...What's where... the News 2 Opinion 6 Feature 8 Sports 10 Entertainment 14 Classifieds 18 NSK 19 "The tie that binds since 1926" VOLUME XXXVI • ISSUE FOURTEEN • WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 15,1995 cord WLU Student publications Champions once again

TEAM SOCCER WOMEN'S COURTESY PICTURE: The Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawk women's soccer team came home from Ottawa with the national title in hand. The championship is the second in four years for the team. tainly implied that some of the rea- but other than Karen Conboy, Gigi sons for the snub were political. Ggnini and Lorraine Hodds, the rest PETE ROBINSON lineup, MacLean guided his team Despite being clearly the best "There's a lot of animosity from ofthe team went unselected. Cord Sports through the OWIAA schedule, even- team in their division, the Hawks other teams around the league," he One gets the feeling that after It began in the draining heat of an tually clinching first place and a were largely shunned in the All-Star said, adding that many ofhis players last weekend, MacLean and his August training camp, and ended on berth in the OWIAA championships. selection process. Although he didn't showed all year long that they team have the last laugh. a snowy field in Ottawa on Sunday. "He was great. He always knew come out and say it, MacLean cer- deserved to be on the All-Star Team, The end result for the Women's when to give us a kick in the pants," Soccer team was their second said Burkitt. National Championship in four A 4-0 blowout against Queen's in years. the final set the stage for last week- "Expectations were always end's foray into Ottawa. Entered into How the weekend unfolded high," said Head Coach Barry a pool with Canada West champ MacLean. "It's an unbelievable thing ÜBC, MacLean saw the T-birds as BARRY MACLEAN overcome. Hie Ravens were con- crossed a precision ball into the to accomplish." the biggest obstacle between his Special to The cord tent to pack their goal area and penalty area. The ever presfciit All year long, MacLean stead- squad and a national title. The Laurier Golden Hawks defend against the potent Laurier Burkitt seemed to be heading on a fastly stood by his assertion that his "We came out and we were ten- Women's soccer team completed a attack. Alexa Hodgldnson opened collision course with the Dalhousie team had what it took to bring home tative," said MacLean of the dream season this weekend in the scoring for Laurier witha classic goalkeeper as both players bravely the National Championship. The Women's preliminary round match Ottawa, winning the National header which was quickly followed raced toward the ball, dutch per- Women delivered with a 1-0 victory with the B.C. squad. Championship against the by a goal by Karen Cortboy. Leading former, Burkitt, won the race and over Dalhousie. "We played into the wind and Dalhousie Tigers. 2-0 at the half, Laurier continued to neatly headed the ball into the back "After playing on a fairly nice were down by one at half. Then we The Hawks began the tourna- pressure leading to second half ofthe net day Saturday, we woke up to a -23 came out and completely dominat- ment as the third seed, placed in a markers from Vejvalka, Conboy After euphoric celebrations, the degree wind chill and the field cov- ed. I would say that they were the group with the second seeded ÜBC and rookie Kara Yates. The 5-0 vic- Hawks held off a desperate ered in snow," said MacLean. number two team in the tourna- Thunderbirds and die host Carieton tory over the Ravens ensured Dalhousie attack to ensure the "I thought that the conditions ment, so the win was huge." Ravens. The Hawks opened the Laurier's place in the final Hawks a second National were an equalizer them." With the them : for win behind tournament against .. the The final would pit the defend- Championship. Celeste Burkitt's goal with just Laurier had to get, past the host side Thunderbirds on Thursday in freez- ing National Champion Dalhousie Vejvalka was named tourna- over five minutes to play sealed the Carleton, a clearly inferior team ing conditions. The Hawks, playing Tigers against the Hawks. With the ment MVP and, along with Conboy win for the Soccer Hawks. Up until who qualified solely on the basis of against gale force winds, trailed at wind chill factor at minus 23, gust- and Hodgkinson, named to the that point, Laurier dominated the being hosts. Despite Carleton play- the half 1-0. laurier turned the ing wiods said a snow covered Held* Tournament All-Star Team. Rookie play but couldn't get one past the ing ten players behind the center tables, pressuring ÜBC for most of the conditions were less than ideal. Lorraine Hodds was named player tough Dalhousie goalkeeper. stripe, the Hawks were able to score the second half. The Thunderbirci Th& Hawks completely dominated ofthe game in the final, and named The win is a crowning achieve- five goals to thump the Ravens 5-0. goalie stoned the Hawks repeatedly the first half, plspng with the wind, to the All-Canadian second team. ment for MacLean, who returned to The win set the stage for the before Camilla Vejvalka scored with but were continually thwarted by Goalkeeper Rachel Zuidervliet was coach Laurier this year after taking National final against the Atlantic a spectacular long range shot, The All-Canadian goalkeeper Leanne outstanding, allowing only one goal a one-year hiatus to coach at Le Champions, Dalhousie. Burkitt's Hawks continued the pressure until Thompson. The second half was in the entire tournament Moyne College in upstate New York. goal not only secured the obvious, Celeste Burida won the ball in the much tighter, with neither team ere* laurier also scooped a number The 34 year-old coach and former that being the National ÜBC penalty and slotted the ball ating many good scoring chances. of awards a* Friday's All-Canadian player at Laurier, was the catalyst Championship, but for MacLean it past the goalkeeper to ensure the As the half progressed, the Hawks Banquet with Gigi Cigini named as for success this season. Starting off proved wrong some of the forces Golden Hawk victory. started te gain the advantage, and the CIAVs player ofthe year, as well by recruiting some standout players that he maintains worked against The host Carieton Ravens were with five minutes to play Vejvalka as being named a first team All- supplement an already talented Laurier all year. the next obstacle for the Hawks to broke free down the right flank and Canadian, NEWS Laurier places fourth in Maclean's Issuefocuses onfinancial crisis ofuniversities KATHERINE HARDING respectively. survey of 3,402 high school guid- experiencing. Cord News Comprehensive universities con- ance counselors, academic adminis- Maclean's pointed out that ICO Maclean's much anticipated, annual duct research activity and offer a trators, and CEO's of major corpora- considering both federal and £ university ranking hit the news- wide range of programs including tions. Laurier was recognized as provincial governments are O 5 stands this past Monday. Laurier both undergraduate and graduate being a high quality and innovative set to slash university fund- to moved up a notch from last year, professional degrees. university among the primarily ing, things are only going to 6 ranking fourth in the "primarily This year the University of undergraduate universities. Stephen get worse. g undergraduate" category. Victoria secured number one, with said Laurier's success in this area The article noted that in Q. The ranking divides universities University of Waterloo placing third should be "attributed to the stu- 1993-94, university students bor- affect a university, and consequently into three categories: medical/doc- behind Simon Fraser. dents". rowed more than $1 billion in feder- the education it can provide. torate, comprehensive, and primari- Within the 3 categories, each In the past, the university issue al student loans. The number of Stephen commented, "we are ly undergraduate. school is ranked according to their has been one of the most controver- food banks at Canadian universities going to have to tighten our belts Laurier falls into the primarily student body, classes, faculty, sial issues Maclean's publishes. Last and colleges has almost doubled in and protect the things we care

undergraduate category. These finances, library, and reputation. year fourteen universities decided the past three years. about - however, there is no magic schools focus on undergraduate Laurier earned first and second not to participate in protest of the Not only is the future looking wand." programs and offer few graduate places in "proportion [of students] methodology Maclean's uses. grim for students, but faculty and The university issue is by far programs. Mt. Allison, for the fourth with 75% or higher" and "average However, three dissenters, Carleton, administrations are facing funding Maclean's most popular issue, out- year in a row, ranked first overall, entering grade" in the student body Concordia, and Winnipeg, rejoined program cuts that will force them to selling their average weekly issue 4 followed by Trent, Acadia and category. the ranking this year. make difficult choices. to 1. Canadian University Press Wilfrid Laurier. Arthur Stephen, .Assistant VP of Unlike past university issues, this This year, every university in executive Stu Clark observed that Medical/Doctorate universities University Relations, was "happy" year's magazine took on a serious Alberta dropped in the Maclean's the universities shoulder the cost of offer a broad range of PhD pro- with Laurier's standing, noting "we tone. Gone is the section "What's rankings. Maclean's noted that from the research, while Maclean's takes grams, research, and medical are high in the categories that count, HotAVhat's Not," in which student 1994-1997, Alberta universities will in ail the profit. schools. The University of Toronto like the quality of students and fac- newspaper editors talked about have lost one-fifth of their provincial As well, Maclean's will be pub- decisively clinched this category, ulty". their campuses. It was replaced funding. lishing a book on Canadian universi- with first place rankings in eleven of Laurier also made significant with an article titled "Universities The decline in the rankings of ties, using the information they have the twenty-two categories. Queen's strides in a separate reputation Under Siege", discussing the finan- these universities substantiates how gathered in their surveys. The book and McGill placed second and third ranking, the result of a nationwide cial restraint most institutions are much provincial budget cuts can will be available in January. Profs emphasize importance of participation

KATIE PALMER selves, and gain insight from their why and now you are stuttering, sors have a responsibility to create a participation of new ideas as well as Cord News peers. turning red, and wishing you had climate that fosters participation, gain skills and competence." He It is better to remain silent and be However, DiCenzo admits that never put up your hand in the first provides direction, and outlines bet- feels that with increased participa- thought a fool, than to speak up and not all participation is constructive, place. And there's not a chance ter avenues to pursue. tion, a student's grades will increase remove all doubt" and a discussion can get off topic, you're going to put your hand up DiCenzo added that there is no and they will be more able to This truism may seem appealing especially when students do not next time. such thing as a stupid question. address things in the course. in a social setting, however the atti- focus their arguments. Another reason for the lack of "Many students are thinking of the Whether a student would like to tude it advocates is frustrating for Professor of History, Douglas insightful comments by students is same question but refuse to ask it in participate or not is totally up to professors. Lorimer, believes class participation that they are not prepared. " the classroom" she said. them, but in the opinion of many Picture this scenario: you have at the universitylevel is important to "Some students fall short in this "In this type of university set- faculty, coming prepared to class, come to your class unprepared, and the thinking process. responsibility," Lorimer commented. ting," Lorimer said, "students have and contributing to discussions can your professor asks a number of Students must take an active role However, he also said that profes- the opportunity to engage in the and will make you a better student. questions. You have no idea what he in critical thinking. But, he also rec- or she is talking about so you stare ognizes many students are more intently at your textbook, hoping the comfortable taking a passive role, prof will believe you are deep in preferring to absorb the informa- thought. tion. Unfortunately, every other stu- Tupper Cawsey, a professor in dent in your class is doing the same the School of Business and thing. One of the big draws of Economics, said that participation Laurier to high school students is depends on the subject matter being the small classes and the one on one presented, and hence not always relationships between professor and necessary. "But with participation," student. Indeed, in the recent he said, "students learn both to con- Maclean's ranking of university, in front and avoid conflict. You need these categories Laurier comes out both ofthese things in order to learn on top. But is this really what stu- how to be "positively' disagreeable dents want? Are students taking full rather than just being disagree- advantage Laurier's small class able." sizes? If speaking out in class is benefi- Maria DiCenzo, a professor in cial to learning, then why don't stu- the English Department, feels that dents take advantage of it? Cawsey on active class participation benefits suggested many students are afraid I students professor. She of the consequences. For example, CD both the and lA said that student input enables her you have finally mustered up z 0 to asses how well the students are enough courage to state your view, § CO understanding the concepts. and your professor asks you s As well, it helps students to "WHY?" explore concepts, challenge them- Why? You have not thought of 1

2 November 15,1995 theCord —(News) What's up Ontario around slashing campus

Thursday. Nov. 16 ￿Laurier Christian Fellowship is too much too fast hosting a IkridtyMident lunch at 12 noon in the Tbrret Bring a bag lunch! KEVIN SAGER tingent student loan program, The council says reduced uni- We would rather work with them, ￿ Charles Dodge will lecture on "A THE VARSITY, UNIVERSITY OF where repayment is based on grad- versity funding will also hurt the but quickly, withrespect to financial computer odyssey; the develop- Toronto uates' income level. economy. aid and deregulation," said ment of a medium for personal Toronto (CUP) — Ontario university Patterson says the council is "The impact on local economies Patterson. expression" in the Maureen presidents say the provincial gov- concerned with the lack of flexibility is going to be significant. To help make up for the lost rev- ForresterRecital Hall at 4 pro. ernment is proposing to take too the governmentis showing towards Universities in the past have been enue in operating grants, the coun- ￿ Chambermusic concert, Maureen much too fast out of the province's the cuts. She says reducing operat- part of the solution to stimulating cil says it would like to see some Forrester Recital Hall at 8 pro; post-secondary education budget. ing grants in such a short period of the economy," said Patterson. degree of deregulation of tuition free for Laurier students, $4 for "It's very hard to get past the time will make it difficultfor univer- But, she says that despite the fees, allowing Ontario universities WLU facultyand staff. most significant aspect of the to set tuition for particular pro- FHday, Nov. 17 Common Sense Revolution for us, grams. The council also says it sup- ￿The campus association for Bahai which is the cut in operating the Conservatives plan to ports the implementation of an Studies is holding informal gather- grants," said Bonnie Patterson, income-contingent loan repayment ings and discussions Friday at president of the Council of Ontario $400 program. 2:00 pm in the clubsroom (down Universities, an organization made cut million from Michol Hoffman, vice-president the hall from the 24 hour lounge up of Ontario university administra- Onfarin iinii/iiivifioc an#! of U of T's Graduate Students on the 3rd floor of the Students* tions. K wmEXS IUP tUMMl wtEIGI Union, says the government's plan Union Bldg). On October 19, the council will nonetheless be detrimental to Sunday, Nov. 19

