E X C L U S I V E : MURDOCH PROMISES

FORWARD WITH THE PEOPLE REBEKAH 'YOU'LL EDIT SUNDAY SUN' MY PRECIOUS

EXPOSED: THE SECRET HOLD REBEKAH HAS OVER MURDOCH E D I T O R I A L

THE UNTOUCHABLES The employed a team of reporters and private investigators who swaggered round dispensing cash out of suitcases and were implicated in everything from murder to corruption. For two years 2005-2007 they were out of control with top cops like Yates and Hayman in their pockets. Murdoch didn’t have a publishing empire at Wapping but a rackateering operation. They thought they were untouchable because their boss had every top politician – Labour and Tory – in his pocket as well as any copper. Anyone who spoke out was blackmailed by the threat of exposure in the NOTW. HOW DID TORY GRANDEE DIE IN GLASTO PORTALOO? Mystery still surrounds the death of ’s pal and Witney Tory party chairman Christopher Shale found dead in Glastonbury portaloo. After an inconclusive post mortem toxicology tests were done and results promised in ten days. We’re still waiting. CHAMPAGNE CHARLIE CUCKOLDED BY MURDOCH

MURDOCH SENT Above left: MURDOCH TALLY HO! THE GORMLESS TOFF REBEKAH LINGERIE Below: Charlie & Bekky TWIT WHO MARRIED REBEKAH

UN-KEMPT

Continued over page.. DAVE, GEORGE & CHARLIE Old Etonian Champagne Charlie Brooks is the Chump. A dolt. After a career as a jockey and racehorse trainer he is now ‘an author’. How? Well the prestigious Harper Collins imprint published his debut novel ‘Citizen’ Harper Collins is owned by…Murdoch. The PR for the launch party was arranged by Murdoch’s son in law Mathew freud and…incredibly for a first time author – attended by David Cameron and ! SUPERSTUD MAKES HERO JOCKEY BURN WIFES CLOTHES In reality Charlie Brooks has been more of a superstud on the Lamborn canters specialising in the wives and daughters of fellow trainers and jockeys. He pinched model Miriam Francome from champion jockey John Francome who was so annoyed with his former best friend that he burned Miriam’s clothes in Brooks’ stable yard. He has sired among others, Anna Wallace, one-time girlfriend of Prince Charles, Eimear Montgomerie, former wife of golfer Colin Montgomerie, Maureen Piggott, daughter of jockey Lester. N O T W E X C L U S I V E ! RUPERTs' DEAD DAD SPEAKS ONLY TO OUR MADAME BL AVASTKY PPUUZZZZLLEE BBOONNAANNZZAA !!

Thinking space

Can you guess the identity of the corrupt news magnate simply by looking at his cold, dead, soulless eyes? First winning reply out of the mailbag receives a feeling of overwhelming personal pride.

a b c d

d n o m s e D d r a h c i R . d h c o d r u M t r e p u R . c k c a l B d a r n o C . b l l e w x a M t r e b o R . a THE CHIPPING NORTON SECT

It is called the , an incestuous collection of louche, affluent, power-hungry and amoral Londoners, located in and around the Prime Minister’s Oxfordshire constituency. Brooks and her husband, the former racing trainer Charlie Brooks, live in a house scarcely a mile from David and ’s constituency home. The two couples meet frequently, and have continued to do so long after the phone hacking scandal became well known. PR fixer , married to Mr Murdoch’s daughter Elisabeth, is another member of this Chipping Norton set. When Mr Cameron bumped into Freud at ’s wedding two years ago, he and Mr Freud greeted each other with exuberant high-fives to signal their exclusive friendship. Chuck in Cameron’s chief advisor . , and cronying celebs like and Kate Moss and a few old aristos and you have the full degenerate shower. HACKERS L ANE, CHIPPING NORTON

T R I C K Y , T H E " M A T R I X " , R E D P I L L S A N D B L U E P I L L S D A V E S ' R A D I C A L D R U G S S H A K E U P

2 n d S u m m e r o f L o v e P u t o n h o l d . .

O S B O U R N E , P R O S T I T U T E S , C O C A I N E A N D J E R E M Y C L A R K S O N . Jeremy Clarckson - Powdering nose? H A N D S U P F O R T H E T W O F O R O N E O F F E R A T D I G N I T A S ! T H A T C H E R S O B I T U A R Y

This is the cover page of the 16 page supplement the NOTW was planning to publish on the death of …u8230 .which Brian Whelan has managed to spirit out of Stalag Wapping. All newspapers have these obituaries on tap ready to publish. The rest of the 16 pages is nothing but a love letter from Murdoch to his heroine…u8230 …6 pages of unadulterated shit and can now only be used as bog paper. We know that far from wanting a 16 page supplement most people will be heading to Trafalgar Square on th Saturday after her death for a celebration party.

Thatcher is also to be given a state funeral paid for by us. Incredible. As our contribution we print this collage by warren draper which well reflects the fawning hypocrisy that will be on show from politicians of all parties at the funeral. Pass the sickbag G O R D O N B R O W N : PYJAMA PARTY SHOCKER! Y E A T E S O F T H E Y A R D I E S : c r i m i n a l c a s e b o o k

T h e n a m e Y e a t e s o f t h e Y a r d i n s p i r e s d e r i s i o n ( s u r e l y s h u m m i s h t a k e ) – S O R R Y – f e a r i n c r i m i n a l s t h r o u g h o u t t h e w o r l d . I n t h i s n e w s e r i e s Y e a t e s l o o k s b a c k o n h i s m o s t f a m o u s c a s e s : N o . 1 K e n D o d d t a x a v o i d a n c e … … … D o d d y w o n N o . 2 T h e f t o f t h e f l o w e r p o t m e n … . . u n s o l v e d N o . 3 H u n t f o r t h e T a m w o r t h t w o … . t h e y g o t a w a y T h a t f e a r e d Y e a t e s i n t e r r o g a t i o n t e c h n i q u e : M r . M u l c a i r e - a r e y o u g u i l t y o f p h o n e h a c k i n g N o O h g r e a t – s o r r y t o h a v e b o t h e r e d y o u . C a n I h a v e m e n o t e b o o k b a c k ? S u r e . S P O R T F O O T B A L LS D I R T I E S T E V E R P L AY E R It’s a great shame that Glen Mulcaire’s day job as a private investigator is overshadowing his former football career. After a spell at CROYDON ATHLETIC Glen moved to Kingston to join AFC WIMBLEDON on their long trek back into league football. In fact ‘Trigger’–as he was known - holds a special place in the hearts of Dons fans as he scored their first ever goal as AFC WIMBLEDON against BROMLEY. Wilder than the Crazy Gang, dirtier than John Fashanu –how did ‘Trigger Mulcaire’turn into ‘Hacker Mulcaire’ He may have been confused by the laws of football where ‘hacking’–kicking at shins –was allowed in the early years of the game. We may never know but there’s a You Tube clip of Mulcaire’s goal and the subsequent celebrations. The Dons manager remarks to camera..’Glen’s milking his 5 minutes of fame’…u8230 …You never know what’s coming next do you? HAVE YOU GOT A STORY FOR THE NOTW?

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