“I'm a Comedian Because I Can't Do Anything Else ”
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ommy Little TV host, radio personality did it once, but he’s in no hurry and stand-up comic Tommy for a repeat Little tells Stellar about onstage performance. Last year, fails, clicking with kids and the 34-year- why he’d make television’s old comedian flummoxed his worst Bachelor ever social media followers by sharing photos of himself in some rather steamy poses: shirt off, physique taut, Tupper arm and shoulder muscles bulging and a rippling six-pack. “Only for charity,” he insists with a laugh. “And those days are done and dusted.” Little, the youngest of three children who was born and is still based in Melbourne, gets a lot of mileage out of the fact he’s still single. Google it: he talks about it. A lot. And if he weren’t so busy juggling his commitments on radio (co-hosting the Carrie & Tommy radio show alongside Carrie Bickmore), TV (a regular co-host on The Project, again with Bickmore) and stand- up gigs, he could probably land himself the plum gig as Australia’s next Bachelor. Not that he thinks much would come of it. “If I was ever to do The Bachelor, it would be the shortest season ever,” he tells Stellar. “Because I think the car door would open at the start and the girls would take one look and go, ‘Oh no!’ And shut the door and drive off.” His friend Peter Helliar, another Project colleague, isn’t so sure. Discussing one of Little’s early shows, which focused heavily on his lack of success in the dating department, Helliar recalls, “Watching this good-looking guy in a V-neck, constantly scratching his neck to show off his guns… it was a little hard to believe that this was a man who would have girl troubles.” But he does. And now many of his mates have started families. He’s also enjoying being SIOBHAN DUCK IRENE TSOLAKAS Interview a doting uncle to his two young nieces as well Photography REN PIDGEON Styling as spending time with Bickmore’s children “I’m a comedian because I can’t do anything else” INSTAGRAM/CARRIETOMMYSHOW; PHOTOGRAPHY: OTHER GREEN JULIA GROOMING: INSTAGRAM/MRSTOMMYLITTLE. 18 stellar STR14APR19N018 18 8/4/19 10:52 am every afternoon since they started lots of laughs. By the third one I thought, I failed at everything else in life. It was broadcasting from her house. “I am ‘The king of comedy has arrived!’ a last resort. I wanted to do acting. And getting strangely clucky,” Little admits. “And then I died one of the most awful I was really sh*t. And since then I have Kids like him, too. Bickmore tells deaths ever – I tried to write new material been fired from every job I have ever had. Stellar her eldest daughter, four-year- for every gig. I was so naïve I actually It’s only a matter of time before I get fired old Evie, constantly asks when Little is thought that would from the jobs I have coming to visit, sometimes just five be how I would make at the moment.” minutes after he’s left. “He really myself different as He has an almost engages with kids, probably because a comedian.” “I felt strange chronic inability to shy he is a big kid himself,” she says. It has been a long away from challenges – “They gravitate towards him. He’ll time since his material afterwards: especially when they’re make a great dad one day.” has fallen flat, but he for a good cause, and Until then, Little makes do with a also no longer fears I was proud, particularly if they will bromance he’s had going with fellow awkward silences from play well on TV. comic and Rosehaven star Luke the audience. “You which was Consider last year, when McGregor for years. The two have often realise why it he agreed to a nude been housemates since McGregor hasn’t gone well, so new to me bungee jump (his and his partner split, and Little offers then you adjust and ” second) to raise money a glimpse of what happens when change things,” he for Bickmore’s brain they’re both actually home: “We explains. “But I also revel in those cancer charity. Or the decision to run his have pretty wild nights, and by moments, that energy when everything first-ever marathon in -20°C temperatures wild I mean we sit down on the is silent. I don’t give a sh*t. Everybody is in Antarctica, with no previous experience. couch and have a cup of tea, play on the edge of their seat. And that “I partied enough for a lifetime so that some Lego,” he says. “It’s pretty feeling of ‘How am I going to get out of [ice marathon] was something new, f*cking rock star.” this?’ is something I find fun.” something different,” he says. “It was f*cking If work remains Little’s true love, Little claims there’s a reason stand-ups awful. I was physically destroyed by it. I still it’s probably because it was also his like him can withstand those wild can’t really walk down stairs. And I have first. He estimates that he did more adrenaline surges: “Because we can’t do only just started running again, but short than 100 stand-up gigs before he anything else! I am a comedian because runs. The whole experience was the finally got paid, and often it was in best and worst thing I have beers at the bar instead of cash. done. I had a strange feeling “I did my first gig and I just loved afterwards: I was proud, it,” he remembers. “I got lots of which was new to me.” laughs. The second one, I got Sure, his knee still seizes up from the run, and hurling one’s naked body hundreds of metres through the air dings a person’s dignity. But Little says he has no regrets. Except for maybe some of the multiple tattoos on his body – including one he got after a few too many of those free beers. Ironically, it reads “no regrets”. “I also have a list of my exes names tattooed up my side,” he confesses somewhat sheepishly. When Stellar reminds him he is in good company – Oscar-winner Angelina Jolie TOMMY WEARS still sports a tattoo that “spiritually binds” Ben Sherman jacket, SIOBHAN DUCK her to Brad Pitt, for instance – he perks up. IRENE TSOLAKAS Interview bensherman.com.au; Zara Photography REN PIDGEON Styling hoodie, zara.com/au; his own “The answer to all my problems is sitting T-shirt (worn underneath); in front of us,” he quips. “[I should date] Country Road jeans (worn Angelina. We can go and get laser sessions throughout), countryroad. com.au; (opposite) Lacoste together holding hands. I would cry, and shoes, lacoste.com.au; his she would just be stone-faced. Why did own T-shirt and watch I never think of this? It would be so (from top) Tommy Little simple. And she comes with all those going shirtless in the gorgeous kids. Problem solved.” name of charity last year; performing stand-up in Tommy Little’s comedy show Self-Diagnosed Adelaide last month; taking Genius is playing nationally, comedy.com.au/ a dip with radio and TV tour/tommy-little-2019; Carrie & Tommy airs sidekick Carrie Bickmore and OTHER PHOTOGRAPHY: INSTAGRAM/CARRIETOMMYSHOW; PHOTOGRAPHY: OTHER GREEN JULIA GROOMING: INSTAGRAM/MRSTOMMYLITTLE. her daughter Evie in January. 3pm weekdays on the Hit Network. 19 STR14APR19N019 19 8/4/19 10:52 am.