v

Including VENTURE SCIENCE FICTION FEBRUARY • 33rd Year of Publication

NOVELETS

THE HEALER'S TOUCH 56 Susan C. Petrey NIGHTLIFE 88 Phyllis Eisenstein SHORT STORIES

UNDERSTANDING HUMAN BEHAVIOR 4 Thomas M. Disch SERGEANT PEPPER VARIATIONS 22 Howard Roller and Parke Godwin MASCOTS 38 Stanley Schmidt BLACKMAIL 78 Georse Florance-Guthridse ALMOST HEAVEN 120 Garry Kilworth HIGH STEEL 142 Jack C. Haldeman II and Jack Dann DEPARTMENTS BOOKS 31 John Clute STAR STORIES (Verse) 76 Sonya Dorman FILMS: The Crowbar in the Concrete 85 Baird Searles SCIENCE: The Circle of the Earth 130 Isaac Asimov CARTOONS: JOSEPH FARRIS (119), HENRY MARTIN (141) COVER BY DAVID HARDY FOR "HIGH STEEL"

EDWARD L. FERMAN, Editor & Publisher ISAAC ASIMOV. Science Columnist DALE FARRELL, Circulation Manager AUDREY FERMAN, Business Manager Assistant Editors: ANNE JORDAN, EVAN PHILLIPS. BECKY WILLIAMS

The Magazine of fantasy and Science fiction (ISSN: 0024-9MX), Volume 62, No. 2, Whole No. 369; february 1982. Published monthly by Mercury Pre55, Inc at S1.50 per copy Annual subscription $15.00; S17.00 outside of the U.S. (Canadian subscribers: please remit in U.S. dollars or add 15%.) Postmaster: send form 3579 to Fantasy and Science fiction, Box 56, Cornwall, Conn. 06753. Publication office, Box 56, Cornwall, Conn. 06753. Second cla55 postage paid at Cornwall, Conn. 06753 and at additional matlin1offices. Printed in U.S.A. Copyright© 1981 by Mercury Pre55, Inc. All ri&hts, includina translations into other lanauaaes. reserved. Submis~ions must be accompanied by stamped, self­ addressed envelope. The publisher assumes no responsibility for return of unsolicited manuscripts. The idea of having a go at a second chance at life is a fairly familiar one in sf, but there is nothing old-hat in this fresh and ironic vision from Thomas M. Disch, in which Richard Roe, an empty page waiting to be filled, comes to Boulder, Colorado to work and hike and, well, look for a purpose in life .... Understanding Human Behavior A ROMANCE OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS

;~OMAS M. DISCH He would wake up each mom- establishea preferences, no identity in ing with a consciousness clear as the the usual sense of a history to attach Boulder sky, a sense of being on the his name to - he just didn't want any­ same wave length exactly as the sun­ thing very much. light. Innocence, bland dreams, a Not that he was bored or depressed healthy appetite - these were glories or anything like that. The world was that issued directly from his having all new to him and full of surprises: the been erased. Of course there were strangeness of anchovies; the beauty of some corresponding disadvantages. old songs in their blurry Muzak ver­ His job, monitoring the terminals of a sions at the Stop-and-Shop; the feel of drive-in convenience center, could get a new shirt or a March day. These sen­ pretty dull, especially on days when no sations were not wholly unfamiliar, one drove in for an hour or so at a nor was his mind a tabula rasa. His use stretch, and even at the busiest times it of the language and his motor skills didn't provide much opportunity for were all intact; also what the psycholo­ human contact. He envied the wait­ gists at Delphi Institute called generic resses in restaurants and the drivers of recognition. But none of the occasions buses their chance to say hello to real of newness reminded him of any earlier live customers. experience, some first time or best time Away from work it was different; or worst time that he'd survived. His he didn't feel the same hunger for so­ only set of memories of a personal and cializing. That, in fact, was the major non-generic character were those he'd disadvantage of having no past life, no brought from the halfway house in

4 FantaiY lr Science Fiction Delphi, Indiana. But such fine mem­ He lived now in a condo on the ories they were - so fragile, so dis­ northwest edge of the city, a room and tinct, so privileged. If only (he often a half with unlimited off-peak power wished) he could have lived out his life access. The rent was modest (so was in the sanctuary of Delphi, among men his salary), but his equity in the condo and women like himself, all newly was large enough to suggest that his summoned to another life and respon­ pre-erasure income had been up there sive to the wonders and beauties in the top percentiles. around them. But, no, for reasons he He wondered, as all erasees do, could not understand, the world insist­ why he'd decided to wipe out his past. ed on being organized otherwise. An His life had gone sour, that much was erasee was allowed six months at the 5ure, but how and why were questions Institute, and then he was despatched that could never be answered. The In­ to wherever he or the computer decid­ stitute saw to that. A shipwrecked ed, where he would have to live like marriage was the commonest reason everyone else, either alone or in a fami­ statistically, closely followed by busi­ ly (though the Institute advised every­ ness reverses. At least that was what one to be wary at first of establishing people put down on their question­ primary ties), in a small room or a naires when they applied to the Insti­ cramped house or a dormitory ship in tute. Somehow he doubted those rea­ some tropical lagoon. Unless you were sons were the real ones. People who'd fairly rich or very lucky, your clothes, never been erased seemed oddly unable furniture, and suchlike appurtenances to account for their behavior. Even to were liable to be rough, shabby, make­ themselves they would tell the unlikeli­ shift. The food most people ate was an est tales about what they were doing incitement to infantile gluttony, a slop and why. Then they'd spend a large of sugars, starches and chemically en­ part of their social life exposing each hanced flavors. It would have been dif­ others' impostures and laughing at ficult to live among such people and to them. A sense of humor they called it. seem to share their values except so He was glad he didn't have one, yet. few of them ever questioned the reasonableness of their arrangements. Most of his free time he spent mak­ Those who did, if they had the money, ing friends with his body. In his first would probably opt, eventually, to weeks at the halfway house he'd lazed have their identities erased, since it was about, ate too much junk food, and clear, just looking around, that erasees started going rapidly to seed. Erasees seemed to strike the right intuitive are not allowed to leave their new balance between being aware and selves an inheritance of obesity or ad­ keeping calm. diction, but often the body one wakes

Undent.ilndi111 Human Behavior 5 up in is the hasty contrivance of a better than somebody else. Money was crash diet. The mouth does not lose its about the only purpose he could think appetites, nor the metabolism its rate, of, and even that was not a compelling just because the mind has had memo­ purpose. He didn't lust after more and ries whited out. Fortunately he'd dug more and more of it in the classical in his heels, and by the time he had to Faustian go-getter way. bid farewell to Delphi's communal din­ His room and a half looked out ing room he'd lost the pounds he'd put across the tops of a small plantation of on and eight more besides. spruces to the highway that climbed Since then, fitness had been his reli­ the long southwestward incline into gion. He bicycled to work, to Stop­ the Rockies. Each car that hummed and-Shop, and all about Denver, ex­ along the road was like a vector-quan­ ploring its uniformities. He hiked and tity of human desire, a quantum of tel­ climbed on weekends. He jogged. eological purpose. He might have been Once a week, at a Y, he played volley­ mistaken. The people driving those ball for two hours, just as though he'd cars might be just as uncertain of their never left the Institute. He also kept up ultimate destinations as he was, but the other sport he'd had to learn at seeing them whiz by in their primary Delphi, which was karate. Except for colors, he found that hard to believe. the volleyball, he stuck to the more Anyone who was prepared to bear the solitary forms of exercise, because on expense of a car surely had somewhere the whole he wasn't interested in form­ he wanted to get to or something he ing relationships. The lecturers at the wanted to do more intensely than he halfway house had said this was per­ could imagine, up here on his three­ fectly natural and nothing to worry foot slab of balcony. about. He shouldn't socialize until he He didn't have a telephone or a tv. felt hungry for more society than his He didn't read newspapers or maga­ job and his living arrangements natur­ zines, and the only books he ever look­ ally provided. So far that hunger had ed at were some old textbooks on geol­ not produced a single pang. Maybe he ogy he'd bought at a garage sale in was what the Institute called a natural Denver. He didn't go to movies. The integer. If so, that seemed an all-right ability to suspend disbelief in some­ fate. thing that had never happened was one What he did miss, consciously and he'd lost when he was erased, assuming sometimes achingly, was a purpose. In he'd ever had it. A lot of the time he common with most fledgling erasees, couldn't suspend his disbelief in the there was nothing he believed in - no real people around him, all their push­ religion, no political idea, no ambition ing and pulling, their weird fears and to become famous for doing something whopping lies, their endless urges to ' Fantasy a. Sdence Fiction control other people's behavior, like 1. Utility, the vegetarian cashier at the Stop-and­ 2. Communication, and Shop or the manager at the conven­ 3. Self-Concept. ience center. The lectures and demon­ Utility was obvious and didn't need go­ strations at the halfway house had laid ing into, while Self-Concept was really out the basics, but without explaining a sub-category of Communication, a any of it. like harried parents the Insti­ kind of closed-circuit transmission be­ tute's staff had said, "Do this," and tween oneself and a mirror. "Don't do that," and he'd not been in a "Now, to illustrate the three basic position to argue. He did as he was aspects of Communication, I have bid, and his behavior fit as naturally as some slides." She sat down behind the an old suit. A/V console at the front of the room His name - the name by which and fussed with the buttons anxiously, he'd christened his new self before eras­ muttering encouragements to herself. ure - was Richard Roe, and that Since the question was there in the air, seemed to fit too. he wondered what her black dress was supposed to be communicating. It was II a wooly, baggy, practical dress sprin­ At the end of September, three kled with dandruff and gathered loose­ months after coming to Boulder, Rich­ ly about the middle by a wide belt of ard signed up for a course in Con­ cracked patent leather. The spirit of sumership: Theory and Practice at the garage sales hovered about it. ''There!" Naropa Adult Education Center. There she said. were twelve other students in the class, But the slide that flashed on the all with the dewy, slightly vulnerable screen was a chart illustrating cuts of look of recent erasure. They sat in their beef. "Damn," she said, "that's next folding chairs, reading or just blank, week. Well, it doesn't matter. I'll write waiting for the teacher, who arrived it on the board." ten minutes late, out of breath and When she stood up and turned gasping apologies. Professor Astor. around, it seemed clear that one of the While she was still collecting punch­ utilitarian functions of her dress was to cards and handing out flimsy xeroxes disguise or obfuscate some twenty-plus of their reading list, she started lectur­ pounds of excess baggage. A jumble of ing to them. Before she could get his thin bracelets jingled as she wrote on card (he'd chosen a seat in the farthest the board: row back), she was distracted by the 1. Desire, need to list on the blackboard the three 2. Admiration, reasons that people wear clothing, 3. Solidarity. which are: ''There," she said, laying down the

Undentandlna Human Behavior 7 chalk and swinging round to face usually boils down to money: the good them, setting the heavy waves of black taste of petroleum-derived polyesters hair to swaying pendulously, "It's as as against-" She smiled and ran her simple as red, white, and blue. These hand across the piled cloth of her are the three types of response people dress. "-the bad taste of wool. Wit, try to elicit from others by the clothes likewise, is usually the wit of combin­ they wear. Blue, of course, would rep­ ing contradictory class-recognition resent solidarity. Policemen wear blue. signals in the same costume - an eve­ French workingmen have always worn ning gown, say, trimmed with Purina a blinding blue. And then there's the patches. You should all be aware, as universal uniform of blue denim. It's a consumers, that the chief purpose of cool color and tends to make those spending a lot of money on what you who wear it recede into the back­ wear is to proclaim your allegiance to ground. They vanish into the blue, so money per se, and to a career devoted to speak. to earning it, or, in the case of dia­ "Then white." She took a blank mond rings, the promise to keep one's piece of paper from her desk and held husband activated. Though in this case it up as a sample of whiteness. "White we begin to impinge on the realm of is for white-collar workers, the starch­ desire." ed white shirt wearable only for a To all of which he gave about as single day being a timeless symbol of much credence as he gave to actors in conspicuous consumption. I wish the ads. Like most theories it made the slide projector worked for this: I have world seem more, not less, complicated. a portrait by Hals of a man wearing Ho-hum, thought he, as he doodled a one of those immense Dutch collars, crisp doodle of a many-faceted dia­ and you couldn't begin to imagine the mond. But then, as she expounded her work-hours that must hve gone into ideas about Desire, he grew uneasy, washing and ironing the damned thing. then embarrassed, and finally teed-off. The money. Basically that's what our "Red," she said, reading from her second category is about. There's a deck of three-by-fives, "is the color of book by Thorstein Veblen on the read­ desire. Love is always like a red, red ing list that explains it all. Admittedly rose. It lies a-bleeding like a beautiful there are qualities other than solvency steak in a supermarket. To wear red is and success we may be called upon to to declare oneself ready for action, es­ admire in what people wear: good pecially if the color is worn below the taste, a sense of paradox or wit, even waist." courage, as when one walks through a There he sat in the back row in his dangerous neighborhood without the red shorts and red sneakers thinking camouflage of denim. But good taste angry red thoughts. He refused to be-

8 Fantasy & Science Fiction Jieve it was a coincidence. He was awaited her atop one of the tables. wearing red shorts because he'd bicy­ He walked over to the table and cled here, a five-mile ride, not because asked if she minded if he shared the he wanted to semaphore his instant bench with her. availability to the world at large. He She shook her head and then in a waited till she'd moved off the subject rather dutiful tone introduced her of Desire, then left the classroom as in­ dolls. The older was Ms. Chillywig­ conspicuously as possible. In the Bur­ gles, the younger was Ms. Sillygiggles. sar's Office he considered the other They were married. "And my name is Wednesday-night possibilities, mostly Rochelle, the same as my mother. workshops in posture or poetry or What's yours7" suchlike. Only one - A Survey of "Richard Roe." Crime in 20th Century America - of­ "Did you bring any food7" fered any promise of explaining "No. Sorry." people's behavior. So that was the one "Oh, well, we'll just have to pre­ he signed up for. tend. Here's some tuna fish, and here's some cake." She doled out the im­ The next day instead of going to aginary food with perfunctory mime to work he went out to New Focus and her dolls, and then with exaggerated watched hang-gliders. The most amaz­ delicacy she held up - what was it1 - ing of them was a crippled woman who something for him. arrived in a canvas sling. Rochelle "Open your mouth and close your Rockefeller's exploits had made her so eyes," she insisted. famous that even Richard knew about He did, and felt her fingers on his her, not only on account of her flying tongue. but because she was one of the found­ "What was that?" he asked, after­ ing mothers of New Focus and had ward. been involved in sizable altercations "Holy Communion. Did you like with the state police. The two women it7" who carried her down from New Focus "Mm." in the sling busied themselves with "Are you a Catholic?" straps and buckles and then, at Ro­ "No, unless that just made me chelle's nod, launched her off the side one." of the cliff. She rose, motor-assisted, "We are. We believe in God the on the updraught and waved to her Father Almighty and everything. Ms. daughter, who sat watching on the Chillywiggles was even in a convent edge of the cliff. The girl waved back. before she got married. Weren't you7" Then the girl went off by herself to the Ms. Chillywiggles nodded her large picnic table area where two rag dolls wobbly head.

Undentandins Human Behavior 9 Finding the subject uncomfortable, Why not just Amazement? he changed it. "Look at your mother "If she does kill herself," Rochelle up there now. Wow." continued dispassionately, "we'll be Rochelle sighed and for a moment, sent to an orphanage. In Denver, I to be polite, glanced up to where her­ hope. And Ms. Chillywiggles will be mother was soaring, hundreds of f~t able to do missionary work among the above. dolls there. Do you have any dolls?" "It's incredible, her flying like He shook his head. that." "I suppose you think dolls are only "That's what everyone says. But for girls. That's a very old prejudice, you don't need your leg muscles for a however. Dolls are for anyone who hang-glider, just your arms. And her likes them." arms are very strong." "I may have had dolls when I was "I'll bet." younger. I don't know." "Some day we're going to go to "Oh. Were you erased?" Denver and see the dolls' Pope." He nodded. "Really. I didn't know dolls had a "So was my mother. But I was only Pope." a baby then. So I don't remember any "They do." more about her than she does. What I 'Will you look at her now!" think is she must have committed some "I don't like to, it makes me sick. I really terrible sin, and it tortured her didn't want to come today, but no one so much she decided to be erased. Do would look after me. They were all you ever go in to Denver?" building. So I had to." "Sometimes." "It doesn't make you want to fly Ms. Sillygiggles whispered some­ someday, seeing her up there like thing in Ms. Chillywiggles' ear, who that7" evidently did not agree with the sug­ "No. Some day she's going to kill gestion. Rochelle looked cast down. herself. She knows it, too. That's how "Damn," she said. she had her accident, you know. She 'What's wrong?" wasn't always in a wheelchair." "Oh, nothing. Ms. Sillygiggles was "Yes, I've heard that." hoping you'd be able to take them to 'What's so awful for me is to think Denver to see the dolls' Pope, but Ms. she won't ever be able to receive the Chillywiggles put her foot down and Last Sacrament." said Absolutely Not. You're a stranger: The sun glowed through the red we shouldn't even be talking to you." nylon wings of the glider, but even He nodded, for it seemed quite Professor Astor would have had a hard true. He had no business coming out to time making that fit her theory. Desire! New Focus at all.

10 Fantasy & Science Fiction "I should be going," he said. Central Office to apologize for ab­ Ms. Sillygiggles got to her feet and sconding, he wasn't fired or even pe­ executed an awkward curtsey. Ro­ nalized. His boss, who was usually chelle said it had been nice to make his such a tyrannosaurus, said everyone acquaintance. Ms. Chillywiggles sat on had days when they weren't them­ the wooden step and said nothing. selves, and that it was all right, so long It seemed to him, as he walked as they were few and far between. He down the stony path to where he'd even offered some Valiums, which locked his bicycle to a rack, that every­ Richard said no-thank-you to. one in the world was crazy, that crazi­ ness was synonymous with the human III condition. But then he could see, At Naropa the next Wednesday, the through a break in the dose-ranked lecturer, a black man in a spotless spruces, the arc of a glider's flight - white polyester suit, lectured about not Rochelle Rockefeller's, this one had Ruth Snyder and Judd Gray, who, in blue wings - and his spirits soared 1927, had killed Ruth's husband Albert with the sheer music of it. He under­ in a more than usually stupid fashion. stood, in a moment of crystalline level­ He'd chosen this case, he said, because headedness, that it didn't make a speck it represented the lowest .common de­ of difference if people were insane. Or nominator of the crime of passion and if he was, for that matter. Sane and in­ would therefore serve to set in perspec­ sane were just stages of the great strug­ tive the mystery and romance of last gle going on everywhere all the time: week's assassinations, which Richard across the valley, for instance, where had missed. First they watched a scene the pines were fighting their way up from an old comedy based on the mur­ the sides of the facing mountain, hurl­ der, and then the lecturer read aloud a ing the grenades of their cones into the section of the autobiography Judd thin soil, pressing their slow advan­ Gray had written in Sing Sing while tage, enduring the decimations of the waiting to be electrocuted: lightning, aspiring (insanely, no doubt) "I was a morally sound, sober, toward the forever unreachable fast­ God-fearing chap, working and sav­ ness of the summit. ing to make Isabel my wife and When he got to the road his lungs establish a home. I met plenty of were heaving, his feet hurt, and his girls - at home and on the road, in trains and hotels. I could, I thought, knees were 'not to be reasoned with place every type: the nice girl who (he should not have been running along flirts, the nice girl who doesn't, the such a path), but his head was once brazen out-and-out streetwalker I again solidly fixed on his shoulders. was warned against. I was no sensu­ alist, I studied no modem cults, When he called his boss at the Denver thought nothing about inhibitions

Undent.llndina Hu~Mn Behavior 11 and repressions. Never read Rabelais Astor of Consumership: Theory and in my life. Average, yes- just one Practice to his table with a slice of of those Americans Mencken loves viscid, bright cherry cheesecake. "May to laugh at. Even belonged to a club - the Club of Corset Salesmen of I join you7" she asked him. the Empire State - clean-cut com­ "Sure. I was just going anyhow." petitors meeting and shaking hands "I like your suit," she said. This - and liking it." close she seemed younger, or perhaps There was something in the tone of it was her dress that made that differ­ Judd Gray's voice, so plain, so accept­ ence. Instead of last week's black wool ing, that made Richard feel not exactly bag she was wearing a dull blue a kinship, more a sense of being double-knit with a scarf sprinkled with similarly puzzled and potentially out blurry off-red roses. One glance and of control. Maybe it was just the anyone would have felt sorry for her. book's title that got to him- Doomed His suit was the same dull blue. Ship. He wondered, not for the first He'd bought it yesterday at the Stop­ time, whether he might not be among and-Shop, where the salesman had the fifteen per cent of erasees whose tried to convince him not to buy it. past has been removed by judicial fiat With it he wore a wrinkled Wrinkle­ rather than by choice. He could, Proof shirt and a tie with wide stripes almost, imagine himself outside the of gray and ocher. 'Thanks," he said. Snyder bedroom in Queens Village, "It's very '70's. You're an erasee, getting steadily more soused as he aren't you7" waited for Albert to go to sleep so that "Mm." then he could sneak in there and brain "I can always tell another. I am him with the sash weight in his sweaty too. With a name like Lady Astor I'd hand. All for the love of Ruth Snyder, have to be, wouldn't 11 I hope I didn't as played by Carol Burnett. He offend you by anything I said last couldn't, however, see himself as a week." more dignified sort of criminal - a "No, certainly not." racketeer or an assassin or the leader of "It wasn't directed at you personal­ a cult - for he lacked the strength of ly. I just read what it said in my notes, character and the conviction that those which were taken, all of them, practi­ roles would have required, and he'd cally verbatim from The Colors of the probably lacked it equally in the life Flag. We teachers are all cheats that that had been erased. way, didn't you know? There's noth­ After the class he decided he'd ing we can tell you that you won't find tempt Fate and went to the cafeteria, expressed better in a book. But of where Fate immediately succumbed· to course learning, in that sense, isn't the the temptation and brought Professor reason for coming here."

12 Fantasy a. Science Fiction "No7 What is then7" der that I just heard about that's lethal. "Oh, it's for meeting people. For What's the point of being erased if af­ playing new roles. For taking sides. For terwards you lead a life as stupid as ev­ crying out loud." erybody else's7" 'What7" "Right," she said. She picked up a "That's an old expression - for paper plate from an abandoned tray crying out loud. From the'40's, I think. and with a decisive rap of her fist Actually your suit is more '40's than squashed the wedge of cheesecake flat. '70's. The '40's were sincere about be­ "No morel Never again!" ing drab; the '70's played games." He looked at the goo and crumbs "Isn't there anything that's just here splattered across the table, as well as and now, without all these built-in on her scarf (there was a glob on his tie meanings7" too, but he didn't notice that), and She poised her fork over the gleam­ 'J,pn at her face, a study in astonish­ ing cheesecake. "Well," she said ment, as though the cheesecake had ex­ thoughtfully, then paused for a first ploded autonomously. He started to taste of her dessert. "Mnyes, sort of. laugh, and then, as though given per­ After you left last week, someone in mission, she did too. the class asked if there wasn't a way They stayed on, talking, in the cafe­ one could be just anonymous. And teria until it closed, first about Naropa, what I said-" She took another bite of then about the weather. This was his cheesecake. "-was that to my first experience of the approach of win­ mind-" She swallowed. "-anonymi­ ter, and he surprised himself at the way ty would come under the heading of he waxed eloquent. He marveled at solidarity, and solidarity is always soli­ how the aspens had gone golden all at darity with something - an idea, a once, as though every tree on a single group. Even the group of people who mountain were activated by one switch don't want to have anything to do with and when that switch was thrown, anyone else- even they're a group. In bingo, it was autumn; the way, day by fact, they're probably among the day, the light dwindled as his half of the largest." world tilted away from the sun; the way 'Tm amazed," he said, counterat­ the heat had come on in his condo with­ tacking on sheer irresistible impulse, out warning and baked the poor coleus "that you, a supposed expert on con­ living on top of the radiator; the misery sumerism, can eat junk like the junk of bicycling in the so much colder rain; you're eating. The sugar makes you fat and what was most amazing, the calm­ and gives you cancer, the dye causes ness of everyone in the face of what cancer too and I don't know what else, looked to him like an unqualified and there's something in the milk pow- catastrophe. Lady Astor made a few

Undent.,nclina Hum.Jin Beh..vior 13 observations of her own, but mostly think of that, did you see the game last she just listened, smitten with his inno­ night, what's your opinion of the cence. Her own erasure had taken crisis, and would you please speak to place so long ago - she was evasive as Lloyd about the time he's spending in to exactly when - that the world had the john. Lloyd, when spoken to, in­ no such major surprises in store for sisted he worked just as hard in the her. As the chairs were being turned john as in the office and said he'd cut upside down onto the tabletops, he down his time on the stool as soon as made a vague semi-enthusiastic com­ they allowed him to smoke at his desk. mitment to hike up to New Focus some This seemed reasonable to Richard but mutually convenient Sunday morning, not to the manager, who started to to which end they exchanged addresses scream at him, calling him a zombie and phone numbers. (He had to give and a zeroid, and said he was fired. In­ his number at work.) Why7 It must stead, to nobody's great surprise, it have been the demolition of that was the manager who got the axe. So, cheesecake, the blissful feeling, so long after just two weeks of grooming, lost to him, of muscular laughter, as Richard was the new Traffic Manager though a window had been opened in a with an office all his own with its own stuffy room and a wind had rushed in, view of other gigantic office buildings turning the curtains into sails and bring and a staff of thirty-two, if you count­ strange smells from the mountains out­ ed temps and part-timers. side. To celebrate he went out and had the famous hundred-dollar dinner at In the middle of November the com­ the Old Millionaire Steak Ranch with pany re-assigned him to the central of­ Lloyd, now the assistant Traffic Man­ fice in downtown Denver, where he ager, with not his own office but at was assistant Traffic Manager for the least a steel partition on one side of his entire Rocky Mountain division. Noth­ desk and the right, thereby, to carcino­ ing in his work at the convenience cen­ genate his lungs from punch-in to ter had seemed to point in this direc­ punch-out. Lloyd, it turned out, after a tion, but as soon as he scanned the pro­ second Old Millionaire martini, lived grams involved, it was all there in his up at New Focus and was one of the head and fingers, lingering on like the original members of the Boulder immutable melody of 1 + 1 = 2. branch of the cult. The one element of the job that "No kidding," said Richard, rever­ wasn't second nature was the increased ently slicing into his sirloin. "So why human contact, which went on some are you working down here in the city7 days nonstop. Hi there, Dick, what do You can't commute to New Focus. Not you think of this and what do you this time of year."

14 Fantuy • Sdence Fiction "Money. why else. Half my salary, into a more circumscribed routine of maybe more now, goes into the Cor­ apartment, job, and gym, as mounds poration. We can't live for free, and of snow covered the known surfaces of there sure as hell isn't any money to be Boulder like a divine amnesia. On earned building a damned pyramid." weekends he would sit like a bear in a "So why do you build pyramids?" cave, knitting tubes of various dimen­ "Come on, Dick. You know I can't sions and looking out the window and answer that." not quite listening to the purr of "I don't mean you as a group. I KMMN playing olden goldens in flat­ mean you personally. You must have tened-out, long-breathed renditions some kind of reason for what you're that corresponded in a semi-conscious doing." way to the forms of the snow as it lloyd sighed long-sufferingly. drifted and stormed and lifted up past "Listen, you've been up there, you've the window in endless unraveling ban­ seen us cutting the blocks and fitting ners. them in place. What's to explain? The He had not forgotten his promise to beauty of the thing is that no one asks Lady Astor, but a trip to New Focus anyone else why we're doing what was no longer feasible. Even with skis we're doing. Ever. That's Rule Number and a lift assisting, it would have been One. Remember that if you ever think an overnight undertaking. He phoned of joining." twice and explained this to her answer­ "Okay, then tell me this - why ing machine. In reply she left a message would I want to join?" - "That's okay." - at the conven­ "Dick, you're hopeless. What did I ience center, which got forwarded to just say to you? Enjoy your steak, why the central office a week later. His first don't you? Do I ask why you want to impression, that Destiny had introduc­ throw away two hundred dollars on a ed them with some purpose in mind, dinner that can last, at the longest, a was beginning to diminish when one couple hours? No, I just enjoy it. It's Saturday morning on the bus going to beautiful." the gym he saw a street sign he'd never "Mmn, I'm enjoying it. But still I noticed before, Follet A venue, and re­ can't keep from wondering." membered that that was the street she 'Wonder all you like - just don't lived on. He yanked the cord, got off, ask." and walked back over unshoveled side­ walks to the corner of 34th and Follet, \A/ IV already regretting his impulse: 15 Y Yith the increased social inputs at blocks to go, and then he might not work he had gradually tapered off on find her home. It was 8 degrees below. his visits to Naropa. Winter sealed him In the course of those 15 blocks the

UnclentAndina Human BehAvior 15 neighborhood dwindled from dowdy While he stumbled through the to stark. She lived in a two-story clap­ necessary explanations (how he hap­ board shopfront that looked like an il­ pened to be passing, why he hadn't lustration of the year daubed in black visited before), she sipped vodka from paint over the entrance: 1972. The a coffee cup. He assumed it was vodka, shopwindows were covered with ply­ since a vodka bottle, half-empty and wood, the plywood painted by some uncapped, stood on the cash register schizophrenic kindergarten with night­ that served as a bedside table. Most of marish murals, and the faded murals the shop-fittings had been left in situ: a peered out forlornly from a lattice of glass counter, full of dishes and cook­ obscene graffiti, desolation overlaying ware; shelves bearing a jumble of desolation. shoes, books, ceramic pots, and an­ He rang her bell and, when that tique, probably defunct electric appli­ produced no result, he knocked. ances. A bas-relief Santa of molded She came to the door wrapped in a plastic was affixed to the wall behind blanket, hair in a tangle, bleary and the bed, its relevance belied by layers haggard. of greasy dust. The room's cluttered "Oh, it's you. I thought it might be oddity combated its aura of poverty you." Then, before he could apologize and demoralization, but not enough: or offer to leave: "Well, you might as he felt stricken. This was another First well come in. Leave your overshoes in in the category of emotions, and he the hall." didn't know what to call it. Not simply She had the downstairs half of the dismay; not guilt; not pity; not indig­ building, behind the boarded-up win­ nation (though how could anyone be dows, which were sealed, on this side, drunk at ten o'clock on a Saturday with strips of carpet padding. A coal morning!); not even awe for the spirit stove on a brick platform gave off a that could endure such dismalness and parsimonious warmth. With a creak­ still appear at Naropa every Wednes­ ing of springs Lady Astor returned to day evening, looking more or less nor­ bed. "You can sit there," she said, ges­ mative, to lecture on the theory and turing to a chair covered with clothes. practice of (of all things) Consumer­ When he did, its prolapsed bottom ship. All these elements and maybe sank under him like the seat of a row­ others were fuddled together in what boat. At once a scrawny tabby darted he felt. from one of the shadowy comers of "Do you want a drink?" she asked, the room (the only light came from a and before he could answer: "Don't small unboarded window at the back) think it's polite to say yes. There's not and sprang into his lap. It nuzzled his much left. I started at six o'clock, but hand, demanding a caress. you have to understand I don't usually

16 fantasy & Science Fidion do this. But today seemed special. I "God damn it," she said, wiping a thought, why not1 Anyhow why am I purely hypothetical tear from the com­ making excuses. I didn't invite you, er of her bleary eye. "Why'd you have you appeared at the door. I knew you to pick this moming7 Why couldn't would, eventually." She smiled, not you have phoned7 You were always pleasantly, and poured half the re­ like that. You schmuck." maining vodka into he,r coffee cup. 'What7" "You like this place7'' "Schmuck," she repeated. And "It's big," he said lamely. then, when he just went on staring: "And dark. And gloomy. And a 'Well, it makes no difference. I would mess. I was going to get the windows have had to tell you eventually. I just put back in, when I took the lease last wanted you to get to know me a little summer. But that costs. And for winter better first." this is warmer. Anyhow if I did try to "Told me what7" make it a shop I don't know what I'd "I was never erased. I just lied sell. Junk. I used to throw pots. What about that. It's all there on the shelf, didn't I used to do. I did a book of everything that happened, the be­ poetry based on the Tarot (which is trayals, the dirt, the failures. And there how I latched onto the job at Naropa). were lots of those. I just never had the I framed pictures. And now I lecture, guts to go through with it. Same with which is to say I read books and talk the dentist. That's why I've got such about them to people like you too lazy lousy teeth. I meant to. I had the to read books on their own. And once, money - at least for a while, after the long ago, I was even a housewife, divorce, but I thought .... " She shrug­ would you believe that." This time her ged, took a swallow from the cup, smile was positively lethal. There grimaced, and smiled, this time almost seemed to be some secret message friendly. behind what she was saying that he 'What did you husband do7" couldn't uncode. "Why do you ask that7" He sneezed. 'Well, you seem to want to tell the "Are you allergic to cats7" whole story. I guess I wanted to sound He shook his head. "Not that I interested." know of." She shook her head. "You still "I'll bet you are." don't have a glimmering, do you7" He looked at her with puzzlement, "Of what7" He did have a glimmer­ then at the cat curled in his lap. The ing, but he refused to believe it. eat's warmth had penetrated through "Well then, since you just insist, I'll the denim and warmed his crotch have to tell you, won't 11 You were the pleasantly. husband you're asking about. And you

Understanclina Human Behavior 17 haven't changed one damned bit. tor, you're not my wife now. You're a You're the same stupid schmuck you washed-up, forty-year-old drunk were then." teaching an adult education course in "I don't believe you." the middle of nowhere.'' 'That's natural. After spending so "Yeah. Well. I could tell you how I much to become innocent, who would got that way. Schmuck." want to see their investment wiped out He stood up. "I'm leaving." like ... " She tried to snap her fingers. "Yes, you've said that before." " ... that." Two blocks from her house he re- "There's no way you could have membered his overshoes. To hell with found me here. The Institute never re­ his overshoes! To hell with people who leases that information. Not even to don't shovel their sidewalks! Most of their employees." all to hell with her! "Oh, computers are clever these That woman, his wife! What sort days (you know that), and for a couple of life could they have lived together7 thousand dollars it's not hard to per­ All the questions about his past that suade a salaried employee to tickle he'd subdued so successfully up till some data out of a locked file. When I now came bubbling to the surface: found out where you'd gone, I packed who he'd been, what he'd done, how it my bags and followed you. I told you had all gone wrong. And she had the before you were erased that I'd track answers. The temptation to go back you down, and what you said was, was strong, ·but before he could yield Try, just try.' So that's what I did.'' to it, the bus came in the homeward di­ "You can be sent to prison for what rection and he got on, his mind un­ you've done. Do you know that7" changed, his anger burning brightly. "You'd like that, wouldn't you7 If you could have had me locked up be­ fore, you wouldn't have had to get Even so it was ~ week before he'd erased. You wouldn't have damned mustered the righteous indignation to near killed me.'' call the Delphi Institute and register a She said it with such conviction, formal complaint. They took down the with such a weariness modifying the information and said they'd in­ anger, that it was hard to hold on to vestigate, which he assumed was a his reasonable doubt. He remembered euphemism for their ignoring it. But in how he'd identified with Judd Gray, fact a week later he got a registered let­ the murderer of Albert Snyde~. ter from them stating that Ms. lady "Don't you want to know why you Astor of 1972 Follet Avenue in Boul­ tried to kill me7" she insisted. der, Colorado, had never been his 'Whatever you used to be, Ms. As- wife, nor had there ever been any

11 Fanblsy a. Science fiction other connection between them. Fur­ When they got together for coffee, ther, three other clients of the Institute after work, he led her on from lie to lie had registered similar complaints until she'd fabricated a complete life about the same Ms. Astor. Unfortu­ for him, a romance as preposterous as nately there was no law against pro­ any soap on tv, beginning with a ty­ viding erasees with misinformation rannical father, a doting mother, a about their past lives, and it was to be twiri brother killed in a car crash, and regretted that there were individuals progressing through his years of strug­ who took pleasure in disturbing the gle to become a painter. (Here she pro­ equanimity of the Institute's clients. duced a brittle polaroid of one of his The letter pointed out that he'd been putative c~vases, a muddy jumble of warned of such possibilities while he ochres and umbers. She assured him was at the halfway house. that the polaroid didn't do it justice.) Now in addition to feeling angry The tale went on to tell how they'd and off-balance he felt like an asshole met, and fallen in love, how he'd sacri­ as well. To have been so easily diddl­ ficed his c~ as an artist to become ed! To have believed the whole unlike­ an animftion programmer. They'd ly tale without even the evidence of a been happy, and then - due to his snapshot! monstrous jealousy - unhappy. There was more, but she didn't want to go in­ Three days before Christmas she to it, it was too painful. Their son .... called him at work. "I didn't want to Through it all he sat there nodding bother you," she said in a meek little his head, seeming to believe each fur­ whisper that seemed, even now, know­ ther fraud, asking appropriate ques­ ing everything, utterly sincere, "but I tions, and (another Fint) enjoying it had to apologize. You did pick a hell of hugely - enjoying his fraudulence and a time to come calling. If I hadn't been her greater gullibility. Enjoying, too, drunk I would never have spilled the the story she told him about his imagi­ beans." nary life. He'd never imagined a past "Uh-huh," was all he could think to for himself, but if he had he doubted if say. he'd have come up with anything so "I know it was wrong of me to large, so resonant. track you down and all, but I couldn't "So tell me," he asked, when her in­ help myself." A pause, and then her vention finally failed her, "why did I most amazing lie of all: "I just love you decide to be erased7" too much to Jet you go." "John," she said shaking flakes of "Uh-huh." dandruff from her long black hair, "I "I don't suppose we could get wish I could answer that question. together7 For coffee, after work7" Partly it must have been the pain of lit-