proposals - released its response to deregulate tuition fees the interests ofstudents. ￿ Music at noon Meridian for post-secondary education out- "I think that all student groups Ensemble, Maureen Forrester lined in the Common Sense sities to adjust. council's opposition to cuts to uni- would have to agree that cuts are Hecilai Halt free. Revolution, the provincial Tory's "I worry about the magnitude of versities' operating grants, it plans going too far too fast. However, this Wednesday, Now. 22 election platform. what is proposed in the Common to take a conciliatory approach is typical. [It] simply dumps the ￿ Laurier Christian Fellowship gen- According to the Common Sense Sense Revolution. At this point, toward the provincial government. problem on students, and lets stu- eral meeting in Si01 at 5:30 pm. Revolution, the Conservatives plan we're not feeling optimistic at all. "Our greatest hope is to contin- dentspay," she said. Speaken Mark Wallace. to cut $400 million from the bud- It's hard to be optimistic when ue a dialogue. One can go about gets of Ontario universities and col- we're given assurances on the this by simply opposing [the] gov- leges, partially deregulate tuition funding cuts but not assurances on ernment. However, we don't think Special Non-stop fees, and introduce an income-con- flexibility," said Patterson. this is the most positive way to go. Direct Service to Students moved off- York U, Peterborough & Ottawa!! campus; faculty Return Fares from Wilfrid Laurier to: York University $22 lounge central Peterborough $44™^ SABRINA SACCOCCIO lounge. accusations that faculty lounge a is return Cord News According to the lounge users' being treated as more important Ottawa $87 I Located in the former Career committee member Mort Nelson, it than the accessibility of the students Prices do not include GST. Must have a valid Student Card. Services OflQce, the new University was the University's Administration to the Office of the Registrar. Lounge for faculty and staff has that wanted Purple and Gold to "We didn't even want to move," finally been completed and is open replace the staff and faculty lounge. claimed Nelson. "Part of the original for full use. "The staff and faculty did not ini- agreement was that we would get SCHEDULE INFORMATION (Effective October 29, 1995) The lounge was moved as part of new and better furnishings in the the renovations introducing the new lounge." FROM WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY TO YORK U, "2020 Plan" for WLU. Because of Reportedly, the new lounge is not it aiiyttiingr PETERBOROUGH AND OTTAWA this plan, offices and amenities all that attractive, and the promised around campus have been relocated. Puiple ana furnishings are yet to be acquired. Depart Laurier Arrive Destination Destination Some people think the placement "It's ugly, the furniture is terrible. 13:00 15:30 York University ofsome offices seems random; how- Our [student] lounge is better," 13:00 17:30 Peterborough ~~ ever, the plan takes into considera- Gold should McCormick said. 13:00 20:30 Ottawa tion Laurier's expected expansion The lounge has several different over the next 25 years. Important have been rooms. The Green Room opens with offices have been moved to off-cam- French doors and has a capacity of RETURN FROM YORK U, PETERBOROUGH & OTTAWA TERMINALS TO WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY pus locations (such as the Registrar's put to an oiT- 40 people. The main room holds 100 Office to 202 Regina Street) but people and has various uses. One of Origin Depart Origin Arrive Laurier according to the plan, that location campus its main purposes is as a lunch facili- York University 16:30 18:30 will one day be the centre of the ty and a daily meeting room. The Peterborough 14:30 18;30 main campus. ocation. University Lounge can also be fully Ottawa 11:30 18:30 "Personally, I don't like the new licensed for departmental receptions. location of the Registrar's Office," - Scott McCotmlck Dr. Rolland Smith, who is in These schedules operate Fri, Sun, H* said Scott McCormick, Students' charge of the renovations, could not H* - Will not operate on Sunday when Monday is a holiday. Union President. "In terms of conve- be reached for comment about the Will operate on Holiday Monday instead. nience and accessibility, the office tiate the change and did not suggest reasoning for moving Student should be closer to what the centre that the registrar's office be moved to Services off campus, while the of campus is as of 1995. If anything, 202 Regina," Nelson said. Purple and Gold takes a central loca- Purple and Gold should have been Nelson wanted to dispel rumours tion. Nelson suggested that one of put to an off-campus location." that the wishes of the staff have the reasons may be that there would Greuhaund Purple and Gold has moved to claimed priority over the needs ofthe not be enough room for the office the site of the old staff and faculty students, especially in regards to and its inevitable line-ups. Canada* 15 Charles St. W., Kitchener 741-2600 Resultsfrom the UBES referendum uMl be released next week. The decision was postponed HIRAVELCUIS because co-op students on work terms didnot i feel University Shops Plaza 886-0400 | they received enough *-» information. The travel company of the Canadian Federation of Students o

theCord November 15,1995 3 4 The Student Activities Department KRISTI SCHILLING staff to volunteers. Just to give you Blood Donor clinics. Another group that contributes Another important person Cord News an idea of how successful the volun- The Canadian Organization of to the fun of Student Activities is the involved with Student Activities is We have completed our first two teer system is at Laurier, last year Campus Activities (COCA) is a Trips Committee. This committee Dan Dawson, Programming and stops on our journey through the 330 people signed up for 120 regional conference, meeting this organizes trips for Laurier students Services Manager. He is a Ml time Student Union. Our next landmark Icebreaking positions. Laurier is one year in Ottawa. Members of our when it is time to take a break from staff member and has the experi- on the map is one which involves a of the few universities the stresses of university ence, knowledge, and connections three letter word: FUN. which boasts such tremen- life. For example, a trip to help Student Activities run The Student Activities depart- dous school spirit. Each to Acapulco, Mexico is smoothly. ment handles all the events and year, these volunteers are arranged for Reading In order to keep records on pro- activities that occur throughout the thanked at a Volunteer Week ductivity and progress, an evalua- Laurier year. Listed consecutively Appreciation night. The man who tion is made after every event. This are annual events: Orientation Student Activities over- governs this "depart- way. Student Activities can learn week, Shinerama, Homecoming, sees many committees. The largest BSA will be attending, providing ment of fun" is George Raptis. He is from the mistakes made, and make Hawktoberfest, Boar's Head Dinner, is the Board of Student Activities them with networking opportuni- responsible for the committees, recommendations for the next Winter Carnival, Charity Ball, (BSA). The BSA is involved in hiring ties. There are also national confer- events, and the budget of Student event. These reports, along with the Fashion Show, and an End of the different acts, organizing Wacky ences which are larger and very Activities. His job requires meeting volunteers, committees, and co-ordi- Year Party. Wednesdays, and a lot of other fun expensive, at which the president of with co-ordinators, handling com- nators of Student Activities help It takes a lot of co-operation to stuff that occurs on campus. They Student Activities and two co-ordi- mittees, and being responsible for keep the "fun" reputation of this

run these events - from full-time are also the co-ordinators for the nators attend. Student Activities "as a whole". department.

Bored in SCAN AND PR t NT \ WLU STUDENT PUBLICATIONS November II YEN UP YOUR Bag O'Crime REPORT n| Hteft Under$5000 apprehended a young offender in a WITH A SCANNEP M 0050 hrs Men 06 Nov 95 parking lot at UW in the process of Sometime between 1600hrs Pri 03 committing the same act. The mat- I IMAGE!! V Nov and 1100 hrs Sat 04 Nov, per- ter is still under investigation. son® unknown removed a comput- False Fire Alarm er & keyboard from the 0205 hrsSat 11 Nov 95 Cartography lab in the Arts An unknown individual activated a Building. The incident is under fire alarm pull station in the Student investigation. Union Building as patrons were POCBS II Break & Enter exiting the pubs. The Security Department would like to remind pRHfPPiPH /'-Jpr «» 0112 h»slUeo7Nov9s HflflKiVijliwM/ 1630 and 1900 on Tue 07 Nov retrieve their JED and the wristband

men, women and - for Wellington <*> someone bad stolen his cellular wfll be taken off otherwise, the phone from his coat pocket while staff will assume alcohol has been DEFROSTER winter 8 | pur- 112 IS\ Ave attendingan event at&eHaret. consumed; 4) ifthey attempt to boots for men and | | V women s <8 Theft Under $5000 (From Vehide) chase or if they consume alcohol FOAMTREAD slippers 1420 hrsFit 10 Nov 95 they will he immediately removed for the family ' Ikerac Jjfedffe A WLU student reported that per- from the bar and banned for ayear BL MO *« son® unknown had thrown a rock after they are 19; 5) under the EAD) Mon.,Tues., Wed. 10 am -5 pm % car and taken Act, the minimum t^GTR Thurs., 8pm LM_J through her window liquor licence workboots and Fri. 10am; underage is s a WHgJ a stereo cassette deck, A short time charge for drinking rubber footwear P payment later Waterloo Regional Police $103.75.

4 November 15,1995 theCord (News) Students push for link to centre

NAOMI IVES -200 videos, 100independent period- communities to share, rather than sentation of alternative views and Development Agency). Cord News icals, and hundreds of clippings duplicate resources. information on our campus is essen- If the referendum is successful, On Tuesday, November 7, the about the economies, human rights, Peter Eglin, a professor of tial to the quality and scope of the $25,000 will be collected each year Laurier Students Supporting the social, and political situations in the Sociology, spoke about the specific education we receive. from Laurier students. Global Community Centre held a countries of the "Third World," as value to students on this campus, Laurier Students Supporting the This money will ensure that even public information meeting. They well as Canada's role in develop- and extolled the benefits of the Global Community Centre are if the rest of Global's non-govern- wanted to introduce people on cam- ment, trade, and international poli- Global Community Centre. attempting to obtain permission mental funding fails, Laurier stu- pus to the centre's activities, and tics. He pointed out that a link from the Students' Union to hold a dents and staff will have access to explain why it needs support from Many of these resources are not between the Global Community referendum. They want $5 fee to be library privileges, curriculum sup- Laurier students. available at Laurier's library. Gorvett Centre (G.C.C.) and Laurier would collected by WLUSU to support the port, classroom talks, and aware- Lou Murray Gorvett, the librari- remarked that there have been an mirror the partnerships that UW centre. ness campaigns. an at Global, spoke to the group increasing number of referrals back has with Project Ploughshares and like many other community ser- about the resources available to and forth between the Laurier W. P. I. R. G. (Waterloo Public vices, Global had two-thirds of its For more information on G.C.C., Laurier students. The centre has a library and Global. The current bud- Interest Research Group). He also operating budget slashed by CIDA call 746-4090, or drop in at 89-91 library with roughly 1,500 books, get cuts illustrate how crucial it is for argued that institutionalized repre- (the Canadian International King Street North, Waterloo. Is Canadian security too lax?

RYAN LOCKE to senseless and random acts of vio- wackos in the world. against their own will. Our Prime duty at any given time has been Cord News lence. Our collective consciousness But we musn't allow ourselves to Minister has virtually no say as to increased, and their patrols have Canada is without a doubt a kinder, of this frightening fact was realized give in to fear. To alter our way of the level of security that will be sur- been made much more visible. It gentler and safer nation than the last week with the startling incident living, to voluntarily surrender those rounding him at any given time. would seem that our authorities are United States. Just ask Abe Lincoln of the knife-wielding psycho who fundamental freedoms in which our Chretien himself has said that he on top of the situation and, with any or J.F.K. - I'm sure they'd agree. The broke into 24 Sussex Drive. He man- ancestors believed and for which isn't interested in seeing an R.C.M.P. luck, this sort ofthing won't happen socio-cultural factors behind our dif- aged to avoid the obviously inade- they fought and died, is to surrender officer "at the breakfast table," but again. ferences are far too numerous and quate security around our Prime ourselves to the most ultimate vic- that doesn't necessarily mean that In the meantime, if we still convoluted to get into here, but suf- Minister's Official Residence. timization there is. there won't be one there. In the believe we are no longer safe in our fice it to say they are related to the Apparently, measures have been Naturally, this doesn't mean we wake of last week's fiasco at 24 homes, perhaps we should think not fact that most Canadians don't keep taken to ensure this sort of thing are to throw caution and common Sussex, many citizens are demand- about building higher fences, but loaded Colt 45's in the drawers of never happens again. sense to the wind. I don't plan on ing that Canada adopt the American rather about applying pressure to their bedside tables. The sad fact though, is that it taking any late night strolls through style of executive security procedure our elected officials to reform laws Of course, Canada is not immune probably will. There will always be the back alleys of Toronto, and I'm in a misguided belief that this would such as the Young Offenders Act, not suggesting that any of you do somehow make the office of Prime and criminal law on violence against either. We as individuals are ulti- Minister a safer one to hold. But women. mately responsible for our own per- American-style security couldn't The answer, my friends, will sonal security. keep Reagan from getting shot, and never be found in the barrel of a Unfortunately, public officials like there are no guarantees that it gun. We arm ourselves, they arm

Mr. Chretien are forced to play by a would work any better up here in themselves better - it's a viscous cir- different set of rules. These people the Great White North. cle. Looking to the Americans for a are forced to accept numerous Steps are already being taken to model of crime prevention is like intrusions into their daily lives by tighten security at 24 Sussex Drive. looking to Homer Simpson for diet

security staff and bodyguards, often The number of R.C.M.P. officers on tips - it justwon't work.

PETE ROBINSON though there wasn't already some

Cord News tension surrounding Ottawa - How ironic it was: while the world Dallaire's intrusion came only five was in a state of shock over the days after the razor-thin victory of assassination of Yitzk Rabin, a the "No" forces in Quebec. In fact deranged man entered the home of Dallaire told the media that he felt Prime Minister Jean Chretien armed "betrayed" by the No victory, and with a knife and attempted tokill the that Quebec should be an indepen- PM as he slept with his wife. dent country "like France." The attempt was foiled because No one wants Canada to be like of the quick thinking of Mrs. the U.S., where a person's collective Chretien, and the incompetence of wisdom seems to be measured by the would-be killer. However, as the the bulk of his arsenal. Rut the way Rabin assassination showed, a things are now, they must certainly momentary lapse of security can change. Granted, Canada's political prove fatal. There is no telling situation is not even remotely similar whether or not the next Andre to Israel's (thank God). However, Dalliare will be stopped if security Rabin's assassination, where his measures around high-profile fig- security forces let a man go by ures don't change. unchecked and hang around his Itis absolutely unforgivable that a motorcade, show that even letting man could gain entiy to the property your guard down for a moment can of 24 Sussex Drive and stay for 45 be extremely costly. minutes, gaining access to the resi- People opposed to increased dence and taunting security cam- security measures tend to argue that eras. Furthermore, the RCMP this is Canada - the break-in had to allowed six minutes to elapse before be an isolated incident. They seem to coming to the aid of the Chretiens, forget that human beings are not like instead choosing to secure the felines - we only get one life. What grounds. harm could it do to have an Perhaps the Mountie who fell increased security presence around asleep at the controls took six min- public figures like Chretien? It's not utes to awake from his dazed slum- like it would harm our national ber torealize the Prime Minister was image - and it might save his life. TICKETS AVAIL. AT CENTRE SPOT in serious danger. What does harm our image Had events unfolded differently though, is the fact that our leader $2 ADVANCE, $4 AT DOOR and Chretien had been injured or has to grab an Eskimo carving in killed, you can imagine the uproar order to protect himself against that would have ensued. It wasn't as someone breaking into his home. SAT., NOV. 25 AT TURREl?

