GET’ GOING Briton? an Overview of the Growing Get Crisis by RABBI AVI B Y ESTHER SHAFRAN SCHONFELD, ESQ

Celebrate more than four decades of community service with Sh’or Yoshuv Institute on December 5, 2009 $ See Page 64 1.00 WWW.5TJT.COM VOL. 10 NO. 8 3 KISLEV 5770 ,usku, ,arp NOVEMBER 20, 2009

INSIDE FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK HIKIND: OBAMA IS OBSTACLE TO PEACE

‘Buycott’ Campaigns BY LARRY GORDON Samuel Sokol 28 MindBiz ONE MAN, TWO VOTES Esther Mann, LMSW 31 Harvey Schwartz, a tax lawyer New Guys On The Block and longtime Woodmere resi- Hannah Reich Berman 35 dent, made aliyah about two Mind/Body Connection years ago, after a long period of Rachael E. Schindler, MS 62 thought and deliberation over making the change. It quickly became clear that for Harvey, an What Is Zionism? P h o t Dr. Alex Grobman 73 intelligent and accomplished o B y H

individual, this would not be e s h y

just a change of address. R u b i n

Harvey is the founder and s t e i prime moving force behind the n relatively new American Israeli NYS Assemblyman Dov Hikind (D., Borough Park) on a solidarity mission in Israel this week laying the cornerstone at the dedication of the second Action Coalition. Affiliated with phase of development of the Nof Tzion neighborhood in Jerusalem. President Obama has referred to construction in this area of the capital Continued on Page 5 Harvey Schwartz city as being unhelpful to the peace process. See Page 60 Letters to the Editor HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE JNF Defends Its Land of Jordan, the United Nations Standing Before Heroes Dear Editor, confiscated a large parcel of Cantor Helfgott at Park East. The claims printed in your land in northern Jerusalem, See Page 56 BY LARRY GORDON front-page article “This Land Is owned by JNF, and built the Our Land” in the November 13 Kalandia Refugee Camp on the Just two days after last year’s issue, regarding JNF, require a land. JNF had no ability to stop international conference of response. Mr. Arieh King of the this illegal confiscation by the sh’lichim — emissaries of Israel Land Fund is quoted as UN and subsequent construc- Chabad-Lubavitch around the the source for the claim that the tion, and never accepted this globe — the world was stunned Jewish National Fund “has seizure of its land. by the brutal murder in allowed Arab homes to be ille- In 1967, after the Six Day War, Mumbai, India of two sh’lichim, gally constructed on land when Israel asserted control Gavriel and Rivka Holtzberg, of owned by JNF.” over this property, JNF went to blessed memory. Just as stun- This is total misrepresenta- the Israeli courts and sought to ning was the unceremonious tion of the facts. In 1948, when evict the residents of the Kalan- fashion in which their then two- many parcels of land owned by the JNF fell under the control Continued on Page 20 Continued on Page 12 Gabi and Rivka Holzberg, z’l 9/11 Jerusalem dedication. See Page 24 Kulanu Meets The Mayor Who Is A ‘GET’ GOING Briton? An Overview Of The Growing Get Crisis BY RABBI AVI B Y ESTHER SHAFRAN SCHONFELD, ESQ.

To the delight of Jew-haters When a man divorces his first everywhere, a British court has wife, even the Altar sheds tears. in effect deemed Judaism a — Gittin 90b racist religion. As a result, the From the perspective of blogosphere swarmed with Jewish law, marriage is a con- invective about how the Jews tractual relationship between a Happy 105th. had been exposed as imposing, husband and a wife. It is nei- See Page 37 in the words of one jolly blog- ther a creature of the State nor ger, an “ethnic purity test.” a mandate of the rabbinate. A What happened is that the Jewish divorce is the termina- CANDLE LIGHTING parents of a boy whose father is tion of the contractual rela- Nov. 20 – 4:15 PM Students of Kulanu Torah Academy met recently with Cedarhurst Mayor Jewish but whose mother tionship between a husband Nov. 27 – 4:11 PM Andrew Parise to make some suggestions about improved traffic safety near the new Kulanu school building. See Page 57 Continued on Page 19 Continued on Page 16 COLOR

2 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 3 4 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES FROM THE EDITOR Continued from Front Cover the National Council of Young Israel, over the coming months and years the AIAC can quite possibly play a leading role in the direction that U.S.–Israel relations will ultimately go. The AIAC is doing many things to help elucidate issues that affect the vital international relations between the two countries. What is especially making elected officials here in the states take a second look is the group’s work over the last year to rally Americans living in Israel to vote in U.S. elections in which they are legally entitled to participate. “Today there are 250,000 American citizens living in Israel, many with dual citizenship,” Mr. Schwartz says. “That means they are allowed to participate in the electoral process in both Israel and the U.S.” As one can easily surmise, people who pick up and make the move to Israel are usually citizens who are politically savvy and up on the issues of the day. It’s a group with immense potential for wielding political power in U.S. elections on multiple levels. Last year, in the U.S. presidential election, AIAC was instrumental in facilitating and encouraging over 5,000 American citizens residing in Israel to cast their votes by absentee ballot. If you can recall the very close election in 2000 between George Bush and Al Gore (in which a winner was proclaimed by Supreme Court decision), then you can share the vision of the role this unique organization can play in the future of Israel–U.S. relations. Combine the work of this new group with the fact that Barack Obama has a 6% favorable rating in Israeli public-opinion polls, and we may be looking at a formidable electoral force residing in Israel, almost 6,000 miles away. Look ahead less than two years from now, and it’s not impossible that a scenario unfolds where Mr. Obama—in a close election— would have to make Jerusalem a campaign stop. “For us right now, the important matter is keeping the issues visible that affect all of us,” said Mr. Schwartz. He added that the effort to marshal the group into a political force will be methodical and will gain momentum as time elapses. Mr. Schwartz was in Washington, DC last week with the Jerusalem Conference, where he shared some of his group’s work with a number of congressmen and senators. Mr. Schwartz recalled in particular a meeting with Congressman Chris Smith of New Jersey, to whom he

Continued on Page 10 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 5 6 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 7 FEATURES

Around The Five Towns 37 P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 516-984-0079 [email protected] Aliyah Chronicle [email protected] Shmuel Katz 58 LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON Publisher/Editor Managing Editor Classified Ads 70 YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON Sales Managers The Dish CHANA ROCHEL ROSS Elke Probkevitz 32 Editorial Assistant SIDI BARON Insights On The Torah YAKOV SERLE R’ Ben Tzion Shafier 41 Sales Representatives SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC The Legendary . . . Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor . . . Danny O’Doul 26 CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Hannah Reich Berman, Anessa V. Cohen, Luach 21 Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, Toby Klein Greenwald, Rabbi Yair Hoffman, Miriam Horowitz, Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky, Shmuel Katz, MindBiz Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann, Rochelle Miller, Esther Mann, LMSW 31 Martin Mushell, Elke Probkevitz, Naomi Ross, Rachael Schindler, Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow, Mother’s Musings Rabbi Avi Shafran, Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher Phyllis J. Lubin 22 DOV GORDON, ELISHEVA ELEFANT Staff Graphic Artists Puzzle (Solution) IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS Yoni Glatt 67 Staff Photographers FRANKEL & CO. Real Estate Design & Production Anessa V. Cohen 42 TALIYE CORLEY Art Director Strategies For Success SARAH GREENBAUM Kenneth J. Levin, LCSW 66 Assistant Art Director The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly news- That’s The Way It Is! paper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not Hannah Reich Berman 35 responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times. Travel 35-37

8 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 9 FROM THE EDITOR exercising the political likes or prefer- vision of a left-leaning liberal America seri- income in taxes to the two jurisdictions. Continued from Page 5 ences of the AIAC organization. It is sim- ously hampered were he to lose the very The tax rate for above-average-income ply the democratic process on display in wide margin that he now enjoys in earners in the U.S. is in the 35% range, expressed concern about issues such as its purest form. No matter who the elect- Congress. (Although one would have while Israelis are customarily taxed at a Jerusalem and the danger of Palestinian ed official is today, and regardless of the thought that, operating with the 50% rate. There are numerous tax benefits statehood. “Congressman Smith asked level of service, he or she is always watch- Democratic majorities he currently possess- for new olim, including a tax exemption me why these issues were never present- ing the polls, trying to see how the people es, effectuating his new vision of America’s for the first ten years on income (including ed in the fashion that we presented them feel about issues and which way the future would be a simple process. It has interest and pensions) earned outside the to him last week,” Harvey Schwartz said. experts say they are going to vote the instead been anything but simple.) country. Beyond that, there are certainly “I explained to him that the difference is next time their turn comes around. For now, Harvey Schwartz and his points at which it can get complicated. that we do not only speak English, we This is just part of the reason why the associates in Israel are busy building an One of the more interesting recent dis- speak American.” Obama administration hit the ground important constituency, one that officials coveries by AICA was that the website of And speaking American to elected offi- running on Arab-Israel peace, health care, in the U.S. will find difficult to ignore. the U.S. Consulate in Jerusalem was cials is the language of votes. Schwartz and so on immediately after taking office American politicians have been known to entirely oriented to the local Palestinian has the ability there in Israel to galvanize ten months ago. There was no time to do political backflips for blocs of just a Arab population, with not even a scant Americans who maintain their U.S. citi- waste; dawdling for too long would mean few thousand votes. What a force it will message about anything Jewish or Israeli. zenship even after becoming Israeli citi- they would come flush up against the be when, over the next year, AIAC will be Essentially what AIAC found was that zens. The ability to legally maintain dual next election season, which takes prece- able to effectively deliver upward of the U.S. had made a decision that the con- citizenship can be used for much more dence over any policy changes. And as you 20,000 votes in a national election. sulate, which is located right off King than just receiving your Social Security saw in this off-year election, wherever An additional and powerful feature of George Street in the center of Jerusalem, payments once you reach retirement age. there was a race of some political impor- AICA is that Americans in Israel do not live was going to serve as a de facto U.S. Mr. Schwartz explained that though the tance, the Democrats were set back. in a vacuum. They have extensive families Consul to what the Obama administra- issues may be the same, when it is couched Harvey Schwartz understands this and friends here in the states, whose votes tion hopes will be the capital city of the in certain terms and communicated from well, and he is in the process of organiz- they may be able to influence on issues state of Palestine. “This discovery is an American perspective rather than from ing one of the greatest forces in electoral that potentially impact on Israel. beyond belief,” Mr. Schwartz said. “It is as an exclusively Israeli one, it is sometimes politics—a bloc vote. Of course, the The flip side of this coin also dramati- if the U.S. has decided to totally deny the understood more effectively. potentially significant American vote cally affects the Israeli electorate, bring- existence of Israel. We do not believe that The potency of AIAC is not something coming out of Israel is by no means fully ing pressure to bear on members of the this policy is in accordance with the will that can be applied only to a national homogeneous. Israelis—even Americans Knesset as well as those seeking a seat of the American people.” presidential race, Schwartz explained. in Israel—probably disagree on just as there in the future. “This blatant situation cannot be “American aliyah to Israel naturally many issues as they agree on. They differ Maintaining dual citizenship and the allowed to be swept under the rug,” emanates from areas of the country on the nature and aspect of the ability to play a role in two of the world’s Schwartz added. “It has to be brought to the where there is the highest concentration American–Israel relationship which most outstanding democracies comes attention of the American people and our of Jews,” he said. So it’s not just a matter seems to continuously be defining and with a price, however. As Mr. Schwartz, elected officials.” And that’s what Harvey reserved for presidential politics. There redefining itself. who is a tax attorney, explained, whether Schwartz and the growing constituency of are many senatorial and congressional The American political situation as it your income is from the U.S. or Israel, so the American Israeli Action Coalition is races where former local residents now affects Middle East policy is at a critical long as you are a citizen of both countries doing. To learn more about this vital organ- living in Israel can be organized to cast juncture. The next election, in 2010, when you have tax liabilities in both—although ization, go to www.AIACoalition.org. O their votes and make an important differ- all of the Congress and many Senate seats there are tax treaties between the two ence in those elections. will be up for reelection, will be a crucial countries, so people with this status do Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at Make no mistake; this is not about one. President Obama would have his not end up paying 85 percent of their [email protected].

10 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 11 BAGEL STORE The reality of Chabad is that it is a short history of the trials and tribulations the ambitious project of sending out his Continued from Front Cover wonderful assortment of things. For faced by the Friediker Rebbe, as well as emissaries to minister to the Jewish com- some, Chabad represents everything that his son-in-law, Rabbi Menachem Mendel munities that were in crisis after staring year-old son, Moshele, was rescued by his is good and right about the modern Schneerson, in building their internation- down possible annihilation. Soon after nanny, who simply rushed out a rear door world in these difficult and challenging al empire, beginning with the Friediker the Rebbe settled in New York he sent out to safety while inside chaos reigned and times. To a number of people it is exact- Rebbe’s arrival on these shores in 1940. his first sh’lichim to Morocco. Slowly and wanton murder was committed. ly the opposite. And for others it is a “The first night the Rebbe was here in in a methodical fashion, the sh’lichim I had the privilege earlier this week of home base that can always be relied New York, he met with a delegation of were sent out to simply be there for Jews attending the sh’lichim dinner in upon and turned into a temporary home New York communal leaders who came to who may have been a bit misguided and Brooklyn, as one of 5,000 (yes, five thou- when you are out there on business or greet him at a hotel he was staying at in perhaps even spiritually adrift. sand) guests in attendance. This is a very spiritually drifting your way through New York City,” Dr. Luchins related. The And over the last 70 years, it is remark- special annual event that brings the men what you were hoping would be one of Jewish leaders in New York knew what able how that enterprise of simply being together for five days of recharging their those exotic vacations. the Friediker Rebbe’s plan was, Luchins out there to serve Jews—in far-flung spiritual batteries, with workshops on Indeed, Chabad is so many things to so said, and they essentially came to tell him places and in urban centers alike—has techniques and various topics related to many different people, and that’s part of that his plan would not work in the New changed. The prognostication after the the sh’liach’s endeavor. (The women on its magic and intrigue. The sh’lichim ban- World, here in the United States. Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, sh’lichus have a separate but similar con- quet dinner is the apex of a long week- “They told the Rebbe that America passed away 15 years ago—that Chabad clave later in the year.) The event feted end, and though it requires a significant takes great men and makes them small,” had seen its best days and that without the work of all these young men and commitment of time—about five Dr. Luchins said. “They told him that if his personal leadership the movement women, along with their families, for the hours—it places the facts and history of the Rebbe thinks he can open a network would dwindle and dissolve—was just unstinting self-sacrifice that is a part of Chabad and the Rebbeim in a usually neg- of Jewish educational institutions here, wrong. The legacy of the Rebbe’s leader- everyday life for them, many in the far lected but vitally important context. he is definitely headed for catastrophic ship continues to inspire and energize reaches of G-d’s vast and awesome Earth. Part of the evening was dedicated to failure.” The Rebbe later told an aide that young people to relocate into the hinter- I sat mostly silent through a roller- saluting the fashion in which Chabad his first nights in America were sleepless, lands and undertake the mission that the coaster ride of emotional highs and lows, was able to establish itself on these as he pondered the ominous warnings Rebbe committed himself to. That is, never knowing where the next turn shores after the devastation of European from people who understood the nature bringing Jews closer to their inner selves would take us. Commemorations of the Jewry during World War II. The previous and attitude of Jews in America in 1940. and to the study of Torah and the per- tragic loss of the young Holtzberg couple Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok After careful thought and introspec- formance of mitzvos. was the emotional climax of Sunday Schneerson—known to Chassidim as the tion, the Rebbe declared to those around Dr. Luchins did a great deal of remi- night’s banquet. Those tragic events drew “Friediker Rebbe”—visited the U.S. in 1929 him that “America iz nisht andersh,” that niscing for the thousands gathered. He the young men and women in disparate as a prelude to what would become his America is no different than any place talked about his family’s personal parts of the planet closer together, as they desperate choice to settle here in 1940. It else in the world, and that the study of involvement with Chabad, spanning a are out there building their families and wasn’t necessarily a calm or simple Torah and a life dedicated to spreading period of 160 years. He spoke in detail drawing Jews who have been disconnect- choice, but rather one arrived at after flee- Torah and mitzvos can be successful here, about the meetings between the Rebbe, ed and estranged from Yiddishkeit into ing to save his life and the lives of his just as it had been over the generations in Senator Moynihan, and himself, most the warmth of their homes and closer to family and others from the Nazi inferno. cities and communities in Europe. For a often on the matter of Soviet Jews. The the essence of who they are. It was One of the featured speakers at the while, the future of Yiddishkeit in Rebbe, he said, had met with Dr. Luchins’s announced that during the last year, since dinner, Dr. David Luchins, a professor at America looked shaky and tenuous. The father, a professor of psychology, numer- the murders in Mumbai, over 500 chil- Touro College and a former senior advis- prognosis from many corners was not ous times and used him as an agent when dren were born to sh’lichim who gave the er to the late Senator Daniel Patrick positive or encouraging. name Gavriel or Rivka to their newborns. Moynihan, enthralled the guests with a But the Rebbe persevered and began Continued on Page 14

12 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 13 BAGEL STORE and for the oppression of Jews in the Uzbekistan, 1 in Lithuania, 3 in Poland, 1 in Chabad House anywhere in the world Continued from Page 12 USSR. The Rebbe called Senator Serbia, 22 in Austria, 235 in France, and 1 in had to be closed because of the global Moynihan—who had extensive involve- Denmark, just to name a few locations. economic downturn difficulties. And he traveled to international educational ment in trying to pressure the Soviets to Some of the new locations over the last finally there was the keynote speaker, forums that were sometimes held in the release Jews who wanted to leave—along several years include 1 Lubavitcher family Rabbi Yudie Shem Tov of Yardley, Soviet Union. with Dr. Luchins. in Norway, 2 in Ireland, 1 in Denmark, 1 in Pennsylvania, who talked about the emo- On one particular mission, the Rebbe The Rebbe said that Gorbachev was a the Congo, and 2 in New Zealand. In the tional highs and lows, the triumphs and summoned the senior Professor Luchins man who was looking for reciprocity, and Americas, there are 92 families in disappointments of a sh’liach. to his office at 770 Eastern Parkway for that we do not want to miss an opportu- Argentina, 80 in Brazil, 2 in Panama, 1 in He talked about how he encountered a him to take a suitcase to Russia on his nity or be satisfied with just a few people the Dominican Republic, 1 in Martinique, local young man, Michael Levin, in a group planned 12-day trip. “In the suitcase you being released. The Senator and Dr. 1 in Puerto Rico, and 1 in St. Martin. for teenagers. The rabbi did not know it at will find 14 pairs of tefillin, one for each Luchins asked the Rebbe what he recom- The number of sh’lichim families in the time, but Michael had taken great inspi- day of your trip,” the Rebbe said. mended, to which he responded: “If you some other locations around the world ration from their talks. Michael, only 19 Professor Luchins interjected, explaining want everyone out now, cancel the rally.” include 665 in Israel, 108 in Australia, and years old, volunteered for the Israeli army to the Rebbe that the trip was only for 12 23 in Italy. There are also countless num- and was killed in the Second Lebanon War days. “Two of the pairs are Rabbeinu bers of families on sh’lichus in just about in 2006. Rabbi Shem Tov introduced Tam,” said the Rebbe. every state in the U.S. and in Canada too. Michael’s father to the gathering. Five thou- Near to the Rebbe’s heart was the During the last year, The sh’lichim, as one could see by just sand men stood and applauded for Mr. plight of Soviet Jewry during the dark looking around this colossal room at the Levin’s son, a hero of Israel. days of Communist rule. Through his since the murders in dinner, are a special breed, infused with a “I am standing tonight before heroes,” emissaries and businesspeople traveling spirit that daily demonstrates a unique Dr. David Luchins said in his tribute to to the USSR, the Rebbe tried everything Mumbai, over 500 capability to break through the natural the Chabad emissaries. And indeed we he could to keep the embers of Torah and restrictions that seem to govern most of remembered Gabi and Rivka Holtzberg, the Jewish way of life aglow. It was an children were born to our lives. A sh’liach has a combination of the heroes who gave so much—including awful struggle, with the path to freedom courage, fortitude, and faith. As Rabbi Aryeh their very lives—and who touched so littered with much dejection and disap- sh’lichim who gave the Sufrin, a sh’liach in England, said apropos of many people in so many extraordinary pointment for everyone involved. this week’s Torah portion, a successful sh’li- ways. Both Gabi’s and Rivka’s fathers were But then, in 1985, as Mikhail Gorbachev name Gavriel or Rivka. ach is a combination of Yaakov and Eisav. present as well, and they too were singled ascended to power, the Rebbe felt that Yes, the sh’liach of the Rebbe harbors the out for their endurance and the hope for something was about to change. The kindness and goodness as well as the Torah the future that they represent in their rumor was that after many years of a scholarship of Yaakov. But it is also impera- equanimity. This night was also a tribute tightly clad iron curtain, there was a pos- After much discussion and some appre- tive for him to be like Eisav, an “ish sadeh,” to Moshele Holtzberg, now an orphan for sibility that Gorbachev was ready for hension, that year’s Solidarity Sunday a man of the field, daily interfacing with the a year and this week celebrating his upsh- change and that Jewish emigration might was canceled. Shortly thereafter, the reality of the outside world. The challenge, erin and third birthday. Rabbi Kotklarsky be able to restart in earnest. That spring, floodgates were opened, and ultimately he said, is to infuse the necessary work in said that he was certain that Moshe’s par- the large annual Solidarity Sunday for over one million Jews would leave the the field with the qualities of Yaakov Avinu. ents were beaming and proud. How Soviet Jewry was planned to take place in Soviet Union and arrive in Israel, and the In the year since the previous sh’lichim could they not be—Moshe Holtzberg is a front of the United Nations. The annual Communist regime would crumble. convention, there was much to be proud future hero. O event, which usually attracted upwards Today there are 138 Chabad families on of, as a great deal had been accomplished. of 100,000 people, was meant to embar- sh’lichus in Russia, and another 145 in the The director of the sh’lichim office, Rabbi Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at rass the Soviets for the lack of freedom Ukraine. There are 6 in Hungary, 4 in Moshe Kotklarsky, said that not one [email protected].

