$3 We’ve Worked Too Hard For Our Illusions Just To Throw Them All Away $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com April 8th, 2009 [email protected] 99 POINTS AND A BITCH AIN’T ONE Well, doesn’t all that teeth-gnashing . But a lot of that pounding came it himself. The Blue Jackets don’t get any in March seem a little silly now? Don’t worry, as the Sedins ran wild against Bolland’s line. scoring from their blueline -- Hitchcock might we’re not gloating, we were right there with Well, Pahlsson has already drank the Sedins’ think hockey works like lacrosse, where your you. But after last night’s solid effort, and the milkshake once in the playoffs, we think he d-men can’t cross the red line. Their power Canucks win over Calgary, the Hawks need can do it again. Should he do so, the Hawks play is beyond woeful, so they’ve had to scrap two points out of the last six on offer to host can easily match the Canucks in secondary and claw for every , and it’s usually Nash Game 1 next week. Also, never in our wildest scoring. But time will tell. doing the scoring. Still, he got knocked on his dreams in September did we think the Hawks Masters Week, Jackets Everywhere ass twice by T.J. Oshie, so it’s hard to take him could top 100 points, which they have every To tonight, and the visit of the that seriously. chance of doing now. Sure, 100 points these panting-to-the-finish-line and banged-up Helping out a little have been the two days doesn’t mean quite as much as it once . After a scorch- midseason additions, old friend Jason Williams did, thanks to Gary Bettman’s soccer-mom- ing stretch in March -- winning six of seven and Antoine Vermette. Both are averaging pleasing-everyone-gets-a-trophy points -- the Jackets are slowing down and having just slightly under a -per-game. After policy. But it sure looks cool, doesn’t it? pieces starting to fall off. If the season were staring out flaming like he was on Halsted St., The Hawks have managed four stellar two weeks longer, they’d look like Elmer Fudd Vermette has cooled to five points in his last defensive efforts in a row, despite including driving with nothing but a steering wheel and 10 games. With their injuries, this is about all Matt Walker in some of them. It’s hearten- seat after Bugs has pulled the pin causing it to the BJs have in attack. ing to see that whatever game the Hawks are fall apart. They’re short an important d-man You know the drill here. Though required to play, they can do it. When you’re in Rostislav Klesla -- perhaps searching for they don’t score much, the defensemen of path in the playoffs could require you to grind Tuomo Ruutu’s knees -- and have taken a Columbus do what is in the name, defend. it out with Vancouver, then shoot it out with huge hit in their scoring with the absences of Mike Commodore and the criminally underrat- San Jose or Scum, the Hawks shouldn’t be too Fredrik Modin and Kristian Huselius. This was ed Jan Hejda make life for forwards hellish in worried about shifting through the gears. after future-stud was lost for a way only prisoners can understand, and you One Toke Over Two Lines, Sweet the year trying to beat the shit out of James know Hitch will have landmines in the neutral Jesus Neal of Dallas (Derick, if you’re going to injure zone tonight as the Jackets chase the few points they need to shore up a playoff spot. During this last little streak, the yourself fighting a Star, make it a Star worth It’ll be another glass-chewing, goiter-ugly, Hawks can look at two lines, at opposite ends it. Ott, Ribeiro, Madano, Robidas, there’s so taffy-pull of a game. If the Hawks continue of the ice. We never used to be comfortable many to choose from). to be as solid in their own zone as they have with Havlat playing with Daydream Nation Still, the Blue Jackets are going to been, it will once again only require Mason to (that would be #19 and #88, for those who have to fuck up in Blagojevich-proportions to turn his head in disappointment once or twice, don’t speak our language), but these past few miss their first playoff berth. For that, they and those two games against Scum will be games that line has been weaving some sort can thank (more on him inside) academic. -Gordon Brown of black magic up and down our spine. At and Rick Nash, who’s pretty much had to do times it looks like a Globetrotter routine, and we think Pat Foley might have a brian bubble. In the four games they’ve been permanently together, they’ve put up 16 points. Perhaps it bunches the Hawks scoring just a little too much, but you’d be shocked if they’re broken up anytime soon. On the other side of the ice...actu- ally, it’s been on both ends, is the play of Ladd-Pahlsson-Buff. They’re +8 in the last four games, and have been chipping in with goals as well. Sure, the only extremely hot line they’ve cancelled out was St. Louis’s Kids Line, but they haven’t given Nash of Columbus or Nashville’s top line a sniff when they’ve been out there against them. Obviously, Buff can count, as he must’ve figured out when Sharp and Brouwer both got healthy it was his ass that could very well be planted next to Sassone and Ziehm. Maybe it’s that he isn’t asked to score now, only check, but whatever it is, we have to admit he’s played awfully well the past few games. We know a lot of Hawks fans are still trembling at the idea of a first round date with “He’s day-to-day with a lower body injury”

FROM THE EDITOR

Perhaps I made too much of it, but I felt a certain chill at the I can’t even describe the giddiness I feel that I will be at the UC when the final horn on Friday. Judging by the wall of noise that greeted it, I’m sure next Hawks Era officially arrives. Game 1 will signal that all that garbage I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. When the “2009 and misery we’ve slogged through lo these many years is over. It will join Playoffs” graphic flashed across the United Center all of the other playoff memories that I have from scoreboard, my heart jumped, for just a second. The my childhood. Savard’s goal against waiting was over, and no more would I have to sit and (yes, I was four, but I remember the radio call); the watch the 1st round and wonder when it would be our heartbreaker-loss to Minnesota in 1991, probably the turn. best team we had; JR starting the roll to the Finals in And Lord, has it been a wait. Seven years, St. Louis; Dirk Graham pounding home a dump-in and for some like myself, it’s been even longer. I off the boards in Detroit to put the Hawks up 2-0, and didn’t live in the country the last time the Hawks made the Brent Sutter finishing them off two games later; the postseason, and from all reports it didn’t sound like the 1992 Finals Game 1, which I’ve still never gotten I missed much. So my last playoff experience with over; JR’s winner against in 1994, the Hawks was 1997, and their 1st round tolchocking the win over those same Leafs a year later in Game by the Avs. Sure, the Hawks battled back to get that 7, where I ditched a class outing in DC so I could series to 2-2, but when Colorado decided they’d had Sam Fels watch it (lots of detention for that one); Joe Murphy enough, they did away with the Hawks pretty easily. tying the game with less than a minute to go in Game The year before is the only playoff game I’ve 6 in that ‘96 series vs. Colorado, and him leaping into attended, which is a status that will change next Wednesday or Thursday. Gary Suter’s arms just as I leapt into my brother’s. And then the trash can It was Game 6 in the second round vs. those same Avs. That was Jeremy I knocked over on my way out after that game. And those are the ones that Roenick’s last game, and the last game of a Hawks’ Era. They haven’t been are just off the top of my head. May there be many more this spring. the same since. When Sandis Ozolinsh banged home a rebound in the 2nd overtime that night, it’s probably as close as I’ve ever felt (and hopefully -We’ll have a note in Sunday’s issue about this as well, but due to our will ever feel) to being . That Hawks team wasn’t young, it was clear printer’s closing on Easter, we have to print out Sunday’s issue on Friday. that it was Roenick’s last game as a Hawk, and I think we all knew that Hence, we have decided to make it a Season Review Issue, with thoughts night that there was no way the Hawks would be able to overhaul Colorado and contributions from all our regular guests. It’ll still contain the wit and and Scum, the powers of the conference at that time. Clearly, they never swear words you’ve come to enjoy, just look a little different. We’ll be did. back with our normal issue for the first home playoff game. NHL STANDINGS *late game not included

