reamSeekreamSeekerer MagazineMagazine DD Voices from the Soul
A Brief History of Love and Suffering Dan Schreiber On the Edge of the Razor Stephen Mitchell Kingsview When Something Takes the Babies Michael A. King Ink Aria Countdowns and Clock-Watching Renee Gehman Lousy Gifts Brenda Hartman-Souder A Funky Sunset Rainbow Craig Pelkey-Landis Beneath the Skyline On the Cusp of New Beginnings Deborah Good and much more
Summer 2009 Volume 9, Number 3; ISSN 1546-4172 Editor IN THIS ISSUE Editorial: Shadows and Sunshine Michael A. King Summer 2009, Volume 9, Number 3 Assistant Editor As this issue of DSM is being final- extends and deepens the theme with a Renee Gehman Editorial: Shadows and Sunshine ized, the United States, as it has so of- meditation on, of all things, lice. Editorial Council Poetry ten since 9-11, is wrestling yet again Then Craig Pelkey-Landis takes David Graybill, Daniel Julie Cadwallader-Staub, Longing • 2; Ken Gibble, with how to treat enemies. We mostly us to sun-dappled Phoenix. And Hertzler, Kristina M. King, Mollie • 12; Eastern Towhee • 15; Stalker • 26; seem to have resolved it’s okay to kill Deborah Good ponders life on the Richard A. Kauffman, Jake • back cover Paul M. Schrock them if they’re bad enough. But we’re cusp of “what-next” in various in- A Brief History of Love and Suffering 3 still not quite sure it’s okay to sightful ways and set- Columnists or Dan Schreiber torture them, although ap- Even amid gauzy tings—but not least an Regular Contributors parently (according to a re- summer Arizona road trip. Renee Gehman, Deborah On the Edge of the Razor 7 cent survey), a majority of breezes, then, it Ah, but this issue of Good, David B. Greiser, Stephen Mitchell Daniel Hertzler, Michael A. more faithful churchgoing seems important DSM will remain cur- Kingsview 10 King, Nöel R. King, Mark R. evangelical Christians do to think yet rent through September When Something Takes the Babies think torture is the way to and the beginning of fall, Wenger again about Michael A. King go. when school starts and Publication, Even amid gauzy sum- what we do with we expect minds to work Printing, and Design Ink Aria 13 mer breezes, then, it seems evil. . . . Never- hard. So onward with a Cascadia Publishing House Countdowns and Clock-Watching important to think yet again theless, it is thoughtful review by Advertising Renee Gehman about what we do with evil, summer. . . . Dave Greiser of “The Michael A. King Lousy Gifts 16 with bad people, with Jesus’ Soloist” and the com- Brenda Hartman-Souder teachings to love even beyond what Contact plexities of mental illness it both ad- 126 Klingerman Road A Funky Sunset Rainbow 20 seems right to us. Dan Schreiber and dresses and fails to address; by James Telford, PA 18969 Stephen Mitchell, who submitted Juhnke of “Silent Light” and the film’s 1-215-723-9125 Craig Pelkey-Landis their overlapping and mutually en- illuminating (sometimes) treatment [email protected] Beneath the Skyline 23 riching articles without being aware of Old Order Mennonites; by Dan On the Cusp of New Beginnings of the other’s, keep us pondering. My Submissions Hertzler of ways Marlene Epp “lifts Occasional unsolicited sub- Deborah Good column on robins goes next because it the fog” in telling of the treatment missions accepted, 750-1500 worries about where God fits when and mistreatment of Mennonite words, returned only with “Silent Light”: A Film Review 27 robins are taken (which extends to women. The poets add their own SASE. Letters invited. Jim Juhnke when people are tortured). dappling of light, longing, God leav- Subscriptions Reel Reflections 31 Nevertheless, it is summer. Dur- ing or lurking. Standard rates in U.S. “The Soloist”—Flawed Genius, ing a recession. I at least yearn also to Finally I can’t resist closing on a $14.95/yr. in US, automatic Flawed Film: A Review feel touched during summer by the resurgent summery note, with Noël Jan. renewals, cancel any time. Dave Greiser magic of landscapes, laughter, the King’s fantasy of what happens when Single copy: $3.75 sheer joy of the moment. So next a babysitter realizes she’s taking care Free online: Books, Faith, World & More 34 comes Renee Gehman, reminding us, of Alison, daughter of Wonderland Al- www.CascadiaPublishingHouse.com/dsm Lifting the Fog: A Review of precisely, to cherish the moment, ice. DreamSeeker Magazine is Mennonite Women in Canada which for me includes the summer Shadows and sunshine. Summer published quarterly in spring, Daniel Hertzler sunshine, so soon gone, such a gift summer, fall, and winter. into autumn, 2009. The Turquoise Pen 40 while here. Brenda Hartman-Souder —Michael A. King Copyright © 2009 ISSN: 1546-4172 (paper) Second Generation ISSN: 1548-1719 (online) Noël R. King Longing Consider the blackpoll warbler.
She tips the scales at one ounce before she migrates, taking off from the seacoast to our east A Brief History of flying higher and higher ascending two or three miles Love and Suffering during her eighty hours of flight until she lands, in Tobago, north of Venezuela Dan Schreiber three days older, and weighing half as much.
She flies over open ocean almost the whole way. Oh she is not so different from us. Human institutions, despite whatever good in- The arc of our lives is a mystery too. tentions they claim, seem inevitably to find ways to We do not understand, increase suffering in the world. Government has its we cannot see bureaucracy, law its lawyers, and Microsoft its Win- what guides us on our way: dows®. But Christianity trumps them all, by de- that longing that pulls us toward light. manding adherence to a concept that has caused more suffering than all other strategies combined: Loving Not knowing, we fly onward our neighbors. hearing the dull roar of the waves below. Love is supposed to be a good thing, of course. —Julie Cadwallader-Staub grew up in Min- However, in those rare instances of right loving, it is nesota with her five sisters, her parents, and a often painful for the one doing the loving. Martin dog beside one of Minnesota’s small lakes. Her Luther King Jr., for example, loved his country into favorite words to hear growing up were, providing some measure of justice for African-Ameri- “Now you girls go outside and play.” She now cans. He was rewarded with an early exit from his lives in Vermont and still loves to explore the struggle to reflect God’s kingdom on earth. natural world right out her back door. And in the more usual case of loving done badly, the suffering lands squarely on those being loved. Eu- ropean Christians loved their way across North Amer- ica, attempting to convert the savages to everlasting Correction: The early hardcopy printings of DreamSeeker Magazine, Spring 2009, life. They were not terribly successful at conversion, ran an incorrect byline for the poem "Kansas, My Home," p. 41. The correct byline but they did manage to leave an efficient wake of death should have been Elizabeth Ann Raid. and devastation behind them. Love is indeed a battle- Letters to DreamSeeker Magazine are encouraged. We also welcome and when possi- field, as the prophet Benatar once proclaimed. ble publish extended responses (max. 400 words). 3 4 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 5
In my own life, I’ve encountered the wider world to see who else was should not discount the possibility whether our actions result in more many a Christian attempting to love worthy of their affection. that vegetarians are damned. power for the people we love, or more me into seeing God their way. All too Around the same time, St. Augus- power for ourselves. Even though we often, it ends in shouting, finger-wag- tine invoked love of neighbor to inau- Vegetarians aside, the solution isn’t might do good deeds that are worth- ging, or tears. And yet, my own love of gurate the Just War tradition. He to stop loving our neighbors, but to while, and even succeed in making neighbor demands that I offer in re- made the reasonable claim that even do it better than we nor- others happy, we can’t turn some vital and sincere reflection though a Christian must turn the mally do. And it turns out Our credibility is so call it love unless it is of God’s eternal wisdom. Not infre- other cheek when struck, he is al- that the problem with damaged that we painful and costly to quently, this is met with the same lowed to protect a neighbor when a loving our neighbors is should not allow ourselves. We may not stubborn resistance. Where did we go second neighbor strikes the first one. not the part where we care ourselves to invoke need to literally hang on wrong? Unfortunately, this has been inter- for our neighbors’ physi- love as a motivation a cross for our love, but preted rather broadly over the cen- cal, emotional, and spiri- we do need to challenge Christian love started out well turies. In practice it has now tual needs. Providing aid for helping others the powers of the world enough. Jesus urged us to love our degenerated to the right of any Chris- and comfort to those in unless we physi- for the benefit of others. neighbors as second only to loving tian nation to invade any other nation need and advocating jus- cally, emotionally, Sure, I am overstat- God in our right-living priorities. He if it contains a single person who has tice for the oppressed are or spiritually lose ing it, but perhaps some even helpfully pointed out who our ever been slapped. exactly what Jesus had in something in the loving radicalism is re- neighbors are (Samaritans) and what Thomas Aquinas gallantly tried to mind when he said to love process. quired at this point in we should do to love them (provide bring this under control by adding a each other. history. Although mod- for them when they are mugged). He bunch of restrictions, riders, and dis- No, the culprit is not love itself, ern Christians have grown more so- also recklessly included enemies as claimers to just war theory. However, but the seemingly infinite human ca- phisticated in hiding our self-serving neighbors, and advocated social engi- benevolent kings and politicians are pacity for self-delusion when decid- love, we nonetheless suffer from the neering in the form of feeding those notoriously impatient with limits on ing what is good for someone else. same instincts. We love immigrants who are hungry and clothing those their love. Thus, by my counting, just What we believe to be good for some- by letting them mow our lawns, cook who are naked. war has never prevented a war, but it one else usually coincides most con- our food, take care of our children. Despite this promising start, lov- has justified plenty of despicable veniently with what is good for us, or We love homosexuals by urging them ing our neighbors took a turn for the ones. All in the name of love, to mis- our country, or our culture. How else to deny their identities to affirm our worse when Christians acquired quote the prophet Bono. to explain forced conversion by domi- worldview. We love unborn babies power. The Roman emperor Con- If loving our neighbors is so terri- nation? Slavery? Trickle down eco- enough to scold their mothers but not stantine made Christianity the offi- ble, then why do we insist on doing it? nomics? enough to provide for them after they cial state religion, so instead of The problem to any alternative, for It is time to take a hard-line ap- emerge from the womb to the stark- waiting around for Samaritans to get those of us who claim to be Christian, proach to love. Our credibility is so ness of their world. mugged, Christians started patrolling is that love of neighbor is not an op- damaged that we should not allow And of course there is still plenty the hills. This worked well for awhile, tional choice on the Christian menu ourselves to invoke love as a motiva- of old-fashioned love to go around. and not just for the Samaritans. of ethics. Love is not some tiny sprig tion for helping others unless we We invade other countries to free Eventually Christians grew rest- of parsley next to the big, juicy pork physically, emotionally, or spiritually them of tyranny while laying waste to less with mere safety, and started chop of salvation. It isn’t even the tasty lose something in the process. We their people, land, and culture—and mugging the Levites and priests be- applesauce. It is the heart of the must prove our love, as the prophet conveniently ensuring ourselves ac- cause they weren’t Christian. Loving gospel, which makes it the very meat Madonna once demanded (except cess to the world’s oil supply. neighbors became a very pro-active on the bone. It may be hard to swal- maybe not quite in the way she sug- thing, and by the time there were no low when badly prepared, but eat it gests). Last but not least, what of writers like more Samaritans or Levites to love, we must, if we are to be faithful. Vege- One good measure of the purity of this one, who rebuke others regarding Christians turned their attention to tarians may disagree, but perhaps we our intentions would be to judge their shortcomings in their attempts 6 / SUMMER 2009 to love? What of those who lecture Despite our most sincere efforts, one-sidedly on their tradition’s some- our spiritual descendants will shake times sad history of love of suffering? their heads in dismay at how we Those who bind heavy burdens onto could be