14 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 15 ‘Get’ Going the tireless efforts of grassroots organiza- a get, she is considered an adulterer and hazmanos, religious summonses, the rab- Continued from Front Cover tions who are dedicated to alleviating the children of the relationship are con- binical court can issue a seiruv, a religious this problem. These organizations work sidered mamzerim (the offspring of an order of contempt, which, in essence, and a wife. As the marriage ceremony closely with the parties, rabbis, communi- incestuous or adulterous relationship). authorizes the community to apply legal establishes a contractual relationship ty volunteers, attorneys, and mental- This is not the case for the husband or forms of pressure on the recalcitrant between the husband and wife, accord- health professionals to mediate divorce his offspring. The absence of a get, how- spouse. However, many spouses, despite ing to halachah, only they themselves cases and ensure that a get is not used as ever, can likewise pose serious hardships the pressure of the seiruv, remain stead- can terminate that relationship. a means of extortion. for a man. Nevertheless, when this issue fast in their refusal to cooperate in the Furthermore, when Jewish couples As the civil divorce rate continues to arises, a man can be permitted to remarry process, and some communities choose divorce, they must contend with both grow, so does the get crisis. Sadly, over the without his wife’s consent, upon the con- to ignore valid seiruvim. civil law and Jewish law. (This is not the past few years I have personally wit- sent of 100 rabbis, referred to as a “hetter In Israel, the rabbinical courts are case in Israel, where the rabbinical court nessed an increase in cases involving the me’ah rabbanim.” (There are stringent empowered by secular law to deal with has jurisdiction over marriage and refusal of one party to willingly partici- grounds for this procedure, which is both these issues. Thus, if a husband is ordered divorce.) pate in the get process. Most disturbingly, costly and time-consuming.) A wife has by a beis din to give his wife a divorce and Under civil law, if a marriage breaks I have seen a dramatic increase in the no such remedy. he refuses, he can be held in contempt down, a spouse can bring an action for number of young married couples who Unfortunately, the get process has and placed in prison or terminated from divorce in a court of law. If the proper choose to end their marriage rather than been subject to abuse, whereby the get is his job until he complies. grounds for divorce exist, a civil court will expend the time and effort necessary to used as a bargaining chip—a weapon to With nowhere else to turn, the Jewish grant a divorce. But, under Jewish law, the repair the damage to the relationship. extract something from the other party in community relies heavily on grassroots couple is still considered married, since Unfortunately, many of these married exchange for cooperation in the process Jewish organizations whose sole mis- Jewish law requires that the husband give couples have become complacent with or to seek a benefit one is not entitled to. sions are to help ensure that a get takes his wife a religious divorce, a get, in order regard to divorce, accepting it as the first As a family-law practitioner, I have wit- place in divorce cases. They act in the to effectuate the divorce. recourse when marital difficulties arise, nessed a party refuse to participate in the capacity of mediators in their attempts to Every divorce, whether civil or reli- instead of seeking a solution that might get process as an act of sheer malice. In resolve the parties’ matrimonial dispute. gious, places a tremendous emotional allow the marriage to remain intact. one egregious case, the husband swore he ORA, a not-for-profit organization that strain upon the affected parties. This bur- To make matters worse, I have seen an would not give his wife a get until she operates under the guidance of Rabbi den can be exacerbated in Orthodox increase in situations where one party was past child-bearing age. Hershel Schachter, is extremely helpful in Jewish divorce cases, where the intrica- refuses to participate in the get process, While the subject of much debate, raising awareness and assisting spouses cies surrounding the laws of gittin, the citing a myriad of excuses. These married which is outside the scope of this article, in facilitating the get process. granting of a Jewish divorce, often create couples come from all walks of life, all some forms of pressure have been deter- ORA, which was founded seven years an added anxiety. Jewish law requires socioeconomic backgrounds, and a wide mined to be halachically permissible ago, recently assisted in the resolution of that a husband grant his wife a get of his variety of religious backgrounds. To our when persuading a non-cooperative its 120th case and is currently working on own free will and that she willingly chagrin, no one is immune. spouse to participate in the get process. 60 open cases throughout North America, receive it. Absent her husband’s willing- The failure to secure a get can have Since we must abide by the criminal and Europe, and Israel, according to Jeremy ness to give her a get, the wife remains an serious consequences for both the hus- civil laws of the state in which we each Stern, the director of case management. agunah, a chained woman. (It should be band and wife. Without a get, a woman is reside, the ability of a Jew or beis din to New York leads the nation in its aware- noted that it is common during a contest- unable to remarry and will never be able apply force on a spouse who refuses to ness of the get crisis, as evidenced by its ed divorce litigation for the get to take to share the emotional support or finan- cooperate with the get process is further 1983 passage of the “Get Law.” The New place at the time the settlement agree- cial assistance of a husband or the delight limited. York legislature enacted Section 253 of ment is executed.) of future children. Should a woman If a spouse refuses to appear before a Therefore, it is important to recognize choose to remarry without the benefit of beis din following the issuance of several Continued on Page 18

16 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 17 ‘Get’ Going that the Get Law is coercive and therefore since the statute itself has no mention of despite religious leaders’ attempts to find Continued from Page 16 not available because the get must be vol- the word “get.” In fact, the term “barrier to halachic avenues to facilitate the obtain- untarily given: “The Court is not requiring remarriage,” as defined in the law, ing of a get, the scope of the crisis contin- the Domestic Relations Law, which the husband to deliver a get; rather the “includes, without limitation, any reli- ues to grow, along with the divorce rate. denies a civil divorce to any party who Court is economically distributing prop- gious or conscientious restraint or inhibi- It is the responsibility of our community refuses to remove barriers to the other erty and determining maintenance in tion, of which the party required to make as a whole to ensure that no party is per- party’s remarriage.1 conformity with the statutory scheme the verified statement is aware.”5 Its pur- mitted to chain his or her spouse to a The Get Law, as originally enacted, established by the legislature by the pose, however, as set forth in the legisla- failed marriage. Only through our persist- applied only to the party seeking the Domestic Relations Law…” tive history, “is to curb what has been ence in addressing this issue through divorce (the plaintiff), as it required only described as the withholding of Jewish open dialogue and support can we hope the plaintiff to remove all barriers to the religious divorces … by spouses acting out to ensure that future generations will not other’s remarriage. Thus, the 1983 Get Law of vindictiveness or applying economic endure the same fate suffered by many was not helpful where the recalcitrant The law allows the coercion.”6 women and men in our society today. O party was the defendant in the divorce So, an argument can be made that the action. In 1992, the legislature made a sec- judge to consider the Get Law has a secular nature, but an argu- Esther Schonfeld, Esq., is a partner in the law firm of Schonfeld & Goldring, LLP, with offices ond attempt to alleviate the problem, fact that a spouse ment can also be made that its purpose is located at 112 Spruce Street, Suite A, Cedarhurst, when it amended the laws that govern purely religious. It is interesting to note New York. The law firm represents clients in the property distribution in divorce proceed- that when the Get Law was signed, five boroughs of New York City and in Nassau, refuses to remove Suffolk, Westchester, and Rockland counties in all ings (referred to as “equitable distribu- Governor Cuomo remarked, “If there is a aspects of family and matrimonial law, with tion”) and the laws relating to mainte- barriers to remarriage as constitutional impediment, I am sure our resolution through litigation, mediation, and collaborative law. She can be reached at 516-569- nance (formerly referred to as “alimony”), excellent court will make that clear in 5001. which apply to both the plaintiff and the a factor in distributing due time.”7 Only time will tell what lies defendant. In essence, the law allows the ahead for the Get Law. NOTES marital assets. 1. See N.Y. Domestic Relations Law, Section 253: judge to consider the fact that a spouse As a matrimonial attorney whose prac- “No final judgment or divorce shall thereafter be refuses to remove barriers to remarriage tice focuses heavily on the Orthodox entered unless the plaintiff shall have filed and served a sworn statement: (i) that, to the best of as a factor in distributing marital assets community, I have seen firsthand the suc- his or her knowledge, he or she has, prior to the and awarding or denying a request for The Get Law represents the legisla- cessful results of the efforts of organiza- entry of such final judgment, taken all steps 2 solely within his or her power to remove all maintenance. ture’s attempt to alleviate the social and tions such as ORA and many rabbis and barriers to the defendant’s remarriage following In a recent matrimonial case in Kings religious problems faced by Jewish men individuals who help the affected parties the annulment or divorce…” County, the trial court applied the Get and women whose spouses refuse to navigate the get process. While some peo- 2. N.Y. Domestic Relations Law §236(B)(6)(d) provides, “In any decision made pursuant to this Law, holding that the award to the hus- cooperate in the get process or seek to ple take comfort in the belief that the get subdivision the court shall, where appropriate, band/defendant, of maintenance and half hold the get ransom in exchange for crisis will never concern them directly, in consider the effect of a barrier to remarriage…” 3. S.A. v. K.F., 2009 WL 212566 (N.Y. Sup.). the wife’s pension, was contingent on the some desired benefit. The statute was cre- fact it affects all segments of our commu- 4. The first two clauses of the Bill of Rights of the husband’s voluntarily giving the wife a ated precisely to respond to this conun- nity, from rich to poor, from unaffiliated U.S. Constitution provide that “Congress shall get within 45 days.3 Relying on the Get drum. The Get Law, however, has stimu- Jews to ultra-Orthodox. The charitable make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” Law, the wife, who commenced the lated and sparked much controversy and and tireless efforts of organizations such These clauses are applicable to the states through divorce action, had argued that her hus- criticism on constitutional grounds.4 as ORA therefore deserve our full support. the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. band should be barred from receiving any Much has been written on this subject. There are no easy, clear-cut solutions 5. See N.Y. Domestic Relations Law, Section 253(6). marital assets or maintenance due to his It is a well-settled law that a state may not to the devastating get crisis. Despite civil 6. N.Y. Domestic Relations Law Section 253 Practice Commentary C253:1 at 851. failure to give her a get. The court was not legislate for religious purposes. On its laws enacted to address the failure of a 7. Governor’s Memorandum of Approval Act of persuaded by the husband’s argument face, the Get Law appears to be secular, party to participate in the get process, and Aug 8, 1983, ch 979.

18 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Who Is A Briton? define itself. To be sure, many religions Continued from Front Cover consider anyone who chooses to self- identify as part of the faith to be mem- underwent a non-halachic conversion bers of their religious community. But brought a lawsuit against a North London Judaism is—and has always been—differ- Jewish school for not accepting the child ent. A child born to a Jewish mother who as a student. Britain subsidizes religious does not affirm Judaism is still a Jew in schools and allows those with more the eyes of Jewish religious law. applicants than seats to give preference Not, though, one born to a non-Jewish to children within the schools’ own mother, unless she had previously convert- faiths. The school at issue, the Jews’ Free ed according to the standards of Jewish law. School, or JFS, considers Jewish religious The case, which the media has cast as law to be the determinant of that status. Britain’s “Who is a Jew?” controversy, is The parents’ suit was denied by a lower now before the British Supreme Court, court, but that ruling was subsequently where the Court of Appeal decision was overturned by the British Court of brought by the school. Appeal. To be sure, whatever Britain’s highest The justices on that latter court con- court may decide, no secular tribunal can cluded that basing school admissions on attenuate believing Jews’ embrace of the whether a student’s mother is Jewish is heritage for which their ancestors lived, “unlawful,” as it constitutes a “test of eth- and for the preservation of which many nicity which contravenes the Race of them died. The question, though, Relations Act.” Or, as another blogger remains: Will the British Supreme Court chose to put it, the child is “damaged recognize Judaism’s uniqueness—and the goods” in Jewish eyes, “far to[o] ‘Un- right of Jews and Jewish institutions to Chosen’ to attend school with all the embrace it without censure? other little ‘Pure’ Jewish Kids.” And will people such as the parents of How the ladies and lords of the Court the boy at issue come to understand that of Appeal square their judgment of what they are taking as personal insult is Jewish law as racially discriminatory with simply fealty to Jewish law? the fact that the very same law grants full “How dare they [school officials] ques- Jewish status to anyone who accepts tion our beliefs and our Jewishness?” ful- Jewish observance and undergoes conver- minated David Lightman, a widely quot- sion—regardless of color, national origin, ed father of a non-halachically Jewish or ethnicity—is not known. In fact, it’s child (not the boy at issue). “I find it offen- not hard to imagine an amusing Monty sive and very upsetting.” Python sketch built around that glaring No doubt he does, and that is unfortu- inconsistency. nate. But the school’s policy is not intend- But even more disturbing than the ed to hurt him or his child. It is simply a Court of Appeal’s lack of lucidity is its disapproval of the right of a religion to Continued on Page 21

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 19 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR To publish his claim perpetuates claims Mr. Haifetz at his office in Yerushalayim— I will be delighted for Mr. Blachor to Continued from Front Cover against JNF that are totally false. and not just once. I even talked with him call me and I will make arrangements to Sincerely, about some of the plots that I mentioned visit the plots belonging to KKL in East dia refugee camp as “squatters” with no Isaac Blachor, in my interview with Mr. Gordon. At this Yerushalayim. rights to remain there. The courts denied JNF Vice President meeting were third parties, including Mr. Sincerely, the petition of the JNF, saying in pub- for Israel Relations Yafeh from Himnutah (the JNF properties Arieh King lished opinions that this was a political Mr. King Responds: company) and others. I will give Mr. Perception vs. Reality matter that had to be decided by the The Shoafat forest near Pisgat Zeev Blachor their names and cell numbers so Dear Editor, Israeli government. was a forest without even one building he can ask them directly if I ever had a Your article about the Toldos Avraham Each year, JNF submits its claim to till 1988! Between 1991 and 2009, more meeting with Mr. Haifetz. Yitzchak Rebbe in last week’s issue was that land to keep its rights intact. JNF than 300 apartments were built at the I have been working just 12 years at the beautiful. We have to learn to be tolerant cannot accept rent from the residents, borders of the Shoafat forest. These days, field of reclaiming the Land of Eretz Israel. of Jews with an outlook different from because that could make them “tenured Arabs are still building tens of new build- The JNF started doing that more than 100 ours. The Rebbe practices this, as is obvi- tenants,” a term denoting that they are ings at this JNF forest. years ago, and I respect them a lot for ous by his tischen, which attract many protected under both Turkish and Mr. Blachor wrote, “Each year, JNF sub- doing so much on behalf of the Jewish non-chassidim, including many Modern English land law, much of which contin- mits its claim to that land to keep its Nation—until KKL in Israel got lost… Orthodox Jews. ues to be applied to Israeli real-estate rights intact.” How has the JNF claimed its …since KKL lost the direction of the Although I am not a Toldos Avraham law to this day. So, these residents, living rights? Why didn’t JNF build a fence to founders of the JNF, PLDC, JNF-UK. Yitzchak chassid, I was dismayed that you on confiscated property, do not pay protect the land that was not built on …since they’ve stopped buying land published a letter containing sinas chi- rents or municipal taxes, and the UN before 1967? In the years 2004–2009, more from Arabs in some areas because of nam and many lies. In addition, Rabbi continues to provide support to them, than 200 new apartments were built on political reasons. Weinberger was quoted out of context. all in contravention of existing interna- JNF land in the area north of Atarot …since they’ve decided not to protect The fact is that the chayalim attended the tional law. Airport. This is outside the refugee camp! the land that belongs to the Jewish nation Rebbe’s tisch Friday night and were warm- The article then goes on to claim that Mr. Blachor wrote, “JNF cannot accept and that they are responsible for at Gush ly welcomed, being brought to the front Mr. King has done “exhaustive research.” rent from the residents, because that Etzion, where they didn’t try to keep hun- to stand next to the Rebbe. The fact that He has never, to my knowledge, exam- could make them ‘tenured tenants.’” This dreds of acres inside the separation there were separate shalosh seudos meals ined the land records kept at the records is not correct; they can’t claim to be wall—and they know Arabs are using this was not the Rebbe’s doing; the Rebbe’s office (located on Balfour Street in “tenured tenants” if they built the houses land. That happened three years ago. shalosh seudos was scheduled first. Jerusalem), something that I have done after 1967. I was talking about the build- …since KKL decided to allow an Arab Collecting for mosdos out of the com- personally several times, nor has he ever ings that were built after 1967. to become a director in KKL! munity is a straw-man argument here, as reviewed the court documents that are Mr. Blachor wrote, “He has never, to …since KKL knows what has been hap- we have not heard the letters protesting maintained regarding these and other my knowledge, examined the land pening on their land in the Atarot area the many other organizations collecting properties owned by JNF. records kept at the records office.” In fact, and in the Shoafat area for years. here. It is the responsibility of an editor At the very least, I have verified that he I examined the land records at the JNF I have a few letters between senior not to publish hate-mongering letters has never interviewed Mr. Alex Haifetz, the archive and at the Zionist archive. If Mr. people in KKL, including the chairman, filled with lies. KKL [Keren Kayemeth LeIsrael–Jewish Blachor wants, I can send copies I have and they all know about what I reported We should all work on ahavas Yisrael National Fund] official who is in charge of made that I keep in a safe place. to Mr. Gordon. And although they all for all Jews. these records, and who is probably the per- Mr. Blachor wrote, “At the very least, I know about that, they are not protecting Shmuel Foxman son with the greatest amount of knowl- have verified that he has never inter- our land. I wish that because of this arti- Far Rockaway edge about these land issues. Therefore, his viewed Mr. Alex Haifetz, the KKL official cle the JNF donors in all of the U.S. will so-called research is faulty, to say the least. who is in charge of these records.” I’ve met wake up and will shake the KKL! Continued on Page 23

20 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Who Is A Briton? Continued from Page 19 declaration of respect for Judaism’s millennia-old religious tradition. There are, as it happens, many “Progressive” Jewish schools in England. Parents whose children are viewed as Jewish by non-Orthodox Jewish clergy but not by halachah can avail themselves of those institutions. But the Mr. Lightmans of the Isles seem intent on demanding that their fellow Jews who consider halachah sacrosanct abandon their principles. Back to the high justices, though. As they consider the case before them, part of what they might mull is the fact that in Britain, as in most countries, there are two paths to citizenship. According to the British Home Office, a foreign national can be naturalized by undergoing a pre-

Continued on Page 22

CALENDAR LUACH Nov. 20–Nov. 28 ZIP Code: 11516

3 Kislev Friday, November 20 Daf yomi: Bava Basra 91 Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/teﬁllin: 5:50 am Sunrise: 6:48 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:37 am Gr’a 9:13 am P’lag ha’minchah: 3:32 pm Candle Lighting: 4:15 pm 4 Kislev – Shabbos Saturday, November 21 Shabbos Tol’dos Shabbos ends**: 5:17 pm 72 min. 5:45 pm 10 Kislev Friday, November 27 Daf yomi: Bava Basra 98 Earliest tallis/teﬁllin: 5:57 am Sunrise: 6:56 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:42 am Gr’a 9:18 am P’lag ha’minchah: 3:29 pm Candle Lighting: 4:11 pm 11 Kislev – Shabbos Saturday, November 28 Shabbos Parashas Vayeitzei Shabbos ends**: 5:14 pm 72 min. 5:42 pm * from MyZmanim.com ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos according to your minhag Municipal Calendar For 5 Towns and NYC Thursday, November 26 Thanksgiving Day. NYS banking holiday; local post offices closed; no garbage collec- tion; public schools closed; Sunday transit schedule; NYC parking regulations suspended except where in effect 7 days a week. Friday, November 27 Public schools closed; NYC alternate-side parking regulations suspended (for Id-ul-Adha). 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 21 Another problem I’ve encountered care what time they are coming home. with the early darkness of the evening is “You don’t have to wait up for me!” is that when my high-school children leave the usual response to my request for school at 5:15, a relatively early time, it is them to get home at a reasonable time. already dark out! I try not to think about Even if they are in the comfort of a car, their long (approximately six short I would rather know that they are home blocks) walk home in the dark. At least we safe and sound and out of the darkness. I live on a busyish street, so with the hus- simply cannot sleep soundly until I hear tle and bustle of the cars going down our the creak of the front door. My kids will “through” street, I am confident that it is insist that I am sleeping by 9 p.m., so It’s Just Too Dark not too dark for their walk home. But if what difference does it make when they they want to venture further away from come home? But they do not understand I don’t enjoy driving in the dark. Even hope for the best. the lights of Central Avenue, I tend to get that I am just “resting” until I hear that with my headlights on, I seem to have dif- One would think that I would feel more nervous. final creak and I know that everyone who ficulty seeing. And what about seeing more secure if someone else drives me “If I can’t find a ride home I’ll just should be home is actually in the house. behind me? I think there should be somewhere at night. Somehow that does- walk,” is a comment I usually hear from There is a reason that G-d caused the “rearview lights,” as well. It makes sense; I n’t add to my security—actually, at times 16-year-old Rivka when she wants to go to plague of choshech, darkness, on the would have a clearer view of what is going it decreases it. The darkness of the sky a friend after school. Egyptians so many thousands of years on behind me—whether it’s a car, a per- coupled with the shining lights of the “You can’t walk home in the dark!” I’ll ago. People were afraid of the dark then son, or an animal. I have a feeling that other cars and traffic control devices usually respond. as they are today. I am not alone in my even with rearview lights, I still would not cause me to become an even more obser- “But it’s not late! I’m not a baby!” will fears—although with the invention of enjoy driving in the dark. It’s just too dark. vant “back-seat driver” (even while sitting come the usual reply. the light bulb, some of those fears should These long winter nights don’t sit well in the front). Or, rather, let me amend I’m certainly not a baby either, but I be kept at bay! In fact, when I find myself with me. Once the lights dim, the that—driving as a passenger at night in am fearful when walking in the dark— alone at night (and, with a household of amount of driving I am willing to do the dark, I am almost too nervous to even if it’s early. Somehow I transfer my eight, that does not happen too often) I diminishes. For required driving, such as make any comments. I am usually too fears onto my children. Maybe I am a seem to turn more lights on and keep the driving the kids to afterschool activities busy holding on for dear life, as my hus- baby. television on later than usual. When my or for work, I just take a deep breath and band often points out. My kids still don’t understand why I seven-year-old awakens during the night and turns on the hall light, I cannot get too angry, as I too have my own night- time fears! If you listen carefully, the house seems to creak more in the darkness of the night, and the wind outside seems to howl more—and that’s why I try to get everyone home safe and sound early enough so I can fall asleep when the night is a bit younger. As much as I think that I would like farm living in general (fresh fruits and vegetables, cute farm animals, etc.), I don’t think I would enjoy the dark nights in the unlit outdoors of the country: it’s just too dark! O

Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. She welcomes your questions and comments at [email protected].

