and Vrindavan. The gopis were intensely devoted to the Lord, who was everything to them. Whether He was physically with them or not, the gopis remembered

March 2017 21 the Lord always and enjoyed According to the Puranas,1 the sweetness of His divine the seers and saints who had presence within them. longed for Lord Rama’s pres- Charmed by the melody of ence were reborn as the gopis, Krishna’s flute, the gopis left who revelled in the ecstasy of their duties, abandoned their being in Krishna’s presence. family and friends, and ran in Perhaps, devotees from an- search of Krishna. One could other time who yearned to even say that they forgot their enjoy the physical presence of bodies. the Divine Mother have come Today, the waves of love and to Amritapuri today to enjoy bliss that rise from Amma are the nectar of Amma’s love. In captivating millions of hearts times to come, may Her chil- far and wide. Many men and dren be remembered the way woman have left their jobs, we regard the gopis today. But homes and community because first, let us strive to understand of their yearning for Amma. a little of gopis’ all-consuming Just as the gopis were unwa- love for Krishna. vering in their friendship and To highlight the gopis’ love love for the divine in the form and devotion for Krishna, of Lord Krishna, seekers today Amma narrates an episode are besotted with Amma, who from the Bhagavatam.2 Once, is gracing humanity with the Krishna told Narada that He compassion of the Universal was suffering from a severe Mother. headache and said that only if

1 Compendium of stories — including the biographies and stories of gods, saints, kings and great people — allegories and chronicles of great historical events that aim to make the teachings of the Vedas simple and available to all. 2 Also known as Srimad Bhagavatam or Bhagavata Purana (meaning ‘Sacred Tales of the Supreme Lord’), one of the Puranic texts of Hinduism. Contains stories of the incarnations of Vishnu, including the life and pastimes of Krishna.

22 Matruvani the dust from the feet of His Vrindavan had for Krishna. devotees were smeared on His The gopis were aware that head would the pain be re- their playmate was the Al- lieved. Hearing this strange mighty in human form, and request, Narada was startled. yet they had an innocent love He could not imagine doing towards Him. Whatever they anything more sacrilegious! did, they thought only of He then asked Krishna’s con- Krishna, and thus all their ac- sorts, relatives and other dev- tions become a form of wor- otees to help. All of them re- ship. Lord Krishna was eve- fused, considering it a sinful rything to them. Even when act. Then Narada approached He was physically far away, the gopis of Vrindavan and living in Dwaraka, the gopis told them about the Lord’s experienced Krishna living in headache and the remedy He their hearts. had prescribed. The gopis at Just before the rasa lila,3 once brought some plates and when the gopis left everything filled them with the dust of and came running to Krishna, their feet. Surprised, Narada He asked them, “How I can asked them if they didn’t con- repay the debt of love which sider what they were doing you have showered on me to- sinful. The gopis said, “We day?” From this question, we cannot bear the thought of the can see how highly the Lord Lord having a headache. All appreciated the gopis’ devotion. we want is for Krishna’s head- On another occasion, Krishna ache to go away. We are ready revealed to Uddhava, His to do anything for it.” Such friend and a counsellor in His was the love the gopis of kingdom, that, among all the

3 ‘Dance of divine love,’ wherein Lord Krishna danced with Radha and each of the other gopis.