Undentandina Human lehaYior 19 tle Jimmy's death. Beyond that, I don't on up the Five Waterfall Trail. Except know." for a few boot-challenging stretches of "And now ... 7" vernal bagginess the path was stony She looked up, glittery. "Yes7" and steep. The sun shone, winds blew, "What is it you want7" and the last sheltered ribs of snow She gave a sigh as real as life. "I turned to water and sought, trickle by hoped ... oh, you know." trickle, the paths of least resistance. By "You want to get married again7" one o'clock he'd reached his goal, Lake 'Well, no. Not till you've got to Silence, a perfect little mortuary chapel know me better anyhow. I mean I of a tam colonnaded all round with realize that from your point of view spruces. He found an unshadowed, ac­ I'm still pretty much a stranger. And commodating rock to bask on, took you've changed too, in some ways. off his wet boots and damp socks, and You're like you were when I first met listened as the wind did imitations of you. You're-" Her voice choked up, cars on a highway. Then, chagrined, and tears came to her eyes. he realized it wasn't the wind but the He touched the clasp of his brief­ shuddering roar of an approaching case, but he didn't have the heart to helicopter. take out the xerox of the letter from the The helicopter emerged like a Delphi Institute that he'd been intend­ demiurge from behind the writhing ing to spring on her. Instead he took tops of the spruces, hovered a moment the bill from under the saucer and ex­ above the tam, then veered in the di­ cused himself. rection of his chosen rock. As it passed "You'll call me, won't you7" she directly overhead a stream of water asked woefully. spiraled out of the briefly opened "Sure, sure. Let me think about it a hatch, dissolving almost at once in the while first. Okay7" machine's rotary winds into a mist of She mustered a brave, quavering rainbow speckles. His first thought smile. "Okay." was that he was being bombed, his next that the helicopter was using Lake In April to mark the conclusion of Silence as a toilet. Only when the first the first year of his new life and just to tiny trout landed, splat, on the rock glory in the weather that made such beside him did he realize that the undertakings possible again, he took helicopter must have been from the the lift up Mount Lifton, then hiked Forest Service and was seeding the lake through Corporation. Canyon past with fish. Alas, it had missed its mark, New Focus and the site of the pyramid and the baby trout had fallen on the - only eight feet at its highest edge so rocks of the shore and into the branch­ far, scarcely a tourist attraction - and es of the surrounding trees. The waters zo FAntasy 6 Science Fiction of Lake Silence remained unrippled could tell you. One more thing, and inviolate. though. We'll have to join New Focus He searched among those fallen and help them build their pyramid." along the shore - there were dozens 'Why?" _ for survivors, but all that he could "You can't ask why. That's one of find proved inert and lifeless when he their rules. Didn't you know that?" put them in the water. Barefoot, 'Would we have to live up there?" panicky, totally devoted to the trout of "Not year-round. It'd be more like Lake Silence, he continued the search. having a summer place, or going to At last among the matted damp nee­ church on Sunday. Plus some work on dles beneath the spruces he found three the pyramid." fish still alive and wiggling. As he "Well, I suppose I could use the ex­ lowered them, lovingly, into the lake ercise. Why do you want to get mar­ he realized in a single lucid flash what ried? Or is that another question I it was he had to do with his life. shouldn't ask7" He would marry Lady Astor. "Oh, probably. One more thing: He would join new Focus and help what's your favorite color?" them build a pyramid. "For what?" And he would buy a car. "A car." (Also, in the event that she became "A carl" Oh, I'd love a carl Be a orphaned, he would adopt little Ro­ show-off - get a red one. When do chelle Rockefeller. But that was count­ you want to do it7" ing chickens.) 'Til have to get a loan from the He went to the other side of Lake bank first. Maybe next week7" Silence, to the head of the trail, where "No, I meant getting married." the Forest Service had provided an "We could do that over the phone. emergency telephone link disguised as Or up here, if you want to take the lift a commemorative plaque to Governor to New Focus. Do you want to meet Dent. He inserted his credit card into me there in a couple hours7" the slot, the plaque opened, and he "Make it three. I need a shampoo, punched Lady Astor's number. She and the bus isn't really reliable." answered at the third ring. And so they were married, at sun­ "Hi," he said. "This is Richard Roe. set, on the stump of the unfinished Would you like to marry me7" pyramid, and the next week he bought 'Well, yes, I guess so. But I ought a brand new Alizarin Crimson Ford to tell you - I was never really your Fundamental. As they drove out of the wife. That was a story I made up." dealer's lot, he felt, for the first time in "I knew that. But it was a nice his life, that this was what it must be story. And I didn't have one that I like to be completely human. "'T

Undentandina Human Behavior 21 Parke Godwin ("The Fire When It Comes," May 1981) recently finished an occult book, A COLD BLUE LIGHT, with Marvin Kaye. Howard Roller, like Mr. Godwin a former professional actor, has since turned ,to critical writing, dividing his time between film history and music and record reviewing. Sergeant Pepper Variations BY I HOWARD ROLLER dont want :n~R: ?OD~~~~;.wt. Much ., I ~ don't want a spirit medium. I want spect David musically, I doubt if I'd you." have gone to the hotel if he'd explained So said David Ventre to begin it all. anything beforehand. He clinched my Without David Ventre, a pianist and indecision forcefully. musicologist of considerable stature, "Listen, Ron. You're not doing a I'd never have heard of or seen Rosetta damned thing tonight. Believe me, this Hansen. But David I trust, and is right up your alley." through his urging I listened to Rosetta My alley turned out to be a suite in play. Faced with the inexplicable, I lin­ a midtown hotel between Fifth and gered in that seedy hotel suite to hear Sixth A venues. With us in the dreary more. sitting room were two other men and a Concerning Rosetta Hansen, spirit woman. One of the men was an Indian mediums and musicologists alike have in a turban and off-white linen. The maintained a careful silence rather tell­ other man I knew - unfortunately. tale in itself. They've seen the music on Krebs, an obnoxious second-string re­ paper, but I was there. I saw David go porter whose fingernails were unsani­ from interest to electrified absorption tary where they weren't chewed, bor­ as he scribbled furiously to capture derline drunk as usual, lamenting the what Rosetta played. The arguments waste of an evening more profitably go pro and con, supported or denied- spent at Yankee Stadium. And still there are those incredible "I give up a good ball game for this, intervals in the Variations .... and we have to wait," he mourned. zz Fantasy • Science Fidion "New York and Boston. Guidry pitch­ wood posed before us, a magician with ing." hat from which would emerge an inex­ On the way over, David had tossed plicable rabbit. "Miss Hansen asserts off an allusion to Alouette Records, a that she's had contact with several of company specializing in off-beat classi­ history's most renowned composers." cal packaging. It didn't surprise me Krebs groaned audibly. David then when the door to an inner room looked at me and then at his shoes. I opened and Elwood Dodd, one of Al­ blew my nose quietly. The hom-rim­ ouette's PR men entered and flashed med woman took notes throughout. his audience a professional smile. Only the Indian sat, impassive. "Good evening." Elwood rapidly "I sense your skepticism," Elwood disseminated fliers to each of us, allow­ understated. "As professionals in ing a minimum of speed-reading time various fields, try to view this with an to peruse the short blurb, then spoke open mind." again. ''I'm not really sure of your ad­ "That goes without comment, El­ vance word on this, so I'll do a short wood," David remarked. "Ron and I briefing on a truly remarkable lady. came to listen, not to laugh." Her name is Rosetta Hansen. She's liv­ 'Thank you." Elwood's glance ed her entire life in Wizard's Clip, West passed over Krebs, who was hunched Virginia. Miss Hansen never left her further down in his chair. "Knowing home before this trip." the circumstances to be improbable - Elwood paused and swept his eyes to say the least - Miss Hansen provid­ over us. "I stress this because, what­ ed a tape of some music she claims was ever she is, Miss Hansen is not a hoax. personally communicated to her by Her father is a carpenter and she is an Schubert, Bach, Uszt and others." identical twin. Twelve years ago, her Krebs groaned louder, shifting in sister drowned. Roughly ten years ago, his chair, lamenting the lost Guidry. Miss Hansen made what she claimed as David's mouth was hidden behind her first contact with the spirit world folded hands, noncommittal. Music through the medium of her sister." from beyond, I thought. A different Elwood paused again - he was al­ approach, at least. Poor Elwood had to ways at pauses; part of his job, I sup­ blow the hom for so many, fresh an­ posed. Another wunderkind, I gles must be hard to come by. thought, but why the spiritualist "You've been invited tonight to angle? meet Rosetta, to hear her music for "Rosetta wrote to us five years yourselves, each of you providing a ago," Elwood went on. "Not about her different expertise. Ron Clark, a train­ sister, but - well, other personages ed psychiatrist and certainly knowl­ she claims to have met. In short," El- edgeable about music. Dr. Bruce -"

Se,.eant Pepper Variations :Zl Elwood nodded to the woman. "A Rosetta Hansen was not at all what published authority on spirit phenom­ expected; not the Madwoman of ena. Rabat Haszan, an expert in the Chaillot in too much make-up and field sometimes called astral projec­ audible jewelry, not even remotely Es­ tion." telle Winwood-ish. She stood by the The turbaned gentleman nodded piano, tentative, as if someone might sagely. ask her to leave, a small plump woman "And of course David Ventre, a in a flower-print paisley dress that re­ well-known pianist and critic. You, minded me of faded wallpaper. She Mr. Krebs, are evidently the only staff looked like West Virginia, like Lillian member your paper saw fit to send." Gish. Someone who grew up with side­ "Thanks. I owed a favor." walks that were quiet by nine o'clock "The other papers sent no one. I every night, where you could hear the think they may be sorry." spring stretch and whine when some­ Krebs half rose with a minimal at­ one opened an old screen door. tempt at manners. "I'll go if you want." Equally quaint were the two long­ "No, no." haired cats, white and gray, who ob­ "No problem, Mr. Dodd. I could viously enjoyed the unexpected com­ still catch six innings at the stadium." pany. They perked up as we entered, "Please stay," Elwood urged. "Just stretching themselves, rubbing against that I'd hoped for one of the music furniture and people's legs. critics." "Hello," Rosetta ventured. "Please Krebs sat down. "I just hope you're excuse my girls, but I couldn't come serious about this." without them. I hope no one's I ir:ttercepted Elwood as he moved allergic." toward the inner door. "Elwood," I The white cat jumped onto David's murmured, "Krebs has a point. Is this lap and settled herself. We exchanged a build-up genuine7" quick glance. The cat closed her eyes "Ron, I have to say a great many and purred contentedly. things about a great many artists. This "I guess you folks won't believe time I'm quite serious." me," Rosetta launched her explana­ "You mean you buy her7" tion. "I hardly do myself. But Louise "Just listen." He opened the door. and I, she's my sister, we're very close. "Ready, Miss Hansen7" I mean we were. I mean we were. Iden­ "Oh, yes." tical twins; you couldn't tell us apart. From the other room I caught the Oh, you could now. I've put on a little unmistakable Appalachian twang. El­ weight. Louise still looks like a size wood motioned us to the inner room seven." dominated by a small grand piano. I met her tentative smile with an in-

24 Fantasy lr Science Fidion dulgent one of my own. brought me to see a gentleman - a 'We were very close. So, after her lovely man, so shy. He played piano accident she began talking to me, for me. Well, not a real piano. They mostly when I took my afternoon nap. just kind of think of playing music, Louise said I could come visit with her and it's there. And when I got home, during my nap if I tried very hard. It after I woke up, I could play it. Not took quite a while, but I was finally well of course. I'm not a good sight­ able to leave my body as it slept. Not reader, and I can't write music, but for long. I wasn't very good at it at somehow I could play what I heard first, but like piano it gets easier. But from meir.,.>ry. And I do wish I could that doesn't matter. Only the music is play better because of Mr. Liszt ... important. But there, I'm jumping sorry. There I go jumping ahead ahead, aren't 1." again." One plump hand played nervously We sat open-mouthed, not know­ with the other, betraying her tension, ing what to say - if anything said which I felt was due more to unfamiliar would even be in Miss Hansen's people and surroundings than her bi­ league. Elwood Dodd stood to one zarre narrative. She spoke hesitantly, side, eyes closed and lips pursed like a not with the rushed, uninflected ur­ smug Buddha. Dr. Bruce wrote fur­ gency of a neurotic. I caught Dave's iously in her notebook. Rabat Haszan eye again. He was stroking the cat. I had been rapt since the first mention of think we were both beginning to like the out-of-body experience. Krebs Rosetta Hansen. glanced his watch. "Louise and I always loved music. "Now, the shy gentleman introduc­ We played the organ at First Baptist on ed himself as Mr. Schubert," Rosetta Sundays. We never had time to really went on. "He always sees me first." study, but after she left us, something Dr. Bruce's ballpoint shot up with a -I don't know what- just drove me question. "You're saying Franz Schu­ to practice and practice every spare bert is your spirit guide?" minute on the piano. I'm not very "I don't know what that is," Roset­ good, not nearly enough for -" She ta answered. "But he comes first and stopped abruptly; then with a nuance then brings someone else to see me. of apology: "Well, you'll see. You see, what they care about is the 'Well ... when I could get around music because they've all gotten so out of my body pretty well, visiting much further now than when they with Louise, she said she wanted me to were alive. They all get along fine, too. meet some of her friends. We both Well, Mr. Wagner can be very hard to make friends anywhere, Louise and I get along with." like people. And cats. So one time she Rosetta pronounced Wag like bag.

Seraeant Pepper VariatioM 25 "And he uses such awful language One got the impression it was a ritual. with Mr. Mendelssohn and Mr. Ger­ Rosetta announced the first piece as shwin. But George does make jokes a capriccio by Brahms. She called it a with Mr. Wagner's music, playing it all "caprice," and I thought: if this mixed up with Mr. Berg's, things like woman's fake, she's one of the best. that. But generally they all like each How much or little education she other and want their new music to be might have was impossible to gauge. published and heard over here." The music itself was disappointing, She turned quickly to Elwood. vaguely Brahmsian with arpeggios in "Oh, not for money, Mr. Dodd. They the left hand that she didn't negotiate don't need that. Just that they've got­ at all well, and the usual Brahms chord ten so much further than they did be­ progressions. Not very interesting, but fore. Mr. Schubert was only twenty­ then Brahms himself wrote some dull eight, he said, and all people know pieces. over here is the old music. Now, Mr. Next was an alledged Schubert im­ Beethoven - he's got a temper, but I promptu, quite lovely, with that lim­ just want to hug him, he's so real and pid lyricism one associates with Schu­ honest - he suggested I use tape to re­ bert. Rosetta managed it somewhat cord their music because I can't write it better than the Brahms, and it could down. To help them reach people to­ well have been Schubert, but what was day with their new ideas, things that new about it7 Any well-trained and aren't outdated. Well, I guess I've talk­ creative music student might have ed enough. Let me play a few things for written it, though every now and then you." I heard a chord that echoed from a She ended with her eyes on David. later period. Politely he urged, "Yes, please do." I was not terribly impressed or even Rosetta opened the piano. "They piqued until Rosetta began the third of­ play it so much better than I can, es­ fering. a strange and confused piece pecially Mr. Liszt. He has some won­ called Blues Melody. derful things that I can't begin to play, "By Duke Ellington and Maurice like Reflections on Luna that he wrote Ravel," she announced. after the moon landing. He was very Ellington and Ravel7 Hard to swal­ excited about that." low, though the piece was too formal When Rosetta sat down to play, for one and too soulful for the other. flexing her short fingers, I wondered if Bemused, Dave just shrugged helpless­ the music would measure up to her ly while Rosetta struggled through the story. The two cats jumped up onto short but intricate composition. the grand and perched at opposite ends "I don't play this well at all," she like the New York Public Library lions. apologized. "But old Duke, he can.

26 Fantasy a. Science Fidlon He's the finest colored gentleman I ever ish and looked up expectantly. The met. Just that he's new there, like John, gray cat hopped off the piano into her and not comfortable with the mind arms. Elwood stepped forward. piano yet, so Ravel helped out because 'What you've just heard is to be an he always admired Duke's music." Alouette release for month after next. I felt a vague uneasiness and a co­ Needless to say, any media coverage herent doubt began to fog my judg­ should be sensitively handled." ment. If this woman wasn't educated, Dozing through the last two pieces, someone very subtle was. Who7 And Krebs bestirred himself and rose, a case how did he or she coach a limited of terminal boredom. "Just tell me this, talent into this display7 lady: where's Judge Crater7 Or has "This last piece is called Sergeant anyone tipped you to the real identity Pepper Variations," Rosetta said. of Jack the Ripper7" Dave roused himself to ask a ques­ Rosetta flushed at his boorish guf­ tion. "You mean the Beatles number7" faw. Her pressed-flower face set in sad She nodded. "I guess so. I only resignation. know John. Mr. Lennon. He just arriv­ "Is that all you can say, Krebs7" El­ ed and isn't settled yet. Mr. Bach wrote wood prompted. "Not that I expected this because he likes John's music. It much more." really sounds better on the organ." "Yeah." Krebs squinted at his What could we think7 The theme watch and started for the door. 'Well was indeed the Beatle tune, and Bach's ... four innings left, maybe." He punc­ hand was unmistakable. She played it tuated his exit with a small belch. So too slowly for proper effect and much for the fourth estate. couldn't handle the ornamentation, The Indian, meanwhile, was at Ro­ but how did she know it at all7 It's easy setta' s side in an earnest if one-sided to imitate Baroque style but damned conversation, gesticulating, speaking a hard to sound like Bach himself. His rapid but unintelligible English. I chords are somehow inevitable. As it caught a fragment now and then. He fell on the ear, the piece was hard to referred to something called Eckankar doubt, simple yet perfect, and I longed and wanted to work with Rosetta to to hear it played by someone like help her spiritual self-realization so David. He looked at me, the same wish that she could attain Anami Lok and in his eyes. recognize Sugmad. "But no sheet music, of course," I "Who is Sugmad7" Rosetta in­ whispered. quired politely. The implication hit us then. Rosetta Rabat Haszan's eyes widened at the was playing all of this with no music. ignorance. "Madam, Sugmad is Lord She finished with a mangled flour- of All, the Ultimate Being. We study

27 the science of soul travel to reach of mercy and curiosity. Sugmad and be illuminated." "Doctor, how do you proceed with Her answer was polite but paro­ other cases like this?" chial. "''m sorry, Mr.... Rabbit? I'm a 'There are routine tests, behavioral Baptist and received Jesus when I was profiles, etc. We could monitor her thirteen. I have no wish to be illumin­ dreams, but that produces little. It is ated. I only came here because of the time-consuming, expensive and, in this music." case, not terribly provocative. Many "Ah." He stepped back, the brows people meet notables in their dreams. falling. "I see. I see." Rabat Haszan They never seem to encounter pedes­ bowed several times, excused himself trian types on these trips. The fact that profusely to Elwood and Rosetta, and they're musicians only echoes her own left. interest." Dr. Bruce - she of the mannish "But the music," I urged. 'What do suit- rose and barked: "Ms. Hansen? you make of that1" A few questions if you please." "Right," Elwood returned to the Rosetta beamed. "Of course." fray. "Look, how can she sound like Dr. Bruce twiddled her ballpoint. Bach when she doesn't even write "About the visits with your sister Lou­ music or improvise and plays like a ise. Does she ever appear to you in this third-year student?" world or do you always travel to 'Well, that?" Dr. Bruce waved it hers?" away. "Many people have knowledge Rosetta admitted she did the trav­ in the subconscious that they don't ad­ eling. mit to or are aware of. This makes it "And your journeys are always impressive to them but hardly proves during sleep?" an extraterrestrial source." "Yes, always." Elwood shook his head. "Sounds Dr. Bruce beckoned Elwood aside. like your mind is made up." I was in earshot and eager to hear the "You'll have to excuse me." Dr. assessment of science. Bruce gathered up her bag and top­ "I don't think this qualifies as a le­ coat. "I have a plane to catch. There's a gitimate phenomenon. At no time are possessed child in Minnesota .... " there any actual spirit manifestations And the lady took her leave, hard verifiable by objective observers. science abandoning the dilettantes. Many supposed phenomena can occur "Not a music lover," I judged. in sleep. This is simply overactive im­ "And it's all in a day's work to her." agination." Elwood agreed. "Jaundiced. Do Elwood fumbled for words, not you think someone's subconscious ready for this criticism. I jumped in ~ut could improvise Bach7''

28 fantasy 8r Science Fiction "Hardly, unless they're Gould or Landowska." Big format ~rback! "Don't feel badly, please." Rosetta came to us, carrying the gray cat. "You've really done your level best, Mr. Dodd. And these nice gentlemen haven't left." David Ventre came out of his brown study. "I don't know, Elwood. I like the Bach piece. But there's her musical training or the lack of it." "I know what you're thinking," said Elwood. "She sight-reads poorly, can't improvise, and you heard her play. God! Why won't someone just consider the possibility of truth. My boss just laughs lL~eJ'm coming off the wall with this." He took a deep, pro­ phetic breath. "You know what'll hap­ pen. We'll cut one record as a novelty. This literary monument to the Then it'll be forgotten. But what if netherworld features stories by. .. she's telling the truth? Just suppose." Stephen King Rosetta's back straightened. "I am · Ray Bradbury telling the truth." She stared at me. I Edgar Allan Poe Fredric Brown dropped my eyes. "The only thing I Robert Bloch feel badly about is their music. There's Tennessee Williams more, much more than I've been able Charles L. Grant to learn. I don't play or read well at all, Robert Louis Stevenson Talmadge Powell I'm sorry." Morris West "Don't be, Rosetta." Dave turned Donald A. Wollheim to Elwood. "Do you have any music Sir Arthur Conan Doyle paper? I'd really like to note down the and more ... Bach piece. Rosetta, if you'll play it 725 pp.; Gx9"; sit5o again, slowly, I can note it down. Who at bookstores knows? Perhaps I can put it into a re­ cital as an encore. I'm not saying that I lrrr;=mBOOKS believe, but.... " Arbor House Publishing Co .. 235 East 45th Street Rosetta's smile was no longer tenta­ New York, N.Y 10017 tive. "Thank you. Mr. Bach will be so

Seraeant Pepper Viiriations 29 pleased. I'll be happy to play for you." a small plump woman with tiny hands There was no paper available but and short fleshy fingers. Bach's hands the hotel stationery. David ruled sever­ were huge, his left-hand facility quite al sheets for piano score, pulled a chair equal to the right. This is rare even up beside the piano bench and nodded among the best pianists. All of Bach's to Rosetta. keyboard music makes great demands "Okay, ready." on a player's left hand. Elwood and I just watched and lis­ This final version of Sergeant Pep­ tened. It was still unmistakably Bach; per Variations, transcribed by David we couldn't see how anyone else could Ventre from Rosetta's demonstration, have written it. David made rapid no­ had enormous left-hand intervals - tations, stopped Rosetta every two or twelfths and larger - that Rosetta three bars. At one particular point, couldn't begin to negotiate. The bench­ Rosetta halted to remark. mark was unmistakable to the ear. "This version is simpler than Mr. And if she couldn't write it down, how Bach's. He has such large hands, you did she retain it7 see, so he made it easier for me. But as Elwood and I just sat, able only to long as you're writing it down, let me listen, and I remember wondering, show you his way." when I could tear my mind from the "Yes. Yes." David Ventre was no music, at the liner notes someone longer bewildered but excited. would write, and who they could get "Then there's Mr. Liszt's version. to do them. He plays everybody's work, since he's The music spun out under David's the most wonderful player, but he adds fingers, suffusing us in its power, and things of his own." thought became irrelevant. Wherever She began again, showing Dave a created, the music was real. chord, then letting him play it. So it I leaned back in my seat, reverent. went, Dave notating feverishly, play­ Elwood was smiling now, a rictus that ing each complicated phrase over a few gradually widened to a grin of delight times to study the shape. A new, fuller as he thought of cover art, someone piece of much greater complexity be­ like Harris Goldsmith - why not7 - gan to emerge, Dave yelping with de­ to do the liner notes, and how you de­ light as a particularly wondrous pro­ sign a record jacket to do justice to the gression cascaded from the keyboard. large or small miracle inside. "Yes! Damn it, yes! You can hear And the white cat, reappearing it." from nowhere, jumped onto my lap, I heard it - and what can I say7 decided I was Good Folks, and settled Except that my instinct here is surer down for a long stay. than my knowledge. Rosetta Hansen is

30 Fantasy & Science Fiction Stephen Goldin, A World Called Solitude, Doubleday, 1981, $9.95. Nicholas Yu makov, Journey from Flesh , Berkley BooKs, 1981, $2.25. Paul Preuss, Re-entry, Bantam Books, 1981, $2.25. Douglas :Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Harmony Books, 1980 (UK 1979), $6.95. Orson Scott Card, Unaccompanied Sonata and Other Stories, The Dial Press, 1981, $10.95. Gene WoUe, Gene Wolfe's Book of Days, Doubleday, 1981, $9.95.

By 1970 it was no longer possible. Suddenly there was too much to read. Before that point, somewhere in the United States of America, someone or other was managing to keep up with everything everyone was publishing in science fiction or fantasy, and the knowledge that he or she (probably he back then) was out there keeping an eagle eye on all the big na~es and all the strays was oddly reassuring to at least some of the rest of us, because we knew that a genre still small enough to read was a genre small enough to un­ derstand. Somehow you couldn't be snuck up on from behind. Now there's no one to defend our rear. A genre too big to read is a genre you can't see the boundaries of. As readers and writers and editors and re­ viewers we become at last classic vic­ tims of the dehumanizing scale of the Twentieth Century. Ultimately there's no we left at all. And in the new envi-

Books 31 ronment of media packaging that self-pitying on a deserted planet full of treats fans as consumers (another magic technology) and Doc Smith epic Twentieth Century process we seemed (years later, nubile girl soldier crashes immune from, maybe because we were on same planet while fleeing vile aliens very small), it's become increasingly who are making undeclared war on difficult to get the feel of new books, human space, tries to shake hero out of which more and more take on the as­ his fugue so he can save humanity), pect of products assembled for con­ but never cashes in on the ironies sumption. What certainly sounds orig­ churned up in this melange. When Birk inal and from-the-heart in the first the anti-hero says he's still afraid of be­ novel of (say) Nicholas Yermakov, ing treated as a criminal back on Earth, author of several urgent, hilarious, as­ the warrior lady tells him that, on the tringent stories for this magazine, may contrary, he's gonna end up in clover. or may not tum out all but indistin­ Howzat7 quizzes the bemused neurotic guishable from other products put to­ Birk. Well: gether to fill the space-opera marketing 'Just look at it. The Commonwealth slot. Orson Scott Card may be explor­ is at war with these aliens. You cap­ ing harsh catechisms of private pain, tured one of their officers alive. You or maybe he's a merchant. Who invented a machine that jams their ships. You discovered an entire plan­ knows7 Who can tell the dark night of et filled with exotic weapons and the soul from dark-night-of-the-soul new technology. I don't think any style7 And who is Stephen Goldin single person could make a bigger when he's not a Doc Smith plant7 contribution to the war effort.' Stephen Goldin can be described as So finally Birk is convinced, be­ the author of A World Called Solitude, cause he had never thought of it this which he dedicates to his wife, so that way before. The rest of us, who had he may actually mean it all, and which certainly thought of it this way before, reads rather like late-early-middle like from maybe page three, may be Robert Silverberg stuck in molasses. excused from wondering whether A Though by no means sharp-witted, A World of Solitude is an honest though World Called Solitude earnestly and at slightly dumb novel about the salva­ times charmingly combines Silverberg­ tion in human terms of a hyperventil­ ian Weltschmerz (neurotic solitary ur­ ating Silverbergian soul far from New ban scientist who has invented faster­ York, or perhaps just Fantasy Island. than-light travel and has been framed Take your pick. If I had to, I'd plump by his government while at the same for sincerity. slightly stewed. time failing his wife sexually and in other ways escapes crashed prison Now about Nicholas Yermakov. ship, sets up life alone and morosely Journey from Flesh gives off a compe-

32 Fantasy I. Science Fiction tent post-Delany tang in its opening have told anyone in his sleep. What re­ scenes, which (after a teaser prolog) es­ mains is space opera, subtly dishon­ tablish paramed rated phase shift navi­ ored by pretense. The lizards are of gator Alan Dreyfus on a spree in Port course a valiant dying species on Viet­ City on a blah planet where he meets a Nam-like Xerxes Something Or Other pack of 19605-style "bohemians" in a exploited by the arrogant merciless bar, and also an ex-mercenary, once in Shahin for the juice or whatever it is the service of the dread musclebound that turns men into heldentenors I Shahin and now seemingly addicted to mean Shahin; once bitten himself by a a vampire lizard whose bite seems to lizard, Dreyfus begins to see the light grant him paranormal empathy to such and, helped by the Navy and the "bo­ a degree that he can (or maybe it's the hemians" and Viet-Nam-sergeant-like lizard who can) tell the truth about Creed Steiger, he saves Xerxes, though anyone, down to the last soul-baring only with the additional help of - but detail, for a fee. Thinking it's a scam, that would give the story away. It's all Dreyfus dares him to go ahead, at rather a shame. With his title taken which point (we have reached page from a poem by Theodore Roethke, eleven) Nicholas Yermakov came to with his dedication made not only to what I'd guess was a crisis decision personal friends but to public friends nexus. Should he take on the task of Norman Spinrad and Harlan Ellison as actually presenting some of the truths well, with long extracts from Cole­ Dreyfus is going to be saddled with, ridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner thus making some novelistic attempt at acutely uncomfortable in their new set­ rendering something of the baroque in­ ting, and with a numbing Afterword in scapes of the human enterprise centur­ which the author tells us carefully (in ies hence and light-years gone, or better prose than his novel) how the should he stop giving us hints that he's book I think he never wrote got writing an actual novel and get on with thought up (but not how he never the job. Read on: wrote it), a good writer thoroughly A brutal encounter. Alan Dreyfus lost has betrayed both himself and the stripped and flayed. John (the mer­ beginnings of some good ideas; he is cenary) laughed, he smiled, he visibly the wrong emcee for this potted charmed and told me things about package tour of the space opera mar­ myself that were so deeply buried that my conscious mind had never ket. thought to resurrect them. End of novel. Beginning of job. After Paul Preuss may or may not have this shameless flapdoodle we learn ab­ less talent than Nicholas Yermakov, solutely nothing about Dreyfus of any but does fit himself with pleasing and interest beyond what Doc Smith could appropriate anonymity into the job of

Boob 33 telling his polished banny traditional I don't think anyone could pretend tale of time and space travel, which that Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's ends (as usual) in Gordian knots I had Guide to the Galcuy, which novelizes no sword for. Like all true hard sf, Re­ part of his extraordinarily successful entry is a novel which is what it means BBC radio series of the same name, to be - glossy, technophilic, ornate, ever amounted to much more than a savvy about the frontiers of knowl­ job of media transplant for its author edge, power-obsessed in the name of who, having once already told the hardnosed realism, great on carapace, jokes and the story they engendered, vacuous on the inner depths. But cy­ was very likely, at the point he wrote borg-android computer-assisted tele­ the novel, also preparing to run the pathic confabs and the kinetic inter­ whole package through yet another action between Man and bronco black transformation - into a television holes aside, the main thing about a series, also successful. But whatever hard sf novel is that, whatever it's form this blatant package comes in, it's about, it doesn't take the micky out of a joy. it. True to form, Re-entry copes un­ To begin with, Hitchhiker is indeed smilingly with a tale too convoluted to a novel about how to travel free more than hint at. A man wishes to around the galaxy; somewhere in be­ change his lifestyle by going back in tween it is a cosmological fable about time through a black hole in a space­ the construction of our Earth as a gi­ ship and tutoring himself on a primi­ gantic living computer designed to tive planet rather like Australia, and solve the riddle of existence (all costs does. The oldest wisest woman in the covered by the creatures who had us universe has a watching brief and lends built and who manifest themselves in a helping hand (it gets complicated the shape of white mice so they can here). A corrupt dictator is tied in pret­ watch us experiment); but it all ends zels (or isn't). A planet-wide experi­ before anything is properly resolved ment in evolution is seriously toxified because there is a sequel, The Restaur­ by all of the above. There are space­ ant at the End of the Universe, episodes ships out of Star Wars and characters of which appear earlier in the radio whose actions have a high albedo but and tv versions than they do in print, whose hearts are as illegible (or empty) which is sometimes confusing. But no as the space between the stars in Holly­ thumb-waving at the actual flow of wood. It's all a lot of fun. Brand mer­ story can do much more than deflate chandise. Which means that you do get the underlying jokes which clearly what you pay for. structure the sometimes slightly pixy moves of the tale. If we hear that Earth • • • is about to be demolished to make way

34 Fantasy & Science Fiction for an interstellar turnpike, then soon­ like a grenade held to the stomach - er or later Earth will be demolished, seems to sound authentic all right, but and all her citizenry die, with the ex­ only sometimes; there is a pervading ception of some white mice, and the lack of gearedness between text and heroes, who are hitchhiking. Signifi­ reader, which may in part be due to cantly, Adams did some script work problems of focus engendered by that for Monty Python's Travelling Circus, expanded commercialized horizonless the famous 1960s British tv revue, genre we've been moaning about for where similar deadpan leaps shaped the last couple of thousand words. many of the best sketches. It's certainly the case that Card's ef­ Given its music-hall premises, the fect, when tested by comparison with tone of Hitchhiker is sometimes dam­ earlier writers in the genre, can seem agingly sophomoric, and there is a mannered, decadent, villainous; and he constant taint of collegiate wit in the can read like a professional spelunker naming of silly names and the descrip­ only pretending to take risks in the tions of silly alcoholic beverages; and blood caverns of the invaded heart. the smooth finger-licking cynicism of This is clearest in some of the stories in the book does sometimes remind one Unaccompanied Sonata which are old of Kurt Vonnegut's lesser moments. genre fancies reclothed; "Mortal But so it goes. There is enough joy Gods," for instance, takes the idea that throughout, enough tooth to the zani­ there is an elevated poignance in being ness, and enough rude knowingness human and mortal in a universe of about media-hype versions of science longlifers for whom death is a mystery fiction, to make Hitchhiker one of the and who worship our transience, and genre's rare genuinely funny books. so manipulates the pathos of the tale that the reader tends to finish the story We come to a star writer of the new feeling rather like Queen for a Day: age when stranger beds with stran8er. consumed. So the reader may feel a We do not know whether to laugh or certain suspicion, and, on coming cry. Neither does Orson Scott Card, across more original-seeming work, maybe. At the heart of all his work to may feel once-bitten about following date a compulsive cold technical polish Card's lead into the theme-park Deep. unflaggingly exposes to view some of Take "Kingsmeat," which reads like a the oddest mortal coils the genre has toboggan ride downwards into late yet presented to its readership, but I Twentieth Century paradigm country, for one have nevtr been able to tell if where the knives are out. On a con­ the innards he formaldehydes are gut quered human colony planet, anthr~ or plasteel. This drive of his to the in­ pophagous alien rulers in a magic cas­ terior nerve - which sometimes reads tle demand living flesh of their victims;

Books 35 to do their bidding, a human Shepherd presents that eighteen previously strides through the Disney village £ull autonomous stories can usefully be of captives, selecting limbs and breasts brought together to illustrate a and organs for the repast, calmins the chronology of Days like Valentine's donors with his magic wand. Suddenly Day and Mother's Day and Thanksgiv­ the planet is liberated, and he is put on ing and so on. Appended to work of trial. Though the colonists come to rec­ the complexity Wolfe demonstrates ognize that he has been playing Shep­ here, these labels, like stool pigeons, herd to prevent a massacre of all tell versions of their tales only a cop human stock, they refuse to let him would believe, though maybe a kind of free; if he has played God, then like so sly irony is being offered here, because many gods he must be put in bondage if there's one thing Wolfe's work is not, and gradually eviscerated, though kept it's simpleminded. alive to watch his people smile. So. Certainly some of the stories in this Does the story work as allegory, as a volume seem garish and one-dimen­ kind of dream of Duty General Doug­ sional when associated with deeply las MacArthur might have had in 1951, worked achievements like "Forlesen" or does it evoke more power£ully that and "Three Million Square Miles." abyssal aimless pomotopic rrueltv "How I Lost the Second World endemic to much of the art of today War ... ", for instance, or "Of Relays (for we are in a time of troubles) and and Roses," are both pretty much what whose literary roots (one supposes) are they seem to be: gimcrack genre n~ in texts like Story of 01 Other stories tions stretched out to cope with some in the book, like the well-known magazine or other's' routine space re­ "Ender's Game" and "Unaccompanied quirements. Wolfe, when he's being as Sonata" itself, likewise chill the mind straightforward as he's capable of, is at until it is too numb for catharsis. In the best competent, and indeed his virtues end, glitter blinds, and Card abandons tend to turn a little sour. Indirection us there, in the dark. can become misdirection; richness of language and thematic multivalency After years of solid productive can so overload simple narrative reso­ work Gene Wolfe has suddenly lutions that the reader ends the story become a very prominent writer in­ with the thought that maybe a final deed (about time) and very marketable page is missing, because his eyes have (but he's a grown man). All the same, been opened too wide. it's hard not to cavil about the title of Fortunately, Wolfe very rarely tries his latest collection, Gene Wolfe's what one might call stoolpigeon stories Book of Days, and the procrustean - stories you can papaphrase and hype generated by the notion it catch the truth of. When he bears

Faataly 6 Science Fiction down, because of his superb control from childhood to adulthood, from over and enrichment of the organon of adulthood to old age; in these stories a generic material one might have deeply attuned vision of the rhythms thought already done to death, he re­ and outcomes of the l~onversation minds me just a little - I'm afraid this between child and family, adult and is going to sound pretty pretentious - world, gives meaning to both "sides," of Johann Sebastian Bach. The central tells us ultimately that maybe there are fact about Bach is not his originality no real "sides" in the conversations we (for he was not very original) but his all have with the voices of those near immense comprehensive grasp of the to use and with the prison of the world given. As Bach synthesized the Ba­ whose depiction in science fiction roque, so Gene Wolfe seems to be at­ terms is at the same time hilarious and tempting to synthesize true stories out minatory in Wolfe's hands; no sides of the growing incoherence of our perhaps, but certainly walls. genre. Wolfe is clearly avid for meaning; It is not the notes of a fugue but he clearly longs to make the world their echoes which give it meaning. mean something human. But unlike Clearly inclined to irony and parody, too many contemporary writers in the both techniques which of course re­ field - for whom the search for mean­ quire an already existing Matter to ing is for a door in the wall through work upon and draw echoes out of, which readers can be piped for a price Gene Wolfe has for years been quietly - Wolfe tells us again and again that but implacably re-naturing the understanding is going to have to be its shibboleth- and gizmo-ridden deep own reward. That there is no other structures of our genre, bringing out prize. That there is no one to give us a the internal human circumstances that prize for knowing that we have been always motored our flights to Mars, alive. After a lifetime which has passed however tenuously they were dealt with the passing of a single day, For­ with by overworked "hack" writers lesen has a question to ask the under­ trying to feed themselves at a cent a taker who has magically appeared. word. At the heart of his best stories (it 'I want to know if it's meant any­ is the actual subject matter of the as­ thing,' Forlesen said. 'if what I suf­ tonishing "Forlesen") lies a remarkable fered - if it's been worth it.' 'No,' the little man said. 'Yes. capacity to create adequate breathing No. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Maybe.' models of the experience of moving

Boob 17 For some solid, off-earth science fiction, like this story about interstellar ambassador ]erol Telrig and his battle with the beasts of the planet Sylvanne, who better to turn to than the esteemed editor of Analog, Stanley Schmidt.