Who Is A Briton? Continued from Page 21 scribed process and ceremony; and citizenship is automatically granted to anyone “born in the United Kingdom on or after 1 January 1983 if at the time of your birth one of your parents was: a British citizen; or legally settled in the United Kingdom.” One is a citizen, then, it seems, by simple virtue of having been born to a Briton. Might that seem, in some eyes, a tad racist? Call it the “Who is a Briton?” question. O

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22 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Continued from Page 20 More Questions For The Rebbe Dear Editor, While I congratulate you for sitting down with the Toldos Avraham Yitzchak Rebbe, I feel that many issues were left unresolved. A general denial by his wife, and not the Rebbe, that the rioters in Jerusalem this last summer are not the followers of the Rebbe just doesn’t cut it. And the issue of the chillul Hashem taking place in Bet Shemesh was not addressed. One cannot have his cake and eat it too. Either the government of Israel is illegitimate or it isn’t. You can’t pick and choose. If the issue of Shabbos is of such a concern, then not only should they not accept money for their educational system, they should not use the services provided by the Israeli government, i.e., mass transit, water, electricity, etc. What type of educational system do they have? Are they teaching the students how to make a living so they can support their own educational system and there would not be any need to go outside their community to raise funds, or is every Reuvein, Shimon, and Levi theoretically learning all day, thereby requiring visits such as last week? If Shabbos is so important, does the Rebbe really know that each and every one of his chassidim are shomer Shabbos? Regarding the story of the woman who wanted to donate money but was not shomeres Shabbos so the Rebbe turned down her offer, how did it work last week? Before anyone in our community donated money, were they asked if they kept Shabbos? Was any investigation done to make sure that the truth was being told? Are there different standards for a single woman and a comfortable community like ours when it comes to taking money? Why didn’t the Israeli soldiers have a meeting with the Rebbe? It seems to me that this was the perfect opportunity for the Rebbe to explain his positions and resolve any misconceptions that our community has about him. Elliot Feinerman

In Defense Of IFCJ Dear Editor, As an admirer of the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews and a donor to one of its projects, I was taken aback by the position attributed to Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, shlita, and other leading rabbis that Jewish organizations must not accept money from IFCJ (October 23 issue). According to your article, Rav Elyashiv determined that organizations accepting such funds “are flouting the Torah’s prohibition of idolatry” and aiding “missionary activities.” These charges are severe; if true, they would amount to a strong indictment of the IFCJ. In the past several weeks, I have inves- tigated the Fellowship in an attempt to determine whether it engages in missionary activity and whether its funds are sourced in idolatrous origins. I have found that neither is the case. The Fellowship is headed by Yechiel Eckstein, who has ordination from Yeshiva University. Rabbi Eckstein has a chezkas kashrus, that is, we presume he

Continued on Page 25 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 23 Lawrence Man Dedicates Jerusalem 9/11 Memorial

BY SAMUEL SOKOL, the United States. This testament to the JERUSALEM solidarity shared by the U.S. and Israel goes beyond lip service to unite these A memorial to the over 3,000 victims nations and their allies in the global of Islamic terrorism who perished in the fight against the destructive forces of 9/11 attacks has been erected in the humanity.” Arazim forest outside of Jerusalem. This The memorial was commissioned and show of solidarity between the people of built by the Jewish National Fund-USA Israel and the city of New York was in and features a central sculpture in the large part made possible by Carmi shape of a waving American flag trans- Schwartz, a resident of Lawrence. formed into a memorial flame. A small Schwartz, executor of the Bronka piece of wreckage from the World Trade Stavsky Rabin Weintraub estate, funded Center is in a compartment in the granite the memorial’s vast plaza, which includes base. The sculpture itself was paid for the names of those fallen as well as with a donation from Edward Blank, also amphitheatre-style benches along the a resident of New York. periphery. The 30-foot high bronze sculpture was He explained in a prepared statement, designed by award-winning Israeli artist At the dedication ceremony, Perl and Carmi Schwartz with their granddaughters. “This poignant memorial on behalf of E. Weishoff. the victims of 9/11 helps demonstrate the The Jerusalem monument is one of the shared commitment of two great democ- first major international memorials to of New York to recognize the names of main Jerusalem-Tel Aviv highway and is racies that battle terrorism—Israel and the 9/11 attacks and the only site outside every victim. It can be seen from the located directly across from the Har Hamenuchot cemetery. Carmi Schwartz took a few minutes to speak with the 5TJT before the dedication ceremony began. “We are here to participate in the dedication of the Bronka Stavsky Rabin Weintraub plaza and living memorial for victims of 9/11 which in our view constitute probably the most sym- bolic bonding of the United States of America and the State of Israel because the terrorist act against the United States of America which caused so much national pain in America and personal pain was the culmination of the powerful bonding that Israel and the United States so eager- ly require, though the bonding has been strong from the advent of the State of Israel in 1948,” he stated. Schwartz’s wife, Perl, added, “Carmi and I brought three of our granddaughters with us. The oldest is Rachel, the next Sarah, and [youngest] Tehilla for her bat mitzvah, which was just in June, we treat- ed her and her sisters to a trip here…so she could see what the family was able to accomplish… [It’s] a very special experience for us, and for them in understanding the past, the present and the future.” Former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, who was the mayor of Jerusalem at the time of the attacks, made a surprise appearance at the monument’s unveiling. He used the opportunity to publicly blast the United Nations’ Goldstone report, which accused both Israel and Hamas of war crimes during the Jewish state’s defensive war in Gaza this past December and January. Acknowledging the difficulties inherent in asymmetric warfare, the former prime minister explained there is a fundamental difference between victims of terror and those hurt in the course of anti-terror operations. “When [terrorists] attack, when they commit sui- cidal attacks, the main purpose is to kill innocent civilians…to create chaos and anarchy. When the fight is against terror…in the course of these actions, sometimes uninvolved people are affected. It is against the desire and against the purpose of these operations.” Ret. IDF Brig. General Dov Shefi lost his son in the 9/11 attacks. He stated that the memorial dedication ceremony “sym- bolizes the identification of the State of Israel…with the thousands of families of 24 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Committee. In 2008, the Fellowship dis- Israel, or any other part of the world to Continued from Page 23 tributed almost 25 million dollars distribute to needy Jews.” Unfortun- through Isaiah 58. ately, I believe that Rav Elyashiv was follows Jewish law unless proved other- In Israel, the Fellowship directs vital wrongly informed about the nature of wise. Rabbi Eckstein has devoted his life funds to food kitchens and other aid the IFCJ and its mission. to serving his fellow Jews. There is noth- groups through its Guardians of Israel I pray that those with access to Rav ing to indicate that he would transgress program. Among the beneficiaries are Elyashiv will revisit the IFCJ issue. I am laws that prohibit benefiting from idola- Orthodox organizations, including confident that if he is properly informed, try, G-d forbid. Migdal Ohr and Colel Chabad. If these Rav Elyashiv will revise his conclusion. In The Fellowship’s primary intent is to groups are cut off from Fellowship the meantime, I urge your readers to do encourage Christians to donate to Jewish money, which alternate source will step their own research about IFCJ; I think causes, but of course others may also up, in these difficult times, to make up they will agree that this organization’s donate. The IFCJ utilizes these critical the deficit? Who will promise to provide life-saving work deserves our support. funds in several arenas. I will note just life-saving assistance to the elderly, the Avi Goldstein, two. The Isaiah 58 project, to which I Holocaust survivors, and others who rely Far Rockaway have given money, is unmatched in its upon the Fellowship? endeavors on behalf of destitute Jews I don’t know how the question about Editor’s note: The pernicious aspects of who live in the former Soviet Union. I IFCJ was presented to Rav Elyashiv. Was Rabbi Yechiel Epstein’s IFCJ organization, recently viewed a program about Isaiah he told that IFCJ engages in missionary including the Isaiah 58 project, were 58 and came away stunned by the condi- activity? I have a letter in my possession exposed in an article by Mayaan Pase- tions in which these Jews live, yet heart- from the Fellowship in which its anti- Jaffein, “Buying Jewish Souls,” in the ened by the aid that the IFCJ provides missionary position is made crystal March 2005 issue of The Jewish Observer, them. For a relatively small amount of clear. As a corollary, I asked whether any as well as in a follow-up to Rabbi money, the Fellowship offers heat and Christian organizations were involved Eckstein’s response in the Summer 2005 food to Jews who have been long forgot- in distributing aid, a situation that issue. Readers may also be interested in a ten by other organizations. The food is could lead to missionary activity. The July 24, 2005 New York Times Magazine kosher, and the project is administered answer given me was: “We do not use article by Zev Chafets, “The Rabbi Who on the ground by the Joint Distribution Christian aid organizations in Russia, in Loved Evangelicals (and Vice Versa).” O

the victims of September 11 throughout the world, with the United States and with the city of New York.” Col. Rick Burgess, the American mili- tary attaché in Israel, recalled his memories of the 9/11 attacks. Burgess told the 5TJT: “I was serving in Turkey on September 11, 2001, and this [ceremony] brought back a lot of memories, powerful memories in my mind, and sitting here with Jerusalem in the background, it’s just an amazing experience... The United States is always going to stand with Israel. There’re lots of challenges around the world and we’re going to work through all these, and it’s just very meaningful to me to have this opportunity to be here today...Set against the magnificent back- drop of Jerusalem, the living memorial will be a moving place from which to mourn the victims of 9/11 as well as consider the thousands of victims of terrorism worldwide,” said Russell F. Robinson, CEO of the JNF. “Jerusalem is a battle- ground of civilization but also a place of hope. The memorial is situated in Jerusalem’s green belt; what better place to show that civilization won?” Both former President Bill Clinton and current Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu sent letters expressing their solidarity with the victims of terrorism. PM Netanyahu wrote, “As home to three of the world’s major religions, Jerusalem is a fitting home for this memorial—one that not only commemorates the victims of terror, but also reaffirms our commitment to freedom, democracy, and tolerance.” O 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 25 their cellular phones. I have heard rumors election four years ago, had met Jeff that Cedarhurst was once a nice town, Toback during that campaign and con- but I find them hard to believe. To me, it cluded that Toback was a pretty nice guy looks like nothing more than a Jewish who did a lot of good for the community. Orthodox version of Valley Stream, a And, when he won reelection, I believe he municipality so vile, in my opinion, as to did just that. And, I tend to vote make “Pottersville” from the Jimmy Republican. Stewart holiday classic, It’s a Wonderful In fact, I went to the new polling sta- Life, look like Shangri-La. tion at Lawrence High School and had to Have You Started Your Yes, there is no doubt that graft, cor- buy a map of the campus just to find out ruption, and short-sighted nickel-grub- where the voting booths were kept. I bing stupidity is still in vogue in “Small also showed my support for Jeff Toback, Holiday Shopping Yet? Town Long Island.” It is interesting that but I guess my history with voting for the sister hamlet of Woodmere is a lovely guys named Jeff is counter-indicative of And Weird Talk About The for the rest of the year. place where the deer and the antelope the winning horse. But, my trip to exer- Sold-Out Rebbe Show Don’t worry, there will be plenty of play and which has only recently been cise my right and duty as an American to Well, this week saw Rosh Chodesh “Chanukah” (read: going out-of-business) marred by the “Institutionalized vote and take part in the democratic Kislev, complete with a “buy one—get sales and possibly even some festive American Usurping of our Civil Rights” process was not a total loss. I not only one free” second day of the New Month. restaurant closings. Yes, Cedarhurst is in with the month-old advent of invasive, got to buy a ticket in the “Suozzi- Already, Central Avenue, the Avenue of the midst of an exciting “Renaissance of surveillance cameras at major intersec- Mangano Lotto” (you got to be in it to cash-strapped holiday shopping, fast food Decline,” unseen in many years, which tions. Well, Nassau County used to be a win it) which should be drawn some- dining, and cut-rate banking, is beginning can be at least partly blamed on greedy nice place before it became an outpost time next May, I also got to meet the to look each night like a bona-fide winter landlords as well as the anti-business and protectorate of Singapore. And that first bona-fide “star” of the Lawrence wonderland. In fact, even the athletic and Cedarhurst Town Hall and the Fourth gets me back to local politics. High School Football Team—a master- over-enthusiastic meter maids have Precinct which has become little more What’s up with all the frum Lawrence fully talented, polite, and genuinely nice switched their uniforms to include sheer, than a dispatch service for a fleet of high- Jews ditching and trashing Jeff Toback, young man named Kinder, who was sit- iridescent angel wings for the holiday ly-paid traffic cops who stop people from Esq. Even my attorney, who backed Jeff ting with his teammates in the video season, leaving their usual vulture attire double parking, honking, or talking on Katz, Esq., who stalled at the gate in the room reviewing game tapes and chan- neling the spirit of that great Lawrence High School Jewish football star, Lyle Alzedo—the last great football star to emerge from our tax dollars at work. Mr. Kinder has been accepted by Syracuse University and will surely be a standout quarterback there. I feel I should mention this bit of local sports news, as our much-maligned “Orthodox School Board” has totally failed to bring up this bit of good news to any of the res-

Eisav my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man (Bereishis 27:11)

Two men, one possessing a thick head of hair and the other bald-headed, stood near a threshing-floor. When the chaff flew into the locks of the former, it became entangled in his hair; but when it flew on to the head of the bald man, he passed his hand over his head and removed it. By the same token, the wicked Eisav is polluted by sin throughout the year and has no way to achieve atonement; whereas Yaakov is defiled by sin throughout the year, but has Yom Kippur through which to procure forgiveness.

(Midrash Rabbah)

26 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES idents of these Five Towns. In pair of Uggs boots. Or, if she favorite chassidic rebbe or your ommended and will insure that mander. fact, I hear that Lawrence High hasn’t been doing well in budding talmid chacham, why a copy is reserved just for you. Finally, speaking of the mira- School plays its football home school or if she’s back talking at not get a gift certificate to one The Green Shtreimel promises cle of Chanukah and kibbutz games on Shabbos afternoons, home, then buy her a pair of of the local Judaica stores to be the book equivalent mega galuyot (the ingathering of the so why suggest that when Emus, instead. Both styles are where the upcoming novel, hit of Call of Duty 2—Modern Jews in exile), President Barak Lawrence plays on its home Obama, while in China, visited field, that the local bachurim his half-brother who is 100% and their fathers go to catch a halachically Jewish (on his quarter or two and maybe even mother’s side). Perhaps the show some communal “kosher Hey, like the Suozzi–Mangano brother, a resident of Beijing, for Shabbos” spirit—as admis- will make aliyah with the group sion is free and it is in walking of Jews from Shanghai who distance to most of us. “Thriller in Mineola”— recently moved to Eretz Yisrael. Well, I know many of you Hey, like the Suozzi–Mangano probably would be aware of you just never know! “Thriller in Mineola”—you just some local good news, if it never know! weren’t for your complete This is The Legendary Danny immersion in this season’s O’Doul signing off and wishing “Rebbe Concert Tours” and/or all my readers A Great Good Indignant Rebbe Bashing.” In available at all places on The Exotic Tales of The Green Warfare, which I highly recom- Shabbos. May your rebbes be the Five Towns—where many Avenue where sushi is not sold, Shtreimel, by yours truly, mend as a lovely Chanukah teflon, your shtreimels be green own not one, but two bekeshes, but your best bet would be should be available for sale by treat for your budding soldier and your chulent not stick to a shtreimel, a silk sateen kapote, Morton’s or Jildor’s. For your next Purim. A pre-order is rec- of fortune or future IDF com- the pot. O a gartel, three black fedoras, and a hamburg—it has pitted the “Berachos Buyers” vs. the “Rebbe Rustlers,” and each group has its rabid posses and self-righteous ding-dongs who use up precious time graciously allotted to them by Hashem to totally immerse themselves in vituperative invective which is designed to draw the common man into ridiculous debates over “pseudo- crises” for which the Jewish Orthodox community has become renown. Personally, I come from The Bronx, where a visit from a chassidic rabbi to our shul would have been less likely than a Martian ambling over to my apartment to spend Shabbos after his spaceship crash-landed onto the campus of nearby Lehman College. Chassidic rabbis? I have nothing against them at all and wish them well. If some flush guy in Lawrence wants to sponsor their visit—then Gey—Gey Gezunta Hayt! Don’t hock me to China with any stupid plans to protest any visits from Rebbes on Tour. In fact, let them get their own Xbox Game like “Rockstar—Chassidic Masters Edition.” If you are into calling party lines like 1-800- BRACHOT or 1-888-CHUMRAS, knock yourself out—just don’t use my phone. And, speaking of phones, if you’re looking for the perfect Chanukah gift for your family, yourself, or your friends, especially those who love calling the aforementioned party lines or surfing the web for heimeshe websites like www.thegreen shtreimel.com or www.danny odoul.com, then consider the new Droid Smartphone from Motorola which operates using the Google Android System over the always-reliable Verizon cellular network. Feel free to visit my dear friends, Mo, Zambique, Cal, and Cutta at the Verizon Shop on Central Avenue just off Cedarhurst Avenue. If you have a teenage girl at home, why not get her a new 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 27 Palestinian place.” He also said that all Amidst Boycott Calls, British And Israelis and Israeli institutions are “com- plicit” in “crimes” against the Arabs. Canadian Jews Initiate Buycott Campaigns When asked if governments should cut off diplomatic relations with Israel, Barkan replied, “I surely do.” He BY SAMUEL SOKOL There have been increasing calls for built mainly on land ethnically cleansed explained that supporting a boycott of divestment against Israel by Israelis, of its Palestinian owners.” Israel is not anti-Semitic, but rather the Ronnie Barkan is a leading activist including such academics as Neve The Palestine General Federation of “humane thing to do.” The BDS cam- with Boycott from Within, an organiza- Gordon, chair of the department of gov- Trade Unions has no official position on paigner referred to the database of Israeli tion that agitates for boycotts against ernment at Ben Gurion University of the BDS, having never discussed the subject, Israel, as well as being a member of Negev. Gordon recently wrote in the Los according to PGFTU general secretary Anarchists against the Wall, which Angeles Times that BDS is “the only way Shaher Saeed. The PGFTU has imposed a engages in violent demonstrations that Israel can be saved from itself.” boycott on produce from Israeli towns in He explained that against Israel’s security barrier near the The Five Towns Jewish Times spoke Judea and Samaria, but had concerns over town of Bil’in. with Barkan and with a representative of whether such actions would harm the BDS, which stands for “Boycott, the British Board of Deputies which 30,000 PA Arabs employed there. supporting a boycott Divestment, and Sanctions,” is an increas- organized a counter-boycott program Unlike Gordon, Barkan does not ingly popular tool of the Arab world and called a “Buycott.” An identical Buycott explain his actions in terms of saving of Israel is not anti- the left. Comparing Israel to apartheid program is also being run in Canada. Israel. “I’m an anti-Zionist myself,” he South Africa, anti-Zionist groups call on Barkan began by explaining that his explained. Barkan said that the right of Semitic, but rather the trade unions, academic institutions, and organization operates according to the return for Palestinian refugees is “a basic individual shoppers to refrain from doing July 2005 manifesto issued by the right” and that a Jew born in the Diaspora business with, and buying products from, Palestinian Campaign for the Academic & has “no relation” to Israel “but is regarded “humane thing to do.” Israel. The BDS campaign against the South Cultural Boycott of Israel. The manifesto as a Jew according to Israeli racist laws.” African apartheid regime is considered one called for “a comprehensive economic, He complained that such a Jew “has, for of the major factors in having hastened the cultural, and academic boycott of Israel” some reason or another, the right to end of racial inequality against blacks. due to the fact that the “state of Israel was return to a place which most likely is a businesses that operate in Judea and Samaria, compiled by the Who Profits initiative of the Coalition of Women for Peace, as being very helpful in running boycott campaigns against Israel. The CWP “call[ed] upon the Norwegian people to join us in our efforts and to stop investing in the Israeli occupation of Palestinian territory” in a letter addressed to the Norwegian pension fund’s council on ethics in May. The Who Profits initiative is run by Dr. Dalit Baum, the founder of the now defunct Lesbian anti-Zionist organization Black Laundry. In response to increasing calls for boycotts, the organized Jewish communities in both Canada and Britain have organized counter-BDS campaigns called “buy- cotts.” In a buycott, Jews flock to stores that are being boycotted or that are being threatened with a boycott, and buy out all Israeli products. Ms. Atalia Cadranel, the director of communications for the British Board of Deputies, explained the concept. As part of the larger BDS campaign, the Palestinian Solidarity Campaign (PSC) began targeting the Waitrose and Morrisons supermarket chains as part of their supermarket boycott campaign. During this campaign, the Board of Deputies, representing the Jewish community of the UK, and its partner, the Fair Play Campaign Group, rallied 200 supporters of Israel to enter a chosen supermarket and buy out the Israeli products sold there. A similar tactic was employed in Canada, in which Jewish and Zionist shoppers descended on a liquor store, buying out its entire supply of Israeli wines. According to Cadranel, this tactic is expected to be employed again in the future, to the dismay of British Jews, who wish it were not necessary. Discussing the calls for BDS being made by Israeli Jews, Cadranel stated “It’s completely divisive, because any kind of boycott hurts both the Israelis and the Palestinians and the Palestinian trade unions have come out and overtly said so.” Any sanctions against Israel would cause terrible economic hardship for the Palestinian Authority. Trade between Israel and the PA stood at $3.9 billion in 2008. O 28 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 29 30 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES covered that eating chocolate in abun- of your eye you notice another woman dance three times a day is the healthiest picking it up and quickly purchasing it. way to live and that salads actually Suddenly you feel as though you’ve should not be eaten more than once a missed the opportunity to purchase week, I think it’s safe to say that most probably the most fabulous bag that will people would quickly tire of chocolate ever come your way! You bemoan your and find themselves sneaking in salads stupidity and think about that particular pretty often. pocketbook for weeks to come with a Or, say you walk into a store and spot feeling of sadness. Dear Esther, Dear Hopeless, a one-of-a-kind pocketbook resting in a Those are silly examples, but the same Three years ago, when I was 22 years There is something very curious about lonely corner somewhere. Upon closer theory applies to serious matters, such as old, I met a young man in my neighbor- human nature. We always seem to want scrutiny, you realize that the color is a bit the prospect of marriage. Joe sounds like hood, and he asked me out. The date a nice enough guy. In fact, he may be an was not particularly wonderful. Though amazing fellow. However, after three “Joe” was a nice enough guy, I knew years of spending a great deal of time right away that he wasn’t for me. I come with him, he left you feeling . . . well, not from a family of very quick-thinking, You would always be wondering if really feeling much at all. That says a lot. witty people. When we all get together, Surely you deserve to feel drawn to a the conversation moves quickly and your real bashert was still lurking prospective husband. But Joe just didn’t you really have to stay on your toes to do it for you. The chemistry was lacking. keep up. Joe is laid-back to the point of And the fact that a new woman came often being very boring. And sometimes somewhere out there. along who did feel the chemistry does he can say things that just don’t sound not mean that Joe was right for you. very logical to me, and I am left scratch- Sure, you probably could have married ing my head, trying to figure out what Joe, and maybe the marriage would have he is saying. what we can’t have; but if something weird and the shape of the bag is not been “good enough,” as many marriages But, as I said, Joe’s a good guy, and so comes easy, we don’t necessarily want it. only strange but impractical. You walk we remained close friends. We would go For instance, if scientists suddenly dis- away from the bag, but from the corner Continued on Page 34 out together for a meal or to a museum. Though he wasn’t exciting company, it worked for both of us, because neither of us had anything better to do. Of course, over the past three years, we’ve both gone out on many other dates, but somehow we always found ourselves going out with each other once again, because the dates with others were often disasters. I think I viewed him as a safe brother, whom I could always depend on to be there for me when I was bored or lonely. Joe is not a particularly articulate or forceful man. Over the years, I think he did try taking our relationship to a more meaningful level, but he was always very subtle about it. I was relieved, because I knew in my heart that this was not the man I could ever be married to. I felt I needed someone much more dynamic, ambitious, and interesting. Anyway, about three months ago Joe went out on a date. I didn’t think much about it, because we both seemed to have had terrible luck in the dating department. I figured this woman would come and go like the rest of them. But, to my surprise, Joe kept dating her. We still kept in touch by phone, but Joe suddenly had little time for me. To make a long story short, he got engaged a few weeks ago to this young woman. I’ve met her and, to my surprise, she seems fabulous. She’s a professional, and she’s pretty and seems really nice. The two of them look quite happy together. And now I feel like blowing my brains out! Suddenly, Joe doesn’t look so dull to me anymore. I’m thinking that if this woman could fall in love with him, why didn’t I? I wonder whether I missed the most important opportunity of my life and whether I’ve been a fool. All I can focus on now are Joe’s good qualities—his patience and easygoing nature. I’m 25 years old now. The dates are coming less and less often. By now I could have been married with children. I don’t have Joe to hang out with anymore and I have no other prospects. I’m feeling very depressed over what happened, very angry at myself, and hopeless about my future. What have I done? Hopeless 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 31 The Art Of Sushi

Sushi can be found in restaurants, out can be high-priced, because you are take-outs, and even grocery stores in the paying for skill, presentation, and aesthet- largest metropolitan areas as well as the ics. Your first attempt at making your own most remote towns. The appeal of sushi sushi might not be a plate of artistic is undeniable; it combines an exotic food expertise, but it can be fun and delicious, style with health-conscious eating. Sushi and you will improve your skills as you is extremely low in fat, contains very few practice. Also, purchasing your own fresh calories, and fulfills doctors’ advice to fish might give you peace of mind about include more fish in your diet. It is the eating raw fish. If not, you can always opt ultimate fun finger food and is great for the vegetarian or cooked-fish varieties. long as it is fresh. A good fish should refrigerator at all times. either as an appetizer or as a main course. If you are going to use raw fish, it is smell of the sea and should not give off a Almost any type of fish can be used for In spite of enjoying widespread popu- very important to select the freshest fish pungent, unpleasant odor. When you sushi; experimenting can be half the fun. larity for many years, sushi is costly; also, possible. Pregnant women are cautioned bring the fish home, use it as soon as pos- In addition to salmon, which is a sushi some people are wary of eating raw fish in against eating raw fish; but for most sible. Wash it well under cold water and favorite, tuna is an ideal fish for sushi, a restaurant. Buying sushi when eating healthy adults, raw fish poses no risk, as cover it with plastic wrap. Keep it in the because its red color and robust flavor stands up well to wasabi. The art of sushi-making relies on being able to slice the fish well. The thinner the slices are, the better, and this skill requires the most practice. Good sushi also depends on perfectly cooked rice. Rice has to be just right so that it can be spread very easily on the nori (seaweed sheets). Make sure you use the Japanese short-grained sushi rice that is sticky in texture when finished. Rinse it several times, until the water no longer has a milky appearance. A good rule of thumb is to use one part rice and three parts water. Put the rice and the water in a pan and cover it until it reaches a boil. Lower the flame and cook it on low heat for about 10 to 15 minutes. After the liquid is cooked out, but it is not dry, take it off the fire and let it stand covered for another ten minutes. Meanwhile, prepare the sauce for the rice. For every cup of rice, you will need 1/8 cup Japanese rice vinegar, 1 tablespoon of sugar, and 1 teaspoon of salt. When the rice is cooled, mix this sauce into the rice. Now you are ready to make your sushi. The best sushi for a beginner to attempt is nigiri-sushi, which means “made in the hand.” First, moisten your hands and form a little ball of rice in your palms. The fish should already be sliced into small pieces no thicker than 1/8 inch. Put a tiny smear of wasabi (green Japanese horseradish paste) on one side of the fish. Take the rice ball and press the fish, wasabi side down, onto the rice, curving the fish around the rice. Flatten the fish and the rice together gently. The most common rolled type of sushi is maki. Maki is usually a cylindrical piece, formed with the help of a woven bamboo mat called a makisu. Maki-sushi is generally wrapped in nori, a sheet of dried seaweed that encloses the rice and fillings. There are other forms of rolled sushi that are all in the maki family. Futomaki (“fat roll”) are larger, more filling rolls. They are often made with two or three fillings. Uramaki differ from other maki because the rice is on the outside and the nori is within. The filling is in the center, surrounded by a liner of nori, then a layer of rice, and an outer coating of some other ingredient, such as toasted sesame seeds. As you may have noticed in Japanese 32 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES restaurants, a beautiful presentation is just as essential as creating tasty sushi. Sushi is usually served with a dollop of wasabi and a small bowl of soy sauce for dipping. Pickled ginger is a popular accompani- ment, but Japanese use it for clearing the palate between sushi varieties rather than as a condiment. Miso soup, made from soy paste, is a popular starter, and many people enjoy sushi with rice wine (sake), served warm or cold. Green tea is also a popular beverage and is usually drunk out of colorful earthenware mugs without handles. Once you are used to making and serving sushi, it is likely to become not just a familiar meal, but a weekly event.