theCord November 15,1995 5 OPINION

Editorial the Your WLUSU BOD: Now controversy-free! Scene: The Texas plains in the middle ofthe night. Some justthat as Directors of the Board of a three million dol- cowboys are huddled around a campfire in the middle lar corporation, they should be a little more... active. cord a circle chuckwagons. Last week, VP: Finance Joel Lynn presented an of of Cowboy 1(Looks around): "Seems pretty quiet tonight." Operating Statements Summary relating the corpora- (Tltmbleweed rolls across the ground) tion's financial performance as ofmid-October. The bot- Cowboy 2: "Yup." (takes a slug from whiskey bottle, tom line: the Union is currently about $35,000 below pauses dramatically) "Too quiet." budgeted figures. The $75,000 surplus that was fore- WLUSP casted in the summer is now looking more like $40,000. By this time last year, our Students' Union had been This is not the end of the world, but it is at least cause A WilfridLaurier University Student Publication embroiled in controversy for months. for concern. Did the Directors have many questions? In the summer there was Carpetgate, which saw the Did thev appear concerned? Did they appear interest- 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3C5 (BOD) the ed? Well, no. (519) 884-2990 Board of Directors ask for the resignations of Lynn is an speaker who knows Fax: (519) 884-5596 Operations Management Board (OMB) after the 0MB Now, excellent his Advertising: (519) 884-5092 decided to purchase new carpeting for Wilfs even stuff, but I didn't think it possible to explain a $35,000 though the BOD had cut it out ofthe budget. They didn't discrepancy quite so easily. The BOD must now decide bottom line estimate accept the resignations, but then-VP : Finance Alison whether to accept the new or to "I just can't send a man to death without Watson didn't come back. rework the budget to get back to a $75,000 surplus. As talking about it for a while, that's all." Then, there were the epic struggles with Director for why the corporation is currently 35 grand behind? — Henry Fonda, "12 Angry Men" Anish Makim, who was asked to resign, was removed Apparently this doesn't warrant any discussion, save as Chair of Finance and Building, and had recall pro- Lynn's explanations. ceedings started against him. The decision to startrecall Another of the BOD's more interesting moments Editorial Board proceedings was then rescinded, and Makim's voting came at the October 25th meeting. The subject? ÜBES. Editor-in-Chief Scott Stinson privileges were suspended. Somewhere in the midst of President Scott McCormick reported that Dean of the News Editor Kathy Cawsey this, Director Chris Bradley resigned from the BOD. SBE Alex Murray asked that the BOD review and revise Associate News Editor Tom Hrubes Controversy? The Royal family had nothing on this the proposed ÜBES constitution by October 31st. After Entertainment Editor Melanie Seal group. almost an hour of mostly pointless discussion - pointless Assistant Entertainment Editor Aaron Hunter In stark contrast, this year's version of the Students' because it was unclear what ÜBES actually wanted to Sports Editor Pete Robinson Union BOD has been to controversial what the RCMP do at that time - the BOD unanimously defeated a Assistant Sports Editor Libbi Hood Security has been to competent. Not very, that is. motion to have the Constitution, Operations and Features Editor David Popovich Instead, two months have gone by with nary a peep Development Committee (COD) review and revise the Production Manager JeremyKen- of significance. But just like in those old Westerns, ÜBES constitution by the 31st. Sounds fine, but the COD tilings may in fact be too quiet. is a standing committee. All they had to do was meet, Cord Staff After the turmoil of last year, only two Directors look at the ÜBES constitution, and decide whether they Production Assistants Megan Barnard chose to run for another term on the Board; Chair Russ could get it fixed in time. They don't need a directive Cotleen Nicholson Qark and Vice Chair Monica Khurana. So entering this from the BOD to do this. Tina Tarn year, there was hope that a very new Board would be Strangely, the BOD debated the ÜBES issue when it Classified Coordinator Christine Romeo able to avoid the political infighting that sucked up so didn't need to, and brushed off the budget shortcomings Circulation and Filing Tony Tsai much of last year s BOD's efforts. So far that has proved when perhaps a little discussion would have been wise. Copy Editors Ameena Ahsan to be true. There is hope for the 1995/96 WLUSU BOD. They Natalie Haines However, while the new Board brings with it verylit- could start by posting office hours, and showing up for International Coordinator Lilian Schaer tle baggage, it is also short on experience. And it shows. meetings. TWo months should be plenty of time to sort BOD meetings this year have taken on a familiar out office hours, and attendance for meetings has been Student Publications Staff pattern. OMB members give their reports, and the between eleven and thirteen out offifteen all year. Photo Manager Marion Hensel Directors listen. Not much else going on. Now, I don't They may be new, but that shouldn't discourage Photo Technicians Phill Kinzinger mean to suggest that the BOD should be screaming out themfrom doing their jobs. Steve Williams tough questions whenever someone takes a breath. It's Jenny Wong Art Director Andrew White Stinson, Editor-in-Chief _ Editorial by Scott , Systems Administrator Neil Weber The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those ofthe CordStaff, the edito- Public Relations Manager Carla D Annibale rial board, or V&ljHd Laurier University Student Publications. Advertising Manager Tracey Bowers Ad Sales Representative Rob Hornick My point is that very few of us can afford to pay a Ad Production Manager DaveKerth twenty dollar fine, as the result of one person's stupidity. Ad Production Assistants Danielle Chartrand Furthermore, I am quite sure that it will not cost five Shannon Douds hundred dollars to fix, so where is the money going? Treasurer Jamie Hill Letters We have all paid close to three thousand dollars to live here, as well as a fifty dollar floor fund as soon as we Board of Directors arrive in September. If the fine is going to be so stiff, I President Susan Barry and many ofmy floor mates suggest deducting from the Directors Karen Bula ToEditor the floor fund, since we haven't seen a red cent of it any- Harvey Garman Steve Groenveld how. But I suppose that our suggestions don't mean David Janzen Laurie Legault much to those in question. Furthermore, we have been ShayneLidkea Unhappy with fine told to not step foot in the Mac 3 East females lounge or we will be kicked out. Dear Editor, Our twenty-four hour lounge doesn't have a TV The Cord will not print anything that is racist, sexist, or homophobic in nature, as deemed by the staff as a voting body. The Cord will not print anything in violation of its Code of Ethics, outlined in The Cord Constitution. Cora I am a resident of Macdonald House, here at Wilfrid because last year "somebody" stole it. I was under the subscription rates are $15.00 per term for addresses within Canada, and $18.00 for outside the country. The Cord University. I am writing with regards to some- impression that all twenty-four hour lounges were to be is printed by CanWeb Printing. The Cord is a member of Canadian University Press. All commentary is strictly the Laurier opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect those of the Cora staff, the editorial board, or vVLU thing that happened here on Tliesday November 7, equipped with a TV, and if we don't get one, I think Publications. Copyright © 1994 by WLU Student Publications, 75 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario N2L It 3C5. 1995. every single resident is entitled to some money back On the day in question, sometime after 4:00 am, seems that we are constantly paying for other people's Katie Palmer, Naomi Ives, Ryan Contributors:. Paul McLean, Sabrina Saccoccio, somebody lounge Mac 3 West floor) mistakes, we are sick of it. One of my floor mates Locke, Katherine Harding, Kristi Schilling, Barry Maclean, Jim entered title of (my and Donnelly, Celeste Burkitt, Tom Fuke, Kelly Westlake, Brad Ross, and proceeded to throw beer bottles at the wall. The questioned my Don as to what would happen of we Tanya Ventura, George Raptis, Joel Lynn, Lori Dysievick, Brandon result was three fist sized dents in the wall, and a large stood up for ourselves and refused to pay. His answer Watson, Keli Watson, Scott McKay, Simon Isbister, Conor McCreery, mess of glass. The following day, my entire floor was was that we "would be in serious trouble." Can anyone Jason Paul, Jason Kalra, Deanna Nascimben, Mike Vencel banned from our lounge indefinitely, our TV taken, and please define "serious trouble?" I was under the each and every person was fined $20 dollars. The dis- impression that we were already in serious trouble. turbing part of the whole story is that our floor seems to I was told by many people that residence is a home Policy be divided now, with nobody sure who to trust or away from home, and that floor mates and co-residents Letters believe. Myself and three floor mates were the last peo- are like a new family Bullshit. I'm sick to death of feel- ￿All letters must be signed and submitted with the aufttor's name, student ple in the lounge, and we left for bed just before 4:00 ing like a convict in my own home. identification number and telephonenumber. || am. Upon our departure everything was fine, aside Neil Al-Rawass *M letters printed wife the author's name. Letters can be printed from the usual mess of pots and pans and empty beer without the name only by permission ofthe BditoHn-OM bottles you would expect from a first year male floor. * letters must be received by IXiesday at noon for publication in that We are unsure ifwe locked the door on our exit, but ifit Wilf's also for frosh week's issuein print, on disk, or via e-mail to; 2£[email protected] ■■ . was left open any vandal or guest could have done what * Letters that are submitted on disk or via, e-mail mustbeaocompanied by we are accused of. If there is a fine for leaving the Dear Editor: a signed hardcopy. lounge unlocked, I would gladly pay it. However, each I am writing in response to Ann-Marie Smith's article finest on- • Letters mustbe typed, double spaced,and cannot exceed 500 words. and every person on my floor is being fined $20 dollars, (Nov.B) heralding the status of Wilfs as the Although year student, I felt ￿ The Cordreserves the rigit to edit any fetter. $peißng vdtt with a grand total of$480. This is completely unfair and campus bar. I am a second notbe coirsctcd* disgusting abuse of power by our house council, espe- compelled to form a rebuttal to Ann-Marie's flagrant since it obvious that the cul- comments about the status offirst year students here at .* Hie Cord reserves theright to Mjfect any letterin whole or in part* thatis cially has become blatantly in violation ofexisting Cord policies/ pritis not one of us. Continued no page 7

6 November 15,1995 theCord -(Opinion) Letters to the Editor, and a former it Attic have made it possible to continued from page 6 student quickly featuring Bertha's could and sexism are concerned, the caught my eye. Every year the Cord, (Investigating the attic, Nov 8). I shrink the band photo a smidge to majority tends to shy away - not Laurier, and specifically at our at one time or another prints a com- hereby completely agree with Mr. accommodate a few more lines of sure if the public is "ready to handle beloved Wilfs. mentary in regards to the two stu- Vencel's opinions regarding Bertha's text. these sorts of things". I say, kudos to Like many of my colleagues, I dent pubs. I must compliment you Attic's performance and future Let me repeat that I love Bertha's Catriona Shennan - a Laurier feel very lucky to have two excellent when I say, yours was easily the prospects as they are certainly on Attic. I think thatthey deserve all the drama student who launched, cast,

watering holes right next door to me most positive I have read to date. their way to great things — I've praise in the world and I was hon- and directed the performance. Her (yes, 1 am including the Turret). There are a few issues which I never seen them as together as they oured to have been a part of an interpretation gave us a disturbing Also, the new additions to both of wish to comment on, however. The were that night (their final song excellent show that they put togeth- look into the claustrophobic and sti- these pubs has been greatly wel- comparison between the Ttirret and "Survive" was the perfect way to er with great professionalism. I'm fling world of the play's content comed by myself and my other Wilfs is a tough one because they end the evening). A lot of credit just pissed about the fact that the which was heightened by the inti- small-town friends, especially the are two completely different places should be given to the band as the other talented artists contributing to macy of the theatre space. Catriona pool tables in the Turret, which offering two totally different experi- whole show was their idea and it the successful evening (some managed to draw out powerful and gives us another excuse not to ences. We are not trying to compete was through their focused efforts belonging to Laurier) went com- emotional moments from her actors dance. Of course, Wilfs lies right at with each other for the same buck that a great atmosphere was creat- pletely unnoticed by Mr. Vencel. despite the fact that the play's sub- the top ofmy list for favourite hang- but instead, offer choices. This, in ed. Bertha's Attic and Jacob's Room are ject matter is clearly difficult, outs, what with its great food and the long run, becomes more prof- My problem with the review at the Tlirret on November 15th for exhausting, and upsetting. I think excellent atmosphere. However, I itable to you the student. stems from the first words of the sth the first WLU Musicians' Network viewers were presented with a work fail to share Ann-Marie's analysis Thanks to Ann-Marie for paragraph: "The rest of the bands "Laurier Live" concert, by the way. that gave them a scare, a realization that Wilfs is only "for the big kids", acknowledging the rebound of our and poets were not bad either...". See you there. of the plight of a victimized woman and that any punk frosh that dares Friday's business. Alternative Friday This is the only reference Mr.Vencel Matthew Osborne who is frightened, angered, and dri- to set foot inside the door is "tread- has been very successful and has makes to the other artists perform- ven to gain control over her attacker