Mascots BY STAN LEY SCHMIDT

Ibeaotdidnot~. clawed feet. It was the size of a large That was the baldest possible state­ dog; big overlapping plates covering ment of the intellectual part of Ambas­ its body gave it a vaguely reptiloid as­ sador Jerol Telrig's reaction on seeing pect. But its eyes burned with a bright­ it. Emotionally, it took a while even to ness more mammal-like than reptilian, register. and the rest of its head was, with only It was that far from belonging. slight exaggeration, aU teeth. Telrig blinked and looked again. It Conceivably - an interstellar am­ was still there. Except for it, he was bassador learns to expect surprises on alone, by choice and with the coopera­ any new world - it was some sort of tion (perhaps too willing?) of the plan­ pet. Nevertheless, Telrig's hand crept etary government. Around him to his hidden lasergun - just in case - stretched the spacious boulevards and and he felt the effects of adrenalin slip­ plantings and fountains and buildings ping into his blood. of Boskavel, the capital. The local sun Standing very still, he looked shone warmly overhead; he no longer around. Where was the beast's owner7 noticed its slight excess of orange. In (And who would want such a thing7) aU, a picture of tranquility so complete From a flower-lined walk in the as to be, on reflection, subtly disturb­ parklet across the boulevard appeared a ing to one with his mission. girl. Fifteen standard years old, Telrig Except for the beast. guessed. Petite, with freckles and It had appeared from behind a turned-up nose and sleek auburn hair building, padding softly on six heavily that flashed in the sunlight. She walked

FantAil' a. Science Fidion easily, in a colorful shift that rippled certain. Struggling to hold the aim­ around her as she moved, relaxed and beam on the beast, he pressed the carefree. guarded stud. The supercapacitors in And alone. the unit released their charge with an The beast saw her and turned audible crack, and a general flash of slightly, loping across the boulevard in peripheral light accompanied the tran­ her direction. She saw it and froze in sient laser bolt. her tracks, staring. It seemed to Telrig But it hit - the right one. The beast that she should scream, but she didn't. did not die at once but stopped in the Maybe she was too scared. She said middle of a motion as if puzzled. Then, something in the lilting tongue of Syl­ with a bellow of renewed intensity, it vanne; with an effort, Telrig translated began tearing at the girl again. Telrig, her words as, "Don't come any closer. swearing, forced himself to wait for the Please." ready light to tell him the capacitors She was afraid, all right - as well were recharged. she might be. If the beast attacked, she But before that happened, the wouldn't have a chance. bellow faded. The beast's motions be­ Slowly, Telrig drew the lasergun came slow and uncoordinated, letting from its pocket. The beast had stopped the girl pull free. in the middle of the boulevard, its gaze The beast crumpled and lay still. fixed on the defenseless girl. Its breath­ Telrig warily held the lasergun on it, ing grew heavier, a rhythmic panting but it moved no more. "Are you all that made its plates slide over each right?" he asked the girl. other with a faint scraping noise. She didn't answer. She was stand­ He looked back at the girl. Why ing still, catching her breath, staring at didn't she run7 Telrig with a strange, wide-eyed, Motion blurred at the edge of his wholly inappropriate expression. vision. The beast had become a streak, 'What's the matter?" he asked aimed at the girl, almost too fast to fol­ again. She didn't look too badly maul­ low, accompanied by a hissing bellow ed, with the possible exception of her and a pungent smell. Almost before right arm .... T elrig realized what was happening, it Abruptly, her eyes darted left. was on her. She screamed, finally, as it Then she turned and ran off in the op­ tore at her shift and her body. Telrig posite direction. saw blood .... 'Wait!" Telrig called out. He took a He swore at himself for waiting so couple of steps to follow but quickly long. Now, as they struggled, he risked realized that he was in no condition to hitting the wrong one if he fired. keep up. But if he did nothing, her death was And also that whatever had scared

Maecots 39 her should concern him, too. Another Planet Center was a huge and be­ beast7 Belatedly, he spun in the direc­ wildering maze of shining shapes, but tion of the glance that had set her off. he knew the government building they He saw nothing but a zebra-uni­ entered through a back door. He was fonned policeman. Relieved, though led on foot past an office door he re­ still confused, he deactivated his laser­ membered from his arrival formalities. gun and started to put it away. A long corridor, three flights of stairs But the policeman had his own out that left him panting. and another long and was ~inting it straight at Telrig. and tortuous corridor led them to an­ "Drop itl" the officer commanded. For other office, virtually indistinguishable an instant, Telrig was too stunned and from the first except that the door bore disoriented to comply. But the officer an unfamiliar name and a title which flicked on his aimbeam, and its tiny his sparse Sylvannese could not trans­ spot of red light danced on Telrig's late. sash .... The officer left him in a locked He dropped it. As the weapon fell waiting room for some five minutes. to the pavement with a thud, Telrig Then he re-emerged from the inner of­ spread his hands wide in a gesture of fice, led Telrig in, and left. both surrender and helplessness. Telrig found himself alone with an "You're under arrest, sir," the excessively amiable-looking bureau­ peach-faced officer announced, scoop­ crat - a big, swarthy man with a dis­ ing up the lasergun. "You'll have to arming smile that penneated his whole come with me." face and never seemed to leave, though occasionally it varied. "Ah, Ambassador Telrig," he ~e cop had a car, a little tran.t;plastic beamed from behind his big jadite bubble with two seats separated by a desk. He spoke Anglameg. "I'm pleas­ partition of the same material, that ed to meet you. Sorry the circum­ skimmed above the ground on quietly stances aren't more pleasant. I'm Raid whirring motors. He did not have a I

40 fantasy lr Science fidion like that? Telrig wondered, remember­ "What do you think happened out ing the girl, right before she bolted. there, Mr. Telrig7" No. I think not.... He said, "You even Telrig drew breath sharply. "I know me as an ambassador of the thought it was quite simple. I saved a Grand Republic - yet I find myself girl's life. That beast attacked her and I under arrest. Look, I don't know what killed it before it killed her. I expected you think I did, but it doesn't matter. I nothing in return - though a 'thank claim diplomatic immunity." you' might have been in order." He A bit of amusement showed leaned forward. "What was a thing like through I

MaiCOis 41 I

42 Fantasy • Science Fiction a life-and-death matter. pen on a world that was, superficially, 'What was needed, the Survivors so civilized. Finally he asked sullenly, reasoned, was a real danger that any­ "How was I to know about a screwball one might have to face. In some socie­ custom like that7" ties, dissatisfied individuals have in ef­ "You came," said I

MilKOIs 43 and he suddenly remembered some­ fore, and she fell in beside him, her thing else. Something back in his heels clicking lightly on the floor. "I room. was scared because the officer was The fear - most of it, anyway - there and you'd just killed my mascot. went away. The indignation, the I'd never heard of anybody doing such anger, and the contempt for a "civiliza­ a thing and I didn't know what to tion" that did such things - those all make of it. I didn't know what he'd remained. make of it, but I was afraid he might He hardly heard the rest of what somehow blame me. And, of course, I Kalonne said. He was still fuming was angry." when he was finally permitted to leave ''Angry?'' the office, walking as fast as he could "At you. For taking mine." She and thinking only of the extra lasergun • stopped and looked at him. "You don't hidden in the bottom of his suitcase. understand much of this, do you?" "No." He didn't stop. So after a very brief pause, she caught up with In his haste, he didn't even see the girl him again. 'What was I supposed to standing outside the door. But her do, damn it7 Let that monster kill voice calling out his name made him you7" stop in midstride and look back, "Yes. Only it wouldn't have, with frowning. any luck. Didn't Kalonne explain?" The frown deepened when he saw "He tried. I think." They came to a who she was. She had changed into a door and Telrig hesitated, looking out yellow culotte suit and her right arm through the glass at the shining build­ was bandaged, but there was no doubt ings and gardens. There were more about her identity. "You!" Telrig said. mascots out there, and he was unarm­ 'What are you doing here?" ed. But theoretically they weren't com­ "Hi," she said with an odd smile. mon, and he was not likely to meet an­ She was speaking Anglameg now, other before he got to his suitcase. though lightly flavored with Sylvan­ And he really had no choice. nese. "I had to talk to you. I thought He glanced around to get his bear­ they'd bring you here." ings, then stepped out into the fresh air "Your timing's uncanny," he said and started briskly toward his hotel. sourly. 'Why did you run off like The girl followed. that?" 'That's what I was afraid of," she "I was scared." She gestured at the said. "I realized while I ~as getting hall. "Don't let me hold you up. You cleaned up and bandaged that I couldn't go on as you were, and I'll walk be blamed for what happened. But you along." He started off, slower than be- would be, and I figured you must not

fantasy & Science Fiction understand our ways. I felt like I owed took some effort. "Look, I have to go you a good word if you were really in back to my hotel now. Maybe I'll see bad trouble, but since you came out I you again sometime and maybe I guess you didn't need that. But I still won't. But I have to ask you one thing. feel like I should try to explain, if Do you really believe you could have I

Mascots 45 show you things they never would and that they rode a public shuttle part­ introduce you to some real people. And way. It was the first Telrig had ridden save you a hotel bill in the bargain." here, and the first anywhere in many Telrig hesitated. It sounded like ex­ years. It only carried five other actly what he needed - the first part passengers, but he kept feeling that of it, anyway - though he could hard­ they were all staring at him - which ly imagine a less likely source of it. The might· or might not have been true. last part of her offer sounded at best, Patya must have noticed, for when questionable. 'Won't your parents they got off, she laughed and said, "I mind7" have some old glasses you can wear. "Of course not. Well, are you com- Just window glass - stage props - ing?" but they'll make you look different. "I don't even know your name." C'mon, it's right down here." "Patya." The cottage was tucked in between He hesitated several seconds more two much larger buildings. It now and then said, 'Wait here." All the stood mostly in shadow, but a stray way to his room, he marveled at his shaft of light found a strip of flowers letting himself be talked into some­ across the front of the small, grassy thing like this. It would be bad enough dooryard, and there were more flowers if the deal was just what it appeared to in boxes in the two front windows. be. It would be far worse if it was a Even after allowing for its being dwarf­ trap, a part of a plot to foil his ambi­ ed by its neighbors, the whole house tions for Sylvanne. seemed much too small for a whole And that possibility could not be family. dismissed lightly. They went in. A narrow vestibule He did not check out of the hotel. led straight back to a wall, with a win­ His name's continued presence on the dow overlooking a small courtyard. register would provide at least a sur­ Next to that was a closet-like bath­ face respectability that he might well room. Telrig saw nothing else except a need later. single large door opening off each side He almost dug the extra lasergun out of the vestibule. "This is all7 I don't un­ of his suitcase and stuck it in his pocket, derstand. You said your parents-" as he had planned. Then, for some rea­ Patya laughed. "I said they son which he couldn't explain even to wouldn't mind. Why should they7 himself, he put it back, locked the suit­ They don't live here." case, and carried it down to meet Patya. He drew away from her, startled and alarmed. "You live alone7" She She lived in a tiny cottage, not far nodded. "What happened? Did you from Planet Center, but far enough run away from home7"

46 fllnfllsy 1r Science Fiction Again she laughed. "That's silly, "Of me." He felt vaguely annoyed Mr. Telrig. How can you talk about that she had to ask. "A lot of men taking us under your imperial wing would take advantage of this situation. when you're that far from understand­ How do you know I'm not one of ing us7 No, I didn't run away. I show­ them7" ed that I could take care of myself, "Does everybody worry that much that's all. So I got my own place - where you come from7 Poor Mr. with their blessing. They're actually Telrig." rather proud of me." She opened the "Poor Patya," he mimicked. door on the left, accordion-style, to re­ "Look, you're a nice girl. I like you. veal a small but tidy parlor with a But I worry about you. Don't you couch and some crowded book-and­ have any idea what could happen to tape shelves. She went in and sprawled you, doing things like this7 I could be a casually on the couch. different kind of man than I am. I'm Telrig hung back. 'Would they still not, but you don't know me well be proud of you if I stayed here7" enough to count on that. Inviting me "Of course. Hey, come on in, will home, giving me the run of your house you7 Just put your suitcase down and with no safeguards-" make yourself at home." She patted For the first time, a bit of distance the couch. "Let's talk." appeared in her voice and face. "Oh, I He still didn't feel comfortable, but wouldn't say that, Mr. Telrig. You saw he did as she asked. He sat as far from the doors. You're sleeping behind this here as he could, but the couch was one, and I'm sleeping behind that one. small and that wasn't very far. 'That's If you tried to cross over to do any­ better," she said. "Relax. I'd offer you thing you shouldn't, you'd very soon something to eat or drink, but I don't decide it was a mistake." The warm, have a lot. Don't worry, though. I'll fix impish smile returned abruptly. "But you a good supper. Simple but nice." since you're not that kind of man, we'll He looked at her, studying her never really know, and there's no need sprightly face more closely than he had to talk about it. Right7" had time to before. Her last words "Right." Telrig found himself a lit­ seemed to fit her too well. She was so tle relieved at the clearly defined role little, so trusting, so defenseless. of the doors - and increasingly mysti­ Or was she7 fied by Patya. He would stay; his Part of him believed she was, de­ hunches said she might indeed shed spite the warnings of the experienced more light on the larger mysteries of diplomat in him that she might not be. Sylvanne. "Aren't you afraid7" he asked. But part of him still worried that "Afraid7" she was a trap.

Mascots 47 She did not act like a trap. She Whether it should or not, it did. passed the afternoon in conversation Again they rode shuttles, and a based on seemingly innocent curiosity boat on a bronzed-blue lake, and they about the Grand Republic and a seem­ strolled tiny streets he would never ingly sincere desire to share a youthful have entered alone and drank local enthusiasm for her home world - de­ beverages with people who seemingly spite, Telrig noted, the way it had just neither knew nor cared who he was. today almost killed her. She did teach She teased him about the number of him more than I

48 hntasy & Science Fiction and picnics with friends of Patya's they went on without it - to one of (who introduced him as her uncle), and the pleasantest days he could remem­ once even a birthday party in a pub ber. hung with antique fishnets. He didn't carry it the next day, Threats of mascots and conspira­ either, or the next after that. Once or cies receded toward the back of his twice he worried that he was losing mind. His days were interesting and his sight of his real reason for being here. nights restful. One morning he woke Usually he could rationalize it away - first, and the thought came to him that but not always. he was beginning to view Patya much One afternoon they lay on a grassy as the daughter he had never had - a hilltop overlooking the city, compar­ precocious daughter, unpredictable ing the images they saw in douds. and occasionally exasperating, but al­ "Jerol," she said (for though they ways bright and lovable in an entirely agreed on the nature of their relation­ daughterly way. And as such she ship, she did not like surnames or ti­ brought a quietly growing "glow" to tles), "do you still want to bring Syl­ her "father's" life. vanne into the Republic?" Occasionally she tried to get him to "Yes." He wondered idly whether do exercises so he would be prepared if he still believed that. he ever met a mascot, but he shrugged "Why7 Oh, I know what the Re­ the suggestions off. He had seen a public gets out of it - real estate, mascot; he couldn't believe that any ideas, wealth, strategic location - but unarmed human would really have a what would we get out of it7" chance if attacked, regardless of train­ The question rocked him to his ing. So he continued to rely on the re­ roots. He knew all the answers he had moteness of the threat - and mean­ been coached to give - but suddenly while tried not to think about it. they all seemed inadequate for Patya. ~----- One day, startir\g out for an out- Half-truths and slanted data were all door museum of industry and architec­ parts of a diplomat's stock in trade and ture, he forgot his camera. When kit of tools. He had lived and worked Patya reminded him, he shrugged. "I with them for his whole adult life. But can skip it one day. You know, Patya, he could not give them to her, and he you've made me feel almost like a real was dismayed to realize how little else tourist. For once, I want to just walk he had to offer. around and enjoy and not be a record­ That same evening, a beeping from ing machine." his suitcase told him that headquarters "But tourists take pictures," said wanted to talk to him on the tachyo. Patya. He half hoped the beeping would stop "Not this one," said Telrig, and before he got to it, but it didn't. "So

49 you're still alive," his chief muttered, The conversation dragged forth with a sardonic edge to his voice that too-vivid memories of the day he'd cut right through interstellar static. seen the mascot tearing at Patya, and "You haven't checked in with us for reawakened the revulsion he'd felt quite a while, Telrig. You haven't when Kalonne tried to explain. answered your hotel phone. Is some­ 'There's a ... custom," he said. "I don't thing wrong7" think I should talk about it. I have to "No," said Telrig, annoyed at the learn more." Chief's intrusion. "Nothing's wrong." Another long pause. "OK. Two "No7 Then I can expect you back days, Telrig. That's enough - and I soon, with a final report7" want results. You're hinting that you're "Maybe7" goillg to ask us to believe Sylvanne is "Maybe?" If a voice could raise undesirable7 Not after the reports eyebrows, the Chief's did, even over you've already sent. Desirability is no the tachyo. "You'd better explain, longer the issue. We want a plan of ac­ Telrig. You've been there a long time. tion. Soon." Is it time for us to move in, or isn't it7" The Chief switched off with a dis­ "I'm ... not sure. I've been doing tinct click. Telrig sat on the couch star­ more research, Chief. That's why I ing vacantly at the bookshelves and haven't been at the hotel. I've been ... wondering what hE was going to do. moving around." He hoped Patya Patya came into the room - silently, wouldn't burst in in her usual ebullient for once, leaving him alone with his fashion. thoughts. He felt farther than ever The Chief was silent for a while. from having either a clear enticement "You're hiding something, Telrig. First to draw Sylvanne into the fold or a you tell me nothing's wrong; then you solid way to make the Republic want tell me you're doing extra 'research' to keep her out. because you don't know whether we He was no longer even sure which can close this deal yet. Spill it - or do he wanted to do. you have something going on the He looked out of the comer of his side7" eye at Patya, curled up on the couch "No. No, it's not that. I'm not sure with her freckled nose in a book. He it's to the Republic's benefit to take in thought anew of that plated beast rak­ this place, now or ... I'm just not sure. ing blood from her, and shuddered. I've discovered something - a subtle poison in the people, if you will - that I'm not sure we need. Or want." sylvanniverse, she'd been saying for "A poison7 What are you talking days, was the most festive day in the about7" Sylvannese calendar, and it was the

50 Fantasy a. Science Fiction next day. From the moment she met "Night7" Telrig for breakfast, Patya bubbled "Sure. Lights ... fireworks ... music with contagious enthusiasm for the ... more than I can describe. C'mon." hours to come. Sylvanniverse, she The approach to silence as they said, was everything the parts of its moved away from the crowds was like name suggested, all focused into one a soothing balm. Finally the noises dis­ intense fling that was far more than a appeared almost entirely as Patya shut fling. the door behind them. Telrig sank with The morning and afternoon, at relief into the sofa, closing his eyes and least, seemed to bear her out. The festi­ letting her fiJI his nostrils with food val air so filled the city that they did smells - warm, homey, and not too not have to go far from home to get in­ highly spiced. Gradually he relaxed, to the whirl. Whole boulevards were and that did much to restore his strain­ closed to traffic and taken over by a ed neives and sagging spirits. He al­ joyously seething mass of buyers and most began to look forward to going sellers of food, artists and musicians, back out. dancers, inventors displaying their But relaxation and closed eyes also brainchildren, and much, much more. left his mind open to free-running im­ Several times Telrig thought that he ages, and those were unsettling. He was seeing so much today that he real­ saw again this afternoon's boisterous, ly ought to be holographing it - but carefree throngs, and he remembered he'd so lost the habit that his camera what I

51 Imagine letting a fifteen-year-old "You haven't shot this. Believe me, live alone, anyway! Jerol, it's special. If you don't take She brought dinner and they ate some of it home, you'll regret it. For with little talk, watching the reflected yourself, not your Republic." sunset through the window. As the He considered briefly. "OK. You'll sky's pinks faded from the high glass come back with me7" walls, they were replaced by a fantastic She shook her head. 'Til wait, if tJtree..dimensional webwork of lights you don't mind. It's not far and we that seemed to fill the sky. By day, Tel­ haven't hit the crowds yet. So you rig had not even noticed the apparatus won't have any trouble finding me." that produced it, but now the lights She handed him the doorkey. "I'll be were there and continually changing, right here. Take your time." with color sequences chasing each "OK. Right back." Telrig memoriz­ other up and down and around and the ed the spot and started for the house at paths themselves writhing and re­ a moderate walk. As she said, they had looping gracefully. not reached the crowds yet, but they "See7" Patya grinned, the light­ had moved perceptibly closer to the webs reflected yet again in her eyes. noise. As that faded behind him, he "Just a preview, Jerol. Ready to go grew more and more conscious of his back out7" own steps, and how alone they sound­ He hesitated only slightly. "I sup­ ed without the accompaniment of pose so." He rose and stretched. "After hers. you, Patya." Meanwhile the darkness deepened It had cooled quite a bit, and food - and the pre-dinner images stirred smells had drifted this far through the again in his mind. streets. It was not quite dark yet, but Patya's back there alone, he found the blue between building silhouettes himself thinking. In the dark, with no­ was deepening rapidly, and the light body around. What if- tracery was everywhere. It felt unreal, He wouldn't let himself finish that and Telrig found Patya's clicking foot­ thought. Foolish of me, he told himself falls beside him oddly reassuring. sternly, letting her stay there by her­ They had.gone a little more than a self. But I'm almost to the house block when she asked, "Did you bring now .... your camera?" His steps quickened steadily for the "No." rest of the way. She stopped. "You really should." Once in the house, he wasted no "I'm a tourist, now, remember? Just time getting the camera. He didn't even looking. I've already shot all the bother to check it for adequate blanks sights." before returning to the door.

52 Fantasy 6 Science Fiction But there he hesitated, for quite a The vividly remembered scent hit him few seconds. Then he returned quickly then, and a detached part of him to the suitcase, dug straight to the bot­ noted, too late, that he'd been walking tom, and transferred the spare lasergun upwind, a perfect target for something to his pocket - after checking it for a that stalked by smell. With a choked fresh charge. Then he locked the door cry, he flailed aimlessly for a moment, and started back through the darkness, unable to think of anything but his walking fast and accelerating steadily. pain and how hard that plated hide Patya was out there, alone and vul­ was. His leg crumpled again, its cloth nerable. Without weapons ... without covering soaked. He couldn't get back companions . . . without even the full up. A huge paw held him as he stared use of her recently injured arm. up, the dark sky blocked by the deeper And in the shadows, for all either blackness of a cavernous mouth from of them knew, lurked mascots. which issued overwhelming noise and He was almost running as he smell and heat. As the teeth descended, neared the end of the block, and his amid a flurry of blurred sensations, hand was in his pocket, curled tightly panic almost overcame him .. around the lasergun. He earnestly Somehow he remembered what hoped he would reach her before any­ Kalonne and Patya had told him. If he thing else did. could reach a certain spot under the Preoccupied with worry about edge of a plate .... Patya, and the light and smells and He groped with his less mangled sounds ahead, he never considered that hand, but his knowledge was theoreti­ he might be attacked. The bone-chill­ cal, not practical. He couldn't tell how ing bellow hit him at the same instant close he was to the spot. His strength as the claws on his shoulders, and he was fading as the beast continued to was prepared for neither. He was on rake at him. the ground, on his back, his breath It tossed its head with a stentorian knocked from him, before he realized hiss, trying to free itself of his groping what was happening. Automatically hand. He jerked it away, pinched by he whipped out the lasergun, but his the edge of a plate, and then couldn't tom shoulder cried out with such pain get it back under. The beast shoved that he lost his grip and the weapon him flat on his back, pinned both flew aside and vanished among dark arms, and opened its jaws even wider. bushes. He tried to break free but found no Somehow he fought his way up strength. As he realized he had lost his onto one knee. The beast, in front of chance, panic finally won. His body him now, planted a set of foreclaws in went limp, his remaining energy drain­ his chest to Pl!Sh him back down. ing itself in a scream.

Mascob "Patya!" ages and was sitting quietly beside the And then he realized, slowly and bed, as if waiting for him to wake. dimly, that the weight was no longer "Patya," he said. He was shocked by on him. The bellows and stink went the weakness of his voice. on, but they had shifted their focus - She smiled and touched his hand. and another human voice had joined "Hi." the fray. Off to Telrig's right, a flurry "You saved my life." of beast and human and cloth whirled "I know." She made it sound like a so close that sometimes their bodies confession. "I had to. I didn't want to bumped him as they fought. It seemed interfere, but you were pretty far gone. to go on for a long time. I thought you wanted me to." Finally, with a long, descending "I did. I'm very grateful, Patya. wheeze, the beast fell in an inert heap. Where I come from, we'd say I owe The sound and fury subsided. Telrig you my life." barely realized that he was still alive Her expression became very and several Sylvannese were standing serious. "Doesn't that bother you7 To around. Only one of them was close, owe your life to someone else when it and she looked somehow familiar. was entrusted to you7" But before he could figure out who "Bother me7" He thought. "Yes. It she was, consciousness sank into a does. A month ago I would have deep, black pool. thought that was a ridiculous thing to say, but it does." He tried to look straight at her, but the pain of turning He had no idea how long it was be­ his neck was too great. "When I came fore he again opened his eyes and saw, here, Patya, it was just a job. I wasn't but when he did, she was there, too. interested in learning any more about Everything else was different. He was this planet or its ways than I had to to inside a white room, lying on his back get the job done. I still don't really un­ under bright, uniform lighting. He was derstand - not completely - but I'm heavily bandaged and felt no inclina­ going to. And I've made my decision. tion to move. There was pain in A place that produces people like you several places, but it came through a has things the Republic needs, all right, softening haze of drugs. but they're not what the Republic It took a moment for things to thinks. I'm just beginning to see what focus, but then he recognized her. The they are." same girl who had saved his life, again Patya drew back slightly; bitterness in the same colorful shift - now crept into her voice. "But will we be patched - she had worn when he sav­ able to keep them, after your Republic ed hers. She also had some new band- has .•. absorbed us7"

54 Fantasy 6 Science Fiction He noticed a single small bunch of Believe me. And then I'll stay here, for flowers hanging on the wall over the the rest of my life." other side of the bed and remembered She looked at him for quite a while. where he had seen others like them - He thought he saw a quiver in her lip in Patya's dooryard. "That's not going and a mist in her eyes. At last she said, to happen," he said finally. "I need the very softly, "I wish I could believe things that are here, even though they that. But you're not thinking clearly scare me haH to death. For a while, be­ now. You're still raving from the in­ fore I opened my eyes, I was thinking juries and drugs." She stood up. '"Bye, of just deserting and staying, but I Jerol. I'll be back to see you when you can't do that. They'd just send some­ feel better - and by then you'll have body else to do my job. No, Patya, I'll changed your mind." have to stay with it long enough to She turned and walked to the door. convince them they'll get the most He tried to call after her that she was from Sylvanne not by dragging you in wrong, that he wouldn't ch~ his as a member, but by dealing with you mind, but he couldn't find his voice in as an equal." time. ''I'm touched," Patya said flatly. No matter. She'd find out eventual­ "Really. But how can you hope to con­ ly. He knew he wouldn't change. vince them of that after all you've He'd never been so sure of anything already sent back7" in his life. "I don't know. But I will, Patya. STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP. MANAGEMENT AND CIRCULATION 1. Title of Publication. THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION. 2. Date of filing. 28 Sept. 1981. 3. Frequency of issue. monthly. 3A. Annual subscription price, 515.00. 4. Location of known office of publication (not printersl P.O. Box 56, Cornwall. Conn. 06753. 5. Location of the headquarters or general business of­ fices of the publishers (not printers). P.O. Box 56. Cornwall. Conn. 06753. 6. Publisher, Edward L. Fer· man, P.O. Box 56, Cornwall, Conn. 06753. Editor. Edward L. Ferman. P.O. Box 56. Cornwall, Conn. 06753. 7. Owner. Mercury Press, Inc .. P.O. Box 56, Cornwall, Conn. 06753, Edward L. Ferman, P.O. Box 56, Cornwall, Conn. 06753. 8. Known bondholders. mortgagees. and other security holders owning or holding1 percent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages or other securities: none. 10. Extent and nature of circulation: A. Total No. Copies printed (net press run~ average no. copies each issue during preceding12 months: 104,001; actual number of copies of single issue published nearest to fil. ing date: 103,403. B. Paid circulation. 1. Sales through dealers and carriers. street vendors and counter sales: average no. copies each issue during preceding12 months 19.101. Sinale issue nearest to filing date 19,143. 2. Mail subscriptions: average no. copies each issue during preceding12 months 41.132. Single issue nearest to filing date 45,525 C. Total paid circulation: average no. copies each issue during preceding12 months 60,233. Sinale issue nearest to filing date 64,668. D. Free distribu· tion by mail carrier or other means, samples. complimentary, and other free copies: average no. copies each issue during preceding12 months 300. Single issue nearest to filing date 300. E. Total distribution (sum of C and D): average no. copies each issue during preceding 12 months 60,533. Single issue nearest to filing date 64,968. F. Copies not distributed, 1. Office use, left-over, unaccount· ed. spoiled after printing: average no. copies each issue during preceding 12 months 4,383 . .Single issue nearest to filing date 200. 2. Returns from news agents: averaae no. copies each issue during preceding12 months 39,085. Single issue nearest to filing date 38.235. G. Total (sum of E & F - should equal net press run shown in A): average no. copies each issue during preceding 12 months 104,001. Single issue nearest to filing date 103,403. I certify that the statements made by me above are correct and complete. Edward L. Ferman, Editor. 55 Here, one year after Susan Petrey's death, is the first of four unpublished stories we have acquired thanks to the help of her family and her friend, Steve Perry. They are all stories about the Varkela healers of the Russian steppe, and this one concerns Vaylance, the brother of Spareen (who figures in "Spareen Among the Tartars," September 1979 and "Spareen Among the Cossacks," April1981). The Healer's Touch BY SUSAN C. PETREY

will no ,.._ pay you his shaggy sheepskin hat. wthe blood-price," said the Nagai Tartar "You have not healed; therefore, chieftain looking down at Vaylance we will not pay," and so saying, turned from the back of his stumpty, ewe­ his horse and rode back the way he had necked horse. A whole tribe of these come, his followers harrowing a path small, dark men had ridden over to tell through the tall grasses. The sun made him this. Wind whipped the Tartar's an ocher wound on the western hori­ baggy horsemen's trousers and hissed zon where gauzy clouds moved to through the tall feather grasses of the cover it. Russian steppe that barely brushed the Black-water fever was the cause of horses' bellies. the Nagai's refusal to pay. Oouds of Vaylance resisted an urge to wipe biting insects drifting up from the his nose on the cuff of his black I

56 Fantasy a. Science Fidion blood-payment. He turned his back on wall, polishing his saddle with a little the Nogais and ducked through the soap and oil. The leather squeaked leather door of his father's yurt, a congenially under his ministrations, dwelling of thick felt stretched over an and the smell of leather and neat's-foot umbrella-like wooden frame. He final­ oil mingled pleasantly with the sweet ly wiped his recalcitrant nose on the scent of herbs that hung from the ceil­ sleeve of his black Tartar jacket - the ing in bunches: vervain, sweet flag, last gift his mother had given to him chamomile, valerian root and willow when he had come here at age twelve, leaf. barely a frightened child, to take his "The Nogais have refused to pay apprenticeship as a Varkela shaman, us," he announced, kneeling down to leaving her to continue her practice as sit on the rug. His retractile blood­ a medium and spiritual healer in the teeth ached in his jaw from his hunger, garret seances of Petersburg. She had and he wondered what Rayorka must sent him to his father to learn the ways be feeling, for her hunger would be of his people. "For you must never for­ twice his now that her menses had get that you are Varkela," she had ad­ started. She certainly looked pale and monished him. On the steppe, life was tired. This was a dangerous time for a much different, and at first he had re­ Varkela girl - few of them survived sented the seemingly uncouth savage puberty to adulthood due to the insid­ that was his father, until he had seen ious nature of the blood-need. She was the shaman cure ills that the Petersburg a pretty one, dark-haired and dark­ doctors, with all their pills and pow­ eyed, like her two brothers. Breasts ders couldn't touch. It was then that were just beginning to form buds be­ his apprenticeship had really begun, as neath her smock. Vaylance counted he grew to respect the healing methods himself lucky to have a sister - so of his people, an old race that called many of the female children were still­ themselves Varkela, "the Children of born. As he watched, she closed,her the Night." eyes and dozed. In the darkness of the yurt Vay­ Spareen finished scrubbing the sad­ lance blinked a few times as his noctur­ dle and stood up to lug it outside, ap­ nal eyes made the transition. His half­ parently ready to talk horse-talk with sister, Rayorka, 14, was lying on the the herd. Turkish carpet. She smiled wanly and "If she's going to be sick for a beckoned him to come sit beside her. while, can I ride the sorrel mare7" he In her weakened state she could barely asked. That was Spareen for you, pre­ raise her head. His brother, Spareen, ferring horses to people. 11, small and stout, with his hair tied "Our sister may die, and all you back in a tail, was sitting along the far can think about is riding her horse. No

The Huler's Touch 57 wonder Father calls you the selfish arm away, but he insisted. one. Why don't you help me by mak­ "I have enough. I was paid yester­ ing a fire and boiling up some willow­ day." He forced the arm to her mouth leaf tea7" Vaylance gestured toward and this time she acquiesced. One of the blackened kettle that hung on a rod her thin, sharp were-teeth punctured over the fire pit. the vein and his life blood flowed into "Make fire in here on such a hot her. night?" asked Spareen. "We'll roast her He had not always had a sister. He to death. Besides, willow-leaf tea won't remembered the night, two years ago, help blood-need." when the tall, severe Cossack woman "Make the fire outside then," said had ridden into their camp with the Vaylance. 'Willow tea will at least ease slip of a girl mounted up behind. the pain in her joints." "Take back your Satan's whelp, "It seems like all we ever do is take Freneerl" She had addressed his father. care of her any more," said Spareen, "What do you mean, woman?" sullenly, reaching for the flint and steel asked Freneer, standing up, running a that hung on the yurt frame by the wrinkled hand through his long grey door. As a parting shot, he asked, "If hair, tied back with string. she wakes up, would you ask her The woman untied the girl's blouse about the mare7" strings, and ignoring her protest, peel­ Vaylance was on his feet in an in­ ed back the cloth to reveal her naked stant. chest. In the slight groove between the "Get moving, fart-makerl" He unformed breasts grew a patch of grey snatched one of the ceremonial antlers down-like fur, which diffused into from his father's gear and attacked his scant peach-fuzz over her belly. brother's retreating rump, but Spa­ "If r d fathered a child, you might reen, agile as his soul-beast, the otter, have told me, and I'd have gladly narrowly avoided the prongs and taken her," said Freneer. sprinted through the flap to safety. "I had not known she was yours Vaylance eased himself down and until now, when she began to grow lay beside his sleeping sister. He reach­ hair like your kind. If I marry her off, ed into a pocket and drew out a piece her husband will scorn her and make of cord and tied it around his upper her a laughing stock in the village." arm, causing the veins to show in the "She will be highly prized among crook of the elbow. Gently he shook us," said Freneer. -"A female -'>f the her awake and pressed his naked arm blood is always welcome." to her lips. The woman remounted and rode "Here, Ray, take from me." away, leaving them to comfort as best "No, you need it." She pushed his they could the frightened new addition sa fantasy lr Science fiction to their family. Freneer had christened anticipation. The tips of his blood­ her Rayorka, or "little treasure." Spa­ teeth began to protrude from their little reen had resented his father's new fa­ sheaths in his upper jaw. It had been a vorite, but Vaylance took her under week since the last one had come, in his protection. He knew what it was spite of what he'd told Rayorka- and like to be uprooted and replanted in a it was near time to feed their hunger strange place. He spent much time again. helping her to adapt to her new life, "He'll pay," said Spareen. "The No­ and soon she knew how to gather the gais may forsake us, but the Kalmucks right herbs for medicine, how to speak have never let us down." He was pok­ the horse's language that only the Var­ ing at a pile of brush that generated kela understand, how to quiet a fright­ more smoke than flame. ened animal or child so that one may But the Kalmuck had not come to doctor it, and how to take the payment pay. He pulled his stocky little horse to for such services in human blood. a stop, dismounted, flipping his queue Vaylance could hear the crackling over his shoulder, and began to explain of brush outside the yurt as Spareen at­ how he'd taken a fall in a marriage-day tempted to make a fire. He was watch­ horse race and said, "Leechman, I be­ ing a bead of moisture roll down the lieve the arm is broken." side of the waterskin that hung on the Vaylance drew back the wide wall to drop onto his sister's hair, sleeve of the man's jacket and saw that when Spareen called out to him: the arm was quite bruised. His probing "There's someone coming!" fingers detected a fracture. There Vaylance drew his spare, lean would be no payment from this one frame up from the rug and ducked out until he was healed up, Vaylance the door flap. It was getting dark, but thought, as he led the man into the he could easily see that a distant speck yurt, gathered a pair of splints and approached across the billowing waves began to tear the linen they kept for of grass. As the rider drew nearer Vay­ bandaging. After half an hour of deft lance identified him as a Kalmuck by maneuvering, the bone break was set. his high cheekbones, slanted oriental Vaylance yearned to press his lips to eyes, and the dark-colored knee-length the healthy arm and bleed payment in­ jacket flapping in the wind. They were to his aching vessels - but that just a nomadic people of Mongolian origin, wasn't done, not until the patient was of a later migration than the Nogais well enough to sustain the loss. He who touted themselves as descendants pressed a parcel of comfrey root into of Ghenghis Khan. the Kalmuck's hand and explained to "I hope he's coming to pay," said him how to make bone-set tea, before Vaylance, feeling his mouth water in sending him on his way.

The Healer's Touch 59 As the figure grew smaller in the a cross-legged position, he placed his distance, Vaylance could feel the pain hands so that his fingers touched in a of his unsatisfied need. It was at times steeple pose. like this that he envied Spareen, who ''I'm going to try healer's touch." did not have his teeth yet - who This was one area where his people's would not know this dark hunger for methods far outshown the Russian another two years. physicians in Moscow. Two kepar a month, a little over a "You're going to touch heal with­ pint, was all that Vaylance needed, out Father here7" asked Spareen, in­ taken a little here, a little there, from credulous. those who subscribed to the medical "Yes, I've done it before without services of his father. That was not dif­ his help - remember how I healed the ficult, for Freneer's reputation as a Cheremiss boy with brain fever?" healer was well known on the steppe. "But Father was there with you But they had not figured on Rayorka's every minute of that. I saw you with getting "the sickness," or on the your fingers fluxing one minute and Nogai's refusal to pay. Something dead the next. Father was just about to would have to be done. put out his hand and stop you, but Vaylance returned to Rayorka's somehow you managed the transition side. He was just settling down on the on your own." worn carpet when Spareen stuck his "And I couldn't have done it at all head in the door and said, 'The water without your proper singing of the boils." chant," said Vaylance, who knew that 'Take a cup and steep ten willow Spareen's objection was based in part leaves," Vaylance ordered. It was an on envy. A touch-healer was greatly old pain remedy good for headache respected among the Varkela, and and joint ailments. Spareen came in, Vaylance had begun to show signs of reached overhead and began stripping this gift at an early age. dry leaves from the trailing willow "Do you really think touch healing branches. He grabbed one of two tin will help her7" asked Spareen. "I cups that hung on pegs from the yurt thought it was only good for brain fe­ frame and slipped out-the door, return­ ver and diseases of the soul." ing quickly, clutching the steaming cup "Who knows if healer's touch by the brim. works only on the soul7" said Vay­ "By the blood, that's hot!" he ex­ lance. "Don't all diseases in some way claimed, blowing on his fingers, after affect the soul7 Look at our sister setting it down. there. Isn't her soul in pain as well as "Let the tea cool while I try a differ­ her body7" ent remedy," said Vaylance. Assuming Spareen looked at Rayorka. Her

Fantasy & Science Fiction eyes wandered unseeing beneath trans-­ "I'm sure you will, Spareen, since lucent lids. you've an exceptional talent for mis-­ 'Well ... she does look as if her soul chief, but there will be plenty of time has strayed .... " he began. for that. Now, let's get on with it, or I "Then we shall call it back," said shall summon up a ghost to make you Vaylance. 'We must at least try. She's sterile." getting weaker, and there's no telling Thus admonished, Spareen began when Father will get back. He would to sing the chant, his pure treble min­ be pleased if we put some of our train­ gling with the cricket voices in the ing to use." grass outside. Vaylance set his mind to "Or angry if we muff things up," the task. Since coming to the steppe, said Spareen. "But there's no use argu­ he had had to learn a whole other way ing with you once your mind is made of thinking. Pressing his fingertips up on something. Do you want me to lightly together and then drawing them sing the words or just hum the tune7" apart, he began to feel the pulse and "With words of course." flow of energy across the gap. The flux "What if I say it wrong and a ghost was thin and tenuous as spider silk, comes7" spanning the distance between his fin­ "Don't be silly," said Vaylance. gers like elastic thread, stretching thin "You've heard Father say it a million when he moved his hands apart, and times and sometimes even his tongue becoming a faint blue haze as he slips, but no ghost ever comes." brought them together, thickening the "I don't know," said Spareen. "Re­ field. member the old story of how the sha­ He shifted his weight so that he man Sarmance accidentally called up could touch Rayorka's forehead with the Mother of Horses, and she made one hand. Her eyes opened and the him sterile, saying, Thy seed shall blue aura of his fingertips shimmered have no issue'7" in their dark depths, but she appeared "You're a bit young to be concern­ not to see him. Spareen reached the ed about being sterile, Spareen." end of the stanza and began to croon "I don't want to take any chances," the high, keening sound that came be­ said Spareen. 'When I grow up, I want tween verses. to be able to get a child on an outblood In a low voice, Vaylance spoke to woman, like Father." the soul of his sister. He willed the Vaylance laughed at this statement. power in his fingers to reach into her Matings with humankind were often skull and placed a hand on her stom­ unproductive, and to impregnate a hu­ ach to receive the flow as it returned to man female was regarded as a sign of him. especial virility. Rayorka stirred under his touch.