Tuna Avocado Maki Ingredients: 4 sheets roasted nori (dried seaweed), cut in half crosswise 4 cups prepared sushi rice 1/4 cup wasabi paste 1/2 pound sushi-grade tuna, cut into 3/4-inch strips 1 avocado, cut into 1/4-inch strips 1/2 cup sliced pickled ginger Soy sauce for dipping Directions: Place sushi mat, covered in plastic wrap, on cutting board, with slats running crosswise. Arrange one sheet of nori, shiny side down, on mat, lining up long edge of sheet with edge of mat nearest to you. Lightly moisten hands with water, then gently spread about 3/4 cup rice onto nori in an even layer, leaving 1/2-inch border on the long end opposite you. Brush 1/2 teaspoon wasabi paste in a thin line across rice, about 1 inch from the side nearest you. Arrange about one- eighth of the tuna strips and then avocado strips on top of wasabi line. Beginning with edge nearest you, lift mat up with thumbs, holding filling in place with fin- gers, and fold mat over filling so that upper and lower edges of rice meet. Squeeze gently but firmly along the length of the roll, and tug top edge of mat away from you to tighten. (Nori border will still be visible below top edge of mat.) Open mat and roll log forward 1/4 turn, then fold mat over again and squeeze gently but firmly to seal nori border. Repeat to form remaining rolls. Transfer one roll, seam side down, to cutting board. Dip sharp knife into water and slice roll in half, then cut each half into three pieces. Slice the remaining rolls in the same manner. Serve immediately with remaining wasabi paste, ginger, and soy sauce. O

Eating quality, delicious meals is easy when all the work is done for you. Hire a personal chef to prepare your dinners, Shabbos meals, or small parties. For more information, contact Take Home Chef personal chef services by calling 516-596- 8865, writing to [email protected], or visiting www.TakeHomeChef.net.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 33 MINDBIZ Continued from Page 31 are. But it seems to me, based on your description of yourself and the type of thoughts you are now having, that you probably would have spent the rest of your life wondering whether you made the mistake of a lifetime marrying Joe, and you would always be wondering if your real bashert was still lurking somewhere out there. It would be great if we could predict the future, always knowing which decision is right and never experiencing regret and remorse. But that’s not how life is supposed to play out. You followed your heart, and your heart told you that Joe just wasn’t right for you. I understand why you are now feeling nervous and scared. Joe served you very well as a security blanket. He was always there for you, and perhaps in the back of your mind you figured he would always be willing to marry you, should you suddenly decide that it was a good idea. That security blanket has now been pulled away, and you’re on your own. Though your present feeling of loss is understandable, try to go back in time and remind yourself why, for so many years, Joe left you feeling so uninspired; why you felt that Joe would get lost among your family members and never really be able to blend in. You had com- pelling reasons for not viewing Joe as marriage material in the past—though for his fiancée he is quite possibly made to order. It’s not over for you. In fact, now that Joe is engaged, maybe you will find yourself dating again, with a change in attitude. Without your fallback guy, you may be more open to new opportunities. And, of course, it’s never a bad idea for anyone to occasionally examine her checklist to make sure that she is being realistic about what she needs in a husband, what she wants in a husband, and what she is taking for granted because it’s just too easy! Esther

Esther Mann, LMSW, is a therapist and life coach in Lawrence. Esther can be reached at 516-314- 2295 or [email protected]. She works with individuals, couples, and families.

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34 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES exists a forensic everything. There is sic, I went to Wikipedia this time. That forensic science, forensic psychology, was an exercise in futility, because it forensic accounting, forensic anthro- undoubtedly gets the info from the pology, forensic nursing, etc. The list is same two guys. The following explana- endless. I looked it up in Merriam- tion was given: “A cultural icon can be Webster’s dictionary, but it was of no an image, a symbol, a logo, picture, help. A forensic is described as “an argu- name, face, person, or building or other mentative exercise.” I understand the image that is readily recognized.” meaning of the word argumentative, Huh? To my way of thinking, that cov- New Guys On The Block just as I know what exercise means. But ers just about everything. For example, put the two words together and the the next time I’m seated in a restaurant, I It’s a constant source of amazement fellows, because they could also be concept escapes me. Could the woman just might look up at the waitress and to me how much I don’t comprehend. called on to testify in legal and criminal who comes in to clean my house be order an iconic egg-white omelet! Well, This is especially true since, once upon cases. But those days are long gone. considered a forensic helper? It’s a dis- why not? What is an egg-white omelet if a time, I considered myself to be a per- Today, only the testimony of a forensic tinct possibility, because she qualifies not easily recognizable? son of reasonable intelligence. My use psychiatrist is of value. This is a medical on two fronts: She is certainly argu- Another new guy on the block is the here of the phrase “once upon a time” doctor who has completed several years mentative, and her line of work pro- word retro. And this might be the most is intentional, because it feels like vides her with exercise. But something powerful word of them all, because it something of a fairy tale; I acknowl- tells me that’s not what it’s all about. turns things around—big time. “Retro” edge that there are serious lapses in my The word iconic is another newcom- not only makes acceptable something ability to grasp the meaning of some of “Retro” not only makes er. Since Mr. Merriam and Mr. Webster today’s new and frequently used words. acceptable something weren’t of much help to me with foren- Continued on Page 36 New and frequently used go hand-in- hand, because the newer a word is the that’s old-fashioned or more often it’s used. At least so it appears. outdated, but it goes a English, being a language that is very much alive, is constantly evolving; hence step further. It also there are always new words making the makes the item scene. Some of them are just fine, but others are annoying. desirable! I offer as an example the word forensic. Some people, while under the care of a psychologist or a psychotherapist, are referred to a psychiatrist in order to of additional training in the understand- receive medication. The psychiatrist, ing, diagnosis, and treatment of mental being a medical doctor, is able to pre- disorders. He may also have had experi- scribe and monitor medication, while ence related to the various interfaces of the psychologist and the psychothera- mental health with the law. It makes pist are unable to do so. Not too long sense. I suppose. ago, these same psychiatrists were busy But it doesn’t end there. There now

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 35 THAT’S THE WAY IT IS! but it goes a step further. It also other word would smell as outdated. alter, adjust, or update some- Continued from Page 35 makes the item desirable! In my sweet.” Regardless of what The list of new words goes thing are long gone. Now we book, Shakespeare had it right something is called, if it’s old on. The days when, out of neces- “tweak” things. It’s unclear to that’s old-fashioned or outdated, when he wrote “a rose by any and outdated it remains old and sity, we might need to change, me just why, but for some reason, this is a word I like, and I find myself using it often. But I think I know why many of the new words both- er me. It’s because they’re overused and abused. That happens whenever a new word hits the scene, and what’s sad is that the people who use the new words often don’t have the slightest clue as to the meaning. But they use them nevertheless. Sometimes the words make no sense at all, especially when grouped together to make a phrase. There was once a time when, if someone was totally uninterested in something, he would express his lack of interest by saying “I couldn’t care less.” The phrase had meaning. But no more! Today people say “I could care less.” The expression is totally wrong, because it is the direct opposite of the message that the speaker means to convey. It eventually caught on, however, and even reasonably intelligent people use the phrase. New words and phrases find their way into our lexicon on a regular basis. But the one that grizures me most is “not for noth- in.’” For starters, I have zero idea

36 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

what those words mean. The expression is most often used when the speaker wishes to make what he thinks is a disclaimer. And, to make matters worse, the G is usually left off the last word. This inane expression is supposed to be “not for nothing,” but for some reason folks think that by leaving off the G and pronouncing the word as “noth- in” the statement has more impact. And people do more than just use Kitty Weinberg Celebrates 105th as a very warm and nurturing environ- new words without understanding the Birthday At Woodmere Rehab ment to grow up in. When Kitty was 18 exact meaning. For example, many by Leba Sonneberg years old, a gentleman in the jewelry folks use “horrified” and “mortified” Kitty Weinberg has lived an eventful business named Aaron Weinberg was interchangeably. But they don’t have life in her 105 years. In honor of her passing through Mahoney City on his the same meaning; and, with the numerous accomplishments, a gala birth- way to Potsville, which was a larger town. exception of the last four letters, they day party was held by her family at He never knew exactly what had com- don’t even sound alike. Yet the error is Woodmere Rehabilitation and Health pelled him to stop over that night. He made all too often, and this too Care Center where she now resides. attended a shul dance where he met and grizures me. It hurts my ears and She was born on October 18, 1904 in danced with Kitty. offends my sensibilities. Mahoney City, Pennsylvania. It was a After graduating from high school, But who am I to complain about the small town where the main commerce Kitty went to the East Side of New York misuse of new expressions, or even single was coal mining. About 30 Jewish fami- City to stay with her aunt for a few Kitty Weinberg words? There’s a word that has become lies were living there in the early 1900’s. months. She dated Aaron. After a tradi- acceptable for expressing angst and Kitty’s parents owned the town clothing tional courtship, they became engaged. annoyance, and it’s one I frequently store. Mrs. Weinberg describes the town Their marriage took place on October 18, 1923 (Kitty’s 19th birthday). Kitty and employ. That would be the one surrepti- Aaron moved to Brooklyn where they tiously slipped into the above paragraphs: brought up their two children. Mrs. grizure. Presumably the word is Yiddish in Weinberg now has five grandchildren origin, since most Yiddish-speaking peo- and eleven great-grandchildren. ple either use it or, at the very least, under- The Weinbergs’ extended family and stand its meaning. But although it’s an oft- friends commemorated her 105th birth- used word, it hasn’t yet found its way into day at a party held in the recreation room an English dictionary, so maybe it should at the Woodmere Rehabilitation and have no place in my vocabulary. Health Care Center. Kitty is a gracious, Maybe I need to buy a new dictionary. vibrant, and bright woman. She is an Or maybe I should just publish one of my inspiration to staff and residents here at own. O the facility. We wish her good health and nachas Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a from her family until (at least) 120! O licensed real-estate broker associated with Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at [email protected] or 516-902-3733. Continued on Page 43

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 37 why I made this move. It’s understand- A Lesson From The Berkshires able and acceptable for people to wonder. But a line often gets crossed, from wondering to oneself, to wondering aloud, to BY MICHELE HERENSTEIN how long until those judgments make it us will have the willpower to keep our inventing scenarios about why someone to the ears of others? How long until thoughts and opinions to ourselves? It’s did something, to spreading these scenar- I suppose one of the good things about those judgments, previously only in your difficult. Human nature is such that we ios around to other people. It’s an insidi- moving to the Berkshires is that my per- mind, become part of a conversation like to share, which includes expressing ous process. We don’t even realize we spective on various issues has most defi- have gone from the personal thinking nitely been altered—for the better, I process to sharing the “down and dirty” hope. In New York, among a community theories with others. full of Observant Jews, where so many I got the impression that some people people know the same people you do, it’s If someone’s name is brought up in think my move to the Berkshires was easy to make hasty judgments, even if akin to a move to galus. Who is to say those judgments are only in our own conversation, how many of us will that galus in the Berkshires is worse than minds. If someone does something out of galus in New York City, on Long Island, or the ordinary or different from what is anywhere else? And who is to say that expected in the Orthodox community, it’s have the willpower to keep our this move is not the best thing I’ve done often looked at with mistrust and fre- for myself in a long time? Ever since mov- quently discussed by people who do not thoughts and opinions to ourselves? ing here, I find myself trying to judge peo- know all the facts. You could say this is a ple’s decisions in a more favorable light. problem of lashon ha’ra, and it is. But isn’t People often make decisions or choic- it wrong to judge someone unfavorably es that seem bizarre and unreasonable to even if only in your own mind? others, and they are often judged unfa- I don’t know of any law that states that among other people? to others what we think of a particular vorably because of them. But until we you can’t think whatever you’d like about We’re imperfect. Human beings were situation or person. know every detail about why someone whomever you’d like. But once you start created imperfect. If someone’s name is I realized when I moved to the has done or said something—and even judging someone, even if only to yourself, brought up in conversation, how many of Berkshires that people might question then!—we should not pass judgment. And even if we know all the facts, we are not that person; we are not, and can never be, inside their head. We can never deign to think that we understand why others make the choices they make. Everyone is different; what works for one person may not work for another. If we judge another’s actions, it is like we are saying that we understand exactly what is in someone else’s head, that we understand their emotions and feelings. Since this is impossible, maybe we should rethink trying to do it. Perhaps we should assume that someone’s choices are the best for them, and we should respect their decisions, and even support them, if that is what is called for in a particular situation. I was disturbed and deeply bothered when, in New York, I would hear people speculating on the reasons for other’s decisions. I’d hear things like, “They must be adopting because they can’t have their own children.” Well hey, maybe they’re adopting because it is a huge mitzvah and they have a lot of love to give. Or, “I hear they’re getting divorced because he was abusive.” This could be totally untrue and unsubstantiated by any facts. But rumors develop lives of their own, and they can ruin people’s lives. “Their child was thrown out of school for using drugs.” Well, maybe this child needed extra help in a certain area and decided to switch schools and in fact was not thrown out. It is so easy for us to make up reasons for the behavior of others; it also makes us feel better because, in a crazy way, in this scary world, it makes us feel safer. People like to think, “This can’t happen to me. My child wouldn’t get thrown out of school, my husband wouldn’t misbehave, and I haven’t had and won’t have any difficulty bearing children.” I am far from perfect. I know this. Yet one important thing I’ve learned here in the Berkshires is that when you do something people aren’t expecting, they become slightly defensive of their way of life and they try to make sense of your actions, often by discussing your situation with others, even if it ends up hurting you. This doesn’t necessarily make them cruel—only ignorant and 38 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES thoughtless, which in some cases is perhaps worse. Learning to accept that people may have different goals from yours, different feelings about life, and different ways of handling things is an important step to really growing up, emotionally and psy- chologically. When you next hear something that sounds odd to you, instead of calling up the first person you can think of to share your thoughts with, try sitting still with your feelings. Try accepting that although you might not have handled the situation that way, someone else may have handled it the best way for themselves. I think it is too much to ask of people not to judge in their own heads; that would be a huge accomplishment and would probably take a lot of work, more than most of us might be capable of. But certainly we’re all capable of keeping our thoughts and opinions to ourselves. Because that is just what they are— opinions. And our opinions shouldn’t ruin another’s life, but that is what gos- sip can do. When I recently heard from a woman I met at the gym that she married her best friend’s husband after her best friend died, I could have immediately judged this in so many ways. “How could she?” I might have asked. “Doesn’t she have any loyalty to her friend?” I might think. However, I do not know the facts. Actually, I got the distinct impression from hearing the short version of the story that before her friend died, she gave her blessings to the idea of such a marriage. That changes everything, and without that piece of knowledge, any one of us could have pilloried this woman for being disloyal to her best friend. We can never know all the facts of any situation; and even if we do, we can never be in someone else’s shoes or, more accu- rately, in their minds. Hence, we never have the right to judge another person’s situation or decisions. As difficult as it may be, let us try to assume the best about others. And bar- ring that, let us at least keep our negative thoughts to ourselves, where they belong. Because the next time something happens, it could be you they can’t wait to discuss. O

Michele Herenstein is a freelance journalist living in the Berkshire Hills of Massachusetts. She can be reached at [email protected].

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 39 Gaza Tunnels Significantly Increase In 2009

The Middle East Newsline reports and confirms that the Hamas regime has approved a huge increase in the number of smuggling tunnels from the Gaza Strip to neighboring Egypt. Palestinian sources said tunnels that span the Gaza Strip to Egypt’s Sinai

“We can get anything for anybody at almost any time,” a Palestinian involved in the tunnel industry said.

Peninsula have more than doubled in 2009. They cited the Israeli and Egyptian clo- sure of their borders as well as increasing Gazan demand for consumer goods. “We can get anything for anybody at almost any time,” a Palestinian involved in the tunnel industry said. The Hamas regime approved the sharp increase of tunnels in the wake of the war with Israel in January 2009. They said the number of tunnels skyrocketed from about 700 to 1,500 over the last eight months. “Hamas directly controls about 100 tunnels and this sup- plies the government and security forces,” the Palestinian said. “Whenever they need something fast, they turn to private tunnel operators.” In August, tunnel operators began smuggling luxury cars from Egypt to the Gaza Strip. Over the last two months, the sources said about 100 late model cars were dismantled in Egypt, transported through the tunnels in parts, and reassem- bled in the Gaza Strip. The price per car was reported at $20,000. Tunnels marked the largest industry in the Gaza Strip. About 30,000 people are employed in the smuggling industry, with diggers earning about $30 day. The number of tunnels discov- ered and destroyed by Egypt or Israel marked less than one percent of the smuggling network. (Israel Resource Review) O 40 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The Shmuz On The Parashah

We Have Yichus wicked people, her prayers weren’t accept- BY R’ BEN TZION SHAFIER ed. This seems to be a direct contradiction. Two systems of merit: Who I am vs. And Yitzchak prayed intensely opposite who my father is. There are two systems his wife because she was barren. And involved in weighing a person’s merits. Hashem listened to him, and his wife The first system is based on the individ- Rivkah became pregnant. ual: Who am I, and what have I accom- —Bereishis 25:21 plished in this world? Based on where I Hashem answered Yitzchak’s prayers started, based on the talents and abilities and not Rivkah’s. The Imahos were all bar- given to me, how far did I go? How ren. Not simply incapable of having chil- much did I change? That is the system dren, they lacked the very organs neces- used to measure me when I leave this sary to conceive. Knowing this, Yitzchak earth. Who am I now, compared to who and Rivkah davened for a miracle. They I was when I started? each stood in their opposite corners, However, there is a second system that imploring, entreating, and begging comes into play when a person stands in Hashem to allow them to have a child. front of Hashem during davening. After 20 years of pleading, Hashem grant- When the son of a tzaddik stands in ed the miracle—Rivkah became pregnant. front of Hashem. The following parable However, the pasuk says, “Hashem lis- helps us understand this system. tened to his prayers.” Rashi makes the A loyal friend of the king had a son observation that it was to his prayers that who turned to bad ways. When petition-

The merit of his father who stands for him carries him far beyond his own arguments.

Hashem listened and not to hers. Rashi ing the king to have mercy, he doesn’t explains that this is because Yitzchak was present his case based on the merit of his the child of a tzaddik, whereas Rivkah son—he asks the king to remember who was the child of a rasha (wicked person). he is. He asks the king to remember all Since there is no comparison between the years of loyal service that he provid- the prayers of a tzaddik who is the child ed, to ignore the faults of his son, and to of tzaddik to the prayers of a tzaddik who remember the love and devotion that he is the child of a rasha, Hashem answered has proven to the king. his prayers. So, too, when the son of a tzaddik Wasn’t Rivkah greater because she comes in front of Hashem, it may well be overcame her upbringing? The problem that his merit alone isn’t sufficient to with this Rashi is that we know that a change the judgment. Based on his merit person isn’t judged according to where alone, he may not deserve whatever it is he is now, but according to where he that he is requesting. But the merit of his came from. The fact that Rivkah came father who stands for him carries him far from “lowly stock” and yet managed to beyond his own arguments. overcome her upbringing is to her cred- Rivkah stood alone. When Rivkah it—she is even greater because of it. In stood in front of Hashem, she was a very fact, just one pasuk earlier, we were told holy woman. But, as great as she was, her that Rivkah was the daughter of Besuel, merit alone was not sufficient to bring the sister of Lavan, and from a city of forth the type of miracle needed. When devious people. Yitzchak stood in front of Hashem, he Rashi explains that the Torah repeats was effectively twice as tall as Rivkah, her lineage there to show to us how great because his own merit and the merit of she was: Even though her father was his father were working for him. It may wicked, even though her brother was well be that Rivkah herself was greater wicked, and even though she came from a because she had overcome the obstacles town of wicked people, she was righteous. of her father’s house, but in terms of ask- Precisely because she came from the ing mercy from Hashem, she stood alone. house of wicked people and wasn’t nega- Therefore, Hashem listened to Yitzchak’s tively influenced, she was considered prayer and not to Rivkah’s. greater than if she had been born into a What right do I have to expect house of holy people. Yet here we see that because she came from the house of Continued on Page 43 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 41 such as metal or glass. a lock. • Put out the flames when adults leave the room. Keeping Your Family Safe At Home • Make a fire escape plan for your fam- Prevent Fires Caused By Heating: ily. Find two exits out of every room. Pick • Space heaters need space. Keep them a meeting place outside. Practice makes at least three feet away from things that perfect—hold a family fire drill at least can burn, such as curtains or stacks of twice each year. newspaper. Always turn off heaters when • Install smoke alarms on every level of Fire-Prevention Tips leaving the room or going to bed. your home. There are two kinds of smoke • Have a serviceperson inspect chim- alarms: photoelectric and ionization. If neys, fireplaces, wood and coal stoves, possible, get some of each kind, or buy This past year we have, unfortunately, any shrubs or bushes. and central furnaces once a year. Have “combination” smoke alarms that have experienced a number of severe home them cleaned when necessary. both types of sensors. fires, including some deadly ones. I Prevent Fires Caused By Matches • Keep things that can burn away from • Put them inside or near every bed- received a mailing this week from the And Lighters: your fireplace or wood stove, and keep a room. Test them monthly to make sure Woodmere Volunteer Fire Department • Many young children are badly glass or metal screen in front of your fire- they work. Put in new batteries once a year. with a list of fire-prevention tips, which I burned or die playing with matches and place. • Know how to put out a small pan fire felt were so important that I am reprint- lighters. by sliding a lid over the flames. ing the information for anyone who has • Store matches and lighters in a Prevent Fires Caused By Gasoline: • Teach every family member to “Stop, not seen this flyer. Fire safety and survival locked cabinet. • Gasoline is very dangerous. Inside a Drop, Roll, and Cool” if clothes catch fire: begin with everyone in your household • If you must keep matches or lighters garage or home, gasoline vapors can Drop immediately to the ground, crossing being prepared. Please follow the safety in your jacket or purse, put them in a explode with just a tiny spark. your hands over your chest, and roll over advice from the Home Safety Council to place where children cannot see or touch • It is best not to keep any gasoline at and over or back and forth to put out the reduce the chance of fire in your home: them. home. If you must keep some, use a spe- flames. Cool the burned area with cool cial safety container. water and seek medical attention for seri- Prevent Fires Caused By Cooking: Prevent Fires Caused By Smoking: • If you can, keep the container in an ous burns. • Always stay in the kitchen while • Use “fire-safe” cigarettes and smoke outdoor shed away from your home. • Consider having a home fire sprinkler cooking. outside. Close all the openings. system installed in your new home, or • Keep things that can burn, such as • Use large, deep ashtrays and place • Never bring or use gasoline indoors. when you remodel. dishtowels, paper or plastic bags, and cur- them on sturdy surfaces such as tables. Use it as a motor fuel only. • Learn how and when to use a fire tains, at least three feet away from the • Douse cigarette and cigar butts with extinguisher. O range top. water before dumping them in the trash. Prevent Fires Caused By Other • Before cooking, roll up sleeves and Products: Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. use oven mitts. Loose-fitting clothes can Prevent Fires Caused By Candles: • Read the label of everything you buy. mortgage broker with over 20 years of experience, touch a hot burner and catch fire. • Allow candles to be lit only when an If you see the words “Caution,” offering full-service residential and commercial • Always stay by the grill when cook- adult is in the room. Do not allow chil- “Warning,” “Danger,” or “Flammable,” be real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian Mortgage) in ing. Your grill may stay hot for a long dren to keep candles or incense in their very careful. the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. time. Keep children and pets away. rooms. • Close the lid on all dangerous prod- She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are • Keep grills at least ten feet away from • Always use stable candleholders ucts and put them away after using them. encouraged to send questions or comments to other objects, including the house and made of material that won’t catch fire, • Store them away in a safe place with [email protected].

