German Market illustration by Lewis Heriz

LeftLion Magazine Issue 14 Welcome to the Christmas and New Year December 2006-January 2007 4. Notts The Nine O’Clock News issue of our magazine (or perhaps more accurately newspaper – but without much of the ‘newsy’ stuff). Editor 5. Wheels of Change Jared Wilson ([email protected]) 6. Die Neue Scheiße/ All That Jezz We’ve been really busy recently, but in Deputy Editors a good way. We got shortlisted for the Al Needham ([email protected]) Record of the Day music journalism and Nathan Miller ([email protected]) 7. Live Pursuit PR awards in the category of Best Free Music Magazine. So Alan (the Technical Technical Director 9. New Years Eve Extravaganza Director and co-founder of LeftLion) and I Alan Gilby ([email protected]) went down to the awards ceremony at the Marketing and Sales Manager 10. The Ground Hogs 100 Club on to schmooze it Ben Hacking ([email protected]) up with a room of predominately - 13. Mighty And Quite Possibly High based hacks. Unfortunately we didn’t win Artistic Director the award, but we made the most of the David Blenkey ([email protected]) free bar and those little nibbly bits of food 15. Natural Born Rocker they serve up on silver trays. We were Listings Editors also happy to participate in the industries Florence Gohard ([email protected]) Tim Bates ([email protected]) 16. When They Were Peasants favourite sport of backslapping, but with a twist… we had LeftLion stickers in our Music Editor 17. There’s Only One Jason Lee hands! By of the night everyone Sadie Rees-Hales ([email protected]) from the Editor of the NME to an American 18. Striking Back guy who claimed to be the PR for American Proofreaders rock band Mr Big were inadvertently Charlotte Kingsbury ([email protected]) repping our style! Natasha Chowdhury 19. The Anti-Christmas Photography Editor In this issue you’ll find the usual mix of Dom Henry ([email protected]) 23. Through The Rocking Glass/ features and interviews with people from and beyond. are Photographers Electric Dreams playing at the Ice Arena in December, so Ben Cipher we got them in for a chat. Likewise with Dave Bevan Lois Advert who play at the Social David Bowen 24. Jon Rouston and Hollywood icon , who 25. Artists Profiles we caught up with after her recent gig at Illustrators Rescue Rooms. Alasdair Couch 26. Out and About Lewis Heriz I got to put some questions to two of my Rob White ([email protected]) current favourite people, of Rikki Marr ([email protected]) 28. Nottingham Events Listings (who has been making me laugh a lot via the medium of DVD) and Contributors 35. Nottsword/ Pub Quiz Jason Lee (who’s been making me happy Amanda Young as a County fan by banging in the goals at Andy Clydesdale 36. Bagels and Nottingham Zoo Meadow Lane). James Walker Jenny Hill We also feature a range of great Jesse Keene 37. Creative WritingWriting Nottingham-based acts who will be Mary Gallagher Michelle Bayton HorHorrorscopesrorscopes performing at LeftLion gigs over the next Paul Klotschkow 38. couple of months including Formication, Roger Mean The Smears, Nuclear Family, DJ Squigley, Tom Hathaway Das Ragworms, Jezz Hall, Sidearm, Bassrooster and Alice Rock (Happy Magician In Residence birthday to you). Jack Curtis

Emigrating to Ireland So, buoyed on by a bit of acclaim from the Paul Dilger music journalism industry, we have grand plans to take LeftLion to the next level in 2007. Stick with us, it’ll be a fun journey… ”It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year puzzled ‘till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of from all our crew! something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” Dr. Seuss [email protected] LeftLion 349a Mansfield Road Nottingham NG5 2DA 0115 9123782

If you would like to reach our readers by advertising your company in these pages please contact Ben on 07843 944910 or email [email protected]

LeftLion magazine has an estimated readership of 40,000 in the city of Nottingham. In September 2006 LeftLion.co.uk received over 450,000 page views. Nominated as Best Free Music Magazine in the UK Record of the Day Awards 2006

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 3 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT WINTER

I only like winter when I’m looking out from a warm house, wrapped in a blanket with a nOTTs THE NINE cup of tea thinking “I don’t have to go out for anything. Yesssss.” Nuclear B-Boy The clear skies you get on cold, wintery nights. O’CLOCK NEWS Frost forming on trees and sparkling at night time. with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham I love the fact that the moon is closest to the Earth at this point of the year. Mulled wine, making soups with fresh bread, hearing the frosty ground 1 October twin city in Germany has knocked out fourteen of the bastards. crunch under your feet. I love winter. £700,000 gets spent on the improvement of Canning Circus. Sara Pathetically, they don’t spend it on trapezes, clown cars, 26 October Winter is good because I hate the feeling of elephants and other things that would make the place live up An unbelievably fuckwitted bent copper gets sent down for sweat on my body when it’s warm, and you to its name. passing on information about murder witnesses to crims via the don’t sweat much in winter. It’s also the time manager of Limeys (the sort of clothes shop you go to kit out you are most likely to get a good blanket of 4 October for your next court appearance) in exchange for a discount on snow, and everyone knows snow rocks. Goose Fair opens, selling peas for a pound a pot. Let me say chatty clobber. Yep, you read that right - innocent people with BRJ that again, but this time in bold; peas for a pound a pot. A info on the Marian Bates and Stirlands murders were put at pound. For a pot. Of peas. risk because some cunt wanted 50% off a Stone Island jumper. I love getting all wrapped up in hats and Funnily enough, the last time I went past there, they were gloves and big coats. I love getting up in the 5 October having a half price sale. That’s irony, Alanis Morissette! morning when it’s still dark and having to run An incredibly vital survey commissioned by Nottingham into the shower to warm up. I love getting University discovers that 97% of people who won more than a 27 October home from work when it’s nearly dark outside million quid on the lottery were happier than they were before. David ‘Let’s headhunt a Pizzeria and watch a football and coming into a warm cosy house with a hot club dive down the toilet’ Platt sues Forest for a £50,000 cup of tea waiting for me. What next? Maybe they ought to commission an expedition in LadyBee the woods to see what that strange brown stuff that hangs out performance bonus. Yes, he’s a fish-faced cock-bucket, but of bears’ arseholes is. what the fuck were Forest doing offering fifty grand as a reward th I like winter because I’m not an outdoorsy for getting to 11 in the Second Division? person, and in winter nobody says things 7 October like “Don’t waste the whole day cooped up in Sorry, but I’m gonna have to say it one more time; a pound for 30 October here,” etc etc. a pot of peas. Local news story of the bi-month that sounds like a bad pollypocket Irvine Welsh novel. A smackhead in St Anns leaves her dead 8 October neighbour to rot down to a skelly in his bed for six months so 1. Can start bustin’ beanies without having to Non-black cabbies hold a protest march in town over the fact that she can spend his pension on gear. consider other hat options. they can’t use the same routes in the city centre that the Hackney 2. Hot squash is an acceptable alternative to cabs use. Unsurprisingly, the march veers right off course, goes 8 November coffee. through all the back streets away from its destination, and stops to Some poor sod is shot outside a pub in Bulwell, dumped in the 3. White wine out - Red wine in. boot of a car and left in Papplewick. Fucking hell, why didn’t 4. The cold can be used as an excuse for look at an A to Z with the meter still running. Twice! drinking brandy/carrying hipflask. they cut his tab off to Stuck In The Middle With You while they 5. New Year’s Eve missions. 16 October were at it? Mr.Dubbs He’s a Record Breaker! David Wyler of Notts gets done for growing the strongest weed ever found in the UK. Forensic scientists 10 November discover his gear (grown in a house in Ilkeston) contains a 29% Cor Blimey O’Reilly! Town is absolutely invaded by lesbians PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO LIVE THC content, enough to stun a rhinoceros and make it walk about for the weekend, as Pink and the Scissor Sisters play the Arena on consecutive nights. IN CITY CENTRE PONCE BOXES in the Square and wave its cock at the window of Wetherspoons. 17 October 11 November People in places like New York and London The Institution of Civil Engineers announce that our tram system The last chance of a Forest-County match this season goes for like city apartments because they don’t want is the bestest, acest, skillest and wicked-bad-freshest in the UK. a toss in the first round of the FA Cup. Forest tonk Yeading, to spend three hours a day commuting. But in Next time I see one in town, I’m going to touch and lick it. Notts lose to Orient. Sigh. Nottingham you can get from anywhere in the city to the city centre in half an hour at most - fucking hell, if you live in Sherwood or the 19 October 13 November Meadows, you can actually walk to work if you Just like Prince, The Airport Formerly Known As East Local police claim to find cocaine in 24 of 28 bars in the Off-Your- feel like it. Midlands wants to change its fucking name again, because Face Market. They were obviously too busy chewing the sides of Lord of the Nish Derby and Leicester are whining like the mardy little bitches their mouths, talking a right load of shit in the other four then. they are. In that case, I suggest they change it to ‘Sheep- It’s unforgivable the way developers expect to Shagging Jumper-Making Gun-Crime Airport’. 14 November be thanked for urban regeneration when it’s Researchers claim that the Playhouse generates £13m a year so obviously money grabbing - and coming 20 October for the local economy. Ever bought a round in there to impress undone at that. Broadway reopens. Hmm. The Paul Smith double seats are the fanny? You’ll know why, then. David supposed to be ace, but I’m not sure about the downstairs bar. It’s a bit like a medieval banqueting suite designed by Habitat. 15 November What would be a better thing to do with The shitbag who stabbed that student lad outside Brownes buildings that are no longer used for industry gets banged up. Hurrah! in the city centre, let them rot and fall down? 21 October There’s a fair few new builds but also lots of West Bridgford slips through the time-space continuum and conversions, which can only be a good thing. reappears in the 1980s, as a wine bar gets smashed up by 18 November Making use of buildings that are always there Bristol City hooligans. Sadly, Howard Jones doesn’t turn up to Real man of the bi-month; the manager of Gedling Southbank, and retaining some character is okay in my shake hands with folk and generally calm things down whilst who made his missus sit with him during their vital clash book… singing Like To Get To Know You Well. Shame, that. against Awsworth Villa even though she had gone into labour theonelikethe before the match. 22 October Redeveloping the buildings physically is Bulwell, obviously a bit miffed that Bestwood is getting all 21 November absolutely the right thing to do. And some the attention these days, roars back into contention with a Moaning about the new tram lines starts. Already. For fuck’s sake. of them look fantastic. But the economic and stabbing. social benefits of this ‘regeneration’ are as real 24 November as Posh’s tits. 23 October Carl Froch wins his latest fight in the Ice Arena. Some other Mrs Hood The council announce that they’re spending another £650,000 twats in the audience who weren’t even getting paid for it won Britain’s new build housing is the smallest on rubbish bins - which is nearly one for every Greggs and their’s an’all, in a chair-throwing jamboree during the interval. per square feet in Europe. In thirty years Subway in town. The bell-ends. time we’ll be knocking down all these crappy apartments. This isn’t Tokyo for god’s sake; 24 October 25 November let’s have some high ceilings and big rooms. Uh oh - the first jailing for Council Tax evasion goes down, A 16 year-old crack dealer from St Anns is caught by the police pandapad with some bloke getting forty days in the naughty room for trying to swallow 22 wraps of smack and coke, despite being running up a £2,700 debt. fitted with a pacemaker. Fucking hell, why stop there? Wasn’t there a microwave he could have rubbed against his chest while 25 October he was at it? Well, about fucking time! Two new tram lines are announced, which will run through Clifton, Chilwell and Beeston. Fact: 27 November since the first one was opened two and a bit years ago, our Did I mention that it cost a quid for a pot of peas at Goose Fair?

4 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 Wheels Of Change words: Mary Gallagher (of The Big Wheel)

We’d all like to change the world. But let’s face it first we’re going to have to change ourselves… just a little bit.

TWO NEW TRAM LINES APPROVED

£578m?! Phew that’s steep! Not cheap these trams are they? Bring ‘em on though I say. They seem more reliable, safer and faster than buses. BRJ

I was really sceptical about the trams at first but they’re turning out to be great if I’m honest. As someone who doesn’t drive, between the trams and the bus getting around Notts has never been easier. I Got Connected To A Freaky Phone

Have to agree that the trams seem more reliable than the buses, but I do wonder what the buses might be like if they had £578 million spent on them. That’s £914 for every The environment is a big issue at the moment. There are backed by councils and companies across the city. The person in the Greater Nottingham area. more statistics out than ever before, telling us about the Big Wheel are committed to keeping our city moving and MetricMike dangers of what will happen to our global atmosphere if we looking after our environment - for the sake of a clean, green don’t act now and about the damage we’ve already done. city that can grow. It’s worth the effort, especially since 75% of the money Did you know that globally we need to cut greenhouse gas will come from central governmentt. The current line is emissions by 60% by 2050 if we are to avoid catastrophic Public transport really does make a difference. Not only great with the only drawback being that it is alone, so climate change? Or that the warmth produced by global does it cut the number of cars on the roads, which cause connections to buses are still needed to reach much of the climate change so far is the equivalent of a one watt light traffic and noise pollution, but it significantly reduces the city outskirts. bulb shining constantly over an area of one square meter amount of carbon dioxide produced per person in each bophoto everywhere on the planet? Facts like these are in the journey taken. Did you know a double-decker bus carries newspapers, on the television and radio and they should the same amount of people as 20 fully laden cars? Add to I think people arguing against the expansion of the tram (and do) worry most of us. But are you sick of them yet? ‘It’s that the fact that ten miles in a petrol car produces roughly system are short-sighted. Granted they’re gonna have to all doom and gloom!’ I hear you cry. four kilograms of carbon dioxide, whereas ten miles in a bus tear up some green spaces and unavoidably piss a few produces only one kilogram by comparison. With facts like people off but in the long run it’s better for the city, the Well, how about we try a different approach? Instead of these you can really grasp what a difference our transport economy and the environment. Traffic in Nottingham is focusing on the downright miserable, why not focus on the choices make to the environment. Also don’t forget the an absolute nightmare. This would alleviate the massive fact that we can change the long term effects of climate massive financial savings you can make every year by bottleneck on Derby Road between the Uni campus and change by changing the way we live now - most of us are leaving your car at home. It only costs £350 for a whole The Park. trying in little or big ways. If you want to make a difference year’s unlimited travel on NET and NCT transport. Compare myhouse-yourhouse it is possible, easy and it won’t hurt your wallet! that to the costs of running your car.

Why not try concentrating on the way you get around But remember, you don’t just have to use the bus to travel Look at what it has done for Hucknall too: it seems to have Nottingham for a start? Nottingham’s public transport in an eco-friendly way. Why not get on your bike or start boomed around that commuter route area - also it allows system and the way we use it is improving all the walking for a change? If saving the planet and your bank people to buy houses in cheaper areas and still not be faced time. Public transport is important and something the balance isn’t enough motivation here are a few more with a commuting issue. In my opinion though, the Clifton whole nation should focus on if we are ever going to cut fascinating facts to leave you with: line won’t solve any congestion issues unless they build a emissions. It’s looking good in Nottingham; we’re bucking massive carpark like Pheonix Park on greenbelt land off the the national trend, with lots of people getting back on the A fifteen minute bike ride to and from work five times a A453 as an artery to the motorway. bus over the last year. There were over 75 million trips on week burns off the equivalent of eleven pounds of fat in a Ben Cipher public transport in 2005 and there has been an impressive year! increase of nearly six percent of passengers over the last Having lived in Long Eaton, the park and ride at The four years. If you’re on of those passengers give yourself a The average driver will spend fourteen days of their lives Forest was one of the best things traffic-wise that I can pat on the back! waiting for traffic lights to change. remember... haven’t been in a multi-storey in years since I discovered that. And they’re putting one in at the Bardills The Big Wheel is all about sustainable transport and we’re Cyclists and pedestrians absorb lower levels of pollutants Island too, which is fantastic for that side of town. Plus, trying to show people in Nottingham just how easy it is to from fumes than car drivers. the trams are pretty much always clean and on time, and if get from A to B in an environmentally friendly way. It brings you’re lucky you can sometimes get away with a free ride. together bus, tram, train, car, cycling and walking and is www.thebigwheel.org Sofy

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 5 Die Neue Scheiße

Das Ragworms are a crazy band whose name translates from German as… erm The Ragworms! With strong links to the bunch of scribblers at The Lurking Hole, what else would you expect? Anyway they’ve been making a few appearances around Notts of late, not least at December’s LeftLion Unplugged. So we caught up with them for a spot of chinwagging… words: Andy Clydesdale

So for the uninformed, who the hell are Das Ragworms and what do they do? Witkowski: Das Ragworms is the bastard spawn of the small town mentality combined with a healthy dose of love, death and homemade wine. We play dance songs for the damned, doomed and downtrodden heroes of rural pastures. Rejoice! Vasey: We are Vasey and Witkowski, together we’re Das photo: Dave Bevan Ragworms and we’re here to remind folk that it’s okay to solid stone. So I went out and seen a record with a picture of Vasey: Brumingham was a disaster. I don’t think we even take a sweetie as long as they take a sit in our car. a man riding on the front and sold I was. finished the set. Which one of you is most likely to be the ‘Poster Boy?’ Witkowski: Whose fault was that? Witkowski: Vasey, for his strong and aerodynamic nasal I’ve heard Vasey may just be a figment of my mate’s Vasey: Yours! features and moustache. He’s already a poster boy back home. imagination as he keeps mysteriously appearing in his Witkowski: Piss off. Vasey: Our drummers are usually very handsome chaps but house after parties. Will you be bringing the party to The Vasey: Don’t swear! now all we have left of them is a pile of bodies in our cellar. Malt Cross come 12 December? So it’s me! Vasey: Yes. You’ll see me there. I’m as real as Jack the Ripper What does the future hold for Das Ragworms? Witkowski: And there’s sure to be singing and dancing Vasey: More gigs, more stupidity and far more drummer deaths. What makes you do what you do? a-plenty. Witkowski: Only God knows what the future holds. Who you Vasey: Dogs tell us to do it and its fun. calling stupid? Witkowski: We’ve done it ever since the old man made my What’s been the biggest highlight of 2006 for you? first when I was nineteen. Vasey’s old boy happened Vasey: August the fifth! Manrod! Ol’ moot hall inn. If you weren’t answering these questions now what to make him a bass around the same time. Then ol’ ma taught Witkowski: Playing Beastmangoat’s Manrodeo barn dance would you be doing? us all these shanties, and it wasn’t long before we were extravaganza at the Old Moot Hall on Denzil’s day. That was a Witkowski: There’s always something to be done around writing our own. The first record I remember buying, no shit, hoot alright. Handsome crowd and a handsome venue. the farm. was Timmy Mallet. Do you remember what yours was? Vasey: Whisky and wine always bring home the good times. Witkowski: Don’t swear! I think mine was The Bonnie Ship The lowlight? the Diamond by Lloyd or some such thing. Still listen to that Witkowski: Probably about an hour later having to go Das Ragworms play LeftLion Unplugged beauty today. to Accident and Emergency after Vasey started on two at the Malt Cross on Tuesday 12 December 2006 Vasey: The first time I was personally inspired to buy a who called him Mercury. We’d have had ‘em record was when I heard the clatter of my horse’s hoof hit normally but someone spiked our mead and we fell down. www.dasragworms.co.uk

frfromom Mississipi John HurtHurt records.records. Doc WWatsonatson and John Hartford are two others to spring to mind and I’ve got to mention . All that I understand you’ve spent a lot of time in Mississippi. How did this affect your song writing? I was already writing songs when I went out there but when I came back I was much more excited about Jezz... it because my head was full of experiences. I met the bluesman RL Burnside whilst out there and I also met an From a toddler listening to Elvis, to learning old fife player. He was called Othar Turner and was ninety to play like blues legend Mississippi John years old at the time. He shared some of his moonshine Hurt, Jezz Hall has come a long way. With his with me, which was very nice of him. collection of musicians playing the likes of You have two previous releases Smalltown and When the double bass, cello, mandolin and fiddle, the Music is Over. Tell us about them… Jezz Hall Band carry Nottingham audiences They are very different but they do follow on from each into deep America through an array of folk other I think. Smalltown was me having fun playing with different styles and learning to find my voice as and blues traditions. We liked them so much a songwriter. When the Music is Over is a much more last time they played LeftLion Unplugged that cohesive , its also darker and much more reflective. we thought we’d ask them back for more… words: Andy Clydesdale When is your next release? I’m very excited about the next record, I think it will be the one I’ve been working towards making. I’m very How long have you been playing Nottingham for? happy about the songs and I think me and Andy (Hill) Well I first played in Nottingham many moons ago at the have learned the right approach to recording me. That is Running Horse, which was the first time I’d ever played to keep things simple and to give me space to play live. anywhere. I started playing regularly about ‘95 or ‘96, but My favourite recording from the last CD was a track called it’s only the last four years that I’ve been playing and touring Meadow by the Sea, which was me on voice and guitar, Phil out of town, mainly on the folk scene, although I don’t think Jackson on mandolin and Wayne Evans on double bass all that’s where I belong. So after recording the last CD I’ve just sat around in a circle. We ended up using the first take taken a step back to look at where it is I see myself going. and that’s the approach we are going to take with the next some friends on stage with me playing bass and fiddle I one. In your music I hear a little Bonnie Prince Billy, Lou Reed don’t know yet. But it will be good! Come down or else I’ll and a lot of Dylan. Are these your influences? burgle your house. There are sure to be countless potential Jezz Hall fans I’d like to be very careful about quoting influences because reading this. Convince them to come to see you at the they get taken out of context and come back to haunt Malt Cross in January… you. But the names you have mentioned have all spent Jezz Hall plays LeftLion Unplugged at the Malt Cross on Well… I’m trying to create and capture something beautiful considerable time in my CD player. I also really like old Tuesday 16 January 2006 but simple when I’m on stage, I try to use phrasing and the time American folk music and I learned fingerstyle picking silent spaces inbetween to draw people in. Maybe I’ll have www.jezzhall.com