Eastern Conference Western Conference

W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY 1 Boston 51 18 10 112 262 184 28-6-6 23-12-4 1 San Jose 52 16 11 115 252 196 31-4-4 21-12-7 2 Washington 49 23 8 106 264 236 29-9-3 20-14-5 2 Detroit 51 19 9 111 290 233 27-8-4 24-11-5 3 New Jersey 49 27 4 102 238 205 27-12-1 22-15-3 3 Calgary 45 29 6 96 249 242 26-10-4 19-19-2 4 Philadelphia 43 25 11 97 257 230 24-12-4 19-13-7 4 HAWKS 44 24 11 99 254 210 23-9-7 21-15-4 5 Carolina 45 28 7 97 236 218 26-13-1 19-15-6 5 Vancouver 43 27 10 96 244 220 23-12-5 20-15-5 6 Pittsburgh 43 28 9 95 255 237 24-13-3 19-15-6 6 Columbus 40 29 10 90 218 218 25-12-3 15-17-7 7 Montreal 41 29 10 92 244 239 24-9-7 17-20-3 7 Anaheim 41 33 6 88 237 230 19-18-3 22-15-3 8 NY Rangers 41 30 9 91 204 214 25-11-4 16-19-5 8 St. Louis 39 31 10 88 229 232 22-13-5 17-18-5 9 Florida 39 30 11 89 224 225 21-12-7 18-18-4 9 Nashville 39 33 8 86 205 222 24-13-4 15-20-4 10 Buffalo 38 32 9 85 236 231 22-15-3 16-17-6 10 Minnesota 38 33 9 85 205 193 22-11-7 16-22-2 11 Ottawa 36 34 10 82 213 229 22-12-6 14-22-4 11 Edmonton 37 34 9 83 228 243 17-17-6 20-17-3 12 Toronto 33 34 13 79 244 288 15-15-9 18-19-4 12 Dallas 35 35 10 80 224 251 20-16-5 15-19-5 13 Atlanta 34 40 6 74 249 275 17-20-2 17-20-4 13 L.A. 33 36 11 77 203 230 17-15-8 16-21-3 14 Tampa Bay 24 38 18 66 206 269 12-17-11 12-21-7 14 Phoenix 34 39 7 75 199 247 22-15-3 12-24-4 15 NY Islanders 26 44 9 61 196 264 17-16-6 9-28-3 15 Colorado 32 44 2 66 197 251 18-20-0 14-24-2

teams that have clinched playoff berth in italics teams that have clinched division in bold italics

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP

Top 10 Things We Hate From Ohio 10. Mike Tomczak- lowered every Bears fans’ expectations for a QB, which were only corrected last week 9. THE Ohio State University- otherwise known as THE team that gets skull-fucked in the championship game 8. Thom Brennaman- Listen to him call a Reds game against the Cubs sometime, you’ll swear he’s pouting 7. Cavs fans- you know LeBron is fucking off to New York in a year, right? 6. The BJs P.A. Announcer- which, sadly, looks like the Hawks have picked T.J. Oshie knocking Rick Nash on his big, soft ass twice in two days: We’re sorry, it just never up on gets old. St. Louis Gametime has probably put these 5. The Dog Pound- those people have kids, y’know photos in the St. Louis Art Museum already. We 4. Speed traps- seriously, don’t the fucking cops have anything else to do? know we’ll grow to absolutely abhor T.J. Oshie, but Not like Toledo is a war zone, or anything come on, this is awesome, isn’t it? Rick Nash has six inches and 40 pounds on him, and he goes down 3. Some of it is far too close to Detroit quicker than a freshman on the school quarterback. 2. All you have is the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame, and you didn’t give it near The best is the second one, when Nash charged enough space from one corner to the other to have his revenge on 1. Skyline Chili sucks. Really, it does. Oshie, and he still get flattened. That’s your , Columbus. 44-24-11

Campbell was as tentative and hesitant as we’ve seen him this year last night. Maybe it was seeing what his taxes look like now. Look, Soupy, we don’t expect much in the defensive zone from you, but we need sound offensive decisions.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 24 R The Perfect Beard 6' 2" 217 27 78 28 45 73 28 30 5 0 5 240 11.7 $6,000,000 88 R Patrick Kane 5' 10" 187 20 77 25 43 68 -2 42 13 0 4 251 10 $3,725,000 19 C Captain Marvel 6' 2" 209 20 79 33 34 67 12 51 12 0 7 190 17.4 $2,800,000 32 L VerStud 5' 10" 180 22 76 22 29 51 14 55 6 4 3 133 16.5 $491,667 51 D Brian Campbell 6' 0" 188 29 79 7 41 48 1 22 4 0 1 105 6.7 $7,142,875 16 L Andrew Ladd 6' 2" 198 23 79 13 33 46 23 28 0 0 1 189 6.9 $1,550,000 36 C Dave Bolland 6' 0" 188 22 78 17 28 45 18 48 1 2 4 107 15.9 $845,833 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6' 1" 197 27 61 26 18 44 6 41 9 0 4 184 14.1 $3,900,000 2 D Duncan Keith 6' 1" 194 25 75 8 34 42 32 60 2 1 1 169 4.7 $1,475,000 25 D Cam Barker 6' 3" 213 22 65 6 34 40 -4 65 5 0 1 93 6.5 $2,768,587 33 R 6' 3" 247 23 74 14 15 29 5 79 3 0 3 194 7.2 $3,000,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6' 2" 213 23 66 10 16 26 7 50 4 1 0 124 8.1 $675,000 7 D Brent Seabrook 6' 3" 220 23 79 7 16 23 22 60 2 1 1 128 5.5 $3,500,000 26 C Samuel Pahlsson 6' 0" 204 31 63 7 11 18 -18 34 1 0 2 88 8 $301,000 46 C Colin Fraser 6' 1" 188 23 78 6 11 17 3 55 0 1 0 66 9.1 $500,000 Why? 55 L 6' 2" 220 24 72 10 4 14 1 156 0 0 0 73 13.7 $568,000 8 D Matt Walker 6' 3" 214 28 62 1 13 14 9 77 0 0 0 82 1.2 $600,000 37 R Adam Burish 6' 1" 189 26 63 6 3 9 3 89 0 0 2 80 7.5 $712,500 23 D Aaron Johnson 6' 1" 211 25 36 3 5 8 18 33 0 0 1 27 11.1 $600,000 5 D 6' 1" 211 32 23 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 15 6.7 $2,333,333 4 D Niklas Hjalmarsson 6' 2" 200 21 18 0 2 2 1 0 0 0 0 13 0 $643,000 *injured Totals/Averages 6’ 1” 202.5 24.4 250 436 14.4/g 68 10 33.0/g 9.7% $44,607,000 See? We said we weren’t that impressed with Khabby’s stretch after his return, and he responds with possi- bly his best four games of the year. We knew what we were doing all along. # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6' 1" 209 36 40 2342 2.38 24 8 6 2 1133 93 .918 0 2 8 $6,750,000 38 Cristobal Huet 6' 1" 205 33 40 2291 2.54 19 15 4 3 1064 97 .909 0 0 2 $5,625,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 35 2.58 44 24 11 5 28.6/g 204 0.909 0 2 10 $12,375,000

TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000 CAP SPACE: $274,000* *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Probable Lines Probable Pairings Left Wing Center Right Wing 2 Keith 7 Seabrook Injury List 24 Havlat 19 Toews 88 Kane 51 Campbell 4 Hjalmarsson Brent Sopel- Out (Talent) 22 Brouwer 36 Bolland 32 Versteeg 8 Walker 25 Barker Patrick Sharp- Questionable (Knee) 16 Ladd 26 Pahlsson 33 Byfuglien 37 Burish 46 Fraser 55 Eager