so blind to the plight of oth- the backs of others while lifting only ers, just as we shake our heads at the their fingers to type behind the warm past follies of some of our spiritual comfort and glow of their computer ancestors. We just have to hope that monitors? Woe unto them, I say, for God’s grace is indeed infinite. We On the Edge they have already received their re- must love boldly and therefore sin ward, often in the form of a small boldly, and have faith that God will of the Razor check, for which they are indeed forgive us our sins, since history is not grateful. likely to. In fact, writers who demand an uncompromising stance on love may —Dan Schreiber is a freelance Stephen Mitchell cause us to abandon any attempt at it. writer from Champaign, Illinois. We may fear that we will get it wrong He enjoys rebuking himself and and shame ourselves. And yet, fear others, but mostly others, on his not. There is no doubt we will con- blog at http://danschreiber.blogs tinue to get it wrong. pot.com This morning I cut myself shaving. Usually, I’m quite careful with my razor. It’s a safety razor—one of those grocery store luxury items that are supposed to conform to the contours of my face. But this morning my hand slipped. Lucky for me the blades are small, so they didn’t cut deeply. Razors can though. Why else would both surgeons and cutthroats wield them? In the 2003 film Luther, which I saw only recently, a peculiar scene occurs between the title character and his spiritual father. As Luther prepares to stand trial for his writings, Staupitz, recalling the social upheaval caused by Luther’s writings, warns him to love good more than he hates evil. Meanwhile, with precision and grace, he shaves Luther’s neck. I’ve mulled over those words the last several weeks, turned them this way and that, tried them on like spectacles to see if they would help make clear what had before been fuzzy. What, I’ve asked, is the differ- ence between loving good and hating evil? Doesn’t the love of the one imply, yea even demand, hatred of the other? Shouldn’t we be capable of both? Perhaps. But the sentiment that leads will brings us to radically dif- ferent ends. The danger lies, I think, in the power of 7 8 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 9 hatred to overwhelm all other emo- Consider our very recent history. vated him, at least partly, to tell some those sick or in prison? What but the tions. What, if not an overwhelming hatred of those puzzling stories in the love that is the greatest of all good Andreas Karlstadt,* Luther’s col- of perceived evil, could have led our Gospels? Could this difficulty help to things could lead a man to accept league at the University of Witten- nation which prided itself on liberty explain why he said that the great death at the hands of his enemies berg, provides a compelling example. and justice for all to build, deploy, and commandment is to love God, fol- rather than to strike back in violence Impressed by Luther’s theses, he sup- explode weapons of mass destruction lowed by love of neighbor? Could he and hatred? ported him in his opposition to reli- in the name of defending freedom have placed these two side by side, so I cannot claim that Luther or his gious corruption. Allied with this from tyranny? What, if not hatred of close together that no razor followers fully succeeded religious corruption was a political the evils of our capitalism, could have could divide them, be- As a worshiper in in loving good. At times system that oppressed the peasants. persuaded the Soviets to do the same? cause he knew that the first a Lutheran con- they may even have em- There was evil in this religious-politi- And consider the contemporary separated from the second gregation, I can braced evil. In his later cal system, an evil that needed to be scene. What, if not an all consuming would lead professed attest that we still writings, I recall, Luther changed. But hatred of evil overcame hatred of perceived evil, could con- lovers of God to slaughter wrote hatefully of the struggle to love Karlstadt; he turned radical revolu- vince the bin Laden’s of this world to their fellow humans? Jews, and he responded to tionary and lead the peasants to outra- turn airliners into missiles and bodies When the rich young good more than Karlstadt’s peasant upris- geous act of violence which led to into bombs? What but an over- ruler affirmed his faithful- we hate evil. ing by advocating for vio- reprisals by the authorities, who whelming hatred of evil could lead ness to the “shalts” and lent reprisal. Perhaps the slaughtered thousands of peasants. men to consider the torture of terror- “shalt nots” of the law, Jesus told him bloodiest slip of the razor occurred In Karlstadt’s hand the razor ists a legitimate act? Is it possible that to sell his goods and give the money to when much of the German church ac- slipped, or perhaps he slipped on it. nations and groups on both sides of the poor. In the parable of the Good quiesced to Hitler. Reform became for him a revolution- the war on terror are acting more from Samaritan, Jesus said nothing about As a worshiper in a Lutheran con- ary tightrope stretched over a valley of hatred of evil than from love of good? hunting down the thieves and bring- gregation, I can attest that we still bones and sharp rocks. When he fell, In literature too, we find exam- ing them to justice; he merely praised struggle to love good more than we the razor cut deeply, severing his life ples. Ivan Karamazov, the intellectual the good works of the Samaritan. hate evil. But Staupitz’s advice is and the lives of those who followed. of the Brother’s Karamazov, hated evil. In the story of the Publican and sound. It is not simple nor easy to let But this hatred led him to complicity the Pharisee at prayer, the difference love rather than hate lead. But to do As I look at my own world, I find it in the murder of his father. emerges again, razor-thin but terribly otherwise is to let the razor slip. Our chillingly similar to Luther’s. Of The opposing ideologies of the important. The Pharisee disdains volatile world and the blood in my course, we’ve no medieval church sell- two sides suggest further that identi- (dare I say hates?) the Publican— sink suggest we dare not be so careless. ing indulgences; we do, however, live fying and responding to evil is a dan- probably for good reason—while the *My use of Andreas Karlstadt is based in a world of abundant evil. From ter- gerous, difficult, and perplexing task. Publican yearns for the goodness of upon his presentation in the film. The his- rorism to torture, from racism to In addition to the risk that hatred will forgiveness. Jesus leaves no question torical debate surrounding his purported genocide, from poverty to imperial- overwhelm us, there is the clear and about whom we are to imitate. violence and the possibility that the char- ism, we need not look far to find in- present danger of calling the wrong Could not this difference—be- acter might have been merged with the his- justices worthy of hatred. It is, in fact, thing evil—or failing to see our own. tween love of good and hatred of torical Thomas Muentzer is noted but not quite satisfying to hate evil, to point evil—provide a sliver of light to help crucial to the argument of this article. out the failings of those in power, to Is it possible that Jesus understood us penetrate the mysteries of the Ser- denounce the oppressor. We might just how difficult it is to tell good from mon on the Mount? What, if not love —Stephen Mitchell lives with his wife even need such activism to remain evil? Did he know that love of good of good, could compel us to turn the and two children in an old house in moral people. Too quickly though, we and hatred of evil, though standing as other cheek? What, if not love of Mount Holly, North Carolina, can be left with little but outrage close as the blade-width of a razor, good, could lead us to bind up the where he teaches English, reads, gar- which too soon becomes overwhelm- lead in radically different directions? wounds of the oppressed? What but dens, and puzzles endlessly over the ing hatred. Could this knowledge have moti- this same love could compel us to visit challenges of living peaceably. KINGSVIEW DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 11 sign of spring, new beginnings, the alive by telling ourselves stories of the ability of even tiny brains to prepare times it seems God does care and not for, give birth to, care for children! It telling of the times God seems not to was hard not to ponder what to make care. I will confess to being tempted to of the stillness and its mute testimony leave church in anger when I hear one to the reality that things I know which an- more account of how, go not only right but also amid the bodies man- When Something often wrong. swers to the riddle gled by this accident or I wondered what this of vacant nests and that disease, the one Takes the Babies might say about human a caring God leave giving testimony was families. And I found my me feeling empty miraculously spared by mind wandering toward myself. I don’t know a loving God. Yes? So all the torn pieces in those how to solve the God was on lunch break Michael A. King many circles of family ra- when the babies were riddle. diating back from and in stolen? front of me. I thought of that shotgun I know which answers to the rid- ending a life in that pasture. Of that dle of vacant nests and a caring God broken pelvis leading to the meningi- leave me feeling empty myself. I don’t tis that killed her when, as taking the know how to solve the riddle. In fact, She pulled out dry grass. Then she hopped into a meds became once more a struggle, I’d guess it can’t be solved. I protest bush to weave it in. Alerted to the new construction she jumped out her window. Of the simplistic evocations of God’s care. project, all of us kept tabs on it and celebrated as the predisposition toward anxiety and de- Yet does it get us any farther to com- robin, joined often by her mate, completed a fine pression that seems to run through mit to faith in “Life’s a [word not ap- round condo. Soon four eggs, colored, yes, “robin’s- generation after generation in one propriate for DreamSeeker Magazine] egg blue,” nestled in it. family wing. Of those who once to a and then you die”? Plus it so happens She began sitting duties. To avoid unsettling her, child seemed giants yet have been “Be not dismayed what’er betide,” the mostly we watched from afar. Except when she’d leave felled by strokes, cancer, dementia. first line of the Martins’ song, can we’d allow ourselves to gaze right into the nest built I thought of how often over the draw my tears. just inches from a window. We also took in the dramas years I’ve heard from or about those And what am I or we to make of that erupted when bad birds or squirrels drew too suffering faith crises when the trust this: In delving into the history of near. that “God will take care of you,” as “God Will Take Care of You,” I At last the big day: nest turns maternity ward. Civilla and Walter Martin put it in learned that Civilla also wrote an- Commotion everywhere. Soon arrives an image that their gospel song, smashes into the re- other favorite, “His Eye Is on the seems almost cliché come to life: Papa or Mama with ality that this woe, that frailty, the re- Sparrow.” But not robins, right? fat worm dangling. lentless winding down age brings will Except Civilla isn’t quite so easily Then: tragedy. Nest empty. No little birds. A very end at a graveside ceremony where dismissed: She wrote “Sparrow” after bad thing has befallen the robin family. Deflation hits those gathered will seek assurance visiting the Doolittles, one of them our human family. that God does still take care. long bedridden, the other confined to Just one more nest emptied by a predator. Just one And I thought this: If faith is to be a wheelchair. Yet brightness sur- more reminder of how truly nature is, as Alfred Lord worth much at all, then it needs to rounded them. When asked why, re- Tennyson famously put it, “red in tooth and claw.” face squarely the predations both ported Civilla, Mrs. Doolittle said But the nest had seemed so alive, its bird family such a robins and people face. Does faith simply that “His eye is on the sparrow, 10 pass the test? Often not. We keep faith and I know he watches me.” 12 / SUMMER 2009 INK ARIA A day after I found the nest empty, and I don’t have, then at least in our two robins scrambled off the roof near riddles God lurks. the nest. Down to the lawn to pull at worms they flew. If they were the —Michael A. King, Telford, Pennsylva- bereft parents, God’s eye on their chil- nia, is publisher, Cascadia Publish- dren hadn’t spared them. I doubt their ing House LLC; editor, Dream robin theology was better than mine Seeker Magazine; and a pastor and at making sense of that riddle. Still speaker. This reflection was first pub- Countdowns and amid death they were alive. I dared lished in The Mennonite (June 2, hope that if not in the answers they 2009), as a "Real Families" column. Clock-Watching
Molly Renee Gehman Her twisted body sentenced her And when, about to go, I’d to wheelchair and bed say, each time, would you like but could not exile delight. a prayer? Her face lit up.
