1 the Practice of Dowry and the Incidence of Dowry Abuse in Australia: Men's Stories Mr Amar Singh My Name Is Mr Amar Singh An
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
The practice of dowry and the incidence of dowry abuse in Australia: Men’s Stories Mr Amar Singh My name is Mr Amar Singh and I am submitting this document in my capacity as a leader of the Indian community. I am the President and founder of Turbans 4 Australia, a registered Australian charity that engages in multicultural events and fundraising. As a White Ribbon ambassador, I have spoken at various family violence forums and raised awareness about domestic violence in subcontinental communities. In particular, this submission addresses the following terms of reference: b) the appropriateness and impacts of dowry as a cultural practice in modern Australia, taking account of our national commitment to gender equality and human rights, and approach to multiculturalism; c) reports of dowry abuse, including potential links to family violence, pretext for arranged marriage, forced marriage, modern day slavery, financial abuse, domestic servitude, murder, and other crimes, as well as any connections between dowry abuse and adverse mental health outcomes for affected women, including self-harm and suicide; d) the adequacy of the family law system, including how divorce and property settlement proceedings deal with dowry and dowry abuse, and the operation of and need for extra-jurisdictional (including international) enforcement mechanisms. Male Victims of Dowry Related Abuse Numerous men within the Indian community have told me they have been falsely accused of dowry abuse by their former wives, or are themselves victims of ‘reverse dowry’ abuse. The institution of dowry is not damaging simply to women or men; it is damaging to society as a whole. The aim of this submission is not to dismiss female victims of dowry abuse, but to emphasise that the negative impacts of dowry are multifaceted and that all victims should be protected by the law regardless of their gender. Reverse Dowry Reverse dowry occurs when men rather than women are expected to pay their spouse’s family upon marriage. Demands for reverse dowry are increasing partly because of the endemic practice of female infanticide. Although sex-selective abortion is illegal in India, it is still commonly practiced due to the preference for sons. This had created a skewed sex ratio in the Indian population, where there is a surplus of men and a deficit of women in the ‘marriage market’. As a result, women and their families are sometimes in a position to demand money from their husbands upon marriage. Indian families invest money in their sons to get a quality education and partake in prestigious professions such as medicine and engineering. If their son can provide a 1 better life to a woman in a country like Australia, they may expect a return on their ‘investment’. Likewise, daughters with high levels of education and prestigious jobs can also attract large sums of money from their husband’s family. On , Indian citizen married in India. As an Australian citizen, was in a position to demand money from , as the marriage would enable to attain Australian citizenship. As the process of gaining Australian residency can be very time consuming and costly, some Indian families expect to be paid when their child provides their spouse with the opportunity to also become a citizen and lead a better life. As per the requests of family, paid a total of 4 million Indian rupees (approximately $80,000 Australian dollars). Unbeknownst to , this was third marriage – and he was third victim. She has since refused to bring to Australia and has not returned any of the money. (Please see newspaper clipping, Appendix 26) Sham marriages Marriage advertisements in India often present women who have received high IELTS scores and are looking for a husband not only to support them financially, but also provide them with a means to live abroad. In some cases, couples that have met through such advertisements get married in India, and the husband’s family agrees to pay for the couple’s expenses of relocating to Australia – including the cost of obtaining visas. Once receiving a partner visa, the woman disappears, having obtained a path to permanent residency in Australia. These women do not include their husbands on their permanent visa application. In some cases, men whose visas have lapsed are placed in immigration detention. False Dowry Accusations In India, women do not need to provide proof supporting their claims of dowry abuse; they simply need to provide a statement to police, which prompts an investigation. In some cases, women accuse not only their husbands but also their husband’s relatives, including minors. In perhaps the most extreme case, a two-month-old baby was arrested. As dowry abuse is a non-bailable offence, the accused can be held in custody for months until their court hearing takes place. Due to the backlog of court cases in India, legal proceedings can last for years. Since anti-dowry laws have become active in Victoria, some men have been tried in both India and Australia for the same crime. Paying for two court proceedings simultaneously is a massive financial burden. An Australian resident in his mid-30s became a victim of false dowry claims after marrying an Indian woman in 2013. With the case against him still ongoing, he is now paying $300 to $500 per month for legal fees to keep his family in India out of prison, who have also been charged with dowry abuse. He cannot visit his family in India as his passport will be confiscated upon arrival, and he risks being arrested. His family cannot visit him in Australia as their passports have been removed. The victim is socially isolated and withdrawn, working two jobs to keep up with legal expenses. Another victim from Western Australia also has an ongoing legal case against him in India. He has not yet been found guilty of dowry abuse, but has already been ordered 2 to pay upwards of 200,000 rupees per month (roughly $4000 Australian dollars) to his ex-wife, making it difficult for him to maintain his life in Australia. Australia has a duty of care towards the almost half a million Indians who now call Australia home. Australia should help its citizens stuck in India with free legal advice, and assist with legal fees in appropriate circumstances. Ultimately, Australia and India need to increase their cooperation over dowry laws, reaching an agreement on how they will share responsibility in legal cases. Australia also needs to be aware that the Indian court system is filled with corruption, and people can be charged for crimes with little to no evidence against them. If the Australian High Commissioner in India is involved in investigations, they can keep the process fair and accountable. Impact on Mental health Male victims of dowry related abuse often struggle to cope with the stress and humiliation of being victimised. As many victims are left financially crippled, they are often unable to fulfil their culturally expected role of breadwinner and financial provider to their parents, siblings and children, creating an additional source of shame. Male victims experience depression and suicidal thoughts, as well as alcohol and drug addiction, while elderly parents often share the burden of shame and financial hardship with their son. In one case, a divorced Adelaide man with a pending dowry case in India went missing. He was eventually found in Melbourne, but the emotional strain of dealing with an ongoing legal case evidently contributed to his mental health breakdown. Yet men are left without adequate psychological support. Culturally sensitive counselling services are not widely available for male victims, unlike they are for women. There needs to be greater acknowledgement of male victims and availability of services specifically targeted at them. Divorce and International custody issues Australia and India are not signatories to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. Some fathers have not seen their children for three or four years as their partners have taken their children to India without gaining legal custody. Australian custody rulings are not recognised in India. A person who is born here has a right to grow up here. Although marriages conducted in India are recognised in Australia, divorces held in Australia are not recognised in India. If a divorced man wishes to remarry, he risks being charged of bigamy upon return to India. Note: All of the following case studies have been written by actual victims of dowry abuse and false dowry claims, or the relatives of a victim. They have been left unedited to capture the unique experiences and perspectives of each victim. 3 Appendix 1 Name Withheld Occupation: Employee with Queensland Government City of Residence: Brisbane Status : Australian citizen Came in Australia in 2005 on student visa Stuck in False Dowry Case : Got arranged marriage in 2010 with a girls from Rajasthan, India. After 2 yrs of waiting , she got residency in 2012. I did not have any idea that she had been just waiting for her Australian residency as she suddenly made plans to go to India. Once she went to India in May 2012 she stop picking up my phones and when I asked her family they simply said to me that I now I need to visit India to talk to them face to face, only then they will permit their daughter to talk me. I did not got to India and insist them to discuss over the phone or video calls to discuss whatever they had in their mind. I was keep waiting for her to come back , but I got to know that she went to India and then came back directly in Adelaide and started living with her Uni boyfriend.