Committed Indian T-shirts....

blue Balls of Ohio 40-29-10

and is one of very few threats for the BJs. This injury really hurts, as Huselius put up 11 points in 15 Ma rch games, - # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary (Cap Hit) 61 L Rick Nash 6' 4" 218 24 75 38 38 76 11 50 6 5 5 253 15 $5,400,000 20 L Kristian Huselius* 6' 1" 179 30 74 21 35 56 1 44 5 0 2 212 9.9 $4,750,000 29 R Jason Williams 5' 11" 185 28 77 18 28 46 -2 24 7 0 4 148 12.2 $1,053,000 18 C R.J. Umberger 6' 2" 215 26 79 26 19 45 -6 49 9 0 2 226 11.5 $3,750,000 50 C Antoine Vermette 6' 1" 197 26 76 15 24 39 -6 50 3 1 1 168 8.9 $594,000 93 R Jakub Voracek 6' 1" 205 19 77 9 28 37 11 44 0 0 1 99 9.1 $1,271,000 51 D Fedor Tyutin 6' 3" 216 25 79 9 25 34 2 77 5 1 0 165 5.5 $2,844,000 27 C 6' 2" 217 28 74 11 23 34 9 28 0 0 3 113 9.7 $1,200,000 33 L Fredrik Modin* 6' 4" 218 34 50 9 16 25 2 28 2 0 0 113 8 $3,250,000 22 D Mike Commodore 6' 5" 228 29 78 5 19 24 10 98 0 0 0 102 4.9 $3,750,000 19 C Michael Peca 5' 11" 183 34 69 4 18 22 -4 56 0 0 2 73 5.5 $1,237,000 25 L Jason Chimera 6' 2" 216 29 46 8 13 21 8 37 1 0 1 108 7.4 $1,875,000 10 D Kris Russell 5' 10" 180 21 63 2 18 20 -9 26 1 0 1 85 2.4 $629,000 14 L Raffi Torres 6' 0" 223 27 48 12 7 19 -1 23 2 0 6 70 17.1 $2,250,000 8 D Jan Hejda 6' 3" 218 30 79 3 16 19 22 38 0 0 1 66 4.5 $2,000,000 3 D Marc Methot 6' 3" 225 23 63 4 13 17 6 55 0 0 0 58 6.9 $522,000 40 R Jared Boll 6' 2" 210 22 72 3 10 13 -8 171 1 0 0 69 4.3 $735,000 17 C Andrew Murray 6' 2" 216 27 66 8 2 10 -7 10 1 0 3 89 9 $625,000 97 D Rostislav Klesla* 6' 3" 220 26 33 1 8 9 2 38 0 0 0 28 3.6 $1,600,000 5 D Christian Backman 6' 4" 210 28 56 2 5 7 5 32 1 0 1 54 3.7 $2,300,000 12 C Jiri Novotny 6' 3" 204 25 39 3 3 6 3 10 0 1 0 54 5.6 $750,000 28 L Nikita Filatov 6’ 0” 172 18 8 4 0 4 3 0 0 0 1 10 40 $634,000 15 R Derek Dorsett 5' 11" 187 21 49 3 1 4 -4 146 0 0 1 54 5.6 $515,000 77 C Chris Gratton 6' 4" 223 33 24 0 3 3 -1 12 0 0 0 20 0 $171,000 55 D O. Kristian Tollefsen* 6' 2" 211 24 19 0 1 1 -4 37 0 0 0 12 0 $675,000 24 D Aaron Rome 6' 1" 223 25 6 0 1 1 2 0 0 0 0 3 0 $149,000

You may have caught the controversy over Filatov’s call-up. Instead of helping AHL-af may have caught the controversy over Filatov’s call-up. Instead of You BJs decided to have him sit and watch theirs. push, the filiate Syracuse with their playoff then, who in Syracuse is? to say, fans in Syracuse weren’t happy. But Needless * injured Totals/Averages 6' 2" 206.3 26.3 213 389 15.1/g 41 8 29.2/g 9.0% $45,142,000

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 1 Steve Mason 6' 4" 212 20 58 3480 2.22 32 18 7 10 1579 $129 0.918 0 0 2 $847,000 34 Wade Dubielewicz 5’ 10” 185 30 3 169 3.55 1 2 0 0 77 $10 0.87 0 0 0 $231,000 Totals/Averages 6' 1" 198 25 2.57 40 29 10 11 27.9/g 211 .904 0 0 2 $1,078,000 Probable Lines Probable Pairings TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $51,205,000 CAP SPACE: $5,495,000 Left Wing Center Right Wing 22 Commodore 8 Hejda *space also affected by buyouts and injured players 61 Nash 27 Malhotra 93 Voracek 51 Tyutin 3 Methot Injury List 18 Umberger 50 Vermette 29 Williams 5 Backman 10 Russell Derick Brassard- Out (Shoulder) Rostislav Klesla- Questionable (Upper Body) 14 Torres 19 Peca 40 Boll Ole-Kristian Tollefson- Questionable (Upper) Fredrik Modin- Questionable (Knee) 25 Chimera 12 Novotny 15 Dorsett Kristian Huselius- Questionable (Head)

...COMING SOON. CHECK SECOND CITY HOCKEY.COM FOR DETAILS It’s time for a season-ending edition of... ASK THE ICE CREW!!

What was your favorite moment of the season?

When that pasty bizz-nitch on the right fell on her pasty, flat ass on Favorite moment The free Bulls center ice. Dat is when Russian tickets I got in shit was muth- Legend Khabibulin January. It was fuckin’ comedy outplayed French in a box, we had gold, playa-playa! surrender-poodle so much food Too bad she ain’t to once again prove and drinks, I got no paddin Russia is God’s didn’t even have back there like Chosen Country! to watch the my fine badon- Long live Drago! game! kadonk caboose! SHEEEEIIIIITTT!

What was your least favorite moment?

Any of dese fuckin’ The construc- road watch parties. tion helmets! Bunch of fat, devil- This job is Having you morons foo’s in a Hawks supposed publish my thoughts jersey trying to kick to be fun! I and claim I’m from some game on this swear there Russia, when I’m sistah with a fuckin’ were people actually from Argen- chicken wing in his aiming for me! tina. How short is beard and his whiny If I wanted to the bus you take to shorty right there get hit, I’d still the arena? cryin’ about some- date that foot- thin’. ball player SHEEEEEIIIIIIT! from college!

Are you looking forward to the playoffs?

I guess so. Fuck yes, bitch be Too cold to sit needin’ her ben- in the Wrig- jamins! Gots to ley bleach- keep rollin wit’ my Sort of, would be ers and have brown and blunts. better if losers were frat boys Why you be hatin’? thrown in Gulag, buy us mai- Need lots of playoff like my grade-school tais. Though games, I got expen- teams. last August sive tastes and shit. I woke up Can’t be seen in no naked in a hoopdie! hotel room in SHEEEEEIT! Naperville. The Fight Card HAWKS vs. JACKETS Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing 3-13-09 Walker vs. 2nd. Jackass Boll throws an elbow up at legendary Boll 13:55 toughie Campbell, Walker defends his partner √ √ with several rights. 11-1-08 Fraser vs. 1st. Fraser challenges Scandanavian much larger Tollefson 3:14 than he, and takes the worst of it. We must √ conclude Fraser hates Scandanavians, simply because it’s fun to do so. 3-26-08 Seabrook vs. 3rd. Rome bumps Biscuit on the way back to the Rome 18:40 bench, linesmen get in but #7 is able to land √ an upper-cut between them. 11-14-07 Vandermeer 3rd. Our favorite Nash moment ever. After taking vs. Nash 20:00 several shots from Vandy, calls for referees to √ √ stop the fight. All heart, Nash.