My visits, few enough, it’s true, I’d say a line, “Our Father were welcomed as if she really who art . . .” and I always seem to be waiting for beginnings and ends. did remember who I was. wait to hear her echo. Things are never quite satisfactory in the middle, in the now, where I see things as they are, including their imper- What I learned about her was Then, half-way through, fections or what is missing. I see the potential perfection of sketchy, episodic, told remembering, she’d race ahead beginnings and ends that lie ahead, which I imagine as in bursts like a four-year-old. to “trespass against us.” holding a beauty like the world right after a snowfall, be- fore anyone has set foot on anything. Talking cost her effort, her I wondered what she knew of When I’m not happy with the present, it becomes little voice raspy, her face red. trespass, hers or others, what more than a traffic jam I must endure until I reach my She preferred talking to listening. need she had of forgiveness. destination. But “Life is a journey, not a destination,” I’ve heard. Why is it so impossible to live knowing that some- It was her chance to shine, And then we came to what times? I mean really knowing that. That which has yet to to be someone of consequence. I still remember most. happen often seems so much more important than that I learned to listen. Her eyes squeezed shut, which is happening now. And so I am in Vietnam, having the hugest experience in my life thus far, and I’m appreci- She guided me into her fervency fervent, ating it, but still, I can’t help but daydream about the re- and through the fifty years of she prayed “. . . and lead unions to come in the summer. Then, I think, then her contracted world. us into temptation. Amen.” everything will be okay. Except once I’m home every- thing will be okay once I have a job, and once I have a job I found, to my surprise, And I wonder if, maybe, everything will be okay once I have a husband, or chil- a place absent of complaint her version makes dren, or a master’s degree, and so on and so forth until the or fear or sulk or rage. as much sense as the original. only thing I want to do before I die is make a return trip to —Ken Gibble my beloved Vietnam. —January 16, 2007 13 14 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 15
quietly and resting, which was the The hardest times are also the like to read old journal entries to see mock-accusation, “How come you I boring alternative, he would bounce hardest times to live in the moment. how I have changed, but it is also never come over to myhouse to visit?!” up and down on his cot or kick his feet And why shouldn’t they be? Why humbling to see how I have not As I spoke he sprinted across the as fast as he could in the air, or throw shouldn’t we look forward to better changed where perhaps I should have. yard with his arms outstretched for a his stuffed animal up in the air and times when things get tough? It seems I had to chuckle when I read that ex- hug. “I’m FIVE!” he said excitedly as I catch it. Even when he wasn’t happy a healthy enough sequence of cause- cerpt the other night, be- lifted him into my arms, with his circumstances, Alex still lived and-effect to me. Still, Alex reminds cause here I am over two Once again, I am making the obligatory in the moment. me to discipline my countdowns and years later, pining for the declaration about his in- having a great life clock-watching so I too can live his in- summer again, this time creased size. adventure (first- appreciate now the way Alex contin- the-moment joys. as a high school teacher His mom came over I year teaching), and ued to make the most of his time, eager for a break. Once too, told me the center finding ways to have fun even when it —Renee Gehman, assistant editor, again, I am having a great once again, I must had hosted the Family seemed like there was no fun to be DreamSeeker Magazine, and high life adventure (first-year admit to counting Night that week, on had. I suppose he was too young for school teacher, is counting down the teaching), and once down the days to Tuesday, and that before- staring at the clock and counting days until she is better at living in the again, I must admit to hand Alex had asked her its end. down the minutes. moment on a daily basis. counting down the days if she thought I would be to its end. there. Last year I’d chased him around Last night I sat outside with my a lot, him and his buddies. I was living laptop to plan lessons, but a young in the moment then too. Now as I held Alex, he rotated his guest at a party next door caught my Eastern Towhee eye. It was Alex, whom I’d had in my arms, displaying for me his various first class as a child care teacher after temporary tattoos, mostly featuring The book says they are common returning from Vietnam. Alex was in cars. His hair was still as blonde as in this part of the world. the neighbor’s backyard, throwing a could be, his cheeks still rosy. But I’ve been living giant Frisbee around by himself while Memories crept up on me. I re- in this part of the world everyone else ate on the deck. He membered once—if I dare tell a story for more than six decades didn’t bother himself with trying to that reflects well on me amid others and yesterday was the first time I saw one. catch the thing but rather launched it that don’t!—his mom had reported to Or maybe not. haphazardly into the air and then ran me that he’d told her at home, Maybe you have to be looking, around (also haphazardly) and dove “Mommy I just love Miss Renee. Not maybe you have to be hoping, upon the ground, synchronizing his as much as I love you, but I really love to see one. own fall with the Frisbee’s. her.” And I remembered the time we From afar I watched him: he was were lined up to go outside at school Some say that only completely invested in his simple when he pointed at a “wet floor” sign those who loved him game, oblivious to the smells of grilled by the bathroom and said, “I can read were able to see Christ risen. food and the sounds of happy conver- what that sign says.” Maybe he too is common sation coming from just a few feet “Oh yeah? What does it say?” in this part of the world. away. He was busy living in this mo- “It says: You cannot come in this —Ken Gibble, Greencastle, Pennsylvania, ment. bathroom right now because Mr. is a retired Church of the Brethren pas- Eventually I walked over to the George is cleaning it.” tor. These days, instead of writing ser- fence and yelled his name. He looked I remembered how he used to get mons, he writes poetry (mostly) and up, his face glowing with that beauti- himself in trouble at nap time. He other stuff. ful mischievous grin, and I said, with didn’t want to sleep, so instead of lying DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 17
dence, a tiny, dark, now motionless I quickly summarized that lice dot on my finger. have no good reason for existence “Are you sure that’s what it is?” he whatsoever other than to drive people asked. Then he shrugged and re- crazy with itching and to propel turned to his scrubbing. De- But I was mothers of the world into nial and minimization have near hysterical actions to always been his strong suits. wrong about get rid of them. Which is Lousy Gifts But I knew. I knew it was lice’s meaning- what I proceeded to do. lice. Final answer. less existence. That was dozens of I raced to the computer, Lice do more loads of laundry ago, wash- Googled “lice” and acquired than merely ing bedding and clothing Brenda Hartman-Souder a quick education. promoting in hot, soapy water, then Lice, although harmless, drying it completely and panic or are tough to get rid of. Per- scorchingly dry. sistence is the key. They are chronic itching. That was several trips not partial to poor heads, rich heads, to the pharmacy ago, to buy over-the- dirty heads, or spotless heads. Lice ex- counter treatments and the best lice “My head itches!” exclaimed Valerie, for the ist in three stages, and all must be comb. umpteenth time that evening. We were watching eradicated. That was a dozen phone calls ago, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” our special Friday Standard, over-the-counter, to warn friends and others with night activity. Our seven-year-old loves to try and an- chemical treatments as well as natural whom we’d come in contact recently. swer the questions correctly. She relishes making a de- remedies exist; many make claims That was one “mayonnaise-all- cision with the contestants and yelling, “Final which, as we launched our all-out ef- over-the-head treatment” (guaran- answer!” to her selection. But that night she was dis- fort to get rid of lice, I found to be less teed to suffocate the buggers) ago. tracted by an itchy scalp. than honest. Treatment might kill off That was countless hours of part- Greg had also been scratching his head for several the full grown louses and new born ing, sectioning, and combing out live weeks. We’d taken a perfunctory look and found nymphs. (Funny, I always thought of lice and nits, ago. nothing. Mark, my calm, unruffled spouse, concurred a nymph as a beautiful maiden; not a That was almost eight weeks ago. that Greg, at age three, was just developing a little ner- wiggling insect ready to suck blood.) vous habit akin to the nail biting or hair twirling of his The nits, egg sacks attached to hair But I was wrong about the meaning- sister. follicles at the scalp, however, are usu- less existence of lice. Lice do more But as Val complained, my mind flickered to my ally impervious to the prescribed in- than merely promoting panic or own head. It’d been sort of itchy too, but I thought I secticide and must be methodically chronic itching. was just getting used to winter’s dry air and wearing combed or pulled out. “Well, we are going to get to know hats again. I put Val face down on my lap, parted her In short, our science-savvy world each other very well,” I remember say- hair with my fingers and examined her scalp. has not found an easy solution to the ing when we were first massaging the Tiny brown bugs were rushing to hide in the dark problem of head lice. Like Mark said, chemicals into our scalps, when we recesses of my daughter’s shiny, clean hair. With a rush “We can put a man on the moon, but could choose to either laugh or cry of dread and determination, I extracted one of the we can’t find a cure for lice.” I’m that our lives were abruptly upended sesame-seed-sized buggers and dashed downstairs thinking that a man on the moon by this miniscule, harmless little bug where Mark was placidly washing the dishes. with a head full of bloodsucking crit- that strikes fear in the eyes of even the “We’ve got lice!” I shouted, showing him the evi- ters might get the ball rolling on a most calm parent. (Which by the way, 16 cure. I’m not!) 18 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 19
All that’s been true and, yes, it’s a part of me persisted in believing, on though this may capture some essence Maybe nitpicking is even a been a gift. Forced to slow down, we a deeply rooted level, that they were of the word, nitpicking has taken on a twenty-first century equivalent to spent more than the usual amount of bestowed on us by someone poor, or whole new meaning. It no longer just biblical foot washing; a little wet, a lit- time together. Every night, we with less than stellar hygiene. means “minute and unjustified criti- tle messy, not that enjoyable, but an combed hair. We nitpicked. And I cism” according to the dic- essential act of service which learned new things about my family The focus of our lives narrowed dur- tionary. Nitpicking also It was only as has the power to shake up and myself. ing the season of lice. While I can’t say conveys focused and totally we slowed and even transform our Valerie, I discovered, as she sat at I’m sad they are gone, I do look back justified living in the pre- down . . . that modern ideas about what is my feet reading the magical mystery on that period fondly. For in addition sent. we started to really important. of Harry Potter aloud while being to discovering new things about my- I began to develop a real turn the corner I, however, usually combed, is a good little reader. And self and my family, I also learned a bit appreciation for those de- on getting the spend all my present mo- more, she’s a good little philosopher, more about living in, accepting and tail-oriented people who ments wishing, planning, with thoughtful comments and ques- embracing the present moment, will stop at nothing but a critters. . . . and preparing for some tions about good and evil, about life, whatever it hands me. perfection they actually believe exists. great future moment, yearning to get about recognizing things that are true Charlotte Joko Beck, in Everyday Because until we stopped at nothing out of my present problems. And of in fiction. Toward the end of our or- Zen, writes “[T]he joy of our life is just less than zero bugs and nits, we were course I’m always disappointed. Be- deal, Val started to ask for “combing in totally doing and just bearing what doomed. And it was only as we slowed cause, well, wherever I go, there I am! time,” so she could sit and read to me. must be borne, in just doing what has down and nitpicked and combed Lice at least temporarily inter- Greg resolutely refused to be to be done” (HarperOne, 2007, p. with utmost concentration, as we rupted that. They forced me attend to combed unless given a snack to 68). For us that translated into comb- learned to submit to the tedious, time what was literally getting