March 2017 23 devotees, the gopis were dear- irrespective of whether we love est to Him. or hate Her. Her very nature Amma’s children also crave is love and compassion; eternal to be in Her physical presence. waves of love and compassion They rush to sit near Her or to constantly emanate from Her. touch Her. They want to tell Before the commencement Her everything. They struggle of Rasa dance, the gopis asked to get Her attention in many Krishna many questions. In ways. When Amma is physi- response to one of those ques- cally away, their faces lose all tions, Krishna spoke about the charm, like furled lotuses wait- three kinds of love: ing for the moon to appear. To reciprocate love, only if Amma encourages Her others love you, is selfish children to develop an inner love (pasu prema). To love bond with Her, instead of fo- others, whether or not that cusing on the physical, outer love is reciprocated, is connection. The Yadavas, unselfish love (nisvartha who lived with Lord Krishna prema). Yet others remain in Dwaraka, fought among indifferent, no matter how themselves and destroyed others behave towards their own race. In contrast, them. This last response is the gopis developed the inner again of four types. The connection with Lord Krish- first two includes sinners: na in spite of the physical the Gurudrohis, or those distance, and thus became who hurt the givers of very dear to Him. knowledge, and the akrta- It is not correct to think that gnas, those who forget the Amma loves us only when we help they have received love Her. She is the embodi- from others. The other two ment of love and a repository are the atmaramas, those of compassion. She loves us all, who blissfully dwell in

24 Matruvani The bliss of being in Amma’s physical presence and the pangs of separation caused by Her physical absence are both opportunities that Amma has bestowed on us for our spiritual progress and evolution.

their own Self, oblivious to you cry for me, and thus the world around them, removed all the effects of and the aptakamas, those your bad deeds, and by who have transcended the giving you an opportunity realm of desires and at- to be with me, I have taken tachments. away all the effects of good But, dear gopis, I don’t deeds. This has made you belong to any of these cat- perfect for redemption. egories. I am an embodi- ment of compassion. Out Amma is also an embodiment of compassion towards of compassion. Let us strength- you, I have called you, or en our bond with Her. We must rather attracted you also realise that the bliss of through the music of my being in Amma’s physical pres- flute to wipe out the merits ence and the pangs of separa- of your good deeds and the tion caused by Her physical demerits of your bad deeds. absence are both opportunities You have only pure love that Amma has bestowed on and devotion towards me, us for our spiritual progress and you are not bothered and evolution. Let us strive to about worldly ties and become like the gopis, and bonds. By disappearing enshrine Amma firmly in the from your midst, I made Vrindavan of our hearts.

March 2017 25 EXPERIENCE

Clinging to Her for Life by aparna v.k., india

ife is not a river that flows peacefully and by Lvirtue of its own will. Challenging obstacles and problems are part of life. None can predict what destiny or time has in store for us. Sometimes, cir- cumstances might wear us down. Who is with us then? As far as a spiritual seeker is concerned, God is always with us. With outstretched hands, the Guru trails us like a consoling shadow. My life was filled with happiness. My parents lavished me, an only child and daughter, with much love. But I did not become self-centred because of that. For my mother, Amma was her whole world. She would stand before Amma with hands joined in prayer and with eyes moistened by devotion. Though I am not so devout, I learnt from my mother the important lesson that one must never be egoistic. Family celebra- tions and festivities were always centred in Amritapuri.

26 Matruvani During my school holidays, my Mother of the Universe, and mother wouldn’t take me any- known Her love, compassion where else. She would hold my and solicitude. I have gazed hand and take me to Vallicka- with utmost longing as Amma vu. My father had no objection initiated young children into at all to this. learning, and as She gave in- As an infant, I was blessed fants their first feeding of to sit in Amma’s lap. I thank solid food. There was also my parents for this. If they something else that drew me: hadn’t taken me to Amma, I the sight of college under- wouldn’t have met the Divine graduates in the ashram