6 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 On 15 December The Social will play host to a loads then periods when I don’t do anything, which could To have an orchestra behind me while I was drumming felt special party to celebrate the end of term. To help be anything up to a year. really powerful. It is something I will never forget! Plus to with the celebrations, and Richard play at the Hollywood Bowl, which is such a prestigious Colburn from Scotland’s pre-eminent jangly, Do you know Nottingham well? venue, is a real honour. Yeah, I’ve been to Nottingham a few times in the past and indie-popsters Belle and Sebastian will be heading from what I can remember it is always good. I’ve actually What are your other outstanding gig memories? down to spin a few tunes to get everyone dancing. played at The Social four or five times, I even played there Loads of gigs have been great, you know? When we first LeftLion caught up with Richard in his home in with a few years back and I did a gig with the did that was pretty special, just because it Scotland… words: Paul Klotschkow Reindeer Section too. I don’t think we will hear anything was a television institution and we were pretty unknown new from the Reindeer Section in the near future, Gary at the time. The first Glastonbury we did was great, but Hello Richard, how are you? (Lightbody) is too busy with Snow Patrol at the moment. Glastonbury always is, as was the first Benicassim festival Hi, I’m good thanks! I’m sure he wants to get round to doing something with the that we did. It is nice to go to a festival and have good Reindeer Section eventually, but right now he just doesn’t weather. We also once played a festival down in Brazil. Where are you? have the time. Thich was another great experience as it is not somewhere I’m currently at home, which is a small fishing village just you get the chance to play often. south of St Andrews. I’ve lived here for about eight years. It’s going to be Christmas soon. What has been the worst Christmas present that you have ever received? Have Belle and Sebastian had any really terrible gigs? Have you been up to much recently? A few years back I got a pretty random present. I got a Not that many have been rubbish. There are a couple. One I was visiting a friend up in last night. So I just did metal detector of all things, I’ve never used it… it’s still in of them was when Isabelle (Campbell) was still in the the drive back down today. its box. It seems a hassle to get it out and use it. I would band. She had been feeling ill and just as the support band need to go to a beach, take a spade to dig up the sand. It’s finished she got worse and was unable to play. So Chris Belle and Sebastian have been a bit quiet since the all too much effort… had to go on in front on the audience who had been waiting summer. What have you been doing? there all night for us and apologise for the band cancelling The band finished touring the album (The Life Pursuit Avoiding metal detectors, what would you like to get this the gig. Then we went to Germany once to a festival and released in February) in September, the tour finished over year for Christmas? it was the most ramshackle festival I have ever seen… it in Japan. It is likely that we won’t be doing anything until I’ve just recently started to get into cooking, so some wasn’t fun at all. January, we are taking a well earned rest. We don’t have any cookery books would be nice. Do I have a speciality? No, no new songs yet. But people in the band are always thinking speciality as yet, but I have been baking a lot of bread. It Do you have any messages for the LeftLion readers? about the next album. There are probably a few demos of is pretty easy to experiment with, baking different types of Yeah, Nottingham is a great place and just always make new songs, but we haven’t talked about recording yet. bread, which is fun. sure to have a good time. I hope that when we come down to DJ at The Social on 15 December, we pick the right tunes You’re coming down to The Social on 15 December to do a Belle and Sebastian played the world renowned and that everyone enjoys it. DJ set. What can we expect? Hollywood Bowl in the summer backed by an orchestra. Me and Chris from the band are coming down, we’ve DJed That must have been a great experience? Belle and Sebastian play at the Social a few times together before and its always fun. When I DJ Oh yes, it was an extraordinary experience. It was the on Friday 15 December 2006. I like to spread genres, mix it up a bit but still get people craziest, most brilliant gig I have ever played. We played it dancing. Chris DJs more than me, I have periods when I DJ in front of 18,000 fans with the LA Philharmonic Orchestra. www.belleandsebastian.com

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 7 ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������� The Smears twelve. It was so huge! Oh and Optimus Prime when I was about What are your plans for the festive eight. season? C Doll: Too many to mention. I’m Emma: Going home to see my family, spoilt! Sidearm opening my Christmas presents too early, drinking and eating too much, So what were the highlights of 2006 for The Smears? What are your plans for the festive season? tormenting my nephews and seeing The usual we guess… Get some sherry and cigars down our the girls. Miss C: Supporting The on the main stage at and necks, eat a bit of turkey, play half a game of monopoly, write Miss C: It’s my birthday on Christmas some new songs and piss off the neighbours. Oh, and a couple Day so I plan to drink myself blind playing Drop in the Ocean. C Doll: We’ve played some wicked of us are off to All Tomorrows Parties. drunk and eat lots of twiglets and pickled onions. Also, as well gigs all over the country and met some really cool people. What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever been as working full time, I study at bought? Nottingham Trent Uni’s business Emma: Writing some amazing tunes, getting our single recorded by Dan Ben: A red Manta Force spaceship school and have my first exam at the Si: Eammon Holmes calendar 2004 beginning of January. Knowles (Amusement Parks on Fire) and getting Rikki Marr to help Neil: A Scalectrix set with the little people cheering. C Doll: Drinking, celebrating Miss Phil: A hobby horse and the pure love of Christ. C’s birthday on Christmas Day and with artwork.

hopefully more drinking. So what were the highlights of 2006 for Sidearm? What can people expect from your Anything else you want to say? set at the NYE Extravaganza? We did a 2 week UK tour in the summer which was amazing fun, What’s the best Christmas present Miss C: Smears fans - send me a we played with Tired Irie which was ace…er, we also got our you’ve ever been bought? Emma: Everything they want and more. birthday greeting at www.myspace. Miss C: I think we should come up home-made video played a few times on Organ TV on Sky and Miss C: My best Christmas present com/miss_caulton and if you see me recorded a new ep (available at Selectadisc!) will be this year I get a new niece or with something special for this one. I out buy me a drink sharpish. reckon lots of sexy female dancers. nephew to play with. What can people expect from your set at the NYE Emma: A massive CD stereo off my C Doll: All our fastest tracks played back-to-back and some kinky outfits. Extravaganza? Mum and Dad when I was about www.myspace.com/smearsuk Joy, sorrow, pain, anguish, lust, anger, screams of ecstasy, weirdness, strobes, visuals, sweat, blood, eyeliner, mascara, DJ Squigley Ohmygosh back to Tokyo again. We’re looking lights, camera action… to release more on the Ohmygosh What are your plans for the festive Records label. Also in the early spring Anything else you want to say…? season? we’re launching an artist management We have a gig at Rock City on 7 December to warm up for Putting my feet up and drinking a company. It’s non-stop really. NYE, and we’d like to say a big thanks to our good friends lot! We’ve got a Festive night Andy (Audio Massage) and Will (I’m Not From London) for all on 29 Dec at the Pelhams with Andre What can people expect from your the quality shows they’ve put on for us and many others. Bonsor from Schmoov! and Ravi from set at the NYE Extravaganza? Percussion. That should be a laugh! 100mph back flipping breaks with www.sidearmtheband.com uppers, downers and round-about-ers! What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever been bought? Anything else you want to say? My two front teeth. I’d like to say thanks to everyone who has supported us and the shop for So what were the highlights of 2006 the past 3 ½ years and all the people for you? who have been to our events. Big up It’s been a good year for us. We toured to Ninety, Rhino, Ital, all the artists Croatia and Japan and moved have performed for us, DSF, The shop to Mansfield Road. We achieved Elementz, Karizma, Cappo, Konny a lot of goals both professionally and Kon, Swampfoot, 45, Cmone, Furious personally. I also got engaged this P, Dirty Joe, Mista Jam, Joe Buhdha, Boogaloo and finally Leftlion for year which was good. The P Brothers, Big Trev and Nottz putting it all out there. Keep up the innanuttin. All the promoters who are hard work! What are your plans for 2007? making things happen in Nottingham, Bassrooster More touring. We’re currently Dealmaker, Camouflage, Spectrum, www.ohmygosh.co.uk planning tours in Brazil, Australia and Detonate, Sureshot, Basement What are your plans for the festive season? To get merrily wasted on Christmas Eve and spend the Nuclear Family Unfortunately for my parents I took majority of Christmas day wishing that I hadn’t. the advert as a kind of guide and What are your plans for the festive insisted on bringing them cold beans What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever been bought? season? at 6am on a Sunday morning. I loved it! A Super Nintendo with Street Fighter 2. Hadoken! Charlotte: Lots of walks, cooking Mike: An AT-AT from Star Wars. and eating with friends and family, Rob: A box of love. That can’t be So what were the highlights of 2006 for you and Majik? and counting my blessings. Oh, and bought. Take that consumerism! With the band, it has to be finishing our tour off at The Electric writing two essays for my Masters Ballroom, which is a blinding venue and being spoilt by Deep degree. Damn! So what were the highlights of 2006 Purple’s light show, which we managed to blag at the last Mike: Just relaxing and writing some for The Nuclear Family? minute. Drop In The Ocean for the fact it’s shown me a great new music, possibly while eating a Rob: For me, progress in reaching for time both years and long may it continue. Also, not waking up Chocolate Orange. my T.O.E (Theory of Everything). For the in as many awkward situations as the year before and having to Nima: To finally catch Santa. band - Charlotte completing the family. explain myself to friends, relatives, the police and parents is nice. Rob: Eating, drinking, partying, Charlotte: Our gigs at Drop in the buying presents, receiving presents Ocean and for LeftLion were super fun. Nima: Twelve songs, each themed What are your plans for 2007? and sharing my love with family Nima: Personal highlights include around a different month from 2006. Majik have a single for release in February, and another tour (Nuclear and otherwise) and friends. defeating Cobra Kai and learning to love. booked around the same time. As for me, I’m planning to jaunt But most of all, being thankful that I Mike: There’ve been too many Anything else you want to say? around on the rail network with nowt but a bass have the freedom and financial ability highlights to list! Nima: Happy Winterval. guitar and my wits (except possibly a change of clothes) and to do so. Charlotte: Peace and goodwill to all. catch up with all the people I have promised to meet up with What can people expect from your Mike: God bless us, every one. and never got round to visiting. What’s the best Christmas present set at the NYE Extravaganza? Rob: Why be surprised when things you’ve ever been bought? Mike: A nice surprise. you expect to happen occur? Reach What can people expect from you at the NYE Extravaganza? Nima: A GoBot. Charlotte: Funky juicy pretty dreamy for your T.O.E! Songs to surprise those who have heard my work with Majik. I Charlotte: Probably an A La crumbly politico-pop confections. Well have some cracking special guests lined up, some of Nottsrock’s Carte Kitchen when I was tiny. not crumbly. That would just be silly, eh? www.myspace.com/nukefam finest. All performed with a big smile and Christmas cheer!

Anything else you want to say…? LeftLion New Years Eve Extravaganza at the Orange Tree. Tickets £10 (advance) Come to The Orange Tree on New Years Eve. Go on. We’ll available from The Orange Tree, Selectadisc or online at www.leftlion.co.uk/tickets. have a party. It’ll be great. Kiss my beak. www.myspace.com/majikrock

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 9

Breakdancing has been an integral part of hiphop culture since the beginning: the name ‘b-boy’ comes from ‘break boys’, the guys who would only dance to the breaks in the records played at block parties in NYC by DJs like Kool Herc and Grand Wizard Theodore. Where do your influences lie? The whole b-boy scene, from old school foundation moves to the whole. Hiphop is what it is; if you don’t respect the As hiphop spread across the five boroughs and inevitably more extreme new school power moves. Popping and locking other elements within hiphop, then you’re not hiphop, the world, the b-boys followed in crews like Rock Steady have also influenced us a lot, as they take time and effort to straight up! and The Dynamic Rockers. It wasn’t until Rock Steady master and obviously the music influences the dance more than performed for Malcom McLaren and Bow Wow Wow at the anything else, with funk breaks and hiphop old and new. What are your feelings on how b-boys are Ritz, that people on the fringes of the underground scene represented? You can turn on the TV and see started to take breakdance seriously. Afrika Bambaataa Where did the name Ground Hogs come from? breaking on a McDonalds advert or whatever… played a big part in bringing breaking to the masses by It really came from the film Groundhog Day, where Bill Murray is As long as you’re true to the b-boy art form and know teaming breakers up with sound systems and DJs and reliving the same day every day and always trying to break the about the culture and don’t sell out by altering taking them on tour with The Soul Sonic Force. By the mid- cycle… the idea seemed to reflect what we’re all about. Also b- your dance form then you can do what you want. eighties breaking and hiphop were literally joined at the boys have a tendency to hog the dance floor so there’s ya double Fakers who’ve learned a backspin, a windmill or a hip. Nowadays crews exist all over the globe from Korea to meaning. somersault to impress the girls on a Saturday night Australia. are not representative of b-boys and should stick to Here in Big Nottz we have our own resident b-boys who Have you been getting any wider recognition outside the what they know. hold the spirit of the culture and bring their own take on breaking scene? something that now has over thirty years of heritage. The We got seen by Dance 4, the East Midlands national dance What’s next on the agenda? Ground Hogs were originally part of a crew called All agency and just finished doing our summer tour with them We all like teaching in schools and choreographing Torque but have formed a more scaled down and refined which was very successful. We gained a huge amount of positive youth performances but it would be nice to dance on outfit looking to do big things in 2007. LeftLion went to feed back from children and parents, so we’re enjoying the a world class stage as well as the usual grass slope ask them what makes the world spin 360 degrees on its performances and teaching at the moment. at a festival or dirty club dance floor. head… How important do you feel breakdancing is to hiphop culture? How did you meet up and form the crew? B-boyin’ is the expressive dance form of hiphop. It’s as www.myspace.com/groundhogs_uk The Ground Hogs consists of Jay, A.I. and Leo. We have important as the rest of the elements that make up hiphop as a danced together for a few years and all been part of different crews at some point but recently we decided to get serious and start our own dance company.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 11 DAVE MANN MUSIC Acoustic music specialists Enhance your sound with our knowledge and experience. CHILLED BEERS, WINES & A WIDE RANGE OF SPIRITS From entry level to high end , ukes, , mandolins, violins and a huge range of accessories. Mobile Top Ups, Sim ~ Easy on the wallet & popular with students Gas & Electric Cards ~ Repair, setup and restoration specialists ~ Well established family run business ~ Run by musicians for musicians 14-18 BROAD STREET Martin Heritage Centre NOTTINGHAM BOX OFFICE 0115 952 6611 123-125 Mansfield Road, Nottingham, 0115 9417955 www.davemann.co.uk [email protected]

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Magic hair products, a talking , a zoo owner who doesn’t know the names of any animals and the eternal battle between and funk. These are just a few of the things that make up the surreal world of The Mighty Boosh - one of the best new comedies I’ve seen on telly in ages! Created by Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, if you haven’t seen it yet take a few sick days off work and get yourself under the duvet with a copy of the DVD set. It’s comedy, but not as we know it, with no satire, no swearing and no formal ‘jokes’ - yet it’s strangely compelling. One half of the duo is in Hood Town for stand- up, doing the Just The Tonic Christmas special at the Theatre Royal in December. We caught up with the man with the mighty hair known as Noel…

What are you up to today? take the piss. You have to be on your guard otherwise you but we do hang around with a lot of musicians. We don’t We’ve got to write the third series of the Mighty Boosh so just get caned. really hang out with other or go and watch I’m supposed to be meeting Julian but actually I’m meeting much stand-up. I’m really into visual things and animation my mate Richard from Garth Marenghi instead. We’re How long have you been working with Julian now and and Julian’s really into jazz. writing together too, so I’m doing an afternoon with him how did you two hook up? and having a day off from the Boosh. Too long… it’s like a marriage! We were doing stand-up What really? So you’re not actually joking around with and were on the same bill together. I was on first and that in the series...? So how did you first get into comedy and who were your usually you can only have about one weird on a Yeah. He’s well into jazz actually. We don’t really write any inspirations? line-up. He’d been doing it a bit longer than me, but I think ‘actual’ jokes, I just make the fixtures and he makes the I quite liked Bill Cosby when I was growing up. I think my I had him worried for a bit and he was quite impressed. It sounds and it seems to work. mum and dad had some of his when he used to do was a bit like Batman and Robin. He said ‘listen kid, you’re stand-up and they’re kind of little stories about him when good but you’re raw. C’mon, let’s see what you’re got. I heard the title of the show comes from a haircut your he was a kid and stuff. Quite gentle but nice and surreal. Let’s write together’. I’ve been stuck with him ever since brother Michael (who plays Naboo) once had… I also really liked Monty Python when it was on telly and and that was about eight years ago or something. So yeah, Yeah, he had a big afro when he was a child. His mate, who anything by and . But I wanted to we’ve grown together. sounded a bit Portugese said to him ‘your hair’s mighty, be a painter and went to art school. I just got sidetracked you’ve got a mighty boosh!’ and I thought it was quite into comedy. It was a mistake… I’m trying to get out but Is it true that series three of the Boosh might just be done funny. When we were looking for a name we didn’t want to I’m trapped! with puppets? be Barratt and Fielding, because that sounds like solicitors (Laughs) Julian’s going to be played to be a puppet. I’m or lawyers or something, so we thought we’d call ourselves Are you one of those comedians who are not funny in going to be real but he’s just going to be a tiny puppet something weird. We’ve been called that for so long now real life? which I just get out of my pocket every now and then and that I honestly don’t really know if it’s a good or a bad No I’m hilarious… but I suppose that’s debatable isn’t it? hit with a hammer and then put back. name, I don’t even think about it anymore. A lot of people I think I’m much more sarcastic in real life, it’s a London can’t say even it, they call us ‘The Mighty Bosh’ or ‘The thing maybe. Down here people are quite yappy and they You like working with musicians on The Mighty Boosh. Mighty Bush’. kind of take the piss out of each other naturally. I think You’ve had and Robots in Disguise on there. there’s a different kind of humour in different parts of the Will there be any more music guests in the next series? So in real life how much are you like the character country and up North it’s a slightly more self-deprecating Maybe… we’re always slightly worried about getting of Vince? thing. In London it’s much more attacking and people really bands in to do music because we like doing that ourselves, I suppose about 60%. I do dress like that and my hair is a