The Heiller'l Touch ,, She blinked her eyes and said, "Vay­ parted through a crack in the felt sid­ lance, is it you7 Your hand feels cool, ing. Vaylance tried to follow in his and I'm so hot." mind and found himself within a dark Vaylance helped her sit up and tunnel. There was a dim light at the placed the cup to her lips, that she end and he could see the small wolf might drink the infusion. She drank trotting a ways ahead. He tried to pro­ slowly, her hands shaking as she tried ject himself in the same direction to hold the cup. Vaylance steadied her when, suddenly, a tall, gaunt, red-eyed until she got it all down. shape reared up before him. A swirling "I had the strangest dream," she fog thickened and coalesced into the said. "There was a little man mounted thin, cadaverous grey-ghost stag, trail­ on the back of a grey stag. Ohhh - ing mist like grave clothes. he's calling to me .... " "You may not pass," said the red­ "Don't listen to him, Rayorka, stay eyed stag. Small green fires played with us," Vaylance implored her, but among its antlers and skeletal ribs she slowly relaxed in his arms and was showed under its taut hide. lost to him again, "I must follow my sister," said Vay­ Vaylance knew that the grey-ghost lance. stag was the guide to the nether world, 'Where she goes, you may not fol­ the soul-beast of the shaman. He'd seen low," said the stag. "She will stay with it himself when his father had given us until you've earned blood and life to him ceremonial hashish at his initia­ sustain her. She will stay forever if you tion, but to the noninitiate, he knew do not." the stag implied approaching death. Then the image faded and Vaylance Spareen began a new verse, chant­ was next aware of someone calling his ing louder, as if he hoped by singing to name. He opened his eyes and saw the bring her back. stag again in hazy vision, blinked, and As he held her, Vaylance, in his saw that the Ieathem ancient face of his deepening trance state, saw a move­ father, Freneer, gazed at him from be­ ment at his sister's nose. A small grey neath the shaman's staghom head­ head poked out of her left nostril. He dress. Freneer reached up and removed watched as the tiny, grey wolf, soul­ the "two trees of wisdom" from his beast of his sister, carefully sniffed the head and placed it on the low altar, air and proceeded to leave the cave of made from a wooden box. the nostril, wandering down her lip, "Praise the Moon," he said, his across her chest and finally descending weathered fl!!atures cracked with lines to the floor of the yurt. The little wolf of care. "I was afraid we had lost you paused to look back at him once, pois­ to the eternal dream. You must never ed there, one paw lifted, and then de- do that without my help. Not until you

62 Fanhlsy a. Science Fiction are firmly grounded." are, he will drive a stake through your Vaylance sat up and rubbed his heart to 'save your soul,' as their per­ eyes. His mouth tasted as if he had verse religion teaches." been long asleep. "How long have I "They needn't find out what I am," been in trance?" he asked. said Vaylance. "I will keep my blood­ "For two hours I've been trying to teeth retracted to their sheaths. Every­ wake you. Spareen says you were in one will think I am just a Tartar from trance before the inoon went down." the steppes. I will not tell them that I 'What of Rayorka7" need the cure to earn blood." "She worsens. Spareen tells me the "I can see that you are determined Nogais have refused to pay us. If this is to go," said Freneer, and to Vaylance true, she will die, for without their sup­ he seemed suddenly very old and tired. port we can not expect to nurse a wo­ lines wrinkled his brow and then man through 'the sickness.' We will be smoothed, as he heaved a great sigh, as lucky to earn enough to sustain you, though setting down a heavy burden. my son." "We are an old race, and we are dying "But if we found a cure to the out," he said. "I suppose it doesn't mat­ black-water disease, then they would ter whether it happens now or a little pay us," said Vaylance. later. My blessing on you, son; may "But there is no cure," said Freneer. you stay in the land of the living." "Neither touch healing, nor herbs, nor diet, nor singing of the chant can cure black-water fever." Vaylance set out at daybreak, the "Still, there must be a way, and I time when Varkela normally settled in­ intend to find it," said Vaylance. "I will to their death-like daytime sleep. He go on a healer's quest. Perhaps there is tied a piece of black cloth over his noc­ a Russian doctor at the Cossack fort at turnal eyes to protect them and turned Groznoi who knows of a cure." Spurka, his little Turkmene mare, to­ "A Russian doctor? I've little use ward the South. On the way he told for them. Their way of healing is to her of the importance of his mission, bleed their patients nearly to death." and she gave encouragement in the "Not all of them practice bleeding," horse language, twitching an ear to said Vaylance. "Some of them produce say, "Don't worry, young master. I cures with powerful medicines. Per­ will travel quickly." haps they have one for the black-water Her smooth, swinging trot ate the fever." versts, and he began to see in the dis­ "And how would you persuade this tance the abrupt blue wall of the Cau­ doctor to help you7 For if he be of casus Mountains that terminated the Slavic race, and he finds out what you vast grassy steppe. The armies of Czar

The Haler's Touch 63 Nicholas I were at war with the fanatic usually taken from healthy members of Moslems of the mountains and the fort the family in these cases. Vaylance at Groznoi was one of the chief mili­ had savored the taste of his last pay­ tary outposts in the area. For this rea­ ment like scarlet liquor on the tongue son, Vaylance had deemed it prudent - a strapping Nogai with veins thick to approach the fort in the daylight as stems of cattail. His blood-teeth ach­ hours, that he might not be mistaken ed at the thought as he allowed himself for an enemy. If he'd figured right, he to drift in currents of sleep. Only a few would arrive in the late afternoon. minutes, he promised himself. At midday he stopped, for he was "Wake up, son of a Tartar dog!" feeling a little weak - probably the These words resounded in Vaylance's blood-need, gnawing at his vitals, he skull, and a booted foot prodded him thought - a brief rest wouldn't hurt in the gut. Vaylance sat up. With a anything. He poured himself a frothy sickening feeling, he saw that it was bowl of kumiss from the goatskin bag getting dark. He'd overslept and miss­ over his saddle bow and lapped at it ed his chance to enter the fort in day­ with his pink dog-like tongue. He was light. immediately reminded of Rayorka's An enormous Cossack grinned funny little outblood tongue, no good down at him over rows of cartridge at all for licking. Not two days ago her cases across his breast, a toothy snarl hands had milked the mare that had showing beneath a wheat-straw mus­ provided him this meal. A lump rose in tache. His blue eyes hungered like his throat and he fought back tears - waiting vultures. little sister, who mended the steppe "Get a rope on him, Ivan lvano­ owl's broken wing, will I ever see you vitch," he bellowed. 'We'll teach this again? He realized that he would need Muslim to drink vodka like a proper his wits undulled by emotion, if he ex­ Christian before we cut his balls off!" pected to carry out his mission. He A rope fell in a tangled skein on pushed Rayorka from his mind and Vaylance's legs. concentrated on the black-water fever. "Hold off, Stepan. Don't mess him It was a painful disease that left the up too much," said lvanovitch from body racked and wasted between his horse. "Maybe he's from one of the bouts of chills and fever. Discolored peaceful tribes. He has the look of the urine gave the disease its name and was steppe about him. Not like those the most serious stage of the illness. mountain devils we're after - What's And its contagion was such that no your tribe, boy7" Ivan lvanovitch Varkela leechman dared take his spe­ looked older than Stepan. On the lean cial wages until symptoms had been side, he wore his black moustache gone for several years. Payment was curved like a Turkish scimitar.

64 Fantail' lr Science Fiction "I'm Nogai," said Vaylance, trying 'We'll see how long you stick to to look as peaceable as he could. He that story." He bent down and grab­ wanted to conceal his Varkela origin bed the rope and began to loop it over from them, for the Cossacks had super­ Vaylance's arms. stitions about the people who came out Vaylance was not about to let him­ at night and drank human blood. self be trussed like a hog for the butch­ "You don't look like a Nogai," er and lashed out with one foot, catch­ boomed Stepan, giving Vaylance an­ ing the Cossack in the knee. He swung other boot in the stomach. "Get upl at Stepan's head, but only managed to Move! You're a prisoner of the Terek send the Cossack's fur-covered shapka Cossacks, and if you're smart, you'll flying. The struggle ended when tell us where the rest of the Circassian Stepan threw his full weight on Yay­ infidels you came with are hiding." lance and wrestled him to the ground. "But I'm not Circassian," Vaylance Vaylance howled his rage at being pin­ insisted. "My people are from the ned helplessly, but stopped abruptly, steppe." when he felt the tips of his were-teeth "You're too light-skinned for a begin to protrude from their little Nogai," said Stepan, fingering the fili­ niches in his upper jaw. If he sees that, gree hilt of his saber ominously. I'm done for, he thought and clamped "But he's dressed like one," said his lips firmly shut. He might have us­ Ivan. "Leave him be. The ataman ed his teeth in self-defense. A well­ won't like it if you provoke an incident placed bite could sever an artery. But with one of the. peaceful tribes." he held back. His nature was to mend "The ataman be damned! Him and wounds, not make them, and better to that blasted doctor have turned you all be a live prisoner than to have his into school boys and nursing sisters," mutilated corpse displayed as a "vam­ said Stepan. "No soft-bellied book­ pire." learning for me. I'm for rendering this Stepan flipped him onto his stomach fellow's fat, here and now." and proceeded to knot the rope about Vaylance's hope sprang up at the his hands. If they took him to the fort, word "doctor." "It's the doctor that perhaps he could persuade someone I've come to see," he cried. "You see, there to let him speak to the doctor. many members of my tribe are sick, But after the knot was tied, Stepan and we thought that he might have the seemed to have other plans. He pulled right medicine." a nine-inch

The Healer's Touch 65 to take him to the fort, at least not "Fire!" came a command. right away .... A shot broke the air and Stepan fell "You know what we do with Tar­ full length over him. Vaylance looked tar boys?" asked Stepan. up to see Ivan seated on horseback, his "First we make a fire and heat up dtusket directed at Stepan. The sharp the knife nice and hot." tang of black powder drifted on the "Stepan Grigorovitch, I will not be air. With Ivan was a sturdy, grey-hair­ party to this," said Ivan. "I wash my ed man with full red face as if he blew hands of you." through some reeded instrument, his "If you go bearing tales about me," cheeks puffed out like the rebab player said Stepan to Ivan, "I will tell what I at a Tartar wedding. know about you and Pencherevsky's "I came for . . . doctor," said Vay­ wife." lance and lapsed into unconsciousness. "If you do it will be the death of When he awoke, Vaylance found you, Stepan." Ivan rode away toward himself in a large room with rows of where the trees thickened in a snaky cots. The windows were high up and line between the hills. small, allowing little daylight, which The fire flamed up rapidly, fed with suited Vaylance's nocturnal eyes very dung and resinous sage. Soot blacken­ well. He noted that his foot pained him ed the dagger except for the tip which terribly and was swathed in white ban­ glowed like a sunset. dages. Trance was only partially suc­ I should have gone for the throat cessful, as he was not yet totally adept when I had a chance, thought Vay­ at the art. In the dimness he could see lance. Stepan knelt over him and strip­ men lying on cots about him. Some ped off one of Vaylance's felt boots. were bandaged, but many moaned and Vaylance felt the heat of the knife tossed in the grip of fever. where Stepan held it inches from his "So, you're awake, lad," a voice bared sole. A good thing his father had called to him from across the room. taught him to trance, and with a cer­ Vaylance saw what he had not noticed tain mental exercise he willed his foot before - a desk stood in one comer not to feel the pain. At one point, how­ with a battered old samovar steaming ever, when trance failed him, his nee­ on one end. The large, red-faced man dle-like blood teeth protruded full at the desk hailed him. length like fangs of some venomous "Doctor Rimsky at your service. snake in its death agony. You must answer a few questions to "Gospodeel Thou art one of the de­ satisfy my commanding officer. First mankind," cried Stepan. He crossed of all, what are you doing here and himself and raised the knife, holding it what tribe are you7" poised over Vaylance's breast. "I am Nogai," said Vaylance, "and

66 Fantasy • Science Fiction I've come to find a cure for the black­ Vaylance's bubble of hope burst - water fever. Many of our tribe are dy­ having this outblood doctor cure the ing of it and we have no medicine." Nogai would not earn blood for Ray­ Vaylance felt uncomfortable lying to orka. Somehow he would have to con­ this man. He felt a strange desire to vince this doctor to let him take the truSt this outblood doctor, but he fear­ medicine to the Nogais himself. ed the consequences. "That would be much trouble for 'Well, I think we can do something you," Vaylance ventured. "Couldn't about that," said Rimsky. you teach me the proper dosage1 In my He picked up a parcel, wrapped in family we are shamans and healers, white paper and strolled over to the cot and I have often dosed illness with where Vaylance was lying. herbal preparations. If you tell me the "Cinchona bark from the new strength of doae and when to administer world," he said, peeling off the paper it, it would save you much trouble." to reveal some brown, woody stuff. '1'm not sure I would feel right en­ "It's a specific for malaria." trusting the care of malarial patients to Vaylance touched the crumbly a shamanist. With all respect to your bark - an herbal remedy from the family, Vaylance, shamanism may be new world1 helpful in the sense that it deals with "Does it work1" he asked. the soul and religious aspects of heal­ "Very well indeed," said Rimsky. ing. but it can not be a substitute for "You see Plotinsky over there1" modem medicine." Vaylance looked. A blond Russian It angered Vaylance to have his peo­ soldier nodded to him from a bed ple's knowledge belittled in this way. across the room. He had seen his father cure illnesses "Three days ago he was in the that "modem medicine" could not. throes of fever, but you couldn't tell He'd even done a few of the more diffi­ that from looking at him now." cult soul-mending& himself. Somehow Valance agreed. The blond soldier he must earn this doctor's trust and re­ was bright-eyed - nothing of sickness spect. about him. 'Would it be all right if I went with "Will you sell me some of this bark, you on your rounds1 I'm sure I could then," Vaylance asked hopefully. learn a lot," he said. "No, because I would have to be "Now that's the sort of attitude I there to administer the proper dosage. like," said Rimsky, "love of learning. What we'll do is, I'll ride out with you Do you read, boy1 I'll set you to study as soon as you're well enough to trav­ a little surgery. until your foot heals el, and we'll put an end to the epidemic up. Can't have you walking around on among your people." blistered feet."

The Huler'a Touch 67 "I can't read yet," said Vaylance, been learned by dissection of cadavers "but I'd like to learn." His mother had - a practice forbidden by the burial taught him the Russian alphabet. rites of most of the peoples of the "There are whole other worlds in steppe. He was fascinated with the fine books," she used to say. detail in the pictures. "Whole other "Excellent," said Rimsky. "I'll send worlds in books," as his mother had one of my Cossack students to read for often told him. The surgery text was you. You'll pick up a little knowledge even more wonderful and strange, and it will be good practice for him. with names of instruments of which That reminds me - you say your fam­ he'd never heard: surgical forceps, am­ ily are shamanists - have you ever putating saws. He longed to be able to heard of a tribe called V arkela1 Sup­ read the text himself and pestered Plot­ posedly they practice medicine in ex­ insky to help him sound out the words. change for human blood." That afternoon, when he felt well Vaylance's blood turned to ice in enough to hobble around with a his veins. Should he blurt it all out? crutch, he followed Rimsky on his Make his secret known? rounds, and carefully observed his "I've never heard of them," he said, treatment of the Great Fever. hoping Rimsky would divulge a bit "It's important that malarial fever more. be caught early, before it progresses to "Probably nothing more than an­ the black-water stage," said Rimsky, other vampire legend," said Rimsky. "for then even cinchona bark will have "Still it is an intriguing proposition, is little effect - and may cause an ad­ it not?" verse reaction. "Yes, very," said Vaylance. "It "Now, then, Vaylance," he contin­ would be proof that the drinking of ued, "just to be sure we are working blood is not in all cases evil." He with the same disease, would you de­ thought the doctor looked at him a bit scribe the symptoms of this 'black­ strangely. water fever' your people suffer from." That afternoon, the young Vaylance wished he could say that Cossack, Plotinsky sat at the foot of his people didn't suffer from it at all, Vaylance's bed and read to him from a that it was an outblood disease, but he text of anatomy. Vaylance was not felt he'd better be consistent in his surprised that Russian medicine seem­ story. Dutifully he began to describe ed to know little of yin and yang, acu­ the symptoms he had observed among puncture and the flow of I

70 Fantaay lr Sdella Fiction "If I may, will you let me prepare Plotinsky came in, concern showing in the dosages today?" he asked, thinking his plump, healthy face, and said, that perhaps Rimsky would perceive "They've brought her again. She's mad that he was capable and yield the bark as a rabid dog this time." to him. Vaylance noted that Rimsky's red­ ''I'm afraid your mathematics are a faced jovial visage became a few bit naive, Vaylance, and I would have shades paler. He shook his head sadly to spend many hours to teach you and said, "There's little I can do but re­ what I can do in a few minutes for my­ strain her and give her a sleeping self," said Rimsky. draught. But tell the parents to wait It was true. Vaylance's knowledge and I'll come." of the Russian system of weights and Insanity- a disease of the soul­ measures was sadly lacking. He'd for­ this was something he understood; per­ gotten much since he'd lived with his haps if he offered his services, he could mother. His people had their own way win Rimsky' s confidence and achieve of measuring dosages, based on body his goal. weight, age, and severity of symp­ "My people know how to cure toms, but this would not help him until madness, sir," he ventured, "perhaps if he was able to translate from Dr. Rim­ you'd let me try ...." He hoped it was a sky's system to his own. simple form of madness. Spareen had "But let me at least help you," he been right. It had been mostly luck insisted. Perhaps if he learned enough, with the Cheremiss boy. If only his through watching, he could take the father were here .... precious bark and reproduce the cure But Rimsky waved him aside. himself. But that would be stealing, "There is no cure for madness, lad. It like the blood-thief who comes in the comes and goes as it wills. Would you night, leaving nothing in return. have us rattle bones and chaRt, where It was a long day, measuring dos­ modem methods fail? Get back to your ages for each patient. Every time Yay­ bed. I'll be around to see you later." lance thought he had gotten it right, Much disgruntled, Vaylance was Rimsky would point out that he had led back to the infirmary and made to forgotten to carry a figure to the tens change into his night shirt. He pulled column or had failed to convert from the voluminous garment over his grams to drachmas. He was about to clothes and disrobed under it to avoid despair of ever learning the system showing Plotinsky his furry chest, bel­ when another plan suggested itself. ly and loins. He pulled the sheets up Rimsky was cleaning up his work and feigned rest until Plotinsky left, bench and offering Vaylance to share a then crept from bed and made his .way glass of tea from the samovar when down the hallway.

The He11ler's Touch 71 He quickly covered the distance to "I know what I'm doing, Doctor," the study and stood just beyond the he said. "Do not interfere." doorway, watching the scene in the He fervently hoped that this was a next room. A young girl, her hands form of madness that would succumb tied behind her back, crouched on the to his methods and that he would floor, making low animal noises in her prove himself worthy of the respect of throat. Dr. Rimsky tried to raise her this outblood doctor. Because the girl and place her in a chair, but she had stopped screaming, all seemed screamed and fought him. Her fear­ willing to watch, spellbound, as Vay­ crazed eyes rolled wildly and she con­ lance, looking spectral in his night­ tinued to scream through clenched shirt, crossed the room, arms out­ teeth. A drool of spittle rolled down stretched and placed his hands on the her chin. A plump woman, probably sick girl's head. the girl's mother, covered her eyes and Kneeling down beside her, he be­ wept. The father put an arm around gan to sing the chant as he had heard his wife and said to Rimsky, "You see his father do so many times. If I can how it is7 We just can't control her. just bring it off, he thought, I will open She persists in these wild rages." another world to you, my outblood The girl, mewling like some doctor. Carefully, carefully he repeat­ wounded mountain panther, kicked ed the words and felt the spasms of I

72 Fantasy 6 Science Fiction moments, but it was already too late. places, but a fine new trunk was rising His own soul was trapped in the never­ where the stone had been. The gray ending tunnels of a tangled mind. ghost stag, trailing mist and grave­ "I was a fool," he thought, "to clothes, led him safely back through think I could handle a madness like this the maze, and he came to himself again with so little experience." The flat gray where he knelt, staring into the lack­ walls of the tunnel began to close in on luster eyes of the mad girl, his hands him, and he felt panic rising in his soul, on her head. He sang to her in the old for he feared this time he was indeed language and felt the flow of her brain lost to the eternal dream. In his fear he smooth out. The former jagged flux be­ cried out, and suddenly there loomed came calm as a pond with gliding up before him the bone-faced mask of swans. Finally he broke contact with the gray ghost stag with green fire his fingers and she slumped against playing through its antlers. him. He was untying her bonds when "Follow me," it said. "I will show she awoke as from a restful sleep. you the source." "Mother, Father, what is happen­ Vaylance followed the gaunt form ing?" she asked. obediently as it led deeper and deeper Immediately the girl's mother was into the convoluted turnings of the on her knees, hugging the girl to her crazed mind. Finally the corridor open­ breast. ed into a small room that must have "You might give her something to been the center of the maze. There, at eat. I imagine she's hungry," said Vay­ the middle, a huge stone crushed a lance, and thought of his own hunger. small tree that attempted to reach His veins ached hollowly and he won­ around the boulder with branches gro­ dered how long before his empty heart tesque and stunted. But the stone would cease to function and he would seemed to totally smother the young die "the dry death." Faintness 'dragged tree, repressing its natural upward him down. growth, crushing the life out of it. He was suddenly aware of Rimsky, "Remove the stone," said the stag. kneeling beside him, putting an arm Vaylance placed his shoulder around his shoulders. "Simply amaz­ against the rock and pushed vigorous­ ing," said the doctor, "I would never ly. On the third try, he dislodged it and have believed if I hadn't seen for the stone fell to the floor breaking in myself." many shards. Rimsky helped him up and he lean­ Already the young tree appeared ed on the doctor's strong arm all the more alive. New shoots began to reach way back to his bed. Rimsky took a upwards and the crooked branches to panel screen and drew it around the straighten. It was still crooked in bed to insure privacy.

The Huler'a Touch 73 'Well, lad, I'm most indebted to swipe of his pink dog-like tongue. you for what you did tonight. It seems "But how did you know what I there are things you can teach me and I was7" he asked of Rimsky. was presumptuous to assume that your "I didn't at first," said Rimsky, "but shamanism was a totally useless art." I remembered what an old l

74 Fantuy A Sdence Fiction die out within a few generations." That very day Vaylance set out "In that case, I shall entrust the with a parcel of cinchona bark in his fever bark to you with proper instruc­ saddle bags. He urged his horse to tions. But promise you'll come back travel swiftly, for he knew he carried from time to time. I'm sure we could life to the Nogais and to his sister. learn a lot from each other. You've cer­ Pausing for a brief moment to look tainly opened my eyes to the shamanis­ back on the fort, he wiped his running tic way of healing." nose on his jacket sleeve. His allergies 'When my sister is well, I will come would always plague him, he knew, back," said Vaylance. "And if I come, but a certain healing had taken place will you teach me to read and write7 I inside his own soul. With Rimsky a would like to write down the healing whole other world of friendship had ways of my people, so that a whole opened to him, and -he knew he would world of wisdom will not pass away, if be back soon. we should die out."

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The Huler's Touch 75 STAR STORIES

The death of childhood

They threaten her with exile now that they've kidnapped her. The captain throws her lions' gloves to his surly crew. Daughter of ancient disciplines she remains steadfast as a laser beam, cutting with nothing but her heart the long path to their minds.

None of their tortures move her. They despair, wanting not just cooperation but her blind, unending love, as if they were only children. The captain stands her at the port where they view her pearl-blue home.

'With one strike," he tells her, "we'll split it open." But she can't worship their groins and machines. The stolen princess raises both hands, palms facing, like a mother and father saying farewell. It isn't quite the gesture of no weapons they're used to, more like an invisible child held in balance between everyone's open hands.

The captain makes fists. He gives the order. Violet light fans out in enormous waves rocking the ship even at this distance. Her planet's blown to bits that will circle forever, a_string of sand grains expelled by the broken pearl.

76 fanhiY 6 Science fiction Your stars tomorrow

Among the suburban trees a few birds settle into the lilac summer twilight. No one would say it's dangerous here, not the mother tucking her twins in or the elder brother, the uncle, planing a long board in the basement where he's bricked in by imitation.

Slowly, we revolve all night lighted on the other side by a single star while hydrogen rampages through the universe. No one dreams it's dangerous here, not even when the massive fusion rises in gold haze each morning, or glitters at noon on glass ladders where the Board of Directors climbs.

Three pages past the hysterical headlines our horoscopes bridge toward tomorrow. How could anyone think it's dangerous here among our catalogues of stars and moons7 Nobody thinks of the flock of metal cigars homing on lounge chairs in our green yards.

- SONYA DORMAN

Coming Next Month

"Documents in the Case of Elizabeth Akeley," is the title of the unusual feature story by Richard Lupoff. Also: Gardner Dozois, Greg Benford, Alan Dean Foster and others.

Star Stories Jones (not his real name) worked for a government agency ·that was successful in reducing taxes, interest rates and inflation. As you might suspect, the agency was innovative and really tough ....

Blackmail BY GEORGE FLORANCE-GUTHRIDGE

Leg!n. old .,.,.,.. IQUing two flesh beneath the chin. Cressno's head kids like that. was lurched back, his glasses kicking Jones - not his real name; that was up against his forehead. He gagged, his so lost among aliases he sometimes for­ eyes bulged with fear. "Should have got it himself - glared down at the old thought of that before you ran down man in the wheelchair. Cressno's face that girl and the nigger on the Honda. was pasty white, his head mottled with Should have thought about a lot of age spots; only a dirty-gray horseshoe things, you shriveled rooster." remained of the hair. Fleshy, half­ "But I told you before. The brake hooded eyes were buried behind glass­ didn't work," Cressno sputtered. es as thick as bottle caps. The old man "Sure. That's why you never re­ fumbled beneath the blanket on his ported the accident." Jones let the head lap, lifted a wallet to his glasses, and, drop. His anger flared. He never had shaking uncontrollably, drew out and been able, as he'd been taught, to "stay set down bills one at a time. cool, calm, and businesslike." He grab­ "I haven't got till Christmas, Cress­ bed the blanket, shoved it against the no!" Jones snatched up the money. old man's nose. "See this, rooster7 The old man peered into the empty Looks like a kilt, doesn't itl Well, I wallet. "You said twenty-five hundred. hope it reminds you. Kilt two kids not I had three thousand in here; every­ even halfway through high school." thing I had left in the bank. What will I Laughing, he threw the blanket over live on7" Cressno's head. Jones grabbed Cressno by the loose Bowed, the blanketed figure sat

71 Fantasy 6 Science Fidion with hands clasped as Jones walked staring at her over steepled fingers. away, Jones' reflection striding before "I'm sorry. I'll try not to let it happen him in the living room's polished, par­ again." How much longer would he quet floor. The French provincial fur­ have to play the fool at these stupid niture and oriental rugs were gone. meetings! He was going to make his Frightened about mortgage payments money and get out. Three or four more after Jones had arranged to have the years should do it. Three, he decided. house refinanced up to the eighty per­ With superiors like Cupid, he couldn't cent maximum the banks would allow, stand much more without going nuts. Cressno had shipped the stuff off to Until then? Maybe he'd get lucky, and some rinky-dink auction house out in she'd be kicked upstairs with the rest of Gladstone before Jones could make those government yoyos. But the next better arrangements for a sale. Jones person in charge of the Portland had hated to see the stuff go so cheap­ operation would probably be just as ly, but there was nothing he could do bad. "Had a pickup to make." about it now. "How will I eat7" the old "This early?" man whimpered. And then: "Don't "Earlier. I stopped for breakfast af­ even have a goddamn television." terward." Jones opened his briefcase Jones thought he heard sobbing. He and pitched a wad of bills onto her hoped so. Fear and sorrow made peo­ desk. 'The old fart likes to get up with ple more pliable. He intended on up­ the chickens. I suppose he thinks it'll ping the ante. No sense someone living keep him wealthy and wise." in a house without furniture; the Or­ She frowned. "You've plotted his ganization would find a buyer for the contribution 7" place, and Jones would let Cressno With a weary sigh Jones unfolded a keep half of the remaining twenty per­ large sheet of graph paper and, cent equity. For a time, anyway. smoothing out the creases, handed it to her. Cupid the stupid. She and her idi­ otic optimum point. Government peo­ He arrived late at the office. ple were all alike; take and take and Cupid, his superior, was drumming take, and attempt to justify their her fingernails impatiently. Seated be­ hands-in-the-pockets with a bunch of hind her desk in the dingy room in the mathematics. Research each case care­ aging W alcourt Building, she lifted a fully, he'd been told. We want to cup and said icily, "My third coffee, stretch people's budgets, not break Jones. And I hate coffee." She raised a them. Get to the point! had become a penciled brow. standard joke among the collection He lowered himself into the room's agents. Well, Cupid and the whole only other chair and, his face hard, sat bunch of them could take that op-

Bladlmall 79 timum and stick it between their eyes. translated. "James T. Assistant super­ He'd pushed each optimum one and intendent of schools. He'll be taking his sometimes two graph-points further new secretary, a Ms. Judy Whatcom, than he reported, and though there to lunch. A very long lunch." had been a lot of whining and wailing, Gooey-eyed, Cupid leaned across none of the marks had climbed into the desk and gave him a conspiratorial any ovens to smell if the gas was on. grin. "Oh, I do know himl Of him, They'd survive. And he'd survive - anyway. He's supposed to be a real only much better. The difference be­ family man. How did you ever find m.'een the optimum point he used and out7" the one he turned in was gathering fat "You don't seem to undentand. I interest in a Swiss bank. didn't 'find out'; there's nothing to find "I see you've projected the sale of out - yet. I'm creating. With Ms. Cressno's house. Did you take into ac­ Whatcom's help, that is." count an eight percent commission for "You mean ... 7" our salespeople?" "Our Mr. Silbury is your typical "Why do you think the curve bells middle-aged, upper middle-clafs, over­ out near the top7" Sarcasm seeped into weight bozo with a possessive wife, his voice despite his restraint. three cars, and an overinflated house. "Oh. I see." She refolded the paper Judy Whatcom is two yean out of and, tilting back in the chair, crossed business college and could screw the her legs, lit a cigarette and blew a stripes off a zebra. Do you really think stream of smoke. "It all looks very, she'd wind up in some cheap hotel in very good." True to form, as usual. He the hope that her boss would dump his knew her act perfectly. When he arriv­ old lady and come running. alimony ed she was lauren Bacall, business­ payments and all7" Jones stuck the woman. Now she had slipped into her graph paper back in the briefcase. Bette Davis. last and wont would "Once I set up the operation on come Karen Valentine, all gooey-eyed Silbury, I'll see about getting our and hopeful. If he puked, would she money back from Ms. Whatcom, with consider it a form of applause? interest. I've got a couple of things on "And now what's on your agen­ her, too." da?" she asked. "But what you're doing with Sil­ "Got three more pickups this morn­ bury is entrapment!" ing. Then this afternoon I'll be busy "And I suppose blackmail is alms filming." for the poor. Besides, it was your pred­ "Anyone I know7" ecessor's idea. Digging up a penon's Jones thumbed through his coded past is too time-consuming and there­ appointment calendar. "Silbury," he fore expensive, he used to say; creating

10 Fantasy • Science Fiction the future is much more cost-effec­ That way he'd keep following orders. tive." Her predecessor, a bald toad Or so the theory went. Maybe the with the incredible code name of other agents were fooled, but he Gleanglum, hadn't said anything of the wasn't. If idiots like Cupid had been sort; only thought he had. A sugges­ Organization members, they'd long tion here, a dropped hint there, and ago have taken a midnight swim in suddenly Jones' idea of how to elimi­ concrete shoes. nate false leads, especially leads on "Well, let's get on about our work," people whose apparent wealth turned she said, shooing him toward the door out to be facade, had the chance of be­ with a flutter of her hand. coming SOP. Three years left. He had Three years. One hundred and ~o make them as profitable as possible. fifty-six weekly idiot-sessions. With "Didn't he tell you7" people like her running the operation, For a moment she seemed to hang it was about as likely to see the end of between puzzlement and anger. Then, the century as he was of playing in the "Oh. Certainly. Good idea." She sat NBA. He didn't intend to be around back and became Bette Davis again. when things hit the fan. She'd still be Government people. They made locked in the government cogs, shuf­ him sick. One hand never knew or fling papers and her feet and praying to cared what the other was doing. move from a GS-7 to a GS-8; that raise Things had been so much simpler dur­ would mean an extra trip to the beauty ing the first year of the blackmailing salon once every six months and, if she operation. The Organization had run it scrimped, maybe that new Lazyboy from top to bottom. Scuttlebutt insist­ rocker hubby kept mentioning. Well, ed it was a contract job for the govern­ he'd be at the Riviera. Or in Rio. Any­ ment; some new sub-branch of the where where sand was white, woman­ IRS. But like any good soldier in the flesh brown and ripe for the purchase, Organization - "good" meaning ones and IRS meant "in restful sleep." who liked living - he kept his mouth "Quickly, now." Another hand shut and did his job. Then the govern­ flutter. ment apparently decided it couldn't "Right." keep its bureaucratic hands out of a good thing. He found himself being re­ ferred to as an agent. Overseers who A ticket lay against his cracked obviously were not members of the windshield. Citation for a Citation; he Organization were brought in. Then wondered if the metermaids ever real­ there were overseers to oversee the ized the irony. He rubbed out the pen­ overseers. And what irked him most, ciling and stuck the ticket on the next they posed as Organization people. car; no sense cheating city hall out of llacluull ., necessary income. Then, ramming his pier. Taxes robbed the wallet for the car into gear, he scraped the next Common Good. Blackmail had more bumper and moved out among the immediate and personal benefits. Burnside ttaffic. Someday he'd have a Maybe some egghead in a govern­ car befitting his station. Maybe one of ment think-tank had dreamed up the those new electric Rolls everyone was scam. Maybe some congressman while raving about. he was in bed with his secretary or At the beginning of his second year valet. Jones wondered if that person of collections, he and the other soldiers had foreseen how extensive and effec­ had been told to "drive something late­ tive the thing would become. Or envi­ model; something small and inconspic­ sioned one of its most interesting rami­ uous." Why in hell should he do that7 fications: reduced court dockets had Who was more frightening to the allowed the legal system almost to marks - some scab driving a junker catch up with the backlog. And people and wearing worn:-heeled shoes, or with money might not go to prison, someone cruising in a Uncoln and but they certainly paid for their crimes. sporting (to complete the image) an im­ An excellent system. If only it was maculate pinstripe suit7 But word had turned back over to topnotch people. come down: the operation was to be People like himself. But, no, the low-keyed. No apparent connections, Cupids and Gleanglums had to ruin either actual or imagistic, with organiz­ things. Well, in three more years the ed crime. That's when he'd first begun only government he'd be concerned to suspect the operation was no longer with was the one whose laws caused strictly an Organization conb'act-job. the sun to shine and waves to lap The government was afraid of being against resort beaches. He'd stay caught with dirty hands. squeaky dean until then, even if the Suddenly many things had begun government couldn't. Maybe it was making sense to him. The govern­ natural that government grew dirtier ment's new hold-the-line attitude the larger it became; a stinking, corpu­ toward taxes, in spite of the economic lent beast wallowing in filth, releasing rebuilding after the Great Recession of dirt like shirts seen in dose-up in a '85 and the recent upsurge in defense laundry commercial. So who had the spending and HEW appropriations. right to condemn if he skimmed a little The decline in inflation and interest scum off the surface? In the meantime, rates. The much-discussed rise in he'd play the game, not arouse suspi­ church attendance. The government cion. A cheap brownstone apartment, had more money to spend, its citizens quiet evenings with Mantovani and less. A whole lot less. And in a Purcell, sometimes a Saturday-night perverse way, maybe people were hap- screw from his landlady. If he took a

82 Fantasy lr Science Fiction fall. he'd take flight- to Switzerland. the payoffs even before some weirdo Not like that simpleton Rasmeer, who had gagged her, tied her spread-eagled started shooting off his mouth despite to a hotel bed, and methodically carv­ the best efforts of certain in-the-know ed up her face with a razorblade. members of the Portland PD. The Jones parked and crossed the agent had suddenly discovered that mounds. The shrubs were spindly mixed drinks can lead to terrible hang­ seedlings bowing u\ the breeze, but the overs. Especially if one of the drinks is evergreens were lovely. The sod on the mixed with strychnine. graves, not yet settled, was cracked at the seams. Perhaps the dead were still He always enjoyed making a pick­ kicking. up from Sally Kelly. "You're looking well," he said. She had been beautiful, once. 'The hell I am." She hitched up the He wheeled beneath the arched, strap of her handbag. Her arm stuck iron latticework of The Restful Dell by away from her side slightly, as if the the River. A narrow blacktopped Jane bag impeded her from holding the arm meandered among the graves. One correctly. The elbow hadn't set right Way, an arrow-shaped sign told him. after he'd broken it. The break had One way in and no way out, if you're been her own fault. She had balked unlucky. Well, the meeting sites the - about her second payment - that was marks chose was their business; he when money had been much harder to gave them that concession, anyway. obtain, before she'd gone to work at Sally Kelly's choices, however, were a the Palace. He'd been faced with either little strange even by his standards. A exposing her secret or twisting her different cemetery for each payoff. A arm. The former, Gleanglum had couple of mourners glanced up from a decided, wasn't cost-effective. graveside service as Jones drove by. He She turned away, toward the river. wagged his fingers hello. "Last night a group of boys came into She was standing beside a Douglas the hotel. You know, roughnecking. fir in the newest section, the jacket of Wanted to see what a Pleasure Palace her blue pantsuit flapping lightly in the looked like. Fool that I am, I opened wind coming up the gentle slope from the door to see what the commotion the Willamette. In her matching hat was. Real pro, huh7 Before the manag­ and the veil she reminded him of Jackie er could throw them out, they saw me. Kennedy the day they buried Jack. Three of them .... " She made a little Tall, serene, stunning legs. Sally Kelly: choking sound. "Three of ·them were the well-dressed blackmail victim, my students." working hard to blend in with the sur­ "Maybe they didn't recognize roundings. She had worn the veil to you."