What To Watch For: Maybe some events. These two just played, are still chasing points desperately, and the Blue Jackets can frus- trate any opponent. Jackass Boll is the Jackets’ leader with 23 forays into the physical, and he was running around a bit on Sunday. Pulls that again on UC ice, someone might have something to say. Power Play Kill Team Opp PPG PP% Team OPP PPG PP% Team TS PPGA PK% Team TS PPGA PK% DET 342 87 25.4 MTL 364 69 19 NYR 322 38 88.2 VAN 360 69 80.8 WSH 329 83 25.2 VAN 345 65 18.8 MIN 284 35 87.7 NYI 352 68 80.7 SJS 343 84 24.5 CAR 368 67 18.2 NSH 329 54 83.6 WSH 381 74 80.6 ANA 301 70 23.3 TBL 333 60 18 STL 351 58 83.5 CHI 322 63 80.4 BOS 301 69 22.9 CGY 346 61 17.6 CGY 339 56 83.5 NJD 317 63 80.1 PHI 306 67 21.9 PIT 353 61 17.3 LAK 351 58 83.5 ANA 375 75 80 BUF 348 73 21 NYI 307 53 17.3 SJS 295 49 83.4 CAR 291 59 79.7 STL 341 70 20.5 EDM 349 59 16.9 BOS 293 50 82.9 COL 307 63 79.5 NJD 296 58 19.6 FLA 299 49 16.4 FLA 303 52 82.8 DAL 318 69 78.3 MIN 317 62 19.6 COL 305 49 16.1 PHI 384 66 82.8 TBL 393 86 78.1 OTT 333 65 19.5 NSH 308 48 15.6 MTL 361 63 82.6 DET 314 69 78 TOR 320 62 19.4 DAL 345 52 15.1 PIT 337 59 82.5 EDM 332 76 77.1 LAK 352 68 19.3 PHX 332 47 14.2 CBJ 331 58 82.5 PHX 281 65 76.9 CHI 353 68 19.3 NYR 340 47 13.8 BUF 324 59 81.8 ATL 353 86 75.6 ATL 345 66 19.1 CBJ 318 41 12.9 OTT 336 64 81 TOR 303 76 74.9 Spotlight Steve Mason

It’s clearly the obvious choice, but any discussion of Columbus begins and ends with Steve Mason. He’s made all that Versteeg- for-the-Calder talk seem pretty silly, as he’s a sure bet to take that one home. He’d probably be a leading contender for the Vezina, too, if it wasn’t for Tim Thomas’s deal with the devil. He’ll still be a finalist for that, with his league-leading 10 shutouts. Sure, he doesn’t face that many chances most nights, the Blue Jackets are 4th in the league in shots against. Most of those are from the outside as well, as the entire point of Columbus’s game is to keeps shots to the outside. But with a team that’s 21st in scoring, and woefully dead-last in the power play, Mason has an awfully small margin for error, and has made all the saves the Jackets have needed. He’s second in the league in goals-against, and 8th in SV % to go with all the no-no’s. However, you begin to wonder if he isn’t starting to tire, just a little, from the strain of being ridden so hard by coach Ken Hitch- cock (a fucking Budweiser Clydesdale would struggle under that ride). Though he certainly looked sharp against the Hawks on Sunday, that came after coughing up eight goals in two games against St. Louis, and another four to Nashville. There have been good perfor- mances mixed in there too, but the consistency is starting to drop, ever so slightly. It would seem like an awful big ask of a rookie to start 60 games and walk the tightrope that the Blue Jackets style presents, but that’s the charge Mason has been given. For the most part, he’s flourished, and he’s gotten Columbus to their first postseason, which was the stated goal. It’s questionable how much will be left in the tank in order to make any noise once there, however. Still, this kid will be a problem in our division for a long, long time. The Committed Indian is printed by Royal Omega Graphics- Elk Grove, IL 847-952-8000 [email protected] KNOW THY ENEMY For the final time this year, Bethany from Bethany’s Hockey Brassard also played on the “Goat Line” (Chimera, Brass, Rants on Kukla’s Korner is patient enough to put up with and Voracek) and that was our best line at the beginning of our shit. God bless her. the season. I think the Blue Jackets have finally found their top So now that the playoffs are assured (barring an epic line center. Brassard can do anything, score, pass, and he and hilarious collapse), what is the feeling in Colum- can skate beautifully. bus? Are they getting more attention than what soror- ity girl was getting spit roasted by however many OSU The biggest obstacle to your playoff success would be football players? the flaming mess that is your power play. Vancouver I think it’s nerves. We are waiting until the Jackets clinch will take its share of penalties, so you need to bury to get excited. There was so much tension in the arena on your chances when they do. Why has your power play Sunday it was ridiculous. I have noticed that there appear struggled so? Talent? System? to be more Blue Jacket fans popping up on the internets. Our power play has never really been that great. I think That has to be good. Also, a collapse would cause me to this season we missed have a right handed shot, and we have a heart attack and die, so please no epic fail. missed having a guy on the point and when we got Wil- liams we put him down low, it doesn’t make sense to me, So who do you want to catch in Round 1, Vancouver or because we have guys that can score, it’s just a matter of Calgary? doing it when we have the man advantage. I definitely I think it’s looking more like Calgary....but either way there don’t think that the system has anything to do with it. are two VERY goaltenders for either team. I really like It has been better since Hitchcock kind of took over or the drama that comes with the Calgary series. A Flames helped it along or whatever he did. vs. Jackets series would rip my family apart, and I couldn’t think of a better first round opponent to beat. You’ve had a full month with him now, what has An- If it is Vancouver, then yeah, 10 goals scored, 9 by toine Vermette shaken out as? the Jackets and 1 by the Nucks, Jackets win the series in 5 AMAZING. I love Vermette! He is a gorgeous skater, and games no problem. Haha. makes beautiful passes. He has chemistry on nearly every line he’s on. He can play in any situation. Great in We’ve heard Brassard might be back for the playoffs. my eyes. I don’t miss Pazzy at all. How big would that be? Tell Hawks fans how good this kid is.... Ok, really, Nash got dumped on his ass twice by Oshie? Oh Brass, he won’t be back until at least May, so we would FUCK OSHIE. have to win a playoff series first. If he comes back it would be HUGE. The top line with Nash - Brassard - Huselius was easily one of the best lines probably in Jackets history. Hawks-BJ’s: the Last 4

April 5th, 2009: Hawks 1, BJs 0 (OT) March 18th, 2009: Hawks 3, BJs 4 (OT) One of the better games of the year. Tight, tense, Hawks take the lead twice, and Huet contrives to and eventful, like fucking a teenager. Both Mason cough both of them up with some of the dumber and Khabby makes some incredible saves, before goals you’re likely to see. Vermette wins it in over VERSTEEG! ends it. time after out-skating Campbell, who was advertised as fast once.