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 13 She’s racked up a huge list of film credits (although she’s not massively arsed about the movie industry these days), she’s dossed about with Quentin Tarantino and The Prodigy, she can call up when she’s a drummer short, and she used to knock about with Brad Pitt. More importantly, she’s one of the few people who have made the transition from screen to CD without making a bit like that. But I’m much more sarcastic and moody. Vince And maybe Gary Numan as well…? write yourself is always interesting. When someone comes complete tit of herself. Her name is a bit like an innocent child, he never gets unhappy and , Gary Numan! I almost forgot Gary for a second… in and does something and you think ‘how the hell did you always wins at everything without even trying. I’m much how could I? He’s really nice and funny as well, he’s great! think of that?’ So just originality really and a bit of charm is Juliette Lewis, former star of more depressive and probably much more difficult to be too. I think there’s not enough charm on the stand-up around. What’s your best anecdote from a Boosh tour? circuit, people are too abrasive and too aggressive. A nice Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear We once couldn’t get to a gig because some oil caught fire smile goes a long way. What’s the last thing that made you laugh a lot? on the motorway when we were driving to Bristol. We had but now plying her trade as a I’m sure there are about ten things that made me laugh Depeche Mode’s tour bus and we were sitting on the roof How did it feel to play the Secret Policeman’s Ball? yesterday! I saw a picture of Borat on a billboard in some drinking beer. It was freezing and everything ground to a It was really good fun! We were on tour doing quite a lot of frighteningly authentic balls-out weird swimming trunks and that made me laugh. I’ve been halt. We were going to miss our gig and it would have cost gigs anyway and were well practiced with the live stuff. I watching some old episodes of Star Trek and there’s some loads of money if we’d have had to cancel it because we’d really like those big gigs. We thought, what shall we do at Rockstress. We struggled to hide acting in that that is absolutely hilarious; it’s just so wrong sold all the tickets. So their people were going ‘you can’t the Albert Hall? Let’s do a swordfight and have some rabbits in every way. Oh, Julia Davies from Nighty Night in Fanny miss the gig’. We were trying to work out how we could run around and bum us. We wanted to do something they our jealousy when we caught up Craddock - that really made me laugh. get there by maybe walking across some fields and getting definitely wouldn’t see for the rest of the night. a cab from the next village. In the end all these police It was fun to meet Chevy Chase and we shared a dressing with her on a rare day off during What was the last thing that made you cry? cars surrounded our tour bus and drove us the wrong way room with Richard E Grant. Hmmm… what else happened? a European tour that took in the Hmmm… probably music. When you’re a bit hungover and down a busy motorway. It was really exciting, everyone in Jeremy Irons was wandering around and Eddie Izzard and you listen to music, often that’s the thing that really gets their cars must have been going ‘who is that?’ like it was Jimmy Fallon, this guy from Saturday Night Live in America, Rescue Rooms… you. I’ve been listening to a lot of country singers, Townes Madonna or someone. That was probably the most exciting was there. There was a woman on called Sarah Silverman, an Van Zandt has got a really sad voice and Gram Parsons’ thing to happen, but there are many things I couldn’t tell American comedian who I thought was the best on the night. words: Al Needham singing always makes me cry. you about… or at least that you couldn’t print. Who cuts your hair, do you style it yourself, what How’s the tour been? Really? Are you a fan of Ed Byrne, Daniel Kitson and David Was there a big jump between your original vision for the products do you use? It’s been monumental and amazing, we’ve had a million sold- Yeah! I’ve done movies for fifteen years, but it’s not my O’Doherty who you share the Just The Tonic Christmas TV series and the final product? A bit of wax, bit of gel, bit of mousse. I do style it myself. out shows, wild, crazy crowds…it’s been incredible so far. passion. I’m working my ass off with this band and I’m Bill with? Hmm… kind of. We’re still working at it. You get closer, It’s cut by a goth lady who works in Islington, in Angel, but trying to get to the next record. Music has been my priority Yeah! I really love David O’Doherty, I’ve known him for but you never get it exactly right. I think the second series I can’t say where as I don’t want her getting bombarded Do you remember anything about your gig at the Rescue over the past three years. We wouldn’t be in the position ages. He’s a mate and I think what he does is well funny. is more like what we had in our heads, particularly the or I won’t be able to get an appointment myself anymore! Rooms? that we’re in now if it wasn’t. Last time I saw Kitson he was really really good. I think we way it looked and the pace of it. The third one should be She’s like a hidden secret and she’s brilliant. She’s been Nottingham right? Nottingham’s always a bit wild. There’s both got nominated for a Perrier the same year, so there even better again, but I don’t know if you can ever quite cutting it for ages, so she knows what I like. We’ve got a a girl there who’s really nice who always brings me Out of all the films you’ve done, which one would you was always this supposed rivalry between us with people get onto the telly exactly what you’ve got in your head or sort of joint philosophy now, I don’t even have to speak. I drawings. No fights broke out, which was good. Sometimes like to erase from your memory? going ‘ooh you must hate each other’, because he won the on paper. If you achieve that, then you probably have to hope she doesn’t move. She was thinking of emigrating to fights break out at our gigs and cops get called…this is one I’m not telling. It’d be a film you’ve never seen, in any case. Perrier and I didn’t. But we weren’t really like that at all. I just lie down and never do anything ever again in your life Morocco at one point. Then I would have had to go there to of the dangers of rock n’ roll music, I guess. hung out with him a bit in Ireland at the Kilkenny Festival because you’ve got nowhere left to go. It’s always good to get my hair cut. What’s the harder job out of music and acting? and really like him. So it should be a good night I think. have somewhere to move on to and always be going ‘oh I Starting a band after being a successful movie actress I couldn’t tell you… it’s a funny question. There’s a lot wish we’d done this better’ or ‘I wish that bit worked’. But Where can we get a Bollo suit from? - has it been a help or hindrance in your new career? of creative freedom in music. I would write a song on Have you been to Nottingham much before? sometimes you also get new stuff out of it, which wasn’t They’re quite hard to get actually, we had to make ours. It is what it is. I look at things as an opportunity, and we’ve Wednesday, play it at a gig on Friday and record it in a We did the Boosh there when we did the tour, but I haven’t how you’d imagined it, but comes out better! Some guy who worked on Planet of the Apes did it. He’s had some amazing opportunities. We’ve got an audience friend’s basement the next week – that’s freedom. You don’t been to Just the Tonic for years. I did it when I first started a sculptor and he does gorilla heads and all kinds of which I’ve earned from the films I’ve made from the last have that in films, you’re reliant on money and a huge crew doing stand up. I had flu and had a really crap gig, so it’s a Tell us a bit about the new series. What have we got to monkeys. He’s like a monkey specialist and looks a bit like fifteen years and the funny thing is the people who like of people. In all forms of art, you have to have a will of steel, miracle that Darrell (Martin - club owner) was ever going to look forward to? one too. Maybe he was a monkey? He could have been, just my films seem to like the type of music we play anyway love it and be hungry as hell. You’re only gonna be let down book me again. Its going to be set in a nefarious second hand magic shop disguised in jeans. I didn’t check… – guitar-driven good-time rock n’ roll. But we get judged ten if you think everything’s going to come easy. where Naboo deals black magic under the counter. I sell But yeah, they’re really hard to get right. If you go to a fancy times harder than any other new band because of my past, What are the chances of there being a second series of fashion clothes and Julian sells jazz records. It’s sort of like dress shop they just look awful! We were originally going so we have to be ten times better. What was it like working with The Prodigy on Always ? a second hand shop where people come in and get involved to build up prosthetics on Dave’s head (the guy who plays Outnumbered, Never Outgunned? Mmmm…..I dunno actually. I have no idea. You’d have to in black magic. So its gonna be set in there and also a club Bollo), so he had to shave his eyebrows off. Then we tried it Do people in the business assume you’re only getting That was so much fun, because I love that kind of music. ask Chris Morris. Whenever I’ve asked him he’s not sure. that our band play at. It’ll be a bit more in one place, rather and it didn’t look that good, so we ended up using a mask. noticed because of who you are and what you’ve done? You’re not held down by normal song structure. Liam had He’s always got lots of stuff on and keeps busy. It’s not out than going on another six adventures. We might go on some But he’d already shaved them by that point, so he wasn’t I hope not, because the notices are all good. For me, it some amazing tracks, I would spout out lyrics and melody of the question but I really don’t know whether he wants adventures as well, but I think we’ll keep a few of them in very happy with us. was always about the gigs first and getting a reputation lines and he’d chop ‘em up. He’s just really incredibly to do that. I’d be well up for it though, you’ve always got to and around the shop with some regular characters in it. Bob as a live act, then developing the songs second. Our talented and a joy to work with. keep the hope and faith. Fossil will be in it again and Bollo will be too. There’ll be a songwriting’s getting better and we’re growing as a band. bit more animation, a bit more music maybe and hopefully I always tell people to see The Licks before you pass What’s Quentin Tarantino like in real life? Who’s your favourite person you’ve met since you’ve the writing will be good too. We’re getting better… judgement, because seeing is believing. Exactly as you’d imagine him to be. Very expressive and been on the telly? Noel Fielding plays alongside Ed Byrne, Daniel Kitson funny, he can hold a conversation about anything. Well, Chris Morris is pretty nice actually. He’s one of those What are your tips for new comedians? and David O’Doherty at Just The Tonic Christmas Special So what happens when you have to put the band on hold people that I didn’t think I’d ever meet and yet he’s kind For me, it’s always originality really. I just like people that Extreme at the Theatre Royal on Friday 22 December 2006. when you get a film offer? of a mate now, which is quite insane. He’s really fun and are different. When you see something different it’s always You can win a pair of tickets on www.leftlion.co.uk/forum. It doesn’t work like that. My priority is the record, and when quite an interesting character. Who else have I met who really exciting. I just think you can be really good but if you release a record you have to promote it for a year. In ’ new CD is interesting? I met Courtney Love, she was crazy… but you’re doing the same as everyone else it’s a bit boring. any case, movies are such a small commitment. You’re only Four On The Floor is out now Morris is the most interesting. I always look for stuff that’s weird and different, so if www.themightyboosh.com there for anything from two weeks to a month and a half. someone does odd stuff I’m happy. Material you couldn’t www.justthetonic.com I’ve already turned down film work while I’ve been on tour. www.julietteandthelicks.com

14 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 She’s racked up a huge list of film credits (although she’s not massively arsed about the movie industry these days), she’s dossed about with Quentin Tarantino and The Prodigy, she can call up Dave Grohl when she’s a drummer short, and she used to knock about with Brad Pitt. More importantly, she’s one of the few people who have made the transition from screen to CD without making a complete tit of herself. Her name is Juliette Lewis, former star of Natural Born Killers and Cape Fear, now plying her trade as a frighteningly authentic balls-out Rockstress. We struggled to hide our jealousy when we caught up with her on a rare day off during a European tour that took in the Rescue Rooms… words: Al Needham

How’s the tour been? Really? It’s been monumental and amazing, we’ve had a million sold- Yeah! I’ve done movies for fifteen years, but it’s not my Four great Juliette Lewis Movies out shows, wild, crazy crowds…it’s been incredible so far. passion. I’m working my ass off with this band and I’m trying to get to the next record. Music has been my priority Do you remember anything about your gig at the over the past three years. We wouldn’t be in the position Rescue Rooms? that we’re in now if it wasn’t. Nottingham right? Nottingham’s always a bit wild. There’s a girl there who’s really nice who always brings me Out of all the films you’ve done, which one would you drawings. No fights broke out, which was good. Sometimes like to erase from your memory? fights break out at our gigs and cops get called…this is one I’m not telling. It’d be a film you’ve never seen, in any case. of the dangers of rock n’ roll music, I guess. What’s the harder job out of music and acting? Starting a band after being a successful movie actress I couldn’t tell you… it’s a funny question. There’s a lot Kalifornia (1993) - has it been a help or hindrance in your new career? of creative freedom in music. I would write a song on Juliette plays the white trash girlfriend of a killer for the It is what it is. I look at things as an opportunity, and we’ve Wednesday, play it at a gig on Friday and record it in a first time, as she’s cast as Adele alongside the dark and had some amazing opportunities. We’ve got an audience friend’s basement the next week – that’s freedom. You don’t devious Early Grayce (Brad Pitt). They join researcher which I’ve earned from the films I’ve made from the last have that in films, you’re reliant on money and a huge crew Brian (David Duchovny) and Carrie (Michelle Forbes) for a fifteen years and the funny thing is the people who like of people. In all forms of art, you have to have a will of steel, frightening road trip across America. my films seem to like the type of music we play anyway love it and be hungry as hell. You’re only gonna be let down – guitar-driven good-time rock n’ roll. But we get judged ten if you think everything’s going to come easy. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) times harder than any other new band because of my past, Gilbert Grape (Johnny Depp) lives in Endora, a place so we have to be ten times better. What was it like working with The Prodigy on Always where nothing much happens except his brother Arnie Outnumbered, Never Outgunned? (Leonardo Di Caprio) causing trouble. Then one day Becky Do people in the business assume you’re only getting That was so much fun, because I love that kind of music. (Lewis) and her grandmother pass through Endora and noticed because of who you are and what you’ve done? You’re not held down by normal song structure. Liam had Gilbert falls in love. I hope not, because the notices are all good. For me, it some amazing tracks, I would spout out lyrics and melody was always about the gigs first and getting a reputation lines and he’d chop ‘em up. He’s just really incredibly Natural Born Killers (1994) as a live act, then developing the songs second. Our talented and a joy to work with. Lewis plays the white trash girlfriend of a killer for a songwriting’s getting better and we’re growing as a band. second time as the sick yet sexy Mallory Knox, alongside I always tell people to see The Licks before you pass What’s Quentin Tarantino like in real life? Woody Harrelson’s equally twisted Mickey. Two victims judgement, because seeing is believing. Exactly as you’d imagine him to be. Very expressive and of traumatised childhoods become lovers and then funny, he can hold a conversation about anything. psychopathic serial murderers who are irresponsibly So what happens when you have to put the band on hold glorified by the mass media. when you get a film offer? It doesn’t work like that. My priority is the record, and when From Dusk Til Dawn (1996) you release a record you have to promote it for a year. In Juliette and The Licks’ new CD Quentin Tarantino wrote and starred in this Robert any case, movies are such a small commitment. You’re only Four On The Floor is out now Rodriguez directed action horror flick. Juliette played Kate there for anything from two weeks to a month and a half. Fuller, the saucy daughter of backslidden preacher Jacob I’ve already turned down film work while I’ve been on tour. www.julietteandthelicks.com Fuller (Harvey Keitel).

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 15 When They Were Peasants

My Father and Other Working-Class Football Heroes is not only a former William Hill Sports Book of the Year - it’s probably the best book that’s been written about football in quite a while. By a Nottingham-born writer too! words: James K.Walker

On the surface, My Father... is the biography of Stewart Did you receive any help from your family in the research? genuine feeling by people who saw him play and admired Imlach, the fifties Forest winger who was not only Man Yes, mainly from my mum. Having failed to sit down and him, as opposed to an item squeezed out of an unwilling of the Match in the 1959 FA Cup Final, but the first really talk with my father before it was too late, writing the bureaucracy on a technicality. But I don’t think in terms of representative of either Nottingham club in the World Cup. book gave me the perfect excuse to do exactly that with my favourites. I’m just glad that the second one exists. More importantly, it’s a historical and cultural analysis of mother, and I’m very glad that it did. how football has shifted dramatically from working-class You have very strong opinions on the current state of pursuit to middle-class leisure option. When Imlach the Did writing the book help to re-ignite a passion for football? football. Do you believe it’s in danger of imploding? elder was at his peak, First Division footballers barely No, the opposite. Writing the book helped crystallise for I don’t see it imploding, but I wouldn’t shed any tears if it did. earned as much as the factory workers on the terraces, and me the reasons I’d drifted away. I was still shouting at the the idea of a player being set up for life simply didn’t exist. television during the World Cup, mind, but I didn’t pay Would a potential wage cap save it? enough attention to fancy myself as a tipster. I think a wage cap will prove extremely difficult to frame As a child born in West Bridgford (as part of Nottingham’s and enforce, so I see the financial disparities stretching post-Cup Final baby boom), Imlach’s book is a tale of Can we expect any extra chapters in future editions? ever wider. getting to know what made his frequently-absent father Well, there were any number of dead ends in my research, tick, long after the chance to sit down and talk had slipped usually because none of the key characters in a given As part of your research, you returned to Nottingham… by. As a postscript, the book even managed to get the episode were still alive to tell their version of the tale. I went there on a trip into the past, so the actual author’s father a posthumous cap for his appearance in the But I’m grateful for what I have discovered, and anyway Nottingham and the one I visited are different places. 1958 World Cup (which was denied to him in life due to you have to draw the line somewhere, for your own Because I haven’t diluted my childhood memories with ridiculous bureaucracy), adding another dimension to this psychological health if nothing else. repeated return visits, I found it full of strong and sudden fascinating story. associations with the past. For that reason, what I Although your father finally received a posthumous cap, particularly liked were the streets around my old house on What makes My Father…particularly unique is that it is are you still bitter about his treatment by the Scottish FA? Albert Road in West Bridgford and the park opposite. a football book written with absolute detachment for the I was bitter about it and I suppose I still am… given that sport, devoid of the fake ‘passion’ that characterises the what’s been achieved since his death could have been Topping an award winning book is going to be a hard average footy biog. Quite an achievement when you realise achieved before it. Funnily enough, receiving the cap task. Any plans? it is written by a seasoned TV sports professional best wasn’t the big thing, it was the telephone call from the It’s a question my agent and publisher are taking it in turns known for his coverage of the Tour de France and the NFL. Chief Executive of the SFA to say that the decision had to put to me. I’ll take suggestions. Not only is it a lament for a father he left it too late to know been taken that brought some feeling of satisfaction. properly, it’s an elegy for a sport that has become bloated My Father and Other Working-Class Football Heroes is and commercialised out of all recognition. Suffice to say, Which is your favourite cap: the one made by Brian available in paperback from Yellow Jacket Press, RRP £7.99 it’s a little bit better than Wayne Rooney’s ghost-written Turner of Majestic Trophies of Nottingham before your autobiography… father’s death, or the official one? www.randomhouse.com Maybe Brian’s cap had more value; a cap crafted out of www.jameskwalker.co.uk

16 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 There’s Only One Jason Lee…

Jason Lee is one of a rare breed of footballers loved by both sides of Nottingham football. He spent three years with Forest in the mid- nineties, making an impressive 76 appearances and becoming nationally renowned (mainly for the abuse he received from Baddiel and Skinner on their Fantasy Football League TV show). Then, this summer, the now 36 year old striker signed for Notts County. At the time there were a few groans from Magpies fans, but all have been silenced since he started banging in the goals. words and photo: Jared Wilson

Where do you think County will finish season he came to Forest. He was different this season? gravy. What can I say? He’d just come from I’m hopeful we’ll finish in the top six or the World Cup and he was on fire! maybe go a step higher and make the top three. What was it like playing with Stan Collymore? You were appointed club captain straight Me and Stan got on well. We were the after you signed. What does that involve? same age and sat next to each other in the I think I’ve been bestowed that honour changing rooms. He did some really good because I’m the most senior player at things when he was playing for Forest the club. The commercial managers run and got England caps. I thought he was a sponsorship opportunities like meals, brilliant striker to be honest! restaurants, suits and kit past me. It’s been my job to tap into that and get the players What kind of music do you like? involved. I’m really proud to do it! I’m pretty varied really. I’ve got kids and so they keep me in touch with pop, but I’m You almost signed for the Magpies last really more into RnB and my first love is rap season, but it didn’t quite happen. What music. was it that swayed you this summer? When I came over in January I was hopeful Do you ever listen to any Notts hiphop? of signing. I’d made my mind up that I I do like my urban music, but I’m not was going to leave Boston. Northampton familiar with the Nottingham guys to be were also interested and doing really well, honest. I really like Kano. For me he’s the but my first choice was Notts. I spoke top man. to the club, but there were all sorts of problems. For one reason or another it never What do you have as your pre-match happened. Sometimes you just can’t force meal? things. If it’s a Saturday I’ll have cereal. If it’s an But one door closed and another opened. evening game I might well go for a little bit I ended up going to Northampton and got of pasta, beans, toast and chicken. promotion there. Then Steve Thompson took over at Notts in the summer and I was the What do you count as your biggest first person he called. I’ve always said I’d achievement in football? prepared to move, but for one reason or bad effect on your career… play for him again, given the opportunity, so Still playing today. To stay in the game is another, I didn’t think it would be a great It didn’t kill my career, but it did have a it wasn’t a hard choice. not easy and nowadays younger players step to take to move when I could just negative effect. I understand the way the find it difficult to have a long term career commute. Nottingham’s pretty central and media works and if I wasn’t doing well If you could put any player, past or present, in the game. I’ve been in for seventeen or I wasn’t sure how long I was going to stay before Baddiel and Skinner there was in the current team, who would you pick? eighteen years now. in London. I wanted a base and we decided no way I would have been highlighted John Barnes. I’ve always looked up to him on Nottingham, especially with the kids anywhere. I was playing quite well in the for his skill and as an ambassador for black What would you say was your lowest going to school here and everything. Premiership when it started, I’d scored six footballers. I’ve been fortunate enough to moment? in six games. But I was always going to meet him a number of times. If we could Being injured. I was at Peterborough So you’ve lived in the city all that time? be recognised for my distinctive hairstyle put him on the left wing it’d be brilliant, I’m for a year and I did my patella tendon. I Ever since I signed for Forest. I’ve been here and they ran with it every week. Then it sure I’d get loads of goals. wondered if I’d play again, as you do when for twelve years and just commuted to the coincided with some bad form. The most you have long term injuries. But I looked at clubs I’ve played for since. difficult part of that was my family and Are you proud that Notts were the first Ronaldo’s rehab with the same injury and friends would try to jump to my defence, football league club to get ‘Kick Racism he did it twice. So that helped inspire me. What do you think to the city? Is the bad getting upset and angry. Having said this, I out of Football’ status? reputation for crime deserved? watched every programme on Friday nights I take my hat off to them! I know clubs are Who’s the best manager you’ve ever Well I come from London so I don’t really with my team mates. But I’d like to think trying to do stuff with politics and it’s quite played for? get it twisted. I’ve left London behind and I’ve still managed to do some other stuff a big thing to overcome. It’s not as bad I’d better say my present one or I’ll be in I know that is a bad place. I see the way with my career which will be remembered. as it was years ago, but there’ll always trouble. But I’ve played for Thommo twice Notts gets portrayed as the gun capital, but I’ve got four promotions, played more than be someone who says something stupid. and wouldn’t have signed again if I didn’t I’ve got family who live in London and that 500 games and scored more than 100 goals. But I don’t think it’s that bad nowadays have the utmost respect for him. I’ve played certainly ain’t a picnic either! and clubs are doing the best they can to for Barry Fry twice as well and he’s a Have you ever met either Baddiel or eradicate it. complete lunatic, but infectious and was I’ve read elsewhere you don’t like being Skinner in real life? always good to me. Graham Taylor was asked about this, but I wanted to ask No, but obviously I know which teams Who is the toughest defender you have something else, very professional and never about the Baddiel and Skinner ‘Pineapple’ they support. I was invited on their show a ever played against? left a stone unturned. I worked with Peter thing. number of times but declined. At the time Gary Pallister when he was at Man United. Taylor a couple of times too - his coaching It’s not that I don’t like being asked about when I was getting most hammered I went He was a big guy, he was quick and if he sessions are excellent! it, but if you can imagine how many times I to Chelsea with Forest and scored. As you wasn’t injured as much I’m sure he’d have have been asked! But I’m never going to get can imagine that was brilliant because I played more times for England. I read that Graham Taylor sold you to away from it, so fire away… know Baddiel was in the stand. As a player Chesterfield because you wouldn’t uproot you can always have the last laugh... Who’s the best strike partner you’ve ever your family from Notts. I was just going to ask what your played with? I had a three year contract at Watford and thoughts on it are now. I’ve read in Brian Roy was pretty amazing in the first I left after a year. It wasn’t that I wasn’t previous interviews you thought it had a www.nottscountyfc.co.uk