under my munch on. Although he seemed ing and pulling, into nitpicking. If consuming task of attending to each skin right now. They demanded I live oblivious to what was going on, he you didn’t get each nit off before they strand of hair, that we started to turn in the present. It’s all any of us have understood a lot more than we gave hatched, newborn nymphs would the corner on getting the critters out anyway, nits and all. him credit for. grow into egg-laying lice and the cycle of our heads and home. As the host of “Millionaire” states “I have bugs in my hair,” he would repeat itself. Which it did, at That’s the gift I need over and over when the contestant has thirty sec- quipped with a little grin to an elderly first, because, well, I mentally wan- again. The tasks of work and house- onds to ask a friend to help answer a woman who took the time to say hello dered off to make a grocery list or hold, ornery kids, troublesome rela- question, “Your time begins now.” to him at the supermarket. She briskly dream about comb-free evenings. tionships, stubborn problems, crises, Final answer. moved her cart down aisle; I hope she Until now I thought a nitpicker and the complexities of life all exist in was hard of hearing. was someone too focused on detail, the present, and they always will. —Brenda Hartman-Souder, Jos, Nige- I learned that my laid-back and someone who values method and Only as I turn to what’s in this mo- ria, serves as co-representative of calm spouse could readily spring to technique over people, pure fact and ment, accept it, and attend to it can I MCC Nigeria and as parent of Va- action and ably help with the extra logic over feeling and intuition. Like see what is precious, even holy in daily lerie and Greg, along with spouse chores of laundry, vacuuming, and one of my writing instructors, who life. Mark. combing. And that although he is im- went over every assignment with, pervious to much upset, his scalp is ahem, a fine-tuned comb, picking out sensitive. He really, really hated to even questionable errors but also all have the tangles in his hair pulled. the passion and joy with which I’d And I unearthed my own preju- written. dice. While intellectually I knew that I used the term for people who lice, like rain, can “fall on the just and magnify the minute because they are the unjust,” deep down I was embar- not mature enough to handle the rassed our family contracted lice. And broader, more complex picture. Al- DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 21
He had built a quarter pipe that the occasional punk rock show with at backed up to the garage—I could least five bands on the bill (with never get up enough speed on my names like the Meat Puppets, The clunky Zorlac Craig Johnson model Sun City Girls, and my personal fa- skateboard that felt like a water logged vorite: Jodie Foster’s Army), and two-by-eight compared to the boards when we had a set of wheels, Zia today. Even back then, Tim’s Santa Records, for cheap used albums. A Funky Sunset Cruz was like a ballet slipper Today was a Tim’s house Rainbow next to the Zorlac. Nothing I remember day. We were easing our way nimble about that Zorlac. feeling elation between skating, TV, and We’d ride from the end of the that day, wa- the pool. The development cul-de-sac onto Tim’s drive- Tim’s house was in had mi- way, but the sloping curb ter lapping all croscopic backyards with Craig Pelkey-Landis would slow me down. I around me as high stucco fences. The en- wasn’t a poser exactly, but I floated on an tire backyard was taken up never made it to the top of inner tube. by the pool. Like I said, we the quarter pipe, never came were pacing ourselves that close to doing an ollie or whatever day, not a thing to do. I didn’t have a I’m sure the sun bore down on the water, refracting tricks were called in 1983. shift that day at the bottom rung of a like a crystal charm dangling from somebody’s And that was just the front yard. storefront telemarketing operation. I rearview mirror. It was the Valley of the Sun, so what Tim’s family had cable, so we watched wouldn’t have many shifts there, as it the sun was doing was a foregone conclusion. But I MTV, read back issues of Reggae and turned out. Those folks flew the coop don’t remember really. African Beat, and made banana frit- before I could cash my first paycheck. Phoenix in those days was hot yet languid, on its ters in his kitchen—Irie, Mon! We were just hanging by the pool way to being grandiose and sprawling, spilling out of No, it’s not what you imagine, at this point in the afternoon, the nowhere onto the receptive desert, over the dry river teenage boys turning the kitchen into summer between junior and senior beds, around chalky-pink mountains, drowning a a war zone (that was Jeff’s house, but year. College was in the plans, but swath of cholla, saguaro, and prickly pear cactus. The we had nothing to do with the wreck- those plans wouldn’t be enough to fit desert will surely drink it back up someday, but the age in that kitchen, and it’s another on the inside of a matchbook. So we spill is in stop-frame right now, and we were even story altogether). We were serious watched the water glisten (I imagine), closer to the beginning of the film loop back then. about those fritters, frying them up and listened to lousy radio, in those Things were starting to get out of hand, but it was perfect golden brown, putting the days before indie rock got airplay any- still a sleepy town of maybe 800,000 souls, depending flour, sugar, and other ingredients where but two-block frequency col- how broadly you defined “metro Phoenix”—did away after we had used them, washing lege stations. Chandler count? Buckeye? The boom started in the the mixing bowl, all the while laugh- I remember feeling elation that raging days of automobile monoculture, so human ing and badly singing something like day, water lapping all around me as I scale got hosed. We became creatures of endless strip “We’ll be Forever Lovin’ Jah.” We left floated on an inner tube. Something malls and mile after mile of subdivision housing. We Carl’s Jr. burger wrappers all over the halfway decent must have come onto were a puddle not yet stagnant, teeming with life. front porch, but the kitchen we left the radio, Bowie or maybe even The sparkling. Banana fritters were a reli- Clash. Elation doesn’t come when So the sun was there in force, and we were pacing our- gious experience that summer. you listen to Journey or Loverboy. selves, Tim and I. Tim’s house was where we hung out. That summer, we divided our It was my last carefree day, and 20 time between Carl’s Jr., Tim’s house, knowing that, I enjoy the memory of 22 / SUMMER 2009 BENEATH THE SKYLINE it all the more. Not long after this day, desert. I think this rootedness I feel in I moved with my parents to Pennsyl- Phoenix is something more than what vania, to a different kind of suburbia, human ingenuity has put into it. You north of Philadelphia. I think my can plop down a Bennigan’s and a memories of Phoenix have caused a Don Pablo’s, a Fry’s grocery and a sense of place, or the lack thereof, to Woody’s Macayo every square mile, thrum on low reverb from back to but you can’t escape the landscape. front to back in my consciousness. Squaw Peak, Camelback, the dry Salt On the Cusp The American Southwest—wind River bed, South Mountain, the scoured lowlands against mountains White Tank mountains to the west, of New Beginnings coming as if out of nowhere, the odd they are not just dry bones, they put tumbleweed now and then, a certain some flesh and feeling into Phoenix, awe for Almighty-ness in the rock for- they don’t let us sit around. They mations and evidence of the forces of beckon us to climb them, they be- Deborah Good nature on the overall landscape— come a jagged frame for the dust and now there’s a landscape that offers a smog induced, mind-bogglingly sense of place. This is juxtaposed beautiful sunsets. They give this place against the bland sameness of the a soul. They still stir my soul. strip-mall strewn landscape. The sprawling, morphing exurb; Thanks to that bland sameness, the sunshine; endless miles of con- For nearly all of the last two years, I have been im- Phoenix did not, from the perspective crete to skate, beauty to be found if mersed in graduate school, an endeavor that has been of a punkish kid, have a very strong you spied a break in the numbing or- part vivification, part drudgery.1 I will graduate in Au- sense of identity. Back then I didn’t der of beige houses/beige strip gust, and as I march toward that end, I feel on the cusp feel a “Phoenix” identity, but I was mall/beige houses; people who held of new beginnings. Having recently finished a statis- pretty sure I had an idea of what the capacity to relax once they were tics course that nearly burned me out every week, I am Phoenix was not. It was not the la-la off the roads (highways were may- compelled to write this in mathematical terms: land of L.A. It didn’t have the animist hem, just like anywhere else); great Ends + Beginnings = Transitions. spiritual hum associated with Santa Mexican and Thai, and Japanese Yes, transitions. The past seven years of my life Fe. Not as naughty as Vegas. It wasn’t food; a million ways to cool off; a vibe have been full of them. How many times since college even as distinctive as other towns in that’s too snide to be effervescent, but have I asked myself, What next?2 Arizona: not the home of hardcore too pleased with life to be totally This question has often been accompanied by a granola types, like Flagstaff. Not the jaded. This is what has shaped me in daunting list of related questions, which have some- groovy Mestizo culture of Tucson. my blood and bones. This is a funky times threatened to stall me out altogether: Who am I? Just plain vanilla Phoenix. It was a sunset rainbow of brown, turquoise, What is good and important in the world? What are my place to move to and get an okay job blood orange, hazy dazzling purple. strengths and weaknesses, and what does the world need? and soak up the sun. This is my town. What is the right thing to do, the most conscientious way to live, the life decisions I should make now so that I will And yet as I look back, identity has —Craig Pelkey-Landes, Perkasie, achieve perfection within twenty years? And—oh yeah— seeped into my bones as a child of the Pennsylvania, who hasn’t been to how am I going to pay the rent and grocery bills? southwest, a reverse migrator from Arizona in ages, and who is glad the I have found that staring out car windows can that very specific place smack kids of Perkasie have a skateboard nudge my thoughts down this pensive and somewhat dab(ish) in the middle of the Arizona park. treacherous path, as can large expanses of desert, red 23 24 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 25 rocks, and sky. As it turned out, a few mately lead to a traditional middle- We talked about a friend of theirs sign and counseling work they do in days after walking across the stage in a class adulthood, involving a full-time who spends part of the year working between, for income. premature3 graduation ceremony, I career, a spouse, a house, a tidy yard, for a sculptor in New York and the rest I could go on and on with stories sat in the passenger seat of a car dri- and investment plans.5 I have joked of the year in Tucson doing his own of people’s unique life-compositions. ving through eastern Arizona. You with my younger brother that he has artwork and taking on carpentry jobs I need these stories. They broaden my guessed it: Car window + Red rocks + already far surpassed me in “adult for friends.6 viewfinder as I imagine my own fu- Desert + Sky = Pondering And if our lives points”—he is married, I also learned of another friend of a ture life. life direction. has a dog, a steady job, and friend who spent a year eating granola Life transitions are for me a lively Perhaps not everyone are pieces of art, as of May, a house with two bars and sleeping in a janitor’s closet at and unpredictable landscape, turns their year-to-year then . . . compos- brand new couches. the recreation center where he worked stretched out between periods that are transitions into existen- ing them is much I am not suggesting, of to save thousands of dollars in rent usually more certain and routinized. tial dilemmas as I do, but more like sculpt- course, that no one should and grocery money. Today, he is trav- They are a good time to pull a favorite I have a hunch that I am ing a ball of clay marry, own a house, or eling in South America, living on the poem off my bookshelf. In “Mani- not alone. This time . . . than choosing mow their lawn. I simply savings he accumulated during his festo: The Mad Farmer Liberation around, I have decided to want to remind myself that closet-and-granola-bar existence. Front,” Wendell Berry implores us to the correct an- undertake an investiga- this is not the only way to There’s also my cousin, who has “every day do something / that won’t tion of sorts. I am on the swer. . . . reach adulthood. sometimes spent months traveling compute.” How to do this? “Love the lookout for stories and pieces of wis- I turned to Julie, the driver, who the country with friends by catching world,” he writes. “Work for nothing. dom on how we craft our ways of liv- has been a good friend since my junior rides on trains and in cars, playing / Take all you have and be poor.” ing and how we pay the bills and year of college. I wondered out loud music on street corners, and living on This may sound