ing in our waters" and will be cen- attracted a "senior" crowd which ing that night — it seems he felt that by entering into a dangerous life tered out and publicly ridiculed. The means there are other options bed- none of them were worth mention- Liked the play and death situation. The review in last time I checked, Laurier was a side the dance Thursday crowd. ing by name. And that is an incredi- the Cord mentioned something to school brimming with easy-going I do, however, take exception to ble insult. Dear Editor, the effect that the performing group people who welcomed everyone the comments that Tbrret bouncers I won't try and convince the A week ago, I not only had the plea- had bitten off more than they could with open arms, regardless of their are anal. This is a perception not world that I don't mind not being sure of viewing Iauriers new studio chew. Indeed, the play is emotional age. justified. I have got a fantastic bunch mentioned myself — I'm an incur- theatre space constructed out of the and difficult to extremes to watch, I don't intend to question the of guys working for me and I assure able egomaniac and I'll readily back of the theatre auditorium, but I let alone be a part of, but I feel a authority of Ms. Smith; I mean after you, anal that are not. The students admit it — but to ignore Scott also got to see a strong and daring comment like that should be more all, we have "all seen you at the must understand that on Thurs/Fri Deneau, My Neighbour Ned, Jacob's performance of what is a strongand directed towards the playwright Turret". Still, it is amazing at how nights the alcohol demons take over Room, Dave Pitt and Dirge (and how daring play, Extremeties, by William whose construction of the play itself quickly she has elevated herself to a their souls and make them do crazy about Laurier's own mad poet Mastrosimone. I was, however, is what presents us with the highly plateau where she can look down things. My guys are students just as Anton Volcansek?) is simply bad bothered by the review. charged "extremeties" of its subject upon the first year students and everyone else and are told to follow journalism. Every act that night Extremeties has long been one of matter. Catriona Shennan and her console them by saying "no offense the legal and house rules set out sounded as good or better than I've my favourite plays due to the issues cast should be commended for pre- frosh, but try to compare it to the regarding their jobs. Sorry Tom if ever heard them and deserved raised in it that are rarely presented senting a sturdy performance that minor niner concept." Since she was they took too long to check your I.D. praise and respect (the crowd anywhere else in theatre. I also managed to render the audience in first year herself only a few scant As far as "moshing" goes, its OK to seemed to think so). I understand admire the play for the diverse and dead silent and a little shaken which months ago, I guess that makes her do so until others around you start about space limitations for articles powerful characterizations within it. I believe was the intent desired. a "big grade ten now". I myself can- to be injured (and YES this does but I think that today's technology It seems that where rape, violence, Stefanie Trudeau not distinguish a frosh student from happen, trust me). The security guys a senior student at a simple glance, work their tails off every night pre- and I only hope that on one of my venting fights, busing tables, and The belated conspiracy frequent visits to Wilfs I am not mis- cleaning up vomit just so your takenly identified as a frosh by Ms. demons can run wild. Now for $6.85 KELLY WESTLAKE the "Get Well Soon" card. Once that People to put it in their books and Smith and heckled until the verge of /hr is this a reputation Ihey deserve? Cord opinion person is feeling good again, what's make it a won! 1 think that some tears. As far as the music repetition, So, i was out at a greeting card stare the point in a "Belated Get Well greeting card company should have Wilfs is a treat that deserves to well we try and mix it up but its the other day and something Soon" card? I mean it's likely to the guts to print a card that tells the be enjoyed by all Laurier students, what everybody loves to hear. occurred to me that I felt necessary depress them that you didn't care truth! and I sincerely hope that no first To all those students who enjoy to get out in the open. As I strolled enough about their health to send Instead of "Happy Belated year students were discouraged the Turret as the so-called "bizarre up and down the isles of cards I the damn card when they really Birthday" the card should read: from attending this fine establish- ritual" and have any ideas or con- noticed something peculiar/ needed it! There Is also very little Tm an asshole. Fm so wrapped up ment because of some reckless and cerns in regards to the place, please Although they had greeting cards need for a "Belated Merry in my own life that.I forgot the most unsubstantiated comments that feel free to come up and discuss it lis* every occasion imaginable, only Christmas" card. Christmas is a important day in yours. Sorry this appeared in last week's issue. To with either myself or one of my stu- the birthday card section had spe- tough holiday to forget. card is late. Happy Birthday," every first year student at Laurier, I dent managers. It is your place to cial belated cards. How come there Why are they called "belated" The world would be a lot better would like to extend an invitation to "hang", tell us what ya want! are only belated cards for birth- birthday cards? 112 mean, these cards place with this kind of honesty. Why tread into our waters and hang out Rob Cresswell, Class of '93 days? Do people not also forget aren't belated, they're LATE! If is there an "h" at the beginning of with the "big kids" next Wednesday Turret Operations Manager anniversaries, graduations, and the you're going to forget about some- honesty? It serves no purpose, it's night. like? Do we forget birthdays one's birthday you should at least like buying your pet fish a tooth' Brent Reynolds because our sub-conscious knows have the decency to admit it on the brush. I think the word "onesty" Insulted artist that we can always send a belated card and not hide behind the word should have told the Dictionary card? "belated." Is belated even a word? I People "no thanks. I really don't Bouncers anal? Dear Editor: Sometimes it is understandable think it was developed by a market- think I need that consonant at ail. This is my first letter to the Cord and thai belated cards do not exist for ing team at Hallmark who in turn No really, give that "h" to open, it Dear Editor: it figures that I would write it after certain situations. Take for instance bribed the Webster's Dictionary needs it more than 1 do." I would just like to comment on your graduating. I wish to comment on Nov. Bth article comparing Wilfs Mike Vencel's review of the and the Turret. As Turret manager November 3rd Sigfried Hall show Our House: Inside the Parrot Club

JASON PAUL become like brothers, we started We've all had our bad moments. Cord Opinion calling ourselves The Parrot Club. One of my roommates last winter, Cord Feedback So what happens once your first It's our symbol of having good times after the bar, spent the night hug- year ofresidence is over? For some, and making the most of having ging a hydro pole beside the Beaver things quiet down and it becomes loads of school work. gas station. Another threw up for Judge Ito has gotit going 0n... Yates Cup predictions - oh how more serious. Well, not in my house, There are steady arguments about two hours after a long night Conor McCreery accurate. WLUI73 - 3 UWO ??? living with nine guys has led to a lot over petty issues. If you forget to before being taken to the hospital. A Michelle Graham of good times, too much yelling and turn your light off, you get yelled at. few of them like to go for bike rides The largest lake in the world is the many embarrassing moments. I'm You have to pay fifty cents to use the at three in the morning. Last year Caspian Sea. Lake Superior is the Anton is a God! Stay Featherless! sure my living experience has been dryer, but sheets are free. Nobody one of the boys came home with a largest fresh water lake. Laurie Nicholls different from others, but it has wants to turn the heat on until girl he couldn't remember and then Brad Ross been just as much fun as rez and December, so in the meantime, broke his arm falling over a rail. First I wonder where the Hockey the food is better. everyone has to wear heavy The condition of our house is Love that cover idea! Pool is, but Feedback gets snuffed. We're all quite different in sweaters and jackets in the living definitely not up to par with ourreal Ingrid Nielsen Now the Pool is up, but where is my tastes- from rock to dance and room. Here's a tip, get your rent all homes. It is a danger to walk any- name? Were my choices that bad? sports to fashion. The one similarity inclusive, thereby avoiding these where in your socks because there Melanie Seal - you're my hero! Sean Grimes is we like to have fun and they're all problems. are stains and wet spots every- Ann Huskinson Tom Hrubes - can't wait to check a bunch of good guys. We work There is plenty of peer pressure. where. you're 1.D.! harder trying to throw a good party Since there are so many of us, This is our last year of university. Ann-Marie Smith- great article. Brent P. Lanthier, Anal Bouncer than doing our school work. someone is always going out and if We will never get to experience four I have yet to have a solid night's you don't go and stay in for the years like this again. It isn't possible sleep but it's greathanging out with night you're called a baby until you to sum it up in a few paragraphs Without Feathers the boys all night playing cards (or change your mind. We actually have but as long as you have compatible is in NSK, page 19, this issue Monopoly) and shooting the shit. a trophy that is awarded to the roommates it will be the best time of After two years together we've biggest part timer. your life.

theCord November 15, 1995 7 FEATURE High Anxiety: Pushing it to the limit Vacation ofDoom

MARY KATE SULLIVAN seconds, thenround up the kids who are con- More than one tourist protested, "What do room, but we really needed a break". They Cord Features tentedly splashing in the puddles that form you MEAN I can't park here?" I am thankful are going to have a good time if it kills them. As I trudged home through the snow this from the mist. For many people, the mist is a that I wasn't a parking lot attendant, who had The stress inducing nature of enjoyment is week, laden with books for one of my many great concern because they don't want to get to revive several vacationers who fainted at hardly limited to vacations. I am reminded of essays, I dreamt of running away to some wet. It's surprising how many tourists think the words, "Eleven dollars please". my high school prom. exotic locale like Florida. I would bask in the it's completely logical to wear their new Gucci This brings me to the most common com- 1 had spent tons ofmoney on a dress, I had sun, read trashy magazines, and clear my shoes to go and look at a thousand tonnes of plaint about tourist towns: everything is so miraculously found a date, and damn it, it mind of any remotely academic thoughts. I rushing water. expensive. The relaxing effects of holidays was going to be the best night of my life. The began to actually consider it. I would have to Another stress factor on vacation is the wear off quickly once the Visa bill arrives. One actual night is kind of a blur to me now, but I buy a new bathing suit and some new warm traffic. My cousin went on a bike tour of harried mother of four asked me quite seri- do have clear images of trudging through weather clothes, and since I don't like planes I countless malls, and my mother's voice say- would have to find another quick way down ing, "My wedding dress didn't cost this there. Of course I would need to find some- would rather wander around the much!" You would have thought my friends where to stay, and the question arose of 1 and I were discussing nuclear disarmament, whether I could fit Disney and Epcot in on one the way we huddled together to debate if it day? Suddenly midterms and essays didn't gardens or hike through the gorge was better to ask that certain boy or wait to seem so stressful any more. be asked. It amazes me that in the nineties we sup- man pay eigtit ducks to see a wax While I can sit back and laugh at my posedly have more leisure time than in past naivete now, every year I have a similar stress decades, yet people seem more stressed out attack at Christmas. That time of peace and than ever before. For a lot of people, nothing replica of JeffreyDahmer. joy can turn into a big headache. There is causes more anxiety than getting away from always that delicate balance between seem- it all. Last summer I worked at an information Europe a few years ago, and she still talks ously, "How much is it going to cost me to see ing too cheap and seeming too extravagant. booth at the tourist Mecca of Niagara Falls. I about the crazy drivers in France and Italy. In the falls?". Ridiculous prices are expected, Another big problem for me is that I have have never seen so many stressed people in Niagara Falls, the drivers seem to be divided and people shell out five dollars for small fries three brothers. Who knows what guys want? my life. into those who know exactly where they're at Denny's without batting an eye. The crazy I always give up in despair and inevitably buy The most common question was, "How going and want to get there immediately, and thing is, some of the greatest attractions in them boxer shorts with dumb patterns on can I see everything in under three hours?" those who slow down at eveiy building, hop- Niagara Falls are free. I would rather wander them. By this point they can probably get by There's nothing like a relaxing day of sight- ing it will magically turn out to be their desti- around the gardens or hike through the gorge for a month without doing laundry. seeing. One little boy asked his father if they nation. than pay eight bucks to see a wax replica of So the question remains: what can one do could go to look at the falls soon, and the man Then there are the pedestrians. Tourists Jeffrey Dahmer. to relieve stress? A quiet drive? Perhaps a lit- replied, "No time! The gift shop's closing." In seem to forget that moving vehicles can be Ironically, spending a lot of money creates tle shopping? My preferred method is to put fact, sometimes the children have longer dangerous. I once had someone actually sit on the pressure to have a good time. You can on a cd and dance around my room It's easy, attention spans than the adults. The parents the hood of my car to rest while I was in a almost read people's thoughts: "We could it's inexpensive, and best of all it doesn't stare meditatively at the falls for about thirty traffic jam. Another big problem is parking. have used this money to renovate the bath- involve parking. On the brink

DAVID POPOVICH who seem to be enjoying life are golden moment. Take advantage Cord Features those on Bay Watch and beer of that precious second. You're So I'm a bit high-strung, my commercials. Of course who body can rest after you've hit pupSs are always dilated and fro ever said anxiety can't be ftm? maximum exhaustion and permanently wired. Is this really Cant sleep? Is the OPEN 24 you're lying lace down on the abad thing? I know I'msiressed HOURS sign above your brain carpet inhaling all that stuffyour and I've got that everlasting burning bright? Is eveiy second vacuum didn't pick up the first neuro-electoc-static-charged ofyour day listed on that "things time. system to prove it! I guess I'm to do" M, which now comes to Information super highways, justa lueky member of the 21st hard cover? Does the word vaca- mass media and pulp fiction; it Century's Atomic Anxiety tion or relaxation have about as all blows across the planet like a Association. You can always pick much meaning as the word hurricane of knowledge. Face us out by our secret shaking thaumshirgy? Wei, welcome to the wind! Stand in the wake of hands ...or is that hand shake? the Nineties! The last time 1 had tie data steam Learn all youcan How can you lead a boring a Mag breathing 124%authen- and keep learning. Ours is a humdrum life in die age of dis- tic FrarMn Mint spare minute I quest for knowledge! Now is the covery and adventure? High discovered that using it to relax time to live! The worlds a pretty intensityisnt justthe best way to was such a waste of time that I big place and you don'twant to go; it's the only way. Whoever decided to do something produc- miss anything on this E ticket said modern convenience would tive. tour. revolutionize our future was Ah, productive! That's the So much, so little time. Live absolutely right. However, way to he. Who wants to sit life to the fullest and take as instead of giving us time we've around in those simulated many free samples as you can used our new technology to nagahide monster-truck get, Don't let stress get you extract time from our Ives alto- loungers and listen to their arter- down: use it to your advantage. gether. Spontaneity only comes ies harden, when you can be liv- Do you really need the power of in spurts ofinsanity and combus- ing life to the fullest at 54,000 persuasion when you've got the tion, Make sure you choose it kilometres a second out on the Intensity offrustration? wisely. edge? Sure you can relax, but Some call it stress, others We're on the verge of the make sure you're doing some- anxiety. Just remember, mem- PBttfcKINZMSBE new and the people thing you languish that bership does have it's privileges. KCiUREX century only while to

8 November 15,1995 theCord -{Feature) Night of the living student

KRISTEN SCHMALZ stress really is the perfect scapegoat. When Cord Features your parents get on your case about never call- So here we aire in the middle of finals with ing or writing, all you have to do is say "Oh I midterms just around the corner. That is, in the am so stressed!" They buy it. Ifthey don't buy it middle of midterms with finals just around the at first, asking what year it is usually works. corner. No one likes to be stressed out, especially Everyone seems to be so stressed at this when it gets to the point where you can't time of year. Midterms seem to have a talent remember how to use that box that used to for turning fairly intelligent university students have the little moving and talking pictures in it into mindless zombies with limited fine motor or when you start using phrases like "the control. Hirret? where?" There's nothing like stress to Just last weekend I found myself out for put you out of touch with normal society. brunch pouring my coffee cream into my soup. Stress isn't bad necessarily — it makes you It's not like the floating chunks of vegetables work harder, which is good when you have a gave me a clue that it wasn't exactly Folgers. midterm or a gazillion page essay coming up. It It's dumb moves just like this one that I is only bad when it paralyzes you so much that attribute to stress. What about the dumb you can't even think straight. Therefore I have moves we make when not under stress? Easy concluded that stress is a necessary or at least KINZINGER its the stress that we will soon be under stress an unavoidable part of university life. once again. So calm down will youf* Have a cup of cof- PHILL OK, that last part was stretching it a bit but fee. PICTURE: Stress, and how to relieve it