Bladuuil 13 "With my face1 Kelly Carver, they once. Jones stooped to pick up the call me. Kelly Carver, standing there bundle. Maybe the whole thing was a wearing leather garters and nipple game with her, he thought, albeit an rings." ugly one. A true masochist. "Oh, screw the kids," he said. He looked up into the barrel of a 'They won't say anything." .38 Smith and Wesson. "I did. And they won't ... for now. "I am not going back." She spoke But they'll just keep coming back. Back slowly and articulately even though and back and back. Just like you. Then she was trembling so much the gun was the truth will get out anyway, and I'll wavering before his eyes. lose my teaching credentials." He stayed in the crouch, his hand "So what if they do tell1 Work at around the money. ?lay it cool. Calm. the Palace full-time." Businesslike. "I would suggest," he "I'm not going back there. Not for said, forcing a smile, "you put that you. Not for anyone." thing away. Pull the trigger, and you'll She shuddered when he put his be working in places like the Palace the hands on her shoulders. "Just a couple rest of your life. There are people who more payments. Then our little matter know where I am every minute of the will be settled once and for all. You day. Who I'm seeing. And why." wouldn't want people to find out The gun faltered. Then she turned about your father. And don't think for it upward, toward her face. a moment the courts will forget about "Oh, my god," he blurted out. the escape just becaqse he's been a The instant he lunged for the gun good boy for thirty years. There're no he knew the move was a mistake. Per­ pardons for cop killers." haps he did it because she had once She gave a slight nod. A nod of de­ been beautiful. Or because a death was feat. She sighed, then took a pack of so cost-ineffective. The .38 exploded. bills from her purse and, without turn­ She crumpled, and he was still holding ing, dropped them behind her on the her hand, and the gun. He felt his soul ground. The money was rubber­ freeze. banded and neatly wrapped in cello­ He had heard the clicking of a phane. Gladwrap, she had told him camera.

14 Fantasy .. ScieMe Fiction THE CROWBAR IN THE CONCRETE

The very day that I was forced up against television's latest bout with fantasy, I happened to finish reading what may be the maddest literary Ar­ thurian spinoff yet, Joan Aiken's The Stolen Lake. It makes White's The Once and Future King and Mitchison's To the Chapel Perilous, both pretty dizzy, look positively sobersided. With this kind of a standard set, there is no way in the world that a dumb TV com­ edy series built around the idea of Merlin being alive and well in San Francisco and taking on a new appren­ tice is going to amuse me. Right? Not quite. Mr. Merlin is not bad. Not very good, mind you, but not bad. Not insulting to the intelligence or the fantasy material. And not overly cute, coy, or whimsical, all qualities that the purveyors of mass market fan­ tasy (Disney et al.) deem necessary for the public to accept it. (This, by the way, is based on only the first episode; series have been known to change quality drastically after their debuts.) The first episode introduced us to Max Merlin, who runs a garage in San Francisco (why San Francisco7 - its fey reputation, maybe7), Alexandria, a lady whose taste in clothing runs to white, white, and white, including a stunningly snowy fireman's outfit at one point, and Zach, the 15-year-old apprentice to be, who enters the garage on a skateboard, falls off and in doing Dnnoing by Galum Wilson Films and Television 85 so, practically demolishes the joint. don is so naive as Zach that he seems Earlier, Merlin had complained to to be a leftover from Leave It To Beav­ Alexandria, who seems to be a sort of er, but that's almost a relief after all the delivery girl for the Powers Above, smartass TV kids of the past decade; that in the good old days a man could and Elaine Joyce, indistinguishable prove himself special by pulling a from all those other blonde, busomy, sword from a stone, but nowadays, toothy ladies, wears white as well as what do They give him but a crowbar Alexandria. (Since Charlie's Angels, set in concrete. I've felt we should revive the old ex­ And so Zach, in trying to repair the pression boob tube.) damage he has wrought, pulls the To reiterate, Mr. Merlin is nothing crowbar from the concrete, and voila! earth-shaking, but its heart is in the -Merlin has found a new Arthur. right place and it made me laugh a cou­ From there on, it's classic sorcerer's ple of times. Besides, a show that dis­ apprentice time, a theme that, despite likes gum-cracking enough to send a its antiquity, can still be excruciatingly female practitioner of same soaring funny. Who can forget Harold Shea, in over the hills of San Francisco dangling what might be its first modem manifes­ by her mouth from a huge gum bubble tation, De Camp and Pratt's The In­ can't be a total loss. complete Enchanter, misplacing a deci­ The other matter to mention this mal point in his magical calculations month is also concerned with ancient and conjuring up 100 herbiverous magic loose in the modem world, but dragons? it's a very different cup of tea. I had Mr. Merlin never quite achieved missed the 1977 Australian film, The that height, but came close when Zach Last Wave, when it was first released, and his friend slip a love potion into and caught up with it recently on tele­ their dates' champagne, which then vision. This means that I may have turns pink, starts to steam, bubble and seen something different from what froth (at which point a passing woman those who saw it in a theatre had seen, says to her escort, 'Tm glad we didn't but since there was no notice of editing order that') and soon buries the entire for television, I feel fairly sure I can restaurant in an avalanche of pink talk about it without apologies. foam. It's really another old theme, mod­ The ending was a bit sticky; when em man mystically involved in magic Zach admits to having initiated the de­ from the past; this dates at least as far tergent deluge, it goes back to where back as Haggard's She. In The Last ever it came from and he wins his job Wave, it's a young Australian lawyer and his spurs. But Barnard Hughes is defending a group of aborigines charg­ nicely acerbic as Mr. M.; Clark Bran- ed with murder. It seems that they kill-

fantuy & Science fiction ed the victim because he had tampered Because of the style and the exotic na­ with their sacred objects. It also seems ture of the magic, I was never involv­ that the lawyer is the incarnation of a ed, or every really believed what I was sort of spirit whose appearance heralds seeing (the true test of a fantasy film), the end of a cycle, an end traditionally but I was held by the uncliched view of brought about by great natural disas­ Australia and the Australians (not a ters. kangaroo or a Waltzing Matilda to be The story is told with the kind of seen or heard), especially the aborig­ fragmentary visual incoherence I asso­ ines and their beliefs, and the fact that ciate with Nicholas Roeg (The Man many individual scenes were well pho­ Who Fell To Earth, Don't Look Back). tographed, written, and acted. Not to And it is the wettest movie. Almost mention the persistent curiosity as to every scene is in the rain, or there is where the next bucketful of water was water coming at you from somewhere. coming from. When it got to a stopped bathtub pour­ ing water down the stairs, I'm afraid all New on videotape .. . The Day the I could think of was the equally silly Earth Caught Fire, a neat little British mashed potatoes in Close Encounters. film from 1961, set in London after the The moisture, of course, is a precursor Earth is thrown off orbit toward the of the disaster to come. sun. It's not well enough known, and Nevertheless, I enjoyed the film. worth a day's rental.

WE TURNED DOWN THE STORY BUT COULDN'T RESIST THE COVERING LETTER

Dear Ed, I just zipped up to 1985 the other day, and found this story in an an­ thology - under my own name, too, curiously enough. Well, I liked it and decided to plagiarize myself. So I xeroxed the tale (superb office machines upwhen, by _the way) and zipped back down to old '81 and now I'm send­ ing it out to you. It first appeared in FSF, you know, according to the credits in the an tho, and I assume neither of us would dare violate the pro­ verbial Time-Space Continuum.

-JAMES ELLIOT

Films and Television 17 Phyllis Eisenstein, whose new novel. IN THE HANDS OF GLORY, was recently published by Timescape, returns with a fascinating tale about a successful young career woman and her search for what is quite literally the man of her dreams.

Nightlife BY PHYLLIS EISENSTEIN

thank, and then the long, wingless sail L""'out her power ...... ofhad flight, -· and canChicago insurance com­ and stretched, remembering the scen­ pany for being bright, efficient, and ario with a smile. Super powers again charming. She wore the right clothes, - deeds of strength done in secret, res-­ spoke the right words, smiled the right cued people never knowing whom to smile. Her co-workers liked and re-

.. Fantasy lr Science Fiction spected her; her superiors raised her with the time and care necessary for salary regularly. She had worked hard superior results. She ate her lavish to become the person she seemed, and evening meal in front of the television she had reaped rewards along the way set, watching an in-depth news show - a luxury condominium, jewelry, on the public station. After washing travel. all the creature comforts. But and drying the dishes and laying out none of it touched her. She was satis­ her clothes for the next day, she went fied with her days, but not happy with to bed. It was eight o'clock. She always them. went to bed at eight o'clock, if not ear­ This day was much like all the oth­ lier. Rather than spend an evening with ers. She showered and dressed quickly, the executive from the next office, grabbed a cup of coffee, and dashed rather than play bridge with the neigh­ for her train. She read a newspaper on bors, rather than watch the late movie, the way downtown, absorbed what she slept ten, eleven, twelve hours a seemed important in it, and tossed it night. And dreamed. away on entering her office. The She closed her eyes and willed her phone rang almost as soon as she sat muscles to relax, clearing her mind of down. She spent the morning dealing the day's complexities. They were as with people in a clear, smooth voice, trivial as a crossword puzzle and just as offering suggestions, alternatives, dull - merely a way to pass the time guidelines. She dictated a few letters and be well-paid for it. Dreams were for her secretary before going to a busi­ more real to Jane than reality, more ness lunch that occupied half the after­ gripping, sharper, brighter. And so she noon. With the meal, she drank the slept as much as possible, luring them sparkling water that had recently to her with an open, eager mind. Any become so popular with rising young cue could spur them. Thinking of last executives, and she returned to the of­ night's dream as she drifted off could fice sober and ready to tie up all the bring a continuation of it, a second epi­ loose ends on her desk. She hated to sode in a convoluted adventure that leave work unfinished, though she might take weeks to spin itself out, never stayed late to do it and never night after night. Or she could contem­ took any home with her. Toward 4:30, plate a fresh set of elements, perhaps the man in the next office stopped by the Arctic, Eskimos, dogsleds, furs, to ask her out for dinner; he was pleas­ and gold buried under the mountains ant, nice-looking, divorced, and unin­ east of Nome. She pulled the covers teresting. As always, Jane said no. At closer to her throat; the evening was five o'clock she went home. too cool for wintry thoughts. She pre­ She was a good cook, treating ferred the desert just now, and the sand cooking, like everything else she did, blazing hot under the high sun. The

Niahtlife desert, cactus, choUa, yucca, and the She had walked forever, or maybe horizon infinitely far away under the just a few minutes, when she saw the aystalline blue sky. riders. Distance and perspective baf­ She had fallen, she knew, out of fled her in that sun-scorched endless­ that empty sky. She lay sprawled on ness, and at first she thought they were the ground, pinned there by heat. Her grasshoppers, jack rabbits, coyotes, fingen closed on alkali sand, and sun­ anything but men on horseback. Their light seared so bright through her closed images rippled and danced with heat eyelids that she dared not open them. shimmer. And then they turned to­ She tried to roll over, but there was a ward her. The man in the lead waved. lethargy upon her, and she could bare­ She stood still as they approached, ly tum her head. Lightning had drain­ trying not to sway with the weariness ed her muscles of more than their su­ that dragged at her. They shouted, but perhuman strength. She rested, gasp­ she could not make out the words until ing at the baking air, feeling moisture they had stopped around her and being pulled from her lungs with every swung down from their mounts. And breath. then it was a jumble of voices, all At last she tried again, and with an wanting to know how she had gotten effort that stabbed her chest and made out there, so far from everywhere. She her sinews cry out. she wrenched had no answer for that, no answer she herself up on one elbow, one hip, and cared to give, and her lips were too let her head hang down. Her hair weak to form one anyway. She stared swung forward, a ~k curtain about at them, a dozen men or so, mostly her face, and so she was able to open looking like they had been out in the her eyes finally and look out at her desert too many years. Their clothes sandy prison. It rolled outward in all were sweat-stained and grimy, their directions, an undulating landscape beards weeks grown out, their eyes scattered with scrub, and in the dis­ red-rimmed and tired. They stood as if tance were purple mountains that carrying heavy packs on their shoul­ might have been real, or clouds, or just ders, and when they spoke, their mirage. Whatever they were, they voices were as dusty as their wind- and looked a thousand miles away. Jane sun-burned faces. pushed herself to her knees and then, All but one. unsteadily, to her feet. She was dressed He was young, barely more than a for the desert - boots, jeans, long­ boy, and his eyes were bright and sleeved shirt, sombrero hanging down sharp and a startling blue in his pale her back; she pulled the hat up on her face. He was tall and carried himself head and began to trudge toward the very straight, and either he shaved reg­ mountains. ularly or didn't yet need to. His voice

fAntasy • Science Fiction was a high, sweet tenor, rising clearly the boy and one other. The boy took above the rest. Jane down from his horse and carried He was very young, but it was to her into one of the cabins; the other him that Jane looked. The other men man foUowed. seemed somehow out of focus. And it The interior of the cabin was divid­ was he who stepped forward to catch ed into two rooms - eating space in her when her legs buckled, lifting her the front and a small bedroom, shut off with one arm beneath her shoulders by a thin door, in the back. She had and one behind her knees as the other expected sleeping bags on the floor, or men crowded around and stared. perhaps rough bunks against a wall, "Don't be frightened, ma'am," he and indeed there was a bedroU beside said softly. ''You're among &iends." the table in the main room. But the She let her head rest on his shoul­ back room held a real bed with steel der, her eyes half-closed. She could feel frame, springs, and a firm, sheet-cov­ the young, corded muscles beneath his ered mattress. The boy set her on it. flannel shirt as he carried her effortless­ ''You'U be all right now," he said, ly, as he lifted her to his saddle. He pulling her boots off. ''You just need climbed up behind her and held her se­ some rest." He smiled and patted her curely against him as he nudged the shoulder lightly. ''Don't you worry horse to a trot. Jane hardly felt the mo­ ma'am. We'D look after you." He turn­ tion; his arms seemed a cushion that ed away. transformed the horse into a boat glid­ She tried to reach out with one ing on calm waters. The desert reced­ hand, but she could barely raise it. ed, the heat and light and sand melting "Please don't go," she whispered. away for some timeless time. And He looked back from the doorway. looming before her eyes, his profile "We'D just be out here, me and Bob. was clean, almost delicate, with the Fixing some dinner. You hungry?" beauty of the last flush of youth. She shook her head. At last a box canyon coalesced be­ 'Well, we'll leave the door open, fore them, and they moved doWn into and maybe when you smell it cooking, it. On the canyon rim, two sentries you'D change your mind." waved their rifles, to let the dozen "Stay with me," she whispered. riders pass. "Just a minute." It was an .elaborate encampment. He hesitated, then came back to the On one side, a large corral held a few bed. In the space beside her hip, he sat. horses; on the other, a cluster of ram­ down gingerly. "Is there something I shackle cabins crowded against the can do for you, ma'am?" canyon wall. After tethering their She smiled. He was easy to smile mounts, the riders scattered, except for at, his open. boyish face bending over

NlahtJife 91 her. "No," she said. "I just wanted to She smiled. '1t was very good." say ... thank you." "The cook thanks you, ma'am. He smiled back at her, and his hand Nothing like red meat to get the blood moved to cover hers, to squeeze it moving again. You'll be up and about briefly. "No need for thanks, ma'am. in no time." Anybody would have picked up a '1 hope so." loner in the desert. Wouldn't be human "You get some rest now, ma'am. A not to." good night's sleep11 make a world of "What is this place?'' she asked. difference to you. And if you want He shrugged. "Noplace. Just where anything, don't be afraid to call; Bob we live. It hasn't got any name." and 111 be right in the other room." "Do you7" 'Thank you," she whispered. "You can call me Jack." When he was gone, she turned her "Jack. I'm Jane Bentley." face to the small window, where she "Pleased to meet you, Miss Jane." could see the red of sunset reflected on His friend Bob leaned in through the canyon wall. Scarcely a moment the doorway. "You gonna jaw with the seemed to pass before it turned to lady or cook us some dinner7" morning sunlight and she was blinking Jack stood up. "My turn to fix the sleep-gritty eyes against the brightness. food," he said apologetically. "Be right She raised a hand to rub at them and there, Bob." He looked down at Jane was surprised at the ease of that move­ for a moment. "Don't you fret, Miss ment. She flexed her fingers - still Jane. You're safe here." weak, but not the bone-deep weakness He went out, and she dozed for a of before. time. When she opened her eyes again, The door opened, and Jack came in he was sitting on the edge of the bed, a with a bowl of stew. "Sorry we can't bowl and spoon in his hands. The room offer you a proper breakfast, Miss was full of the smell of cooked meat. Jane," he said, "but we run out of "Maybe you want some stew7" he bacon and laying hens a few months said, offering the bowl. '1t's good." back." He sat on the bed and watched She sighed. Her whole body seem­ her feed herself. "See, your strength's ed made of lead. '1'm too tired to eat," coming back, just like I said it would. she said. "Maybe later." Why, pretty soon you'll be good as "Let me help you." He propped her new." up with extra pillows, and he fed her, She smiled. "I do feel better today." spoonful by spoonful, until the con­ He took the bowl when she was fin. tents of the bowl were in her stomach. ished, set it on the floor. "You know, '1 know that'll help you feel better," he we're all pretty curious about you, said. ma'am. What were you doing out in

Fantuy • Science Fiction the desert all alone1 You're not &om said. 'What about you1" these parts - we know that." "Oh, nothing so glamorous, Mils "No, I'm not," she said, manufac­ Jane. We're just prospecton. Old silver turing a quick lie. '1'm &om the East. mines hereabouts, you know. Worked From Baltimore." by the Indians, and the Spaniards after "Baltimore1" them. We're looking for gold, too, "I work for the Baltimore Sun. though we haven't found any yet." That's a newspaper. I came out West to She looked into his bright blue eyes write a series of articles on local and knew that his st~ry was a lie, a heroes." cover for something else, and she won­ "Heroes1 Precious few heroes dered if he had understood the same around here." He shook his head slow­ about hers. "Am I keeping you &om ly. "I'm amazed, ma'am; I'm truly work1" she said. '1 wouldn't want to amazed. This is tough country for an inconvenience you." Easterner. Specially a woman." "No, ma'am, that doesn't matter. I "So I discovered. My horse was don't have to work if I don't want to. frightened by a rattlesnake and threw I'm just as happy sett:inl here and pass­ me. I don't think it was actually bitten, ing the time with you." but it did run off before I could pick "Everyone else is gone then1" myself up." 'Well, no." He waved a hand negli­ 'Where were you going, ma'am1 gently. "I guess it's just not a working And where were you coming &om1 I day today. Not mining work, anyway. don't know how long you were walk­ They're fixing things - saddles and ing, but you didn't seem to be on the gear. It's got to get done sometime." way to anywhere." "They're not staying because of me, 'Well, I had a map," she said. And are they1" then she shrugged. "But I guess I got "Oh, no, ma'am, don't feel that lost pretty early on. I certainly don't way." know where I am now." She grinned at '-'1 don't want to be a burden to you him. "But I must have been on the way all. 111 be well soon, I know." to somewhere, or you wouldn't have "Sure you will. And in a few days found me." we11 ride you down to the stage line 'We were coming here, but that's and send you on to Tucson. You can nowhere sure enough. It wouldn't have go near anyplace &om there. Looking been on your map." He stared at her for your heroes." for a long inoment, and finally he She nodded. '1'd be much obliged." chuckled and said, "The Baltimore It came to her then, the truth behind Sun. Well, don't that beat all." the lie. They were searching for gold "Now you know about me," she and silver all right, but they found it

Niptllfe 93 on the Wells Fargo stage. The others fit for a kiss. It was a light kiss, just a that mold - desperate men hiding in a feathery brushing of lips, and he pulled desperate land. But Jack seemed young away first. and fresh and innocent for an outlaw. "You must be tired," he said. The brief silence that had fallen She rested her head against his over them seemed to make him uncom­ shoulder, nodding. fortable, and at last he stood up. "Can "Maybe you'd better lie down." He I get you something? Some more stew1 lifted her easily and carried her the two There's still plenty." steps to the bed. When she would have "No, thank you. But you could clung to him, he peeled her arms away give me an arm to lean on. I'd like to gently. He smiled hesitantly then kiss­ get up." ed her forehead. "There are things I "You're sure you feel strong have to do. You'll be all right while I'm enough?" gone." '1 don't know. Won't know till I "Must you go1" she murmured. try, will 11" She reached out to him "Yes." with both hands, and he caught them 'Will you be gone long1" firmly. She stood, though her knees "No, not long." He stepped away shook. "I certainly did a lot of walking from the bed. "You'll be all right." yesterday. It must have been a thou­ After he left she turned her face to sand miles, the way my muscles feel." the window, though there was nothing "Steady," he said. to see there but shadow on the canyon '1 could use a pair of crutches. But wall. She closed her eyes for a mo­ you11 just have to do for now." She ment, and when she opened them, the took a step and then another. She window had tripled in size and acquir­ swayed. ed blue curtains. She had awakened "Careful," he said, loosing her ten minutes before the alarm went off. hands to slide a supporting arm around In the shower. she tried to think of her shoulders. "Don't push yourself so where she might have seen Jack before. hard right away." He wasn't a movie star or a co-worker, "I feel foolish." She let herself lean nor a neighbor, she was sure of that. A against him. "Helpless. I'm not used to fellow commuter perhaps? She watch­ that." ed for his face as she went to work, "Give it some time, Miss Jane. watched the train and the streets, the Don't be so impatient." elevator and the corridors, but she She looked up into his face. '1'm couldn't find him. Even though he was afraid I haven't any patience at all." as clear and crisp in her memory as the She raised her fingers around the back man in the next office, she couldn't of his neck and pulled his head down place him, not even as a composite of

M FantaiiY A Science Fiction more than one person. in front of her, just out of reach. He The business day flowed by with its folded his hands across his chest. "Jane usual demands that Jane handled with Bentley," he said, "who are you?" her usual competence. But in the back She frowned. "Haven't we been of her mind, through the hours, the through this already?" desert burned, waiting. As she settled "I don't think so. I think this Balti­ down for sleep that evening, she tried more Sun business is nothing more to hold the whole of the night before in than an invention." her mind - the box canyon, the tum­ "You mean, like your gold and sil­ ble-down cabin, and Jack. Above all, ver prospecting?" Jack. His eyes narrowed. 'What do you She became aware of the mattress want here?" first, firmer than her own, and then the She leaned back on her arms. tiny room came into focus around her. 'What would you have me want, The light beyond the window was rud­ Jack?" dy - sunset. She sat up and flexed her He pointed one finger at her. muscles. She felt well, strong. She "look here, Miss Jane - there are stood and walked without difficulty. fourteen armed men out there, and She gripped the steel frame of the bed they're beginning to wonder why a and tried to dent it with her fingers, lone woman was wandering around so but it resisted. Strong she was, as close to this camp." strong as an ordinary human being, "But I told you that." but not herself yet. She wondered if "Oh, I know what you told me. But she ever would be again. How power­ that doesn't mean they believe it." ful was lightning? "Do you?" Behind her, the door opened, and He dropped his hand. "I don't think she swung around abruptly to see Jack so." .; enter. Tall and lean, he walked with 'Then why do you think I'm here?" easy grace, almost like a dancer. Three He shook his head. "Damned if I paces into the room he stopped and know, ma'am. I just know that you're looked at her intently, his expression as likely to get your head blown off - wary? Then he smiled slightly. "You real soon as anything else." must be feeling better." "Touchy bunch, aren't you? You "lam." make a habit of killing unarmed wo­ He shut the door firmly. "I want to men?" talk to you," he said. "Sit down." "Unarmed women don't make a She sat on the bed and patted the habit of looking for us." space beside her. "You too." "I wasn't looking for you, Jack." He ignored the invitation and stood She smiled slowly. "But now that I've

Niahtllfe 95 found you. I don't mind saying that "But I have." I'm glad I did." He reached for the door. "I'll see He turned away sharply, and his you in the morning; we can talk again back was rigid. "I'm trying to help then." you, Miss Jane," he said in a low voice, 'We co:uld talk now just as well." "if there's some reason for it." "We could, but I need to think. She walked up behind him and ran Nothing's simple, Miss Jane." her hand up his spine to his neck. She "I'm sorry if I've made things com­ stroked the skin just beneath his hair­ plicated for you. I didn't mean to, be­ line. "I'm truly amazed that fourteen lieve me." armed men are afraid of little me. Or is He nodded and went out. it just you that's afraid, Jack7" She lay down on the bed and He turned slowly, and when she waited as darkness feU. She thought of saw his face, it was very pale, the bril­ his fine-chiseled face and of the feel of liant eyes huge. He gripped her shoul­ his muscles beneath the flannel shirt ders, his fingers curling into the flesh and of the heat his flesh seemed to gen­ so hard that they would have hurt an erate. But in the darkness, when the ordinary woman. "Yes," he said very bedroom door opened, it was someone softly. '1'm afraid." else who came to her, who stood over "Oh, don't be," she whispered, the bed reeking of liquor. By moon­ reaching up to him. light reflected from the canyon wall, He broke away, thrust her from she recognized Bob, Jack's cabin mate. him. '1 can't protect you if I don't She opened her mouth to speak, and know who you are." he clamped a hard palm across it. His '1'm only what I seem." weight came down on her, heavy and "Then," he said, " ... what do you suffocating; he scrabbled at the waist seem?" At his sides his hands formed of her jeans. She gripped his wrist with fists. '1 wish I could make up my both hands and thrust upward, but she mind." He stared at her a long mo­ was too weak to peel that calloused ment. '1 don't think I've ever met any­ gag away. She rolled him off the bed, one like you before," he said at last. though, and they thumped to the floor She smiled. ''I'd like to think not." with Jane uppermost, aU elbows. and He shook his head. "It's a game knees and anger. He laughed and jerk­ we're playing, you know. Do you ed her sideways, slamming her head know7" apinst the floor. Lightning, she "Everything's a game, Jack, isn't thought, as the room swam around it1" her. "I wish you'd give me a straight an- And then Jack's voice came to her. swer." He was cursing, and his hands were " Fantasy 6 ScieMe Fiction ripping Bob away and flinging him He sat down on the edge of the bed across the room. They fought, tall man and patted the hand that held him. against short, sober against drunk, a "Are you afraid?" fight punctuated by grunts and by the She looked at him for a long mo­ crunch of bone and tooth and cartil­ ment. By moonlight his face was lum­ age. It ended with the younger, lighter inous, a lock of pale hair hanging one the victor, tossing Bob out of the down over his eyes. Yes, a beautiful cabin. face; the word handsome wasn't ap­ He knelt beside Jane. "Did he hurt propriate at all. 'We're all afraid of you?" something," she said. She blinked hard and focused on "The door has a lock on the inside." him. The room settled down. "Just a "That wouldn't matter if someone few bruises," she said. "And a bump really wanted to get in." on the head." "I don't think you have to worry "Damn him." Gently he lifted her about that. The others won't let Bob to the bed and gently lowered her head come back - they'll be too jealous­ to the pillow. "I should have known. I angry that he tried to do what they should have kicked him out as soon as agreed not to." we brought you here." "They agreed not to rape me?" "He was your friend, wasn't he7 "It would be poor hospitality to You couldn't very well kick a friend save your life and then rape you, don't out." you think?" 'We worke9 together. Friend is too "Except Bob didn't see it that way." strong a word. But women make a "He'd been drinking. And he was man peculiar." here, in the cabin. Too close." He She smiled weakly. "I suppose shook his head sharply. "I should have that's true. And vice versa." seen it." "Bump on your head, you said - Jane let her fingers curl into his shall I get you a cold cloth for it1" sleeve. "And what about you? You're "Now where would you find a cold right here. Aren't the others jealous of cloth around here1" you?" "There's a spring at the foot of the '1'm not doing anything to be jeal­ canyon." He straightened up, but ous of." before he could take a step, she clutch­ "No, I suppose not." She slid her ed at his arm. fingers up his arm. "Not for lack of en­ "No, don't go. It doesn't hurt." couragement, though." "Are you sure?" He looked down at her hand. "Yes. It's nothing. Please don't "They all know they can come in here leave." any time."

NIJhtllfe "Well ... that would lend things a '1 thought I was safe here." certain ... spice." He nodded. "Safe enough now. But He pulled away from her and stood you see, there's a stage comins by to­ up. "Who are you7" he whispered. morrow, the regular stage to Tucson, "Tell me straight. I have to know." and there's some question about She looked up at him, puzzled at whether we're going to put you on it or the sudden tension in his voice. "You rob it." keep asking me that. You haven't be­ "Or both," she said. lieved anything I've said, have you7" "Or both. There'd be danger then." '1 don't know what to believe. I He paced the length of the room once, want to have something to believe." twice. "You're taking the news real She propped henelf up on one el­ calmly, aren't you7 You aren't sur­ bow. "My name is Jane Bentley, and I prised." am from the East. But I don't work for She chuckled softly. "I can't im­ the Baltimore Sun." agine what else you'd be doing out here "Where in the East7" in nowhere." She felt a sudden need for truth. "And you say you're not a Pinker­ "Chicago." ton's." A long, tight silence stretched be­ '1'm not anybody's, Jack. I feU into tween them, and he was the one to this by accident, believe me." She smU­ break it at last. "Chicago. Are you ed at her choice of words. '1'm just an from Pinkerton's?" innocent bystander." "Pinkerton's?" He glanced toward the door once, "There's men in this territory he'd and then he knelt by the side of the like to lay his hands on." bed. "Listen to me, Miss Jane," he said "Pinkerton's. You mean the detec­ very quietly. ''I'm not an innocent by­ tive agency?" stander, and I'm not an outlaw. I am "I never heard of them sending out an Arizona Ranger, and I mean to get a woman, but they might." the goods on this gang. I'll protect you She shook her head. "No. I'm not a to the best of my ability. But that Pinkerton agent. I'm not." She feU back means you have to level with me and on the pillow. "Are they after you7" do exactly as I say." "No." He clasped his hands behind She looked into his eyes. "Are you his back. "Look, ma'am, I know I'm serious7" badgering you, but believe me, this is "Completely." important. You might say it's a matter She touched his shoulder tentative­ of life and death." He stared at her. "If ly, troubled by something she saw in I don't know who you are, I can't pro­ his face, though she couldn't have said tect you." what. "Look, whoever or whatever

Fanhlsy 6 Science Fiction you are, there are things I can't tell you horses were fresh, eager, and the miles about myself, and you'll just have to fled beneath their hooves. The sky was accept that. But I'm not from any law­ still dark when they reined into the enforcement agency. And I'm not any stage stop and hailed the driver, who kind of criminal. I'm here by accident. was just watering his team. The station Totally. And if you want me to coop­ master came out at their call, and the erate with you, I will. I won't help you passengers. The latter were angry at rob the stage, though." first when Jack invoked his authority "I don't expect it. How's your as a Ranger to force them to stay be­ head7" hind that day, but when they heard "All right now." about the danger, they gave in. The "Do you think you can ride7'' station master telegraphed the fort and She sat up. "Now7'' reported that the soldiers would be on He nodded. their way immediately; the stage "Sure." would not leave till their arrival, some­ 'Then let's go." time after dawn. 'Where to7" 'Won't your friends think there's "I'll tell you on the way." something wrong if the stage isn't on He knew a crevice that slanted up time7" asked Jane. the canyon wall, bypassing the sen­ Jack shook his head. "Stage isn't tries. It was a rough trail for humans, often on time. Anything can happen impossible for horses. But at the top of along the way, after all. Unexpected the bluff, two horses were waiting. He delays, breakdown, even Indians. Ger­ boosted her into the saddle. onimo himself might come up from "Okay," she said, her hands light Mexico and decide he wants some on the reins. "Where to now7" Yankee gold." 'The stage stop north of here. We They were sitting on a bench in should catch the stage before it leaves front of the station, watching the sun at dawn. We'll telegraph Fort Huach­ come up, watching for the dust of the uca from there and get a cavalry de­ soldiers' horses on the horizon. tachment to trail it." "You'll be all right here," he said to "Pulling in your net, hmm7" her. "Take the next stage to Tucson "It's time. Maybe past time. The and forget all this. Go on to whatever ride's forty miles - thinlc you can it is you're reaDy here for." make it1" She had her feet propped up on the "I can make it." hitching rail, and she was mostly By moonlight, the desert was cool, watching him while he looked east­ the saguaro like ghost sentries casting ward. "And what about you7 Where faint shadows across their path. Their do you go next1"

Niahdlfe , 'To meet my prisoners." coach in the territory." "You'll ride with the cavalry7" "Usten," she said, leaning toward "In a manner of speaking," he said. him. "Don't do this. I'd like to know 'Til take a few of them in the coach you better, and I have a feeling I won't with me, wrapped up in blankets so the be able to if you get yourself killed." uniforms don't show. The rest'll hang He slapped her arm lightly. ''Don't back, out of sight." worry about me." She frowned at him. "Isn't that a She stood up, facing away from little dangerous7 I mean, the outlaws'll him, and gripped the hitching rail with be a bit startled when they see you in­ both hands. "You're too young to do side. Don't you think they might shoot something like this. Did anybody ever first and ask questions later7" tell you that1 You're too young to be 'The soldiers and me'll be armed." an Arizona Ranger." She looked back "And outnumbered. Unless you at him over her shoulder. "You're can fit a lot more soldiers than I think throwing the future away, Jack. It's into that stage." not worth all the money on that stage." "All we have to do is hold them till He shrugged. "When Billy the Kid the others get there. We'll have enough was my age, he'd already killed twenty guns for that." men." She let her feet drop to the ground "How old are you7" and sat up. "It sounds to me like you're "Twenty." trying to get yourself killed. I never "Damn," she said. heard of a man who didn't hate a dou­ "There are lawmen younger than ble-crosser worse than a rattlesnake. me." And I have a feeling that Bob, at least, 'They're crazy, too." Her grip on would be more than happy to blow the rail tightened, and abruptly she your head off." heard the wood splinterins. She stared "And get the same himself7" down, saw her hands compressing the "People don't always think that far straight-grained rail as if it were taffy. ahead." She laid her hand on his arm. She released it, leaving her handprints "Pardon me for saying so, but I think where no human should have been this plan stinks. Why don't you just able to do so. She turned suddenly, her send the stage on through surround­ body hiding the marks of her strength. ed by cavalry7". "Let me go with you," she said. "They'll stay far away from that He laughed. kind of stage." "I'm serious. I can shoot. I'm a "At least it'll get through." damn good shot, with rifle or peace­ "Fine. What about the next one7 maker. Probably better than most of The cavalry can't escort every stage- the soldiers you'll have with you."

110 FantBy • Sd..- Flctioll "Don't be foolish," he said. peared in a cloud of dust, Jane went "You're the one who's being fool­ around to the back of the station, ish." where an arroyo hid her from other "Let me, then, and don't get in on human eyes. From there, sure of her­ it." He stood up, gestured to the east, self for the first time since lightning where dawn twilight was lighting the had struck, she swooped up into the sky. "Almost time to start." He smiled sky. down into her face. 'Wish me luck." High above the desert, she knew "Luck7 Yes, all the luck in the she must look like a bird. The stage­ world. I want to see you again. Will coach, whose path she followed, re­ you come back here afterward?" sembled a mouse to her, a mouse He shook his head. "It's on to Tuc­ crawling amid miniature sagebrush. son then, with my prisoners. There'll The soldiers, following some distance be a trial to see to." behind, were like ants. "I'll be stopping in Tucson for a She sailed through the cloudless while." daylight, far slower than her ordinary "Then maybe I'll see you there." He speed, matching the progress of the looked past her, eastward again. "Here coach; the desert was laid out beneath come the troops." her like a map, the horizons infinitely She caught him by the shoulders. '1 ' farther away than seen from the want to see you again," she said. And ground. She spotted the approaching then she locked her arms behind his outlaws before anyone below could neck and kissed him so hard their teeth have. She heard them hail the coach, a grated. He pulled back a little and he faint shout borne upward on waves of held her a moment, held her close heat. The driver pulled up. against him, and she could feel his -She struck then, not diving to blast heartbeat quicken till it was racing through the dusty group, but casting almost as fast as her own. When they cactus spines down as if they were parted at last, she whispered, "Don't thunderbolts. She threw them with forget me, Jack." perfect accuracy, and the speed they "No," he said. "I won't." He turned acquired from the fall made them away to the stage then, and boarded as deadly. Like a rain of arrows, they the soldiers arrived. splashed among the outlaws, and men She watched the coach rumble tumbled from their horses, clutching away while the passengers chattered their heads, their shoulders, their behind her and the station master chests. Puffs of smoke showed that ri­ stood with his hands on his hips, shak­ fle fire had joined the fray, most of it ing his head. He didn't think much of from the coach. The sound of gunfire, the scheme, either. As the stage disap- when it reached her ears, was staccato,

NiaJrtlife 101 growing louder as she hovered, listen­ As she lay down for sleep, she ing, watching. Growing louder and thought of Tucson, of a town rising ringing through the clean desert air like from the desert, all wooden storefronts the distant bell of an alarm clock. and clapboard houses, and tumble­ She woke groggily to find herself weed drifting through the streets. She covered with sweat. She threw the thought of horses hitched in front of blankets back, thinking that she saloons and general stores and black­ shouldn't pile so many on, not when smiths' shops; of unpaved, dusty she was dreaming about the desert. She streets and kerosene lamps; of men in washed the sweat away in the shower, Stetsons, with spurs on their boots, but could not wash away the memory and women in poke bonnets and long of the dream. She usually remembered gingham dresses. her dreams, but this one was even She thought of Jack. sharper and more vivid than normal. She stood at the window, watching Almost, she felt as if it had really hap­ the desert sun go down behind the gen­ pened, as if she had really known Jack, eral store. From the comer of her eye, the young Arizona Ranger. She she could see his parents' house, sur­ thought of him on the train all the way rounded by its white picket fence. She to work that morning and found her­ had lived next-door to them for eight self looking for him again, though she years now. knew she wouldn't find him. Perhaps Sixteen years ago, her mind had he was someone from the past, some­ heard his silent birth-cry and under­ one she went to school with, someone stood instantly that another like her she knew back when she was twenty, a had come into the world, the only lifetime ago. After work that night she other. But she was a child then, and dragged out her old high school and had to grow up before she could begin college yearbooks and searched for the long search for him. She had come him, but though she found many fa­ to Tucson at last when she was twenty miliar faces there, faces she hadn't seen and he was eight; she had known him or thought of in a dozen years and on the street, a dusty little boy playing more, his was not among them. with other dusty children. She had Tucson, she thought while eating a known, and she had bought the house leisurely dinner. She had never been to next door to his. The townspeople had Tucson, only knew it through movies marveled that so young a woman and books. It was part of the West, like could afford a house of her own, but Dodge and Amarillo and Carson City. money was never a problem for her, She wasn't even sure of exactly where not when she could drive into the sea it was. The modem city was probably and bring back the sunken treasures nothing like she imagined. of all the past to sell. Money was the

102 Fantasy lr Science Fiction least of her problems. ed up my whole strategy." She had watched him grow, watch­ "Sorry." ed him play and learn and discover "But it really was the best move." himself. She had seen him fall out of He looked up at her and smiled, and the oak tree, a fall that would have she felt a pang in her chest. How does broken bones in a normal child; she he see me, she wondered. He's growing had seen him walk away without a up so fast. limp. As nearest neighbor, she had They traded a few more moves. often looked after him while his par­ "You're trapped now," he said at last. ents were busy, and she had used those "No way out." times to introduce him to the world be­ Are there girls his own age, she yond the horizon, through books. She wondered, in the time I don't see him1 had watched over him, and she had Are there relationships I don't know waited for the right moment to tell him anything about1 Or has he realized that she knew. She had waited as he that no ordinary woman will ever be grew tall and straight. She had waited, enough? and now he was sixteen, old enough, "Yes," she said. "I think we're on and she was beginning to feel that time our way to a checkmate." She moved was passing too swiftly. Too old, she her king and then sat back in her chair thought, standing at the window in the to watch him study the board. Am I red light of sunset. Soon I'll be too old. fooling myself? Would he rather have They had been playing chess, seat­ one of them - young, fresh. Innocent. ed at right angles to each other in easy She looked down at her hands, at the chairs, and while he had been consider­ finely manicured nails. He's only six­ ing a particularly tricky move, she had teen, she thought, and her hands clos­ risen and walked across the room. ed into fists as the knot in her chest Now he called to her. ached. "Your move." "That's it," he said, making the She turned toward him. He was final move. "Care for a rematch?" lighting the lamp beside the chess­ She &hook her head. "No, I've had board, and the wavering flame threw enough chess for one night. You can his clean, crisp profile into sharp relief. put them away." She stood up and His face was beautiful. she thought, stretched. Then she moved behind his still soft with youth but promising the chair and sat on the back while he slip­ manhood to come. Beautiful; the word ped the ivory chesspieces into their handsome wasn't appropriate at all. felt-lined box. "You're beating me too She sat down, examined the board, co~istently these days," she said. and pushed a bishop over three spaces. 'We're going to have to find some He shook his head. "You just mess- other game." She let her hand slide

Niahtlife 10] across the upholstery and come to rest , "Oh - my reputation." She smiled on his shoulder. After a moment she down at him. 'Well - evil to him who began to knead the muscles at the base evil thinks. Motto of the Order of the of his neck. Garter." "That feels good," he said. "Jane7" He lifted a hand and touch­ "It's supposed to." ed hers. He closed the box on the chess­ "Yes, Jack7" pieces and twisted in his chair to look "Is it really all right, my coming up at her. "Jane, you know my mother here7" pretty well." "Of course it is. I like being with "I ought to, after all these years." you. I like it very much." She moved 'Well ... I think I have a problem from the back of the chair to its uphol­ with her." stered arm, never taking her hands "Oh7" Her other hand joined the away from him. Her palms slid to his first, and with one working on each collarbones, massaging gently, to his side of his neck, he leaned back and let shirtfront. She could feel the finn his head tilt so that he was looking at young pectoral muscles beneath the her upside down. fabric. "She says .. . I should stop coming Lightly, his hand skipped up her over here. Especially at night. She says arm to stroke her shoulder. "You it doesn't look right." know, Jane, I don't have any other Jane looked down into his bright friends like you. You're ... special." eyes. "To whom7" 'Tm glad to hear it. You're special "To everyone." to me, too." "To her, you mean." "I remember ... you used to kiss me He pursed his lips a moment. good-night a long time ago." "Yeah. To her." "Yes." 'What does your father say7" 'Why did we ever stop that7" "I haven't discussed it with him." "You grew up," she said. "You de­ "And you7" she asked, her hands cided a handshake was a more adult moving to his cheeks, to his temples, way of saying good-night." stroking softly. 'What do you think7" "My mother still kisses me." "I think ... that I'm old enough to 'Td kiss you, too, if you'd let me." make my own decisions. That's what I "I'll let you." told her." She bent over him and kissed his "She didn't take that too well, I forehead, nose, and cheek. "But not suppose7" good-night," she whispered. "Not yet. "She said ... it was your reputation It's still early." Then softly, very soft­ she was worried about." ly, she kissed his mouth.