March 2017 27 grounds, walking with con- Tuesday and Friday, the river- tented smiles. I often used to ine flow of Amma’s bhajans think, “How lucky these young bathe Amritapuri. The whole men and women are!” I wasn’t atmosphere is ever festive, and able to study in Amrita Uni- faces are aglow with smiles. As versity. This was a cause of far as I was concerned, this sorrow for me. After complet- place was heaven on earth. ing my Bachelor in Technolo- This was a place I had always gy degree, my dream of stay- yearned to be, and I had ar- ing in Amritapuri material- rived! ized when I secured a job in A calamity struck my life the Amritapuri campus of suddenly. It happened on a Amrita University. I believe Sunday — on February 7th, my mother’s prayer to Amma 2016, to be precise. After re- helped me find this job. ceiving Amma’s darshan, my How charming Amritapuri mother, my friend Amrita, and is! On one side are the rolling, I were travelling to the Kay- incessant waves of the sea. On amkulam railway station to the other is the wide blue rib- board the night Malabar Ex- bon of the backwaters. On ei- press, which would reach ther bank of the backwaters Calicut by dawn. It was 7 p.m. are dense clusters of coconut Suddenly, a car collided into trees. The backwaters them- the two motorbikes in front of selves are littered with boats. us, and crashed head on into At dusk, the backwaters spar- the auto-rickshaw we were in. kle with illuminated Chinese Amrita and the auto-rickshaw fishing nets. The magnificent driver were thrown out of the Amrita-setu spans the width of vehicle. My mother and I re- the backwaters. If there’s a mained inside. My mother gateway to heaven, it’s surely fainted. My head was injured this bridge. Every Monday, and blood gushed down my

28 Matruvani face. Amrita and the driver brahmacharis to rush to Al- were seriously injured. I leppey with an ambulance. couldn’t see anything because From the hospital, they trans- my eyes had been struck dur- ferred us to the Amrita Insti- ing the collision. Shocked, I tute of Medical Sciences wondered if I was going to (AIMS Hospital) in Kochi. I die! was surrounded by specialist There are compassionate doctors, who carried out tests people everywhere, those who and observed me over two rush to help. God surely dwells days. Amma kept calling from in the hearts of such souls. One Amritapuri. As I lay there, I auto-rickshaw driver, who prayed, meditated on Amma’s rushed to help, took out my feet, and yearned intensely for mobile phone, called all those Amma’s presence. who had called me recently, Early one morning, at about and informed them about the 3 a.m., Amma called and want- accident. We were then rushed ed to speak to me. The phone to the Parabrahma Hospital in was brought close to my ear. Oachira. The driver was ad- Amma! The voice that anyone mitted there. Perhaps, seeing would love resounded in my our critical condition, the doc- ear: “Darling daughter, Am- tors asked that we be taken ma’s daughter, don’t give up… immediately to the T.D. Med- Amma is keeping tabs on your ical College in Vandanam, Al- condition. Golden daughter, be leppey. I could hear and under- brave…” The strength that stand everything clearly but those words infused in me was couldn’t move. I was terrified. immense. No, I wasn’t going to A witness had informed the die! Nothing was going to hap- ashram about the accident, and pen to me. Amma is with me. Amma instructed Br. Sreeval- Hours passed. At 9 a.m., I san and a few other had to undergo a complicated

March 2017 29 surgery. After a seven-hour- boons. I felt like hugging Her long procedure, I was gradu- and kissing those cheeks. Lat- ally pulled back from the brink er, I learnt that Amma had of death, to life. After two been calling daily, inquiring weeks, I underwent a four- about my condition, and giving hour surgery. I gratefully re- instructions pertaining to my member all those who prayed care. for me during this time. I wasn’t the only one who I emerged from a comatose returned from the threshold of state. I couldn’t open my eyes death. My mother, Amrita and or see anything. I tried moving the driver were all saved. After my hands. Slowly, I brought one-and-a-half months, I slow- my palms to my face. With my ly walked through the corri- heart quaking in fear, I tried dors with the help of my uncle caressing my face. It was fully and stepped out of the hospital. bandaged! Would I have to As we drove away, I turned live with the scars formed by around from my back seat and stitches on my forehead and saw the magnificent sculpture cheeks, which had been lacer- of Sushruta Maharshi, found- ated? How helpless human ing father of medical surgery. beings are. How swiftly things Sometimes, experiences can turn topsy-turvy. Never- might be the figments of one’s theless, bolstered by the power imagination. Not these. Many of Amma’s words and the selflessly kept me company memory of Her compassion, I during my hospitalization, and did not give in to desperation. many came to console me. After a few days, the band- They said, “We never thought ages covering my face were Aparna would come back alive.” removed. The first thing I saw, In this world, some things just on the wall I faced, was the defy logic. One of them is my photo of Amma, bestower of beloved Amma.