March 13th, 2009: BJs 5, Hawks 3 Dec. 14th, 2008: BJs 1, Hawks 3 Hawks fight back in 2nd from 2-0 down to tie, only #4 of The December March To The Sea. Sharp to somehow manage to give up a PP-goal late in scores with less than a second left in the 2nd to tie it, period that they never come back from. Typical Havlat bags the winner halfway through the 3rd to Huet game, big saves to keep Hawks in game that win a contest that was an absolute glass-chew. he let get away in the first place. Hockey Sabermetrics CHICAGO Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calcu- lated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. GFON/60, GAON/60- Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/ minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60. NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Aaron Johnson -0.03 -0.19 11.68 3.57 1.43 2.14 2.19 2.03 0.15 1.99 Andrew Ladd 0.1 0.15 12.85 3.58 2.43 1.15 2.28 2.01 0.26 0.89 Duncan Keith 0.08 0.12 18.45 3.21 2.18 1.02 2.44 2.2 0.24 0.78 N. Hjalmarsson 0 -0.14 12.5 1.2 1.2 0 2.42 3.11 -0.69 0.69 Martin Havlat 0.05 0.14 13.46 3.58 2.58 1 2.28 1.96 0.32 0.68 Adam Burish -0.07 -0.11 7.16 2.34 1.37 0.96 2.68 2.27 0.42 0.55 Dave Bolland 0.1 0.25 12.58 3.33 2.51 0.82 2.38 2.02 0.36 0.46 Troy Brouwer 0.02 -0.1 11.45 2.46 1.72 0.74 2.73 2.29 0.44 0.3 Brent Seabrook 0.09 0.24 16.46 2.75 2.08 0.66 2.59 2.16 0.43 0.23 0.02 -0.07 13.3 2.81 2.23 0.59 2.58 2.09 0.49 0.1 Matt Walker -0.03 -0.13 14.05 2.63 1.99 0.64 2.5 1.96 0.54 0.1 Colin Fraser -0.11 -0.14 7.78 2.23 1.72 0.51 2.77 2.18 0.59 -0.08 Dustin Byfuglien -0.01 -0.06 11.88 2.03 1.61 0.42 2.94 2.38 0.55 -0.13 Ben Eager -0.11 -0.12 8.36 2.25 1.84 0.41 2.71 2.11 0.6 -0.19 0.02 -0.12 12.07 2.42 2.08 0.34 2.76 2.22 0.54 -0.2 Patrick Kane 0.02 -0.06 13.77 2.44 2.27 0.17 2.6 2.12 0.48 -0.31 Patrick Sharp 0 -0.01 12.94 2.58 2.13 0.46 2.88 1.94 0.94 -0.48 Brian Campbell -0.02 -0.03 17.01 2.61 2.52 0.09 2.67 1.9 0.77 -0.68 Cam Barker -0.03 -0.07 13.38 1.99 2.42 -0.43 2.8 2.01 0.8 -1.22 Samuel Pahlsson 0.06 -0.73 12.44 1.63 2.64 -1.01 2.81 1.94 0.87 -1.88 Brent Sopel -0.1 -0.05 10.89 2.16 3.11 -0.96 3.22 2.25 0.97 -1.93 Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn This is a measure of a team’s goals-for This measures how many goals a team Shots attempted for a team vs. how many are at- per 60 minutes of player being on the gives up per 60 minutes the player is on tempted against while a given player is on the ice, vs. Taken ice on the power play the ice on the PK. per 60 min. . Player GFON/60 Player GA/60 NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Cam Barker 9.98 Troy Brouwer 4.48 Jonathan Toews 18.3 Adam Burish 1.9 1.4 Troy Brouwer 8.45 Aaron Johnson 5.71 Martin Havlat 16.8 Ben Eager 1.5 2.3 Patrick Sharp 7.93 Adam Burish 5.76 Troy Brouwer 14.6 Patrick Kane 1.5 0.9 Patrick Kane 7.82 Duncan Keith 6.22 Brian Campbell 14.5 Colin Fraser 1.4 0.6 Jonathan Toews 7.37 Brent Seabrook 6.24 Patrick Kane 14.4 Kris Versteeg 1.4 0.6 Brian Campbell 6.88 Brent Sopel 6.43 Andrew Ladd 13.6 Dave Bolland 1.3 0.8 Dustin Byfuglien 5.8 Colin Fraser 6.76 Patrick Sharp 12.9 Jonathan Toews 1.3 0.8 Duncan Keith 5.68 Kris Versteeg 6.93 Duncan Keith 12.7 Patrick Sharp 1.3 0.8 Martin Havlat 5.66 Samuel Pahlsson 7.07 Brent Seabrook 12.2 Andrew Ladd 1.2 0.7 Brent Seabrook 5.16 Cam Barker 7.22 Kris Versteeg 12.2 Troy Brouwer 1.2 0.9 Kris Versteeg 4.95 Matt Walker 7.29 Dustin Byfuglien 11.2 Martin Havlat 1.1 0.6 Dave Bolland 8.46 Cam Barker 10.5 Dustin Byfuglien 1.1 1.2 N. Hjalmarsson 13.82 Dave Bolland 10.2 Aaron Johnson 0.9 1.7 Matt Walker 8.7 Brent Sopel 0.5 1 Face-offs Ben Eager 8.3 Matt Walker 0.4 0.6 Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Adam Burish 7.4 Brian Campbell 0.4 0.4 Jonathan Toews 1227 54.6 Aaron Johnson 6.6 Samuel Pahlsson 0.4 1.1 Samuel Pahlsson 1188 53.6 N. Hjalmarsson 3.6 Brent Seabrook 0.3 0.8 Colin Fraser 750 47.7 Colin Fraser 2.8 Duncan Keith 0.1 0.9 Dave Bolland 1121 44.4 Brent Sopel -4.3 Cam Barker 0.1 0.6 Total Rank: 23rd 48.0 Samuel Pahlsson -10.5 N. Hjalmarsson 0 0 Hockey Sabermetrics COLUMBUS