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 17 Striking Back

A band described as ‘Music made by the people for the people’ Kasabian have bombarded electronic with their reputable swagger and rough vocals. The last year has been a busy one for the boys with the release of new album Empire and the loss of major songwriter Chris Karloff. But despite it all they continue to top album charts and stomp on in footprints left by their predecessors Primal Scream and Oasis. We met up with bassist Chris Edwards to see how it’s all been hanging. words: Michelle Bayton

So where did the band name come from? I thought the film was really good and definitely much What’s your favourite of your own tracks? It came from reading a book on the Charles Manson better than what we thought it might be like. To be honest Doberman. Just because it’s a great tune and was recorded murders. The woman who got away from him was called I thought it was going to be quite poor, like Dream Team or and finished in about two hours and after eight cans of Lynda Kasabian and we thought it was a cool name to use other crap footy films like that. But we were surprised, it Stella. It’s raw and became a sketch which turned into a especially seeing as she was the escapee! was actually quite dark. masterpiece.

Is that an appropriate metaphor for the band then… How did it come about that your track was used? What’s your favourite track of all time? the sense of escapism? The same process as usual. Your desert island single if you like? (Laughs) yeah I suppose you could say that. Blackbird by . No-one writes stuff like that any Fill us in then… more. It’s so chilled. Where did Kasabian start out in music? Our production team sold it out to them after checking with It was around the era when Oasis and Blur were us that it was okay to be used. We’re usually cool about Who do you think are the best upcoming artists we at a head. We all picked up guitars and started jamming them selling out our stuff as long as it’s not for a Tampax or should check out? together. We loved Oasis and their sound and that’s how it Tena Lady advert or something like that. We have to keep The Fratellis. We’ve always bigged them up and we’re all started. our cool! taking them on this tour with us and so now they’ve made it big themselves its really cool. Also Gogol Bordello who A couple of you collaborated with DJ Shadow on The Another article in this issue of LeftLion involves Noel are a crazy Bavarian band we saw in Turkey. One of their Outsider. What was it was like working with him? Fielding. I believe he’s a big fan of yours and a bit of a tracks Stop Wearing Purple is one of the craziest tracks It wasn’t me who worked with Shadow, but the thing is drinking buddy? you’ll ever hear. I’m hoping they’ll make in onto the scene that with him its equal admiration. He likes what we do Maybe with the other lads but I don’t really know him. We here because they’re just floating around Europe at the and we like him. We all love the way he treats music and meet loads of people and I’m crap with names. moment. vice versa, so he wanted us involved. He’s from the TV show The Mighty Boosh. What was the last album you bought? So you’d say he was a source of inspiration? Does that ring any bells? It was a best of Ray Charles compilation and I bought it Yeah definitely Ah yeah, I do know him, but it is the other lads who drink after seeing Ray the film. He’s a legend. I’m big on that with him. Johnny Cash film Walk The Line as well. We do a cover Do you know much about the new San Francisco scene version of a Jefferson Airplane song in a Johnny Cash style. he’s part of? What do you think of the show? It’s bizarre but it works! No not really. To be honest we don’t really know much I like it. It’s built in a bit of a zone and it’s twisted and about anything musical at the moment as we’re all too busy that’s what I like. It’s quite similar to The League of What was the last thing that made you laugh? with our own stuff. Gentlemen in that way which is equally brilliant. I’m a big Our singer Tom talking to himself in a hotel. It’s one of fan of twisted comedy. those ‘you had to be there’ things! Are you busier due to the loss of Chris from the band? Yes and no. It was just a difference in musical opinion You’re playing at Nottingham Ice Arena on 15 December. What was the last thing that made you cry? that’s all. Do you prefer the larger venues? I watched back the electric proms gig that we did a while I like both for different reasons. Smaller venues are always ago and I didn’t cry but I felt really emotional. I was just No bitterness then? more intimate and personal but you get a much bigger buzz dead proud I suppose. No. in the larger arenas. I’m looking forward to it. So what’s coming up for you over the next year? Right then... I’ll move on. Is there anyone else you’d be What do you think of Nottingham then, being Leicester Obviously the gig in December at the Ice Arena and then keen to collaborate with? boys at heart? just the same sort of things with promotion and live gigs If I had to say anyone it would definitely be Mick Moloney, Yeah I like Notts, although we never really came over and of course working on new ideas and music. but like I said earlier, we don’t have time to listen to much here that much. As soon as we were at the going out age new stuff, so it’d always have to be a legend. the band had started to make it big so all our time was Anything else you want to say to Leftlion readers? consumed with promoting and now we only really get here See you in December! Club Foot was used heavily in the football film Goal. when we gig. It’s all cool though. What did you think of the film? www.kasabian.co.uk

18 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 1. YOUR SHIT OFFICE PARTY THAT ALREADY a roof. Do cities in Germany have Nottingham Markets, 10. THE LAST FRIDAY IN TOWN BEFORE THE HAPPENED IN NOVEMBER with stalls selling unofficial Crazy Frog T-shirts, knickers STUDENTS GO HOME Ah, Christmas dos. The need to pretend that we’re well stretched over metal hoops and funf lighteren fur ein euro? Carnage! liked, the chance to ride the office bike - there’s no finer No, they don’t. indication of the status of your company than the office 11. THE FRIDAY AFTER THAT WHEN EVERYONE ELSE party. If you’re rolling about pissed out of your eyeballs in 5. SHOPPING CENTRES PUTTING UP DECORATIONS IN KNOCKS OFF WORK World Service or Harts the day before you break up, well NOVEMBER Even worse! done. Your future is secured and you’ll probably be doing Bastards. the same thing next year. If you’ve spent your Christmas 12. THOSE LITTLE ROBOTIC FUCKERS IN VICCY piss-up upstairs at the Peacock long before the first horrible 6. MEATHEADS AND SLAPPERS IN TOWN WEARING CENTRE lights went up, rest assured that your company is firmly up SANTA HATS Don’t they get on your tits? I swear I’m gonna jump over Arsehole Street and there’ll be no bog roll in the office lavs It makes that random, unprovoked kicking so much more the barrier and twat one of ‘em on the snot-box this year. by January. jovial, doesn’t it? A shame the staff at A&E don’t wear the Waving at me like he fucking knows meh. full gear, put you on their knee, and say “Ho ho ho! I know a 2. THAT BLOKE ACROSS THE ROAD WHO PUT THE little boy who wants a splint and some painkillers!” 13. THE INFLATABLE SNOWMAN ON THE PUB ROOF ENORMOUS SANTA LIGHTS ON HIS HOUSE AS SOON THAT HAS ALREADY DEFLATED AS GOOSE FAIR FINISHED 7. THE ONE TIME OF THE YEAR WHERE YOU HAVE TO It looks like some youth has thrown the world’s biggest He’s not the only one on the estate going through the GO TO FUCKING ARGOS spent Johnny up there. same old depressing, turd-polishing motions - but Christ It’s like signing on, but coming away with a Darth Vader on a crisp packet! It’s so gargantuan that Rudolf’s head helmet instead of a Giro. 14. IN FACT, ANY PUB THAT DOES DECORATIONS fills up his bedroom window and he keeps it on all night. APART FROM THE OLD GENERAL IN HYSON GREEN I dunno about you, but if I was his missus and all I could 8. THE COUNCIL HOUSE LOOKING LIKE IT WAS For eleven months of the year, they have a dummy of an see at night was a massive neon reindeer head staring at BOUGHT OFF QVC WHEN SOMEONE WAS REALLY old bloke in military uniform in the upstairs window. In me through the curtains, I wouldn’t be massively up for a PISSED, FOR A LAUGH December, they chuck a Santa outfit over it. Simple. Subtle. seeing-to. Ugh. Timeless.

3. THAT HORRIBLE ADVERT WITH BESTIAL 9. CLAIRE SWEENEY IN THE LOCAL PANTO EVERY 15. CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS BOUGHT FROM POUND NECROPHILIAC FISTING BASTARD YEAR SHOPS ‘Tis the season to be gorgeous?’ In a pig’s arse, it is. What’s She is, isn’t she? Has she got Poloroids of the management Hey, I’ll have nowt said against pound shops, but a bloke sexy about Xmas? Nothing! Especially some tart ramming of the Theatre Royal going dogging or summat? Who is on our estate has got these Santa poster-things that say her hand up a turkey’s ringpiece and gurning. she, anyway? Ah well, at least there’s some semblance of ‘Ho Ho Ho’ in his window. Problem is that from the outside properness this year with Basil Brush, Christopher Biggins it reads ‘Oh Oh Oh’ - which makes it sound like he’s having 4. THE GERMAN MARKET and no Hollyoaks rammell. phone sex. Controversial choice I know, but c’mon; it’s just Lidl without

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 19 16. CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS, FULL STOP. 24. YOUR MAM HAVING HER ANNUAL NERVOUS for a couple of hours trying to squeeze a conversation out of 39. BOXING DAY I once had the only Christmas decco worth a toss - a BREAKDOWN your miserable, face-like-a-smacked-arse Dad. The only bit of Ooh, let’s go shopping again, seeing as its been two whole massive cardboard box made to look like a prezzie, full Obviously, Mams are skill. But why are they the only ones entertainment on offer? Counting the new and manky market fucking days since we’ve dragged our arses through Viccy of little polystyrene balls and a vacuum attachment. You who give a fuck about Christmas when everyone else can’t jumpers at the bar. Oh, and… centre. put your tree in it, clipped a little pipe to the spine, and be arsed with it? Why do they feel the need to peg it down turned it on. Result – a never-ending cascade of snow. All to Tescos at five in the morning to buy more food that’ll be 32. SEEING PEOPLE FROM SCHOOL ONCE A YEAR AND 40. ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL TO DO FOR A WEEK APART the others aren’t worth the steam off my, yours or anyone chucked away? HAVING TO LIE ABOUT HOW ACE YOUR LIFE IS FROM MORE SHOPPING else’s piss. We’ve all done it, haven’t we? And eating. And drinking. 25. TAXI DRIVERS TAKING THE PISS 17. HAVING TO BUY CHRISTMAS CARDS WHEN Rip-off merchants at the best of times – utterly larcenous 33. YOUR DAD IN A PAPER HAT, PISSED OUT OF HIS SKULL, 41. THE BITTERSWEET MOMENT WHEN YOU ACTUALLY PEOPLE WHO YOU DON’T GIVE A TOSS ABOUT at Christmas. They might as well just take your wallet, BANGING ON ABOUT JESUS WHILST DUMPING HALF A REALISE YOU’RE DESPERATE TO GO BACK TO WORK SEND YOU ONE shove their cocks through the fold, and have sex with it. POT OF PEPPER ON HIS TURKEY Even if you happen to work at a maggot factory or are a Look, this is why email was invented. Stop it. Now. Their rampant greed inevitably leads to… An annual ritual at our house during Christmas dinner, usually prostitute on Forest Road. just after the end of the prawn cocktail and just before the first 18. THE FACT THAT YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BRING 26. TOWN BEING ABSOLUTELY DESERTED ON wine glass gets broken. As he eloquently puts it, “Everyone’s 42. THE EXTRA STONE YOU PUT ON OVER CHRISTMAS YOUR GAMES IN ON THE LAST DAY OF WORK CHRISTMAS EVE forgotten about the cunt!” The way he goes on, he makes Nuff said. Not fair. Once upon a time, this was the best night of the year for it sound like the Son of God is on his own in a bungalow in getting mashed in town. No hassle, everyone in a good Arnold, thinking to himself “Fucking hell, I’m 2,006 years old 43. NEW YEARS EVE BEING ONLY SIX DAYS AWAY 19. PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING ON HOLIDAY FOR mood, no trouble whatsoever. Nowadays, everyone’s been today…and what have I done with me life?” FROM CHRISTMAS Christmas BRAGGING ON ABOUT HOW THEY’RE on a works do, a departmental do and a go-out-with-your- Don’t get me wrong, New Years Eve is skill! In fact, it’s the GOING ON HOLIDAY FOR CHRISTMAS mates-who-are-back-in-town do. your drinks cabinet is 34. HOLIDAY ADVERTS KICKING IN THE MINUTE YOU’VE all-denomination winter solstice piss-up that is everything Stop banging on about it, you sensible, rational, cleverer- groaning and the last bus home is at 10pm. Consequently, HAD YOUR Christmas DINNER Christmas should be. But why does it have to be so close to the than-me bastards. you can walk from one end of town to the other on Fuck. Off. rubbish one? Let’s move it to the middle of January, or replace Christmas Eve and you’ll see 100 people and a mile-long Valentines Day with it, when we’ve all got a bit more cash and 20. CHATTY YOUTHS GOING CAROL SINGING NOT queue of fucked-off cabbies. 35. THE QUEEN’S SPEECH could do with a doss off work. FIVE MINUTES AFTER HALLOWEEN If you’ve still got your grandparents, it’s a traditional part of the All they know is We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Come 27. A GREY CHRISTMAS day. If you haven’t, it’s some right old trout banging on about 44. NOT BEING ABLE TO WATCH A BELL-END FALL OUT OF back when it is Christmas, you knob-ended teeth-sucking I miss proper snow. Even the Meadows looked nice in the arse all. What’s on next? Oh, for fuck’s sake… THE CHRISTMAS TREE IN TOWN AND GET ARRESTED THIS vermin. snow. YEAR 36. THE BOND FILM Thanks to Slab Square still looking like a World War One trench. 21. SOME TWAT OFF THE X FACTOR INEVITABLY 28. YOUR MAM AND DAD GIVING YOU THE SAME Alright, so maybe it’s enjoying a brief revival due to them Also see; BEING THE CHRISTMAS NO.1 PRESENTS THEY DID LAST YEAR having a new blonde one. But let’s be honest; ever since we The battle for Christmas No.1 used to be mint. Now It’s not like I’d expect ‘em to know I really wanted the new realised that all British spies really do is lose laptops on trains 45. NOT BEING ABLE TO SNOG A SHARON UP it’s decided by a glorified karaoke competition, where Zelda on the Game Cube or a new portable hard drive, but and make up excuses for America to bomb Muslims, the magic AGAINST A LION some mewling whelp who Nanas and the homosexual for fuck’s sake – I am old enough to buy my own pants. has gone. Oi! Council! Sort it! community like gets to take their place alongside Slade The Viz annual is just pages ripped out of issues I’ve and Wizzard, before sinking into obscurity quicker than already got, I don’t use aftershave and it’s not that I don’t 37. ALL CHRISTMAS TELLY, IN FACT 46. MAKING YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS AND you can say ‘Louis Walsh wants a stick up his arse.’ like Special Toffee - but I do like still having my own teeth, Jesus, I can remember the days when the entire country had REALISING THAT THEY’RE THE SAME ONES AS LAST YEAR thanks. a collective orgasm when the Christmas TV and Radio Times This year, I vow to; stop going into Yates and beating people up, 22. SHITTY CHRISTMAS MUSIC EVERYWHERE came out. Nowadays you either spend Christmas night round calm down on the ‘shagging women every night’ thing, be a bit We’ll have a rock ‘n roll Christmas - Christmas rock n’ 29. YOUR FIVE YEAR-OLD NEPHEW GETTING A your mates (providing they live within walking distance, or less ostentatious about my expensive house and car and stop roll…Wish I was at home for Ker-ristmasss…And so this PLAYSTATION 2 you’ve taken out a loan to pay the cab fare), in the spare room being a compulsive liar. is Christmas and what have you done?...Simply. Having. He can’t even read yet, so guess who has to sit with him with a laptop and a tray of sausage rolls, or on the settee in A wonderful Christmas time... And the Christmas bells all week and play piss-poor movie tie-in games because an alcoholic stupor with a tin of Sensations on your rapidly 47. NEW YEAR’S DAY that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom. How the he doesn’t understand what to do? It’s not fair. He doesn’t expanding gut. The dullest day of the year. Even Bono had a cob-on about it and fuck do people in Morrisons put up with this shit without appreciate it. I haven’t even got one. Sulk. although I think he’s a hateful twat, I’m inclined to agree. opening a vein? 38. THE REALISATION, JUST BEFORE YOU GO TO BED, 30. SELECTION BOXES THAT TWO MONTHS OF RELENTLESS MARKETING, 48. JANUARY 23. TO YOUR MAM’S TO A quid’s worth of chocolate if you go to the right all-night HUNDREDS OF POUNDS YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO SPEND Five weeks before you get paid. Tax bills. Credit card bills. DISCOVER YOUR OLD BEDROOM IS NOW THE garage, bundled up with some game that no-one ever AND MILLIONS OF MAN-HOURS SPENT RUNNING Everyone’s skint. No-one goes out. Rubbish! FREEZER ROOM plays. You’ve already eaten so much chocolate that you AROUND LIKE A -ARSED FLY HAVE RESULTED Seriously, if you’d have been run over in the street could easily shit a Mars bar, but it’d be a shame to let it go IN A) AN INTERRUPTED LIE-IN, B) A SESSION IN A 49. MAD BASTARDS WHO LEAVE THEIR CHRISTMAS when you were seven, they would have left everything to waste… RUBBISH PUB, C) SOME PANTS THAT DON’T FIT YOU, D) A LIGHTS ON UNTIL FEBRUARY untouched. Because you didn’t, the minute you leave they GLORIFIED SUNDAY DINNER, E) A ROW WITH YOUR DAD Sitting on the top deck as the bus goes through Bestwood is like chuck away the bed you lost your virginity on and replace 31. HAVING TO GO TO THE LOCAL PUB TO GET OUT OVER RELIGION AND F) AN UTTERLY, UTTERLY FUTILE being in a Sinclair Spectrum flight simulator. it with a chest freezer containing half a dead cow. Where’s OF YOUR MAM’S WAY EXPERIENCE me back copies of 2000ADs and every single Forest You wouldn’t be seen dead in the place on the other 364 Just like last year. And next year. 50. PEOPLE WHO DO NOTHING BUT MOAN ABOUT programme during both European Cup runs? In a canvas days of the year, because you probably would be, but on CHRISTMAS bag in the shed with the leaky roof? Skill! this day it’s heaving. Particularly if there was a machete Miserable twats, aren’t they? Happy birthday Jesus! attack in a nearby pub the night before. So you sit there

2020 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue1www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue1www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 2121 14-18 BROAD STREET NOTTINGHAM BOX OFFICE 0115 952 6611