30 Matruvani VILLAGE

The Gift of Byse by resya reghu, india

ast year, we visited Byse, a village in the Shimoga district Lof Karnataka, South India. We were a 15-member team comprising 10 female undergraduates, three male undergradu- ates and two faculty members. Initially, we were all a little ap- prehensive. This was the first time most of us were undertaking such an expedition, which was part of the Amrita SeRVe (Self- reliant Village) project. Only two of us knew Kannada, the language spoken in Karnataka. On June 14th, 2016, we boarded a train from Kayamkulam and reached Mangalore the next day. From there, it was a five-

March 2017 31 hour bus-ride to Byse. We umbrellas, in case we needed stayed at Amrita Vidyalayam, to fend off any of these ani- Nagara, which is about five mals! Day by day, our stamina kilometres away. began to improve. Byse is actually a combina- Our main tasks were to tion of four villages: Sulagodu, conduct surveys to identify the Kardigere, Byse and Sreed- problems that the villagers harpura. Byse welcomed us faced, to organize summer with the sweet smell of man- camps for the children, and to goes, jackfruits and pineapples. celebrate Yoga Day (June Among the main crops culti- 21st). There were a total of 250 vated here are paddy and families living here. We di- areca nut. Most of us had the vided ourselves into two feeling that we were in Way- groups, each group including anad, a high-altitude, scenic one of the two Kannada speak- district in Northeast Kerala. ers. Although carrying out the The weather, forest, houses, survey was hard work, we cliffs and roads are all similar. enjoyed it immensely. It was a The only difference was the truly educational experience language. that taught us much about the Although there is public reality in these villages. De- transport, buses never seemed spite the hardships faced by to come on time. So, we walked many in the village, all of them from our accommodation to welcomed us with cheerful the village daily. It was no smiles. Though their houses ordinary walk — we had to were small, their hearts were climb, jump and cross various large. They would regale us hurdles. On the way, we would with cups of sweet jaggery tea encounter cows, bulls, mon- and plates of jackfruit and keys and dogs. We took the mango confectionery. Some of precaution of carrying the villagers even packed

32 Matruvani snacks for us to take home. would remove their slippers, The love with which they keeping them in a perfectly served us was heart-warming, straight line. The classroom and their food and drink were was spic and span. The stu- revitalizing. dents would eat their lunch When we realized that Hin- sitting on the floor. When we di and English would not take spoke to them, we realized that us far here, we installed Kan- they were all, without excep- nada-learning apps on our tion, bright and talented. phones to learn at least some Amma has often said how the common phrases and words. ethos of hospitality is deeply- Our two Kannada-speaking rooted in traditional Indian colleagues were the real heroes, culture, and we could see how enabling us to complete the natural this was to these stu- surveys. They would also ac- dents, who, no doubt, had company us to the market, a learnt from the examples of 15-minute walk away. their parents and elders. The Visiting the Byse Govern- children were ready to do any- ment School was especially thing for us. They fetched memorable. There were about water for everyone from the 40 students from classes 1 – 7. nearby hand pump, and did so All of them sat in the same with goodwill and broad classroom. Their learning re- smiles. sources were meagre. The One day, we visited Sula- students’ vocabulary of Eng- godu village. That visit was an lish words was poor, as was eye opener for us, for we came their pronunciation. And yet, face to face with the grim real- one could not help but feel how ity of dire poverty. We met a refined and gentle their char- girl named Sangeetha, who acters were. Before entering was studying in Standard 8. the classroom, all the students Her sweet smile touched all our