SARAH PARKER it's time to go to school - that's plenty that I could turn off when I chose to behind the computer screen. Thus your personal workloads. If any- Cord Features of time to write eight or so pages. sleep. But when midnight rolls allowing for time torun out and buy thing, you'll realize that stress is a Remember in high school when a Who needs sleep anyway when around, I'm suddenly alert and the a new ink cartridge ifnecessary. universal syndrome of students and last minute assignment meant that it there's the Second Cup? neural energy just flows. I'm actual- Exercise is supposedly another that the questioning of your exis- was finished by midnight the night This is not to say that everyone ly beginning to enjoy that heaviness- good stress reliever, not to mention tence on campus is normal. before it was due? It was a six page intentionally leaves assignments to behind-the-eye feeling. Walking its health benefits. A half hour of We can't revert back to the com- essay, at most, written with the aid that last minute, it justturns out that around campus in a perpetual daze sweating it out in a gym will release fort of the anxiety experienced in of one, maybe two books from your way. Between mid-terms, labs, has its advantages too. It serves as a all of the pent up tension from high school days, but in exchange high school library. Yet, despite the seminars, weekly readings, the good excuse for not speaking to peo- school. However, if you're like me, for the high stress now, we will gain numerous grammatical errors and other 3 essays due the same week, a ple you'd rather avoid. with all of the work and late nights, more: a degree. However, before we messed up bibliography, you still part-time job or volunteer position, There are many ways to relieve it's hard to find both the time and can sign those initials after our pulled off a decent mark? However, 90210, Friends and ER, there's not anxiety, but figuring out how to do energy to stick to a workoutroutine. names we have to learn how to deal ifthe mark wasn't as high as expect- time to plan well in advance. so can be stressful in itself. A good But the best way of all to deal with stress; so that we not only cope ed, that didn't matter. The teachers When writing research essays place to start is to create a schedule with stress is to go out with your with it butremain relatively healthy would always bump up your grades that actually require a full length of the times when you plan to work friends at least once a week. Be it to too. Maybe exercises to relieve anxi- a percent or two when time came bibliography, any work done in on various assignments. If properly a bar, a movie or just for another ety will allow you to finally get a for the university submission marks. advance is spent gathering support- followed while also managing to cup of coffee, this venture out of good night's sleep, but if all else fails, Ah, the good ol' days. able facts for your thesis. Add up all avoid writer's block, a schedule may doors will liven your mood and a cup of hot chocolate with a shot of Now, a last minute assignment is of these factors and it equals anxiety prevent the late night struggles allow you to exchange complaints of Bailey's usually does the trick. just that. Printing an essay off half - an integral part of higher educa- an hour before it's due, while pray- tion. ing that your ink jet doesn't run out Stress is an undeniable part of has become a common practice. anything that requires work. It can And midnight, what is that? There even be a motivator to reach a goal, are at least eight more hours until such as a university degree. But when does stress no longer become Cord Staff Meeting a good thing and instead becomes a riuiuii}f an health hazard? Fridays at 2:30 in the Turret. Well, severe under-eye baggage, essay off half sudden cold sore attacks, and a minimum of 3 cups of coffee to be an hour consumed in order to function are usually good indicators that stress is a prevalent factor in your life. before its Unfortunately, this is also about the time when it can overwhelm you. If due, while anxiety isn't dealt with in a positive manner, it means that skipping oravine that classes and trips to the pharmacy for Sinutab become more frequent; your inkjet not to mention asking the unan- swerable question "Why am I here doesn't run and what am I doing all of this for?" You know you're really stressed Notice: out has when insomnia strikes. I personally believe that my body doesn't know At the meeting of November 31st, 1995, we will be how to sleep - sleep is just some become a scam that I've heard about. It selecting the CUP national conference delegate for sounds interesting, but the concept common is vague. I can't count how many The Cord. To be eligible to vote, you must have times I've lain awake at night wish- practice ing that my brain had a flip switch staff status.

C©» FiATBJIRiS See the Editor-in-Chieffor details. If your parents could only see you now!

theCord November 15,1995 9 SPORTS Purple Satan strikes again

Playing the first quarter against An O'Leary 29 yarder early in the wind, Western couldn't move the the fourth gave the home side a ball against the airtight defense of short-lived 9-7 lead, until Western s the Hawks. However in the second Garrick Mcßride hit the eventual quarter, the Mustangs used the run- winner from 36 yards out. ning of Sean Reade to drive down- For Zmich, the loss is particular- field before Reade scored when he ly disappointing. "I can't help but plunged over from a yard out to give feel for our guys," he said. the Mustangs a 7-3 lead. It is the second consecutive loss Laurier's offense had trouble for Zmich's team in the Yates Cup. against the wind as well, but they Doubly disappointing is the fact that were able to get in position for two both losses have been to the field goals, one from 32 and another Western Mustangs by a combined from 37 yards just before the end of total of 3 points. the half. Both kicks were long One factor that was apparent for enough, but got caught up in the possibly the first time Saturday, was wind and were off target. On the the number of injuries which second tiy, Western's Anthony Lane severely curtailed the Hawks lineup. was able to run the ball out of the Unable to pick up Mustang blitzes endzone to save what turned out to for most of the game, one couldn't be a crucial point. help but wonder whether the addi- MCKAY Another stinging footnote came tion of guard Paul Dietrich and slot- on the same drive. Zach Treanor back Chris Smits could have helped. SCOTT was robbed of a big gain on the one Both were lost during training camp yard line when he was interfered to season ending injuries. In addi- PICTURE: with by Western linebacker Mark tion, once guard Phil White went Casselmen. Canadian University down, followed by tailback Peter Football only penalizes 15 yards for Hwang, the Hawks were virtually pass interference. Had the ball been without a running game. moved to the spot of the foul, like in As much as it stung to lose the pro game, it would have set up a Saturday, Zmich is buoyed by what Laurier CB Chris Redguard tackles Hawk killer Sean Reade of Western in Saturday's 10-9 heartbreaker. possible touchdown or a chip shot could lie ahead for next year. The field goal try. offense returns most, if not all of PETE ROBINSON to harmlessly kick the ball out of day long. As it turned out Laurier missed their starters, and should be a force Cord Sports bounds, and with it, a date with the "It was numbing, certainly the the ensuing field goal and failed to next year. On defense, the Hawks A cold, rainy November afternoon, Acadia Axemen this weekend in worst conditions I've ever been even get a point out of it, when Lane lose at least four starters making it a some curious playcalling, and a Halifax. associated with," said Laurier Head returned the ball out ofthe endzone. priority to recruit in that area. botched snap from center—in the "When good teams win at the Coach Rick Zmich. In the second half, Laurier had For now, Laurier's prime objec- end, that is what derailed a end, it's the application of skill in sit- The Hawks opened the scoring the wind to their advantage in the tive is to mourn the loss of a season Cinderella season for the Golden uations," said Western Head Coach on their first drive when a Zach third quarter and Jarret Luke used that all along seemed too good to be Hawks Football squad. Larry Haylor, in what could be char- Treanor catch over the middle it perfectly to notch two singles on true. The crushing blow came with acterized as somewhat of an over- moved the ball 57 yards down to the long punts, drawing the Hawks to As it turned out - it was. just under two minutes to go in the statement, yet at the same time Mustang two. However, the Hawks within one at 7-6. fourth quarter and the Hawks down painfully true from a Laurier per- were unable to convert for the 10-9. Lined up for an attempt at a spective. major and had to settle for a field 32 yard field goal, Ken Busby's snap The game was played in a dri- goal. Laurier's decision not to try sailed high off the hands of Zach ving rain storm with bone-chilling and run the ball into the endzone breaks winds, keeping the offense and kick- but nonetheless Hawkey Treanor and squirted out to near seemed odd, they mid-field until Tim O'Leary was able ing games of both teams in knots all were up 3-0. into win column

od. JIM DONNELLY Finally, a goal by Steve Hooper Football: A post-mortem Cord Sports with 5 minutes left salted the game Hockey coach Wayne Gowing can away for the Hawks, a well PETE ROBINSON years for Laurier as they turned the ronding the 14 fourth year players finally breathe a sigh of relief. After deserved victory for the team. Cord Sports ball over 8 times, but the defense that may return, and with it the 7 straight losses, the Laurier Golden Coach Cowing was obviously The following is an alphabetical saved the day as the Hawks won answer to many questions sur- Hawks finally have their first win of pleased with his team's effort over of team next the the weekend, but quick to point summary of fie Footbail Season 17-7. : ropiding the state the season. was to after hist weekend's loss to Wistent) J: How aix>ut ij&mdistent? The year. ? Even though it wasn't the most out that there is still a long way in the Yates Cup. f|tory oftheoffcnse all year long. >fte ftedguard, as in Chris. The all- memorable weekend for some go. "You can't sit and pat yourself §: all-world play- teams, on getting your first A: Is for YVatetfoos \rek Bi#« who Jarret Smith, $ gny who played worid athlete-turned Laurier sports last weekend the back after missed a 16 yard chip shot in week ||vcf! against the ftawlls and may erwas probably LauHer's MVP this was one that the members of the victory in 8 games. Nevertheless, 6 to keep the Hawks laabeaten sea- become the heir apparent to Sean year. %f;:l varsity hockey team have been getting that first win is extremely son alive. I# 3&ade its tke bhwl dominant |sS| Sergentson, Wade. This guy longing for. The Hawks lost a heart- important for the confidence of the '

.. camp and to Western on Saturday in team." B: Botched Fi barely on tfi& dres<| roster before overtime 4-3, but rebounded from Hie Hawks showed several very C Corey Grant %ie most exiciting! career <50-iea&r &coacWeg: wtm hescpfning an alhftar safety on a the loss to defeat Windsor the next promising signs of improvement that best the day this weekend, from the solid play of player to arrive at-kaurier since § Is -M stadium defense was the in 7-6., 7 goals kid from Burliftgton % the name ft wherfc $he won a thrilling TriguG, | | At Western, the Hawks played goalie Geoff Schnare to the Stefan Piaszekfarriyfd in * 25*2%congest over Western in week T: Three points. The combined total excellent* finding themselves up 3-1 against Windsor. Considering the D: Is for Di|tri

10 November 15, 1995 theCord -(Sports) SwimHawks bow to Mustangs

TOM FUKE Other event winners included Cord Sports Darrin Nikolaus with two, and Although the crowd wasn't as large, Jennifer Parsons with one. the weather was warmer and the Strong swims came from Tony action was just as close. Stackhouse, Stephanie Taylor, David Unfortunately, the end results were Hare, Tom Stelmach, and Laura the same, as Laurier's swim teams King. Fuke, Nikolaus, Parsons and fell to a highly ranked Western Jennifer Parwicki are inching closer squad. to the CIAU qualifying times. Miller, The women held on until the very Gilbert and Laura King have already end, falling 97-86, while the men qualified. held their own in a 104-72 defeat. Boles credits the close scores to a The standings will only show the strong rookie contingent, led by losses, but the Hawks emerged with Parwicki, Fuke, Christina Polano and a clear moral victory. Stelmach. "All ourrookies are show- "If this meet had been held last ing greatpromise," he said. year, the men would have been Western coach Glen Belfrey com- destroyed," said head coach Dean mended the organization of the Boles. "The women just ran out of meet, calling it one of the best he's steam at the end. It was a very good seen. Qose to forty fans made for an meet for both men and women." exciting evening. KINZINGER Sue Miller and Carolyn Gilbert The teams compete twice next continued their dominance of weekend - in Toronto on Friday and OWIAA swimming with three wins in Waterloo on Saturday. apiece, while Tom Fuke added three The next competition at home is PICTURE:PHIL wins ofhis own. on December 2nd against Brock. A Laurier swimmer goes airborne. Turek shines on road trip Hockey women come homefromKingston with a pair ofwins CELESTE BURKITT Wallace. Jennifer Osborne and Saturday's 5-2 result revealed ing on two others on Saturday, while played excellently as she faced 22 Cord Sports Stephanie Kay assisted on Hirek's the womens' character, as Queen's Kay was also a force to be reckoned shots on net and wasrewarded with After a tough weekend in Kingston goaland Wallace's goalrespectively. came out even harder looking for with. She produced a lone goal and MVP in the first game. Kay was last weekend, the Women's varsity Despite their determination to revenge. three assists. Jennifer Krog finished awarded MVP of the second game. hockey team came home with a pair bury their opponents, the Hawks However, the Hawks completely off the scoring with one goal. Rima The Hawks are undefeated, sit- of wins over Queen's. had a difficult time staying out ofthe dominated the Queen's squad, neu- Katorji, Cheryl Pounder, and ting at a 3-0 record. They are tied Friday's game resulted in a 3-1 win, penalty box on Friday. They served tralizing their key players in the Heather Warren also contributed to for first with U of T whom they face with Amy Hirek leading the scoring. 22 minutes in penalties, which was process. the win with assists. this Sunday at the Hawks' home Turek scored two goals and assisted reduced in Saturday's game to 8 Turek again lead the way, filling Defensively, everything came opener at 7:30 the Bubble. Free on the third goal, scored by Wendy minutes. the net with three goals and assist- together. Charmaine "Roily" Boteju prizes to the first 1,500fans. Face in the Crowd \ Vuletide I I. Treasures | jj|j| November 21 &22 jS 4 |B 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 ftOStNSON c& V in the Concourse Jy A PETE ®V Visions of sugarplums! €& PJOURE: 6$ Crafts & Gifts €& Celeste Byridtt is this weekk Face in to meet: M? Stowe, Lerd Nelson the Crowd. Formerly a member of andWendel Clark 4 4 the Womenls Hockey team, she Is tf I could hop in a time machine I «v mMR also a member of the Soccer Team would go back to; 1867-Canadian and scored the whining goal this Coofederaijon weekend hi the National Final If 1 had a chance my last meal would | | agatastDalhousie, besNot Pasta! Ik Sponsored by WLU Association \ ftilname: Madeline Celeste Burkitt Biggest Influence in my Mfe: My Staff Age: 22 fhther John ®V Supporting the Student Bursary Fund Hometown: Oshawa Highlight of my athletic career to Program: Economics date: Scoringfee winning goalto win three people In Hstoiy $ would S

theCord November 15, 1995 11 (Sports)— Men's hoops on a roll

after coming off a winless campaign - in addition to the three mad Coach Jefferies said that the Laurier has seven pre-season

CONOR MCCREERY the year before. This year the bombers already mentioned - plan addition of six "redshirts" (think of games left, including a Christmas Cord Sports Golden Hawks are looking to take to start Stuart Tate, a transfer from them as a reserve list) have made tournament at Western, and a three "Incoming!" flight and finish .500, determined to Laurentian who can (you guessed it) practices much more competitive, game jaunt in the US. During this The foes of WLU's Men's be in the playoffpicture. bomb from the outside, as well as and therefore more useful. "The top time. Coach Jefferies plans to fine Basketball Hawks will be screaming How do die Hawks plan to reach penetrate. In the middle will be Jay twelve have to play that much bet- tune the lineup and prepare Laurier