NAME QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Aaron Rome -0.17 -0.32 13.37 2.99 1.5 1.5 2.23 3.06 -0.84 2.33 Jason Chimera -0.04 0.2 11.46 3.41 2.16 1.25 2.16 2.4 -0.23 1.48 Jakub Voracek -0.02 0.1 10.28 3.34 2.35 0.99 2.35 2.15 0.2 0.79 Rick Nash 0.04 -0.03 14.35 3.12 2.4 0.72 2.3 2.24 0.05 0.67 Jason Williams 0 -0.14 12.07 2.84 2.65 0.19 2.38 2.79 -0.41 0.61 Jan Hejda 0.09 -0.08 17.38 2.93 2.23 0.7 2.36 2.25 0.11 0.59 Manny Malhotra 0.03 -0.06 13.4 2.6 1.94 0.67 2.54 2.24 0.3 0.36 Fredrik Modin 0.03 -0.09 12.59 2.48 1.91 0.57 2.74 2.44 0.3 0.28 Marc Methot -0.04 -0.07 15.25 3 2.68 0.31 2.47 2.13 0.34 -0.03 Christian Backman -0.07 -0.12 12.46 2.15 1.63 0.52 2.7 2.11 0.59 -0.08 Raffi Torres -0.03 -0.25 10.98 2.5 2.39 0.11 2.72 2.47 0.25 -0.14 Fedor Tyutin 0.02 -0.03 15.93 2.57 2.34 0.24 2.57 2.19 0.39 -0.15 Mike Commodore 0.08 0.1 17.4 2.65 2.43 0.22 2.53 2.14 0.38 -0.16 Rusty Klesla 0.02 -0.03 15.79 2.19 1.61 0.58 3.09 2.33 0.76 -0.18 Antoine Vermette 0.03 -0.1 12.45 1.97 2.47 -0.51 2.18 2.49 -0.31 -0.2 Kristian Huselius 0.04 0.16 14.74 2.92 2.81 0.11 2.48 2.12 0.37 -0.26 Jiri Novotny 0.04 -0.11 11.44 1.75 1.61 0.13 3.09 2.54 0.54 -0.41 Kris Russell -0.15 -0.06 11.85 1.93 2.17 -0.24 2.69 2.3 0.39 -0.63 Derek Dorsett -0.01 -0.29 8.68 1.13 1.55 -0.42 2.66 2.39 0.27 -0.69 R.J. Umberger 0.04 0.08 13.24 2.41 2.64 -0.23 2.64 2.08 0.57 -0.8 Chris Gratton -0.09 -0.29 8.34 1.5 1.8 -0.3 2.4 1.85 0.55 -0.85 Michael Peca 0 -0.18 10.24 2.29 2.72 -0.42 2.55 1.98 0.57 -0.99 Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn This measures how many shots are attempted for a Power Play Ratings Penalty Kill Ratings team vs. how many are attempted against while a vs. Taken This is a measure of a team’s goals for This measures how many goals a given player is on the ice, per 60 min. per 60 minutes of player being on the team gives up per 60 minutes the ice on the power play. player is on the ice on the PK. NAME CORSI NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 Player GFON/60 Player GAON/60 Christian Backman 13.8 Derek Dorsett 2.5 1.6 Antoine Vermette 7.15 Rosti Klesla 3.18 Kris Russell 10.7 Jared Boll 1.7 0.8 Jason Williams 5.99 Jason Chimera 3.21 Marc Methot 10.6 O.K. Tollefson 1.6 1.6 Kris Russell 5.38 Jiri Novotny 4.15 O.K. Tollefson 9.9 Rick Nash 1.4 0.9 Fedor Tyutin 5.3 Fedor Tyutin 4.75 Aaron Rome 9.7 R.J. Umberger 1.3 0.6 Kristian Huselius 4.82 Marc Methot 5.73 Kristian Huselius 9.4 Fredrik Modin 1.2 1.2 Fredrik Modin 4.77 Jan Hejda 5.79 Rick Nash 8.4 Jiri Novotny 1.2 0.7 Rick Nash 4.56 Andrew Murray 5.86 Fedor Tyutin 7.6 Raffi Torres 1 0.8 Jakub Voracek 4.32 A. Vermette 5.93 Jakub Voracek 5.2 Kris Russell 1 0.4 R.J. Umberger 4.31 Michael Peca 6.33 Fredrik Modin 5.1 Kristian Huselius 0.9 0.9 Jason Chimera 4.15 M. Malhotra 6.61 Jiri Novotny 4 Andrew Murray 0.9 0.5 Christian Backman Mi. Commodore 6.77 Jason Chimera 3.8 Jason Chimera 0.8 1 2.52 R.J. Umberger 6.78 Andrew Murray 3.4 Jason Williams 0.8 0.6 Rick Nash 7.59 Manny Malhotra 1.8 Christian Backman 0.8 0.9 Chris Gratton 8.37 R.J. Umberger 1.8 Antoine Vermette 0.8 0.8 Raffi Torres 1.1 Marc Methot 0.7 1.1 Face-offs Derek Dorsett 0.8 Rusty Klesla 0.6 1 Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Rusty Klesla -0.2 Chris Gratton 0.6 1.2 Manny Malhotra 1314 58.1 Jared Boll -0.4 Fedor Tyutin 0.5 1 Antoine Vermette 1053 58.1 Michael Peca -0.9 Jakub Voracek 0.4 0.8 Michael Peca 822 49.9 Jason Williams -3.7 Jan Hejda 0.4 0.7 R.J. Umberger 840 48.0 Jan Hejda -4.8 Manny Malhotra 0.4 0.5 Total: Rank: 9th 51.2 Referee Stats For The Hawks

Referees 1st NHL Hawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/ W L OTL Game PK’s Game 2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 3 14 17 10.3 4.7 5.7 3 0 0 3 Leggo, Mike 1997 5 19 22 8.2 3.8 4.4 4 0 1 4 McCauley, Wes 2003 5 11 14 5.0 2.2 2.8 2 2 0 5 Rooney, Chris 2000 2 6 2 4.0 3.0 1.0 2 0 0 6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 3 14 11 8.3 4.7 3.7 1 2 0 7 McCreary, Bill 1984 5 25 19 8.8 5 3.8 3 3 0 8 Jackson, Dave 1990 6 28 24 8.7 4.7 4.0 4 1 1 10 Devorski, Paul 1989 4 15 25 10 3.7 6.2 1 3 0 11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 2 11 14 12.5 5.5 7 0 2 0 12 Koharski, Don 1981 4 19 20 9.8 4.8 5.0 3 0 1 13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 6 34 23 9.5 5.6 3.8 3 2 1 14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 6 28 24 8.6 4.3 4 4 1 1 15 Auger, Stephane 2000 5 25 17 8.4 5 3.4 4 0 1 16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1 18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 5 26 25 10.2 5.2 5.0 3 2 0 20 Peel, Tim 1999 5 21 20 8.2 4.2 4.2 3 2 0 21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 4 17 10 6.7 4.2 2.5 2 0 2 23 Watson, Brad 1996 4 15 8 5.7 3.7 2 2 1 1 25 Joannette, Marc 1999 3 19 7 8.6 6.3 2.3 2 0 1 26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0 27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 6 27 26 8.8 4.5 4.3 2 3 1 28 Lee, Chris 2001 2 11 10 10.5 5.5 5 1 1 0 29 Walsh, Ian 2000 2 2 5 3.5 1.0 2.5 1 1 0 30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 5 26 24 9.6 5.2 4.8 1 2 2 32 Kowal, Tom 2000 5 16 13 5.8 3.2 2.6 5 0 0 33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 4 14 15 7.2 3.5 3.7 1 1 2 34 Meier, Brad 1999 5 17 23 8.0 3.4 4.6 4 1 0 35 Warren, Dean 1999 ------36 Morton, Dean 2000 3 24 13 12.3 8.0 4.3 1 1 1 38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1 39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 5 30 24 10.8 6 4.8 3 0 2 40 Kozari, Steve 2006 5 30 23 10.6 6 4.6 2 2 1 42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 3 17 15 10.6 5.6 5 2 0 1 43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 3 12 14 8.6 4 4.6 2 1 0 45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 6 29 26 9.2 4.8 4.3 3 1 2

NHL LEADERS Goals Points GAA SV%

Player Team G Player Team P Player Team GAA Player Team SV% 1 A. Ovechkin WAS 55 1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 110 1 Tim Thomas BOS 2.07 1 Tim Thomas BOS .933 2 PHI 45 2 A. Ovechkin WAS 108 2 Steve Mason CBJ 2.22 2 T. Vokoun FLA .926 3 Zach Parise NJ 44 3 S. Crosby PIT 101 3 Pekka Rinne NSH 2.20 3 Craig Anderson FLA .924 4 I. Kovalchuk ATL 42 4 Pavel Datsyuk DET 97 4 N. Backstrom MIN 2.31 4 N. Backstrom MIN .923 5 M. Hossa DET 40 5 Zach Parise NJ 93 5 Jonas Hiller ANA 2.32 5 Pekka Rinne NSH .920 16 J. Toews CHI 33 26 Martin Havlat CHI 73 6 N. Khabibulin CHI 2.38 8 N. Khabibulin CHI .918