March 2017 33 Byse was an unforgettable book that Amma had gifted us, each leaf rich with lessons of life and spirituality. hearts. She was the only one bid the villagers farewell, we who spoke to us in English. felt their innocent smiles re- School was four kilometres flected in ours. We had learned away, and she would make the from them how to smile from long walk there and back on the heart, for their smiles were all school days. Given her fam- truly beautiful and captivating. ily’s straitened finances, it was We also learned the meaning unlikely that she could con- of contentment from them. tinue her studies after 10th They had little, but were happy. standard. In fact, most of the We began to see the truth be- students here did not study hind what had been a cliché for beyond the 10th standard for us — that material objects can- the same reasons. Though not buy happiness. One can aware of her bleak educational become happier by loving, re- prospects, Sangeetha was ever specting and helping others. cheerful. Seeing this, we felt This is the key to happiness. moved. We recalled Amma’s words The two weeks we spent in about how love is the only lan- Byse was eventful. For one guage that all living beings can thing, it gave us a welcome understand. During those 14 reprieve from our negativities days in Byse, we realized how such as selfishness and ego- true those words were. Byse tism. We hope this trip marks was an unforgettable book that the beginning of our pilgrim- Amma had gifted us, each leaf age towards greater love and rich with lessons of life and compassion for others. As we spirituality.

34 Matruvani LILAS

Lilas Around Amma

Faith Takes Root In the 1990s, my sister and my mother became ardent devotees of Amma. I was working in the Indian Navy then. I was a devotee of Lord Ayyappa and used to visit Sabarimala1 fre- quently. However, I did not believe in ‘human gods,’ i.e. that God would ever assume a human form. I used to criticize my sister and mother for keeping Amma’s photo

1 Popular pilgrimage destina- tion; a mountain-top shrine dedicated to Lord Ayyappa.

March 2017 35 in our puja room. In defence, In December 2004, I finally my sister said that Amma was agreed to accompany my her Guru. I replied that one mother and sister to the does not need a mediator be- Kozhikode Ashram to meet tween oneself and God. Amma there. The pressure My mother and sister were arising from my poor financial living in Wayanad, in North condition might have pushed Kerala. My wife and I were me to this decision. I spent the staying in Kochi, in central whole day at the Kozhikode Kerala. On their way to the Ashram, taking part in both ashram, an 11-hour journey, the Lalita Sahasranama archa- my mother and sister would na2 and the Shani Puja.2 I went often stop by our place. On for darshan, but did not feel many occasions, they tried to that the experience was special persuade us to accompany in any way. However, my them to the ashram, but I ada- mother felt confident because mantly refused. Amma had told her, “Amma In 2002, after 15 years of will make sankalpa (divine re- service in the Navy, I resigned solve). Your son will come out and settled in Wayanad. I this hard time.” used all my retirement bene- Three months later, in March fits to build a new home, and 2005, one of my Navy friends soon found myself in deep fi- who was working in Qatar nancial trouble. I started called and asked me to attend working in a private company a job interview at a travel in Kozhikode. It did not pay agency in Kayamkulam, which well, and I found it hard to is about 14 kilometres away make both ends meet. from Amritapuri. When I went