like absurd ad- indeed whether and how the two are with her about people we know— the coins and bills that drop into the vice, especially to those hunting for linked. many of them artists and activists— fiddle case they lay open in front of employment in a failing economy. I who have crafted alternative work them. know that regardless of whether one Mary Catherine Bateson, author of lives and living arrangements. These Finally, there are the folks who live lives with a salary and a pension or Composing a Life, believes all of us are are people who don’t quite follow the at Rolling Ridge, a community and without, whether one owns a house artists, simply in the ways we put to- rules—maybe because a traditional retreat center in the Blue Ridge and a dog or lives in a janitor’s closet, gether our days. “As you get up in the middle-class lifestyle would cost more Mountains of West Virginia, where I life is rarely easy and straightforward. morning, as you make decisions, as money than they make, or maybe be- visited often growing up.7 Commu- I also know that the more alternative you spend money, make friends, cause they dislike rules generally. I nity members live in homes that they versions of “making a living” become make commitments, you are creating have at times counted myself among do not own themselves. Instead, they even more challenging when children a piece of art called your life,” she them, on both accounts. pay “rent” into the community’s non- are involved. Still, I am grateful for writes.4 We talked about Julie’s husband, profit coffers. Wendell Berry and the people in my And if our lives are pieces of art, Jeremy, who writes, teaches at the lo- The work they do at and for life who remind me that there is no then the process of composing them is cal university, and does some editing Rolling Ridge—from gardening to one right answer to the what-next much more like sculpting a ball of clay to supplement the downtimes teach- planning retreats to filing taxes—is question. or piecing together a patchwork quilt ing, while Julie works as a nurse at the volunteer, so many of them also piece From what I hear, road trips than choosing the correct answer on a hospital and considers massage together paid work outside of the through Arizona help too. multiple choice quiz. There is no one school. They grow some of their own community to pay for the things they right way to do it. fruit and vegetables, eat an occasional need. One couple, for example, jug- —Deborah Good, Philadelphia, Penn- As I gazed out the car window at rooster and the eggs their chickens lay gles their unpaid work (family care- sylvania, has been a very-full-time the rocky valleys of eastern Arizona, I in a backyard coop, and harvest free taking, work at Rolling Ridge, and student at Temple University for two realized how easily I can limit myself desert foods like cacti pads and assorted other involvements outside years and anticipates earning her by thinking that life should ulti- jackrabbit! the community) with the website de- Master’s degree in social work in Au- 26 / SUMMER 2009
gust. She can be reached at deboraha- 4. The quote is from Bateson’s essay, [email protected]. “Composing a Life Story,” which appears in The Impossible Will Take a Little While: Notes A Citizen’s Guide to Hope in a Time of Fear, 1. My coming Master’s degree requires ed. Paul Loeb (Basic Books, 2004), p. 209. that I use a long and obscure word in this 5. Middle-class Adulthood = column’s first sentence. It also requires Career(x2) + House + Landscaping + that I use notes. Car(x2) + Financial security + Spouse + “Silent Light” 2. Answer: At least nine times that I Kids A Film Review can count easily. I’ll list them for you if you 6. The friend’s name is Ted Springer ask. (see www.thelandwithnoname.net) and 3. Premature for me, that is, as I still the New York artist he works for is Ursula had six credits to go before earning my de- Von Rydingsvard (worth googling). Jim Juhnke gree. 7. www.rollingridge.net
Stalker We’re still not sure how she Carlos Reygadas, a Mexican film director, is the got out, but I picked up her paw latest in a long line of worldly wise artists to exploit prints easily enough in the freshly traditionalist Mennonite (or Amish) community as a fallen snow. No surprises. She’d canvas to express a creative spiritual vision. Reygadas’ new film, “Silent Light,” shared the Jury Prize with headed next door, went around the back another film at the Cannes Film Festival. It opened on to the trash cans, checked out January 7, 2009, at the Film Forum theater in Man- each washline pole, then proceeded hattan. It is not clear if and when “Silent Light” will be down the street, stopping at every released for wider distribution. An art film that makes great demands of its viewers, it will not likely reach a house to sniff at the usual places. mass audience. I caught up with her at I saw the film after paying a six-dollar senior dis- the Wilson’s garage door behind count admission fee at the Film Forum. “Silent Light” which their black Lab, Casey, had a greater impact on me that weekend than several other acclaimed shows that I saw on Broadway was raising a fuss. Some suppose (“Equus,” “In the Heights,” “Becky Shaw”) where my God is Holy Tracker, pursuing seats cost more than ten to fifteen times as much. I us down the days, following hope to see it again and recommend it, with reserva- the twisted trail of our tion, to others. The “Silent Light” story unfolds in the Old follies with relentless purpose. Colony Mennonite community of Chihuahua, Mex- I’m not so sure. But every ico. A Mennonite farmer—married, and father of six now and then I do feel followed. children—is committing passionate adultery with a I turn around and look. single Mennonite woman. We see the silent strength —Ken Gibble 27 28 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 29 and love of the family in extended is in Low German (Plautdietsch) with communities, will leave this film with ness” did turn out to be a popular box beautiful scenes of patterned behavior English subtitles. questions about the impact of the office success that resulted in a sub- at mealtime, at devotions, and at a Convincing proof of Regadas’ ge- project on Old Colony Mennonites stantial growth of tourism into Penn- swimming/bathing pool. nius as a film director lies in his ability in Mexico. Were these actors from the sylvania Amish country. The farmer and his lover are both to get his amateur cast to manifest the center or from the fringes I am not aware of any anguished by their infidelity that, if demeanor and expressions essential of Old Colony life? What Both “Witness” Mennonite scholar/ex- they continue, will bring chaos to for his extended camera takes. No was the attitude of the and “Silent Light” pert on the Old Colony family and community. The farmer doubt the director was helped by the truly traditionalist leaders sustain respect for Mennonites in Mexico tells the most important people in his fact that the sad and somber mood of toward this project? the core values who is taking up a role life about the problem—his wife, his “Silent Light” corresponds well with Two of the lead actors, akin to that of Hostetler father (who is also a preacher), and his the simplicity, gentleness, and impas- Cornelio Wall Fehr (Jo- and traditional in defending the tradi- good friend, a mechanic. sivity of Old Colony ways. han) and Maria Pankratz ways of Old Or- tionalist religious com- But none is able to help him con- One of the lead actors did not (Marianne), who played der and Old munity against outside trol his passion. The result is tragedy, come from the Chihuahua Old the farmer and his lover, Colony people. intrusion. There are sub- followed by a shocking shift into a Colony community. Miriam Toews, a went to the Cannes Film stantial differences in magical realist mode that implies prominent ex-Mennonite Canadian Festival and were photographed in these cases. Peter Weir, director of some kind of redemption. writer, plays the role of the farmer’s tuxedo and fancy dress along with “The Witness,” answered Hostetler’s “Silent Light” moves as slowly as wife. According to an article in the Carlos Regadas, “looking a bit sheep- charges by noting that he did not use an incoming tide. The audience has Toronto Globe & Mail, director Rey- ish.”2 This must remind us of the five any Amish actors and did not film any its attention span tested to the limit. gadas found her photograph on the young Amish adults featured in the actual Amish persons. Carlos Rey- The opening sunrise scene takes six inside cover of her popular novel, A ten-week 2004 television reality gadas’ success with “Silent Light” had minutes—moving from a dark starry Complicated Kindness (2004). The di- show, “Amish in the City.” These are everything to do with his Mennonite sky to the rich colors of clouds and the rector saw there “something mourn- people in hapless flight from their re- actors. rising sun, accompanied by the ful and broken and perfect for his new ligious/ethnic homes. Did the making of the film affect sounds of awakening insects and farm film.”1 Toews does not speak Low In 1984-85 the prize-winning the social fabric of the Old Colony animals. German, but that was no problem be- film, “Witness,” on an Old Order community? Perhaps not much. Subsequent scenes linger agoniz- cause her lines were few and perhaps landscape in Pennsylvania, prompted “Silent Light” is no blockbuster, and ingly long on the actors’ faces and on dubbed. a controversy about media exploita- the isolated Old Colony Mennonites, simple architecture, with human fig- There is an ironical difference be- tion. John A. Hostetler, an ex-Amish as far as I know, are unlikely to fall vic- ures subordinated as they move in or tween Regadas’ film and Toews’ sociologist and writer of books about tim to tourist voyeurism. out of the frame. Spoken words are novel. “Silent Light” is respectful of the Amish, warned against the corro- Both “Witness” and “Silent sparse. Viewers must listen to the si- Old Colony Mennonite life to the sive effects of this media invasion. Light” sustain respect for the core val- lence and see the subtle changes in the point of sentimentality. A Compli- Paramount Pictures offered one Old ues and traditional ways of Old Order light. cated Kindness is the polar opposite of Order Amish man two thousand dol- and Old Colony people. In both cases Perhaps the director’s most bold sentimental. Toews lashes out bitterly lars for the temporary use of his farm. there were some details about tradi- decision was to use non-professional against her home community of To another whose barn had recently tionalist life that the directors did not actors. Almost all are Mennonites Steinbach, Manitoba, for the wounds burned, they offered full payment for get exactly right. Reygadas has less in- whose ancestors migrated from Prus- that Mennonite religious bigotry in- an authentic Amish barn raising. The terest than Weir (and than most liter- sia to Russia to Canada, and, in the flicted upon her and her family. Amish rejected both offers. ature by Mennonites) in the social 1920s, to Mexico. Their names are fa- Nevertheless, Hostetler predicted mechanisms Mennonites use to miliar to those of Mennonite back- Those of us who have Amish and that the movie would “signal a mile- maintain boundaries against worldly ground: Wall, Pankratz, Klassen, Mennonites roots, as well as any who stone in the erosion of the social fabric influences. Both Weir and Reygadas Fehr, and Toews. All the conversation care about the fate of traditionalist of the Amish community.”3 “Wit- intended to produce works of art. 30 / SUMMER 2009 REEL REFLECTIONS They should not be judged primarily veal the aching contradiction be- by a standard of documentary fidelity tween human passion and social or- to Mennonite or Amish social reality. der. But by the conclusion I, for one, found it pretentious, confusing, and But what are we to make of the hints unconvincing as an ultimate spiritual of redemption at the conclusion of vision. “Silent Light”? Here the film falters. In the end, Reygadas shifts into a fan- —James C. Juhnke, Wichita, Kansas, is “The Soloist”— tastic world where the rules of nature, Professor Emeritus of History, Bethel of time, and of the social order no College. Flawed Genius, longer apply. A dead person awakens and the sun sets in the east. Unlike Notes Flawed Film Christian images of a future in 1. Simon Houpt, “Miriam Toews: A Review heaven, Regadas offers a mystical re- from author to actress,” Toronto Globe & turn to the past. Symbolic confession Mail, May 12, 2007, cited by Magdalene and contrition are apparently sup- Redekop, “‘Stellet Licht’ and the ‘Narcis- posed to make it magically possible sism of Small Differences,’ Rhubarb, Win- Dave Greiser for these plain and simple people to ter 2007 #16, 44. return to a blessed time before adul- 2 Redekop, 45-46. terous passion, before the Fall. 3. John A. Hostetler, “Marketing the Silent Light may be stunningly Amish Soul,” The Gospel Herald (June 26, beautiful and provocative. It may re- 1984), 452. I admit that I came to “The Soloist” with a level of personal investment. I loved the writing of Steve Lopez back in the 1990s when Lopez was a columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer and I was living in the city. In fact, I would occasionally quote his columns in sermons to the urban congregation I then served as pastor. I was crushed when Lopez took the money and ran to Los Angeles (back to his boyhood home, as