- that a lot this year, as the runnin' this plateau? It's simple - Laurier Spencer, the 6'B fourth year man ter," Jefferies said "because they for their toughest challenge to win gunnin' Golden Hawks continue will have to use the best pure shoot- who has, according to Jefferies, pro- know that there Eire a bunch of guys back the league's respect. their patented long range attack. ing offense in the league to do it. gressed in "leaps and bounds." just dying for their job." This past weekend the Hawks had a Lead by point guard Tony Weis, and Coming off the bench, Laurier will chance to show off this attack at the two guards Peter Kratz, and Jim have Eric Angevine, a 6'5, 220 Naismith Cup at UW. The Hawks Toole, the Hawks will bomb - and pound freshman who adds muscle faced the nationally ranked I'm talking mega-tonnage here - and rebounding - the Hawks biggest Volleyball women split Winnipeg Wesmen in the first game from all over the court. weakness. Another freshman is of the tournament, and lost a heart- However, Coach Gary Jefferies Corwin Troje, who Jefferies deemed breaker by a 86-82 count (the stressed that it will be defense that "the best jumper on the team - he LIBBI HOOD Hilary Yates with 12 kills and 12 Wesmen went on to take the will define the Hawks. The Hawks can leap". Also playing big roles will Cord Sports digs. bronze). The Hawks then proceeded plan to play an energetic quarter be Dan Pace and David Moore. Both it's a brand new volleyball season, The heartbreaking loss to to defeat St. Mary's 66-64, and then court D that will create turnovers, add more 0 to the Hawks. and the Hawks are playing like a Western came after the Hawks had blitzed Laval 86-69 to win the con- and flow naturally into the Hawks Newcomer Mike Grozelle will start brand new team. The women went trounced Guelph at home last solation final at the tournament. transition game. the season as the back up point 1-1 last week in their matches with Wednesday, 3 games to none, with Last year Laurier won two "I don't want to hear nice try guard filling in for the injured Ouelph and Western, to give them a scores of 15-10,15-13and 15-4. league games, and nine over all, anymore," said Jeffries. The Hawks Stephan Barrie. record of Iwin, 2 losses after losing Laurier's brightest star against to McMaster in &eir first match. Guelph was Tara Konowalchuk, wish In Friday's match in London 11 kills and 9 blocks, including 5 against Western, the Hawks tamed one-man blocks. in a solid effort, before bowing in Throughout the match four games. Konowalchuk seemed to know Neither team had an advantage, exactly where the Gryphons weren't, but Laurier coach Cookie teach enabling her to tip and fait the ball attributed the loss to defense. "They beautifully into the holes, just dug up more baßs Iban us/' she Rookie Pam Hutchinson, in her said If wekeep improving as much first start of (he season, was also an as we have over die past few games offensive factor with 9Mis, then we'll be in the playoflk * she The season continues this week added. with a match at Waterloo Ang Lundy led dieHawks' attack Wednesday night and a home game with 15kills and 12 digs, followed by against Windsor on Friday night. Golden Hajks NHL facts, state & figures

PP»» •:^'3:: "I^BfffrS^^^^'-^gW^aM KE% - 'iwjfr*' SCOTT CULLEN shot, and should notch his usual 30 Cord Sports goals (perhaps even 40 this year). The NHL season has been moving The Leafs will need it to help pick up along at quite a pace, with few the slack for Doug Gilmour. obstructions to slow down the play Fact: Doug Gilmour was a team (what would Brad Marsh do?). With worst -10, and no longer looks like that in mind, some interesting fast the dominant player that he was facts on the NHL season thus far: before last season. Gilmour added Fact: The Montreal Canadiens weight this year to better handle the have lost only two games since physical play, but it looks like the Mario Tremblay took over from step he lost last year is gone for Jacques Demers. Tremblay stepped good. The Leafs now realize that into the most pressure-filled position Killer is #2 behind Sundin on the in the NHL, and has had unbeliev- depth-chart at center. ably positive results. Brian Savage Fact: The Florida Panthers lead has emerged as a fine goal scorer, the NHL points race. Who woulda playing with Pierre Turgeon and thunk it? The Florida Panthers are Mark Recchi on the top unit, and perched atop the NHL standings Patrick Roy has been playing like - after 16 games. The Florida

well - Patrick Roy. Panthers! This team boasts Scott g m Finest Indian Cuisine | 1 The Habs bolstered themselves Mellanby as its leading scorer. that is the am,a 103 King Street North, by adding ex-Leaf Pat Jablonski last We're looking at a team in 1 4ltefo J week in order to give Roy some ade- same division as the Legion of ~ 888-6223 still use a big, nasty defenseman Pens, Mess and I I 1 because the likes of Yves Racine, defending Cup champions from New All you can eat! Panthers get 3 lunch specials (Tuesday to Sunday) ii:3o-2:30 Reg. Luncheon Buffet H Patrice Brisebois, Peter Popovic and Jersey. Where do the 2 soups, Rice, Naan, 3 Meat Disbes, 5 Vegt Marko Kiprusoff do not command off pulling ahead of such ice leg- Combo#l Cbanna Bbatura (2 Bbaturas)....s3-99 "Disbes, Raita, Mixed Pickles, Salad, Mint much respect with their physical ends? They were supposed to feel Mulligatwany or Tomato-Coconut Soup Sauce and Dessert.... $ 6.99 play. On the whole, though, things the effects of the obstruction rules Combo#2 Chicken or Goat Curry or Matar Peneer 1 Dinner Buffet up for the Habs. like a haymaker, but Rtce or Naan....54.50 H are looking Bob Probert 7 days a week...5:30-10:30) All you can eat! I Fact Mike Gartner has 12 goals have won hockey games playing or Tomato-Coco or Daal Soup Tandoori Ckn., Papadum, 2 Soups, 3 Meat Disbes 5 j Combo#3 Mulligatwany to lead the Maple tough defense in front of the ever- Butter Chicken or Mattar Paneer Vegi Disbes, Raita, Rice, Naan, Salad, Mix-Pickles, Toronto Leafs. |j have Rice or Naan....54.99 Mint-Sauce, Tea, Indian Dessert and coffee... .$9 99 |j After a miserable, injury filled sea- solid John Vanbiesbrouck and son last year, many people were youngsters such as Radek Dvorak writing off Gartner, figuring it was and Rob Niedermayer playing piv- 1 Scrumptious Dinner Menu (No MSG's) 1 time to wind down one of Ihe most otal roles on the offense. The latest s:3opm-10:30pm Thursday to Sunday. We Caterfor All Your Party Needs ■ Call For Reservations Today |j consistent goal scoring careers in hot streak for the Panthers has coin- ONREQUEST i NHL history. Gartner has responded cided with the return of rookie jgjnj with a torrid start and does not defenseman Ed Jovanovksi from On Ist Excluding ii .With a injury, and that is probably no coin- this Coupon Anniversary liquor !|j appear to have lost step. Gartner one coupon per person please. 1 ot yjjjj w; t h any other offer. Offer valid until Nov. 30. 1995 Ig still has blazing speed and a good cidence. 1 nicmgßdgd=«^"p='^»^^'T''^'i^m*** :^t^siGlEilCiglgiEJ?HBEiSl'sHggi^iEgsl^gglOTisEgiSsß9sEçMßsSß^sEl^^EH3§El§SH3§6Bl^BßsETSsl§EEl§BlSSß3sl

12 November 15, 1995 theCord —(Sports) A look at men's volleyball Despite a slow start the men appear to have some talent

IAN CLARK Sutherland, a third year veteran OUAA volleyball, hails from the left side position is Eric Thomas, who is assisted by Tim Cord Sports from Ottawa, is a 5'10" right side Mississauga. Barlow, another Paananen, a 6 footer from Toronto. Weber. As is the case every year, the swift player. The third returnee is Kevin Mississauga native, is a transfer stu- He is accompanied by fellow The schedule sees Thomas's arrival of icy temperatures outside Shonk, last year's OUAA Westrookie dentfrom Western who must sit out Torontonian Sumit Dan who will be team playing over 50 more match- are paralleled by the blooming of of the year. Shonk, a Kitchener the first semester of action due to called upon as a setter and a back es, including competition against 5 varsity sports within the warm con- native in his second year, stands CIAU regulations. row specialist. Brian Stover is a 6'o" of the top 10 teams in Canada. In fines of the Athletic Complex. 6'l" and figures to be the key to the A talented crop ofrookies figure left side hitter. The athletics depart- addition, some prominent American

The Golden Hawks Men's Golden Hawks' offense from his to be instrumental in the Hawks' ment was talking about raising the schools - the University of California Volleyball team is one group which right side attacking position. success this year. Jason McArthur roof in the Athletic Complex for this at San Diego and Lewis University

falls into this category. The Hawks The Hawks will be boosted in who deservedly earns starting rights Waterloo native who gives new from Philadelphia - will take part in see only three players returning size and experience by the return at the setter position, stands 5'10" meaning to the term jumping out of WLU's Can-Am Challenge on the from last years' squad. Dennis from injury of lan Clark, a 6'4" and comes to WLU from North Bay. the gym - by way of a fortysome- 19thand 20th of January. Hoffman, a skilled second year 6'3" power hitter and Ted Barlow, a 6'4" Ryan Brown is a 6'5" middle blocker thing inch vertical leap. Brad There is no question that the middle blocker who hails from power hitter, dark, in his third year from Brampton who gives the Semotiuk is a strong left side player Hawks are building a foundation for Unionville, is one of this trio. Mike of school but only his second year of Hawks a lot of size up front, and will from London who stands 6'2". More the future with this team, despite be an imposing force at the net for size comes in the form of Andrew the 0-3 start. the OUAA to reckon with. All the Loukes, a 6'4" leaper from Cornwall The inspired play they have way from Winnipeg, Jon Bolton is a who plays right side, and Steve shown already this season, and the talented 6'o" left side hitter who was McPhee, a 6*4" middle blocker from parity among the competition in the the number one ranked recruit for Unionville. OUAA West has them hoping for his position in his province. Also at The Hawks head coach is Brett more than just a building year. j Wilfrid Laurier University Residence Accomodation Available KINZINGER PHILL PICTURE: Dennis Hofmann (left) and Kevin Shonk go for the block against Guelph Wednesday. The men are off to a slow start dropping match- es to Guelph and Western last week. I Golden Hawk Gladiator Competition Monday November 27,1995. $5 per person, 5 people per team. To register, orfor more information, call Erin at 884-2657.

Fronife'&wft % s t a s a a «

| | Meet the Author Cord Hockey Pool Th e Concubine's Children: Rank Name Points Total ■Rll'**' Last Week a Ben Cornwell 200 1 112 Portrait of Family Divided 2 PhilAdamson 191 5 &j: *%s&s■ by 3 MattGillis 189 —

W1 — Hrvoje Peric 183 5 Dave Miller 182 — 1 Denise Chong H46 Rob Crowley 179 5 7 Brad Savage 178 11 Monday, November 20,1995 at Noon 7 Chris Smith 178 3 a 9 Chris Campbell 177 11 Paul Martin Centre, Wilfrid Laurier University BenDurliat 176 5 11 Rob Manger 175 5 Meet author Denise Chong, who tells the dramatic story of 01012 Donna Hirek 174 — her family caught in the tumult of history across continents 13 — /f^SZTS^^ BBS ShaunKennedy 172 and cultural divides. Winner of the Edna Staebler Award §»£■ 14 Mike — ISf gj\ Bruni 171 for creative non-fiction. Vm^M) 15 TVevor Allibon 170 2 Free Admission and Everyone Welcome

theCord November 15,1995 13 ENTERTAINMENT The initiation of treble charger

SEAN MOORE began to pick up, and the prize gone on four tours out west, with Cord Entertainment money they won from that con- good turnouts for their shows. Becoming a success in the fierce- test helped them to release their Morris acknowledged the fact ly competitive Canadian music recent CD-ROM album, that they're still a relatively small scene is difficult, especially with- "self=title". Since last year band, and he pointed out that the out the financial support of any they've been riding a wave of only shows that they've done in big name music labels. With a success. the big U.S. market have been"in lot of hard work, musical talent, Morris explained that the Buffalo... but that's because and a bit of luck, indie's present group's chemistry exists because they're practically Canada." darlings treble charger have "We (the band members) have As far as their stand on indie achieved some moderate fame overlapping musical tastes, but music, Morris said, "We're not and acclaim. The band's infec- we all don't listen to the same against signing with major tious brand of pop-rock and things." Groups like Superchunk labels." He elaborated, however, energetic live shows have gained and Everclear are some present by saying that he just couldn't them a horde of new fans. Prior band favorites. Song composi- envision his band doing what to their show last week at the tion is a group process, but gui- they've done on a major label. Tlirret opening for Pure, the Cord tarists Bill and Greig do Releasing a CD-ROM would have had an opportunity to speak with most of the writing of lyrics and been difficult. As for that, Morris the group's drummer, Morris, such. Bill, apparently, is a "read- said "It was Greig's idea mostly." about the band's recent accom- er" and that's where he gets With novel ideas like the CD- plishments. some ofthe ideas for songs. ROM, it seems that treble charg- The group has a very inter- When asked about their ris- er faces a much brighter future. esting bio. All members except ing nation-wide popularity, With respect to future work, Morris are originally from Sault Morris knew exactly where Morris said "We've got a lot of Ste Marie. They got together much of the credit goes. ideas", mentioning such things as almost three years ago in the MuchMusic's playing of the a double album with one album VVMIOWIN Toronto area, and released a sin- "Red" and "Tenth Grade Love" being "weird stuff not typical of gle on a Sonic Unyon Records videos gained them a great deal treble charger." CVCLI compilation. Probably one of of recognition. "When you live For right now though, the their biggest breaks came when out in a place like Red Deer, group will be taking a short I-IV..IUKC. they placed second in the 1994 Alberta, you don't have much in Christmas break. Expect some- Excited Laurier treble charger fans jammed till dawn to the tunes in the CFNY New Music Search. Sales the way of radio stations, just thing new in the next year. Turret last Wednesday. of their debut album, "ncl7" Muchmusic." The group have Pure's attitude infectious