2 Chanting of the 1,000 names of the Goddess. 3 Ritual worship to alleviate the malefic planetary influence of Saturn.

36 Matruvani there the next day, I was sur- to the Indian Embassy at prised to see a photo of Amma. Doha, Qatar, to obtain a ‘Life The interview was successful; I Certificate,’ which ex-service- was selected. In my heart, I felt man working abroad need to that Amma had had a hand in submit to the bank issuing the getting me this job. I became pensions. While filling some convinced of Her divinity. forms, I noticed one of the staff I was asked to collect both wearing a ring and pendant the visa and flight ticket to with Amma’s photo. I spoke to Qatar from the Kayamkulam her, introducing myself as an office on Saturday, April 16th, Amma devotee. Sheela happily 2005. My mother insisted that helped me obtain the certifi- I meet Amma before departing cate quickly, and also informed to Qatar, but when the travel me that she hosted archana agency informed me that my every Friday at her home in flight to Qatar was taking off Doha, and invited me to the early the next morning, I told next program. Though her my mother that I could not house was far away from where meet Amma. However, when I I lived, I began attending these received the ticket, I found that archanas frequently. my flight was on the morning In July 2006, I received an of Monday, April 18th, 2005. I excellent job offer in Dubai. felt convinced that this was Before leaving Doha, Sheela Amma’s plan. I went to Amri- gave me the phone number of tapuri, where Amma gave me Jayaram, an Amma devotee in a beautiful darshan. Dubai. My wife and I started I started work in Qatar, and attending archana at his home was soon able to start paying every Friday. Our connection off my bank loans. I even and devotion to Amma grew. started saving money. After In 2009, when the financial working there for a year, I went crisis in the Gulf was at its

March 2017 37 worst, my company started situation. She is always hold- retrenching employees. An- ing our hands and looking af- ticipating the termination let- ter us.” ter, I began to worry. That These words made an aston- Friday, when I went for the ishing impact on me. After the archana, I met a brahmachari. archana, I was a totally differ- He asked us how things were, ent person. All my worries and everybody unanimously vanished. I felt strong enough replied that they were adverse- to face any eventuality. I soon ly affected by the economic learnt that I was not on the crisis. The brahmachari then retrenchment list. I also sur- said, “Amma’s children must vived another two major lay- never be disheartened as we offs. Now, my wife and I spend have Her with us, and we can most of our vacations in Am- unburden all our worries at ritapuri, where we try to as- Her feet. Amma will give us similate Amma’s teachings. the strength to face any — Suresh Kumar T., India

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38 Matruvani STORY

Govardhana-giridhari by rajani menon, india

et another bolt of lightning snaked across the sky, and thun- Yder crashed with deafening fury. The cowsheds of Vrindavan were flooded with water flowing in from the streets that had become mighty streams. The little calf pressed his wet and shivering body against the belly of his frightened mother, who grunted gently. She licked him all over with her tongue, trying to warm him and stop him from shivering. The storm had been raging for days now. The sun had ceased to shine. The cowherds of Vrindavan moved among their cows, feeding them with scanty amounts of hay, as they had not been

March 2017 39 able to graze since the unsea- women and children. who were sonal rains started. pressing to get under the shel- The tiny calf dozed off. In ter of the mountain. his dreams, he heard the foot- The little calf saw Krishna, steps of his favourite cowherd, his Lord and Protector, under the beautiful blue boy with a the centre of the mountain, crown of peacock feathers holding Govardhan aloft like adorning his unruly curls. The an umbrella to shelter all the calf’s heart was filled with the people and animals of Vrinda- glorious music of the cowherd’s van. He raised the mountain flute. It was a melody that with the little finger of His left transfixed all the creatures of hand. He used His right hand Vrindavan, caressing and com- to hold the magic flute to His forting them, assuring them of lips. The little calf dissolved in peace and protection. He bliss as Krishna glanced ten- dreamt that he was beside his derly at him and piped a song mother in the green glades of of love and healing. Vrindavan, with the blue lord Thus ended the arrogance sharing his mother’s udder. of Indra, the chief of the gods. The calf woke up to a grind- He had tried to punish Krish- ing, tearing sound. He stum- na and the other residents of bled up to see the huge moun- Vrindavan for not paying hom- tain, Govardhan, rising up age to him, by causing a deluge. from the earth. Around him Instead, he had learnt that he were deafening cries of “Krish- was no match for the Almighty. na! Krishna! O Krishna, Lord Accepting defeat, Indra of Vrindavan!” The tiny calf stopped the rains. the sun was filled with the energy that shone, the birds sang, and In- throbbed in the air. He left his dra came down to pay obei- mother’s side and wove his way sance to Sri Krishna, Lord of among the crowd of men, the Universe.

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