it turned out) to work for the L.A. Times. During those years I also carried a never-ending fascination for the phenomenon of urban homeless- ness. How was it that the richest country in the world could allow so many people to sleep on its city streets? How was it that certain people actually preferred to sleep on newspaper unrolled over a heating grate, rather than spending the night in a heated room on a mattress? For me the questions at one point became even more personal. For a time, my wife and I befriended a schizophrenic man in our apartment building who 31 32 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 33 occasionally would go off his medi- somewhere in between. Possibly for tor decides that Lopez needs an ex- quickly apologizes for his outburst, it cine and spend several nights in a that reason, it is hard to track or to de- wife who is also his boss (played by seems to come out of nowhere. The nearby park. scribe the emotional tone of this film. Catherine Keener), with whom he common emotional arc of schizo- “The Soloist” helped me to re-ex- “The Soloist” does several things can presumably show us the self-cen- phrenia suggests that greater realism perience those years of my life with- very well. Through the effective use of tered jerk he was before meeting would have been achieved if out bringing me closer to finding actual homeless people and scenes Nathaniel and learning that people Nathaniel’s anger had been a recog- answers to my questions. The film is shot in and around a real-life shelter exist to be loved and not simply writ- nizable part of his personality based (rather loosely, at points) on the (credit director Joe Wright for these) ten about. Middlebrow Hollywood throughout the film. true story of Steve Lopez (played by the film provides an unsparing por- convention seems to require that Despite these weaknesses, “The Robert Downey Jr.) and trait of a homeless com- characters in stories learn “lessons.” Soloist” is a worthwhile two hours. It his real-life relationship We feel Lopez’ dis- munity. We feel Lopez’ Since the real-life Lopez was never di- takes us no closer to finding answers with Nathaniel Ayers orientation and disorientation and fear as vorced, and since the addition of this to the problem of homelessness—but (played by Jamie Foxx). fear as he seeks out he seeks out Nathaniel’s detail does little to advance the story, suggests that until the solutions of ex- Lopez discovers Ayers in Nathaniel’s overnight habitat, on one can only guess at the reason for perts are found, the caring of willing Los Angeles’ Pershing streets where crack ad- such a dramatic decision. amateurs may be the most honest, hu- overnight habitat, Park, sitting at the feet of dicts suck on pipes and The other area in which the film manizing response we can imagine. a statue of Beethoven on streets where couples huddle against struggles is in the always tricky depic- and playing Beethoven’s crack addicts suck chain link fences. Hollow tion of mental illness. For two-thirds —Dave Greiser spends his nights on a music on a violin with on pipes and cou- eyes seem to follow Lopez of the story, Nathaniel appears docile memory foam mattress next to his two strings. ples huddle against everywhere he goes. and relatively articulate. When he be- wife of thirty years, Anita. He lives Nathaniel’s rambling chain link fences. The film also excels in comes suddenly violent, then just as and teaches in Hesston, Kansas. speech suggests a serious its portrayal of the social mental illness, but when he mentions service workers who serve the home- as an aside that he once attended the less community. When Lopez insists Juilliard School, an otherwise disin- that a social worker should help him terested Lopez decides the man is to force Nathaniel to be committed worth one column. When a reader for treatment, the social worker sends Lopez a cello for Nathaniel, the calmly explains that unless Nathaniel one-off column becomes a relation- is an imminent threat to himself or ship. someone else, he cannot simply be A conventional Hollywood plot locked away. Diagnosis of mental ill- would suggest that the two men ness is an inexact practice; offering a would go on to develop a relationship man trust and friendship, the social which at first is strained but eventu- worker suggests, may do more to help ally reaches a revelatory moment in him in the long run than medication. which each man discovers that the The social workers in “The Soloist” other has something that he needs to are less saints than weary workers become whole. A less conventional whose organizations are completely plot line—one more worthy of recog- understaffed and underfunded. nition at Oscar time—would tell a harder hitting tale with a sad ending. The movie loses its way when it tries Since this is a true story and not either to fill out its characters through side- of the above, the actual plot falls bar stories. For some reason the direc- BOOKS, FAITH, WORLD & MORE DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 35 Epp, who teaches History and gested that marriages would improve Peace and Conflict Studies at Conrad if wives were submissive, obedient, Grebel University College of the Uni- and obliging to their husbands” versity of Waterloo, Ontario, is work- (278). ing within the Anabaptist tradition, but she includes a quotation from M. Each of the five main chapters views J. Heisey, who, she says, “has aptly ar- the experiences of Canadian Men- Lifting the Fog gued that ‘nonconformist Anabap- nonite women from a different per- A Review of Mennonite Women in Canada tists have largely borrowed their spective and each is introduced with a gender expectations from the colorful three-word title larger society’” (8). When we When we covering one of the five top- stop to think of it, we realize stop to think ics mentioned above. The Daniel Hertzler this society has been patriar- of it, we real- first chapter is “Pioneers, chal. ize this soci- Refugees, and Transnation- Epp makes another gener- als,” and she opens with the ety has been alization which I find of inter- accounts of three pioneer est. She differentiates between patriarchal. Mennonite women. The conservative groups such as first is Barbara Schulz Oesch Mennonite Women in Canada: A History by Marlene the Old Orders “who may have envi- (1803-1881), who moved to Ontario Epp. University of Manitoba Press, 2008. sioned women within a framework of from Bavaria in 1824 and who was to being different but equal and called bear 18 children. Her husband John When I was invited to review this book I thought for comparable yieldedness on the was ordained as a minister in 1829 “Why not?” but two-thirds of the way through it I be- part of both men and women, while and later died four days before the first came depressed. It seemed that all the men were certain ‘modern’ Mennonite groups birthday of their eighteenth child. “heavies” who either took women for granted, held uphold a rationale for subordination In 1875 came Katherina Hiebert them back, or even abused them. Then I thought to that is rooted in the fundamentalism (1855-1910) from Russia to Mani- relate the book to Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of of the Christian religious right wing toba, having married a widower with the United States which I reviewed in the last issue and and thus are not ‘progressive’ at all in five children. She was to become a which is intended as history from below. their attitudes to women” (21). midwife and healer whose “daughter Or as Epp puts it in the introduction, “In some She returns to the subject of the recalled that ‘She was always away, accounts of Mennonite pioneers and immigrants in fundamentalism now and then day and night, summer and winter, Canada, women are starkly invisible, although we throughout the book and observes tending the sick’” (24). know women were surely there” (3). It is the func- that women themselves at times came The third example is Susie Red- tion of this history to bring women out so they can out on different sides of the issue. For dekopp (1979-), whose great-grand- be seen as a significant part of Canadian Mennonite example, she mentions the 1971 book parents had come to Canada from history. “A main goal of this study is to explore Woman Liberated by Lois Gunden Russia but whose grandparents women’s roles, as prescribed and lived, within con- Clemens, “radical for its time, which moved to Mexico in the 1920s. She texts of immigration and settlement, household and argued that male-female sex differ- returned to Canada with her husband family life, church and organizational life, work and ences were the basis for gender equal- Henry in the 1990s. Henry was killed education, and response to societal trends and ity in church and society.” But she in a farm accident, so she went back to events” (4). Each of the five pairs above is covered in notes that “other Mennonites were Mexico. a separate chapter. also keen readers of The Total Woman As Epp observes, these “are all 34 by Marabel Morgan... which sug- Canadian Mennonite women, 36 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 37 though there is much about their life was her duty. Katherina apparently Among the pronouncements on went to the hospital with appendici- stories that is very different. Yet they gave him a good scolding and in- the subject of leadership included in tis, his wife took his place at three ses- share stories of diaspora, of uproot- structed the woman to stay in bed” the book is this one from the 1963 sions of a mission conference and ing, migration, and settlement, that (79). Mennonite Church Confes- raised $1184. “As churches are central to the histories of many Among the male efforts to main- sion of Faith in an article on “Women could gradually became more Mennonites who made Canada their tain the patriarchal order was a “Birth “symbols of Christian or- be leaders in flexible toward the idea of home” (25). Control Committee, appointed by der.” The statement ac- churches, but ‘women preachers,’ it was As stressful as their lives would the Mennonite Conference of On- knowledges that “in Christ often female missionaries have been, they would not have com- tario in 1944... a prime example of there is neither male nor fe- only when men who were granted the privi- pared with those of the refugees who an all-male decision-making body” male” but “it qualified spiri- were . . . not lege of speaking directly came to Canada as widows after their seeking to control women’s sexual ac- tual equality by stating that available....” from the pulpit” (147). husbands had disappeared during the tivity (92). ‘in order of creation God In summarizing this Stalin purges: “Women whose hus- Also this chapter cites the efforts has fitted man and woman for differ- chapter, Epp indicates that for 200 bands were dead or missing found of several male theological leaders to ing functions; man has been given a years in Canada “Mennonite women themselves performing traditional interpret the roles of the wives. B. primary leadership role, though the expressed their religiosity in multiple masculine roles—breadwinner, pro- Charles Hostetter wrote in the Cana- woman is especially fitted for nurture and varied ways.... tector, moral strategist—during their dian Mennonite in 1954 that “The and service’” (123). One assumes the “Women could be leaders in refugee sojourn in Europe and then as God-given duties of a wife were to re- article was written by men. churches, but only when men were new immigrants to Canada” (55). gard her husband as the head of the Numbers of Canadian Men- temporarily not available. . . . It was Chapter 2, “Wives, Mothers, and home, to convert the house into a nonite congregations did not include the feminist movement of the 1970s ‘Others’” is a wide-ranging survey of home, to assume the responsibilities women in formal church decisions. and following that ultimately pushed sexual mores, wedding practices, and of motherhood, and to provide a nor- “Until the latter half of the twentieth open the door to women in official the dangers of birthing and raising mal sex life for her husband.” Earlier, century, most churches denied church ministry positions” (177- children in the days before modern in 1919, Clayton F. Derstine had “ob- women direct participation in major 178). medical support systems. “Before the served that the home should be like a decision-making bodies of the church Second World War maternal mortal- ‘kingdom’ in which the father ruled” administrative structures” (135). The Chapter 4, “Nonconformists, Non- ity rates in Canada were high—in- (113). Home Street Mennonite Church in resistors and Citizens,” takes the story deed higher than in most other Winnipeg at one point had “at the in a slightly different direction but Western countries except the United Chapter 3, “Preachers, Prophets and same time a female treasurer while not continues the concern to show States—and childbirth related death Missionaries,” highlights the efforts allowing women to vote on church women bumping up against male as- was second only to tuberculosis in of women to exercise their gifts for business” (137). sumptions. Epp mentions two Men- cause of female deaths” (75). church leadership and finding them- Women as missionaries generally nonite perspectives: nonconformity Death of children was also to be selves restricted. Epp comments that found more opportunity to use their to the world and nonresistance in re- expected. “Indeed, it was rare if a “religion can be either oppressive or gifts