BRANDON WATSON performance that Pure put on, but.... Cord Entertainment I have never been to the Turret before Following the release of their new EP, 'Extra (shame on me), but it appeared that it was Purestrial', Pure has attacked southwestern pretty much Generation-6-Packed. Enough to Ontario with a series of concert dates. They get a little mosh-pit of the devoted blasting played at Waterloo's HMV prior to their show each other about the place, anyway. at the Turret, engaging in a little "in-store" Periodically, the bouncer had to toss a couple WATSON foreplay before starting their mini-tour. The of speed freaks catching a body wave, but KELI band has just recently come off an Australian other than that the crowd was just interested tour, which according to lead singer Jordy in dancing their pants off. No, not literally, Birch was "an influential experience". They silly. PICTURE: have also found some success in the United The band played with smiles and great States, especially with the single "Anna is a professionalism, responding to the fans' Turret patrons moshed in a frenzy while Pure played on, Speed Freak". requests and having some fun. Todd also let It is interesting to see how the group has the fans know that "new age shit is back", evolved over the course of their career. From which I would assume is part ofPure's newest on a gondola." Personally, the new songs just out of hand as the Rainbow Butt Monkeys the dancey EP "Greedy" to the latest release, identity. They played songs from all of their made me feel like groovin'. stage "spaz-outs", but it was a close second. there is a definite progression in Pure's chem- albums, which proves the depth and maturity One thing that is definitely not reminiscent The songs that got the crowd turning the istry. "The dynamics of the group are good, of the band. It also proves that they have defi- of relaxing gondola rides is Pure's stage per- floor into a trampoline were "Blast", "Anna is even more so since the keyboardist left... a Speed Freak", and "Spiritual Pollution". [Pure] is almost like a family," says guitarist Another highlight would have to be the Todd Simko. Apparently, there are some The band played with smiles and Puresque version of The Who's "Baba doubts about how Pure's image will come O'Riley". Pure added a second guitar and across in their music, but Todd ensures that oraaf nrrvfaccinnalicmI rPCimnHSnoI BUII Ig removed the keyboards to give it a customed "there is nothing to worry about. We have a |Jlwl result. Of course, the band wasn't allowed to new album ('Pissed as a Cricket and Loving head without an encore, which left the fans It') ready to go, and I'm sure there will be ix# uiw rans cmo itnciwii with the golden oldie, "Greedy". It was a won- many more." derful show, but when pleasant "good-byes" Last Wednesday the eighth, the Turret were said and shy waves of appreciation were £P*#isomeI ■%« fun1 I hosted the "Purextravaganza". Unfortunately, 111 done, they were gone. the sound was questionable. First of all, the Pure seems to be on the verge of the spot- opening bands (Curb and Ttreble Charger) nitely come a long way from being a couple of formance. It is always a bonus when the band light, ready to join bands like The Tea Party were extremely loud. It was so loud that two guys covering Iron Maiden tunes. That's a can get into their own music, which is defi- and The Tragically Hip as creators of the of the front amps wereremoved for the head- good thing. nitely not a problem for them. There wasn't Canadian rock profile. No matter how suc- liner's act. But even then, ear plugs were a The new songs appear to have a different an immobile John Entwistie bone in their bod- cessful the next album is, though, and no mat- great idea. Secondly, there was too much bass edge. One of the members stated that the new ies. Even drummer Leigh Grant looked as ifhe ter what their new image is, "Pure will always and treble. Not to take away from the great album "made you feel like you were in Venice was going to erupt from his stool. It wasn't as be having fun."

14 November 15,1995 theCord (Entertainment) Chrono rules in video RPG

Title: Chrono Trigger destined to end in 1999 A.D. when ing. The people from Squaresoft and if you like RPGs then you will in this game are top notch, and they System: SNES the evil Lavos destroys everything have really out done themselves on love this one. show some of the programmers' Format: Cartridge (1 player, RPG) on Earth and takes over. Enter this one. This game is so huge that Conor I generally don't like RPG's I warped sense of humour. Chrono Company: SquareSoft young Crono, from the year 1000 you could play it for days and still guess I don't have the patience, but Trigger is also fun to play with a A.D., who discovers how to travel only be a quarter done. Early in the this one...WOW. Chrono Trigger is friend. There are so many things CONOR MCCREERY AND through time with the help of his game you come upon the first path, really a lot offun, and the key to this you could do that you need a friend MIKE VENCEL friend, Lucca. After a wild romp in although you don't realize it at the fun is the fact that the storyline is to help figure them out. Chrono Cord Entertainment the past, Lucca discovers someone is time. The graphics in Chrono excellent The controls for this game Trigger is definitely a winner. Rent In the tradition of epic role-play- messing with the time when the Trigger are nothing short of awe- are pretty good, although I had the it. ing games such as Final Fantasy in, world will come to an end. Crono some and the music is top-notch. odd problem trying to maneuver SquareSoft has brought out the and his friends rise up to meet this The controls are your standard RPG through openings, on the big map MIKE: A+ much anticipated Chrono Trigger. challenge head on. Will he succeed? fare, nothing fancy and I didn't have screen. One of the neat little things CONOR: A (It's still an RPG) This game promises to be their Only time will telL... any problems controlling my group. about the game is that you can biggest and best RPG with 32 MIKE: After reading about this game After playing Chrono Trigger I can change the names of all the charac- Chrono Trigger is available at megabits of power, and over 12 dif- in a magazine I knew I had to try it. I honestly say I am going to go out ters, a little thing but definitely cool Mkroplay on 133 Weber St. N (888- ferent endings. The keyword in am one of the biggest fans of RPGs and buy it. It really is a great game 0 made Marie, Diana). The graphics 7900). Chrono Trigger is chrono, Latin for and I decided to give Chrono Trigger time (or at least something like that). a whirl. I am not disappointed. The In Chrono Trigger you must take on game is really easy to get into and World Record Trivia the persona of Crono, a lad who after starting it up to try it before must save to world by travelling lunch, I quickly found it to be 3 BRAD ROSS chain? longestpapercKp chain? through time. It seems the world is o'clock and my stomach was growl- Cord Entertainment 3. Who was the highest paid 8. What is the largest nightclub in On February 2,1996 starting at ten spokesperson for television commer- the world? am students at Laurier wSI be sit- cials? ting down and connecting paper 4.WhatIs the record forthe number Answers: clips in order to set a record in oftimes one person has lifted a beer 1. West Edmonton Mall 2.18, 087 dust- Culness Book Of keg over one's head? feet long 3. Michael Jackson earned "Powder" a $12 need people to be partofthis once in 5. What is the record forthe number miffion for four Pepsi commer- a lifetime event Applications are due ofmonogamous marriages to. a life- cial 4. 670 times in 8 hours 5. 27 Monday at nam. time? marriages 6. France (22,3 pints per ing ofhumanity Questions: 6. Which country has the highest person per year) 7. Sixty students 1. What is the largest shopping mall average of alcohol consumption per from Naayang Technical University in the world? year? in Singapore 8. Giliey's Club in LORI DYSIEVICK school drama class. Although I loved 2. How long is the longest paper clip 7. Who holds the record for the Houston (6000 people). Cord Entertainment the story, the writing itself was not The story for Disney's Powder very good. This movie could have YoungWilf by Lori Dysievick sounded very intriguing. I have been great,but it wasn't. always been a Disney fan. I was in Powder's director and writer, the mood to search my soul, to Victor Salva, was severely tongue question humanity, to sob uncontrol- lashed by the press before the open- lably in the movie theatre and ing of the movie. It has received ter- embarrass my date. I was not disap- rible reviews and thus far has done pointed. very poorly at the box office. Also, Powder, starring Disney regular Disney has received criticism Sean Patrick Flanery, is about a boy because Salva did time last year for named Jeremy Reed who has a sexually molesting a 12 year old genetic defect called albinoism. male actor. Not the kind of personal Jeremy has no pigment whatsoever, background one usually finds in a white skin and pink eyes. He also director of a Disney movie. It was has no hair although this is from probably because ofthis controversy Jeremy's electrical powers, not albi- that Disney released the movie noism. While still pregnant, under its Hollywood Pictures ban- Jeremy's mother was struck by ner. lightning and died, Jeremy was The day after I saw the movie I raised by his grandparents. came across an article about Victor Jeremy is left completely alone Salva that outlined the details of his when his grandfather dies and he is criminal record and spoke ofhomo- sent to a state institution for boys in sexual overtones in Powder. There is his rural Texas community. Up until one scene that really has nothing to L'uOStV CppF this point in his life Jeremy has had do with the plot that could be con- ■ ■*■■■■ developed no contact with the world other then sidered overtly sexual. The rest of what he has read and his grandpar- the movie didn't have any homosex- ■ ;? (No Coupon Necessary) ents have told him. ual overtones that I noticed. Instead, Jllll As the movie progresses, the Powder delivered a deep and mov- characters discover that Jeremy has ing message about humanity. I hope POCKET SUTOIVAL KIT supernatural powers based on elec- that for the sake of the story some- tricity. Jeremy is also telepathic, tele- one does this movie over again in kinetic, has an unprecedented 1.Q., about twenty years because it could KODAK FUNSAVER 35 WSKk LJE""* I and a superior understanding of the be incredible. It is unfortunate for • CAMERA _ candle I world. This is where Disney's deep the actors that this time around they ,- moral message comes in were not given the opportunity to 15 exposure outdoor 7 matches (Philosophy bulls will love this one). make this movie live up to its poten- As you can probably guess the tial. story is about alienation and I was lucky enough to see the Jeremy's struggle to understand movie before I heard about the con- modern society and find his place troversy surrounding it and I within it. Mary Steenburgen plays it. you enjoyed If are looking for Bring this coupon and 5 photofimshing envelopes (must be dated sensitive Jessica Caldwell, the head overtones of homosexuality you may m Nov. 15/95 - March 31/96) as proof of purchase to this store. of the boys' institution misinterpret who does her the meanings behind POR DETAILS Pick up your gift within 2 weeks while quantities last. best to regain Jeremy's grandpar- some of the scenes. An example is Offer Expires: Mar. 31/96 Check Box: Camera Pocket Survival Kit Code: 856 ents farm that has been claimed by when Jeremy tells Jeff Goldblum's □ □ I the bank. ' Jeff Goklblum is delightful character that his grandparents Buy 1 5x7 Enlargement ! 4" Colour as a high school science teacher were afraid to touch him and begins 2nd who is the first one to realize to cry when Goldblum caresses his ! GETI FREE PRINTS Jeremy's FREE* ® I physical and mental cheek. I took this to be about the | Bring us your favourite colour print j Bring us your C-41 colour nega- uniqueness. importance of human affection, not Bring us your C-41 colour rolls (110, i film negative for asx7or 8 x 10 i tives (110, 126, Disc & 135 mm Flanery plays his part wefl for he homosexuality. 126, Disc & 135 mm FULL FFIAME J enlargement and get 1 FREE! ! FULL FRAME excluding Seattle excluding Seattle Film and (110, 126, Disc & 135 mm FULL Film and Panoramic 35) and get wasrequired act J J to with limited dia- In short, for those poor souls Panoramic 35) for processing and i FFIAME excluding Seattle Film and • our beautiful 4" colour reprints for logue, relying a great deal on facial who are still staggering though mid- receive a 2nd SET FREE! ! Panoramic 35) ! only 590. Not be expression. Although some of the term hell (my sincerest sympathies), Limit one coupon per order. Not to be J Limit one coupon per order. Not to be J Limit one coupon per order. to used in conjunction with any other , used in conjunction with any other ■ used in conjunction with any other actors who played the boys at the don't go see Powder, it will make special. Coupon must accompany order « special. Coupon must accompany • special. Coupon must accompany order orcler r institution for validity. Ottb ! f°r validity. ■ f° validity. needed to back high ' go to you think. To anyone else planning Offer Expires: Mar. 31/96 » Offer Expires: Mar. 31/96 Offer Expires: Mar. 31/96