WINTER CURRY NIGHTS OBSERVER READER OFFER BLOWOUT AT BROADWAY NEW YEAR’S EVE TICKETS SPECIAL EVENTS ON MONDAYS Throughout December and in EVERY FRIDAY FROM 6PM NOW ON SALE WWW.BROADWAY.ORG.UK Enjoy home-cooked curry, a film of collaboration with The Observer we Enjoy The Ride presents… Blowout Becoming something of a tradition, your choice and a free pint of beer are offering readers a dining deal - a new night bringing the finest join the Broadway party on New for just £9 on Mondays evenings in the Cafebar, Mezz and the new mix of chill beat, world, reggae, Year’s Eve. The most famous party from 6pm. Beginning on 4 Mezz restaurant. Collect tokens funk and soul, with live acoustic night of the year, we’ll have djs, December, buy your ticket at the from the Observer newspaper on music and visuals in the supper and a friendly atmosphere. box office when you choose your Sunday 29 November and take downstairs Cafebar. A great way to If you don’t want to be part of the film and order your curry from the advantage of 2 for 1 offers on both begin winding down at the start of outside madness, book your ticket cafebar or Mezz. Ask at the bar for bar and restaurant offers. the weekend, Blowout is for now for only £7 more details. everyone with a fine mix of music and styles and a great guest We are also offering 2 for 1 ticket acoustic set each week. offers on selected screenings, visit the website for more info. Alice Rock might sound like a solo female If you could get anyone in to play with artist, but it’s actually a duo with a you, who would you choose? penchant for purple and black stripes. Alice: Paul McCartney! We don’t want a Songwriter Alice Rock (that’s her real bass player but it would be interesting to name apparently) plays guitar and sings, hear it with him on board. alongside trusty percussion player Tabby. Tabby: Jack Black! They met up through myspace and it’s been onwards and upwards for them Who are the best upcoming artists we since, recording fresh punk-pop tunes should check out? like Wonderland and Kissing in a Camper Alice: Rachael Ramkissoon. Van. LeftLion asked them in for a set Tabby: Black Vinyl Heart and Mr Wolf. at December’s LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree… What do you listen to on the stereo at home? Alice: The Archers on Radio 4 and The Cure. Where did you both start out in music? Tabby: The Spill Canvas, The Mascara Story, Alice: I learnt to play the when I was Juliette and the Licks, My Chemical Romance. seven. I taught myself guitar when I was thirteen and have been in bands ever since! Describe your average day... Tabby: I started when I was twelve after Alice: I don’t have one. My life is very having a one-off drum lesson at school and hectic. Eastenders is the only consistent haven’t stopped. thing in my life. Tabby: I need a job, so most of the time I’m What’s your favourite of your own tracks? just lazing around and getting fat. What are your plans for the festive season? Alice: Dot Com Women. It cracks me up Alice: Spending time with my family and What can people every time! Laughing at my own jokes is a What are your favourite hangouts in watching Gremlins 1 and 2. expect from the show at bit sad but I can’t help it. Nottingham? Tabby: Partying! the Orange Tree? Tabby: Medicinal Lemonade. It’s a feel good Tabby: I’m too anti-social for that… Alice: Well it’s my birthday song, when I play it right! Alice: Sherwood Forest and Ye Olde Trip! What’s the best Christmas present you’ve that night so I will be in a ever been bought? good mood. Expect madness and lots of What’s your favourite track of all time? What was the last thing that made you laugh? Alice: A pink and white racing bike called stripes! Alice: Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights. Alice: Filming our to Kissing Miss Trendy. Tabby: Incubus’ Meglomaniac. in a Campervan. Dragging a full drum kit Tabby: My first drum kit! Anything else you want to say… into the middle of the woods in Hucknall is Alice: Thanks to everyone that has shown What are your favourite cities and venues always good for a giggle. So what were the highlights of 2006 for us support. to play? Tabby: Alice about 5.2 milliseconds ago. Alice Rock? Tabby: Thank you for interviewing me, Alice: The Malt Cross in Nottingham is my Alice: Meeting Tabby and saying goodbye there’s a first time for everything. favourite so far. What was the last thing that made you cry? to being a solo-artist! Tabby: I like The Black Market because Alice: My niece Laila Rock being born! Tabby: Finding someone who can actually sing they have a really good lighting rig, but Tabby: Puff Daddy’s I’ll Be Missing You. and likes doing music as much as I do! Woo!! Alice Rock play LeftLion Presents at the unfortunately I’ve only played there once. Orange Tree with The Deltarays on Also, I like The Vic Inn in Derby because What is coming up for you over the next year? What are your plans for 2007? Saturday 2 December 2006. that’s where I saw The Mascara Story for Tabby: Hopefully lots of sex! Alice: Do a tour and try to get signed. the first time! Alice: Ahem… Tabby: Do a tour, get a job and erm... even www.alice-rock.co.uk more sex!

Formication are a Nottingham-based duo music room to recover. I felt really sick for a What are your favourite hangouts in edition of 23 in deluxe handmade wooden who create their own noise, produce it, bit but I’ve loved music ever since. Nottingham? boxes, they cost £23. More details on our mix it up and then turn it on its head. The Alec: Kingsley’s house, Selectadisc, Squeek, website. guys involved are Kingsley and Alec and What’s your favourite of your own tracks? Alley Café, disused buildings. I like ponds, it’s hard to pigeonhole their sound, but Alec: Void is a long and frenetic track rivers, canals and lakes too. What was the last thing that made you there is definitely a bit of ambience and from our forthcoming Lumberton Trading Kingsley: The Tap, The Pit, The Sal, Reflex, laugh? electronica involved. They’ll be serving up Company release that is utterly mental Game. Kingsley: Trying to teach my wife to make a a night of eerie soundscapes at the first - very intense, especially live. It has a dripping noise with her cheeks. LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree of horrible time signature, it veers from What are your plans for the festive season? Alec: Watching him try to teach his wife to 2007. So we put a few questions to them… industrial acid to screaming ambience and Kingsley: Being continuously drunk to numb do that. It’s not easy. We went to see The it was great watching people try to dance the pain. Mighty Boosh in Derby which was also Where did you both start out in music? to it last time we played it live. We made a Alec: I’m going to be in hiding very funny. Alec: Playing organ in a Baptist church in video for it as well, which will appear on a for as long as possible. I might cook my the south east of England, when I was five. computer near you very soon. mum a nut roast, I suppose. What was the last thing that made you cry? I’ve sat on the knees of Reginald Dixon Kingsley: Faces of Fire is another new Kingsley: Trying to teach my wife to make a and Robert Wolff. During one performance track where I sing like a sweet, sweet What’s the best Christmas present you’ve dripping noise with her cheeks. all three of us played Chariots of Fire to angel. Also our ever been bought? Alec: When I accidentally drove over a a packed house on a huge Wurlitzer and latest release The Kingsley: I don’t remember any Christmas pigeon in town and the people trying to string synth. There were hundreds of tiny Untitled Wasdale presents. I don’t mean that I’ve never had cross the road near my car got sprayed automated clockwork animals that moved Recordings is any, I just have a really bad memory. with blood and tissue. They were covered about to the music, incredible to believe but still sounding Alec: A remote controlled submarine. No, with it and pigeon bits got all over my car. I true. I haven’t found a as fresh as that was a birthday present. A good one, laughed ‘til I cried at that. I always thought more gorgeous string the day we though. they would just fly out of the way, but no! synth sound since. made it. Kingsley: I fainted What’s coming up for you in 2007? in the kitchen Alec: More tattoos. Writing music. Buying Formication, Emkah and Modulator ESP when I was records and machinery. We’re about to will be serving up a night of electronica for about ten release a CD called The Untitled Wasdale LeftLion Presents at the Orange Tree on and my dad Recordings which we’re really proud of. It’s Saturday 13 January 2006. carried me going to be free from our website too. into the Kingsley: We’re also releasing it as a limited www.theformicarium.com

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 23

Raphael Daden

Describe your style: Sculptor working with light. Most influential artist? James Turrell, Brancusi, Olafur Eliasson. What are you up to at the moment? I’m working on my biggest sculpture to date Light-Waves, a 25 metre by 3 metre dynamic light installation that interacts with people walking through a pedestrian underpass of the Northern Relief Road in London. My work is also being shown as part of the Drawing with Light exhibition at Shire Hall Gallery in Stafford from November to January. What is your favourite art space in Nottingham? The urban space around us can be a great venue and Art Gallery is also a nice space. What is your dream project? To make a light installation about one mile out to sea, with a backdrop of pure black night sky. What is your top tip for upcoming artists? Keep at it. Believe in what you’re doing and others will believe in you. Don’t get a job! What is your philosophy for life? Make the most of your time, we’re not here that long. What would you demonstrate against? War and cruelty to animals. What’s your favorite joke? How many visitors to an art gallery does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do it and one to say “Huh! My four-year old could’ve done that!” What would you like for Christmas? A home with lots of green space and the sea five minutes walk away. Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? Enjoy the read and find some time to have a look at my website. If the art funders are reading this, put some more money into public art in and around Notts.

www.raphaeldaden.co.uk

Popx

Describe your style: Popxart. Who is your most influential artist? Jesus. Great parables. Buddha’s pretty good too and Mohammed’s not bad either. Da vinci, Shakespeare, Dali, Banksy. All the movers and shakers. Plus...whoever made the big bang. Interesting work! What are you up to at the moment? I’m updating myspace/ popx and looking to produce some documentaries next year. What is your favourite place to paint in Nottingham? Wherever I am. Dream project? Restoring peace and tranquillity to the hearts and minds of everyone by any means necessary. Top tip for upcoming artists: Be yourself. Which means recognise that you are everyone including the unique being that you think you are. Express that however you like. Use power to heal not harm. What happened to you today? I woke up. Simon Mitchell What’s your philosophy for life? I am Life. You are me. We are infinitely many. Soul in incarnation. One Love is the answer. Describe your style: Chuck Jones meets Glynn Dillon, Philip Bond What would you demonstrate against? Starvation in a world of plenty. Blood for oil for power. Mass Pollution and Jamie Hewlett in a funky rock bar, they all laugh, make stupid for power (we can power this world on pollution free technology). Forced human RFID implants. jokes and get massively drunk. What’s your favorite joke? What’s brown and sticky? A stick! But it doesn’t really make me laugh any more, What is your most influential artist? I guess it’s hard to state other than when I tell it and people go “Uughh, that’s crap!” just one but it’s gonna fall on Jamie Hewlett. The first comic I ever What would you like for Christmas? Christ. A spaceship would be nice too, but I don’t want to be greedy. bought had his comic strip Swifty’s Return in it. I’ve loved him ever How about we arrest the Bush admin and change the global laws to meet the basic human needs of all? That since. would be great. Then we could play… What are you up to at the moment? My work will be shown on a Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers…? Yeah, Cheers dudes! large scale in Australia at the Sustainable Living Festival in mid- February. I’m also doing a music video and some CD covers. Some www.popxart.com exclusive paintings for the Old Angel and Jagermeister in Derby. www.myspace.com/popx A Christmas card (available on my website) and just developing characters and drawing until my hand hurts. May Cortazzi Creative Director of Regenerate Favourite art space in Nottingham? I’ve been in quite a few over the last three years, so I can’t really just say one. However Junktion Describe your design style: English Gentleman meets rock n’roll! 7 has a massive place in my heart. Directional, timeless, eco-friendly clothing for guys with a sense of style Dream project? To work on a massively cool project and get paid who are influenced by the music industry and want to look good whilst well for doing it. doing good! Top tip for upcoming artists? Work bloody hard. Who is your most influential artist or designer? Hardy Blechman of Maharishi. What happened to you today? Got up, had a poo, went to work, got He taught me that you can bring positivity and meaning into clothing! home and now I’m writing this. What are you up to at the moment? I’ve finished my prototypes for What is your favourite quote? ‘Poo, bum, willy’ Sir Simon Mitchell Regenerates first organic menswear collection The Journey, a travelling 25 April 1923. inspired collection that will be launched next year. What would you demonstrate against? COINTELPRO, the Where do you like to shop in Nottingham? Xsample in Hurts Yard, selling government secret program to undermine the popular upsurge of ethical clothing, made by local designers. I like to know about the inspirations thinking. The name stands for Counterintelligence Program, the behind the clothing I’m wearing, it brings quirky personality to clothing, they targets are not enemy spies, but people with a different view to feel more special, as if they have their only little story to tell! the government. Dream project? Travelling the world and dressing it! What’s your favourite joke? Hey mum can I lick the bowl? No flush Top tip for upcoming artists: Stay focused and believe in what you do, it like everyone else. the universe will provide! What would you like for Christmas? My two front teeth, and to see What happened to you today? Woke up, listened to some 40s Swing, my family, I hardly get to see them. danced around my room. The best way to start the day! Anything else you want to say to LeftLion readers? Thank you for What do you see yourself in the future? The aim is for Regenerate hitting reading and hopefully speak to you soon. the fashion industry worldwide, so we can help more people and give them a chance to lead respectable happy lives. What would you demonstrate against? I believe in world equality between www.simitchell.co.uk all races, sexes and religions. The world should embrace our differences and learn to live as one country in unity. www.xfon.deviantart.com What would you like for Christmas? A ticket to Thailand please! Anything else you want to say to Left Lion readers? Have an adventure everyday! Win exclusive artwork by Simon on www.leftlion.co.uk/forum www.myspace.com/maycortazzi

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 25 LeftLion whips out the credit card and wallows in the retail wonderland that is Nottingham. OUT&ABOUT Our correspondents this time around were BARS/GYMS/RESTAURANTS/SHOPS Jenny Hill, Claudia Kowalski and Camillo.

Dave Mann Music I Dress Myself

Its not often you get to write about a retail space in Nottingham that has been going Do you ever think about where your clothes come from or how much energy has been for 34 years. Mansfield road has seen various businesses come and go in its time and wasted in creating and selling your perfect new top? Probably not but thankfully the Dave Mann Music has held strong for over three decades. They provide entry level to people at I Dress Myself do. Hannah Davis and Pete Conway have been running their high end guitars, banjos, ukeleles, mandolins and a host of other acoustic instruments independent t-shirt printing business since 2005 and it’s a stitch above Topshop. alongside a huge selection of strings and accessories. The main job of I Dress Myself is to provide t-shirts for bands, record labels, graphic When you chat to owner Dave you know you are talking to someone that runs their designers, sports clubs and other businesses. Don’t expect to find batches of boisterous business with passion and an instinctive insight into the service he provides. hen night tops or nickname-adorned shirts for lads holidays in Malaga here though. You can provide personal designs or they can provide the inspiration depending on your An instinct which is rooted in the fact that all the Mann family (who run the business artistic needs. After you’ve picked your colours, sizes and extras like glitter or buttons, together) are accomplished musicians. Dave plays jazz , jazz accordion and leave them to create your perfect garment and they’ll deliver to anywhere in the UK. guitar, while his wife Rachael plays violin in the Djanology orchestra and his son Walter If 200 ‘look we are all interested in the same things’ t-shirts seem too much, you could is a guitarist. always buy some badges instead.

Add to this an in-house technician (Colin Staples) who is one of the most sought after If you do not have an occasion worthy of a bunch of tops do not despair, there are in the country and you start to see the key to the stores longevity. Colin has been individual t-shirts for sale too. Leftlion Extravaganza attendees will welcome the Oxjam repairing instruments for over 30 years and offers a detailed set-up service. If you’ve Nottingham top designed by Helen Wood. A third of the £12 cost goes to Oxfam so you played your instrument for a few months and feel it could be sounding better pop back don’t even have to feel guilty about feeding your wardrobe. Plus you know it has been in to the shop and he’ll put his experience into adjusting it for improved performance. made ethically. I Dress Myself bank at the Co-op, recycle wherever possible and have an ethical trading policy. This includes ensuring traders have honourable working standards Alternatively you could pop into one of the more mainstream shops to be sold your for all staff. The company also plan to use more organic cotton in the near future. The instrument by a spotty work experience kid with all the musical knowledge of an media obsessing over global warming and climate change may have encouraged some of aubergine, or buy online with the obvious lack of after sales service which buying in us to get the bus more or put our newspaper in the recycling bin but this can also extend store can provide. to what we buy in the first place. The website has yards of information on exactly how I Dress Myself make their products and a breakdown of what that means when you hand The shop is a gem in the local music scene and if you’re a budding or established over your purse. Look out for the re-launch of the site soon. player it is well worth stopping by to sample their musical knowledge. I Dress Myself, 32-40 Carrington Street, NG1 0115 9474140 Dave Mann Music, 123-125 Mansfield Road, NG1 0115 9417955 www.idressmyself.co.uk www.davemann.co.uk

The Social

Probably one of the coolest bars in Nottingham, The Social was opened in November 1999 by the chaps at Heavenly Records who fell in love with the city on various random musical excursions and wanted to recreate their famed bar in London somewhere that wasn’t populated with tourists and ponces. Rock City took it over last year, and have kept it as proper as it’s always been.

The bar downstairs has a policy of happy hours from five until nine on weeknights, illegally attractive bar staff, the finest jukebox in the Midlands and it stays open long after other bars have knocked it on the head. What The Social is truly renowned for, however, is its innate knack for catching ridiculously successful bands just before every other tosser gets to hear them on Top Of The Pops. The Strokes, The White Stripes, Starsailor… they’ve been here, done that and been close enough to touch. There are gigs on nearly every night and the place has garnered a well-earn rep on the circuit.

As for the club nights… where to start? The evening keeps going as they have just revamped their late night entertainment with some seriously heavyweight and notorious promoters. They have taken it more messy and more underground with new starters such as Ambush (proper mashup) alongside bringing in major promotion teams. Both Spectrum and Detonate have secondary nights, as well as the likes of the Highness soundsystem - a reggae soundsystem as it should be.

Although there may have been a few too many hairdos in of late, the place is slowly being steered back to its roots and continuing its well established role of being Nottingham’s most reliable drinking holes. Turn up any night and fun is guaranteed.