42 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Mordechai Yaffe, Ph.D, could not be more When we arrived at the Ocean Place Restful and successful rejuvenation Continued from Page 37 proud. “Our new coordinators picked up Hotel and Spa we were dazzled by the was had by all. We are returned home directly from where their predecessors beautiful oceanside location. The board- with a new outlook and many new Mesivta Ateres Yaakov’s Blood left off, making a seamless transition for walk was breathtaking. Of course the friends. This maiden voyage will surely be Drive A Big Success! this blood drive. This means that our hotel itself offered all the spa facilities the beginning of more happenings to talmidim have been directly responsible your heart could dream of. But the real come. I heard someone went home and for collecting over 300 pints in the past entertainment was the program planned called to sign up for next year. We all year. The chinuch of chesed is obvious by Elisheva and Netanya—cake decorat- want to again give a warm and grateful with a blood drive, but we added to it by ing, challah baking, watercolor painting thank-you to Elisheva and Netanya for dedicating it as a refuah sheleimah for inspired by the sunrise over the ocean, recognizing the need for this type of Rav Binyomin Kamenetzky and as a jewelry making, an afternoon of shop- event. See you in 2010! O zechus for the release of Gilad Schalit.” O ping in the ballroom of the hotel with every vendor you can imagine, picture- ‘Triumph Of The Spirit’ To Be Time To Recharge frame designing, shiurim by noted Screened Across The Nation By Fern Wunsch speakers, health issues addressed by two By Fern Sidman I want to applaud the “Time to widely known specialists, swimming, Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, founder Recharge” retreat. This three-day, women- sunrise walks on the beach and board- and president of Hineni, the internation- only spa event was the brainstorm of two walk, evening entertainment by two ally renowned Torah outreach organiza- L–R: Natan Cohen and Josh Rahmanan, creative Lakewood gals, Elisheva Brotsky female performers who rocked the hall tion, has announced that her new docu- MAY seniors who coordinated and Netanya Margolese. with song and comedy—what a surprise mentary, Triumph of the Spirit, will be the blood drive. Some 175 ladies from every neighbor- to me! screened in several major cities across hood in the metropolitan New York area Every Jewish event must have food. the nation in the month of December. Over 100 pints of blood were donated signed up for a first-time unique experi- Grunwald Caterers lavished us with This most poignant and inspirational at the Mesivta Ateres Yaakov semi-annual ence. The purpose of the three-day meals and service that paralleled the film explores the Rebbetzin’s experiences blood drive. The drive was coordinated enclave was to leave behind your stress, finest of restaurants. The late-night during the Holocaust and depicts the by seniors Natan Cohen and Josh your families, and your jobs and refill treats featured gorgeous pastries and power of faith in G-d during the most Rahmanan for the benefit of Bikur your cup and concentrate on you for a confectionaries that awakened the kid Cholim. The mesivta’s menahel, Rabbi change. in all of us. Continued on Page 44

THE SHMUZ Continued from Page 41 Hashem to listen to me? This concept has great relevance to our lives. There may be many times when we think about approaching Hashem for help and may say to ourselves, “Am I worthy? Do I have the right to ask, let alone expect, Hashem to grant this request? Am I so great that Hashem should change the course of events for me?” And the answer may well be no—our merit alone is not sufficient. Based on who we are, based on what we have done, it may very well be that we have no right to expect these things from Hashem. However, Chazal were very wise when they crafted our tefillos; they are based on invoking the merits of the Avos. When we make requests from Hashem, we begin by asking in the merit of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. As children of the Avos, we request that Hashem remember their righteousness and answer our requests in their merit, not our own. By ourselves, we may not merit health, well-being, or parnasah; but we ask that in the z’chus of our fore- fathers Hashem have mercy. Understanding this concept can help us relate to the unique power and effect that our tefillos can have, well above what we may be entitled to. O

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 43 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Milwaukee campus. The screen- On December 9, the film will be to move the embassy to the Relocation Act of 2009.” Continued from Page 43 ing will be held at the Zelazo shown at 7:30 p.m. in Los Israeli capital based on national Senator John Kyl of Arizona, Center and is sponsored by the Angeles at the Museum of security reasons. one of the original sponsors of devastating period in modern Alliance of Jewish Reconnection. Tolerance at the Simon The introduction of the legis- the 1995 Jerusalem Embassy Jewish history. On December 7, the women’s Wiesenthal Center. Rebbetzin lation was announced by the Law and a cosponsor of the The locations and dates for division of the Atlanta Scholars Jungreis will be introducing the bill’s sponsor, Senator Sam new Jerusalem Embassy the upcoming screenings are: Kollel will be sponsoring a film at each venue and subse- Brownback of Kansas, at the Relocation Act of 2009, dis- December 2 in Denver, Colorado, screening of the film at 7:30 p.m. quent to each screening she will recent Jerusalem Conference cussed the importance of mov- December 6 at 7:30 p.m., at the at Congregation Beth Jacob, 1855 be speaking about the impact of that took place in Washington, ing the American Embassy to University of Wisconsin at La Vista Road in Atlanta, Georgia. this most important film as well D.C. The Jerusalem Conference Jerusalem with NCYI Executive as taking audience questions. provided a unique forum for the Vice President Rabbi Pesach For further information, discussion of Israel’s national Lerner during the recent please visit www.hineni.org or priorities, including the impor- Jerusalem Conference in contact Hineni at 516-371-9202 or tance of a united Jerusalem, as Washington, D.C. [email protected]. O well as the challenges and exter- “Senator Kyl expressed his sin- nal threats faced by Israel and cere belief in the need to move Young Israel Movement the West. Members of the NCYI the American Embassy in Israel Praises Legislation To Executive Board and profession- to Jerusalem and reiterated his Move U.S. Embassy To al staff were present when the commitment to ensuring that his Jerusalem announcement was made. colleagues in the Senate under- The National Council of “It is preposterous for the stand the significance of this leg- Young Israel (NCYI) praised legis- U.S. Embassy to remain in Tel islation,” said NCYI Executive lation introduced in the U.S. Aviv rather than Jerusalem, Vice President Rabbi Pesach Senate which would require the when every other American Lerner. “Passage of this legislation United States to relocate the Embassy throughout the world will send a clear and powerful American Embassy in Israel is found in those nations’ capi- message to the world that the from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. The tal cities,” said NCYI President United States acknowledges that Jerusalem Embassy Relocation Shlomo Z. Mostofsky. “This leg- Jerusalem is the duly recognized Act of 2009 calls on the U.S. State islation will put an end to a capital of the State of Israel.” O Department to eliminate the practice that has been used by waiver that has been used by U.S. Presidents since 1995, Flatbush Basketball United States presidents for the which prevents the American League, Week 2 Recap past 14 years to prevent the Embassy from being moved to Shnitzel King 49, Burtoluccis American Embassy from being its rightful place in the Israeli 38. After trailing 30-20 late in the relocated to Jerusalem. Although capital, and sends a troubling third, King went on a 29-8 run to the 1995 Jerusalem Embassy Law message to the world about the end the game. They were led by requires that the embassy be United States’ stance on the Asher Abramson’s 16 in that moved to Jerusalem, there was a future of Jerusalem. We whole- stretch. presidential waiver included in heartedly support this legisla- Flamin Burger 43, Jerry the legislation, which enables tion and urge the Senate to pass U.S. presidents to avoid having the Jerusalem Embassy Continued on Page 46

44 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 45 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Tzvi Moller returned after his week one Continued from Page 44 absence and put on a performance everyone expected from him with 27 for Meyer’s Studio 39. After losing a sizable Jewish Press. lead, Joseph Cohen hit two late three Mountain Food 31, Harrico Pharmacy 11. pointers for Studios to make it close, but A.Y. Gross led Mountain Foods Junior Dovid Solomon and Co. were too hot as squad to a 2-0 mark with 15. Flamin’ held on. Lazer Marble 43, Schreiber’s Bakery 31. Friedman’s Market 39, Global Leasing 37. After winning the championship last Chesky Itzkowitz carried his team on his year, Lazer Marble is looking very solid shoulders, scoring 27 of his team’s 39 through the first two games. Reuven including the two free throws that Tepper led Marble while, Azriel clinched the win. Ira’s Market goes to 1-1. Glieberman and A.Z Friedman combined Subsational 54, Boro Rug and Carpet 47. for 23 for the bakery. Boro looked much more competitive in Judaica Place 37, Midwood Lumber 36. week 2 against a formidable Subsational With a packed house on hand to watch squad. Mordechai Reiser had his second this nail biter, Avrumi Frischman hit two The Flatbush Basketball League’s Chaim Silbers Lobos team takes a break in the action. straight high powered week with 33. free throws with two seconds left to give Gary’s Subs is now 2-0 to start the season. Judaica Place the win. He finished with the win. Ariel Peretz had 19 in the win and Azkara For Rav Svei, zt’l, To The Printing Factory 53, Aura Electric 38. 21. Shaya Greenspan had 16 in the loss. Avrumi Solomon had 18 in the loss. Highlight Agudah Convention’s The game was closer than the score seems Lobos 71, Netzach Meats 66. After a first En Vogue Studios 58, Five Town’s Jewish Motzaei Shabbos Keynote Session, as Aura was in this one until late. Yoni week bye, Chaim’s Lobos got off to a hot Times 56. In the first overtime game of the November 28 Eisenberger knocked down 17 in the win. start as Eliyahu Klein led the balanced season, En Vogue hung on with clutch The Motzaei Shabbos keynote session TSI Exterior 25, Quality Carpet 23. In a attack with 23. Moshe Pinter had a season shooting from Avrumi Katz. He led with 29. at Agudath Israel of America’s upcoming physical low scoring battle, Binyamin high with 42 points for Netzach. Sweet Choice 62, Mountain Food 55. 87th National Convention will feature a Lipshitz was able to lead his team to their Pizza Nosh 58, Kold Kuts 55. In an excit- This game wasn’t close till late as Sweet tribute to Rabbi Elya Svei, zt’l, rosh second straight win. He ended with 13. ing game in came down to D. Koplovich Choice avenged their week one loss. hayeshiva of the Talmudical Yeshiva of Jewish Press 47, Creative Lighting 30. hitting a three at the buzzer to give Nosh Yisroel Mesch had 25. O Philadelphia and long-time member of the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah, whose petirah several months ago was a terrible blow to the Torah world. Internationally renowned for his brilliance in Torah and uncompromising promotion of authen- tic Torah values, Rabbi Svei was regarded as one of Klal Yisrael’s most illustrious leaders. Born in 1924, Rabbi Svei arrived in the United States from Europe as a young boy. At the age of 20, he joined the Lakewood Yeshiva, where he emerged as an outstanding student of Rav Aharon Kotler, zt’l, in whose footsteps he would follow, combining intensive Torah study with activism on behalf of the Torah community both here and in Eretz Yisrael. Rabbi Svei was a son-in-law of Rabbi Avraham Kalmanovitz, the founder of the Brooklyn branch of the Mir Yeshiva, and a brother-in-law of its late rosh hayeshiva, Rabbi Shmuel Berenbaum, zt’l. Offering divrei hisorirus in memory of Rabbi Svei will be the Philadelphia rosh hayeshiva and Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah member Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetzky, shlita, who was Rabbi Svei’s partner for approximately half a century in the Philadelphia Yeshiva; and Rabbi Svei’s eldest son, Rabbi Yehuda Svei, shlita, rosh yeshiva at the Philadelphia Yeshiva. In addition, the Motzaei Shabbos keynote session will feature excerpts of some of Rabbi Elya Svei’s most memorable addresses at Agudath Israel gatherings. “Rav Elya would frequently use the Agudah podium to enunciate his clear da’as Torah on the most difficult issues of the day,” notes Rabbi Labish Becker, Agudath Israel’s executive director and convention program coordinator. “Perhaps the most fitting tribute to his memory, and the most effective way to perpetuate his legacy, is to hear his own fiery words again, and to rededicate ourselves to the ideals he expressed.” Yet another highlight of the keynote session will be an address by special over- seas guest, Rabbi Doniel Alter. Rabbi Alter, son of the Pnei Menachem, zt’l, is one of the most sought after speakers on the international scene. Also addressing the gathering on Motzaei Shabbos will be Rabbi Moshe Tuvia Leiff, rav, Agudath Israel of 46 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Avenue L, and Rabbi Chaim Dovid s”xc Zwiebel, executive vice president of Agudath Israel of America. The convention will be held Thursday through Sunday, November 26-29, at the Hilton Hotel in East Brunswick, New Jersey. The beautiful new venue is located just a short drive from many major Orthodox communities on the East Coast. The Motzaei Shabbos session (in addition to other plenary sessions) will be broadcast live to many locations around the country. For information about arranging an audio-visual broadcast in your community, call 212-797- 9000, ext. 266. O

Other Agudath Israel News Issues objection to U.S. State Department religious freedom report. Reacting to the U.S. State Department’s recent release of its “International Religious Freedom Report” for 2009, Agudath Israel of America’s executive vice president Rabbi David Zwiebel issued the following statement: “Much of the criticism of Israel in the U.S. Department of State’s International Religious Freedom Report for 2009 is misplaced. “The report’s disapproval of traditional Jewish religious law’s role regarding certain personal status issues in Israel—a role enshrined in an agreement made by her founders more than 60 years ago— ignores the country’s self-declared identity as a Jewish state. Only a common Jewish denominator of religious standards can preserve the integrity of Israel as a Jewish state. “The report’s disapproval of El Al’s respect for the Jewish Sabbath, the closing of roads in religious neighborhoods on the Sabbath, pre-marriage counseling of Jewish couples and limi- tations on proselytization likewise reflect obliviousness to Israel’s relationship to Judaism. “The United States is rightly proud of its tradition as a republic that embraces no official religion. But numerous other countries, with equal pride, define themselves as Muslim or Christian. One country was created as a Jewish state. Israel’s choice of timeless Jewish tradition in the public realm and with regard to issues of personal status requires no apology. Criticism of Israel for being true to its foundational ideal is ill-conceived.” Religious Workers Visa Program Extended. To the delight of many American religious organizations, when President Obama signed the Homeland Security Appropriations Act on October 28, he also put into effect a three-year extension of the Religious Worker Visa Program (RWVP). Previously scheduled to expire at the end of October, the program will now extend to September 30, 2012. The victory was the result of an intensive lobbying effort by several religious organizations, and was a top priority of Agudath Israel of America. Nearly 20 years ago, Congress enacted the RWVP, a new “special immigration” visa category that would, for the first time, allow foreign religious workers and functionaries to come to the United States and, under the sponsorship of American religious organizations, help

Continued on Page 48 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 47 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS recent years with the Hebrew Immigrant Continued from Page 47 Aid Society, has remained vigilant in making sure the RWVP remains strong and as serve the needs of their respective com- effective as possible. munities. The legislation authorized up “Over the years at times, because of to 5,000 visas for religious workers and the unique decentralized structure of was subject to a three-year “sunset provi- the Jewish community and other factors, sion”—thus the need for ongoing reau- we have encountered proposals and thorization. requirements that could have limited “This has been an important program our smooth access to the program,” for the Orthodox Jewish community,” observes the Agudah representative, said Rabbi Abba Cohen, Agudath Israel’s “but, along with our partners, we have Washington Office director and coun- been successful in overcoming these sel, one of a handful of religious advo- hurdles—and hopefully will continue to cates who helped craft and promote the do so in the future.” O Honorees Rabbi Arnold and Mrs. Zipporah Marans original legislation. “We receive numer- with dinner co-chair Marion Crespi (at right). ous calls throughout the year from AMIT Chanukah Boutique, community leaders from around the November 23 country seeking guidance on how local AMIT’S Shoshana Chapter will be spon- Arthur Dubroff of West Orange, New Hungarian Holocaust and wrote the Jewish institutions might participate in soring their annual popular Chanukah Jersey, and William and Ronnie arrangements for the Budapest produc- the program.” Boutique at the JCC of West Hempstead, Slochowsky of New York City. The 2009 tion of the musical Fiddler on the Roof. For the Jewish community, the 711 Dogwood Avenue, on Monday night, Annual Dinner was chaired by Ina and The Budapest Klezmer band is made RWVP has been useful in cities large November 23, 7:00-10:00 p.m. There will David Tropper of Riverdale, New York. up of Istvan Kohan, clarinet; Bence and small, but particularly helpful in be a large variety of vendors. O The co-chairs included Marion Crespi of Gazda, violin and vocals; Anna Nagy, remote areas with small Jewish popula- Lawrence, New York; Adrianne and Avi accordion; Gabor Tamas, trombone and tions. The program has been used to Local Residents Honored At 2009 Shapira of New York City; and Robyn and vocals; Gabor Kiss, electric bass; and bring Jewish religious teachers AMIT Annual Dinner Bruce Shoulson of West Orange. O Balasz Vegh, drums and percussion. (rabbeim, moros), cantors (chazzanim), Prominent Cedarhurst residents Rabbi In recent years the orchestra has ritual slaughterers (shochtim), ritual cir- Arnold B. and Zipporah Marans were Budapest Klezmer Band In New achieved great success in Amsterdam, cumcisers (mohelim) and other religious honored at the 2009 AMIT Annual York, December 15-16 Helsinki, Zurich, Barcelona, Stockholm, functionaries and charity workers into Dinner on November 8, at the Grand The Budapest Klezmer Band is rooted Munich, London, and all over North communities where their services are Hyatt New York in New York City. Almost in the musical heartland where klezmer America. required. “These individuals have 500 members, friends, and supporters of and Roma influences have acted upon One of its outstanding productions, com- played critical roles in serving the AMIT from throughout the tri-state area one another for centuries. The seven posed and written by Ferenc Javori, was the unique needs of community institu- attended. All proceeds benefitted AMIT’s piece band has long held quite a formida- joint production with the Gyor Ballet, Purim tions—synagogues, schools, communi- network of schools and programs ble reputation throughout Europe and the Holiday. It quickly became an interna- ty centers, social service charities, etc.— throughout Israel, which in recent years North America. tional hit and was performed all over the and have made it possible for Jewish has grown to encompass more than The band is led by its pianist, vocalist, world. The latest hit was the world’s first life in many places to continue and be 20,000 students from kindergarten and composer/arranger, world-famous klezmer musical opera, Bridal Dance, which strengthened,” Rabbi Cohen notes. through junior college. Ferenc Javori, born in Munkachevo, has been performed over 150 times in the Agudath Israel, in close cooperation in Honorees also included Hattie and Ukraine. He studied with survivors of the Budapest Opera House in the last two years.