for leadership, but problems sponse to warfare. “This chapter will nineteenth-century or early twenti- empowering in women’s lives, and could develop when they came home explore the gendered way in which eth-century family did not lose at least this is more likely, can be both simul- to report. “If the husband-and-wife Mennonite women lived out and ex- one of their children to illness or acci- taneously and also somewhere in be- missionary couple was speaking in a perienced the impact of these beliefs” dent” (87). tween” (121). Although Ann J. church, it was self-evident who would (181). Included in this chapter is a story Allebach was ordained as a Men- bring the message, the wife perhaps For the former, Epp was to dis- of one particularly unimaginative nonite minister in Philadelphia in speaking to the children’s Sunday cover that women were to carry a husband who “just after a baby was 1911, the first Canadian Mennonite school or the women’s organization.” heavier burden than men. “The dou- born... brought the cow to the door, woman to be ordained was Doris We- However in 1917, when P. W. ble standard of nonconformity was demanding that his wife milk it, as it ber in 1979. Penner, a missionary from India, particularly gender-specific when it 38 / SUMMER 2009 DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 39 came to dress” (183). She perceives with reference to how Mennonite signed roles, as found in Scripture, does seem ironic that ordination to that the influence of fundamentalism women expressed their creativity. only trouble could come to the realm the ministry and a Mennonite Miss affected the tensions which developed “Their desire for self-expression was of human relations.” (258-259). This Canada came about in the same year. over women’s behavior. “Fundamen- channeled into forms of creativity and issue, of course, does not go away. Dr talists shared a ‘general horror’ over output that were allowed for Men- Laura Schlessinger recently published In the end, Epp reiterates the goal of the ‘new women’ who had appeared in nonite women within the church and In Praise of Stay At Home Moms. her study. “My own feminist curiosity the twentieth century and were in- societal context that often circum- The end of the chapter describes led me to peer into the low-lying fog creasingly skeptical about the hith- scribed female behaviors and activity the efforts of women to obtain educa- that has hid the complexity of erto accepted beliefs in women’s in rigid ways” (226). This creativity tion and to become readers and writ- women’s lives in the Canadian Men- moral superiority” (185). was particularly demonstrated in ers. No one could stop them from nonite past” (282). She has lifted the In Swiss Mennonite churches homemaking, especially “handwork writing, but as Katie Funk fog. Where we go from women were expected to cover their and cooking.” However, “Mennonite Wiebe was to find, “‘writ- Is it possible to here, of course, is the heads in worship and to wear bonnets women also expressed themselves as ing can seldom be a first take seriously the continuing issue. As her instead of hats. Bonnets became an is- artists, writers, and musicians” (229). for women if they are lessons from a quote from M. J. Heisey sue in the First Mennonite Church of Household appliances began to wives and mothers. Moth- history such as has illustrated, we seem Kitchener, Ontario, and seem to have ligh-ten the housework burdens dur- ers don’t have a secretary. able to function only been a major factor leading to the for- ing the period surveyed. The purchase They don’t have wives. hers and support within the intellectual mation of Stirling Avenue, for a time of such household tools often took They can be interrupted each other . . . climate where we live. an independent Mennonite congre- second place to new machinery for by most anyone’” (271). challenge the en- Epp the researcher gation. It “quickly developed a repu- the farm to improve farm productiv- Yet some did write, as demic sexism in proposes more research, tation as a liberal church in which ity. But “Maria Martens Klassen was Wiebe herself was to our culture? indicating her hope “that women were allowed to be on the surprised when her husband used demonstrate. this book will encourage church council and participate their 1950 berry cheque to purchase a In the concluding chapter, Epp others to engage in research and writ- equally with men in church decision- vacuum cleaner, justifying the seem- suggests that 1979 “was in some re- ing that will continue to burn away making” (189). ing extravagance by saying it was the spects a pivotal point for Canadian the fog that still may linger.” Those of As for nonresistance, during only way he could get rid of the sales- Mennonite women generally.” us concerned about the practice of the World War II, of course, men were man” (247). Among the significant happenings radical Anabaptist tradition will hope drafted and women were not. Never- The issue of women working for was the ordination of Doris Weber as that it will be possible to go even far- theless, “CO women found them- pay outside the home called for the a minister and the arrival of Hmong ther. Is it possible to take seriously the selves supporting the ‘peace effort’ in usual discussion with both men and and Laotian women and their affilia- lessons from a history such as hers and much the same way that other Cana- women lining up on opposite sides. tion with Mennonites. Also in the support each other in a manner to dian women were supporting the ‘war Paul Erb, whose wife Alta Mae was a same year Heidi Quiring was challenge the endemic sexism in our effort’” (200). In addition, responsi- professional woman, wrote in Gospel crowned as Miss Canada. culture? The record suggests that this bilities and opportunities developed Herald “that ‘confining the woman “Yet coming at the end of a decade must be a delicate operation, one to be on the home farms and in the work into the four walls of the home, even in which second-wave feminists had undertaken with the appropriate fear force because of the absence of men. to the additional opportunities of denounced the beauty pageant phe- and trembling. Some Mennonite women also sup- Sunday school and the Missionary nomenon, the scenario created some- ported the soldiers and a few even and Service Auxiliary, does not pro- what of a puzzle for Mennonites who —Daniel Hertzler, Scottdale, Pennsyl- joined the military as, of course, did vide every outlet needed for our were trying to sort out what roles— vania, is an editor, writer, and chair some Mennonite men. women’” (258). traditional or ‘progressive’—Men- of the elders, Scottdale Mennonite In contrast, Oscar Burkholder nonite women should play” (276). It Church. In chapter 5 “Quilters, Canners, and “argued that when Christian men and Writers,” Epp begins again, this time women departed from their God-as- THE TURQUOISE PEN DREAMSEEKER MAGAZINE / 41 pretend it was all just a dream at the “Off with their heads!” I cried, end?” I waited breathlessly, a little and laughed uproariously. (I might faint, some humming in my ears. have been a little overwrought from How my world might change in just my dashed desire to know the Truth.) one sentence from this new- She looked at me like I found channel to the Truth! “Hey, you had just sprouted a puppy “I don’t know,” she said. wanna play out of my head. Second Generation “Look, can I have a cheese some chess, “It was in the book,” I sandwich this time for lunch? just like said. “The queen, you know.” I think I’m gonna throw up if I your mama “Whatever,” she said. “I have to eat her Jabberwocky did?” haven’t read it.” Noël R. King Crocky one more time.” Later that night by her “Um, okay,” I said. I watched her bed, I didn’t say anything when I legs go back and forth. It was slightly turned down her blankets and saw: hypnotic; I was starting to feel a little two dog-eared copies of Alice’s Adven- dazed. My moment of impending tures in Wonderland and Through the Truth had been so very short, and I Looking Glass and What Alice Found I was babysitting this kid one day and discovered needed a moment here to readjust to There, Alison’s name in bright pink on that her mom was Alice in Wonderland, all grown up life in its far more typically foggy the front, lying wide open beneath all now, her own winsome child in my loving, tender care form. her pillows. for the day. Seeing a pillow embroidered with “Well, she’s a little, you know,” Alison told me, a red chess king lying behind her on —As circumstances warrant, making the “she’s crazy” sign with her finger circling the couch, I finally said, “Hey, you through her Turquoise Pen her ear. wanna play some chess, just like your column Noël R. King, Scottsville, She leaned closer, close enough that I could smell mama did? That would be a really fun Virginia, reports on strange and her grape bubblegum breath. “Honestly? If she thing to do, don’t you think?” wonderful or worrisome things, weren’t so famous and all, I’d be living in a foster home “I hate chess,” she said. “I only including what happened when by now.” play cards.” Alice had Alison. “Really?” I said. “Probably,” she said, swinging her nine-year-old legs as she sat on the coffee table right in front of me. “She’s not much of a mom, you know,” she added. “She talks to the eggs, she talks to the cat, she sings all these songs that don’t make any sense. She forgets that I am not herself sometimes, even when it’s clear that I am not.” “Hmmm....” I said. I tried to get myself to attend fully to this perfectly reasonable little girl sitting there in front of me, but my longing to know something that I had pondered all these years finally won out: “Well, do you think all those things really did hap- pen to her just like the books said—before she tried to 40 New from Cascadia Publishing House Read DreamSeeker Magazine linking readers and authors interested in Loving Enemies: attending to “voices from the soul.” A Manual for Ordinary People Subscriptions billed for issues left in calendar Randy and Joyce Klassen year (we publish quarterly) at $3.75/issue. Suppose you subscribe midyear: we’ll bill $7.50 for two issues. ”Two earnest Christians, with artistic Subscriptions renew each January at $14.95 ($15.85 sensitivity born of suffering in their PAresidents) for coming year, but you may cancel any journeys of faith, challenge every religious time. (Can. pay in US funds $5.00/issue, $20/year, or contact us to pay by VISA/MC. 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“From brief lyrics to prose poems and Submissions to DreamSeeker Magazine verse essays, Neufeldt’s range is wide and Or perhaps you already subscribe to DreamSeeker Magazine and are an his touch sure. Sometimes meditative, some- author interested in being published in DSM, as a growing number of times flirting playfully with surrealism, al- writers are. Then what? Indeed a key part of the DSM vision is to support ways patient and often luminous, The Coat Is the work of gifted writers—without whose inspired contributions the Thin is filled with long-seasoned love for a magazine, of course, could not exist. However, the limited space available world that offers, among all its pain, ‘This in a quarterly magazine does not allow us to accept numerous unsolicited healing over, / this slow-paced economy / articles, particularly once we make space for articles by regular colum- of grace.’” —Jeff Gundy nists and those we solicit. However, we do want to publish some unso- 5.5 x 8.5” trade paper licited writing, aim to treat all unsolicited submissions respectfully,and 100 p, $13.95 US/Can. accept as many of them as we can. To submit, send queries or articles by e- Copublished with Herald Press. mail to [email protected] or to the Telford address above. (Note that articles submitted by mail without SASE are unlikely to be returned.) ORDER . . . From Amazon.com, BN.com, Herald Press, your local bookstore or Even as we can only publish a modest number of unsolicited articles, • [email protected] • 1-215-723-9125 • 126 Klingerman Rd.; Telford, PA 18969 we do very much encourage feedback, including short letters for publica- Shipping: best method $3.95 1st book, $1.00 each add. book (Can. $6.95/$3.00); PAres. 6% state tax tion and occasional longer response articles (350-400 words). Seeking to value soul as much as sales For more information and order options visit www.CascadiaPublishingHouse.com From the Cascadia backlist New from Cascadia Publishing House
Practicing the Politics of Jesus: Seeking Peace in Africa: The Origin and Significance of Stories from African Peacemakers John Howard Yoder’s Social Ethics ed. Donald E. Miller, Scott Holland, Earl Zimmerman Lon Fendall, and Dean Johnson “Zimmerman . . . has produced a very useful “The WCC ...isvery pleased to be part of volume....Yoder’s The Politics of Jesus ...has this...theological consultation by the His- influenced generations....Zimmerman’s toric Peace Churches. For the voices of work setsYoder’s seminal book firmly in the Africans associated with the Historic Peace context of the latter’s life story; the result is Churches to be . . . heard within the ecu- both a satisfying, brief account ofYoder’s life menical context, it is important to create and a summary of his major ideas.” platforms such as this one....” —J. Birdwhistle, Choice: Current —Samuel Kobia Reviews forAcademic Libraries 6 x 9” trade paper 6 x 9” trade paper 248 p, $22.95 US/Can. 276 p, $22.95 US/Can. Copublished with Herald Press. Copublished with Herald Press.