The Social, 23 Pelham Street, NG1 0115 9505078 www.socialnottingham.co.uk

26 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 All The Trimmings

Fancy a Christmas dinner with your friends or workmates, but can’t be bothered to do the washing up afterwards? You’ll be glad to know that there are a range of options around Nottingham to whet your festive appetite. Here’s four we picked out:

The Orange Tree One of the coolest pubs in town and the home to our monthly LeftLion Presents music sessions. The food in there is always pretty good anyway, but they’ve excelled themselves on their proper Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. The clientele is an interesting mix of business people and students (it is the local for Trent students after all). The staff are uber-attractive and the beers on tap are always chosen with love and affection. It’s worth booking your meal in advance for bigger groups, not least because they’ll probably sort you out with the big table at the back for you and your mates. The Orange Tree, Shakespeare Street, NG1 0115 9473239 www.orangetree.co.uk

Deux This lovely pub is tucked away in Sherwood Rise. Formerly a hotel, it’s been taken over by an experienced French chef and pub landlord and they’re offering up a traditional British Christmas dinner with a nod to the French ambience too. There will be vegetarian options available in their relaunched bistro and the whole restaurant side is available caves, it’s like having an ale in the shire but with less become the stuff of legend for those looking to replenish for private hire. If you pick the right evening you might annoying hobbits around. The food menu is the basic Hardy their energy after a hard night’s clubbing. So the Christmas even get to sample one of their live music nights – this is a Hansons chain menu, which is nothing that new, but it’s menu they’ve put out is bound to be affordable and quality. place where lots of local musos hang out, so there’s always decent. The ambience here is the main thing though. Sit If you eat it on a Wednesday and stick around for a bit you quality on offer. near the mysterious model boat that hasn’t been cleaned might even come across the LeftLion pub quiz. Our trivia is Deux, Clumber Avenue, Sherwood Rise NG5 0115 9856 724 for decades, apparently because the last people who tried legendary. all died. Golden Fleece, 105 Mansfield Rd, NG1 0115 947 2843 Golden Fleece Fancy your roast at the pub that drum and bass built? Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, Brewhouse Yard, NG1 Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem Ever since this place was taken over by the promoters 0115 947 3171 www.triptojerusalem.com If you’re into your history then you can’t really beat going of Detonate it’s been a firm fixture for drinkers on the to the oldest pub in England can you? Set in a series of Mansfield Road trail. Their Sunday dinners have already

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 27 Another Year Bites The Dust! The Death of Vinyl It’s not just decreasing sales figures and various distribution companies going bust in the last few months: Because of oil shortages we’re eventually going to run out of vinyl... What will people do? Wait for an alternative, use stuff like final scratch or mix CD’s ? agent smith - dataset

My mate tried a CDJ set-up the other day and said it couldn’t have been easier - and thus less satisfying. There’s just something right about vinyl that CDs or Mp3s can’t satisfy. pandapad

If it stopped being produced tomorrow I Words: Alan Gilby would just be happy that the second-hand Photos: David Bowen price would go down and I could get some (LeftLion New Years Eve 2005) 1210’s for a fraction of the retail price. I can think of several individuals who would be over the moon - it would mean that vinyl DJs would be exclusive again. New Years day is often one of the most painful of the year. It usually involves I Got Connected To A Freaky Phone waking up some time in the afternoon, still unsure of your surroundings, Surely the answer is recycling? I know my followed quickly by rushing to the nearest toilet to remove as much of the Dad’s got some Shirley Bassey records that could be melted down, previous nights excesses as possible. Only to find inexplicable marks on your Adrian face as you catch your zombi-like reflection in the mirror. New releases will eventually come to an end Shortly afterwards the deep unmoving pain inside your New Years Ball for sure. But there’s plenty of second hand/ head kicks in and it’s back to bed as quickly as you Venue: Deux back catalogue material already out there. We left it. New Years Day may as well be wiped off the Price: tbc need to get back into crate diggin’. mattboyslim calendar. If you’re looking for a good local then Deux will meet your needs nicely. Expect a cracking atmosphere, live Much though I love vinyl records, of which I More often than not ‘the best night of the year’ never music and . buy several every week and have thousands quite matches up to expectations, usually tainted of the buggers lying around, its eventual by inflated door and drink prices and the fact that all New Years Eve Party disappearance is insignificant next to the your mates ended up in different places because you Venue: The Maze wider issue of having no plastic. couldn’t agree on where to go. What’s more when it’s Price: £15 Peej all finished you end up paying half a months rent to Times: 9pm - 4am Where to get local some guy in a car that looks very little like a taxi. Grain and Old Basford headline so you know it’s going to be a quality night. produce But never mind all that, when it comes together properly New Years Eve is a night to be talked about New Years Eve Stealth Versus Rescued You can get a box of locally-grown organic veg from Roots on Mansfield Road. £6, £8 or £10. for the rest of the year. So how can you improve your Venue: Stealth and Rescue Rooms Adrian chances of having a good one? Price: 8pm - 3.00am Times: Open until late There used to be a sort of mini market Well, if you’re planning on heading to a venue in town With Justice of We Are Your Friends fame, I Was a Cub on Thursday mornings at the YMCA on to mark the entry of 2007 then LeftLion is here to help. Scout and VinylJacks in the red room. Shakespeare Street. Lovely fresh vegetables, We’ve put together a handy list of all the parties we much bigger and tastier then those from could find and it turns out there’s quite a lot going on... Sinfonia ViVA New Year’s Eve Gala supermarkets and next to nothing in cost. Venue: Royal Centre Jules LeftLion New Year Extravaganza Price: £11.50 - £25.50 Theres a farmer’s market in Bridgford but Venue: The Orange Tree Times: 7.30pm it’s more about expensive cheese and bison Price: £10 advance If a night of classical music sounds like your idea of burgers. Nice to walk around and try before Times: 7pm - 2am then you’re sorted. you buy though! If last years party was anything to go by it’ll be an Nuclear Winter Sis absolute blinder. Live music will be provided by The New Years Eve Smears, Sidearm, Nuclear Family, Mr Jones, Bass Venue: Saltwater If you hurry up, you can still get some conkers Rooster and Friends and DJ Squigley on the decks. Price: £10 advance off the Forest. Lord of the Nish There will be snacks and a free drink for everyone who Times: 7pm - late gets there early. Buy tickets from www.leftlion.co.uk/ With Koda Cola, Rick Donohue, Fran Green and Dave Get down to the Thompson twins on Haydn tickets. See page nine for band interviews. C. They’ve got a barbecue on the heated terrace with Road. A pair of characters, . fireworks at midnight. Mr Jones Firefly New Year Style: Breaks, House, New Years Eve Shindig My family buy up most meat they eat from Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom Venue: Golden Fleece a local organic farm shop. I don’t feast on Price: £8.50 advance Price: £10 adv carcass myself, but they say it’s the Bronx. Mr.Dubbs Times: 9pm - 6am Times: 8pm - late If you want to rave it up into the small hours of 2007 If you’re after bass then the Fleece with DJ Bailey and Sounds a bit shit and out in the sticks, but then this is a likely option. Firefly have been putting on other guests is where you’ll want to be. Wheatcroft’s Garden Centre in West Bridgford big parties for years. If you’re looking for the messiest has a new food court, with loads of local farm night on offer then look no further. Just The Tonic New Year Blow Out produce. Venue: The Approach MassiveGorillaBomb – Crikey! DIY Price: £27.50 Venue: Pelhams Times: 7pm Gusto in Sneinton - most of the produce in there is locally sourced. The wine is a tad Price: tbc Just The Tonic is ‘The best comedy club in the country’ expensive, but the meat and sauces in there Times: 8pm - late according to Johnny Vegas. Laughing you into 2007 are very good. Some excellent oils in there too. supplied by the DIY crew. will be Junior Simpson, Die I Got Connected To A Freaky Phone Clatterschenkenfietermaus, Darrell Martin and at ASkills least one more comedian. Venue: Dogma Price: £10 Times: 9pm - 3am Pick one of these that sounds like your kind of thing If beats and breaks are your bag then let A Skillz, Tony and you should be okay, Happy New Year! Global and Freeman help you celebrate. 28 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 ������������������������� ��������������� ������������������������ ��������������������������� ������������������������������������������ �����������������������������

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DUFELGANG AND THESOCIAL PRESENT A CHRISTMAS & END-OF-TERM SPECIAL WITH DJ’S: BELLE & SEBASTIAN PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS SECRET STEALTH PLUS DUFELGANG DJS

AT THE SOCIAL FRIDAY 15TH DECEMBER 10pm– 4am TICKETS £7 ADV./£8

ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM: Rock City box office Talbot Street, Nottingham 0115 958 8484 Selectadisc Over the counter upstairs, main store. Market Street, Nottingham online from www.seetickets.com, www.alt-tickets.co.uk Limited tickets available on the door. For more info, call 07939 313090

dufelgang. www.myspace.com/dufelgang listings... music / weeklies / comedy / theatre / exhibitions Friday 01/12 Saturday 2/12 Tuesday 05/12 Thursday 07/12 Saturday 9/12

Electric Eel Shock Wildside Acoustic Tuesdays Presents... Wreckless Eric Amusement Parks on Fire Venue: Rock City Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Malt Cross Cafe Bar Venue: The Rescue Rooms Venue: The Rescue Rooms Price: £7 Times: 9pm - 2am Price: Free Price: £8 adv Price: £5 adv Times: 7pm doors Teenage Casket Co. Times: 8:30pm Times: 7:30pm Times: 6pm With support from Amy Rigby. With support from Seachange, Tool Basement Boogaloo with The Blood Arm This Et Al and Plans and Apologies. Venue: Nottingham Arena Maurice Fulton Venue: The Social Vile Imbeciles ex 80’s Matchbox Price: £30 Style: Deep House, Electronica, Price: £8 adv Venue: Maze Wholesome Fish Venue: Maze Times: 8pm - 11pm Price: £5 Venue: Running Horse VinylJacks Price: £7 adv £8 otd With support from Crash My Times: From 8pm Price: £3 Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 10pm till 3.30am Model Car. Vile Imbeciles, Lo-Ego, Love Ends Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: Free Disaster and O’ Lovely Lie. Times: 9pm - 2am Enjoy The Ride Castle College Presents: Drowned in Sound Clubnight VinylJacks plays 60s Garage. Venue: Malt Cross Cafe Bar Venue: Junktion 7 The Highness Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £3 / £5 (NUS) Price: £3 Style: Reggae, Roots, Dub Price: £4 / £5 / £6 Fat Digester Times: 8.30pm - 1am Times: 8:30pm - 12pm Venue: BluePrint Times: 8pm - 2am Venue: Maze Deep Sound Channel and Sound Found Image, Jimmy and Price: £5 Computerman, The Screening, Price: £5 Spaceships are Cool. the Skinflints, You are Cautioned, Times: 10pm - late Twentysixfeet, Polar and Exit Calm. Times: 9pm Silhouette Season and Mexican LeftLion Presents Avalanche. Mascara Mascara Venue: The Orange Tree Sunday 10/12

Venue: Rock City Price: Free Versus the Night (Japan) Friday 08/12 Paolo Nutini Price: £3 before 11pm (NUS) Times: 8pm - 12am Venue: Junktion 7 Lobotomy Venue: Rock City Times: 10pm - 3am LeftLion Presents continues at the With support from Centurion and Venue: BluePrint Price: £13.50 adv Orange Tree. Happy birthday Alice! Architects. Price: £6 Times: 7:30pm The Blueskins With the Deltarays and Alice Rock. Times: 9pm - late Venue: The Social Plucking Skanker, Kuss, Glen is Dead Tour Price: £5 adv Wednesday 06/12 Parva, Mark C, Mossop, Dilk, Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 8pm - 11pm The Smugglers Inn Mugwump and Nicky Fishmarkett. Price: £8 - £10 With support from 8. Style: Hiphop, Times: 6pm - 12am

Venue: Saltwater Damage Inc The Planet Smashers, Mustard Muse Live Price: Free Venue: The Rig Plug, Bomb The Music Industry! Venue: Muse Loggerheads Are 1! Times: 8pm - 1am Price: £3 b4 11pm Mumrah, Freefallfelix and Price: £2 Venue: Loggerheads Aled, Alex Traska, Invisible Jim and Times: 10pm - 3am Damn Skippy. Times: 9pm - 2am Times: From 8.30pm Nick Shaw. You Slut! and The Dead Souls. A Hansel and Gretel themed Dollop (Christmas Party) Sumac Centre Fundraiser evening featuring so many great Venue: The Social Venue: Sumac Centre Urban Dub talents. Mulled wine, ginger bread Price: £3 / £4 Price: Allforchareedymate. Venue: Junktion 7 and all the rest...and its FREE! Times: 11pm - 3am Times: 11am - 10pm Price: £5 adv Come wish one of the best pubs in With stalls showcasing local talent Times: 9pm - 2am Nottingham a very Happy Birthday. MUSE Live in arts and crafts, kids activities, With support from the 10 o’Clock Saggy-Pants Presents Venue: Muse mulled wine, veggy cafe and open Horses, Dready and The Mighty Venue: Maze Price: £3 mike night and music. Steppers, and Fat Lady Singh. Sunday 03/12 Price: £3 Times: 9pm - 2am

Newton Faulkner Times: 8pm An evening with Joe Driscoll. Care In The Community The Silver Tongues Venue: Maze Sam Ferris, Ambidextrous and K Eyed. Christmas Special Venue: Running Horse Price: £7 adv Trashlight Vision Venue: The Social Price: £3 Times: 7.30pm The Last Town Chorus Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: The Social Price: £5 Times: 8pm - 11pm

Woody Price: £6 adv Times: 9pm - 2am Jack Peñate (Acoustic), Laura Pure Filth Venue: The Social Times: 7pm - 10pm Patchwork Grace, Plastic Toys, Marling and The Video Nasties. Style: Techno, DnB, House Price: £4 adv DIP and Longdrop. Venue: BluePrint Times: 8pm - 11pm University Sinfonia Times: 10pm - late Venue: Rock City Stuck In Second Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre

Price: £8.25 Venue: Running Horse Price: £8 (NUS) Spectrum Monday 04/12 Times: 7.30pm Price: £3 Times: 7.30pm Style: Breaks Enter Shikari are a mix of hardcore Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Stealth Damn You! Presents and trance, definitely one to see if Price: £10 Venue: Maze you are into either of the above. Giles Peterson Monday 11/12 Times: 10pm - 5am Price: £6 / £7 Venue: The Market Bar Room One – Spectrum vs. Times: 8pm Bibliotheque Discotheque [Get Price: £5 Sugarbeat Six Organs of Admittance and Last Hype] for Christmas Thursday 07/12 Times: 10pm - 3.30am Meat Katie, Utah Saints, Jay of The Real Hardmen. Venue: Bar None

Cunning and Pete Jordan. Price: £2 Kid N Play Room Two – Good Times with… Willard Grant Conspiracy (Solo) Times: 9pm - 2am Venue: The Rescue Rooms Norman Jay, Dave Boultbee, Beane Venue: The Social Runs Until: 21/11 Price: £6 and Percussion with D’Livver. Price: £10 adv Listen&Learn, Kevin Thunderstrike Times: 9.30pm - late Room Three – Camouflage Times: 8pm - 11pm and their loyal electro elves and MU-ZIQ, Clark, Kids In Tracksuits, Presents…. reindeer. Possibly a band (tbc). Too-B and Windows 78. Jehst (Live), Asaviour, DJ IQ, Black Wire Placebo Redroom hosted by Ambush. Conspicuous The Coroner, Sir Venue: The Rescue Rooms Venue: Nottingham Arena Majik Smurf Little, Kids in Tracksuits and Price: £6 adv Price: £23.50 Venue: Maze Windows 78. Times: 7:30pm Saturday 09/12 Price: £3.50 TermStyle Times: 8pm Venue: Bar None My Milkman has AIDS With free cake! Plus guests. Price: Free Entry Style: Pop, Hiphop, Cheese Saturday 02/12 Times: 9pm - Late Venue: The Rescue Rooms

Price: £5 (NUS) Tuesday 12/12 Dragonforce Notekillers Times: 10pm - 3am Venue: Rock City Dj Shadow Venue: The Social Price: £12.50 adv Venue: Rock City Price: £6 adv In the Same Boat presents... Times: 7pm doors Price: £18.50 Goldie Lookin’ Chain Times: 8pm - 11pm Venue: Maze Times: 7.30pm doors Venue: Rock City Notekillers, Fear Of Flying, The Price: £3.50 The Men They Couldn’t Hang Price: £12.50 Lovvers and Nephu Huzzband. Times: 9pm Venue: The Rescue Rooms Fionn Regan Times: 7:30pm The Mothers, Rapunzel MAP Price: £12.50 adv Venue: Maze End Of Term(Ish) Skirmish and Alice Rock. Times: 7pm - 10pm Price: £8 Overdrive Venue: The Social Times: 7.30pm Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 11pm - 3am Awakenings Detonate Presents... Price: £2 Venue: Rose of England Style: DnB Six.By Seven Times: 8pm - 2am Fabulous Foxes Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Venue: The Social Venue: The Social Venue: Rose of England Times: 7pm - 11pm Price: £6 on the door Price: £10 adv Price: £5 (£4 highsoc) Times: 11pm - 3.30am Times: 8pm - 11pm Times: 8pm - late Last Pedestrians Artificial Intelligence, Kasra, Tuesday 05/12 With support from Tim Holmes Venue: Hotel Deux Fergus and Transit Mafia. (Death in Vegas). Word Of Mouth Times: 7pm Hosted by Ruthless and P-Fine. The Oysterband Venue: The Rescue Rooms Venue: Muse LeftLion & Malt Cross Xmas Price: £14 adv Price: £2 (less than a pint) Duels Andy Whittle and Palava Party Times: 9pm - 2am Venue: The Social Venue: Hotel Deux Venue: Malt Cross Cafe Bar Gary Numan Price: £6 adv Price: Free Price: Free Venue: Rock City Liquid Sky Times: 7pm - 10pm Times: 7pm Times: 8pm - 11pm Price: £17 Venue: Junktion 7 LeftLion gets festive with an Times: 7.30pm doors Price: £5 Spectrum: Something Different Danielson acoustic night of delights. A week Times: 8.30pm - 12am Style: Breaks Venue: The Social earlier than usual - you’ve been Morrissey With support from Awaken, NG26 Venue: The Social Price: £9 adv warned. With Das Ragworms and Venue: Nottingham Arena and Strain. Price: £5 Times: 8pm - 10:30pm Will Jeffery. Price: £32.50 Times: 11pm - 4am Christmas Gift Ideas from Funky Monkey VINYL • CDS • T-SHIRTS • COOLSTUFF New Range of T-Shirts from to the

Massive range of CDs from Hed Kandi to D&B to Funk, Soul & Broken Beat. Hip Hop / R & B mixtapes from only £1.99 PLUS: Record Bags / Slipmats / Vinyl / Gift Vouchers for the man / woman or DJ in your life 14 GOOSE GATE, NOTTINGHAM 0115 956 1181 • [email protected] • Open 10am-6pm Mon-Sat listings... music / weeklies / comedy / theatre /exhibitions Wednesday 13/12 Friday 15/12 Wednesday 20/12 Saturday 23/12 Friday 05/01

Tasty Fanzine and Kombination Funk Folkwit Records Presents Spectrum B.E.A.T.S. Pop Confessional Christmas Dsfar Xmas Party Style: DnB, Techno Venue: Maze Style: Breaks Party Venue: Rose of England Venue: BluePrint Price: £3 / £4 Venue: The Social Venue: The Social Price: £3.50 Price: £5 Times: 8pm Price: £5 Price: £3 Times: 8pm - 12pm Times: 10pm - late Julian Gaskell and guests. Times: 11pm - 4am Times: 10.30pm - 3am MJ Hibbett, Orchards and Pete Missill (France) and Pete Jordan. Rev. Car-Bootleg and Green. Kasabian Ralfe Band Paul (Just the Tonic). Venue: Nottingham Arena Venue: The Social Nottingham Harmonic Society Satnam’s Tash Price: £21 Price: £6 Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Maze Times: 7pm - 10pm Price: £5 - £10 Price: £4.00 MUSE Live Times: 7.30pm doors Venue: Muse The Thunder Xmas Show With support from Bruce Myers Price: £4 Venue: Rock City Tuesday 26/12 and John Marriott. Times: 9pm - 2am Price: £27.50 Pure Filth The Almighty Shlomo, Foz and special guest. Times: 7:30pm Style: Techno, DnB, House Venue: Rock City The Great Escape Venue: BluePrint Price: £15 Venue: Junktion 7 Belle and Sebastian Xmas Party Nottingham Harmonic Society Times: 10pm - late Times: 7.30 doors Price: tbc Venue: The Social Venue: Royal Centre Times: 8:30pm - 12am Price: £7 Price: £5 - £10 Times: 10pm - 4am Saturday 06/01 Thursday 28/12 Neon Heights With support from Secret Stealth. Nightbreed Christmas Party Wildside Clubnight Venue: The Social Venue: Junktion 7 Basement Boogaloo Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £5 adv The Phonics Price: Free / £3 Venue: Maze Price: tbc Times: 7pm - 10pm Venue: Running Horse Times: 8pm - 12am Price: tbc Times: 9pm - 2am Price: £3 The Church of Nightbreed’s Times: 10pm Times: 8:30pm - 12am Xmas party! Featuring 3 gothic Xmas Party with Ame (Sonar Damn You! Venue: Rock City cover band. / industrial bands, DJ Sets, CD Kollektiv). Venue: Rose of England Price: £17 adv stall (for your last minute Xmas Price: £4 / £5 Times: 7pm Hot Renault Traffic Club presents), raffles, presents and Wigflexmas Party Times: 8:30pm With support from The Holloways, Venue: Junktion 7 surprises! Style: DnB, Hiphop, Dubstep Birchville Cat Motel, Peter Wright Noisettes and Frog DJ’s. Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Venue: Muse and Gareth Hardwick. Times: 9pm - 2am Price: 99p

Blues Jam Session The Risks, Dirty Tux, Thursday 21/12 Times: 9pm - 3am

Venue: Running Horse Thomas Tantrum, Geezer Safari Live set from Vinyl [Abort]. Freeman Sunday 07/01 Price: Free and Hail!Zeus Venue: Dogma Times: 8.30pm - 12am Killswitch Engage Price: Free Colin Staples on stage. Bring your Venue: Rock City Times: 10pm - 2am guitar and play the blues. Saturday 16/12 Friday 29/12 Price: £15 adv

Times: 7:30pm Misst Farmyard Christmas Party In AOR

Thursday 14/12 Style: Dubstep, Electronica Aid of Cancer Research Style: Rock Venue: BluePrint Venue: The Social Venue: The Rig Wednesday 10/01 The Pogues Price: £5 Price: £4 Price: £3 b4 11pm Venue: Nottingham Arena Times: 10pm - 3am Times: 8pm - late Times: 10pm - 2am Sodastream Price: £27.50 (+bf) 1st Blood, The Dirty Backbeats, Venue: The Social VinylJacks Left of The Dealer, Foncheros Stomper! Price: £6 Fever (4 Deck Set) Style: Garage, Sixties and Team Hughes. Venue: The Social Times: 7pm - 10pm Venue: Dogma Venue: The Rescue Rooms Price: £3 Sodastream, Airport Girl and Price: Free Times: 11.30pm - 3am Ambush Christmas and New Year Rave Up! Monkey Swallows The Universe Times: 10pm - 2am Style: Breaks, Electronica Plus Pete Jordan. Concert for India Venue: The Social Poppycock Venue: St Nik’s Church Price: Free Venue: Moog Thursday 11/01