48 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

In addition, they produced the Rabbi Perl who will speak of sur- silver coins. Anyone interested Slatky, executive vice president of Judaism and those who are in albums The Train 7.40, Yiddishe vival and the creation of a new in participating in the contest of the Nassau University need. For example, he partnered Blues, and Lehaim Rebbe. world of tradition and purity, of should e-mail KosherLatke Medical Center will be recog- with Winthrop Hospital in There are very few orchestras majesty and splendor, of bless- [email protected]. “I nized for helping children with Mineola to open a Sabbath in the world which operate with ings and of peace. created the Kosher Latke Eating special needs. House so observant Jews have a such stylistic consistency from On the flip side, Rabbi Perl Contest to bring lighthearted- In addition, the telethon will place to stay within walking dis- the very beginning as the will also be seen in his bright ness and joy into people’s lives include video footage of the bur- tance of the shul. He is also Budapest Klezmer Band. Fewer yellow apron and large white that is part of this happy holi- ial of the time capsule that took increasing his work at the still cover such a wide spectrum chef’s hat frying latkes for the day,” says Rabbi Perl. To warm place last spring on the grounds Nassau County Correctional of other genres. The Budapest first International Kosher Latke up his culinary skills, celebrity of Chabad of Mineola when the Center in East Meadow to now Klezmer Band has covered a Eating Contest. Eight contest- Chef Jeff Nathan, of Abigail’s sun was in the same position in include women in his Jewish Balletto musical, a traditional ants will have three minutes to restaurant in NYC, showed the sky as the first day of cre- Education Hour. Every week documentary, and multination- eat as many latkes as they can Rabbi Perl how to make the ation, which occurs every 28 challah and grape juice is deliv- al films. while a scorekeeper known as a world’s best latkes. Telethon years. Rabbi Perl asked young ered to the jail by Chabad of In January 2000, the “Latke-ette” counts the number viewers will see a video of Chefs children to insert papers describ- Mineola. For Chanukah, they Budapest Klezmer Band was of latkes consumed. The top Perl and Nathan that also ing what they aspire to be in 28 are also planning to deliver awarded the Zoltan Kodaly three winners will receive includes a latke recipe. years, the next time this will latkes. Prize for the cultivation and Chanukah gelt in the amounts Also on the program, three happen. A membership list of In another innovative pro- propagation of Jewish music by of $360 for first prize, $250 for local teenagers will be admitted the synagogue was also inserted. gram, in conjunction with the the board of trustees of the Pro second prize, and $180 for the into the Good Deeds Hall of During the past year, Rabbi national Cars for Clunkers pro- Culture Foundation of the third prize. Rabbi Perl will pres- Fame and honored for continu- Perl initiated and expanded his gram, Rabbi Perl had his own Hungarian Academy of Sciences. ent all contestants with gifts ing their work helping those programs to help those who In August 2003, the orchestra such as menorahs, books, and who are less fortunate. Larry have fallen through the cracks Continued on Page 50 was also awarded the Artisjus Prize. The Budapest Klezmer Band appeared in October at Heichal Hatarbut in Petach Tikvah, Jerusalem’s Teatron, Nes Ziona, Heichal Hatarbut in Netanya, and in Kiryat Haim’s Teatron Hatzafon. They were accompa- nied for several songs by singers Tzudik Greenwald and Orad Katz. Their success was so great that Levie Kanes will present the Budapest Klezmer Band with Tsudik during Chanukah 2009. The band will appear in the tri-state area in mid-December: December 14, 8:00 p.m. at the BergenPac Theatre, 30 North Van Brunt Steet in Englewood, NJ; December 15, 8:00 p.m. at Town Hall, 123 W.43rd Street in New York City; and December 16, 8:00 p.m., at the Millennium Theatre, 1029 Brighton Beach Ave. in Brooklyn. Order tickets at the National Council of Young Israel, 212-929-1525, ext. 100. O

Chanukah Telethon, December 13 The upcoming Chanukah Telethon is set to include a live chuppah wedding ceremony for a remarriage of a couple from the Former Soviet Union to help revitalize the faith of this immigrant family. “Chanukah is a fes- tival of miracle and during these difficult and challenging economic times, we wanted to share this uplifting moment,” explains Rabbi Anchelle Perl, director of Chabad of Mineola and telethon co-host, “to bring hope, happiness, and joy to the widest community.” The bride and bridegroom are Tatyana and Alex Shalshin who live in Mineola. They graciously accepted this opportunity to broadcast this special moment in their lives with the world, with the wish it would inspire others to know that it’s never too late to accomplish good things in life. The anticipation of excitement and rejoicing is great. The Jewish wedding ceremony is to be officiated by 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 49 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS 516-739-3636. The fundraiser will air Continued from Page 49 Sunday, December 13, 7:00–11:00 p.m. on WLNY TV 10/55 and reach viewers on “Seat for Clunkers” that was seen on Long Island and in the tri-state area with WNBC TV. Those who donated a car a simultaneous webcast at www received a tax deduction and two front .chanukahtelethon.com. O row tickets for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur at Chabad of Mineola. YOSS Class Participates in “Despite our hardship this year having Literary Webcast to deal with an anti-Semitic attack on our On Monday, November 2, the fifth shul, we cannot allow cynicism and grade class at Yeshiva of South Shore par- hatred to dampen our spirits,” says Rabbi ticipated in a webcast, a live broadcast Perl. “Our goal is to continue helping that reached thousands of students those who need money—due to foreclo- throughout the country. The webcast sures, bankruptcy, job loss, etc.—and fur- was based on the series of books The 39 ther expand our charitable work,” Clues. The students were able to partici- explains Rabbi Perl. “Parents of our pate in real time with the hosts and Hebrew School children call us every day authors to solve the mystery of The 39 asking for help and moral support, and Clues. The students worked on activities we want to be there for them.” last week as an introduction to the live This year, Rabbi Perl’s goal is to raise webcast. The activities involved math, $500,000 to further expand the charitable deductive reasoning, problem solving, programs offered by the Chabad of language arts, and geography. During the Mineola. Some of the programs supported actual webcast, the boys were chal- by the Chanukah Telethon include good lenged to discover clues leading to the deed awards for teenagers, drug and AIDS final solution based on one of the 39 prevention outreach, toys for hospitalized Clues books. Also participating live were children, hospital visitation to the lonely, the authors of the first five books. Mrs. children’s matzah factory, bar/bat mitzvah Scheer and Mrs. Weiss are thrilled that for the unaffiliated, and many others. the boys are now motivated to read The Chanukah Telethon fun and festiv- these books as part of their extracurricu- ities will include Rocking DJ Mickey B and lar reading. The boys’ level of excitement entertainers including the Chassidic grew as they wanted to compete with “Dancing Rabbis,” a juggler, a comedian, the students of the other schools. They mentalist David Levitan, and others. A free were so impressed with their abilities to raffle drawing with many fabulous prizes solve the puzzles based on their own will be held. To enter, send an e-mail with knowledge banks. There was so much your name, address, and phone number fun learning, that they didn’t even miss to [email protected]. going to gym! O For more information on the Chanukah Telethon, contact Rabbi Perl at Continued on Page 53

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AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS refugees who were transported to Britain ric painting, and beading classes on environment where children feel com- Continued from Page 50 to escape the Nazi Holocaust. The stu- Wednesdays and Thursdays; and bingo fortable in sharing their vulnerabilities dents also heard from Mrs. Belle on Fridays. The center also has weekly and challenges. Commemoration Of Kristallnacht Silverstein who spoke briefly about her movies, monthly parties with entertain- Said Barry Horowitz, coordinator of At SKA experiences during World War II. ment, and monthly AARP safe driving OHEL’s Long Island Services, “The part- On the nights of November 9–10, 1938, The SKA students were totally classes. To learn more, call Fay Gross, nership between the UJA, OHEL, the JCC, gangs of Nazi youth roamed through absorbed by what they saw and walked director, at 718-327-0297 or 718-327-0418. O community schools, and of course, the Jewish neighborhoods breaking the win- away with a taste of what children saw, parents themselves sends a clear mes- dows of Jewish businesses and homes, felt, and heard during those terrible OHEL’s sage of critical importance felt by all burning synagogues, and looting. To com- times. O ‘Mastering The Art Of Rapport’ involved in working together for the memorate this terrible event, Mrs. Helen A crowd of over 100 parents and teach- sake of the kids.” O Spirn, principal of SKA, invited the SKA YILB Senior Citizens Programs ers attended OHEL mental health servic- students on November 11 to view part of The Young Israel of Wavecrest And es’ parenting workshop entitled Village Of Lawrence Offers Free the movie Into the Arms of Strangers. Bayswater hosts a senior citizen center at “Mastering the Art of Rapport” this past Parking For Holiday Season 2009 Written and directed by Mark 2716 Healy Avenue. It features a glatt Wednesday evening, November 4. Mayor Simon Felder and the Board of Jonathan Harris, produced by Deborah kosher lunch program and daily exercise Organized together with Yeshiva Trustees of the Village of Lawrence wish- Oppenheimer, and narrated by Judi classes. In addition, there is a Hebrew Darchei Torah, Bnos Bais Yaakov, and the es the community happy holidays by Dench, this feature-length documentary class on Mondays; an arthritis exercise JCC of Greater Five Towns, the evening offering free parking on weekends from film recounts the story of the child workshop on Tuesdays; plaster craft, fab- illuminated practical approaches to November 21-December 27. strengthening one’s interaction skills Where. Parking Field # 3 on the north with children and students. side of Central Avenue and Parking Field Rabbi Shmuel Strickman, menahel of # 4 on the south side of Central Avenue. Yeshiva Darchei Torah, who provided the When. 8:00-12:00 a.m., Saturdays and introductory remarks, beautifully encap- Sundays, November 21, 22, 28, 29, sulated the power and responsibilities December 5, 6, 12, 13, 19, 20, 26, 27. O that we have in these special relationships with our children. Shalom Singles Semimonthly Rabbi Donny Frank, M.Ed, a licensed Roundtable, November 24 marriage and family therapist who heads Shalom Singles (40+) of OHEL’s Monsey and Northern New Jersey Congregation Beth Sholom of branches where he counsels families and Lawrence announces a unique discus- conducts seminars and trainings, deliv- sion group, as part of its Roundtable ered the keynote address. series, on Tuesday, November 24: Rabbi Frank, who is well known for The “C” Word: children. Children of engaging workshops, empowered partici- divorced and widowed parents, both pants with practical life skills to help young and mature; relationships with deepen their connections between them- your children during and after the selves and their children and/or students. divorce or grieving process; stepchildren Rabbi Frank shared insights in respond- and potential stepchildren; when to meet ing productively rather than recklessly to At the Kristallnacht commemoration. children’s behavior and creating a safe Continued on Page 54

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 53 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS their unique warmth, the Rebbe’s heart- Continued from Page 53 felt melodies, and inspiring divrei Torah. The davening will be conducted at the them, how to form relationships with Young Israel of Long Beach while the them, and working towards developing a tishen will take place at the Jackson Hotel. blended family. The session will be mod- The Rebbe will stay at the home of Rabbi erated by Mark Krauss, PsyD., a noted Chaim Wakslak where he will receive peo- local psychologist. ple seeking his advice and blessings dur- This roundtable will be of interest to ing his visit on Motzaei Shabbos. adult singles with children of all ages, to Rabbi Wakslak relates that he was a singles developing relationships with disciple of the Rebbe’s father, Reb potential mates with children, and to Avrohom Abba, zt’l while growing up in families who are already blended. Newark and views him as a significant The roundtable will take place at influence in his life and in the role of rav Congregation Beth Sholom of Lawrence, that he has established for himself in the 390 Broadway (Washington Avenue Long Beach kehillah. Understandably, the entrance) in Lawrence. The event will be visit by the current Admor of Pittsburgh preceded by tea and coffee at 7:45 p.m. represents an indescribable honor and The discussion group will begin precisely sense of satisfaction in the knowledge at 8:00 and will be followed by a dessert that the Pittsburgher Chassidus is thriv- reception. ing and being perpetuated under the Shalom Singles Roundtables are con- leadership of Reb Mordechai. ducted semimonthly on the second and The previous Rebbe, Reb Avrohom fourth Tuesday of each month. All are Abba, zt’l, was the son of the first welcome and admission is free. To be Pittsburgher Rebbe, Reb Yosef, zt’l. In 1926, placed on the Shalom singles mail list, Reb Yosef, a direct descendent of the please contact [email protected]. O Nadvorna dynasty, moved from Hungary to the American city of Pittsburgh. Reb Pittsburgher Rebbe To Visit Yosef gained fame for remaining a Rebbe Community Of Long Beach, of European style, serving his Creator in November 27-28 his quiet corner and ascending to high The visit of the Pittsburgher Rebbe, levels of holiness. shlita, Rabbi Mordechai Yissochor Ber Every day Reb Yosef would say a Leifer from Ashdod, is scheduled for tefillah, “Ribono Shel Olam, I realize that I Shabbos, November 27-28. The Rebbe will am in America. Please save me and my spend Shabbos, parashas VaYeitzei as a children from becoming influenced.” In guest of the Long Beach community this way, the Rebbe raised his children in under the leadership of its mara d’asra, the atmosphere and manner he brought HaRav Chaim Wakslak, shlita. from Europe. When his sons reached A large attendance is expected at the yeshiva age, he would send them back to tefillos and tishen, which are famous for learn in Europe. Indeed, two of his sons

54 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES were in Europe when World War II broke By means of love and warmth, he drew institutions, Pittsburgh is still a center for Ashdod, the Rebbe’s tishen attract many out, and they perished during the war. more and more secular Jews to Torah and Yiddishkeit. Chassidim whose Rebbes do not reside in Reb Abba, the lone survivor, lived in Yiddishkeit. On Shabbos, he would go The uniqueness of the Pittsburger mos- Ashdod but who still want to be elevated Tchernowitz, Romania and married the from shul to shul and convince the reli- dos is that they serve all segments of the by a warm and inspiring tish on Shabbos daughter of the Nadvorna Rebbe, Reb gious Jews to wear their taleisim openly community. In the Pittsburgh center for and yom tov. In addition, the tishen Isomor, zt’l. They emigrated to America in the streets on Shabbos. This way, he Torah, shiurim are given by the best lec- attract many traditional Jews, immi- shortly after the war. He started his lead- explained, the presence of Shabbos and turers of the various Chasidishe and grants, and even secular Jews, who taste ership in Newark, New Jersey, where he Judaism would become evident. He Litvishe kehilos. In the beis horoah, the Chassidus for the first time, in addition to built a large shul and community center. would gather children attending public dayanim of the Belz, Gur, and Viznitz the many families of Pittsburgher Although he was a Rebbe from a previ- schools and organize activities for them kehilos unite to serve the entire town. Chassidim themselves. Pittsburgh is now ous generation, one who could have led a where they would be introduced to the The Talmud Torah, which just recently considered a large and influential group of eminent chassidim, he preferred warmth of Torah. completed a new spacious building, is Chassidus with many followers and to spread Yiddishkeit amongst secular In 1981, Rabbi Avrohom Abba called his staffed by melamdim of different back- admirers. American Jews and inspire them with his son, Rabbi Mordechai (the current Rebbe, grounds, and the yeshiva ketanah and The Pittsburgh Chassidic community warmth and ahavas Yisrael. shlita), requesting that he move to Israel gedolah have mobilized the most capable has been growing constantly. Most of the Under his inspiration, many Jews and open a Chassidic yeshiva in Ashdod. bnei Torah of the various kehilos to serve families live in Ashdod; however, there chose Torah education for their children, The Rebbe answered his father’s call, and as magidei shiur and mashgichim. Indeed, are Pittsburgher Chasidim in Jerusalem, and many generations of Torah Jews owe in the winter of 1981 the yeshiva opened. the dayan of Gur is the Pittsburgh rosh Bnei Brak, Beis Chilkiya, London, New their Yiddishkeit to the “Tchernowitzer Through the difficult years of building yeshiva! The Rebbe himself joins the York, New Jersey, and California. Each Rebbe” as he was called in Newark. After the yeshiva together with his father, the talmidim during seder, delivers shiurim, chassid has a unique relationship with his father’s passing in 1966, Reb Abba Rebbe was the rosh yeshiva. They built a and observes from close the development the Rebbe, yet all feel that the Rebbe is moved to Pittsburgh. From then on he cheder for children, and a full time kollel of every talmid with encouragement and their loving father. The Chassidim are in was known as the Pittsburgher Rebbe. which attracted newlywed couples to the chizuk. A special program encourages constant contact with the Rebbe, asking While still in Pittsburgh, his great love town, and can thus be considered the cor- bochurim to memorize and to be tested for his guidance and receiving the Rebbe’s for Eretz Yisrael motivated the nerstone of the third-largest chareidi on hundreds of blatt Gemara by heart. advice and blessing. Pittsburgher Rebbe, zt’l to open a kollel in community in Eretz Yisrael. Those who achieve are crowned with For appointments and more informa- Yerushalayim in the name of his late Rabbi Avrohom Abba’s fame started to honorary titles like “moreinu” and tion call 0798-554-3634 or 0797-668-6174. O father. In a letter to his students he spread far and wide, and many flocked to “chover.” The yeshiva has earned a reputa- expressed his “jealousy” of those who him to seek his guidance and blessings. tion for its high standard of lomdus and OHEL Offers Unique Separation study Torah in Eretz Yisrael. However, his Stories of miracles, especially for those bekius that are instilled along with And Divorce Certificate Program, sense of mission did not let him leave who were childless, became well publi- Chassidus and good midos, which has December 8, 21 Pittsburgh. Only some years later, when cized. His heartfelt tefillos attracted made it an attraction for better bochurim The challenges of separation and he felt the time was right, he moved to many, and this tzadik who had tried all from all over. divorce impact an increasing number of Eretz Yisrael. his years to hide his greatness became a The mosdos include a network of kolle- couples and families in our community. He settled in the port town of Ashdod. famous figure. lim at all hours of the day and an institu- Many turn to mental health, rabbinic, In this secular town, the few religious Jews Upon his passing, the Rebbe, zt’l, was tion for publishing the divrei Torah of the and other helping professionals for inter- residing there tried not to draw too much succeeded by his only son, the current Rebbes. Together all the Pittsburgher mos- vention and support. OHEL is committed attention to themselves. The Pittsburgher Rebbe, shlita. Under the Rebbe’s leader- dos form a united fortress of Torah and to ensuring that our community’s profes- Rebbe, however, as a continuation of his ship, the mosdos have expanded and Chassidus from which the entire chareidi sionals have the resources and skills efforts to spread Yiddishkeit, decided to flourished. Even in today’s chareidi community in Ashdod benefits. change this town for the better. Ashdod, with its many communities and Being the largest Chasidishe “court” in Continued on Page 56

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 55 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS after show tickets to be had. Continued from Page 55 The great show will take place on Saturday night, December 5, at 8:30 p.m. needed to effectively address the issues at the synagogue building (on East 67th facing these individuals and families. Street in Manhattan). The program will The Mel and Phyllis Zachter Institute also feature Cantor Sol Zim, with maestro for Training at Ohel will offer an Dr. Mordechai Sobol conducting and advanced certificate program and work- with Cantor Daniel Gildar on piano. The shop series for experienced helping pro- Evening of Celebration will mark 120 fessionals seeking to enhance their years of synagogue music. expertise in working with individuals For Cantor Benny Rogosnitzky, cantor- and families impacted by divorce and ial music is a unifying force in the very separation. Presenters with the highest broad and diverse Jewish communities. “I level of clinical expertise will provide believe that the tefillah of chazanus has a problem-solving strategies for assessment way of penetrating people’s hearts,” he and treatment, and valuable insights into said. “Music is like an international lan- related clinical, legal, and cultural issues. guage—it’s even inter-denominational, “Separation and Divorce: Assessment, enjoyed by Jews and non-Jews alike.” The Treatment, and Cultural Issues,” will take cantor, also at Park East, explains that if place December 8 and 21 at the Young you take a step back you will realize that Israel of Avenue K in Brooklyn. every country in the world has a national Certificates will be awarded to individu- anthem, and this is because music is an The students at Shalhevet take an active part in the Open House. als completing both workshops, and con- important common denominator; it tinuing education credits will be provid- speaks to everyone across the board. ed. Advance registration is required. Chazanus does that and so much the wonderful students and teachers at after her sibling school. For further information about this or more. It’s a lesson in history that takes Shalhevet. Yael Bankoff and Tabi Fink Mrs. Rivki Isseroff, the Science Special other institute educational offerings, visit you back to the days of the shtetel and spoke next about the limudei kodesh pro- Projects Coordinator, astonished the www.ohelfamily.org or call the Mel and allows your spirit to soar in these con- gram, followed by the rosh yeshiva, Rabbi audience with her science magic tricks Phyllis Zachter Institute for Training at temporary times. O Zev Meir Friedman, introducing the inim- that showed that science really can be Ohel at 718-851-6300. O itable style in which he teaches and fun and exciting. Next, Mrs. Suri Full House At Shalhevet Event guides the students. Rabbi Friedman also Boiangiu, assistant principal, spoke about It’s A Cantor’s World It was standing-room-only at the detailed the school’s hashkafah and how much she enjoys her days at By Larry Gordon Shalhevet High School for Girls’ Open founding beliefs, such as ahavat Am Shalhevet, where she also teaches English There’s something about chazanus, House on Sunday morning, November 15, Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael. and serves as the director of college guid- cantorial music, that allows it to have its with over 250 parents and students in Devora Eisenberg and Leba Sklar pre- ance. “The girls are delicious.” she said. “It way with the Yiddishe neshamah, the attendance. In true Shalhevet style, the sented the secular-studies program and is a privilege to teach them.” Jewish soul. So it’s no surprise that one of students hosted the program, with extra-curriculars, followed by Shalhevet’s Dana Gerson and Julie Harush spoke the great cantorial concerts of the year, groups of students describing different educational coordinator, Rabbi Yotav about the warmth, friendship, and achdut featuring Itcha Meir Helfgott, Chief aspects of the school. Shoshana Wagman Eliach, who demonstrated the academic that permeate Shalhevet. Gavriella Pearl Cantor of the Park East Synagogue, is rap- and Kayla Zeitz introduced the program, goals and accomplishments of Rambam and Philly Korman then spoke about the idly becoming one of the most sought- welcomed the guests, and spoke about Mesivta and Shalhevet, which is modeled importance of activism at Shalhevet,

56 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES both for Israel and against its foes, such Next, Mrs. Leah Rosenblatt highlighted as Ahmadinejad of Iran. Case in point was her unique Arabic program for the eighth- Kulanu Meeting With The Mayor a rally that Shalhevet staged under Rabbi graders and demonstrated to them the Friedman’s guidance last week, protesting importance of learning Arabic. Mrs. Andrea the presence of Jakiw Pilaj, a Nazi war Schulman, the director of student activities criminal who has found a safe haven in at Shalhevet, planned and carried out all of Jackson Heights. the activities for the eighth-graders. Mr. Shmuel Pearl, an impassioned Additionally, they were all linked with Shalhevet parent, spoke about his warm “Shalhevet sisters” who presented the stu- feelings for Shalhevet and Rambam, and dents with “Shalhevet: Feel the Warmth” how happy he is to have children in both scarves, designed by Mrs. Schulman. schools. Mrs. Gail Elsant, associate princi- The program concluded with a deli- pal, concluded the program with words of cious collation for all, during which hakarat ha’tov to everyone who worked Rabbi Friedman and the rest of the so hard to make the program a success, administrative team, faculty members, especially the current Shalhevet students, parents, and students were on hand to “an extraordinarily fine group of young greet the guests. O women who make our job today very easy. Our students speak for our school.” Kosher Komedy At Caraville Glatt, Parents then divided into smaller November 21 groups to tour the school and visit sever- Kenny Gluck Presents Kosher al classrooms. They met with Mr. Mike Komedy will be having its Brooklyn Kelly (math), Mrs. Shaindy Lisker (sci- opening this Saturday night, ence), Mrs. Chani Schwartz (school November 21, at Caraville Glatt, 1910 mechanechet, beit midrash, Navi, and Avenue M in Brooklyn. Join some of the be’ur tefillah), and Rabbi Yotav Eliach funniest comedians on stage for a night (Zionism) as well as Rabbi Friedman of great food, drinks, fun, and laughs at (halachah, parashah) for a question-and- the coolest, hippest, and only comedy answer session. club where the food and the comics are The students proceeded to the student both kosher. Comedians who perform Students at the Kulanu Center for Special Services go across Central program, where they enjoyed doughnuts at Kosher Komedy have appeared on the Avenue several times daily to take advantage of mainstream opportunities and iced tea while participating in a Tonight Show, Late Show with David over at HAFTR High School. On Election Day, Kulanu students took action to “Who are the twins?” raffle with Rabbi Letterman, HBO, VH1, Comedy Central, ensure the safety of all pedestrians. Each student penned a letter to Mayor Zali Ritholtz, which culminated in one and comedy clubs throughout NYC. Parise describing the danger in crossing this intersection and made suggestions for repairing the problem. Students from the Gesher (Bridges) eighth-grader winning an iPod. Mr. Tickets are $20 per person in advance program—Ephraim, Yoni, and Jack—met with the mayor and hand-delivered Jeremy Litton provided the live music through Paypal or $25 at the door with a their letters. After reviewing the students’ cause, Mayor Parise agreed to and ruach that enhanced the festivity of two item minimum per person. Doors repaint the crosswalk lines and paint a large “School Crossing” notice on the the occasion. Deena Warshaw, the presi- open at 7:00 p.m. Show time is at 8:00 ground. In addition, he plans to contact Nassau County’s 4th Police Precinct dent of the G.O., spoke about the chesed p.m. For reservations and more informa- to request a crossing guard. The mayor also proposed contacting Nassau projects and programs that the student tion about upcoming shows and loca- County about the possibility of installing a traffic light at the corner. government has planned for this year. tions, please call 516-983-7654. O What a real-world experience in civic responsibility for these students!