104 Fantasy • Science Fiction He sighed. "Don't ever leave me, "And I'll always love you. I have Jane." always loved you, you know - since "Never," she said. you were eight years old." His hand reached up and cupped He looked into her face, his gaze her breast, and she gasped at the con­ penetrating - it seemed to Jane - all tact. He would have drawn back then, the way to her marrow. "No," he said. but she pressed both her hands against "You haven't loved me that long. But his, hard. With his free arm, he pulled you do now, don't you7" her into his lap. He kissed her throat, She raised a hand to his cheek, her cheeks, her lips, and the warm, troubled by his words and his eyes. moist meeting of their tongues was like She felt a tightening in her chest, and an electric shock reverberating be­ her own tears were suddenly very near tween them. They slid out of the chair the surface. Her voice was unsteady as to the deep rug that waited, like a bed, she murmured, "Yes. I do now." to receive them. He peeled her shirt She felt him shiver, and he buried away, and his, and then they were his face in her neck. "I'm so afraid that flesh to flesh, clinging, twining togeth­ I'll lose you," he whispered. "I waited er. And somehow the rug evaporated, so long for you, Jane. So long." the floor, the house, the toWn, the She stroked his fine, pale hair. desert, until they floated in a warm sea "And I've waited for you. But we're to­ of darkness, just the two of them alone gether now. There's nothing to be sad in the universe, with nothing to keep about." them apart. There was no awkward­ The telephone began to ring. Jane ness between them, only rising hunger sighed. "Probably your mother, want­ and the merging and melting of or­ ing you to come home." gasm. Jack's arms tightened around her. Afterward, the room came back in­ "Don't answer it." to sharp focus, and this time there was "I have to." a crackling fire in the hearth. In her "No, please." arms, Jack was weeping quietly. "If it is your mother, she can see the "Don't leave me, Jane," he whisper­ lights. She knows we're here. Do you ed. want her to think we're up to some­ "My darling," she crooned, rocking thing?" She smiled. "Even if we are." him gently, as if he were her child. "I'll "Please, Jane, don't answer it." never leave you." "I have to." She freed an arm from His eyes were brighter than ever in his embrace and reached out for the the firelight. "I love you, Jane," he phone. It was close by. On the table said. "I'll always love you, no matter beside her bed. what happens." Jack dissolved from her arms; the

NiPttlfe 105 fire, the rug, everything dissolved, and hands on her flesh, of his lips. He the persistent ringing was the alarm didn't even exist, and she ached for clock, announcing morning. him so much that she felt weak just For a moment, she felt disoriented. thinking about it. Her fingers clutched at the sheets, too At nine o'clock she threw herself in­ tightly. She swung an arm out at the to bed. She didn't set the alarm. clock, swept it to the floor; the impact With sleep, came the desert. The silenced it. She closed her eyes. Al­ desert on a winter's night, cold with most, she could feel his arms around moonlight and a million icy stars. her, smell his skin, taste his lips. Al­ "Jack!" she shouted, and her voice was most. When she sat up at last, she was lost in the immense flatness, absorbed crying, because it was only a dream by air and sand. "Jack7" She floated after all, and she was ashamed of those upward slowly, into the clear dark­ tears. She tore the covers back and ness, till the land was spread out be­ rolled out of bed. Work, she thought. neath her like a velvet cape. "Jack!" she Work will take my mind off the dream. shouted. "Jack, where are you7" She How stupid, how absolutely stupid to looked up at the moon, looming above feel this way about a dream. The her. "Don't take him away," she beg­ shower spray washed her tears away ged. "Oh, please don't take him and left her feeling cool and empty. He away." She shivered in that black in­ was no one. He didn't exist. finity of sky and earth. "Oh, please," She was unusually quiet that day, she whispered. "Please." She felt the and her secretary asked if she was sick. tears starting from her eyes, and freez­ She shook her head sharply. Later, the ing as they left her face, saltwater dia­ district manager noticed and suggested monds falling through the night. she go home early and get some rest, And then, from far off, like a but she refused. It was Friday, and breath of wind, she heard him calling there was too much work to clear her name. She flew toward the sound, away before the weekend. She was late and the desert swept below her till it getting home that night. And she daw­ reared into mountains. On the highest dled over dinner. peak he waited, calling to her, holding It's not that I'm afraid to go to out his arms for her. She clasped him, sleep, she told herself. and they spun slowly, weightless, kiss­ Could she bring him back to her to­ ing, weeping. night7 Or would he have vanished into "I was afraid we'd never find each the nothingness that claimed used other again," he whispered. dreams7 She was afraid to find out. "Never say that, darling," she She was afraid not to find out. She cried. "I love you. I'll always love ached for him, ached for the feel of his you."

106 Fant"IY & Science Fiction "I thought you'd forget. I thought "Jane, darling. it's a dream, but it's you'd go away." real. too. Because you and I are real." "How could I forget you, darling?" "I'm real," she murmured against "You could, " he said, holding her his neck. tighter than ever. "Oh, I've been "And so am 1," he said. "Can't you waiting so long for someone who tell1 Can't you feel it1" wouldn't forget." He kissed her neck, She held him hard, trying to match her face, her hands. "I've been so lone­ every inch of his body with her own. "I ly, Jane. The others were all just dream onJy know that when I wake up, I still people, coming and going and never want you." caring, never really caring." He search­ "Because I'm real. Don't you see7 ed her face. "But you care. I know you I'm not a dream person. I'm flesh and do. Swear it, Jane. Swear you'll never blood, like you. So many times I've forget me." met people in my dreams and thought She held his face in her hands. "Oh, they were real, and then they disap­ my dear, I could never forget you. I've peared. Just like you disappeared from been waiting, too." the cabin. The window was too small A fur-lined cradle formed about to climb out of, and I'd been watching them, cupping them together and rock­ the door, but you were gone." ing slowly in the great darkness of the 'The alarm clock rang. I woke up." sky. They clung to each other, their "Your story was so bizarre, so un­ hands moving softly, without haste. expected. Writing articles for the Balti­ "Oh, Jane," he said, his fingers more Sun. I would never have thought tracing the planes of her cheek, "we of that. I didn't manufacture that part have everything. We have the uni­ of the dream; you did. I couldn't pre­ verse." dict anything you'd say. The dream "Yes." was going in directions I couldn't con­ He kissed her throat. "But it felt trol. I thought .. . it had to mean that like nothing before I found you. I lived you had volition. That you were real. a thousand lives before I found you, And then you disappared." and they were all nothing." He looked "I didn't want to. I wanted to see into her eyes, and the moonlight struck you again." highlights in his own. "You do know," "And when I walked in later, you he said, "that this is all a dream?" were there again. For a minute I was Her hands tightened on him. "Oh, startled, and then I realized that a day Jack, don't let it be a dream. Please." had passed for you, and you were "Jane ... .'' sleeping again. Dreaming again. And "I don't want to wake up and lose you had to be real. You had to be. And you again." I was frightened, not knowing what it

Ni&htlile 107 meant. Not knowing whether to keep She shook her head against his up the charade or blot it out and con­ shoulder. "I don't know. I've never front you. I tried some, within the con­ been happy with reality. I've always text of the dream, to find out . . . who liked dreams better. But this .... Oh, you were, what you were. But when my God, Jack, Jack, I don't know what you wouldn't go along with me, I this is. Am I going crazy7" didn't have the nerve to push it. So I "No," he whispered fiercely. stayed with the Ranger and the out­ "How can we both be real7 How laws, hoping we'd meet in Tucson. can two people share a dream7" And we did, in your dream. I was so "Two people who were searching glad to find myself there. I would have for each other. Who needed each played any role to be with you again." other. How many years did you wait She stroked his back, his hair, his for me, Jane7 How many did you real­ arms. "Oh, Jack, I want to believe you; ly wait7" I do. But if I believe you and then wake She sighed. "All my life." She lifted up to find it's a lie, it'll hurt so much." her head. "Jack ... if you're real ... let's "It's true. It is!" meet while we're awake." "But I've dreamed of people night He stared into her face. He seemed after night, the same people, and it pale, paler even than the moonlight. never made them any more real. I've "No." even had the exact same dream more "Why not7" than once." 'We can't." "Darling, this is different. Can't "Are you ... so far away7 I can you feel it7" come to you. Halfway around the "I don't know. It feels so real now, world if I have to. Where are you7" you feel so real, but when I wake up, "No." you're gone." She pressed her face "Jack." against his neck. "When I'm awake, 'We can't meet, Jane. Believe me." I'm so ashamed of being in love with a "Because ... you're only a dream7 dream." Because the part of me that is pretend­ "But how do you feel now7" ing to be you knows that ... that you're "Now, I love you. Now, I know I'll not out there in the real world7" always love you. Dreams don't have to He closed his eyes and pressed his be rational." cheek against hers. "You have to trust He gripped her as tightly as she me, darling." gripped him. "You love me because "How can 17 How can I know you know I'm real. Inside, you know. you're real if I can't touch you7" You couldn't love a figment of your "You're touching me now." imagination." "That doesn't prove anything."

,. Fantuy a. Science Fiction "Does there have to be proof be­ it we'll build another. Don't spoil it tween us7 Can't we just leave -well with reality. We have something ~ enough alone7" wonderful. We can do whatever we She moved her hands across his want, be whatever we want. When back and down the finn muscles that you know you're dreaming, you're in flanked his spine. They were tense, as control. Do you want a South Sea if he were holding in some terrible se­ island paradise7 Here-" He waved a cret. "Jack ... what's the matter7" hand, and the fur-lined cradle evapor­ He shook his head. ated, leaving them lying on a beach of "Is it ... that you're married7" pure white sand. Palm trees coalesced He tilted his head back to look at around them, and she could hear the her. "You mean, in reality7" gentle lapping of surf somewhere in the She hesitated, feeling herself caught distance. "Do you want adventure7" between belief and disbelief. "Yes. I he asked. He sat up. "Look!" She sat guess I mean that." up, too, and she saw the ocean almost "No, I'm not married." at her feet, and silhouetted against the "Are you ... older than you seem7" horizon, a three-masted ship. "They'll Lightly, he kissed her lips. "How send a longboat to shore at dawn, and old do I seem to you7" we'll meet them there. Or we'll dive to "Very young." the bottom of the sea, walk in space, "I am very young. Not quite explore Mars. We can go to any place, twenty-one." any time. Together." "And I'm ... too old for you. Is that She looked into his eager face. "It it7" sounds beautiful," she said. "No." "And if we get tired of all that ex­ "I'm thirty-two." citement, we can always go back to the "I know." house in old Tucson where you watch­ "I am too old for you." ed me grow up. That other me." The "No, Jane." sand became a thick, soft rug, the low­ "But I'd seem old . .. to your par- ering moon a mellow fire, and walls ents." sprang up where palm trees had been. "I don't care what they think." 'This is your place," he said. "Your im­ "Then why can't we meet1" agination built it." "Oh, Jane." There was pain in his "Yes," she said. "This was the place voice, pain in his hands that clutched where you and I were special, the only her shoulders. "Don't ask any more. two special people in the world." Please. If we meet like this, we'll have "It's still true," he told her, and he the universe. We'll build whatever reached out to the fireplace poker. He world we like, and when we stop liking held it in both hands and slowly bent

Ni&hfllfe 109 it into a horseshoe. Solemnly, he gave this was madness, but she would not it to her, and she straightened it. "Just listen. the two of us," he said. 'We can fly." There was a good reason, a painful She tossed the poker aside and reason why he would not meet her. A wrapped her arms about him. "Be real, reason too shameful, perhaps, to talk Jack. Oh, be real for me." about. What terrible secret could she He picked her up then, as if she imagine? That he was a criminal in were a feather, and he carried her into some maximum-security prison? A the bedroom. A familiar bed was wait­ three-time loser, a rapist? A murderer? ing for them, not the one from her Was he on death row somewhere? The waking home, but the steel-framed bed thought chilled her, and she pushed it from the desert cabin. away. It was only the worst thing she "You'll have to leave me sometime could think, not the most likely. What soon," he said as he set her down. was likely? She thought back to the "Promise you'll come back. Promise." dreams they had shared, searching for "I love you," she said. "Real or a clue. There had to be a clue hidden not." there - in the desert, in the canyon, in "And you'll come back." the tiny cabin where she had recuper­ "Yes. Always." ated. They had time to make love, long, The bed? leisurely love, and then she fell asleep In three dreams she had encounter­ in his arms. ed that bed, the third time out of its or­ And woke in her own bed. The dinary place, if the cabin was its ordi­ clock said twelve, and the daylight nary place. It was an old-fashioned­ streaming through the curtained win­ looking thing. Where had she seen one dows made that noon. But the televi­ like it before? A prison movie, some­ sion, when she turned it on to catch thing with James Cagney maybe? No, some news, told her it was Sunday. those were bunk beds, with narrow, She had slept thirty-nine hours. She thin mattresses. This was something was ravenous. Over a thick ham sand­ else. But hauntingly familiar. She ran­ wich, she pondered her situation. sacked her memory. The bed was the Consideration of the question was key, she was sure of it. Sturdy steel absurd, she knew, but she decided to frame, thick, firm mattress. Where had ignore the absurdity. For the moment, she seen one like it before? she set rationality aside. Assuming she Hospital? had no doubts, assuming Jack was Hospital. real, where was he7 Why did he refuse She finished the sandwich quickly, to meet her? washed it down with a glass of milk, A comer of her brain protested that and went back to bed. As always, sleep

110 Fantail' • Science Fiction came quickly. Ever since she was a "That's all she ever does," he said. child, sleep had come quickly, even "Unless she just sits and stares. Come when her body wasn't tired. Sleep and away, Jane. You don't want to watch dreams. her." She was in control now. Though She pointed to the empty bed. she seemed to float in darkness, there "And where are you7" was a solid surface beneath her. She "Not here," he said. "Not ever conjured up a light - a fluorescent fix­ here." ture - and a pastel wall to hang it on. 'What hospital, Jack? Tell me." She summoned the bed and set it be­ "You don't want to know. I'm neath the light. Yes, hospital bed. She sorry I gave you a chance to guess this. had never noticed the bars before, the But some things . . . some things im­ bars that could be moved up like the press themselves on the memory, sides of a crib, to keep the patient from whether we want them or not." falling out. "I have to know, Jack. You must "Jack!" she called. "Jack, where are understand that. I have to know ... or you7" I'll always doubt." Only silence answered her. He turned away from her, held his "Jack, don't be afraid. I love you, head in his hands. "I don't want to no matter what. Come to me. Please. think about it. I don't want to remem­ Don't let me be here alone." ber. It's better that way, Jane, believe The sound of sobbing made her me. You just don't understand." tum around. Beside the bed a chair had She put her arms around him from materialized, but translucent, like behind and leaned her head on his mist. On the chair sat the shape of a shoulder. "Maybe I don't," she said. woman, translucent, too, her hands "But I have to know." clutching the upraised bar on the bed. He clasped her wri!fts. He was She was weeping softly. breathing hard, as if he'd run a thou­ 'Who are you?" said Jane. sand miles. "You won't leave me7" The woman seemed not to hear, "Never." did not raise her head. Jane willed her His voice was hoarse. "All right. If to become solid, but she did not. that's what you really want. I'll show "That's my mother," said Jack's you. But it's rocky trip." voice. ''I'm with you." Jane turned again, and Jack stood He nodded. "Yes." to her left, his hands clasped behind his Her universe turned upside down, back. He wore a white coat over his fa­ and her whole body jerked, as if she miliar shirt and jeans, as if he were a were a thermometer being shaken. The doctor. sun was overhead one instant and be-

Ni1htlife 111 neath her feet the next, spinning, tum­ "No. Please. It won't do any bling as she tumbled, as she slammed good." some unyielding surface again and "I have to, Jack." again. There was no pain. She felt "I'm afraid." nothing at all, only saw sun, pave­ "Of what7" ment, white line down the center, cars "Don't go." swerving with screaming brakes. Then 'What's your last name, Jack7" she was still, and the sun poured down He shook his head. on her, glinting off her helmet, her "Do I have to search the hospital wristwatch, and the dented chrome of for you7 Do I have to go through every the motorcycle that was twisted room7 Don't be stubborn, darling." around her body. She was still, and He sighed, a deep, wrenching sigh. time slowed while faces bent over her, "Elliot. John Elliot. I never . . . liked speaking words she couldn't under­ that name." stand. Eons passed there in the sun­ She made the fur-lined cradle en­ light, and finally the ambulance arriv­ velope them, and the moon and stars ed, and she was shunted inside, and brighter and warmer than they could more eons oozed by before the doors ever be from Earth. "My darling," she opened again and she was removed. said, rocking him in her arms. "You EMERGENCY EJIITRANCE. PIMA COUNIY worry too much." HOSPITAL. The double glass doors "I'm afraid, Jane. I wish you opened like a giant mouth, and then wouldn't go." she was sliding, sliding down the crea­ 'Will I find you there, Jack7 Are ture's gullet. you real7" "No more," Jack whispered. "No "I'm real!" more." And the scene faded as if a pro­ 'Then there's nothing to fear." jector lamp had burned out. Darkness He was quiet then, and they stayed was everywhere, dark nothingness like that, holding onto each other without even a star to draw the eyes, under the preternatural sky until the but Jack was there, with his arms alarm rang on Monday morning. around her, and she could feel the wet­ The first thing she did after rolling ness of his tears on her cheek. He was out of bed was dig an old road atlas shaking as with fever. out of the bottom drawer of her bur­ 'Where's Pima County7" she whis­ eau. On the map of Arizona she pered. searched for Pima County and its larg­ ''Arizona.'' est city. 'The desert." Tucson. She felt him nod. "I grew up there." She called a couple of airlines be­ "I'll go tomorrow." fore finding one that flew there. By the

112 Fantasy • Science Fiction time she had packed and phoned for a The woman's pen poised over a cab, it was late enough to call in sick at card. "And your relationship .. .1" the office. Her first sick day in three ''I'm her niece. His first cousin." years. She hesitated, then scribbled on the Tucson was not as she had dreamed card. She handed it to Jane, who it, of course. It was a Twentieth Cen­ couldn't make out the writing - ini­ tury city, full of paved streets and au­ tials, she guessed. A formal okay. tomobiles and supermarkets, and a "Room 382. Show this to the nurse at Wells Fargo stage would have looked the station, and bring it back here as incongruous there as a cactus in the when you leave. The elevator's over Arctic. She checked into the down­ there." She pointed with the pen. town Holiday Inn, dropped her bags, The third floor nurse passed her and took a cab to the hospital. The with another peculiar look. Room 382 driver let her off behind the building. was at the end of the hall. EMERGENCY. ENTRANCE. PIMA COUN­ His mother was there, the wraith­ TY HOSPITAL. woman Jane had seen, full flesh now, She stared at the sign, at those and looking very· old. She sat by the words burned into her memory by the bed, but she was staring out the win­ desert sun. She stared long and hard. dow and did not see Jane enter. Or per­ She could go home now. She had her haps she thought it was a nurse, no one proof. She could remember the stretch­ to pay attention to. er being lifted from the ambulance and Jack lay on the bed. The sidebars rolled through those double glass were up, and Jane understood now doors. She could go home now, and be why they had been excised from his sure. dream-bed. They were a symbol of his She walked all the way around the prison. Within it, he lay very still, the building and went in by the front en­ white sheet tucked close about him, his trance. The receptionist looked up ex­ arms resting limp on top of it. Behind pectantly as she aproached the desk. the bed stood a phalanx of machinery, "I'm here to see John Elliot," she and Jack was attached to it all by tubes said. in his arms, tubes in his nose, tubes The woman gazed at her with a pe­ snaking under the sheet. culiar, unreadable expression. "Are Jack. His closed eyes were ringed you ... family7" she said. with darkness, his cheeks sunken, his "Yes." lips pale. He was thin, wasted, frail, She looked through a card file. hardly a muscle left in his arms, his col­ "Someone's with him now." larbones standing out stark above the "His mother," said Jane. "She's ex­ neck of his hospital gown. Jack, sleep­ pecting me." ing, with the remnant of his young

Nlahtllfe 113 beauty wan against the white pillow. didn't move at her touch. He didn't "How is he7" Jane said. flick an eyebrow. Just above her hand, "The same," muttered his mother. the tube entered his nostrils. Was it "Always the same." She turned from forcing him to breathe? "Have they the window, and when her eyes lit on looked at his brainwaves?" the visitor, she frowned. 'Who are "Oh, yes, that's something they do you7" pretty often. He has some. And his "A friend," Jane said. "I ... heard eyes move sometimes. I've seen them. about it. I thought as long as I was go­ The doctor says it's like he's dream­ ing to be in Tucson I'd stop in. I told ing." them downstairs that I was your niece. Jane moved her hand to his arm, I apologize for that. But I had to his wasted arm whose corded muscles come." she had touched - was it only last His mother shrugged. 'There's night7 nothing to see." Her voice was tired, His mother played with a handker­ with more than body weariness. "I chief in her lap. "I suppose it's a shock come every day, and there's never any­ to you, to see him like this." thing to see." "Yes." Jane gripped the top rail on the side "Every time I see him .... " She opposite his mother. "How long has it shook her head. "I don't know why I been now7" keep coming here. It seems so 'Three years, nine months, and hopeless." She twisted the handker­ twelve days." chief. "My husband won't. He's given Her fingers tightened on the bar. up. He thinks ... he thinks John will "So long7" she murmured. "And what never wake up. He ... he's talking do the doctors say7" about asking the doctors to ... to tum 'The same as always. He might off all these things. To let John die." wake up tomorrow. He might never Jane looked up sharply. "He wake up." She passed a hand across mustn't do that!" She caught herself her forehead. "I don't understand it. I then and said in a softer, more con­ never will. I still pray. I don't know trolled voice, "Have the doctors given why." you any reason to stop hoping7" Jane laid a hand on his cheek, his "No. But none to keep hoping, cool. pale cheek. "Oh, Jack," she whis­ either. They just don't know. Are you pered. a doctor7" "Jack7" said his mother. "You must "No. No." She looked down once be a friend from school. They all called more to his sunken eyes and hollow him Jack." cheeks. "Please," she said, "may I stay "He asked me to call him that." He here a little while7 I just want to sit

114 Fantasy 6 Science Fldio~ quietly with him. I won't bother you. you more now, because I know you're Do you mind?" real. You're flesh and blood. And His mother shrugged. "Sit if you when you wake up, we can be together like. There's another chair in the cor­ all the time, not just in our dreams. I'll ner." She looked out the window move to Tucson if I have to. Or I'll again. "I sit here a lot myself. Quietly." bring you to Chicago. Or we'll go Jane pulled the chair up close to the someplace else entirely - whatever bed, leaned her head against the bars seems best." and closed her eyes. But she could not "I can't wake up," he said. sleep upright, not with the woman sit­ "But you have to. You can't stay ting so close, glancing in her direction like this." every few moments, and at last visiting "I can't. I don't know how." hours ended. She walked Jack's mother She looked into his face. "Have to her bus and then caught a cab for you tried?" the Holiday Inn. She had dinner in the "Tried?" He bent his head into the motel's restaurant and immediately af­ hollow of her neck and held her with terward went to -bed. his hands curled into claws. "Oh, I She dreamed herself back in the tried so hard. They put me under for hospital room, standing by the bed, surgery. and I never came out of it. I but this time she and the comatose knew I was dreaming. I knew it was all John Elliot were alone. He was precise­ ghosts and make believe, and I tried so ly as she had seen him, plastic tubing hard to climb out of it! And then after pouring life into his wasted body. She a while, I knew it was no use, and I had touched his cheek again, just as she to ... adjust. Jane, Jane, it was so lone­ had before. 'Wake up, Jack," she said. ly with all those dream people coming "You must wake up." and going and being puppets. They did The Jack she knew materialized out what I wanted them to do, and behind of darkness on the other side of the their eyes was nothing. Nothing. I bed. He was healthy, strong, but his could pretend to love one of them, pre­ eyes were full of pain. "Now you tend she loved me, but I always knew know." there was nothing there. It was so terri­ She nodded. "It's not so awful. bly lonely till I found you." Nothing a few calories and some exer­ She stroked his hair. 'Won't you cise couldn't mend." She came around try to wake up ... for me, Jack7" the bed and embraced him. "It's eerie, "I've tried," he whispered. "Oh, though, seeing you like that." Jane, I've tried. But ... I'm afraid." "I didn't want you to." "Of what1" "It doesn't make me love you any "After the accident. Don't you re­ less." She laughed softly. "In fact, I love member? I didn't feel anything after

Niahtlife 115 the first bounce. I didn't feel anything. When she woke, she called the hos­ I was conscious, but . . . I think my pital to locate the doctor in charge of body must be paralyzed from the neck John Elliot's case. After a great deal of down. My body. But not me." His insistent conversation with nurses, sec­ hands slid up to her shoulders, moved retaries, answering services and his stiffly there, up and down. "I can feel wife, she tracked him down. Impera­ you, Jane. I can feel you touch me. But tive, she said in her crispest, most pro­ what if I wake up and I can't?" He rais­ fessional tone, and he finally agreed to ed his shaking hands to her cheeks. see her for a few minutes after his mor­ "And what's to guarantee that we'll ning rounds. still have our dreams if I wake up7 They met in the chapel, which was What if we lose contact7 Never to feel empty at that early hour. He wore a your skin against mine. Never to make white coat with the hospital's name love to you again. How could I bear stitched over the pocket. He looked at that7 It would be . . . like dying. Oh, his watch frequently. "Now, what was Jane, we have so much now. I can't so imperative, Miss Bentley7" throw it away for a bunch of maybes." ''I'm deeply concerned about John She held him tight. "But it's such a Elliot," she said. precarious existence, Jack. What if you "Are you a relati.ve7" get pneumonia? What if ...7" She left "No, an extremely close friend." the question hanging in midair. "You've spoken to his parents7" 'They take good care of me," he "His mother." said. "Better than if I were awake. I He nodded. "She can certainly tell have a whole troop of doctors and you anything you need to know." nurses watching over me." "Doctor, I need to know his "It must be expensive for your par­ chances of ever waking up." ents." "As I said, his mother can fill you "They won't let me die just because in on his case. I really can't discuss the it's expensive." He kissed her cheek,. details with an outsider." He made a her ear. "Oh, Jane, everything's all move to stand up, but she cut it short right as it is. Leave it be." with her hand on his arm. "Jack .... " "Doctor," she said, "what if his "Dream with me forever, Jane. Just father decides to pull the plug on his dream with me." life-support equipment?" She pressed her cheek against his. He looked at her narrowly. "He'd "All right, my love. All right." She let have to go to court to do anything like the bed go, the tubing, the machinery, that." and brought back the clean desert "And if he did7" night for both of them. ''I'd recommend against it. There

116 FantiiiY 6 Science Fiction are still brainwaves. The boy's alive by She leaned toward him. "I want to medical standards." make sure John will be cared for per­ "Even with all that machinery at- manently, Doctor. No matter what tached to him7" happens. Even if I have to take over "Yes." total financial responsibility for him "It's expensive stuff, isn't it7" myself. Even if I have to go to court "If you want to put a price on life, and get myself named his legal guar­ yes, it is." dian. It would help a lot if you were on "Do you know what kind of insur­ my side." anc~ coverage the Elliots have?" He looked into her face for a long He frowned. "Don't you think you moment. 'What's your interest in this should ask them about that, Miss Bent­ case?" ley?" "I told you, I'm an extremely close "I think you must know." friend." The frown deepened. "What are "You know, I can't promise you you getting at7" that he'll ever wake up. No one can "What if John Elliot never wakes promise that." up7" "I understand, Doctor. I'm not "We can't know that. People have fooling myself on that score. Will you been in comas longer than he has and help me7" come out of them." "All right," he said. "They can use "His father seems to have given up some help. This has been rough on hope. What happens when his mother them, financially as well as emotion­ does, too7" ally. They'll appreciate . . . a philan­ He shook his head. "I can't answer thropist." He stood up. "I think we that. I don't know that their hope mat­ should talk to them, the two of us. ters one way or the other." Sometime this week? Just to straighten

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Nightlife 117 things out. You don't mind that, do carry on with her job by day, support­ you7 I've always been honest with ing the two of them. By night, they them, never hidden anything." He hes­ would be together - every night, for itated. "Unless of course you'd prefer always. And after she said that and to be anonymous." kissed him to seal the promise, he con­ "Anytime this week is fine," said jured up Mardi Gras for her, complete Jane. with costumed throngs and lavish He shook her hand. "Leave me floats and wild music, with bright your number and I'll call you." lights and dancing and laughter. It was "''m staying at the downtown Holi- all so crisp, so thoroughly realized, day Inn." that she knew he had been there once, "You're not from Tucson?" and loved it. And in the midst of the "No. Chicago." color and sound, towering over the 'Where did you know John from7" carnival, was a wedding cake three She smiled at him. "Does it matter, stories high. Doctor?" Jack scooped a blob of white frost­ He had not expected that answer, ing from the lowest tier and licked it and his confusion showed on his face. off his fingers. "''m sentimental," he "No, I suppose not. I knew him for said. "Always have been." quite a while. Since before he started They linked left hands, and on the fooling with motorcycles. He was a third finger of each a gold band coal­ good boy." esced. "Yes," said Jane. "I know." "So am I," said Jane. That night, as they drifted in the All around them, dream people starlit desert air, she told Jack her began to throw rice. plans. She would go back home and

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119 Garry Kilworth's new story concerns the human settlement of an alien ghost town that turns out to be an almost perfect environment, except for one deadly catch ....

Almost Heaven BY GARRY KILWORTH

... and we came to a low, wide roundings. We called out, once or valley with cool terraces covered in twice, thinking they might be hiding fists of fruit trees. Through the middle from us - half-expecting that they of the valley ran a green, clear river into would fall upon us with primitive wea­ which we fell in dusty hundreds, bath­ pons, since we were surely the first ing and drinking, and for the first time humans to reach the valley. By the in many months, laughing. The pack time we found the central building, animals, too, clustered at the water's with its huge pear-shaped bell, we were edge taking in long draughts of liquid reasonably sure they had gone - and bellowing their delight. The great either temporarily, or perhaps perma­ march over the Eastern Deserts was nently. over, and we had found the interior. "Ghost town," said Baker, but his As one of the forward scouts I was blue eyes kept flicking along the roof­ first upon the town. On glimpsing the tops. Finally, after inspecting most of white walls of the houses through the the dwellings, we allowed the others to evergreen, I felt a certain disappoint­ enter. Night fell and we posted sen­ ment, which was foolish really, since tries. Some camped in the streets rather the slopes had obviously been cultivat­ than violate the dwellings. I watched ed: we were not the first. There was a the domestic stock incessantly. If there strange feeling of trespassing as we were any hostile aliens, the first signs walked cautiously through the weed­ of nervousness would come from the covered empty streets. Silence is not a animals. Our watch fires picked out comfortable companion in alien sur- only shadows, and by dawn con-

120 hntuy & Science Fiction fidence had grown. Though wary, we into the empty houses and had begun were still hard from the privations of to regulate their domesticity. They no the journey. and our weapons, we longer needed scouts. The requirement knew, would be superior to any they was for tra~. farmers and herds­ would use. We had not at that time men - yes, and artists too, for there shed our colonial arrogance and still was time for appreciation once more. carried, banner-like, the bigot's belief It was a time for leisure and crafts. But in a unique righteousness. We saw it not for wandering. People had had our duty to impose our culture, not to enough of new hills, fresh plains, wide blend it with another. deserts. They wanted to rest their legs and exercise their arms. I have seen holograms in the old I had a friend, ugly as the trunk of an First City which my parents colonized: olive tree. Her name was Theloniki. t~mensional pictures of towns Baker, Thel and I were the best scouts: pocketed by hillsides on faraway we were most suited to the work, hav­ Earth. Hills around a sea called the ing those qualities necessary to ensure Mediterranean. This alien-built town the smoothest passage for the caravan. was similarly fashioned, with low We were natural navigators; were not houses fitting into the natural hollows oblivious to caution yet had an under­ of the rock and interconnected by a lying professional sense of adventure. maze of winding alleys, steps and nar­ Since Atkins went missing, Baker had row streets. From a long way off it ap­ preferred to work alone. Thel and I peared as a single amorphous, nebu­ never let each other get beyond com­ lous construction. I loved it at first municating distance - whether it was sight. It was white, cool and purpose­ sight or sound. I was the youngest, at built. twenty-seven years. Thel was nearly We were sitting outside the place twice my age. Baker fell somewhere we shared, Thel. Baker and I, watching between us. That any of us should be the sun pulling in its evening nets. I less important than we had been, or think all three of, us wished we were would ever be regarded as interesting caught in those shining meshes, and but obsolete characters of best­ were being dragged happily to the un­ forgotten times had crossed our minds known regions beyond the valley. fleetingly, if at all. We had been too "Must have been dwarfs," muttered busy reaching for the next horizon. Baker, taking a pinch of snuff and Our fall was sudden. We might as well snorting a period to his speech. have joined Atkins in his ravine, or "Like Ganty here," smiled Thel, her wherever it was that his body lay. face gathering more wrinkles than the Within a week the people had moved neck of a tortoise.