Emmaculate Thursday Price: £3.50 Times: 10.30pm - 3am Price: Free Kevin Montgomery and his band Venue: The Rig Times: 7:45pm - 9:30pm(ish) Kid Chameleon, Cut Freqz, Mister Times: 8pm - 12am Price: £3 Benn, Casual Breakin’ and Foe. Venue: Maze Times: 7.30pm Times: 8pm Magic Car Demo

A sexy blend of Video, Music and Venue: Hotel Deux The Best Of The West End Venue: BluePrint Dance to move minds and feet. Price: Free Venue: Royal Centre Price: £5 Featuring artists and musicians Times: 7pm Price: £15.50 - £20 Times: 9pm - 2am Friday 12/01 whose aim is to please. Powerful rhythms, solid beats, mind The Big The Great Escape Fame expanding visuals. Venue: Maze Venue: Junktion 7 Saturday 30/12 Venue: Royal Centre

Price: £5 Price: tbc Price: various The McGanns Supernight Times: 9pm Times: 8:30pm - 12am Times: Evenings 8pm, Venue: Hotel Deux Venue: The Social With support from Jimmy The The 45 Rebellion, The Tom Wardle Saturday 4pm Price: Free Times: 8pm - late Squirrel, Beat My Guest and All Too Band, The Broken Dolls and Will Jeffery. Runs Until: 20/01 Aware. Times: 7pm The New Scorpion Band Spectrum Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Octoberman Friday 22/12 The Running Water Venue: Stealth Price: £12 (NUS) Venue: The Social Venue: Royal Centre 30 years of Punk Show Price: £7 adv Times: 7.30pm Price: £5 Price: £15 adv £20 otd Venue: Marcus Garvey Ballroom Times: 10pm - 4am Times: 7pm - 10pm Times: 7.30pm Price: £20 Hexadecimal, Freeman and more tbc Blues Brother Tribute Times: 7.30pm doors Venue: Running Horse Highness Sound System Bocajito plus special guest. Love Ends Disaster! Price: £4 Venue: The Social Venue: Moog Venue: The Rescue Rooms Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: £5 Price: Free Saggy-Pants Xmas Party Price: £4 Times: 11pm - 4am Times: 8pm - 12am Venue: Maze Times: 8pm Saggy-Pants Presents Bob Sadler, Ron Basejam Price: £4 With support from Lo-Ego, Venue: Junktion 7 Men Women and Children (Crazy P), Tom Bailey and Times: 9pm Quartershade and Price: £4 Venue: Rock City Cal Gibson (Neon Heights). Dirty Saint, The Stoatz and We Show Up On Radar. Times: 8:30pm - 12am Price: £7 The Deltarays. Team Hughes, Majik, Kingsize Times: 7:30pm Sunday 31/12 The Rubber Room DJ’s Operator and Onion. The Rubber Room DJ’s Venue: The Social Hard Rock Night Venue: The Social Price: Free The Elementz Venue: Running Horse Price: Free Times: 10.30pm - 3am Venue: Muse Price: £3pm New Year’s Eve Times: 10.30pm - 3am Present “Natural Selection” Radio Times: 8.30pm - 12am See featured listing on page 28 Teenage Casket Company Show Live with Karizma, MB, Sideshow, Tolerance and Spirytus. Majik Venue: Maze Rukus and MC Killa. Venue: The Rescue Rooms Thursday 04/01 Price: £4 Price: £5 Times: 8pm Sunday 17/12 Times: 8pm doors The Highness Sound System With support from Ten Foot Dolls. Friday 15/12 With support from Left Of The Style: Reggae, Roots, Dub The Longest Day Dealer and Seretone. Venue: BluePrint Lobotomy Sweet Revenge Venue: Rock City Price: £5 Venue: BluePrint Venue: The Rig Price: £25 adv Times: 10pm - late Price: £6 Price: £3 b4 11pm Times: 7pm Times: 9pm - late Times: 10pm - 3am With support from Stiff Little Saturday 23/12

Fingers, The Damned Friday 05/01 Robbo and Disco Saturday 13/01 Idiot Joy and Neville Staple. Venue: Hotel Deux Mascara Mascara Venue: Maze Price: Free Venue: Rock City My Milkman has AIDS Price: £4 Times: 7pm Price: £3 b4 11pm (NUS) Style: Pop, Hiphop, Cheese Times: 9.30pm Monday 18/12 Times: 10pm - 3am Venue: The Rescue Rooms With support from Big Gay Joe Driscoll UK Subs Price: Free - £6 (NUS) Following and DJ Rick D. Venue: Muse Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 10pm - 3am Price: Free Times: 9pm - 2am listings... music / weeklies / comedy / theatre /exhibitions

Saturday 13/01 Sunday 21/01 Tuesday 30/01 Sundays Wednesdays

Now It’s Overhead Chris Knight Headlined Open Mic Jazz at the Bell Wigflex Venue: The Social Venue: Maze Venue: Malt Cross Cafe Bar Style: Jazz Style: Hiphop, DnB, Dubstep Price: £6 adv Times: 7.30pm doors Price: Free Venue: Bell Inn Venue: Stone Times: 7pm - 10pm Times: 8:30pm Price: Free Price: Free Times: 12.30pm – 3am Times: 9pm - late Spectrum: Something Different Tuesday 23/01 The Radio Dept. Spam Chop playing beats, breaks Style: Breaks Venue: The Social The Underground Sessions hiphop, techie house and all sorts Venue: The Social Acoustic Tuesdays Presents... Price: £7 Venue: Snug else. With live breakdancers, free Price: £5 Venue: Malt Cross Cafe Bar Times: 8pm - 11pm Price: Free N64 and visuals by Synoptics. Times: 11pm - 4am Price: Free Times: 9pm - 4am Times: 8pm - 12am Ray Lamontagne LeftLion Pub Quiz Drowned in Sound Clubnight Venue: Royal Centre Out To Lunch Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £17.50 Style: Jazz Our weekly pub quiz continues Times: 9pm - 2am Wednesday 24/01 Times: 7pm Venue: Dogma at the Fleece, come down and

Nasantara Presents Price: Free you could win a load of beer or LeftLion Presents Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Bocajito Times: Afternoon a meal for your team and more Venue: The Orange Tree Price: £10 (NUS) Venue: Moog importantly have a laugh. Price: Free Times: 8pm Price: Free Moog is Sunday Times: 8pm - 12am Times: 8pm - 12am Style: Relaxed, Funk Electric Banana A week later than usual to avoid the Halle Bob Sadler, Ron Basejam Venue: Moog Venue: The Social new year come-down, although if it’s Venue: Royal Centre (Crazy P), Tom Bailey and Price: Free Price: £2 still lingering this night of electronica Price: £8 - £29 Cal Gibson (Neon Heights). Times: 12pm - 12am Times: 10.30pm - 3am will sort you out nicely. Formication, Times: 7.30pm Modulator ESP and Emkah. We Love Wednesday 31/01 Style: Acoustic Thursdays

Thursday 25/01 Venue: Hotel Deux Simply Ballroom Homegrown Price: Free Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Hotel Deux Tuesday 16/01 The Great Escape Times: 8pm Price: £20.50 - £22.50 Price: Free Venue: Junktion 7 It’s live and almost acoustic. Times: 8pm Times: 7pm LeftLion Unplugged Price: £3 Eclectic open mic night. The best of Nottingham’s talented Venue: Malt Cross Cafe Bar Times: 8pm singer-songwriters. Price: Free Nottingham School of Samba Weeklies Times: 8pm - 12am Ambush Workshops Noodle Our first unplugged session at the Style: Mashup Fridays Style: Samba Venue: The Spot Malt Cross of 2007, come along, Venue: The Social Venue: Maze Price: Free relax and drink. With Jezz Hall and Price: Free Nuts Price: £10 per year

Starscreen. More tbc. Times: 10.30pm - 3am Style: Indie, House Times: 7pm - 9:30pm Music Saves The Day Kid Chameleon, Cut Freqz, Venue: Media Mister Benn and Foe. Times: 10pm - 2am Venue: Bluu Thursday 18/01 Mondays Times: 9pm - late

London Winds Love Shack Supernight Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Style: Eighties, Nineties Rock Jam Session Tuned Venue: The Social Price: £12 Venue: Rock City Style: Rock Style: Indie, Alternative, Pop Price: £3 Times: 7pm Price: £4 / £5 Venue: Running Horse Venue: Rock City Times: 8pm - late Times: 9.30pm - 2am Price: Free Price: £3.60 - £4 (NUS) Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 10pm - 4am The Boy Least Likely To Friday 26/01 Audio Venue: The Rescue Rooms Venue: Snug Motherfunker Mirrorball Price: £8 AOR Price: £5 (NUS) Venue: The Cookie Club Venue: Snug Times: 6:30pm Style: Rock Times: 10pm - 4am Price: £1 before 11pm Price: £4 (NUS) Venue: The Rig Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 10pm – 4am Price: £3 b4 11pm Atomic Friday 19/01 Times: 10pm - 2am Style: Eighties, Nineties Open Mic Night Dogma Presents

Sweet Revenge Venue: The Cookie Club Venue: Golden Fleece Style: Hiphop, Breaks Dollop - Live Venue: The Rig Price: £4 (NUS) Price: Free Venue: Dogma Venue: The Social Price: £3 b4 11pm Times: 10.30pm - 3am Times: 8.30 - 12am Price: Varies Price: £4 Times: 10pm - 3am Come down at 8pm to secure a Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 11pm - 3am Salt 15min slot. With special featured Various live acts every week. Underground Railroad Style: Hiphop, House, Breaks artists each week at 10.30pm. Saggy Pants Presents Venue: The Social Venue: Dogma Jazz Night Venue: Maze Price: £6 Price: Free Venue: Variety Club Price: £4 Tuesdays Times: 8pm - 11pm Times: 7pm - 2am Price: Free Times: 9pm With support from Rose Kemp. Times: 7:30pm doors Robots Talk in Twos, Sidearm Pop.Your_Funk Live music, vegetarian food on and more tbc. Crash Stopmer! Venue: Bluu offer, an after show party and a Style: Indie, Alternative Venue: The Social Price: Free really great atmosphere. Full of Hot Renault Traffic Club Venue: Rock City Price: £3 Times: 9pm - late relaxed, friendly people all looking Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £3 (NUS) for a different kind of night out. Times: 10.30pm - 2am Times: 9.30pm - 2am

DJ Martin Nesbit and some very Crash is Nottingham’s longest Demo Saturdays Club NME special guests. running indie night. Venue: BluePrint Style: Indie, Rock, Alternative

Price: £5 Uberism Venue: Stealth Lois Open Mic Night Times: 9pm - 2am Venue: Media Price: £2 - £4 Venue: Maze Style: Acoustic Price: £8 before 12am £10 after Times: 10pm - 2am Price: £4 Venue: Running Horse Times: 10pm - 2am Times: 9pm doors Price: Free Style: DnB, Dubstep, Hiphop Vice Lois, The Henry Road and Times: 8.30pm - 12am Venue: Stealth Stealth V Rescued Style: Pop, House, RnB The Pretty Little Flowers. Price: £10 Venue: Stealth / Rescue Rooms Venue: Media Times: 10pm - 4am Price: £5 The Horseshoe Lounge Kombination Funk Times: 10pm - 2am Fresh, Brian G and more. Times: 5pm - 4am Style: Country Style: DnB, Techno, Vice invites you to indulge your Venue: Hotel Deux Venue: BluePrint musical and clubbing fantasies. Saturday Night live Cowboy Fun! Americana, Price: £5 Satisfy those saucy pleasures with Venue: Hotel Deux bluegrass and country. Times: 10pm - late a hedonistic night of untamed Saturday 27/01 Price: Free anthems. An eclectic mix of hot Times: 7pm Blah Blah Blah Spectrum B.E.A.T.S. pop to funky house and rnb. Style: Indie, Funk, Soul Saturday 20/01 Style: Breaks Rise and Shine / Funk U Venue: Muse Venue: The Social Spam Chop The Highness Sound System Style: Alternative, Nineties Price: Free Price: £5 Style: Dubstep, Breaks, Funk Style: Roots, Reggae, Dub Venue: The Cookie Club Times: 11pm - 4am Venue: Brass Monkey Venue: The Social Price: £5 (NUS) Wednesdays Price: Free Price: £5 Times: 10.30pm - 3am Hundred Reasons Times: 7pm Times: 11pm - 3am Venue: Rock City The Big Wednesday Scratch, breaks, beats and ‘ting. Stylus Price: £10 adv Style: Alternative, Rock, Pop Amen Venue: Snug Times: 7:30pm Venue: Cookie Club (The) Singer / Songwriters Night Venue: Rock City Price: £6 (NUS) Price: £2.50 (NUS) Style: Acoustic Price: £9 Times: 10pm - 4am Chorale For The Cauldrons Of Hell Times: 10.30pm - 2am Venue: Raffles Art Cafe Times: 7:30pm Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: Free Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. Not Your Essence Price: £9 (NUS) Wednesdays Student Night Times: 8.30pm - 12am Hero, The Decemberists Style: House, RnB Times: 8pm Style: Funk, Soul and Guillemots. Venue: Mode Venue: Dogma Live Thursdays Price: £5 Poppycock Price: Free Venue: Golden Fleece The Mighty Present: The Apples Venue: Moog Times: 9pm - 2am Price: Free Venue: Maze Distortion Price: Free Times: 8.30pm - 12am Price: £6 adv / £7 door Style: Rock, Alternative Times: 8pm - 12am Live music every week. Times: 9pm - late Venue: Rock City Mighty Funk Collective DJs. Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 9pm - 2.30am listings... weeklies / music / comedy / theatre /exhibitions

Friday 01/12 Friday 22/12 Friday 08/12 Tuesday 23/01 Friday 01/12

Just the Tonic - Christmas Aladdin To Kill A Mockingbird The Postcard Show 2006 Special Extreme Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Surface Gallery Venue: Royal Centre Price: £11 - £19 Price: £10 - £21.50 Price: Free Price: £17.50 The East Midlands’ biggest This most beloved and widely Times: Tue-Sat: 11am - 5pm Times: 7.30pm start pantomime, offering family read Pulitzer Prize winner tells the Anyone Can Make Art! Artists Daniel Kitson is compere for the entertainment from a star-studded extraordinary and unforgettable of all backgrounds and standing following acts: Ed Byrne, Noel cast. They have Claire Sweeney story of life in the American Deep have been invited to submit Fielding, Rob Rouse and as Aladdin, Christopher Biggins as South through the inquiring eyes entries under the single condition David O’Doherty. Widow Twankey, Basil Brush as the of a child. that all works must fit within Chief of Police and Mark Moraghan the prescribed dimensions of Just the Tonic has been lauded as as Abanazar. Brother and sisters growing up a 6”X 4” postcard. Other than Fred Eaglesmith (USA) the best comedy club outside of Runs Until: 21/01 during the 1930s depression have that, anything goes, and all work Venue: Maze London. It has a tradition of finding their idyllic childhood innocence submitted is exhibited. This Price: £9 adv new talent and booking quality shattered by the realisation that results in a show notable for its

Times: 7.30pm established talent. Johnny Vegas Saturday 9/12 bigotry and prejudice rule in their eclecticism and diversity, offering

A mix of passionate, funny and claims it’s the ‘best club in the small redneck town of Maycomb, an insight into the creative world Robin Hood: Babes In The Wood moving music, ridiculously funny country’. Alabama. When their father of Nottingham and beyond. Venue: Notts Arts Theatre comedy, honest tears and poignant Atticus, a liberal and principled Runs Until: 23/11 Price: £8.50 - £10 observations all at once. As one lawyer, defends a young black man Times: Various reviewer said, “It takes a jaded Wednesday 27/12 falsely accused of raping a white A pantomime for all the family to soul to leave a Fred Eaglesmith woman, the whole family become Saturday 09/12 LeftLion Pub Quiz jeer the bad and cheer the good show unaffected.” the target of gossip and abuse. Venue: Golden Fleece as Robin and his Merry Men battle Runs Until: 27/01 Our weekly pub quiz continues at to save the Babes from the evil Wednesday 06/12 the Fleece, come down and you Sheriff of Nottingham, with songs, could win a load of beer or a meal smiles, quips and capers. Friday 26/01 LeftLion Pub Quiz for your team. Runs Until: 07/12 Venue: Golden Fleece Big Time American Wrestling Our weekly pub quiz continues at Ken Dodd Happiness Show Venue: Royal Centre the Fleece, come down and you Venue: Royal Centre Sunday 10/12 Price: £8 - £10 could win a load of beer or a meal Price: £15 - £18 Times: 7.30pm Whenever for your team. Times: 7pm Nottingham Vegan Festival Venue: A chance to be entertained by the Tracey Beaker Venue: YMCA Fitness Centre Price: £6 - £8.50 (NUS) Jongleurs madcap funnyman. An evening Venue: Playhouse Price: Free Times: Various Venue: Jongleurs of tattifilarious fun is always Price: £14 / £12 Times: 11am - 5pm By Alan Ayckbourn - a comedy Price: Various guaranteed when Ken Dodd’s in You’ve read The Story of Tracy The East Midlands Vegan Festival time travel alternative to Times: 6:30pm town! Beaker by Children’s Laureate is fast becoming a regular event, pantomime. With Dave Williams, Anthony King, Jacqueline Wilson, now see the promoting a healthy diet that Runs Until: 16/12 Curtis Walker and Rex Boyd. show from playwright and BAFTA doesn’t compromise on taste.

Runs Until: 9/12 Sunday 31/12 nominated BBC TV series writer

Mary Morris. Whether you’re a committed Jongleurs Wednesday 13/12 Runs Until: 27/01 vegan or vegetarian or simply Venue: Jongleurs The Sound Collector interested in finding new ways to Monday 11/12 Price: £50 Venue: Playhouse make your healthy lifestyle more Times: 6:30pm Price: £4.50 / £5.50 Sunday 28/01 fun, come and see what’s on Jongleurs With JoJo Smith, Anthony King, Combines Roger McGough’s offer. It’s an informal affair with a Venue: Jongleurs Johnny Candon and Colin Cole. Halfway to Paradise delightful poetry with a gentle, wide range of stalls, activities and Price: Various Venue: Royal Centre funny story of friendship and information. Times: 6:30pm Price: £14.50 - £16.50 tolerance. With Brendan Riley, Matthew Tuesday 16/01 Times: 7.30pm Runs Until: 23/12 Hardy, Brian Higgins and Jeff Funhouse Comedy Club Saturday 06/01 Innocent. Runs Until: 15/12 Venue: Maze Monday 29/01 Chinese Paintings Price: £4 Friday 15/12 Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Times: 8pm Rocky Horror Show War of the Worlds Price: Free Venue: Royal Centre Wednesday 13/12 Venue: Nottingham Arena To celebrate Chinese New Year Price: £10 - £29 adv Price: £39.50 Sun Lin, Professor of Traditional Tuesday 30/01 Runs Until: 03/02 LeftLion Pub Quiz You’ve seen the movie, heard the Chinese Paintings at the University Venue: Golden Fleece Fun house Comedy club music and listened to the radio of Sichuan and contemporaries Our weekly pub quiz continues at Venue: Maze show now you can see The War Tuesday 30/01 from the Sichuan province exhibit the Fleece, come down and you Price: £4 Of The Worlds live at Nottingham their work. could win a load of beer or a meal Times: 8pm doors Arena. The musical version of Protein Dance Runs Until: 18/02 for your team. H G Well’s famous novel of alien Venue: Lakeside invasion. Price: £12 (NUS)

Theatre Times: 8pm Saturday 13/01 Thursday 14/12 With Big Sale, from Luca Friday 01/12 Gordon Cheung Tuesday 19/12 Silvestrini. It promises to be Fun House Comedy Club Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Cinderella an often hilarious, occasionally Venue: Grosvenor CBeebies Live Price: Free Venue: Playhouse horrifying, satire on celebrity Christmas Special featuring bubbly Venue: Nottingham Arena Epic in scale and content, Gordon Price: £7 - £17 and consumer culture. A sly mix Irish livewire Janice Phayre, Price: £12.50 - £20 (+bf) Cheung’s landscapes recall the Times: Various of high-energy performance, Manchester satirist Matt Seber, Times: 1:45pm and 4:45pm apocalyptic visions of John Martin dialogue, pop music, props Rodney Marques and comic Doomed to drudgery by her vicious and the timeless floating world and live video. creation Ivan Brackenbury, a stepsisters, Cinderella can only of traditional Chinese brush and Hospital Radio DJ. dream of escape and romance. Monday 22/01 ink landscapes brought bang up to date with psychedelic spray Playhouse favourites Jeffrey The Circus Of Horrors Tuesday 19/12 Exhibitions paint colours, graffiti and collaged Longmore and John Elkington are Venue: Royal Centre Financial Times listings. He paints ugly sister act Bella and Donna, Price: £14 - £22 Friday 01/12 Comedy’s X-Factor a flickering world of information in Kenneth Alan Taylor’s 23rd Times: 7:30pm overload, where virtual reality Venue: Maze Playhouse pantomime. Prepare The Circus of Horrors is back with a Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) merges with the urban landscape. for upbeat songs, high energy brand new show that will have you Runs Until: 25/02 Times: 8pm dancing, outrageous costumes and sitting on the edge of your seat. 12 acts battle it out with selected glitter aplenty. audience judges who use red and Runs Until: 20/01 The new show ‘The Evilution’ green cards to vote the comedians threatens to stimulate all the off. Lots of fun and laughter. senses, with new acts and new

Monday 04/12 shocks. The show still contains From Parchment to Pixels

Jongleurs crowd favourites but they are all Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Venue: Jongleurs intermingled with fakirs and death Price: Free Price: Various defying circus acts. The lives of individuals, Times: 6:30pm including stories of bigamy and With Raymond Mearns, Simon impersonation, are traced through

Bligh, Sinck and JoJo Smith. Tuesday 23/01 archival records. Rare books, maps

Runs Until: 23/12 and photographs describe places

at home and abroad. Evidence of To get listed on these pages, add Wednesday 20/12 early local advertising is illustrated your event to leftlion.co.uk. By in ephemeral papers. Chicago doing so we’ll include you in the Runs Until: 09/03 LeftLion Pub Quiz Venue: Royal Centre magazine, it’s completely free and

Venue: Golden Fleece A look back at vaudeville, a timely Kiss Me Kate simple to do. Use this form: Emerged Emerging Our weekly pub quiz continues at satire on fame, celebrity trials, Venue: Notts Arts Theatre Venue: Sandfield Centre leftlion.co.uk/add the Fleece, come down and you corruption, cheque book journalism Price: £6 - £10 Price: £5 could win a load of beer or a meal and the American legal system. Times: Various Times: 7.30p, Please note. We try to ensure that for your team. Runs Until: 16/12 A musical performance of A showcase of black and asian all events are correct at time of Shakespeare’s Taming of the artists work. print, but please check before you Shrew. set off to avoid disappointment. Runs Until: 27/01 This issue’s Nottsword is themed around stuff related to Christmas. The prize is the LeftLion Editors least favourite Christmas present and a load of those little toys that you get free in crackers. Congratulations to Osanna Williams from West Bridgford, who dared to enter last time around. She wins some CDs and a mystery prize purchased from LIDL.