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 57 With all the challenges that we face in another first for us. adjusting, there is a natural tendency to We realized that we were no longer look to others for advice, in the hope that behind the curve for this meeting. After we can avoid some of the more difficult all, many of the other girls are the old- lessons. The Bet Shemesh e-mail list has est in their families, and thus their par- hundreds of postings each day. A vast ents had also not gone through the number of them are “How do I…?” ques- process as parents; everything would be tions, “Here is how to…” answers, or new to them as well. And we realized “Does anyone know anything about…” that, now that we understand most of inquiries. what is happening (in Hebrew) during More Firsts Eventually, after a couple of years, we have even learned some of the answers. New olim struggle to reconcile their how to get things done. This is the So we know how to maneuver through expectations in life with reality. Each process of absorption. the health-care system and what to day brings a new realization that things Each family has its own unique expect from the teachers in school. We The school staff had in Israel are incredibly different from process of absorption, which is really sometimes even offer advice to the told her to bring only what they had grown accustomed to in just the sum of their experiences. As a “newbies” in town, sharing some of our their former home. As time passes, expe- result, one family may become expert in experience with them. And we forget her Israeli travel papers rience replaces expectation, and we special-ed. issues, another in building that in our fourth year of living here, we grow more familiar and comfortable and construction or purchase of a new are also newbies. and not her U.S. with our surroundings. home, and a third in the workings of the This week, Chaya’s school had a par- Understanding that this is a process health-care system (I chose these exam- ents’ (with student) meeting to discuss passport. Unfortunately, enables us to cope with all the stress and ples because these are three different next year’s national service (sherut leumi) that was bad advice. confusion that reigns in the first few areas which many new olim will most and the process of application and years of life in our new country. With the likely have to deal with at some point acceptance for the various institutions. passage of time, we begin to feel as if we and are vastly different from anything We knew this was coming and were excit- are “settled in” old-timers, with an under- they had been used to in their former ed to be starting this next stage together standing of how most things work and countries). with Chaya. Sherut leumi would be yet these (incredibly long) meetings, we are pretty much adjusted and can participate fully in all activities. Yet, the information was so over- whelming. Having never done any form of national service here, we had no idea how extensive the programs are and how varied the structure and supervi- sion provided. Should she live at home, or with a bunch of strangers in an apartment? Should she be in a large program or a small program? What are her career interests? Does she want career-related experience, or a program that is rich in helping others as more of a one-time experience? There are so many things for her to consider. There are even strategies designed to optimize one’s chances of getting into the program of one’s choice, or at least in a chosen field. There was so much information to grasp and assimilate, and it comes during a year of great transition and experience for the girls. Three days after the meeting, Chaya went to Poland with about 35 other eleventh- and twelfth-grade girls in her school for a week of discovery. Thousands of other students from Israel (and the rest of the world) will undertake similar journeys to learn about the thriv- ing Jewish communities of Eastern Europe and their destruction in WWII. They had prepared for the trip for months, and we could clearly see the anticipation building for her. The day of departure was full of excitement in our house. The night before, I had gone with Mordechai to an Israeli professional-league basketball game in Tel Aviv with four of his friends. He attends an afterschool basketball program twice a week. The program is run under the auspices of the Maccabi Electra Tel Aviv team, so Mordechai is considered a youth member of the club and has a photo ID card from them. Each year, the youth members are invited to come (along with an adult of their choice) to 12 or 13 select games and attend for free. Mordechai went to a game last year, but the timing never worked out for me to participate. This week, the schedule worked out and we took a whole crew to the Nokia Arena in Tel Aviv (another first for me). We had a nice time. Having seen 58 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Michael Jordan play in Chicago Stadium and Patrick Ewing in Madison Square Garden, I can assure you that these teams did not come close to the talent level I expected for professionals, nor was the stadium anything to get excited about. Yet the atmosphere was exciting and the kids really enjoyed it. We sat just above a set of fans who apparently attend every game, come with a drum, and sing team songs throughout the game. (They stop only for halftime.) Maccabi won, so the kids went home happy. I went home tired, having to chase five 8-year-old boys for three hours. That night, I was up till 1 a.m. making phone calls to the U.S. for work, and I had planned on sleeping through 7:15 and going to the office a little late that day. But at 6:00 a.m., Aliza woke me to tell me that Chaya was on the phone at the airport, crying hysterically. The school staff had told her to bring only her Israeli travel papers and not her U.S. passport. Unfortunately, that was bad advice. The travel papers only allow exit and entrance from Israel, and are free for the first five years after aliyah. The theory is that immigrants will still have their passports from their country of origin. Amazingly, the system saves us money by not requiring us to get a passport until year six of aliyah. In order to get into Poland, she needed her U.S. passport. So I quickly ran to the car and flew to the airport to get her the passport on time (39 minutes from phone call to delivery). She made her flight and is now somewhere in Poland. We will not be able to speak with her until she returns, but they were kind enough to give us the fax numbers of the hotels she will be in, and we are trying to fax her a daily letter. It will be interesting to see her reaction to the trip. NNN We are beginning to ramp up for the holidays here. No, we don’t have turkeys, dried corn, elves, soldiers, or some big fat guy in a red suit displayed everywhere. We do have chanukiyot, chocolate coins, and sufganiot wherever we go. I guess it is a cultural thing, but I am reminded each year that we live in the land of the Jews and for the Jews. O

Shmuel Katz works at Machon Puah. Shmuel, his wife Goldie, and their six children made aliyah in July of 2006. Prior to his aliyah, Shmuel was the executive director of the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can contact him at [email protected].

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 59 Hikind Calls Obama “Obstacle To Peace”

B Y SAMUEL SOKOL, the 1967 Six Day War, New York spoke with reporters about the JERUSALEM Assemblyman Dov Hikind Jewish right to build in Israel’s (Dem.) laid the cornerstone for capital city. Hikind explained In defiance of President the second phase of the Nof that banning Jews from build- Barack Obama’s demands that Tzion neighborhood near Jabel ing in a neighborhood was seg- Israel cease building in sections Mukabar. Together with Likud regation. He expressed wonder of Jerusalem annexed following MK Danny Danon, Hikind that an African-American president should endorse such a policy in the 21st century and expressed his interest in buying an apartment in Nof Tzion, encouraging the group traveling with him to purchase land there as well. Hikind blamed Obama for stalling the peace process. According to the assemblyman, PA President Abbas has latched

L–R: MK Danny Danon and Assemblyman Dov Hikind.

Preparing to lay the cornerstone.

onto Obama’s calls for a settlement freeze as an excuse not to negotiate with Israel. During the cornerstone laying and subsequent press conference, a small group of demonstrators from the Peace Now organization stood nearby calling for the division of Jerusalem. One demonstrator, a Jew from Britain, held a sign which stated, “Hikind, you’re a shame to your party.” As Hikind attempted to leave, he was accosted by the demonstrator. The Assemblyman explained that he did not have time to debate and gave the young man his telephone number, offering to take him out to dinner, in order to have a chance to speak about the issues in a polite and respectful manner. When asked by the 5TJT if he had a message to give to American Jews, MK Danon stated that he would like to see them coming home to Israel. O 60 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 61 The Mind/Body Connection To A Healthier You

BY RACHAEL E. SCHINDLER, gry that you just eat everything in sight! by something external, such as a doctor’s these health statistics into practical and MA, MS, CAI, CPT By identifying these sabotaging warning regarding their health, an simple steps, I’m here to help. I have seen thoughts and rethinking your relation- upcoming vacation, a wedding/bar mitz- time and again that people can change Being a diet-and-exercise expert, as ships (yes, in the plural!) with food, with vah/class reunion, or even participating their behavior if they are honest and real- well as a pilates master, I deal with a wide proper support you can learn to prevent in a fitness challenge. istic about their motivation. First, identi- array of clients, ranging from the highly diet damage. Whatever the initial motivation may fy personal and meaningful motivations. motivated, extremely physically fit indi- Some clients may need assistance to be to get fit and lose weight, this study What will keep you going when the going vidual, to the exact opposite type, name- identify or better understand their eating indicates that a person is not likely to gets tough? Are you distressed about your ly the unmotivated, sedentary individual issues, and behavioral or cognitive thera- stay the course and maintain a lifestyle of behavior? Are you interested in changing who absolutely hates to exercise. While py may be necessary if there has been a fitness unless they learn to internalize it? Are you ready to take action now? many factors may play a role in a person’s repeated pattern of failure to maintain a their motivation so that it becomes The next step is to set practical, achiev- lifestyle habits—genetics, environment, healthy diet or exercise program. intrinsic—a part of their identity. Part of able goals. Instead of saying, “I will physical injuries—many medical studies, Remember, the right tools for behavior the uniqueness of the nutritional coun- become more active,” declare instead, “I including my own dissertation, conclud- change are essential to success! seling services I offer involves being a will go on a brisk walk on Thursday at ed that there is a profound and undeni- In one randomized control study constant motivator and an external sup- 6:00 p.m.” able connection between the effect of the done in Sweden (2005), obese individu- port system that encourages, teaches, and The last step needed to effect a lasting mind (and/or spirit) on the body and vice als underwent a 10-week therapy pro- works with the individual toward achiev- change is to be aware that your emotions versa. Understanding this connection gram. They lost weight during that peri- ing a healthy lifestyle. affect your health, both negatively and helps me motivate and guide my clients od, and most continued to lose weight, So how do you elicit the mind in help- positively. It is important to develop to achieving their long-term health and according to an 18-month follow-up. The ing the body achieve its fitness goals? strategies to cope with stress and disap- fitness goals, and to maintain those out- control group, without any therapy, Sadly enough, millions of Americans are pointment without resorting to self- comes for years to come. gained weight. It is noteworthy to recog- stuck in the rut of behavioral intentions. destructive behavior such as eating junk So here’s some “food for thought.” nize that the 18 months of continual Most people have the best intent when it food in excess. These unhealthy eating Sheer willpower, reduced caloric intake, weight loss achieved by the majority of comes to their health, but they lack the behaviors are ways of medicating anxi- and even regular gym attendance may people in this particular study is signifi- internalized concrete plan required to eties—or feeding them (literally)! not be enough to uproot self-sabotaging cant and unique in light of the reality design and maintain it. In numerous To sum up the mind-body connec- eating behavior and thoughts. “I was that most dieters regain all their weight studies, the efficacy of a weight-loss pro- tion with regard to weight-loss: make good all day and just lost it at 4:00 p.m.” “I (and maybe more) within a year; very gram more than doubled simply because up your mind, and you will make up was bad already, so I decided to enjoy it few, perhaps 5 percent, truly maintain participants were asked to think about your body! O and go all the way” (and finish the whole their weight loss. and develop a detailed plan of implemen- box of cookies.) My favorite one is “I’ll So, what’s the answer to taking and tation. So the bottom line is, speak with Rachael E. Schindler, MA, MS, CAI, CPT, has over just take one”—and then you can’t stop (I keeping the weight off? Well, it’s not just someone who knows nutrition and can 18 years of experience in exercise physiology, call it the potato-chip syndrome). exercise! Research has shown that understand your specific energy needs, Pilates, nutritional counseling, and teaching, as well as multiple degrees in forensic and Another common behavior is the approximately half the people who and formulate a healthy plan that you developmental psychology. She specializes in food “starve and stuff,” where you think you attend an exercise program drop out after can follow. Then, just do it! and behavioral issues in children and adults, offering the right combination of diet, exercise, are doing “good” by either not eating or several months. Why? Because these indi- Now, for those of you who find it diffi- and support. Insurance is accepted. She can be eating too little, and then you get so hun- viduals have most likely been motivated cult to understand how to convert all reached at [email protected] or 917-690-5097.

62 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES resources to get the school started 23 Sy Syms, Clothing Magnate years ago, he was a continuing presence here. He was involved with the executive committee that provides advice and sup- And Philanthropist, Dies At 83 port to the dean, and he enjoyed interact- ing with our students very much. We will Sy Syms, the founder of a discount brother opened a retail clothing store miss his friendship and guidance.” retail clothing chain and a major philan- called Merns. He legally changed his name Alumni of the business school spoke thropist, has died. Syms, who supported to Sy Syms after he had to change the fondly of Syms. “I feel grateful to have had many Jewish and non-Jewish causes, died name of the Merns store due to a lawsuit. numerous opportunities to sit down with Tuesday in New York from heart failure. The administration and student body Sy Syms to hear about his career as a suc- He was 83. at Yeshiva University were saddened by cessful entrepreneur and retail icon,” said He was a founding board member of this loss. “Sy Syms embodied excellence 1997 graduate Chaim Haas, senior vice the Sy Syms School of Business at Yeshiva in education, ethics, decency, humor, and president of the technology and emerging University and served on the university’s humility—he represented the best with- media practice at Kaplow Com- board of trustees. In 1987, he donated $12 in us,” said President Richard M. Joel. “His munications, a mid-sized consumer PR million to create the YU graduate business school. He also supported many other schools and universities. Syms established the Sy Syms Foundation, which endowed philanthropic institutions including The “Sy Syms embodied excellence in American Heart Association, Boys Town of Sy Syms. Jerusalem, Children’s Cancer Center & Blood Foundation, Congregation Emanu- education, ethics, decency, humor, school that integrates both business funda- El, Friends of the Israel Philharmonic, mentals and a Jewish curriculum. The stu- Parkinson’s Disease Foundation, UJA- and humility.” dent body will continue to excel in order to Federation of New York and Public honor the memory of the person for whom Television. our school is named.” (JTA and YU News) O He founded the Syms off-price men’s clothing store in 1959. Syms is best known for appearing in commercials for vision and ours was to ensure that young firm in New York City. “He was an inspira- the chain in which he states that “An edu- men and women would receive the finest tion to me and my fellow classmates. The Deadline for Advertising cated consumer is our best customer”—a in business education while continuing lessons that I learned from him about slogan that remains to this day. Syms to grow as proud Jews and thinking citi- ‘always putting the consumer first’ have in the Next Issue is remained CEO of the Syms Corp. until zens. These values made Sy and his wife, guided me throughout my career.” 1998, when he was succeeded by his Lynn, role models for our children and “My fellow students and I are saddened Tuesday, November 24 daughter, Marcy. Syms continued as the our community.” by the loss of Mr. Syms,” said Aliza at 5:00 P.M. company’s chairman until his death. “Sy had an enormous impact on our Wolynetz, president of the business He was born Seymour Merinsky in school,” said Dr. Michael Ginzberg, dean school’s student council. “We are most Call 516-984-0079 Brooklyn. The family changed its surname of the Sy Syms School of Business. grateful for his legacy, which has given us to Merns when Syms’ father and older “Beyond his initial gift that provided the the opportunity to attend an elite business

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 63 Excitement Builds For 43rd Sh’or Yoshuv Dinner, December 5

B Y LEAH GOLDMAN of dedicated service to the community on Ron grew up in Plainview until the age After marrying his wife, Amy, the cou- December 5, 2009. In addition, it will be of 17, at which time he moved with his ple first lived in Riverdale before moving The 1960s were an era of complete paying tribute to three families whose family to Lawrence. He attended Hebrew to Lawrence, where they currently reside. social and political upheaval and turbu- dedication to Torah study and communi- Academy of Nassau County (HANC), MTA, They are members of Beth Shalom, Young lence. Recognizing the need to fan the ty involvement exemplifies the message and then Hebrew Academy of the Five Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst, and flames of Torah with love and genuine of Sh’or Yoshuv: Ron and Amy Friedman, Towns and Rockaways (HAFTR). After Kehilla Zichron Meir Moshe. warmth before the corrosive influences Shmuel and Faygie Lesser, and Dr. Hylton graduating high school, Ron attended Amy was born in Staten Island, and of the surrounding culture began to lure and Leah Lightman. Yeshivat Ohr Yerushalayim in Israel. Upon then moved with her family to Riverdale. young people away from Torah values, Ron and Amy Friedman are the recipi- returning from Israel, he attended Sh’or She attended Breuers, Shulamith, Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld, zt’l, founded Sh’or ents of the Kesser Shem Tov award. “We Yoshuv. He received a B.A. in psychology Shevach High School, and then attended Yoshuv Institute. Recognizing and cham- are fortunate to know from firsthand from Queens College and then a law Sharfman’s in Israel. Amy received a B.A. pioning the self worth and uniqueness of in psychology from Queens College. She every individual, Reb Shlomo influenced currently owns “Kiss & Make Up,” a make- thousands of young men and built a up store located on Central Avenue in Torah committed community. Cedarhurst. She uses her business as a Now, over 40 years later, Sh’or Yoshuv “Sh’or Yoshuv protects the Far Rockaway/ springboard to do many charitable acts. serves as a Torah center to hundreds of The Friedmans are the proud parents young men, families, and the community Five Towns community from the of Anna (8), Elisheva (6), Noah (4), and at large. Today that warmth and recogni- Sophie (1). Anna, Elisheva, and Noah all tion of the value of each Jew is being attend the Hebrew Academy of Long transmitted to a new generation through tumultuous chaos of the host culture Beach (HALB). Rabbi Freifeld’s sons-in-law, the rosh The community has enjoyed exuber- hayeshiva, HoRav Naftali Jaeger, and the surrounding us.” ant growth as many of the yeshiva’s alum- menahel, HoRav Avrohom Halpern. They ni married and began to raise children in and the carefully hand-picked staff, some the area. Today there are 500 Sh’or Yoshuv of whom were Rabbi Freifeld’s original families and alumni who make their per- talmidim, continue the legacy of Reb manent homes in the Far Rockaway/Five Shlomo. “The foundation of any Torah experience how much Sh’or Yoshuv is a degree from Brooklyn College. Ron cur- Towns vicinity. And hundreds of other committed community is a Torah center center of Torah learning and enhances rently manages a private equity fund local families have interacted with Sh’or which supports the community. Sh’or our community, our lives, and the lives of based in Manhattan. Yoshuv and, through it, developed pro- Yoshuv protects the Far Rockaway/Five so many people worldwide,” says Ron. As a student in Sh’or Yoshuv, Ron estab- found ties to learning, outreach, and Towns community from the tumultuous “Sh’or Yoshuv has made its mark by sup- lished a beautiful connection to the chesed. chaos of the host culture surrounding us,” porting the individual strengths and tal- yeshiva, Rabbi Naftali Jaeger, Rabbi Shmuel Lesser is an example of an says Rabbi Jaeger, “It is a beautiful uplift- ents of each student. For over 40 years, Avrohom Halpern, and the rebbeim that alumnus who is an active member of the ing oasis that infuses students and com- the yeshiva has opened its doors to men, has spanned the last 15 years. Over the Sh’or Yoshuv community. He and his wife, munity members with the illuminating, women, and children of all backgrounds years, he has continued to come to Sh’or Faygie, are the recipients of the guiding light of Torah.” while its staff extends unparalleled Yoshuv to learn and has been a silent part- Machzikei Torah award. “We are so very Sh’or Yoshuv is celebrating its 43 years warmth and caring to each person.” ner in the Sh’or Yoshuv Kollel. fortunate to be a part of the Sh’or Yoshuv

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64 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES family for many years. We can attest first- tion of their rebbeim, students undergo recipients of the Amudei Chesed award. “The Sh’or Yoshuv’s more than four decades of hand to what a unique and special place remarkable transformations. “Sh’or Yoshuv yeshiva is an integral part of my life and the excellence in the community. It will cre- it is. Known for its warmth and dedica- has always celebrated the individual and lives of my family,” says Dr. Lightman. ate greater opportunities for its dedicated tion to all who enter its doors, our yeshi- recognizes that every person, with his own A beloved pediatrician in the Far staff to touch the lives of many more va serves as a home, safe haven, and personality and strengths, is an integral Rockaway/Five Towns community, Dr. young people. Sh’or Yoshuv looks forward makom Torah to hundreds of families. part of the Jewish people,” explains Rabbi Lightman was born, raised, and educated to an outpouring of support from the Sh’or Yoshuv embraces and welcomes a Halpern. “This is our trademark and our in Johannesburg, South Africa. He earned community. The deadline for ads is diverse group of talmidim, yungerleit, and mission.” The Bais Medrash Program offers his medical degree from the University of November 26. For more information, ba’alei batim coming from all walks of more than 13 levels of shiurim consisting of Witswatersrand. He immigrated to the please call Sh’or Yoshuv at 516-239-9002 life,” says Shmuel. over 35 shiurim daily that cater to the diver- United States in 1984. Dr. Lightman ext. 102, 109 or visit www.shoryoshuv.org. Shmuel grew up in Lakewood, NJ. For sity of the student body. founded the Shalom Task Force and is E-mail responses can be sent to high school, he attended Rabbi Jacob Sh’or Yoshuv’s impact is felt through- involved in community affairs, including [email protected] and fax responses Joseph Yeshiva in Edison, NJ, and then out the community and beyond. The lives Tomchei Shabbos. can be sent to 516-239-9003. O went on to learn in Belle Harbor. Shmuel of men, women, and children in Far Dr. Lightman learns in Sh’or Yoshuv on learned in Sh’or Yoshuv for five years full Rockaway and the Five Towns have been Wednesday mornings. He has established time and has been a part of Sh’or Yoshuv enriched through the more than 150 shi- a warm relationship with Rabbi Naftali for 15 years. He is the president of the urim Sh’or Yoshuv offers the community Jaeger, Rabbi Avrohom Halpern, and the For the next issue, Sh’or Yoshuv Kollel. Every morning he weekly in its Community Learning Sh’or Yoshuv rebbeim, and davens in Sh’or learns in Kollel Avreichim. Shmuel is the Program. There is the early morning kollel Yoshuv. deadline for reserving managing partner of SY Properties and SY for businessmen and professionals, the Leah was born and raised in Brookline, ad space is Holdings. He is the owner of “Picture Zichron Tzvi Evening Community Kollel, Mass. A graduate of the Maimonides This” in Cedarhurst. Kollel Yom Rishon, the Ayelet Hashachar School, she received her bachelor’s degree Monday, November 23 Faygie grew up in Brooklyn and Program for Women, the Shabbos pro- from McGill University, and her master’s at 5:00 P.M. attended Tiferes Bais Yaakov High School. grams, the Avos U’Bonim father and son degree from Brandeis University’s She received her degree from Brooklyn learning program, the Outreach Hornstein Program in Jewish Communal College and has been a 1st-grade teacher Professional Kollel, the Chavrusa pro- Services. Mrs. Lightman held several pro- All graphics for ads for the last 12 years. She has been teach- grams, and the summer programs. In fessional positions within the Jewish must be in by ing in Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island for addition, 1,500 individuals come to Sh’or community, including director of devel- the last 5 years. Yoshuv for Rosh Hashanah and Yom opment at Yeshiva University. Tuesday, November 24 The Lessers are members of Ateres Kippur to be inspired by the davening. The Lightmans live in Lawrence with at 5:00 P.M. Yisroel in Far Rockaway and daven in “Before I made my first trip ever to the their seven children. They are members Sh’or Yoshuv on Shabbos. The Lessers are United States from South Africa in 1981, I of Knesseth Israel and Congregation the proud parents of Shayna, Yisroel Dov, had heard about Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld, Shaarei Tefilla. Call 516-984-0079 and Michoel. “Sh’or Yoshuv is equipped zt’l, and the community he was building The upcoming Annual Dinner will be with a truly talented staff who live, love, in Far Rockaway. I was very impressed. an important opportunity to recognize and radiate Torah, Yiddishkeit, and its val- Little did I know at the time just how the ues. From the moment you walk through legacy he created would impact my life, the doors, you see and feel the love and including my decision to make my life in warmth that each rebbi has for his Far Rockaway and the Five Towns,” says talmid,” says Shmuel. Dr. Hylton Lightman. Under the watchful and nurturing atten- Dr. Hylton and Leah Lightman are the