New the DreamSeeker backlist Under Vine and Fig Tree: Biblical Theologies of Land and the Palestinian-Israeli Conflict That Amazing Junk-Man: ed. Alain Epp Weaver The Agony and Ecstasy of a Pastor’s Life Truman Brunk Seeking to value soul as much as sales “Brunk, storyteller extraordinaire, “The living experience of the authors has finally committed some of his best to sharing in the hardships of this land has print. They come from his rich life as a builder generated this book’s wisdom and witness. of houses and more importantly as a builder Their perspectives offer new dimensions of human beings. Some of his stories are part and great depth to the theological exegesis Garrison Keillor and part Mark Twain.” of the local Palestinian people and land— —Gerald W Kaufman, L. Marlene Kaufman considered by many theologians as 5.5 x 8.5” trade paper the fifth gospel.” 216 p, $14.95 US/Can. —Zoughbi Zoughbii, Director, Wi’am Copublished with Herald Press. Palestinian Conflict Resolution Center 5.5 x 8.5” trade paper
ORDER . . . From Amazon.com, BN.com, Herald Press, your local bookstore or ORDER . . . From Amazon.com, BN.com, Herald Press, your local bookstore or • [email protected] • 1-215-723-9125 • 126 Klingerman Rd.; Telford, PA 18969 • [email protected] • 1-215-723-9125 • 126 Klingerman Rd.; Telford, PA 18969 Shipping: best method $3.95 1st book, $1.00 each add. book (Can. $6.95/$3.00); PAres. 6% state tax Shipping: best method $3.95 1st book, $1.00 each add. book (Can. $6.95/$3.00); PAres. 6% state tax
Seeking to value soul as much as sales For more information and order options visit www.CascadiaPublishingHouse.com For more information and order options visit www.CascadiaPublishingHouse.com New from Cascadia Publishing House Herald Press: Summer Titles
Like Those Who Dream: Sermons for Jesus Matters Salford Mennonite Church and Beyond Good News for the 21st Century James C. Longacre, with Each author in this collection teams with one or foreword by Walter Brueggemann more young adults to consider the various ways “Longacre’s incisive mind, global perspec- we encounter and experience Jesus. Topics tive, dry wit, and keen theological insight include Jesus and creation, Jesus and the cross, make these biblical reflections wonderfully Jesus and salvation, Jesus and the Bible, and Jesus relevant for anyone on the road following and the future. Authors include Michele Jesus.” —J. Nelson Kraybill, President, Hershberger, Mark Thiessen Nation, Willard Associated Mennonite Biblical Seminary Swartley, and April Yamasaki. Paper, 260 pages, $16.99 5.5 x 8.5” trade paper 200 p, $18.95 US/Can. Copublished with Herald Press. Practices Mennonite Worship and Witness John D. Roth examines the traditions of New from DreamSeeker Books Anabaptist-Mennonite worship and reflects on The Mill Grinds Fine: Collected Poems how distinctive Mennonite practices such as bap- Helen Wade Alderfer. tism, communion, foot washing, and common “Out of a lifetime of tough wisdom born of meals extend beyond the church as a witness to deeply felt beauty, grief, humor, and grace, the world. Alderfer writes of ordinary things with eter- Engaging and thought provoking. nal import: food for a tramp, the indelible glory of a flamboyant tree, a sermon gone Paper, 226 pages, $12.99 stale, Simon running into town naked for lack of rain, the tender shock of a child’s eye-view, a father’s brand new suit seen Words for Worship 2 only in a casket.” Diane Zaerr Brenneman assembled this dynamic —Wilbur J. Birky, Professor of English Emeritus, Goshen College collection of prayers, litanies, and other elements for worship throughout the church year. Creative 5.5 x 8.5” trade paper use of language and imagery expands the voice of 136 p, $12.95 US/Can. the people in worship, increasing their opportuni- Copublished with Herald Press. ties to connect with God. Complete services for seasons of the Christian year include Ash ORDER . . . From Amazon.com, BN.com, Herald Press, your local bookstore or Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, • [email protected] • 1-215-723-9125 • 126 Klingerman Rd.; Telford, PA 18969 Shipping: best method $3.95 1st book, $1.00 each add. book (Can. $6.95/$3.00); PAres. 6% state tax Christmas Eve, and Longest Night. Paper, 296 pages, $24.99
Seeking to value soul as much as sales 1 800 245-7894 • www.heraldpress.com For more information and order options visit www.CascadiaPublishingHouse.com New from DreamSeeker Books New from Cascadia Publishing House
Long After I’m Gone: A Persistent Voice: Shifting A Father-Daughter Memoir Marian Franz and Conscientious Objection Deborah Good with Nelson Good to Military Taxation Here a father's history-telling combines with Marian Franz and more a daughter's personal journey of remem- These essays by Franz span her years of lob- brance, loss, and grief. The voice of Nelson bying the U.S. Congress to enact the Peace Good intertwines with that of his young Tax Fund Bill, which would allow conscien- adult daughter, Deborah, as he fights the tious objectors to pay taxes into a fund for cancer that will kill him while telling her the nonmilitary purposes. Franz is joined by stories of seven projects, communities, and colleagues who contribute chapters unique organizations he had cared about. “At its to their perspectives and expertises. “These heart, a love story.” —John Stahl-Wert splendid essays vividly offer the daring vi- 5.5 x 8.5” trade paper sion of a bold visionary” —Ron Sider 208 p, $13.95 US/Can. 6 x 9” trade paper Copublished with Herald Press. 212 p, $19.95 US/Can. Copublished with Herald Press.
New from Cascadia Publishing House New from DreamSeeker Books
Peace to War: Shifting Allegiances in the Assemblies of God A Hundred Camels: Paul Alexander A Mission Doctor’s Sojourn and Murder Trial in Somalia Once the Pentecostal peace witness Gerald L. Miller with Shari Miller Wagner extended throughout the movement and around the world—but was eventually “Underneath the excitement of the court- muted and almost completely lost in the room drama, murder trial, and many es- American Assemblies of God. This book capades in a new culture, lies the story of tells the story of that shift. “The first time how one man’s spirit grew.” I read this manuscript,” J. Denny Weaver Shirley H. Showalter, in the Foreword reports, “it shocked me.” 6 x 9” trade paper 5.5 x 8.5” trade paper 432 p, $26.95 US/Can. 228 p, $13.95 US/Can. Copublished with Herald Press. Copublished with Herald Press.
ORDER . . . From Amazon.com, BN.com, Herald Press, your local bookstore or ORDER . . . From Amazon.com, BN.com, Herald Press, your local bookstore or • [email protected] • 1-215-723-9125 • 126 Klingerman Rd.; Telford, PA 18969 • [email protected] • 1-215-723-9125 • 126 Klingerman Rd.; Telford, PA 18969 Shipping: best method $3.95 1st book, $1.00 each add. book (Can. $6.95/$3.00); PAres. 6% state tax Shipping: best method $3.95 1st book, $1.00 each add. book (Can. $6.95/$3.00); PAres. 6% state tax
Seeking to value soul as much as sales Seeking to value soul as much as sales For more information and order options visit www.CascadiaPublishingHouse.com For more information and order options visit www.CascadiaPublishingHouse.com Jake He told me once he tore a ligament playing high school football. His limp is only slight most times, but today the weather’s cold, damp. He looks and sounds old. I see he’s come to talk, a gentle giant, six foot five, father of five boys who’ve driven more than one Sunday school teacher into reluctant retirement. He loves them, loves their mother who’s sick now, very sick. How’s Rose? I say to get the conversation underway. I know that’s why he’s here. She’s bad, he says, then sits and twists his hands. I try again: how are the boys handling this? He shrugs. We sit in silence. Minutes pass. He lifts his head. He’s furious, his voice a roar.
If she’s gonna die anyway . . . He stops, begins again . . . I wish to God she’d just get on with it. He staggers to his feet, lurches to the door and through it, gimps his way to the parking lot. I murmur a blessing. Go, Godwrestler, I say as he drives away. —Ken Gibble