CURRENT CLUES ACROSS: 2. Tchaikovsky’s ball buster (10) 4. Found by Reggie Dwight “in the wind” (6) 5. Labour vendor (8) 10. A squirrel’s lunch roasted on an open fire (9) 13. Aled Jones’ mate (7) 15. Mansfield Town mascot’s winter cousin (8) 16. What kids get for Christmas (4) 17. A piece of cloud dandruff (9) 19. Often hugged by hippies (4)

CURRENT CLUES DOWN: 1. The path to inebriation (8) 3. Commemorate good times c’mon! (9) 6. Born in a stable (5) 7. LeftLion’s monthly shindig at the Orange Tree (8) 8. Have a kiss under Viscum Album (9) 9. Tapering mass of ice formed by the freezing of dripping water (6) 11. 15 across with a red illumination (7) 12. Trigger Happy Dom’s surname (5) 13. Westwood would pimp this for Mr. Claus (6) 14. Robin Hood’s men after a few beers (5) 17. Often found lodged in chimneys (5) 18. Orlando’s middle earth crew (5)

The LeftLion Pub Quiz has returned to it’s rightful home at the Golden Fleece on Wednesday nights. Blessed be to all of those who take part in this most fiendish and devilish of intellectual contests. Those brave souls compete to win a gallon of beer or a meal for them and their friends in this gladiatorial battle of the minds and beer bellies. Sample some of the weekly delights below...

ANIMAL MAGIC for £50,000? THE MAVERICK ROUND: JAMES BOND 1. The main political parties in the USA are represented by 14. Which political party will be holding their 2007 spring 26. Robbie Williams ripped off the theme tune to which which two animals? conference in Nottingham? Bond film with the single Millennium? 2. What was the name of the pig in George Orwell’s 15. Which pub was voted ‘worst in Nottingham’ by LeftLion 27. Which Bond once appeared on Spitting Image as a block Animal Farm who was based on Josef Stalin? forum members? of wood with moving eyebrows? 3. What country made the TV show Pingu? BONUS: What theme pub was voted second worst? 28. Which eighties to early nineties gameshow host played 4. Who are the largest indigenous carnivores in the UK? James Bond on South African radio? 5. ‘A clowder’ is the description for a group of which FOOD AND DRINK 29. Which Bond had a bit part as an IRA terrorist in the final animals? 16. Which UK politician is believed to have invented Mr scene of The Long Good Friday? Whippy ice cream? 30. How many official movie Bonds have there been? TV CATCHPHRASES 17. If you were in New York and you ordered a Hero, what BONUS: Name them all in order. Which programmes have these theme tune lyrics been would you be eating? taken from? 18. Which brand of drink (the third most popular in the 6. “Ground floor perfumery, stationery and leather goods, world) was invented in Nazi Germany?

wigs and haberdashery kitchenware and food, going up.” 19. The seeds of which fruit contain a cyanide compound?

7. “He’s terrific, He’s magnific, he’s the greatest secret 20. Which dish was invented in Birmingham in the 1980s, Craig Brosnan, Dalton, Moore, Lazenby, Connery, bonus:

agent in the world.” and is named after the Hindu word for ‘bucket’? Six; 30. Brosnan; Pierce 29. Holness; Bob 28. Moore; Roger

MAVERICK ROUND: MAVERICK Sydney. ; 27. 27. ; Twice Live Only You

8. “Once upon a time there were three little girls who went 26.

to the Police Academy.” SPORT or Atlanta, Seoul, Montreal, City, Mexico Tokyo, Angeles,

9. “Fighting the system like two modern-day Robin Hoods.” 21. How many Premiership teams did Notts County knock Los Louis, St 25. Cycling; 24. Forest; Nottingham 23. Netball;

21. One (Middlesbrough); 22. 22. (Middlesbrough); One 21. SPORT: .

10. “Gotta move like a streetwise fighter, gotta face the fire out of this season’s League Cup? Balti 20. Apples;

of the tiger, gotta give your all to win. Ready or not, let the 22. Which sport requires players to wear letters instead of 19. Fanta; 18. sandwich; A 17. Thatcher; Margaret 16.

Conservatives; 15. Yates; bonus: Re-flex. Re-flex. bonus: Yates; 15. Conservatives;

challenge begin”. numbers? DRINK: & FOOD

23. Which local club was the first in the world to spell out 14. Platt; David 13. Ann’s; St 12. County; Notts 11.

NOTTINGHAMIA:

NOTTINGHAMIA its name on the seats of its stand? Gladiators. 10. Hazzard; of Dukes The 9.

11. Which local football club did Harold Shipman support? 24. Bo Hamburger, Djamolidine Abdoujaparov, Alexandre Angels; Charlie’s 8. Dangermouse; 7. served?; being you Are

6. 6. CATCHPHRASES: TV

12. Which estate in Nottingham will be undergoing a £46m Vinokourov and Jaan Kirsipuu are big names in which sport? Cats. 5. Badgers; 4. Switzerland; 3.

1. An elephant and a donkey; 2. Napoleon; Napoleon; 2. donkey; a and elephant An 1.

rebuilding project over the next five years? 25. Name two cities outside of Europe which have hosted MAGIC: ANIMAL 13. Which former manager recently sued Nottingham Forest the Summer Olympics. ANSWERS:

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 35 Bagels words: The Shedfixman illustration: Alasdair Couch

Bagels. Bagels, eh? Right. Anybody wanna tell me what When you eat the middle bit of meat, which has no resistance bagels is all about? Huh? Last week I saw Annabel Croft from the compacted bread, it pulls a big buttery shred out, in a South London Waitrose and she was daintily holding which slops down onto yer chin and makes you look a slob a bag of bagels between her thumb and middle finger twat in company. Or do you make a prat of yerself chopping and delicately dropping it onto the pile of healthy options and shaping the meat to fit around in a circle? in her cart. Once again, all the bagel questions I always What about when I fancy a bit of cheese and onion? ‘Hello, wanted to ask came bubbling to the surface, beginning Mr Greengrocer! An onion the size of a medium volleyball with ’What’s actually the point of a buying an oily, gooey, please, so I can sit and peel layers upon layers away until it’s un-sliceable chunk of internally stale cack, with twenty the same circumference as me bagel, then chop it in half and per cent missing from the centre?’ hope I poke the right size out the middle, so I don’t have to come back for another! Cheese? See above! Fried egg? Don’t If you went down the local bakery and asked for half a dozen even think about it, unless it’s for a prank. Salad? Go and do cobs and the baker then slapped them onto the counter and a jigsaw instead. Toast it? Doesn’t retain moisture, so it’s like then pulled out a piece of scaffold piping, chonked all the eating polystyrene. middles out and charged you the same price, his missus would have him sectioned… after you’d both chinned the So what can you do with the useless fucking things? nutter first, of course! Simple… just upgrade to pretzels instead, accompanied by a crate of Erdinger Weissbier. Solid crust, which keeps So, you’ve got the things home and you’ve managed to slice the inside soft enough to soak up the litres and it’s got one in half without too much of it all over the worktop; how crafty little granules of salt on the glaze, in case yer sodium do you butter it? Spin and swipe at the same time? Or do you levels drop on the way back to the Weissbier shop. Okay, put it on a circular table and walk around it? Twice for the technically more holes, but you don’t have to fart about other half? Or one swoop and hope for the best, so that the with fillings, these are scoff as seen. I recommend one large bit that you don’t see falling into the hole doesn’t get all over pretzel per three litres of beer. For all you hoodlums who’ve yer fingers when it warms up later? yet to sample the esoteric delights of this brand of beer, get yersens along to the ‘Fade/Hard to find Café’ halfway up The next dilemma is filling. Let’s say you want a slice of nice Mansfield Rd. It’s the only place for a hundred and thirty ham or beef. What do you do? One normal slice which fills in miles which has it on tap and make sure you get a slice of the hole when you put it back together, in which case, what’s lemon or orange in the top. Sorry… did I somehow manage to the point of the hole in the first place? drag the conversation round to beer again?

36 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 I am a circle or should I move away from her booty? I’d do it with a hammer. by Girlie My eyes are transfixed To Stab This Blubbery Mass as she dances those hips, is my one true intent. I am a circle sweat drips from my grip, I am not square my pint nearly slips. To land the killer blow Do not tell me to change the colour of my hair Anticipation so great my heartbeat’s racing, would be an easy enough affair. to fit in better with you and your share The girl I’m facing’s amazing. To penetrate with grinding certainty, of supposed friends I hasten to add, with her by my side the thinner the steel the better. I’d be glad to retire from the chasing. It’s necessary to watch you squirm, You all look alike So why am I waiting? you see. Act the same It’s easy, it seems, to keep a dream The last agonising death throes, no concern to me. Wear the same clothes and same old lame you never try and achieve. To Stab The Blubbery Mass, is no concern to me. words that hurt me and make me feel shame If you choose to go through with it, of living as me face the truth, you risk losing it. Shame on us! This might be amusing to you, but I’m losing it. by Emcee Killa Do not mould me The swagger and flair I normally move with has vanished into the air, I’m staggering useless. Embrace who I am The land slides like a bottleneck, for all the years man tried, In my mind mumbling lines, Like you I feel hurt and like the Lamb Plans lie in a cobbled mess, topical nonsense about the state of the times. I will not hate you or berate the same old sham A lot of stress from a settlers creatorship, exploit the Should I stroll up to her side, of who you are natives, offer some tropical juice or a wine? In turn create dictatorship, Can’t find my stride, can’t catch her eye, I am a circle On how you should live, the values held by a book of law, Eh, what’s that? Who’s this guy, It’s you that is square Crooked to think that every woman stays inferior, rolled up at her side? Do not try to change me, I cannot and will not bear Now erect a dominant breed, stripped equality, He must be her brother or gay mate. the same as you do in your lair Stay ever watching the seams of this economy, He can’t be her playmate. of wickedness So follow me, open your eyes into a rappers ideologies, The drink he passes, it must be a date rape. Proper speech hidden by authority, She thanks him with a kiss, Don’t try to change me Nothing can stop us, please study the autonomy that you and with his hand on her hip, Are you happy? No. possess, I watch the light of my life slowly eclipse. Then let me be Thoroughly, your eyes see different to another peeps, I turn away, oh shit. We’re not a force of a nature, and where was God when Still, she had kind of wonky lips. Bush started forcing labour, If I was a manatee And where was God when brown gave my uncles favours, by Jack Twatt And where is God now the jews are blowing up our Skin Cancer neighbours… If I was a manatee, I wouldn’t be for long, by Toking Jon as manatees are silly beasts that live in shallow ponds. It’s why I team up with Javelin and TQ, To watch our society and management we see through, If I was a manatee, no doubt I would be dead, Breathe, between your drink and feed… Damaging on each crew, the water of a oily world, as fishing boats run over me and bonk me on the head. And sleep, before you wake, to walk… Separated lives of the clued up boys and girls, If I was a manatee my life would be so dull, Unquestionable activities, You have to learn to destroy the pearls, but only for a short time due to propellers to the skull. beyond what we were taught. Take out material instincts, get it lifted, Blink, before you think to speak… So we can stand every person that we sit with, Then defecate and urinate, And stop banging on for your faith in your district, perspire and bleed… Fake Endings Its sometimes sad we reside in our place of birth, Looped picture books, teach us, to read… by Harry Wilding Stay ignorant to the life of our sacred earth, Compulsory, obligatory, pre-programmed mammal deeds… Amazing words being spoken, the greatest curse lifted, Dress to cover innocence… ...and as the vicar pulled the bloodstained knife out Its open to make it heard, Regress, to ask the told questions… Winnie the Pooh’s chest, he gently said to Snow White, Fixed with closest remaining verbs, explaining And stress - to grab your yoke pensions… with a shrug of his shoulders: “That’s the way the cookie We gotta make it work, Hard to find the wisdom, in a single one of these… crumbles.” THE END Now faith turns to fate, cos we’re hating the fact that safety So rub, and learn to rub it better… is shaken. ...and so, human beings became extinct and platypus-kind Run and turn, and friction master… took control of the Earth. THE END Break and mend, and cry, with laughter… Such appear the symptoms, of our soon forgot disease… An ode to Gary Megson The penguin, Dave the dog and little Dennis never spoke of Compiled, like keys of telephones… that night in the brothel again. THE END The same numbers, encased in bones… by Beast of the Bay And viewed, through ancient dialing codes… So the US of A saved the world, single handedly, again; god To dot the air, and slash out roads… You were wiggidy wack - don’t come back, bless them. THE END Tunnel the ground, quarry the ores… You managed like you were hooked on smack, This all; to make our monstrous miracle… I’m proud my club gave you the sack, Tony and George lived happily ever after. THE END These spreading layers, of melanoma homes… Now it’s time you gave the Derby job a crack.

James and Kim were suddenly startled by the nun, who To Stab the Blubbery Mass quietly appeared from the shadows, at the top of the bell An ode to Gary Megson tower; “I heard voices,” she said, flatly, which made Kim by Pandapad by MegamanX scream and stumble back, falling over the edge of the tower I’d do it with a compass, or, to her death. Never trusted you, you ginge, I’d do it with a pitchfork. “What was that all about?” James asked, a frown on his You turned my team into a minge. Stab the blubbery mass. face. THE END For one and all to come and shaft us, watch its hideous self pretence I’d have liked to hang you from the rafters. ooze out like so many drops George gave a cheesy smile and said to the children; “So, Now we’ve dumped you things are great, of blood and squirmy gunk. kids; the moral of the story is, if you can’t beat them... We’ve had results to celebrate. cheat.” THE END But you’ve not turned up in a job. I’d level it with a short, hard Does the whole world think that you’re a knob? slab of concrete. Dropped from above like a vengeful Flash Gordon, Her Movements Intent on destroying this squid like by Mr Jones affair. If you’d like to see your work published on this page then visit the creative writing forum at www.leftlion.co.uk/forum and Her movements as tunes play Crush the , Stab the matter post your work up there for all to see. Each issue we select the move me in crude ways. My sole intent, your soul to batter best of the submissions to be published in the magazine. Is it rude to make moves on this beauty I’d do it with a pitchfork,

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue14 37 Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (September 24 - October 23) Spray a bit of perfume on a light bulb and scent the room every time the light is turned It’s been a weird changing time recently, but you seem to have made decisions with your on. Spray a bit too much perfume on a light bulb, accidentally set your pad on fire and get heart and that’s all you can ask for in this life. Things that seem personal to you at the put in prison for arson. It’s true that a woman’s work is never done, but this is especially moment might fade in the coming months, but you are probably already expecting that. relevant if she is wearing pointy arrows on her clothing. You and a friend will always have Jim Beam though. Que será, será.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) Santa Claws is coming to town and he’s been telling everyone about how he’s going to cut You sleep like a kitten with a pleasing purr. Indeed, ever since you kissed the toad you you up. Whatever it was that you got up to with the elves down in Lapland last summer can consider yourself a fully-fledged princess. The new year will feature your best work has got him really pissed off! If you catch him coming down your chimney this year flee yet and provide a good time to complete your opus. Someone with the same initials as the your neighbourhood and never return. duke from the westerns really digs you!

Gemini (May 22 - June 22) Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) ‘Laws of man, are just pretend. They ain’t mine. Love so good, love so bad. It won’t die. Some In this season of goodwill make sure you don’t forget the real meaning of Christmas. talk too long, they know it all. I just smile and move on. Words ain’t free, like you and me. I Amongst a sea of goodwill, families getting together, time with your friends and sci-fi style don’t mind. Why’d you have to be so mean and cruel? The dogs are loose, I’m on to you.’ religious beliefs, there is an overwhelming sense of commercialism. Even Santa changed the way he dressed to keep his soft drinks endorsements. Cancer (June 23 - July 23) Critics say most conspiracy theories are false and lack enough verifiable evidence to be Capricorn (December 23 - January 19) taken seriously. They raise the question of what mechanisms might exist in popular culture Some people talk about you behind your back. They say that the lights are on, but that lead to their invention and subsequent uptake. But all the ones you’ve been told there’s nobody home. If this is true then have you completely forgotten about the Kyoto recently are true! The Pussycat Dolls said so… agreement? Does the hard work of governments forming global legislation mean nothing to you? Then again maybe I judge too quickly. It could all just be hot air. Leo (July 24 - August 23) Okay, so I did something stupid the other week. It just wasn’t kosher to be seen jumping Aquarius (January 20 - February 19) up and down with that inflatable doll in front of your entire family and I regret it. Especially As Mr Aesop once told us you can’t mess with nature. A scorpion asks a frog to carry as it was dressed entirely in your clothes. Just remember, however that I never apologise. him across a river. The frog is afraid to be stung, but the scorpion reassures him that I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am. I hope you don’t feel like I’ve let you down. they would both die if that happened. The frog then agrees, but in mid-river he gets stung nevertheless and both die. What does this teach us? Never trust an Arachnid with pincers... Virgo (August 24 - September 23) Anāpānasati (Pali), meaning mindfulness of breathing, is a basic form of meditation Pisces (February 20 - March 20) taught by the Buddha. According to this teaching as presented in the Anāpānasati Sutta, Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You claimed you were going to go out and conquer practicing this form of meditation as a part of the Noble Eightfold Path leads to the the world. You once called me a warped, frustrated, old man! Who are you but a warped, removalremoval of all defilements and finally to the attainment of nibbāna (nirvana).(nirvana). That’s wherewhere frustratedfrustrated young man, crawling in herehere on your hands and knees begging for help? No KurtKurt went wrong.wrong. securities, no stocks, no bonds. Nothin’Nothin’ but a miserable little $500 equity in a life insurance policy.policy. You’reYou’re worthworth moremore dead than alive!

local pantomime head-to-head

ALADDIN CINDERELLA

Occupation: Scrubber Occupation: Trickster Nemeses: Ugly sisters Nemeses: Evil sorcerer Transport: Pumpkin Transport: Magic carpet Has-beens in cast: 3 Has-beens in cast: 0 “It’s behind you” count: 135 “It’s behind you” count: 160

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