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 65 most of the time worrying about virtual- tability, eating too much or not enough, psychological harm. ly anything and everything which or having difficulty falling or staying Although we may need extra protec- Why Worry? comes to mind. asleep. Other symptoms of anxiety may tion during a real crisis, most anxiety, Some individuals waste time worrying include dizziness or frequent trips to especially anticipatory anxiety which is about things which will probably never the bathroom. Our bodies may present the most common form, is caused by Strategies For Success happen. In addition, time spent on wor- with a rapid respiration rate, cold fin- illogical thought patterns. These thought B Y KENNETH LEVIN rying will not change the outcome in a gers, sweating, increased muscle ten- patterns actually cause our bodies to positive fashion. Anxiety often increases sion, or a rapid heartbeat. We experi- begin the anxiety reaction. Most times It is perfectly normal to experience the likelihood of difficulties arising ence these physical symptoms because these anxiety evoking thoughts are exag- some feelings of transient anxiety during because people who worry are preoccu- our body is reacting to a potential gerated and unrealistic. More often than our lifetime. Without the component of not, individuals with anxiety tend to anxiety, we would not go for an annual have too low a threshold for fear, and physical, we would not be careful while they react way too soon and more strong- driving, nor would we get an education ly than necessary. leading to a suitable career. An appropri- It all starts in childhood, when a good Why are some individuals more prone ate level of anxiety helps us stay on track to anxiety than others? It all starts in and take appropriate care of ourselves. childhood, when a good many of us Unfortunately, many individuals many of us develop somewhat distorted develop somewhat distorted ways of experience life with a moderate to high interpreting our environment. As small level of anxiety on a daily basis. They ways of interpreting our environment. children, we do not yet have a real under- spend most or all of their time feeling standing as to what the underlying moti- tense and anxious. Sometimes the indi- vation is for the way people speak and vidual has one specific concern, for act towards us. An individual’s cognitive example worrying about one’s health. processes—the way we understand and Another individual may constantly be pied, and this leads to errors in judgment threat or fear. It is preparing for an perceive things—are not yet fully devel- worrying about financial matters. Other and carelessness. attack, so to speak. Our body wants to oped. Therefore we do not yet have the times, an individual may have general- Symptoms of anxiety may include, protect itself from what it perceives as ability to interpret events, but rather, we ized anticipatory anxiety, spending but are not limited to, headaches, irri- some sort of threat, from physical or react to verbal and physical stimuli. Due to that lack of understanding, we develop inaccurate and exaggerated thought patterns, which remain with us throughout our lives. This is true even as we mature and the circumstances which caused these reactions originally are no longer present. Let us look at an example to make it clear. Sam is a five-year-old only child. His mother passes away after battling a terminal illness. Sam loved his mother and has not fully separated from her when she died, nor did he get sufficient nurturing and affection by the time of her untimely death. His father also loved his wife very much. Sam’s father becomes depressed and starts drinking too much alcohol to help relieve the pain. He becomes mean and bitter. Unfortunately, Sam’s father lets out his temper inappropriately on his son. He does not want to be this way. But he has a legitimate reason, so to speak, for his actions, although they are wrong. Sam does not understand that his father’s overreactions towards him are due to his father’s pain, coupled with the alcohol use. When his father yells at him for a minor infraction, or punishes him unnec- essarily, Sam thinks to himself that he must be bad, and that is why he is being punished. Further, he may feel unlovable because his mother left him and his father always yells at him. Accordingly, even though he may grow up and mature, Sam may always have unconscious thoughts of being a bad person, he may feel that he is unlovable and that anyone he loves will leave him. This may cause him to have difficulties adjusting and getting along in relationships, both personally and profes- sionally. Although he may grow up to be a very nice and lovable individual, he may always feel insecure due to the inaccurate thought patterns he learned in his childhood. Another example I use quite often relates to the student in the younger grades who has an inappropriate teacher, “Ms. Smith.” She herself had a difficult strict upbringing where she was taught that perfection is always necessary. Coming home with a grade of 89 was reacted to harshly. “You should have tried harder; you failed” is what she heard from 66 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES her mother. Ms. Smith grows up to be a teacher and instills these inappropriate perfec- tionist values on her students. In reality, Solution To students should try to do the best they can, but should not be made to feel that they need to be perfect or it’s terrible. This only instills negative feelings in the Last Week’s child about him or herself, and creates anxiety and frustration. In addition, it may backfire and create negative feelings about school in the child, making it undesirable for him or her to study or 5TJT Puzzle: attend school. Our mind could be compared to a new computer which has an error in its operating system. Virtually any operation we try to perform on such a computer would Hidden probably not produce an appropriate response. We would first have to have the problem in the operating system correct- ed, and then the computer would function efficiently. Clues I treat anxiety with a multifaceted approach. To begin with, I try to first help the individual understand what the underlying problem he or she has Puzzle appears on page 74 really is. This helps the individual learn of the November 13 issue. where his or her illogical thought pattern(s) originated. It is not just a matter of telling the individual why he or she is thinking incorrectly, but rather, to prove to his or her unconscious mind why this is so. The next part of the process is to replace the dysfunctional and trouble- some thought patterns with new more realistic ones. An individual learns new behavior patterns to further help him function on a less stressful level. Once this is achieved, we are almost home. The individual will then think more logically, and accordingly, will be noticeably less anxious. The last part of the process is to make sure that these new thought and behavior patterns become a permanent part of the individual’s memory and functioning. When working with anxiety, I concur- rently teach behavioral interventions one can do when experiencing anxiety to help reduce the symptoms. These interventions will usually be tailored to the individual to insure maximum benefit. Lastly, I will usually recommend biofeedback to help reduce the symptoms. Biofeedback is another way to help reduce and control the symptoms of anxiety, primarily working with teaching you to control your respiration rate. Biofeedback may even reduce and/or eliminate the need for medication in certain cases. By using this type of approach, anxiety will soon be a thing of the past. Instead of letting anxiety control you, you will learn how to conquer and control anxiety. O

Kenneth J. Levin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and life coach. He works with adults and children, individuals and couples. He also uses biofeedback and neurofeedback in his practice. He can be reached for questions or consultation at 516-549- 9170. Feel free to e-mail him at [email protected].

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? WE WANT TO KNOW! E-MAIL US AT [email protected]

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 67 68 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 69 SERVICES SERVICES PROVIDED PROVIDED

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Lg LR, DR, Open House 11/22 1-3 25 Vanderbilt Way, Ced: Nu2Mkt, 2Fam, 3br/3br, 2fpl, Call Weissman Realty 516-791-6100 EIK, Den, 5BR, 3bth, Skilits, Cabana, North Woodmere. deck, all new, grt loc, full bsmt Lg prop, IGPool, Walk to all . . . $659K 3 BR, 2.5 bth, LR, DR, EIK, finished ...... $795K basement, renovated, end unit in devel- 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 COMMERCIAL REAL opment. Billee Spodek 516-398-6374 ESTATE FOR RENT Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! Your Real Estate, Old Woodmere — C/H Colonial, 6 BR, 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, 4 Bth, FDR, Large LR, Den, State-of- 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, the-Art Oversized SS/Granite Kitchen, Far Rockaway — 2 Huge Office Spaces. clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space Service, or Radiant Heat Floors, Too much to list! 6,000 and 2,500 Sq Ft. 2nd Floor. Near parking, 2 family, professional use, Call or E-mail for photos & add't. info. Subway & LIRR. Build to Suit. Can be accountant, Esq., medical and/or educa- 516-374-7355 or [email protected] divided. Owner 917-359-9776 Help Wanted Ad tional and religious uses. Grand colonial with charm and great possibilities. Cedarhurst — Open House Sunday Woodmere — Prime location. Medical/ Available at once . . . $875K Negotiable Here 11/22, 1-2:30, 507 Redwood Dr. (Cedar commercial. 3 large rooms, 2 bath- Owner 516-322-3555 Bay Park) rooms, turnkey. $750. Call owner New EIK/ Roof/ CA/ HW...... $639K Every Thursday Far Rockaway: 2 Fam. All NU 516-592-0079 Woodmere — (Off Saddle Ridge Rd.) 5 3 over 3 Br. 4Fbth, Dr, Full bsmt BR, 3.5 bth, EIK, LR, FDR, Den, All features ...... $779K Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq ft, fully 100,000 readers Finished Bsm’t, Gar, Oversized prop. Call 516-263-6417 wired for Web, partitioned, will divide. Under market value...... $539K look forward to Call 516-322-3555 Oceanside — Brand new construction. Dalia Fritz Realty 516-374-4411 Beautiful CH col. Large 4 BR (1 level), what’s happening Cedarhurst: Office rental: Executive 2 2.5 bths, granite EIK, FDR, den with fp, Woodmere — Open House Sun 11/22 12-1:30 Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., full bsmt, in cul-de-sac, walk all, best 1025 Dartmouth Ln SD#14 4BR hi-ranch CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555 in the price ...... $675K ...... Lo $500Ks 5 Towns Homes Realty 516-569-5710 Woodmere — Why rent?? Mint 3BR 5 Towns by reading ranch, Lo tax ...... $469K Lawrence Office sublet. 750 square feet. medical or commercial. Far Rockaway: 2 Family. All NU, Woodsburgh — Classic mint 4000ft colo- 290 Central Ave. in Lawrence. The Five Towns 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great nial. 5BR, 6.5bth, Lo tax. Near Bway. Dr. Feibusch 516-375-8894 Location ...... $599K Pvt showings ...... $1.7M Jewish Times. Call 516-322-3555 Lawrence — Ours alone 40 Lismore Rd. 5BR, 3.5bth col. Lrge rooms. Hi ceils- Lawrence — Wonderful c/h col. house ings. Lo Tax...... $800Ks FOR RENT on the nicest cul-de-sac there is. Brand Lawrence — Huge condo. Doorman, 2 Deadline is Monday new kitchen, finished basement. Asking indoor pkg...... $550K $875K Call 516-902-0936 Smolinsky Properties 516-295-4444 at 5:00 p.m. Far Rockaway — Luxury apartment, 6 Hewlett — Col. MIC, 4br, 2bth, 2fpl, full West Lawrence/ Far Rockaway — By BR, 3 full bths, EIK, Private deck, wood flr, Lg. den. Walk to all. Appt Backyard/Driveway, Large LR/DR, 1 Week ...... $35 ...... $729K 5 BR Contemporary Col, vaulted ceil- Playroom, Laundry Room, Pesach 5 TOWN HOMES 516-322-3555 ings, skylights, fpl and more . . . $800’s Kitchen, and Lots of Extras. Dramatic 4 BR split col beautiful prop- 2 Weeks ....$60 Reasonable. 347-234-5599 Valley Stream: Nu 2 Mkt. Brick ranch, erty Location! great condition, quiet street. Nu EIK, Brick legal 2 family+ basement Kew Garden Hills — Beautiful, fully 4 Weeks ....$100 Location! ...... $850K LR, Den, Lg Prop ...... $409K renovated 1 family home, detached Brick Dramatic Young 5 BR Col cul-de- For Rent ...... $2,500 40x100. 4 BR, 2.5 bath, finished base- sac MIC ...... $900’s Weekly Ads of up to 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 ment, backyard, patio, driveway. Best Open House Sunday by appt location . . . . $3,500/mo, buy $770K neg. 25 words 146 B9 and 156 B9 condos new construction for sale or rent Call Aaron: 917-519-6110. 1250 B12th St. 3 BR 2 bthsCedarhurst for Hillel Realty Group Call: 516-569-0502 Rent 4/5 BR homes ...... $3400-$2600 Milky Forst Properties Inc 516-239-0306 Cedarhurst — All updated charming Fax: 516-977-0608 Col. New granite EIK, FDR, LR with Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth fireplace, 4+ BR, CAC, in the heart of Lr/Dr, Walk to All ...... $179K Cedarhurst. Walk all. Call 5 Towns Or E-mail ads to: Call 516-322-3555 Homes 516-569-5710

Cedarhurst — Co-op. Open House Sun. [email protected] 11/15 12-4 601 Chestnut Street Apt. A26 New to market. 2 BR, 2 bths, oversized, Classified Ads are Include payment info. elevator building, underground parking, Continued on the Next Page. recently updated, new kitchen, close to all. 646-298-9018 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 71 CLASSIFIED ADS Continued from Page 71 FOR RENT FOR RENT FOR RENT

FOR RENT Far Rockaway — Large One Bedroom Far Rockaway — 1, 2, and 3 BR apart- Lawrence — Coop Rental. 1BR. 1NU Apartment for rent. Beautiful elevator ments. some balconies. New kitchens, Bth, LR, DR, EIK...... $1,300 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710 bldg. Nice tenancy. Great location at lots of closets, 24 hr doorman, security Neilson and Cornaga, near Shor Yoshuv, Bayswater — 1 BR, w/d, frum neigh- cameras. Close to White Shul, Shor transportation, and shopping. bors, private entrance, great kitchen Yoshuv and train. Asking $1,100. Call 718-692-2525 ext. 180 private backyard. 516-374-3635 Call Sherri 516-297-7995 MISCELLANEOUS Far Rockaway — On beach. Brand new Cedarhurst — Nu House CH Col. LR, Century Village Boca condo — 2 BR, building, 1 & 2 BR available. Granite FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR, 3BTHS. 1.5 bth corner, Near Shul, excellent kitchens, balconies with water views, Bsmt. For Rent ...... $2,500 light, central A/C, Kosher kitchen, Ocean Corp. Houston, Texas. Train for Shabbos elevator, w/d hookup, parking. New Career. Underwater Welder, 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 newly tiled, carpeted, freshly painted, Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. upgraded furnishings. Call 347-668-2254 No renter’s fee! Job placement and financial aid for KG Hills — central loc, residential st. Far Rockaway — Renovated 2 BR, con- det hse, 2 flrs, 3 BRs, 1.5 bths, Kit, those who qualify, 1-800-321-0298 Cedarhurst — 1 BR Duplex, New venient to Beach 9, 1 bth. $1,300 LR/DR, Sun Room. Pvt. Drv for 3 cars Kitchen, Double sink. Extras. Walk to Weissman Realty Group, LLC 516-791-6100 & Storage. 2 Blks from Main St & 73rd all. $1295 Credit Check Req. Ave. Near Shops, Transp, Colleges Cedarhurst — NU House, CH Col., LR, (Queens) & Shuls. Sh Shab 718-261-4156 Rockville Centre apts 1 & 3 BR FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 5BR., 3BTHS., Sun-Th 5-7pm 516-425-6296, 516-306-6248 Full Bsmt., Lg Bkyd...... $3,200 Deadline for Advertising Far Rockaway — 3 BR house, 2.5 bths, Far Rockaway — Apartment. Beach 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 EIK, deck, backyard, driveway, w/d 9th Street area. 2-family detached in the Classifieds for hookup. Beach 6 and Jarvis (across house. 3 BR, 1.5 bths, includes heat, from TAG Elementary School) available New 3 BR house for rent in Cedarhurst. water, built-in w/d, updated kitchen and Next Week is 1/1/10. 516-643-9204 New kitchen, new appliances, 2.5 bths, bths 718-327-0269, 917-495-0623 deck, garage, hardwood floors, central Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, HVAC, ﬁnished basement . . $2,600/month Monday, Cedarhurst — All new, bright 3 BR, 1.5 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. 718-858-9805 bths, ground floor apt in 2-family house, Call 516-322-3555 November 23 LR, FDR, EIK/ w new appliances, new Jerusalem, Talbieh — 3 BR carpet, w/d included, yard and parking. Unfurnished apartment, 3 bths, brand Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place 5:00 P.M. Walk all ...... $2,150 new intallations, opposite Imbal Hotel, Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 magnificent views. Call 718-601-1156 at cul-de-sac, best location . . $4K monthly minimum 1 year lease. Call Call Irene 516-652-7099 Far Rockaway — Apt for rent. Large 3 Cedarhurst — Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. 516-569-0502 North Wdm. — house rental. Hi-ranch BR, huge LR, big DR, 1.5 bths, first 2BR. 2Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat & prk in MIC. 4 br, CAC, den, on quiet street. floor, close to all. Call 917-697-2233 for incld ...... $2,300 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 more information. 5Town Homes 516-569-5710

72 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

What Is Zionism?

B Y DR. ALEX GROBMAN

Zionism—the Jewish national renaissance movement—is one of the most misunderstood examples of modern nationalism. Part of the reason is that Zionism is founded on a paradox. In an attempt to transform the Jewish people into being like all other nations, Zionism sought a contemporary solution to the “Jewish problem” by returning Jews to their ancestral homeland.1 Although secular Zionist thinkers drew upon sacred Jewish traditions of rebirth and restoration, they discarded or recast anything not connected to restoration, especially religious rituals. Zionism is thus an endeavor to restore the Jew to his historical roots through national revival while “rebelling against Jewish history;” an effort to reestablish Jewish tradition while redefining Jewish practice and ritual; an attempt to enable Jews to live in their own land like every other nation, while stressing the distinc- tive elements in their history, culture, and society.2

For the British, the matter was quite clear: Palestine was not a state but the name of a geographical area.

Those who initially immigrated to the Yishuv (Jewish settlement in Palestine) were motivated by a desire for self-determination, liberation, and identity within the context of the liber- alism, secularism, modernism, and nationalism unleashed by the French Revolution and the Declaration of the Human Rights of Man.3 The Enlightenment, an intellectual utopian movement of the 18th century, posited that were logic and reason to reign in society, they would overcome superstition and hatred. This would free the Jews from their old ways and enable them to acquire roots in their adopted lands. The idea that the Enlightenment would usher in an era where bigotry and prejudice would be replaced with tolerance and moderation turned out to be a fantasy. For Jews, it was an especial failure because in the 18th century Jews still lived behind ghetto walls, essentially cutting them off from society at large. Their dress, religious practice, and ways of thinking made them appear peculiar and parochial, and set them apart. Even after the ghetto walls no longer existed, masses of European Jews maintained their Jewish traditions instead of assimilating.4 Though Jews had pined for the land of Zion for millennia, Zionism itself did not develop before the 19th and 20th cen-

Continued on Page 74 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 73 What Is Zionism? roads and a rail line that projected the tice for the Arabs meant guaranteeing Continued from Page 73 Ottoman Empire’s imperial power, there their economic, civil, and religious rights. …Yitzchak the son of were few public works projects. Awarding the Arabs any form of self-gov- turies because it was much more than Resident Arabs, traditional in outlook, ernment within Palestine was precluded Avraham; Avraham just a response to anti-Semitism. It was had no interest in new plans for their com- by British commitments to the Jews an attempt to create a new Jew based on munities either. Thus, for Herzl and other under the Balfour Declaration, which had fathered Yitzchak Enlightenment ideas,5 but a Jewish European Zionists, in addition to its being been incorporated in the mandate of the (Bereishis 25:19) return to Zion was more than the emigra- the ancestral homeland, Turkish Palestine League of Nations.11 O tion of a people to a new land. Zionist set- was inviting because of its lack of govern- NOTES The cynics of that tlers did not seek to go to Palestine to ment accountability, absence of local Arab 1. Abraham I. Edelheit, The History of Zionism: A 8 Handbook and Dictionary (Boulder, CO: dominate another people and exploit the initiative, and the “empty landscape.” Westview, 2000), xv. generation were saying that area’s natural resources for export. They At this point in history, post-World War 2. Ibid. Sarah had become pregnant came to establish settlements and to I, political pressure caused the internation- 3. Shlomo Avineri, The Making of Modern Zionism: The Intellectual Origins of the Jewish develop their country. al community to endorse the Jewish desire State (New York: Basic Books, Inc. Publishers, from Avimelech, since she The future State of Israel would have no for national self-determination and 1981), 5, 13. 4. George L. Mosse, Germans and Jews (New had failed to conceive in all towns or villages named New Warsaw, accepted that the Jewish people had a jus- York: Grosset and Dunlop, 1970), 42-76. Many New Lodz, New Moscow, New Minsk, or tifiable claim to return to their homeland. Jews, particularly on the left, were influenced by the ideas of the Russian revolution that all the years she was with New Pinsk—unlike the New World, where Significantly, in this recognition, the oppressed nations should unite in their fight for settlements were named for old cities (e.g., Balfour Declaration and the Mandate emancipation against a common enemy. Jacob Avraham.What did G-d do? New London, New Orleans, New York, under the League of Nations make no L. Talmon, Israel Among the Nations (London: 6 Weidenfeld and Nicolson, 1970), 142. He formed the counte- New England, and New Madrid). mention of Palestinians as a separate and 5. Avineri, The Making of Modern Zionism: The Furthermore, by rejecting Europe and distinct people with their own national Intellectual Origins of the Jewish State, op.cit. 5, 13. nance of Yitzchak to resem- 6. S. Ilan Troen, Imagining Zion: Dreams, Designs, by creating the modern Hebrew language, rights. The indigenous people were regard- and Realities in a Century of Jewish Settlement the Zionists created their own intellectu- ed as residents whose political identity (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2003), 7-9, ble that of Avraham, so that al and cultural energy without imitating was connected to the larger Arab nation.9 55, 142. 7. Ibid. 151-152, 158. all might attest that or transplanting the old ways. Using bibli- For the British, the matter was quite 8. Ibid. 70, 90-91, 159. cal (Hebrew) names to affirm control over clear: Palestine was not a state but the 9. Eli E. Hertz, Reply, Myths and Facts, 2005, 24. Avraham had fathered See Yehoshua Porath, The Palestinian Arab their geography, they did not consider name of a geographical area. This had National Movement: From Riots to Rebellion, Yitzchak.This is the mean- themselves outsiders or conquerors. Their been reinforced by the indigenous Arabs Volume 2 (London: Frank Cass and Company, settlements were tangible manifestations themselves. When the First Congress of 1977), 81-82.) ing of the repetitious word- 7 10. Ibid. of the Jewish return to the homeland. Muslim-Christian Associations met in 11. Troen, op.cit. 44; Yosef Gorny, Zionism and the ing of the verse:“Yitzchak Those Jews who settled in the Yishuv Jerusalem in February 1919 to select Arabs: 1882-1948 (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1987), p. 82; Michael J. Cohen, The Origins and Evolution came to a land that was sparsely populat- Palestinian Arab representatives for the of the Arab-Israeli Conflict (Berkeley, California: (is certainly) the son of ed and economically underdeveloped, Paris Peace Conference, they adopted the University of California Press, 1987), 64-65. Avraham (since there is with sizable regions of desert, semi-arid following resolution: “We consider Dr. Grobman is a Hebrew University trained wilderness, and swamps. Before the Palestine as part of Arab Syria, as it has historian. His is the author of a number of books, proof that) Avraham British arrived in Palestine at the end of never been separated from it at any time. including Nations United: How The U.N. Undermines Israel and The West, Denying World War I, the authorities in the We are connected with it by national, reli- History: Who Says The Holocaust Never fathered Yitzchak.” Ottoman Empire had practicalions, or gious, linguistic, natural, economic, and Happened and Why Do They Say It?, and a 10 forthcoming book on Israel’s moral and legal right controls on the construction of private geographical bonds.” to exist as a Jewish State to be published by (Rashi) and public buildings. Except for a few For the international community, jus- Balfour Books.

74 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES COLOR

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 75 Just Kidding Around

“Here, have a leaf.”

“That tickles!”

“How are you today?” “Who knew a chicken could feel so soft?”

While learning about Parashas Noach, the children at Gan Chamesh met some live animals at the visiting petting zoo. There were chickens, rabbits, goats, alpacas, and sheep. The children certainly had a hands-on experience petting and feeding their new friends!

76 November 20, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 20, 2009 77 Reinvigorating Religious Zionism Photos by Citicom

“The State of Israel in Halachah” was the topic at a Shabbaton hosted by the Religious Zionists of America last week at the Fifth Avenue Synagogue in Manhattan. Lectures, shiurim, and divrei Torah were presented by leading personalities in the Torah and Eretz Yisrael movement. Above, Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, Executive Vice-President Emeritus of the Orthodox Union; Rabbi and Mrs. Hershel Schachter (L) and Martin and Reva Oliner (R). Martin Oliner, President of the Religious Zionists of America; and Rabbi Pesach Rabbi Schachter is a Rosh Yeshiva at Yeshiva University. Lerner, Executive Director of the National Council of Young Israel.

Mr. Oliner makes presentation to Rabbi Yaakov Kermaier of the Fifth Avenue Synagogue.

Rabbi Arthur Schneier, Mr. Oliner, and Malcolm Hoenlein, Executive Director of the Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations.

You can now upload your display ad directly via our website at www.5tjt/com/ad

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