Almost Heaven 121 I shrugged, huffily. They always growing climate. It was as close to made fun of my small stature when we heaven as most of us wanted - Thel, were passing idle time. Just the way Baker and me excluded of course. The Baker and I teased Thel about her fea­ town was a bonus, albeit a suspicious tures. Thel and I never laughed at one. We knew about Greek wooden Baker though. He didn't invite humor. horses but this didn't seem to fit the "Smaller than Ganty," said Baker, case. There was nothing the aliens thoughtfully. could possibly want that we would "If such a thing was possible," add­ have, except ourselves. After the acci­ ed Thel. with less generosity. dent with the bell, which was not real­ We were speaking of the aliens that ly an accident at all, we began to get an had once owned the town. Their sin­ insight to the culture of the town's pre­ gle-storied buildings had ceilings high vious occupants. enough for our tallest people, but the On the journey I had courted a girl entrances were squat and wide. They called Sally. She was the daughter of a had left furniture of a sort which sug­ cooper, whose barrel-making was ob­ gested their anatomic proportions fell viously not a sought-after skill while into line with the shape of the door­ we were crossing deserts and moun­ ways: large concave stools and circular tains. Once in the valley however, his wooden couches worn smooth with services were very much in need; and use. whereas my own standing in the com­ 'Why'd they leave, do you think7" munity was somewhat diminished, I asked for the tenth time. Sally's father had grown in status. The The! replied, "Maybe they'll be consequence of this was, he encourag­ back. Though I doubt it. Those slopes ed another of Sally's beaus - a are at least a year overgrown. There'll carpenter named John Fennick - and be no crop this season and the my own nose was unwelcome past the pruning's late." doorjamb of Sally's new home. It was "You talk like a farmer," I mut­ not that the cooper didn't like me. It tered. was just that my prospects were zero­ "I was a farmer," snapped The!, rated. "before. Didn't like it," she added with Naturally this tum in my fortunes some asperity. - totally unexpected - was irksome So there we were, the town was a to me. I tried to see Sally secretly, but gift from an unknown race. Unknown it seemed that the gilt was peeling from to us, that is. We had a fertile valley, my image. She was more interested in more than adequate for our needs .,..- it carpentry than tales of lone pathfind­ gave our population stretching space ing. The! told me I was lucky. for several generations - and a good "You've got a head on your shoul-

122 Fantasy & Science Fiction der's boy. That girl's got mincemeat ly been imbibing at an inn during the between her ears. She'd have driven evening of his death and staggered you starin' within a year. Find some­ home with a companion just after mid­ one with brains in her head, not in her night. sewin' hand." The upper part of the town is built "Someone with a face like a Thai into the hillside on the edge of the monkey7" I retorted cruelly, more out valley, and while the Fennick place of embarrassment and chagrin than commanded a drop-away view of the malice. paved streets down to the river, and "Someone about three feet high," the terraced slopes on the far side, it she retaliated, not in the least offend­ was a cruel climb. The drystone walls, ed. with their oCcasional cool slate seats, I took my horse and rode her as were indeed well-situated to prevent hard as I could towards the end of the punishment to limb and lung. John valley, after this conversation, to try Fennick had sat on one of these while and let some of the steam out of my his friend, less able, had leaned one­ ears. I was gone two days. By the time handed against the wall further down, I got back, grimy and sunburned, John to gather his breath. Suddenly, accord­ Fennick was dead. Killed by a wall that ing to his drunken companion, Fennick knifed him in the back. Some people gave out an almighty scream, thrashed tried to say I was somehow responsi­ around for a few seconds, then slump­ ble, but the circumstances of the mur­ ed forward, "his arms dangling like an der were so coincidental, most of the ape's, to his ankles." town realized I would have had to People came out of their houses at have been a magician to have executed that point, while racing adrenalin such a deed. sobered the other fellow more rapidly All along the outside walls of the than any synthetic drug. They found gardens were stone seats where you Fennick's body had been pierced could stop and sit if you were weary. through by a sword-long blade sprung They were low to the ground, in keep­ from a crack in the wall behind the ing with the other artifacts of the town, seats. The point of the instrument pro­ but useful for drunks and those carry­ truded a good twelve inches from his ing loads under a midday sun. Some of chest. The scene further dramatized. the old men had chosen favorite posi­ On arrival in the valley the occupants tions on busy pedestrian routes and of the house had planted wisteria to would occupy these seats from dawn cover the bare wall. Plants grow very till dusk. Their lives already having rapidly in the valley, given the right gone by, they liked to watch others treatment, and the wisteria had flow past. John Fennick had apparent- covered the wall. John Fennick had

Almost Heaven 123 clutched at the plant in his death throes At least these unanswered ques­ and pulled it across his body like a pur­ tions absolved me from suspicion of ple cloak. being implicated. The very detail of the By the time I arrived back in town, clockwork killer must have taken they had dismantled the mechanism in lengthy planning and infinite care in the wall and it afforded a great deal of construction on the part of a skilled mystery. As an instrument of murder it craftsman: quite apart from the fact was elaborately fashioned. That the that I would have had to strip down assassin was among ourselves was the wall and pavement before the eyes soon dismissed (much to my own of other citizens. In any case it brought relief), and the blame was placed on Sally no closer to my side. She spent the town's former occupants. The her time consoling the distraught length of the blade and considerable friend of John Pennick, whom she mar­ force behind the spring suggested that ried a short while afterwards. it was designed to penetrate a thick, "She didn't deserve a runt like you squat anatomy. anyhow," snorted Thel on the day of The operation of the mechanism the wedding as I mooned around feel­ was fairly complex. It entailed simul­ ing sorry for myself. Baker grunted his taneous pressure on three points, two own approval of theses sentiments, at of them being supplied by a second the same time burning out his nostrils party: in this case Pennick's compan­ with grade-nine snuff. ion, who had pressed just the right Some time later I took a job with brick in the wall, while his left foot Jenny Ledbetter's father on his orange rested on a paving stone - the second plantation to the south of the town. triger. The third was a depression While he didn't encourage my ad­ which must have been activated by vances towards Jenny, he didn't warn Pennick's elbow, near to the point in me off either; and since Jenny and I the brickwork where the lethal blade worked side-by-side in the fields, it exited. So complex were the mechani­ was difficult to keep us apart. A feeling cal functions of the instrument, with its sort of grew between us, rather than intricate levers and pulleys and cogs, flash-fired into sudden existence, and and so complicated the operation, it soon we were exchanging confidences. seemed almost a ritual killing. Certain­ I found she had a lively mind. The) was ly as a murder weapon it was too right - I did find it a necessary ele­ elaborate, and why rely on your victim ment in our relationship. In fact, and I to supply essential assistance in his don't mind admitting it; Jenny was own killing1 If it was necessary to have cleverer than me in many ways. such a machine, why not just a single Perhaps not as shrewd, but her lever1 knowledp was wider-based and more

124 Fantasy A Science Fiction informed than my own. I was stronger, churCh, which affected all within a physically. (This may seem a superflu­ limited sphere of influence. ous statement, but Thel was a woman With the beautiful growing condi­ and she could have broken me in two tions, the balmy weather and the lack anytime she felt like it). We fell in love, of physical and mental illness, it was gradually. The bond was stronger for near enough heaven. The bible says it. three score years and ten, and it seem­ The town had a very strange effect ed we were going to get our due on us all. It was a negative influence, whether we liked it or not. Aside from and some put it down to godliness, or mechanical assassins of course, but luck, or something mystical in our cul­ you can't tear apart a granite-built ture. But most of us realized it was the town of alien interlocking blocks, engi­ town. The fact was, after a year, no neered to withstand millenniums, with one had fallen ill. Normally, in a popu­ the handtools of colonists. lation the size of ours there was always (Now that I can look back I think I someone down with a complaint. On can see some of the logic behind the average we should have had two dozen alien devices. The elderly, in fact live sick at any one time. But the truth was, well past their biblical quota, and do after those people who had fallen ill so in fitness and health. Many of our during the journey had become well - earlier deaths - and the lingering or died- there was no more disease. physical handicaps like arthritis - No more insanity, even. The old peo­ were overlaps from our former life. ple died occasionally, of physical com­ Now we are perfect, and when we die, plaints - heart failure mostly - but when, we go out phut like a candle. No even they tended towards a fitness un­ cancers dragging our bodies slowly known before. Those that had suffered over talons of pain. No bloated limbs from things like arthritis still had their or malipant, creeping sores. No terri­ problems but to a much lesser degree. ble inner dark passases to navipte The doctors complained that they felt alone.) defunct. Broken bones mended rapidly But paradise has its own draw­ and without complications. Only one backs. It can be excrutiatingly boring. premature death marred that year: The) and Baker hated it. So did I, to a John Fennick's. A woman who fell lesser degree. from a hay loft and fractured her skull I was with Thel and Baker when the and was expected to die, recovered in a explosion thundered through the miraculously short period of time. Fur­ streets of the town. We stared into ther out in the valley one could sense a each other's eyes in fright and incom­ change in the air. Perhaps there was a prehension. On recovering. I was the central point, a key building. like the first out of the door, followed by Thel,

AIIIIOII Heawen 115 then Baker. The floating debris of our out to finish the clearance, and where­ church tower was still disturbing the as the majority of us had fallen into a otherwise peaceful evening. The great lethargic, apathetic way of life, the pear-shaped bell, inherited from our fires were burning again. There were unseen aliens, had exploded. offers from carpenters and masons to We surveyed the mess: half our rebuild the church, bigger and better adopted church had been destroyed. than before. A glazier spoke of stained Two bodies had already been carried glass, something that had not been part out and a third was beneath the col­ of the original building. And a real lapsed masonry. bell-shaped bell was proposed by a "What the hell was that for7" guild of metalworkers. Tilers wanted growled Thel, angrily. to replace the old flooring with mosaic. Baker shrugged and I murmured Someone proposed widening the door­ something about, "Crazy natives." way and fitting solid wood doors. We began levering the stonework There was a great deal of enthusiasm. and timber from the top of the pile, but Of course, it was a tragedy and there was little hope of finding a sur­ there was a pall of sorrow on the vivor underneath. Each of us had that shoulders of a few. Grief is private little question ''Why7" buzzing around ·amongst us though, and we left the in our brains the whole time we work­ mourners to their tears. Someone, ed. Thel kept insisting that we had Baker I think, suggested we take some done the aliens no harm - a fact we men and search outside the valley for were all fully aware of - so why the culprits, but the idea was not taken should they leave booby traps all over seriously. We were all too busy plan­ the place7 ning. There was a feverish kind of ex­ "It's only one," I said. citement in the air that was difficult to ''Two," she reminded me. "There quell, even on the day of the funeral. was also Fennick." The aftermath included an inquiry "Yeah, Fennick," emphasized into the cause of the explosion - the Baker. trigger, that is. After a great deal of de­ They were right of course. There liberation the experts told us that it could have been dozens of similar de­ was pure chance that had caused the vices scattered throughout the town. bomb to explode. The explanation was We worked on into the night under barely credible. lights, but the third person was dead. The great bell had had a clapper in­ After we found him we slowed down. side, but there was not a man or There was no real rush to complete the woman in the town strong enough to job. swing the beast to get it to sound. Since It seemed most of the town came we liked the two ends of the day to be

126 fantuy a. Science fidion chimed in and out, the priests had been throwing her hands into the air. We all a little upset by the immovable metal stared at one another without under­ pear dangling leaden from its enor­ standing. At that time I had just the mous joint. The problem had been smokiest notion of what lay behind the solved by gathering a pile of large peb­ murders; clarification came later, after bles from the bank of the river. Youths several more incidents, but by that were engaged to hurl the missiles at the time Thel and Baker had gone. bell at prescribed hours of the day. For two years no other freak booby One of these stones had detonated the traps entered our lives. We prospered. bomb. The vineyards and citrus fruit groves That a rock should accurately yielded their plenty; our livestock mul­ strike the inch-square detonator to the tiplied; from the river we reaped booby trap was not, in itself, unusual. harvests of migrating fish. The com­ In the course of time one of the boys munity w.as in a comfortable position would be bound to hit it: one year, a - no one wanted for food, clothing or hundred years, they stood as much shelter. Our only complaint might chance of hitting that spot as any other. have been the dull routine. Life turned But - the bell was not was designed for over, regularly, like the wheel of a stone throwers. It had a clapper and the clock: click, click, click, click. clapper would not have activated the "I'm going," said Thel one day, and charge in an eternity. Its striking circle she took a pack horse and went. Just was two feet away from the detonator. like that. Something had snapped in­ AJso, the bomb needed a second pres­ side her. Baker had already gone with sure point within the church. Someone a contingent of young men and had to be standing on a particular slab women. A break-away colonist group in the room we used as a vestry. In this that wanted to push further into the in­ case, it had been a priest, who was un­ terior. No doubt Thel intended catch­ harmed by the explosion. ing them up, but she didn't say so. She The chances of accidenttdly det~ waved until she was out of sight. I nating the ~eel "booby trap" were missed her terribly. incredibly low. I stayed because I was married to "So what the hell did they do it Jenny and had responsibilities about for1" said Baker. 'We could have been the farm. Jenny was my anchor but, here a million years and not set it off." damn, I stretched the chain really tight '1t's not only the bomb," I said to the day Thel left. It almost snapped. them. 'What about John Pennick's In the fifth year we had one or two death7 I think that was a kind of acci­ minor incidents connected with the dent too." aliens. A cavity in a wall let out some 'Well, what is it then7" cried Thel, noxious gas which, though not fatal,

Almott Heaven 127 made the recipient ill for some time. A great fault: it WllS perfect. The single hearthstone suddenly spat a colored flaw in it was that there was no flaw. dart into a family group who were That this paradox should affect us having their evening meal. It stuck in as it obviously did the aliens, only the wooden handle of the stew bowl, showed how close we were to them in right in line with one of the children. A certain aspects. We had common door released a blade which severed ground in a loathing of unalterable two fingers from a woman's hand. rhythm. The natural (and supernatu­ These incidents caused a flurry of ex­ ral) influences of the valley ordered citement amongst the community for our lives into harmony too constant to some while after each occurence. be acceptable. We needed the oc­ Seven years after came a very dra­ casional hiccough to alter the pace, the matic death. A politician in the middle timing. of our existence. Heaven of a campaign speech threw his arms should not be without risk. into the air and plunged thirty feet The aliens had realized themselves down Speaker's Steps. There was an that a life without change produces in­ arrow of a strange design protruding ertia. No new songs, no new poetry, from his chest. It was believed to have no artistic progress. A Spartan ex­ been fired from a drainpipe on the side istence eventually dies from apathy. So of our town hall. Putting the death they built tragedy into their lives by aside, one could admire the intricate patterning secret places of their town workmanship of the arrow, especially with deadly toys. Like toymakers, they its flexible, folding, lacework flights. It had delighted in the design and was a beautiful, if deadly piece of mechanics of their devices: subtle, in­ craft. genious machineries as well as grand, I think by that time we had guessed dramatic objects pregnant with thun­ the intentions of the aliens, who had der. built the town for themselves, after all, Sorrow, yes, but excitement too. A and not for us. Some of our people flicker in the life line. A talking point. were for abandoning the place, and in­ "Did you hear... ?" deed one or two did leave in search of Without them, the unalterable days Baker's group, but the majority accept­ follow each other like blank cards. All ed a change in philosophy. We allowed sense of time is lost and the brain a fragment of alien culture to enter our blunts its edge. With them, celebrities own, to fuse with it and become part are created; the reluctant widow, the of our way• of life. Indeed, we had to heroic father. There is no need for accept it, or follow Baker. After living blood feuds or vendettas. Our lives are for so long in the valley, we had tricked into alertness. Not only do we become attuned to its faults - its one have the incidents themselves to snap

1:18 fanhiiiY lr Science fidion us into enthusiasm for life, we have the Which pocket of rock in the town presence of all the still-hidden devices bears my name7 I sit and wonder. to consider. Every man, every woman Could I live without Jenny, or she is at constant risk, albeit that risk may "thout me7 Will our son grow to be small. ood7 A personal tragedy may We, each of us, have to look over have hating the aliens and their our shoulder, keep our mental faculties tricky innovations - but the commun­ primed, our reactions swift, for we are ity as a whole will be rewarded with all potential targets. Lethargy will not vivid images of death. My widow will be our inheritance. be a queen in black. I will visit her And where did the aliens go 7 Some grave in the orange grove, to place believe they moved on, for whatever flowers and words upon the grass. My reasons they may have had. I personal­ parentless son will have a trace of iron ly think they will return, which is not in his expression. Suffering creates such a bad thing. There's room for character. both of us in the valley, and the inter­ We could all grow old and die in est we will create in each other will add our beds - but there is a chance, just a further zest to our separate cultures. chance, that one of us will die young Perhaps they migrate to the mountains and beautiful. Such things dreams and or the sea - to return x number of stories are made of. Such things are years later, a different generation - written in songs. To be 'remembered is one that has no blueprints, no knowl­ immortality. edge of the position of the devices?

Heart disease and stroke will cause half Give the gift of all deaths of love. this year. A American Heart y'Association WE'RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE

Almost Heaven 129 Drrnuing by G1Jium Wilson

THE CIRCLE OF THE EARTH

Once, Janet and I were in a hotel room during the course of one of my lecture engagements, and a chambermaid knock~ on the door to ask if we needed any towels. It seemed to me we had towels, so I said that no, we didn't need towels. I had scarcely closed the door, when Janet called from the bathroom, saying that we did, too, need towels, and to call her back. So I openeQ the door, called her back, and said, "Miss, the woman I have here in my hotel room with me says we do, too, need more towels. Would you bring some7" "Sure," said she, and went off. Out came Janet, with that expression of exasperation she wears when­ ever my sense of humor escapes her a bit. She said, "Now why did you say that7" "It was a literally true statement." "You know you said that deliberately, in order to imply we're not mar­ ried. When she comes back, you just tell her we're married, you hear?'' Back came the chambermaid with the towels and I said, "Miss, the

130 fantasy &r Science Fiction woman I have here in my hotel room with me wants me to say to you that we're married." And over Janet's cry of "Oh, lsaJJc", the chambermaid said, haughtily, "I couldn't care less!": So much for modem morality.

I thought of this incident recently in the aftermath of an essay I wrote for Science Digest in which I made the casual statement that the Bible as­ sumes the Earth to be flat. You'd be surpOsed at the indignant letters I got from people who denied ~orously that the Bibl~ assumed the Earth to be flat. Why? After all, the Bible was written in the day when everyone assum­ ed the Earth was flat. To be sure, by the time the latest Biblical books were written, a few Greek philosophers thought otherwise, but who listened to them. I thought it was only reasonable that the men who wrote the various books of the Bible should know no more about astronomy than anyone else at the time and that we should all be charitable and kind to them, therefore. However, the Fundamentalists are not like the chambermaid in that hotel. When it comes to any suggestion of a Biblical flat earth, they couldn't care more. Their thesis, you see, is that the Bible is literally true, every word, and what's more, that it is "inerrant"; that is, that it cannot be wrong. (This follows clearly from their belief that the Bible is the inspired word of God, that God knows everything, and that, like George Washington, God can­ nOt tell a lie.) In support of this thesis, the Fundamentalists deny that evolution has taken place; they deny that the Earth, and the Universe as a whole, are more than a few thousand years old, and so on. _ There is ample scientific evidence that the Fundamentalists are wrong in these matters, and that their notions of cosmogony have about as much basis in fact as the Tooth Fairy has, but the Fundamentalists won't accept that. By denying some scientific findings and distorting others, they insist that their silly beliefs have some value and they call their imaginary con­ structions "scientific" creationism. At one point, however, they draw the line. Even the most Fundamental of Fundamentalists would find it a little troublesome to insist that the Earth is flat. After all, Columbus didn't fall off the end of the world, and the as­ tronauts have actually seen the world to be a sphere.

Science 131 If, then, the Fundamentalists were to admit that the Bible assumes a flat Earth, their entire structure of the inerrancy of the Bible falls to the ground. And if the Bible is wrong in so basic a matter, it can be wrong anywhere else, and they might as well give up. Consequently, the merest mention of the Biblical flat Earth sends them all into convulsions. My favorite letter, arriving in this connection, made the following three points: 1) The Bible specifically says the Earth is round (and a Biblical verse is cited), yet despite this Biblical statement, human beings persisted in believ­ ing the Earth to be flat for two thousand years thereafter. 2) If there seem to have been Christians who insisted the Earth was flat, it was only the Catholic Church that did so, not Bible-reading Christians. 3) It was a pity that only non-bigots read the Bible. (This, it seemed to me, was a gentle remark intended to imply that I was a bigot who didn't read the Bible and therefore spoke out of ignorance.) As it happened, my letter-writing friend was well and truly wrong on all three points. The Biblical verse he cited was Isaiah 40:22. I doubt that my correspondent realized it, or would believe it if he were told, but the 40th chapter of Isaiah begins that section of the book which is called "the Second Isaiah," because it was not written by the same hand that wrote the first 39 chapters. The first 39 chapters were clearly written about 700 B.C., in the time of Hezekiah, king of Judah, when the Assyrian monarch, Sennacherib, was threatening the land. Beginning with chapter 40, however, we are dealing with the situation as it was about 540 B.C., in the time of the fall of the Chaldean Empire to Cy~s of Persia. This means that the Second Isaiah, whoever he might have been, grew up .in Babylon Captivity, and was undoubtedly well educated in Babylo­ nian culture and science. The Second Isaiah, therefore, thinks of the Universe in terms of Babylo­ nian science, and to the Babylonians the· Earth was flat. Well, then, how does Isaiah 40:22 read? In the Authorized Version (bet­ ter known as the King James Bible), which is the Bible to the Fundamental­ ists, so that every last mistranslation it contains is sacred to them, the verse, which is part of the Second Isaiah's attempt to describe God, reads: "It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth... " There you have it - "the circle of the earth." Is that not a clear indica-

132 Fantasy & Science Fiction tion that the Earth is "round." Why, oh, why did all those bigots who don't read the Bible persist in thinking of the Earth as flat, when the word of God, as enshrined in the Bible, spoke of the Earth as a "circle." The catch, of course, is that we're supposed to read the King James Bi­ ble as though it were written in English. If the Fundamentalists want to in­ sist that every word of the Bible is true, then it is only fair to accept the English meanings of those words and not invent new meanings to twist the Biblical statements into something else. In English, a "circle" is a two-dimensional figure; a "sphere" is a three­ dimensional figure. The Earth is very nearly a sphere; it is certainly not a circle. A coin is an example of a circle (if you imagine the coin to have negligi­ ble thickness). In other words, what the Second Isaiah is referring to when he speaks of "the circle of the earth" is a flat Earth with a circular boun­ dary, a disk, a coin-shaped object. The verse my correspondent advanced as proof that the Bible consid­ ered the Earth to be a sphere, is the precise verse which is the strongest evidence that the Bible assumes the Earth to be flat. If you want another verse to the same effect, consider a passage in the Book of Proverbs, which is part of a paean of praise to personified Wisdom as an attribute of God: 'When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth:" (Proverbs 8:27). A compass, as we all know, draws a circle, so we can imagine God marking out the flat, circular disk of the world in this fashion. William Blake, the English artist and poet, produced a famous painting showing God marking out the limits of the Earth with a compass. Nor is "compass" the best translation of the Hebrew. The Revised Standard Version of the Bi­ ble has the verse read, 'When he established the heavens, I was there, when he drew a circle on the face of the deep." That makes it more specific. Therefore, if we want to draw a schematic map of the world as it seem­ ed to the Babylonians and Jews of the 6th Century B.C. (the time of theSe­ cond Isaiah) you will find it in Figure 1. Although the Bible nowhere says so, the Jews of the late Biblical period considered Jerusalem the center of the "circle of the world" - just as the Greeks thought of Delos as the center. (A spherical surface, of course, has no center.) Now let us quote the entire verse: "It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain,

Science 133 and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:" (Isaiah 40:22). Figure 1 - The Circle of The Earth

The reference to Earth's inhabitants- as "grasshoppers" is merely a Biblical cliche for smallness and worthlessness. Thus, when the Israelites were wandering in the wilderness, and sent spies into the land of Canaan; those spies returned with disheartening stories of the strength of the inhabi­ tants and of their cities. The spies said: " ... we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight." (Numbers 13:33). Observe, however, the comparison of the heavens ·with a curtain, or a tent. A tent, as it is usually pictured, is composed of some structure that is easily set up and dismantled: hides, linen, silk, canvas~ The material is spread outward above and then down on all sides until it touches the ground. A tent is not a spherical structure that surrounds a smaller spherical structure. No tent in existence has ever been that. It is, in most schematic form, a semi-sphere that comes down and touches the ground in a circle. And the ground underneath a tent is flat. That is true in every case. If you want to see the heaven and Earth, in a cross-section, as pictured in this verse, see Figure 2. Inside the tent of the heavens, upon the flat-Earth base, the grasshoppers that are humanity dwell. Such a concept is reasonable for people who have not been very far from home, who have not navigated the oceans, who have not observed the changing positions of the stars during travels far north or south, or the behavior of ships as they approach the horizon, who have been too terri­ fied of eclipses to observe closely and dispassionately the shadow of the Earth upon the Moon. However, we have learned a lot about the Earth and the Universe in the

134 Fantasy a. Sdence Fiction last 25 centuries, and we know very well that the picture of the Universe as a tent curtain draped over a flat disc does not match reality. Even Fun­ damentalists know that much, and the only way they can avoid coming to the conclusion that the Bible is in error is to deny plain English. , Figure 2 - Sky and Earth

Semi-Spherical Sky

And that -shows how hard it is to set limits to human folly.

If we accept a semi-spherical sky resting on a flat-disc Earth, we have to wonder what it rests upon. The Greek philosophers, culminating in Aristotle (4th Century B.C.), who were the first to accept a spherical Earth, were also the first who did not have to worry about the problem. They realized that gravity was a force pointing to the center of the spherical Earth so they could imagine the Earth to be suspended in the center of the larger sphere of the Universe as a whole. To those who came before Aristotle, or who had never heard of Aristo­ tle, or who dismissed Aristotle, "down" was a cosmic direction indepen­ dent of Earth. As a matter of fact, this is so tempting a view that, in every generation, younsters have to be cajoled out of it. Where is the youngster in school who, on first encountering the notion of a spherical Earth, doesn't wonder why the people on the other side, walking around, as they do, up- side down, don't simply fall off1 . And if you deal with a flat Earth, as the Biblical writers did, you have to deal with the question of what keeps the whole shebang from falling. The inevitable conclusion for those who are not ready to consider the whole thing divinely miraculous, is to assume the Earth must rest on some­ thing - on pillars, for instance. After all, doesn't the roof of a temple rest on pillars? J

Science 135 But then, you must ask wbat the pillars rest on. The Hindus had the pillars resting on giant elephants, who in turn stood upon a super-giant tur­ tle, which in turn swam across the surface of an infinite sea. In the end, we're stuck with either the divine or the infinite. Carl Sagan tells of a woman who had a solution simpler than that of the Hindus. She believed the flat Earth rested on the back of a turtle. "And what does the turtle rest on7" asked Carl. "On another turtle," said the woman, haughtily. "And what does that other turtle-" began Carl. The woman interrupted, "l know what you're getting at, Dr. Sagan, but it's no use. It's turtles all the way down." But does the Bible take up the matter of what the Earth rests on7- Yes, but only very casually. The trouble is, you see, that the Bible doesn't bother going into detail in matters that everyone may be assumed to know. The Bible, for instance, doesn't come out and describe Adam when he was first formed. It doesn't say specifically that Adam was created with two legs, two arms, a head, no tail, two eyes, two ears, one mouth and so on. It takes all this for granted. In the same way, it doesn't bother saying right out, "And the Earth is flat" because the Biblical writers never heard anyone saying anything else. However, you can see the flatness in their calm descriptions of Earth as a circle and of the sky as a tent. In the same way, without saying specifically that the flat Earth rested on something, when everyone knew it did, that something is referred to in a very casual way. For instance, in the 38th chapter of Job, God is answering Job's com­ plaints of the injustice and evil of the world, not by explaining what it's all about, but by pointing out human ignorance and therefore denying human beings even the right to question (a cavalier and autocratic evasion of Job's point, but never mind). He says: 'Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, ~ thou knowest7 or who hath stretched the line upon it7 Whereupon are the foun­ ations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;" (Job-38:4-6) What are these "foundations"? It's hard to say because the Bible doesn't describe them specifically. We might say that the "foundations" refer to the lower layers of the Earth; to the mantle and liquid iron core. However, the Biblical writers never heard of such things, any more than they ever heard of bacteria - so

136 hnlasy lr Science Fiction that they had to use objects as large as grasshoppers to represent insignifi­ ,&ance. The Bible never refers to the regions under the Earth's surface as composed of rock and metal, as we shall see. We could say that the Bible was written in a kind of double-talk; in verses that meant one thing to the unsophisticated contemporaries of the Biblical writers, but that meant something else to the more knowledgeable readers of the 20th Century, and that will tum out to mean something else still to the still more knowledgeable readers of the 35th Century. If we say that, however, then the entire Fundamentalist thesis falls to the ground, for everything the Bible says can then be interpreted to be ad­ justed to a fifteen-billion-year-old Universe and to the course of biological evolution, and this the Fundamentalists would flatly reject. Hence, to argue the Fundamentalist case, we must assume the King James Bible to be written in English, so that the "foundations" of the Earth are the objects on which the flat Earth rests. Elsewhere in the book of Job, Job says, in describing the power of God: "The pillars of heaven tremble and are astonished at his reproof." (Job 26:11). It would seem these pillars are the "foundations" of the Earth. Perhaps they are placed under the rim of the Earth where the sky comes down to meet it, as in Figure 3. These structures are then both the pillars of heaven and the foundations of the Earth. What do the pillars in tum rest on7 Elephants? Turtles? Or is it pillars "all the way down." Or do they rest on the backs of angels who eternally fly through space. The Bible doesn't say. Figure 3 - The Pillars of Heaven Sky

And what is the sky that covers the flat Earth like a tent7 In the Bible's creation-tale, the Earth begins as a formless waste of

Science 137 water. On the first day, God created light and somehow, without the presence of the Sun, caused it to be intermittent, so that there existed the succession of day.and night. Then, on the second day, he placed the tent over the formless waste of waters: "And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters." (Genesis 1:P6). The first syllable of the word "firmament" is "firm," and that is what the Biblical writers had in mind. The word is a translation of the Greek "stereoma," which means "a hard object" and which is, in tum, a transla­ tion of the Hebrew "rakia," meaning "a thin, metal plate." The sky, in other words, is very much like the semi-spherical metal lid placed over the flat serving dish in our fancier restaurants. The Sun, Moon and stars are described as having been created on the fourth day. The stars are viewed as sparks of light pasted on the firma­ ment, while the Sun and Moon are circles of light that move from east to west across the firmament, or perhaps just below it. This view is to be found most specifically in Revelation, which was written about A.D. 100 and which contains a series of apocalyptic visions of the end of the Universe. At one point it refers to a "great earthquake" as a result of which: " ... the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind. And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; ... " Revelation 6:13-14). In other words, the stars (those little dots of light) were shaken off the thin metal structure of the sky by the earthquake, and the thin metal sky itself rolled up like the scroll of a book. The firmament is said "to divide the waters from the waters." Ap­ parently there is water upon the flat base of the world-structure, the Earth itself, and there is also a supply of water above the firmament. Presumably, it is this upper supply that is responsible for the rain. (How else account for water falling from the sky7" Apparently, there are openings of some sort that permit the rain to pass through and fall. and when a particularly heavy rain is desired, the open­ ings are made wider. Thus, in the case of the Flood: " ... the windows of heaven were opened." (Genesis 7:11). By New Testament times, Jewish scholars had heard of the Greek multi­ plicity of spheres about the Earth , one for each of the seven planets and then an outermost for the stars. They began to feel that a single firmament na F11nla1J • Science Fidion might not be enough. Thus, St. Paul. in the 1st Century A.D. assumes a plurality of heavens. He says, for instance: "I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago, . . . such an one caught up to the third heaven." (2 Corinthians 12:2.)

What lies under the flat disk of the Earth7 Certainly not a mantle and a liquid iron core of the type geologists speak of today, at least not according to t~e Bible. Under the flat Earth, there is, instead, the abode of the dead. The first mention of this is in connection with Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, who rebelled against the leadership of Moses in the time of the wandering in the wilderness: "And it came to pass ... that the ground clave asunder that was under them: And the earth opened her mouth and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods. They, and all that _appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished ..." (Numbers 16:31-33). The pit, or "Sheol'' was viewed in Old Testament times, rather like the Greek Hades, as a place of dimness, weakness, and forgetfulness. In later times, however, perhaps under the influence of the tales of in­ genious torments in Tartarus, where the Greeks imagined the shades of arch-sinners to be confined, Sheol became Hell. Thus, in the famous parable of the rich man and Lazarus, we see the division between sinners who descend into torment and good people who rise into bliss: "And it came to passs, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried; And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments,and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom: And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame." (Luke 16:22-24). The Bible doesn't describe the shape of the Pit, but it would be interest­ ing if it occupied the other semi-sphere of the sky, as in Figure 4. It may be that the whole spherical structure floats on the infinite waste of waters out of which heaven and earth were created, and~ which represents primeval chaos, as indicated in Figure 4. In that case, perhaps we don't need the pillars of heaven. Thus, contributing to the waters of the Flood, were not only the win­ dows of heaven opened wide but. at that time also:

139 " ... were all the fountains of the great deep broken up .. " Fig. 4 - The Underworld

Rat Earth

Smoke and A arne

In other words, the waters of chaos welled upward and nearly over­ whelmed all of creation. Naturally, if the picture of the Universe is indeed according to the literal words of the Bible, there is no chance of a heliocentric system. The Earth cannot be viewed as moving at all (unless it is viewed as floating aimlessly on the "great deep"), and certainly it cannot be viewed as revolving about the Sun, which is a small circle of light upon the solid firmament enclosing Earth's flat disk.

Let me emphasize, however, that I do not take this picture seriously. I do not feel compelled by the Bible to accept this view of the structure of Earth and sky. Almost all the references to the structure of the Universe in the Bible are in poetic passages of Job, of Psalms, of Isaiah, of Revelation, and so on. It may all be viewed as poetic imagery, as metaphor, as allegory. And the creation tales at the beginning of Genesis must also be looked upon as im­ agery, metaphor, and allegory. If this is so, then there is nothing that compels us to see the Bible as in the least contradictory to modern science. There are many sincerely religious Jews and Christians who view the Bi­ ble in exactly this light, who consider the Bible to be a guide to theology and morality, to be a great work of poetry- but not to be a text book of astronomy, geology, or biology. They have no trouble in accepting both the Bible and modern science, and giving each its place, so that they: " ... Render therefore unto Caesar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's." (Luke 20:25).

140 Fantasy lr Science Fiction It is the Fundamentalists, the Literalists, the Creationists, with whom I quarrel. If the Fundamentalists insist on foisting upon us a literal reading of the Genesis creation tales; if they try to force us to accept an Earth and Universe only a few thousand years old, and to deny us evolution, then I insist that they accept as literal every other passage in the Bible, - and that meaf\S a flat Earth and a thin, metal sky. And if they don't like that, what's that to me?

Science 141 Here is a first-rate story about an American Indian named John Stranger, who was to have been a medicine man, but who finds himself drafted into service as a rigger in the building of a huge space station ....

High Steel BY JACK C. HALDEMAN II and JACK DAN N

L1 0000 STRANGER. JOHN 0015 ON 7 APR 2177 - 6:00 PM 0001 T.A.S.E. RESERVATION 0016 Ds-SOUTH DAKOT A-116 0017 0002 SOC 187735-NN-000 0018 DO NOT BRING TOILET 0003 4 APR 2177 - 1:46 PM ARTICLES OR A CHANGE OF 0004 CLOTHES 0005 IMMEDIATE REPLY MANDATORY 0019 ALL WILL BE PROVIDED BYLAW 0020 0006 REFER T.A.S.E. DIRECTIVE 2045 E 0021 WELCOME ABOARD SECTION 0022 FROM YOUR T.A.S.E. DRAFT 0007 COUNCIL 0008 GREETINGS JOHN STRANGER 0023 0009 FROM THE TRANS-AMERICAN 0024 YOUR PRESENCE IS REQUIRED BY SPACE ENGINEERING CORP LAW 0010 0025 REFER USCC DIRECTIVE 27AI 0011 CONGRATULATIONS UPON BE- INDIGENOUS PEOPLES lNG SELECTED BY T.A.S.E. 0026 0012 FOR ORIENT ATION AND TRAIN- 0027 /*ROUTE PRINT REMOTE 2 lNG ON STATION CENTRAL 0028 /*ROUTE PRINT LOCAL 7 0013 0029 1234567890123456 0014 YOU WILL REPORT TO YOUR 0030/* TERMINAL INDUCTION BLDG END SOC 187735FILE-NN-OOO

142 hntasy & Science Fidion The old man walked beside John ing John a thermos of bitter water. Stranger. staring down at the rocky 'We can wait while you regain your trail. It was not' a time to talk. His face strength." was leather, as wrinkled as the earth. John felt dizzy again. Had it really His lips were chapped and parched, as been four days since he had climbed if they had never touched water. Years alone into the vision pit7 Time had beyond counting had marked him, blurred, scattered like sand before the molded him. Now he was ageless, wind. timeless. "You had a good vision," Broken­ The stark landscape stretched out finger said. It was not a question, but a below them: muddy columns carved statement. He knew. It ~uired no an­ by wind, deep ravines, vertical dikes, swer. fluted ridges. It was desolate country. John blinked, focused his eyes. The But it was their country. The way spirit-veils were fluttering before him, down would be difficult, but Broken­ shaking up the yellow grass and rocks finger could climb almost as well as and hills below like rising heat. He John. He often boasted that the Great could see his village in the distance, Spirit w<>uld not make him weak and nestled between an expansive rise and sick before taking him "south" - the the gently rounded hills beyond. It had direction of death. He had always been been his home since birth. Seventeen strong. He was an Indian, not a wasi­ years had passed. It seemed like more. cun, not a white man. He would take At times, it seemed like less. his strength with him to the outer­ The village was comprised of fifty world of the dead. That was his belief. silvery hutches set in a great circle, in That was his reality. It had always the Indian way. Broken-finger used to served him well. say that a square could not have much Broken-finger was a medicine man. power. But a circle is a natural power; Since John Stranger was a child, the it is the design of the world and the un­ old man had taught him, trained him. iverse. The square is the house and That would all change. risor of the wasicun, the squared-off, They climbed down a sharp basalt divided-up, vertical white man. cliff face, carefully searching out toe­ "Everyone down there is waiting holds and handholds. Their progress for you," Broken-finger said, as if was slow, the sun baked them unmer­ reading John's thoughts. "A good cifully. But they were used to it; it was sweat lodge has been prepared to sear part of their lives. When they reached your lungs and lighten your heart. a rocky shelf about halfway down the Then there will be a celebration." cliff face, they paused to rest. 'Why a celebration?" John asked as "Here," Broken-finger said, hand- he watched a spotted eagle soaring in

143 circles against the sharp blue sky. It moved to the next position on the huge was brother to the eagle in his vision. beam. His feet automatically found the Perhaps the spirit-man was watching. hold-tight indentations at the adjacent "The village is making you a good­ work station. For a brief moment his time because you must make a difficult body hung free of any support. He was decision. Pray your vision will help weightless and enjoyed the feeling of you." freedom. This was one of the few "What has happened7" John stop­ pleasures up here to his liking. The pered the thermos, passed it back to Earth hung above his head: a mottled the old man. globe, half darkness, half light. The "We received news from the wasi­ cross-strut he needed floated slowly to­ cun corporation yesterday." He paus­ wards him. Anna was right behind it. ed, saddened, and stated straight Of all the damn luck: Anna. Anybody ahead. 'They claim their rights on else. He shifted the joiner to his right you." hand and attached the proper nipple. John Stranger felt a chill crawl There were twenty other floaters out down his back. He stood up and walk­ on this shift; they could have sent ed to the edge of the shelf; there he someone el~ The chatter on the inter­ raised his hands and offered a prayer. com bothered him. So he tongued He looked for the spotted eagle and, as down the gain. if in a vision, imagined that it was fly­ "Bellman to Catpaw Five." The di­ ing away from him like an arrow rect communication cut through the through the clouds. static and low-tone babble. Mike Elliot "We must go now," he said to was bellman; John was Catpaw Five. Broken-finger, but he felt afraid and The bellman directed the placing of the alone, as if he were back in the vision beams, the floaters did the work. pit. He felt hollowed-out inside, as iso­ "Five here," slurred John. Mike was lated as a city-dweller. They climbed a stickler for rules and regulations. down toward the village together; but From the deck he could afford to be. It John was alone, alone with the after­ was different outside. images of his vision and the dark "Strut alpha omega seven-one-four smoke of his thoughts and fears. on its way." Below him, the village caught the "I have eyes," said John. . sun and seemed to be bathed in spirit­ "Acknowledge transmission, Cat­ light. paw Five." Always by the book. "Transmission acknowledged. Vis­ ual confirmation of alpha omega mith an easy fluid motion John seven-one-four has been achieved. Sat­ unsnapped the end of his tether and isfied7"