theCord November 15,1995 15 (Entertainment)- The underside of pop culture

thing else. To stand up for those of I'm sure they will tell you the same disc) a spin; you may not like it - fair pie somehow manage to forget us who either refuse to be slapped thing as I - GO RENT IT. Tim enough - but you may just realize about him. You could put Harrison's down by pop culture, or are open- Robbins, Morgan Freeman, and the that Veruca Salt can really play. name on a marquee by itself, with minded enough to appreciate when movie itself all deserved Oscars. nothing else, and people would still something is good, I have come up Overrated: Tommy Lee see the movie. So how can I call him with this short list of Overrated: Anything Post-Pixies.. Jones/Antonio Banderas. I've underrated? When people talk of Overrated/Underrated items: (That means you Frank Black, and lumped these two lads in together the A-list, they put Harrison on it. you Kim Deal). Here we have every like this because they both have the That's just plain wrong: the guy is Overrated: Forrest Gump. Sure, this fanboy's wet dream, artistic music same disease: terminal overexpo- triple-A. was a good movie; I saw it, and so with angst. Stop yer whining, both of sure. These two men are good did everyone else on the planet. It ya. To be fair, these two are better actors, but neither is great. Thith be Underrated: The Simpsons. No was entertaining, Hanks was good, than a lot of the music out there, but told, I like both of these guys, but Overrated with this one; The the story was kinda neat, but it was if I hear one more reference to these Cobb was a dismal failure, showing Simpsons are more than just funny, not, I repeat NOT, the cinematic people as "pioneers of music", I'll that for all the hype Tommy is still they are actually a fairly concise equivalent of the second coming. kill. only a co-star. Banderas... we 11... too representation of what is happening riciuitc OK. Deed with it. many movies, big guy, especially in America today. And like any other Underrated: Veruca Salt. Veruca Salt when one of them is the lamentable sitcom, they deal with the heavier riLc Underrated: The Shawshank got a bad rap because their first sin- Never talk to Strangers (ouch). issues (death, sickness, unemploy- Redemption. Now this movie was gle ('Seether") was deemed too simi- ment, God) with a lot more wit and CONOR MCCREERY brilliant. It was an incredible adap- lar to the Breeders. The difference Underrated: Harrison Ford. Ifthere is realism than most "conventional" Cord Entertainment tation ofone of Stephen King's least- between Veruca Salt and the one star in Hollywood that will shine shows. The Simpsons should be Nothing is more irritating in life than known works, and it was bang on. Breeders is that Veruca Salt is a forever bright, let it be Harrison's. I appreciated for its style, but people having to listen about some over- For those of you who haven't seen band, not just three people strung trust this guy; he just doesn't make forget that there is a lot of substance hyped, under-performing object, be this film, don't take my word for it, around the creative force of Ms. Kim bad movies. Even though Harrison to our favourite family from it a movie, an actor, a band, or any- ask anyone else who saw this puppy. Deal. Give 'American Thighs' (their is the biggest star in Hollywood, peo- Springfield as well. a drole ear candy ear candy 'Holidays' the ofthe album, she takes a rest on Relish seedy nightclub singer persona ami loan Osborne belts out song after bad song. In the Potyipwn middle of these bad songs comes character "What God one of us, just 'One of Us', and then it's back to the study if was a dob like one of u5.,.." After hear- bad songs. If you want to broaden DEANNA NASCIMBEN AND extremely hyper and unpredictable role perfectly, and her relationship ing 'One of Us' played on the radio your horizons and find out what CONOR MCCREERY is sidelined by his secret marriage to with her brother is hilarious, yet over a thousand times, I finally type of singer Joan Osborne is, thai Cord Entertainment another man, which is hidden from admirable. If my brother ever took a broke down and bought the CD; by all means go out and buy this CD. Home For the Holidays is a everyone but his sister. The vibes of picture of me in the shower, there After listening to fee whole CD, I'm My advice to you though is to saw charmingly funny movie starring negativity that surround the house- would be serious problems! Their begfnntagio wish I haiM, I figured your money, and wait for her to Holly Hunter as Claudia, Robert hold during the holiday season are loopy aunt is also a welcome addi- the cither songs on the (1) would be come cm the radio. Downey Jr. as her brother Tommy quickly forgotten, as their affection tion to the film, she gets drunk, sings like *One oftls\ but they're not For Mike Vencel and Anne Bancroft as her mom. for one another prevails. old songs off key and tells some This film was co-produced and He Said: 1 beg to differ, Deanna. crazy stories. directed by Jodie Foster of Nell fame. At the end of the movie, the two sis- He Said: The true strength of the A slice of small town Texas The plot is a bit complicated: Claudia ters pretty well agree to never see film IS Holly Hunter, the puckish lass is a single mom who has just lost her each other again, her father seems with the winsome smile; she charms TANYA VENTURA high school they are faced with the job (just before making out with her to believe that ibus life has all but the audience into rooting for her. Cord Entertainment realization that there is no future for 60 year old boss) and finds out on passed him by, and we don't know if Robert Downey Jr. was also strong. Billed as one of the best movies them. Bridges goes off to the Korean her way to the airport tHat her six- Claudia's romance - with a guy she Home for the Holidays is not a bad ever to come out of the American War, Shepherd goes off to university teen-year old daughter is planning to originally thought was gay - has any movie it just isn't a great one. It will cinema, The Last Picture Show in Dallas, and only Bottoms remains lose her virginity in her mom's future. Not that |his takes away from make you laugh, it'll make you snif- seemed a promising pick on the to witness what's left of the town absence. Armed with this knowl- the movie: feet it kind of adds to it fle, but it'll also make you go 'huh?' video shelves. It came out in 1970 where he was raised. When the last edge;, Claudia begins her hellish in a fohy. There are some a few times as well. with a splash and launched the picture show is played in the movie descent into the holiday season. In a extremely funny moments, but this She Said: Home For the Holidays is careers of Jeff Bridges, Cybil theater, and the pool hall has turned Thanksgiving dinner filled with fly- is balanced by some really confusing a great film. It may not be an acade- Shepherd, and Timothy Bottoms to ruin the realization of what ing turkeys, fistfights and foreplay, sub-plots. It seems that Foster tried my award winner, but it is very virtually over night. It won a hand- remains becomes vividly clear. Claudia learns a little bit about her- to fit as many family cliches in as entertaining. I give this movie 8 red ful of Oscars, and remains today a Notable mention goes to Ben self, her family, and life in this bitter- possible, allowing most of them to wigs out of ten. testament of the death of the Johnson, whose portrayal of "Sam", sweet comedy. wither and die (Claire Danes as He Said: For those of you who "American Dream". the only symbol of prosperity and the him She Said: Home For the Holidays Hunter's daughter decides that she thought turkeys would have been a Set in the late 1950's , The Last generation in town earned is filled with witty, unconventional doesn't want to have sex, because better unit of praise for this movie, Picture Show tells the tale of three a well deserved Oscar. Filmed com- twists that keep the audience pleas- the guy is putting his hand up her I'm with you, but Deanna pulled high school kids growing up in a pletely in black and white, director antly amused throughout. Robert dress. What were they planning to rank on me. HFTH is an okay movie, small Texas town, who symbolize Peter Bogdonovich in his startling Downey Jr. is simply brilliant as do, have sex in separate rooms?) and I give it 7 &1/4 red wigs out of the anxiety and frustration of being depiction asks and answers the Hunter's sister. The fact that he is She Said: Holly Hunter fits the 10. young and full of energy in a dying question, what happens to the town. They spend their weekends American youth when they realize at the local movie theater, trying to the proverbial "American Dream" find some solace in the back of their isjustahoax? beat up trucks. The love story This was a completely depress- between Cybill Shepherd's character ing movie. It deserves recommenda- and JeffBridges' shows the futility of tion strictly on the line of its artistic a happy union in a decrepit town. and thought provoking level. All married characters are either having affairs or they're unhappy. The Last Picture Show is avail- As the story unfolds and all ablefor rental at WW's Centre Spot. three characters graduate from

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16 November 15,1995 theCord (Entertainment) Smart guys always get some Dear Dynamic Duo, often carries a great deal of bacteria moves on ends up leaving with this I have this problem with my and germs. Why would you want to little pip-squeak. She tells me his IQ boyfriend. He's not the cleanest per- be "personable" with this fellow? turns her on! What gives?

son I know - no, that's an under- Who knows what the two of you are Signed, statement. Although I love him, he "making" when you are together. Built disgusts me. He never showers Ask yourself how badly you want to Dear Built properly, and his shower is littered be with him. In his case, maybe Well, if this was Western we could Winter's most efficient frcaen saliva with dirt and grime from ages ago. washing his undergarments in a probably attribute the attraction to Hard Cord collector. But the grossest of his personal combination of bleach and CLR may the intellectual as a good source of habits is his underwear. Nothing prove to work well. Burning is income in his future. "EP" (earning 5. Nick Offline (opening soon). turns me off" faster than when the another good way of disinfecting potential) is always a concern for How come nobody's beating down heat is on, and we are tearing off clothing. Show him a new a funky the materialistic. Of course, this is my door to make a real-time movie each other's clothing, and I am way of using the washing machine. beautiful, bountiful Laurier, where ofmy life? greeted by the stench of skid marks You have to tell him how you feel. everyone has their own earning on his boxers. This guy hates to do Who knows what you'll find stuck to potential. Let's face it "Built", an & Quentin Tarantino on SNL laundry. When his boxers get your teeth when you go down for a intelligent mind is the most attrac- I don't know, I just expected more... unbearable, he simply turns them snack. tive part of the human body. A girl torture. inside out and wears them that way. Dynamic Duo loves nothing more than having a How do I let him know that I think terrific conversation about the logis- 7. time Square (King Street down- he's a pig, without hurting his feel- Dear Dyno Team, tics of the current electoral system AARON HUNTER town Waterloo). ings? I was wondering why girls always after a night of great sex. The Cord Entertainment I hear this is where National Signed, seem to be attracted to the quiet, largest sexual organ in the female 1.Kinder Eggs. tranquilly and tags all Yuk intellectual guys? I'm a big strong body is her brain. So pump up, Combining three things children their trendy people for radio-track- Dear Yuk, guy, I work out, I'm proud of the read some Nietzsche, and work on love; chocolate, surprises, and sharp ingpurposes. - First things first. We are obligated to way I look. Then, last week at the that as a pick up line. little plastic toys that fit in your mention that poor personal hygiene Turret, this girl I was putting the Dynamic Duo mouth. 8. Jamie Walters, Dec ! at Lulu's. He's the guy who pushed Donna 2. Working Class Hero. down the stairs. A Th'bute To John l-ennon. I guess they must have lost those tapes of 9. The Maclean's University Issue. Bobcat Goldthwaite singing Woo woo, excMng. Woo. The Boar's Head Dinner 'Jmasne'. 10. The old Spiderman cartoon, 3. OurLady Peace. nowonYTtt Nov. 23 at Fed Hall. Cool cool No one ever scared me like Dr.

Naveed? Octopus scared me. Oh, wait„ that lizard-guy with the lab coat was 4. The Baladava. pretty scary. Sampling some hillbilly eats

J. FREDERICK LYNN AND mark. Yanns' is a small, well tiny, G. ROBERT RAPTIS place where you can buy... Yanns. Cord Entertainment Yanns are basically chili-dogs, but This week Joel and George crossed REALLY, REALLY spicy. These dogs the border to check out some of the were so hot, we needed to cool our fine restaurants in the state of West mouths off with jalapeno peppers Virginia. Our first stop in this beau- after eating them. Oddly enough, tiful state was at Shone/s. Shortens George, who hates spicy food, ate is a large American chain of cater* three, with the help of three cartons ies that can be compared to of chocolate milk. Needless to say, Denny's or the Golden Griddle. riding in a van with 11 "yann-fans" The unique thing about Sltoney's digesting their dogs was not fun, Traditional Holiday Dinner A variety of entertainment is their traditional mid-western but we all went back for more. American breakfast food» including * Even OUT trip to "McDonald's" in with "grits" and "biscuits with gravy". Fairmont. West Virginia is worthy of $15.00/ticket ($lO.OO can be taken off meal card) For those of you who don't know, note. In addition to the regular

grits look like applesauce mixed items oh the menu, they also had - - with milk, but taste like remnants tho McPhillie Beef Dip, McCaesar Tickets are available NOW! Centre Spot Concourse Dining Hall from a sandbox. Some of our salad and even a breakfast Canadian pals braved the grits, but Mcßurrito. They also had a special for info, phone 883-9605 Sponsored by none could honestly say they would on - 2 orders of 6-pack McNuggets r Cultural Affairs order seconds... it's an acquired for $2. taste. In all we had a great trip. The The all you can eat heart-stop- down-home cooking and hospitality Meet the Author ping, artery-clogging $2.99 break- made our visit to West Virginia I* fast buffet was stocked with every- awesome. thing you could want. From cereal, We thoroughly enjoyed our- to fresh fruit, to the greasiest of selves, but it wouldn't have been t bacons, one thing is for sure, their half as good without our pals and fpf Maude Barlow O.J. is to kill for. amazing tour guide, Fairmont local Another place we visited should and Dean of Students, Fred Nichols. M pjmrWM Straight Through the Heart: be considered an American land- Thanks Deano. How the Liberals Abandoned Protect Your fX\ Wednesday, November 22,1995 at Noon Investment vQ/ Room P3067, Peters Building, Wilfrid Laurier University Preferred Sen/ice For In place of a shift to the right within the Liberal Party, Maude Barlow and ALLACURAS Bruce Campbell detail a new Citizens' Agenda that would allow "Your car's home away from home." Canadians to keep their universal social programs by reforming taxes and /jgf aS |g|\ FAiRViEW 893-9000 lowering interest rates to cut the deficit, and by strengthening the public /V 2685 Kingsway Dr. institutions necessary to build a democratic and sovereign nation. Kitchener, Ont. Free Admission and Everybody Welcome Located behind Fairview Mall ■ Ride to Laurier available

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18 November 15, 1995 theCord NEU STUDENTEN KUNST

ANTON VOLCANSEK available at the Global Community Centre. You bingo hall. The numbers are called out as I use a can try those libraries but the best reference I bloody index finger to mark my game sheet. can give you is the Global Community Centre on Excitement rises when my card quickly fills up, Somehow, probably during a drunken stupor, King Street. Would you like the address?" but before I can call out "Bingo!" a sea otter Franz induced me into writing one assignment I no-thanked her and replaced the receiver. grabs my sheet and attempts to claim my prize. I on my own - just for the heck ofit, mein Herr. My Determined not to go off campus for this throttle the sea otter only to find the bingo hall suspicion is he wanted to get out of doing the assignment I went to the library and photocopied becomes a Greenpeace convention with everyone

work so he got me drunk and took advantage of the Encyclopedia Britannica entry for Ethiopia wearing a parka and a beard - including the me. and the lyrics to a Boomtown Rats album (Bob women. They are mad at me because I forgot to The assignment in question had to do with Geldof organized Live Aid), and paraphrased bring cold cuts. The otter turns into a bowl of pea Ethiopia. them. soup with a long black hair in it, and I faint from Opening the window, Franz announced, "I'm When 1 returned to the apartment Franz was blood loss into the arms of David Suzuki's reflex- off to the Third World Resource Centre." already sitting on his mat with a stack of photo- ologist. "For research?" copies he took from various magazines and When I awoke from this dream the sheets "Yes, of course, mein Herr. You are also plan- books. were wet but I wasn't sweating. I turned to refluff ning to go there, I trust?" "I didn't see you there, mein Herr." my pillow only to find a long black hair on it! "Ofcourse, ofcourse," I lied. "Oh, yes, well, um, 1..." This left me wondering if it really was a "Only an idiot wouldn't check it out consider- "Would you like a few articles?" he said. "I dream, and I fell back to sleep heavy with guilt. ing the type of assignment we have. Wouldn't you have more here than I can possibly use. This will Sarte wasright. agree, Herr Anton?" be one thorough research "Yes, yes of course," I lied again. "Urn, Franz, assignment, don't you think, where exactly is it?" Herr Anton?" "Ah ha, very funny, mein Herr," he chortled, "Yeah, whatever," I said. "You know very well it's on King Street in Uptown "I'm going to bed." Passion Waterloo." "Mein Herr, how do you

"Uptown?" expect to get a good mark - let Passion 1s what the world watts fop; "See you there," and down the fire escape he alone learn anything - if you Seething, bursting went. haven't adequately researched Running, bubbling, throbbing, There's no way I am going Uptown for the topic?" orlpplng, seeping. feathers research even ifit is the only place with the prop- "Franz," I said climbing Trickling down, up and behind er resources, I fumed. into bed, "There's nothing in A mountainous spine; All alone and not knowing where to turn I the history of Ethiopia that has Over a bosomous vale called the Student Helpline at 884-PEAR and was anything remotely interesting And a posthumous dale,

told I had a wrong number. I redialled, this time to do with me - except maybe Rich with spirits and ripe with words. 884-PEER, and a young woman answered. this assignment, and I've com- Deep 1t probes tired corporate woods I told her my assignment was on the pleted it. So now I'm going to And louds 1t echoes in sickly retail caves Ethiopian political struggle from 1975 to the pre- bed, never to think about it Where waxen teenagers sent, and asked where I could expect to find again." React with knaves, Volcansek information. "Those who forget history Commercial slaves who don't understand "I suggest you try the Global Community are doomed to repeat it,"he When 1t wraps and covers Centre," she said. "They have a Third World muttered. The rigid office tower Resource Centre that's unmatched in the region." I wondered what he meant With a warm, dark moist fog "Yes, yes," I said, "I've heard about them, but by that statement. Those who That makes the world's memory jog can you suggest any place closer? Like, say, on forget.... With those words on And shake Its fur like a wet dog campus?" my lips I fell asleep and had Freshly swarm "Well," she said, "Our library is certainly the most peculiar dream. And carelessly peeing Anton understocked with the material you need. Even In this dream I am sitting On the leg of a pin-striped suit. without UWs library doesn't compete with the resources at a table in a smoke-free Evan Morgan

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