Block Party At Some Point, This Shall Not Pass He’s a spotlight guy and relishes in being the focus of attention. There’s nothing Redefining the brand that is the Chicago Blackhawks so far has gone more swift or inherently wrong with that (unless you’re someone who prefers your hockey players smooth than anyone could’ve ever imagined. But rougher waters remain ahead and be the dumbed-down farmboy rednecks Hockey unknowingly portrays them key decisions on highly-touted prospects and their easily-detectable imperfections are, as) as long as his on-ice discretions don’t get in the way of the team’s goals. But in in some cases, only months away. Beach’s case, you can debate they have. To date, the following passages may quickly be discerned as rookie mis- Arguably his most deplorable 2008-09 suspension (of three) played out takes or crossing the learning curve. However, warning signs are clear and evident. near the end of a blowout loss at the on Feb. 21. Beach (6’3 Dale Tallon has drafted several players of questionable character during his tenure as – 220), entering the play off a line change, snuck behind diminutive Tigers’ center Blackhawks’ GM and those individuals’ arrivals are on the immediate horizon. Brennan Bosch (5’7 – 169) and jumped the unexpecting skill player, pummeling him One prospect at the forefront of those concerns is Akim Aliu, who we’ll with fists to the back and side of the head before wrestling him to the ground. It was pertinently deem “The Nigerian Nightmare.” A fearsome force on the ice, Aliu was a scene which could’ve easily been reminiscent of the infamous Todd Bertuzzi/Steve born in Okene, Nigeria on April 24, 1989 but was raised until the age of eleven in Moore episode (the right hand to the back of the head that ended Moore’s career) had , where his mother hailed and father was an athlete. By 12, Aliu and his Bosch not seen Beach approaching in a split second’s notice. Beach received a three- family moved to the Toronto area. Until then, Aliu did not know the sport of hockey game suspension for his actions. A full-out line brawl ensued. existed. By the age of 16, he played on elite midget teams in Toronto and was a team- Beach started this season with his original junior team, Everett Silvertips. mate of future ’ 2007 1st round pick Sam Gagner. And in four short He was traded to the Lethbridge Hurricanes on Jan. 6 as the ‘Canes years, he’d become one of Canada’s hottest young prospects. stacked up for a playoff drive. He didn’t take long to make an impres- Aliu’s junior hockey career began in Windsor as a 16-year sion. old rookie in the . But his stay there would In his first seven games with Lethbridge, Beach scored seven be short after a rookie hazing incident orchestrated by team veterans, goals and three assists. The last of those seven though was the most including current NHL agitator , befell a major team notable; an empty-net shot that ignited a good ‘ol teenage-line brawl. blow up. As Beach strode alone into, again, the Medicine Hat zone, he slowed On a bus ride back from Sept. 9, 2005 preseason game in down, turned towards the oncoming ‘Hat checkers and eventually London, Ontario, Downie and other vets ordered the rookies (report- fired the puck into the empty Tigers’ goal with more emphasis than edly six or seven), including Aliu, to strip nude and cram into the rear was necessary. In response to this, a Medicine Hat player hurled bus bathroom, which was the equivalent in size of a airplane labora- his stick at Beach resulting in everyone on the ice converging into tory. Aliu refused, as he did for any subsequent rookie ‘initiation’ ritu- the space Beach had picked to celebrate. All gloves were dropped als. In some eyes, Aliu’s actions were seen as insubordination. Others and each hammered his frustrations on the other. Beach was not saw a young man steadfastly guarding his morals. Chris Block suspended. Tensions between Aliu and Downie escalated to a boiling But three nights later karma caught up with the controversial point later that month when the two exchange words during a practice centre. After the regulation clock timed out in a 5-3 loss at Red Deer, leading to Downie charging Aliu from the bench and cross-checking the rookie in the Beach erroneously fired a wicked slap shot over the glass and into the crowd, injuring mouth, chipping three of Aliu’s teeth. Aliu received brief treatment before returning a male fan. For that, he received a three-game suspension. Beach most recently was to the practice and challenging Downie to a fight. The two brawled and both sus- suspended for one playoff game for cross-checking defenseman Jyri pended by the team. Downie never played for Windsor again and Aliu was eventually Niemi in the head on Mar. 20. traded to his second OHL team, Sudbury, and his second of four stops in four OHL , now the head coach of Chicago’s AHL affiliate Rockford Ice- seasons. Hogs, was fined last year by the WHL for being quoted as saying Beach was a “high Perhaps the lingering stain on Aliu’s reputation in Windsor was his father maintenance guy” as well as saying Beach’s on-ice behavior is simply “a charade” and Tai’s accusation that his son’s teammates frequently threw racial slurs in the younger “schtick.” Peters was the head coach of the Spokane Chiefs, an intra-state rival of the Aliu’s direction, including allegedly referring to him as “8 Ball.” After another OHL Everett Silvertips (Beach’s junior team up until this past January), at the time. Ironi- investigation, those accusations were dismissed. cally, he may be more right than mistaken in his assessment. But Aliu has created his own troubles as well. He’s walked out on coaches 2008 third-round draft pick Shawn Lalonde, a wiry slick-skating offensive on multiple occasions and has been sent home for team disciplinary reasons more defenseman, quit his junior team, the Belleville Bulls, for a day in late February after times than even Antonio Alfonseca’s hand can signal. a dispute with his coach over how Lalonde, 18, felt he should be used. After the dis- This spring Aliu was sent away from the ’ preseason camp agreement, Lalonde chose not to join his teammates for a bus trip to Brampton, and a to “get his head straight.” After an impressive summer rookie camp in Chicago, where first-place showdown game the next day, leaving an already injury-depleted Belleville Aliu arguably turned in the Hawks’ best performances, Aliu too believed his own group another player short for the all-important game. When Belleville returned home hype. As he told the Canadian Press in August, “Hopefully my junior career is over.” after the Brampton game, Lalonde met with his coach and agreed to return to the team Knights’ head coach, and former ’ center, Dale Hunter with both sides suggesting he never “quit” the team. was none too impressed with Aliu’s effort in the ensuing OHL preseason camp, ac- Lalonde told the Belleville Intelligencer, “I looked at everyone of my cusing Aliu of saving himself for upcoming Hawks’ camp and half-assing drills. As teammates and told them I wouldn’t do anything stupid like that again. I told them, a veteran entering his final season of junior eligibility, Hunter couldn’t accept Aliu’s that yes, I may be mad at [head coach George Burnett] sometimes but I can’t take it behavior and dismissed him from London’s camp and put Aliu on a plane to Chicago personally and I have to move on.” four days earlier than planned. 2005 sixth-round draft selection and University of New Hamphire co- When Aliu’s NHL camp was derailed by a groin injury, Aliu returned to captain Joe Charlebois was ruled academically ineligible in January by the NCAA London with mixed emotions and fought back and forth with Hunter. Things came to for the second half of his senior season. Charlebois, who turned 23 in February, is a a head after the Christmas break when Aliu was unwilling to adhere to coach Hunter’s right-shooting defensive defenseman who led all UNH Wildcats in plus/minus last sea- rules and was again, for the third time in four months, sent home. Aliu was traded son. For his ‘efforts’ Charlebois was rewarded with an amateur-tryout contract with back to Sudbury two weeks later and recently finished his junior career there after Rockford in February and has appeared in eleven games so far, registering one assist, a first round playoff loss to Belleville. Aliu was then assigned to Rockford by the thirteen penalty minutes and an even plus/minus rating. Blackhawks. In two games he has seen limited time on the third line and has already Don’t dismiss these insubordinations and trials or think they’re going un- been booted from a game for verbally abusing a referee. noticed by those in the Hawks’ front office with more pull than Dale Tallon. At some Aliu is a tremendous prospect though with an amazing upside if he can point, a message will be sent to these and all Blackhawks’ prospects that behavior like allow himself to be led by the best teachers and compadres in the game. He’s strong- those outlined above will not be tolerated. John McDonough’s background is in pro- willed and defiant, but now he’s arrived to the pro-level and maybe he’s ready to moting a fun, friendly environment both on and off the field of play. Aliu and Beach learn? Or will the Nightmare’s reign be just that? in particular skate in stark contrast to current flag bearers Messrs Kane andToews. Kyle Beach however, for sure, is trouble in waiting. Kyle’s on-ice behavior Their anticipated fall arrivals to the NHL club will test the Blackhawks’ locker room has observers and scouts split into two schools of thought. Either Beach is a childish, chemistry, if not McD’s patience. irrational egotist or a staunch believer in the Sean Avery-school of antagonism. Take your pick. [email protected] It’s not like Beach is a bad kid. From all reports, he’s a stand-up person in TheThirdManIn.com, puckchatter.net the dressing room, always available to the media and never avoids the tough questions. The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Samuel Pahlsson (COL 7th round 1996) and Brian Campbell (BUF 6th Logan Stephenson (PHX 2nd round 2004) from round 1997 ANA for James Wisniewski (CHI 5th round Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2002) and Petri Kontiola (CHI 7th round 2004) 2001) Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000) 1995) Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations. Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001) 2005-2006 Niklas Hjalmarsson (4th round) Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI round 1992) 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Van- Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) dermeer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) Adam Burish (9th round)