144 F~nt;uy & Sc:ience Fiction "This transmission is being moni­ steel was a rare talent. There was no tored, Catpaw Five." way he could ignore Anna. "They're all monitored, so what's "Down," he said, activating the the difference? Fire me." local channel. "I wish I could." Anna fixed a firing ring around the "I wish you would." Damn uppity far. end of the beam and slowly worked bellman. They were all the same. "And it into position. She drifted easily, laz­ while you're at it, why did you send ily. The beam slid gracefully into Grass-like-light? She has second shift plumb. today." 'That's got it," he said. "Thanks," "She goes by Anna, floater, and I he added as an afterthought. put her out because I wanted to." "You're welcome," she said in a dry "You put her out because she's a voice. Without another word, she hit royal pain in my-" her body thrusters and moved away "You're on report, John." from him to her next position. "Stuff it." John ignored the snub and went to "Firing on five. Mark." work with the joiner. Five of the color­ The seconds ticked down in his coded joints were within easy reach; he head. It was automatic - and he had "didn't even have to move from the already forgotten Mike. At the count hold-tights. Some ground-based of zero, three low-grade sparklers fir­ jockey had probably figured it all out ed. Aluminum trioxide, mined on the before the plans were shipped up and Moon. These one-time rockets were the beams forged in space. As usual, cheap and dirty, but all they needed. they had blown the obvious cross­ The boron filament beam, its apparent joins. He had to unhook for those, movement stopped, hovered a meter swing his body around to the other to his left. Sloppy. side. What looked easy on paper was "You missed," John said. often a different matter in space. His "You're still on report." helmet lamp created a glare in his eyes John shook his head, reached out as it reflected off the beam. The blind with the grapple and pulled the near side joins were the worst: no support. end toward the join. Mike was always He clipped his joiner back on his belt excited, always putting floaters on re­ and took a breather. port. ~t didn't mean a thing. People The tube that connected the globes were cheap, but the ability to walk of the barbell was taking shape. He'd high steel wasn't common. They could been on the job for almost a month, hire and fire ten bellmen before they from the very beginning. The tube would touch a floater. Anyone could looked like a skeleton now, but soon work the calculations, but walking the the outer skin would be worked into

Hi1h Steel 145 place and this job would be finished. they were packed in like fish in a tin. After that, it was on to the next assign­ Riggers got little respect and fewer ment. He could see several other float­ comforts. She leaned toward him,. ers working on the tube: anonymous, across the small table, and it made him white-suited figures in the distance. uncomfortable, although it didn't "That's got it, shift one," came the mean anything. Everyone leaned for­ bellman's voice over the intercom. ward while resting in zero-g. It was re­ "Come on in." flex. A pencil floated past her face. John waited for the transport, real­ "So go have a good time," John ly nothing more than a raft drifting by. said. The independent whores, male It had been an uneventful shift; most and female, always arrived just before of them were. They were ahead of the topping-off party. They were di­ schedule. That, too, was normal. rect competition to the T .A.S.E.-sup­ Damn Anna, anyway. Damn Mike for plied whores, who were more expen­ slipping her on his shift. He knew how sive but classier. It was almost time for much that bothered him. John was the party. The job was almost finished. used to his regular crew, knew their Soon the flag would be secured. Then habits and eccentricities by heart. He would come the release, the time for didn't need other people.· He didn't the crew to become as blind and as need Anna. drunk for as long as possible at the When the transport drifted by, he bosses' expense. reached out and hooked himself on by "What I do is my business," Anna the grapple. It was showy, but he said. "As it happens, I plan to have a didn't care. He looked to see if Anna good time. That is still permitted." noticed. She didn't seem to. John twisted his foot compulsively It didn't matter, he told himself. into the hold-tight grid on the floor. "You've tu~ed white enough. Go "The skids are arriving right on ahead and have a good time with the schedule," Anna said, pointing at the wasicun. nearest port. Outside, the small crafts ''I'm not white," she said defensive­ blinked and glittered against the dark­ ly, pulling away from him. Only the ness. John Stranger didn't look; he hold-tights prevented her from floating made a point of not turning his head. It to the ceiling. "You're a hypocrite," she was loud in the wardroom, too many said bitterly. "You're no more Indian people packed into too small a place. than the rest of your friends." She After the riggers left, they would put waved her arm at the others in the up partitions, make it comfortable for room. "Some medicine man. Are these the small number of people who would your people?" man the manufacturing station. Now John's face burned with anger and

146 fantuy & Science fiction embarrassment. "Yes," he said. He was pulling a double shift, like most of the to have been a wichasha waken, a holy other floaters. He didn't mind the man, a healer. Oearly half the riggers work, just the people. he worked for. - the floaters - were his own, his While he was working, he could forget own blood. They were Indian, yet they - forget that he was outside the sacred weren't. They had turned away from circle, forget Anna's face and her their heritage, forgotten the way of the words. Sacred Pipe. They had jumped at the He would not take Anna, nor any chance of reward, of a path out of the of the whores. He was a wichasha restrictive life of the ever-dwindling wakan, a medicine man, even here. He reservations. He could not understand, was. He was. They could not take that nor could he forgive. He had been away from him, no matter where they taken away from his people, while moved him, no matter what they made most of them had left to become white him do. men. A few, it was true, had been But in his heart, he was not so sure. drafted. Anna was one. She grinned at John, as if she could see right into him. "Spend the night ilhe shifts seemed to blur, one melt­ with me," she said, baiting him. "Or ing into another, as constant and pre­ aren't you man enough?" dictable as the stars. Somehow im­ "Our ways are not the same." mense loads of planking moved into "Up here we are all the same," she place. Endless floating mountains of said. "We are no longer in the woods, beams were connected into struts and we are no longer dirtwalkers." She un­ decking. Slowly the skeleton grew, locked her cleats from the grid. Before took shape. The two massive globes at pushing off she said, "John Stranger, I opposing ends of the station were each think you're impotent. I don't think large enough to house a fair-sized city. you could even do it with wasicun." They dwarfed the tube that connected John winced. Perhaps he had stud­ them, even though the tube itself was ied the ways of the People too long and over fifty meters in diameter. Pipes, didn't know enough about the world. endless mazes of twisted wires, and in­ But the People were the world! terlocking tunnels ran through the The lights flashed twice, a signal. length of the tube. Waldos walked Fred Ransome, one of the bosses, down large tracks where the men walked through the wardroom shout­ would not be able to stand the gravity. ing, "All right, riggers. Play time's In the middle of the connecting tube over. Now move. Get yourselves back was a smaller globe, ringed with ports. into the dark." It would hold the personnel manning John rose, cleared his head. He was the station.

Hip Steel 147 Now the silvery covering was in ability, they would be legally drafted place, and what had once looked as by the corporation, as John had been. light as a delicate mobile seemed to They were usually sent to the belt gain in mass as strut after strut had where they could cause no trouble. been overlaid with the metallic skin. _The skids held pleasures of a coarse like predators circling a great and vulgar nature. The T.A.S.E. cor­ whale, the tiny skids and larger poration men on site made much use of T.A.S.E. ships floated, patient as the them, the illegality of the situation coming and going of the seasons. Even adding greatly to the excitement. The from where he stood at the aft end of freebooters ·were one of the darker the barbell, John could make out the sides of life in space. details of the juryrigged skids, odd But their lives were free. pieces of junk bought or stolen, The rest of the crew caught up with thrown together almost casually. The John. He clipped himself to Sam Wo­ skids were dangerous, the reason for quini and they started to crab their the high mortality rate of the freeboot­ way across the silvery skin of this dor­ ers. But they were free; free to die, mant creature they had helped create. work, or skiff off toward the asteroids, They worked as one, easily, as they there to mine and get by until caught. had for the last year, without giving The freebooters were the people danger a thought, for their interdepen­ who had slipped through the otherwise dence was mutual. smoothly running cogs of life in space. The Boss had ordered this final They belonged to no nation-state, no walk-through. As usual. he had corporation, no colony. They came wanted it done immediately. Every­ and went as they pleased, selling ser­ thing had to be rushed. They had fin­ vices and paying for what they needed, ished three weeks ahead of schedule stealing if they could not pay. They and still the Boss hadn't let up. John were rarely bothered by the officials - tried not to let it bother him; it was just in this area the T.A.S.E. Patrol - as the city-dweller mentality, the wasicun long as they maintained a low profile. way of life. They had yet to learn pa­ Over a hundred thousand people lived tience, to learn how to flow easily with and worked in space, and the freeboot­ the life-forces. ers were an insignificant percentage. All across the station the floaters They moved easily, usually unseen, drifted, making their final visual from the richest condo to the roughest check. It was largely unnecessary but manufacturing complex. If they made protocol required it. They were dwarf­ waves, they were dealt with, usually ed by the gargantuan structure they by dumping them out into space. had given birth to, small specks against Without a suit. If they showed some their grandiose creation.

148 Fantasy a. Science Fiction John let his mind wander as he and have to make noise, he thought. Only Sam made their lazy way across the Sam knows how to be quiet. surface. He recognized the small signs "You're coming, and right now," of his own work as well as those of shouted Elliot. 'There's brass over here others. It was strangely comforting. that wants to meet you. If you no­ There was pride involved here, satis­ show, it's an automatic extension at faction at a -job well done. That was my option. You know the rules. Right one of the few rewards of his situation. now I'm of a mind to tack a few' years It could almost make up for the static on. Might teach you a lesson." he caught from the Bosses- T.A.S.E. That was always the kicker. They Brass - clowns, every one of them. It had draftees by the short hairs and could never make up for the time could extend their tour for nearly any they'd stolen from him, the years lost, reason at all. When the corporations away from the ways of his people. He had worked out the conscription agree­ felt the bitterness rise. He felt cheated. ment with the government, they had. held all the power, all the cards. Most The geodesic had docked and the of the land, too. party had been in full swjng for over "I can make things hard for your an hour. John had no intention of go­ friend." Elliot was getting frantic. His ing. He sat with Sam on a large skid voice cracked. Must be getting a lot of that had been used to· haul material pressure. John would have stalled on around during the construction of the general principles, but there was Sam. station. Since the job was, for all prac­ "Don't do it on my account," said tical purposes, finished, it had been his friend. "How hard can they made it moved well away from the station. A for me7 I've got a contract." large collection of equipment hung in John knew about contracts; they space around them, ready to be moved were no better than the treaties of the to the next job. past. They could be bent, broken, "Stranger and Woquini, get your twisted in a thousand ways. He shook respective butts over here. Time to his head. make an appearance." Mike Elliot's 'We'd better go," he said. He look­ voice came through scratchy and loud ed at the Earth below him. The horizon on the voicebox inside John's helmet. seemed to be made of rainbows. It Elliot, the bellman, always seemed to shifted as he watched. An erupting vol­ be shouting. He knew the floaters kept cano traced a lazy finger of smoke. their volume controls at the lowest set­ He'd been watching it for a month. A ting. storm, one of the great ones, twisted 'We're not going to make an ap­ and flickered in the ocean. All this pearance," said John. Wasicun always beauty, and he had to go into a crowd-

Hiah Steel 149 ed geodesic and make small talk with box even with the volume turned all the T.A.S.E. brass, fatcats that had the way down. John smiled at his never been alone a moment in their friend, then laughed. Sometimes Sam lives and were driven to tum Earth and did crazy things, just for the fun of it. space into frogskin dollars. On the reservation he would have be­ There was a small cycle tethered to come an upside-down man, a joker, a docking adapter on the skid. John the holy trickster. Up here he had re­ moved toward it. "Give me a hand," spect: he was very large and good with he said to Sam, and they swung the his hands, sometimes with his fists. cobbled-up cycle into position. Sam's whoop rose and fell. It was full The cycle was the usual floater var­ of joy, the joy of living. iety; simple, made out of parts lying "Clear all channels," shouted Elliot. around. It was just a collection of spare "What is that? Who's in trouble? struts joined together and a tiny thrust­ Stranger, is Woquini okay? It sounds er that powered it with bursts of nitro­ like he's dying." gen. Several other cycles of similar de­ "He's not dying," said John: "He's sign were scattered around the con­ living." He doubted Elliot would know struction site. Floaters used them to get the difference. He squeezed the thrust­ wherever they were going and left er and headed for the geodesic. them there for the next person. John gripped one of the struts and aimed the thruster. "Hop on," he said Dhe T.A.S.E. geodesic globe was to Sam. actually a pleasure station brought in "No, thanks," he said. "I'm going for the topping-off party. It was expen­ the fun way." sive, but the corporation could well af­ Sam grabbed a whipper and swung ford it. There was enough gambling, it over his head, catching it on the edge sex, and cheap thrills available to satis­ of the skid with a perfect motion that fy all but the most jaded palates. was a combination of long practice and Sleds, flitters, skids, and cycles an innate skill that could never be clustered all around the end of the bar­ taught. He let it pull his body up in an bell-shaped station and the docked arc and let loose of the whipper at the geodesic. Parties like this brought the precise moment that would allow his whores and hucksters out in force, angular momentum to carry him to the along with the independents looking geodesic docked at one of the swollen for work, hoping to sign on with some­ ends of the manufacturing station. His one. Independents were always look­ body spun end over end with a beauti­ ing for work, existence was precarious ful symmetrical motion. He let out a without corporate patronage. There loud whoop that rattled Johns' voice- were even private cabs - small energy-

150 FilnliiiY a. Science Fiction squandering vehicles - bearing the in­ was never planned, it just happened. It signia of other corporations. They had gave the men roots, a sense of place. come to check out the competition, For the same reason, the person who look over the terrain, make connec­ directed the placing of the beams was tions, wheel and deal. called a bellman, though bells hadn't Off in the distance :;olar collectors been used as a signal in hundreds of hung in silent, glittering beauty for kil­ years. ometers and kilometers. To John, they It was loud in the geodesic, much were a beadgame in space, mirrors for too loud for John. A mixture of float­ Earth. They held beauty, they held ers and corporation brass milled usefulness. They were in balance. The around, along with a scattering of image of a bird in flight, somehow other hangers-on, independents, frozen, came to John. It was perfect: whores. The corporation brass were harmony and balance. How could such easy to pick out by their obvious in­ things be made by the wasicun? All ability to handle zero.-g. He picked out this for the frogskin. the floaters, equally obvious by their John and Sam arrived simultane­ advanced stages of intoxication. They ously at the entrance to the geodesic. were a mixed ethnic bag: Scandinav­ Sam's trajectory, which would have ians, Germans, Irish, Scots, Hispanics, given a computer a headache, was per­ the ever-present English. Most of fect. They had both known it would them, however, were his own people, be. They unsuited and allowed them­ in blood if not in thought. As usual, selves to be dragged into the party. they were making fools of themselves The topping-off party was a tradi­ before the white man. He fought a rush tion that went back hundreds of years, of hatred, not only for the wasicun, its origin lost in legend and fable. At but for his own people as well. completion of work on a project - be He was immediately ashamed, for it bridge, bam, or skyscraper - a flag, in his heart he felt he was no different or sometimes a tree, was placed on the than the others. He found his oblivion highest part of the structure. It ~as a in his work, his dreams, his love of the christening of sorts and accompanied immensities of space. They found their by a party, nearly always at the com­ oblivion in booze, women, and drugs. pany's expense. If the owners declined He was a freak, the outcast, not they. to supply the whisky for the party, the The only other person he had met flag was replaced by a broom, express­ up here that came close to holding to ing the workers' displeasure and em­ the ways of the People was Sam. But barrassing the company. Sam had chosen space, not been draft­ Uke much of man's life on Earth, ed. He seemed to have struck a balance this tradition was carried into space. It between the old life and the new. In a

Hip Steel 151 way, John envied him. and times, was sick to death of it. If He sometimes thought he saw some they dragged him into their talk, he'd of the signs of the old life in Anna, say something wrong and get into though they were deeply buried. He trouble for sure. got the feeling that she had turned her There was new gossip from the back on her past. John was a constant belt, chatter about business interests reminder of those times to her. Per­ on the Moon, but mostly talk centered haps, he thought, that was why they around the station they'd just finished. never got along. Everyone seemed to think it was a mar­ A young woman drifted over to velous feat of engineering. When set John, offered him a nipple of scrag. He into rotation, the station would pro­ politely refused - it would be a dou­ duce a graduated gravity source, with ble-bind if he was high and anything a maximum of fifty-g's at the rounded happened. Most of the floaters could ends. It could never have been achiev­ handle it, but he knew he couldn't. He ed on Earth. What would eventually would be leaving the party as soon as be manufactured there was a mystery possible. to John: more square cities for all he A well-dressed man in his late six­ knew or cared. It was a job, plain and ties was holding court with a man simple. He was pleased that the float­ about half his age. The younger man ers' end had worked out well; beyond was a dirtwalker by all appearances. that he had very little interest. He stood perfectly still, as if one wrong Two of the T.A.S.E. brass separ­ move would send him floating away ated from a crowd and kicked over to­ forever. His legs were tense, his feet ward him. There was no easy way to jammed firmly in the hold-tights on the escape, so he braced himself. floor grid. His knees were locked. It "So you're John Stranger," said one would take a collision with a skimmer of them. "I hear you're one of our best running full-bore to dislodge him. Un­ men up here." comfortable as he looked, he was "Do you know me7" he asked, hanging on every word. making an attempt to be civil. "Great return," said the older man. The man smiled and tapped his ear, "Great return. You just can't beat indicating that he wore a computer space for high percentage income. Less plug. He turned to his companion. hassles, too. No ecofreaks to muck "Mr. Stranger here is an American around with. Hard to be accused of Indian, as many of our floaters are. polluting space. Even harder to They work well on the beams, seem to prove." have no fear at all. We recruit and John shook his head, pushed away. draft heavily from the tribes. They He'd heard that conversation a thous- seem to have natural ability in their

152 Fantasy 1r Science Fidion blood. Wouldn't you say that was arrogantly, as if they were two oppos­ true, Mr. Stranger?" He took a sniffer ing forces, two incompatible states of from his pocket, inhalted deeply. Some mind. She turned her attention back to sort of drug, a stimulant, most likely. the boy. John was insulted. Peopl~ made the . John was depressed. There were most sweeping generalizations. He things about Anna that he felt drawn swallowed his anger. It would serve no to, others that forced him away. It was purpose to start trouble with the brass. a complex feeling. It was unsettling. He'd spend the rest of his life in servi­ He had to get out of the geodesic, tude that way. back into the dark, into space. He felt "Some say that," said John, instant­ closed in, trapped. It was almost a ly sorry he'd compromised himself. A claustrophobic feeling, a vague sense cowardly action. "I'd better get back of uneasiness that brushed his heart, into the dark," he added, moving the pit of his stomach. He had never away. The man caught his arm. felt those things before, not even in the "Can't leave now," he said. "This sweat lodge. All he knew was that he party's for you, for all of you. Can't had to get out of there. thank you enough. You men and wo­ He found Sam and together they men are the real backbone of our oper­ left the party, suited up. It wasn't until ation." they left the geodesic that the pressure The thought turned John's stom­ lifted from John. He shook his head. It ach. "I really have to be going," he had been all out of proportion to the said. If he didn't get out, he was going situation. to do something foolish. He almost He was still angry with himself be­ didn't care. cause he hadn't stood up to the "We're having a spin party later in T .S.A.E. bureaucrat. The sense that he the living quarters on the station when had betrayed something weighed they start the rotation. Just a few of us heavily upon him, yet on another level old boys and some selected friends. he felt there had been no choice. It was Ought to be pretty spectacular. If a bitter feeling. He was no better than you're free, consider yourself invited." the others. "I'll keep it in mind," said John, He was a hypocrite. swallowing his contempt, backing off. No way he'd show up at something like that. Ut was the first time John had been in­ Breaking away from the two men, side the computer bubble, the mobile he caught a glimpse of Anna across the command center for this operation. He room. She was talking with a young wouldn't be there now if Sam hadn't man, a pretty whore. She met his stare talked him into it. Sam was a friend of

Hiah Steel 153 Carl Hegyer, who was running the The digital mounted next to the board. The bubble hung well away CRT screen on Carl's console ticked from the station; they had a panoramic down. A signal flare soared across the view. Sam had thought John might like darkness like an orange comet. The to watch the spin from there. He ad­ two-minute warning. mitted it was better than being with the Carl broke the silence in the bub­ brass in the center of the station, or ble. "All this will probably seem pretty watching it with the drunker revelers anticlimactic," he said. "I'm not much in the geodesic. more than the guy that pushes the Spin was imparted to the station by plunger. It starts slow. Not much to see an extremely simple and cheap at first." method. The surface of the station was He was right. When the digital ran covered with thousands of small, one- · down to zero, John had difficulty even shot aluminum-trioxide rockets. The seeing tHe rockets fire. Carl pointed to crew called them sparklers. They were a few scattered dots on the station's im­ dirty, but that didn't matter in space. age on the CRT screen. "Those are the What mattered was that they were rockets firing," he said. 'We ought to cheap, composed of elements easily be seeing something soon." mined at the lunar complexes. John looked out the large, curved Through the programmed comput­ port at the station. There were more er, Carl Hegyer could select the num­ rockets firing now, sending out white ber and order of rocket firings. They sparks like small magnesium flares. As would fire only a few at first, to get the he watched, one edge of the station oc­ station moving. Slowly they would in­ culted a star. It was moving. Still slow, crease the rotation by firing more and but the movement was perceptible. more rockets until the desired rate of Although John had worked on sev­ spin was achieved. The point they eral projects since his training, this was were aiming for was that which would the first time he had seen his handi­ produce a fifty-g force at the rounded work put into motion. It impressed ends of the station. That would still him, moved him, touched something leave the majority of rockets in re­ deep in his heart. serve. The immediate area had been For this was wasicun, the work of cleared in preparation for the firing. the white man. Yet somehow, as the The geodesic, party still in full swing, ponderous station gradually picked up had been undocked from the station speed with its trail of metallic sparks, it and moved a short distance away. seemed more like the wor~ of the Peo­ Most of the brass and dirtwalkers were ple. in the swollen living quarters in the There was symmetry here, balance, middle of the station. purpose. There were circles, closed cir-

154 fantasy lr Science fiction des linked with the circular Earth. For The station swung in a ballet of a moment he forgot about the dirt­ death, caught in an ungainly pirouette walkers on the station, the brawling by the uneven forces. The wrenching party in the geodesic. Here was pur­ stresses pulled at the station in a way pose. direction, in a fluid way. Rela­ that could have never been anticipat­ tionships were being expressed that he ed. The metal twisted, buckled, finally could only guess at, not yet hold. reached the breaking point and shear­ "It's beautiful," said Sam softly. ed. Before their horrified eyes, the sta­ "No one told me it would be beauti­ tion broke apart, one end of the barbell ful." ripping away. It headed inexorably for John could only nod. He was afraid the geodesic, a precise arc of destruc­ if he spoke, his voice would crack. tion. The rest of the station, out of Carl was busy at the console, fingers control, cartwheeled wildly away. flying over the· keyboard. Once in a Time froze. John was held by fear, while he would touch the CRT with a the old fear taught to him by Leonard lightpen, triggering an individual rock­ Broken-finger. It was the fear of one et passed over. who can see with his heart, who can It was going faster now, as fast as sense the spirits in the sweat lodge and John had ever seen anything swing in in the vision pit. As bits of steel, alum­ space. He knew the station needed inum, and boron silvered through fifty-g's at the ends, zero-gat the cen­ space, catching the sun in their terrible ter. It was necessary for the centrifuga­ dance, John became a wishasha tion and sedimentation of the material wakan. He saw through the eyes of his they were manufacturing. That seemed people, was one with everything like a lot of g-forces, but the station around him, was in the center of the was large, strong. It would handle it. circle. John saw it first, looking through Those aboard the geodesic must the port. Carl saw it an instant later, have tried to get out of the way. Yet it through the computer. An unevenness, happened too fast, they had no a ripple spread through the pattern of chance. John's people were in there, his the rockets firing. Suddenly the board spirit reached for them. went wild, every tell-tale in the room The terrible fear, the crawling fear went from green to red. Outside the broke through his heart. "Oh Wakan port, the universe was lit with a blind­ Tanka, Great Mystery, all those peo­ ing white flash. ple, don't let them die .... " John felt the "Jesus Christ," cried Carl. frozen. wings of Wakinyan-tanka, the great "Not" A whole bank of rockets along thunderbird. They were made out of one arm had fired at once. Not one the essence of darkness; they were as rocket, not ten; but hundreds of them. cold as ice, yet they burned his skin.

HiahSteel 155 The geodesic was struck dead cen­ happened. Forces were moved, stresses ter. It burst apart as broken metal and transposed from one place to another. broken people were ripped and scatter­ It was all a matter of balance, of ed in a thousand different directions, achieving a point of equilibrium. The tossing and tumbling end over end. computer was a prayer and he was in He heard himself screaming; it was the pit again, close to the spirits that as if he were back in the vision pit, and flicked in the dark and the thunder be­ he remembered: Wakinyan-tanka eats ings that carried the fear. His fingers his young, for they make him many; danced over the keyboard. He felt, yet he is still one. He has a huge beak rather than saw, the forces he was filled with jagged teeth, yet he has no manipulating. It was internal, not ex­ head. He has wings, yet he has no ternal: he was part and parcel of the shape. things he did. He grabbed the lightpen From somewhere distant, Sam yell­ and stroked the image of the runaway ed: "Do something, Carl. do some- station on the screen. Under his fingers thing." more rockets burst into life, counter­ From somewhere else, came Carl's balancing the undesired motion. With voice: "I can't." the sureness of an ancient hand paint­ And Sam: "Save the others." ing a Hopi jar, he sought out the prop­ Carl: "I can't stop it. Calculations er forms, the patterns. The station are too complex. I can't." slowed. John felt the cold breaking of The fear, the ancient fear carried by death, the death of all, Indian and was­ prayer, was breaking him. It gave him icun alike. He broke, and was made the emptiness the wasicun built, trans­ whole. He pulled Carl from the chair, forming it into a wisdom. He frowned, sat down in front of the computer con­ added a few last strokes with the light­ sole. Sam yelled, Carl screamed. These pen, tapped a few more buttons. The were disruptive forces, he blocked station stopped, motion arrested. them out, ran his fingers lightly over John slumped forward, drained of the keyboard. energy. He shook himself, looked He touched a button and a single around, half expecting to see the roll­ rocket fired on the wildly careening re­ ing desert, the towering mesas. Instead mains of the station. He touched an­ he saw Sam and Carl. though he didn't other button and a rocket fired some­ recognize them at first. place else on the skin of the station. They stared at him with amaze­ There was a rhythm, a balance. Action ment, with fear, unable and unwilling and reaction, all parts of the whole. to move, to break the spell. They Gently he felt his way into the heart could not comprehend what they had of the computer. He did things, things just seen.

156 Fantasy a. Science Fiction John looked· at them and under­ ing rigid, standing tall. stood that, and more. Much more. He The dry, crack~ gullies stretched stood. out below him, their colors muted in "We'd better go," he said. "Some of the morning mist. He felt old, but was them may still be alive." not distressed. All his life he had been They followed him. They would surrounded by the canyons, the tower­ have followed him anywhere. ing rock formations. Time meant noth­ ing to them. A man did what he could. It was cold on the mesa top; the sky He thought of others he had walk­ was just beginning to lighten. Leonard ed down from the vision pit. _There had Broken-finger crouched at the opening been many. Some blurred into the dis­ of the vision pit. He held a bag in one tant past, some stood out. He thought hand and rested himself against the of John Stranger, gone now three win­ wall with the other. The boy in the vi­ ters, taken by the WIISicun. He had sion pit made stirring noises. His name been special; it seemed the spirits lived was Jonas Goodbird and he was barely through him. more than a child. It was age enough. A field mouse nudged his foot, a "You've been here four days," said lizard scuttled across his leg: he stood Broken-finger. "Your vision quest is that still. The sun broke the horizon. over. I hope Wakan-tanka has helped He felt the presence of John Stranger. you." He raised his arms to the heavens, 'Tm still alive," said Jonas in a stood that way for endless moments quavering, unbelieving voice. staring at the rising sun. He felt the "Of co~rse you are; though by all cold brush of wings. appearances, not by much." He laugh­ Wakinyan-tanka eats his own ed, but his lips were tightly closed, so young, for they make him many; yet the laugh could play only in his throat he is one. He hilS a huge beak filled and not in his mouth. For as long as with jagged teeth, yet he hilS no head. anyone in the tribe could remember, He hilS wings, yet hilS no shape. the medicine man could not smile be­ He felt these things, and more. cause his lips would break and bleed. There were terrible things happening. Children made a game of trying to get There were beautiful things happening. old Broken-finger to laugh and break It was a time of changes, a shifting of his lips. They had never succeeded. the order. The cold wings brought him The boy was getting ready to leave thoughts of John Stranger. the vision pit. It would take a few min­ Arms still high, tears ran down his utes for him to gather his.wits. Broken­ cheeks. There was sadness. But sadness finger left him to this and walked to the was not the whole; there were other edge of the mesa. He faced east, stand- things brought to him on the icy wings

Hiah Steel 157 of Wakinyan-tanka. They stirred him contorted shapes. Here and there an deeply. arm waved, a leg moved. Twisted He smiled for the first time in fifty wreckage was everywhere. years. It was a gentle smile, it came They worked together quietly. from his heart. There were good things with purpose. They separated the liv­ happening for the People, he could feel ing from the dead, did whatever they it. They would come at high cost, but could for those who hung in between. they would come. Some they lost, some they saved. John His lips cracked and blood ran drifted to the floor grid. It was twisted down his chin, dropped to his chest. and buckled, people were trapped His arms did not waver. there. He worked at freeing them. A soft voice called ~s name. A hand touched his shoulder. Anna. She 11 hey arrived at the ruined station lived. before the summoned rescue vehicles. "I thought you were dead," he said. From the outside it looked to be the "Dead with the others on the geo­ disaster it was. The end that had tom desic.", off left jagged remains; a twisted mass "I ... I came here. It was ...... Her of beams, wires, and pipes. John led voice trailed off. them to the living quarters in what had Suddenly the chamber was filled once been the middle of the station. It with light as the rescue crew entered. appeared intact but had been under They were efficient and noisy. barking considerable stress. What g-forces it orders everywhere. They took over. A had been subjected to could only be part of John relaxed. In the bright guessed at. light, Anna looked terrible. The side of It was pitch-black inside. There her face was purple with a large bruise, was still air inside, stale, but breath­ her left arm hung at a funny angle. She able. John flipped back his visor and was staring intently at him. turned on his lantern. He could hear "You've changed," she said slowly. low moans. Moans meant life. reaching out with her other hand to And what of life, of death7 His stroke the side of his face. There was people had died in the geodesic, he had awe in her voice, tinged with fear. She been unable to help them. These that saw in his face things of the People. It lived, these he saved, were of the wasi­ was like looking into the past through cun. He had done what had to be the eyes of her mother's mother. There done, led by the thunder spirits. There were things there that frightened her, were reasons for everything. things that made her proud. His lamp stabbed through the "I am what I always have been," blackness. Bodies floated in horrible, said John.

158 Fantasy lr Science Fiction He saw many things, good and 5659 TRIALS- 100 bad. the wasicun controlled his body, 5660 SUCCESS RATE- 100% but not his spirit. There were things to 5661 be done and he had been called to do 5662 PROBABILITY THIS DUE TO them. It would be a difficult time, but a CHANCE APPROACHES ZERO good time for the People. 5663 The cold wings of Wakinyan-tanka 5664 CONCLUSION: brushed his soul. The thunderbird 5665 SUBJEct INTUITIVELY MAKES would be with him always, as it was in RIGHT DEOSIONS IN the instant of death, the instant of sal­ 5666 APPARENTI.Y AMBIGUOUS vation. He was part of the circle, per­ SITUATIONS. haps in the center. 5667 SUBJECT HAS HIGH AWARENESS A long road lay ahead. He had but OF SURROUNDINGS AND taken the first step. 5668 RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN OB­ JECTS IN HIS ENVIRONMENT. 5641 //STRANGER JOB 5670 5642 (3014,5002,1,1,0), 'COL-1, CAP#J', 5671 NOTE: SUBJECT UNCOOPERATIVE CLASS-Q 5672 5673 WEAI

Two Colors

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Free list. Raymond Bowman, 'cataloa 504. Send now to Canopus One, 3947 Box 5845, Toledo, Ohio 43613. Delta Avenue, Dept. 2, Rosemead, CA 91770. HARDCOVER SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY. SEND 25~ FOR CATALOG of Scientifantasy Reasonable Prices. Free lisu. Norman Syms, 8 books & pulps. Canford, Drawer 216, Freeville, Broadmoor Vale, Upper Weston, Bath, Avon, NY 13068. Enaland BA1 4LP .. FREE LISTS. Used paperbacks, 25~ & up. Used EARN BIG MONEY- learn Technical Writina. hardcovers S1.00 & up. SF, Fantasy, Mysteries. Send S10 today for Technical Writinr- The Easy L&J. Box 693, Bellevue, Nebraska 68005. Way. Norway Books, Suite F, P.O. Bo• 963, MOONSTONE BOOKCELLARS, INC. 2145 Penn­ lomita, CA 90717. sylvania Avenue, NW, Washinaton, D.C. 20037. SF COLLECTOR. An Advertisina newspaper"fea­ (202) 659-2600. Science Fiction, Fantasy and turina articles, biblio1raphies, interviews, news, Mysteries. reviews, forthcomin1 books, etc. Free sample! THE LITERATURE OF FANTASY & Science Fic­ Box F-a6, Neche, NO 58265. tion is remarkably complete at The Science Fic­ PUBLISHERS' OVERSTOCKS, BARGAIN tion Shop, 56 Eiahth Ave., NY, NY 10014. World­ BOOKS. 2,000 titles, all subjecU! Free cataloa: wide mail-order. Catalo1ue mailinB-Iist free Hamilton's, 98-28 Clapboard, Danbury, CT US/Canada; S1.00 all other. 06810. Extraterrestrial lntelli1ence - 303 p. hardcover. FOREIGN EDITIONS OF FANTASY AND SCI­ Authors include: Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, ENCE FICTION. Copies of French, German, leonard Nimoy. Publisher's current price S15.95. Spanish, Japanese and Swedish editions avail­ Our price only S9.95. Texas residents add 5% able at S2.50 each, three for S7.00. Mercury sales tax. METROPOLITAN BOOK MART, P.O. Press, Box 56, Cornwall. CT 06753. Box 53601, Houston, Texas 77002. Do yo~ have something to advertise to sf readerd Books, magazines, typewriters, telescopes, computers, space-drives, or misc. Use the F&SF Market Place at these low, low rates: $7.50 for minimum of ten (10) words, plus 75 cents for each additional word. Frequency discount: 10% for six consecutive insertions, 15% for twelve consecutive inser­ ti.on~. Send copy and remittance to: Adv. Dept., Fantasy and Science F1ct1on, P.O. Box 56, Cornwall, Conn. 06753. USED SF & MYSTERY PAPERBACKS & hard­ ALICIA AUSTIN'S Age of Dreams, $28.00 ( + 1.50 covers. Over 5,000 titles. Send 25~ for catalog. CA). Beers-FSF, Box 2023, Culver City, CA 90230. Lawrence Adams, PO Box 21162, Baltimore, CANCER MIRACLES: Information wanted. PO Maryland 21225. 367, Sunset Beach, CA 90742. FREE CATALOC. Pulps, paperbacks. Send STATIONERY, PHOTOPRINTS AND GAMES. Wants. Marx, 4412 18th, Lubbock, TX 79416. Fantasy and science fiction themes. Illustrated OCCULT BOOKS AND CURIOS, candles, herbs, flyer, samples SIK. Apogee Books. Interstate tarot cards, oils and ritual accessories. Free Mall, Altamonte Springs, FL 32701. catalog. Athene, 6851 Bird Road, Miami, Florida HAPPINESS CLUB, open to EVERYONE. Dues 33155. S19 per year, includes newsletter. S1 brings de­ WORK MAGICK! Quarterly newspaper tells tails. Write Samuel Shaffe, Box 834, Sort HFM, how. Articles, rituals, contacts. 52/sample copy; New York City 1()()()9.()834. S5/year. Circle Network News, Box 9013-Z, SPACE-FREIGHT - Things for 5-F fans. Fiction Madison, ~~-~~715. books, "How to Write S-F" books, comics, video tapes, T-shirts, novelties, tons more! Free HYPNOTISM catalog. Box 1836, Greeley, CO 80632. Hypnotism Revealed. Free illustrated details. Powers, 1201 5 Sherman Road, North Hollywood, PERSONAL C!!Jtf!)rnia 91605. SINGLE? Meet that special person! Call DATE­ INSTRUCTION LINE - free: 800-451-3245. ADVANCED TITLES - DEGREES Ministers, LEARN TO PLAY the classic guitar in only one Honorary Doctorates, other services. Omnide­ lifetime. Frederick Draper Guitarist. Student of nominational. Free details. 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WIP, 83038, Grant, friendship, marriaae. Photos, information free. Florida 32949.(1303. Latins, Box 171£>-FA, Chula Vista, CA 92012. RURIK'S CUBE SOLVED! S2.00 and SASE. HAPPINESS CLUB, open to EVERYONE. Dues Kurosaka, 72 Newell Rd., Auburndale, MA S19 per year, includes newsletter. S1 brings 02166. details. Write Samuel Shaffe, Box 834, Sort HFP, VIDEOGAME BUSINESS. Full or part time. New York City 1()()()9.()834. Distribution Info: $1.00, SASE. Stars, Box 126F. Evans, GA 30809. RECORDSIT APES ZORPHWAR - Computer moderated pbm GREAT SF RADIO PROCRAMS. Free list casset­ multiplayer space wargame. Rules S1. Zorph tes. Rare Radio, Dept. F. Box 117, Sunland, Calif. Enterprises, 3646-F Gibsonia Rd., Gibsonia, PA 91040. 15044. 9076 Pub . ed . $19.95 9738 Spec.ed . 9308 Pub. ed . $13.95 9282 Spec. ed. How the Club works: When your membership is accepted , MAIL TO: you 'll receive your choice of any 5 books on this page for only $1 (plus shipping and handling) . If you are not com­ THE SCIEI\I::E RCTIDN pletely satisfied , return them within 10 days, cancel your Bcx:::JK CLUB membership , and owe nothing. About every 4 weeks (14 Dept. D~-072 , Garden City, N.Y. 11530 times a year) , we 'll send you the Club's bulletin , describmg "· the 2 coming Selections and a variety of Alternate choices . Please accept me as a member. Send me the 5 books 1have In addition, up to 4 times a year you may receive offers of checked , ~nd bill me just $1 (plus shipping and handling) . I agree to special Selections, always at low Club prices . If you want the Club Planas described . ! will take 4 more books at regular low Club the 2 Selections, do nothing; they 'll be shipped automati­ prices in the'coming year and may resign any time thereafter. cally . If you prefer an Alternate, or no book at all, just fill out Mr. the convenienNorm always provided , and returQ it to us by MS------(~p~le-as_e_p_n~· n~t) ______the date specified . That date gives you 10 days to decide . If you receive unwanted Selections because you had less than Address:-, ------'------Apt. #---- 10 days , return them and owe nothing. Once you 've pur­ chased just 4 books in the coming year you may resign at any time or remain a member as long as you wish . A ship­ ping and han'dling charge is added to all shipments . SF.BC offers serious works for mature readers . Send no money now , but mail this coupon today! SFBC offers complete hardbound editions sometimes altered in size to fit special ·presses to save members even more . Members accepted in U.S.A. and Ca ada only. Offer slightly differe~t in Canada .