COACHES GM HISTORY Head Coach-Joel Quenneville Dale Tallon (2005-Present) Assistant Coach-John Torchetti Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Mike Smith (2001-2004) Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Bob Murray (1999-2000) Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite The Making of The Columbus Blue Jackets

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Nikita Filatov (1st round) Antoine Vermette (OTT 2nd round 2000) for Kristian Huselius (FLA 2nd round (CLB 1st round 2001) and 2009 1997) 2nd round pick R.J. Umberger (VAN 1st round Jason Williams (DET Undrafted FA 2000) 2001) from ATL for (ANA Undrafted FA Mike Commodore (NJ 2nd round 2006) and 2009 6th round pick 1999) Raffi Torres (NYI 1st round 2000) from EDM Chris Gratton (TB 1st round 1993)- for Gilbert Brule (CBJ 1st round 2005) off Wade Dubielewicz (NYI Undrafted FA 2003) - off waivers 2007-2008 Jakub Voracek (1st round) Fedor Tyutin (NYR 2nd round 2001) and Jiri Novotny (BUF 1st round 2001) Christian Backman (STL 1st round 1996) Michael Peca (VAN 2nd round from NYR for Nikolai Zherdev (CBJ 1st round 1992) 2003) and Dan Fristche (CBJ 2nd round 2003) Jan Hejda (BUF 4th round 2003) Aaron Rome (LAK 4th round 2002) from ANA for (CBJ Undrafted FA 2005) 2006-2007 Derick Brassard (1st round) Fredrik Modin (TB 3rd round 1994) and Fre- Steve Mason (3rd round) drik Norrena (TB 7th round 2001) from TB for Derek Dorsett (7th round) Marc Denis (COL 1st round 1995) 2005-2006 Kris Russell (3rd round) Jason Chimera (EDM 5th round 1997), Cale Jared Boll (4th round) Hulse (NJ 3rd round 1992, and (NJ 3rd round 2000) from PHX for (HAR 2nd round 1990) and (CBJ 2nd round 2001) 2004-2005 2003-2004 Marc Methot (6th round) Manny Malhotra (NYR 1st round 1997) 2002-2003 Rick Nash (1st round) Ole Tollefson (3rd round) 2001-2002 Andrew Murray (8th round) 2000-2001 Rostislav Klesla (1st round)

COACHES GM HISTORY Head Coach- 2007-Present: Asst. Coach- Gary Agnew 2007: Jim Clark (interim) Asst. Coach- Gord Murphy 1998-2007: Doug MacLean Asst. Coach- Claude Noel Goaltending Coach- Clint Malarchuk The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 23-9-7 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 2-4-1 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 18-11-4 Playing on road...... 21-15-4 Taking 30 or more shots...... 33-16-8 Are even close on face-offs..... 26-13-7 Scoring first...... 31-5-4 Taking less than 30 shots..... 11-8-3 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 37-18-11 Opponent scores first...... 13-19-7 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 17-9-6 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 5-2-1 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 27-15-5 during 4-on-4...... 37-17-11 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 18-6-6 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 22-8-7 Pat Foley screws up a name...... 42-19-11 Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 5-6-3 Ice Crew wear skirts...... 7-1-3 Shoot the puck bimbo is a former Fifth Feather Flame .... 1-0-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 8-5-1 Ice Crew wear pants...... 3-1-0 Playing on a Monday...... 2-2-1 Opponent played night before.... 10-5-2 Ice Crew wear shorts.... 13-7-4 Playing on a Tuesday...... 7-4-0 Taking more than 5 penalties..... 16-16-5 Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-1-0 Playing on a Wednesday...... 10-1-3 Taking 5 or less penalties.... 28-8-6 Leading after 2 periods...... 34-2-3 Playing on a Thursday...... 2-3-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 8-5-6 Losing after 2 periods...... 2-17-4 Playing on a Friday...... 6-4-4 Burish takes a penalty...... 8-6-2 Tied after 2 periods...... 8-5-4 Playing on a Saturday...... 7-5-3 Keith takes a penalty...... 14-5-2 In overtime...... 6-5 Playing on a Sunday...... 10-5-0 Sharp takes a penalty...... 10-3-2 In shootout...... 4-6 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Toews takes a penalty..... 10-5-3 Cam Barker plays...... 36-20-8 Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 43-22-10 Havlat takes a penalty.... 8-3-1 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 6-2-3 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 10-18-4 Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1 Lacking a #2 center...... 38-22-9 Outshoot opponent...... 33-14-6 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-5 In 1-goal games..... 12-7-11 Are outshot by opponent.... 11-10-5 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 28-20-9 In 2-goal games...... 15-7-0 Havlat shies from contact...... 16-6-6 Toews is trying too hard...... 3-8-3 In 3-goal games...... 8-6-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 12-7-3 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 4-3-4 In 4+ goal games...... 8-3-0 Jonathan Toews scores...... 16-3-6 No fights in 300 Level..... 19-5-3 Scoring 3+ goals..... 40-7-7 Martin Havlat scores...... 18-4-1 Playing Eastern Conference..... 9-7-3 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 4-16-4 Patrick Sharp scores...... 16-4-2 Playing Western Conference..... 35-18-8 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 8-2-1 Playing Central Division...... 8-7-6 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 23-9-7 Dustin Byfuglien wins a foot-race??!!!!!..... 2-1-0 Playing Northwest Division.... 12-6-1 PA plays Stranglehold...... 8-3-4 Andrew Ladd scores...... 11-0-1 Playing Pacific Division 15-5-1 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Dave Bolland scores...... 11-1-4 Playing Atlantic Division 2-3-2 Fraser fights...... 7-3-1 Adam Burish scores...... 3-2-1, and totally ruins that joke Playing NASCAR Division 4-1-0 Burish fights...... 5-2-0 51 Phantom scores...... 3-2-1 Playing Northeast Division 3-2-1 Seabrook fights..... 1-0-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 5-3-0 Playing in October.... 4-3-3 Barker fights...... 0-0-2 Brent Seabrook scores...... 5-1-1 Playing in November.... 6-3-3 Buff fights...... 1-1-2 VerStud scores.... 13-7-1 Playing in December...... 10-1-1 Sharp fights...... 1-0-0 Troy Brouwer scores.... 8-0-0 Playing in January..... 7-6-1 Eager fights...... 10-4-1 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 29-10-9 Playing in February..... 7-4-1 On Comcast...... 34-13-8 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 15-13-2 Playing in March...... 6-7-2 On WGN...... 10-7-3 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 19-18-10 Playing in April...... 4-0-0 On Vs...... 0-3-0 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 25-6-1 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 23-5-7 On NBC.... 0-1-0 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 6-2-0 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 3-11-4 Judd Sirott hates Adam Creighton 43-24-11

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